#[i might not be too active for a bit still due to a small project i want to work on so threads will be worked on very slowly for now]

[doctorobrt]

haii !! could u do maybe william n reader(maybe gn reader ?:3) have a sleepover even tho theyre adults ? like they do silly sleepover activities like building a fort, watching movies, face masks, etc :3

Hey! I can absolutely do that for you lovely, I might add my own kind of twist onto it if that's alright with you! I'll keep both Will and the reader at around 20 years old, it's kind of that age where you still enjoy silly things meant for teenagers but also get embarrassed by them so you prefer to call sleepovers 'hangouts'..

This is quite long I believe, so sorry in advance.

College Student William Afton x College Student GN Reader

Being an adult had its perks, going to concerts or buying a house - if you really felt the need. There wasn't a huge amount of things to do compared to that of being a teenager, and to be frank, life just seemed all a bit more serious now.

Given the bigger responsibilities and need to pay for yourself, the joy seemed to be sucked from all of the things you used to find amusing as a careless teenager. College wasn't dreadful though, you got to see your friends and spend time away from the house and your parents. The subject you chose however... if there was one thing that could bore you into a coma, it would be maths.

The day had dragged and Mr. Wilson seemed more stringent than ever. He had requested the floors be redone in his classroom after the incident earlier in the year which left him toppled over, face first on the floor. Since that day, he had taken strict action by adding heaps of oil to the hinges of the door and making sure he arrived an hour earlier in mind of rush hour traffic.

This had clearly taken a toll on him as he lay slouched in his drab leather chair, snoring sonorously whilst armies of heavy raindrops tapped against the windows.

After a long, long wait for the clock to hit 4pm, you bundled all of the pens and paper from the desk into your bag before making an anticipated beeline for the college doors. It was short lived relief however, as the bus wasn't in it's normal parking spot. Due to the weather, and state of the poor old vehicle, it was going to take another 25 minutes for it to fight through the dismal downpour.

Home was too far of a walk in this weather and the thought of calling your parents home from work to pick you up was just as threatening.

The world seemed unnaturally dark, as if the light had been drained from the sky replaced by dark, gloomy clouds massing above your head. Rain tumbled down a great deal heavier than earlier, the small bus shelter was beginning to feel over crowded and the pungent smell of sweat had become rather noxious to inhale.

Huffing audibly to yourself and accepting the nauseating fate, you stood in the cramped bus shelter and tolerated it. That was until an obnoxiously loud blare of a car horn and beckoned you over. It was William, he had stayed on longer to discuss a project he'd been working on with the technicians teacher. What a little life saver!

Rapidly checking both sides of the road, you bolted over to his cherry red Ford Consul Capri, very classy if you do say so yourself, and slammed the door shut before the pelting rain could ruin the polished leather seats.

"Bloody hell you are a god send mate" You panted whilst wiping strands of soggy hair from your forehead.

"I wasn't beeping for you to come over love." He responded as his brows furrowed at your presence.

Oh. No. How utterly embarrassing. Your jaw hung open in disbelief as rose pigment stung your cheeks.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, I'll wait for the bus." You stammered in humiliation. His gaze was scrutinising, you couldn't bare to return the eye contact.

"Nah I'm pulling your leg mate." He goaded whilst grinning mischievously, "The look on your face though, class."

"Knobhead"

"Right. If you're free we can head back to mine, Mum and Dad went to Switzerland yesterday so the house is completely empty."

"Alright ace, I'll come and keep you from being lonely you little man child." You teased back, "Joking! Joking. Please don't leave me out in the rain like a little sodden mouse."

He sighed and rolled his eyes before starting up the pristine car to head back home.

William lived in a posh area of the village, although his house wasn't overly showy or obnoxious like the others. His parents were owners of a large mechanics dealership in London so he was loaded, but he wouldn't gloat his wealth.

A few more turns, after a very much appreciated twenty minute drive, and you pulled up on a gravel driveway. The pair of you grabbed your bags and sprinted to the front door as the rain picked up and cracks of thunder boomed in the gloomy horizon.

"Hurry up and open that door!" You shrieked just as the crooked gutter snapped and drenched you head to toe in grimy rain water - Not Will though, he hogged the porch.

As soon as the heavy wooden door swung open, you lunged into the front room. It'd be the respectful deed to compliment the house, albeit overridden by organised clutter, but the sludge dripping into your eye was truly the top of your concerns.

"Don't laugh, I can literally see you snickering."

William was wide eyed and speechless, the urge to laugh was becoming overwhelming at this point. He signalled to the room at the bottom of the lengthy hallway and welcomed you to use the bath, the offer was too good to resist, so you grabbed your dripping wet bag and shivered all the way down the corridor, slamming the door shut and immediately twisting the hot tap onto full power.

"I've got some tea here waiting," William announced faintly, "Oh, and I got scrabble out too if you want to play?"

"Alright then, I'll hop out when I finish washing my hair."

"I left some of my old pyjamas outside for you too." He replied hesitantly, "I'll be in the lounge."

Climbing out of the lukewarm water, you grabbed a towel from the radiator and patted yourself down. The door creaked open slightly as you turned the handle, allowing space for your hand to slip through and take the white button down pjs from the mat outside.

"I'll be over now," You called down the hall, "Give me a second!"

You snatched a pair of navy slippers from the shoe rack and made your way into the dimly lit living room.

"Cor it's nice and warm in here."

"Your tea's going cold mind." He nodded to the sofa opposite of him, "Sit on that one over there if we're playing scrabble."

Perching on the edge of the leather settee, you picked out seven tiles from the green drawstring pouch and set them onto the wooden stand.

"Are you kidding me?" William leant back in his chair and scoffed, "Right, you first."

Squinting at the seven letters before you, you reorganised them into many different sequences. D, I, Z, O, I, X, E. Doze... no, Doe.. too short, iodize..? Suddenly, you visualised a word which used all of the tiles and scrambled them into place.

"Oh mate get ready for this." You slid the stand onto the board with a smirk spread across your face. Slowly, you arranged the word 'Oxidize' onto the beginning squares. "Twenty one, twenty two... only twenty four points for that, but add on the fifty for the seven letters and that takes it up to... 74!"

"You cheater you have a dictionary." He accused in envy of the high score whilst jotting it down on a scrap of paper.

"Do not! Your turn now, lets see your scrabble skill."

Rolling his eyes and picking up a single tile from the stand in front of him, he placed a measly O beneath the D.

"Oh dear..." You chuckled into your fist, "Vowels?"

He shot you a cruel glare and confirmed your query with a quick nod. The game continued on for half an hour until the competitive nature became increasingly tiring, especially since William kept placing an S after all of your words, so you got up and clambered into the space beside him.

"We haven't eaten yet."

"I think there's a pot of beef stew in the fridge." He answered defeatedly, "Or we can listen to my dad's vinyl instead?"

Food sounded perfect, but knowing William's family he probably owned some of the latest LPs released by the biggest artists around right now.

"Alright then you lazy cow, how about we listen to some vinyl then?" You returned a grin and made your way over to the fancy box of LPs adjacent to the shiny, high tech record player.

The selection inside was truly magnificent, The Supremes album 'Meet The Supremes', The Rolling Stones debut record, 'Surfin' USA' from the Beach Boys followed by a dozen Chuck Berry sleeves. This was like a dream come true.

After a brief while of overthinking your choice, you picked out The Beatles' latest album 'A Hard Day's Night' and carefully placed it atop the platter, mindful of its mint condition, and flicked the plug socket on. Soon enough the record began spinning around, so, you picked up the needle and gently positioned it onto the lead in groove.

It crackled faintly before crashing into the first song, the fast paced melody was joyfully upbeat - perfect for dancing. You smiled to yourself, overjoyed with emotions, before turning your attention back to William. He watched on fondly as you tapped your foot to the tune, occasionally out of time but nonetheless you were enjoying yourself.

"Come on then!" You desperately encouraged him to join in, tugging the sleeve of his shirt.

He latched his hands into the warm hold of yours and moved them hastily up and down, over and over in an attempt of dancing until the song faded out. As the next began to play, a dreadful clatter reverberated around the room.

"Oh dear, it's never done that before." Tilting his head at the needle, he took a cloth from the side table to clean the end of the cartridge. Carefully placing it onto the following track, he rose onto his feet and stepped backwards. The soft crackle returned and a delicate symphony of voices and instruments chimed from the speakers.

'If I fell in love with you Would you promise to be true'

"Suiting song." You jested and prodded his chest with a finger.

Chuckling at your playful gesture, he took a hold of your hands once more - this time, however, he moved them rather languidly. The storm outside worsened and the crashing bolts of lightning echoed through the town formidably. Swaying in each others arms, the soothing rhythm lulled the both of you into a state of bliss.

'And I found that love was more, than just holding hands.'

He rose his arm above your head, motioning you to twirl around whilst humming along to the song. Melting back into his frame, you followed his steps and chortled as he tripped over the carpet. The both of you smiled at one another as the chorus of instruments soothed to an end.

'When she learns we are two If I fell in love with you...'

~

A/N - Oh my gosh... This took way too long. It definitely isn't my favourite fic ever but I always put a lot of effort into researching the year I write about so it doubled the time it should've taken by like a million years ugh. If you didn't know, I tried to set it in late July 1964 hence A Hard Day's Night being the latest record Will has - He's totally a Rolling Stones over The Beatles kind of guy though. I hope you enjoyed this xxx oh and thank you for being so patient holy moly

[codename-adler]

DANCE TIL YOU FIND SOMEONE TO DIE FOR UPDATING??? YES GOD YES!!!

Yes!!!!! It really warms my heart that you still care anon 🥹🫶

Adler's WiPs ~ Project: dance 'til you find someone to die for (dtyfstdf)

Premise for newcomers: What if instead of Seth, Riko had tried to get rid of Aaron? The night Seth was supposed to "accidently" die, Ravens found their way to Aaron instead. By pure dumb luck, Kevin answers his call for help and from then on, Kevin and Aaron are thrown together to brace themselves for every deadly trap sent their way. The dangerous game they play isn't just Exy anymore, and their hearts might get caught in the crossfire. >>Here on ao3 or >>here on Tumblr (masterlist of all parts)

Oh dear lord I have not updated since… 2021. I am so sorry. Things in the brain and the body got in the way. But that does not mean I have stopped thinking about Kevin and Aaron and the alternate timeline I have created. I’ve just had to scale down the plot a little bit, for now, as well as my expectations and goals. It became too big for me and that scared me, and discouraged me. So now it’s little bites and little steps! Or what they call “filler episodes” in the industry… We love those, right?

Up next: Shower Scene. Will it be sexy? Uh, yeah, you could say that. Will it be angsty? Oh yeah. That’s the main goal. I’m drawing a lot from personal experience with physical scars and how it affects routine activities such as washing up. I wanted to give a new perspective on scars, different from Neil’s or Andrew’s, and realized that I could expiate some of my demons through Aaron (like one does), who now has scars similar to mine due to every injury he has suffered in the fic until now. I also just love shower scenes in aftg fics. They’re so tense and charged!! There’s Kevin, and there’s Aaron, having an emotional conversation under hot water, only separated by a stall wall. Ugh! The boys have got to get hot and bothered about each other at some point, ya know? Anyhoo, that is the starting point of this new era for the fic. It’s small in the grand scheme of things, it’s full of dialogue (my péché mignon), it’s good therapy (for me, not them) and well that’s the dream for now!

Now, what after that. There are, evidently, unavoidable parts that must happen in order for the story to progress both in its own timeline and according to the canon timeline. There is the infamous New Year’s in NYC / holidays at the Nest thing, where I want to explore how Kevin copes with both Neil and Andrew locked away, and how Aaron helps (or aggravates) him considering how changed their friendship is. Thea also has to make an appearance at some point, both for the sake of this fic and for her own spin-off with Katelyn. And also so I can end things between her and Kevin in a way that I deem respectful and believable enough for both Kevin and her. I have little fillers here and there that mean the world to me, but they all lead to a First Kiss. They gotta get there at some point right? I’m not sure yet which of them will make the first move. I got multiple scenarios for each. There most certainly will be blood involved.

I really want to give you a snippet. I’ve got nothing ready or non-spoilish. But maybe, just maybe, by the time I post the corresponding part, y’all will have forgotten about this? So, um, there:

P.S.

Ye olde playlist

[chaosnocontrol]

Sonic oc junk

uh

Uh

Silly sonic oc introduction thing?? I guess

This is Kira, aka Kurai

(the more I look at this shitty drawing, the more I feel like I can't draw )

Backstory under the cut, for those who wanna read it :)

Ok so uh, his backstory is still being rewritten, due to the fact that the last 2 I did didn't make much sense, and he was too emo to me, soo.. Yeah, but his backstory now goes something like this:

once apon a time, a hedgehog scientist and a normal wolf lady fell in love ,they get married, blah blah blah, The hedgehog scientist starts to experiment with dark Gaia energy, testing how it affects the mobian body, (this taking place WAY before unleashed) but his reaserch is inconclusive, but just as he started losing hope,getting desperate , he did the unthinkable. He did the experiment on his (sence pregnant) wife, and it worked, just not in the way he expected it to, as it turned her into, what whould be deemed a monster (Basically a werehog but wolf, a werewolf if you will,) and instead of attempting to find a cure for his were-Wife,like a decent husband, He, basicly left her.

So now, the very much pregger single-mom is essentially hated and hunted by the village she once lived in, due to her new form(its in like,very late 90s- early 2000s-ish, and that village was isolated as hell ), so much so , its was to the point that people made folktales about her, (although folktales about beasts in that area were rather common ) and while that was happening, she basicly had to take care of this child, with little to no parental experience, and no one to help her, in the middle of the woods(and probably too stubborn to just give up or ask for help), she did her best to raise this child on her own, skipping a bit through the story...were-wife finds her deadbeat husband, and uh," accidentally" murders him...skipping through more of the story, her child is now, about, four, and she's been doing a surprisingly good job parenting. But remember the folktales? Well now people are claiming to have seen a beast in the forest, causing people to start actively hunting for said beast, and well, it was a bad few months to be a werewolf single mom cuz uh. She got confronted by said hunters, she defended herself(And probably killed one of them..), she was critically injured in the exchang, she retreated, they tracked her down and finished the job..Darn! Right in front of her four year old child! I'm sure that won't cause any issues in the future..

Time skipping a few years.

Kira is like 7 now and has no friends. Nor family (That he knows of :) )

And has just been living off the trash of the local village, small rodents, and the occasional fish, and the locals think he's some sort of creature or pest and children tease him for being weird.

And one day, he met a person,or rather, a fox. Briana fox to be specific (her name is still a wip and might change)an aspiring scientist and engineer who happened to be passing through the village. Blah blah blah, she takes this child under her wing

Yet another timeskip,later..

Briana, at this point, has been working on a project, a project to change the world. (Literally) observing the constant loop of interaction between sonic and eggman: eggman creates a deadly machine, sonic,+Co stop and destroy it, the world continues to constantly be destroyed and rebuilt, and in the eyes of Briana, its like a spiral of ants. Constantly circling in an endless loop untill the inevitable demise of the planet . And she's sick of it. So she devises a plan to enact whats known as the "Genisis wave", using the power of the chaos emeralds, and a machine of her creation. With the assistance of Kira, (whom she re-named "Kurai" after experimenting and geneticly modifying him),and others (Who are still being worked on,but might be revealed in due time )

Those assisting Briana in her hunt, were modified to be able to fight spasific people in sonics "Immediate friend group" (That of whom she just assumed were friends with sonic)

Kurai/ Kira was then modified to be able to go toe-to-toe with sonic himself, matching his speed with his spetilized Water Based "Air shoes" (shoes??? Boots???I don't know anymore), and semi elastic limbs (I wonder where did those come from..)

and thats it! I think-

Thank you for listening to me rambling about my sonic oc :)

ALSO PLEASE EXUSE MY SPELLING MISTAKES AND STORY INCONSISTENCIESh, I WROTE THIS AT LIKE 4 IN THE MORNING-

heres a Kira doodle icon thing for your troubles :)

also, fun fact, if you Google his name, one of the first things that oops up is his old ass wiki page from over 2 years ago that I wish they would delete and I need to rewrite. But I have no fucking clue how . :,)

[mansion1of7]

Doing a thing is pretty cool

I want to live life faster, yk? I want to have the thought "I wanna do X" and just go do it, instead of at earliest 4 hours later or some shit

It is what it is with disabilities though. Going from activities quick, physical tasks, anything that requires concentration, I'm just undeniably, medically limited in those regards. To some degree I feel it could come from my mindset though, and that's something I'm gonna try to be working on

I might not have it in me physically or mentally to get to work on that creative project, but I could at least do something that stimulates my creativity a bit. Write about something interesting, edit/take some pictures or type up so lyrics I'll never use just for fun, yk? It might not be THE THING, but if I at least do a thing then that'll still be fun, it'll still give me more experience doing shit, it'll get me thinking about new things too, inspiration

I would also like to be able to move faster through daily tasks. I often end up just sitting in the bathroom or something scrolling TikTok or watching YouTube or something and just, idk, passing time? I start it cause I can't always move from place to place in my home quickly due to physical limitations, but like, it doesn't take me 1-2 hours to be able to move somewhere, and it's legit been that long sometimes. I start it cause I'm like "well, since I gotta rest for a bit, might as well just mindlessly pass some time" but then my time blind ADHD ass gets stuck in the time chamber. So I think I should find alternative ways to pass time that don't disconnect my brain completely

Yeah, I'm disabled, I can't be moving that much, but that doesn't mean I never can. When it's calmer, when I can stand up and move around without feeling like I'm dying, I should have fun with it. Sure, I do usually gotta spend most of that on cooking to stay alive, but if can get a bit of dancing or stretching or both during the waiting parts of the cooking or while moving around the kitchen, like, I should do that. Every time I have it in me to be moving I should be doing that, cause it consistently helps with my mood and makes it way easier to sleep without too much restlessness and get all comfy <:3

So, yh! I might not be able to go on walks, or work on every creative thing I want, or do all the tasks I want to do quickly, but, I can still do the smaller versions of those,

I can get a little activity, do some little small works, and find little ways to get on to tasks a bit faster

Very good plan I think, is been making me feel a little better already <:3

[damfinofanfiction]

Chapter 22: A Talk Between Two Aunts

Note: just to conclude 2023 with this new chapter! you may notice that I edited the story a bit on ao3; it's only for the grammar. this might stay the same on tumblr. Anyway happy new year damfinos!

