#[i̷ ̷f̷e̷e̷l̷ ̷t̷h̷e̷i̷r̷ ̷h̷a̷t̷r̷e̷d̷ ̷c̷o̷v̷e̷r̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷m̷e̷] v; pre-despair / akihiko

[rxg-txg-blog]

@thenotesofaveryoddgirl said: "What makes you think that this stupid idea makes any sense? Your death is not for the best, Yuno-san. How can it be for the best?"

“Because I’m a u-useless piece of t-trash who should have s-st-starved to death, or bled out, l-long ago! I shouldn’t be alive, m-making things difficult for everyone. I-I mean...”

“I deserve it.”

[rxg-txg-blog]

are you bleeding? (for anyone you want)

I can’t find the meme oops | @shsladvicecolumnist

Akihiko flinched when he heard what the other… person asked, heart stopping for a few moments more than it really should. His shoulders shook a little from the stress of someone just asking that, out of the blue, and he snuck a look at his sleeve. Surely enough, a small patch of red had started to appear, stark against the pale fabric. 

There was a word for this situation: Shit. He only really had one option, and that was to deflect. It wasn’t like this stranger really cared, anyway…

“Oh, s-so I am!” He began, his faux surprise forced and not very convincing, “I, uh… Better g-go clean it up.”

“Th-thank you.”

[rxg-txg-blog]

‘Shhh it’s okay’ - SoaringPilot-and-LittleWing (Take your pick =D)

Send in ‘shhh it’s okay’ for your muse to comfort my muse after they were crying | @soaringpilot-and-littlewing​

Akihiko hated himself so completely in that moment, tears streaming down his pale, sallow cheeks as his guardian angel tried to comfort him. He wasn’t even sure what really set him off; perhaps it had been hitting his arm against the desk? His cuts reopened, bleeding through his shirt, and Tomoyo had seen it. 

It wasn’t the pain, it was shame. Only pathetic idiots did this, right? It was what he was, but she was so perfect… He bundled together those broken parts and tried to shut them away. Not that it worked well, but… He’d at least tried. This was something more that proved he was a failure. 

“I… I’m so s-sorry, Tomoyo-san!” He choked out between sobs, shame and disgust burning his cheeks red.

“I must be s-such a disa-a-app-pointment…”

[rxg-txg-blog]

(Flirt anon hit!) Tomoyo: *flirty smile at Akihiko* I really want to kiss you right now~

@soaringpilot-and-littlewing

Akihiko swore the breath was knocked out of his lungs when he heard those words, as if he’d been punched in the stomach in the best way possible. Of course he thought Tomoyo was attractive - who wouldn’t? - but he was… himself. Ugly and disgusting. 

“I-I couldn’t s-subj-ject you to that, Tomoyo-ch-chan,” He breathed, even if he wanted to take up the offer. Wanted to do things to her that would probably make her puke, just knowing he thought about them. Because he wasn’t deserving. 

“It was a f-fu-funny joke…”

[rxg-txg-blog]

@pxlotspeaking | continued from here

Shigeru and Masahiko were interrogating each other, Akihiko was quiet, and suspiciously in a dress with a similar style himself. He walked passed the arguing boys and up to Satoshi. He fluttered his mascara coated lashes, at the other boy, eyes wide and nearly innocent.

“You look very l-lovely in that, s-senpai...”

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@kikothepianist liked this post for a starter with Akihiko

“See how the game of life is playing all of us for fools! Dancing a string around us, making all these silly rules. See how he looks down on us like we're acting out a show!”

“Throw the dice and let's see which head will roll...”

[rxg-txg-blog]

@thenotesofaveryoddgirl liked this post for a starter with Akihiko

“Supermarket, oh what packet of crackers to pick? They're all the same, one brand, one name, but really they're not. Look, look, just choose something quick - People are staring, time ticker-quicking.”

“Cheeks are on fire; just choose something, something, something...”

[rxg-txg-blog]

@soaringpilot-and-littlewing liked this post for a starter with Akihiko

“Wait a second, let me catch my breath. Remind me how it feels to hear your voice. Your lips are movin', I can't hear a thing...”

“Living life as if we had a choice...”

[rxg-txg-blog]

37.

Send me the word “prompt” and i’ll randomly generate a starter based off one of the following words | 37. Hurt | @shymaru

Akihiko… couldn’t really stand up. 

He was seated at a table in the cafeteria, a plate of lettuce and cucumber that was still… mostly full in front of him, as well as a wrapper for a granola bar that he managed to choke down. He wasn’t hungry, the pangs having faded to a dull ache over the last few days; he couldn’t really bring himself to eat.

