#[only•one•of•us•is•getting•out•alive] || important
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐃
╰ SHOW ﹕ ARCANE !
︵ WARNING(S) ﹕╰ swearing ⸝ violence ﹕ sex
︵ relationship ﹕ Vi x fem!fragile!reader x Caitlyn
⟣・S2・HEAVY IS THE CROWN︰
THE SOUND OF screaming could be heard when you had awoken from being on the ground, your hair in a messy style as you couldn’t see your surroundings. was Jayce and viktor okay? was everyone alright? mel..? of course you wouldn’t know, everything in your body hurt, it felt like some sort of piece of metal lodged in your side.
Being a well trained solider had its many perks but you weren’t prepared for this. Of course you weren’t. like they say, the most unexpected things come.
For you though it felt a little far fetched whenever your mom would tell you the stories about the ghost and salem. Where the witch would be haunted down and hunted but towards the end they found her having did no wrong doing.
Sad tale it was. really.
Everything on your body hurt like hell, the only voice you could hear was Jayce’s. was he carrying you and viktor? probably.
That dude had some incredible strength.
JAYCE SITS IN a chair with his head in his hand, looking over at viktor who lays inside the hextech. seeing you and viktor in this condition was tearing him limb from limb, not in a gruesome way but a much more sadder way.
He had hated not being able to protect the both of you, it felt like hell. But you know, some things just come and go…you lay there on a bed with a bunch of iv’s attached to your arms and lower half, your hair was in a messy bun since Jayce had tried thing it himself.
Mel walks inside his office as she takes a look around, her eyes landing on Jayce. “How are they?” She questioned.
“Same as before. They’re both breathing.” Jayce answers in reply, a distressed look on his face. “Their pluses are consistent. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mines.”
Mel walks over to viktor, her eyes landing on the hextech as she starts reaching her hand out with curiosity. When she goes to touch it, it reacts differently with her making her gasp and step back.
“What’s it doing to him?” Mel questions.
“The hexcore has been evolving.” Jayce explains, “shifting through runic patters faster than I can keep up. All I know for certain is that it’s keeping him and her alive.”
Jayce eyes land on where you laid, his heart aching with devastation as he sees you reacting differently to the hextech aside from viktor, your body was rejecting it but also accepting it at the same time.
If it was the only thing keeping you alive he wasn’t gonna mess with it.
“It should be me up there instead of him. I should be laying in that bed instead of her,” Jayce grumbled, gesturing to an unconscious you on the bed barely breathing. “Vi and cait are gonna lose it.”
“Don’t say that.” Mel placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “They’ll both come back to us.”
“I still don’t understand.” Jayce replies. “They were both right next to me. How does the explosion do that to them, and I just…? I just walk out without a scratch? [name] almost lost a hand, my god.”
Mel sighs. “There’s no sense to these things, Jayce.”
The male was quiet for a while before speaking again, “how’d it go with the council?” he asks.
Mel scoffs. “My mother’s entered the game. She’s already gotten her hooks into salo. Using his grief to make a play for hextech.”
“Mel, I promised viktor, never again.” Jayce tells the woman.
Mel places her hand over his. “It’s all right. I handled it. I won’t let them corrupt your dream.”
Jayce looks over at an unconscious you again, before laying his head on mel’s thighs, tears threaten to fall down his eyes but he holds them back.
He just wanted you and viktor back, that’s all.
You were very important to caitlyn and vi after all.
“I should get going now.” Mel says, “you might want to spend some alone time with them.”
With that, she stood up and patted his shoulder one last time before walking out the door. The door slams shut behind her by itself, making Jayce flinch a little.
He feels you stir, his head perks up immediately.
When it does, he saw you already staring at him, a confused look on your gaze.
“What was that about?” You questioned, sitting up with your back pressed against the pillows. It was a little hard to breathe but it was manageable with the breathing machine.
“I don’t even care-- i just-- you’re--?” Jayce launches forward and pulls you into a huge, a huge so tight you had gasped. He wasn’t hugging you too tight as though you couldn’t breathe— he just hugged you with desperation and worry.
“Woah! hey, hey, it’s okay.” You reassured, patting his back. “I’m okay.”
He was so happy to hear your voice.
“ONE OF THE MANY PRIVILEGES OF SERVING AS YOUR COUNCILOR IS HAVING THE OCCASION NOW AND AGAIN TO STAND BEHIND THIS PODIUM TO BEHOLD SO MANY JOINED TOGETHER NOT BY BIRTH OR DICTUM BUT BY ALL THAT WE SHARE.” MEL SPOKE as you stood by the other guards to keep watch, your back was leaned against the wall as the wound with the patch on your side was being healed. Your biceps flexing under the light as your toned abs still hurting from the explosion, but the wounds would heal, you were sure.
You glanced down at the tattoo on your hip and let your thumb graze over it, remembering when it was given.
You see one of the enforcers walk past you, you look them up and down by their attire before your brows furrowed— something felt wrong.
Heading into the crowd you lock gazes with vi, the both of you nodding towards one another before following the enforcer. But another person caught your attention as well, making you turn around and face the other way.
“The hell..?” You whisper lowly.
You push past the crowd of civilians as your hips sway when walking, and you walked with a purpose.
To figure out who the hell these people were.
Walking over to the other enforcers you climbed over the railing, your thighs still hurting but of course you forgot to bring your crutches for support. But it’s whatever.
“Wait, wait, ma’am you can’t--“
“Excuse me, I’m an enforcer too.” You say firmly as your eyes narrowed at the man. “So I can get pass, just like the rest of you.”
“We can’t even go in, so we can’t let you in either.”one of the enforcers replies. “Plus, you’re still injured from the attack so…”
Your piercing (e/c) eyes looked into the man’s brown ones, making his eyes widen a little— least to say, he was intimidated.
“Move, please,” you pleaded this time. “I feel like something is very wrong.”
Caitlyn looks over her shoulder and noticed the panicked look on your face— you would never randomly fuss about anything.
She knew something was wrong.
“Awful, isn’t it?”
Jayce looks over his shoulder when he hears a woman’s voice.
“Losing a loved one.”
When Jayce slowly turns around, the woman slips off her mask as she grabs her chainsaw, swining it at Jayce who barely dodged out of the way quickly.
Everyone starts screaming and shouting, rushing off to find somewhere safe.
“Get all the civilians to safety.” You told the enforcers before turning around to go and find Jayce, your leg still hurting from the explosion. you couldn’t walk around with a weak and injured leg but you thought against it.
“Jayce!” You shouted, searching for him. “Where are you? Jayce?!”