Filming resumed as soon as the star cow was no longer in heat. Buster was relieved that things had run smoothly once more. However, minor obstacles still occur in production but each has a solution. Rain? Shift the shoot to indoor scenes. Wolves lurking around? The ranch owners promptly dealt with them. Running out of ideas for a gag? Gather the crew to play a little ball until something comes up.

Whatever it took, Buster wanted or had to finish the film by autumn.

Buster was thankful to the ranch owners for letting them film there and giving insight into the plot. Not to mention their attempts to help Brown Eyes, but he didn't want to be reminded. 

Kathleen Myers was a fine actress for Buster to direct. It wasn't her first time in a feature this year since she had finished Goat Getter at the time of her casting. Kathleen once complained to Buster about the cow slowing production down as she had other upcoming projects. Buster appreciated her ambitious nature, and her looks reminded him of Gail. He still wished she would have worked with him if it wasn't for the injury or Schenck recommending Kathleen to the picture. 

In mid-July, Buster decided for the production to leave the ranch after having the necessary footage. Filming was moved to the train where he could develop gags and scenarios.

As always, Buster had thought about how the movie would begin and end but he still had ideas for the middle. He had conversed with Lex about how it would go.

Sometimes it just left Buster thinking about whether he would say anything to Gail.

************

On her Saturday off, Gail hung her damp clean laundry on a clothesline in a small backyard. The production of the short had finished the day before and everyone celebrated with a small party which had Gail feeling tired in the morning. She hadn't had a Buster dream for a while. They became unnecessary since she was seeing and having some activity with Buster Keaton.

Following her chores, she went to the front to find out what was in her mailbox, forgetting to check the day before. She then noticed that among the mail, one was addressed to her. She rushed inside to read in peace. Expecting it to be from the one and only, she was a bit disappointed to find it was from Churchill. She opened the envelope and read the letter.

Dear Gail, We are thrilled to announce that Geraldine’s twins have arrived on July 12! They are both healthy girls and their mother is recovering well. Their older brother Jake is not happy that neither one is a boy. Ezekiel’s just relieved that the delivery went smoothly and is glad he found an experienced doctor for her. We will provide more details to come. We were also surprised to hear that you were at the premiere of Charlie Chaplin’s new picture. We all saw that movie too but it was just one scene that not everyone believed you were in the picture. We also would love to hear everything about you and how your arm has recovered.  Geraldine agreed we should delay your father’s retirement party to Thanksgiving weekend instead of August. We hope to see you then. Love, Mother.

Gail had mixed reactions to the letter. She’s an aunt again but had forgotten about her father’s upcoming retirement. She believed that it was due to her romantic involvement with Buster that made her slip her mind.

Later that evening, bridge practice at Lenore's was turned into a game of kings in a corner because the older woman decided to liven up the game night. Gail placed a red queen on top of a black king. Sally wasn't new to the card game but quickly picked up the skill as she placed a black five over a red six. Lenore then put those cards on top of the corner which her niece overlooked on her turn.

What pleased Gail more was seeing Lenore and Sally on good terms since she hadn't seen them argue or offend each other in three months.

 Lenore asked Gail, "So what's new?"

When picking up a new card, she responded, "I have just received news that my sister has given birth to twins."

The women both put down the cards after hearing the happy news. "That's wonderful! Why didn't you say so before?" Lenore boasted.

It wasn't brought up. I didn't get a picture yet. She and the babies are fine. They didn't send a picture yet."

"I'm happy for your family." Lenore smiled widely.

"Yeah, that must be hard childbirth," Sally chirped in.

The older woman nodded with a sullen face. "Well, not everyone is lucky to have a child." Both young women looked at her with sympathy.

"There's another thing," Gail mentioned another bit of news about her father. "I'm just glad the retirement party is delayed. What if Mr. Sennett has me on another project by that time?"

"Don't worry, there are other actresses who are dying to be in pictures!” Sally said.

"That's true, they can fill in, though you're still irreplaceable."

Sally stretched her arms and yawned. "I'm gonna head upstairs now, good night auntie, good night Bae."

“Very well, good night Sal!” It was getting late. She would have left the table to grab her hat and coat if it were for any persuasion by the older woman.

“Gail, can you stay for a bit?” Lenore asked. “I like us to talk, just us aunts.”

“Sure.” 

Cards were placed aside. “How well did you get along with your nieces and nephews?”

“Well, they know me well but it’s hard not to see them since we're apart more often.”

“My nephews didn't want to talk to me, they only wanted my money. However, Sally didn't care about my wealth. She said nothing about it.”

Gail knew she was still seeing the wealthy Sterling and didn’t want to say anything, hoping Lenore would hear from Sally. She blurted out, “Well that’s good since she’s not chasing money.”

"That’s not it", Lenore sighed. "The point is that I don't know what is going on and what kind of life she has. Did she tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

She quit that nightclub. 

Gail was in a bit of disbelief. "But she enjoyed performing there."

"She did before. She told me that her manager fired her because of her age, but she would rather quit." Lenore became visibly upset. "I worry she's turning into my sister. May God rest her soul. My most regret is not being there for her, even if she was stubborn. That's why I'm trying my best to look after my niece." Gail gave her a comforting hug. When they stopped Lenore wiped her eyes. "You are a godsend, dear."

"Well, I guess I am." Gail grinned gracefully.

"As you're her best friend, I'd like you to keep an eye on her when you let her come along."

Gail held the older woman’s hand as she tried to avoid breaking her trust, "You have my word."

She left Lenore’s after wishing each other a good night.

Gail took a bus to get home. Before going to her bungalow, she checked the mailbox again. Her eyes lit up when she found an envelope from the Kingman Hotel. She rushed to her bedroom, so she read the letter in bed. 

Dear Gail,

I’m sorry I haven't written to you. Things were busy during filming. Brown eyes is alright again. 

The heat in the desert was hot as hell and it kept being rained on which thankfully helped cool down.

I would like to hear how it went filming your short since we have to keep things between us.

Thankfully, I will be coming back home at least next week. We left the ranch after some weeks and are currently filming somewhere along the way.

There’s another good news, we will be filming downtown when we return. While there’s still a consideration, I would like you to be on the scene if you're free to work with me.

See you then!

Yours truly, "Michael"

Gail beamed, grabbed the letter close to her chest, and then drifted off to sleep due to drowsiness.

She didn't mind sleeping with her clothes on because she's going to see Buster again soon.

[purenguyening]

For the name + question thing: N A O - (A) L I C E + M Y S T (E) R (I C A)

spell your name in my ask, fandom edition!

N, your favourite crackship:

Nakamori Aoko/Mouri Ran, mostly because I like to poetically name the ship "A blue orchid". I do think they should meet and they'd definitely get a long, though.

A, fandom you blog about the most:

Going based on tumblr, probably Touhou Project? It's the fandom that saw the most activity out of me.

O, tell us about your favourite AU for one of your ship:

In the same Touhou Modern AU, I like the idea of Yoshika and Kasen running a Dim Sum shop together, but like with every other alternate universe, I never dedicated time to actually sit down and flesh it out further...

--

A, fandom you blog about the most:

I think second most might be Ace Attorney (though I have never finished Spirit of Justice and ever started the Dai Gyakuten Saiban series). I used to write a decent amount of meta thoughts on it and had a short list of what I imagined an Ace Attorney Investigations III would look like, it's still floating around somewhere on Tumblr under my old blog...

L, a quote from one of your fandoms which you absolutely adore:

Haibara: Oh, since when did I become your assistant?

Conan: Not, assistant, partner.

&

Haibara: Moreover, I also believe in him as my partner.

This is a bit of a cheat because I think it works specifically if you know they're from back to back movies (the former from Movie 11 and the latter from Movie 12). They're a very lovely pair of moments that I think captures a lot of the trust and faith Conan and Ai have in each other.

I know the term they specifically use is 'aibou' but I have heard it's slowly becoming a term to have a romantic sense and I, personally do like the term partner as a romantic term, too...

I, a book you can read over and over:

A Tour of Calculus by David Berlinkski. I like reading about the history of mathematics. I don't know if I can fully read it right now and follow all of the logic since it's been a long time since I've read anything about mathematics in full detail, but I would like to give it a go in the neat future.

Also, I love that one of the chapters is just title "Yo."

C, which fandom do you know the most about?

Touhou Project just because of sheer scale and how long it's been running. I would argue, even though I only focus on like a small faction of Touhou, it's still a lot.

It's a very dense series and even if you only focus a small section you end up learning a lot.

E, a character you think you’re the most like?

Ema Skye from Ace Attorney. I can't help but feel a lot for her about her frustrations in her career path and wanting to repay my debts to others but not able to due to circumstances out side of my control.

--

M, your favourite writer/s

I had to think about this because I tend to only read a small fraction of a writer's works and it's rare for me to read all of their works.

Off the top of my head: blackidyll, huppaduppa, mimicteruyo, and rabbiteclair

For a more traditional published author, Rebecca Traister has been lingering in the back of my mind lately.

Y, which of your favourite shows has the worst writing?:

Detective Conan, but I think is in part to Aoyama wanting to push for like 200 volumes and so there's a lot of easy points.

One moment that I find particularly off-putting is Haibara's restrained reaction to Kid tazing Conan. It just felt off and it's one of those moments that I really felt my suspension of disbelief breaking.

The other moment is during the London Arc where Ran shouts at Shinichi to "deduce her heart". That moment made me incredibly uncomfortable.

S, which ship do you have an infinite amount of songs for?

Honestly, none. I have like one romantic song that I will shamelessly slap onto all of my OTPs instead.

It's Nodey's Đôi Khi ❤️

(Yes, the heart emoji is very important) There's some details of the song that I know won't work for every OTP, but I just adore the refrain too much:

Đôi khi em trông thấy anh

Đôi khi lại không

Đôi tay ta ôm lấy nhau

Không đi về đâu

Sometimes I see you,

Sometimes I don't

Our hands embracing

Into nowhere.

The above is the official translation (like, what you'll see when you turn on English Subtitles) but the way I've always understood the song is:

Sometimes, I see you, sometimes I don't. (With) our hands entwined (we're) going nowhere.

Functionally, they're the same, but my read of it is a little bit more personal? And I always thought it suited a bit more once you know the featured artist, Suboi, is married to Nodey.

I digress.

T, favourite female characters?

At the moment, Makomo.

I don't know why but when I'm alone I find myself muttering "Everyone shut the fuck up, right now, Makomo's here" every time I saw her and it's kind of evolved a bit where my friends will send me art with the caption: "Everyone be quiet!!! She's here!!!" and I just get really happy? I love her dearly.

E, a character you think you’re the most like?

Haibara Ai, I just love her arc and her coming to terms with the past and how it doesn't define her who she is today. She's rebuilding her life and finding joy in the people who love her.

R, best book to film adaptation, in your opinion?

This is cringe and a failure on me since I don't have usually pick up a lot of books and movie adaptations together so my only answer is, sadly, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

I, a book you can read over and over

I'm not entirely sure if I should count it since I'm really only reading it for one specific chapter but, One-Winged Butterfly, specifically the chapter "For Those Who Do Not Smile."

There's a lot of fun details that just bring a smile to my face.

C, which fandom do you know the most about?

Free! Probably in part there's a lot of magazine articles and interviews that have been translated over the years so I end up picking up a lot of the thought process behind the making of the series.

A, fandom you blog about the most

Going by my blog's tags, Free!

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #3: Gettin' Technical... Again?! And A Little Cynical

Hello again! I must admit... My weekly blog posting schedule has slightly shifted - first, because I posted the Halloween poster a.k.a. The First Teaser a bit later due to the creepy holiday itself, and second - because a bunch of life stuff is happening (yup, don't underestimate me, I do have a life outside artworks! 🤣). Usually everything has been fairly straightforward and gradual in my life, but there's a bit of certain activity going on in it right now, more than usual. And potentially also non-artistic side projects in my life. Because of that, I didn't get a chance to draw as much as I anticipated to during this week (already last week?! wowie!!!.. time flies, indeed!). But nevertheless, I tried my very best to go ahead with "Time & Again", for this is a project of the greatest importance to me. Slower or faster it's reaching its "well done" state - it doesn't matter. As you know, I'm not big on time limits 😁 At this point of time, the product is still very undercooked, so I'll be cooking it until done (even though I absolutely can't stand it when the packages say "cook until done"... because would you PLEASE be more vague?🤣).

To my surprise, I do not have an awful lot to say today. One might even say I'm ruining the format, for the previous posts I made had quite a (relatively) high word count. That said though - and some people close to me know this very well - every time I say I don't have much to say I end up writing twice or thrice as normal. Which leads us to conclusion that, perhaps, I actually do have things to say?!.. Either way, I'm sure you're not yet tired of me rumbling on and on about strange things that only some people - primarily digital artists - understand... Namely my habits of work. I am sure quite methodical in the way I draw, perhaps oddly. So I'll continue being technical for a while, until I run out of techy topics to talk about. And when I do... then I'll just spam more pictures 😁

However... A small demonstration of progress would be good for a wee little "teaser" of sorts:

(Note the layer names. I often make typos when I rename the layers - and I just don't bother and leave them as is, because it doesn't really matter. Pains me as a languages and grammar nerd, of course, but also entertains me a bit 🤣 Also, the cigarette smoke has been drawn on a separate layer as well, and it humorously states how I feel about this particular habit of this charming dirtymouth individual. Eeeew, Lothar. Not cool.) I do not always do that, but sometimes I start off drawing the outlines of the characters' bodies and end up "wrapping" clothes around them afterwards, like on the screenshots above. I think the reason why I completed the work on Chapter 3 so unbelievably fast last year was due to the fact that on majority of the frames Lothar appeared topless... Because I've noticed that when the characters don't have much clothes on them, it takes significantly less time to draw them. But of course!.. In this case you don't have to draw every single fold and wrinkle on shirts and skirts, extra seams on jeans, or additional stylish detail on any piece of garment that looks far too plain without it... Drawing characters naked - or half-naked - sure saves an artist a TREMENDOUS amount of time and effort. ... I suspect this is also the reason why in a lot of modern comics and mangas - and animated shows, too - the artists tend to include a lot of nudity in their projects... Why yes, isn't it obvious?! Because who, pray tell, wants to spend extra hours drawing all the clothes anyway?! Come on, clothes are overrated! I'm sure of it now.

... That was plenty enough of cynicism and sarcasm for a single post, I guess. Alas! I'm rumbling, again! That was not planned by me! So let's move on to the main part of this post now! Finally, on to the techy stuff, as promised! Yum! 🤤

First of all, I would like to mention a very important change in the way I work on my graphic novel now. One fine day, not long ago, I have discovered something... that turned my digital artist's world upside down. And the name of the phenomena that shattered my whole life was... Krita's weighted smoothing for the brush. (ok, ok... that sounded very exaggerated and pompous. But oh well!)

The screenshot on the left shows the brush settings I used all the time prior to Chapter 5. I used amazing Krita's Stabilizer smoothing, because I found it quite useful back in the day as I only started to use my Huion graphic monitor. I was so fascinated with it... It truly felt magical after a few years of using "a blind", screenless Wacom drawing tablet (which I will never ever go back to, for, to be honest, I have no idea how I was able to draw anything 🤣... tried using it a couple years ago just to see the difference, and I ended up exclaiming, "How in the ❤❤❤❤ do you even draw on this thing?!", and I set it aside for good... to collect real thicc layers of dust on the shelf 🤣). The right screenshot depicts the current settings I use for the weighted smoothing. Those are the Krita defaults.

An unskilled eye would probably not even notice any remarkable difference between the two as they watch somebody drawing in real time - or if they compare my older works versus the very latest ones. I must admit, the difference is sure very subtle. But to me, there's enough of a difference in how it FEELS when I'm drawing. The lines turn out better overall, somehow it makes me feel as if I'm drawing on paper rather than on a slippery screen. I could say, to me weighted smoothing imitates pencil drawing on paper very well. Which ultimately means... it's easier to draw in general. Thus, the digital artworks look more like my regular artworks on paper. It makes me happy that I can just be me when I'm drawing on both paper and on the graphic monitor. Back in the day, I was very worried about how switching to digital format was gonna impact my peculiar art style. Turns out it hardly does. ... Not that drawing on a graphic monitor has ever been challenging to me, for I learnt pretty fast, and yet, at times something felt a little off. So right now, I ponder, there's gonna be much less "off" and much more "awesome". Which is indeed lovely.

Now I question myself on why I've never used this brush smoothing before, for I truly think it would've made the process of work much faster and the final result a tad nicer. This proves that one needs a perspective, a few types of materials to compare before springing to any sort of conclusions. Seems like back in the day weighted smoothing simply didn't get enough attention and any sufficient "test drive" from me. But I am very happy I discovered this wonderful thing now. And I'm gonna stick to it - quite possibly forever from now on, as I will keep working on the rest of "Time & Again" chapters as well as everything else including random little arts with the other characters that I love to sporadically work on every so often, and the pieces for my online greeting cards store, and such.

... Like I already mentioned in the beginning of this post, as I write - I might get seriously carried away. And I see this post keeps growing bigger and bigger in size, again, so I should better wrap it up and save a little more exciting information for the next post (that I will hopefully try to schedule properly in order to restore more or less consistent posting timeframe, for now it's aaaaaall over the place!.. no promises tho).

I'm afraid, no animated gifs today. But for a nice goodbye, I'll drop a little "teaser" picture - a very rough sketch for some other "Time & Again" artwork that I'm going to finish up shortly (hopefully).

You will most likely see the end result of this particular artistic torment as a layout element on my social pages.

And for now - doooooodly doot doot! - I wave goodbye and leave the online world for a while to keep working on my obsession... and to eat some peanut butter, too, of course. See ya next time! 👋

[va-diarydash]

A Gloomy Atmosphere

July 28, 2023

Waking up again today with low energy that affects my motivation to work, I tried staying a bit longer in my bed and pondering... Is it because of the weather? Does the gloomy weather affect my mood today? I tried to understand why I am having low energy and being unmotivated at work again when I have been doing better these past few days. Then I realized, I am actually happy today, but my head hurts and my throat is starting to hurt too. So it is not about my mood or my emotions; it is because I am not physically okay. I am sick!

Physical health is important too, and we tend to overlook it unless we feel something wrong with our bodies. We forget to listen to our bodies, especially when we are busy and occupied with our work. For someone like me, who is on a journey of self-discovery, it can also affect my mental health.

