#[i promised u yuri in lingerie like forever ago]

[hikaminoai-blog]

@lyubovnaldu from here: ❛ I want to show you something. ❜

Please be naked.. Please be naked… “Yes? Yuri? What is it?”

He isn’t naked. 

Although, considering what he’s wearing, he might as well be.

“Just come here, please?” 

Yuri’s perched on the edge of their bed, ankles crossed, but the focal point is absolutely what he has on. He never would have thought of himself as someone that looked good in lace, but Viktor made him feel like he could pull off anything, and he supposed as far as tipsy Amazon shopping went it could have been a lot worse. He’d talked himself into actually putting the outfit on, and despite the color in his cheeks, he couldn’t deny it didn’t look bad. He just hoped his fiancé would agree. 

He’d ended up with quite a combination. The negligée, dark grey lace trimmed with satin, featured a deep V neck that covered very little of his chest. That ended just below his hips, only partially hiding the matching panties beneath. And a few inches below that- his personal favorite part, black thigh-high stockings accentuating his legs. He bit his lip when Viktor appeared in the doorway, waiting for a reaction.

[onotherflights]

LONG ASS POST WARNING ⚠️

This is for people who have read my fic Guys my age / Pure… it's a messy stream of consciousness big surprise.

Okay so if you're here, you either follow me on tumblr and are curious (thank you) but may be confused because I'm in the YOI fandom or you're from the 5sos fandom and are confused because when did I become a YOI blog? Well, I didn't expect the show to eat me alive but that's what happened oops.

Anyway, this is about Pure. Because I didn't update for a long time but now I've finished it and I'm going to be releasing the last chapter so I just wanted to talk about that and my A/N was already too long lol.

For one, I just want to be very upfront about saying that writing Pure was a turning point for me, both in my writing and just in life. When i first started writing Pure, I was getting over a bad breakup, my first real one ever actually. In the relationship I was in, I was very emotionally uncared for. I wouldn't say it was abuse by any means, but I wasn't understood. I wasn't supported emotionally. My views were seen as naive and in time surely I would begin thinking “the right way”. I was very suppressed, and parts of me have been suppressed my whole life, even out of a relationship. In this relationship, I never felt desired, I never felt beautiful. “Cute”, “quirky”, “smart”, sure. But those are things anyone can pick up from the outside (or not). But I never felt like the person I was with could see me for who I really was, or who I wanted to be, no matter how much I tried to tell him.

Since then, I've gone through another breakup and a series of failed dates. I'm young, I'm going through that time in my life where this is to be expected.

But writing pure helped me so much.

I wrote Luke that way for a reason, and I wrote Calum that way for a reason. (And Ashton and Mike too). Luke is me, he's young and he doesn't have a clue what he's doing but he finds someone he connects with and not just on a level that people can see from the outside, but on a level that is very private to them and it's more unspoken, indescribable. They're soulmates.

At the end of the day, Pure started out as just a weird au where Luke finds a boyfriend on a bdsm blog but it really turned into me exploring who I am, what I want in a relationship, my sexual awakening tbh… everything. Writing this story showed me that I deserve someone who understands my mind, body, and soul. Someone who can love me patiently and passionately…. I guess it helped me realize I need my “cal” lmao.

But anyway, this isn't about my personal/writing journey. To the story.

I really hit a block after chapter 10-11. I feel like people did not like that Calum was a designer, more specifically that he designed lingerie. I actually got really pissed off because of this perceived thought that people didn't like it because there was little to no positive comments about it, but some just didn't even comment on it at all. I got pissed and I was like, fuck this, I'm going to stop writing this story and then I started writing Otayuri and threw caution to the wind.

But then I promised I was going to finish Pure (a while ago) and that wasn't because I feel like I owe anybody anything, it's because it really was my baby. It helped me. It's my story, and I wanted to take my time and finish it for myself. I think one thing I really learned was that I was looking for validation or approval, that what I was writing was good.

I've been writing fanfic on the internet since like 2011 or something. I've always been affected by comments, I've always wanted to hear that I am capable.

And chapter 10 was something I was nervous about. I had this whole idea of my version of Calum in my head and when I didn't get the reaction I was hoping for, I felt so defeated. And I fell out of love with writing this story that up until that point had consumed me the way writing should. Now I'm not saying that my writing is a masterpiece and I demand hundreds of comments, I never expect that. But at the time I was really butt-hurt tbh.

I see so many fics (especially now in the YOI fandom no tea no shade) that are so dry and boring and try to be funny but are not. And these are often stories that are the most popular in the fandom/for the ship. I understand that a lot of this has to do with taste, and I'm very sure that Pure was not everyone's taste, certainly not everyone's humor. But something awesome happened when I re-read it and was determined to finish it … it was like I had just started writing it again.

And writing the ending was perfect (for me). Every creator knows that “full circle” moment where you know your work is done. Not perfect, not what everyone wants, but done. And I'm so content with how it ends.

I learned that I don't need comments to validate me, because I love my writing. It has mistakes because I don't have a beta. It's not perfect, or popular, or moving prose. But I love my style and it makes me happy.

But what I'm trying to say, and I've reblogged so many posts about this, but comments are important. I kind of have this “I don't give a fuck I'm going to write when and what I want” now, but that's very recent and I might still be insecure about it sometimes. But not every writer is in the same place. If you're a writer yourself, you understand how hard it is to share a world you built in your mind and have no one else care. It's not a good feeling, it's definitely not motivating.

So please, PLEASE leave comments on every fic you read. It literally takes five extra minutes. I'm guilty of it too, but I sincerely try.

I also want to address that I'm basically out of the 5sos fandom, like that even needs to be addressed? I'm not really embarrassed of them or anything, I love the boys and I am so happy for Michael MY BABY like y'all don't even understand how good it is to see him so happy lately. I don't even care if people don't like crystal she's an angel for making my boy happy.

I'm still going to support the boys, I just don't care to be in the fandom anymore. I feel like it's dying out and it's so sad because I remember the good old days when things were so fun (how fleeting they were). If any Michael girls out there ever want to reminisce about the good old days I'm here for it lol.

But once I'm finished updating Pure, I'm not going to be writing any more 5sos fanfic or be posting any more 5sos content here (obviously). If you're still following me and you don't even like YOI, I love you so fucking much. Seriously talk to me anytime because you are so sweet.

And honestly, I don't know where my writing will go. I'm super happy writing for YOI now, I have a lot of ideas, but I had to finish Pure first because I owed it to myself. It's literally closing a book in my writing journey.

I don't know how long I will continue writing fanfic for (probably forever because it's my hobby), and I don't know what fandoms I will write for in the future. Will my writing ever be better? I don't know. Will I ever be a popular fic writer? Probably not. And I'm actually okay with that now, because I'm just writing for my own enjoyment now, and if you like it then that's awesome and I love having your support.

I also want to say thank you to everyone who did leave comments on almost every chapter of pure or messaged me about it here. Thank you, and I hope the ending was at least a little worth the wait.

Alright, my rant is over. If you scrolled down to the end here's a recap:

I was butt hurt

I am now slightly less butt hurt

I learned some things while writing

I finished Pure (my demon baby) !!

Luke is an angel

Yuri is an angel

I like writing about angelic blondes

I may continue to write about angelic blondes.

Thank u for ur time.

(I love you)