Someone suddenly slams you into a wall, making you hit the solid platform hard. A weak cry of pain escapes past your lips as you slid down the wall, clutching your arm.
Staggering to your knees, you rushed to get away from whatever was chasing you.
Get away, get away, get away
That was just going through your mind.
Something slashes in your back through your coat, “ah!” You shriek as you collapsed to your knees and hit the ground. Back arched as you tried crawling away from whatever had attacked you.
They grab onto your hair, arm wrapping around your neck once they finally got the chance to turn you around, the air in your lungs seemed to have collapsed the second they tighten their large hand around your throat.
You kick and flail your legs around as you gasped for air, eyes heavy and face turning blue as you choked— the breath you were now trying to breathe was very toxic seeping into your nostrils and throat.
You use your fists to hit at the man’s hands, he watched with a sadistic grin on his lips as the life in your eyes were starting to fade.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head as the life in your eyes seemed to have been fading.
“Get the fuck away from her!” Vi shouted as she rushed towards the much bigger man and knocked him in the face with her knee.
You collapsed to the ground, gasping for air as you clutched at your own throat.
Vi rushed over to you with concern, cupping your cheek as she leaned over you. “Are you okay? does anything hurt?”
“Vi?” You croaked weakly, grasping at her wrist.
Vi presses your hand against her fast beating chest, concern wiping her features. “It’s me. It’s me. you’re okay.”
She helps you up, “I’ll be right back. go and try to find cait, okay?”
You nodded before rushing off to find caitlyn.
“Cait!” You called out.
You couldn’t even get as far before you hit the ground, passing out.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
#arcane#reader insert#swearing#fanfic#poly#Jayce#viktor#femalereader#spoilers#vi#caitlyn kiramman#jinx#ekko#x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#vi x caitlyn
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Favourite Batcat quotes in comics:
Bruce to Selina:
There exists such a thing as longing, for two hearts beating across time, space, and dimension, then perhaps she helped provide a beacon. A reason to return. Someone to come back to. - Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Catwoman #1 (2010)
When we kiss the pain goes away - Batman #12 (2020)
Her smell. Chanel. Wet leather. And sweat. I want to get lost in that smell. - Detective Comics #800 (2005)
Nothing matters as long as we're together - Batman Chronicles #11 (2014)
In any world, I love her - Batman #132 (2023)
There has only been one woman who has really held my heart - Heart of Hush (2009)
All I can think about is Selina. Beautiful, fascinating Selina Kyle. - Batman: Black and White #6 (2016)
When I first met you on that boat, the diamond you stole, after I got it back. I bought it. I've had it for years. I knew, even at the beginning. I knew I'd need it. I... I needed it. Just like... I need you. - Batman #24 (2017)
I'd do anything for you. - Catwoman #51 (2023)
She's more important than the galaxies. - Batman #68 (2019)
She's the only one who...who understands what... she knows who I am. What I am. And she loves me anyway. - Batman #15 (2017)
I love you Cat. I always will. - Batman #85 (2019)
Something passed between us - a spark of electricity. The shock of recognition. It was as if I'd suddenly found a part of myself that I never knew was missing. - Batman Chronicles #11 (2014)
Without you, I'm lost - Batman/Catwoman #6 (2020)
When I do let myself dream, Selina...in that life. I'm with you. - Catwoman: Lonely City #3 (2022)
Even in the middle of death and madness she makes my heart skip - Batman #143 (2024)
My world is dust without you - Batman #78 (2019)
Selina to Bruce:
By now we both know we can't stop it. This. Might as well try to stop the planets orbiting the sun. It's more than love. It's gravity. - Catwoman #1 (2023)
You and me. The Bat and the Cat. In the dark making sparks - Batman #392 (1986)
When the world blows up around us we reach out for one another. - Catwoman #58 (2023)
The Bat and the Cat. We are forever. - Batman #85 (2019)
You are part of the night, just like me. We're not afraid of the dark - we come alive in it. - Catwoman #40 (1996)
I'd rather die with you than live without you. - JLA: The Nail (1998)
When I fall he catches me - Batman #37 (2017)
Just for today don't be Batman. Don't be the mask. It's okay to let it go, just for today. You can fall apart, I'll hold you together. - Injustice: Gods Among Us #17 (2013)
I hope somewhere deep down you know I will never let you fall - Detective Comics # 1077 (2023)
I liked the smell of him - leather and sweat - Batman #66 (2019)
I liked how he held me, like he could do anything, but he couldn't let go - Batman #66 (2019)
I love you too, Bruce. Just like a fairy tale, I could live with you in your castle forever. - Batman Returns Comic (1992)
His love is my great escape - Catwoman #58 (2023)
I love you, Bat. I love you so much - Batman #85 (2019)
#feel free to add on#selina kyle#bruce wayne#dc comics#batcat#brulina#dc#batfamily#batfam#batman#catwoman#mine
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Rating TMA Fears
Rating Criteria:
how many shivers i get (shivers)
amount of icks i get (icks)
if i audibly react to it (reactions)
is it cool as fuck (intrigue)
notes deconstructing the fear cus I like to talk about it
These are based off of personal opinion and not factual. Fears definitely effect different people differently.
1.) Buried
Shivers: 5/5
Icks: 3/5
Reactions: 5/5
Intrigue: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: 5
Notes: Before witnessing TMA I did not know I had a fear of being buried alive. TMA taught me the earth can be devious and hungry. When before I viewed it as lovely and protecting. The buried doesn't mean to be deceptive which I think is the most terrifying part. It's alluring petrichor and earth scents are meant to be warnings. Warnings I saw through rose tinted glasses. I used to visit local caves a lot around my local area. I no longer wish to do that anymore. It freaked me out so bad it has irreparably changed my life. Very good writing. It is simultaneously my favorite and least favorite. Well done rusty quill.
2.) Corruption
Shivers: 3/5
Icks: 5/5
Reactions: 4/5
Intrigue: 2/5
TOTAL SCORE: 3.5
Notes: Ew ew ew ew ew ew... Bugs are cool but not in me or my house thanks. Horrible, disgusting, terrible little creatures. Do not touch my skin, thank you. Wonderfully done to put it in the focus of the first season to draw in all the horror fans and cortisol addicts. The corruption puts much emphasis on emotional responses that should not be had in the context they are had in. Love replaces repulsion. Comfort stands while disgust falls. All while it digs in your skin and tears through your life. The desolation destroys your life out of anger while the corruption festers in your bones because of its affection for its victims.
