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hwaflms · 6 months ago

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HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

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six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair," it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

4K notes · View notes

slayfics · 1 year ago

Text

Muichiro gets jealous when another Hashira looks after you on a mission.

Muichiro was sitting down leaning against a tree, not too far outside his mansion. He knew he had a long night ahead of him patrolling his area, so he took these few peaceful moments of twilight to sip some tea before heading out.

That was when he looked up to see you returning to the mansion. You had been gone out on a mission for a few days. Since you had been training so hard, you were sometimes sent on solo missions without him now.

Muichiro was proud of your improvement but he found himself occasionally worrying about you when you were gone for long periods of time. Seeing you return in one piece caused him to relax more against the tree.

"Hi Tokito!" You greeted the Hashira.

"Welcome back, how was your mission?" He asked, then grazed his eyes across you and noticed some blood on your sleeve.

"It went well I-" You started to say but Muichiro cut you off.

"You're hurt." He stated staring at the blood on your sleeve.

"Oh it's not that bad." You said trying to brush off his statement then hid your arm behind your back.

"Come here." He demanded and set down his tea.

You sat down next to him and he pulled up your sleeve to inspect the injury, but he found it had already been wrapped and tended to.

"Iguro helped me!" You said. Muichiro noticed the smile that spread across your face, and the slightest increase of your heart rate when you spoke the other Hashira's name. He had no explanation for it but he suddenly felt nauseous and hot.

"I ran into him on my mission and he taught me how to dress my wound. He said it wasn't anything big enough to go to the butterfly mansion about."

While you explained, Muichiro still had his hand on your rolled up sleeve and he stared intently at your wrapped wound while he tried to make sense of the overwhelming feeling that was coming over him. He should be grateful Obanai was there to help, but instead he felt like shoving his face in the dirt the next time he crossed paths with him. He noticed the excitement in your voice when you talked about Obanai and he couldn't help but wonder why.

"You like him?" Muichiro asked. A question that surprised you.

"Well I respect him as a Hashira of course." You answered confused by the question.

"Your heart rate increased when you spoke his name. Do you like him?" Muichiro further questioned.

"Tokito... are you... are you jealous that Iguro helped me?" You asked.

Jealous? Is that what this feeling was? Muichiro finally let go of your sleeve and looked off into the distance. What sense did being jealous make? As hard as Muichiro tried he couldn't think of a logical explanation to be jealous...

"No. What sense would being jealous make." Muichiro finally stated and looked at you.

"Hm... well ok then. I guess that means you won’t mind that I was just on my way to write Iguro a letter. I want to thank him again for staying with me through the night while I felt better." You said playfully and got up to walk away. Muichiro reached up quickly, grabbed you around your waist and pulled you down to sit between his legs. You now sat facing away from him, back resting against his chest.

"No." Was all Muichiro managed to say. He felt his body tremble in a way he did not recognize. He still wasn't understanding his own emotions, all he knew was he wanted you far away from Obanai.

"I knew it! You are jealous!" You exclaimed.

"What do you mean he stayed with you? How did he stay with you?" Muichiro asked, arms wrapped around you squeezing you tighter against him. The image in his head of you with Obanai was making him sick.

"I just meant he waited with me till I was ok to make the journey back here. What did you think I meant??"

Muichiro didn't answer but rested his head on top of yours causing his hair to cascade around you. In this position you could feel how fast his heart was racing.

"I don't like Igruo." You said hoping to help Muichiro relax. You realized now your teasing had gone too far. However, you had never seen Muichiro react this way and you wanted more insight to his true feelings for you.

"Are you still hurt? Do you need me to stay with you?" Muichiro asked.

"I'm feeling much better. I know you have to do your patrol soon, but when you get back... you know you're always welcome to stay with me... and you should know that isn't something I'd offer Iguro to do."

Muichiro was glad you were facing away from him and couldn't see the flushed color his face turned from your invitation.

"Ok. I'll stay with you when I get back, and I will teach you how to redress your wound because you're my Tsuguko."

"Yes, I'm yours Tokito." You smiled, amused by Muichiro’s sudden possessiveness over you.

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justallmyfantasies · 13 days ago

Text

she’s just like candy

she’s so sweet.

contains: dad!alex, smut (unprotected piv, fingering) that’s about it sorry lolll

word count: 4.8k

you’d been with him for a while, met his family, even his daughter. she was lovely, a spitting image of her him. her brown eyes, brown hair and smile. it was the cutest thing you’d ever seen. you didn’t think you’d be that fond of children but here you were, playing dolls with her in his house and going through halloween costumes with her.

alex watched from the doorframe, you didn’t know he was there. he snuck up to you, making you scream into laughter, the little girl joining in.

“jesus christ, did you have to sneak up on me like that?” you scolded but your voice soft. the little girl giggled once more, her hair bouncing as she jumped up and down.

olivia looked up at alex, her smile beaming at him. “daddy, look! we picked this costume!” her voice was sweet. she stood up and posed, showing off her outfit. she twirled around and smiled.

alex kneeled down to her level, pulling her into a big hug. “you look great, poppet.” he ruffled her hair, making her squirm in his arms, protesting for him to stop messing her hair up. he giggled in response. you looked at them both, a big smile growing on your face.

as olivia continued to squirm and protest, alex only seemed to laugh more, clearly enjoying the playful banter between them. watching them together reminded you of how lucky you were to have found someone who was not only a great partner but also an amazing father.

olivia finally managed to wriggle out of his grip, her hair a messy tangle after his ruffling. she pouted up at him, but there was a twinkle in her eye that showed she was secretly amused. she ran over to you. “can you fix my hair please. daddy messed it up.” she looked at alex and pouted which made him laugh.

you smiled at her and beckoned her over. “of course, sweetheart.” you sat down and gestured for her to sit down in front of you. olivia sat down on the floor in front of you and you started to brush through her hair, trying to tame the messy tangles.

as you combed through her hair, olivia started to chatter away, telling you about school and her friends and all the things she was excited about for halloween. you listened patiently, smiling at her stories and making small talk in between.

alex stood nearby, leaning against the wall with a soft smile on his face as he watched the two of you interact. he could see the bond growing between you and his daughter, and it made his heart swell with happiness.

you finished sorting out her hair and gave it a final brush, making sure it was perfectly neat and neat again. olivia got up and ran over to the mirror to check her reflection, a look of absolute joy on her face.

"thanks!" she exclaimed and ran over to you to give you a big hug.

you hugged her back, feeling a lump form in your throat. being around olivia made you feel like a part of something bigger, something more meaningful. you looked up and saw alex still smiling, a proud look in his eyes.

olivia skipped back over to alex, tugging at his sleeve. "daddy, can we watch a movie?" she asked with pleading eyes. alex chuckled and picked her up, hoisting her up onto his hip.

“i thought you wanted to go trick or treating?" he asked, bouncing her up and down playfully.

olivia's eyes widened with excitement, suddenly remembering the reason why you guys were looking at costumes. "oh yeah!" she exclaimed, her legs kicking as she squirmed in his arms. "can we go? please, please, please!"

alex looked over at you, a grin on his face. “what do you think? up for a night of trick or treating?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

you shrugged, not knowing if you should or shouldn’t. you didn’t want to ruin their time as dad and daughter but you also wanted to join in. “do you want me to come?” you asked.

alex’s expression softened at your answer. “of course we want you to come, love.” he said, his voice gentle. olivia nodded enthusiastically, her eyes wide.

you couldn’t help but smile at their excitement. “alright, then. count me in.” you said, getting up from the couch and joining them.

“yes!” olivia exclaimed, pumping her fist into the air. alex chuckled and put her down. “go get your shoes on, poppet.” he said, giving her hair one last messy ruffle before she dashed out of the room.

as olivia rushed off to get ready, alex turned to you, a soft smile on his face. he reached out and took your hand, giving it a light squeeze. “thank you for this.”

you returned his smile, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words. “no need to thank me. i’m happy to spend time with you both.” your eyes met, and in that moment, you felt an undeniable connection between the three of you, one that was growing stronger with each passing day.

olivia came back into the room, her shoes on and her excitement levels off the charts. “i’m ready!” she exclaimed, jumping up and down again. alex laughed and ruffled her hair once more, clearly loving how energetic she was.

you chuckled, loving her enthusiasm. "okay, i think we're all set then." you said, grabbing your jacket from the coat rack.

as you all headed out the door, olivia skipped ahead, her costume rustling softly as she moved. she looked back over her shoulder at the two of you, her smile lighting up her face. alex put his hand on your lower back, guiding you outside.

the three of you spent half of the evening knocking on doors, screaming trick or treat and enjoying each others company. before you knew it, olivia’s pace was starting to slow down meaning she was tired and past her bedtime.

after a few more houses, you all decided to go back to the house. opening the door and being greeted by the coldness of the house. goosebumps hitting your skin. alex spent five minutes trying to convince olivia to go to sleep, after she while she gave up her fight and let alex take her to bed.

you stayed in the living room, waiting for alex to come back downstairs. you sat on the couch, the evening's events swirling around in your head. you were lost in thought, when you heard alex's footsteps echoing down the stairs.

he walked into the room, looking a little exhausted. he sat down next to you with a sigh. "she's finally asleep." he said, running a hand through his hair. "always a struggle getting her to fall asleep."

you chuckled, feeling a pang of sympathy for him. you knew all too well how stubborn kids could be when it came to bedtime. "well, she has a lot of energy. it's no wonder it takes her a while to settle down."

alex nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "you're telling me. i love her to bits, but sometimes i just wish she wasn’t so hyper.”

you laughed, imagining how chaotic it must be trying to get her to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. "i can only imagine. i don’t know how you handle it on a daily basis."

alex rolled his eyes playfully. "i have no idea how i do it either, but it’s all worth it when i see her smile." he leaned back into the couch, stretching is arms above his head.

you smiled at his words. hearing him talk about his daughter always melted your heart. "you're a great dad, you know that?" you said, nudging his shoulder with yours.

alex looked at you, a soft smile on his face. "thanks, love. i try my best. she’s everything to me." he paused for a moment, his expression turning contemplative. "you’re good with her too, you know. she really looks up to you."

you blushed slightly at his words, not used to being praised for your interactions with olivia. "you really think so?" you asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

alex nodded emphatically. “i know so. she always asks about the next time she’ll get to see you. she practically lights up when she knows you’re coming over. it’s adorable.”

your heart swelled at his words. it was one thing to have a good relationship with alex, but it was something else entirely to know that his daughter also liked having you around. “i can’t believe she enjoys my presence that much.” you mused.

alex chuckled, shaking his head. “why is it so hard to believe? i enjoy your presence too, you know.” he reached out and took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours.

you felt a familiar flutter in your chest as he held your hand. no matter how many times he touched you, it always sent a shiver down your spine. "i know you do." you said, your voice soft. "but it's still weird to think that she likes me as much as you do."

"well, you’d better believe it." alex replied, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. "olivia has a good eye for people, and she can tell when someone is genuine. and you, my love, are nothing but genuine."

you felt a blush creeping up your cheeks again, feeling a little overwhelmed by his compliment. "you really have a way with words, you know that?" you teased, trying to lighten the mood.

alex grinned, enjoying the effect he had on you. "what can i say? i know how to flatter the ladies." he leaned in a little closer, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "or at least, i know how to flatter you."

you couldn’t help but laugh, feeling both flustered and happy at the same time. "careful, alex. too many compliments and you’ll start inflating my ego."

"i wouldn't mind if your ego went up a bit." alex replied, his tone playful. "you deserve to feel good about yourself." he reached up with his free hand, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

you felt your heart skip a beat as his fingers grazed against your skin. alex was always so gentle with you, like you were something fragile and precious. "you’re being sweet again." you accused, a small smile playing on your lips.

alex chuckled, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "you bring out the sweetness in me." he replied, his fingers now tracing a path down the side of your neck.

you shivered slightly at his touch, feeling a heat spread throughout your body. it was like every time he touched you, it sent a current of electricity through your veins. "you're making it hard to focus on anything but you." you said, your voice a little hoarse.

alex’s grin widened, knowing full well the effect he had on you. "oh really?" he leaned in closer, his eyes locking onto yours.

