#[thanks for the question nonnie]

[saetiate]

THE OLIVER MARY JANES VS KARASU LOAFERS ???? im losing my fuckin mind pls expand on this .

context

i think oliver likes when you mostly seem like a good girl but he can tell you might be a bit of a freak. maybe your clothes are a little tighter, heels a little higher. your perfume is sweet when you talk to him. or maybe he catches you looking at something on your phone you definitely should not be looking at when you're on the clock or in public. or the abashed way you react when he flirts with you, the way your eyes widen when he says something a little inappropriate, he thinks it's sweet. it makes him wanna reveal more of that from you, unveil it and see how far he can take it. even embarrass you a little about it. he wants to see the facade break apart under him and have you begging for what you really want

karasu on the other hand likes when you're actually good because he gets hard at the most mundane things. you're working on something with a furrowed brow, not paying attention to him at all, and he's both endeared and hard all at once. also things like picking an outfit, pushing through hangers to find something you like, finding a cup in the cupboard and being on your tippy toes. something about it drives him crazy. he just wants to have you right there. you're so cute. he really wants you to let him show you how you make him feel

[epiphainie]

"tommy doesn't think he's inherently unlovable; tommy just refuses to acknowledge what's in front of him to protect himself" i know you said this in a joke but he's trying to protect himself because of his insecurities that he's unloved/unworthy, isn't it? i don't see how these are two opposing statements

*cracks knuckles*

gonna use this ask as an opportunity to write my tenth tommy meta this week. i feel like i'm saying the same thing with different words at this point but who am i to refuse the one nameless person in my inbox.

maybe this is like trying to call between two shades of the same color but there's a difference to me, personally. i don't think this is the only right interpretation but it's the way all the pieces of tommy fit together in my head to make up something interesting. i don't think the show thinks 1% of this nuance (i'm simply a fic writer who's obsessed with character voice) nor do i expect for the storyline to unravel in a way that fits this. this is just what's logical and interesting to me.

"trying to protect himself because he's insecure" i think we got that part in common! i just don't think that every insecurity boils down to a sense of self-consciousness, lack of worth, not seeing yourself as loveable etc. and to me tommy's someone whose insecurities are fear around letting people in, opening up, and putting himself in a situation where it/he could fail because he's spent so much of his life staying in that safe cocoon. i think tommy's scared of what lies beyond his comfort zone which results in this lack of belief that his relationships could even work in longevity and him latching onto anything he could as confirmation bias for that. now i only have tommy's vague backstory to go with here (other than his actions) so i will start there.

what we know about tommy prior to the begins episodes is that he has a father whom he compares to gerrard. now this is me reading into it too much obviously, he could have just meant they're both bigots, but this tells me that more than neglegtful, growing up he had a father who was oppressive. who was on tommy's case too closely and too threateningly and i think that came with huge expectations put on tommy, especially with him being gay and closeted. tommy imo started performing to meet these obscure standards (of being a man, of being a son, of being a soldier etc.) from such a young age which continued into his time in the military and the 118 and, to a degree, the present.

tommy's just incredibly good at the smoke and mirrors of being the cool friend, the nonchalant dude, the vice president of gerrard's boys club, the easygoing boyfriend, the ex who's down to fuck etc. i know people call this his people-pleasing for some cases but there's nothing pleasing about tommy, tommy's a bitch, he puts a little distance in between regardless of how friendly he is, but this doesn't make the act any less of a mask. a mask he's trying to sell as authentic, especially to himself. i think what people don't consider much here is just how easy it is to buy into your own performance of whatever personality you're putting on even when you're aware you're doing it. why poke the bear when it's safe and cozy where you keep yourself to yourself and not risk any disappointment or failure? we know he does this in his friendships, first with chimney (the puppy he simply can't take the responsibility of) and later chimney, hen, and bobby who are alllowed in close enough to enjoy a pint with but not enough to know about abby (and much later, with eddie but it doesn't fit anywhere here. for more thoughts on eddietommy, here).

now we know that tommy's not entirely living a lie at this point. tommy's out and tommy's made some progress on himself. that comfort zone at one point became so unbearable that he had to burst it, regardless of how hurtful and scary it was. i still maintain that tommy's a man who to a degree has made peace with himself. he recognizes himself as a person with wants that are not shameful and past deeds that are not incriminating. this is partly why i don't think tommy's issue is seeing himself as unworthy of love, a relationship, a future etc. and we see tommy move motivated by this changing belief. when we saw him back on our screens again, it's still hard for him to admit (love how much he squirms and tenses up) to vulnerable stuff but he wants to tell buck that he's always wanted friends like the 118 regardless. he goes along with trying again during the coffee scene despite how quickly he took himself out of the situation after their first date. tommy to me is someone who's healed enough to know he can want and he would be wanted back but then...

it gets too much, it gets too close. i won't get too much into my thoughts about the breakup because i've talked about it for months but i maintain that tommy's acting out of a deeply-etched defense mechanism here than an actual belief that buck can do better, buck deserves someone who's not as fucked up as tommy, tommy who's not worthy of buck's love etc etc. however way you put that sentiment. at hearing how much buck wants, how serious he wants to take this relationship, tommy immediately lays down what he's been cooking in his head as a defense against this moment for months, probably without knowing. the reveal about eddie supports this point imo. i can write another meta about what jealousy is for tommy but here more than anything buck and eddie's relationship serves as confirmation of what he knew all along: this relationship was always going to end. he won't be buck's last and that will break his heart. done, the end, this is the story tommy bought into before it even begun. this is the story once put out there ensures that tommy's left alone, in this familiar place where he doesn't have to put too many chips in, where he doesn't have to reveal too much of himself, where he doesn't have to risk his feelings. buck could say no as many times as he wants; it doesn't matter, this is tommy's narrative.