3.) Dark
Shivers: 2/5
Icks: 1/5
Reactions: 2/5
Intrigue: 1/5
TOTAL SCORE: 1.5
Notes: The dark in TMA has only ever spooked me when there was fleshy or stranger bits involved. I do however enjoy the idea that there is something in the dark that's desires are beyond my knowledge. Beyond even the knowledge of the Eye. Not a favorite that I am rather indifferent too. However, there is the interesting theme TMA uses when utilizing the dark. It touches on the concept of what hides in the dark. As well as how it claims those writhing with despairing as it's own and desperately asks them to worship. It begs them to work in it's name. It grasps for control that only the web can have by manipulating hopeless people.
4.) Desolation
Shivers: 2/5
Icks: 2/5
Reactions: 3/5
Intrigue: 3/5
TOTAL SCORE: 2.5
Notes: The desolation comes off as almost helpful in some cases. It causes truths to be revealed but comes with a hint of destructive mystery as well. The fact that it assists the Eye is a fascinating choice of writing that left me wanting more. We have all lost important things to the lightless flame so it is a very relatable entity. The combination of terror and power is a lovely touch drawn by the writers. I do enjoy the gasps I get when skin melts or when the beloved are ignited. Interesting. Almost liberating to be destroyed beyond recognition. Not the spookiest of the lot but still good.
5.) End
Shivers: 4/5
Icks: 1/5
Reactions: 3/5
Intrigue: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: 3.5
Notes: One of my favorites despite its score. I love the motifs of chance and gambling. I love the tendrils. I enjoy that it is a passive entity. It does not need to chase you because you will always run to it regardless of where you go. I enjoy the dream themes as well but I have always enjoyed to concept of dreams. To think when we dream we are grazing the finger tips of the end is delicious to think of. Very mysterious yet so finite and sure. The duality is written perfectly and I honestly wish there were more episodes of this entity. But maybe the mystery of it is what makes it so tantalizing and alluring.
6.) Extinction
Shivers: 4/5
Icks: 1/5
Reactions: 3/5
Intrigue: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: 3.5
Notes: Very close to home for this one. My parents were dooms-day preppers so I'm very familiar with the feeling of mass extinction. I enjoy this one because it comments on how humans have terribly effected our world/civilization. It is a fear we have placed upon ourselves, much like the slaughter. It is not natural for a great change like in TMA to happen without human intervention. Interesting and compelling writing overall but unfortunately does not spook me that much because of my background. I am desensitized to it. Although it is still on the horizon always. Peaking it's head to make us pay for what we have done.
7.) Eye
Shivers: 2/5
Icks: 1/5
Reactions: 4/5
Intrigue: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: 3
Notes: The eye is stimulating. The eye takes a role no other fear takes in TMA. This entity is prideful and almost appears to have a hero complex. It knows all, it sees all. But it doesn't understand all. That is clear whenever the eye interacts with other fears. Particularly the dark or the corruption. It isn't scary because it is watching me. It is terrifying because it thinks it knows what is best for me. Even when it clearly doesn't. The eye and the web sometimes work together for this commonality. It doesn't ick me out to be watched like it once did. The eye may see me. It may know me, but it does not know how I experience things. And despite its seeming all-knowingness. It'll never know everyone's experiences. It just sees them.
8.) Flesh
Shivers: 5/5
Icks: 5/5
Reactions: 4/5
Intrigue: 3/5
TOTAL SCORE: 4.5
Notes: I think this one got me bad for two reasons. The first reason being, body horror. It is intriguing and horrible. The flesh is a reminder that despite our intellect that we are piles of biomass. We can face disfigurement at any turn that can forever change our experiences. The second reason taps into our primal roots of fear. Most animals don't want to be someones lunch and the flesh reminds us of that fear. You are made of the same material as the meat you have on your dinner plate. Our biology is fragile and easily torn. It genuinely makes my stomach sick every time a flesh episode comes up. The only reason this one isn't a 5/5 is because the more I think about it, the less I desire to think about it. Fantastic writing. I will stop thinking about it now.
9.) Hunt
Shivers: 3/5
Icks: 1/5
Reactions: 4/5
Intrigue: 2/5
TOTAL SCORE: 2.5
Notes: The hunt is interesting. It makes me feel similarly to how the desolation makes me feel. It is terror but it is also power. Like the flesh, it sinks into our primate brains and reminds us what it is like to experience being prey. It doesn't often feel great to be somethings food. However, the hunt doesn't just rule the prey. There is horrible panic and dread in being the hunted but there is pleasure and satisfaction from being the hunter. It embodies what it feels like to be the predator. The thill of hunting is truly exciting when you aren't the prey. The power dynamic of being the predator makes you feel sadistic gratification.
10.) Lonely
Shivers: 3/5
Icks: 5/5
Reactions: 2/5
Intrigue: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: 4
Notes: Another fear that calls to my life experiences. To be lonely is to be numb. Apathy is a roadblock for drive. To block drive is to exist adrift to no where with nothing to do. What is the purpose? There isn't one. It is bitter and dissatisfactory entity. The lonely does not scare you until you are in it. Forced to face the fact that without others you are nothing. You are surrounded by people but they care not for your existence. So much to the point where you feel alone despite the people around you. This fear lightly draws from our fundamental human need for companionship. It seems harmless but you won't know it's true horror until you've experienced it yourself.
11.) Slaughter
Shivers: 5/5
Icks: 4/5
Reactions: 5/5
Intrigue: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: 5
Notes: The slaughter has to be my favorite of the entities. It is another fear conjured by humanity. Its existence is evoked by meaningless carnage just for the sake of violence. The imagery of war instruments like drums and pipes give an incredibly cool and eerie vibe. There are NOT enough slaughter themed episodes in TMA. In spite of the minimal amount of time put into this entity the few episodes focused on it are so gorily and beautifully written. The Piper episode is my favorite episode. The imagery that captures "The War" is perfect. The wrath, terror and determined stoicism descriptions will stick with me for years. The slaughter is meaningless and yet it must happen. It must continue. It must bleed.
12.) Spiral
Shivers: 5/5
Icks: 2/5
Reactions: 3/5
Intrigue: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: 4
Notes: I enjoy the spiral for its concepts of unreality. What is, isn't. Insanity has always been a captivating idea. Fractal patterns and impossible realms are fantastical enough to draw me in to engage. Mystery with no answer is alluring to puzzle solvers. The parts of the spiral that infect me with horror are the deceptive friendships. It is a terrible thought to think those who are closest to you are lying to you. It hits very close to home. Gaslighting is terrifying. What are you meant to do besides trust the people you have invited into your circle. Betrayal is a parasite. It feeds off of love and trust. Who can you trust now?