"really." you breathed, your pulse quickening. alex was so close you could feel the heat radiating from his skin. it was as if he had a gravitational pull that lured you in, making it impossible to resist him.

"i see." alex’s voice was low and sultry, his breath warm against your ear, his hand now resting on your thigh. “you’re pretty, you know that?”

you felt a shiver run down your spine as his hand rested on your leg. “you’ve mentioned that before.” you replied, managing to keep your voice steady. alex’s proximity was making it hard to think straight.

"well, i’ll keep reminding you until you believe it." alex said, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your skin. he chuckled softly, his breath tickling your ear. "i don’t think you realize how beautiful you are."

you couldn’t help but blush at his words, feeling both embarrassed and pleased by his compliments. “i think you’re exaggerating a bit.” you mumbled, looking down at your lap.

alex gently grasped your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. "i’m not exaggerating," he said, his tone firm but gentle. "i mean every word.” he paused for a moment, his eyes searching your face. "i should really stop before you get a big head."

you let out another small laugh, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. "don't worry, my ego is still in check." you replied jokingly, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy despite the butterflies in your stomach.

"good." alex said, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw. he leaned in even closer, his lips now hovering just inches from yours. "I wouldn’t want you getting too full of yourself."

you couldn't help but hold your breath as his lips got closer to yours, your heart fluttering in your chest. "i think i can manage." you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper.

"i’ll hold you to that." alex murmured, his gaze dropping to your lips. his thumb traced the contour of your bottom lips, sending a jolt of electricity down your spine.

you were about to say something witty in response, when alex closed the distance between you, his lips claiming yours in a deep, passionate kiss. all rational thought left your mind as he kissed you, your body melting against his.

alex wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him as he continued to kiss you. his tongue darting out to meet yours, his grip soft. his scent was intoxicating, a mix of musk and cologne that sent your senses into overdrive.

you let yourself get lost in the moment, your hands burying themselves in his hair as you returned his kiss with equal fervor. the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you in this intimate bubble.

alex pulled away from the kiss, but only to trail his lips down your neck, leaving a trail of fiery kisses in their wake. he gently nipped at the sensitive skin, making you gasp and cling onto him tighter.

"alex..." you whispered, your voice thick with desire. his stubble grazed your skin, sending shivers down your spine. he chuckled softly against your neck, leaving a trail of love bites along your skin.

alex's hands were roaming freely over your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire in their path. he pulled you onto his lap, his hands coming to rest on your hips, holding you tightly against him.

you straddled his hips, your body fitting perfectly against his as you looked down at him. his eyes were darkened with desire, his mouth slightly parted as he gazed up at you. "you drive me crazy, you know that?" he whispered, his hands tightening their grip on your waist.

you smiled down at him, feeling a rush of power at the effect you had on him. "i could say the same for you." you replied, leaning down and tracing a path along his jawline with your lips.

alex let out a soft groan, his head tilting back to give you better access to his neck. your fingers found their way under his shirt, tracing the muscles of his chest and stomach. his skin was hot against your touch, his body responding to you in a way that made your head spin.

your lips continued their journey down his neck, feeling his pulse quicken under your touch. you could feel him growing harder beneath you, his body responding to your every move. your hands roamed over his chest, tracing patterns over his skin as you nibbled on his earlobe.

"god, you're killing me." alex breathed, his hands gripping your hips with a near-bruising force. he pulled your face back up to his, his lips crashing into yours in a sloppy, desperate kiss.

you matched the intensity of his kiss, your tongue tangling with his as your body pressed flush against his. you could feel the heat radiating from him, the desperate need in his touch as his hands ran over your back.

alex suddenly shifted, picking you up and carrying you up the stairs to his bedroom. shutting the door behind him with his foot, careful to not wake the child sleeping in the room opposite.

he laid you down on the bed, his body following soon after. he propped himself up on his forearms, hovering above you. his breath hitched as he looked down at you, a mixture of desire and awe in his eyes.

"i want you." he said, his voice hoarse with need. he leaned down and captured your lips in another kiss, his hands already working on removing your shirt.

you arched your back, aiding him in his quest to undress you. your heart was pounding in your chest as his hands roamed over your bare skin, leaving a trail of fire in their path.

alex pulled back, admiring your exposed body for a moment before he began to slowly remove his own shirt. you watched with bated breath as each inch of his torso was revealed, the sight making your mouth go dry.

he tossed the shirt aside before leaning back over you, his body pressing against yours. you could feel his hardness against your thigh and it made you shiver with anticipation. he captured your lips in another deep kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth as his hands continued their exploration of your body.

you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. your fingers dug into his back, feeling the muscles flexing beneath your touch. alex groaned into the kiss, his hips grinding against yours, his need for you growing more urgent.

he broke the kiss, his mouth trailing down your neck once more. his teeth nipped at the sensitive skin, making you gasp and arch your back. his hands were everywhere, touching and squeezing all the right spots, leaving you feeling like a bundle of nerves on fire.

alex made his way down your body, his lips and tongue worshiping every inch of your skin. his hands continued to roam, caressing and massaging your body. you were a trembling mess, your mind clouded with pleasure, your body surrendering completely to his touch.

he reached the hem of your pants, his fingers toying with the waistband. he looked up at you, his eyes dark and questioning, asking for permission. you nodded, unable to form words, feeling a rush of anticipation.

alex wasted no time, his fingers quickly unbuttoning your pants and sliding them down your legs, discarding them on the floor. he ran his hands back up your legs, his touch soft as he caressed your thighs.

he settled between your legs, his fingers tracing the edge of your panties, the thin fabric separating his touch from your most intimate parts. you whimpered, your hips arching towards him, trying to find some relief from the growing tension inside you.

alex chuckled, his breath warm against your skin. "so impatient." he murmured, his fingers now delving beneath the fabric, slowly exploring the sensitive flesh underneath. you sucked in a breath, your hand coming up to muffle the moan that escaped your lips.

alex continued his torturous teasing, his fingers dancing along the edges of where you desperately wanted him. his lips returned to your neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses as he slowly unraveled you.

you were a writhing mess under his touch, your body begging for something. you could feel the pleasure building, a coiled tension gathering in your core. you clung onto him, your nails digging into his back as you tried to muffle you moans.

alex finally took mercy on you, his fingers finally moving your panties to the side and attaching his fingers to where you needed them most. you gasped, your body arching off the bed as his touch ignited a fire inside you. his mouth found yours, capturing your moans greedily.

his fingers started moving, his touch bringing you closer and closer to the edge. you were a trembling mess, your body responding to his every touch. his tongue tangled with yours, your moans getting lost in his mouth.

alex changed the angle of his hand slightly, his fingers hitting a spot that made you see stars. you gasped, your body tensing as the pleasure shot through you like electricity. you broke away from the kiss, your head falling back onto the pillow as you gasped for air.

"alex, i-" you started to say, but the words were cut off by another moan as he curled his fingers in just the right way. your thoughts were scattered, your mind reeling as the pleasure built and built, growing stronger and stronger.

"shh, i know." alex murmured, his fingers continuing their relentless pace. "let go." he commanded, his mouth now trailing kisses down your neck once more.

his words pushed you over the edge, and you let go, your body shuddering as the waves of pleasure crashed over you. you cried out, your hands grasping at the sheets, your mind filled with nothing but white-hot ecstasy.

alex slowed his movements, helping you ride out the aftershocks of your climax. he kissed your neck, your shoulders, mumbling soft words of praise into your skin.

you laid there, panting and trembling, your body slowly coming back down to earth. alex's hands continued to move over your skin, caressing and soothing your hypersensitive body.

he moved back up, hovering above you once more. he was a mess himself, his hair tousled and his eyes dark and intense. he lowered his forehead to yours, his breath mingling with yours as he tried to regain his own composure.

you were still catching your breath when you felt him pressing against you, signaling his need. you looked up at him, his eyes searching yours, asking a silent question. you nodded, your body already responding to his touch.

alex groaned, his eyes closing briefly as he felt your response. he reached between you, fumbling with his own pants for a moment before he was finally free. he looked down at you, his eyes filled with need.

he captured your lips in a deep, passionate kiss as he settled between your thighs. you felt him pressing against your entrance, the feeling making you gasp into the kiss. he slowly pushed inside you, drawing out an unrestrained moan from you.

he let out a low growl, his body shuddering as he slowly filled you. you wrapped your legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer, deeper. your hands dug into his back, your nails leaving imprints on his skin.

alex pulled back a bit, needing a moment to collect himself. he looked down at you, his eyes burning with desire. he reached out and pushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch surprisingly gentle given the intensity of the moment.

"you okay?" he asked, his voice rough. you nodded, feeling the last remnants of trepidation draining from you, leaving only a deep, primal need. you wanted him, all of him.

"good." alex said, his voice a low rumble. he began to move then, slowly at first, his hips rolling against yours. you threw your head back, a gasp escaping you as he filled you in a way that made you feel complete.

he set a slow, steady pace, each movement calculated and precise. his mouth found your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin, his lips leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses in their path.

you moved with him, your body instinctively matching his rhythm. your fingers dug into his hair and shoulders, needing something to hold onto as the pleasure coiled deep within you once again.

alex's movements grew more urgent, his thrusts getting harder and faster. he was losing his control, his body taking over. he let out a soft string of curses, his mouth now nipping at your earlobe.

you were close again, the building pleasure threatening to overwhelm you. you tightened your legs around his waist, trying to pull him deeper, wanting him to fill you completely. alex groaned at the change in angle, his breath ragged and uneven.

"i'm not gonna last much longer." he confessed, his voice hoarse. "i need you to-" he started to say, but was cut off by a low moan as he hit that spot inside you that made you see stars.

"alex-" you managed to gasp out, your voice trembling. "i'm close. so close." you weren't even sure if your words were coherent, but he seemed to understand, as his hand slid down between your bodies and found that sensitive bundle of nerves. his thumb started making small circles on you, the added stimulation almost too much. you shuddered, your body coiling tight as you neared the edge.

"let go for me." alex breathed, his words a broken gasp as he continued to move inside you. "let go, i got you."

his words broke the dam, and you came undone, your body shuddering against his as the pleasure tore through you. you cried out, your nails digging into his skin, your mind wiped clean of any thought save for the overwhelming ecstasy coursing through you.

alex followed after you, his thrusts becoming erratic and uneven as he found his own release. he let out a guttural moan, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he came. his body pressed against you, his weight pinning you to the bed as you both rode out the after shudders of pleasure. both of you were panting, your bodies slick with sweat. alex slowly lifted his head, his eyes hazy and satisfied as he looked down at you.

a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, his expression tender. he reached up and pushed some damp hair away from your forehead, his touch gentle and affectionate. "you're amazing." he breathed, his voice thick with emotion. "absolutely amazing.

you smiled up at him, feeling a wave of affection wash over you. you reached out and traced your fingers along his jawline, feeling the stubble scratching softly against your skin. "you're not so bad yourself." you teased, your voice still breathless.

alex chuckled, the sound sending a ripple of happiness through you. he rolled off of you, collapsing onto the bed beside you. he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you and holding you tightly against his chest.

you snuggled closer, relishing in the feeling of being cocooned in his arms. you could hear the steady beat of his heart, the soft rise and fall of his chest. you placed your hand over his heart, feeling the steady rhythm against your palm.

alex pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his hand drawing lazy circles on your back. you both laid there, silently basking in each other's presence. the room was filled with a comfortable silence, the only sound the soft breathing of the other.

after a few moments, alex spoke, breaking the silence. "i could get used to this," he said, his voice still rough from exertion. "having you in my bed, in my arms."

you felt a flutter in your chest at his words, a warmth spreading through you. you looked up at him, seeing the soft smile on his face. "i could get used to it too," you confessed, your voice a whisper.

alex's smile grew, his eyes crinkling at the corners. he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch tender. "move in with me." he said, his voice softer than you had ever heard it before.

your heart skipped a beat, his words taking you completely by surprise. you pulled back slightly, looking up at him with wide eyes. "what?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

"move in with me," alex repeated, his eyes searching yours. "i want to wake up every morning with you in my bed. i want to come home from work and find you waiting for me. i want you to be the one to keep olivia company when im not here."

your mind was spinning, your thoughts a jumbled mess. move in with him? it was a big step, a huge commitment. but the thought of waking up beside him every day, sharing your life with him, it was incredibly tempting.