the next time we see him, he's bought into the performance of being okay with this. honestly, most of what powers my tommy meta is that i truly think he's stubborn as hell. regardless of how keen he is, how aware he's doing this, he goes along with buck's flirting. i think i diverge with many people here because nothing imo, NOTHING, about what tommy's doing here is an act of vulnerability. it's the mask, guys, it's the mask! he gives in as much as buck's willing to give back, they both short change each other without talking about what they really want and what the breakup even meant.

but of course they have a great night, and tommy's feeling more hopeful in the morning. (i know i said we haven't seen him regretting the breakup at all but maybe i was being too harsh on him because i can see the breakfast as a gesture of "making up for it" in the classic tommy way of not actually yet acknowledging that he made a bad decision all those months ago but repenting anyway) this is the tommy who showed up at buck's loft to be vulnerable with him, take inititave, clear the air. but ofc despite all that healing, this again doesn't come easily to him, and this time he's more invested in this, there are bigger risks being known in this way (with his insecurities and jealousy and regret (maybe lol)) to his ex compared to sharing one little vulnerable thing with a virtual stranger. and he botches up the entire thing by trying to deliver it with the unbothered, cool guy mask. a little hand-wavy deflection, a little downplaying of what he actually feels. then buck's in his face and it becomes downplaying of what buck says he's feeling, the survival instinct of burrowing into that narrative that makes him feel safe and in the right again. the narrative that AGAIN ensures he's left alone and he's not poked at anymore where he tried to attempt an opening.

when i say tommy's half lies in his head, this is what i mean. not that his mind is telling him he's unloved when he actually is. i mean that he literally has this idea of himself, this idea of buck, this idea of their relationship that he sticks to because it's easier to understand and it's safer for him. people always talk about buck's passivity but tommy's the same, if not worse, because he's treading so carefully he can't allow himself to take an actual chance with buck. it's such a mirror of tommy going along with gerrard's boy club in my head, such a mirror of tommy not risking to emotionally invest in a relationship with chimney, tommy not being able to put himself in a position where he could be family with the 118. buck's familiar in many ways (i don't think either of them were poking the bear during those six months), i actually think a big deal with buck's relationships is that he CANNOT acknowledge any conflict or conflicting emotions but buck's way of dealing with it is to pour out as much as he can even when it's poorly thought out (like jumping to moving in together to cling to their relationship after the abby reveal) or ignore it completely till it comes out (arguably his hurt feelings over the breakup finally coming out in the kitchen fight scene.)

tommy's is to find a counterargument in his own head, to take the strategic exit, to slide it to a side neatly, decisively, cold turkey. he tries, like i said the let's try thing is him attempting to put his heart on a plate regardless of how badly he does it, but he simply cannot stay in that heartbreak for thirty seconds because of the horrifying ordeal of being known. partly to buck, partly to himself. which of course means tommy never actually lives. i think there's something so delicious about this especially for a character like tommy who on the surface has SO MUCH LIFE. he has flying into hurricanes, he has taking friends to vegas, he has million hobbies and one, sex to have with his boyfriend, basketball games to take him to, try desserts around LA and whatnot. but how much of that's living without getting a little real? how much of that's to balance out all the important things compermantalized away?

anyway do i think all this i said mutually exclusive with tommy thinking he's unlovable? not really. i think a base level insecurity in your worthiness is only normal when you put so much between you and the rest of the world but it changes the way i personally see how tommy sounds in his own head and how tommy perceives things. i actually think there's a level of self-assuredness in his stubbornness, in his way of buying into his own narratives and the image he's putting out. i also think he's partially aware he's doing this. so for example i cannot imagine tommy being upset about eddie cutting him off in a self-victimizing manner because he's aware of his own part in it, the intentionality when he left buck the way he did. the same way i cannot imagine him taking buck's words of "i dont have to have feelings for everyone i sleep with" at face value without being half-aware that buck's reacting to what he's said and doesn't mean it. i can't see tommy, who for all intents and purposes was the one who pushed buck away, genuinely taking it as buck telling the truth. tommy in my head either takes it as confirmation for what he knew* all along (*lied to himself about because it fits his narrative and that's a comfortable form of torture, also leaves him kind of blameless for breaking up with buck in the first place) OR if he's genuinely less resistant to the bitch in his ear now, as "lowkey done with my bullshit, let's have some instrospection about what my role here was and how it came to this point that evan's first instinct is to push me away by refusing his feelings"

i don't think he's at that stage yet so i think number one. explains why he shuts down and leaves again. tried, didn't work, i was right to think it wouldn't work. exit, pursued by tommy kinard.

okay last bit, i couldn't find a place to fit this because it's more buck meta BUT what i also love about this interpretation of tommy is the contrast with buck. overcompensating for an inherent lack of self-worth is so buck. being unlovable and hard to love is so buck. that's buck with his neglegtful parents and his abandonment issues and his coma dream where he's only valuable to the story as long as he's useful to the others. that's buck's story we've been watching for eight years. i see tommy as something else, a creature who made home in the safety of not trying that he became a self fulfilling prophecy. what if a boy had to survive situations he couldn't survive as himself and in hiding became a coward? what if that boy who became a man wants to love and care and feels the chance right in his reach, but is too scared to love back in all the ways that unveil more of him than he can bear? anyway i love tommy

[mammalsofaction]

since you've compiled moments where heinz is the possessive one... could we possibly get ones of perry being the jealous/possessive one? 👀

OH NONNIE I GIGGLED

Let's start with the basics 🙏🏼🙏🏼:

Their entire B-Plot in About Time:

Including their legendary first break up song where Perry started staring into puddles like a disney princess with a falshback montage:

(Here's an extended Alt):

Which led to Perry getting pissed off whenever Heinz is in Seattle without telling him (Meapless in Seattle):