13.) Stranger
Shivers: 5/5
Icks: 3/5
Reactions: 3/5
Intrigue: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: 4.5
Notes: The unknown is the most universally feared entity I think. The stranger is something we have all experienced fear for at least a little bit. Many of us were warned about the stranger as children. The unknown makes us wary and confused. It doesn't gaslight us as much as the spiral but it does lie. It does tell us to ignore the uncanny valley reaction you get when you see it. It is human but isn't. The unfamiliar familiarity in them is the most terrifying. Especially because I don't experience uncanny valley often. Even when I should.
14.) Vast
Shivers: 5/5
Icks: 1/5
Reactions: 3/5
Intrigue: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: 4
Notes: I am already written a paper about the vast. I adore the concept of the void. It does not ick me as much as the other fears because of my massive interest in the concept. It is scary to feel small, it can cause hopelessness. I have found in some people, like myself, it causes euphoria. It relieves the pressures of human life by letting us know those worries that seem so important are actually not really that big of a deal. I think the episodes exploring the concept are beautiful and anxiety ridden. I still think there should be more of the vast in TMA.
15.) Web
Shivers: 4/5
Icks: 3/5
Reactions: 4/5
Intrigue: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: 4
Notes: The web is an entity that easily draws you in with a false sense of security. It allows you to be free of the need to make decisions. It is peaceful to be controlled. Although we are often blinded when we are controlled to the motives of the controller. We are deceived into believing the puppet master means us no harm. You lose who you are as you perform the spiders assignments. You drift away into peaceful sleep. Just to be eaten when you are at your most vulnerable.
#ghost talks#ghost writes#tma#the magnus archives#the buried#the corruption#the vast#the web#the flesh#the hunt#the stranger#the slaughter#the spiral#the eye#the lonely#the extinction#the desolation#the dark#14 fears#tma fears#rating tma fears#writing#rating#tma podcast#the magnus archives podcast#podcast
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May I share some grieving thoughts from someone who has walked this road too many times for folks who may not have been through this before?
It is okay to feel how you feel, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. Your feelings are valid for you, and may not match what others are going through at the same time or at all, and it is okay. The only way out is through. Sometimes all you can do is the next right thing. And that is enough.
It is okay to box those feelings up for short periods of relief: just don’t leave them shoved away permanently. The only way out is through. But taking a time out is okay.
The loss and pain of the moment does not taint the past, in the long term. It may feel like it, but time and perspective will remind you what a gift the journey before was. That joy, love, growth while the person was alive is still valid and important and shaped who you are today. It is okay to celebrate that. It is okay if it is bittersweet. We honor the person by keeping that journey intact. They impacted us, and that is an important thing to honor in their story. Watch the videos. Replay the conversations. Celebrate what was. Don’t give death the power to ruin their positive impact on you.
Just like their absence hurts you, if you fall into being absent in your life because of the pain, you are causing your loved ones that same pain. Choose to honor the deceased’s life by loving yours fully, by being that light you are missing for the people in your life like the deceased was for you. I try to be thankful for the things I get to experience, even without them, because I am going to experience the hell out of them and then someday tell him about all the stuff he missed out on. Even though I believe he is here and sees.
Don’t perpetuate the pain, or initiate a legacy of withdrawal. Pick an honoring activity - for me it is tipping outrageously in their memory and finding joy in the joy they would have found in it. Make it something they championed, or took quiet pleasure in. Keep it to yourself, something between you and their memory. Walk a shelter dog and chat with your person, hide hug rocks, donate read books to the library, serve in a food center. Whatever makes you recall the bond you felt. And love people, for you and for them. The best legacy is one of love and joy, not sorrow and hurt.
Of course, it will be up and down. It strive for the up. Time does heal, and it DOES get better. Don’t let the negative win. Don’t let rot taint their life. OneDirection will never be the same. But it still meant a lot, and that should be honored. It can still mean a lot going forward, and that is honoring.
It has been 5 years since my last big loss. It catches me by surprise sometimes still. But their story is done, and mine goes on: I still reach for the joy I had in getting to be a part of their story. I refuse to lose that too. Because people are involved in my story now. I am still a part of theirs. And I don’t want them to have this hurt of me dropping out of my story: And I let him live on in my adventures, my good work with disadvantaged people, and my love for the people and world I am in. That is the only thing I can still give them, and with time, I am able to do that more and more.
It hurts. It hurts so much. It feels like I can’t breathe, like it overwhelms everything I do, and like I just want to hug his momma so much it causes me physical pain. But each day, it will get a little better. It will blindside you, may catch you by surprise, and that is okay. Because estoy know it won’t be like this forever.
Anyway. I thought grief was a straight line process, and if I power through the stages, it would be done with. That I was betraying their memories by laughing, finding joy, continuing my story. I hope this helps anyone feeling unsure or overwhelmed or lost or guilty.
Thank you for all of this, darling. I'm so sorry you have so much experience with grieving. But your insight is so helpful. ❤️
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Ok So this show is literally called arcane. It's about the magic in this univer and what kick started and all of that fun stuff.
So let's start with the kick off of the arcane and what the little multiversity showed us about it. The two multiverserse are one where the explosion in the building went difrent and the other is where they didn't stop Victor. Let's just focused on the first one rn.
I think that vi and jinx are actuly incredibly important in the start of arcane being developed, and that is becuse they're the one that kind of decied if the hextex survives or not. Jinx and vi are their where Jace studies and than they stex the hex tax and acedently cuse the explosion in one time line vi dies that causes a series of events where powder dosent look more into hextech and what is left gets destroyed leaving the arcane alone but in the one on the show not only did powder take most fo the heteech but she experiments and build with it. This dosent even tuch shimmer and how the underground also built and devolped some form of the arcane with that.
Between jinx and the whole shimmer industry zuan becomes a Stapl in the devolpment and growth of arcane just as much as pullover dose. You see this with how Victor helped treat those with shimmer as well as how jinxedls glitch due to the interaction with shimmer she has( also cool detail of ep9 i interpreted is how when ekko talks jinx out jinxes is clicking with ekko and I think jinxes know and inderstan the is rewinding time to save her) in the end this show is called arcane becuse it explore the magic with in the universe. Though it wasn't as noticeable in season one becuse the magic was still getting devolped as the cities developed.
In the second season you don't get to see just hextex and shimmer, but the black rose as well. That introduces us to what ima call witches. This si important becuse it's a build up for spin of series following Zeeland the black thorn, which. Alot of people were interested even before the series (of my information is right. I also think the director stated this isn't the last project for this universe or LOL this is just the end of the series or smth like that) since season one devolped hextech so much and poeple because so reliant this shows part of the cycle of how it all falls apart, and the danger of being reliable one thing. Witch than look into why it's falling apart and the damaged is caused. If you really want go back what probly started hextex to dissolve like it did was Victor being reanimated. That probly put the sit strain cussing it all to happen.
