#[i quit choir out of spite to my dad. it felt great but it was my outlet so ☹️]

[fishoutoflovebeach]

thought about getting back into singing again. like professionally this time

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 39

39: Home

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by:  Paris Barclay

Overall Thoughts: Here we have yet another season one episode that I basically totally forgot about, and which I enjoyed a lot more than I thought I would. There’s actually a lot more that I like about this episode than things I dislike, which really surprised me considering I placed it pretty low in my pre-watch ranking. I feel like all I remembered of this episode was the Will storyline, and somehow forgot all the amazing Kurt, Mercedes, Quinn, and Finn stuff. It really is an amazing episode. Although it might also just be that it seems that way when compared to “The Power of Madonna”.

What I Like:

The start of Burt and Carole’s relationship! I don’t know whose idea it was to have these two get together, but I honestly want to bake them a cake.

Literally everything about Mercedes in this episode makes my heart sing. Her struggle is so palpable and real that it’s almost painful to watch. I teared up so many times during her scenes because I’ve felt that. I’ve felt that a thousand times over. Having attention drawn to it, showing how a bigger woman can love her body but still feel insecure and be willing to give into societal pressure is one of the most honest and heart wrenching stories Glee ever tackled, and unlike some of their later topic episodes, this one is handled perfectly. Bravo.

Having the person who brings Mercedes down from the edge be Quinn. It would have been so easy to stick Kurt, or Puck, or even Finn or Artie in there to give her a pep talk and remind her of how beautiful and wonderful she is, but they didn’t. And not only did they have Quinn come in, but they also let Mercedes tell her point-blank that Quinn is thin and fits the typical standards of beauty. It’s just a wonderful scene. I also really enjoy the contrast of Quinn saying “you are beautiful Mercedes”, compared to Artie saying “you know we like you no matter how you look”. With Artie’s, it sounds like “we can look past the fact that you’re fat. You’re beautiful despite being fat”. With Quinn, it’s just “you’re beautiful” point blank. Mercedes is beautiful because of her size, not in spite of it.

“You were conceived on a pinball machine” they really should have given Carole more comedic moments oh my gosh.

“You two have dead spouses, maybe you should talk” Kur you little shit.

Brittany and Santana linking pinkies and Santana leaning her head on Brittany’s shoulder. They’re so goddamn gay it makes me so happy.

Burt and Finn bonding. I’ve always felt it strange that Glee wanted to portray Will as the father figure that Finn never had, when Burt was literally right there and a much better role model for the guy.

Kurt apologizing to Mercedes at the end of the episode. It’s nice to see him like that, because it shows once again that even though Kurt can get really into himself and his wants and ambitions, he can also take a step back and realize how what he’s done has affected others. He’s the perfect blend of selfish and self-less, and it makes for a really compelling character.

The scene where Tina and Artie and Rachel and Jesse turn into food. It’s honestly hilarious, even if the context is upsetting.

No Rachel storyline! I think it’s one of, like, three episodes in all of Glee that doesn’t have a Rachel storyline. It actually is kind of refreshing. Plus, it shows that a Finn storyline that doesn’t center around the three hundred girls who want to have his babies is actually pretty interesting. Honestly, I always found Rachel and Finn’s storylines a lot more interesting when the other person wasn’t involved, or it didn’t center around a romantic interest. It’s a shame there were so few like that.

Burt calling Kurt out for setting him up with Carole and then getting upset when he started bonding with Finn. “Didn’t you do it to make me happy?” Even though I don’t think it fully got through, I do think Kurt needed to hear that.

Carole shutting down Finn’s pity party by reminding him that he didn’t even know his father. Something Finn does a lot that I’ve only noticed with this re-watch is that when something difficult happens to him, and that thing affects a woman in his life as well, he makes it all about himself. It’s so hard on him, he’s so stressed out, nobody wants to help him because they’re so focused on her. Meanwhile the show actually does focus on him, and the woman, who is usually suffering a lot more than he is, gets sidelined. It happened with Quinn’s pregnancy, and it’s happening now. I think it really shows the importance of having adult characters who are actually adults influencing these kids lives. Carole is able to tell Finn without any hesitation that his father’s death has been infinitely harder on her than it was on him, and that he needs to stop playing the victim and acting like she is the one being insensitive to his feelings. This is a message that characters like Will or Emma would never be able to get across, and it’s actually a great, emotional scene.

