#[she has zero understanding for how people interact with each other truly. her ‘parents’ hated each other — she hates calling them that

[clawsextended]

selina is extremely contradictory in almost every sense, but you kind of get used to it after awhile. at first it’s jarring, and then you realize how different her lived experiences are, and it ceases to be shocking how selina can act one way and think another. her frame of reference for most interactions is either nonexistent or cruel. it doesn’t take more than ten minutes of conversation with a genuine selina to realize she’s kind of improvising… everything, here.

[zevranunderstander]

actually obsessed with the theme of loneliness in the locked tomb. like. most of the protagonists seem to be or have been lonely in some major way in their life and idk what to really do with that info right now, but.

the lyctors all lost people they dearly loved, many of them lost the person that meant most to them in the whole world. and then they had to watch while all of their friends died one after another, until in HtN there are only three of them left. also due to the resurrection beasts, lyctors can never visit civilization again they are trapped to live forever running away and interacting only with the ever dwindling group of people they knew for centuries.

harrow and gideon grew up without parents and with zero peers and they were supposed to be there for each other and fix their loneliness but they instead made it worse. also both of them feel unloved by their dead/absent parents, harrow has to bear the weight of what her parents did and had to live with the fact that they killed themselves because of her and gideon could only hope that her mom had loved her.

and kiriona gaia is just. the person gideon became when she realized that her mother didn't love her, the only person she did love was gone and also probably didn't love her that much and everyone around her just wants to use her as a tool in some way.

cam goes above and beyond to save palamedes and once she does they are forced to share the same body, and are 'forever one minute apart', and can never really see each other again.

and i know everyone hates him but john chapters in NtN really show how lonely he is? he lied to everyone and changed their idea of who they are and how they know john and while he has them back in some way, he truly is the only person remembering what happened. the parts of NtN where he says stuff like 'and then the NATO did x', and there is no one in the entire galaxy who knows what the NATO is anymore except for him. he manipulates all of his former friends to become lyctors so their ONLY choice is to stay by his side. they are the only people he can still barely relate to and the ones who didn't already die are all betraying him. and i dont even think he doesn't understand why they do it, but his own character flaw of being unable to really admit to personal missteps and the fact that he cannot undo the past the past anymore and believes that what he did was too horrible to be excused, he cannot do anything really than watch everyone he still has on his side betray him.

and i am REALLY interested in where tamsyn muir takes this theme in the last book

[demonxlove]

【character analysis ― douma】

✎ just wanna start this by saying this is sort of both an analysis but also my own personal portrayal on douma’s character based on what we see from canon, so it definitely has a lot of my own opinions on it. & and it also sort of shows how i plan to write him if/when i get requests for him. you don’t have to agree with any of my thoughts but ya know i wanted to share them since douma is my fave character!

✘ warnings before you read: cults, mental illnesses, mentions of death and trauma, especially childhood trauma (that partially stems from neglect) - also not so much a warning but this is very long and obviously contains manga spoilers.

⇢ let’s be completely honest here, douma is an extremely complex character. and while we know a lot about him, at the same time, it’s almost like we know barely anything. we don’t really know an extreme amount of what goes through his head, but it’s kind of just assumed he’s a completely emotionless character, usually stated to be a psychopath because of this.

⇢ i really, really urge anyone labeling a character with a mental illness to do research on it before even considering to use the term, i should mention. and it’s very important to mention mental illnesses are very different to how they effect each person. but from what i understand, both psychopaths and sociopaths (just in case that term gets thrown around too) feel emotions, just very differently to how someone not suffering from the mental illness does. now since i don’t have either illness i’m not gonna say douma is either one, as i personally don’t feel comfortable diagnosing characters with mental illnesses i don’t have or haven’t very clearly been stated they have in canon, but it’s very important to have a very clear understanding of those illnesses if you’re gonna say douma is one.

⇢ but regardless of how you see douma mental illness wise, i personally think he does have emotions, they’re just obviously not as clear as others due to his upbringing. and we do see he has emotions as a kid, shown very clearly by him crying due to everything these grown adults were piling on to him.

⇢ he’s very obviously upset. and why wouldn’t he be? to hear such things from adults day in and day out as a child, being expected to be the one to solve their problems? it’s stressful. it eventually leads up to what we see of his parents death. he’s not upset. he doesn’t really feel any sadness for the two. but that can be explained.

⇢ his parents never acted as parents to him. from the moment of his birth douma was just an object for them to create this cult. i don’t really know what they wanted from it: money? fame? who knows. but it doesn’t really matter. douma was just something for them to use in order to gain what they wanted. even if they did genuinely believe he was a special child, their actions sure didn’t show that. and while douma said that he felt sad they believed he was special, douma was a child. his parents had no reason to show their genuine intentions to him, so we’ll never really know what they thought. but as i said, they didn’t seem to care much how messed up he became as long their cult was in place. douma never had a chance to live a normal childhood, he was placed on a high pedestal from birth and never got to be child. never got to really understand things he should understand. he couldn’t understand actual genuine love from his parents or if he actually loved him. sure, he could feel things such as happiness and love and all of that, but if he did feel it, how could you ever expect him to know? he was in such a constant horrible state, how would he ever know how positive emotions even felt?

⇢ to go back to his parents deaths for a second, even if he didn’t feel anything, it didn’t mean it didn’t cause him any suffering. he was a child, that sort of thing you don’t come out from without trauma. especially since he saw it happened with own eyes. and that probably significantly worsened his already poor mental state. but that also means he was raised from that moment by the cult, and his chance of every coming out okay was straight up zero. let’s be real, the only reason douma has any sort of hold over the cult is because he is their object of worship. they didn’t treat him like a child or even a human being. he was nothing more than someone for them to worship and believe in that they would be blessed. of course, it’s a cult, so most of these people are victims much like douma himself, but the fact there had to be people at the top that were raising him and used him to accomplish their own goals. to use his influence as they saw fit.

⇢ and it was never ending cycle, he never got out of it. all he did was learn to keep the cycle going since he couldn’t simply just leave. and maybe there were moments where he thought himself to be happy due to having so many people worship him, but it wasn’t true happiness. 

⇢ maybe the first bit of happiness he got was from being a demon and getting to interact with other demons? unclear since it’s not like we really saw it. but it was different. it was a small crack in the cycle. but those demons all ended up hating him due to his attitude, that despite no one liking he still kept up. why? why didn’t he just act in a way to make others like him?

⇢ maybe it’s a reach, but to me personally, it’s a mixture of how he desired to be - carefree without any troubles - mixed with how he imagined a child to act. like i said, he had basically no childhood, and it’s not uncommon for those who never get to experience a proper childhood to act more childlike later on to my understanding. he even uses terms like “bully” to describe people much like a child would.

⇢ however, this brings me to what i truly believe was one of the few happy times in douma’s life: kotoha.

⇢ i don’t think he realized it himself, because why would he? but he cared for a lot more than one would believe capable for him. i’m not sure if i would call it romantic or purely platonic, but kotoha was genuinely important to him. i mean, what purpose would he ever have to say he didn’t plan to hurt her?  he wanted to keep that small bit of happiness in his life, maybe in somewhere deep in his heart he even believed they could be their own happy little family to break this never ending tragic cycle he went through.

⇢ but he lost that happiness. she grew scared of him and basically hated him in his eyes upon finding out the truth. and the cycle of tragedy continued once again.

⇢ and to really come to my last point: we’ve seen douma mad.

⇢ and i suppose some could write this scene off as him continuing to be emotionless, but it doesn’t explain the way it’s drawn. the shading on his face that is usually used to show anger. or why he would ever really care about what kanao said in the first place if it was actually true and it didn’t hurt him in some way. the reality is douma does many things that can’t be explained for someone who supposedly has no emotions. and a lot of these details about his character are more subtle, so maybe they mean nothing at all at the end of the day, but in my personal opinion this is how i interpret them.

✎  but that’s really how i see douma, another demon with an extremely tragic story, but one that doesn’t come to light just how tragic until you think more on it. and that is how i do plan to portray him when writing for him personally! maybe i’ll do this more for other characters at some point, but he was the one i wanted to talk about the most since i just have so many thoughts on douma.

[jungleslang]

I'm sorry, but I cannot understand people who say that Elriel shippers hate Lucien and want to cause him pain or are advocating for him to experience pain and ultimately be unhappy. I understand that the mating bond is a huge deal in fae culture, and that it's more difficult to deal with for the male than for the female. But shipping Elain with Azriel despite this does NOT mean that I hate him. The opposite is actually true. It literally makes zero sense.

I've seen this argument too many times throughout the years, and I saw it again today, so I've decided to address it. I'm going to discuss why Elriel doesn't equal Lucien being unhappy, as well as some Elriel and Vucien foreshadowing, and why this could lead to Lucien's happiness. Be aware that I'm obviously biased, and this is in no way meant to hate on Elucien or Elucien shippers. I'm just addressing this specific argument. All ships are valid, and we don't ship shame in this house. This is just my personal opinion, and I know that what I ship might not be endgame.

Also this is gonna be pretty long, don't say I didn't warn you.

I want to start off by saying that a big reason why I don't ship Elucien is honestly BECAUSE I love Lucien. Elain has consistently shown not even an ounce of interest in him for the past three books. Lucien himself also says that Elain was "thrown at him," while Jesminda, his past love, chose him. Elain has never used or shown her appreciation for any of the gifts Lucien gave her (which is her right). She has clearly stated that she does not want a mate. She also currently has feelings for Azriel, and it's been said that Elain "shrinks" in Lucien's presence, her newfound boldness suddenly gone. I'm sorry, but why would I want this for Lucien?? Why would I want Lucien to be with a woman who does not love him and currently has feelings for another male? A woman who literally shrivels up when he is near her? Lucien deserves to love and be loved wholeheartedly. And of course, Elain does, too.

Additionally, Lucien's words about Jesminda highlight that having a choice and being truly chosen are things that matter to him. And who are the people that Lucien has actively chosen to be with? Jurian and Vassa. Lucien is a centuries old fae male, with experience in multiple courts, and he's chosen to shack up with two humans in the human lands. That means something, and it shows that Vassa and Jurian are the people he feels comfortable with, the people he trusts, and most importantly, the people who make him feel wanted. Wanted enough to literally live with them after all of his trauma, after being barred from his home in the Spring Court by Tamlin, a person he loved cherished more than anyone else. And Jurian and Vassa have also chosen him.

As someone who absolutely loves Lucien, THIS is what I want for him. For him to be with people he chose and who in turn chose him. I want what's best for him, and so far, the text has indicated that Jurian and Vassa are what's best for him. I mean come on, the three of them literally created a name for themselves, the Band Of Exiles. The one time we saw Lucien actually laugh in ACOWAR was when he was with Vassa at the end. He blushes at the mention of her and has a "spark" in his eyes when he talks about her. Let's also not forget about this part in ACOFAS:

Lucien says that he's not living with them, the manor belongs to all of them. And even Feyre remarks how he's more comfortable around them, two humans, than people of his own race. I feel like this part is so overlooked. To me, it really demonstrates that Lucien has indeed found a home with these people, a home that belongs to all of them, and that he feels he truly does belong with them.

Additionally, it bothers me when people imply that rejecting the mating bond automatically equals unhappiness while accepting it guarantees love and happiness. Elain and Lucien rejecting their mating bond does not mean that Lucien is doomed to be unhappy and in pain for the rest of his life. And accepting it does not mean they'll be happy, either. We literally have proof of this in the books, and it comes in the form of Rhysand's parents. Rhys says that his parents were wrong for each other, and that his mother eventually came to hate his father, only staying with him because she was grateful to him for saving her wings. That is not a happy relationship.

Also, something that is one of the biggest hints toward Elriel for me, is the fact that every single mated couple we see in the books that actually ended up together had feelings for each other BEFORE the mating bond snapped into place. Rhys had feelings for Feyre while they were under the mountain, and Feyre fell in love with Rhys before she knew they were mates. Nessian's mating bond also didn't snap into place until after they already loved each other. And we also have Kallias and Viviane, who were in love before they discovered they were mates. These relationships all had solid foundations before the mate bond came came into play. Romantic feelings were established before the bond. For Elucien, this was not the case. Their mate bond snapped into the place the day they met each other, which directly mirrors Rhys' parents, whose mate bond snapped into place the moment they met and who also weren't right for each other. (Coincidence? I think not.)

We also have to remember that we have never been inside Lucien's head, with the exception of that one scene where Feyre infiltrates his mind while he's talking to Elain. That one glimpse alone mainly deals with the feelings he has for Elain due to his instincts because of the mate bond. It's also where he says Elain had been thrown at him. We don't actually know the extent of what he feels or doesn't feel for Elain. We don't know if he has romantic feelings for her outside of his instincts because of the bond, which we know is important based on what we discussed above. Yes, Lucien gives her gifts and clearly wants to get to know her, but we don't know whether he's just doing this out of obligation because the bond is so important in fae culture. Which might also be the reason Elain hasn't formally rejected him yet.

I think that there is a decent chance that this is the case based on what we've seen in the books. I also get the feeling that Lucien might be pursuing Elain out of obligation because Elain hasn't given him the time of day, and they've had no meaningful moments/conversations up until now. He doesn't really know her. How can you have feelings for someone you don't know and haven't spent any real time with? There are also these scenes from ACOFAS and ACOSF:

In ACOFAS, Feyre says that Lucien doesn't seem to have a real interest in bridging gap between him and Elain. In ACOSF, Cassian says the words "my mate" drip with discomfort when Lucien says them. This indicates that he's not so comfortable with calling Elain his mate / having her as his mate.

I also think this part is important because the level of comfort the characters have with each other is a distinguishing factor of the ships. Lucien is more comfortable around Vassa than Elain, while Elain is more comfortable around Azriel than Lucien.

As I stated before, this is the only time we see Lucien laughing in ACOWAR. Additionally, his shoulders are loose, indicating that he is not only comfortable but also relaxed, which is a rare thing for Lucien in the recent books with all the shit he has going on. In contrast, there's always a tension underlying his and Elain's interactions. Based on the fact that Vassa is chatting with him "animatedly," I would say she's likely comfortable around him, too.

There are also these two passages from ACOMAF, which I'm sure every Elriel shipper already knows lol.

We can also see that Elain has been at least somewhat comfortable around Azriel from the start, even when she was afraid of the fae and engaged to a fae-hating man. She even engaged him in a genuine conversation about flying. These two excerpts also show that Elain is somewhat attuned to Azriel as well. She notes his body language and uses it to gauge the situation. This also indicates a certain level of trust in him. And this has only increased as the story progressed. He's content to just sit beside her in the garden, she tells him about her plans for the garden, and they stay up late talking to each other. Their interactions signify how at ease they are with each other, which I think is big thing for Azriel, who's always described as cold and filled with an icy rage. Rhys says it took Mor centuries to get Az to loosen up, but he eased up around Elain in a remarkably short amount of time for someone usually so closed-off.

So, the conclusion here is that Elucien is not the only ship that guarantees all characters' happiness as some people say. Lucien is completely capable of being happy and finding a home without Elain accepting the bond, and the evidence is in the books. The fact that Lucien actively chooses to live together with Jurian and Vassa, and that Elain has constantly chosen to be around Az while showing no interest in Lucien is the reason while I will always stan Vucien and Elriel over Elucien. It's all about choice for me, which is something that's also emphasized in the books and seems to be important for both Elain's and Lucien's arcs.