And eventually Perry getting pissed off when Heinz got kidnapped by Peter's situationship and rushing to go save him in Seattle again. (Lost in Danville) (Yes, Perry is not the hugest fan of Seattle)

Heinz ended giving Mystery relationship advice and Peter got to meet Mystery's parents :)

Im running out of the picture limit. I can't find the one where Perry got upset when Heinz brought up the babe Inator, but here is Perry getting upset when Mono's speculating about Heinz's new date:

Perry being an overprotective asshole who won't let Heinz do missions during OWCA files:

Some fucking merch content of all things:

Perry being really sad and reaching for Heinz during their SECOND break up arc in Milo Murphy's Law:

Sending a card that was probably his equivalent to falling on knees grovelling:

Damn did I forget to tell you Perry takes pictures, edits, and keeps a whole stash of his photos with Doof in his wallet? Must've slipped my mind:

Anyway. The misunderstanding in MML was because Perry ends up being Time Industries' (Heinz future business endeavor as the Founder of Time Travelling) first and largest shareholder. He cashes in every penny made in overtime for Heinz to build his company back up.

Dan Povenmire stitched this chibi shorts episode as one SPECIFICALLY MADE FOR A "Specific subset of the Phineas and Ferb fandom" spoiler alert: apparently Perry's less upset about Heinz going around kissing people when it's Perry he's kissing.

Here's a short where Perry is apparently less cool about Heinz getting beat up when its someone else beating him up:

And here's a lil bonus Perry getting upset by a fake platypus Baljeet made when he went missing:

This is a very, VERY limited list, including moments of Perry being Fucking Whipped. I have carefully redacted moments of:

-Perry being sweet

-Perry being supportive

-Them being domestic

-Perry being so, so, so incredibly fond of Heinz

-Perry trusting Heinz with his life.

-Perry being sure Heinz doesn't have a life outside of him, anyway.

And in fact i am sure i have missed a lot more out of canon content. Perry being codependent, possessive, protective and jealous is common knowledge at this point. I've made a post before where Perry the Second Dimension proves that Perry has control Issues and an insecurity of being easily replaced by his loved ones, excaberted by Francis' frequent threats of relocating him at the drop of a hat.

Tldr: Perry suffers from down bad-ism and if you look at Heinz too long he is liable to commit violence ♥️♥️♥️

[duchess-of-mandalore]

Hello, I was wondering if you could assist me with some information. I recently fell in love with Satine Kryze after being invited to watch the Clone Wars, but I have some questions.

I don't understand, wasn't Mandalore part of the Republic before the Clone Wars? And if not, was it ever? I hope you read this and can help me. Thanks.

Oooh, welcome, Nonny!! How I wish I could rewatch Satine's arc for the first time!

Okay, so like many things related to politics in Star Wars, we have a lot of details but also a lot of conflicting information. Different reference books will imply different things. Mandalore's history, in particular, is in a kind of static limbo because there was so much history that was established before The Clone Wars, then a lot that George Lucas established/retconned when he approved Satine's story, and then a lot that was retconned or reestablished after Disney declared that the Expanded Universe was "Legends" and that "Canon" could contradict what came before.

However, I actually think I can answer your question without any of that. Yes, Mandalore is a part of the Republic before/during the Clone Wars, and we know this from The Clone Wars itself.

Mandalore has a seat in the Senate. We see Satine in one of the Senate pods listening to a speech given by Padme in one episode, and we know that Tal Merrik is the Senator for Mandalore before he's revealed as a traitor.

In "Voyage of Temptation," Satine is at odds with the Senate and finds herself on the run from Republic forces. When Obi-Wan finds her, he tells her that she should turn herself into the authorities and the reason that he gives is, "We've both sworn a loyalty to the Republic." Satine does not deny this and says, "Believe me, neither one of us is breaking our oath."

The whole reason why the Jedi send Obi-Wan back to Mandalore in Season 2 is because the Senate is hearing rumors that Satine is building an army to fight for the Separatist cause. The Senate is able to exert pressure on Satine only because she is already in the Republic. She's not some free agent, and they want to ensure that she's not acting like one.

Satine leads the Council of Neutral Systems which is by definition made up of 2,000 Republic worlds (who all have seats in the Senate) who wish to remain neutral in the war. There's no way that those Republic worlds would authorize a non-Republic leader to be their primary representative.

I'm sure there are other things I could list, but off the top of my head, those are the biggest pieces of evidence for why Mandalore is indeed a member of the Republic before/during the Clone Wars.

[bonnieisaway]

Thoughts/interpretations of past seven? (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

MY FAVORITE SUBJECT WAHOO! !!!!!!!!!

Okay I've said it like a lot in the past but I do not believe past Seven is different from the current Seven. I will DIE on this hill, they are the exact same person. There is no two different versions of Seven.

'past Seven' is often seen through the eyes of very unreliable narrators. It is very difficult to discern what is and isn't true about Seven, because in the past he was so outwardly emotionless that everybody else would project their own ideas onto him, so any assessments of his personality from Captain Jack and Redtooth are not actually factual. Green Phoenix is the most impartial in his retellings of past Seven, so we can only trust when other characters tell us about the EVENTS that happened, not about how they thought Seven felt.

With the preface, Seven is just as sympathetic and caring in the past as he was now. This is factual. We can learn this from three key things:

He refuses to fight outside of missions, and does not draw his blade unless his life is threatened.

He did not kill Ouyang Zang when he killed his master.

He did not kill the man from season 3, who recounts the story of when Seven was chased by all the killers in Xuanwu, and Seven noticed how scared he was and chose to walk past him.

From these we can gather he does not like killing, and he more often than not is spares people he does not need to kill, even if it is in the future, possibly detrimental to him. Both of the second points come back to bite him later in season three - and that is something he would have known could happen. Ouyang Zang is actively grieving when Seven notices him, but he is not a threat to his life, so he does not kill him.