"alex, i-" you started to say, not sure how to form your thoughts into words.

but alex cut you off, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. "you don't have to decide right now," he said, his eyes filled with understanding. "take your time. just...think about it, okay? promise me you'll think about it."

you looked at him, his expression earnest, his eyes pleading. you could see the vulnerability behind his tough exterior. he was laying his heart on the line, asking you to consider a future together. how could you say no to that?

a/n: hi, happy halloween. sorry i haven’t posted in a while, i haven’t been in a writing mood and life’s been so crazy. hopefully i’ll be back into a regular routine of posting soon. love u all 🖤

#justallmyfantasies #alex turner x reader #alex turner #alex turner fic #alex turner fanfic #alex turner x fem!reader #alex turner x you #alex turner smut #dad!alex #happy halloween

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sgiandubh · 10 months ago

Note

What happened with Barbour ?

Dear Barbour Anon,

My favorite kind of Anon, even if I know the question has recently been asked again and not in this corner. Never mind, I think it's time to talk about it, too.

I bought my first Barbour (entry-level, so olive) Bedale wax jacket 25 years ago, from their (long gone, now) shop on Boulevard Raspail, in Paris. It was a mandatory clothing item to own if you wanted to properly mingle with the law school crowd (it still is) and it ended up being one of my most prized possessions, possibly a part of me. I still have it somewhere, back home. Two more followed, along with a fetishist array of shirts, scarves, beanies and even one of those sturdy crossbody bags you can fit half a house in. So you can imagine my absolute thrill when I found out, very very late, that S had had a rather substantial collaboration with them, from 2016 and until 2019.

I am very bad with timelines, as you probably know and possibly even cackle about, but still: S was appointed as the company's first ever Global Brand Ambassador on July 16, 2016. His mission statement was very precisely defined by the brand and for some reason we'll analyze a bit later, this is important:

(Source, heh: https://www.astonbourne.co.uk/is-barbour-a-luxury-brand-unraveling-the-mystique-of-classic-outerwear/).

A shirt and vest signature collection followed in 2017 and 2018, with the contract being renewed. Advertisement was absolutely gorgeous and designed to shape a very positive image, both for S and the brand. Last autumn's SS Gin promo retained some of that irresistible aesthetic DNA and I discussed it at length.

See for yourself, Anon. The fandom endlessly discussed the first long clip (with the chocolate labrador), but I have no idea if these two have been seen, let alone debated. If they did, let that be my nostalgic mistake.

Spring/Summer 2018:

youtube

Fall 2018:

youtube

And then disaster stroke, with S's trip to Ha-wa-wee 1.0, in the spring of 2019. A short reel, featuring a rather agglomerated boat trip, was posted on socials. Unfortunately for S, it also featured an allegedly horrifying scene involving the 'traditional' bludgeoning to death of a tuna fish. Emotions ensued and as it often happens here, they spun out of control. Many people, including some of the most vocal S haters, tagged Barbour in their diatribes, filled with environmentalist indignation. They suggested this guy (who did not participate to the savagery and I would be even unsure he realized what was going on) was, by no reasonable means, a proper 'embodiment of the brand's identity, values and aspirations' (remember that mission statement?).

Tone deaf as ever in the midst of a serious PR crisis, S put friendship above anything else, and publicly praised the boat's owner, calling him 'the heart and soul of the island', if I remember well. I still would like to think he has no idea what the hell exactly happened. And then, when somebody finally (August 2019) asked Barbour on Insta about their collaboration with S, they got this politely dry, but clear answer:

"We don't have any plans for a collaboration with SH in the near future" means, in my book and to my understanding, "we are never going to work with this guy again". Truly, some people in here who dare to give morality lessons to others, should be proud of themselves: they did it knowingly and in a very organized way, using multiple sock accounts, to give the impression of a collective retching reflex. To cut the story short, the dread of any ad campaign on this planet.

The effort was genuine. The result of that collaboration was very good. Take, for example, this somewhat heartbreaking customer review by an American guy who has no idea who SRH is and who bought one of those jackets from a Barbour factory warehouse, in 2021, with a hefty rebate (70% off). Clearly something Barbour wanted to get rid of at all costs - what a pity and really what a SHAME on all those hypocrites who will never admit to a public assassination by the book:

youtube

This time, I am absolutely not sorry for the length, Anon. This is something that still makes me boil. Unfairness and cheap nastiness simply disgust me.

(Thank you, sweetheart, for the screenshot, always. You know who you are 😘😘😘).

#anon #fandom #shitshow

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lqbeo · 1 year ago

Text

IN MY DREAMS ...

THIRTY TWO / The end

WARNINGS / angst WC / 1425

IN WHICH / You join the photography club to be with your crush, jeongin. But on the first day of the club you notice he wasn't there but instead his best friend, beomgyu, was.

Life was smooth sailing until it took an unexpected turn. Where did our daily exchanges of good morning and goodnight disappear to? Why did everything crumble away so suddenly? I honestly tried to move forward. But it's nearly impossible when every little thing triggers memories of him. From guitars to flannels to apples, I even gave up sipping smoothies and nibbling on straws simply because it reminded me of when he’d say, "Biting straws is not good for you."

Flashback —

I sat waiting in a cosy restaurant for the blind date that Yunjin and Chaewon had orchestrated for me. While I waited, I could hear those two friends chiming in through the phone. "Take this one seriously!" Chaewon's voice came through with an emphatic tone. "Yeah, don’t turn him down if he wants to see you again," Yunjin added, but I couldn't help but chuckle. You see, they'd arranged blind dates for me in the past, but I had always found a reason to bail.

"I won't bail this time, I promise," I assured them. "If I do, I owe you all tickets to the new Marvel movie." Their excited, almost childlike screams of anticipation came through the phone. "I'll catch up with you later, I think he's here." I hastily ended the call as I spotted a tall, handsome man taking the seat in front of me.

“Hi, I’m sorry I’m a little late” He muttered and I shook my head. “No, it’s totally fine” I reassured him, taking a sip of the coffee I'd ordered earlier. Awkward silence hung in the air, and I was starting to contemplate asking Jeongin to fake a phone call about a car accident. Thankfully, Beomgyu decided to break the silence.

“Oh uhm, I’m Beomgyu. Chae Beomgyu”

The smile on my face slowly dropped. God, all the memories came flooding back in. My first date with Jeongin when Beomgyu worked at that restaurant. The time we took pictures together during the school’s air show. Our kiss in the storage room when we were in Seoul. My eyes then swell up with tears. “Uh, I don’t really know how these blind dates would work” He chuckles but all I could do was start to whimper. I see the worried expression he displayed when I all of a sudden started crying. “Yujin? Are you okay?” My loud cries I guess gave him an answer.

End of flashback —

Be proud that, after a few years, I stopped those intrusive thoughts that seemed to bring him to mind at the most unexpected moments. I could finally watch someone play the guitar without superimposing Beomgyu's image over them. I wore flannels without having to pretend they were his favourite black and white one. I even got back to enjoying smoothies without feeling like I was trying to hold onto a memory, and I didn't shy away from biting the straws. Companies started using paper straws, but I stuck with it.

It has been a decade since Beomgyu disappeared, I became an artist and my newest painting found its place in the city's most prestigious museum. As I crossed the threshold into the museum, eager to lay eyes on my painting for the very first time, the entire gallery captivated me. Sculptures and paintings, each more remarkable than the last, beckoned me. Their artistry was a testament to human creativity and expression.

I got to the hallway that showcased my painting and it was the first thing you’d see. A small smile grew on my face, I was proud of myself. The painting was one of the pictures me and Beomgyu took during the airshow years ago. Painting that piece was a key moment of the process of moving on.

Wandering down the hallway, I chanced upon an unassuming door. My curiosity got the better of me, so I surveyed my surroundings before cautiously pushing the door open. What lay inside was a room filled with screens and digital artwork. It wasn't crowded, but a few visitors were scattered about, engrossed in the videos and artwork on display.

Across from me, I noticed another door, marked with a stern "do not enter" sign. My mischievous spirit from high school stirred within me, and I couldn't resist the temptation. I opened the door silently and peered inside.

Inside, a small vintage TV sat, its screen entirely black at first. Then, it began to glitch, displaying blurred images of people intermittently. Suddenly, the screen glitched again, revealing an image identical to the one I had painted. It then went black once more.

The screen glitched once more, this time revealing a photo of the apple tree that Beomgyu once took me to. Another picture quickly followed, and to my astonishment, it was an image of me, hissing at the camera.

Flashback —

“You are good at one thing," He remarked, you turn to face Beomgyu. “You paint, right? I haven't seen any of your works, but I'm sure they're lovely." You tried to suppress the smile that threatened to spread across your face, but the blood rushing to your cheeks gave you away. “Really?" Beomgyu snapped a picture of the trees, capturing a moment of natural beauty. “Mhm, you should show me one of your paintings, especially the one of Jeongin—"

“Ya! Quit teasing!" you playfully exclaimed, playfully hitting his head this time. Laughter escaped his lips as he pointed the camera at you. You hissed at the camera, unaware that he had already taken another picture.

End of flashback —

I have moved on, ask my friends and they will say the same thing. But moving on doesn’t mean forgetting every memory I had with him. The next picture was the video of Beomgyu I took during the airshow.

Flashback —

You get off track, your hand absent-mindedly turn to camera towards Jeongin. You admired him but you noticed Beomgyu swinging his arm around Jeongin’s shoulder. Again, you absent-mindedly turn the camera towards Beomgyu’s face instead. You stood still secretly watching how the frat boys interacted with one another. Until Beomgyu’s eyes catch sight of the camera that was pointed at him, resulting in him tilting his head.

End of flashback —

The screen turned black once more before showing a video of Beomgyu beside a young boy. “Look at the camera. '' He told the boy and my eyes started to water. I missed his voice. The little boy started speaking “Hi, Yn. Uhm..” I covered my face with my hands, trying to keep myself composed but obviously failing. “Have a happy new year” I heard Beomgyu whisper in the boy's ear.

“Happy new year”

“Say it with more passion like this, Have a happy new year!”

“Have a happy new year!” The boy said with more enthusiasm, making me laugh. I watched as Beomgyu gave the kid a high five. “Yes! Amazing.” Beomgyu complimented.

I began to recollect the memory of Beomgyu mentioning his younger brother. I suspected that the kid in the video was probably his brother. The joy they must have felt reuniting after many years was evident. His brother began speaking, "You know, the girl working with Beomgyu is really pretty—" Beomgyu swiftly silenced him by placing his hand over his mouth. His brother wriggled free from Beomgyu's grip and playfully proclaimed, "Mhm, it's true!" It brought a laugh from me.

Now, Beomgyu stood alone in the meadow under the night sky. The stars and the moon illuminated the scene. I observed as he took steps closer to the camera, bending down to fit the frame, ready to speak.

"I got out of bed just to show you this," he said, adjusting the camera to capture the moon and stars. Memories of our late-night drives and nights spent by the Han River, gazing at the sky, flooded my mind. Beomgyu continued,

“Uh, it's two in the morning in Korea, so you’re probably asleep. I know it’s about to be a year since we last saw each other but, hold one just a bit longer. I’ll come see you soon, because I just know that it’s not gonna be an amazing year if I don’t spend it with you”

Those were his final words before the screen faded to black. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. I was crying as intensely as I did on that blind date. I didn't care if someone found me; all I cared about was how Beomgyu could say those things but not come back. As I sobbed, I noticed the screen displaying:

In remembrance of Choi Beomgyu

(2001-2023)

MLIST / PREV

A/N: this is the end. Thank you so much for waiting. I apologise that it took too long. I started school again and everything just went chaotic. Anyways. Thank you so much for reading and I had a lot of fun creating this story. Thank you again for everything I love you guys saurrr much.

