#[queue are part of this family. always and forever]

[toldthatdevil]

Little Fish

pairings: WandaNat x Little!Reader

Content: swimming lessons, first time at a water park, protective mommies, age regression

A/N: so this ask actually disappeared from my inbox and im so glad I had it saved in my notes because I really got into this one so thank you to the anon that sent it to me.

p.s if you sent in an ask and I never responded to it, it might be because it has also disappeared so feel free to send it in again!

Prompt: Hihi i dunno if this is where we request things but could you maybe write wandanat x little!reader with maybe a trip to a water park or going swimming or something please? Maybe teaching her how to swim? I can't swim and I miss summer.

It was the height of summer. The worst season ever, because it meant you were always hot and always sweaty. It was the kind of hot that made all of your clothes cling to your skin and your hair feel like a sticky mess if it wasn’t tied up properly. But today your mommies were trying to make your summer a little less awful, because today they were taking you to the water park. 

The drive felt like it was taking forever. You were practically vibrating in your car seat with excitement, asking, “Are we there yet?” every five minutes, much to Natasha and Wanda’s amusement. But, finally, finally, the twisting water slides appeared in the distance, and you pressed your face against the glass, straining to get a better look.

“Someone’s excited,” Natasha smirked, catching you bouncing in the rearview mirror.

Wanda turned around in her seat, brushing your knee with her hand to get your attention. “Remember our rule, sweetheart? You stay close, and tell mommy or me if it starts to feel like too much.”

You nodded eagerly, too busy staring out the window at the water slides to answer. This was your very first time at a water park, and even though you couldn’t really swim—if at all—your mommies had promised they’d stay with you the whole time, no matter what.

Once the car was parked, Natasha helped you out of your car seat while Wanda grabbed the bags from the trunk.  Together, you joined the queue to enter the park ,then made your way to the family changing room. 

Inside, Wanda knelt down helping you out of your clothes and into your swimsuit. “Arms up,” she prompted gently. You obeyed with a giggle, delighted as she helped you wriggle into your swimsuit.

But then came the worst part. 

“Sunscreen time,” Natasha announced, kneeling in front of you with the bottle in her hand. “Hold still, lovebug,” she said, trying to smother the cold lotion onto your skin.

“Eww! It’s yucky!” you whined, trying to squirm away. You knew sunscreen was important, but did it always have to feel so cold? You felt Wanda’s hands rest gently but firmly on your shoulders to stop you squirming even more.

“Just a little more,” Wanda soothed, bending down to kiss your cheek. “We don’t want you coming home looking like a tomato, now do we?”

You sighed and gave a reluctant nod, murmuring a soft “hm” as you finally gave in.

“And done,” Natasha said with a satisfied nod, tossing the bottle back into the beach bag.

You immediately turned scrambling toward the door, your hand already on the handle. “Can we go, can we go?”

Behind you, Wanda was half naked, she hadn’t even had time to put her bikini bra on before you opened the door.

“Hey—! Wait, wait!” Wanda gasped, fumbling to cover herself before you could swing the door all the way open exposing her. “Mama’s not trying to flash the whole water park here, sweetheart.”

Natasha chuckled from where she was folding your clothes back into the bag. “Easy, tiger,” she said with a teasing glance.

Wanda smirked as she finally got the ties of her bikini top secured. 

“Ugh,” you groaned dramatically, bouncing on your heels as you waited. “Can we go now?!” 

“Hm…” Wanda drew out the sound as she looked you over thoughtfully. “I don’t know… I think something’s missing.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “What?”

She knelt down beside one of the bags on the floor and unzipped it.

“I have something for you,” she whispered, with a smile.

Your eyes widened as she revealed a pair of colourful armband floats and a floatie shaped exactly like your favourite animal.

“Mama!” you gasped, reaching out with grabby hands. “I love them!”

Natasha and Wanda chuckled, happy with your reaction.

“What do we say?” Natasha prompted gently, one eyebrow raised as she stood and slung the bag over her shoulder.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” you squealed in delight, throwing your arms around your mama and hugging her tightly.

————

The water park was… a lot.

It was bigger than you imagined. Louder too. You stood there hesitantly, unsure of what to do first. You watched as the other children darted past you, shrieking with laughter, water splashing everywhere. There were so many people and it all felt like chaos, which was exciting but also overwhelming. 

You reached for your mommies’ hands without thinking, suddenly feeling very, very small.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Wanda murmured, sensing your nervousness. “How about we start with something gentle? We could try the lazy river, hm?”

You nodded, not entirely sure what that was but trusting your mommy’s suggestion. 

You didn’t have to wait in line long before, you were settling into your brightly coloured inflatable ring. Natasha held it steady for you so you didn’t drift off, then climbed into her own once Wanda had settled into hers.

You could feel the current tugging at you gently eager to move and for a moment you were worried that as soon as Natasha let go you would be whisked away, but she didn’t. The water stayed slow and gently, carrying all three of you along.

You trailed your fingers through the warm water, watching the ripples spread. One loop around the river turned into two before you even realised, and you were secretly hoping to go around a third time but Wanda gave your ring a soft nudge.

“Alright, little fish,” she smiled, “let’s try something else?”

———

After the lazy river, you wandered through the park for a while, taking everything in from the safety of your mommies arms. They took turns giving you piggy backs when you complained that the ground was getting too hot for your bare feet. Together you looked at the wave pool, watched the bigger kids zoom down the slides that were way too tall for you, and found it particularly hilarious to watch the giant water buckets fill up and tip over, splashing water onto people’s heads.

Eventually though your tummy started to rumble.

You ate lunch with your mommies by the lagoon pool, munching on sandwiches and fruit cups. As you ate your food, you watched the other kids slide down the smaller slides nearby, eyes glued to them.

You were too small for the big slides you saw earlier,  but these ones looked smaller, something you might be able to try. 

“You wanna try it out, lovebug?” Natasha asked, following your gaze. 

You bit your lip. You really wanted to… but it was new and that made it scary. 

“I can go with you,” she offered gently. “You can sit right in my lap the whole way down.”

You looked at your mama, unsure. Wanda gave you an encouraging smile, her voice soft as she spoke. “You can do it sweetheart,” she said, her eyes warm and reassuring. 

That was all you needed to hear to convince you. You nodded, but you were only going if mommy went with you like she said she would, and if mama would wait for you in the pool below.

Taking a deep breath, you started to climb the metal stairs. Natasha’s hand found yours, steadying your nerves as you climbed, but still each step forward made your heart beat faster and butterflies flutter in your belly. Natasha’s voice was soft and low beside you so only you could hear, soothing you gently. “You’ve got this, lovebug. We’re almost there.”

When you reached the top, you realised just how high up you were. It didn’t look that tall from the ground but now you were here you were unsure if you could do it at all. 

You watched as Natasha sat down first on the slide, the water rushing past her. She reached out her arms for you but you stood there hesitantly. “Come on, squirt” she said.

Carefully you shuffled over to her and she pulled you effortlessly into her lap.

“Ready?” she asked, adjusting you slightly so you were secure. You gave her a nervous nod, and with your approval she pushed off gently, starting your descent down the slide.

You screamed the entire way down, clinging to her as you whooshed around the bends of the slide, cold water spraying your face. You had your eyes shut tight the entire way down, so the big splash into the pool took you by complete surprise. 

You felt Natasha’s grip tighten on your waist just before bringing you up above the water. 

As you wiped the water from your face and blinked your eyes open, you saw your mama waiting right where she said she’d be. In the pool, only she had a waterproof camera in hand. 

“You did it, sweetheart!” she cheered, beaming. She waded over and planted a big kiss on your cheeks, making you giggle.

“Again!!” you shouted as soon as you caught your breath.

Natasha laughed. “Could you hear her screaming the whole way down?”

“I’m pretty sure half of the park heard her,” Wanda laughed. 

—————

The rest of the afternoon consisted of waiting in line for the same exact slide, over and over again and running around in the splash pads. 

But there was only one thing left you really wanted to try: the wave pool.

Wanda frowned slightly. “I think you might be too little, sweetheart…”

Your bottom lip wobbled. “Please, Mommy?” you whispered, turning to Natasha. You knew Natasha was much easier to convince than your mama.

Natasha sighed, and looked over at Wanda. “Maybe we give her a quick swimming lesson first?”

Wanda didn’t answer right away. She glanced between the two of you, looking at your hopeful little face made her soften, just a bit.

“Okay,” she said finally, “but I want to see you swimming like a little fish before we even think about the waves.”

—————

“I can’t do it mommy,” you whimpered, your little toes curling over the edge of the pool. Even though the water was shallow and you could see the bottom, see the toys that had sunk down there waiting to be recovered. it was still so scary.

“Yes you can,” Natasha encouraged from the water, her red hair now pulled back into a ponytail, her arms wide open for you, “you’re so brave, I know you can do this.”

“And I’m right behind you,” Wanda added, rubbing small circles on your back but your heart still felt as though it was going to beat its way out from your ribcage.

“What if I sink?” you asked in a small voice, feeling yourself slipping deeper into your headspace.

Wanda knelt beside you, taking your hands gently in hers. “Watch,” her voice was soft. She waved a hand and tendrils of her red magic rippled through the water, and a toy that had sunk to the bottom of the pool floated up into her hand. “If you go under, I’ll just bring you back to me.”

You giggled. Her magic always helped and you loved watching her use it.

“Okay,” you whispered. “But do I have to jump?”

Natasha smiled. “No, silly.”

“Come sit on the steps with me,” Wanda said, guiding you down to sit on the first step. The water lapped at your waist, and Natasha waded over to come closer to you.

“Lesson Number 1,” Natasha said, slipping into what you called her "secret spy" voice, “is learning to be friends with the water. Let’s start by splashing.”

You kicked and splashed and giggled, slowly relaxing. Natasha taught you to blow bubbles with your face partially submerged.

“That’s it, just like blowing out birthday candles.”

You watched as she showed you how to use your arms to push you forward in the water. 

“Imagine you’re scooping ice cream.”

And she showed you how to float on your back without your armbands on.

Wanda sat at the edge of the pool, watching and taking pictures with her camera, occasionally giving your floatie that you had insisted on bringing with you a nudge closer with her magic, making you giggle through your nerves.

It didn’t take you long to catch on, and now you were barely holding onto Natasha. You were only using her as a guide, scared you would bump your head on the pool wall without her.

“Okay, I’m going to let go of one hand,” she warned, “but I’ll be right here.”

You nodded, determined to this. She let go and you kept going, you kept kicking and scooping and you were finally swimming!

“You’re doing it!” Wanda cheered from the side of the pool, her camera clicking rapidly.

“Mommy, I wanna try without you holding me!”

Natasha raised a brow but nodded. “Alright then squirt. Swim from me to Mama.”

You took a deep breath, scooped, kicked and swam, doing your best to go in a straight of a line as possible. You knew you’d made it when Wanda scooped you into a tight hug.

You let out a squeal.

“Now back to me!” Natasha called, her arms outstretched for you.

You felt much more confident this time, but you kicked yourself right into Natasha’s embrace.

“Mission accomplished!” she declared, giving you a big kiss on your wet cheeks and spinning you around. “Wave pool time?”

You grinned, nodding excitedly.

——————

You waded in together just at the right time. The horn blared signalling the start of the waves.  The gentle swells of the water began to rise, rolling in lazily at first before you saw them really starting to build in size. 

Wanda had one hand resting on your back, her other subtly weaving glowing red threads of her magic into the water around you. You didn’t notice what she was doing exactly, but you could tell the water felt different where you were, it was softer. Nowhere near as exciting as further out, where you wanted to be.

But then you noticed why.

“Mama,” you pouted, craning to look up at her. “You’re making the waves small!”

Wanda sighed, caught in her act. “I was just trying to keep them from being too rough for you, sweetheart.”

“I want the big ones,” you insisted, pointing further out. “The real waves,”

You could see her hesitation. She glanced at Natasha for backup, but Natasha only smiled. “She’s got her armbands on, Wanda,” Natasha said. “She’ll be fine.”

You beamed happily, and latched yourself onto Natasha’s hip as you couldn’t quite reach the bottom of the pool anymore. You wrapped your little arms and legs around her like a baby koala as she walked the two of you out into deeper water. Wanda stayed close beside you, her brows slightly knit together with concern.

You felt the water gradually lifting around you, rising and falling like it was breathing. It almost felt like you were flying. The thrill of it made your heart pound hard in your chest 

“I wanna go deeper!” You squealed.

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” Wanda asked cautiously, brushing your wet hair out of your eyes.

“Yes! Deeper!”

Your mama looked like she might say no, but Natasha was already racing ahead, stepping further in, her grip firm around your waist.

“She’s okay,” Natasha called back confidently. “I’ve got her.”

You were in the thick of it now, the waves were cresting higher than anywhere else in the pool, more violent too. You had your arms wrapped around Natasha’s neck, laughing. You were so far out you don’t even think she could touch the floor anymore but you didn’t care. You were having fun. You felt brave. You felt big.

But then it happened.

A massive wave rolled in. “Hold on-“ Natasha started, but it was too late.

She tried to hold you tighter, but the wave knocked into her full force, and for a terrifying moment, you felt yourself slip out of her arms.

You were under the water.

You tumbled with the wave, turning upside down, water burning your nose and throat. 

Before you could panic fully, you felt a familiar warmth grasp wrapping itself around you like a ribbon and pull you through the water, into the arms of your Mama. She clutched you tightly to her chest, holding the back of your head, her heart pounding against you. You were sputtering, coughing, trying to blink away the water from your eyes. 

Your chest felt tight and your face scrunched in confusion from what just happened. You weren’t crying…not yet.

“Oh my god, is she okay?” Natasha swam up, breathless and soaked, her hands hovering near you. “I’m so sorry, I had her- I didn’t mean to -shit.” 

Your head snapped toward her, still dazed by the wave, but you caught what she said.

“Bad word,” you mumbled, sniffling a little.

“What?” Natasha blinked in confusion.

“You said a bad word, mommy,” you repeated, the tiniest form of a grin breaking on your face.

Wanda huffed a soft laugh, before pressing a firm kiss to your forehead. “She’s fine,” She murmured with relief, but you could tell her voice was still tight. She looked up at Natasha with a stern frown. “No more wave pool.”

Natasha nodded immediately, the guilt written all over her face. “Agreed. I’m so sorry, lovebug.”

You didn’t answer—just wrapped your arms tightly around Wanda’s neck, pressing your cheek against her shoulder.

Wanda carried you out of the pool, not letting go for even a second. You were still a little shaky, your face pink and damp, but you stayed quiet as she wrapped a towel around you and gently patted you dry.

“Let’s get you warm,” Wanda said softly, tucking your floaties under her arm.

Natasha came back with a bottle of water and your favourite snack from the cooler bag, crouching beside your lounge chair.

“Here,” she whispered, holding it out. “Hydration mission, agent. Top priority.”

You took the bottle with both hands and drank obediently, eyes still a bit wide but your fingers curling in comfort when Wanda sat down beside you and draped another towel across your lap.

“Think we’re done with deep water for today,”Natasha said gently, brushing her knuckles against your cheek.

You nodded slowly, leaning into Wanda’s side as she wrapped her arm around you. The events of the day were beginning to catch up to you. You were warm, dry, full of snacks, and now totally tuckered out.

“Can we do lazy river again later?” you asked with a yawn, your voice small, already starting to lose your battle with sleep.

Wanda smiled and tucked your damp hair behind your ear. “Of course we can, my love.”

Natasha leaned in and kissed your temple. “But only if you promise to let me hold you extra tight.”

You gave a sleepy nod, and let your eyes flutter shut, needing to close them for just a few moments. But the sounds of the water park, the laughter, the splashing, the feeling of the sun on your skin slipped further and further away from you and before you knew it, you were fast asleep, wrapped contently in Wanda’s arms.

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

Standing a step behind you, watching you from afar, is already my biggest happiness.

Sorry for spamming I accidentally put the post in queue two times, this is the proofread and correct one the previous one is not :']

Price + Ghost*Reader

Price

Price doesn’t want to bind you to him. He’s nearly 40, plus the rank difference between you two, he’s a mature superior, no personal feelings should be involved in the workplace.

Not to say, he doesn’t sense even a tiny bit of romantic love from you, every time he tries to hide his affection towards you, he only sees respect for comrades in your eyes.

Even till the day you jump out and take a bullet for him as he gets knocked down accidentally, which ends up with the enemy dying, but you become lifeless in his arms, blood painting his palms and gear, he still believes you just view him as a teammate.

As he steps into your silent quarter and reads the words written in the journal, he slumps onto the bed, speechless as sorrow swallowing him that he needs to bite his lips until he tastes the bitter to stop him from crying.

“Personal feelings won’t be allowed, I can see Captain comply with this rule without exceptions.” “but it’s okay if it means I can stay beside him.” “It’s already a bliss that I can watch him from afar.”

He’s seasoned with gravel and pain, which ends up making a choice to free you from caging with him and hide his love, but unknown to him, you’re better at secreting yourself.

Ghost

He’s an expert at hiding and perceiving other’s feelings, not a single human —even his captain— is able to conceal the true thoughts running in their mind from him.