In the end this show is about the arcane the magic and just what it dose, and who caused. But with all peicedls of society to understand one part of it you must understand all of it so they build up with the steps of the society starting with two sisters on two difrent sides. But on the end this story was nevry truly just about them its about what they started without knowing, and what Jace and ekko worked hard to finsh. Thinking about it jinx and vi never understood their importance they were to caught up in their own drama, but jace and ekko they were faced with their importance and what they had to do or else. For Jace it was showing him his greatest fear destruction, becuse he was the only one who could stop it. For ekko it was showing what it could be, what he could do, but he had to save things first. Witch is perfect becuse Jace as much of a dubel dagger it is alwasy wanted to be the head and face of invasion pushing it forced becuse he knew he could, well ekko just wanted to help where could, happy with supporting cast. And after seeing the arcane in its rarest form they knew how to stop it. Well the sister finished of their drama that alwasy engulfed them.
Jace and victore are probly never going to make an apparent again, but I think they still probaly in the arcane. Well their are bits of proof the jinx did in fact make out alive, but just left the city. this is a show about magic, and the cycles of life.
In the end the cycle came to one last end and it began to start a new. One that won't be easy seen by how salvuc was added to the council. And one what would undoubtedly end just for evrything to start over like Kaitlin speech, but they will try and they will fight, becuse that is what's right. And I also truly don't think jinx, Victor, or Jace is dead
I will fight evryone who think it's poorly done becuse it isn't. You can say you dkt. Like it for what ever reason, but you can not say it is poorly done
Also.im probly not done but I am for today
Ok i keep adding this to the post I reblog, but now ima make my own post
Hello I'm idkimjustexsitujng and welcome to my fucking ted talk this contains arcane spoiler,and misspelling, please enjoy
Arcane is beautiful it is bitter it is realistic it highlights what is it to be human, to try and strive for better to get stuck in a cycle and not escape. It cycle through evrything well conveying just what it's doing. The animation is beautiful and amazing and they convey so much with so little. The animator the righter they are all amazing.
I hear they're getting hate from the second season (I have not seen it personally), but all the things they do all the unsaid thing left make arcane even better for me
Finishing the series showed me just how much arcane did to keep it all human. How Victor and Jace talk about it in the final(?) Episode summed it up beautifuly for me. Humans are complex self sabotaging creatures, and theirs so many things and ideas out their And in difrent shows that try and show what makes a human human, and I think arcane unconsciously (or extremely consciously given the hours of detail they put into this beautiful masterpeice) succeeded in that. They showed us that humans are animals who are not just in it for surviving but for ceriousituy, not only do they focused on surviving they foucuse on surviving wellbuilding luceries to make life easier, the look analyzie and take what around them and think what if. They show us just how humans observe the world around and add it themselves how they keep those small thing living. The cycles each and evry chacter live through and repeats ( powder deing twice as I say but it's not just powder it someone loving their family so much they they give life its self for them becuse they beilive in them). How humans can grab the smallest sign a trait that their mom did or freinds did and keep them( lines mom used to put a peace sign on her head and in the first season during jinxes fight with ekko where we see powder doing the same symbol just like her mom.) How evryone has their own idea on the chapters and just like them evryone has their own ideas of us. And they final episode shows that with poeple discussing if jinxed sacrifice was in her character devolment or not.
I don't think jinxes sacrifice was a good thing, though. Personally, I don't like her going into that so soon after she git talked out her own suiced. And i read on a post that jinxes decided to live to honor the sacrifices already made (specifcly by isha) she was given hope one more time. I think she had a plan on getting out. That's my hope at least
I defebitly have more to say but this ramble just off the top of my head and please tell me euat ypu think agree, disagree. random or not. I feel and think so much rn I wanna hear what evryone else has to say.
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Before I had Sunny, I had a rabbit... His official name was Eddy, but he went through many names in my friend group
The names were: Kirishima, Springtrap and lastly Springkiri
Some pictures of him and a funny pic of Sunny
(A sad thing from here on)
So Eddy sadly passed away on 16th May 2022 while I held him. I bawled my eyes out when I realized he passed and literally couldn't go to school the next day because I was grieving so much. He was my childhood pet. He was 12 years old! Also he decided to pass before my birthday (21st May). I miss him very much
Now let me tell you, in February, the year (2022), he decided to jump from my arm because he was not happy about him getting his nails trimmed and fell on his side! He broke his fucking leg and was too old for operation because he wouldn't handle the amnesia. His leg was fully healed in April. You know he ran around, had fun with his toy, and played as if he was young again... Just to pass in May.
Now, to cheer you up, Sunny has the SAME sleeping spots as Eddy did. She also has similar running habits and such things as Eddy did. Now I think here Eddy's ghost was like 'Let me teach you cat' when she arrived at home and I like that!
Sorry for the kind of sad ask :(
AWWW eddy has such a lovely pelt pattern 🥺 and no worries about this being a Sad Ask: it'd be even more sad if you werent willing to share memories of him- he was still a little darling in your life, so i'm happy to hear bout both the good and bad bout him! so sorry to hear he passed right before your birthday tho.. 😭 at the very least, im sure he passed knowing how loved he was- and still is :]
ANND that's so cute sunny sleeps in his old spot now 🥺
#snap chats#we can celebrate eddy even if he's gone that's what love is about !!!#if it's anything i lost my childhood dog- zakk- about two years ago in february#he was only really close with my mom so he waited for her to come home before going up to her room#didnt take long for us to hear her scream and find him dying in her arms#whats darkly funny is that he's never really liked me and bit me a lot#we were hanging out on the couch when he signaled he was trying to get down and yk. Hes Old so i went to pick him up#but the jackass BIT ME and now i got a scar on my hand#funny enough i was trying to get close to him and my mom while he was passing and he tried to bite me AGAIN He Did Not Like Me#maybe he was just trying to make sure he was with my mom til the end tho idk ... all i know is that i love telling the story bout my scar#its a small one but so was he so. fittin innit#in any case ! dont worry bout feelin bad or melancholy sharin the memory of your lovely: its important to keep them alive that way#even if theyre sad and the sort#to end this tag ramble on a lighter note. sunny sit PROPER young lady im CRYING why she sit like that ... i love when cats cant sit normal.