TAGLIST: @captivq @beomomb @flowerbe0m @rosenatorfirst @xtra-cheese @tya0 @catsyoon @woncheecks @ioszzn @kaeebtch @beoms-sugar @kaewonie @huening-ly @aernx @yumilovesloona @i2lain @myknifeyourlife @xrvrqs @sandhyaaa-aa @belovedxiao @beomsbeanie @yeonboy @beomies-world @tyigerz @ahnneyong @luvsoobs @eggeutarteuu @idgyuaf @ajakaashi @tae-ology @ikyuzies @marshmelle @wasteofoxygenn ( taglist is open )

2023 © lqbeo

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dell-amor-te · 1 month ago

Text

“The Hare, the Crow, & the Unhappy Marriage”

Word Count: 5,906.

Warning(s): Spoilers for what’s been revealed in pre-released content, canon-typical combat depictions, no beta but I try my best.

Pairing: F!Rook x Lucanis Dellamorte.

Summary: Lucanis takes on a major contract and makes an acquaintance he’ll never forget. (Also known as “the Lucanis and Nöa pre-canon cringefail meetcute that won that poll forever ago that I finally finished.”)

🐦‍⬛ Read on ao3.

9:51, Dragon.

Minrathous, the Thalsian Estate.

“It was a lovely service, Magister Thalsian. A perfect coda for the loss of a titan of our empire. Worthy of a man of your father’s standing.”

She stood still and poised like a marble statue in the moonlight gardens, waiting for any sign of life from the younger man standing before her. His black-clad back remained affixed in her direction while he stared up at an actual, imposingly tall marble statue that was carved in his father’s image.

Larger than life, much like the now deliciously departed Festus Thalsian, Sr.

His living junior always seemed small next to his father, but the statue’s towering height made the discrepancy almost comical.

Once she was certain he would not answer to her first statement, she cleared her throat, making another: “I imagine, as the newly appointed representative of one of the Imperium’s oldest and most respected families, you must be feeling quite proud somewhere underneath your grief.”

A beat, a reconsidered addendum to follow, but not a misstep.

“Somewhere amidst all that grief, of course.”

Nothing still.

Now she was growing impatient.

Again, then.

“I—”

“What do you want, Magister Renata?”

“So formal, my lord.”

Zara smiled easily, taking the break in his silence as her invitation to come stand at his side in the looming presence of his father’s cold and impassive homage. He gave her a not-so-veiled look of derision before his face turned down once more, his tired eyes further fatigued by dark circles under them.

She took a chance to take a proper look at the statue. While the flesh and bone Festus was already ashes stuffed into a gauche urn and shoved on a mantle somewhere in the grand Thalsian estate, this monument would remain in the family’s private and labyrinthine gardens; his perpetual company would be the other members of the family tree who had been so honored.

Forever able to give his son those same withering glances he always had.

“He looks as proud as your father always did of you.” Zara lied smoothly.

“Again: what do you want, Zara?”

“Tut, tut, Festus. Is it so wrong to want to offer you my condolences in person?”

“It is when the funerary services were a private family affair.” His reply was as stiff yet spineless as his current stance.

“I almost married your uncle.”

“But you didn’t. How did you manage to secure an invitation?”

“Oh, I still see him every so often.”

Festus sighed haggardly.

“Really, I’m hurt, Festus.”

“And I’m still left wondering why you’re here. You must want something. You always do.”

Zara chuckled. “See, you do know me.” She said, though it brought Festus no pleasure to be so praised.

To wit, then.

“Your father’s death creates a power vacuum in the Magisterium that having a son and heir to take his seat will only quell for so long. Your father cast quite a large shadow.”

“And we all know I don’t have what’s needed to fill it.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” She chided with practiced gentleness.

Not here, anyway.

Zara clapped her hands together. “You are more than capable of rising to his heights, Festus. He and my father began their time in the Magisterium together, if you’ll recall. Neither one of them was anything more than we two are now when they began.”

Festus studied her with wariness, like she was an asp—a shining smile hiding fangs ready to strike. While she may have been missing the fangs, she certainly managed to hold the same venom and sharp tongue.

“True enough. But my father had exploits no other mage in our family could hope to replicate. So grand that they made up for his few shortcomings.”

Such as the fact that neither of the sons he produced were born Dreamers.

Zara closed the gap between them, heels clicking authoritatively against the cobblestone. “Then why not show our peers why you’re the heir to the Thalsian name?” She challenged.

“We all know why. It’s certainly not because of my own merit.” Festus snorted, looking to the memorial statue again for a moment.

“And why can’t it be?” Zara asked sharply, shoving one perfectly painted nail into his chest, right into his very heart. “Because you’re going to show them that you’re capable of righting even your unimpeachable father’s wrongs. What could be a finer tribute to his legacy?”

Festus’ brow twitched.

“I’ve had the pleasure of reading some of his notes on Dreamers and the ancient elves, you know.” Zara informed him. “He was onto something with those experiments of his. I know you know that—he mentioned you in his writings.”

“Yes, but if you’ve truly read them—and I won’t even question how—then you know he abandoned them.”

“Yes, because he lost his two prized lab rats. Or should I say lab rabbits?”

“You could say that. But it would be incredibly on the nose of you.” Festus’ own nose crinkled in distaste. “They weren’t just prized. You must have seen the records and ledgers, too. He almost bankrupted our family on purchasing hundreds of different brutes over the years. They were the only two who weren’t only viable, but exceptional.”

“Indeed. His golden goose and lucky rabbit. What’s the elven for that again?”

The younger mage’s spine stiffened with a sharp intake of breath.

“This is a moot point.” He said quickly. “The mother was killed by my father.”

“But the little rabbit escaped. Obviously.” Zara scoffed.

He scoffed right back.

“Come now, Festus, surely you don’t take me for a fool.” She crossed her arms, resolute. “Elves might not be rare in this city, much as we all like to pretend, but elves who bear those savage markings are rare indeed. And I doubt it’s a coincidence that this one goes by a moniker that happens to match the name your father gave her when he came into possession of her.”

Festus set his brow. He wouldn’t indulge her.

“Glower all you like, but I know you must be aware of her exploits.”

“Oh, and what makes you so confident?”

“Because the Magisterium won’t acknowledge what’s happened. A rogue rattus ran about, a runaway, stealing others property and setting it free? And no one can seem to catch her? And then she vanishes into thin air? You know as well as I how our colleagues love their gossip, and they won’t even dare to speak of her. They’re embarrassed.” She nodded. “Just as you keep quiet. Because you habor some sentiment for your lost pet.”

Festus’ cheeks burned red, catching as quickly as a wildfire from a firebolt gone awry.

“You’re hardly the first man in this city to get a little too attached to one of the family pets.”

“That’s quite the accusation to make without any sort of proof.”

“Is that right? Tell me, isn’t that locket you refuse to let leave your neck made of ironbark? Or am I mistaken?”

She, of course, was never mistaken.

Festus said nothing, confirming her suspicions without so much as uttering a single syllable.

“It has her portrait inside of it, no doubt.” Zara spoke in a disinterested tone, picking at one of her nails with another nail before strolling away from the statue.

She kept walking until she reached the balcony overlooking the rest of the gardens below, draping her back against the cool stone of the baluster, the cape attached to her gown lying tastefully of the smooth barrier. She smiled knowingly when she turned to find Festus close at heel, absently fiddling with the locket in question.

“You’re proposing I get her back and continue with my father’s plans.”

It wasn’t a question.

“This world needs Dreamers. More importantly, the Imperium needs Dreamers.” Zara mused, smiling as if he had missed his own joke. “And it should be the Imperium who brings them to life.” She heaved a dispassionate sigh. “It’s a pity that such pristine breeding must be tainted so by lesser, wild blood, but we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good of Tevinter.”

Festus met her at the balcony at last, his arm supporting him as he leaned in and considered her words. He never had managed to learn how to read her. She remained as lost to him as an esoteric tome from eras bygone and best left forgotten. And yet he couldn’t stop trying to understand.

If not an understanding, then at least to twist to his advantage.

“She may be persona non grata throughout the Imperium, but people will catch on if I or my men go hunting her bounty, no matter how we try to spin it. And then there will be no Dreamers. Do you intend to offer my men aid?”

“For the right price, of course, darling. And believe me, once payment is confirmed, I’ll happily use every tool in my arsenal to help you. In fact, I’ll have a new shiny toy soon enough, if all goes to plan. And once the blade’s been honed, I’m certain there won’t be anything standing between you and your little rabbit’s sweet reunion.”

“I’m sure that price tag must be hefty. I did mention my father’s spending habits nearly bankrupted our family, didn’t I?”

“Oh, but who can appraise the priceless gift of acclaim that will accompany being the man to reestablish the Dreamers in the bloodline of the First Dreamer himself?”

“You, I’m assuming. Or you think you can, anyway.”

“It’s a trifle, truly, in comparison to having your precious little—”

“Zara.”

She heaved a sigh. “My father has designs to marry me to some cadet branch from a particular family—one who has recently joined with those traitors, the Lucerni.” At Festus’ pointed look, she waved a dismissive hand. “He’s desperate, and he’ll see the contract through even to them for the sake of creating alliances. Unless someone can make a better offer, of course…”

“And you’re short of suitors.” Festus assumed.

“Not if a certain newly-minted magister puts in his bid. I hear he’ll be plagued with marriage offers come daybreak. And won’t all those pesky marriage interviews keep him from his true passion—his studies?”

It was a grim prospect, one the more introverted Festus didn’t relish.

Zara moved in closer, her breath warm against his cheeks as she whispered in his ear. “Besides, this potential Dreamer will need a more…tamed mother, won’t they? One who won’t ask questions or betray the existence of her sweet husband’s…” Her head bobbled as she considered the best phrasing. “Well…less-than-appropriate mistress?”

Festus hid his repulsion for the woman hanging on his arm under a thinly-veiled feint of consideration. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t thought of her everyday since her unfair escape from his family’s estate. Dark-bright eyes oft haunted his dreams. They haunted his waking hours, too. It was a lie he kept close to his chest.

What he wouldn’t give just for the chance of seeing her again…

“It’s traditional for my family to marry at the end of the year, during the holiday festivals.” He informed her. “Now, would you like to share this plan of yours with your fiancé?”

Zara smiled knowingly.

…

The memory played again and again in his mind.

I’ll never forgive you.

I understand.

Lucanis Dellamorte sighed.

The toes of his boots hung off the edge of the rooftop by mere centimeters.

Below him, the city of Minrathous danced at its full tilt. Lights of magical-illumination. Bursting pubs. Beggars in the gutter. Unaware of his presence, and yet Lucanis knew better than to let his guard drop. He certainly couldn't while he was here, not while he was in unfamiliar territory.

Vyrantium was one thing. Minrathous was another beast entirely.

But his target was here, and so he had come.

His target.

Zara Renata. Newlywed of Magister Festus Thalsian, the junior of a recently deceased father. A brave match that could see the Empire forward for generations with the heights they could reach together.

Unless Lucanis got to work, that is.

Little was known about the Thalsian family almost in spite of how well-known they were. What was known beyond their names and prestige was limited to what its members allowed outsiders to know. They were prideful, ever seeking more power and power beyond. This fact was likely not helped by their connection to the first recorded priest of Dumat. The lack of any other concrete information about the family as a whole—not to mention individual members—was frustrating for Lucanis.

He hadn’t been able to fill even a full page with what paltry intel he had been able to gather before journeying to Minrathous. In a perfect world, he would have had another week to do some more footwork, perhaps even a day or two to observe the Thalsian estate before he ever crossed the threshold.

But the world was not perfect, and Lucanis had not been consulted on setting a date for this particular wedding.

While the Thalsian family remained obfuscated, the Renata family was much more prone to chase the spotlight. They were a moderately affluent house, but this union would no doubt do wonders to elevate their standing in the Imperium.

The last time he had crashed a wedding, it had ended with the father-of-the-bride dead before Lucanis was mysteriously spirited away from the festivities.

Even as unfamiliar as Minrathous was to him, Lucanis was able to follow the interconnecting alleyways easily enough. A fancy manor in this city was much like a tree in a forest or sand on the beach, even with the special occasion being held at this household. Lucanis was able to find the Thalsian estate with little trouble, and without detection.

The serpentine crest wrought into the black-iron gate of the estate confirmed the proud owners of the home. Sneaking inside undetected amidst the sea of well-wishers and wedding guests was one of the easier maneuvers Lucanis had executed in his time as a Crow.