He knows he views you differently , not the family love like he owns for other 141 members, but the need to stay beside you forever, become old together if you both are pardoned from dying on the field at a young age.

The emotion plants a seed in his heart, sprouting as time flows, and when he realizes, the branches are already entangled with his heart.

Yet he chooses to lock those feelings inside the deepest part of him, he stares at you secretly with an amount of distance, always got your six and protects you, but never closer.

He’s afraid if standing too close to you, the sentiment will break through his mask and reveal it to you.

No one left behind, that’s his motto, yet he derogates it the moment he watches you shove the enemy badgering him off his body and over the railing, but he can’t catch your hands as he helplessly witnesses you tumble over inevitably.

You leave nothing, not even your body has been found, since the bomb exploded and perish you and the enemy together.

But when he flips through your journal in your room, he takes off his balaclava, letting it fall to the floor carelessly, as he discovers it does nothing to hide the truth from you.

“Something’s holding Ghost back, but I can wait, until he’s comfortable enough to take a step, even if it means years.” “I imagine we getting old together, but am I provided with such privilege?” “Maybe not, hence I’m already extremely satisfied to have a chance to watch him from afar.”

He assumes he’s excels at observing people, but what he’s unaware of is after he stares at you across the room and turns away eventually, your eyes land on him and never dart either.

a/n: thx for reading, have a nice day/night! :D

[niko-sasaki-dbd]

Queue Interview with the Dead Boy Detectives Cast 👻🔎

This is going to be a long post! (These are my favourite parts from the interview!)

George Rexstrew as Edwin Payne

Acting Inspiration

Oh, gosh. Well there are so many. Meryl Streep, obviously. Viola Davis, obviously. More recently, I was blown away by Enzo Vogrincic in Society of the Snow. And Eden Dambrine in Close.

Cast Camaraderie

I loved working with all my co-stars. I’m practically related to Jayden [Revri] and Kassius [Nelson] at this point. Yuyu [Kitamura] is a dream. Jenn [Lyon] is mother hen. Bri[ana Cuoco] is the cool older sister. Josh[ua Colley] is the cheeky cousin. Ruth [Connell] is the godmother who gives you a card and £20 for your birthday. It really is one big happy dysfunctional family. I’m grateful for all of them, on and off camera.

Jayden Revri as Charles Rowland

Dressing The Part

These heads of departments, and Monique and Kelli, [they’re] unbelievable. They were so collaborative. We went through different hairstyles and different things we could do with the makeup. We added a bit of eyeliner for [Charles] just to make it feel more 80s. And then Kelli, I mean, it was like she did her research on me. She added badges to the jacket which kind of represented me as Jayden, before I even got there. It wasn’t until I got the haircut, put the makeup on, put the costume on, and I was like, Okay, this is Charles.

Cast Camaraderie.

The vibe was just incredible. Me and George, we really wanted to set the tone for the series and make sure that everyone’s having fun and it’s an environment where we could all talk about how we’re feeling. We were just such a big support blanket for each other. If there was ever a time that somebody needed space, or they wanted to prep themselves for a certain scene they were going to film, we all respected that and we were each other’s cheerleaders the whole entire time. And it’s still the same to this day now. I think it really shows when you watch the series that we all knew what we were making and we wanted to make something that we would want to watch, which we’ve all done. I cannot shout out my castmates enough. Forever grateful.

Kassius Nelson as Crystal Palace

Acting Inspiration

I watched a lot of animation. I used to watch the Addams Family, the black-and-white one, because I didn’t have Disney Channel or anything. Monk, Murder She Wrote, I was watching those things, so maybe I was actually destined to play a detective, now that I’m thinking about it. I watched a lot of cartoons and animations. I just liked the idea that I could be engrossed in another world. And I always wanted to know what happened next, or when the film finished, I would be like, “Okay, but then what? What happens after that?” And now I get to be part of that question or that answer (...).

Dressing the Part

We have a fantastic costume designer, Kelli Dunsmore. I always say that she literally wove the story into the fabric of the clothes, because there are things that she foreshadowed in the clothing that happened episodes later. Or, if characters start to get in some sort of relationship with each other, that will be reflected in the clothes that they wear or the colors that they have. Or, if they’re feeling any type of emotion, (...)l. Crystal wears these massive platform boots that must be about four or five inches. They’re huge, very heavy, but it’s funny because they change the way that you walk. (...) She’s not very light, which makes sense with the things that she’s going through and the experiences that she’s having. Practically, it helped, because Jayden and George are like six-foot-something. So, if I film a scene and I’m at the bottom of the lens and they’re up there, that helped. I’ve got a good couple inches on my feet.

Yuyu Kitamura as Niko Sasaki

Acting Inspiration

Sandra Oh is a woman that I will forever be indebted to because who she was on Grey’s Anatomy was so formative for me. The most interesting thing about her character was not that she was Asian, but that she was such a fully fleshed person with flaws and amazing qualities. And her work ever since I think has been iconic, so she’s a woman that I deeply look up to.

Landing the role in Dead Boy Detectives

I auditioned from Hong Kong and my dad was my reader because all of my acting friends were in New York. My dad was able to carve out time and be an amazing reader. And in that audition side, it’s the scene where Niko gets to see the “Dead Boys” for the first time, and there’s a line in there that was something along the lines of me talking to Edwin and asking, “Do you two make out with each other?” And my dad stopped the tape and he was like, “What are you reading for?” And I was like, “Don’t give me notes, it’s fine!” And so that was the audition process! I think within a month I found out I got the part and it’s been an absolute dream ever since.

Dressing the Part

(...) I think on paper Niko can seem like a certain type of character, but even in the choice of every costume we did, every color that she wears, every meticulous little piece about everything from her nails to her room, it’s so well curated and thought out. Through her journey, we also find that she’s a woman that wears what she feels. On the surface, she might seem like the most joyful, young, optimistic girl, but it’s the inner confidence and bravery where we find that she’s layered, and she is very much a young woman coming of age.

SOURCE: MEET THE REAL DEAD BOY DETECTIVES (AND FRIENDS)

[torukmaktoskxawng]

'anla - part four

part one, part two, part three

Summary: The Sully Family is trying to work around their grief and Ao'nung learns that family doesn't always have to be by blood. It can be by choice.

Pairing: Ao'nung/Fem!Na'vi!Sully Reader

Warnings: Mature language, time skips, HEAVY angst, depression, older sibling syndrome, mentions of death, canon typical violence, canon compliance, slow burn, etc.

Word Count: 5k+

Tag: #'anla ao'nung fic

Na'vi Words: nivi - hammock, olo'eyktan - clan leader, tulkun - whale like animal, Sänrr Rong - Glow Tunnel, marui - home, ikran - Mountain Banshee, pa'li - direhorse, Iknimaya - Rite of Passage, kuru - queue braid, tsahik - spiritual leader, kalweyaveng - son of a bitch

posted on ao3

Taglist (red indicates "could not tag"): @bangtanxberm @aonungmyaddiction @lv9su @aisselasstuff @yourusername1 @amortencjja @king-julian6201 @gg-trini @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @mikeyswifie @heart-an0n

A/N: 200 followers?! When did that happen? Thank you so much for the support of this series and for all the requests! Here's the next part of the series in celebration! 🍾 ✨️ 🎉

Going through the motions.

That's what Y/n ended up doing since the day her twin brother was murdered by the Sky People. She would wake up and not feel as though she was actually awake. Mostly it still felt like some sort of bad dream and she somehow couldn't open her eyes. She moved around and did everything she was supposed to, but mostly it was like she was on autopilot.

Losing Neteyam took a toll on everyone in her family along with the people around them. At the funeral, they all had a role and took part in letting his body go, even Spider, who had been rescued from the Sky People in the chaos of losing Neteyam. Y/n didn't even realize Spider was living among them again until the next day after she had passed out from screaming and crying to her dead brother. He and Kiri were sitting beside her nivi and the human boy even offered her water for her aching throat.

After that, Y/n couldn't remember much, she just let her body lead her. As mentioned before, she was just going through the motions. Everyone around her could agree that she was just a walking shell, eating when she needed to, sleeping when she had to, and doing her chores, and other daily duties around the village. Her expression had become stone, even during her brother's funeral. It was as though she didn't have any more tears left to shed and her chest felt hollow.

The Sully family mourned for a week and even longer once Jake got reassurances from both Tonowari and Ronal. To everyone's eyes, the Sullys were Metkayina now and they were being allowed to stay forever, as part of the People. The Sully kids wanted to feel proud, but instead, it felt bitter and more like guilt. To Y/n, her acceptance into this new clan didn't mean anything. Not anymore. It didn't make her feel anything other than that empty hole in her chest. Physically, there wasn't a hole, but mentally, up in Y/n's head, she had a hole in her chest that was bleeding out and it was the same size as the bullet hole left in her twin.

It took a while, but eventually, the Sully kids reverted to something resembling normal. Yes, they were still grieving, but now they moved around, helped out in the village, and went back into the water. Lo'ak, Kiri, and Tuk have found themselves playing again, and this time, they're showing Spider around and dragging him everywhere, despite the stares and whispers.

Y/n goes with her siblings everywhere, but she doesn't play or explore. Instead, she keeps watch. She had definitely unsettled many of the Metkayina, walking behind her group of siblings, carrying a bow and arrows in both of her arms, scaring people away with just one glance. She brought her weapons everywhere now, never being seen without them. She couldn't afford not to have them again. It was hard for anyone to believe that she was just fifteen years old, with the way she held herself and hovered over her family members, her yellow eyes watching them like a hawk. While they played in the water, the Sully kids could rely on their big sister to watch over them. She was always near, sitting on some rocks, high above her siblings so that she could see everything that comes within a hundred feet of them. Her brother and sisters could always rely on her to be a constant presence, even if she didn't appear to be all in her right mind.

There was also an unexpected constant presence beside Y/n when she was like this, and that presence was Ao'nung. Whenever he could, the reef boy would be beside the former Omatikaya girl. Y/n was so used to being Neteyam's shadow, she never realized that she had one of her own. Ao'nung refused to leave her alone, ever, especially if he knows that she wanted to be left to her thoughts. He wasn't sure what was going on in her head, but something dark and terrifying in his gut told them that whatever demons she had, she shouldn't be left alone with. So, he remained steady and strong, like a cliff against a mighty storm. Unmoveable and calm, Ao'nung became Y/n's silent shadow wherever she went.

It wasn't much of a challenge, especially since Y/n barely goes anywhere. She follows her siblings around during the day and that was it, otherwise, she was with the entire village for communal meals and then with her family to sleep for the night. The meals and slumber were the only things Ao'nung had to part himself from Y/n, but otherwise, he remained stuck to her hip, whether she wanted him to or not. Their routine was simple and nearly everyone in the village knew it. It wouldn't be difficult to locate the two young Na'vi even if they were sought after. Ao'nung would sit beside Y/n every afternoon, on the rock where she kept watch over her siblings as they played in the water. The reef boy never complained about never being able to join in on the fun. Other people did plenty of that for him, however. The boys that had bullied Kiri, the ones Ao'nung had dropped, thought they would be doing him a favor by antagonizing Y/n when they swam by on their ilu one day, ready to go for a hunt. Wanting Ao'nung to come with them, they jokingly asked Y/n if they could borrow her shadow for the afternoon, promising to bring him back in one piece. When that didn't draw the reaction they wanted out of her, the jerks tried other methods such as manipulation, telling her that she didn't need Ao'nung and that he was his own person and doesn't need to be bored all day long for her sake.

Ao'nung snapped, the waves crashing against the rock cliff and breaking it down. He shouted at his former friends and told them some very unsavory things about their mothers and, if he were olo'eyktan, how he would punish them for their dishonorable behavior. For now, that appeared to scare those assholes away, but Ao'nung was certain they would go crying to their mothers, who would then proceed to tell his mother. That night, Ao'nung had prepared himself to go home and receive the brewing storm that was Ronal, who expectedly lectured him about how a chief's son properly acts.

It was worth it in his eyes if the way Neytiri looked at him had anything to say about it. The Sully mother was intimidating, to be sure, but when she looked at Ao'nung, he wasn't entirely frightened. She stared at him as if she was calculating, observing, anything but trying to find ways to kill him in his sleep. Tsireya was unable to sleep one night and told her brother how horrifying it was to watch Neytiri slip into some kind of wild animal the day Neteyam died, and at first, Ao'nung couldn't believe it. But he knew she was a protective mother, who would kill for her kids, just from the way she looked at people. Even Ao'nung's father knows better than to look Neytiri te Suli née te Tskaha Mo'at'ite in the eyes.

So Ao'nung continues to sit with Y/n and to fill in the silence, he would tell her about his day or relay a story he once heard or experienced. He wanted to tell her more stories about his Spirit Brother but decided against it. A part of him knew that if he talked about the tulkun, Y/n would be reminded of Payakan, and then she would remember the tragic day when her family lost her brother. He doesn't ask her if this would upset her, but somehow he knew it would. He doesn't really ask her much of anything. It's not like he's assuming what she'll think, it's more like he somehow knows it already. Somehow, he knows her.

He never outright asks her if she's alright or if she needs someone to talk to. Ao'nung wasn't like that. He wasn't his sister who is open and unashamed. He had his own way of asking those questions.

"Do you wanna go to Sänrr Rong?"

At the end of each of his stories or daily briefs, he always asked her the same question. It was his way of asking her if she wanted to get away so she could freely talk about whatever she wanted. He was offering a way out and somehow, she knew it but didn't ever take him up on his offer. Every time he asked her the same question, she gives him the same answer, "No."

"Okay," was always his reply.

~~~~~~~~~

The only time Y/n wasn't looking after her siblings was when she left her siblings to her parents for the evening. After dinner, the Sullys would return home and settle down for the night, and when they returned home, Y/n would grab her bow and leave for a few hours to find time to herself. It wasn't like Jake and Neytiri asked her to watch Lo'ak and the girls, but Y/n did so willingly, without complaint, and would only leave her siblings alone if one or both parents were around to keep them safe.

Neytiri understood that as a teenager, Y/n needed to have time to herself, but not at such a late hour and away from the village, "Y/n, please stay with us. Stay with Mama."

It felt like a constant battle every time Y/n moved to leave the marui but every time, the girl remained victorious and always escaped into the night. Through their grief, Jake and Neytiri lost the will to fight her and granted their eldest daughter more freedom than before. They knew she was grieving in her own way and they needed to let her do so, but as parents who had just lost a child, sometimes it was hard to let them out of their sight.

Y/n needed to be alone. She needed to have her space. She could only listen to her mother tearfully sing Neteyam's songcord for so long. Technically, it was Y/n's song, too. The twins had shared at least the first three beads on their respective cords, signifying the first three milestones of their lives. The first verse and chorus of their songs were the same, only branching out in their separate, unique melodies after the first communion with Eywa. Listening to Neytiri sing the same song that was meant for both Y/n and Neteyam would drive the young girl up the wall, both in anger and sadness, but she couldn't bring herself to tell her mother that. She didn't want to stop her mother's way of grieving for the sake of being comfortable.

Y/n would look away and speak in the smallest voice, "... I can't."

She would leave for a few hours but always came home when she knew her family had settled down to sleep, doing this on purpose so they wouldn't talk to her. Neytiri always stayed awake, however, and therefore Jake stayed awake. To avoid waking their other children, however, they don't lecture Y/n when she got home. They always flashed her disappointed or pitying looks, but otherwise, let her find her own hammock and go to sleep.

Neytiri had tried to be her daughter's shoulder, lending her ear along with her gentle voice, "I was around your age when I lost my sister."

And Jake had tried to be his daughter's rock, placing a firm, comforting hand on the top of her head for reassurance, "And I lost my brother. We know how you feel, sweetheart. We're here when you're ready to talk."

She would only shake her head, "There's nothing to talk about."

~~~~~~~~~

Lo'ak feels guilt and regret for a lot of things. He regrets dragging his siblings into rescuing Payakan when it should have just been him. He regrets forcing Neteyam to help save Spider when he could've done it alone. He regrets not going back for his sisters when he had the chance to do so. He regrets freezing, in shock, and unable to move while his sisters were scared and tied up on the ship. He regrets letting Neteyam take the gun from him... maybe if he had kept it, they would've shot him instead...

Maybe Y/n wouldn't hate him so much then. His big sister barely spoke to anyone, least of all him. Lo'ak can barely get Y/n to look at him much less say a few words. With Kiri and Tuk, it's a little different. The three sisters all seem to communicate without ever vocalizing to one another, a form of communication that Lo'ak greatly resented. It only made him feel more alone, the only brother left... Well, except for Spider. The human boy is older than Lo'ak but doesn't act like it, the complete opposite of Neteyam in that aspect, along with physicality. Lo'ak appreciated Spider in many ways and does see him as a brother, but not an older brother. Not someone he could look up to.

Which is why he couldn't stand Y/n hating him any longer. One night, after she slipped away to be alone with her bow in hand, Lo'ak pleaded with his parents to let him go after her. He never vocally asked, instead using those big eyes and droopy ears to his advantage. Jake only looked away while Neytiri gave in, softly telling her last remaining son, "Go bring back your sister."