And all Elriel shippers absolutely don't hate Lucien. If I'm being honest, I actually like Lucien as a character more than Azriel. While I am a diehard Elriel stan and I adore Az, Lucien is a more interesting character to me. He was raised in the Autumn Court, lived in the Spring Court, and ended up becoming part of the Night Court, as well. Then we find out he's the heir to the Day Court, and now he lives in the human lands with Jurian and Vassa. He has connections to so many places, and yet struggles to belong. He was lost, and found a home with two other lost people. The Lost Queen Vassa, and a human who was resurrected in a world that moved on without him.

This is also why, in my opinion, Vucien / The Band of Exiles has so much more potential than Elucien. I don't want another story about mates ending up with each other. Give me the found family trope that is the Band of Exiles.

If you've made it through this whole thing, thank you. As always, I'd love to hear your opinions!

[mrs-tsunderemeitantei]

DISCLAIMER: HUGE, LONG RANT AHEAD!

ALSO SPOILERS IN CASE YOU'RE NOT UP TO DATE WITH THE MANGA OR WITH ZERO THE ENFORCER!

Soo in case you missed it, Gosho released the SDB Justice Plus some time last month:

The biggest shocker was the answer to Question number 4, shown below:

Basically this translates to:

Q4: On the Mystery Train, he (Amuro) said to Miyano Shiho that “My comrades who are tracking us have made arrangements in order to retrieve you”, but were those comrades from PSB? If that’s the case, I’m curious about how he planned to deceive Vermouth...!

A: Those were comrades from the Black Organization, so there was no need to deceive them.

Ummmm...what??

Idk about y'all but when I read this, I was livid. It didn’t make any sense to me. And quite frankly, I didn't want it to. Maybe because I am one of those (very rare) people who thought Rei and Shiho could eventually end up together (Don't laugh, it would have made sense, and I'll write about that in a separate post).

Anywho, safe to say Gosho's latest confession left me in absolute confusion. Like why? Just why? Then I realised I'm more butt-hurt about this because I was fixated on a certain idea of Rei's character and chose to ignore his other sides, as if they didn't exist. It didn't help that his past is so freaking depressing which got me sympathizing with his character and led me to either ignore or make excuses for any red flags.

But now that I think about it, it sadly makes sense. It also explains why he didn't show any sadness or regret when he saw Shiho supposedly ‘die’ in the luggage cart in the Bell Tree Train Arc.

Now to let me wrap my head around this, I needed to breakdown his three "faces":

1. Amuro Tooru is a cheerful, friendly, generous, carefree, outgoing man.

2. Furuya Rei is a serious, law-abiding, calculating, patriotic police officer who is willing to die for Japan's security.

3. And Bourbon is a devious, manipulative, cunning, deadly agent.

Yet, ever since we found out he was in fact an NPA agent, we (or at least I), seem to have forgotten about those dark sides he possesses. Also with Zero's tea time showing us a softer side of his character it was easy to get caught up in "he's 100% one of the god guys" when in fact, he's a complex, grey character. 

He has shown on multiple occasions, just how far he is willing to go, to achieve whatever goal he’s set his mind on. Let's not forget how in Zero the Enforcer, he completely flipped the switch. (I know this isn't Canon but...) The man went as far as to create a suspect and jail the innocent Mori Kogoro so he can legally investigate the case and emotionally manipulate Conan into unkowningly help with the investigation.

Also, in the Detective Nocturne’s case he deliberately didn’t tell Ran as soon as he noticed Conan might have been kidnapped by the criminal because he hadn’t finished investigating the apartment.

And in the Scarlet Arc, he was willing to harm Jodie's teacher friend, so he can lure out the FBI and advance his investigation on Akai’s death. Let’s not forget once he figured out the truth, he was willing to expose Akai’s fake death (which I get it he's out for revenge), but by doing so, he would have also gotten Kir killed (even though I'm pretty sure he knew at that point, she was in fact a NOC).

As we can see, be it Bourbon, Furuya Rei or  Amuro Toru, he will stop at nothing to reach his goals, even if it means throwing innocent people under the bus. So, now when Gosho says his "partners" were in fact BO members and not the PSB, I'm no longer surprised.

I mean, why wouldn’t he sell Shiho back to the organisation? Because he knew she was Sensei’s daughter, and that should have meant something to him? Alright, let’s talk about that.

Did he love Shiho’s mum? Yes, he did, there’s no doubt about that (one of the reasons he joined the joined the police in the first place was to find her, so you can't convince me otherwise).

But what if he loved Japan even more? (It's not canon, but he did say in Zero the Enforcer that the safety of this country matters most to him, even if it means he’d end up paying with his own life).

So, I'm going to take a wild guess as to how he could have felt when he found out the woman he loved as his own mother, willingly joined the deadly organisation that threatened the safety of his country. Based on his memories, he remembered her encouraging her husband to join the Carasuma group.

So, if through his investigations, he was able to realise she is the same woman from his childhood, I’m pretty sure he would have been very disappointed.  I’m not sure the extent of his knowledge about the drug, but if he also found out their research created the poisonous APTX-4869, I reckon it would be more reason for him to be upset.

Now let's talk about Haibara/Shiho. To any outsider who's unaware of the truth of her past, she is a woman born into the organisation, then was groomed and taught from a young age by the syndicate and promoted to take on their research. A research that produced a poisonous drug, just like her parents did. Also, she only ran away after the organisation killed her sister. Before that, she was a high-ranking member. With all these facts, why would he think of her as anything but a criminal just like the rest of the BO members? It’d be rather foolish for him to not hand her back to the organisation just because she is the daughter of the woman he once thought so highly of. If anything, he’d be killing two birds with one stone, by executing a criminal, while also gaining higher standing in the organisation.

As fans of Haibara, we are rightfully upset by his intentions of returning her to the organisation because we know her truth. He doesn't. It wasn't until we learnt more about her painful past and kind and caring nature that we grew to love her. We know she never wanted to create a poisonous drug. That she already hated the organisation for using the drug as a poison. That she had to develop the drug to protect Akemi’s life.

There is no way Rei would have known about any of the bullying she or her family faced from the BO. By nature, Shiho is very secretive and reserved and very little of her personality or history would have been known by any of the BO members (except maybe Gin). Therefore, apart from the files the BO would have kept on Shiho and her role in the organisation, that’s all Rei had to learn about her. So, I can’t really blame him for choosing to hand her back to the organisation.

Some people who are still in denial, argue that if he planned to kill Shiho, why was he willing to kill whom he thought was Vermouth instead of handing her over?

Shouldn’t that prove he was going to take Shiho to safety to the PSB, not the BO? Before Gosho's statement, I would have agreed but now...sigh. Now, I get why he did that. If Shiho were to die BEFORE she was returned to the organisation, he wouldn’t have gained the trust he was seeking. If she were to die AFTER he delivered her, I highly doubt it would have mattered to him. Although I'm still hoping he maybe he had a plan of not leaving her in the organisation's clutches after "handing her back" and he never truly intended on getting her killed. But since Gosho also said there was no need to deceive Vermouth, I highly doubt it. (Heart breaking).

After such an explanation, does everything make more sense now? Maybe. Am I ok with it? Hell no! I’m quite angry and annoyed that this is how things turned out to be, but it is what it is. We have to accept that Rei is not a good character, and he's not a bad character. He's a grey character and when you think of it that way, it's easier to understand his behaviour. Not that I agree with it. After Gosho's statement, I think pretty sure Rei is in dire need of some character development. He could stand to learn a thing or two from Conan who manages to reach his goals while preserving as many lives as possible (Akai's fake death being the burst example while managing to drive Kir back to the BO).

For now, I’m looking forward to the developments that will entail. I’m curious to see how Rei and Haibara will react once they eventually meet each other. It'll be interesting to see what will go through his mind once he figures out her true identity. One thing I'm sure of is once they're introduced to each other, emotions will be running high and things will get intense. Which honestly, I can't wait for and I'm counting down the days till I get a proper Amuro/Haibara interaction.

[bigskydreaming]

Something I don’t think I’ve ever seen explored but that could be a possibly interesting subversion of the common conception that Dick is Bruce’s favorite, even according to his other children:

What if the things they viewed as favoritism were really just overcompensation? For instance, when Dick and Bruce started being presences in each other’s lives again after Tim became Robin, it was a gradual thing, they only slowly kind of got used to being around each other again over time. As I’ve often said in the past, my big gripe about this, and why I so intensely dislike all of that being framed as Tim being a catalyst for reuniting them, is its precisely BECAUSE of how it all played out that way, that Bruce....never actually needed to apologize or make amends to Dick or even ASK for him to come back....which compounded the fact that he’d never really ever gotten around to doing all of that because of the conflict between them for other reasons before Jason’s death happened.

And I do think a lot of that has to do with Bruce’s tendencies towards self-flagellation, though this doesn’t excuse it. I honestly do believe that it’d be perfectly in character if the reason Bruce never apologized for all that even then was because he didn’t think what he’d done WAS forgivable, so it felt....false to him, to try and ask for forgiveness. What this fails to consider though, is that apologizing, making amends, TRYING to make up for what you did to the other person.....its not about WHETHER or not they forgive you, or think they can.

Its simply about acknowledging wrong and harm done, and saying....you’re sorry. You regret it. You know it was a mistake and that you can’t take it back, but you just want them to know you’re....not unaware of the harm you caused.

After that, yeah, the ball is in their court, but if you never actually put that out there, how are they ever supposed to truly KNOW that you know that? Believe that?

How can people ever be asked or expected to grant forgiveness when its so commonly depicted as though for the people who hurt them, even just ASKING for it is harder than it must be for the people who WERE hurt to GRANT it?

But Bruce is very much someone who believes that actions speak louder than words, so I could see someone taking the angle that he tries to EXPRESS his regret to Dick in other ways, through various actions and behaviors with or around him.....which could be construed to others in the family as displays of favoritism....

Because they’d have no way or any reason to think of them as attempts at amends or expressions of regret, like they would, say, if any of those similar behaviors were exhibited around Jason - whether they were accepted by Jason or brushed off. Point being, they would GET that this was what it was with Jason, because they’re all aware Jason is angry at Bruce for very specific things, with most of them being aware what MOST of those things are (definitely not counting the ending of UTRH). 

(And just pointing out here again for emphasis since its not like I tack it on as a qualifier in all my posts, but I honestly hate how frequently various parts of fandom decide one character or another is Bruce’s favorite or worse, that this is OKAY, like its not a fundamental problem if he definitively has a favorite. Of course that creates divides in a family. To me, ideally, a healthy Batfam has no favorites, they just have members of the family who are more favorite to them in SOME ways than in others. 

For instance, I also dislike the idea that Damian is Dick’s favorite, but I don’t think the closeness of their relationship is threatened or mitigated by acknowledging that the bonds between Dick and his other siblings are just as strong, just in different ways. That its ‘special’ with Damian in a way it isn’t with the others because of how close they got that year Dick practically raised him, that makes the nature of their relationship different. But its equally ‘special’ with Jason, because Jason was Dick’s FIRST brother, they were each other’s first family beyond just parental figures, there’s a significance to that which doesn’t just go away, and still neither of those undervalues the fact that Tim and Dick spent years being close as the only two brothers, who had only each other and Bruce, and Bruce sometimes being emotionally or even physically unavailable to turn to making it that much more necessary for them to turn to each other, essentially, between Jason’s death and return and even after Cass became a presence in their lives, due to her usually going to Babs for the kinds of things Dick and Tim would work through together, and then of course Cass is Dick’s only sister which puts her in another category altogether, not better or worse, its simply that Cass is neither Dick’s brother nor was she ever a Robin so they have a relationship that for example, whatever else it consists of, will never be defined or threatened by any of the issues that have plagued the family when it comes to the Robin succession. And Duke and Dick’s dynamic of course is still basically just whatever the hell you individually decide it to be because hahahaha what if you wrote them interacting for more than like, one issue only, DC HMMM?

Point being - FUCK family favorites. The whole idea is stupid and toxic and IMO fundamentally incompatible with an actual healthy, functional Batfamily, so it kinda blows my mind when I see people UPHOLDING the idea of this character being so and so’s favorite or everyone knows Dick is Bruce’s favorite and Jason is Alfred’s favorite and Damian is Dick’s favorite....no. Why. Stop that. They can all be special to each other in entirely different ways for entirely different reasons. Family is not a zero sum game. And none of this means that there aren’t some of them who just GET ALONG better than they do with the others at sometimes, or like these two just tend to have more fun with each other, or this is who this one usually goes to when this happens, etc. There’s nothing wrong with that, that’s good, it just means.....things are different between different members of the family. That doesn’t have to equal FAVORITES though. Favorite to share this particular activity with? Sure. OVERALL though? Miss me).

ANYWAY.

Detour aside and circling back to my point.....say for instance the other kids see Bruce appear to be making an effort with Jason, singling him out for praise or acknowledgment....its not hard for them to imagine reasons WHY Bruce might be doing that, which don’t automatically equate to an insecure conviction that Bruce just loves Jason more than them and he’s his favorite....because there are other explanations, other reasons why Bruce might feel a need to act differently with Jason than he does with the rest of them, things unique to their dynamic. Similarly, say for instance Bruce is written making a particular effort with Damian to acknowledge him - there’s lots more angles to spin it as than just favoritism, they had a very rocky start everyone in the family is aware of, so its more likely to just read as like....Bruce making more of an effort where its already understandable to everyone else that an effort is merited. 

And Bruce HAS admittedly at different times been written as very clearly making an effort and being a good father to his kids, like, the capacity has always been there of course. But there were ‘good times’ with Bruce and Jason, with Bruce and Dick, with Bruce and Tim, etc, etc. So when the effort being seen comes paired with an understandable or apparent GAP the others are aware of.....the effort is easily seen as nothing more than BRIDGING the already existant gap, rather than....advancing that one particular child AHEAD of the others.

So much of the conflict between Bruce and Dick during Jason’s time as Robin stemmed from the fact that.....there was a huge, existing gap between Bruce and Dick even BEFORE Bruce took Jason in....and there was no effort made by Bruce during that time to bridge that gap. And then Bruce took Jason in, adopted him, made him Robin....STILL while making no attempt to reach out to Dick, make amends, bridge the gap he was steadily INCREASING between both boys and their respective relationships with him....so y’know, its kinda hard NOT to see or at least understandably imagine favoritism from Dick’s POV there....

BUT, its also easy to imagine why from the other kids’ perspectives, Dick might be Bruce’s favorite or the one he’s closest with, and its not because he’s perfect or the original or anything like that, but rather just....time.

Quite simply, Dick is the one kid Bruce spent the most time with, before any of the others joined the family. He spent a good eight years growing up in the manor, Bruce’s only family other than Alfred. Its quite easy and understandable to imagine from the perspective of the ones who came later, this would translate into more closeness, more ease and familiarity, even more respect, more love......because that thing that they each have with Bruce to some degree, that makes them family, the time spent with him, the comfort or praise they’ve received from him, purely in an empirical sense, in terms of rough numbers if nothing else, Dick has had more of it. Bruce has given more of it. 