And so he found himself in much a similar position as the one he was in out on the streets, tucked up and out of the way on a makeshift perch. Rather than a seedy and rain-slicked rooftop, he found security behind a granite-carved serpent, an eave mounted high about the festivities below, stuck in an indefatigable vigil over the decorated and gilded ballroom.

He was charming in a disarming sort of way, Lucanis could see that much from his current vantage point.

The magister’s smile was ostentatious. It wanted your attention—no, demanded it. It was bright, flashy, like vibrant scales that warned potential prey of poison lurking in the body of a predator, just waiting for the one foolish enough to fall to its charms.

It certainly didn’t help that his looks would appeal to anyone.

“You’re sure it’s secured?” He asked with minimal movement of his lips—Lucanis just barely made out what he was saying to his new bride.

Zara Renata offered a much more practiced, poisonous smile as she made to meet her groom. “Of course, darling. She’s downstairs with the rest of the wedding presents.” She said, lip movements less covert than Festus’.

Festus stiffened then, but nodded with a certain eagerness that Lucanis found raising his hackles. The shine that overtook the magister’s eyes did nothing to set Lucanis at ease. There was a hunger—an affection, if it could truly be called that—that had been missing from every moment spent with his bride, even while he bound himself to her.

The bride herself, however, did not share Lucanis’ offense.

“I must admit, she’s prettier than I expected. I can almost see the appeal. Almost.” Zara told her newly-wedded husband, hooking her arm in his. “She shouted something at me in that blasted tongue of theirs. So uncouth.”

Surely they didn’t mean…

Lucanis cursed the magisters under his breath. Both of them—for good measure.

Though his mind immediately set to lecturing him, reminding him that he had a job to do and his window to do it and get out was closing with each step the couple took toward their marriage bed, his heart and legs rallied all the stronger. He left his serpentine perch with a soundless leap, heading into the first corridor he saw with a descending set of stairs, mindful of each step.

His gut lurched with each repetition in his ears of those words as they played over and over again in his mind.

Wedding presents. Wedding presents. Weddings presents.

He heard Illario’s words in his ears, too, ringing like a warning bell, tolling and warning him away from a course he was already on.

We’re not heroes, cousin.

Lucanis kept close to the ancient stone walls. For all the variations in façades, Tevinter homes above a certain degree of nobility and prestige all had similar layouts. Wine cellars often masked more nefarious rooms—holding cells. Often barely distinguishable from the house servants’ sleeping quarters, though they sported chains and shackles the quarters did not.

The sounds of the wedding party slipped away from him as he neared the false wall of casks, and a hushed conversation filled his ear instead. He knelt down behind the end of a row of casks that acted as the mouth to a slip of hallway leading to the unlit cells beyond.

His brow twitched as he listened in.

“Oh, hush, Strife! I’ll have us out of here in no time.”

“Didn’t you say those things were untested? What if you tip off the whole damn household?” A man’s deep cadence questioned.

Whoever he was, Lucanis could hear the years in his voice. The certainty was unusual, raising Lucanis’ eyebrow. Most caught up in the slave system of Tevinter didn’t sound so confident, especially if they had years under their belt.

“Please. I can hear the band playing from here, which means they might as well be deaf up there. Besides, the mister and missus should be making their way to the marriage bed by now. Now stand back, will you? Just in case.”

The second voice was distinctly feminine, sporting an accent that sounded slightly Nevarran to color her words. It was clear she was well-acquainted with the man she spoke with, given the familiarity in her tone.

In the low light of the pocket hall, Lucanis couldn’t quite make out what was happening, and he certainly didn’t come to terms with it until after it had happened. A bright flash of light—completely soundless—exploded into the air. Unprepared, Lucanis flinched away, pressing his forefinger and thumb into his eyes to alleviate the discomfort.

It took everything in him not to curse aloud.

Beyond the wall, the conversation continued.

“Ye of little faith.” The woman declared smugly. “I tell ya, people in this town are too obsessed with figuring out how to use magic to stop time, or turn it back, or how to manipulate people using their own blood. A little bit of creativity, and they’d actually be a threat.”

“It’s not little faith in you, brains. It’s little interest in having your old man turn me into a walking dead man if he finds out I let a Thalsian get hands on you. Again.”

“Good thing I’m going to kill Thalsian, then. Two Thalsian’s, now.” A pause. “You know that’s not what my father does, right?”

“Don’t try to explain it to me again, please. It’s weird.”

“Only in places that aren’t Nevarra.”

“Yeah, which is everywhere else in Thedas. Come on, let’s liberate our fellow man and get outta here.”

“After y—”

The pair went quiet.

While Lucanis blinked away the after effects of the shocking surprise, his vision still a colorful daze as though he had looked directly into the sun, a pair of thighs wrapped around his neck. The Crow cursed that time, shifting his focus on getting this unseen person off of him.

His hand instinctively went for one of the knees, hoping to disbalance and then sling his assailant off of him. Instead of loosening grip, their knees closed in, ankles locking for extra security.

He couldn’t catch his breath. If they had half a mind, no doubt they could twist their lower half and take his neck right along with them. At such an angle it would be unlikely to kill him, but he still didn’t relish the thought of a neck ache or the accompanying headache.

He just had to catch them by surprise.

And so Lucanis struggled to his feet, balancing precariously with the added weight on his shoulders.

And then he let himself fall backwards.

His piggybacker made a tactical decision to protect themself from injury—rather than keeping a hold on him and risk hurting their own back, their legs released his neck, allowing the attacker time needed to roll out into a safer position just before they both hit the marble floor.

“Bloody shem!” The woman’s voice was warm against his neck.

The woman from the cell, he saw now.

Before either of them could make another move, laughter echoed off the stony walls.

“Take it easy on the poor guy, Nöa.” A tall, muscled elven man, the owner of the male voice Lucanis had heard, chuckled amicably, standing over them in their entangled heap. “I don’t think he’s interested in hurting either of us.”

Lucanis said nothing, only offering an easy smirk in reply once his coughing subsided and allowed him to. He rubbed at his neck absently.

“Oh, forgive the mistake—I saw a figure in black and my brain assumed Thalsian guard.” The woman, Nöa, chuckled easily, offering him a hand up as soon as she was back on her feet.

Lucanis considered the outstretched gloved hand for a moment, before accepting.

“Sorry for trying to choke you, by the way.” She added quickly. “I usually buy people dinner before I start wrapping my thighs around their neck.”

“No, no. I don’t mind…”

Strife snorted, and despite the smug look on her face, the woman blushed. When he realized what he had said, Lucanis cleared his throat.

“Are you alright?” He asked instead.

“Hm? Oh. Fancy meeting a friendly here. You’re not to Festus’ tastes, so you must be a gift for the new madame of the house.”

“What? No. I came to help you.” He shook his head. “No.”

Actually, he had come to kill the new madame of the house and her new husband. But here he was. He could almost hear Illario berating him. It was a harmless enough lie, since he knew she was also keen on seeing the sun set on the world with two less magisters in it.

The woman put her hands on her hips, head cocking to the side as she studied him, rounding him like a surveyor. “Hm. You’re obviously not with the Shadow Dragons.”

Her left eye glinted with a mischievous light, its prosthetic partner seeming to reflect the same sentiment despite its inorganic nature.

“Neither are you. Obviously.” He said pointedly, standing straight up as she circled him.

“Oh, and that accent.” She all but crooned, leaning in closer when she rounded back to face him. “Antivan, right?” Conspiratorially, she posited: “I’d wager you’re a Crow, then, given your ensemble? I’ve always wanted to meet a Crow.”

Lucanis’ brow betrayed him by bunching up, belying his bemusement.

What in the Maker’s name is wrong with her?

Before he could do more than open his mouth, she raised a hand to keep him quiet.

His lips pursed.

A pair of Thalsian’s estate guards passed by, but now before the shorter woman had pulled into an alcove, her taller companion already back behind the wall. Lucanis would have protested, but his focus was squarely on the two guards.

The woman’s hand held him in place, pressed into his chest, before her eyes darted to him, then to the guards.

They were drunk, by the way they laughed and hung on one another—unaware. No doubt they had imbibed on their lord’s wedding wine. They didn’t even notice that the elves tucked within the cages held onto doors that were half-open and slowly, carefully closing.

“And then what did he say?”

“Well, he goes—”

Before the guard could finish their tale, Lucanis and the woman moved as one. They both closed the gap carefully. Just before they reached the pair, the woman muttered something—a spell—under her breath.

The pair quieted, then stilled. Lucanis prepared to end the guard on the left with a clean twist of his neck, but the woman stopped him. It was curiosity, not mercy, that stayed him. He watched as she put a rag to the man’s nose.

His eyes rolled back in his head, and then he crumpled to the floor.

She gestured for Lucanis to let go of his quarry, and she repeated the action with the rag.

“Yeah, just like that. Big, old breaths. Really take in those heady notes of felandaris.”

“It’s a paralytic, but I added in a little extra surprise.” Nöa told him. “They won’t remember a thing.” She folded the rag back into her breast pocket. “Totally harmless to the touch, but works a wonder once it’s inhaled.” She explained. “I don’t mind killing where it needs done. These guys are barely more than slaves to the powers that be, though. Might even be indentured.”

Lucanis hummed curtly. She was much more…exuberant…but the way she spoke of the chemical reminded him of Viago. While he could picture her with a similar deadpan, he couldn’t conjure up a Viago so lively, even in his imagination.

“Well, now that that’s settled, you can shake a leg” Nöa nodded her head toward her companion, the man she called Strife.

She stared at him expectantly.

“Me?” Lucanis had to keep his composure. “I don’t know Minrathous well enough to get them out of the city. You clearly do.” Lucanis said. He gestured toward the man with a sweeping arm.

“No can do. I have business here with Thalsian.”

“And I have business with Renata.”

“Alright, you two, that’s enough. This is getting a little too hot for my tastes.” Strife stepped in between them, separating them with his body.

“I assure you, you’re in no danger from me.” He looked from the elf to the shorter, somewhat elven woman. “The only one I’m here to kill a magister.”

“Well, so am I.” She insisted.

“Crows don’t abandon contracts.”

“He’s mine.”

There was so much conviction in her words that Lucanis found himself frozen.

“I’ll get them out of here.” Strife decided at last. “Nöa, do what you have to do—but if it comes to it, let ‘em take the Crow.” He smirked at Lucanis before turning back to his companion, staring her down seriously as his hand found her shoulder. “You get yourself out of here, that way I don’t have an angry necromancer using me for anatomy lessons because I let his daughter get herself nabbed.”

“Your skeletal structure would be very good for articulation lectures.” Nöa mused.

“See, that’s the kind of strange stuff you’ve gotta stop saying.” Despite his words, the man chuckled fondly. “I better be seeing you back at base.

“Jumper’s honor.” She signaled him off with a small wave before turning to Lucanis. “Shall we go ruin a marriage?”

Lucanis followed her, even if he couldn’t help but wonder what exactly he was following her into. He studied her as they slunk back up the stairs. There wasn’t a hint of tension in her shoulders. If it wasn’t for the surreptitious nature of their movements, he would have thought she belonged here.

“How do you know where to go?”

“Who says I do?” She teased.

“Your body.” He said.

“Ser, that implies you’re paying attention.” She hummed, pleased. “Like what you see?”

Lucanis didn’t answer, which made her laugh—quietly, mindful of their situation.

“Let’s just say I’ve spent more time in this house than I want to think about. Thalsian and his bride will be in his chamber. Which will be in the west halls. It’s a whole private suite—belonged to his father before he croaked.”

Lucanis said nothing, pausing when she reached back a hand, holding him in place. She barely reached her head around the end of the corridor leading back to the main ballroom. Then she swore under her breath.

“Venatori.” Nöa told him, turning around to face him with a thoughtful hum.

Her hand didn’t leave his chest.

“Wouldn’t that just ruin the good Magister Thalsian’s name if it got out.” Lucanis noted, raising an eyebrow at her.

She met his gaze. A wolfish, understanding smile struck her features.

“After you, my lady.”

Nöa hummed, pleased, before reaching down and pulling a simple dagger from her belt. It looked like little more than a letter-opener, but she held it with certainty.

“So, were you all invited, or are you the hired help for the night?”

“That mark on her face! It’s the Hare!” One of the agents cried.