And there's a pattern set of other assassins willing to kill any witnesses or people who do not, in the current moment, cause them any harm. The assassins that killed Thirteen's mother planned to kill them both - not only for the sake of trying to hurt her father, but they were willing to kill an innocent child. Manjusaka also murders three people in a restaurant for shit-talking Redtooth. Most assassins do not care to spare innocent bystanders or people that are bad mouthing them.

So we can reasonably assume that Seven is not like this, and does not like killing people senselessly. He only ever does it to survive. And that might not entirely sound like he's still an empathetic person - which I think it does but I'll be damned if I won't drive my point home - but we KNOW he is because he scarifies everything for the Girl in White.

Somebody who is ruthless, unfeeling, and a cold hearted murderer - as Seven is often painted as by other character - would have never crumbled for the Girl in White, because they never would have had a reason to. There would never be any empathy within them for her to set free. Seven walked into a trap and committed treason to save her life, for no discernable reason. It is the first time he has ever outwardly protected somebody. Seven, in his past state, has to be an empathetic and caring person in his heart, because only an empathetic and caring person would have put everything on the line to save her. The 'ruthless, unfeeling Shadow Killer' he is painted as has no reason to do this, and would never do this, because he understands the harms way he puts himself in doing this.

These previous instances, of him sparing people and only drawing his blade to protect his life or for a mission, are our first hints that he was not the person people believed him to be.

But then you ask, if he was an empathetic person, who never wanted this, then why did he become a Shadow Killer at all? And the simple answer is: He had to be.

Seven is fifteen years old when he joins the Shadow Killers. He has zero affiliations to any clan, family, or school, and the only other person we've ever seen from this part of his life, is an unnamed, unarmed woman who unexpectedly dies. Leaving Seven alone and fighting to survive for most of his life.

We know from Thirteen's backstory that children are not seen very empathetically in Xuanwu, at the very least, her mother's assassins were not afraid to kill her, too. And we've learned in several instances that the wildlife in Xuanwu is dangerous, there is an entire species of serpent people who shapeshift into humans to try and fucking eat you. It's also incredibly hard to make a living in Xuanwu, as we know from Meowcai, and the most lucrative, easy option is becoming an assassin. Seven is a child who is, presumably, living on his own. I think it is more than reasonable to assume that Seven ended up somehow on the path to be an assassin in order to survive, and he never left because there was nowhere else for him to go. So he grew up to learn to ignore his empathy and compassion because it would only get him killed, because it was nothing but a glaring weakness. So he always keeps a straight face, never lets anybody get close, does his job, and always masks his emotions. This bottles up inside of him up until the incident with the Girl in White, and then he cannot ignore it any longer and risks his life to save her, despite only ever being a killer, and never protecting anybody before.

Seven was always an empathetic person, and he grew up in an environment where he never could be. When he washed up on Chicken Island, he was nothing but his bare bone personality. His core personality never changed, just his environment, and his care free environment allowed him to be a more goofy, loving person than he ever could've been in the past. When people say Seven is 'reverting' to his past self in season four- he's not. He is the same person, in the same environment, who cannot afford, or have the time to be fun loving and goofy. That is why he is a doomed Shadow Killer. Not because he wants to be, or because it's in his nature to kill, but because he will always end up in this situation again, and he will have to resort to killing to protect himself once again. And that 'fun loving' part of his personality will never get to show, because he'll never feel safe enough to let it. Past Seven and Seven are the same person, just in different environments. Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk

[boasamishipper]

i wasnt a hardcore ted lasso enjoyer i watched p casually can u remind me what happened in 2x04 and/or explain why it needs to be disavowed /genq

on a 1977 episode of the hit tv show happy days, the fonz (played by henry winkler) travels to LA with the gang and, when his bravery is challenged, water-skis in swim trunks and his trademark leather jacket while jumping over a live shark. the show went on for another 7 years, but in 1985, radio personality jon hein used this moment to coin the expression jumping the shark - that is, a clear moment when a creative work has "exhausted its core intent and is introducing new ideas that are discordant with or an extreme exaggeration of its original theme or purpose."

when ted lasso premiered in 2020, it was warm, witty, and winsome - the balm many needed after the exhaustion and cruelty of the covid-19 pandemic and the last four years of the trump administration. the show was quickly renewed for a second season, the fourth episode of which was their christmas special. said episode focused on the afc richmond found family and ted and rebecca doing good deeds and ended with everyone singing christmas songs outside the higgins' house, at which point one of the higgins boys sees santa's sleigh flying across the sky.

that episode, to me, marks the exact moment where the show jumped the shark.

from that episode onward, the show became less grounded in reality. the writers downplayed or ignored heavier plotlines with massive implications (sam accused the nigerian government of corruption in a press conference and lost the team a major sponsor in dubai air...and then faced no consequences whatsoever personally or professionally) in favor of elevating silly scenes that did nothing to move the plot forward (ex. the majority of 'beard after hours', the afc richmond team's plotline in the infamous amsterdam episode, the scene where the team tied strings around each other's dicks and practiced that way). the heavier themes that the writers did attempt to tackle (racism and homophobia in british football, sexism, etc.) were done clumsily, with the in-world implication that such systemic issues were the result of a few bad apples and could be solved with teamwork and togetherness.

s1 of ted lasso was so good because for all its focus on kindness and warm fuzzy feelings, the show was still grounded in reality. it still had stakes. the threat of richmond getting relegated was tangible. the consequences of people's actions were real. s2's focus on whether or not the team would get promoted to the premier league was what saved it, but once the team returned to the premier league in s3, all was lost. what was the show's goal that season? to beat west ham? to beat rupert? to get one over on nate? to win the whole damn thing? even characters in universe didn't seem to know. s3 was as aimless and disjointed as it was bloated, with episodes regularly clocking in at over an hour. the show had, very obviously, run out of things to say, and did its best to hide that fact behind season-long mysteries (what did the psychic's prediction mean??) and scenes in the locker room written with all the grace and charm of a 1990s after-school special.

s3 was shut out at the emmys, and didn't make a splash with audiences or critics. and despite the change of setting (ted's coaching the women's team now!), if the writers don't abandon the aimless bloat and exaggerated saccharine that permeated the show from 2x04 onward in favor of real stakes and real character growth and tipping the scales back in favor of realism, s4 will likely go the same way.