He usually experienced pain when walking, a side effect of not getting enough nutrients, as well with how bone-thin his legs were anyway. However, this was the first time he hurt so much and was too weak to even stand from his chair. It… scared him. It made him feel weak and pathetic. Luckily, however, beautifully cruel Ishimaru-senpai wasn’t too far away.

“I-Ishimaru-senpai…” He whispered harshly, shame-faced and with a few tears in his eyes, “I-I don’t w-wa-want to bother you b-but… could… could y-you…”

“H… Help me… st-stand up…”

[rxg-txg-blog]

Meido! - thenotesofaveryoddgirl //You pick. Naomi will be busy mocking.

Send “meido!” to make my musewear a maid costume | @thenotesofaveryoddgirl

Akihiko’s cheeks were dusted with pink as he stepped out of the bathroom, the dress feeling a little too short in places, but… comfortable. He was embarrassed, but this was the whole reason why he likes skirts, dresses and frills; they made him feel pretty. Like someone else, who wasn’t ugly and sick and awful. 

The hemline fell just below mid-thigh - which he felt was too revealing, being from a conservative household - but his legs were covered by white tights. Opaque, perfectly hiding skin, cuts and band-aids. The sleeves were long, too, and a pretty apron completed the ensemble, along with sensible heels. He wasn’t wearing the headband, but Kizakura-san only told him to put on the dress.

A small smile graced his lips, hands clasped, and he took a deep breath.

“D-do I look… n-nice?”

[rxg-txg-blog]

@pxlotspeaking | continued from here

Akihiko wasn’t crying, or shaking. He didn’t even look visibly upset, sitting at his desk while writing the last words anyone would ever hear from him. It looked more like stoic determination, perhaps. Possibly a little like dissociation. He just went about it calmly, not seeming like someone about to commit suicide – because he wasn’t.

“It’s j-just in case,” He informed, pen still trailing ink over the paper. His voice was far away, mouth moving but not really connected to him. Definitely dissociated, then.

“I d-don’t want to be without one i-if I did try…”

[rxg-txg-blog]

✥ (to Aki, probably, because this would have the best reaction out of the three I'm interacting with) -thenotesofaveryoddgirl

Baby take off all your armour |✥ - Popping a button on their shirt, showing their chest / a bit of cleavage | @thenotesofaveryoddgirl

Akihiko was getting more used to Naomi’s presence in his life, not that it’d be obvious to the casual observer. He was still skittish, still thought she was too worthy to spend time with the likes of him, but it was different. More comfortable. He felt less like he should claw at his own skin to remind himself that he didn’t deserve it, a punishment for taking her away from others.

Still, with that button undone… He was a mess. His words - his breath - stuttered to a stop, mouth dry, eyes drawn to the sight of her… her cleaving. It was only a little, barely noticeable; it wasn’t like that girl in the 78th class who went around flashing her bra at people. It was just enough…

“Sorry!” He suddenly yelled, turning away, “You c-can hit me, if you’d like! Please, I need t-to be c-corrected!”

“I-I’m a p-pervert!”

[rxg-txg-blog]

"A-aki! P-please do not s-sit on my p-papers... G-goodness..." He stated as he sighed softly and attempted to move the small kitten that was mewing and batting at his shaking hand. -shymaru

@shymaru

“AH! B-but, Ishimaru-senpai, I-I’m not -! Oh.”

“You’re t-talking to… that…”

[rxg-txg-blog]

❝If only you saw yourself the way I see you.❞ (to akihiko) -thenotesofaveryoddgirl

Self-harm starters | @thenotesofaveryoddgirl

Akihiko stared at the new bandage, blood already starting to seep through the gauze. It was a little too deep, a little too close, yet not close enough. If he’d pressed a little harder, he could have passed out - could have not woken at all. That would be much easier than this conversation. 

“I-I know what I a-am…” He sighed, turning to Naomi.

“I know I d-deserve this.”

[rxg-txg-blog]

@pxlotspeaking | continued from here

Akihiko couldn’t help it, someone like Satoshi-senpai was so… perfect. So beautiful and perfectly cruel, he was in awe of him. He lavished his attentions on him, worshipped the ground he walked on, but it seemed he still wasn’t quite aware of his affections. That didn’t matter, however; Senpai shouldn’t know. It’d only disgust him, and he wanted to stay by his side.

However, when Satoshi said that he should be bowing to disgusting Akihiko, he looked at the other in shock. Well, yes… He hadn’t killed himself yet… But wasn’t that a sign of cowardice? Of shame? He should erase his existence from this world! However… Satoshi-senpai was bowing to him for it…

“You are so perfectly cruel, Satoshi-senpai…” He murmured, tears of happiness glistening in his eyes.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

[rxg-txg-blog]

“Call my man again and Imma fuck you up! And Imma fuck you up, and Imma fuck you up! Touch my man again and Imma fuck you up!”

“And Imma fuck you up!”