Of course they’re resentful or assume they can’t measure up, in light of that. How can the mere two or three years some of them have had as Bruce’s family compete with the eight Dick had and that’s even just before any of the others came along at all.

So they look at Bruce making an effort with Dick, the way he doesn’t always do with them, they see Bruce making a point to acknowledge Dick or praise him or express he’s putting his faith in him - all the things they’re all eager to hear - and the easiest and most obvious conclusion to draw when asking themselves “why is he like that with Dick, but not with me, or at least never as much”....is that its because of that essential element Dick and Bruce’s relationship has that none of the others do.....time.

The problem is, of course.....they don’t have the whole perspective, and they’re drawing conclusions without paying proper consideration to all the possible alternatives.

Because yes, Bruce and Dick’s relationship has had more time to encompass so many of the good moments and the positives between them......but the reverse is equally true. Its had that much more time to encompass the bad moments and the negatives in their relationship as well. And this is part of the narrative trap created when not focusing on or even just acknowledging the downs of Dick and Bruce’s relationship, specifically where the burden of responsibility is on Bruce.....because it sets up a quandary - “Bruce often behaves differently with Dick than he does with his other children” - but only allows certain interpretations to be read in as possible explanations for this. 

So the second you lock in the take that Bruce’s relationship with Dick has never really HAD any low moments because Dick wasn’t fired, they weren’t estranged for years (though cough cough, what’s your explanation for Bruce’s absence from major defining stories of Dick’s at the time where he really could have used some comfort or support from Bruce, like the Church of Blood or Titans Hunt BUT I DIGRESS), and NTT #55 certainly didn’t happen, then its like.....you’ve reduced the intricacies of their dynamic and past history down to only its fundamental positives, and as such are only really showcasing Bruce being more positive than not with Dick while layering in the impression that this is the way its always been.....

And not only are you giving cause to the other children looking at this dynamic and seeing only one possible explanation - whether or not its just because they’ve spent more time together, Dick is Bruce’s favorite and always will be - you’re also creating the inevitability that Dick pretty much MUST be written as equally positive towards Bruce at all times - aka appearing as the loyal footsoldier his siblings often accuse him of being, particularly when they’re having their own conflicts with Bruce and Dick is defending him - OR if you write Dick as behaving negatively towards Bruce or making complaints of his own against Bruce....who in the eyes of all the others, clearly already favors Dick more than them as is.....it makes Dick look like a spoiled, ungrateful asshole who can’t even appreciate the fact that Bruce already loves and respects him more than he does any of them, like nothing will ever be good enough for him.

Basically, as is a fairly common theme for me, lol, my point is that I think a lot of the more negative and two-dimensional portrayals of Dick in fandom come not even from writers innately or initially seeing HIM that way....but rather are just a symptom of the corners many often write themselves into simply by REFUSING to write other characters in certain negative ways....without paying consideration to the ripple effects this would have on the dynamic between both characters overall. And then more readers and fans internalize these negative and two-dimensional portrayals of Dick and add them or have them feed into their own predispositions towards any of the other characters aside from him, and it kinda creates and perpetuates this whole self-sustaining cycle, where Dick so often becomes the ‘bad guy’ in family conflicts purely because writers won’t LET anyone ELSE ever be even just more responsible for a conflict with him.

But the second you put back even just ONE of the elements often cut out from Bruce and Dick’s relationship in support of Bruce, whether its firing Dick, not trying to make amends with him the whole time Jason lived with Bruce, the scene between them after Jason’s death......

Suddenly, you’ve got another explanation for why Bruce might be making MORE of an effort with Dick at times, to show he appreciates him, loves him, is proud of him.....because Bruce fucked up, and he doesn’t know how to fix it. And this is his awkward way of trying to show and not tell, because he doesn’t think the telling is ever going to be good enough, and its not even that Dick’s too petty or spiteful to ever accept Bruce’s apology, its that because its never taken the form of an ACTUAL apology, an ACTUAL acknowledgment of wrongdoing and an attempt to make amends.....its more likely Dick not seeing it for what it is on Bruce’s part is just Dick not wanting to set himself up for more disappointment, figuring he might be reading more into it than is actually there just because he WANTS to believe its an apology of some sort, he WANTS to forgive Bruce and get back at least some of what they lost over the years.

And meanwhile, from all the other kids’ perspectives, they see Bruce clearly making SOME kind of an effort with Dick that he doesn’t always make with them, and that when he does, usually its paired with something in their mind that makes it read as “oh that’s why he’s behaving this way” rather than “oh, clearly, this is proof I am The Favored One,”...BUT having access to only parts of the picture and no clue about a lot of the rest, working off of limited evidence, there’s no real way for them TO draw the correct conclusion....that this is Bruce trying to make RIGHT something that went WRONG.....not Bruce just lavishing Dick with praise and respect and recognition any of them would kill for and he seems to get for no reason....other than the obvious one....Dick’s the first, the original, the one who has a decade headstart on all of us in Bruce’s eyes and who we thus will never be able to catch up to so why try, hey, we should totally just, stab Caesar.

[kiaracarrera]

Outer Banks Character Opinions

Because I’m still on an Outer Banks high enjoy these character opinions:

John B: Oh John B, sweet John B, lost little John B. I have serious love for him after everything he’s lost but honestly I don’t really have any particularly strong opinions on him. The trust he puts into his friends and the love he has for them is beautiful. Sometimes it seems like he prioritises Sarah over The Pouges and he can be a little selfish and reckless but with so much on the line and with him only being 16/17 it’s understandable. I really enjoyed the chemistry between John B and Kiara and it seemed like we got all this sweet build up in the first 2 episodes for it to just be tossed aside in favour of John B/Sarah which just personally wasn't my cup of tea. I really hated when John B insinuated Kiara was jealous but I loved the interaction that followed between the two. Overall John B is likeable and damn hot and I just want happiness for him. 

Kiara: An actual angel. Kiara goes against the grain and despite the fact she has all the means and resources to be a Kook she knows she’s a Pouge at heart and places her own happiness above the expectations that others place on her, basically we stan a queen who prioritises self love. Not only that but Kie has ride or die level loyalty to her friends and I mean watching her constantly looking out for John B, not letting her parents influence her opinion on the boys and comforting JJ when she discovered how bad he had it with his dad, ugh be still my beating heart. The writers really did her wrong pairing her with Pope because she clearly had way more chemistry with John B and it seems like there were for sure some unresolved feelings there that just became collateral to the other storylines which is upsetting. She also had mad chemistry with JJ and it kind of felt like we were baited with their potential ship (Kie asking if John B told JJ about the kiss, JJ always talking about how he was attracted to Kie, Kie comforting JJ at his lowest, JJ telling John B they had to choose Kie, Kie sticking up for JJ in front of everyone at the club etc) and then the writers room last minute decided to switch her pairing to Pope who she had zero chemistry with. 

JJ: Sweet baby JJ. The season started with JJ being a bit of a reckless asshole but I feel like almost anyone that watched the full show would defend this sad boy to the death by seasons end. I know I said Kiara had ride or die level loyalty to her friends but I feel like JJ matches her on the same level. His friendship with each member of The Pouges is uniquely special but the way he pushes Pope to stand up for himself whilst also protecting him when shit gets real is just next level endearing. JJ truly sees The Pouges as his family because they’re the only ones he’s ever really had, it’s sad but it’s beautiful. The scene in the hot tub where JJ finally, after carrying this emotional burden with him for who know how long, broke down probably broke me more than any other in the whole 10 episodes, the fact it was Kiara’s arms that he broke down into just made my shipper heart beat a little beat. Plus Heyward and family embracing JJ at the end of the series was so soft and sweet. I think of all the characters I’m most excited to see where JJ’s future lies next season.

Pope: I liked Pope. I know it might not seem like it with how negatively I’ve talked about the Kei/Pope ship but I do like him. Pope is arguably, at least for me, one of the most relatable characters. His struggles with trying to balance having fun with his friends and be there for them whilst also protecting his future and not letting his dad down is maybe the most realistic aspect of this show. Pope’s brotherly bond with JJ is hands down the best friendship on the show. It would be remiss of me not to talk about Pope and Kei and it ultimately comes down to this, this relationship was sloppily put together with a combination of approximately 3 longing looks and a few hints of jealously and I know teenagers are emotional and unpredictable but how Pope can confess his ‘love’ for Kei after yelling at her one episode prior is just insane to me.  Like I mentioned in my other post, the casting for this show was superb and Pope is no exception, I have to believe there was no chemistry test between these two though because they had little chemistry and made no sense, a simple case of bad story telling.  

Sarah: From the moment we saw Sarah chasing off birds to protect mice I knew I was going to grow to love her. Sarah is complicated and endearing, her need to push people away is close to home and I really enjoyed seeing her relationship with Kiara develop back into somewhat of a friendship. Sarah and Kei running around the Crane house was my fave. Again I don’t really know if I like Sarah/John B, they just seemed to rushed to me and I really really didn’t enjoy the whole “I’d rather die than be without you” thing, considering these characters are meant to be 16/17 that really irritated me. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on that but yeah not my fave. I also don’t know how much I love Sarah being part of The Core 4 Pouge crew but I’m interested to see how that develops if we get another season.

[bloodraven55]

“But Bumbleby was rushed/forced to pander to the gays—”

There are a number of glaring flaws in this argument, most of all the fact that no straight relationship is ever called “forced” or “pandering” even if people don’t like it, let alone “rushed” when it’s only on the verge of officially happening seven seasons into the show, but I want to break down all of the many levels on which it’s wrong in order to hopefully kill it once and for all.

“It came out of nowhere—”

Jaune was crushing on Weiss the second he saw her, Sun was crushing on Blake the moment he saw her, Pyrrha developed feelings for Jaune in just one Volume and showed some interest from the moment she saw him, and Blake goes from being consistently annoyed at Sun throughout Volumes 1 and 2 to suddenly having a crush on him in Volume 3.

If Bumbleby supposedly “came out of nowhere,” then so did W/hite Knight, A/rkos, and B/lacksun. But no one ever has an issue with the speed at which those characters started having romantic interest in each other. And I’m not even saying they should—they’re all very valid ships and whether they came out of nowhere or not isn’t the point of this—but there’s a clear double standard applied to same sex ships as opposed to heterosexual ships here and it invalidates this point right out of the gate.

“It was rushed—”

Blake and Yang are only just now close to becoming an official couple after more than six whole Volumes of knowing each other. There is no possible universe where this would qualify as “rushed.” Again, W/hite Knight and B/lacksun albeit both one-sided at least to begin with both became obvious things within literal episodes of the characters meeting, and Jaune and Pyrrha were showing blatant romantic interest in each other by Volume 2 before kissing in Volume 3.

In the last case you can argue that it went at a faster pace because Pyrrha was going to die, but that doesn't change the fact that no one complained that it went too quickly—or about the other two ships I mentioned which were both initially based solely on one (1) instance of a guy showing interest in a girl—and yet people say it’s too soon for Blake and Yang to get together when they’ve had over twice as long for their relationship to develop.

“The shippers forced it into the show—”

I don’t think I even need to add any more here when the words of CRWBY speak for themselves.

“Toxic shippers think everything is gay—”

I mean, I’m gay and I only truly ship a handful of the possible same sex pairings in the show—certainly far from the majority of them—and I also ship a number of straight ships, but go off I guess.

I already made a post on this here, but it’s insanely dismissive and ridiculous for heterosexual people i.e. the ones who usually use this “argument” to assume that they know better than actual LGBT+ people what is or isn’t good LGBT+ representation, and for them to assume that just because they missed build up that it therefore isn’t there.

I can’t take someone seriously when they go into a discussion determined to believe that they’re already right and don’t listen to a word you say to prove otherwise, especially when they’re debating on a topic which doesn’t directly affect them and which they don’t have the same level of firsthand knowledge of.

“The wasps only care about Blake and Yang getting in each other’s pants—”

Actually, it’s the people who are most aggressively against Blake and Yang being a couple that tend to reduce their relationship to being entirely about sex even though they haven’t had a single remotely sexual interaction in the show, but if this were true then surely Bumbleby shippers would be very unhappy with the show because Blake and Yang have still not “got in each other’s pants,” or “swapped clit juice” as I once saw someone tastefully describe it?

But that isn’t right. Because in general us Bee shippers are currently exceedingly happy with everything that’s happening in the show to do with Blake and Yang’s relationship. So how can that be if all we care about is whether they fuck or not?

The answer is of course that we don’t only care about whether they fuck or not—in fact most of us couldn’t care less whether it’s ever so much as hinted that they have sex, both because the show almost certainly won’t ever go there and because that isn’t our priority—we’re just enjoying watching them fall in love.

Honestly this argument is one of the most lazy because one look at RWBY will tell you that none of the romances are at all sexual thus far so any shippers who truly only care about that aspect wouldn’t stick around very long when they’ll just end up disappointed. And of course the way that these people inherently view same sex relationships as sexual is homophobic and disgusting too.

“CRWBY rushed it to give the rabid shippers what they want—”

Like the last two points, this is a “criticism” that I’ve only ever seen levelled at same sex ships and never straight ships, so it’s yet another example of double standards and hypocrisy, but that’s only the start of what’s wrong with it.

The most galling thing about this is that these people insist that all LGBT+ people because as I’ve already mentioned that is always the group which statements like this are aimed at just want to see two characters of the same gender make out as soon as possible, which is simply not true.

No one would ever claim that straight people just want to see a man and a woman get it on as soon as possible and dismiss the worth of a straight relationship because of it. So it’s ridiculous to try and force that logic onto shippers of same sex ships, who are primarily LGBT+ people themselves.

If anything, we care even more about the quality of our ships—how healthy they are, whether they’re well built up or not, etc.—because we hardly have any to begin with in comparison. If one straight ship is rushed or poorly written, then there are plenty of well-handled ones to choose from instead, but the same isn’t the case for same sex ships.

We want to be represented well, which means that we want healthy relationships with plenty of development where the characters actually have chemistry and complement each other. We might still support rushed or badly-written same sex ships sometimes because it’s still representation which we are overall sorely lacking, but we don’t want them.

“But they ship baited with Blake and Sun—”

First off, straight ships can’t be baited the same way that same sex ships can. It’s simply not a comparable situation. But of course B/lacksun shippers are entitled to feel disappointed that their ship didn’t become canon. That’s utterly valid and understandable. However, that doesn’t mean that the writers or the show in any way misled viewers regarding what was happening.

“But Sun winked at Blake—”

And Yang also winked at Blake in Volume 2 while asking her to the dance, just like Sun winked at Blake in Volume 1 and then asked Blake to the dance. And Blake turned Sun down when he asked initially, specifically told him that they were only “technically” going together when she ran into him outside, and told him definitively that she had chosen to give her first dance to Yang.

“But Blake blushed at Sun—”

And now she’s also blushed at Yang, in a far more intimate scene at that. Next point.

“But Sun met Blake’s parents—”

And? Simply meeting someone’s parents doesn’t on any level automatically imply romance. Ghira didn’t even like Sun, and while a lot of people like to claim that Kali “ships it” which would be extremely flimsy evidence to base the canonicity of a ship on anyway, she’s someone who would do the same with anyone Blake brought home so it means nothing. If Blake had actually chosen to take Sun home with her herself then this would be a valid point, but she didn’t, so it has no weight whatsoever overall.