Despite being sick, I decided to go to work. Surprisingly, I managed to work and function fairly well despite the headache. However, I had to log out earlier than my usual schedule to take a nap and rest my head. The workplace was still filled with a lot of pressure, with new projects kicking off while old ones were still ongoing. This time, I made an effort to be open with my co-managers, expressing how the increasing workload was affecting me. Although they couldn't directly help with the workload due to their own busyness, their encouraging words provided significant support. I also found that expressing my feelings aloud brought some relief and a sense of peace.

When it comes to socializing in groups, I've learned not to feel pressured to give advice when someone opens up about their problems. Sometimes, just listening attentively is enough for them, and it's better to speak up when we are confident in what we want to say. This approach has helped me feel more relaxed during group conversations, even when others share their problems.

I've also come to realize that my discomfort with group activities doesn't stem from a lack of desire to socialize with others, but rather from my fear of potential embarrassment or awkward situations that might draw attention to me. Overcoming this fear is something I still need to work on. Initiating small talk remains a challenge, especially with people I'm not close to, and socializing with others still feels like a struggle. Nevertheless, I'm content with my progress because bit by bit, I am uncovering the reasons behind these difficulties, and I am gradually understanding the root causes of my discomfort in social situations.

Positive Talk:

- Physical health is as important as mental health.

- Learn to pause and understand the cause of your emotions.

- You don't always need to give advice; sometimes, listening is enough.

- Don't put pressure on yourself during a conversation."

[coollyinterferes]

Coming back to 234354657687 p*rn b*ts in the follower count...

“Not t’ be a killjoy, ladies, but I’m shamelessly gay and not interested...” Please go away.

[webbedphantom]

He didn't need to worry. He'd been through some crazy things, but never anything like that.

... Not yet, anyway-

"Oh, he'll definitely be enough!" Aaron chimed in, clear excitement on his mask.

"The world we're going to isn't even in the 2100's, so even though worlds with super people tend to be far more advanced than worlds without them, it shouldn't be an issue for him."

Man, just the idea of working with a sentient AI was making him all giddy. Sure, he'd already met one, even if poor Sophie was trapped in Futaba's armor systems, but that didn't make this any less cool.

He couldn't help but chuckle at the other's apology. Is this what it was like for everyone else when he argued with Arsène?

"It is pretty handy... Though, it kinda freaked me out at first. Before I accepted Arsène, I didn't have any control over it. So one minute I'm enjoying my lunch and talking with Ryuji, the next I'm having a minor panic attack after seeing that my legs were just gone-"

Yep, even the small amount of darkness beneath the table was enough to activate that power. And the rest of his abilities had been similarly disorienting.

He marveled a bit at his explanation of Shinigami. It was very different from the Personas he knew, though he supposed that it made sense. It's not like the Metaverse was the only supernatural thing in existence.

"Well, either way, let's hope that your little friend can't set off their danger senses from whatever ethereal plane he calls home."

He didn't think that he could, though it's not like he knew how it all worked, both the creature in question, as well as the sixth sense they were trying to avoid.

"Don't worry! I've made something similar in the past." He remarked proudly. "Though this particular iteration is going to need some chemistry knowledge. Thankfully, I happen to know a certain student council president who's an expert in the field~"

He was so lucky to have such smart friends. Between his engineering skills, Makoto's chemical know how, and Futaba's computer science wizardry, there was almost nothing they couldn't make together. Sure, it wouldn't be too fancy, he was limited on parts, not to mention his budget for said parts, but it'd get the job done.

"Awesome! See ya next week then!"

With that, he headed over to the window by his bed, lifting it open and preparing to swing away.

"Oh, and feel free to hang around here for a bit if you want. Just be sure to take your glasses off if you head downstairs. I don't really wear mine anymore, so it might raise some suspicion for anyone not in the know."

Granted, Sojiro and his team were well aware of his counterpart's situation, but he was more worried about the regulars or his other neighbors... or Tae for that matter. Having to explain the multiverse to the doctor did not sound fun-

"Oh, and don't touch anything on my desk. Some of those projects are a bit sensitive... and explosive-"

"... anyways, I gotta patrol. Catch ya later!"

He fired out a webline, before tugging sharply on it and swinging away.

____________________________________________

Shibuya Crossing - Rooftop

Saturday - December 23rd

One Week Later

Things had gone fairly well since the two had last met up. He'd gotten a little distracted spending time with his friends, and his Aunt, who'd come to visit him for the season, but he'd still managed to gather what they needed.

However, due to his adoptive mother-figure's surprise arrival, they'd needed to move their meeting elsewhere. She wasn't exactly privy to his other life, and since he'd planned to keep it that way, he didn't want to risk her running into him.

He swung onto the scene, his bookbag hanging off his shoulder as he landed gracefully in front of the other.

"Sorry I'm late. Ran into a guy robbing banks with a very large wheel... But I got the gear!"

He took the bag off his shoulder, before opening it up, tossing two metal bracelets and two dark red cartridges to his counterpart.

"These are webshooters! Makoto came in clutch with the formula to make the actual webs, should be near identical to what the Society uses."

He'd be sure to explain how they worked, as well as the function of those odd red pieces, but for now, it was best to focus on the task at hand. The infiltration plan.

He pulled out a small projector, switching it on before tossing it on the floor, allowing it to display a holographic map of their target. Earth-928's Alchemax Tower, the main headquarters of the Spider-Society.

The tower was impossibly tall, over twice the height of the Empire State Building. Along the building were orange lines and bright red areas, as well as their destination, the Go-Home Machine, marked in yellow.

"Hobie did his best to fill in the patrol routes and public hangout spots from memory, but he doesn't know if they'll still be accurate. What he does know is that most members should be in their home dimensions for the holidays, meaning we won't have nearly as many Spiders to sneak around."

"Lastly, the security seems less worried about keeping people out, and more about keeping them in, especially on the higher floors. Meaning that our best way in will likely be towards the top of the building."

A lot of the patrols seemed to focused around the prison area, which was a good ways away from their target. If they could avoid being detected, they might not even have to worry about the guards.

"So... What's the plan?"

"I'm up for swapping stories if you are." Seakira chuckled. "Though I admit it wasn't so much 'sun' as... very white. To the point Arsene was white. White and gold, and myself as well. White hair, white skin - porcelain-like, not... you know. Caucasian."

"Anyone who knew about Yaldabaoth would probably have probably thought I was one of his minions." It also hurt like the damned, and wasn't something he hoped anyone else had gone through. Certainly not his alternates, that was for sure.

And certainly not this one. Seakira liked this Joker, and didn't want to learn he'd ALSO basically temporarily fried his soul to help a world not die.

"Not sure who Nichole is, but my guess is probably, yeah~! If Nichole is a little mechanical lifeform with a mind of her own~" He knew Sonic, but never really payed attention to the series - Seakira hoped that wasn't gonna get him roped into a watch party.

Or did he? It had been a while since he'd watched any television... Hm. Something to think on later.

"Kenzo's usually enough, hacking-wise - his worlds time period was..." Seakira trailed off, at which point, said little droid happily chimed in to help-

'The last year I was aware of it being, it was 3234. Then I was... caught. And stuck with The Spider for a while...'

"Ah, yes, thank you - 3234 was the last date he was aware of back in his home world, so usually he's more than enough, hacking-wise. Most machines and codes in modern day just aren't robust enough to be much of a challenge, according to him."

'Of course they aren't! Most systems outside of my world have a single security check and that's it - they don't even have a basic VI to-'

"Okay, okay, calm down, we can rant about 2000's security not being up to the standards of a 3000's machine lifeform later-" He could feel the little droid huffing in the back of his... mind, resettling into whatever silent corner he usually sat in. "Sorry. Anyway, where were we... Ah. Yes, mildly jealous of the invisibility thing since I don't have that yet, and... Shinigami isn't a Persona, per say. He's a creature I met in another world, made a deal with him. It's effectively a more mutualistic 'I give you power and you give me things' contract, but I've never been sure if he's on my person or just reaching through realities." He might've been hitchhiking in his body, now, come to think of it - alternate realities might be too far for even a Voidsent to reach...

"All that aside, a grapple that they'd tune out sounds like it'd be very handy - if it's not too difficult, of course. I've been sent into places with less advantage. It all sounds good to me, though - an EMP might be a bit tricky, but I'm confidant I can come up with one. So... Yeah~! Sounds good." He took a breath - trying to tamp down the excitement he was feeling - breaking into a place full of heros, AND possibly finding a way home?

One hell of a Christmas gift, for everyone involved.

[violettelueur]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒 — 𝐀𝐋𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌

SUMMARY. being alhaitham does make locals of sumeru question your sanity but the second you feel his touch, you no longer worry about anything but him.

CHARACTER(S). alhaitham

PRONOUNS. she/her (does say 'lady')

TW/CONTEXT. use of pet names (dear, princess), small bit of sensual activities

AUTHOR NOTE. so a lot of things have happened, the new chainsaw man trailer is out and aki looks handsome as always. the genshin livestream, where so much more lore was gifted and i am excited for alhaitham and cyno's fight and the jujutsu kaisen season two visual where the SSS trio look amazing as well (suguru the love of my life looks handsome as always). also i know the ending is bad so please don’t comment on that…ʕ； •`ᴥ•´ʔ

If you were to ask someone about Alhaitham, they would look at you perplexed before giving you a harsh critique of the man.

“Alhaitham is a genius, don’t get me wrong, but he’s too robotics…”

“Be careful of Alhaitham, he is a very rational person. However, he’s not a good person to be friends with!”

“Alhaitham…I hate people who think they are better than others, just because they are part of the Akademiya.”

However, if you were to ask the residents of Sumeru about the lady who seemed to be alway by his side (more like he was by hers), there would be a sudden turn of opinions.

“Miss Y/N is a wonderful person, even though she is so busy being the manager at Puspa Cafe, she still helps alot of the students with their work!”

“The manager is a one of a kind, so patient with the elderly and quite welcoming with travelers, definitely has the hearts of the Sumeru people.”

“Y/N is a very smart person, so I don’t know why she disappeared from the Akademiya, but the fact that she is with Alhaitham is…weird…”

“I don’t think working at the cafe is efficient for you, dear.”

Looking up from his papers, Alhiatham’s eyes steadily met yours before he tiredly leaned back on the wooden chair while letting out a prolonged sigh, as if he was holding in his breath for quite some time. From what you could recall, your acting manager was quite desperate to call you for help due to the sudden high workload leading you to ask one of the students to relay a message to Alhaitham that you weren’t able to see him today…only to suddenly find him seated in the corner of the cafe once the busy hours had come to a slowdown.

“It’s fine, I was…worried when I heard you couldn’t come,” Alhaitham confessed before you pull a chair to sit next to him.

Softly smiling, you could help but coo over your lover’s worries over you before looking down at the papers that were displayed in a disordered fashion. Writings upon writings on linguistics and translations of different pieces of literature brought some memories of the time when you were at the Akademiya...but that was a story for another time. “Do you want some coffee, it seems you have been here for a while,” you asked before raising your hand to gently caress his cheek with the back of your fingers - letting a pinkish hue rise upon his cheeks if you looked closely enough.

Physical affection with Alhaitham was something that was somewhat evident in your relationship, the people of Sumeru can confirm that due to the amount of time they have seen you both out together. Yet if you had a proper conversation with your lover about this topic, you both would agree that you both weren’t the affectionate type.

Taking your hand in his, Alhaitham lightly placed a kiss on your inner palm before lingering a bit longer than needed - maybe it was because of the longer time you both were separated today, you weren’t so sure?

“I’m fine, it seems like you were quite busy…I don’t want you to tire yourself out,” Alhaitham answered before going back to his papers to continue with his project. Nevertheless, when you cast your gaze down, you noticed how his and your hand was still intertwined on the table.

“Well, I’m going to make you one anyways and I might as well bring some baklava for the both of us,” you suggested before getting up from your seat while noticing how Alhaitham’s grip tightened. Even though he didn’t say anything, you had the knowledge that he didn’t want you to go, but he needed to be taken care of after waiting for you for a few hours.

“I’ll be back in 10 minutes max, I promise I won’t be long,” you reassured the scribe before beginning to depart to prepare the snack you had planned...Yet even when you were walking away, you still couldn’t help but want to relish on his touch just a little longer. Even as you were going away, your intertwined hands were still gently held on to each other, telling each other that it wasn't time to let go yet...maybe just a little longer. However, distance had to become your enemy as it was too great for your arms to reach, leaving your hands to gradually disconnect from one another, leaving you both to miss the affection already.

The Akademiya. If you could avoid it, you simply would. However, with your history with the prestigious institute, there was simply no way you could steer clear of it anytime soon - especially when you were friends with the famous Lisa Minci, who also graduated with you in advanced studies.

Still, when Alhaitham invited you to keep him company or to help him with something…you never refused. Even if it meant you both were going to sit in silence while he worked and you read, you still accepted his offer to go to the Akademiya to keep him company.

Students will confess to you that they were surprised to see you at the institution, but they would be more confused about how Alhaitham would be there with you since they're used to seeing him work alone. Although, within the same conversation, the female students in the cafe would gush how adorable you both were (a rare compliment for the Akademiya lunatic) since they would always notice how you both hold hands on the table, making them wish they had a school romance - something you actually never really realised.

At this moment in time, you were seated opposite to your lover while looking over the books and files he had laid out for you both to study since he was having “difficulty” understanding something and needed you to guide him to the conclusion. What a liar.

Yet without hesitation, you began to notice how Alhaitham’s arm was suddenly stretched out on the table, relaxing next to yours before his index finger steadily began to ghostly trace the shape of your fingers as if he was teasing or conveying a message that only you would understand. Deciding to ignore this, you continued to scan through the papers only to pause again, once you felt something tenderly taking a hold of your fingers, only to peer up again to find the ‘lunatic’ scribe acting like he wasn’t doing something that would make you embarrassingly tremble at if you weren't seated.

“Are you testing me?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow while putting away the book he was analysing to obtain another one.

“I don’t think I could call this testing…more of…making you want more?” you replied in a questionable tone, before grabbing another sheet of paper to study.

“Oh?”

“Thank you for the flowers, you really didn’t need to,” you smiled at the handsome scribe before holding the bouquet of Sumeru roses closer to your chest, as if you were embracing the joy and fondness you were feeling from Alhaitham’s gift. Even though, Alhaitham didn’t know why you were so cheerful by the gift he had presented, he couldn’t help but get you one every time he had a stop at Port Ormos leaving the vendor to be confused since they never really understood why the rational man would spend so much on different flowers every week. One week would be the commonly known Sumeru roses and the next it would be Liyue’s speciality of Qingxins - never caring about the price.

People at Port Omros were suddenly starting to notice the admirable interaction, as they were also bewildered by how the robotic man of the Akademiya was affectionately smiling down at the charming Puspa Cafe manager. Those your relationship was well known across Sumeru, it was still a surprise to see the couple in reality making you and Alhaitham become aware of the gazes and stares that were directed toward you both.

“Let’s go,” Alhaitham stated before placing his hand upon your lower back to guide you somewhere more private, where you would be more comfortable.

However, the eyes that were upon you didn't seem to matter anymore. The feeling of sudden warmth that Alhaitham's hand brought made you forget the displeasure that you were feeling just a few seconds ago. Yet, even when you knew this was something natural he was going...there was a small part of you that thought he knew the effect of his touch had on you.

“Are you teasing me?” you asked curiously causing the scribe to pause his stride before turning his head to look at you.

“Really? Is that what you think I’m doing after giving you flowers?” Alhaitham responded before his hand began to slowly travel upwards on your back, gently tracing the shape of your spine causing a spark of electo to ignite within you as you tense at his sudden action.

“In fact...yes I do,” you answer timidly as you began to pay attention to how his hand was now sensually travelling to the back of your neck, aware of how his thumb was now caressing the side of it, near behind your ear almost making you notice how Alhaitham was now steadily and masterfully making you weak within his arms.

Lowering his head down to your level, Alhaitham couldn’t help but place a lingering kiss upon the apple of your cheek before slowly moving towards the shell of your ear to place another, leaving you to slightly feel his breath. Smirking, Alhaitham noticed how your eyes were now closed, knowing that you were feeling lightheaded from the small pleasure he was gifting you with pride swelling up in his chest.

“If I was really teasing you, wouldn’t I be doing this instead?” he whispered, while pushing your hair aside to place another kiss upon your neck causing you to moan softly as you grabbed hold of the fabric of his shirt for support.

“Don’t drop the flowers princess…”

© violettelueur 2022 - all rights are reserved to violettelueur. Do not repost, copy, change/modify, plagiarise, translate or screenshot my work : this will also include other social media/writing platforms like AO3, Wattpad, TikTok and many more.

[rainbowsky]

I became a fan of GG and DD through CQL in 2021. In comparing old and current media footage of Xiao Zhan, I've now noticed GG rarely smiles in public appearances or just gives a small, perfunctory, professional smile. We rarely see the genuine, joyful smile (face lights up, eyes crinkle, smile meets his eyes). Seems GG is not only more guarded verbally, but also with his facial expressions, and body language. Just curious to hear your thoughts.

Hi Anon, that’s a topic I definitely have thoughts on... 😅

I've seen a lot of fans - especially solo fans - say that GG ‘doesn’t seem like the same person he used to be’, and in most cases seems to me like they're trying to draw some kind of conclusion about his mental health and level of general happiness post 2/27, which really chafes me the wrong way. (Not saying that’s what you’re doing, Anon, just saying it’s a very common thing among GG and GGDD fans).

And I personally think it’s a combination of ‘people seeing what they want/expect to see’ alongside a removal of - or disregard for - context.

We need to keep in mind the types of activities that he's been involved in over the last while. Most of it has been more formal, such as press conferences and endorsement events. The kind of thing where you're not going to really see him let loose the way you might see him on a variety show or in a more laid-back setting.

Another thing to keep in mind is the climate of the entertainment industry, which has shifted significantly over the last couple of years. There is an expectation that celebrities will project a ‘strong, upright, patriotic, morally correct’ image, and lead audiences to do the same. Gone are the days of having fun, letting loose and being ‘entertaining’ (in fact, Happy Camp’s demise was partially due to its being deemed ‘too entertaining’).

Add to that the fact that he's trying to move away from the traffic star/idol image and into a more serious actor image, and you'll see that there are some good reasons for the minor shifts that we have seen.

Having said that, he has done a lot of candid videos like the cute one from Universal Studios and things like that where you see him being bubbly and cute and funny and laughing a lot. Of course, given those other factors even those are going to be a little bit more subdued than they would have been a couple of years ago, but he’s obviously still a happy, lighthearted guy.