“Well, fools! Do your duty. Just don’t kill her—Festus wants her alive.” He sneered, lips twitching. “No doubt he’d prefer her face untouched, too. Her pretty little friend is fair game, however.”

Lucanis glowered, readying his own choice weaponry. “I’ll go left.” He told Nöa, practically growling.

Nöa said nothing, setting to work on the right side of the small troop.

They worked quickly, methodically.

Whoever these Venatori agents were, the spellcasting couldn’t match either of their opponents for speed. Nöa had uttered spells and conjured fire before they could get out more than a syllable. Who she didn’t burn, she stabbed.

Lucanis, meanwhile, showed his foes what a Crow could do. They may as well have been a training exercise compared to contracts he had taken. Forfex came to mind at once, along with a slew of names he couldn’t remember.

“And then there was one.” Nöa said, panting slightly as she leveled her gaze at the magister before them.

“Magister Iranicanus.” The portly man bowed dramatically, unfazed by the efficiency with which his men had been dispatched.

Lucanis wondered if it was pride or sheer arrogance. With magisters, sometimes there was hardly a difference.

“Never heard of you.” Nöa said dryly, stalking toward him.

“How dare—”

With a muttered but committed spell, Nöa had the man frozen, though Lucanis couldn’t see any signs of frost or fractals on the man. She swaggered toward the magister, unfazed, surveying him with a critical glint in her eyes.

Then, she used that particular dagger from her belt to create a simple but deadly cut along the path of his carotid artery. It was precise. Almost surgical. There was no pleasure in it, only a sense of necessity.

Justice.

Within seconds, whatever magic she had used on the man disappeared, and he fell to his knees, then to the floor. Dead at her feet, bleeding freely even after life had left him. That blood trickled down the steps of the altar that had been used to bind two magisters earlier that evening. Now it acted as the resting place of another.

“Well, this was fun.” Nöa decided at last, smiling once again.

Lucanis blinked in surprise, stunned by the sudden feeling of her lips against his cheek for the briefest of moments. He stared at her, eyes wide and lips pursed.

She laughed, no doubt inspired by the look of shock on his face. “What? This poor altar deserved to see at least one proper kiss today. And I’d say you’ve more than earned it.”

“You call that fun?” He asked, still stupefied.

“Well…” She drawled out harmlessly. “At least a magister died today. Right?”

Lucanis sighed. “Now, what do we do about Renata and Thalsian? The whole household will be on alert now.”

“I—”

“Well, don’t just stand there! After her!”

“Like I said.” Lucanis said with absolutely no satisfaction in his voice.

He heard the woman speak in a language unfamiliar but not unknown to his ears: elven. If her tone was any proper indicator, she had cursed.

“Thalsian.”

She reached for a dagger tucked against her waist.

Lucanis grabbed her wrist, shaking his head firmly.

She waved her hand at the door, eyes wide and incredulous.

This was the whole point.

“It’s too public.” Lucanis hissed.

She huffed, frustrated.

“Come on, we need to go.”

“I thought Crows didn’t abandon contracts.”

“We don’t. But we retreat when we know it’s necessary. You can try again if you get out. Not so much if you get killed.”

They were both running out of time.

“Fine.” She grabbed his hand. “Come on, there’s a window with a trellis just up the grand staircase. He never locks it. We can get out through there.”

Lucanis didn’t argue—not with her plan and not with her authority over his hand.

They bounded up the stairs quickly. Nöa climbed into the deep sill of one of the overarching windows, unlatching it and pushing its heft frame open before giving Lucanis a hand up. He joined her, but not before the doors below opened with a resounding crash, tailed by the march of Thalsian guards.

“Hey, Crow. What are you doing?”

He looked over his shoulder, then back at her.

They would follow too easily if he didn’t buy her time.

“Hey, hey!”

He shut the window, ramming one of his daggers into the lock so she couldn’t pry it open. And slammed a fist against the outside of the window, horrified.

He offered her a small smile, and then he dropped out of the sill.

It didn’t take long for those rushing footsteps to reach him.

At least Illario hadn’t come with him, after all.

“Well, well, well…”

It wasn’t Thalsian who had come, after all.

“If it isn’t the Demon himself. This isn’t Vyranitum, you know.”

Lucanis froze, keeping his back to the witch he knew stood behind him.

First the attack on the ship, now this.

The magister ran her fingertip along his chin. “Hello, Master Dellamorte. I’ve been oh so eager to meet you. Seems like someone else gave you a warm greeting, too.”

Her fingertip traced upward to his cheek, removing lipstick red as blood. He knew the cut on his cheek was bleeding, but it took a moment for him to realize the witch now had access to his blood.

Access to him.

“Or was it a bitter farewell, hm?” Zara chuckled, the sound malicious and melodic. “You let the little beast escape. My husband will be disappointed, but, well…that’s not my problem.” She clicked her tongue. “But what to do with you, darling?”

He couldn’t move. Not his hands. Not his legs. He couldn’t lash out. The only thing left untouched by the tendrils of her blood magic was his eyes. She wanted to see his fear. But he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

“I do hope that little act of chivalry tasted sweet while it lasted, Master Dellamorte. And I do hope she was worth it. Though, I suppose one good turn deserves another. I won’t tell my husband she was here. Fair enough?”

Lucanis closed his eyes.

He thought of Illario, and of a summer spent chasing after pretended-wyverns in the mud.

And then he thought of nothing at all.

#Lucanis Dellamorte #Rook x Lucanis #DA4 #Dragon Age #DA:TV #Dragon Age spoilers #maybe #Samwise says stuff #Samwise writes stuff #Panöwen #Nöa notes #Lucanöwen #Lethal Attraction #morning reblog

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myveryownfanfiction · 10 months ago

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18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

request from @onedirectionlovers2014

request: So when Tony has to push the middle up towards the sky at the end of the movie and goes into space and blows that up, when he's calling pepper, that can be changed to the reader, the reader actually answers and hears everything so they're worried But the avengers bring Tony home afterwards and the reader basically takes care of him by feeding him and running him a bath

warnings: Avengers 1 spoilers, mention of death, Battle of New York, swearing

I raced back to New York as quickly as possible. Images of Tony flying through the wormhole played through my head as pieces of the phone call he made repeated themselves over and over again. When Happy could no longer get the car through the city safely, I told him to just meet me at Stark Tower when he could.

"He's going to be alright (Y/N)." Happy said, squeezing my shoulder before letting me take off in search of Tony. Police, SHIELD agents, and everyone in between gave me strange looks as I went racing through the city. I kept trying to call Tony but I didn't get a response. It wasn't until I tried calling Natasha that I felt like I was finally able to breath.

"He's alright. We're on our way to Stark Tower now." She said. "One last...back off Stark...no I'm not giving you...HEY!"

"(Y/N)?" Tony asked. I put a hand on my chest and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank fuck." I breathed out. Tony laughed on the other end. "Don't you ever do that again Anthony. You scared the crap out of me."

"I know. I'm sorry." Tony said softly. There was some teasing from Natasha in the background and I could hear Steve trying to keep the peace. "We're almost back at the tower. We got to grab Loki and then we're good. Thought about going out to try shawarma. Wanna join us?"

"No. And you're not going anywhere mister." I said. I could hear Tony gulp on the other end. "You are going to stay at the tower and wait for me. Then we are going to eat actual food and I am going to make sure you are alright." The line went silent for a second. "I saw you fall Tony. The suit powered down didn't it?" Silence. "Tony." I breathed out, looking up at the street sign. "Listen ETA ten minutes. I'll wait in the lobby. Come get me when its safe."

"Will do. Love you." Tony said before handing the phone back to Natasha. I hurried through the destruction to the tower. Fury was already there and ushered me in.

"I told Tony I'd wait here for him." I said. "What the fuck happened? Sending a nuke..."

"Security counsel." Fury said. "I was the only one who vetoed." I stared at him for a second before nodding. "(Y/N), you should know...and knowing Stark he won't tell you..."

"He called me. I know he went up. I know the suit powered down. That suit wasn't meant for space travel. Which is what I'm assuming he did." I said. Fury nodded.

"He was dead when he came down." I paused and looked away. "Rogers and Banner were with him. The Hulk actually. Thor too. But Rogers wouldn't have known the first thing to do and Thor was going to light Stark up to bring him back. Hulk did something and it brought him back." My eyes found Tony as he walked out of the elevator, Loki surrounded by the rest of the Avengers. "He's too proud to admit it, but he needs you. Especially now." I nodded.

"He was going to go out with the team for food. I'm making him stay in." I said. "Did someone look him over?" Fury shook his head. "Course not. Send someone up to the penthouse. Or what's left of it. Tony and I will meet them up there." Fury nodded once he saw Tony making his way over to us.

"Thank god you're safe." Tony breathed out as he hugged me. I hugged him back, finally feeling all the anxiety leave my body once he was back in my arms. "I'm so sorry for scaring you. I shouldn't have done that." Tony rubbed my arms as he pulled back.

"Called me?" I asked. "Or taken the missile up?" Tony dropped his gaze to my shoulders. "Because we both know that if you were faced with that possibility again, you wouldn't change a thing about how you handled it." Tony nodded and leaned in to bury his face in my neck. "Just make sure you have a better suit next time. One designed for wormhole based space travel." Tony let out a quiet laugh before pulling away to lead me back upstairs.

"Its kind of destroyed. But the bathroom still works. And the bedroom is fine." Tony rambled.

"We can rebuild. Its fine." I assured him. "I'm going to order food from that one Italian restaurant in Queens. Assuming its still there. We can have a bath while we wait for it." The doctor that Fury had sent up came into view and Tony paused. "But before all that, you are going to get checked out." He looked over at me with a frown. "Fury told me your heart stopped. You were dead Tony. Neither of us know what Hulk did but he brought you back. You owe Banner for that by the way. It was Rogers and Thor and we both know neither one of them would know the first thing about getting you out of that suit or the help you needed. So you are going to get looked over," I pointed a finger in Tony's face. "And I am going to assess the damage to our private area. Then we are taking a bath and eating and going to bed." I patted Tony's shoulder as the doctor came over before walking away to see if we would need to get a hotel for the night.

#tony stark #tony stark fanfic #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark fanfiction #robert downey jr #robert downey jr x reader #robert downey jr fanfic #robert downey jr fanfiction #robert downey jr imagine #iron man #iron man x reader #iron man fanfic #iron man fanfiction #iron man imagine

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panzershrike-pretz · 1 year ago

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Lanterns

Part 1

Disclaimer: This is a original short story based on my original characters' adventures in my own fictional universe.

Summary: A Goddess who lost her faith, trying to get back to her senses so her family doesn't fall apart.

Warnings: small depiction of injury,

Tag list: @malarkgirlypop, @bucky32557038ww2 (if you want in or out, just tell me!)

-> Image below found here.

It has been more than a month since the ship left it's last port, crashing through the waves as the storm raged in it's wake. It was dark and only some sillouetes could be seen, running around - pulling ropes and chains, trying to get her on her way.

The barks that could be heard from down below as stuff was thrown around by the shaking vessel were almost drowned in the thunder.

"It's alright, girl!", someone said, making Peggy stop for a moment and look over her shoulder. No, it's not alright! This thing is about to flip! If I bark loud enough, I might save us all!

A loud crack of lightning made the dog yelp, slipping on the floor as some water rushed down the stairs of the hatches. It could be properly closed if anyone really had payed attention - and now the stairs where slippery and the lower deck was filling up with salty waves.

Peggy felt her body crash against the side of the ship, but quickly got up again, trying to find balance while it swayed around. The rain was only getting worse.

Eventually, someone ran down, almost tripping and falling as he found refuge against the violent ocean. His eyes darted around the deck, almost scared - until he saw the dog protecting a ball of layers and more layers of cloth and blankets.

"Alright... it's alright... i'm..." he managed to get back on his feet, following the walls until he was with them. The man let himself sit, incapable of pushing Peggy away as she inspected him. "I'm alright, girl. I'm okay. Promise. I'm alive."

No, you aren't!, she huffed, staring into his eyes as if to say that. She could smell some blood from somewhere in his body - he maybe didn't notice, but she sure did. And began barking again, to call for some help.