He ran after her, being sure to let her know he was following her with loud footsteps so as not to scare her. After all, he's seen her archery skills before. He knows his sister doesn't miss. Y/n didn't appear bothered by her little brother tagging along, the two running through the forest together until they came across the rookery in which their family's ikran had found their homes. It was a clearing of trees with a waterfall leading up to small cliffs of rock and bits of floating boulders. They weren't mountains and it wasn't as impressive as the rookery back home, but it did its purpose to housing the banshees. Y/n strung her bow over her shoulder and climbed up with Lo'ak close behind. They climbed to the very top of the waterfall where they were greeted by the ikran.

Y/n moved to greet Evi, trailing her hand down the strong neck of her dear friend as Lo'ak climbed over the ledge. For a moment, the siblings remain quiet as Lo'ak greets his ikran, a pissy beast who has been feeling neglected as of late. While Lo'ak provides him with treats to make up for it, the words come tumbling out of his mouth.

"Please don't be mad at me anymore."

Y/n's head tilts, curious, before turning to face her brother. Lo'ak couldn't bring himself to look back at her as she finally spoke to him, "Why would I be mad at you?"

He winced at the sound of her voice. It was different. After she had screamed her lungs out that fateful day, she hadn't spoken very much since. Either it was still the same voice and Lo'ak just hadn't heard it in a while, or it had changed, making the guilt continue to eat him from the inside out. His hands shook whilst he stared down at them, his blurring vision reminding him of the blood he had been forced to scrub off once upon a time, "Because it was my fault. My... fault..."

Y/n's ears drop, her tail lowering in distress. Her heart clenched painfully as she took a step toward her brother, "No. No, Lo'ak--"

"He's dead because of me." He blurted out.

"That's not true--"

"And I never got to... I should've said..."

She finally reached Lo'ak and pulled him by the shoulder, forcing him to turn and stand directly in front of her. Both of Y/n's hands squeeze his shoulders comfortably, gently whispering to him as if they were sharing a secret, "Tell me."

The tears were beginning to fall, and Lo'ak didn't have the strength to stop them, "The last thing I told him before everything went to shit... I said that Payakan was my brother and he needed my help. I told my own brother to his face that someone else mattered more to me than him! That he wasn't my brother--"

Y/n's face was not free of tears this time, her heart breaking all over but not just for Neteyam. Her heart broke for Lo'ak, too, her baby brother who thinks he screws up everything he touches and blames himself for everything that's happened to their family. Y/n reached up for that stray braid Lo'ak keeps free from his hair band, running her thumb over one of the beads Tuk had gifted him as she spoke, "You didn't mean it, Lo'ak. I know it, and 'Teyam did, too."

His entire body shook, and eventually, she coached him into leaning into her for support. It was by no means a hug. Lately, Lo'ak had been acting too grown up for that sort of thing, but Y/n will take whatever she can get. He leans his forehead on her shoulder and cries, shaking like a newborn pa'li while her arms envelop him, despite how he kept his arms to his sides.

They weren't out of the woods yet. Their family still had a long way to go before they feel as though they will survive this pain. But at least it was a start.

~~~~~~~~~

After realizing that her silence was making her siblings believe she hated them, Y/n tries to do better after her talk with Lo'ak. Speaking normally would be difficult for her and for the majority of the time it was uncomfortable, but she was eventually starting to work herself up to feeling somewhat normal again, starting with her sarcasm.

Slowly, day by day, her sarcasm returned, and she even made a sarcastic comment that got Spider to laugh. Ao'nung was there as well, wanting to feel at least relieved that Y/n was slowly coming back, but something stopped him from doing so. It was the way Spider laughed that made his skin prick uncomfortably. He didn't like the sky demon boy, that was clear to see. Even though Tsireya and even his parents warmed up to Spider, Ao'nung was not an easy feat. He had taken a while to accept Na'vi and demon hybrids, so trying to accept an actual Sky Person would be even more difficult, maybe even impossible as Ao'nung watched how Y/n and Spider would interact.

Anger often flared up in his chest whenever he saw the two together. Spider was always beaming a bright smile up at Y/n behind his strange little glass bubble of air, talking adamantly to her even when she wasn't in a talking mood. What bothered Ao'nung, even more, was the fact that Y/n didn't seem to mind Spider's presence. In fact, she gladly welcomed it. What was once red flaring up in Ao'nung's eyes was now green with envy, and the green wasn't a good look on him. His hands began to twitch whenever Spider was in the vicinity, or whenever the human was around Y/n. Ao'nung needed to do something with his hands, and unfortunately, when he finally lashed out, it was a mess.

Y/n came running to the sound of yelps and grunts of pain, someone snarling and hissing along with the familiar sound of fists being thrown. It was like being sent back in time, watching Lo'ak and Ao'nung fight in the sand. The forest girl easily broke the fight up and looked around with annoyance in her eyes while staring down at her brother and her friend.

"What's going on?"

"Ao'nung hit Spider!" Lo'ak spat out.

She took a moment to find Spider's gaze, the teenaged human looking a little frightened but otherwise unharmed. He was clutching his mask tightly around his face, however, so Y/n put the puzzle pieces together to realize what had happened. She examines Spider and his mask first, poking around at the oxygen tank attached to it before turning to the reef boy responsible, "Ao'nung?"

Ao'nung was sporting another bruise on his face along with blood on his lips. His ears darkened a shade, but otherwise stood his ground as he mumbled, "He said he knows what's best for you."

"What?" Lo'ak hissed, scandalized, "Bro, he didn't say that!"

Y/n held a hand out to Lo'ak and he quieted down. When her eyes found Spider, he knew that it was his turn to explain, "I only said I've known you a long time, Y/n, I swear."

She nods and turns back to the Metkayina, "Ao'nung. Did he really say that word for word?"

Ao'nung wished he could remember exactly what had been said before the fight, but it was all a blur. His memory was easily blinded by rage, and he could only remember bits and pieces of his conversation with Lo'ak as they fished on the shore before Spider had shown up. All the same, he realized that what he thought had happened wasn't exactly true, regardless of what he remembered, "... No."

Her expression was blank, a stone wall that has become her natural reaction to everything now, "So you assumed."

"... Yes."

She nods, side-eyeing the reef boy with a look of disappointment. It was cold and impassive, much like how she used to look at him before they became friends, and that honestly terrified him. She tilted her chin back in the direction of the village, "Ao'nung. Go cool off. And for the time being, leave me and my brothers alone."

Brothers. One word and Ao'nung quickly realized how blind he had been, how foolish he looked. As Lo'ak and Spider left, he watched the way Y/n gently held the back of Spider's head when the human teenager walked past her. It was like a splash of cold water ran down Ao'nung's back, the ghost of Neteyam's memory following Y/n's simple movements and love language toward her siblings, alien and Na'vi alike. She spared one last glance at Ao'nung before she, too, walked away. Ao'nung growled to himself, wishing he had something else to hit to release that foolish energy. Of course, Spider was her brother. It was foolish of Ao'nung to assume otherwise after everything the Sully children had been through. Tsireya had been the one to tell her brother about Spider even when he didn't want to know. She told him how Spider grew up alongside the Sully kids, how they used to play together all the time and learned how to hunt together as they got older. Even though Spider wasn't able to ride an ikran or finish his Iknimaya without the means of contacting Eywa with a kuru, his fellow Na'vi friends still treated him like one of their own and included him in everything, against their mother's wishes. Ao'nung heard about the events that happened on the demon ship, how Neteyam saved Tsireya, Tuk, and Lo'ak, but stayed behind with his brother to save Spider. It was clear to everyone how much Spider meant to the Sullys, enough to risk their own lives for him, which is why everyone except Ao'nung got the message to leave him alone.

He went home and it didn't take long before word spread -yet again- and Jake Sully informed Ao'nung's parents about what happened. The olo'eyktan and tsahik were furious with their son, lecturing him about his behavior and why what he did was wrong, "Toruk Makto recognizes the demon boy as his own. The Sully family has adopted him as their son and brother. Despite your differences, you must learn to respect him as you should respect the Sullys."

They make him go apologize, but they didn't have to. Ao'nung wasn't going to fight them to defend his wrongdoings. He accepted his punishment and went to find Spider the next morning after everyone had time to cool off. Spider was happily climbing the atoll walls leading out to the open ocean while Lo'ak, Y/n, and some of the older reef kids went hunting. As Ao'nung's punishment, he wasn't allowed to hunt for a few weeks, so he was able to catch the human boy alone without anyone around, which is how Ao'nung preferred to apologize in his walk of shame.

Ao'nung settled into a crouching position beside Spider after the human teen took a break, sitting on the very top of the sea wall. Ao'nung couldn't afford to look at him as he apologized, "Sorry I hit you."

Spider only shrugged, leaning his weight on both hands bracing him from behind, "All good, man."

Ao'nung whipped his head up in the sky demon's direction, confused as he reiterated, "It's not all good. Y/n is still mad at me."

Which was true. Y/n was openly avoiding Ao'nung at dinner the night before and that morning. Once upon a time, Ao'nung was her shadow, but today, she refused to accept one. Spider shifted uncomfortably, staring down at his swinging feet that dangled off the edge of the wall, "Yeah, well... She's mad at you because she was picturing what could've happened. I mean, technically you could've killed me if you hit my mask just right."

Ao'nung's spine stiffens, "What?"

"My mask? Ya know, the thing that helps me breathe?" Spider stares at Ao'nung curiously while tapping the glass of his exo pack. When Ao'nung only stares back with a conflicted expression, he explains his question, "Sky People can't breathe this air without help. That's what these are for."

It was like a splash of cold water was running down his back as Ao'nung berates himself under his breath, "Kalweyaveng. I didn't know. You and Y/n must think I'm some sort of monster--"

"You didn't know, cuz. As for Y/n, she likely realizes that, too. You just scared her is all. She's scared of losing another big brother."

Ao'nung couldn't help the smirk on his face as he peered back over to the other boy, "Big?"

"Shut up. Not what I meant." The boy rolled his eyes, "I'm still older."

That was news to Ao'nung, and the thought of Neteyam sobered him up, "I didn't know."

"That's fair," it's not like it was obvious, given the size difference and separate species. Spider has been misinterpreted as the youngest of the group for a while. It doesn't help that Little Tuk is catching up to him at just seven years old. He tries not to let it bother him, but he could see why Ao'nung felt like shit messing around with him if all he saw was a demon baby, "It was a mistake and Y/n knows that. She just needs to cool off a bit."

Ao'nung tries not to feel hopeful at Spider's words, so he tries not to talk about it and ask questions. It's what his sister would do, and he was trying to be friendly, "So what happens if your mask breaks?"

"I have friends in the Omatikaya clan who might fly out here soon to give me spares."

"Do you plan on staying then?"

"Yeah..." Spider's sudden nonchalant attitude melted into nerves, cautiously watching the reef boy out of the corner of his eye, "That okay?"

"Yeah." Ao'nung doesn't think before answering, but he doesn't regret it and it feels as though a calm wave is blanketed over him, extinguishing whatever ugly emotions he held toward the human boy before, "I think so."

Spider grinned, "Cool."

~~~~~~~~~

Kiri offered to bring Y/n and Tuk with her when Tsireya and Ronal invited her for tsahik training. Kiri was obviously missing that part of her life and was excited to go, therefore Tuk was excited, too. Y/n... not so much, but not that she would show it. She just smiled and told her sisters to have fun. The girls left around the same Lo'ak went out hunting with Ao'nung and Rotxo. With her parents also out of the hut for their daily routines, that left Y/n with Spider, and the two of them decide to stay indoors and weave a few baskets. Spider also wanted to add a couple of beads to his songcord, so Y/n helped him out with it. They worked in silence and Y/n took note of the beads Spider was adding to the cord. She had a feeling what they signified but didn't have the heart to ask. Likely, they were to represent the loss of Neteyam and Spider's adoption into the family.

The thought made her throat swell and she was forced to cough in her arm. Y/n had yet to add to her songcord since her brother's death. She had plenty of other moments of her life she could add, like joining the Metkayina clan, but she knew, eventually, she'd have to add a bead for Neteyam and a bead for Spider. She already had some options picked out, like a bead she had taken from Neteyam's braid before his funeral. As for Spider, she was juggling between finding a shell or a rock in the area where the battle with the Sky People took place as a way of his returning to the family.

While her storming thoughts were brewing, Spider had a few thoughts of his own that he wanted to openly share, "You don't have to avoid your friend for my sake, ya know."

Her eyebrows scrunch as she bore a pouting frown when she peered up at him from her work on his songcord, "Your sake?"

"I don't think he meant any harm."

"Harm? I don't think you would be saying this if you knew how he treated Kiri when we first got here."

Spider paused, squinting his eyes in confusion, "But... doesn't Kiri like him? I thought she told me he's actually nice."

"Perhaps that was Kiri just being nice," Y/n rolled her eyes.

"He seems nice to Tuk."

"That's different. It's Tuk."

"Aside from when Ao'nung hit me, he and Lo'ak get along."

"Just because he's nice to us doesn't mean he can go around and be cruel to you."

"He was being protective of you, Y/n. In his eyes, I'm just an alien who thinks they know you but not really."

"He hit you."

Spider shrugged, albeit a little bashful, "Yeah, but I'm okay."

Y/n didn't think any of this was 'okay' and it frustrated her to think Spider didn't feel the same. He always brushed things off like they didn't matter-- like he didn't matter. Kiri was always bothered by it and Y/n wished she had stood up for Spider the way her sister did their whole lives. Y/n wanted to blame herself, but a resenting part of her knew the blame was her mother's. Neytiri had always been so cold toward the human boy, even when he was so young and innocent. And yet, he never said a bad thing about her and always respected her wishes. Even if he only did so to make sure he could continue to hang out with the kids, he still respected her far more than she respected him.

Y/n loved, respected, and even admired her mother, but sometimes, the child doesn't wish to be like their parent. Y/n reached over and grasped Spider's shoulder, "What if he broke your mask? What would have happened then? You don't have a spare, Spider. You could've died."

"But I'm okay. See? I'm fine."

"But what if--"

"No more 'what ifs.' It didn't happen, Y/n," he reached out and grabbed her shoulder as well, smiling softly, "So just leave it be. Ao'nung didn't know better, and he clearly feels terrible for what he did. If you're worried that you'll offend me if you forgive him, don't be."

Y/n looked away, still appearing unsure of his words, so Spider continued, "Did he tell you he apologized?"

She peered up, eyes wide as she subtly shook her head. Spider huffed a small laugh, "I guess he wouldn't have been able to, seeing as you've been avoiding him."