So he is still GG, nothing has really changed significantly about his personality, I think it's just a combination of factors that put him in more conservative settings where he wants to project a more serious image. But behind the scenes when he's just making fan videos he's still the sweet cute guy he always has been.

[mercurygguk]

winter soldier | jjk

genre; winter soldier/avengers au, angst/smut/fluff

pairing; winter soldier!jungkook x avenger!female reader

summary; the love of your life died during ww2, they honored his death. you had never imagined you’d ever see him again until you’d join him in death, but here he is and he’s trying to kill you. he’s not himself at all. you, however, insist that the man you used to know is still in there somewhere.

word count; 6,764

warnings; descriptions of war/battle/fight scenes, descriptions of scars, the rest of the avengers joins the party, reader is like Cap A but not like Cap A, you know??, jungkook looking hella hot with his long hair and steel arm, inspiration from ‘captain america: winter soldier’, swearing, SMUT; explicit sexual activities, oral (f. receiving), love making at its highest- nothing kinky, just plain ol’ sex

a/n; okay so um, i’m binge-watching the avengers movies atm and i was watching Captain America: Winter Soldier. i kid you not, throughout the entire movie i was imagining what jungkook would look like as the winter soldier- jungkook combined with superheroes is like the perfect story, amirite?? ;)) enjoy!

ps. once again, i didn’t proof read so ignore my possible mistakes lol

(for reference, this is what jungkook’s hair looks like in this fic)

War.

Terrorizing. Horrifying. Absolutely petrifying.

There are several words to use when talking about it, describing it, reliving it. Once you’ve experienced it, it will haunt you till the day you die and even beyond that. There isn’t much positive to take from it, not many positive memories come to you as you think back to the time during war. Only one positive memory returns to you from those dark times...

Him.

Him who did not fit in with the military services due to his lack of strength and speed. Him who never let anyone step upon him and evolved with the job. Him who never backed down from a challenge or an order given from the highest ranks. Him who had braveness unlike anyone, loyalty like no other, a will to fight for what’s worth it and to win. Him who made you fall for him without meaning to. Him who promised he would always come back to you, no matter what happened.

And then one day he didn’t. They had told you he went down in the fight, died for his country, for his team. He hadn’t hesitated to sacrifice himself, thrown himself towards the threat in the hopes of ending it for everyone once and for all. That he did. He killed himself in the process of saving everyone else.

A hero is what they had called him. Honored his name, saluting as they all stood facing his military photograph, serious faces and emotionless eyes all over. Tears had filled your eyes that day, but they didn't fall. You refused to let them. There was no way you would cry because of a liar. A coward, really. Anger kept you going, anger aimed at him. A rage so intense that you would convince yourself that you hated him. Some people would call you selfish, selfish for hating a man who sacrificed himself for everyone else. They were right. You were selfish. But love makes you selfish, and you loved him. So ridiculously much.

Years later, decades into the new century he remains as a positive yet heartbreaking and frustrating memory in your mind and heart. You haven’t aged a day thanks to the advanced technology and the project you offered to be the experiment of, in the end of the war. After his death and the war seeming more out of control than ever, you thought there wasn’t much more to live for, so you volunteered. A successful masterpiece, professor Kim had said as you regained consciousness on the lab table. You were his greatest, most succeeded experiment. You still are, except for the fact that Kim Namjoon is no longer walking among people on earth.

Now you’re living as the successful masterpiece he has created. Stronger, faster – young too even though your real age is something near 98. It doesn’t show. You look like any other 23-year-old but with extraordinary strength and speed. Being a part of a team as the Avengers truly has given you a meaning of life, a purpose that you didn’t feel you had before joining this outstanding team of superheroes as some would call you.

But as you stand here, in the middle of a battlefield that is scarily similar to those back in the 1940’s, you feel small. Gunshots fire around you, flying past your head and ringing in your ears. Explosions going off from the shots fired by Stark, Iron Man as he’s known as. The grounds breaking from the power of Thor’s hammer, the bad guys falling like flies in the hands of Widow. You’re watching it all unfold, breathing for a split second as robots are charging at you with red, glowing eyes.

For God’s sake, just how many of these are there?

Keeping yourself from rolling your eyes in pure annoyance, you set off running towards them with an unmatched speed, fists up and ready to take them out. One goes down after another, surrendering to your very angry, very powerful fists. Your patience is running thin as the robots keep appearing from left and right, setting their focus on you as demanded by whoever’s controlling them. A person you haven’t managed to find yet, but determined to hunt down and put a bullet through their head.

“Hey, Thor!” You call out to the nordic God flying around you, punching fists through robots and throwing his hammer at them. He glances your way, finding you surrounded by robots, too many for you to fight by yourself. “A lil hand here?”

He nods in response, immediately dropping to the ground and plunging his hammer into the asphalt on the ground, lightning seeping through the ground and into the robots, taking them down and splitting them in half. Thor throws a smug smirk at you before turning back around to fight another round of robots. You roll your eyes, about to run off when shots are being fired at you.

“Shit!” You hiss, running to hide behind a tipped-over truck while fishing out a gun from the strap around your thigh. You lean out, aiming in the direction of the shots. There is a man with long, dark hair, a black mask covering half his face and a silver arm that does not look familiar at all. The mysterious man steps onto the railing of the bridge he fired shots from, hard glare focused on you as he steps out and lets himself fall to the ground beneath the bridge. He lands on his feet, supporting himself with the silver fist into the asphalt. He stands to his height, walking straight towards you and leaving a mark in the asphalt where he had landed. Your eyes widen as he holds up a machine gun, opening fire at you as you scramble to run off while loading more shots into your gun.

Peeking around the corner of the brick building you’re hiding behind, you hold your gun up to aim at him. You fire a bullet, hitting his silver arm. He doesn’t budge, the bullet not even leaving a bump in the silver.

“What the-” you gape, firing shots again. He holds his silver hand up, the bullets bouncing off like they’re made of cotton, still walking towards you with eyes focused on you. There’s something about him that seems familiar – maybe his build? Or the way he walks? Or was it the slightly curly hair on top of his head? You can’t quite pin it as you watch him get closer, fists clenched tightly at his sides as if he’s ready to throw punches at you. You contemplate running to him, throwing the first punch at him before he gets to you. There is a slight hesitancy in your body as you can’t shake off how awfully familiar he seems the closer he gets to you. Knowing what the right thing to do is, you step out from your hiding spot, collecting all strength as you charge at him. A yell of anger and confusion rumbles from your chest as you jump on the last step, fist pulled back only for it to be forced forward and into the center of the mysterious man’s chest.

He stumbles back slightly, gaining his balance quickly before he steps closer, throwing a punch at you as well. You dodge, throwing your leg into his side in a strong kick. He grunts as he catches your leg, pulling on it to force you towards him. You ram into him, his clenched fist connecting with your jaw. You groan in pain as you fall to the ground, landing before his feet. Squinting at him, you watch as he kneels down over you, holding you down against the ground. As he stares at you, raising his hand to deliver a punch to your face again, you realize it as your eyes meet his. You gasp softly, not believing the sight in front of you. It’s a known fact that you would recognize those deep, brown eyes anywhere in any given moment.

“J-Jungkook?”

The sound of your voice, the sound of his name falling from your lips has him freezing for a split second. His eyes shift between yours as he slowly begins to sink his fist. But not even seconds later he’s raising his fist again and that’s when you can tell that he does not recognize you. He is looking at you as if you’re a complete stranger, like he didn’t spend the last year of his life telling you that he loved you more than life itself.

His gaze fills with the only feeling he feels, hatred. He moves to force his silver fist down and into your face, a face he used to call beautiful as he traced his finger tips along the edges. You barely dodge it, trying your very best to meet his eyes again as you call his name.

“Jungkook!” You fight the tears that are brimming your eyes as you continue to dodge his hits the best you can, “Hey! It’s me!”

He’s not holding off, continuing to throw punches at you and hitting the asphalt as you squirm in between his thighs. He’s impeccably strong, the asphalt cracking under the jabs of his fists. His thighs are keeping you in place as he pins you to the ground, your arms locked along your sides. You know he’ll punch you to death if you don’t get inside his head. It seems nearly impossible as his eyes are trained on you, emotionless and angry, only a small glimt of the man you used to know in them.

“____! Might wanna duck down a bit,” Tony shouts as he flies in your direction, his glowing hand aimed at Jungkook.

Your eyes widen in horror as you scramble together all the strength you have, throwing Jungkook off you and away from the deathly ray of light coming from Tony’s palm.

“No!”

The shot hits the asphalt a few meters away from you, nearly grazing Jungkook but it doesn’t, thankfully. Tony is shocked as he comes to a halt in the air, staring between Jungkook and you. You wave a hand at him. “I got him,” you assure him as you pant out breaths of air, nodding towards Widow and Thor, “go help the others.”

The man in the iron suit in front of you seems to hesitate for a second as he looks at you. He catches the pleading look on your face, glancing back at Jungkook for a moment before nodding at you once and flying in the direction of Widow and Thor, aiming his shots at the robots that are still coming from all sides. You turn your attention back to Jungkook, the body of the love of your life but not the eyes or mind of him.

“Jungkook,” you try again, slowly stepping closer as he stays still, slightly shocked that you had saved him from Iron Man’s deadly shot, “it’s me, ____.”

You’re begging, tone pleading him and hands up in surrender as you slowly step closer to him. He’s breathing hard, chest rising and falling in deep breaths. His eyes are dark, cold and distant as you get even closer. He’s frozen in his spot. He seems confused behind that hard expression, confused because you look less terrified than you did before realizing who he is. He doesn’t flinch or move away from your hand as it inches closer to his face, reaching for the black mask on his face.

“Hey,” you softly say, hesitating to touch him as you let a single tear escape and roll down your cheek. Something flashes in his eyes as he looks into your wet eyes, a small hint of recognition, familiarity too. Maybe he remembers. You hope he does. He lets you pull the black mask off completely, the strong line of his jaw appearing in front of you as well as his pink lips you used to kiss so often in that hidden place you liked to meet almost every night. “It’s me,” you whisper, “it’s ____.”

You’re afraid you’re imagining things as tears build up in the corner of his eyes, his jaw tightening. It’s too much for him. The memories returning with full force, the emotions filling his chest and warming it for the first time in 70 years. He wants to cry. He doesn’t know whether it's happiness because you’re right here in front of him, after he thought he would never get to see you again as he took his last breath back in 1944, or sadness because he’s well aware that he almost killed you if you hadn’t pushed him off you.

“____?” His voice betrays him as it cracks, your name coming out in a croaked voice. More tears escape as you hear your name falling from his lips for the first time since that morning in the military camp where he said ‘see you soon’ and then never returned. He freezes as you throw yourself at him, arms wrapped around him as you pull him closer in a tight hug. The sniffles and muffled cries you let out breaks his emotionless, cold heart and filling it with a warmth he hasn’t felt in so long. A tear escapes from the corner of his eye as he lets his own arms snake their way around your waist, hugging you just as tight as you hug him.

Relief.

That’s what he’s feeling.

Jungkook wanders around inside Stark’s office, eyes exploring things as he calmly runs his silver hand over them. You watch him from a few feet away, arms crossed over your chest. Worry is filling your entire body as his back is turned to you. He still doesn’t seem like himself. There is something about him that makes you anxious, something about him makes you wonder if he’ll turn at any moment, falling back into whatever sort of amnesia he has been experiencing for the past decades.

You jump in surprise when the door opens beside you, revealing Tony. He notices your jumbled state, giving you a small, half smile. You turn your eyes back to Jungkook who’s picking at an ancient-looking sculpture on Tony’s desk causing Tony to take a step closer.

“Hey! Buddy!” He calls out, catching Jungkook’s attention. “Don’t touch that, please. It’s antique.”

Jungkook steps away from the desk, hands up in mock surrender, emptiness in his eyes as if he couldn’t care less about Tony’s antique sculpture. No one really cared about that sculpture. It’s doomed to break at some point when it’s placed in his office, in the Avengers building.

“Tony,” you catch the attention of the older man, looking straight at him with hopeful, desperate eyes, “can you help him?”

He turns to face Jungkook, looking him over from head to toe. “Friday, give me a scan of whatever’s controlling Jungkook.”

Anticipated, you wait while biting a nail. Jungkook doesn’t move an inch as Friday scans him for anything to help Tony figure out a way to help. He’s glancing from Tony to you, his eyes meeting yours. Seconds. It takes seconds from his stare meeting yours to something flicking behind his dark brown irises, something inside of him snapping like the tips of someone’s fingers. Your eyes widen in panic as you move to stand between Tony and Jungkook.

“Tony!” You shout, moving fast as you try to get in between the two men. Tony has already activated his iron hand, catching Jungkook’s silver fist right before it hits him square in the face. You come to a halt, staring in surprise as Tony tightens his hold on Jungkook’s fist, forcing him to the ground. “Tony, please, don’t hurt him. He’s not in his right mind!”

“Oh, really?” Tony scoffs, sarcasm dripping from each word. A small yelp leaves your mouth as Tony kicks his knee up under Jungkook’s jaw, knocking him out. Jungkook falls limp to the floor, eyes closed as he’s kicked unconscious by Tony. You kneel down beside him, brushing his long strands of hair out of his face. He looks peaceful as he lays there, completely unconscious, and yet there’s a furrowed look on his face, like he’s never free from whatever that is controlling him. You sigh deeply, head dropping as you cradle Jungkook’s hand in your own. Tony’s palm rests on your shoulder. You glance up at him. He gives you a small, reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, we’ll help him,” he tells you. You nod, knowing he spoke the truth.

“Thank you.”

The frustrated look and furrowed eyebrows are gone. He looks genuinely peaceful this time, long lashes resting on the top of his cheeks as he rests beneath the sheets on your bed. You can’t help yourself as you reach out, palm cupping his cheek, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone in a soft caress. Hopefully you’ll have the love of your life back once he wakes up from the deep sleep Tony put him in.

You’re about to move away, retrieving your hand from his cheek just as you hear him whimper softly. Turning back to him, you watch as his lower lip begins to quiver, eyebrows furrowed tightly together. “No,” he whimpers again, head shaking in his sleep. “Please, no! Don’t!”

Worry fills you once again as you sit on the edge of the bed beside him, hands cupping his face between them. “Jungkook,” you softly call, trying your best to wake him without startling him. “Jungkook, my love, please wake up. Please!”

Startled, you gasp as his eyes shoot open, his lips parting as he gasps for air. He’s looking right into your startled, widened eyes. It takes a minute for him to realize who you are and where he is, the surroundings not seeming familiar at all, but it feels nice. The aura, the warmth and the dimmed lighting in the bedroom where he’s tucked under the sheets.

“Hey,” you breathe out as you smile, not sure what to say to him. Tony had made sure to help him, get whatever that was controlling him out of him, his head to himself now and slowly filling with memories, both good and bad ones. “How are you feeling?”

He groans as he moves to sit up. You help him straighten up, making sure he has a pillow for his back as he leans back against the head of the bed. He closes his eyes tightly together as he drops his head back, still trying to calm his erratic breathing. You sit back in the chair you had pulled to the bedside when you got here.

“I feel…” he begins, words feeling foreign on his tongue as he speaks with a croaking voice. He sighs deeply. This is a lot for his head to take in in just one day. “I feel like my head is about to explode.”

Your smile is careful as you look at him. “Makes sense,” you softly say, watching him glance at his arm only to notice the silver is still there, like he had hoped it would be gone. It’s easy to tell the arm itself is a symbol of a very dark time as he looks at it and then looks away from it. He isn’t fond of the silver arm, obviously having a love-hate relationship with it as it has given him power and strength he never had to begin with and problems he never voluntarily wanted in the first place. There’s pain in his eyes as he glances at you, shame as he cowers under your gaze.

You frown deeply. “What happened to you?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper. He closes his eyes, not really wishing to go back to those dark times where his life was saved and changed for the worse. The dark times where he became a shadow of himself and a manipulated soldier, brainwashed to take orders from others.

“I, uh, I don’t think-“ he stumbles over his words.

You place your hand over his actual hand, your thumb brushing the skin there. He glances at where you’re touching him before looking up at you. You’re hurting, it’s easy to see. It’s not your own pain though, it’s his. You’re feeling pain for him, hurting because he went through things he never should have, things where death would’ve been much less painful. You want to kiss him, kiss it all better if that was possible.

“You can tell me,” you whisper, pleading him to confide in you, to tell you what happened to him all those years ago.

He sighs deeply, turning his hand over to wrap it around yours. A rush runs through your stomach as he grips onto your hand with a hold so tight that you find yourself promising him silently that you’ll never let go again by giving his hand a small squeeze.

“They found me a few days later,” he starts, gaze focusing on the way yours and his fingers intertwine with each other like they’re meant to do it, “in the ruins of buildings. I-I wasn’t fully awake when they did, only just coming to my senses again after the explosion that was meant to kill me.”

You’re focusing on his hand in yours now, not able to look into his eyes as he tells the story of how he ended up here, 70 years later, and still looking like himself but with longer hair and impeccable strength.

“I didn’t recognize them. They wouldn’t tell me anything. They took me to this place, a bunker or something like that. There was this huge laboratory inside with equipment way ahead of its time,” he looks confused as he relives the horrifying moments, “I was placed in a chair and the next thing I know they’re sawing my arm off-“

You whimper. “Oh, god,” tears dwell in your eyes as you grip his hand tightly.

“____, I have never felt as much pain as I did that day,” he looks you straight in the eye, the pain from that day flashing over his face as he recalls it, the feeling of it. “And all I could think about while they turned me into this- this monster… was that I lied to you.”

You shake your head in denial. “No, Jungkook,” you whisper, “you couldn’t know. You couldn’t.”

He offers you a small half-smile, remorse covering his features as he reaches up with his silver hand, careful as he lets the fingertips of it brush your hair out of your face.

“I’m sorry I gave you an empty promise,” he whispers, silver fingertips brushing against the side of your face. You cover it with your own hand, letting him cup your face in the cold silver. He leans closer, hissing lightly as pain shoots up the side of his torso. “I’m sorry that I didn’t come back to you like I promised.”

“You did though,” you sigh deeply, resting your forehead against his. “You’re right here.”

He nods softly, his eyes shifting between yours.. “and I won’t leave again,” he assures you before hesitating, shrugging as he adds; “unless you want me to.”