“But Blake kissed Sun on the cheek—”

And I kiss my mother on the cheek the exact same way every time I say goodbye to her. If you think that type of kiss on the cheek has to be romantic then quite frankly I’m not sure what world you’re living in. If the camera had been close up, if there had been any shots at all of their reactions, any blushing or lingering looks, a more private setting— literally anything to give it some actual weight and make it feel significant, then this might mean something, but it’s framed as a totally platonic goodbye with zero romantic coding.

And that’s without even mentioning the fact that right after that moment Sun flat out states that his time with Blake was “never about [romance],” which sort of kills the idea that anything about that scene was supposed to be taken as romantic. There was no reason to include that line except to make it clear to the audience that Sun and Blake parted ways as friends who now have no intention of ever becoming anything more.

Seriously, if they wanted us to think that there was still something there, then Blake would have been shown to be thinking about or missing Sun even one since they separated, but he hasn’t been brought up for even a second. If they wanted to set up a continuation of anything romantic for them when the group reach Vacuo, say, then they would have started doing it by now.

Plus the reverse argument that Blake and Sun have never hugged or held hands—both of which Blake and Yang have done multiple times—works just as well, perhaps even better since handholding is a well-established romantic cue in the show already thanks to A/rkos, R/enora, and O/zma and Salem.

“But why was Sun even there in Volumes 4 and 5 then—”

Because Blake needed a friend who she could exposition to about her thought processes and personal problems so that the audience could understand what she was going through, and she wasn’t as likely to open up to her parents about that stuff right away when she was convinced they’d hate her for leaving.

Sun was there to support Blake as she developed and to tell her that running away hurt the very people she was trying to protect. That was his narrative role in that arc. There was nothing to indicate that a romance was being built in those more than twenty episodes they spent together and if it was going to happen that would have been the time to do it.

On the other hand Blake and Yang’s shared arc together is built on the fact that Blake’s romantic ex, who Blake had already directly contrasted with Yang and whose Semblance was already a foil to Yang’s, maimed Yang specifically because Blake loves her. The basis of that arc has romantic weight, which is what makes the difference here. Though the scene at the end of Volume 3 where Adam takes Yang’s arm isn’t romantic in and of itself, I should clarify, it just has romantic significance in that it makes it clear that Blake and Yang’s feelings go beyond mere friendship.

In short, the summary of this whole section pretty much boils down to: two characters spending time together doesn't inherently equal romantic development, and it isn’t in any way “baiting” if those two characters don’t then get together.

The characters’ feelings follow a fairly logical progression over the course of the show, with Blake showing interest in both Sun and Yang in V1-V3, then ceasing to show interest in Sun after that as their relationship becomes totally platonic by Volume 5/the beginning of Volume 6 at the very latest, while the events of the Fall of Beacon only solidified how strong her feelings for Yang were and once she reunites with Yang their relationship begins to head towards romance.

It’s a pretty realistic depiction of how human feelings work, and a far less messy situation than in a lot of other shows where there isn’t the same massive level of hatred and vitriol towards the “victorious” pairing, because this was never even really presented as a love triangle or rivalry.

To conclude, I just want to list some of the contradictions that I’ve seen within the arguments made against Bumbleby, because I think it’s very telling that the people who are against it can’t even settle on one coherent narrative on why it’s bad.

“Bumbleby has no development, but also the show focusses too much on Bumbleby.”

“Monty wouldn’t have wanted Bumbleby—it goes against his vision—even though I didn’t know him and have no idea what his vision actually was, and he explicitly stated that he wanted LGBT+ characters in the show who might already be in the main cast and that he wanted Blake and Yang to have a shared arc together, as well as being responsible for the set up of that arc with Blake and Yang being introduced as Beauty and the Beast while Adam canonically represents Gaston.”

“The Bumbleby shippers have so much influence that they forced the writers to make the ship canon, but they’re also just a vocal minority who don’t matter.”

“Blake and Yang hardly interact—they’re barely even friends—but they also interact too much and it’s making Bumbleby take over the show.”

“Arryn is a victim of the toxic wasps who harrassed her and sent her death threats for saying that the song Bmblb doesn't automatically make the ship canon, which there is zero evidence of,  but Arryn is also an unprofessional cunt for expressing her support of Bumbleby.”

“None of Blake and Yang’s scenes together are romantic so Bumbleby is forced, but even when they have undeniably romantic interactions I’ll ignore them or deny that they mean anything so I can still pretend it has no build up.”

“Bumbleby is bad because Team RWBY are a sisterhood, but all of the other straight relationships within teams—even those who’ve flat out called each other ”family”—are fine, and I’ll just pretend that there aren’t other definitions of the word sisterhood which have nothing to do with actual sisters and are the ones that actually apply in this case.”

“Blake and Yang’s relationship could be seen as romantic or platonic, but I personally think they’re just friends so Bumbleby is bad and came out of nowhere.”

I’ve seen all of these countless times with my own two eyes and it’s absolutely hilarious to be honest. Anyway that’s it. I have yet to see a single logical argument as to why Bumbleby is bad that isn’t made in bad faith, fallacious, or just doesn’t hold up when you actually look at the show. It’s about to be canon, and at this point to be honest anyone who doesn't like that can simply accept it or go and watch something else that will pander to their specific tastes instead.

[fibonaccimegumi]

i dont really have anyone to tell this revelation i made about myself to but i need to ground it in words and. hey, guess who used to keep a diary of bullshit on her tumblr anyway? so im just gonna ramble to myself here and then throw it to the ether

i havent thought on who i used to be in a long time, until today i was chatting with a friend and a factoid i learned as a wee bab came up. and then i was sitting there thinking about who i was and which house i was in when i learned that fact, watching animal planet in my parents’s room. and i felt that who i was then and who i am now were completely different people. you could cut out the me from ages 0-10 and toss em aside and it wouldnt affect the me of today at all.

i told my friend this train of thought and she made a passing comment of like “no, im pretty sure you wouldnt be who you are today without who you used to be!” and theoretically of course that’d be true, even if point A and point B felt as different as different could be.

but then im thinking on it in the shower, of course, and about some things some friends have done to me recently and how they correlate to other things people did to me over all the years of my life. what happened to me last year that one of my dearest friends did to me left me feeling multiple things, including but not limited to taken for granted, unvalued, wretched, hated, worthless and also left with the assumption that id forgive them for anything unconditionally; which frankly is not and should not be true. said friend and i both tiptoed lines really close to the brink of snapping at each other and cutting the other off, and i could see that happening, and despite circumstances i didnt really want to lose them. so i rolled over and accepted responsibility for the entire situation, even though i had zero control over anything. it was horrible, really, and i thought i was done ruminating on it, but things relevant to it have been cropping up lately, and i watch my soul hitch in my throat and hide, even after reconciliation with said friend. so there’s definitely stuff i still need... to give and or receive attention for? i dont know.

but what’s relevant is that i didnt have any fucking friends as a kid. whatsoever. i dont know why, because i knew people, and i interacted with people, but i never got along with anyone enough to truly be connected to them. i think most people were... scared of me? because i can still think of a handful of people still in my life that dont really understand me and i catch avoiding me at social events. there were some people i could think of as ‘friends’, but it was always onesided in some form, toxic, and never lasted longer than a year, so it never really had time to be a friendship. the first friend i made that was truly a friend and didnt drop out of my life after a year i met when i was just shy of 18. thats nearly 18 years of practical social solitude. but something else to note is that this first friend has a habit of being distant and disconnected, so sometimes its really hard to tell what they think of the friendship and if it means anything; and after the tension of last year, it became even harder to tell.

what happened was, in short, them choosing someone they’d just met and said they didn’t even care about over me, who’d known them for years, at a time where i was already feeling dejected about other events leaving me feeling that nobody wanted me at all, ever, and i was counting on this friends friendship to help me walk out of that. and after that? it sure didnt work. and i know its not their responsibility to validate my existence, but it’s left a hole in my heart bigger than anything ever has. if i had any other experience with my life beforehand, maybe i wouldnt be so affected, but the person i trusted the most betrayed me and it still stings.

they’ve been working to make up for it and i appreciate that so much, so we’re on good terms again, but hoo... there’s still work to do, im finding.

it wasn’t just the friend that i felt took me for granted at the time though, it was the whole group of people that was involved at the time. and they all still hang out, even though i dipped last year to avoid. well. my heart being chewed up and spat on the floor. i peeked in for the first time again earlier this year, and the person my friend had chosen over me of all people was the first to say anything along the lines of “hey, its been different without you, and we preferred when you were here.” like. id been waiting to hear anything along those lines for the entire duration of my time with them, particularly from my friend, but then the one person who was essentially the horcrux of my destruction came along and said that?? fuck if i know what to feel. im still processing that one, there.

im not sure whats gonna happen or where ill go but its all pretty scary tbh, and the bonds that i have with others still feels fragile at best.

wish me luck or something. im exhausted and just want a safe space.

[kainosite]

Les Misérables 2018, Episode 3

Les Mis fandom: Andrew Davies is a scoundrel.  What is he?

Me: ... Scoundwel.

The Good:

• I can’t believe the BBC actually filmed the “Now the people of this town can see you for what you really are” scene of a thousand Valvert fanfics.  They know what the people want.

• The Thénardiers are still fantastic.  Somehow the BBC has achieved the impossible feat of portraying them as loathsome abusers whom you hate with every fiber of your being, while simultaneously making them the fun comic relief you’re sort of rooting for in their capacity as the wacky crime duo.  On Christmas Eve I wanted the Seargeant of Waterloo to burn to the ground with everyone inside it, except for Cosette who was out getting water, Éponine and Azelma who were playing on the swings and Gavroche who was out back playing with Chou Chou or something.  I still grinned when Madame Thénardier cheerily reminded her husband to bring the pistol the next morning.  Striking this balance is a truly impressive achievement that I’ve only seen equalled by the Dallas production of the musical.

Their family dynamics are also coming across very well, sometimes through very subtle touches.  The differential treatment of Éponine and Azelma vs. Cosette and the way the Thénardier girls have been trained by all the adults around them to see Cosette’s abuse as a hilarious game, Gavroche being conscripted to fill Cosette’s role as household drudge once Valjean takes her, Mme. T slipping a bill out of Thénardier’s stash once he goes after Valjean – it’s all really good.

Their reactions to Valjean were good too.  Mme. Thénardier was thoroughly unimpressed with this roughly dressed man she’d decided was a hobo and only reacted with hostility when he was kind to her little whipping girl, but Thénardier as the criminal mastermind of the outfit decided the moment he noticed Valjean paying inordinate attention to Cosette that he must be a pedophile and they’d stumbled upon a lucrative financial opportunity.  I know some people don’t like this change, but honestly it makes a ton of sense.  Valjean’s interest in Cosette is strange, and considering the usual clientele of the inn cheer whenever Mme. T hits the kid with the strap, the Thénardiers aren’t used to seeing other people regard her plight with compassion.  Unlike in the Brick, this Cosette is a very pretty child, something discernible even beneath the dirt.  And it’s Thénardier, so of course he thinks the worst.  Valjean doesn’t volunteer that he’s representing Fantine (perhaps in this universe where he knows Javert is so fixated on him, he’s worried that would make him too easy to trace?), so really, what else is Thénardier meant to think?

• There are some priceless interactions between the protagonists and Thénardier: when he’s trying to haggle and Valjean keeps ignoring him and just repeating “How much?”; Javert’s baffled “Nothing!” when he asks Javert what Javert is planning to do for him.

• Javert and Gavroche’s preliminary encounter over the coffee cup was a nice, subtle touch.

• A+ hair analogy between Fantine last week and Valjean this week.  A+ removal of the godawful ponytail.  That prison barber in Toulon deserves the Légion d'Honneur.

• I’m enjoying Javert’s meteoric rise at the Prefecture and I love Rivette.  “But Kainosite, you love every long-suffering lieutenant.”  Yes, what’s your point?  Javert deserves a long-suffering lieutenant and so do I.  Although it’s hilarious how much Oyelowovert is Fanfic Javert, in his relationship with his subordinates as much as in everything else.

I also enjoyed Javert’s phrenology skull, which I hope he sometimes monologues at Hamlet-style.  A black Javert might hesitate a little before going all-in on phrenology, but I do appreciate his commitment to cutting-edge criminology research.

• LMAO at Javert’s fanart commission.

• Valjean and little Cosette are adorable together, and I really appreciate how much time Davies devoted to just depicting them interacting and letting the relationship breathe.  The strength of their bond is going to be very important later on, especially to Valjean, so it’s worthwhile to establish it now.  And they were suuuuper cute.  This adaptation tends to cut out Hugo’s humor sections, so it was nice to get a bit of relief from the grimness with endearing family time.

• I rather like Cosette calling people “nosy bitches”.  I mean, who socialized this kid?  The Thénardiers, that’s who.  It makes her seem more like a real child and less like a perfect little doll designed to reward first Valjean and then Marius for fulfilling their roles as protagonists.

It’s also an early hint at Valjean and Cosette’s unhealthy isolation and codependency.  The principal tenant is actually fulfilling her duty of care here in a society without any proper system for child safeguarding.  Cosette never seems to leave the apartment, certainly not to attend school or to learn a trade.  There’s no family resemblance between herself and her guardian.  (Incidentally, I’m impressed by how much Mailow Defoy really does look like the child of Lily Collins and Johnny Flynn.  All the matching between the kids and their “parents” has been superb.)  They give inconsistent stories about their relationship.  And Cosette is, as previously mentioned, an exceptionally pretty child.  The principal tenant should be worried - she doesn’t want Hector Hulot taking up residence in her building, and this pair are deeply suspicious.  But they can’t perceive her attention as legitimate concern, just as an unwarranted and unwanted intrusion into their little idyl.

• Similarly, Valjean’s early worries that he’s isolating Cosette too much by denying her all contact with the outside world or other children her own age are a nice piece of foreshadowing, as is her blithe answer that the only friends she needs are Valjean and Catherine.  Of course she’s content: she has food and warmth and security and the undivided attention of a loving adult.  To a child whose previous experience of the world has been so traumatic, their isolation must seem like paradise.  But this isn’t healthy and it isn’t sustainable, and the show is flagging that up early.  In many adaptations Valjean’s Cosette Issues seem to come out of nowhere, so it’s great that they’re laying the groundwork here.

• The whole “For a dark hunt, a silent pack” sequence is very well done.  There’s a nice piece of foreshadowing with the lamplighter hoisting up a candle as Valjean and Cosette are coming into Paris.  (Most of the Parisian lamps are nice flickery ones, although you do occasionally see those peculiar white ones we saw in Montreuil.)

I also appreciate Davies cutting Valjean’s canonical “Be quiet or Mme. Thénardier will catch you and take you back” line to Cosette from the Brick, which was an awful thing to say to a traumatized child.

• Things continue to look right.  The courtroom setup was really quite good.

The Meh:

• After watching the episode twice I think I finally understand what was going on with Javert at the trial.