Her ears droop in shame, looking back down at her fingers while they fuss with Spider's songcord. Spider settled back down beside her to help, but realistically he's never been good at the crafting part of jewelry, "He feels guilty and even called himself a monster. I said I forgave him, but he still feels ashamed because you're still mad at him. He actually seems like a pretty cool dude and he really respects you. Just give him a chance?"

~~~~~~~~~

It was like earning the trust of a stray cat. Jake personally hasn't seen one in a while, but watching the way Ao'nung tried gaining his daughter's trust again, he was reminded of stray cats back on Earth. Jake faintly remembers an old lady who used to live across the street from his shitty apartment. She would leave out food for the strays and over time, would gain their trust and they would let her pet them or take them into her home.

Watching this was no different. The Sully family was interacting at the communal meal that night, among the villagers. Jake and Neytiri stayed close along with Tuk, the young girl was tired and slowly falling asleep in her mother's arms after playing all day. Jake had kept a tally of where each of his teenagers was currently at, and thankfully he didn't have to look very far for each of them. For the most part, they had stayed close together. Lo'ak, Spider, and Kiri have huddled around with Tsireya and Rotxo, laughing and occasionally tossing food at one another, using their own plates made from tree bark as shields from the onslaught. Y/n was sitting next to the group of teens but was far enough away so she wasn't involved in the food fight. She silently sat alone, picking at her food. Jake didn't miss the way she'd politely wave someone away if they tried sitting next to her. She was purposely keeping that spot open and her father didn't know for who until he had spotted Ao'nung out of the corner of his eye.

The chief's son definitely looked forlorn, keeping to himself with his plate full to the brim of food in hand. Ao'nung was keeping an eye on Y/n the whole time he slowly made his way around crowds to reach her. He would pause every time she looked his way, wait as she analyzed him, then continue slowly approaching her when she looked down at her food. She clearly knew where he was at all times and Ao'nung was intentionally letting her know, like he was afraid of spooking her. Eventually, he was close enough to be standing over her as she ate but Y/n made no sign of acknowledging him, despite the fact she knew he was there when Jake watched her tail gently thump against Ao'nung's leg. The boy clearly took that as a good sign and slowly sat down in the empty spot Y/n had left open for him. He crossed his legs, being sure not to touch and to give her some space. There was a beat of silence between them, both teens looking in opposite directions of each other before Ao'nung subtly slid his plate of food closer to Y/n.

An offering was made, and Y/n clocked the food with her eyes before she slowly glance back to Ao'nung. To Jake's amazement, he watched the way her lips slowly curled into a timid, shy smile, as if testing some boundary. Ao'nung gladly smiled back, and the two teens began to melt and fall into a small conversation as they ate together, sharing food and catching up like old friends.

Jake couldn't help but feel somewhat troubled by this, tapping his wife's elbow to get her attention, "I thought we would have to worry about that boy mistreating the kids."

Neytiri followed his gaze and watched Ao'nung and Y/n for a moment before returning her eyes to Jake, confused, "Yes?"

"Now I think we're gonna have to worry about him being too nice to Y/n."

A/N: So now that I'm writing more chapters than I originally thought (that's a good thing 'cause I have so many ideas for this series) I have made an 'anla series masterlist!

Neytiri's eyes widen at the dawning realization before smiling brightly, a look her mate had not seen in quite some time as she fondly cooed at him, "Oh, Ma Jake."

Thanks again for 200 followers! Part 5 is already in the works and I'll release the date soon 💖

[blue-slxt]

Kinkmas 5

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: Sorry this one is so short, but my brain was literal mashed potatoes when I was trying to write this one. Maybe a part 2 later down the line to make up for it? All characters are aged up!

Kinkmas Masterlist

Pairing: Ao'nung x Fem!Sully!Reader

Warnings: Kinda Grinding?, Ao'nung trying to cop a feel, Kinda perv!Ao'nung

Out of all the different reef clans, your family just had to come to the one where the chief’s son was a complete ass. Ao’nung got under your skin like no other. He could be absolutely insufferable. It definitely didn’t help that he was always fighting with your brothers. It was beyond irking. 

Since he and Tsireya were assigned to help you all learn the way of their people, you were essentially stuck with him. Tsireya took the lead with your brothers since there wasn’t that underlying animosity with them. Kiri was already a natural and didn’t need a lot of instruction and Tuk was being taught by Rotxo. So that left you alone with Ao’nung more often. 

“Just copy what I do” he says swinging his leg up and hoisting himself up onto the ilu. You copy his actions perfectly and swing yourself up onto the back of the ilu in front of him. 

“Not bad. About time you started catching on.” he says with his usual cocky tone. 

“Whatever. What’s next?” you say unintentionally leaning back and he sucks in a small breath when your ass brushes against his covered cock. 

Ao’nung takes a moment to steady his breath before he continues. “Now, you make the bond. Gently.” He slowly leans forward to grab the ilu’s neural queue. It’s impossible for him to not think about how soft you feel against his front. And with him leaning over you this way,  he has the perfect view of your chest and your slightly perked nipples. Shit, he needs to hold it together before his stiff length gave him away. 

He hands you the kuru and you connect it gently with your own. A deep sigh leaves your lips and you let your own body sync with the creature under you. Ao’nung rests his hands on your hips, almost absentmindedly. It’s not long enough for him to be too obvious, but it is long enough for him to feel the soft give of your skin under his fingers. His breath stutters in his chest for a moment and he tries to cover it with a clearing of his throat.

Before he completely loses his mind, he wills himself to hop off the ilu and hide his very obvious boner under the waist-high water. 

“Now, ride.”

Taglist: @minnory @sussybaka10 @celess0 @funkyflamingo01 @itchaboi-itchyboy @loaksulluyswife @myloveforyouisforever @neteyams-wh0re @the-mourning-moon @wakanda-forever-andotherfandoms @zafrinaxyz @neteyamsyawntu @pandoraslxna @xylianasblog @hotdsworld @teyamsatan @sulieykte @neteyamsoare @neteyamswillow @cryinginthemoonpool @plooto @eywaite @quaritchsluts @jakexneytiri @luvv4j4ybe11 @eywascall

[cofay]

You know me like no other…

♡ CUPIDS ARROW ⤑

Part1….Part 2…Part 3…

You were Cupid you make people fall in love with one other y’know? Just spreading love all around. Well you didn’t exactly like your job. In fact you dreaded having to do this forever, for the rest of your life. Instead you longed for something else.

Something better.

You yearned for your own happiness with a lucky guy.

But sadly you had responsibilities, and the god’s weren’t going to let you tear it down just to feel something stupid mortals feel.

It was a normal day you were following people and with just a look you could make them fall in love with each other. You were in the elevator with a women standing closely behind her you were dressed from head to toe in black, as you waited a man walked in the elevator and with just one looked you walked out as they kissed behind you.

Grueling…Boring…Uneventful…and yearning that’s all you felt you were jealous. Jealous of the mortals, jealous of their lives every single one of them. As you walked outside you sat at a small table right outside of a coffee shop.

The thing is nobody can see you

Absolutely nobody

That’s the problem after every person you just end up wishing you could be them falling in love, having family’s, getting married…you sigh as a person walks past you, quickly you get up and grab an umbrella and walking behind her

It didn’t take long until the rain started to pour down and as if on queue a random guy showed up and you did what you always did made them fall in love as they turned away walking hand in hand under the umbrella together you turn the opposite way following someone else

They walked into a museum it was crowded as you look up you see the huge magnificent painting.

The creation of Adam.

It was the best painting you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Well until you saw him. Izuku Midoriya, you’ve only seen him a couple times I mean nobody gets to make someone with a name as big as him fall in love and it seemed like he wouldn’t anytime soon with being the number one hero.

You watched as people left one by one. But he stayed and just admired the painting while you on the other hand admired him. He was beautiful, from his fluffy green hair…his freckles….his bright green eyes. He was perfect.

Just the guy you imagined you would

Fall in love with….gosh how you wanted him to hold you.

As he started to walk away and to the elevator you followed him closely behind, you stood behind the curly head watching him intently, a women walked in and usually you would have…well done what you were supposed to do but you couldn’t…even if you tried.

You kept looking at him following him even as he walked out following him into the bus you sat in the seat right next to him leaning in closer as you analyzed his features. But atlas good things come to an end.

You watched him walk out the bus knowing you most likely wouldn’t be able to follow him anymore..you walk out the train watching him walk away almost wanting no wishing for him to see you, to touch you, you listen to you, to be with you.

You looked up catching the eye of the five Erotes or your helpers, you’ve never seen them work before but you know if they caught wind of what you were thinking of doing they would snitch right to the gods.

And most likely you didn’t want that to happen you can’t let that happen so you followed a random person and did what you always do.

Give them what you wanted.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

It was a late night and you couldn’t stop yourself anymore you snuck into Izuku’s penthouse coming in through the window stepping softly on the floor…you tip toed through the halls softly finding his room rather quickly.

You cracked opened the door and then you saw his sleeping body you went next to him brushing a small curl out his face taking in all you can, you climb onto the bed over top of him hovering over his face.

You didn’t stop yourself you knew it was wrong but you still just wanted to see..just this once, you lifted your hand softly grazing his cheek it felt so soft you soon lifting your hands up into his hair running your fingers through his kinky curls and watching them bounce back to normal.

Everything felt so real like..in a certain way well until you turned your head to the mirror..as you looked into the mirror your reflection was nowhere to be seen.

Making your face turn sour you turned your head to the window seeing the erotes once more you frowned getting off of him and leaving his house all together.

You walked the empty streets looking around watching the trees blow slowly in the cold wind looking up into the starlight sky and the flickering street lights shining towards the wet damp ground.

Oh how you just wanted to change everything.

You wanted things to be different

So bad.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

[arazialotis]

Get Him to the Con - Part 6

Pairing: Jensen × Reader

Word Count: About 7600

Summary: The reader stumbles into Jensen at her favorite bar, a very drunk Jensen. She soon realizes Jensen was booked for a con this weekend and has to be eight hours from town in only two.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Warnings: Language, Mutual Pining, A very mild jalapeno pepper in the beginning

Although this is an RPF, it is a character I created and should not reflect back IRL. I intend no hate or ill wishes to him or his family. This is purely just for writing and wasting my time as coping skill. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions!

-----

Sunlight filtered into the room through sheer curtains blowing in the gentle breeze. Birds chirped outside, greeting the day with a chorus of melodies. A peaceful sigh brushed the back of your neck. An arm wrapped around you, holding you close to the solid form behind you. A hand bordered on the edge of your shirt that must have ridden up during the night. Another grazed the back of your bare thigh, and another pressed hard against your ass. A soft moan escaped past your lips as you pressed further into it. You would have been content to stay here forever. Wait! Your eyes shot wide open. That was one too many hands.

You jolted from bed, now fully awake. Jensen grumbled but rolled over to the other side, not ready yet to face the day. Thankfully, it gave you enough time to get your shit together. Where were your pajama bottoms? You were a notorious chronic stripper. Always starting the night off with too many layers because you were cold, but as you started to warm up, thus commenced the unconscious removal of layers. It didn’t help that Jensen was hot. Like, temperature-wise. The guy was a fucking furnace. You weren’t concerned last night about it because you thought you’d be too anxious to sleep at all. Turns out you were so very wrong. Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed.

Jensen sniffed, and the sheets rustled as he turned onto his back. The bedding became tented near the area you had believed was his third hand. Change of plans. You abandoned looking for your missing pajamas and opted for jeans and a sweatshirt. After a quick trip to the bathroom, you left on a mission to find breakfast and coffee, sure Jensen would appreciate the privacy to tackle the obvious, albeit impressive, situation on his own.

The town was bigger than Lebanon, but not by much. At least it was walkable. The downtown had one restaurant but didn’t open until eleven. Traffic was busy on the main stretch of the road, filled with trucks, semis, and livestock trailers. Tires squelched through puddles and mud. Across the way, loud mariachi music called travelers to a pop-up tent where there was a line of hungry patrons waiting. An intoxicating aroma of spices broke through the smell of cattle. You eagerly went to join the queue.

Forty minutes of walking, waiting in line, and waiting for food seemed like an appropriate amount of time to give Jensen. On the way back, to Anthony’s credit, you did peek into one of the empty rooms, which was completely stripped of wallpaper, carpet, and wood paneling. The furniture was pushed to one corner and covered with a plastic tarp. You knocked on your motel door. Jensen answered, having changed into black jeans and a Family Business t-shirt tie-dyed with bleach. His hair looked so soft, still free of product. It was the most unkempt you’d seen him, yet you craved to see more of his natural state. How he would appear on a lazy Saturday morning with no one to impress.

It was another morning with more uncertainty of how to start the day, of what to say, of what to address. Both of you stood there frozen in time, staring at each other. Though the storm had broke last night, a new one began to brew in the spaces between. There was a need to feel clouds clash against each other, to feel the shake of thunder, to watch lightning flash in each other’s eyes. It wasn’t only you who felt the flush of heat; Jensen’s cheeks visibly reddened, lost in the memory of a dream, wishing it had been reality. At any moment, the clouds would break, and the floodgates would release. Thankfully, you had the perfect solution.

“Breakfast burrito?” You held up the heavy paper bag as a barrier between the two of you. “I didn’t know what kind you would want, so I got one of each. There’s eggs and potatoes, eggs and chorizo, veggies…”

---

Jensen had taken the entire leg of the journey yesterday, so you insisted on starting the drive today. You rushed through, getting ready and eating breakfast, eager to leave the creepy motel behind. There was a minor traffic jam on 36, but it lasted only twenty minutes, and you were flying down the road once more.

Jensen finished his last sip of coffee. “Didn’t we listen to Led Zeppelin all of Thursday?”

You gasped. “This is Greta Van Fleet, you uncultured swine.”

It took him a second, but he got there. “Did you just insult me with a line from Toy Story?”

“It’s a good line.” You defended, “Why reinvent the wheel?”

“Uncultured,” He scoffed. “I’m not the one listening to a cheap knock-off.”

You continued the playful banter. “You sound exactly like all those cake-eaters on Reddit whose only knowledge of musical theory stemmed from listening to Entry of the Gladiators too many times at clown school. I enjoy it so I’m going to listen to it. Fuck the pretentious haters.”

Jensen chuckled silently, shaking his shoulders. “You’ve been holding that in for a while.”

You nodded your confirmation.

“Entry of the Gladiators?” He asked for clarification.

You used a series of “da da das” to sound out the melody of the iconic circus theme music.

“Ah, of course,” He recognized it not even halfway into the first stanza. “Who wouldn’t know that had a title other than ‘circus music?’ Clown school,” He chuckled again. “I’m going have to steal that line for future use.”

“It’s going to cost ya.” You warned.

“What’s the price?” He questioned.

You took your eyes off the road, studying his face. His finger was brushing against his lower lip as if offering them up freely as compensation. A wave of anticipation coursed throughout your body, landing in your toes. As you leaned closer, testing if he would meet you, you chickened out instead and adjusted the volume before focusing back on the road.

“The price is your admission that this is actually a decent song and that you’re somewhat intrigued.” You settled.

Jensen had not yet pulled away from leaning in. “Oh, I’m intrigued, alright.” He admitted but was talking about an entirely unrelated matter.

It was not even two hours once you hit the Colorado border, but this entire trip had felt like a lifetime of trying to reach an unknown destination that was finally in sight. The wooden sign read ‘Welcome to Colorful Colorado.’ The car slowed to a stop on the road’s shoulder.

“Come on,” Jensen complained. “We’ve already taken a hundred pictures this trip.”

But you were already halfway out of the car, bounding into the tall grass and wildflowers to get closer to the sign. “We’ve taken three!”

“Be careful!” He warned. “You’re going to get bit by a rattlesnake or infested with ticks.”

“Well then, you better come over here and protect me. I'm sure a big, strong Texan such as yourself ain't afraid of no rattlesnake."

The grass swished against his calves as he came closer.

“As for the ticks,” You continued, bravery rising up. “We’ll have to turn on some country music and see what Brad Paisley advises for those.”

He raised his arm above his head, leaned against the wooden post, and looked down at you. The intensity of his gaze normally would have made you turn and run or, at the very least, create a distraction to diffuse the tension. Instead, you stepped closer, a whisper away from him. The sun shone through the gap between.

Gravel and tires met as another car slowed, pulling off the road behind yours. Three girls piled out of the car, laughing and squealing at each other. Fuck. You stepped away from him.

“Hey,” One of the girls called. “We’ll take your photo if you take ours!”

“So it begins,” Jensen mumbled under his breath.

You didn’t understand why until they stepped closer. You raised your hand to shield the sun from your eyes. One girl was dressed in a plaid flannel shirt over a black tank, the anti-possession tattooed on their chest, one in a shirt that had the side profile of the Impala that read ‘The Winchester Brothers’ like it was an advertisement, the third’s shirt was just Jensen’s face everywhere in the style of a 90’s album cover.

The shock of realization crossed their faces slowly and then all at once.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” One repeated over and over while simultaneously hitting her friend’s shoulder.

The one subject to the abuse just stood there, mouth hanging open as if her brain was having trouble computing the reality of the event. The third gulped, wide-eyed, and turned a hundred and eighty degrees walking back to the car.

You snickered and whispered to Jensen, “Fight, flight, freeze.”

He snorted but then recomposed himself, calling over to them. “Y’all don’t happen to be traveling to Denver for a certain convention now, are ya?”

“Oh my god,” The fighter repeated again. “I told you it was going to be worth it.” She pulled the fleeing friend by her collar back to the group. “I told you!” She then directed to Jensen, “We’re huge fans of the show.”

“Yeah?” He chuckled as if the shirts didn't give it away.

The frozen one thawed. “Were you in Lebanon, like literally yesterday!?!”

“Sure was.” He said. “Did you see my note?”

Two of them squealed while the other said, “We must have been like an hour or two behind you.”

“Well, we are all here now. Should we get a picture or something?” He suggested.

“Oh my gosh! Yes, Please!” The one in the Impala shirt gushed.