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Hey not to make a political post but does it ever feel like we can just never win and the suffering will be forever and we're always going to have to fight with moments of peace being fleeting and not worth looking forward to
#behind the tent#neg#current events#the worst man alive got shot and lived#if he DOES die he will be martyred . we will be considered a violent threat . the right will revolt#if he DOESNT die he will martyr himself as a survivor . we will be branded as violent and worth stamping out . we're going to be killed#moments of celebration do not last#two innocent people died as a result#and we couldnt even fucking kill trump immediately#and joe biden aint much better!!!#and halfway across the globe innocent families are being ripped apart in the name of an ethnostate and by god Im not letting myself give up-#-hope for them . Im not allowed to feel hopeless for them .#but fuck if the knowledge in my mind every waking day doesnt add to it#and neither of our politicians care!!! and of course the entire fucking world ends up dictated by the whims of the US anyways so the fact#they dont care is crucially fucking important!!#And my right to live and exist in this country will probably be wiped away entirely in a couple of years when I just barely got to taste it#there's a chance I could be hatecrimed next time I walk out the door#And maybe its the ahedonia since childhood speaking too but I'm starting to not see the point !!!!! what is the point !!!!#the fact there ARE people who care about me is the only fucking reason I'm not gonna end it all tomorrow! I swear to god!#And at this point I am waiting for this to finally fucking affect me personally so I can have an excuse to fucking feel that way!#I feel so fucking selfish for being so suicidal when I've been one of the lucky ones but god its not gonna get better is it?#everyone encourages radicalization and change . demands it . begs for it . but it hasnt happened! it will Never happen!#my only god damn choice is to let it lead to despair!#suicidal ideation cw#God I wish I had access to hard drugs
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The thing about the lateral aggression I see in trans communities is that it's everywhere. All the time I see people parroting this idea that trans woman = most oppressed, trans man = spoiled manchild that never has any problems ever. And it's pretty disturbing how many people I've seen regurgitating it. People I cared for. People I trusted.
Did you know that transmasculine people have the highest chance of being a sexual assault victim? Higher than cis women, trans women, or cis men? But certainly that's nothing, right? Certainly that sort of trauma isn't the thing that irreversibly damages you, makes it harder to make life worth living?
Do you really think invisibility is a privilege? That being forgotten and ignored is beneficial? The last 12 months have been the worst of my life, and I've had the least support that I've ever had. Even my biological family has fucked off. The only thing keeping me from offing myself is the knowledge that it would leave my partner abandoned and unsupported. But surely I'm just being dramatic, right? Somewhere out there is a trans woman who has it harder than me, so how dare I complain.
The thing about suffering is that it's not readily quantifiable. It all sucks. It literally all sucks, all the time, and people can have the exact same amount and kind of suffering and be affected by it completely differently. It's utterly pointless to try to create some sort of hierarchy of most oppressed and we know this. We've known this forever. We literally have a term for it (oppression Olympics). We know that it's counterproductive and pointless to lash out at people on the same sinking ship as us because, well, MY end is lower in the water than YOURS so YOU don't get to talk about your problems. In fact HOW DARE YOU coin a term for the problems facing you, that makes you exactly the same as a TERF.
It's so fucking bleak out here. We could ALL be talking about our problems without demanding silence from others while we do it. We could be building solidarity with people who have different experiences, acknowledging those differences without trying to rank them, and give everyone space to be heard. There shouldn't be imposed scarcity of compassion - but there is, from people who claim to be compassionate, who claim to care about the struggles of people not like them. Not really though. Not unless you're the Right Kind of oppressed.
Today my social circle gets a little smaller. The world gets that much more hostile. And the noose of isolation tightens around my neck that much more. And somewhere, someone will find a vent post that I made while trying not to be another trans su|c|de statistic, and use that as proof that transmasculine people are a Lesser Breed of trans and don't deserve support, acknowledgement, or the ability to name & talk about our problems.
#Suicide mention#Rape mention#Vent post#Made unrebloggable because I've seen the shit people get up to#Also just going to put the disclaimer here for the piss on the poor reading comprehension havers#No fucking where in my post did I say this was the fault of trans women#This sort of lateral aggression happens across the community regardless of gender#I've seen plenty of transmascs vehemently asserting that none of us are oppressed or face unique struggles#And further: I'm not saying that trans women/femmes don't face unique problems either#They do. We all do. And everyone should have space to talk about theirs.#And no one needs to make a hierarchy out of it. Period. The end.#Do not come for me putting words in my mouth saying that I think transmisogyny isn't real or whatever#It is. I'm aware.#But it's not the only form of oppression that exists nor is it the most important nor can you even declare unilaterally#That there's some kind of ranking system whereby we decide who's really got it rough and who's just being a faker#Bitch that's just slapping fresh paint on an already existing system of garbage. You're not smooth or clever.#You're not making groundbreaking analyses of and methods for dealing with oppression.#You're just pointing the shit cannon at a different target.#And tbh. If you want to come in there with that t/m/a t/m/e bullshit: don't.#Just block me. I have nothing to say to you and nothing I want to hear from you.#I'm tired. I've been fighting to keep myself alive for too long and I'm tired.#I don't owe you shit.#I don't owe you a platform. Or my limited energy. Or my limited time.#And I certainly don't owe you a justification for why this hurts and why I'm not putting up with it.#Literally just fuck off
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like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.