[chrollohearttags]

how would reverb eren feel about his dad trying to slither back into his life years later?

this is a really good question and it’s definitely getting addressed in one of the upcoming chapters. But even after all this time, Eren really doesn’t feel as though his dad can be trusted. He’s caused him a lot of grief when he was younger and never made a ‘real’ effort to say sorry for it. Just begging him to come back home and making it seem as if he’d never survive without his money. Now that Eren has become EJ and is far more successful than he ever was, Grisha believes that he’ll just forgive him (he’s one of those people that believes time is an apology, which it is not.) To this day, Eren struggles to cope with a lot of the stuff he put him through and thankfully, no one, not even his mom has ever pressured him to reconnect. Truthfully, as cold as it may be, Eren really doesn’t see a need for his dad to be around and he’ll tell anyone he doesn’t really exist to him. He has his mom, (Y/N), all of his friends and even his grandparents. He doesn’t feel as though he’s missing anything by not having a relationship because they weren’t close to begin with.

[starman-john-tracy]

I know you said you miss a cheeseburger, but there must be other things you miss about not living with your brothers!

"The pizza delivery is pretty lacking." John's mouth quirks into a smile, but then he sobers; as if the question is just starting to sink in properly. "What I miss...? Well," His blue shoulders roll themselves through what looks like an uncomfortable shrug. "I guess I just miss proper food in general. The texture, the taste, the variety..." John sighs. "Freshly prepared meals are hard to come by up here." The edge of a smile comes back to his face, but it doesn't linger long. "Food in space is functional, but on the whole, pretty bland." Most of what Brains sends him up is perfectly nutritionally sound, but it also tastes a lot like tubed, wet cardboard. "I miss preparing meals with my brothers. Eating round the table together. Going out to eat."

He wonders, for a moment, if the question didn't just mean food.

"I think, sometimes, that I miss the feeling of solid ground beneath my feet." John expands, "Not Zero G or Borosilicate. I think I miss the natural weight of my own body without the exact, calculated newtons of the Gravity Ring. I miss the simple act of lying down in my own bed, with real sheets and real dust, and sleeping in the comfort of true gravity."

He misses the little row of plants on his windowsill. He hopes his Grandma is watering them.

"I miss the sound and smells and feel of Earth." Now he's going, John finds he can't stop thinking about all the things he misses. "The heat of the jungle on the Island. The sound of birds in the trees. The rhythm of waves on the beach." He misses the constant background noise his family provides without them even realizing it. There must be hundreds of simple, calming little sounds from their everyday that straight up don’t exist in the emptiness of space. In space, the silence is absolute, broken only by the life support systems and Five's internal machinery. On Earth, there is always that background hum of life. It shocked him most, when he first joined NASA, but he thought he was used to it by now.

John rubs the back of his wrist over his eyes, surprised to find them wet.

"The air feels very different." John breathes, "It's all recycled and temperature and humidity controlled up here. It's drier, and, I don't know-" The spaceman falters, "lighter, somehow? You miss out on all the regular rhythm of daily life - sleeping, eating, socializing. Experiencing changes in the seasons. Time in space feels blurred... I guess." He perches himself on a low seat in the gravity ring, fingers wound into his hair as he dumps his head in his hands, "I'm terrible for missing important events because I didn't realize what day it is down there."

What John doesn't mention, what he misses most, is the simple, comforting presence of his family. What he hates to admit is that, yes, often, it is lonely work, no matter what he says to convince himself otherwise. John wouldn’t ever want to change the holographic world beneath his fingers for the real one, but sometimes the holograms of his brother's are no patch on the real thing. He's got Eos, and he's got a direct line home, and he tells himself that has to be enough.

Because John doesn’t want Alan to have to worry about the thin, quiet nights when John has nothing to do but curl up, solitary, in the dark corner of his bunk. He doesn’t want Scott to know about the nightmares he gets sometimes, of rescues gone wrong. Of it all being his fault. He doesn’t want Virgil to be aware that he's so lonely, and if John ignoring the elephant in the room, or rather, the emptiness of a space station, will help Gordon keep his head down and focused on the job, then John is not willing to breach any of it with them.

The work is simply too important.

[waywardmillennial]

Oooh can you please go on PH crew tangent because I don't think I realized why that's the most expensive show they make. Like I believe them and I guess the lore scenes take a lot of work but other than that idk why it takes them a year to produce 6 episodes.

Hey nonnie! Thanks for the message (based on my prev ask). I've been rotating it in my head to figure out how best to respond - sorry if this is a longer tangent than you were looking for!

To clarify: PH is probably the 2nd most expensive show that Watcher produces. The most expensive would be GF, and that's because they have to cover travel expenses for a whole crew for multiple nights at each haunted location (also GF has the most related "spin-off" shows with Debrief, Road Files, & Evidence Room making it, in Lizzie's words "a big unbankable bitch" of a show)

There are several reasons why it takes so long to produce six episodes of PH. Part of it is Shane's time being spent on nearly every other Watcher show in some capacity, so he has less time to spend on PH. It's also probably why PH has added so many more crew members - to give Shane more time to work on everything, which in turn makes it more expensive to produce

Also, each season of PH the average runtime has gotten longer. Season Six was the longest so far at about 4 1/2 hours overall, with each episode being about 44 mins - putting it on par with many network and streaming runtimes when you think about it!