You offered to take the photo, and as you were receiving instructions, one of them asked you, “So, are you like his… cousin? Assistant?”

Jensen was yacking it up with the other two girls. You looked him up and down, not sure what to define it as. Caught somewhere in between. Wondering if it would cement into something more. But then it hit you. This road trip was almost over. You were leaving him by the end of the day. You’d go back to your life and he to his. Who knew the next time you’d be able to see each other, let alone work on a relationship? If that’s even what he wanted. Was it what you wanted? Honestly, the guy might be looking for a quick fling. Again, was that something you wanted? Jensen felt your gaze and met it; his lips pressed together. Your brain spun from overthinking.

“Friends,” You sputtered out. “We’re just friends.”

Relief radiated from the girl, but you were more focused on Jensen, wondering if that sigh was a hint of disappointment. But god dammit! If he wanted something more, he was going to have to be the one to bring it up! Several pictures later of the group and singles, Jensen realized he needed to take control of the situation, or he’d never leave.

“Alright, alright.” He attempted to settle them. “I didn’t do my hair today, but one of those has to be decent, and there’s a dinner I gotta catch tonight.” He looked at his watch to sell that he was running behind.

They thanked him profusely, trying to draw out the moment as much as possible.

“Actually, can you get one real quick of me and… my friend… before we head out.” He asked.

Oooh. Was that as intentionally backhanded as it felt?

“Get over here.” He impatiently waved you over. “Wait, actually, do you have your phone? I think I left mine in the car.”

You nodded and handed it over to one of the girls, knowing fully well that his phone was in his back pocket; he just had the common sense not to hand his phone over to random fans. (Unless he was very drunk per your first encounter). Although you had been the initial one to want a photo, now that you had an audience, you didn’t know how to act. One of the girls had her phone out as well, possibly recording the interaction. You stood next to his side with your body angled towards him as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. The girl with your phone counted down before snapping a pic.

“No, no, no.” Jensen complained and reset. “This feels too photo op-y.” He adjusted his jeans as he squatted down. “Hop up.”

“What? Jensen!” You protested.

“Don’t ‘What, Jensen’ me.” He argued. “You did it yesterday, and it was cute, and I’d like a picture.” He tried to encourage you with the wave of his hand. “Oh, don’t get all shy on me now. One way or another, I’m getting you in the air for a picture, whether willingly or over the shoulder with just your ass in the frame, which I wouldn’t complain….”

“Fine, fine.” You chuckled as you gave in to his demand.

His knees popped as he lifted you quickly, and you bounced in the air.

“Gentle,” You scolded. “I’m not paying for your knee replacement surgery.”

“Smart ass.” He bit his lower lip and pinched the underside of your thigh.

You shrieked with laughter, and Jensen turned to look up at you.

“Oh, that is adorable.” The girl called, taking a few candid shots.

“Just friends?” Another mumbled though the two of you were not privy to the conversation.

The third agreed. “How much you wanna bet he’s going to make an announcement tomorrow he’s off the market?”

“I’m not betting on a hand already lost.”

After several more moments of thanks and prolonging the experience, you finally made to part ways. You and Jensen sat in the rental. As you waited for the girls to take off, Jensen saying something about not wanting to be followed the whole way to Denver, you played with the filters on the photos and sent the best ones to Jensen. He then added the one of him next to the sign in Lebanon to Instagram. Later as he was driving down the freeway, you read the whole thing: If there was one word to describe this year so far, that word would be unexpected. The start was unexpectedly filled with chaos and turmoil, as most of you know, though maybe I should have seen it coming. But these last few months have taught me unexpected isn’t always a bad thing. It can come in the form of unexpected kindness from strangers, unexpected friendships, unexpected journeys, unexpected mysteries, and unexpected healing. All of which has led me spontaneously and unexpectedly back home. Oh, home, let me come home.

Though he had driven all of yesterday and you only had a couple of hours in today, he insisted on seeing you through to Denver. Though he teased you over your deplorable and sometimes downright terrifying driving, you thought it was really because he wanted to reinforce the driver picks the music rule. (You weren’t ‘that’ bad of a driver). It was sole stubbornness that kept him from admitting he liked Greta Van Fleet or confusing them for Zeppelin in the first place. Instead, he went for an indie playlist of his featuring bands like Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros, The Flaming Lips, and Beach House.

The drive continued ever onward, and though Colorado did have some rolling hills, the bare wasteland and fields you had become accustomed to over the past few days drew you to the brink of insanity.

“Hey, Jensen.” You said.

“Yeah?”

“Clouds or Mountains?”

He thought on it for a second. “Clouds.”

Sure enough, he was right.

A half-hour, he prompted you. “Hey, Y/N.”

You only humphed a response.

“Clouds or mountains?”

“Clouds,” you grumbled.

A few minutes later and a new shape emerged on the horizon.

He asked again, “Clouds or mountains.”

You whined again. “Clouds.” And sighed a deep sigh before quoting, “I want to see mountains again. Mountains Gandalf! And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book.”

Jensen chuckled. “I always forget how big of a nerd you are. We should watch those movies together sometime.”

“Yeah, we should!” You concurred. “We can marathon them and have a hobbit day where we follow the meal schedule and everything. Breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon….” You listed off. “Tomatoes, sausages, nice crispy bacon,” You impersonated a few more quotes. “Malt beer, ripe meat of the bone.”

His stomach grumbled. “Ah, man, I'm hungry just thinking about it.”

“How?” You giggled. “You had three breakfast burritos.”

“Two and a half.” He defended.

“Hold on,” You said before unclicking your seatbelt and shuffling to the back. “What do you want?”

His tongue flashed over his bottom lip. After his dreams last night, you were the only snack he was concerned with. God, how he wished he had a few more days. Perhaps canceling on the con so you could keep driving wouldn’t be such a bad idea. You could just keep heading to Vancouver. He’d make it to set on time. Most likely. Okay, if he was able to have his way with you two days late, but it would be so worth it. You reoriented yourself in the front with your stash. “Goldfish, Pringles, and we still have a few pretzels.”

He was going to make his move tonight. He didn’t want to wait any longer. He was ready to take things to the next step. He was glad to have you as a friend, but he wanted more. From the moment you slid in next to him all those months ago at the brewery, he knew he was a fucking goner. Sure, at that time, he was as drunk as Jimmy Buffet in Margaritaville, but that instinct hadn’t lied to him. It held and only grew. It had taken him these past months and this road trip to build up this decision, to finally have the courage to act on it. He just wasn’t quite sure how to initiate it yet.

“Hey,” You called him from his thoughts. “You gotta help me with these. I really only want to take the granola and trail mix up with me to Estes Park.”

His heart immediately sank. Maybe he didn’t understand or hear you right. “Estes Park?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I actually got an unbelievable deal at the Stanley Hotel. You know, Stephen King’s inspiration for The Shining. Like such a good deal, the ghosts may be luring me there. So I may call you in a panic tonight and probably should get some salt on the way up. Oh man, how awesome would it be if you and Jared stayed there and made a little ghost hunter special? But I figured you’d be busy with the con all weekend, and we wouldn’t get to see each other much anyways, so I might as well make the most of being out in Colorado and hike the Rockies while I’m out here.” You rambled.

“Right.” His heart stayed in his stomach, remembering your early conversation about what you told your friends, not realizing it was a partial truth to them. “Cause how else are you going to have your meet-cute with some handsome lumberjack unless you trip over his fallen log?”

He meant it as a joke, but disappointment twisted inside you. So the kiss had been a fluke, and this morning was just a natural reaction. He wasn’t interested. It made sense. More so than what you had thought.

“Exactly.” You said.

Friends. You thought. Just friends, he thought, and his cheeks flushed. Simultaneously, you both swallowed a lump in your throat. The ride from there on was quiet. There was an obvious tension in the air. Not like the storm waiting to break as was before. No, this was more like when your grandfather brought up politics on Thanksgiving. At least you had other rooms to escape to then.

You played on your phone a bit, tried, and failed to read. The motion of the car and focusing on the stationary words was too much for your brain to process. Jensen seemed lost in thought. Like he wanted to say something but never was able to work it out. Maybe if you could tell him how you were feeling. Just let it all out. That you didn’t know how much longer you could handle the ‘just friends’ thing. It was pretty easy when thousands of miles separated you, but being so close together, it was near impossible to deny your emotions. At any moment, they could explode out of you. But you didn’t want to risk it. Didn’t want to make a mistake and lose him altogether.

“Hey, Y/N?” Jensen pulled you from your thoughts.

“Yeah?” You responded hopeful.

“Clouds or mountains?”

It was not what you wanted to hear, but at least some of the tension had lifted. You squinted and took in the hazy purple shape in the distance. After a few moments of analysis, your eyes widened. You softly and repeatedly slapped his shoulder in excitement.

“That’s a fucking mountain bitch!” You squealed in delight.

He laughed boisterously.

“We made it!” You proclaimed.

Jensen slipped into a British accent in an attempt to impersonate David Attenborough. But it came out more gentler, more breathy, and a higher pitch than his usual deep voice.

“After years of endless searching, the pair of travelers laid eyes upon their destination. The high peaks of the mountains are a stark contrast to the flat sea of plains they had battled tirelessly through.”

You melted, and a high whine sounded in the back of your throat. Jensen glanced at you and bit his lower lip as you quickly recomposed yourself. It was such a sweet and delicate noise. He wanted more.

“Little did they realize, the end of the great migration is only the beginning. The female will depart from the male to venture further into the hills, gathering resources for the nest. All the while, the male will be left defenseless against hoards of a terrifying new threat. Fangirls. If either of them survives the next perilous chapter, it will be nothing short of a miracle.”

He was unsuccessful at coaxing another whimper from you, but your giggle was just as pleasurable.

“Oh my god,” You chastised him with a chuckle. “You’ll be fine. You secretly feed off the praise and attention even though you act like a complete grump.”

“And what about you?” He asked. “I know you packed an entire walk-in closet, but do you have bear spray?”

“Bear spray?” You furrowed your brow.

He rolled his eyes at your lack of unpreparedness. “What about water? Do you have a camel pack?”

“I’m sure my water bottle will be just fine.”

He scoffed. “First aid? Gauze if you get a cut or need to make a splint?”

“Jensen,” You stopped him. “I’m going on popular trails part of the National Parks Service. If I run into any trouble, I’m sure there will be plenty of people around to help. If not a handsome lumberjack, perhaps a park ranger.” You added for the spite of it.

He clenched his jaw, trying his hardest to ignore the jab. “No, we are stopping at an Arc’teryx or, or Patagonia or something. Make sure you have all you need.”

Was he panicking? “Jensen,” You said his name again, hoping to ground him. “I have everything I need. I’ll be fine. I’ve hiked before. There lot’s of places back home.”

“But this is, like, the actual mountains.” He continued to argue. “Wild terrain, no cell service, bears, cougars…”

Your laugh cut him off. “I think you should be more worried about cougars this weekend than me.”

"This is serious, Y/N." He groaned.

"I'll be fine. I promise." You affirmed.

"Will you…" He started. He didn't want to be overbearing, and he knew you were fiercely capable and independent, but anxiety was getting the best of him. "Will you just text in the morning and when you make it back, so I know you're okay?"

"I'm sure you'll hardly be able to check your phone, but yes, I'll text you." You agreed.

"And take lots of pictures, so I can live vicariously through you." He added.

“Deal!”

The last leg of the journey remained quiet and calm, Jensen’s indie playlist providing a soft ambiance, even as the skyline grew heavier with angular earth jutting into the heavens. Even as Denver grew from a speck reflection of sunlight to a concrete jungle, neither of you could think of what to say. Your gold necklace glinted in the side view mirror, and the orange sun streaked across your face.

You had arranged with a rental company to come meet you at the hotel where the convention was taking place. That way, Jensen would still have a car, though you figured he may have a driver for the event itself. For the first time in this journey, an active map with actual directions had been pulled up to navigate the way through the city. Though now you were wishing you had encouraged his earlier plan to keep heading west. As the minutes counted down to arrival, your hearts grew evermore tender knowing soon they’d be parted.

Jensen pulled into a roundabout, a fountain in its center flowing into a garden of roses, through the archway leading to the hotel entrance. He put the car in park, but the engine ran idle. Both of you stared directly ahead, not quite believing the trip where time stood still was finally over.

An intrusive vibrating buzzed into the quiet. You looked down at your phone, notifying you the pick-up was here, as a black Malibu drove under the awning next to you.

“That’s my ride.” You said defeated.

Jensen nodded, and as the trunk behind you popped open, his door creaked as he exited the vehicle. You studied the lines in your hands as they lay in your lap, wondering if they held any insight into your fortune. If you could read them, perhaps they could guide you forward. But all you could do was sit with that same feeling as the morning you first left him. The trunk next to you slammed shut, signaling it was time to go. You scrambled out of the car but froze, facing Jensen, trying to discern the look on his face, not knowing it mirrored yours.

“Well…” He bumped his fists together. “This is it.”

“Yeah.” You agreed.

“Be safe.”

You let out a half-hearted laugh. “You too.”

Jensen pounced. It happened so fast your brain couldn’t process it until it had already happened. His lips worked hard against yours as you met his claiming pace. One hand wrapped around your waist, pressing you against his hard frame. The other wound around the back of your neck, leaving no room for escape. Your fists clenched the fabric of his shirt with such strength at any moment, it could tear. Gravity had no hold here as it felt like you were floating far above the atmosphere. Harsh clashes drew out into savoring breaths, and when you finally pulled apart, you found you were out of air entirely.

You looked up at him, your noses nearly grazing.

Ask me to stay, your eyes pleaded.

Please, stay. His heart begged.

Someone nearby cleared their throat, and you took a step back, color flooding your cheeks. Yet, still, there were no words to say to each other.

The Enterprise driver rolled down their window. “Lady, I got a schedule to run.”

“Right, of course,” You snapped back to reality as time and gravity came rushing back with an oppressive force.

Jensen rubbed his lower lip as if waking up trying to remember a dream.

“Thank you?” It came out as a question.

You didn’t know what you were thanking him for. The kiss, driving, paying for the hotels, maybe everything. Had you ever thanked someone after they kissed you? More people were around the entrance now; some under the awning, some looking through the glass windows of the lobby, and more than one had their phones out. Your chest began to tighten, and your vision blurred. Your mind grew evermore blank the harder you fished for something else to say.

His brow creased, and he tilted his head slightly. “You’re welcome?”

A high voice called his name, followed by another, and then a tank of a man came barreling over, mumbling to Jensen the need to check his phone more frequently. That he wasn’t about to have another Nashville on his hands. Without another word, you got into the car and drove away. Jensen’s eyes stayed fixed on you until the car was out of view.

---

The view on the way to Estes Park should have been stunning, breathtaking, and spectacular, but you were two-for-two. Two-for-two on leaving Jensen at a hotel and crying on your way to your next destination. And it was stupid. You shouldn’t be crying. You should be elated. It probably had something to do with tuning into a radio station playing that dreaded Neil Diamond song you couldn’t seem to escape.

He kissed you. Like, kissed you, kissed you. There was no mistaking it this time. Yet, he didn’t ask you to stay. He didn’t say anything. You knew what you wanted at this point. You wanted him. You wanted to try and make some sort of relationship work despite the distance, despite his status, despite everything. But you were going to leave it in his hands. He had to decide what he wanted and then fucking communicate it to you. With actual words, though, the lips had been enjoyable.

You chewed on your thumb, thinking things over. Maybe you should turn around and head back. Give him an opportunity to actually say what he was thinking. But then again, he was going to be so busy this weekend that you wouldn’t have time with him anyways. No. You were staying the course. You were a brave, independent woman and didn’t need to be hung up about some guy. When you booked this trip, you wanted to see ghosts at The Stanley and you wanted to see the mountains. So by god, that was what you were going to do. If he had anything to say, he could come find you.

The Stanley was impressive, to say the least. It had a glamor to it, feeling as if it stood still in a bygone era. The ghost tour was fun and spooky, and you even managed to catch an orb on camera, despite the rule, ‘no videos allowed.’ Though it felt lonely. You kept thinking of quick remarks to say to Jensen or feeling the same chill down your spine or how he’d undoubtedly say your orb was just a spec of dust yet secretly keep a box of salt close by that night.

Sleep was impossible. It wasn’t the scratching on walls or the footsteps above, even though you were on the top floor, or the swinging chandelier. It was the fact that he hadn’t called or texted. And yes, despite your horrible cell reception on the road trip here, you did, in fact, pay for cellular service. And it seemed to working just fine as you reconnected with friends and family ensuring them you arrived to Colorado in one piece.

You don’t kiss someone like that and not follow up! You buried your head under a pillow. You also don’t kiss someone like that and thank them. What had you been thinking? You weren’t thinking that was the problem. Possibly even had a panic attack given by the growing crowd. No wonder he hadn’t called you. What was he supposed to think? You tried to rationalize the thought process. You had shown gratitude towards the action, thus indicating you appreciated the gesture. But even you didn’t buy that.

An icy caress crept up your spine, sending shivers throughout your body, and you reached your breaking point.

You shot straight up. “Can’t you tell I am being haunted enough by my own idiocy!” Perhaps it was your own imagination, but the creaking floorboards seemed to settle, and warmth flooded back. “Thank you!”

You laid back down and pulled your phone out, staring at his number, the photos being the last thing you sent. You had to put a feeler out there.

‘Thanks again for an amazing trip! If you’re looking for a buddy on your next road trip, let me know. And don’t worry, the ghosts here are all bark, though I can’t say the same for those in room 217.’

You slammed your phone on the one-night stand and prayed sleep would find you.

Morning came quickly, too quickly. Your alarm cheerfully chimed you awake though you did not meet it with the same attitude. After hitting snooze twice, you regretted your decision to wake up early and beat the crowds. The sheets crinkled as you reached over, searching for Jensen, only to remember he wasn’t there. The realization was enough to get you moving instead of what you really wanted, opting for a lazy morning in bed with him.