His plan to entrap Valjean is no less incredibly stupid and risky than it was last week, but at least Javert has finally realized this.  He looks increasingly worried as each convict gives his testimony and identifies Champmathieu because they’re getting closer and closer to the end of the trial and Valjean still hasn’t acted.  Unlike Étienne in the 1952 movie, Oyelowovert has already testified and perjured himself, so he has no failsafe – if Valjean refuses to take the bait then Champmathieu is condemned in his place, the real Valjean is protected from legal pursuit forever, Javert’s perjury has real, long-term, perverse consequences, and Javert needs to find a new career.  The shock we see on his face when Valjean finally confesses is relief and the shock of seeing a scenario he must have played out a hundred times in his dreams becoming a reality before his eyes, or possibly a consequence of him coming in his pants, not shock at the revelation that Madeleine is Valjean.

But there are few members of the audience who are keener observers of Javert’s face than I am.  Most of those people are probably in the Valvert Discord chat, and none of them could figure out this scene on their first viewing either.  We should not have to analyze Javert’s microexpressions to determine the answer to a question as fundamental as “Did Javert sincerely believe Champmathieu was Valjean?”

• On the whole the trial was bad but I did appreciate Brevet just yanking out his suspender to show the court.  Although @prudencepaccard​ is gonna be mad it wasn’t checkered.

• The amount of time it takes Valjean to escape from Toulon is really of no great importance to anything.  Maybe this Javert gave them specific instructions to search him with care so his files kept getting confiscated and it took him longer to file through his chains.  We know the Orion incident never happened in this universe, so maybe it took two years for Valjean to spot a good escape opportunity.  Who knows?  Who cares?  It has zero impact on the plot.

People concerned about the extra time Cosette was left languishing with the Thénardiers should direct their complaints to Brick Valjean, who faffed around in Montreuil for a month while her mother lay on her deathbed constantly asking for her, and only decided to go pick her up once he was under arrest and it would obviously be impossible.  Davies’ sins pale in comparison to Hugo’s in this regard.  At least Westjean tried to send someone to retrieve her.

• ‘Rosalie’?  Okay, fine, but I’m not sure why this adaptation feels compelled to give everyone first and last names.  Thénardier could just call her ‘Darling’.

• I know they also abandon Catherine in the Brick, but in the Brick Valjean doesn’t pause in their flight to pack the candlesticks, the objects that are precious to him, and Cosette doesn’t specifically ask about bringing her.  Put the pillow under the blankets to fake out Javert like a normal person and let your child keep the one toy she’s ever had, what the fuck is wrong with you, Valjean?

On the other hand, the doll is made of dead people and it may be possessed, so perhaps this was just responsible parenting.  I’m calling it a draw.

• It’s not that I have any great objections to giving Simplice more screen time or letting the Mother Superior of the Petit-Picpus convent decide to shelter a convict, but there was no particular reason not to use Fauchelevent for the Fauchelevent plotline.  It’s a small instance of a good deed being paid forward that underlines the main theme of the book, as does Simplice’s act of self-sacrifice in lying to Javert to protect Valjean.  All of that has been lost and nothing has been gained in its place.  (Also is Cosette just... “Cosette Valjean” in this adaptation?  “Cosette Thibault”?)

The Bad:

• If Javert perjures himself to trap Valjean that is an incredibly big deal and we should see it.  I accept that this Javert might do it: Oyelowovert cares about his career and about ruining the lives of criminals, not about the rules.  If he can trap Valjean, superb.  If Champmathieu ends up in the galleys because of it, well, he’s a filthy apple thief and he deserves it.  Javert is subverting the course of justice in the service of a greater social justice.  But this monumental deviation from his Brick characterization, this enormously consequential lie, should not occur off-camera, for fuck’s sake!

Also it’s not clear what reason a Javert who is happy to lie under oath would ever have to throw himself into the Seine.

• Why the hell was Valjean so hostile to the other convicts?  He assumes they’ve been paid off, but... by whom, and to what purpose?  By Javert, to entrap him?  We the viewers at least know that can’t be true – Javert only found out about Champmathieu from the Prefecture, after Champmathieu had already been identified as Valjean.  By the public prosecutor at Arras, who is desperate to close the case of a minor highway robbery that happened almost a decade ago on the other side of the country completely outside his jurisdiction?  By the many enemies of Champmathieu the random hobo, who really want to see him go down for a felony?  It makes absolutely no sense.

Possibilities that make more sense: a) the convicts are sincerely mistaken about the appearance of a guy they’ve not seen in eight years, b) they just wanted to get out of Toulon for a month and they’re willing to say anything to do it because Toulon is a hellhole, as the first episode made exceedingly clear, c) they know perfectly well Champmathieu is not Valjean and they’re lying to protect the liberty of their old comrade by condemning a stranger in his place.  The whole dynamic of this scene – Madeleine, the respected mayor and factory owner, who’s been clean and well-fed and safe for years, yelling at these filthy men in their convict uniforms, Chenildieu with some kind of open wound across his forehead, quite possibly a lash mark – is deeply unpleasant.  It makes Valjean look like a complete asshole and sets a sour tone for the whole episode.

• The entire trial is just off.  Valjean’s off-putting and inexplicable hostility to his fellow convicts, Javert’s mystifying facial expressions, the audience who keep laughing at unfunny lines – the scene just doesn’t work, it doesn’t come together.  It was at something of a disadvantage because I came into it having just watched the 1952 trial scene for the previous episode’s review post, which is the best ever adaptation of the Champmathieu trial, and any other version was likely to pale by comparison.  But this one was particularly poor.

• I said last week we’d have to see what the series made of Valjean’s externalization of his emotions.  Well, what it has made is an awful lot of shouting at everyone, starting with the poor convicts and continuing from there, and also an excess of violence.  Valjean charges into the soldiers in Montreuil-sur-Mer and bowls them over, he threatens to knock Thénardier down and then to blow his head off, he gets Thénardier into a headlock and grapples with him.  Even when Westjean is coming into the convent he has to practically break down the doors.  Everything is violent action with him.  It’s OOC to the point where it’s becoming a problem rather than merely a different interpretation of the character.

All this aggression isn’t even effective at making him seem dangerous!  The thing he does in 1978 where he gently removes Javert’s hand from his collar is vastly more intimidating because it showcases his superhuman strength.  He should have just plucked the gun out of Thénardier’s hand like he was taking it away from a child instead of all this undignified scuffling.

• Tumblr, a humble reviewer has failed in accuracy, and I have come to bring this matter to your attention, as is my duty.

I argued last week that Westjean is not a misogynist: he yells at everyone in his vicinity regardless of gender.  Well, you were right and I was wrong.  That menacing lunge he takes towards Victurnien while screaming at her, calling Mme. Thénardier “woman” and shouting at her to bring his supper, the way he bursts in on the nuns at the end – it all adds up to something pretty unpleasant.

• I have never in my life seen an adaptation that makes Fantine’s death so much about Jean Valjean’s manpain.

If you look a 1978, an adaptation that gives if possible negative fucks about Fantine, it still manages to make the confrontation over her deathbed a conversation between three people, in which she has agency and reacts to what people are saying and is present in some capacity other than that of an object to make Valjean sad.  Someone compared Collinstine to a substitute Coin of Shame, and I think that’s really apt: Valjean is distressed and guilty because he’s failed to rescue Cosette, so he goes to Fantine’s bedside to sear the image of her despairing face onto his retinas in the same way he seared the imprint of Petit Gervais’s forty sous onto his palm.  He’s punishing himself by deliberately upsetting her.  For both Valjean and the camera, this scene is all about Valjean’s feelings and not about Fantine’s.

The person in this room with the biggest problems is not Jean Valjean, for pity’s sake.  I like to see the man cry as much as the next fangirl, but this was vile.

• Valjean’s visit to Fantine on her deathbed is a stupid, irresponsible thing to do and a direct cause of her unhappy death in the Brick and in every adaptation where she survives long enough for Javert to turn up. Valjean knows he has no good news to give her, he knows that the criminal justice system will be after him sooner or later, he knows that having Fantine and Javert together in the same room is a phenomenally bad idea, and he has urgent business in Montfermeil, or if he’s resolved to stay in Montreuil-sur-Mer to await arrest then he urgently needs to designate some representative to go and pick up Cosette in his place.  Instead he loiters by a sick woman’s bedside until Javert shows up and predictably traumatizes her to death.  As a result, Fantine dies in misery and Cosette suffers under the Thénardiers for another year.

But in the Brick it was at least not an insane thing to do.  When he left Arras he was not being pursued, and he reached Montreuil well ahead of the news about the trial.  The magistrates in Arras were in two minds about how to handle the situation.  Given Madeleine’s status, the widespread affection and admiration for him in the region, and the fact that he turned himself in, it’s not inconceivable that had it not been for his little Bonapartist slip in the courtroom, they wouldn’t have issued a warrant for his arrest at all and would simply have sent him a summons to appear at the Var Assizes to stand trial, or directed him to surrender himself at the prison in Montreuil rather than sending Javert after him.  I’m not sure it’s likely, given that he’s a known flight risk and parole violator illegally occupying a public office and they seem keen to get their hands on his fortune, but it’s not inconceivable.

In this adaptation Valjean breaks away from the police in the street and leads them straight to Fantine’s deathbed.  There is no fucking excuse for this.  NONE.  Brick Valjean was a fool to come at all and a bigger fool to stage a massive confrontation with Javert while he was still in the infirmary, but his mistakes were those of a man under immense stress who never bothered to think about Javert long enough to construct a working psychological profile of him.  Westjean’s mistakes were the mistakes of a selfish asshole too caught up in his own feelings of guilt and shame to have any regard for the people he allegedly cares about and wants to help.  Valjean is an extreme deontologist and his actions are always self-absorbed to a certain degree, because they’re fundamentally more about whether he can feel he’s done the right thing than about the actual effects of his actions on other people.  (He and Brickvert have that in common.)  But it should never get to the point where he’s actively harming people to this extent.

• Brickvert doesn’t seem to care for firearms much, and Oyelowovert looks like a jackass waving his two giant pistols around, but he’s a different character and if he’s decided they make him look cool then fine, I guess.  But in that case he should not be intimidated by Valjean’s strength in the infirmary.  You have guns, idiot!  If he threatens you just shoot him in the leg!

Guns completely change the dynamics of this scene, as the Dallas staging of the musical conveys very well.  The BBC handed Javert some pistols and then forgot he had them.

• In 1862 people would probably have found the implication that Catherine has Fantine’s hair to be sweet and charming, because the Victorians loved toting bits of their dead relatives around and hair mementos were so common that no one would have considered it weird.  In 2019 it is CREEPY AND GROSS.  I know there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism but we did not need to know that Cosette’s doll was made from the body parts of desperately impoverished and now dead women, really.

• Oh, so we’re flipping over beds when we fail to catch our favorite fugitive convict now, are we?  Great, now everyone is yelling.  FFS, Javert, I thought you were supposed to be the emotionally continent one.

• Where was Marius this week???  If Davies was happy to cut that leg of the stool out of whole episodes then why the fuck not just let Georges die when he’s supposed to and let Marius have a coherent character arc?  It makes no sense whatsoever.

I’ve got to be honest, I was not a fan of this episode.  But it did get Valjean and Cosette’s relationship right, and that is the most important relationship in the story.

[pacificwanderer]

I wonder if the Force connections were still going on between TLJ and Episode IX because a year without the force connection and not seeing together is such a long time tho. But then I would want to see the drama between them once they finally see each other after not seeing the other for a year.

Hey Nonnie!

Yeah, I mean the drama would be great haha and I understand how it could be a compelling thing to witness for the audience, so I get the argument. I have a lot of feelings about Reylo, so I really am of two minds insofar as seeing them be angsty and in pain in canon is concerned LOL (as in, I don’t mind it in fanfic, but canon? MY POOR KIDS NEED HUGS NOT MORE TEARS), but don’t worry, I have zero impact on the outcome of the story, so my fluffy headcanons ruin nothing haha.

I’m going to try to get to a few anons that are similar in theme sooo, more under the cut:

There better be more Reylo scenes in IX. JJ needs to go all out when it comes to reylo scenes. I want them to touch each other more you know. Let Rey touch his hair and face. Let Ben touch her scar and untangle her hair. They also need to look at each other with knowing looks to signify that they are truly connected, they don’t need words to know what the other is thinking.

At the end of the day, it’s SW, not Star Romance (AS MUCH AS I WISH IT WERE OTHERWISE haha), but I’m sure we’ll get some good scenes to chew on. As far as I know, JJ enjoys romance and he’s pretty much the father of Reylo at this point, so I don’t imagine he’d go from what we got in TFA (where basically the plot was structured around these two characters having to meet), to like nothing in EPIX, esp given how popular their scenes were in TLJ (and TFA, tbqh). I am also majorly down for scar touching/reveals, SO DOWN.

I wonder if the teaser trailer that they will show in SWC would contain any hint of drama between Rey and Ben or just exchanges of dialogues but we don’t see them actually talking to each other because from what I observed from reddit and comments here and there, people are most excited of Rey and Ben interacting in IX.

We might get more than we expect! I imagine much of the plot (aside from the general, bad guys vs good guys fight!!!) will be kind of hidden. They do a great job with the trailers for SW and, instead of revealing the entire story, they just give us something to chew on for months (obsess over), and I prefer that. I hate watching trailers that literally give the entire movie away. Just makes me wonder why I should bother watching the movie at all! Whether people want romance between them, or just drama, I think both parties are going to be relatively happy when EPIX is all said and done.

I also fucking ready for the drama between Rey and Ben. I am pretty sure there will be screaming and crying and then when they finally calm down, they’ll talk civilly and voice out their feelings.

Haha! So many of you are super into the drama, and that’s awesome. I don’t know how much screaming there will be (considering Ben, all things considered, is actually really calm around Rey, which is pretty noteworthy, given how he is around literally everyone else), but she might be kind of pissed, given that she’s a little more angry than people seem to give her credit for (and that’s not a criticism on my part, I love this about her character). At any rate, I hope there’s lots of feelings in this movie. I’m such a sucker for feelings!

I hope we get to see more of Ben’s perspective in IX or he and Rey have the most screen time alone or together (is that selfish of me?). I recently just watched TFA and TLJ and we really don’t see much of him in either films despite being a co-protagonist.

I just checked the screen times for TFA and TLJ, and Adam has about 15 minutes in TFA and 23 in TLJ (Daisy has the most in both, 45 minutes in TFA and 33 in TLJ, respectively). I honestly hope that the plot is a little more focused and that the screen times are more balanced for the main characters (Fi//nn took a major cut in TLJ and I wish that wasn’t the case). I really do hope they focus primarily on the new characters, which seems to be a rather controversial opinion (and it’s my own and, as I have no impact on the outcome of the plot, lol who cares?). I have the OT for the original characters and the PT for their specific set of characters. I want to see more of the ST characters, but I’ve always been fine with story lines in SW that don’t center around the OT characters. We’ll see how it all goes!

Do you think if there is going to be a documentary, will they show the chemistry test between Adam and Daisy? I really want to see it. They have so much chemistry that it’s hard for me to imagine that they just winged it. I also imagined that they talk about how they were going to play each other off before filming TFA. Also do you think that both of them were already aware that their characters are going to be romantically involved before filming TFA?