I checked the credits for PH 6x06 and there are 22 crew members listed. For example, the episode was Written by Garret Werner, Researched by R.J. Blake and has three people working on the graphics (Mike Fox, Mattea Guldy, & Crystal Cheng). And this count of 22 people doesn't include the guests or voice talent for the episode, the puppet makers (Madison Girifalco and DLUX Puppets), or any of the above-the-line producers or show elements that have been locked in for years now, like the logos or stock sound effects!

And Season Six barely had any Lore!

Special Watcher Crew Shout-Out: Charlie Clay, Editing Wizard! She worked on almost every episode of Season Six, and when I checked 6x06 only one other editor (Frank Parker) is listed. I don't know if you've ever tried to edit video, but there are so many elements that go into it and she makes it look so good!

I also don't know if you're on WTV but we're getting basically a short film's worth of Lore at the end of each Season Seven episode (the two episodes we've gotten have both been closer to the 50 min mark) so of course that's more filming time and editing in post

TLDR; Each season of PH has increased in quality and runtime, adding more crew, because Shane is working on many of Watcher's other shows, but they're still producing a full season with a crew of about two dozen people!

Note: I did want to shout-out this comment from Shane in Pod Watcher #055, when he pointed out that PH and GF are both more expensive to produce than TS. I was a little surprised to hear this, since PH doesn't have the travel expenses of the other two shows. But PH has the largest crew out of the three shows (mainly in post-production) so that must be where the difference goes

Good for Watcher for hiring and paying artists and creators!

[okay some PH quality talking points because I couldn't resist]

DISCLAIMER: I love PH and Shane! He's so creative and what he made with the early seasons is very entertaining, so these aren't meant to be critiques. But if you look an early episode (I picked 1x02 because I enjoy it so much) you can see how the show has increased in quality as the years have passed

For example, The Professor's glasses had to be held on with gaffer tape, the theatre didn't have the Watcher logo on top yet (maybe it hadn't been finalized yet? not sure) and the Pile of Diamonds was a literal sock puppet

I love the Diamond puppet! and I would die for him and his crush on the God puppet!

But when you compare these Season One puppets to ones that Madison Girifalco made in later seasons, like Asmodeous or the Hippo, the increase in quality is obvious - and it should be! Because they chose to hire a professional who specializes in making puppets instead of Shane making them on top of all his other jobs at Watcher

The early seasons was when Watcher was just starting out as a company so Shane had to do most of the jobs himself. He's credited as Creator, Writer, and Editor of 1x02, but we know he also built the early puppets and theater himself, was writing and recording the music (with help from Patrick Volker) and so much more! (remember how he had to trigger the question lights himself and pull the curtain up and down on the rope he built in?)

And I support all versions of the show because it's what Shane wanted to make with the resources he had at the time!

I don't think I've seen anyone point it out but in Season Seven it looks like the whole theater got a facelift. It looks scaled up a little to fit the larger Professor and the constellations light up now! And the curtain rolling up is much smoother too

I don't know if this build was done by Shane or with help from other crew members, but it demonstrates that Watcher is continually re-investing into their shows to add to the production quality and I respect that so much!

Edit: Also good to note that Season One was only four episodes

/end rant

[linkedin-offficial]

quick question about the slugcat yellow lizard fella what happens when they accidentally hurt their yellow lizards friends? Or in game you can't hurt your companions like maybe slugpups since I haven't played the game yet

good question!! honestly i would have originally written in that the fact that you cant hurt them is a thing, but that feels a bit boring. instead, the higher karma you have, the more they dont care about being attacked! basically, the more effort you put in, the less consequences will matter. a sort of reward for your hard work!

what this basically means is : high karma = being able to attack and kill yellow lizards as you please.

its sort of like disposable minions in a way ! of course, anyone who likes these beasts so much as to play saffron wouldnt dare to think of doing this .. would they?

[shallowseeker]

A thing that always confuses me is how Jack was able to kill alternative Michael with only the power soul he got from Lily Sunders. Jack only got full power again after killing Michael and taking his grace.

Do you think it could be just Chuck making it easy in order to turn Jack into a soulless being and bring the whole moriah stuff to happen? Because someone with soul magic couldn't be able to kill a literal archangel so easily.

Oooooh, well-argued question. The latter is probably correct, but let's come up with something more fun for the in-story explanation...

One could argue that wielding a soul is sort of like wielding a weapon, dependant on the skill of the user.

We see characters like Henry Winchester tap into his soul to time-jump, but not to aid his battle prowess. He seems to use very little of his soul, as he says it'll take him two weeks to recover.

And of course, like you said, Lily Sunder taps into her soul to throw her weight around for battle. (Which seems to zap a lot more of it.)

Then, Jack. Jack appears to weave the soul-magic around his fingertips, like molding his soul comes almost second-nature.

I liken this a bit to Godstiel, too. If soul-power was easy to tap into, then I think Crowley would be throwing his weight around a Helluva LOT more, especially after he becomes King of Hell.

Instead, he genuinely appears to need Cas--i.e., a specialist--to serve as an attack dog (using the souls).

I think angels (Balthazar, Gadreel, etc.) seem more capable/adept at wielding souls (even if sometimes they explode their vessels by accident).

Which in turn serves as a good argument for Jack to either (a) have an innate angelic ability to wield his own soul or (b) be skilled at wielding it simply by nature of having to curtail and control the volatility of his angel grace throughout the course of his life.

///

EDIT the 2nd: It'd be cool to play with Sam and Dean not just being meant to be vessels...but perhaps fuel, too. Like perhaps the most adept angels can tap further into their vessels without the risk of exploding...