Though it had been a struggle to pry yourself free from the bed, it had been the right call. Prime parking was still available at the head of the trail, which was starting to fill in even at this ungodly hour. The trail up to the Sky Pond was going to be a long one but worth it, or so you kept telling yourself. You double-checked your supplies, ensuring you had enough water, food, and a compass. To Jensen’s credit, you probably could have been more prepared, but you also didn’t want to be weighed down. You snapped a few pictures of the map at the start of the trail, just in case. It would all be fine.

Two hours into the hike and you had convinced yourself you made the right call. The landscape and views were astonishingly serene. There was peace and euphoria blowing like wind through branches, rushing like rapids of a river, sweetly singing like birds in the breeze, gasping like the lack of air in your lungs, dripping like the sweat on your brow. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but you just needed a second wind. It would be worth it, you repeated. And you were only thinking about Jensen every 500 feet or so. Progress. You had already passed Alberta Falls, and it had been spectacular. There was something healing about the sound of water. There was more to come, and it would be worth it, repeating the mantra of the day.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, so too did the heat of the day. Conserving water throughout the hike was essential, but staying hydrated was just as important. You guzzled down another few sips. As you rounded a bend, you hesitated, seeing the ascent. The backpack bearing weight on your shoulders grew heavier, and you adjusted the straps. Your breaths deepened, and a few crude words muttered from your lips as you prepared for the climb. If Nesta could do it, so could you.

Your legs shook as you started, already weary from the elevation gain. You wondered what it would be like at the convention right now. Would you be hanging out with Jensen? Meeting his friends and coworkers? Or would you just be milling about, waiting for the day to be over? Probably the latter. He had asked you to text in the morning, but he hadn’t even responded to your message last night. He was probably too busy with the day. Or just as confused about the kiss as you. The first time it happened, you didn’t talk about it, so why would now be any different? Whatever the situation, you bet if you were still in Denver, it would include air conditioning, less sweat, and the opportunity to read. But you could read at the lake and cool your feet off. If you ever got there. The mental games were becoming as big of a hurdle as the physical limits.

You were too in your head that when you hit the next rock, your foot missed it entirely. Landing on the step below, your foot slipped out from under you, and you came crashing down on your hip with a big thud.

“Fuck!” You cursed and then hissed through your teeth.

“Woah!” A voice called in the distance, and the sound of heavy boots beat against the rocky steps. “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

You braced yourself to get up and were met with a helping hand. The green pants and khaki shirt were a dead giveaway for a park ranger. He was tall and broad with dark brown curls and soft whiskey eyes. His skin was darkened from days in the sun. And unlike you, he was barely breaking a sweat.

“Yeah.” You winced as he helped pull you up. “Wasn’t watching my step.”

“At least you can stand.” He said, “But let’s take a look anyways.” He crouched down beside you. “A few scrapes and you’ll definitely have a bruise. Can you twist your ankle?” You did as he instructed. “Bend the knee.”

You looked down as he tenderly applied pressure to certain areas. You confirmed the scrapes from the few bright red streaks traveling down your calve and brushed at the dirt that ran your whole length.

“All looks to be in working order.” He assessed, brushed off his hands, and started digging through his pack. “I have acetaminophen.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.” You gladly accepted it and washed it down with water.

“Here.” He took his water bottle and ran it down your leg, clearing the cuts of debris. “You’ll want to clean that better once you’re finished for the day, but you should be fine until then. Where are you hiking up to?” He asked.

“Sky pond.”

“Ah, me too, actually.” He took his hat off to fan himself and ran his hand through his bouncy curls. “Someone has been messing with the trail cams up there, and I gotta reset them. Mind if I join you?” Maybe it was because you pursed your lips, he quickly added. “If not, I’ll hang back for a while and create some distance. It’s so peaceful out here I wouldn’t want to ruin…”

“No. It’s cool, we can hike together. Though I’m probably slower than you’re used to.” You said.

“Oh, I love a leisurely pace. So much to take in. Maybe even catch sight of the bear I keep hearing about.”

“Bears?” You raised your brows. “Yeah, you can definitely stick around.”

As you hiked onward, you learned a little about each other. Where each other were from, family, careers, hobbies. He moved out from Maine recently, but being stationed in the Rockies had always been a dream of his. The ascent finally leveled out a bit, and you were able to catch your breath.

“You have a partner back home?” He asked.

You chuckled.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… complicated.” You explained.

“Hold that thought.” He said. “There’s an excellent view back here most people don’t know about.”

He started in through the woods.

“So much for staying on the trail rule.”

He looked back and winked. “Perks of traveling with a ranger.”

“Definitely not impersonating one and preying on single hikers.” You teased but also voiced the concern in the back of your mind.

“And disgrace the badge? Never.” He smiled.

“I do have bear spray.” You lied and gripped your shoulder straps tighter.

“Well, I’m glad I came across you. I left mine down at the station. If we did come across B 712 I was going to yell real loud and hope for the best.” He teased back.

Despite the warning bell in your head, you continued onward, following him further from the main path. The forest cleared to a rocky cliffside overlooking a massive gorge carved from the very glacier this trail was named after. It made you feel so insignificantly small and at the very top of the world all at the same time.

“Wow.” Was all that came to your mind.

“Ah, don’t get too close to the ledge now.” His arm went in front of you like a mother who braked in the car too hard. “If you slip here, well…” He peered over the steep ledge.

You took out your phone and scanned the area with the lens. “Pictures never do it justice.” You said disappointed.

“I never get sick of the view.” He stated. “You should come back when the colors change, it looks like the valley is on fire. Sorry, you were saying earlier?”

“Right. Yeah, no…” You were flustered, wondering how much to share. “It’s just I really like this guy, and I think he likes me too, most of the time anyway. But I don’t know what he wants. And I don’t want to get hurt. So I’m kinda stuck in this pining phase, and I don’t know how to get out of it until he’s ready. I’m not making sense.”

“Hmm.” He pondered. “I mean, I’ve known you for twenty minutes I can say with certainty he likes you back.”

You rolled your eyes at the pass. “No, it's different. He’s like a big deal. Like a big fish in the ocean, and I’m a trout in a pond.”

“First of all,” He stopped you. “I hate that analogy with a passion. Second, If you’ve put him on a pedestal and he’s reinforced that in any way or hasn’t corrected that, he is not worth the time of day. No matter where you are in your walk of life, comparing yourself to other people never ends well. And using that comparison to deflate your own worthiness or happiness is going to lead to a self-fulling prophecy of missed opportunity.”

Wow, that was deep and stung a little. “Are you really a park ranger or a psychologist?” You teased.

“I listen to a lot of Brene Brown podcasts.” He admitted. “What, it gets lonely hiking up here all the time; gotta do something to keep the mind busy. You said he likes you; what makes you think that?”

“Shall I lay on this bolder while you connect this back to my relationship with my mother?” You gestured to the rock next to you.

“Fine, fine.” He retreated. “I have a knack for wanting to fix things; car engines, relationships, trail cams. Let me say this, and now that I’ve creeped you out enough, I’ll let you hike in peace, but you said you don’t know what he wants, but have you asked him?”

“Well… I…” You stuttered. “I’m waiting for him.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Because that’s what you do. The guy asks the girl. He makes the moves.”

He scoffed. “I guess that’s fine. I didn’t take you as being so old-fashioned.”

“I’m not old-fashioned.” You scoffed back.

He raised his hands in surrender. “It’s not a bad thing if that's what you want.”

“No, it’s just… this is in his court. It’s his move.” How could you explain the situation without giving it away?

“Two-for-two with the horrible analogies.” He pushed.

Oh, he was getting on your nerves. “He’s an actor! Okay! Like a somewhat recognizable one. And I’m just,” You gestured to yourself. “A nobody, covered in dirt.”

“Oooh. So it is the pedestal thing. Man, I’m good!” He leaned against a pine and crossed his arms smugly. “The way I see it, if you like him, and he’s given you all the signals back, you need to get over your own insecurities and open up a channel of communication, or you're going to be stuck in that small pond forever.”

Tears were threatening to spill from your eyes. “How?” You whispered.

“Simple. Tell him how you feel and ask him the same, ask him what he wants.” He suggested.

“And what if, what if he doesn’t want what I want? What if I lose him altogether?”

“It’s a risk, but do you really want to be trailing behind him forever? Putting your whole life on hold while you wait for him to catch up?” He pushed. “‘Sides, you know where I’m stationed, and I’ll make my intentions clear from the beginning.”

You squinted your eyes at him. “What’s your name?”

His grin widened, showing off his canines. “Why, you going to report me, sweetheart?”

“No.” You stamped your foot. “You are obviously entitled to a raise. I bet you find all the single hikers and help them with their existential crises.”

“It keeps me busy.” He bit his bottom lip. “The name’s Dean. You?”

You scoffed. Of course, it was. “Y/N. I think I’ll let you continue on your own from here.”

“I understand. I came on too heavy.” He sighed. “Should’ve stuck to the surface-level topics.”

“No, it’s not that.” You said. “It’s just I’m heading in the opposite direction now.”

You weren’t going to wait to keep hashing it out with him. A new determination had sparked. The branches snapped underneath your feet as you started the way back to the main trail. You wondered how fast you could run down a mountain.

“Hey, take it easy,” Dean called after you. “I don’t want to come back on the trail tonight to find you twisted an ankle on the way down. Where are you off to so fast anyways? Really taking those words to heart.”

“Denver.” You shouted back. “There’s a con I gotta get to.”

-----

Continue to Part 7 Here!

GHTTC Tags: @maggiegirl17 @foxyjwls007 @djs8891 @deans-spinster-witch @tmb510

[princessfaerygia]

Last year this day we woke up together I did yoga and then we made oatmeal and sat on the balcony making lovey dovey footsy TikToks to the song "I will never ever find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you" and it's over. I can't believe it. I didnt know love could be so tender and special and sacred and so harsh. But it is. Is romantic love worth it? I've always said no since my first relationship. But it feels like it was worth it. Liar he may be, abusive he may be, he was also the best boyfriend and lover of my life. I'm crying as I walk to the grocery store. It's kinda far. My parents is smelly compared to his place. It is disgusting. And he told me my hands are disgusting. God let them heal. Make my hands heal so I can do some helpful work around the house. God knows my parents need me. But God knows I wanted to experience my boyfriend so badly and I did and it is never over. Not for my heart. My heart is an ocean and I carry you with me forever and eternal longing brings me my memories of our meeting. I'm washing clothes. I think there's something wrong with the sink there are dirty dishes piled high up and also in the backyard. The bathroom smells bad because my family is aging and terrible and slow at doing things. My boyfriend thinks I was slow at doing things, my family takes ages. I think part of it is because I haven't taken my hypothyroidism medication in a long time because I don't want them to take my blood again.As soon as my aunt saw me yesterday she asked , "r u injured?" Talking about my hands. Yes they ache and peel and bleed. It's a rare skin disease combined with OCD and scab picking. Why do I always get the rare problems? It's before 9 am. My good time~ the time of day I don't have anxiety. The air is grey sky is white and blue. It's sad. But not too cold. I guess I have some stuff backed up on my queue and it's been posting without me. I'm wearing black leggings, hiking boots, yellow crop top with ribbon, dark purple v neck sweater, and pink cardigan he bought me. And grey neck warmer. I'm sad I left my black snow boots at his place and one of my only three bras. My area of sleeping is a mess of holiday shiz boxes and boxes of storage and the cats pee on the ground. Yes my life is disgusting so am I. Why I love white minimalism and pale aesthetic so much. Cleanliness, holiness, spaciousness and no clutter. My parents is worse than my boyfriends. Yep. This is a long post because walking to grocery store takes like 40 mins instead of twenty from my boyfriends. I ate bananas this morning. Im on my way to get vegan yogurt and protein bars. Thank God they don't have banana nut muffins and cheese danishes there.

[archivalofsins]

I'm about to be so for real for a second.

So, if anyone is interested in knowing why nothing has gotten done in any timely fashion- Hating myself forever for this by the way if anyone thinks they want to read what I'm writing more than me you're incorrect I really wanna read that shit too sad part is I gotta write it. Either way here's your queue to listen up because I'm only going to explain this in a post once.

And this is the most candid I will ever be about my personal life in an online setting.

Okay quick fire of reasons I haven't gotten shit done in regards to Milgram posts,

The US election results

Family issues

Being accused of two crimes in one year once on this very blog and another time this fucking week over the phone (we're gonna go into this one).

Mental health issues (I'm pretty sure you can tell why.).

Physical health issues.

Honestly anyone is lucky if they hear from me every two weeks. Only people I really care about hear from my ass daily. I'm putting in an effort to show up in a setting I actively despise when I come online. I'm not going to make that harder for me by doing something I don't want to do. If I've messaged anyone and haven't gotten to responding the reasons for that are also in here later on.

Generally though I tend to like in person stuff more than online.

Remember that test I took in October that was like ha this bitch has dysgraphia and also presents with coordination issues. Yeah they also quantified my suicidal/death ideation in that test and it was 94. They quantified family problems- it was 86. These are two highest scores on that psych eval. That's an A and B+ in god's worse running jokes.

Let's talk about it. Starting with suicide ideation it's been like that since I was in elementary that's a consistent thing they also diagnosed me with persistent depression. I'm not blaming it on that. That has nothing to do with this. Those things have both been here for years before this diagnosis. They're fine they can stay.

However they get exacerbated by the second thing. Family problems which were eighty-six. Alright let's be candid I'm the youngest child of my family having five older siblings. I grew up with my sister who is a year older than me. My other siblings are decades older than me. My brother was graduating from school when I was born.

My sister takes issue with me so much so that when I called just to check on her she went into a tangent basically going this is why I don't talk to you and you should apologize for stuff from when you were ten and eleven to me. She even got her significant other involved in this conversation so he could explain to me why he felt she deserved an apology to. Quick fire things of shit my sibling have done to me in no real order.

Threw out my bed. Yeah um I spent most of my adolescent years sleeping on a pullout in the living room (it wasn't always pullout couch sometimes it was a regular couch or the floor) because she needed to have a room of her own in our family two bedroom apartment. Also because her s/o needed a place to stay at a point. So a good chunk of my childhood was friend comes over where's your room you're standing in it- This is the living room. I sleep on that couch what about that other room back there that's my sisters room. Umm??

I have been informed by several people that's weird. That's a unique form of favoritism. After I apologized to her for shit I did when I was in elementary school um she continued to badger over text because I rightfully hung up on her when she did not apologize back. For literally threatening me with homelessness the year before last, tampering with my cell service, assaulting me in my own home last year, recording me and my friend in my living room in the same home while I was constructing a cat tower. Holding that recording over my head as black mail all of this year saying okay I'll send it and you'll see how wrong you were me going okay send it then I'd love to have it then her never sending it.

For anyone thinking got damn not all of that can be true. Isn't it really convenient she never received that recording etcetera. Guess what I've got the texts still! Where she literally sent me screenshots of the video she took of me in my home with time stamps on it. Lol-

This text conversation went on from October 23, 2024 to the 29th. Now heads up I'm going to call her delusional here and I'm going to give context to why this is. Over the course of our call she kept saying I wasn't shoving our father into his door I was trying to get through him. In regards to when she was coming out of his room to harass my friend and I. She changes up her story a lot.

She says that actually she never shoved our father. Our father says this is a lie I know it was a lie my friend who was there knows it was a lie. Because all three of us had to go file a police report on the matter at later date where everyone wrote on paper exactly what fucking occurred. She also yelled at me for an hour because she claimed my friend called her a bitch when she was recording us in my home.

Which would have been my friends right honestly but this was also a fucking lie. Like,

And my friend knew she fucking hit me because my arm was bruised and swollen. So, that's why she said that. This was like a little after our uncle died from cancer which is why I was fucking calling to check on her by the way and she decided to bring up something from over a year ago then stuff from over twenty years ago.

So yeah I called her delusional because she's either that or blatantly lying. Which given she never sent me that video she may just be blatantly lying.

Then before this shit some complete nimrod on here messaged me accusing me of cyberstalking them. Then got upset and lectured me after I blocked them. Like yes I fucking blocked them they accused me of a crime. This first instance of me being accused of a crime this year. It certainly gets better.

This week I got a call from Adult Protective Services who I found out after were over at my apartment when I was out with a friend. Saying hey so I just have to call and make you aware of these allegations and ask for your side of the story real quick. This happened in the middle of me discussing being uncomfortable with my sister coming over with my dad.

This very polite worker informed me that someone had called them alleging that I had committed elder abuse of the physical and financial exploitation variety. I went wow you're timing couldn't be greater I was just discussing my sister with my father and also me finding somewhere else to live post haste. Even if it's outside.

Because I can just go if this is going to keep happening. People will be like you know I'm going to harass this person online about how they talk about a piece of media what's the harm. I shouldn't have to say I'm getting harassed on and offline for people to know what basic human decency is. Some people know who the person that made that allegation online is and the behavior that they partook in to harass me and if you do or think you do good on you. Let's all move on it's not about them it's about me the victim of their inconsiderate bullshit.

If people focused less on vilifying perpetrators and helping victims imagine how many things would be solved by now. People talks a lot of shit about not being like Futa but everyone here likes taking down a bad guy more than they enjoy helping someone who's hurting get back up. That makes you all like Futa in my book in fact it makes you worse than him because he's actually shifted focus to helping others and being their for someone else.