You chuckle through the tears that had built up in your eyes. He’s smiling at you as you reach up to cup his face in your palms, brushing your thumb across his cheeks. He’s watching you, still not quite believing that you’re here with him. After so long. 70 years of wondering if you’re still alive. 70 long years of wondering where you were in the world. 70 unbearable years of longing for your touch, your soft, plump lips that made his heart stop beating for a few seconds each time they would touch his in a kiss.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he whispers into the small gap of air space between you and him. “Each time I’d return from a mission and become myself again after being under mind-control, you were the first thing on my mind. To be honest, I don’t think you ever left it. You’ve always been there with me, in the deepest parts of my consciousness. You kept me sane during the missions, kept me from forgetting myself completely.”

Listening intently, you close your eyes as your thumbs continue to brush over the skin on his cheeks. He continues, a deep sigh falling from his lips and clashing against yours causing goosebumps to rise upon your body. You’re shocked that you have gone this far without smothering him in kisses. You don’t want to risk anything, waiting patiently for him to make the first move in the direction of more physical affection, whether it’s a touch of his hand, a hug or more.

“And when I realized it was you earlier today...” his voice cracks, “when I realized I almost killed you- I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for that.”

“You can and you will,” you softly tell him, the undertone of your voice stern, “you didn’t kill me. You wouldn’t. You were gonna recognize me sooner or later.”

He exhales shakily. “You don’t know that,” he almost snaps, eyes closed tightly as he drops his silver hand from your face. He pulls away from your touch, the warmth of him disappearing the further he moves away. He’s not looking at you. Tears are threatening to spill as you stare back at him, lips slightly parted as you want to speak up. You want to tell him he’s wrong, but you already know that he will not take your words for what they are. He, and you, know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t pushed him off when you did.

“You’re right,” you say, catching his attention again. He barely glances at you, noticing the small remnants of tears in your eyes before looking back at his silver hand, clenching and unclenching it. A tear rolls down your cheek. “You’re so right, Jungkook. I don’t know if you would or not.”

You get up from the chair you’ve been sitting in since you brought him back to your apartment. Jungkook still refuses to look at you as you move onto the bed, crawling closer to him. You don’t hesitate as you lay a hand on his shoulder and throw a leg over his to straddle his lap. He finally looks at you, eyes slightly widened at your actions. His eyes meet teary ones again, his silver arm moving out of an old habit as he reaches up to wipe your tears away.

“But I like to think you would.”

Your lips press against his before he can reply to your words. Jungkook gasps and then grunts in response as you press your mouth to his, desperately and needy. His body freezes beneath you as you kiss him, tasting his lips for the first time in an unbearably long time. It takes him a while to realize that you’re kissing him, finally kissing you back as he cradles you in his arms, pulling you closer to his chest. The silver arm keeps a tight grip around your waist, holding you in place as the other runs up your thigh.

Pulling away, you gasp for air, letting your forehead rest against his. Jungkook is breathing heavily, his breath once again clashing against yours as you both catch your breath. Your eyes meet, seconds after he’s kissing you again, your tank top riding up as the silver arm keeps you tight against him. The silver touching your skin causes goosebumps to cover your skin, a chill running up your spine as you cup his face. His tongue licks against your bottom lip, you let him in. A moan escapes your lips as his tongue touches yours.

“I’ve been holding myself back ever since you woke up,” you whisper against his lips, making him smile as his hands slide under your top, pushing it up before pulling it over your head completely. You return to his lips, catching them with your own as you reach for the hem of his t-shirt. He helps you pull it off, your mind elsewhere as you throw it onto the floor. Your hands rake down his body, over the tensing muscles of his abdomen as he moves his kisses down your cheek and further under your jaw. Your breathing is ragged as you pull away, only a few inches so you can glance down at his torso. The sight horrifies you, your fingertips brushing over scars and healed wounds.

“Oh my god,” you whisper as you glance up at Jungkook, his eyes meeting yours for a few seconds before you look back at his chest. Your eyes wander, over his both small and larger scars to his silver arm. You feel your heart tightening as you take in the way the silver arm is sewed onto his body. You hesitate to reach up, Jungkook’s eyes on you as you let your shaking fingertips brush over the burned, scarred skin that keeps the silver arm attached. “I- This…”

His human hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb caressing your skin. “I know,” he agrees without hearing the rest of the sentence. You look back at him, finding relief in his eyes as you rest your palms against his chest. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” he then says.

“They literally cut off your arm,” you point out, shaking your head in disbelief. You can’t even imagine how much pain he must’ve been in when they did this to him. “I wish I could have spared you this pain, spared you the torture you went through.”

He smiles softly. “I know, ____. But there's no way you possibly could’ve.”

You're carefully running your pointer finger along one of his scars when you look up at him, eyelashes framing your eyes so perfectly. He thinks you’re absolutely beautiful, even more so than the last time he saw you. You can’t do anything to stop the words that tumble from your lips next.

“I love you so much, Jungkook.”

His breathing stops for a second, his heart skipping a beat. He hasn’t heard those words since 1944. He didn’t even hear those words that morning you had sent him off, he hadn’t said those words when he promised to return. He should have. That way you’d never be in doubt of his love. He wonders if you’ve loved him since or if there has been anyone else in the meantime to love you the way he should’ve.

Silently, you watch him as his thoughts run one hundred miles per hour. Your palms are sliding from his chest to his shoulders and further up his neck to cup his face again. The love he feels is evident in his eyes as he focuses on you.

“I love you,” he whispers, carefully turning you over onto your back only for him to hover over you. You’re watching him, tingling in your stomach as you hear the words fall from his lips. He returns to kissing you, kissing the skin on your cheek, your neck and further down to the very top of your chest, right beneath the collarbones. He glances up at you as he kisses his way down the valley of your bra-covered chest. “I didn’t say it enough back then,” he mouths against your skin, another round of goosebumps rising beneath his lips, “I should have said it more. I’m sorry.”

You exhale deeply, arching your back into his touch as he reaches your navel and moves even further down to the waistband of your pants, your spandex pants that you so elegantly wear whenever you have a mission with the Avengers.

“Stop apologizing,” you breathe out, eyes closed as you succumb to his touch. The silver hand brushes over your stomach as it runs up to your chest, unclasping your bra on the front. It falls to the sides, revealing your perky nipples to the crisp air. You gasp softly as a silver hand brushes over both, the cold steel doing nothing but erecting them even more. “I've always hated it when you apologize.”

He smirks softly against your lower stomach, pressing one last kiss to the skin there before pulling the silver hand down to pull off your pants, and panties too. The pants are barely on the floor before he returns to your lower abdomen, kisses being spread across your hip bones and pubic bone. You reach down to tangle your fingers in his long hair as he runs his hands up the inside of your thighs. He spreads your legs, revealing your throbbing core to him.

“God, I missed this,” he breathed out, the air of his words hitting your wet folds. “Having you like this, all to myself.”

You whine from above him. “Jungkook,” you whimper, “please.”

It doesn’t take more for him to lean closer, tongue licking a stripe up between your folds and to your clit, his silver arm sliding across your abdomen to keep you down as he eats you out for the first time in decades. One would think he had lost his touch and knowledge of a woman’s body, but you can say that he certainly didn’t as he roots himself between your legs, tongue licking your wetness and prodding at the entrance.

“Oh god,” you moan, softly gasping for air as his human hand rests on top of your one thigh, fingers digging into the flesh there. You’re in heaven, on the ninth cloud as he slurps your arousal, licking your folds and clit as if his life depended on it. “Fuck, Jungkook!”

The sound of your name toppling from your lips as he hits a certain nerve makes his body flush with a warmth he almost forgot what feels like. You’re writhing in the tight hold of his silver arm, squirming as he licks you to your release. The orgasm is approaching fast and hard, Jungkook being the sole reason for it. No one could ever get you there as fast as him.

“I’m s-so close- oh!,” you pant, your walls clenching as Jungkook’s actual fingers slide into you. He pumps his hand in and out of you in a pace that is perfectly building up your orgasm. He takes nothing but a glance into his eyes as he leans down to softly kiss your clit that you’re toppling over, hitting the wall of your orgasm. “J-jungkook, my god!”

You jerk away as he leans forward, tongue licking up your release, tasting it on his taste buds. He hums with a small smile as he glances up at you, loving the way your eyes are almost bulging out of your head at the sight of him between your thighs. It takes nothing more than a few seconds before you shitting up, Jungkook meeting you halfway in a kiss. Tongues clash against each other, the taste of you on his tongue as he kisses you deeply, needingly.

“Please fuck me,” you mumble in between kisses, a desperate whining tone attached to your words. “Make love to me, Jungkook.”

He seals your words with a kiss, giving you a silent promise of doing just that. As if he’d lick you out and that would be it. No way.

You watch, teeth biting into your bottom lip, as he gets off the bed to remove the sweatpants you had dressed him in when you got back, getting him out of those military pants with belts and buckles all over them. His cock springs free, slaps against his abdomen as it stands proud into the air. A rush runs through your stomach at the sight, mouth slightly watering. Once the sweatpants and his boxers lie on the floor by his feet, he crawls back onto the bed. He moves closer, pushing you back onto your back as he hovers over you. You’re glancing at his silver arm for a mere split second, your hair reaching up to run along the hard edges of it. Jungkook can’t feel your touch but he’d like to imagine that he can as he watches your palm brushing over and further up to the nape of his neck. His eyes move back to lock with yours. You’re looking at him just like you did that last night of intimacy you had back in 1944, the night before he was sent off on a deathly mission. A huge wave of emotions hits him as he glances from your eyes to your lips and back again.

“I love you,” he softly says, eyebrows furrowed together as he looks at you, “so much, ____.”

You smile, pulling him down to meet you in a kiss. The kisses are soft, tender even as he reaches down to line himself up with your entrance. You gasp into his mouth as the tip of his cock prods at your folds. A hand of yours tangles back into his locks as he pushes inside, the tightness overwhelming for the both of you. He rests his forehead against yours, your breaths clashing together between you as he buries himself to the hilt.

“Shit,” he hisses, glancing down at your connecting hips. “Can i move?”

You nod your head, whispering, “yes.”

Jungkook watches the way your eyes roll to the back of your head as he pulls out and pushes back in, the sight causing him to do it again and again, wanting to see you lose yourself and succumb to the feeling of his cock brushing against your walls.

“Oh fuck!” You gasp as he gives you a particularly hard thrust, the sound of skin slapping against skin as he hits that exact spot that makes you whimper out a soft, whiny moan. You’re clawing at his shoulders, his neck and chest as he sets a rhythm, keeping it steady as he grinds into you. He grabs your leg with his silver hand, helping you to wrap it around his waist. The other follows suit, locking with your other behind his back. He hits deep inside of you, his veiny cock sliding against your walls so deliciously.

It’s like that last night you had with him all over again just with more longing and more desperate kisses. Your stomach tingles with the overwhelming amount of emotions you’re feeling in this exact moment as you look up at him – his long hair slightly damp at the roots, his toned chest glistening in sweat as he works you both to a release, to a high you’re both so desperately in the need of.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans as you unawarely clench around his length, his head dropping to your shoulder. “Don’t do that or I’ll cum right now.”

“Sorry!” You squeak, chuckling as he eyes you with a small smirk. God, you wanna ride him so badly. “Oh, Jungkook,” you moan breathily as he hits your spot again. He’s watching you, eyes running over your face as it contorts in pure pleasure.

“Fuck, I’m close,” he grunts, leaning up on his hands to get a better angle. He rams his hips into you, his strength coming to show as he thrusts into you harder than ever before. The power of his thrusts have you seeing stars as your second orgasm nears you. Jungkook can feel it as you clinch repeatedly around him. He won’t last much longer if you continue to do that.

High pitched moans tumble from your parted lips as he speeds up his movements, desperately trying to get you over the edge before he topples over himself. Your nails are digging into his shoulders as you reach your high, the orgasm hitting you like a bullet.

“Oh my fucking god,” you moan, breathing ragged as he continues to fuck you to get himself to cum. His breathing is uneven, not matching his thrusts as all as he moves in and out a few more times before stilling inside of you, spilling his load and painting your walls inside.

“Fuck, I love you,” he breathes out as he drops his forehead to your collarbone. You’re smiling widely as you run your fingers from his shoulders and up into his hair. He lifts his head to look at you as you push his long, brown hair out of his face. You know him too well when he gives you a look, a small smirk on his lips. A joke is coming. You can just feel it. And you can’t help but grin at him as everything feels exactly like 1944 again. Also, you want to punch him for his next words:

“Not too bad for a 98-year-old, huh?”

all rights reserved © mercurygguk (with help from marvel studios *wink* )

[aki-mochi]

Levi x Reader: Drunk Love

WARNING: NSFW!! Levi stood there, completely nude, in front of Erwin and Hanji as he covered his stuff while avoiding their gazes. His cheeks turning pink with his hair messy with fly-aways in every direction and his body covered in bites and hickeys. Erwin stood in Levi's living room, not amused, while Hanji was laughing until she was in tears.

"Sooo...you wanna tell me why you are...?" Erwin trailed off.

"I dunno....I-I...just woke up like this...."

"You were drinking last night, huh?" Erwin asked, more like stated.

"A little...." he mumbled, then clicked his tongue.

"Woooow Levi~!" Hanji laughed more.

"Shut up" Levi slightly growled as he tried to remember his actions last night.

~flashback~

Levi sat at a table in a bar with a few of his friends and co-workers, passing time and attempting to get away from the stress of work. Eren, who happened to be one of his best workers, offered him some food while drinking his drink. No sooner did another song start to play, a familiar woman entered the bar with Mikasa.

"I've never been in a bar.” Mikasa stated.

"We can't buy alcoholic beverages so we can just have water and some food. Give us some free time from all the work we've been asked to do." Y/n replied.

She nodded in agreement, looking around at her surroundings only to see the men at Levi's table looking towards them. Truth be told, Y/n and Mikasa worked in the same building as Levi, just on different floors. The two had met on a few occasions and even had small talk in the elevator whenever they were going to the same floor for meetings, but never actually got close to one another.

Levi glanced at the two as they came in and made a bit of a face. "I guess they're getting the same thing you are, Eren." He smirked behind his glass as he looked at Eren's drink suited for him being underaged. Eren pouted and gave somewhat of a glare towards his boss. "If you weren't my boss, and I wanted to not get fired, I'd slap you like I do Horse-face." He mumbled in his glass of apple juice.

"You sound like you're plenty drunk on apples," Levi stated as he set his glass down. "Now you finally have a chance to talk to that girl. I've seen you eyeing her at work." Hearing his comment, Eren did a spit-take with his drink; coughing and pounding his chest a bit. Once he got his breath back, he looked at Levi like he grew two heads.

"Are you insane or drunk?!" He slightly yelled in a whispered tone.

"I'm neither. You shout about being better at your job than The Titan Company down the road but you can't even talk to a girl."

"Yeah?! W-well what about the girl you stare at?! You seem like you stalk her!"

"The only time I even see her is on the elevator. Are you sure you aren't drinking beer?" Levi retorted.

"I'm underage to be drinking unless someone spiked it when I wasn't looking." Eren calmly stated as he took another drink.

"If no one did, they might need to so you can actually grow some balls for at least an hour and act like a man instead of a loud little kid."

Eren glared. "Shut the hell up....I do act mature. Just on some levels." He, then, turned away to stare at the ebony female with a slight blush on his slightly dark skin.

”Can you prove that?" Levi smirked at Eren's attitude.

"What did you say?" Eren growled, thinking his boss is picking a fight when he doesn't feel like throwing a punch while Mikasa is here.

"I said to prove that you aren't a child and go talk to her," Levi told him.

"Fine. I will." He suddenly stood up and walked towards the two sisters, feeling confident in his moves. Levi smirked as he watched, wanting to see how much of a train wreck it would turn into. But the minute Eren was only five steps away, he froze. His face turned a sheer scarlet red and felt his palms get sweaty. But what he didn't expect to happen, was that Mikasa noticed him and gave a small wave to him, making him lose his cool and speed-walking back to his seat before face planting the table. Mikasa flushed a faint pink but couldn't help to give a minuscule smirk from his failure to walk over.

"You’re a wuss" Levi muttered.

"Fuck you....." Eren mumbled against the table.

Levi smirked and took a sip of his whiskey before standing. "Let me show you how it's done," he stated as Eren groaned and watched him as he made his way towards the girls.

Levi walked over to the older of the two with a confident stride, the alcohol taking the edge off of his normal attitude. Y/n was too busy talking to Mikasa to notice him. Taking a french fry off her plate, she ate it and smiled as she was talking about her latest masterpiece for the company due to being in the advertising department. Mikasa mentioned a work project that’s due next week before looking over Y/n's shoulder to see the male.

"This seat taken?" Levi asked.

Y/n turned towards the voice of the male and her eyes widened. "M-Mr. Ackerman....! It's nice to see you again." She smiled softly at him.

"The same to you" he stated. "We don't see each other often. I thought we could talk."

"Of course! Come sit with me!" She smiled and patted the seat on the other side of her. He gladly sat, looking towards Eren and winking in success mainly to show off before talking to the two women. Eren growled and slammed his hands on the table and walked over once more before offering a hand at the grey-eyed female.

"May I sit with the beauty who I'm looking at~?" He asked with a smile.

Mikasa looked and blushed brightly at his words but nodded. “Sure."

With a small hum, Eren sat beside her before gently holding her waist to bring her closer to him. Her blush darkened, looking at her plate of food like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Y/n eyed the boy, a little surprised at his actions before drinking her iced water, smirking behind her glass as she knew Mikasa has a crush on him. Levi rolled his eyes, ignoring Eren as he talked to Y/n, keeping up a conversation about her interests. About an hour later, Levi was not feeling like his usual self. His cheeks were flushed while his eyes were dilated, black pupils taking up more of his steel-blue corneas. Y/n had offered to take him home while Mikasa stayed with Eren since he's completely sober. After that, Mikasa waved as she left with the green-eyed boy.

He tried to refuse, saying he was fine but she insisted, eventually giving up as he slumped over the table. Y/n slung one of Levi's arms around her neck; the other around his waist while leading him outside. Digging in his back pocket for his wallet and keys, she pressed a button to activate its panic alarm. Upon hearing a frantic horn, she turned to her left to see the flashing lights of a sleek black Ford Mustang. After calming the automobile, she gently helped a drunk Levi into the passenger side before slipping herself behind the wheel. Y/n opened up his wallet and found a small piece of paper with his name and address written in beautiful cursive. Pulling up the GPS on her phone, she punched in his home address to help her navigate before revving up the engine and beginning to drive to him home.