I honestly don’t know that there was a chemistry test between Daisy and Adam. Adam was basically courted for the position, while Rey’s character was chosen after months of interviews and I think, given the timeline, they hired who they thought would work for the part. I think that John and Daisy had chemistry readings (they did, I was right) and, given that they had so much screen time together in TFA, that makes perfect sense (this interview also seems to imply that Daisy and Harrison had readings together too???). They’re great together. I think the hiring process for John was even longer. So, I think they wanted Adam regardless. We’ll have to see though. I’m sure they did readings together at some point (actually, I know they did because there’s video of them reading the script at the first table read).

As far as documentaries go, I HOPE SO because I love that shit. I know Ram and Rian have like 1800 hours of footage filmed from the production of TLJ, so I’d expect to see something like that pop up as a part of Disney’s new streaming service, Disney+ in the future. 

As far as romance, apparently Adam has been working with one specific piece of information as to where it was all going, so I’m sure he has an idea of what the character is supposed to accomplish and why. As for Daisy, she was always really sweet and seemed to enjoy tf out of the Reylo fandom back when she was on instagram, so I don’t think the concept is foreign to her. And, given her response as to whether Kylo is redeemable or not leans pretty hard into the “he’s redeemable” camp, it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume she knows what’s coming too. JJ apparently also told her during TFA who her parents were, so this conspiracy theory bullshit about Rian retconing it is ridiculous. So yeah, I hope we do get to see more of the process because I LOVE that BTS shit and seeing how they all work and what were their motivating factors for the characters and seeing how things shifted from concept to movie–yes yes yes!

Cheers all! Thanks for the chat!

[doberbutts]

Okay so not dog related but I need to rant. Those that know me know I have two older sisters and only really get along with one of them.

My oldest sister and I have the best relationship, but we are the farthest apart in age. She is 18 years older than me and has always occupied a weird in-between area of “sibling” and “adult female relative aka aunt”, as she was out of the house, married, and in the Navy when I was born.

The middle child of the family, my other older sister, is 4.5 years older than me and we have never gotten along. From the time we were both old enough to make decisions about who we befriended, we have never really been able to be friendly or even civil with each other. As we aged our fights grew more physical and more explosive until it was a matter of us taking turns sitting on the other and beating the shit out of them. There were a few instances where the police had to be called and a decision had to be made on whether fights between siblings counted as domestic abuse or deserved jailtime.

Even though I’m away from my blood family nowadays and deliberately limit their access of my life, I still get reminded on occasion why I specifically go out of my way to avoid one of my sisters, despite me loving and adoring the kids she’s brought into the world.

My oldest sister called me the other day, wanting nothing more than conversation and pleasantries, and we had a very long discussion about our separate lives. I’d heard that she and my other sister had had a large blow up fight over something from our parents, and when I asked her about it I discovered something.

I cut our middle sister out of my life with the exception of occasionally seeing her during a family get-together or her being in the room when I’m talking on the phone with my mother, and in doing so, removed her favorite target from her clutches. She’d always been jealous of me for whatever reason, and I never understood why (still don’t), because to me it’s all grade school nonsense. She would always call me ugly, while lamenting that she didn’t have my eyes or face shape. She would call me fat, while lamenting that I have always been several sizes smaller than her and seem to be able to eat whatever I want without gaining weight. She made fun of my clothing choices, while saying she wished she had the body to pull off skinny jeans and a tighter fitting shirt. Whenever she wanted to be derogatory regarding my appearance, she’d focus on the fact that I turned out visibly “more black” than she did (darker skin, 3c hair, big nose and lips, wideset hips, broad shoulders, etc) but then if asked about her heritage she would complain that she only looked “mixed” instead of “truly black”. My hobbies were never good enough for her because they were never “girly” things, but she would complain that she was never “allowed” to do boyish things which I know for a fact is a straight lie. If my hobbies did include “girly” things such as sewing, ballet, etc she would make snide remarks on how she was glad I was acting like a girl for once, while complaining that she wasn’t very good at doing those things either.

No matter what I did, it was never good enough for her, and she always had some comment to provoke a fight. She would threaten my animals, she made a game once of swinging my rats by their tails at the wall, she deliberately smashed my videogames and dvds. I have scars from her fights and a memory of the night I went through the window during one epic blow-up. She had picked up my hamster cage with my hamster inside and thrown it against the ground. She would tell me all the time that she hated me and wished I’d never been born so she could be the only child- something that would hurt both myself and our oldest sister who was adopted. I ended up telling her on the day of her wedding that I didn’t love her and that if I had any say in it, I’d never want anything to do with her because she is an abusive bully, and she’d be lucky if she didn’t chase her new husband away before long because of her awful behavior- because she was baiting me to have a fight over the fact that she was getting married first (note: I was 17) and that she found love while I'll be miserable and alone forever since I'm a freak.

So when I moved, I completely stopped interacting with her. I don’t text. I don’t call. I refuse to add her on facebook which she is very upset by. She lost her favorite target when I left and, I thought, maybe she’ll be happier now that I basically pretend I’m not part of the family anymore.

Except that’s not how it went, and she started focusing on our oldest sister instead. Except our oldest sister has far less tolerance for her bullshit than I do thanks to being significantly older than either of us, and called her to the carpet for it pretty much immediately. Our parents, like they did when it was just the two of us, pretty much swept it under the rug and let her do just about whatever she wants with zero consequences, and now they have the issue of having 3 kids who positively will not get along in an enclosed space during whatever family holiday we all end up spending together- considering the last several holidays I’ve been missing for this exact reason and now my oldest sister will also be missing because it means the middle sister will be there. And, again, my oldest sister thought perhaps she’ll be happier now, because she’s effectively become an only child.

Except she’s not- now she goes after her husband the same way. My sisters are neighbors, their houses share a wall, and my oldest nephew (20yrs!) has reported several instances where he can hear the babies crying and my sister screaming and swearing at her husband about something with a lot of other... violent noises like crashes and thumping. Her husband is silent through it all- he just takes it until she's done and then leaves the house for a bit. My nephew’s been advised to call the police if he continues to hear it, because we are all pretty sure that either she has become physically abusive towards her husband or she’s baiting him to hit her so that she can have some new sob story to blare on social media after she got called out for faking a miscarriage before she started having kids. We do know for a fact that she trapped him into staying with the kids- he was talking about a divorce and then a month later she's pregnant. He starts talking about divorce again, she mentions she wants another baby, he says absolutely not because he wants out... she's pregnant a few months later.

I just... don't understand it. I'm sure she's got some sort of mental illness thing going on- I know she was on pills for something and therapy and whatnot, but I deliberately don't interact with her so I have no idea. Schizophrenia does run in our family- our aunt is on and off her meds and is very violent and destructive when "off", our dad has shown similar signs as my aunt (his sister) plus dementia but is being stubborn and refusing to be seen for it, so I wouldn't be surprised if she and I both had some things we need to sort out in that department. But I just don't understand why she's a hateful little shit that seems bent on driving away anyone who could possibly care about her. She's always felt the need to be the best daughter and will tear anyone in her way down to hide her flaws and showcase her talents. She's a spoiled brat that my parents refuse to rein in or do anything about- even when the police and social worker were serious about potentially hauling her off to jail after I needed 40 STITCHES BECAUSE I WAS HURLED THROUGH A WINDOW my parents manipulated the situation until they could get charges completely dropped.

I just do not understand why someone would intentionally be such a hateful shit to anyone who showed them any amount of love whatsoever. And I just- I feel like people talk a lot about abuse from parents or spouses, but never about the shit that siblings do to each other, or just say that's how siblings are and excuse the hell out of it. She's just out of control.

[hereitalkonandon]

Porgs

I already know you don't put up with nonsense and all of that, what I meant is that maybe you would tone it down two times out of ten, and that you should make it one time out of ten but ideally zero out of ten. I noticed I wrote the fractions wrong last night.

But I already knew you are not a pushover, I can't find that one post of course because it's so old, but it basically said you would sometimes not speak your mind about a stupid compliment because you wanted to be accepted/liked, something like that, by men that you like, I wouldn't know if you meant, admiration or attraction by now since I don't remember the quote, or maybe it was someone else's post and then you added a tag, but it wasn't about them being mean, they were actually thinking they were complimenting you and calling you special by saying you are not like other girls.

So, I was just guessing, that maybe you were only at 90% instead of 100% in that sort of situations, to not be too much until you felt comfortable or maybe to not be mean since their intentions were good even if they were being stupid.

But I would never assume you allow people to walk over you, or that you don't speak your mind most of the time, just that maybe you would ignore a few things that you would rather not ignore.

But I was probably wrong because as I said I have no idea of the way that you behave outside your blog with the people that you respect but that you are not comfortable around, I was only guessing because of that one post and maybe four or five other posts.

I was thinking about me too, I'm a lot for most people, but as man, at worst I would get called overdramatic or too intense, but it's fine, a man can be overdramatic and a man can be too intense, they don't make a big deal out of it.

If they did, I still wouldn't stop, as you probably wouldn't, I've lived at 100% ever since I'm 17 or so and couldn't care less and I never once have tried to tone it down in the slightest. Until I met you, but that's different, I'm just so concerned with not being disrespectful because I've never approached anyone for anything, so I feel, as I said, that it's up to me not to be rude, that it's my responsibility because all of this was unasked for.

But of course I hide so many things when it comes to feelings, but just positive feelings, things that mean I care about something, out of some reputation, but it's not even about being masculine. I used to be so into Hello Kitty, it started at 19 or so and it stopped once my girlfriend left, and I told everyone how into it I was, and then I still like her now I just don't care that much. My room wasn't full of Hello Kitty things or anything but I own all that merchandise still. I've always liked Snoopy better but Hello Kitty merchandise was everywhere. I love Porgs now.

But I don't think the things someone likes make him masculine anyway, most men are so concerned about it. I’m only worried about my principles. I've seen men that are obsessed with superheroes and fighting and they are not masculine at all. And I know it doesn't matter if you are feminine or masculine, but most people would say I'm pretty masculine and I'm usually into cute things. I certainly couldn't care less about violence other than spaceships shooting other ships, lightsabers, and sword fights, and then I know you like superheroes so it isn’t meant as an offense but I find them so boring, and movies about people shooting each other too, I just don’t see the appeal.

I've seen a lot of women that hide all their positive feelings too and I wouldn't say they are being masculine, I just can't think of the word right now but I know that what I'm protecting isn't my masculinity because if I were a woman I would also try to protect whatever reputation I’m protecting, I've just always kept compliments and all that sort of things to myself. I've never hugged anyone, kissed anyone, or told anyone I loved them other than my girlfriend, but I also never felt the need to do those things with other people, I don’t have to hide anything, it’s just not there to begin with. So other than that I always say what I'm thinking and do whatever I want to do.

But even if I didn't mean what you thought I meant, I can assume now that you speak your mind at 100% too no matter what the situation is and that you also do what you want. Other than when you could put your life at risk, but that's just like when you avoid walking alone at night as I've read that you do. Men are awful and that's reality, there's nothing to be gained by ignoring that fact.

And of course you never said anything stupid about my relationship, because everything you said could also apply to someone that had a bond as long as mine if what they truly needed was to move on. Even if we had met at 5 and I were 60 now, and she was over me and truly loved another man and believed he is the love of her life. I would be an idiot to refuse to try to get over her and move on with my life. And anyone with common sense would tell me the same things you told me. It's just that my beliefs are too specific.

What you said about your ex-boyfriend, I understand how our emotions can make us have thoughts that are the opposite of what we truly think a day or two afterwards, even if I'm not impulsive at all, and if I really think before I act, if I'm so stubborn and sure of what I want, it happens to me, just five minutes at a time or so, but I feel it sometimes too.

I have said it before but at this point I highly doubt I love her because of who she is, I probably haven't loved her because of who she is since 2014 or so, at that point it started being as if I were her dad and I owed it to her, but I have never forced myself, it's there.

I don't want her to be someone else but I don't think I'm ever going to say that I can't get over her because there is no one like her. The one thing that I hate about her, other than things that have to do with other men, is how chill she is, it bothers me so much. And I know she will always be that way. And I feel like punching all chill people (not her) but not actually, they just frustrate me when I try to understand how their brains work but I don't feel any hate towards them, they aren't hurting me.

I've never been in a fight. I think you shouldn't hit someone unless they hit you first and no one has tried to hit me yet, and you can't hit women either no matter what of course. 

You have your dumb child and that's what parenthood means. I took care of her for so long, in the sense that I spent so many years worrying about her, the way parents do, to me it makes sense that at some point I ended up just living for her safety and well-being, while I'm so proud and had to put my pride first, therefore we are not in contact anymore.

It's just because I know I wouldn't be able to stop yelling and getting so angry if she started talking about men and it's my right to not want to pretend I care to hear that, but I never told her this when I said I wouldn't be her friend. She knows anyway, it's obvious.

I love her like this because of who I am not because of anything in her. It doesn't mean she is a boring person either, she's not like most people. We were so alike sometimes but I don't think she shaped me or that our memories together shaped me, my love for her is probably what shaped me and it has nothing to do with her.

I don't want children but even if I ever did, I wouldn't dare. I feel like you should only have a child if you can make him your priority in your feelings too, not just with your actions, that you should know you would never love anyone over your child and I've already failed that step without even trying, I know who I am and that I could never put anything over romantic love.

But what you said about it taking you a long time to get over that relationship, after my break up I read that it usually takes you at least half the time that you spent together. So knowing who I am, I always assumed it would take me about ten years anyway, and I'm not who I used to be, my feelings are so strange, but I can't say I feel as awful as when she left, that makes me think that maybe in two years it will be better than now too, whether I still love her or not, because right now I love her just as much, the pain is just different.

I know you aren't normal, I just meant you are able to feel any love at all for your family and for your friends, for your boyfriend even when you don't feel as connected to him as you would like, the fact that you can feel love for anyone other than a soul mate, I know that's normal, but I can't do that anymore.

Other than that you are obviously not like most people, I've seen about half your blog and I've a good memory. The special snowflake jokes people keep making on Tumblr, only make me think that the ones making them truly have no idea that there are people that are just different, and if they were different they would know it themselves.

I know you are not trying to sound edgy, I'm old enough and you are the first person like yourself that I know of. I'm aware though that sometimes they make that sort of jokes about people that choose a lot of weird labels and odd interests just in order to feel special, and I don't mind them but that's stupid, that doesn't say anything about their actual character.

I've never assumed that you were in a position to help me though, I merely noticed that you were helping me anyway, even if I didn't want to, that to keep interacting with someone that I could relate to was fixing something inside me, what you were talking about had nothing to do with it. Just the act itself. 

And the fact that I realized that I'm able to feel all those things again if I ever want to can't be erased, not even if you murdered my entire family and I ended up hating you, which is something stupid, but just so you understand.

Because of you I'm sure it can be done now. That it’s just up to whatever I decide to do. For now I'm perfectly happy being trash but the problem is I keep feeling more like who I used to be before, and I know it's not a bad thing and that it would be an awful thing to fight it, not awful, but that it would be wrong so I don't fight it, but I struggle, because I feel like fighting it often.

Yeah, when I write in my journal no one is reading it and I don't want them to, but I start feeling better just by doing that. But I don't understand why you say that people around you don't care that much for the kind of things you are telling me, I know you must be right if you are seeing it, but they love you, they should care.