"Oh, shush it, Peggy!", he said, but she couldn't care less. Instead of trying again, he ignored her and began unwraping the ball of blankets to reveal three of the cabin girls. "Brownyn, you ok?"

She was the oldest of the three and was tasked with taking care of them while the storm raged. Her eyes met his - and then she flinched when another set of barks went loose. "Yes, Mr. Heere" was all she said.

"E'ryone alright down here?", a woman came running down, heeding to her own dogs calls. "Miss Bruntley? Mr. Heere?"

She didn't really need an answer, as Peggy ran back to them and began sniffing the man until she stopped, pointing at something in his side. The woman, Pangey as she was called by the crew, immediatly made herself useful, stripping him of his dark blue cloak - and finding a blood stain in his white shirt underneath.

I knew it!, Peggy wagged her tail, proud of herself. Can I go out now, momma?

"Oh, it's ugly", he said, looking down - only now the pain seemed to set in. He thought it was only the bitting cold of the rain, not some injury.

"I've seen worse, Cap'n, ye'll be fine. 'Tis just some scratch. How'd ye get it?", as her hands worked, fast passed, her pink-ish eyes rose to meet his. Pangey didn't exactly need an answer - she knew the Captain had no clue either and everyone was falling over themselves upstairs. Could've been anything.

"By Gods, the sea is raging", he whispered, trying to take his mind out of the pain and cold.

"Well, ye're a God, sir", Pangey said as she got up, a small smile on her face. "Why won't ye stop it then?"

He had no answer. She knew as much as him that he wasn't in charge of the storms - it was that old harlot of a woman, Contance, playing her cards and joking with their lives.

"Ay, at least yer boyfriend ain't here", the Captain finally said as he got up, trying to hide a face of disconfort. "Mine are just up there fightin' ye ol' storm along with me crew. Feeling lucky yet, doc?"

"HOLY SHIT!", someone yelled, soaking wet as he entered the lower deck. "I'M SURE THE MIZZEN IS BROKEN! HOLY CRAP, IT'S A BIG GALE, THIS ONE"

"We can fix it later, is everyone alright? Are ye ok, darlin'?", Captain rushed to the other man, clebching his hand on his arm, making sure he was alive and well. "How's Michael?"

"I'm ok. He's ok. They all are. Well... in parts...", the green-eyed guy looked over at Pangey. "I'm sure Emma could use yer help".

She didn't waste anytime, nodding firmly before disappearing out into the storm again.

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#oops already started good #PEGGY'S HERE GUYS!!#oc #original story #🥨🪶

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your-divine-ribs · 8 months ago

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Ice Cold Part 6

Words: 1.9k

I forgot how much I hated Jason until I started posting this story again 😬

Ice Cold Masterlist Main Masterlist

"Oh my god Lyla! Are you alright?"

As soon as the door burst open Jen rushed over to me, gripping my shoulders and pushing me back, looking me over, inspecting me for any signs of damage.

All I could do was stand there, frozen into place, my eyes fixed on the window frame where Van had disappeared through only moments before. I supposed it must have looked like I was in shock. My mind in turmoil after going through some kind of horrific ordeal at the hands of my deadly captor. And I was in shock... but for a very different reason.

Jason rushed straight to the window, grasping the sides, ready to push himself through and take chase, and seeing this finally snapped me out of my trance.

"Jason!" I called urgently, and he hesitated, halfway through the window.

The words caught in my throat and I stumbled. "Errr... be... be careful..."

Jason raged something about 'bringing that fucker down' and then he launched himself through into the night, leaving me and Jen alone.

Shame washed over me as I realised that my automatic response to seeing Jason taking off after Van wasn't actually concern over my colleague's welfare. I'd pictured Van sprawled face down on the street, bleeding out with a bullet lodged in his back and the image had terrified me.

"What happened?" Jen asked. "Did he... did he..." She trailed off, her face screwed up like she was imagining something so appalling she couldn't verbalise it.

"I'm okay... he didn't hurt me," I reassured her and her immediate relief was evident, but then I saw her expression turn rapidly to something else. Bewilderment.

"So... what happened then? Why did he bring you here and lock you in?"

I opened my mouth, hesitated, shut it again, my mind buzzing frantically through possible scenarios, none of which seemed feasible.

Jen's mobile phone ringtone suddenly blared, interrupting us, and she answered the call immediately. "Jason!"

My heart was in my mouth as I listened to the one-sided conversation, but it soon became apparent that Jason had obviously lost Van and was now on his way back to the hotel. I found myself saying a silent prayer of thanks and relief inside my head, then instantly berated myself.

Whose side was I on exactly?

"Jen... I think I need to get back too. My head's spinning and I don't feel so good."

As soon as I got back to the confines of my hotel room I lost it. I curled up into a foetal position on the bed and the tears wracked my whole body. A million emotions tore through me like a hurricane. What the fuck was happening to me?

I replayed my confrontation with Van in my head, trying so desperately to focus on the fear I'd felt and the horror of the crimes he'd committed, but I couldn't get the look in his eyes out of my mind. Pure, unadulterated hunger. Not like he simply wanted me. Like he needed me. And I'd needed him right back.

My dreams that night were dark and full of horror and violence. I was eight years old again and scared. From my hiding place under the hotel room bed I could just make out my father's feet as he dashed about, securing doors and windows, shouting frantically down the phone about threat levels and information leaks and danger. Imminent danger.

My dad had tried to keep me sheltered from his life growing up, only giving me snippets of an insight into his work. I was proud that he was responsible for 'catching the bad men' and righting wrongs. To me he was some kind of superhero. Every time he'd take another trip to some far away city my mother would fret and this would only make me worry, but he'd scoop me up and sit me on his knee. "Don't worry pumpkin, daddy's out there just making the world a safer place for you and your mum."

But I wasn't naive. I quickly found out that the boogey men I heard stories about as a child weren't the monsters that supposedly lurked under my bed, or the shadows cast from the open wardrobe door late at night. They were very real. Bad men with guns and knives that stalked their prey against the nighttime landscape of the city.

My dream played like a movie from that fateful night, with me as the unwilling but captive audience, re-living the horror as I saw the black boots of my father's killer enter the room from my vantage point under the bed. I heard the harsh words and threats, the sounds of flesh striking flesh as blows were exchanged. And then I watched on in disbelief and terror as my dad slumped on to the floor right next to the bed, a huge yawning gash in his throat. His eyes meeting mine, a desperate plea in them for me to keep quiet, whilst I was forced to watch as the pool of blood widened and soaked into the carpet and the light gradually faded from his eyes. All I could do was lie silently and wait, looking into my father's dead staring eyes. Wait for his killer to find me, drag me kicking and screaming from my hiding place to meet the same fate. But it never happened. I'd lain there for hours, frozen with fear, a hand clamped over my own mouth to stifle the sobs that so desperately tried to burst free.

I was still there when the other agents on my dad's team found me the following morning. They fussed and they hugged me. My mother shut herself off from normal life whilst she grieved, leaving me to deal with my loss largely alone. I was sent for countless counselling and therapy sessions. But I didn't cry. Not once. I didn't need therapy. I made myself a promise that day. That I'd dedicate my life to purging the world of all the corruption, exact justice for all the lives taken in exchange for riches and power and greed. Rid the world of all the bad people who'd made killing their career. Evil men.

Men like Van.

A sharp rapping sound dragged me from the depths of my restless sleep and I welcomed the respite from my harrowing dreams.

I hurriedly entangled myself from the bedsheets, slipping my silk robe on over the underwear that I'd slept in that night and made my way over to the door, blinking the sleep from my eyes.

"Jason!" I was taken aback as my colleague barged past me, forcibly shouldering me out of the way. "What the hell?"

He whirled around as I shut the door behind him and I turned to face him uneasily. His usual smirk was wider than normal, almost sinister.

"Sleep well?" He sneered.

"Y... yeah... well... no, not really if I'm being honest," I stuttered. "I still feel a little shaken up from yesterday."

I watched as his smirk grew. "Oh really? You might fool everyone else Lyla, but you're not fooling me."

Sharp spikes of anxiety shot through me but I tried as best as I could to maintain a neutral expression. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play the innocent, it doesn't suit you. Now I know full well there's some weird kind of twisted shit going on with you and that sick fuck, and I want to know what it is."

"That's ridiculous! There's nothing going on! I don't know what the hell you're suggesting!" I used the outrage I felt at myself for the truth in his words to fuel my defensive lies.

Jason shook his head slowly, smugness oozing from every pore. "First he lets you go when he could have easily killed you, then he's fucking calling you up in your hotel room!" He let out an incredulous snort. "I read your report. You said you were in the bath at the time didn't you? Well before we flew out I went to scope out the empty apartment he was watching you from. Yeah... that's right... he was watching you. But I'm sure you knew that right? Probably put on a good show for him, didn't you?"

"Get fucked Jason, you don't know shit!" I cried, indignant.

"Well... it's no secret what you're into... there's always been plenty of rumours going round. Except they're not just rumours any more. Had a very interesting chat with Scott Parker who works with the London team..."

I mentally scrolled through my recent partners. Yeah, there were a fair few of them, and okay... I did have particular preferences... but what the fuck did that have to do with anyone else?

Hold on... Scott... fuck... scenes flashed through my mind like some x-rated BDSM film and I felt a deep flush rising in me, colouring my cheeks. He was one of the few guys who was actually on the same page as me sexually. Most guys were either mortified at my requests or completely turned off when I started making my demands.

"I don't know why you're so bloody obsessed with my sex life!" I shouted. "Is it because you're not getting any huh? I'm not surprised. What woman would willingly go near you, you fucking pervert!"

Jason's face twisted with anger into a vile sneer and he took a step closer until he was invading my personal space.

"You know what? You're nothing but a cheap slut! All those guys you plead with to rough you up, begging them to fucking choke you and slap you and shit? That's not normal! What's up? You got daddy issues? Want me to put you over my knee and give you a good hiding, eh? Bet you'd like that wouldn't you? I'll be your fucking daddy Lyla!"

As he spoke he stepped even closer still, spitting the words right into my face, making me flinch.

I reacted without thinking. My hand flew up and curled into a fist before it struck Jason's right cheek, knocking his head sideways. "You bastard!" I cried.

It wasn't the first time I'd got physical with Jason when he'd overstepped the boundaries. It normally put him right in his place. But he'd never gone this far before. And as he lifted his head, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth and fixing me with a look of contempt which made me suck in a breath, I knew something had changed.

He advanced on me even further, forcing me back against the bathroom door. I didn't react straight away, stunned temporarily, I just watched dumbstruck as Jason reached up a hand, letting his fingers run along the edge of my robe where it was crossed over my chest, his fingers lightly grazing the lace cup of my bra.

His voice dropped low as he spoke, and he was close enough for me to smell the sour stench of coffee on his breath. "You know, you'd better start being a lot nicer to me Lyla... if you don't want me going to Paul with my suspicions. I wonder what he'd think if he knew his golden girl was fucking a serial killer..."

I tensed, reviled at his touch, wanting to lash out at him but terrified of the consequences. Wondering if he was just calling my bluff, seeing how far he could push me.

What did he have to lose after all? Nothing.

And what did I have to lose? Everything.

Jason stepped back, looking me up and down with a disgusting kind of smug satisfaction at his newfound power over me.

"You've not heard the last of this..."

He left the room.

#ice cold #van mccann fanfic #au fanfic #vanfic

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fallenrayvens · 1 year ago

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Identity

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Day 2 Prompt for the @dadbastianweek2023

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A boy and a beast stood in front of a mirror, staring at the child who stared back at them. The sky, staring at the stars, staring at the sky.

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CONTEXT WARNINGS: O!Ciel’s original name is assumed to be “Sirius” here. | The context of this piece is drenched in a WIP of mine for a longfic in which O!Ciel shares his body as a vessel with Sebastian as opposed to having him serve as a human butler.

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The child in the mirror was not just a reflection of himself, but a phantom image of who he pretended to be, for the Fates had been feeling particularly cruel the day he was put inside the same womb as him.

And yet, just a moment moment ago, when he had caught himself saying “We have much to do tomorrow, so we should go to sleep.”, he meant him, the Earl, and the fiend who lived inside his head — which was foolish since Sebastian did not sleep, but also made him freeze in place because…

Who was we?