Levi did his best to keep the alcohol's side effects from taking over, grinning as he remembered the feeling of her hand in his pocket but stayed quiet until they got to his house. Once Y/n had gotten him out of his car and into his house, after she had unlocked the door with his keys, she walked him to his room and placed him in bed. She gave a small huff from how heavy he is for a short man. As she tried to leave the room, Levi had grabbed her wrist to keep her in place.

"(Y/n)," he muttered.

"Levi. You're drunk. You need to rest." She said softly so as not to hurt his pounding head.

"Only if you rest with me." He said, not because of how many shots he’s had, but because he’s wanted her since the first day he saw her and this was the only way he could get himself to say it. Y/n smiled and pried his hand off her arm so she could help him get comfortable by stripping him of his clothes. Y/n flushed a scarlet red when he was now only in his briefs which held a proud tent.

He smirked a bit as he watched her. "You can look if you want"

"I-I rather not, thank you...." she stuttered before going to find him some bed clothes he could wear; giving him time to look over her body that was shown by the jeans and shirt she's wearing. Her hair pulled up into a ponytail and her feet dressed in regular tennis shoes. He blushed from more than the booze in his system as he looked over her, letting her help him dress before laying in the bed with him. Y/n covered him up along with herself and sighed softly as she turned her back to him so she can sleep since it's after midnight.

But with Levi still drunk, he couldn't go to sleep. No. He didn’t want to go to sleep. He had a beautiful woman in his bed and he wanted her to be his woman. No one else’s. Levi took advantage of his drunk state and suddenly rolled Y/n onto her back, pinning her to the bed. She blinked, shocked from his sudden actions.

"L-Levi....?" she stuttered.

"Y/n.....~” he purred in her ear while sliding his hands up her shirt, making her shiver at his cold slender hands on her heated skin. "Let me love you," he whispered before colliding her lips with his own, making her body stiffen. She soon felt intoxicated by his touch and kissed him back, craving for more as she entangled her fingers into his soft black hair as she moaned.

Levi kissed her deeply as his hands made their way to her breasts, feeling the soft flesh against his skin. Arching her back at the feeling, she pulled away from his lips for air but gasping the minute he latches his own to her sensitive neck. She moaned his name when he bit her neck then pulled back with a smirk. Y/n looked down to see that Levi had, somehow, stripped her bare naked without her noticing. Trailing kisses down her body, she moaned and ran her fingers through his hair again as she closed her legs when he got between them. He rubbed her thighs soothingly before kissing them to help her relax. Once he thought she was ready, Levi opened her legs and placed his head between them. His tongue slid along her folds before flicking at her clit. Her hips jolted upwards while her fingers tugged at his hair, giving loud lewd moans.

Levi smirked and started to go faster, making her squirm and squeal in complete ecstasy as he tasted every inch of her. He then sucked her bundle of nerves into his mouth as his tongue did wonders. Y/n panted as she arched her back off the bed while her head flew back into the pillows, desperately wanting to move away but his hands held her down in place as he ravished her more. His teeth gently grazed her clit, making her lose control of the volume of her moans as they got even louder before she finally released with a squeak. But Levi kept going, making her beg as he continued to drain her of every drop before pulling off with a small pop. A trembling Y/n laid there panting heavily as Levi licked her clean, sitting up to look down at the beautiful sight under him. Levi chuckled and laid beside her with his arm draped over her waist.

Y/n calmed down from her overstimulated high before she made the bold move to pin him to the bed instead. Levi looked up at her in slight shock from the sudden move before his breath started to hitch when she started to rub the bulge in his pants. She hummed and stripped him bare of any clothes before suddenly going down to suck his cock. Levi's hips bucked at the sudden pleasure of her hot mouth on him, panting as he felt her tongue do circles around the tip.

"(Y-Y/n)~" Levi moaned as he gripped the sheets. "Ngh...! I-I'm gonna....! Ah!" he gave a loud moan as he came in her mouth. Y/n swallowed it all, a little disappointed that he came that quick, and sat up before marking him in hickeys and love bites, loving the sounds that were coming from his mouth. After she was satisfied with her work, she straddled his hips before pushing herself onto him, making her gasp and him moan. When she felt comfortable, she bounced on him as her hands rested on his chest. Loud slapping noises of skin colliding and loud moans filled the room. Y/n decided to bounce faster and go all the way down, earning her a loud moan from Levi as he gripped her hips to help her keep steady.

Pretty soon they both hit their high and came together. Y/n collapsed onto Levi's chest, panting heavily as he held her close to him. Having to pull out, he laid both their bodies on the bed and pulled her to his chest after covering them both with the blanket and going to sleep.

~back to the present~

Y/n walked out of the bathroom only to see a naked Levi standing there, in front of his boss and co-worker as he tried to suppress his blush. Smirking, the said female walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and satisfied hum.

"Don't worry, Mr. Smith~. Levi was a good boy last night with all the moans I made him do~."

At that, Hanji ran out with Erwin on her tail, trying to suppress their nose bleeds while Levi was a blushing mess at the moment from her comment. Y/n laughed at his reaction and kissed him briefly before giving him a warm smile and going to make breakfast. Levi sighed as he went back to his room to get dressed.

'Maybe getting drunk wasn't so bad after all......'

[littlemisslol-fic]

The Silent Opera

Chapter Thirteen: I Hear a Symphony

Summary: In a world populated by Soulmates— people drawn together by wordless music connecting them to their destined other half— Varian is an anomaly. He is Songless, someone without a Soulmate of his own. He makes due with the cards dealt to him, used to being the castle oddity by now, but when an interesting blond takes up residence in the castle, he can’t help but be drawn to him.

Hugo, on the other hand, is horrified to find that not only is his Soulmate a palace brat, but that Varian doesn’t hear him back— meaning Hugo is trapped in a one-sided bond. When presented with a horrible choice between completing the theft Donella had sent him to do, or taking a frightening step into vulnerability, Hugo finds himself at an impasse he just might not be able to charm his way out of.

And then politics get involved.

Notes: Secrets can't be kept forever. They're slippery like that. (PLEASE CHECK THE AO3 VERSION FOR POTENTIAL TWs, THIS CHAPTER IS A LITTLE DARK)

((PLEASE NOTE: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS BRIEF SEXUAL HARASSMENT/ATTEMPTED ASSAULT. THERE WILL BE A TL/DR IN THE BOTTOM NOTES SO THAT YOU CAN SKIP IT AND STILL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. IT WILL BE MARKED WITH TWO ** AT THE START AND END OF THE SCENE. CLOTHES STAY ON AND IT’S MOSTLY JUST UNWANTED, PUSHY ADVANCES/TOUCHING, BUT PLEASE KNOW YOUR LIMIT AND PLAY WITHIN IT.))

Things had… not been going to plan, lately.

Or maybe they were—just a bit too well. The wedding preparations had started the literal second Varian had been pulled from the great hall; once the crowd had abated Nigel had shuffled them into a side room covered in hundreds of swatches for various paraphernalia, not that Varian was paying attention.

But Hugo hadn’t wanted him to do it.

It makes him… suspicious. Or more suspicious of Hugo’s heel-spin turn from wanting Varian closer only to suddenly pushing him away. Something had happened—there’s no way Hugo had made such a switch on his own, especially when Varian was actively trying to patch things between them. It doesn’t make any sense—and Varian’s going to get to the bottom of it, come hell or high water.

But first he has to deal with the cluster-fuckery he’s been pulled into.

The side room’s one of the war rooms, though it hasn’t seen that specific purpose in years. Instead, the main table’s covered in pieces of cloth, cutlery, china, and what looks like colour chips that one would use to determine paint. For a second Varian’s confused, just absolutely baffled, but then it clicks.

Ah, wedding planning already?

Landis looks just as lost as Varian feels. Nigel’s going at a mile a minute, yapping away about colour theory and national flowers and a bunch of other things Varian’s never even thought about before—it all quickly turns into word soup.

“Neither of you are leaving this room until you’ve chosen one from each,” Nigel says, “and it’s been approved by either myself or Frederic. We only have a week, so you’ll have to pick soon.” When neither of them move his face dips into something impatient. “Quickly, if you please!”

Varian and Landis meet each other’s eye. It’s almost comforting that Landis looks as out of his element as Varian is. But it’s true—they only have a week to prepare and knowing the last wedding that the castle had hosted—Rapunzel and Eugene’s—there’s a lot of work to be done. So he goes to the nearest table, looking over a series of cutlery sets. They’re all designed differently, embossed with small flowers or symbols or… designs that Varian can’t really put his finger on. He picks one up—it’s got little daisies on it, which are cute enough—but when Landis pulls a face he puts it down. This is going to take forever. Oddly enough, Varian feels ready to burst into tears.

“Maybe we’ll start with picking a colour,” comes a female voice from behind. Varian turns to see Rapunzel, which sets him a bit more at ease. At least, he thinks, his sister is here to help. At least someone’s around to be normal.

He’s definitely going to need it.

—————♪—————

Hugo’s going to throw himself of a bridge. Or maybe the roof. Or maybe just drown himself in the lake, that’s always an option.

Coward, his thoughts scream, fucking useless coward, you took too long, hid like a little bitch, and now you’ve lost—

Gods, he’d lost it all, hadn’t he? Lost his chance, lost his… his Soulmate. He couldn’t even buck up for something so important, instead he’d opted to shrink away, stick his head in the dirt, and now he’s up a creek without a paddle. He’d had months, months, to get his shit together, and he hadn’t done it. And now, just like Rapunzel said, he’d missed his window. The gap had closed.

But he wanders the halls, stewing, because he just can’t let it go. His thoughts gnaw on it, a dog on a bone that just won’t crack, the constant thought of I can still fix this, I know I can, I just need a plan—but Landis had enough dirt to send Hugo right to prison, no trial no questions no guesswork. Even if he confessed, even if Varian forgave Hugo for being an asshole, he’d probably end up tossed in the dungeon before he could even act on anything.

He’s always been one to turn and run at the drop of a hat; always flaky, never digging his heels in when it mattered. Not like Varian, who would stand his ground over anything.

Maybe that’s something Hugo should try to emulate. He… this was important. Too important to just roll over and give up—especially just because Landis had an up on him. He could confess and make a break for he got arrested or try and steal the note back from Landis… or he could do what has to be done.

He needs to talk to Varian.

The Song’s been chaotic since Varian had accepted Landis’s proposal (ew, ew, ew,) and had been nothing but turmoil and anxiety, something that threatened to make Hugo’s stomach turn inside out multiple times. It’s easy to follow it through the castle to its source. They need to talk. He’d hit up Atilla’s for a peace offering beforehand: its slight weight might as well be pure lead for how heavy it feels.

He catches sight of Varian in the hall, being trailed by no fewer than six different castle officials. He looks like shit, really, dark bags developing under his glazed over eyes and his hair a mess. The people follow him barrage him with questions, ones that Hugo can hear even from the other side of the hall.

“Which of these for the table runners?”

“What style of music, regular waltz or Viennese?”

“Any allergies?”

“You still need to get your guest list ready—”

Varian looks ready to tear his hair out, stopping in the middle of the hall.

“That one. I don’t care. Hazelnuts. I gave it to Rapunzel this morning. Anything else?” His voice is frosty; they must pick up the hint as they scatter immediately. Varian looks like he wants to grab a nearby vase and chuck it after them, just to make sure they stay gone—but he manages to hold it together.

Hugo slowly approaches. He’s trying to be sneaky, but the paper bag in his hand crumples just so, ruining his stealth immediately. Varian turns—for just a split second he looks ready to tear someone’s head off—but the second he sees Hugo the expression melts into something carefully closed. It hurts a bit, to see the flatness there.

In lieu of launching into everything he wants to say, Hugo holds up the bag.

“I have a peace offering?”

Varian looks down to the bag. Back up at Hugo. Back to the bag. He’s calculating, before reaching out carefully to snatch the thing and draw it close. When he gets a peek at what’s in there he looks back to Hugo with an arched brow.

“What do you want?”

“To talk?” It sounds feeble to Hugo’s own ears. “I just… you were right, something happened before we met up in the lab. A-and I acted weird because of it. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

Varian listens to him as he talks. His lips are pursed. Hugo’s hands are fucking shaking; the idea of coming clean is absolutely terrifying, about anything, Donella’s plot, their connection, even Landis’s threats—so many different facets and each one was more than enough for Varian to throw him out a window. Thankfully, Varian only looks down the hall before reaching into the bag and pulling out a chocolate cupcake—the same type he’d gotten when they’d visited the bakery together. Varian inspects it, like a jeweler would a diamond, before he fixes his gaze on Hugo with a flat expression.

“You have until I finish this,” he says, “and then I have to go to my next meeting. Start talking.” He takes a bite, looking expectantly at Hugo.

“It was Landis—” the words start pouring. “—he found something in my room, and he knows that I… that we… well. He knew for sure that I wanted to be more-than-friends.”

Varian’s pretty pale, but he keeps chewing. “Does he know about how far we went?” he asks.

“He didn’t mention it. I think if he did, he would have said something. I think he just noticed how much time we spent together and he didn’t like it. Before we fought, he was in the lab. He’s the one that broke Seventeen.” Varian’s eyes narrow at that. “And he told me that if I didn’t back off, I’d regret it.”

Varian’s halfway through his cupcake. “So you decided to be a dick?”

Shame burns Hugo’s cheeks. “Yeah. I thought if I could make you upset with me, it would be easier to… to push you away.”

“Well it worked.”

Another bite of the cupcake. Fuck, he’s running out of time. “It wasn’t my best plan. But that’s… that’s why. And there’s more I have to tell you, but it can’t be out in the open like this.”

Varian finishes his food. He fixes Hugo with a calculating stare as he chews. For a horrible second Hugo thinks he’s fucked this up beyond repair: that Varian will send him away without letting him say everything he needs to, that he’ll be trapped in a horrible pining mess of what could have been forever.

But Varian swallows and sighs. “Fine,” he says. “I have to go to a meeting, and then dinner, but after that I’ll be free. Meet me in the lab, and I’ll let you say your piece.” Hugo’s face must light up, as Varian shoves a finger in his face. “You’re not forgiven yet. You fucked up, Hugo, and you owe me the truth. Or the rest of it? You know what I mean!”

But he still gives the empty bag back to Hugo. “Tonight, okay?”

Hugo swallows past the lump in his throat. “Tonight’s perfect.”

Varian sighs and shakes his head before Nigel’s voice echoes through the halls. “Fuck’s sake. I’ve got to go, I’ll find you tonight okay? And you might want to go find Rapunzel, she was looking for you earlier.”

“For me?”

“Yeah, something about needing to make a game-plan. What are you two up to?”

Hugo just shrugs, trying his most roguish grin. It gets him an eye roll. Varian takes his leave, waving casually as he leaves to continue his planning. Hugo stands alone in the hall. His knees shake.

“Tonight,” he whispers. “Tonight. I can do tonight.”

Tonight is going to fucking kill him, one way or another, but at least he’ll die knowing what he needs to. He bounces on his heels; he feels both light as a feather and chained to the ground—and he needs to find the princess. She could probably help him figure out what he’s going to say. He leaves, then, heading off to find her. He’d need help with tonight. In fact, he’s so caught up in his newfound deadline that he misses a figure standing behind a nearby suit of armor.

It’s a mistake he’ll come to regret.

—————♪—————

**

Varian had thought things were bad before the proposal but now that the plans have to officially make he’s sorely missing that time. At least back then he’d been able to spend an hour or two in the lab, with Hugo, but now he’s absolutely swamped—he can’t even spend time packing his things during the day, instead having to do it when the hour’s so late that everyone’s already gone to bed. He can’t trust a maid to do it, not with his alchemical equipment; someone could end up hurt, and that’s the last thing he fucking needs right now.

At least the growth serum was finished. His last assignment as royal alchemist, as bitter a thought as it is, had been a raging success. Farmers from around the kingdom were starting to report nearly triple the output of grain and corn, some had even started to build more storage to prepare for higher yields. For some reason Varian still gets a bitter taste at the back of the throat despite the success.

He closes his small suitcase with a sigh. He’s not done quite yet, but it’ll do for now. He had to go meet Hugo in a bit, after all. Things certainly made a lot more sense now that the truth had come out—why Hugo had been so aggressive, why he’d pushed back against Varian trying to mend things—but it didn’t make what he said okay. There’d better be more cupcakes on the way if Hugo wants to be forgiven.

His whirling thoughts grind to a halt when there’s a knock on his door. Hugo, maybe? Varian had said he’d meet the blond later, but maybe he got impatient…

Varian reaches out, opening the door wide, only for the smile on his face to slide into a frown when he sees who’s on the other side.

“Varian,” Landis croons. “You left after dinner.”

“Oh, I uh, I wanted to get some work done…” Varian shuffles his weight on his feet, awkward. It’s uncomfortable to be so near to his, well, his fiancé while the man’s acting so strange. Landis puts a massive hand on the doorframe and leans closer. Varian’s nose curls at the smell of booze, thick on his breath. Gross.

“Have you been drinking?”

Landis shrugs. “Me and the lads might have been doing a bit of a bachelor party, sure,” he says. "It’s fine.”

Varian’s smile grows strained. “I’m actually about to step out for a second, would you like me to escort you back to your room? Sleep it off?”

Landis frowns, instead leaning closer. When Varian backs up the man takes his chance and muscles into Varian’s room, looking around with a judgmental look on his face. Didn’t invite you in, but fine, Varian grumbles to himself.

“So this is your room?” Landis asks, picking up one of Varian’s notebooks with pinched fingers.

“What’s left of it,” Varian replies. He reaches for the book, tugging it free carefully. “I’ve been packing, you know.”

“Hmmm yeah, when you’re not hiding away with that blond guy.”

“You mean Hugo?”

Landis’s face sours. “Yeah,” he mutters, “Hugo. You spend so much time with him.”

Ah, right. Apparently Landis is more astute than they thought. “Well, he is my lab partner.” Varian puts the book on his desk. He’s going to be late to meet Hugo if Landis doesn’t vacate the premises soon. “He’s literally paid to be around me, your grace.” He tacks the title on at the end to keep from sounding rude; it sounds fake even to Varian.

Landis’s expression darkens that little bit more. Something feels… wrong. The air is sour. Something about the way Landis holds himself, even drunk, feels almost threatening. It’s not right. Varian’s foot taps against the hardwood floor; his fingers twitch. Even the fire in his hearth, which had just seemed so warm and inviting, now throws long light against the walls and almost seems to warp everything.