While a good deal of people here are focused more on appearing good than doing anything good. It's all just fake consideration anyway. It's just something done to make an individual feel good in the moment and like they did something with themselves. But nothing has changes except a good deal of people in this fandom has incrementally made my life that was already difficult worse.

Because I'm literally an unpaid caretaker for my own father. I had to leave college to get a job in order to pay my father's rent, I got a credit and credit debt to take care of my dad and fix his junk car that can't run much at all anymore. This is the person this fandom has very consistently harassed for the crime of being critical of their favorite fictional character and talking about something they enjoy in a way some of you don't like.

So, I'm at a point where I have to actively build up energy to write something on this to post because each time. Because each time I think of writing or sharing anything in regards to this it feels like ripping a part of myself out to feed people who wouldn't lift one finger to help me if I was shot right in front of them. Then I think to myself that's no way to be some people are cruel and have wronged you but if you move forward always expecting the worse that's all you'll get.

The only person you can control is you. The only way you can improve your environment is through your own actions no one's going to help and expecting someone to swoop in and save you from all your problems is childish. You're gonna have to do the work yourself even if it's hard, it feels bad, your life isn't that great. It doesn't matter if you're uncomfortable what matters is you get the work done.

Because if it's something you love and want to discuss you should do that. Fuck what anybody else thinks or does. Which is a fine way to feel. That's true I'm not saying those feelings of mine are bullshit. However I am saying I'm tired, annoyed, stressed, feeling completely underappreciated and disrespected.

Because at the end of the day when people do shit like what my sister does or that other person. I'm told this is a two person communication failure you two just need to come together and talk it out. You're feelings are valid but you need to be the bigger person and considerate of the rest of this family or community.

That's not even going into the US election results. People have thought maybe it's burnout maybe you just need to take a brake from this to what? To what actually? Anyone who bothers to read this will have an understand what taking a break from talking about my interests is a break to now. Would anyone be taking a break from the things that bring you a bit of joy in my position?

On top of that my dad just got his tooth pulled and I now have to take care of him after being accused of abusing him. That's my life hey can you sleep on the floor, can you sleep on the couch, can you get out of the way until we need you to do something then when you do something we don't like we're gonna accuse you of a crime. What's that- That's not fair. Well you're feelings are valid but life not fair you really need to get thicker skin.

So, fuck it from my perspective I'm in a damned if I do damned if I don't situation where I don't even feel comfortable posting honestly on my own blog or safe in my own home. So who the fuck cares yeah I'll take that break.

And things will get done when they get done. Possibly when I feel like I'm not under constant scrutiny or will be attacked for just speaking. So yeah that's why.

Now I'm gonna go sit my balcony in the middle of winter.

[lageografiademicamino]

5 habits I've picked up during my Lisbon years

These are the biggest life changing habits I've picked up during my seven Lisbon years.

They come in no specific order.

Vegetarian diet

Not my pic.

Not that Portuguese cuisine is known for its vegetarian dishes (because it has none!) but my view on food and cooking have changed while spending my 30's in Lisbon (or it's the old age hehe). Good flavors are rather a simple thing and a lot can be done with fresh and good ingredients without complex procedures.

When still living in Finland I didn't enjoy cooking that much or know exactly how to use the best out of the ingredients I had in my reach. Finnish grocery stores are filled with overproduced and ready-to-go meal options which I also indulged greatly. Finnish cuisine is also rather meat focused which I have stepped away from a bit during my years abroad even though I still enjoy a good steak every now and then.

Portuguese supermercardos on the other hand differ quite a lot - many things can be found fresh and locally produced (except cod because that they actually get from Norway). Instead of e-code filled spice mixes you don't need much else to highlight the natural flavors except salt, pepper, lemon and olive oil. This has changed my way of seeing and consume food tremendously.

Nowadays my social media feed is filled with Mediterranean style vegetarian recipes and I've taken on such things as herbs, onions, garlic, olive oil, arugula and fresh vegetables to my daily diet. I take advantage of seasonal products such as pomegranate, watermelon, mint to bring variety to my plate.

Fun fact is that I've also learned to eat oats, berries + cottage cheese in here which all have been part of Finnish classical diet forever but which I used to hate when living back home.

I'm more human

Not my pic.

Things don't always work and not especially here in Portugal. Systems crash, procedures fail and so do people. You cannot be in a hurry while living in this city or schedule no more than one bureaucrat procedure on your weekly agenda. And that one thing takes the entire day often! Portuguese people and culture still embrace old fashion lifestyle in many ways. Many things still run with pen and paper here and developments come in practice slowly. It's human that mistakes take place and that things might not be easy on the first try.

On a different side of the coin however, elderly, pregnant women or people with small kids or injuries often get priority in groceries and other places. Or you might be passed by the queue because you only have one item in your shopping basket when the person in front of you is buying for a family of six. There's humanity in everyday counters. I'm not saying that not being able to trust the process is entirely stress free but I do enjoy the more human side of things. Life is more merciful, my flaws don't make me and I demand less from myself and those around me.

Traditional = more simple life?

Not my pic.

I'm not saying that everything is about money or that you wouldn't need it but when you don't have much of it you tend to prioritize the real things in life.

The essential part of Portuguese everyday life routine is the meals, family and relationships in general. Yes, we all have to go to work but it doesn't become us. During free time people read books, exercise, go to the beach or play football - some of these being perhaps the essential parts of a Portuguese (or even of South European) lifestyle. These off-screen activities embrace social relationships, healthy and in my opinion more equal lifestyle where one's background with money or success doesn't matter.

This a far cry how I remember the years lived in Finland. The society is very performance and success focused - whether it's from the financial wealth to meeting the social standards - life is measured with achievements, success. The standards are the same for everyone, every child, woman and man and pressures start to grow from a very young age on. Individuality feels criminal. It's about reaching the finish line with great scores instead of enjoying the journey and its benefits to you.

Portuguese salary is is still lower than an average EU-citizen's elsewhere in Europe. As mentioned this country is slow to develop, therefore people and the lifestyle have remained traditional in many ways. Despite of the recent years' tourism boom that has brought along more pressure to provide things in a more modern manner. However it's not super uncommon to step into a store that only accepts cash, or to a Portuguese kitchen that has changed only a little during the last century. Life can be so simple.

Outdoor sports

Not my pic.

Funnily enough coming from the country of four seasons, thousands of lakes and forests that offer almost the same amount of possibilities to exercise all year round, I didn't learn to embrace outdoor sports before January 2020 - in Lisbon. I started running just before the covid shit storm, just in time when gyms and everything else shut down. There was nothing else than the empty streets and parks to conquer.

Funnily enough this new found lifestyle would suffer significantly if I ever moved to Finland (or any other Northern country with proper winters) because indoor, treadmill running doesn't do it for me. I'm in eternal love with the Portuguese weather because I can get around the rains or heat waves - the weather is not an obstacle for me!

Less productive

Not my pic.

I said these five things come in no particular order but it feels natural though to put this last. This is the result of all these four.

I don't feel pressured to do anything that I don't want to do. Whether it's to change jobs, to have a relationship, to travel, to exercise or eat healthy. I do all these things because I want to and if not, it's because I'm not feeling like it. I may be less productive and not where "I supposed to be at my age" - I can feel the judgement every time going home.. but the choices I've made during these seven years have felt truly mine and only mine.

Sometimes I do wonder if these changes and steps would have occurred if I had lived in Finland or somewhere else. Some maybe, others not.

[gothicprep]

since a lot of my blog is just, like, my repository for movie/tv/entertainment talk, may as well put a question prompt in my queue so i can read the responses to it when i get home from work:

what do you think happened to tony soprano?

i'll go first! my family didn't have hbo, and i was a bit way too young to be watching this when it aired anyway. so i came to this conclusion, probably in part because i'd benefitted in having missed all of these debates. but it has always seemed obvious to me that at the end of the show, tony suffers another panic attack. it's not that he's dead. it's not that david chase is just messing with us. the most logic thing is that, having terminated his therapy, having been confronted with the idea that he's not actually growing and changing, and the seven years he's spent with dr melfi didn't mean anything because he was manipulating the process, that the psychological problem that led him to therapy in the first place has recurred.

it's fascinating to me that this never became a more widespread conclusion that people drew, because it's so thematically appropriate. i always thought that the debate over whether tony died or not was a product of wanting a conventional mob story when it makes so much more psychological sense for tony to have come full circle and relapse into the panic attacks that were making him pass out. i know one problem in this is that the panic attacks aren't portrayed like this in the show. usually it'd be more "oh, i gotta lie down," but let's also consider that he hadn't had one in a while at this point. so it comes on more intensely.

my thing here is that if tony gets killed, that's an out. the worst possible thing you can inflict on tony soprano is that he has to live with being himself forever. that there is not actually going to be the process of improvement or forward progress, that he's going to be stuck in this bizarre arrangement of a marriage, that his kids are going to fail to escape the gravity of, like, his personality and the community that they grew up in, and that he's never going to become the kind of person that, in truth, he doesn't really want to be. he's made his choice. he's going to have to live with it. and killing him off just lets him off in a way that i think is inconsistent to what the show is doing, especially in its final seasons.

there aren't any definitive readings when it comes to this show. let's get that out of the way. but i think that's what makes this one specifically an interesting topic of discussion.

[tvitr]

A Little Treat

Part One

Words: 3,012

Pairings: Grusha/Katy

Synopsis: On the morning of her divorce, Katy finds herself daydreaming about her handsome colleague. On a spur of the moment, she invites him back to her place later that evening.

AO3 Version

Well.

That was that then.

It certainly had been nice whilst it lasted, Hell, had you asked her ten years ago how she thought this would pan out, she'd have said they'd be together forever. Till death do us part and all that.

But of course, nothing ever ran smoothly, and here she was now, three years after it all started going wrong.

Divorced.

She’d secured the day off from her gym work, Geeta had honestly been surprisingly understanding of the whole situation, but the bakery still needed to be tended to. Not that it bothered her much; baking always helped her relieve stress, it’s why she’d pursued it as a career after all, and usually she’d cherish a day where she wouldn’t be dragged to the gym every half hour...

Katy just wished today’s circumstances were... different.

Today was at least busy enough to semi-distract her. Honestly, it was busy to the point that she’d have taken time off from the gym regardless. They’d acquired a backlog of orders somehow (“somehow”, she tried to convince herself this wasn’t down to her absent mental state recently), and though it wasn't enough to affect their reputation, it was certainly enough to ensure she'd be cutting her breaks short.

She'd decided to man the tills today, just in case any of their customers today decided to get ratty over their order being delayed, or the service being slow. It was not her favourite job, honestly it was probably nobody's favourite job, but she'd rather take the heat for any shortcomings than make any of her employees handle it. After all, they were perfectly capable of manning the kitchen without her, and most of them were talented bakers in their own right anyway. She was merely the face of the business.

Katy was good at diffusing customer rage anyway, she didn't know how but they always seemed to calm down the moment she stepped onto the scene. Perhaps it was her minor celebrity status, she didn't know. But it was useful, at least.

Thankfully she hadn't had to exercise her special talent today. Despite their backlog and the ever-growing queue at the till, everyone she’d dealt with thus far had been perfectly civil. None of the staff had said anything for fear of jinxing the calm, but the relief in the air was tangible.

“Who’s next?”

To her surprise, a familiar face stepped forward. "Hi, I'm here to pick up-" His voice trailed off, something apparently interrupting his thoughts.

She smiled. "Good afternoon, Grusha."

She could almost see him reeling in his wayward thoughts. "Is it bad I completely forgot you worked here?"

"One of those days, huh?"

"Not even, took today off because I had some stuff to do and-" He ruffled his hair loose from its ponytail. “Guess it’s just been a long week. Lots to do, you know?”

“Yeah it’s been… it’s been long for me too.” She snapped herself back to reality before she got too lost. Despite being colleagues, Grusha was still a customer at the end of the day. She couldn't quite justify burdening him with her life issues. At least, not here anyway. “Anyhoo, your order’s under Ibáñez right?”

“Wouldn’t be under anything else.”

Perhaps it was down to him having been the first real celebrity she’d ever baked an order for, or perhaps it was just down to his uncommon name, but she’d always been able to remember every order she’d made under the name Ibáñez. She could still remember that first order, from his parents it seemed, to celebrate him being selected for the Paldean team for that year’s Winter Bellic Games. From then on, she’d apparently been his family’s go-to bakery, to the point she knew the names and birthdays of his parents and two siblings, his parent’s wedding anniversary, that his older brother was now pursuing an acting career in Galar, that his sister had recently graduated college…

It was a nice feeling, having a well-known regular, and it had certainly helped with publicity back in those early days of the business. Perhaps she should surprise him with a thank-you cake sometime. She’d baked enough orders for him now to know what he liked after all.

“So who’s this for?” She dropped the cake box onto the counter, readying the PIN machine. After all, it wasn't anybody's birthday soon, and his sister had picked up the anniversary cake last month-

“Oh, it’s just something for my old coach. It's his fifthtieth soon, thought I might surprise him."

“I see!” Come to think of it, he’d never ordered something for his coach before. Honestly she was surprised he’d remained in touch, though admittedly she’d never been the sporting type. Perhaps it was common to remain in touch after one's retirement, though something told her it was probably best not to pry. “Just tap your card there-”

As he rooted in his pockets for his card, Katy felt herself daydreaming again. It seemed odd to think about, but she'd never paid attention to how… fit Grusha was. She'd seen him out of his winter sports garb many a time at League meetings or nights out, and of course on any official League trips, but she'd never properly… studied his physique. He was beautifully built, with a broad, muscular chest that slimmed into a trim waist, and by God his arms were massive. And his face! Oh he had such a pretty face; big, long-lashed eyes, high cheekbones, and plush lips, gosh, what a wonderful little specimen of a man he was. Pretty and extremely fit, such a rare combination indeed!

What would it be like… to kiss those plush little lips? How would it feel if he held her tight with those big, powerful arms? What if they… what if they…

I can now.

I'm single.

The very thought sent a shiver through her. Her, and him! She knew women who'd kill to even be around him as much as she was, let alone able to spend a night with him-

… Did she really want to do that? He was younger than her after all, she didn't know by what margin, but would he be… up for it with an old divorcee like her? Should she risk him turning her down?

You won't know if you don't try.

That was true.

You deserve it.

That was also true. These past few years had been awfully hard for her after all.

Perhaps she was due… a little treat tonight?

"Your card machine's broke."

Katy jolted back to reality, shooing her daydream away (for time being). "Sorry it's been funny with me all day, uh-" Customer handling mode engaged. "Do you have cash?"

He looked around, raising his arm to point towards the nearby PokéCentre. "Not on me, no, but I saw a cash machine on my way-"

An idea suddenly hit her. "Oh, our till’s not working either, I know it's been an absolute nightmare all morning, are you free later by any chance?"

Grusha side-eyed the clerk next to her, apparently working the till with no problem. "I mean, I was going to hit the gym when I got back home, but after that-"

"Oh perfect, so you'll be free then?"

He shrugged. "I guess so?"

"Good, call back later. You know my address I’m sure." She sent him off with a playful wink.

***

What have I done.

Katy hadn't known what had come over her earlier, honestly. Inviting a colleague over! Thank goodness she hadn't said anything suggestive to him, she might’ve winked (oh God, did she really wink at him?), but she could at least hope he didn't see that.

Maybe he wouldn't even show up. Maybe he'd text her and say it's too much hassle and he'd just send her the money instead. She should've asked him to do that, really. In fact, she should probably just message him now, save him the trouble of coming all the way down to Cortondo just to hand over whatever he owed her. How much did he even owe her anyway? She hadn't taken note. It was too late to go find the receipt now.

Or maybe he would show up, and she could just take the money and send him home. It was an awful long way for him sure, but she was fairly certain he had a solo fliers licence, and she knew he had that Altaria, hopefully it wouldn't be too much bother for him, or hopefully he wouldn't even bother coming-

There was a buzz from the hallway.

Now or never.

She held her breath as she walked to the door. Maybe it wasn't him. Maybe it was her neighbour, wanting to borrow some sugar. Maybe it was a delivery guy, knocking on the wrong door. Maybe it was the boy next door, asking if he could retrieve his football from her garden again. Maybe it was-

She opened the door.

Grusha stood on the porch, still sweating and flushed from his evening workout. Or maybe he'd just showered, she didn't know. Either way, his shirt clung to his frame, showing off his chiselled muscles, and his long hair was damp and held back in a messier than usual ponytail. A sports bag was slung over his shoulder.

"Came here straight after the gym. The human gym I mean, not the-" He took a deep breath and laughed breathlessly, hand running through his hair, tousling it further. "You know what I mean."

Katy didn't know how, but somehow he was even more attractive than he was earlier. It was probably the shirt, the way it hugged his frame, showing off his toned body underneath. Or maybe it was the fact he'd been working out, how he glistened with sweat in the evening sun. She wondered how he would smell right now, or even how his skin would taste, so warm and salty, like a summer's sea breeze-

She shooed her thoughts away, for now. "Do you want to come in for a bit? You're looking very flushed."