What I Don’t Like:

Once again, April sings three songs in this episode. She’s a guest star, and I get that she’s amazing, but it really does feel excessive.

Will’s storyline is a little boring. He never seems to be able to do anything without a woman who is attracted to him helping him pave out his path. He can’t come to any realizations on his own, and it’s starting to get really frustrating. Neither Emma or Terri are in this episode, so the role of Will’s Keeper falls onto April. It’s just annoying that this guy who is supposed to be this amazing leader and motivator literally can’t get his life together without someone there to help him glue the pieces together. While I understand needing help every now and then, it feels like the only purpose of any of the female characters that are interested in Will is to make his life easier and better.

Kurt is actually quite frustrating in this episode. First of all, setting up your dad with your crush’s mom is really fucking stupid. It’s not going to make you closer, it’s going to make you family. Ew. Secondly, he was really selfish in doing it, and Burt was right to call him out on that. As soon as things aren’t going his way, he wants to pull the plug, even though Carole and Burt are obviously very happy together. Third, he’s a dink to Mercedes, which IMO is inexcusable. Come on, Kurt. Get your shit together.

Sue acting like Mercedes pep rally was her idea, and taking all the credit for it. I mean, I know that’s just how Sue is, but it’s still a really ugly move.

Sue in this episode, period. Encouraging Becky to literally be bulimic, which is awful, and then asking Mercedes to drop ten pounds in a week?!?!? The most a person should lose per week is 2 pounds, and even that isn’t that healthy. Plus, what difference is ten pounds going to make? No, seriously. Maybe on someone like Quinn or Santana you’d be able to notice ten pounds, but on someone like Mercedes? I’ve been hovering around 200 pounds for about five years now, and I’ve looked exactly the same weighing 190, 200, and 210. On bigger people, something like ten pounds really does not make that much of a difference. Mercedes would have to lose 20-25 pounds at least to have a noticeable difference. Which means that Sue literally made her faint from hunger for no reason whatsoever. Fuck, that pisses me off.

April wanting to do an all-white version of The Whiz. April, that literally exists, and it’s called The Wizard of Oz.

Songs

Fire: This song isn’t necessary. It doesn’t work in the context of the episode, and it just takes away time from one of the actually interesting storylines in this episode. They sound good together, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just really not necessary.

A House is Not a Home: I think Kurt sounds incredible in this song, but it’s never been a favourite. It’s too slow for my taste, and I don’t like that it was a surprise sneak-attack duet instead of just a Kurt solo (I don’t actually think we’ve had one of those yet which is brutal). I’m counting down till “Laryngitis” here, people. I’m ready for my Kurt solo.

One Less Bell to Answer/A House is Not a Home: Holy shit. Okay, so. This song is way too long, and they could have cut a good two minutes from the performance (it’s literally a four-minute-long in-episode performance which is out of this world). That being said, holy fucking shit. The vocals on this are amazing. Not just April, but Will too. There’s not that many songs that make me think “goddamn, Matt Morrison can sing” but this one does. I actually only really noticed the length of the song once it ended because I was so enraptured by how incredible these two sound singing this song. Goddamn.

Beautiful: an absolutely amazing and powerful performance. I cried the entire way through. It’s so uplifting, and Mercedes obviously sounds incredible. Absolutely top-notch

Home: Boring, and once again, unnecessary. Kristen Chenoweth has a great voice, nobody is denying that, but three songs for a guest star is too much. And frankly, the choir-style background singing of the Glee club doesn’t really work for me. A bit of a mediocre ending to an otherwise fantastic episode.