Something’s not right.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

Varian twitches when Landis speaks again. Play dumb, play dumb. “How’s that?”

“I’ve seen it.” The floors creak when Landis shifts his weight. “He looks at you like he likes you. Like he can have you.”

Varian turns to give the Grand Duke a piece of his mind—fucking offensive asshole, talking about Hugo like that—before reeling back against the desk when Landis’s face is right fucking there.

“You’re not his,” Landis says. Varian’s breath hitches—his body feels like it’s locking up in sheer offense at that—but he manages to keep a straight face. If he fucks this up now, when Corona is so close to being saved…

He’d never forgive himself.

“I’m not yours, either,” is what he says. It’s not challenging, but factual. He’s not either of theirs; he’s a fucking person, regardless of who he hangs around. Landis’s presses that little bit closer. Varian feels a large hand grab his left wrist and bring it up beside their faces.

“Not yet,” Landis tells him, “but this ring says otherwise. You’d do best to remember that.” It glitters in the firelight, the branding burn of it completely capturing Varian’s attention. He tries to gently tug his wrist from Landis’s grasp—can’t be too obvious, can’t offend, but he needs Landis to let the fuck go right now—but there’s no give.

“Please let go of me,” Varian says softly. If he lets himself go any louder he’s sure he’ll scream it to the ceiling.

Landis doesn’t. That grip gets tighter, enough to hurt, and instead he leans closer. Varian finds himself leaning back—don’t come any closer, don’t, I don’t want you to—but if anything that only drives his back further into the desk. The pinch of it rattles up his spine.

“Let go of me.” This one’s stronger. “You’re drunk and acting strangely. I want to leave.”

Landis scoffs. His unoccupied hand moves down, pressing against the desk and boxing Varian’s hip in. It’s uncomfortable; their breaths mix, sickening heat begins to sink into the scant space between them. Alarm bells are ringing at full force in Varian’s mind—this is not fucking good.

“We’ll be husbands soon,” he croons, “don’t you want to see what that’ll be like? It could be fun.”

He’s slurring. Gods, he’s really drunk. But he’s also huge and stronger than Varian is, and that idea is fucking terrifying.

“No—”

“Aw, what, saving yourself for marriage?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Landis’s face turns into a sly grin, and the hand on the desk turns into one on his fucking hip—

“I bet I could change your mind.”

Ice runs through his blood. His heart’s beating a frantic tattoo against his chest—panic and anxiety and no small amount of genuine fear ring through his thoughts without giving any chance for an actual idea to form. He needs to—to run, or to escape, to fucking something that gets him the fuck out of this situation.

Horribly, he realizes there’s no one really in this wing of the castle. Varian, ages ago, had argued for his room to be closer to his lab, tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the castle due to his nocturnal lifestyle. He’s soundly regretting that choice now.

Landis leans forward. His one hand is still holding Varian’s wrist, keeping him from squirming too far. Sickeningly, the one on his hip begins to rub a thumb along the edge of his shirt.

“You’ll like it,” he says like that would make it true, “c’mon, we’ll be married soon enough. Do your husbandly duties, huh?”

It takes everything in Varian not to scream. “I said no!”

“And I said you’ll like it.”

The hand on his wrist gets tighter. It’s definitely going to bruise. Varian’s free hand shifts back to keep his balance. Landis looms over him—Varian shudders when he feels fingers slip under his shirt and along his stomach.

“Stop—” he manages to gasp out through his strangled throat, “stop, stop, stop—”

“You’re beautiful.” Landis leans forward and presses a sloppy kiss along Varian’s throat. The alchemist jerks roughly at the touch. “You are, just a perfect thing for me,” he lets out a heated, alcohol infused breath. “All mine.”

Varian’s wandering hand finds something solid. He sucks in a breath and grabs it tightly before swinging his arm and bringing it down against the side of Landis’s head.

It’s a scale, the very one that Hugo had requested from the alchemy shop. Not heavy enough to knock the man out, but it’s enough that finally Varian’s free enough to scuttle away. Landis yelps when the burner hits him, hands flying up to rub at the impact. The grand duke’s hands leaving his skin comes with a swell of relief, even if the danger isn’t gone yet.   

Varian’s off like a shot the second he’s free. Panic takes over at long last—run, run, get away from him and hide, find someone… Eugene, Rapunzel, Hugo, anyone—and he doesn’t look back even when he nearly rips the door off its hinges in an attempt to get the fuck gone.

His footsteps echo through the halls—he can’t tell where he’s fucking going, he just needs to hide—and everything blurs into one incomprehensible mess. He sprints, passing servants and maids and staff and everyone he’s supposed to protect—

He needs to hide. And though he might not be thinking of it consciously, his feet already know the way. He needs somewhere out of the way. Quiet. So he runs, runs like a spooked deer until he can find somewhere he can be safe.

And he knows just the place.

**

—————♪—————

“What do you mean you told him to fuck off?”

Hugo winces when the curse leaves Rapunzel’s mouth.

“I might have screwed up a bit.”

“A bit?”

“A lot.”

She tugs on her hair, pacing back and forth through the hall. It had taken time for Hugo to find her—she’d already vanished to dinner by the time he’d managed to get over the raging anxiety of his looming confession—but now he’s wishing he’d done it earlier.

“I can’t leave you two alone for twenty seconds, can I?” Rapunzel finally sighs, though the way her lips quirk up into a small smile shows how upset she actually is. “Okay… okay. We’ll have to figure something else out; Varian accepted the proposal, so that’s… not great. We’ll have to pull out the big guns.”

“The big guns?” Hugo shifts nervously, half ignoring her. The Song’s ratcheting up, a little more anxious than it had been a second ago—though, their meeting is getting closer? Maybe that’s why…

“What if you two had a romantic dinner,” Rapunzel coos, “oh, you could get him flowers! Wait, I don’t think he’d like flowers… maybe some alchemy stuff!”

Hugo tunes her out, listening harder as Varian’s Song amps up again. What the fuck—?!

He flinches roughly at a sudden scream that echoes through the Song—it’s terrified, like nothing Hugo’s ever heard from Varian in nearly twenty years. Hugo smacks into the wall with how harshly he reels back; the pain doesn’t even register over the Song shrieking in his ear.

“—Hugo?” The ringing finally fades enough that Rapunzel’s worried voice leaks through. “Hugo, what is it?”

“Varian,” he heaves out, like the name’s being dragged from his lungs. “Something—where’s Varian?”

Her brows knit, concern plan across her face. “I don’t know, his room, probably? Hugo, what’s happening with Varian?”

But Hugo doesn’t stop to answer and bolts the second Rapunzel gives him a location. His thoughts swirl, his own panic mixes with the frantic staccato of Varian’s Song—his heart rate is through the fucking roof already; everything in his brain has boiled down to find Varian, find Varian, find Varian.

Because he’s never heard the Song act like this, not with pure, primal, animal kind of fear. The type Hugo’s felt before when he’s come close to getting shot. It’s not something he’d ever expected to hear from Varian—and especially not here, in Corona, where he should be safe.

Hugo’s thoughts race with the worst kind of scenarios. What if he’s hurt? What if someone’s attacked him? What if he’s stuck somewhere and can’t get out? It all spurs him faster, sprinting through the castle at a breakneck pace.

Castle employees scatter when they see him coming, getting out of the way and calling his name in confusion. He doesn’t dare stop, not when Varian could be in trouble—could be hurt, could need help, could be trapped—and instead lets the Song’s tumultuous screams guide him in the right direction.

Hugo barrels straight into one of the guards, knocking the man over; but he doesn’t even break stride, sprinting past him even when the man curses at his back.

He starts to recognize the hallways. He’s been here before—with Varian. He doesn’t even pause when he hits the stairs of the tower. Instead, he races up it nearly on all fours to go as fast as he can. The Song grows louder and louder, the panic and fear starting to dim into pure, unadulterated agony.

Hugo hits the top of the tower and barges out the door. “Varian!” he cries, “Varian, are you up here!?” Please, Maker above, let him be up here.

There’s a shifting noise from nearby. Hugo whirls around, heaving for breath, but the air’s torn from his lungs when he finally sees a pair of blue, red-rimmed eyes.

Varian’s near the edge of the roof—not too close, but the same place he was sitting the last time they’d met up here.

“H—Hugo?” his voice cracks. “What… what the fuck are you doing up here?”

Hugo’s lungs finally start working again. “Are you okay?” The question spills out before he can even comprehend what Varian had asked him. “Are you hurt?”

Varian’s face scrunches in confusion. Hugo nearly reaches for him but pulls back at the last second. Varian’s face is red and blotchy, covered in tears, but now he’s looking at Hugo like he’s the one freaking out—which, arguably, he probably is.

“Are you hurt?” Hugo repeats. His Soulmate’s face crumbles at the question, new tears springing free. It takes everything in Hugo to keep himself from wiping them away.

“I—It’s fine. I’m fine.”

"It doesn’t sound fine.”

Varian’s face sours. “It’s never fucking fine!” he snaps. “I just had to fight off my own fiancé, in what world is that fine?”

Hugo reaches for him then and tugs him into a hug. Varian’s whole body shakes—rough, trembling shudders that threaten to tear them both apart. The Song’s barely calmed down, still ringing with adrenaline. It breaks his heart.  “It’s okay to not be okay,” Hugo murmurs. Varian’s hands lift and for a second Hugo thinks he’s about to get hit. But Varian instead wraps them around the blond’s shoulders, holding tight.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” His voice ghosts along Hugo’s collarbone. “I—I, he…”

“What happened?”

Varian’s hands grip tighter into the back of Hugo’s shirt. “Technically nothing.”

“But theoretically?”

Varian just shakes his head. “He was drunk, wanted… something. Didn’t like when I said no.”

Ah. The pieces snap in place. It takes everything for Hugo to keep his reaction under control, to swallow down the rush of anger—Varian needs him right now.

“When I see him, he’s dead.”

Varian sniffles a sigh. “He’s like twice your size.”

“When has that ever stopped me?” It’s stopped him plenty of times before. But Varian doesn’t know that. And honestly when it comes to Landis—and what the fucking prick just tried—it’s a special case.

Varian pulls back from the hug, wiping his eyes. “You’d get murdered,” he manages to joke. “Or arrested.”

Hugo coughs and tries to shake off the feeling of Varian’s warmth from his skin. “I mean, we’re basically already there,” he says. When Varian tilts his head, Hugo sighs. “It’s about what I was going to tell you, before. But if it’s a bad time we can… we can hold off.” It might actually kill him to hold off, but if Varian’s in a bad spot…

The Maker must smile on him, though, as Varian shakes his head. “No, no. You’ve left me waiting for this all day, I want the truth. Especially since we only have a week before… before I move. We might not get another chance.”

So they end up sitting on the roof. It’s the same way they’d been the afternoon before the ball, back when things seemed so much simpler. Back before they’d been locked on this hellish ride with no way off. The knot in Hugo’s stomach is so tight that he’s close to vomiting—but Varian’s right. It’s now or never.

“It’s a bit of a long story, okay? And you have to promise… to promise to let me finish before you make any choices.”

Varian nods. Hugo sucks in a breath through his nose and forces his mouth to open.

“I’m not… not from Koto’s palace. Not really.” Varian’s eyes scrunch together, but now that the words have started Hugo can’t stop them. “I was telling the truth when I said I grew up homeless, and that my mentor found me. Her name is Donella, and she runs… a crime ring.”

Hugo looks out to the courtyard. He can’t face Varian right now. “We got word that the archivist’s assistant from Koto’s royal family was going to cancel his apprenticeship here, but we intercepted the letter. I arrived instead. I’m not… I’m not supposed to be here, Varian. Not really. My job was to find gaps in Fitzherbert’s security and grab one of the crowns from the vault, then deliver it to a contact at an inn by the water on the day of hearts. I’d finish the apprenticeship, and then go back home to fence the thing.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. “So that’s why Landis was able to threaten me. He found a letter from Donnie and he’s holding it over my head if I kept talking to you—he said he’d have me arrested on conspiracy to commit theft and impersonating a castle official. Probably some other shit too if he can swing it.” He rubs at his eyes, the shame of it taking over. The silence speaks volumes. “I… I can’t back out. Donnie would kill me—she’s my mom, I can’t do that to her. But I found something here, something I don’t want to give up. And I don’t know what to do.”

There’s a dreadful, horrible, moment of quiet. Hugo’s hands shake. He can’t fucking do this, can’t listen to Varian berate him, can’t deal with being told to fuck off by his Soulmate, not again.

“I’m so sorry,” Hugo finally bites out. “I never should have called you those things. It was stupid and I was angry, but that isn’t an excuse. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

A pair of arms wrap around his neck. Hugo goes stiff at the feeling. Breath ghosts along the shell of his ear; fluffy hair tickles his neck. The Song rolls with some kind of emotion Hugo can’t place.

“You idiot,” Varian breathes. “You really think I’d kick you out over something like that? Hugo, I was a criminal too—I stole things from that vault. I—I can’t pretend to know what you’ve been through, but… I get it. Being desperate. Needing to make them proud of you.”

The air rushes out of Hugo’s lungs. “You’re… not mad?”

Varian stifles a laugh. “I’m the reason they tightened security, blondie,” he says, “it’d be hypocritical of me to be. Besides,” he reaches up to cup Hugo’s jaw, turning him so that they face each other, “you taught me how to pick a lock. I guessed there must have been more to you.”

Hugo can’t help it; he laughs. “Fuck,” he sighs, “and here I was ready to make a run for it.”

Varian pinches his arm, “I’m full of surprises.”

The blond sighs, leaning forward until their foreheads touch. “Yeah,” he says softly, “you are.”

Varian presses back, closing his eye with a sigh. The Song croons, a gentle tide of music that does everything to set Hugo at ease. “You haven’t done anything yet, right?” he asks. When Hugo shakes his head, Varian nods. “Good, then we can work with that. You said Landis had a note?”

“One from Donnie, yeah.”

“We can use that. I’ll distract him and you can sneak around and grab it. Or we can claim it’s a fake. So long as you’re safe.”

Something under Hugo’s heart warms. He’s struck with a stupid idea, one that’s so dumb Varian would never agree, but the way it rises through his throat it slips from between his teeth before he can stop it.

“Run away with me,” he whispers. Varian’s arms tighten around him for a fraction of a second before the alchemist pulls back.

“What?”

Hugo meets those wide, blue eyes. “Run away with me. We can leave, both of us. Just pack up and run. We’re smart, we can make it work. I just—” want everything, “—I want to be with you. I don’t care what it takes to make that happen. If you want me to never steal again, I’ll do it. But I can’t watch you throw everything away, not like this. We could go somewhere far away, where they’ll never find us. Start a farm, you can show me how to make things grow—or we could get an apartment in a big city, start an alchemy shop.” Varian’s hands find his. Hugo brings them to his lips for a kiss. Varian makes a breathy noise at the feeling of it. Hugo’s eyes slip shut, just thinking about what kind of future they could have together. It’s beautiful. It’s everything he wants.

Varian’s quiet. It’s an insane idea, one that Hugo knows he won’t agree too, but the image of a future they could build together is something to cherish. From the way their heads are leaning up against each other, Hugo feels how Varian shakes his head.

“I can’t,” he says. His voice cracks. “It sounds wonderful… but I can’t. Not with my family at risk.”

Somehow their hands find each other. “I understand,” Hugo says to cover up the sound of his heart cracking. “But there’s something else you need to know—before you make that choice.” Varian’s eyes squeeze shut. For what feels like only seconds they sit, mourning what could have been, until Varian sighs out a question.

“What did you find?” he asks. Hugo makes a questioning noise, so Varian repeats himself. “You said you found something here, something you don’t want to give up. What did you find?”

“I… I found my Soulmate.”

Varian flinches back. Hugo tightens his grip on Varian’s hands—don’t leave me, not now—and holds them tight. The alchemist looks ready to crumble, like he’ll shatter with another word. His devastation is palpable—so Hugo forces himself to speak. To keep the moment going before it can get stuck and sink into the muck of his own mistakes.

“I found him. He’s… he’s amazing. He’s kind, and funny, and so, so smart.” The Song dips into such hurt, such sadness, that it nearly steals Hugo’s breath away—because Varian thinks he’s talking about someone else. But Varian hasn’t pulled away entirely yet. There’s still a chance. So he keeps going, pushing, moving the truth closer and closer.

“He loves his family more than anything—his dad, his sister, so many others. And he loves this city, even when he hasn’t always thought so.” Hugo holds Varian’s hands tighter; he couldn’t let go now if he tried. “I’ve known him for only a few months, but it feels like it’s been forever—and I can’t help but want to keep him in my life, even when I know that I can’t offer him much of anything compared to the life he’s got now. He makes me want to be selfish.”

Varian’s starting to put the pieces together. It’s obvious—in the way his shoulders hike up, the way his blue eyes start to spark with recognition. In the way he stares at Hugo like he’s gone insane—but under it all, hope starts to leak through the Song.

“Hugo, who… who is your Soulmate?”

Hugo smiles wetly, letting the first tear slip free.

“It’s you, Varian,” he finally says. “It was always you.”

The Song stutters to a shocked halt. The needle skips the groove as Varian stares at him with such open confusion it hurts to see. “M—me?” he asks. “How could it… I don’t—Hugo, you can’t be joking about things like this.”

“I’m not,” but how to make him see that? “The day I arrived, on your birthday. I heard you Sing. I Resonated.”

Varian’s shaking his head. His whole body screams in denial, especially when Varian manages to pull his hands out of Hugo’s to hold at his chest. Hiding his heart away.

“Hugo I—I don’t think that’s possible.” But they both know it is. “A one-sided bond like that, it’s almost as rare as…”

“As being Songless?”

Varian’s face crumples. Hugo chances reaching out, wiping a stray tear away. “I hear you, Varian,” he says reverently. “Your Song is perfect.”

Varian shakes his head then. “That can’t be it.”

“Why not?”

“Because—because if I’m you’re Soulmate, then I’ve ruined your life, Hugo! You should hate me! Stuck in a bond with someone who’d never hear you back? What kind of a life is that?!”

“One that I want, so long as you’re in it.”

Varian’s Song nearly trips over itself, the cascading feelings of JoyHopePainHurt all falling over each other in a desperate attempt to come out on top. The alchemist shakes his head again. His eyes slam shut—Hugo feels a slight trill of fear when Varian pulls away.