Ergo, some "perfect" vessels serve as potent souls to be drained. Ergo, that's why some archangel vessels get left as "drooling messes" afterward.

[disarmd]

I hope you’ll indulge me with answers for two questions for monaco ln bodyworks! Thanks so much in advance.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Monaco LN Bodyworks for the fic ask! in fact it would be my pleasure, nonnie, <3

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

this question is actually the reason why i reblogged the fic ask game, because i think so much about pairings and i think i'd have an answer to this for every story.

i like writing a lot of different pairings, obviously, so i come up with ideas more like: story first and then the pairing. i don't typically start out wanting to write a certain pairing, it's an idea and then a character, then the pairing. sometimes idea and character at the same time, if the idea is inherently tied to one specific character. in this one, it was the idea on its own first. i was messaging with @1425fivefive and I said: So I don’t like “have a plot” or even a pairing or anything trivial like that, but one thing that I was thinking was: maintenance spankings? That’s it, that’s the full idea.

and then i said, I think it’s hard for me to figure out the pairing for that one because obviously the concept is pretty formal bdsm and its hard to picture any of them being like… trustworthy and competent enough to pull that off. and then i talked about wanting to write dom lando but not knowing if it would work, and then considering lewis and max and oscar, and then amelia said: Low key … Carlos

and then i thought about the carlos subdrop from the ferrari mandated bdsm-lite marketing video (i'm realizing the common theme across this and my last answer, which i come up with stories by doing the opposite of the excellent suggestions other people make, like sliding door glimpses of what could have been if i hadn't instead chosen insanity), went off to write a few hundred words of what ended of being the beginning of the story. and then i reported back to amelia that i had just seen the gif of lando slapping Carlos really hard on the ass and had circled all the way back to dom lando. i just adjusted the narrative of the story so i didn't need him to come across as competent.

and that! is how i chose the pairing for that story, hahaha. i don't normally have it all literally spelled out from the logs like that, but this one was extremely easy to answer.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

i had a couple absolutely incredible comments from people who said they got some stuff out of this fic, and like if anyone did, that's amazing, greatest thing in the world to hear. but i didn't set out to specifically have anyone learn anything. i think what i'd just put forward is the idea of the story as being a small contribution towards the rich tapestry of fandom meta on kink and consent and negotiation. i can't overstate how strongly i did not intend for the story to teach anything, but i wanted to explore what kink fic can look like without the checklist of checklists, haha, like the things that have become standard.

The thing i kept thinking about the whole time i was writing was: how far could i push them in terms of not having explicit verbal consent, in terms of lack of overt negotiation, in terms of leaving out safewords... and still have it feel okay enough. how could stories look if that's the way it was framed. and i mean that as a genuine question. like my intention was to write a story that got quite close to a certain imaginary line. many stories may be written with intention of being so far away from that line that it's not even visible. i think it's great for people to write stories that feel all sorts of different ways. but the things that are happening in the story should suit the function of what the story is trying to convey.

so when i was writing it, i was also thinking about like characterization and plot and the actual story. but from a meta level, i was trying to write the story by focusing on the actual feelings behind the dynamic/kink aspects as opposed to the standard aspects of like paint-by-the-numbers things to write in fic. so like the concept of aftercare. typically in stories, there's this very standard procedure. announcing the scene is done. water bottle and chocolate. cuddling. gentle touch and talking. and obviously lots of those things are valid and accurate to real life, to help someone who is dehydrated and in need of calories, and skin on skin touch to stabilize hormones etc. etc. etc. but the way it can sometimes feel in fic is like these are mythical items, required, the only possible way things can be okay. so when i was writing this, i tried to show aftercare a bit of an alternative way, where like, yes, firstly the point was to try to build lando's characterization, and develop the plot as we see them having increasing intimacy, and create aspects of the actual narrative. but secondly, from the more meta level, i was thinking about it as like: how can i write scenes that show the feelings of aftercare, like how the purpose is for people to reconnect with each other in the real world again, as their non-dynamic selves, to attend to each other's physical needs but also reestablish a foundation of safety. like just thinking a lot about the actual purpose behind narrative conventions (specifically and exclusively in the context of writing fic, i'm obviously not saying anything about real life).

and then i also thought about that as it related to the dynamic aspect, like what are the feelings around writing characters with a dom/sub dynamic vs. the conventions, but i've already been typing for so long so i'm going to stop now.

[mylucayathoughts]

What are your dream roles for Nick? For Taylor?

Hi friend!

Dream role for Nick is princess 😁

Lol kidding.

Dream role for Nick is James Bond of course! I mean, he has the charisma for it. It would be so fun to see him in an action packed film.

Look at him here. He's oozing that James Bond charm 🤩

Dream role for Taylor is Neo from Matrix. I actually never thought of it before, but ever since he randomly added that Neo photo in his insta dump, I can't stop thinking how good he'd be as Neo. Pensive and brooding in all black. Tzp is made for it 👌

Also, idk what I'm doing with this edit. It's bad lmao. But I'm adding it anyways. (the idea seemed more interesting in my head)

Annnnd I want both of these men to play very attentive, loving dads. It would be so fulfilling for me, personally to see them be dads to little kids. Both as firstprince and as other characters 🥰

[little-earthquakes-rp]

What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Pretty early on in my RP experience, I had a major plot point spoiled by an assistant admin in a zombie-based RPG. One of the rules of the group, like many, was to message the main with any major life event, i.e, marriage, death, pregnancy, to get permission. A ship partner and I decided to do an unplanned pregnancy plot, so we asked the main.

A few days later, during a thread, one of the assistant admins' characters notices my character was pregnant BEFORE SHE EVEN KNEW. Like, not a mention of anything from either of the ship's characters. No verbal or even inner narrative mention of pregnancy.