Final Thoughts: This was an episode I started not expecting to enjoy it, as all I remembered about it was the Will stuff. When it ended, I was in a much better mood than I’d been when it started, and it made me excited to watch the next episode (something I don’t often feel in season one).

[inthespiritofthemind]

TESTIMONY - Deliverance From a Stronghold of Fear

The year I graduated from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY with a Master of Church Music Degree my parents gave me a most treasured gift – a trip to the Holy Land.  Something wonderful happened while on that trip.  I pray this testimony will be of help to others who might have experienced the same need for a touch of God’s power.

By way of background, I grew up in a church-oriented family.  The whole family, 5 daughters, Mom and Dad, were totally committed to and spent much time in church and activities to do with church.  However, in that setting, the truth of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and the reality of spiritual dynamics, a holy realm and a demonic realm, were not taught, believed or understood.

Therefore, by the time of this experience, I was a person who had many demons present and influencing my soul while not even knowing my soul could be influenced.  I was in need of much deliverance and freedom.  Praise the Lord for His grace and mercy!  God led me to seminary where I thought I was to pursue a denominational music career as a choir director, singer and minister.  God had other plans.  My very first class was called “Formation for Christian Ministry” and I met a fellow student who would one day become my pastor, Dale Bird. He would become the teacher and counselor who would show me about the Holy Spirit and demons.

It was about our third year at seminary that Dale began to explain to me about spiritual dynamics – that in the spiritual realm there is always something happening, be it holy or evil.   He taught me that Christians could not be possessed, but could be demonized in their souls (mind, emotions, and will).  The scriptures showed us God’s answer to that – salvation which means deliverance and freedom!

He also taught me that spirits very often exit the body and soul when confronted by the Holy Spirit through yawning.  All of this was very overwhelming at the time, but so exciting to come to know and realize.  I was consumed with the desire to know more and to experience freedom like Dale said was available.  I asked God for and submitted my will to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I also began to ask God that I might pray in the spiritual language commonly called “tongues.”  I can remember feeling God’s anointing so strongly that I tingled all over.  But I was too inhibited to let the prayer language flow.  

Another most important piece of information will help with the background for this testimony.  Since the fall of 1974 I had begun to experience heart palpitations primarily when I was singing, but also at other times.  As a singer and music major, this was a big problem!  One of the first things that I sought after learning about these new truths was healing for my heart.  I was prayed for and tried to believe for complete healing and restoration, but I was still bordering on palpitations, especially when I was going to sing.    

The declarations from my mouth were that I was healed, but there was still fear there.  When my parents invited me to go to Germany and the Holy Land with them I was thrilled!   I was invited to speak and sing for a Christian Women’s Club in Heidelberg, Germany where my uncle and aunt were living on an army base with their children.   Then Mom and Dad and I would go to the Holy Land for a tour.  I was invited to sing some solos in several places we would visit.  I was determined not to let fear stop or hinder me.  

There was turmoil in several areas of my life.  Before the trip one significant event occurred.   As I prepared for the speaking and singing engagement, I practiced many song choices and what I would share with the ladies attending.  During that time I made a choice to surrender to the Lord’s will completely.  I experienced repentance, tears, and a new humility.  I knew I had been a Christian for many years, but my relationship with Jesus had not developed to any depth at all.  At that point I began to allow myself to trust Him.  

The morning after my time with God, I had a vision in those moments right before awakening.  I saw a hillside with grass, a large lake in front of it, and a beautiful blue sky with lots of sunshine.  It was not anything I had seen before, but was very distinctive in appearance.  When I awoke, I realized a tangible awareness of light and a physical feeling of being light.  There was an absence of the darkness which I realized must have been there the day before.  It was as if the sun was shining brighter than before and I had a film of darkness taken from my eyes.  The sky looked brighter than I remembered it.  I was ecstatic. I called Dale and described what I was seeing and feeling. He said I was experiencing true spiritual peace for the first time.  

Soon after that I went on my trip.  So much seemed to be happening inside me spiritually and I was very emotional.  The first week was spent in Germany.   I made it through the speaking and singing for the Christian Women’s Club without any attacks of fear or heart palpitations.  I talked quite a lot with my family about what I was learning and burst into tears in front of everyone.  I began to wonder if they all thought I was crazy, but it was a wonderful week in spite of my emotional ups & downs.  