He seemed to think for a moment, before nodding. "Yeah, that would be… that would be nice."

He stepped in, dropping his bag by the door with a loud thud. Following the bag to the floor, her eyes passed over his lower half; his ass and thighs were currently shrouded by his shorts, but if his calves were anything to go by…

“Sorry, my shoulders are aching-” He flexed his glorious arms and back with a satisfying series of clicks before hoisting his bag up again.

Katy mentally shook herself to avoid staring for too long. Lord knew she'd die if he caught her ogling. “The kitchen’s just over there, make yourself at home.”

As she watched him enter the kitchen, and heard his bag thud down a second time, she took the time alone to gather her thoughts once again. Was she doing this or not? How did she even go about asking him? Should she test the water first? What if he was already taken? Goodness, she hadn't even thought of that-

"Katy? Where are you?"

"Just having an issue with the door, I'll be with you in a second." She slammed it a few times, fiddling with the lock and handle for extra effect.

“Need any help?”

“Nope, it’s fine.” With one last (hopefully convincing) slam, she hurried over to the threshold of the kitchen door where he'd disappeared to.

Here we go.

Katy took a deep breath, thankful that Grusha at least had his back to her right now. That at least gave her time to plan her next move. Perhaps she should’ve put something nicer on? Or even showered?

It doesn’t matter now, just go for it.

She sauntered into the kitchen. He didn't seem to notice it, instead rooting around in his pockets. "So how much do I owe you?"

"Oh, nothing actually." She tugged at the buttons on her dress, trying to loosen them to flaunt some cleavage before realising they were purely decorative. "Though you could say I could use a little…"

Goodness, what was the word?

"Fun, tonight." Yeah, that was it! Fun. A bit of fun. Just a bit of fun. A nice bit of-

“What?” To her mild horror, Grusha was staring at her with his mouth slightly agape and a look of abject confusion on his face. “Katy, what are you talking about…?”

Oh no.

“I mean you can…” Her nervous hands fumbled with her braid, trying to release it with no success. “Pay me in other ways, perhaps?”

The staring continued. "No offence, but have you been drinking? You're being… weird."

“Baby, I’m stone cold sober.” She tried to hoist her leg up onto the countertop, before realising that it was both far too high, and that her skirt couldn’t stretch enough for it.

It was safe to say Grusha was looking veritably dumbfounded by this point. "Listen, how about I just give you the money and leave, I promise I won't tell Geeta about this. Swear on my Cetoddle’s life."

"Don't you get it?” She marched over, trying to corner him in his chair before again realising her skirt wouldn’t allow the stretch. “I want to make love to you, I’ve been thinking about it all day, I don’t know how else to say it so I might as well just be upfront about, I… I…"

An aggressively awkward silence fell between them as the bemused stare off continued. No, no, no-

A loud sigh. “... Alright, where’s Iono?”

Katy blinked. “Wha-”

“She’s set you up to this, right? This is all part of a prank for her channel?”

“I don’t under-”

“Okay so…” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, letting out another, more annoyed, sigh. “This is a bit embarrassing, but one time when we were watching you battle and you said something like, ‘oh, let me knead you into submission’, and I said to myself ‘man I wish she’d knead me into submission’, and I thought I was being quiet but it turns out Iono heard me because of course she did, and ever since then she’s basically… blackmailed me by saying she’ll tell you I said that if I don’t give an interview on her channel.”

He took a deep breath, ruffling his hair till the tie keeping his ponytail in place was only clinging onto a few stray locks and static. “So where is she? She's gotta be hiding somewhere right? Ready to jump out and embarrass me, yeah?”

Katy stumbled back, hand behind her reaching for a countertop which never came. He thought this was a joke. He thought she was leading him on for a joke. She should probably play along, save her all that embarrassment, act like Iono was hiding in her pantry or something, after all if word of this got out, then her gym job and even her patisserie could be in jeopardy, and-

"Hey, you alri- Hey!” She heard him bound over, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders and holding her steady, those big eyes of his looking deep into her with an unusual amount of concern for his usually miserable face. "Man, are you okay? You've been acting real weird since I got here."

“Yeah, I-I’m fine.” The room felt like it was spinning, and she teetered even in his firm grip. “I’ve just…. I’m just…”

“Hey, easy, easy…” He guided her to the chair he’d been sitting on, kneeling down next to her and taking her hand. “Just breathe, okay? I don’t know what to do if you faint or something.”

"I'm not going to faint, I promise." She said that with a lot of confidence for someone who felt like she was leaning sideways. "It's just… I've really embarrassed myself here, haven’t I? Inviting you out here for no reason and giving you all that, and… and now you think it was all just a joke and I’m leading you on and-”

“Breathe, breathe...” A hand landed gently on her back, rubbing a circle in between her shoulders, whilst his other hand gave hers a reassuring squeeze. “Sorry, I don’t really know what else to say, just like… try to stay calm. I won’t tell anyone about this. I promise.”

"Okay." Something in his voice told her he was being sincere. That was one weight off her mind at least, and her breathing began to slow to a less erratic pace. "Okay."

"Good, good." With one last affectionate pat on her back, he stood up, hands diving into his pockets. "So uh… why did you invite me here anyway? Don’t say it was for the cake because I know your cash till was working earlier."

Katy dried her eyes “Guess I have to come clean then, eh?”

“Did you really invite me down here for… you know…” He pumped his hips jokingly, eyebrows bobbing. That got a weak laugh out of her at least.

A deep breath. Just admit it. "Yes. I did."

He paused. "Huh. Never knew you thought about me that way. I mean, I'm not offended or anything but still, it's surprising."

“It was… a spur of the moment thing." Goodness, what a situation this was. At least he wasn’t going to blab about this. “It’s been really, really rough for me recently what with the divorce and all, and I saw you earlier when you came by the bakery, and I thought I'd maybe treat myself to-"

She realised too late how that sounded. “Oh, goodness, I’m so sorry, you must think I’m such an old-”

“Pft, don't worry about it. I've heard worse. Trust me." He bit his lip, swaying on his heel. "So… you still down? It's okay if you're not, I can just go home."

Katy thought for a moment. "Are you?"

Grusha raised his eyebrows. "Oh? Weren’t you paying attention earlier?"

Oh no. "What... what do you mean?"

He leaned in close, lips barely gracing her ear. "I've fantasised about making out with you for a long time."

[mrslittletall]

Okay, I need to vent some more, but I will put it under a cut:

You know, people say that you only truly know your partner once you went through a crisis with them. Well, I am going through a crisis with my husband. I don't like the person he is. In fact, I am starting to hate him. That is not the man I married, I want to say, but deep down in myself, I know this part of him was always there, just hidden away. I never liked this part, but I could ignore it because the good outweighed the bad. Now I only have the bad. Technically he isn't at fault for anything. He didn't want to get sick, he didn't want to almost die. But I can't help but be mad at him for seemingly refusing to get better. I have done so much during these ten months. The flat never looked better. I took care of the cats. I did so many things on my own, like organizing repairs for my broken car and get a new fridge when the old one decided to break during 30C in the middle of Summer. How often did I put myself into a queue to get food for him because he disliked the hospital food. How often did I stand in a traffic jam during a route that is easily an hour even without traffic? I stood at his bedsite when he barely recognized me. I cried myself to sleep. I cried in the car. I wanted him home but when he was home I was seeing a sad sack that still couldn't get up on his own. How should I do my job if he can't stay alone? Speaking of, on top of that, I am still doing my job... I had the first two weeks off in the whole year and they were VERY needed. And then I have to wait for January where I might lose my driver's licence for two months. Then I can't do anything because my 30 minute commute will turn into a 90 minute commute. And still, despite everything, he went dead silent on me and doesn't even tell me what ails him. And when I called the hospital, they refused to tell me and said "He is able to tell me just fine, he is awake and can talk." So now I am really salty and mad. Did you know how anxious I was the last three days?! Especially yesterday where he went completely non contact. The last time that happened he nearly died! And then I learn that he is not dying this time, just lying in bed. He might feel bad, but is a simple message a day too much to ask?! I couldn't even call him because apparently his phone is shut off! Anyway, I will go and visit him today and I will chew him out on this! He is on his best way to lose me. FOREVER! But I know that I have to completely start over then... should I leave him in this state, his and my family will hate me for the rest of my life.

[starjane312]

Spider x Oc

Big Masterlist

Masterlist

Prolouge

I’m Jane Carter. What can I tell you about myself ? Well for one I was Born on Pandora. I’m Sixteen Years old and I’m still here. I’m Human. I have blue eyes and Brown hair, which I like to Braid or put up into a Bun with my permanent Braids hanging down. I’m very Pale but have Freckles are all over my Body. I do have a little more weight on my waist and I’m about 174 cm Tall.

My Mother was a Military fighter. The scientists told me her name was Alicia Zdinarsk. She died a year after I was Born. But I don’t really care about her. I mean how could I ? I never knew her, and I go by the last name of my other mother. Lyra Carter. She was a scientist who also died in the war.

But I wasn’t the only Human Baby. I grew up with Spider by my Side. His Dad was a Colonel or something and since we were Baby’s, we couldn’t go into Cryo-capsules. So, we were stuck here. 

But we can’t complain. We grew up alongside Jake and Neytiri Sully's Family. They are Na’vi. Jake is the Olo’eyktan of the Omaticaya. After he defeated the Sky People, including

mine and Spider’s Parents, some of them stayed behind. Scientists who don’t want to Harm anyone and are on the Side of the Na’vi.

Me and Spider learned the way of the Na’vi, their Language feels more like our own than English, and we act like Na’vi too. I strongly believe in Eywa too. 

We started Dating three years ago. The day he told me that he sees me will forever be Branded in my Brain. 

We are great Friends with Jake’s kids. Neteyam, the eldest son, is fifteen. Kiri, the eldest Daughter, is fourteen. She is their Adoptive Daughter. She was born by a miracle, by Grace's Avatar after her Human body Died. She is also mine and Spider’s best friend. Then there is Lo’ak, he is fourteen and the last of the Sully children is Tuktirey she is seven. 

Two years ago me and Spider were given the chance of getting our own Avatar. Spider and I like to call it our True Bodies. But we had to make a big Choice. They could only be done after one another because of the Resources and there is only one Amino-Tank that could be used.

Spider insisted that I get mine first. But if I ever got the Chance to change into it completely I would wait until Spider would too. His True Body is in the Amnio-Tank for Making. It feels weird watching him grow all over again. It is almost at the 14 year old stage. 

So, for a little less than a Year I have my True Body. At first I felt weird in my Body. I was Taller and would still grow. My Body was also on the Heavier side. Which I didn't think was Bad.

Well I’m Blue. My nose, despite looking like one of a Tiger or Cat, was still small. My Eyes are bigger but still Blue. My Hair is a Dark shade of Brown. My Queue is the same colour. The first time I was allowed to connect with the Tree of the Voices was Amazing.

In general, I keep my Hair open with a few Braids that have a few Pearls and Beads, gifts from my Friends and a beautiful Feather, a Gift from Spider, braided in.

Let me tell you the tail was something to get used to. At first I kept hitting people with it. But now I can control it like it’s always been there. The only thing I can’t control is the way the Tip starts to wag, when Spider is Affectionate with me. Which is very Embarrassing. Well, I think it is. He finds it endearing.

Quickly I got used to my Body. How strong I am and how much faster I am. I wear, same to my Human Body, the Traditional Na’vi clothing. I have a Bow and a good Dagger. Two of each that look the same, for my Human Body and my True Body.

After proving myself to the Omaticaya, I got my Own Ikran. I named her Moon.

She gave me a big scar across my Left Eye. I was so Happy that I didn’t lose my sight and its Sight. I'm still not part of the Clan but I'm fine with that.

I don’t spend too much time in my True form. Until Spider gets his I keep my Time limited. I know he envies me for it. I would be too if he would’ve gotten his True body first. But that doesn't get in the way of our Relationship.

A year ago, a new star appeared in the Sky. It meant that the Sky People were back. And they were. The Omaticaya had to move to the Hallelujah-Mountains and so did the Scientists. We build our life in a Cave in the Hallelujah mountains. It’s weird walking past your True Body when it’s sleeping in it’s Hammock.

[heartofasoldier]

welcome to marina, brooklyn mitchell ( cis female, she/her ) ! they are a twenty-eight year old who has lived on the island for twenty-years. word on the street is they’re currently living in tower hill and works as a dance instructor at rose thorn. everyone also says they look a lot like danielle campbell. what do you think?

BIOGRAPHY

Surrounded by her family Brooklyn Oliver never really wanted for much, the unruly boisterous child always following closely in the shadow of one of her siblings. Each seemed to instill a different quality in the impressionable bright eyed girl and for that she would be forever grateful to each. Moving to Marina Island at the age of eight however, the youngest in the Oliver clan would've sworn black and blue that was when her life really begun.

Despite the lack of pressure from her parents, Brooklyn was was always aware that she lacked the same fundamental ambition and drive that would lead each and every one of her siblings into converted careers. In that sense, she was very much the black sheep of the family leaning towards her creative talents in the world of art and dance. Drawing had always brought her about a sense of peace, but dancing, dance was where she really found herself.

At the age of ten she met the ever charismatic boy next door who very quickly became her best friend and at fourteen it was evident to everyone around them that there was more than simply puppy love brewing beneath the surface. Brook believed whole heartedly she had found her soulmate, no so much as bating an eyelid in the direction of another. Queue the one tree hill soundtrack. Getting married at seventeen while it would have been frowned upon by most, it took a small amount of pleading on Brooklyn's part to entice her parents to support her decision. Mateo was already apart of the family in their eyes.

The next chapter of her life was nothing but a whirlwind, embarking through college with her husband at her side, pursuing her dream of becoming a professional dancer; they were able to chase their dreams together, hand in hand. That was until a knee injury had her retiring much earlier than she had anticipated, which lead her into the world of teaching. A decision that worked in their favour given it meant more time at home to try for a family of their own.

It wasn't something she had ever anticipated struggling with, conceiving and yet no matter what they tried nothing seemed to work and slowly but surely a small seed of resentment grew. Towards herself for not being able to do the one thing that she had wanted from the moment they tied the knot. They had careers they both loved, a home to call their own and each other, just not a child.

Then came the divorce of her parents. The one couple she had always looked up to as the epitome of love and all the very personification of soulmates, or so she believed. It was but the icing on the top of an already rocky top heavy cake. For if they couldn't make it, how in the hell could she and Mateo? Overwhelmed, hurting and entirely confused, Brooklyn made the hasty decision to get some space. Packing a bag she left the home they had built together, in an attempt to get her life back on track; leaving behind something she wasn't sure she could salvage.

CONNECTIONS

sister — caroline oliver

brother — jake oliver, zachary oliver

husband — mateo mitchell

best friend —

roommate —

friends —

hookup —

[justasmidgx]

Because people are somehow mad at me for pointing out that this is TERF nonsense and the post is FULL of TERFs (I can go count if you want lmao, I don't block them on here so I can still see all their trash) let me explain a few things

the people saying "but you're a hp blog you don't care about terfs"? if you took two seconds to look at my bio this is a former hp rp blog, from around the time of the first fantastic beasts movie. it was quickly abandoned and it's stated in my bio that i'm too lazy to change it because i'm not putting effort into changing a bunch of shit on a blog i barely post on and mainly use to follow friends and art blogs and rarely post on (i take things i like from my dash here and reblog/queue them on my main blog, i keep a short follow list here so my dash is manageable)

literally the first step to terfism is "men evil" and "sex bad". like that's literally how it starts. and if you talk about men's issues? oh then you're not a REAL feminist, men don't have ISSUES. all men are totally privileged they could never have PROBLEMS. which i feel like i shouldn't have to state the problems with that statement but i do. The patriarchy serves and benefits rich, white, cishet, Christian, conservative men. Like that's basically it. men who are part of minorities get fucked over by the patriarchy, especially in america.

while some of the shit they're saying in that thread is ridiculous, other stuff is just so weird to mock? like you're gonna sit here and INSIST that they guy talking about basically being touched starved is just "an incel made he can't get sex"? not about the fact that humans are a social species that are wired to crave touch. that doesn't mean sex. like for instance as an AFAB person, even when i came out as Not Straight in high school, if I had a sleepover with a friend (all straight girls) we slept in the same bed. That's fairly normal for teen girls. teen boys? not a chance. Men aren't allowed to touch each other unless they want to face homophobic abuse (which is a whole other issue). I've literally seen cis women call men weak or gay becausee they??? hugged a male friend??? meanwhile friends that are girls can cuddle up and watch a movie, hug each other, lay on each other, hell you want honesty? i had a straight friend eat whipped cream off my neck and it wasn't even a big deal. it wasn't "ew i can't do that i'm straight" it wasn't worries about what people would think. it was girls being friends. women and girls are allowed to touch, men? men in america? nah. that's for spouses only, MAYBE children, and if they're lucky they can hug family and not be called slurs. like of course they're fucking touch starved.

what bothers me especially is the amount of people going "omg men don't care about each other because they don't know each other's bdays". guess what? i barely know my FAMILY'S birthdays. don't fucking try to ask my FRIENDS. like sorry, i'm fucking shit at dates i always have been. it took me forever to learn my mom's bday and i still don't remember my dads (i don't spend as much time with him and don't see him on his bday tho so that's kind of why). my grandma's and aunt's i remember easily because of circumstances around their bdays. like you wanna tell me i don't care about people just because i can't remember specific dates very well? fuck off with that

like this post turned out so much longer than i want but it's so fucking weird seeing 80% of the "Reblogs with comments" literally marked red by shinigami eyes (and another 15% just being TERFs that aren't marked as such) and then have someone in the comments trying to claim there's nothing terfy about this attitude towards men. like damn how are y'all treating queer men? or disabled men?

the weirdest fucking thing to me is how men will be like "it's so hard being a man. no one cares that i'm sad. the loneliness we experience could NEVER be understood by a woman" and then also be like "btw i never talk to my friends and i don't know their names and i love hanging out with men because they don't talk about their stupid emotions all the time. women could never understand a bond like this." like ???