The ship partner and I called them out and left with a few others trailing because of the mess that was occurring behind the scenes (two admins formed a real-life relationship and then broke up). The hard part was that I'd helped the OG admin in the group's infancy by ghostwriting nearly a dozen skeleton bios. So I had put a lot of work into the RP myself, and it felt like a betrayal. The silver lining was that I left with a few amazing long-term writing partners, and I eventually went on to build and administer a couple of groups afterwards before landing in indie-land.

[survivorofhellskitchen]

So, Ms. Page. You're a New Yorker by rights.. rumour has it that the NYPD is having quite the love affair with The Punisher. Other vigilantes they revile, but his icon they've started wearing, tattooing and even painting on to their cars. Any comment?

“The fact of the matter is people are drawn to violence. Hell, in Ancient Rome people were packed into arenas to fight to the death. People flocked to public executions and beatings throughout history. We’ve become immune to it. Depending on who you ask, some will even tell you violence is the key. It’s our only answer to the injustice we feel. Since the beginning of time there’s been an anger, a need to be heard and seen, a need for justice, regardless of the circumstances. We are own worst enemy and our biggest bias. This city…this city is angry. Civilians, cops, politicians. For too long there’s been these sparks and…and the fire finally caught flames. It’s spreading and spreading fast, but no one can agree on how to put it out. Do we smother it, fight it, or just let it burn? There’s a rising majority out there that believes violence is the only way to save us. It’s the survival of the fittest, and Frank Castle- no, the Punisher- is the symbol to too many of what they wish they could be. It’s no secret that the NYPD is tired. They’re burning with the rest of us and now they’re being faced with a choice to uphold their oath of the law or try to fight this a different way…a new way. We’re looking for a symbol, an embodiment to tell us our way is the right way, for right or wrong. That we’re not the only ones feeling the way we are. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but what I do know is that Frank Castle isn’t looking for a following.

[teddybeartoji]

hey, uh, fellow anxiety sufferer with maybe helpful advice? hopefully?? feel free to ignore if this doesn't vibe with you!

so, my anxiety has gotten a LOT better over the years. like, a lot. but when it was more frequent, i would get chest tightness too and i hated it.

so, what i basically learned is that the physiological reason you feel that tightness is because your brain has responded to your anxious state by producing two hormones, namely adrenaline and cortisol.

the fun thing about these hormones? they don't really dissipate if you sit around. other hormones? to my knowledge, yeah. these guys? no. no, they often get worse.

that's probably why it's bad when you're at home, if you're not doing too much physically. sitting when your anxiety is high can backfire if you're being pumped with adrenaline.

the adrenaline is there to get you up and moving to escape danger. it wants you to move.

the cortisol is the the body's stress response. it will turn off your body's ability to relax, and it will continue to do so until you get rid of it.

so, by sitting around and trying to relax to lessen it? usually makes it worse. like. super worse, potentially.

now, breathing exercises and mindfulness are really helpful! for sure! gentle exercise is pretty good when it's low-mid levels of anxiety. walking and aerobic exercise are good for those moments.

i try to walk around 30 minutes a day (if i can fucking time crunch it), and it's been helpful for me, honestly.

the thing about "oh, you should exercise more" people would tell you when i was struggling really kind of ticked me off (because, hey, there's a lot more to it than that!) and kind of made me more reluctant to exercise, honestly.

however, once i figured out what i enjoyed doing and that it was really just for me? yeah, i liked it.

my best advice, perhaps, is for when the chest pain gets really bad. if you ever feel like you're going to have a panic attack and you want to avoid one, the best thing you can do is REALLY INTENSE EXERCISE.

LIKE. DROP AND GIVE ME OVER 9000!!!!

seriously, just drop and do as many push ups if you can. can't do push ups, make it easier by laying on your knees or performing something that's more comfortable to you.

also, if you can, run. specifically, LIKE YOU'RE BEING CHASED BY A BEAR. just GO FOR IT.

because the adrenaline is specifically designed to make you run away like you're running from a fucking bear. by doing so, you cut down on the adrenaline, and your body feels like it has successfully escaped the imaginary bear that is threatening you. and it calms down.

so you calm down.

do whatever strenuous activity you can really intensely until you can't anymore or just feel done, and after you catch your breath, the feeling should be lessened.

otherwise, a different avenue to try may be intense distraction. like, not lowkey distraction like watching tv. something that requires a lot of attention. try doing a really hard puzzle, quizzing yourself on subjects you like, whatever really actively engages your mind.

a combo of physical and mental engagement might be helpful, too. whatever feels good or works for you. the tightness can be really annoying (or distressing when you're not feeling great), but there are things to be done for it! the tightness can get better, and with attention, it likely will. go for it!

moral of the story: RUN LIKE A FUCKING LUNATIC IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER!!!

NONNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 YOU ARE AN ANGEL SENT FROM HEAVENNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me a proper homebody watching you say that just sitting around won't do me any good O . O lmao NO BUT BUT BUT THIS IS VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've been thinking about doing yoga again,, okay it's not very intense per se but i feel like that would still probably help right.. ?

and goddd i actually really fucking love running!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not that i'm any good at it but it's so fucking fun lmao i do have some . things that keep me from doing it though that always just sound like i'm trying to look for excuses and i fucking hate that i wish i could just put on running clothes and just go and do it .

YOU DID JUST REMIND ME THAT I HAVE A JUMPING ROPE THOUGH THAT'S ALSO SMTH I USED TO DO A LOT AND I LOVED ITTTTT i think i've been taking steps back lmao i think i've lost the progress i managed to make a few years ago sighhh this is good though this post this ask. it feels like a very needed gentle bonk on the head hgsdhgadhgashg SO THANK YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM KISSING YOU SOOO SOOO SWEETLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ILYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!