Then we traveled to Israel, landing in Tel Aviv and riding in a bus to Jerusalem.  Our tour guide and his wife were pastors of a church in the US.  It was a Christian Tour with planned stops at many significant scriptural locations including historically for the Jews and specifically in the life of Jesus.  My roommate was another single lady who was a singer and also just happened to be baptized in the Holy Spirit.  She prayed in the spiritual language or tongues.  I was so envious and began to desire that gift more strongly than ever. She and I both sang the first full day of our trip.  I did pretty well with no heart palpitations, but still experienced some fear that there might be some.  

The second night as we were in our hotel room at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem, I had a dream which literally changed my life!!  We had gone to bed and during the blackest part of the night I dreamed that I was with my Aunt Thelma who was a retired missionary. I was yawning over and over.  I knew that was an indication that demons were leaving my soul.  She pointed her finger at me and said I needed to take care of that.  The next thing I saw was my body lying in blackness as I was on my bed.  My right arm lifted up and moved slowly hovering over my body from my feet to my head and my voice said, “Fear, be gone in the Name of Jesus!”  From my feet turbulence like a great wind began and went to my stomach.  There it felt like a tornado as it swirled around and around and suddenly swooshed up and out the top of my head.

Then my arm pointed at spots from my feet to my head and my voice said, “Fear, be gone in the Name of Jesus.”  At each point there were little explosions like starbursts, and again culminated in an exit through the top of my head.  One more time my arm went over my body from my feet to my head. This time it felt like water, soothing, calm, peaceful, and my voice said, “Be gone in the Name of Jesus.”  At that point I awoke with a start and said, “I don’t know what just happened, Lord, but thanks.”

I realized I had been divinely delivered of many spirits of fear by the hand and voice of God.  Since that time I have felt spirits of fear and dealt with them with spiritual warfare through His Spirit and taking authority over them.  But that night the Holy Spirit delivered me of spirits of fear which were very deep rooted from my childhood and on into my adult years.  They had become a stronghold of fear based on lies from the demons which I had received and believed.  I had become deceived thinking the fear was me being afraid.  But there were many spirits of fear which were by nature afraid and passing themselves off as me to me and those around me who don’t know the truth.  

In the following years, God revealed that the demon which had attacked my heart and opened the door to more fear spirits was a New Age spirit. After my deliverance from the fear spirits I was set free from the New Age spirits and have had no further heart palpitations.  Fear is a liar and a thief as are all spirits of evil.  They have no rights.  God is the deliverer and sometimes He allows us to deliver ourselves and sometimes He delivers us. (Editing note:  As I have grown in my understanding I have realized that since we are one in the spirit, it has been the Holy Spirit and me the spirit man doing the deliverance always!  I have never done it alone. My soul may try but it cannot do spiritual things.)  But however He chooses, it is much better to be free than in bondage. He has instructed us to renew our minds, to be transformed, so that we will know the good and acceptable and perfect will of God!  He loves us and desires His best for us and for the rivers of living water to flow through us for His best for others.  

During the seven days we spent in the Holy Land, we visited the city of Tiberius on the Sea of Galilee.  We stayed in a hotel right by the water.  As my roommate and I went into our room, I stepped to the curtains and drew them back to see the view.  It was the most wonderful surprise to see the same exact scene which had been in my dream that morning at home before the trip.  The vision I had seen of the hillside and water were right in front of me.  God is so good!!  The morning I experienced true spiritual peace for the first time was connected to this place where Jesus lived and walked.  This was the place where He calmed the sea and winds by saying, “Peace, be still.”  This was where He brought peace to the Gadarene demoniac across the sea on the far hillside by rebuking the legion of demons from him and sending the demons into the pigs.   Jesus’s peace was with me there.      

              James 4:7 “Submit your selves therefore to God!  Resist the devil and he will flee!”