At the same time though, people that love me listen to me, but I understand what you mean now that I think about it, it's just that it doesn't bother me. Precisely because I'm messed up and I don't mind anything that isn't about my break up. So I don't feel alone or anything, but I never did even before I met her. I feel misunderstood way too often, though, but again, I don’t mind it.

It bothers me that I don’t feel that people are as intense as me, I know there are a lot of intense people, it doesn’t feel like the same wavelength though, I’m not even talking about likes and thoughts, it’s something different, I’ve never seen it, I wish more fictional characters were like that, I said fictional characters because I know that if I found fifty people that had that thing that I’m talking about but can’t explain I wouldn’t bother with them anyway, I would like them, but I enjoy being alone and not having a social life. I never have enough time, for some reason. I don't actually mind if no one cares about what I have to say or my interests. 

What is new to me is that you aren't often thinking about the other guy, and I thought that maybe you were confused or annoyed because you thought that maybe you could get what you wanted from him. I read the post where you said you were disenchanted when you actually went out with him to eat or something, but I didn't know the reason, so I thought you could still be into it.

I don't know if it was an experiment, but what I know is that it sounds like a terrible idea and I see why you lost your interest. It could be that he kept talking about her because she was such a big part of his past.

For a while now, sometimes I end up talking about her because she has something to do with what I'm saying, she was always in my past, and the point is that if I avoided talking about her, I would have to modify the story or sometimes even lie about it, I don’t lie, I don’t like it. The first letter I wrote to you, it was so long, and it talked about me, I didn’t mention her once and yet, everything I said about her gives you a better description of who I am. I could see how talking about your ex-girlfriend doesn't necessarily mean you aren't over her but I also know that sometimes that's exactly what it means.

So if you say he wasn't over her, he probably even told you himself and it's usually what it means. Maybe one time out of ten it's not what it looks like. 

I enjoy that you talk more about yourself when you answer me, I enjoy your thoughts no matter what they are, but the more you talk about yourself the more I can try to talk less about myself. I sort of always end up doing that.

I spent so much time on your blog, because of you of course, at first you didn't even know I was doing it. So it makes sense that I actually love to know about you. I already know everything about me, I just talk a lot, and I enjoy writing about anything really.

But whenever you write a new letter I read it plenty of times and think about everything you say, and when I don't say anything is just because I would rather not write a forced answer and end up writing something dumb just for the sake of writing it. I wish I had something to add about everything you tell me. 

I've always been too selfish and it suits me. Just not with my ex-girlfriend. I try to not be selfish with you and maybe I fail, I try, not because it makes me feel good about myself, it doesn't because it's not about that (I've always felt good about myself already),but because it makes me feel human.

I told you before that once I start writing something I can't stop until I finish, so that's why I'll actually keep losing sleep if I have to when it comes to sending you an answer. But it's just because of who I am. These two weeks though I haven't been sleepy at all, so I barely sleep and that's why I'm often falling asleep at night when I'm writing to you.

[swiztothistay]

Open Letter to the Grey’s Anatomy fans, cast, and crew:

I’ve been a Grey’s Anatomy fan since 2005. I’ve had my Twitter account since 2009. I remember the ‘good old days,’ like in 2013 when Ellen Pompeo first joined Twitter and would tweet super random things and loved interacting with us. The Grey’s Anatomy fandom is (for the most part) an incredibly supportive community that I’ve generally enjoyed taking part in. I’ve met some of my best friends there. However, in recent years, particularly since 2015, I have noticed an increasingly negative side of that community.

As it stands right now, the Grey’s fandom on Twitter is an incredibly toxic environment and appears to consist of whiny, entitled teenagers who seem to think it’s acceptable to direct their complaints about characters and storylines to the cast, writers, and/or crew involved. Let me be very clear about this point:

It’s not acceptable. Period.

These are people who dedicate their lives to creating stories and characters for us as fans. They work 18+ hour days an awful lot of the time. Much of the cast has remained and continues to remain at Grey’s because of the fans. However, as of late, fans show absolutely no respect for these people and it continually astounds me how you treat them. You have all contributed to a fandom that has successfully alienated the cast and crew of a show you all claim to love. Caterina rarely tweets. Jessica doesn’t interact with any of you, and in fact unfollowed most of the fans she did follow. Justin avoided Twitter for months. Ellen can’t be asked 95% of the time, and I truly believe that this is a direct result of supposed “fans” either a) simply being incredibly rude [yet expecting respectful responses back?!?!], or b) complaining because storylines on the show aren’t going as you would like them to.

Recently, one fan (jokingly?) tweeted Krista Vernoff, who has only recently returned to Grey’s as an executive producer, that they would “burn down her house” if she didn’t do right by their 'ship.’ Threats like this are not a joke to these people – who have had to deal with incidents such as fans showing up on their doorsteps and calling their phones, for example. Fans like that have instilled fear into the hearts of this cast. You have no boundaries and zero respect for their privacy. The cast, though being celebrities, are everyday people like us. They are entitled to their privacy. You don’t get to demand access into their lives simply because you are a fan. Stop acting like it’s your God-given right.

To the many MerDer fans I know who have a tendency to slut-shame Meredith for being with other men since Derek: that’s simply not fair. It has been two years since his death for us as viewers, and longer in the Grey’s timeline. While I admit, as a diehard MerDer fan myself, it pains me to watch Mer move on, I think it’s important to realize that Meredith (and all widows) have every right to move on – on their timeline, and at their choosing. You wouldn’t slut shame a widow in your own life, would you?

To the many “fans” who once loved MerDer, once loved Patrick as much as they love Ellen, who now bash Patrick for leaving: you have NO reason to consistently bash a man who, despite your best attempts at denial, helped make Grey’s Anatomy what it was. For years, Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey were the face of the show. MerDer is a huge part of pop culture and even if a person didn’t watch the show, chances were they could identify MerDer, or at the very least Ellen and/or Patrick. Simply put, you don’t know what happened. No one, except the members of the cast who were on set at the time, know what happened. It’s likely we will never know. And, we are not entitled to that knowledge. Really, it’s none of our business. Shonda and the rest of the cast and crew are done talking about it. You need to be too.

To the fans who tweet negative things about a character simply to get a rise out of others: we all see how you do this and then play the victim when said character’s fans go on the defense. You just create more drama and add to the toxic nature of the fandom. It’s ugly. You try and then claim how “you don’t know me” and how “I’m a good person.” Well, do the rest of us a favor and show us that so-called good character through your ACTIONS. If your timeline is full of you calling other fans words I will not repeat here, it’s hard to assume you are a decent person. It’s really not that hard to keep your mouth shut if you don’t like someone or something. I’m guessing though, that most of your parents never taught you that principle of “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.” However, the same goes for those who jump to the defense of their favorite characters - be respectful or don’t say anything.

To the MANY so-called fans who, for the past nine months, have consistently slandered Ellen Pompeo, who send her hateful comments every time she tweets about racism, who call her 'Ms. Reverse Racism’ (among other things), and then cry victim when Ellen responds in kind, congrats! You have created a culture where it’s seen as “cool” to hate the star of your favorite show, to tear her down, and to tear her fans down. It’s clear you also enjoy actively seeking out her fans who continue to support her and harassing them as well. You also have been caught tweeting hateful things to lay people who aren’t involved in the Grey’s fandom but have met her, and that is completely and utterly vile.

It is also quite evident to many of us that those who attack Ellen and call her a reverse racist do not fully understand the issue at hand. Ellen has three biracial children. Her husband is black. You cannot honestly think that, even as a white woman with privilege, it doesn’t strike fear into her heart that perhaps one day her husband might be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong law enforcement officer(s)? That her children won’t experience racism and hatred on the playground or in class one day? A mother’s heart bleeds when her children are in pain. Ellen wants better for her children than what is happening in America today. She is 100% an ally and is on the right side, fighting against racism and discrimination every day – despite your extremely misguided opinions. She is also not wrong in that racism comes in many forms. It occurs at a systematic level, at a community level, at an individual level. The issue is FAR more complex than you all make it out to be – it is not, for lack of better words, a black and white issue. There are many issues at play here.

Yes, sometimes we have to educate those fighting on the front lines with us. Rather than attacking someone for using the wrong words, educate them. And by educate, that does not mean attacking them, calling them fat, calling them a white bitch, etc. As Krista herself said, you get more flies with honey than with vinegar. The way to educate your allies is with kindness, empathy, and respect. You also might have more success if you were respectful - rather than being disrespectful and expecting Ellen’s respect back. She is not a woman who respects those who disrespect her. Respect is earned. You are not automatically entitled to it. Don’t alienate your allies. Ellen has a huge platform and is using it to raise awareness of so many important social justice and environmental issues. And if you don’t like it, or if you take issue with which emoji colors she uses…there is a handy little unfollow button at the top right on her profile. There is also a block button, where you won’t be privy to anything she tweets. Make use of these.

In recent weeks, some of my own friends have left the fandom because they could no longer handle the toxic environment. For their own mental health and well-being, they had to leave. That’s sad. These people love the cast, they love the characters, but they no longer feel safe expressing that anymore. This feeling of not being safe has also come about as a direct result of “group chat” accounts, where multiple people have access to the same account. These people use these groups as a medium to publicly post their “jokes” - many of which are in fact harmful. Your group chat accounts aren’t cute. You can claim that the intent was a joke all you want, but that doesn’t negate the harm you do. You don’t get to say hateful things and then dictate how others respond, under the claim that “it’s a joke.” Be more conscious of your words, and how they have consequences, unintended as they may be. Truthfully, it is much easier to simply think about the things you say than to undo the harm, regardless of your intent.

Ellen, in her 2016 speech accepting the award for 'Best TV Drama’ at the People’s Choice Awards, said that “Our show is about understanding, and compassion, and tolerance, and kindness. And those are themes that we could all use more of.” Let’s make this fandom reflect that as well. Be kinder to the cast and crew and show them some respect. Be kinder to each other. Be more accepting. We all have different favourite characters and different reasons for having those favourites. We each bring different perspectives and experiences to the table. Let’s try to recognize that and create a culture of respect for each other. It’s perfectly fine to disagree on things. What’s not okay is to brutally attack each other, to treat each other with rudeness and hatred. At the end of the day, we all love the same TV show: Grey’s Anatomy.

Finally, on behalf of the 99% of the Grey’s fandom to whom 1% gives a bad name, I would like to extend my apologies to the Grey’s Anatomy cast, crew and writers for the behavior of this small group of fans who have overtaken our fandom and appear to represent us. There is a vast majority of fans who are incredible people that greatly respect and admire the work you all do. We are just outshadowed by the negative. It’s time for that to change.

Look what you made me do. Adriana (@swiftxgreys on Twitter)

[cecilspeaks]

115 - Council Member Flynn, Part 2

Paint a picture. It’ll last longer. Welcome to Night Vale.

Councilwoman Tamika Flynn announced this week that she got a new dog. It’s her 17th birthday in just ac ouple of weeks, so her Dad DeAngelo Flynn said she could adopt a puppy. They went to the Night Vale Animal Shelter and Discount Tire Shop. Tamika thought about this sweetheart pitbull named Rosie, but worried about the need to walk and exercise such an active dog regularly. Same with the Blue Heeler mix named Hydrant. The shelter manager suggested a German Shepard named Vincent, but DeAngelo said no daughter of his would have a German Shepherd. He added that even the German Shepherds with all of their hateful teeth and ignorant rage could not save us from the robot uprising. Tamika said she wanted a smaller dog anyway, and she settled on a Pomeranian, whom she has named Lucky. She brought Lucky to City Hall. Standing atop the front steps of the building Tamika, wearing a long black coat adorned with chevrons, a Sheriff’s badge, infantry cords and little flanks of uncooked beef, held Lucky proudly above her head, the way a person who just got a new car might hold it above their head.

Lucky is a light brown dust bunny with hollow yellow eyes and a shrieking little laugh of a bark. Ah, a real cutie! Happy early birthday, Councilwoman Flynn!

An update on the recent spate of robberies and the related deaths of Tristan and Camilla Cortez. The Secret Police have no new leeds toward suspects, but since the 8 PM curfew has gone into effect, there have been no robberies or major crimes of any kind. They have arrested six people in the last two days for being out after 8 PM. But those people were all angels, who were unaware of the curfew and were just walking around trying to ask people for ten bucks. Now that acknowledging of angels is legal in Night Vale, the angels have been making a fortune, by just asking people for cash they don’t actually need, because they’re billionaires. But people are so happy to be able to acknowledge them that it’s worth the few bucks the angels are asking for.

And now sports. The Night Vale Scorpions wheelchair basketball team lost the state pre-season tournament last weekend 81-72 to the Pine Cliff Lizard Monitors. Pine Cliff forward Helen King led all scores with 30, and Night Vale point guard Janice Palmer set a state record in assists, with 22. 22 assists in a game, that’s empirically the most helpful game a Night Vale player has ever had. Y’all, Janice is my niece.

It’s a shame to lose, but it is only the pre-season. There is still a chance to win the division. Unfortunately, I heard from Janice’s dad Steve that Janice is not handling the loss very well. Steve said Janice works really hard to get assists, because she wants to be a leader to help other people score the points, and even though she set a state record in assists, they still lost. Steve said Janice is working even harder on her passing skills and on running the high pick and roll, which is a basketball term that Steve explained to me, and I knew I wouldn’t understand it, so I wrote down what Steve said verbatim. Let’s see. Here’s what he said a “high pick and roll” was. Quote: “So the defender’s guarding, right? Like this! And then an offensive player comes over here like whoosh! And then the ball handler goes like zam! And then they go all and then, whoom!” Well. Best of luck in the regular season, Janice.

Michelle Nguyen, owner of Dark Owl Records, said that her store was robbed several weeks ago, during the height of the robbery spree. She remembers a person coming in wearing a mask, holding a gun, and smelling like fertilizer. They asked for gas, and Michelle gave the thief a velvet sack full of Item nr 4 bank-run gravel, which is her preferred currency these days. The robber then grabbed a stack of LP’s from the new release section and left. Michelle said she didn’t report the robbery because she didn’t really feel like it was a robbery. “It’s not like anyone listens to music anymore,” she said. “Music is dead! If they had stolen the sound of traffic and sirens and low-flying aircraft, I would have felt truly violated. But who’s gonna miss Keith Urban on vinyl?” Michelle added that everything is music and music is nothing. And then she closed the store for the day to go shout poems at passing trains with her friend Maureen.

Tamika Flynn and her new dog, Lucky, have been making appearances across town at local businesses assuring the owners that the town is safe. In addition to her dark coat with its many pins and stripes and medals and cow flesh, Tamika has begun wearing leather riding boots, a tricorn and spike studded knuckle rings. She’s really taken to the politics of her job, bringing along a camera crew to record these positive interactions with her constituents. It should be noted that there have never been elections for City Council in our town’s history. Even Tamika joined the Council through coercion, not campaigning. Perhaps this isn’t just a photo op, perhaps she really does care about the wellbeing of each of her citizens. She might be my new favorite Council member.

Frances Donaldson, owner of the Antiques Mall, said she was so happy to see Councilwoman Flynn in her store. Tamika shook her hand and told her everything would be OK, that she would not let anyone rob Frances of her antiques. “I mean these antiques are cursed as all getout. Anyone tries to touch one of these things, they’ll be living in a psychological terror-scape,” Donaldson said, “but it was nice of the young lady to say so.” Frances then sat by the window and thoughtfully watched the distant plane plass against the sky.