#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him#they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever.#like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do#and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways#they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and#they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like#they have something he needs and he has something they want#animal sir chloe style#but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass#and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it.#these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh#and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically#they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in#control + being the one who leaves#and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that#you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it.#fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there#but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle#but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more#more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point#anyways. my fishy#🐟#they have every disease
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worst way to love someone is quietly/////////////
#remember when we made a marriage pact#remember when you were the only thing that kept me alive. when i was lying on that hospital bed in the er#and you were the only one who knew bc i was afraid to call my parents#we used to be the only ones there for each other#remember driving three hours in silence listening to graceland and knowing we were both thinking it#remember when you . literally taught me how to play guitar#remember the smoke signals. how we sent messages through everything#remember that night at the motel we were all in c's room talking and you put your hand on my back#and then we laid beside each other whispering about how relationships dont make sense#and you fell asleep first and i went under the covers and got really close to your back to feel your body heat#remember how lonely we both were before#i wrote in my journal that loving you was the most important thing that had ever happened to me#and you loving me was the only thing i had ever worked for and earned#and id stay alive to get us both out of here. id write that album and youd be lead guitar and i owed you that#and when you moved away it was the worst thing#you got the high and low of my life.#you were afraid to tell me you were leaving and i accidentally found out when your mom told mine and#i got so sick immediately#but then you came back to me#anyways after all this#yeah whatever me neither#i wouldnt have done it any other way and theres no other way it couldve went down#neither of us couldve been louder#thats how it happens i guess
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They did Ryuki so dirty in aini and I’m gonna be salty about it for the rest of my life I think
#aitsf#ai nirvana initiative#kuruto ryuki#like cannot emphasize how they just did not use him in the second half of the game#and i dont wanna diss the mizuki side cuz i honestly really loves it and i love her so much but just like#why did they even make ryuki in the first place if theyre gonna cut him off like that#and same with tama too its like you spend this game getting attached to these two really good characters and then its like ha fuck you!#and then all the stuff thats ACTUALLY important to the plot and the case begins#they dont even have like a moment where ryuki can feel relief at date being alive like dude#they like. this guy drinks himself into oblivion and goes insane over the death of a man he loved whose death he blames himself for#and the game cant even give these two characters like even a kinda touching reunion they just straight up DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE IT AT ALL#which dates role in the game in general i think was also done dirty but i digress#like yeah okay sure just have almost all of ryukis motivations revolve around date and wanting to become worthy of him#and ���then go eh whatever anyways#oh and then have ryuki literally get shot at the end protecting date cuz thats how much he loves him and just like. they barely even care#date is literally the only person that seemed to have acknowledged it happened but it was literally like#oh no!!!! ryuki is literally bleeding out uwaaa!!! anyways#i used this card hesitantly with pewter after finishing ai1 but fuck it ill say it with my full chest this time#im calling homophobia here like come on you cant ignore this one#sorry to pewter and ryuki for both being canon gay and really interesting characters but the game doesnt care about you 😔
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Take a shot for every time I use an unnecessary comma. I don't recommend this, as you are sure to die of alcohol poisoning before you finish the first paragraph.
#me? writing a tumblr post to avoid the work i need to be doing? it's more likely than you think#if you've read any of my posts then you know im working on a very important project and have been for the past 1.5 years#(unrelated but im at a coffee shop and really need to use the bathroom but someone has been in there for like an hour)#so far i'm the only person (except my two siblings who helped me with some formatting and made sure all of my links work) that has seen it#but now... the time has come for me to share it with all of the relevant people#that's like... eleven people?#they're all very important people and uh#one of them is a person i can no longer speak to and honestly shouldn't contact in any way. but here i am playing with fire#maybe fucking up this nonexistent relationship by breaking our promise not to contact each other#messing up any possibility of us having a relationship again#but yknow it's very possible we'd never have a relationship again anyway#and she deserves to see this project so uh. guess ill do it and maybe regret it for the rest of my life#and now im going to offer up this piece of my soul to people who may judge or hate it#or who may judge or hate me#this project has been the reaon i stay alive for the last 1.5 years. the reason i get out of bed. the reason i leave the house#what happens when it's done? when i have no more of it to work on?#im finally sharing it because it's reached the end of what i can do for awhile#im effectively done#now what do i do with my life?#im sending it out today or tomorrow and then... i dont know#if any of yall have watched psych. yknow the yin yang trilogy? yknow when yang is caught#and Mary says hes spent the last 15 years pursuing yang? and now he doesnt know what he's going to do?#thats me right now
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Something really amazing happened in France, and I think it'd help us in the US to learn about it. Forgive the long read, but I think this is genuinely great both because of what happened and how.
So as some of you might have seen, in a decision historians will debate for years (mostly to figure out just WTF he was thinking, even though he is alive right now and can be asked), the French president, Emmanuel Macron, currently in power and THREE YEARS before the scheduled election, seeing the far right rise in popularity decided to dissolve the assembly and hold snap elections.
577 seats were up for grabs. Remember that number. Since half of that is 288.5, 289 seats are needed for a majority.
The first round happened last week and boy, was it bad. The far right made HUGE gains. It won or was in first place in so many races. And Macron's party ended up third!
Overall, this is how things ended up after the first round:
Far right bloc: 33%
Left bloc: 28%
Macron's centrist party: 20%
Conservatives: 7%
The way the French system works is that if a candidate gets over 50% of the vote, they win outright, and some of the far right did manage that. But, many races went to a runoff.
Immediate projections after were that the far right bloc might win anywhere from 240 to 310 seats, a catastrophe.
A shameful swing to the far right leading to the first time they'll be in power since the 1940s? Yes, but maybe not??
This is where things get interesting.
Unusually, a lot of these runoffs are 3-way, instead of a simpler 2-way choice. And in pretty much every case, that helps the far right.
So on June 30th, the night of the first round, this is how things went down:
Immediately, the left parties put out the call: anywhere they were third, they withdrew and their voters would go over to whoever was running against the far right candidate. Their goal: form a "republican front" to block the far right. The far right cannot get 289 seats.
Macron's bloc was not so...motivated. Different people put out different instructions: in some places, if they were third, they should drop out, but only to help the center left, not far left, in other places, see how far you are, only then drop out, that kind of thing.
The conservative party simply said they won't drop out and won't give their voters instruction either way in races they're not involved in.
Late night developments:
More people in Macron's party are now beginning to realize the situation and starting to coalesce around whichever candidate can beat the far right one. Prime Minister Gabriel Attal, from Macron's party, says clearly the priority is to block the far right. BUT, some Macron spokespeople on TV say they'll form a coalition only with the center left and conservatives, splitting the left bloc if needed. Some individual Macronists still saying they won't drop out, even if there's no hope of winning.
Lol.
So, now July 1st:
Only half so far. In one race, where the sister of Marine Le Pen (the far right leader and the face of their movement) was leading, the third place Macronist refused to bow out.
Excellent quote from another Macronist:
Perhaps realizing the same thing, that Macronist in the race against the Le Pen sister now drops out.
In some places, third place Macronists are dropping out DESPITE Macron bewilderingly telling them NOT to?
Halfway through the day:
Of the 311 3-way or 4-way runoffs, the number is down to 135 because of these candidates dropping out: 121 Left, 56 Macronists, 1 conservative.
Oh, there was this, in case people had any doubts about how terrible the far right are:
And to show the selflessness of the left:
July 2:
The deadline to decide if they want to stay in a runoff is today.
A dozen new third place Macronists who said they'd stay in have now dropped out. One got a call from both the PM Attal AND Macron to drop out, signalling the dawning understanding of the importance of this moment.
Even some conservative party members are now backing the left candidate who faces the far right.
A Macronist who had 30.55% of the vote in the first round and came in third to the far right's 33.11% and left's 32.73% and who would have been tempted to stay has dropped out.
The deadline to stay in or not has now passed.
Look at these far right shenanigans!
Macron still being a freaking loser:
July 3rd:
In the end, of the 311 3- or 4-way run offs, only 91 left. Some polls come out that have the far right getting between 190 to 220 seats.