“You’re confused,” he says. His voice is oddly flat. “You… the Song made you think like this. That you’re… you’re obligated to end up with me. You’ve grown up with the idea of me in your head, one that the Song gave you, and you’re just following it because that’s what everyone expects you to do. Hugo—I don’t want to make it sound like I don’t like you, I do, but do you like me for me, or because the Song says you’re supposed to like me?”

Hugo’s struck speechless for a brutal moment. Varian must assume his answer, as he begins to pull farther away—the sight makes Hugo panic, a trill of horror running up his spine at the thought. “Don’t go—” he gasps, “—don’t go, I just need to talk.”

Varian pauses. He looks at Hugo like he’s seeing him in a new light, one that’s considerably more delicate than anything else he’s seen before. Hugo sucks in air like he’s been drowning; his grip is white knuckled on Varian’s sleeve.

“I—when we first met, I didn’t like you,” he blurts out. Varian huffs a shocked laugh, but Hugo keeps the thought rolling. “After I Resonated, when we met in the library, I didn’t think I liked you. I—I judged you before we got to know each other, which was wrong, but I was convinced I didn’t like you. I ignored the Song. I always have.”

Varian’s fixated on him now, those blue eyes wide as he searches Hugo’s face for any kind of lie. The blond clears his throat against the thickness of his words. “And I thought I would be fine, right? I’ve always been by myself, I thought I didn’t need anyone. But then there you were, and I got to know you—”

“Hugo?”

“Please, let me finish. I got to know you, Varian. And I saw someone who was so… sure of himself. So determined to do the right thing, even at a personal cost, and wanted nothing but the best for everyone around him. Varian I saw you, and I know that I would have liked you no matter what.”

But Varian stills shakes his head. “It’s not real, Hugo,” he mutters. Hugo’s heart lurches when he makes to stand—he’s leaving, just like Hugo had always feared, just like Donella had said he would, and there’s only one thing to keep him here, to make him listen.

It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once. Everything he’s ever felt pours out of him as the words flow, the music in his ear flowing in tune. Varian freezes when Hugo starts—he shudders, staring at Hugo with wide, frightened eyes. But Hugo refuses to stop, not now that he’s finally jumped off the knife’s edge and picked his path. The Song continues to flow from him, all the pain and agony of his childhood, the respect for Donella and her work, and, dare he say, the affection he holds for Varian, the one that had nestled in the space right below his heart and refused to leave.

It goes on for an agonizing time until the melody finally dies. Hugo closes his Song, and the silence rushes back in. Varian’s gaping, a fish out of water, looking like someone’s dropped a bomb on him. He’s pale, scarily so—Hugo reaches a cautious hand for him, only for it to be shrugged away as Varian retakes his seat. The alchemist’s eyes are blown wide and he brings up a pair of shaking hands to cover his ears.

“Varian?” Hugo’s voice drifts through the quite of the night. It’s cautious, and scared, and oh so very hopeful. Varian’s head snaps to him, those eyes complexly unreadable. He looks ready to cry, ready to laugh, ready for something—but then, like a rushing wave, a wall of emotion flings through Hugo’s end of the bond. Shock, agony, fear, but above all… disbelief.

“Hugo,” he gasps. His voice is scratchy. “Hugo I—holy shit, I—Hugo—!”

He slaps his hands over his ears then. Varian curls in on himself, shuddering like he’s about to fall apart. Hugo reaches for him then, a solid hand to the shoulder to keep Varian from toppling over; it’s that warm touch that springs Varian back to the present.

“Varian?” Hugo asks again. He’s struck by the feeling of hope, sick and cloying and oh so very desperate.

His Soulmate looks at him then, eyes swimming with tears. “I—I hear it,” he whispers. “Hugo, I hear it.” And then he’s rushing forward, Varian’s arms coming up and grabbing him into a tight hug. “I hear it,” Varian whispers, “I hear you.”

Hugo shudders at the thought. A cold fear works down his spine, unyielding and smooth. Varian could hear him, all of him, every horrible nook and cranny, every rough edge of his rough personality—what a horrifying thought. Surely he’d run away screaming, once the shock wears off.

Varian pulls back from the hug. For a second he looks ready to kiss Hugo, to draw him in and Resonate in a very different way. The alchemist leans forward; Hugo lets his eyes slip shut in anticipation…

So when he gets a firm slap upside the head, he decidedly doesn’t see it coming.

“What the fuck!?” Varian snaps. “Why the hell didn’t you say something?! Hugo it’s been six months! What the fuck were you waiting for, a goddamn invitation?!”

Hugo ducks out of the way of another swing. It’s not like Varian’s smacking very hard; he’s definitely not out to hurt, but that doesn’t mean Hugo’s about to take it. Varian makes another half-hearted swat before his hands drop to Hugo’s face to hold him in place. Their eyes meet—there’s a mix, in Varian’s eye: something dancing around rage and exasperation and humor.

“I couldn’t!” Hugo admits. “Not at first, I didn’t want a Soulmate, and you were…”

“Songless?”

“Notoriously so.”

Varian looks ready to strangle him. Hugo looks away, out to the night sky. There’s so many stars—he’s suddenly hit with the thought of Varian’s freckles. The Song trills. Fuck, he’s got it bad. Hugo sighs and scratches the back of his neck.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “It started with just not believing it. And then I thought, with the Song thing—I’ve never Sang, not before tonight, but I thought the Song made a mistake—I wanted to think that. So I just… did.”

Varian looks up to those same stars. “All this time.”

Hugo shrugs. “Not a lot of time for Singing when you’re busy running for your life.”

But Varian shakes his head. “That’s not true,” he says. “Eugene has a similar backstory and Rapunzel’s told me about hearing the Song since she was born. Why didn’t you Sing?”

“It’s more complicated than that—”

“No it’s not. Hugo, I spent my entire life Songless because you didn’t Sing. I want an answer from you please.” He looks ready to start crying again. The Song dips in waves, begging for the truth. “Why wouldn’t you Sing?”

And something in Hugo just snaps.

“Because I was scared to!” he finally spits out. It’s like pulling teeth. “I was scared, is that what you want to hear?”

Varian pulls back in surprise—they’d been mostly quiet until now, so Hugo’s voice seems unbearably loud. “Scared?” he breathes. It’s obvious that he’s asking Hugo for clarification but Hugo’s on a roll now, and that truth that had pressed against the back of his teeth is finally free. There’s no shoving it back down.

“I was scared of what you might hear.” Hugo’s voice cracks. “Varian, all my life I heard you. Your kindness, your empathy, your… everything. All the reasons that I—that prove you’re a good person. And that made me scared to Sing, because I couldn’t bear the thought of someone like you having to hear someone like me.”

“Hugo—”

“Varian.”

Shame washes over Hugo in a boiling wave. He has to suck in a breath through his nose to keep the pressure behind his eyes from spilling over and down his cheeks. If he cries he might just fall apart entirely. He has to keep himself together because how dare he feel upset when Varian’s finally found who’s to blame for his suffering in silence, all these years? And to know it’s because Hugo’s nothing but a coward—

A pair of hands gently take hold of his cheeks and tilts his head. Hugo winces, ready for Varian to shake him; the press of lips against his is a surprise for sure. He leans into it immediately, bringing his own hands up to cup Varian’s cheek in turn. Don’t leave me, his actions say, not like everyone else. He couldn’t bear it.

Varian breaks the kiss all too soon—but when he pulls back he’s smiling through the tears in his eyes. “I want you to know one thing,” he murmurs, “just one. Hugo, I have never once thought you were a bad person.”

Hugo laughs. His face is wet. “You don’t know me. Not really.”

Varian’s grin only grows. “I do,” he says. He brings their foreheads together so that their breaths mingle. “I hear you. And I, for one, like what I hear. I like it a lot, Hugo.”

Hugo leans into the touch: it’s so warm, like a comforting fire. He’ll gladly burn.

“Run away with me?” he asks again. It’s desperate, pleading. Please, it says, I can’t lose you. Not now, when we’ve just found each other. He knows what waits for them if they don’t get out, knows what waits for Varian the longer they stay. The Day of Hearts is only two days away—the sword of Damocles swings ever closer with every pass.

Varian huffs a laugh. He leans over, resting his head against Hugo’s shoulder. His arms wind around Hugo’s torso, hugging tightly. He sucks in a long breath through his nose; the Song twitters with thought, with the chaos incarnate that Varian always has when he’s wrapped up in ideas. His noses presses into Hugo’s shoulder, and he finally gives Hugo his answer.

“Okay,” he says. “But give me tomorrow. I need to talk to Rapunzel; she might have a way out for us.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

Varian tilts his head and presses a kiss to Hugo’s jaw.

“Then we’ll run,” he says, “and I’ll show you how to make things grow.”

((TL/DR Landis shows up drunk and tries to proposition Varian and doesn't take no for an answer. Varian brains him with the scales Hugo had requested from the alchemy shop in chapter eight, and then runs like hell.))

[songmingisthighs]

[16.14] hongjoong × roadie!reader × yunho

⇀ you've always admired him, and after being given the chance to work for him, you couldn't help but fall for him. But to him, you're just his groupie.

⇁ tw : joong's an ungrateful jerk 🙃

You stood by the side of the stage, eyes dreamy watching Hongjoong performed his latest song so beautifully. He looked ethereal on stage; the spotlight on him, his expression, the emotion he brought out. To be able to see him perform in person is a whole out of this world experience. Even after a year of being his roadie, you never once felt like it was a waste of time.

Without you realizing, he finished his performance and walked off backstage after waving to his fans.

As he walked to you, you couldn't help but jump excitedly and clap for him.

"Oh my god, Hongjoong! That's amazing !!" you exclaimed loudly to him. You had a wide grin on your face as you handed out his water bottle and towel.

The initial genuine smile that Hongjoong shot to his fans changed immediately as he came face to face with you. He raised an eyebrow and just scoffed, "of course you'd think that's amazing," he muttered, snatching the items from your hands rather harshly. The staff around watched with pity, while idols and celebrities tend to treat staff in a shitty manner because they're not close, it was particularly harsh for an idol to treat the person who willingly follows him around like a lovesick puppy so badly, like they're nothing but a nuisance. And it was particularly heartbreaking to see even through the abuse Hongjoong gave you, you still look at him with much love and adoration.

As Hongjoong took a sip from his bottle, he grimaced. He looked at the bottle before he shot you a displeased look, "this is not the brand I usually drink," he stated.

You blinked in confusion initially, "what?" you asked, not quite sure. Hongjoong groaned in annoyance at you, "this is not the bottled water brand I usually drink, do you want me to lose my vocal abilities that you claimed you love so much?" he scowled.

Realizing he was being serious, you stuttered, "I-I'm sorry, I tried looking for that brand from the vending machine and the cafeteria here but they don't sell it," you explained.

Hongjoong took a step closer to you, he was so close that you could count his eyelashes. The proximity made you blush furiously, nervous as the position seemed very intimate.

"If you can't even go out to look for the things I specifically asked you to do, drop out of being my roadie because I can find your replacement in two seconds if I want to," he growled out lowly. He proceeded to push the water bottle into your chest harshly, sending you hurtling backwards and hitting the wall behind you.

You chuckled to no one as he walked off, "I'm sorry, Hongjoong! It won't happen again!" you called out pathetically.

Tears threatened to drop from your eyes as your head had just bumped into the wall rather harshly. But you couldn't cry then and there. You knew that if you cried, people would talk badly about Hongjoong. He already had his own share of stress, you can't add more to it. So you just gripped onto the part of your head that was pounding from impact pain, silently hoping it'd go away soon.

"Hey, are you okay?" a voice called out.

You looked up to see one of the rising idols leaning close to you, he had a worried look on his face. You immediately recognized him as Jung Yunho, the idol who is very esteemed for his performance abilities. He was scheduled to perform on the same stage as Hongjoong today and he had performed two stages before Hongjoong but you didn't think you'd be able to see him.

Smiling sheepishly, you rubbed at the sore spot, "Y-yeah I'm okay, I'm such a klutz tripping over my own feet like that," you chuckled.

Though you tried lying, Yunho saw the whole thing unfold from not too far, he caught the interaction between you and Hongjoong. He didn't know how Hongjoong was able to treat someone so badly.

But, seeing how hard you were trying to cover it up, he decided to just spare you and play along. Yunho shot you a gentle smile, "if you're that clumsy, then maybe you should have someone be with you always," he teased.

You look up at him and blushed slightly. You bit on your bottom lip in embarrassment but also out of shyness.

"You're Hongjoong's roadie, right?" he asked, tilting his head to the side rather adorably. You nod at him in confirmation, rather eagerly than you intended. But you were just happy that someone noticed that you were a part of Hongjoong's entourage.

Just as you were about to verbally confirm him, Hongjoong reappeared, grabbing onto your arm rather harshly.

"What are you still here for? I was waiting for you to- oh, hey Yunho," he greeted as he noticed Yunho stood in front of you. Yunho smiled at the older guy. To regular people, it might seem just like a regular smile but to those who know him well, that smile spoke of how Yunho is apprehensive of Hongjoong and how he doesn't seem to like the guy so much.

"Hi, hyung, long time no see," the younger said to which the older just shrugged, "our schedules never seem to match," he simply stated.

Yunho's eyes darted to Hongjoong's hand that was still on your arm. That seemed to make Hongjoong realized what he has been doing so he immediately let go, much to your disappointment.

"Well, I gotta go now, I have to go back to the company to finish up my next project," Hongjoong excused, You know very well that he has no new project lined up which means that Hongjoong was feeling rather uncomfortable and maybe even threatened.

Luckily, Yunho just shrugged at him, "yeah, sure, see you around, hyung," he then shifted his gaze to you, shooting you a blush-inducing charming smile, "and I'll see you soon, (Y/N)," he smiled widely at you.

You smiled back to him and nod, "yeah, see you soon, Yunho,"

From behind you, you could hear Hongjoong scoffed loudly before he simply walked away without saying anything else.

When you realized he had left without you, you immediately rushed to catch up with him.

Back at his waiting room, staff were packing things and you helped around, making sure things are in order and nothing gets left behind. Halfway through the packing, you realized that Hongjoong was actively ignoring you. Sure, he usually does that anyways but he'd throw comments here and there and even make you stop what you were doing to get him something or do something for him. You couldn't deny that there was this uncomfortable, tingling feeling that lingers. But for now, you ignored it and got back to doing what you had been doing.

Once everything was packed and loaded onto the car, you silently walked behind Hongjoong and his manager who was discussing his schedule. You weren't paying attention as it doesn't really concern you particularly anyways.

But you suddenly felt like you had bumped into someone. When you looked up, you realized that Hongjoong had stopped mid-way before he turned to look at you.

"I think I left my AirPods backstage, could you please help me find it?" he asked with a blank expression on his face.

Without even hesitating, you eagerly nodded and shot him a smile, "Yeah, sure! No problem!" you said before running off back to where you had just been.

Due to the large building, it took you quite some time to reach backstage and it took you 20 minutes to look for Hongjoong's AirPods. Some of the staff around were helping you look for it but they weren't able to find what you were looking for.

Dejected, you walked back towards the parking lot where you knew Hongjoong's van was parked.

But when you arrived, you saw that the reserved parking spot where Hongjoong's van was parked was empty. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, you were pretty sure that this was where it was parked, the spot still had a sign with Hongjoong's name on it.

You reached into your pocket to dial his manager, knowing that when in the car, Hongjoong is more likely than not to be asleep since he usually spend his nights writing masterpieces.

The manager thankfully picked up at the third ring, "Hello?" he called, "h-hey, it's me! Where are you guys? I'm at the parking lot and the van's not here?" you asked him. "Us? We're already on the way back to Hongjoong's apartment, why?" his words made you felt like your stomach just dropped. "W-what? Y-you left me here?" you asked in disbelief, "left you? We didn't, Hongjoong said an idol invited you to hang with him and that you were going, Yunho was it?" he asked back.

Right at that moment, you felt like you wanted to cry for the second time that day. Though it was evident that Hongjoong was punishing you, you convinced yourself that he was just joking and that he wanted to prank you. You convinced yourself that Hongjoong didn't mean for what he did.

Thanking the manager, you quickly hung up and walked back inside to exit through the main lobby.

As you walked dejectedly to the main lobby, you felt someone tapping on your shoulder and to your surprise, it was Yunho again.

"Hey! You're still here? I thought you had left a while ago," he asked. You took notice of his tendency to tilt his head to the side when asking a question. You laughed sheepishly at him, "uhh, yeah, I-I- uhm, I left something behind so I told Hongjoong to leave without me," you said. After you said that, you realized how ridiculous it sounded and how people could tell it was a lie from miles away.

But even if Yunho realized your obvious lie, he said nothing. He kept a gentle smile on his face and nodded towards the main door, "you know, it's kinda nearing dinner time, and I'm quite hungry. There's this little small restaurant nearby, the owner knows me well so we're gonna get some pretty good discount for our meal, what do you say?"

Just as Yunho finished his sentence, your phone rang and when you looked at the caller, you were quite surprised to see that Hongjoong was the one who called you.

You excused yourself to Yunho to take the call, but you didn't move to the side to answer it. When you picked up, you heard Hongjoong sighed on the other line, "you still need to be picked up? We can turn around if you want," despite his offer, his voice sounded begrudging as if he was forced to say that.

Nevertheless, your heart skipped a beat at his offer, thinking that maybe he does care. But when you looked up and see Yunho's genuine and gentle eyes, your breath caught in your throat and for the first time ever, you seemed to realize just how different Yunho treated you compared to Hongjoong.

While you were the one who chose to be his roadie, a glorified unpaid staff, he never treated you as to how you deserve to be treated. Meanwhile, Yunho, who had only known you for probably 10 minutes, treated you better than Hongjoong ever could.

"Hello? Just say if you want to or not before we're too far from where you're at," he sighed in annoyance. A small smile broke on your face after the epiphany you just got.

"Sorry, Hongjoong, you don't have to turn around to get me," "Really? My manager said it's still possible to turn around," he said. The use of 'my manager said' confirmed that he didn't really care about you. And maybe you should start caring about him less.

"Yeah, no, I'm going out to eat with Yunho," you told him simply. Before he could respond, however, you had hung up and shove your phone deep into your bag. You beamed up at Yunho and nodded your head towards the door, "so? Are we gonna eat or not?"

Yunho smiled brightly at you and nodded very much eagerly, "Yes! You're not gonna regret this!" he exclaimed happily.

Yeah, deep down you know you weren't going to regret your choice.