Liesel Schmidt, who owns the auto-body shop near Summerset and Gray, said Tamika stopped by her shop and told her all about how Tamika’s father worked at an automobile factory for decades, until he was laid off five years ago. He’s since run his own dent repair service. Liesel said Tamika really wanted to impress on her the importance of independently run businesses. “I like Tamika,” Schmidt said, “and her little dog too! He ate some of my socket wrench heads, which made him walk slow – ah, that made me laugh. He’s a good dog!”

Well, I’m certainly happy to see Tamika winning over the people of Night Vale. She’s done a lot for this town. But I know the curfew and travel stoppage has been a real strain. It’s good to see her out there, keeping our spirits up.

It’s time once again for Citizen Spotlight. Today’s Citizen Spotlight is on Megan Wallaby. Despite only being born four years ago, Megan just celebrated her 17th birthday this past spring, and will graduate Night Vale High School with honors next May. Megan enjoys athletics and biology classes, and hopes some day to run her own clinic. She wants to go to a university and major in physical therapy next fall, but she’s not sure where that will be just yet. Megan was also on my niece Janice’s basketball team and was the team’s leading scorer. But after the preseason tournament, she has decided to quit basketball to join Tamika Flynn’s Secret Citizens’ Secret Crime Patrol force. Megan never had an inclination toward law enforcement, but she’s not she can afford college. Even if she gets a scholarship, she says there are still books, dorms, food, beer, pet tarantulas, and clothes to buy. Her parents Tuck and Hershel can’t pay for any of that, so she is taking on part time work patrolling the streets after curfew. The team will miss you, Megan, but our streets are safer with you out there. This has been Citizen Spotlight.

A new report from the Mayor’s office shows a significant drop in crime the past two weeks, since Tamika Flynn took over the Secret Police. Councilwoman gave credit to Deputy Sheriff Sam, the entire police force including the Secret Police, Double Secret Police, Obvious Police and Dog Police, and even the Citizen Patrol Force for their extra efforts. Also Tamika said the bloodred buildings everyone helped paint look gorgeous and intimidating.

But it’s not all good news. The Mayor’s report shows a significant increase in traffic accidents, as the police are stretched so thin. Also, since most of the city’s resources are focused on stopping armed robberies of businesses, there have been unrepaired water main breakages, damaged street signs, and understaffed municipal offices. With few available funds and zero economic activity after 8 PM, city-run departments like the Hall of Public Records, the Public Library, and the abandoned mine shaft outside of town, sit empty most days. 

The Mayor’s office expressed concern in the deterioration of these buildings for lack of huge, not to mention the inconvenience their closures pose. “Councilwoman Flynn is a tough and decided leader, but how far must we push ourselves away from comfort in order to preserve safety?” Mayor Cardinal said. “Our infrastructure is at risk of erosion if we continue to ignore everything, except law and order. Our emotional health is at risk if we close ourselves off.”

And here the Mayor paused to take a bite of a whole fresh butternut squash. Or, as the Europeans call it, a “yam balloon”. She continued with her mouth full: “I ask Councilwoman Flynn to call back the rest of the City Council from wherever they are so we can hold an emergency meeting to explore better solutions toward reducing crime.”

Listeners, I agree with the Mayor. While I love that there have been no robberies or deaths or arsons in the past several weeks, I would also like to point out that a culprit has yet to surface. The police, under the control of Tamika Flynn, do not even have a suspect. Whoever has done this has certainly been stifled by the strict city ordinances, but how long must we continue hiding in our homes every evening? If the person who has committed these crimes is still in this city, they will certainly start robbing, and maybe even killing once again. Tamika refused the Mayor’s request, saying that the other City Council members do not do well under stress, and that they’ve never been of any help in situations like this. Tamika continued.. Oh! Oh, listeners, I – I’m sorry to break into my own story but I am getting reports that Deputy Sheriff Sam and their Secret Police are in a standoff in the Tepid Sands housing development at the intersection of Skillman Boulevard and Dubois Avenue. Shots have been fired, uh I’m going to find out and report further what is happening. But first, let me take you to the weather.

["TMI" by Josey joseyofficial.com]

The good news is that all of the police officers in this afternoon’s fracas are uninjured. The bad news is that two young women were severely wounded by a librarian. A librarian, in their own home! The girls, Lisa Robertson, 18, and her younger sister Marcia, 15, were at home quietly reading their new copies of Patricia Lockwood’s 2017 spectacularly crafted memoir “Priest Daddy”, when they heard a window shatter. A librarian had smelled the humorous and deft poetics of Lockwood’s impeccable writing and broke in to devour the readers of this sharp and emotional story of religion, family, and toxic masculinity. When the librarian found the two sisters, it attacked. It was not the Robertson sisters’ first fight against a librarian. They, along with Councilwoman Tamika Flynn, survived the summer reading program at the Night Vale Public Library three years ago. They nearly did not survive today’s attack.

It was thanks to Sheriff Sam’s quick response that police were able to stop the librarian from further damage. Unfortunately, the librarian, whose name was Dan McDowell, escaped police custody and is still on the loose.

Tamika Flynn, on behalf of the City Council, still away on vacation until this whole thing blows over, expressed sadness for her injured friends and fellow bibliophiles Lisa and Marcia. The Mayor doubled down on her earlier statements and blamed this tragic attack on a city-wide failure to pay for upkeep of municipal buildings. “There was no one there to lock the librarians’ cages, to feed them regularly,” the Mayor said. “As a city, it is our responsibility to protect life, yes, but also protect a life worth living.” Councilwoman Flynn thanked the Mayor for her comments, but then promptly called for a closing of the port authority. No ships in or out of town. Night Vale has no body of water to speak of, but the occasional freighter or cruise ship does arrive.

Flynn also moved curfew to 6 PM and said no one is allowed within 100 feet of the library, or any bookstore, for that matter. “These days my father only talks about the robot uprising,” Flynn said. “For a long time, I thought he was just being weird. There’s no robot uprising! I have seen advanced robotics, and those things can barely walk. Even my phone struggles to load a basic Google image search for “vaping sloths”. But what if there were robots we do not know about? Metaphorical robots. What if the things we cannot see, cannot predict? Why not be prepared to protect ourselves against –any- enemy?” She added her regret that people would not have access to books anymore, but added that maybe, the city should get everyone a nook. “Is nook still a thing?” Flynn added. “Whatever. Mayor Cardinal, let’s have the city buy everyone an e-reader.” Flynn concluded her speech with: “I know curfew is early, but curfew doesn’t apply to law enforcement. You’re all welcome to join my new Vigilante Citizen Squad. Help us beat the hell out of crime after dark!” Lucky laughed, or barked, it was unclear which, and they both left, Tamika’s spurs rattinglina dn long cape swithing.

The Mayor has appealed to the public for support, stating that once we have a full coroner’s report on the bodies of Tristan and Camilla Cortez, we can engage iun a true investigation, rather than martial law. But given Tamika’s success in eradication the robberies, most people still trust her ability to stop librarians. I mean, battling those things is her specialty. There’s no one better. I’m not really afraid of robbers who target businesses, I mean, who’s gonna hold up a radio station? Or a science lab, where my husband works? But if librarians start believing they can wander anywhere, attack anyone reading any old book by one of America’s foremost poets or word smiths, then they could attack me, or Carlos. Or Steve, or Abby, or Janice. I-I know it seems like I’m scared, but I’m not. Like you, I’m just – wary. Wary of lurking disaster. Plus there’s so much to keep me entertained at home after curfew. It’s not like the 1990’s when the only technology we had was putting on politically satirical puppet shows using rocks with cartoon faces drawn on them. It’s actually enjoyable to turn in early each night. I’ve got an Xbox, a VR helmet, some vegetation that is tootally legal, and Susan Wilman’s HBO Go password, which Steve gripped for me. It’s great!

I don’t know how long we ca keep this up,but for now, I just want to feel safe. Stay tuned next for.. wait, hold on. Oh.. I just received a fax that the coroner’s report has been completed, Night Vale and.. huh. Oh wow! Ooh, you’re not going to like this! You know what, let’s save it. 

it’s almost dark, Night Vale, curfew is almost upon us. This will pass as all things will pass. We’re in good hands in Tamika’s hands. If there’s anyone who knows how to protect us from librarians, she does.

Stay tuned next for the sound of two men cuddled up in bed watching the new season of Insecure.

And good night, Night Vale, Good night.  

Today’s proverb: Pull this lever. Don’t worry, you will never know the result.

[theliterateape]

Humpty Dumpty Fell Off the Wall and Now Lives As a Paraplegic

By Don Hall

Neutral. Uncommitted. Unbiased. Undecided.

What beige-like descriptors.

The people who embrace and justify the squatting shuffle of the fence-sitter are those who want to stay friends with both parties of a divorce with no regard for the reason behind it, they wait until the election is pretty much decided before casting their vote, they watch their friend make sexually and racially offensive slurs and turn a blind eye, they wait and choose to not make a choice when it matters.

"After patriots tore down the statue of King George III in New York City on July 9, 1776, they melted parts of it down and made bullets to use against the British.

It is impossible to know the exact number of American colonists who favored or opposed independence.

For years it was widely believed that one third favored the Revolution, one third opposed it, and one third were undecided. This stems from an estimate made by John Adams in his personal writings in 1815.

Historians have since concluded that Adams was referring to American attitudes toward the French Revolution, not ours. The current thought is that about 20 percent of the colonists were Loyalists — those whose remained loyal to England and King George. Another small group in terms of percentage were the dedicated patriots, for whom there was no alternative but independence.

Often overlooked are the fence-sitters who made up the largest group."

SOURCE

They are often overlooked because their contribution was zero. Nada. Nothing but making it more difficult for the nation-to-be to move forward (or backward.) Fence-sitting is understandable, though. Generally not of the neutral or even-handed sort, I have experienced my own bouts of indecision in the guise of diplomacy and I’m almost always regretful of those moments.

I regret my refusal to wholeheartedly endorse Al Gore when he ran for president. If more of us had rallied more aggressively in his favor rather than sitting on the sidelines explaining that he was wooden and uninspiring, we might not have had eight fucking years of Bush Jr. or the longest war in American history. Kinda makes one re-think all the criticism and indecision of Ms. Clinton, don't it?

I regret continuing to remain a close friend with a former band director who I knew was an adscititious gay-hater, ignoring his barbs and homoragic jokes until I found out he regularly donated to organizations that were designed specifically to curtail gay rights. Only then did I make the decision to severe ties with him. Too little, too late.

I watched Lydia Lucio brand a friend and mentor in her nascent storytelling days a racist and a sexist and go after him with a ferocity that seemed unnecessary and vindictive, and I sat on the fence. I refused to choose sides because I was a friend to both. Certainly a chunk of my motivation for casually straddling the wall between them was arrogance but whatever the rationale, a year later I paid for that non-choice as she viciously turned the same tactics on me, going a step further to enlist others to the cause.

When I see white people in a Starbucks or a Waffle House or on the street watching police use abusive physical force on black people instead of stepping in, I see fence-sitters. Refusing to choose out of fear of retribution or apathy (or white supremacy — don't wanna forget that…)

Each time a kid who commits suicide (and apparently they are doing this in record numbers since the advent of social media and the pocket sized super computer) because of online bullying, there were teachers and parents and other kids who watched the click-baity fun and said nothing, did nothing. Same with the white guy shooters. Fucking fence-sitters.

That voter, holding out his support, thinking that his one vote will shift the tide rather than the tide being a whole motherfucking bunch of votes and money and time? The rails of that fence are dead center up his bunghole. The appearance of a spine is really just the fence post propping him up.

Certainly, throwing one’s allegiance to a cause without thinking it through is stupid.

Think it through. Observe the behavior. Weigh the consequences.

Then make a fucking choice.

Social media makes fence-sitting easier. Understanding that being a Faceborg friend or a Twitter-follower is not at all the same as being an authentic friend or genuine follower makes it an uncomplicated non-choice to see shitty behavior from one “friend” to another and ignore the implications. Remain connected with both because, hey, it isn’t your fight, right?

I wrote a piece for the Ape back in January of 2017 entitled The Company You Keep Defines Who You Are: 

"Certainly, we each are our own person. Certainly, we are not so influenced by the people around us as to be so blatantly a composite of them. But just as certain is the fact that those with whom we spend the most of our time shape who we become.

Women who spend a lot of time together often begin to menstruate on the same cycle. We pick up smoking, petty theft, language, dress, prejudice, ideology much in the same way. Creatures born to inhabit tribes, it is our natural instinct to adopt the patterns of the herd. It's one of the reasons that the Internet can so easily allow us to form mobs that fail to thoroughly read or reason before rendering a perceived enemy to reputable shreds."

I once had a longtime friend ask me why we didn’t hang out anymore. At first I didn’t really have an answer, and the old salt of “growing apart” came to mind. Later it hit me. She was still close friends with my ex-wife who, after sleeping with another friend, went on a semi-public campaign of reasons why we divorced that included a litany of how terrible I was but failed to mention her infidelity. My friend decided that her behavior was fine (it wasn’t, after all, about her and I probably deserved the cuckoldry) and rode that fence.

An insidious side effect of social media is that, while in the world of flesh and bone I can craftily avoid those weaselly fuckers whom I find noxious and hateful, with the many fence-sitters on that Friends list, I am constantly surprised by things that remind me of them. The ease of not choosing online, of remaining detached and out of the line of fire, creates webs of connectivity with people whom we no longer want to be connected.

(Christ. As I'm typing this, I see a notification from a good friend espousing a special comedy project illustrated by said ex-wife's husband who has gone out of his way to shitmouth me online! Good holy cocknabbing GAWD, I'm truly learning to detest social media!)

"With the ubiquity of online social network sites and the substantial amount of time being spent on them, important questions have arisen regarding the effect of online social interactions on well-being.

Results from some studies have suggested that social media use might increase the risk of mental health problems and might compromise well-being more generally. Use of social media may detract from face-to-face relationships, reduce investment in meaningful activities, increase sedentary behavior by encouraging more screen time, lead to Internet addiction, and erode self-esteem through unfavorable social comparisons."

SOURCE

I have made the argument that social media is just a tool and it is the user of that tool who decides how to use it. Given the growing tendency of accidentally stumbling upon the tantrum-throwing, polemic-spreading, bullying fuckfaces of the world and increasingly feeling the desire to get a baseball bat, wrap it in barbed wire, throw on my motorcycle jacket and "save" a few people, it's time to change the landscape some. I've spent too much time learning to manage my temper (in the Inside Out version of my brain, I have two emotions: Rage and Joy. They are identical twins and finish each other's sentences) to let the fence-sitters in my feed inadvertently open doorways to unreasoning hatred.

I no longer unfriend. The term has too many unintended meanings. I simply block you out. Understanding that a Faceborg friendship is not the same thing as an actual friendship, if you are my friend, I'll see you around. If you suddenly find that you can no longer see my online presence, that's what happened. Most people won't even notice which means I'm starting to do this right.

I can no longer sit on the fence when it comes to FB. I'd rather enjoy my day, use this tool to appreciate those around me and ignore those who can't make a choice. 

Think it through. Observe the behavior. Weigh the consequences.

Then make a fucking choice.