July 4th:
New polls say the balance of the voting itself isn't transferring between the left and center and predictions have risen for the far right, now predicted to get between 210 and 250 seats.
July 5th:
New polls again, left voters now predicted to do better transferring vote to the centrists, decreasing the far right projections again.
However, scandalous reporting emerges: while Attal was trying to fend off the far right, Macron was not only NOT taking the far right seriously, he was undermining efforts to defeat them. His team shrugged off the first round results and celebrated a BIRTHDAY as the results were still coming in?
July 6th:
A few runoffs happened yesterday, nothing much unexpected, some left and center wins.
July 7th:
The day of reckoning. At this point, the expectations are that the far right won't come close to that 289 number but could still easily have the most seats.
GUYS.
It's over and the left are in the lead!
A LOT of cases where a leftist or centrist was 2nd in the first round and now won.
Amazing:
SO many lessons to take from this.
First, you have to vote! You have to. You can't do anything without voting. The freaking French, who'll protest for anything, are showing up to vote. If you're trying to achieve any kind of result and it's not going to happen by January 2025, you have to vote now.
But just as importantly, the left and center (and even conservative) parties made very key decisions. They were all lucky that Attal, who Macron chose, saw the big picture, bigger than indeed Macron could. A stupid selfish centrist leader could have still ruined everything if it were up to him.
TL;DR: After a disastrous first round in the national French elections where the far right was on the cusp of taking power, the left and center formed a strong coalition and through the power of voting and unity, overcame the far right AND their selfish centrist president to win.
#french elections#us elections#emmanuel macron#marine le pen#gabriel attal#attal really did the thing for them#french politics
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i had a good day i like having things to do but unfortunately i have just remembered i am insane</3
#currently. in this moment#currently i can't stand the enorrrrmous gap between what i recognize as good writing + how committed i am to improving the skill#(not very) (i am not committed i have never committed or honed any skill as it's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in)#(or let me rephrase that i feel unusually insecure and existentially threatened when i have to start from zero and make mistakes)#(which is basically all of life. so it's abnormal i know it is. but it's where i am right now and i'm not climbing out of this one anytime#soon)#so listen i didn't sign up for this. i don't even want this really and i double triple quadruple don't want rules and advice and#indirect criticism. the latter no one at all on planet earth can avoid bc every sentiment and opinion expressed can reflect on you in a way#where was i what gap. right so i am not actually disciplined or motivated to learn/discover/get better at creating something#so that's the gap‚ i know what i should be trying to do or what i should want or what i should strive for. i know why. i see i hear#i understand#it's just that‚ i am aware that psychologically that is not in my best interest#like long-term it is but in actuality it isn't. d'you know what i mean?#but i have my compulsions. and those don't care they operate on a different level#so there is a bit of an opposition. so what happens‚ and this is the important part‚ what happens is i do it and i feel bad.#unless i close my eyes and ears. and i feel bad right now#and i'm bummed#and then i question everything and wonder why i'm alive#and i said insane because if i didn't have compulsions and obsessions? if i lived a real tactile present life. day to day and only cared#about how i can improve my life and the lives of others. and how i can become useful#directly. if i was someone who could access that. then i wouldn't have this problem#i know this sounds like “if i was different i would be different which would be good”. and that is exactly what i'm saying yeah#so this is my journal entry for today. i felt good when i was doing something simple for 9 hours and then i 🧠made myself feel bad#kata.txt
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It's that time of year again where Mari Lwyd starts to be talked about and shared around and an INCREDIBLY misleading post gets shared a lot. As someone who grew up with Mari Lwyd I wanted to clear some things up.
Also hello, if you are unaware who Mari Lwyd is. This is about the Welsh tradition of the horse skull who visits houses during the Christmas to New Years period in Wales asking for alcohol.
First off and probably the most important one:
Mari Lwyd is not a cryptid!
I can not emphasise this enough. She. Is. Not. A. Cryptid. There is no story or mystery about a ghost or zombie horse roaming the Welsh valleys. She's not even supposed to be a ghost or a zombie. It's just a horse skull on a stick with a guy under a sheet. She's a hobbyhorse and a folk character used to tell Welsh stories and keep songs alive. When people spread the misinformation that she's a cryptid, it's the equivalent of saying Kermit the Frog is a cryptid.
She is actually only one character in a wider cast of characters who go door to door or, in more modern times, pub to pub. The cast of characters can change town to town and village to village but there are some common ones I see time and time again. The Leader, the Merryman, The Jester and The Lady are just some I see regularly. Punch and Judy used to be more popular a few years ago but I haven't seen them in a while as their tradition has mostly fallen out of popularity. In most cases, almost the whole cast will be played by men. Even the characters are considered and referred to as female. Though this again depends and varies by which group is partaking in the Mari Lwyd tradition.
This point also goes onto my second point,
Mari Lwyd does not rap.
I think this comes from a very common misunderstanding of what rap is vs spoken word. Rap is a very specific style of music originating from the African American communities of the USA and has it's own structure and motifs unique to it. It's a lot more complex than people give it credit for as a style of music and just flippantly assign anything similar to it as being rap. If someone is talking fast or reciting poetry, it is not rap. Or anything that is an exchange of words between two people is not a rap battle. Mari Lwyd does not do rap, actually something that gets left out of these posts is the fact Mari Lwyd does not even speak. It's actually the Leader, who does all the speaking and song based banter between the house/pub owner for entry. Mari Lwyd just clicks her mouth, bites people and bobs her head around.
I think Mari Lwyd is a really beautiful and unique part of Welsh culture. She's not actually as wildly celebrated as a lot of the posts make her out to be. Actually, I think most Welsh people themselves learn about Mari Lwyd through the internet as well. Her popularity is increasing thanks to the drive of local groups wanting to keep the traditions alive and a renewed desire to document Welsh traditions before they're gone. Which is why it's such a shame that she's turned into something she's not to earn horror points on the internet. I think this is why it bothers me so much to see the misunderstandings of the culture and the folk tradition. Mari Lwyd's origin is very hot debated as well as how long it's been going on for. But I think it's thanks to a lot of traditions like this that the Welsh language and our stories weren't lost forever. Welsh culture is recovering as is the language. But it's still in a very fragile place. I think it's why it's important to document and correct information when it's spread.
Anyway, if you want to see the tradition in action, here's a lovely video from the Cwmafan RFC going to one of the pubs for charity. It includes the song exchange with the pub owner for entry and the whole pub singing and joining in once Mari Lwyd and the rest are inside.
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As well with another video from St Fagan's showcasing the more traditional and door to door form with the larger cast.
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#dunmeshi analysis#I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you#and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of#but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can#dungeon meshi spoilers
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