When had him grown so accustomed to sharing that mortal shell with the demon who was to one day devour his soul, that “we” was how he referred to himself? And who was this “himself” it had merged with, anyway?

Was it the weak and lonely child who cursed this world and denied God, the one he had chosen to leave behind? Was it the mask of the heir he had chosen to wear since that day? The strong-willed and proud noble who stood tall and didn’t bow to anyone?

…Had Ciel ever been like this mask he had built in his honor at all? — It brought tears to his eyes when he realized he didn’t know the answer to that question. That was the image he held of him, for sure, but both of them had been only ten. Did the boy he pretended to be even existed? And if he didn’t… did he? Did them?

“We shouldn’t worry ourselves with the tiniest things, my lord.” the low and melodic voice inside his head finally made itself known again, pulling him in to the present. A shadow hand emerging from behind the mirror cradled his face, but he knew it was coming from his own body, he could feel it too. “It will bring you no good to dwell on such details. It matters not to me who you were then, only who you are now.”

The boy in the mirror smirked at his brother, his foolish, naïve younger brother, as the shadows embraced him like a father would his own child, and he accepted.

How very strange was it, to feel like he was embracing himself, but also being embraced by another. “You are not the same either, Sebastian.” he declared, reaching for the shadow hand that held him so gently with his own tiny human hand. “You have changed, too.”

“I suppose I have.” He obliged, unable to lie by the bounds of their contract, though the crimson glow that came from the boy’s reflection suggested the demon was not up to the discussion.

He knew why.

He felt the beast’s conflict at the pit of his stomach whenever the boy reminded it that he was its prey. That at the end of their contract, it would have to claim its payment and abandon the name of his dog, that he was nothing but a rabbit being raised by a wolf.

They never again had a full conversation about that truth after he made it swear on bringing him his victory, after the Queen had given him his brother’s title and his family’s duties.

And although the version of Sebastian who looked like a soft-featured, elegant lean and tall butler existed only within their dream and headspace interactions, he sure had begun to sound more and more like Tanaka, and sometimes very much like Vincent.

“Let’s go to bed, young master.” the voice insisted again, this time blocking the vision of the mirror from the boy’s eyes by raising black shadowy smoke in front of the glass, forcing him to break the spell he had lured himself into. “Tomorrow is a busy day, and we can’t have you wasting precious sleeping hours having an existential crisis.”

“Fine.” the Earl rolled his eyes, finally giving in. “But we’re not done with this.” He shooed the shadow hands off his face, demanding one of them help him get up instead. It was comically confusing, as he did not know how exactly that worked, and neither did the demon care to explain it.

As he climbed upon his bed, wrapping his body with the thick blankets and closing his eyes, he heard the rustling of cloth, the blankets hugging him in a more tight manner, and felt a clawed but tender hand caress his gray-blue locks, the voice inside his head lulled him to sleep. “Good night, young master.”

He wanted to protest, to tell Sebastian to cut it out already, but he felt too heavy, too sleepy to do so. His brain felt tired from all the guilt, from all the thinking. So instead, he let Sirius, the boy he had once been, speak.

“G’night, ‘Bastian…”

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#dadbastianweekidentity #dadbastianweek2023 #o!ciel #kuroshitsuji #black butler #our ciel #sebastian michaelis #blackbutler #dadbastian #黒執事 #rayven caws #TEAV #Spotify #dadbastianweek

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tobiasdrake · 1 year ago

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The very last bauble. The very last hangout. As we move towards the conclusion to it all, we've heard from Vivia about what he wants us to bear in mind. Now it's time to hear what guidance Yakou has to offer us.

Oh, okay, we're gonna give him a pep talk. Disappointing to the very end, aren't you?

Really. We're really going to spend the last hangout yet again shilling the OTP that remains mired in the exact same place it was in way back in the Chapter 2 rooftop epilogue?

The answer, Yakou, is that it's not. Things are not going. There's been lots of blushing and lots of awkward pauses but nobody has said or done a single thing yet because writers despise romance despite how hard they try to inject it into their stories.

Ooh, Yuma doesn't know but that is a painful question.

*spit take* NOT SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT, FUCKING HELL.

God fucking dammit man. Even if you're making it up, "I was so great at cheating, you wouldn't even BELIEVE" is a terrible thing to make up. It doesn't need to be true to reflect poorly on your values.

I'm going straight back to the homunculus testing site so I can push you dipshit ass off a cliff.

This is the worst final hango--

Why was that Fubuki's final conversation topic!? Ew ew ew ew DX

This is the second-worst final hangout!

...wait.

Hold up.

Is he talking about actual kittens?

Or that, I suppose. Still, the way he chose to play this up has caused my opinion of him to nonetheless sink lower. It's not about whether he did or did not "three- or four-time". It's about the fact that he considers the image he tried to sell to be an admirable presentation of masculinity in the first place.

"LOL It's so cute how they'd get jealous whenever they'd find out about my other girlfriends!" This kind of casual misogyny is exactly the kind of behavior that makes me loathe "guy talk". Men will take one look at you, see a kindred bro, and then proceed to say the grossest shit to you with absolutely no filter whatsoever.

Too late, damage already done. There is no salvaging your reputation from here.

Now we're getting to the meat of it. I expected Yakou to give a counterargument to Vivia, but they seem to be on the same page.

Vivia asks, "Is it always right to reveal a cruel truth?"

Yakou says, "You need to put Kurumi's wellbeing first."

These both feel like things that are going to be important for Yuma to carry with him in the final confrontation with Makoto. Which is why the two baubles were put here.

It's not, and I hate that you think that. This exact mindset, that men only exist for women and nothing else, is a major contributing factor to toxic masculinity.

This conversation must be, like, right before Chapter 5. Yakou's getting ready to carry out Huesca's murder. That's why he's trying to connect with Yuma like this.

Yakou Furiou. I didn't think very highly of him when I met him. But then I got to know him and see new sides to his personality. And through that journey, I was able to learn that I was overestimating him and adjust my opinion even lower.

I don't like Yakou on a personal level. I don't hold his drinking or his grief against him. He's a damaged man who's been through some trauma. But he's also a frequent obstacle who has gross opinions and mostly gets in the way.

Nonetheless, I still stand behind him 100% in the murder of Dr. Huesca. Like I said before, I'm not fond of Yakou the Detective but I adore Yakou the Murderer. That we were all able to pull together and carry off the Crime of the Century to avenge Yakou's wife and assassinate the most well-guarded man in Kanai Ward?

Yeah. I'm proud of that. We did it. Huesca isn't Yakou's victim. He's our victim. We made this happen for Yakou and I have no regrets about it. I'd kill Huesca again if Yuma would let me. Shove him over that railing and let him be a malfunctioning immortal in a pit at the bottom of the secret lab.

Yakou isn't someone I would want to hang out with for an evening. But I'm glad he found his closure, even if this was the only way he could.

#master detective archives: rain code #drake plays rain code #yakou furio

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violetvelourr · 1 year ago

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How long I have been doing art

People occasionally ask me how long I’ve been drawing and that question gets me utterly confused 😅 um, probably since I remember myself?.. 😅

First of all, big reveal. I’m old. Much older than you probably ever guessed. Because I’ve been doing digital art since 2003, and I was not exactly a toddler at that point, he-he. Don’t ask me my age though – I’m still a lady and I consider it impolite 🤭 but that might actually answer the questions of many teenagers why I don’t particularly interact much 🙈

So anyways, now we have settled my “art career” span. But saying “I began doing digital art in 2003” – well… I don’t want to do that, because people will be like, “whoa, 20 years”?! And will freak out at such a prospect – 20 years to get to my level, which is, frankly speaking, far from professional. Not to mention that before digital art I also drew traditionally quite a bit.

But the main reason is because “doing digital art since 2003” does not equal “for 20 years”.

How about we revisit these years and look closer at my digital art journey? I can’t promise that I will recall everything 100% accurately, but I’ll do my best.

So around 2003-2004 I tried drawing in Photoshop for the first time. It was an image of a lion, and to be honest, to this day I’m hella proud of myself.

Yes, first attempt. Yes, I drew with a freaking mouse!

My second piece from the same year span is the “Dancer”. oh yes, the remakable hepatitis skin tone 🙈

To be honest, I don’t recall having a drawing tablet that long ago, I'm quite sure I got it only in 2008, but looking at it, despite its flaws, I can hardly believe I drew that using a mouse… I’m not sure, it’s a mystery. The Lion was definitely a mouse artwork.

From thereon I abandoned digital art for a while due to studying, then work, and finally online RPGs…

In 2008 I posted my first digital WIP after a 5 year break.

Oh my gosh... Remind me to never try realism again, clearly not my thing 🙈

I think I was trying to draw an avatar for myself, which doesn’t exactly justify drawing a woman aged probably around 40 🙈 I was not that old!! As far as I can see from my journal, that artwork crashed and only this snippet of it was what I had left. I think it’s for the good. I ended up commissioning the avatar from a proper artist, ha-ha…

Over the span of 2 months I posted 5 more digital art pieces, none of them ever completed actually 🙈 And yes, behold how ugly they are...

My ambitions were growing faster than my skills were improving. The piece with the couple with that naked girl is my special pain because I even attended a digital art course by an amazing artist I was really looking up to back then – Anry – to try and finish this piece, but I failed miserably. I was the only person in that course (5 day 12hr/day intense course) out of 15 people who came “just for fun” – the rest were pursuing a professional digital illustrator career.

This is what I left off with after that course.

In this collage you see on the left what I came with, the middle – what the teacher did after I explained my concept, and on the right – my attempt to take the piece to its final form. But I could never accept that the base was made for me and not by me...

It still grips my heart when I look at it because it was one of my greatest fails. I think that to die peacefully, I need to finish this artwork 😆 If anyone is curious about the story behind this artwork, I’ll post it separately.

Anyway, as I said, I didn’t reach my goal, was hugely disappointed in myself and dropped digital art in April 2008.

However, I came back 1.5 years later, in November 2009, when I got into anime 😂

I think that’s also when I first tried Paint Tool SAI. Up until March 2012, I uploaded roughly 20+/- digital artworks/WIPs. The quality was a bit inconsistent, but I was beginning to get the hang of it a bit, finally. Here are some of them (yeah, the span of the mood is extraordinary):

So, in 2.5 years – merely 20 artworks. Just to compare, in 2022 alone I made 75+ artworks, which doesn’t even include animations and stuff I considered to not be proper artworks.

So, my last artwork from that period was in March 2012 (the one with the winged dude blocking the way for the girl), after which I abandoned digital art again, for good this time. I actually thought - forever, to be honest.

I’m not sure what happened then. I guess I just lost my motivation, got over my fictional crushes, was depressed and not happy with myself…

Problem is that in reality, I don’t have any imagination at all. Part of the reason why I always suspected that despite being quite decent in drawing, I would never succeed as an artist, so I could only say that my dream was to draw for Disney. But I knew I never would. And I knew I can’t do original art. Fan arts – yes, subject to being highly inspired, a feeling similar to a crush. I was too dependent on the mood. But even so… my artworks never were particularly fancy or original, I admit it.

Part of the reason why I’m also so sensitive about AI now. I see people actually living my dream, and I'm so happy for them. Working as illustrators, having an income from what they create... And that is being stolen from them now. That’s why I will probably never accept AI.

Ugh, turned off the subject…

Anyway, as I said, I abandoned art in 2012 and only picked it back up in October 2021 because of Kakashi. 😆

If my math is correct, that’s a 9.5 year break. I have been going non-stop since October 2021, so I would say that my ongoing artistic journey lasts for almost 2 years now. The previous 2-year period with 20 artworks – I’m not really sure about the value of that. The previous 7 digital artworks – even more so.

If I had to sum up my entire digital art journey, – I would say it is around 5–6 years, but in reality probably won’t add up even to 3 years, because the 3 years adding up from a bit of 2003, a bit of 2008 and bits of 2009-2012 had me produce only around 30 artworks, a majority of which were never even completed.

My main progress happened between 2021 and now, so in the last 2 years. And to be honest, I understand that if I am to continue - this is only the beginning...

#my digital art journey #yeah if it wasn't for Kakashi I probably wouldn't be drawing now #Kakashi is literally the reason I got back into art #Kakashi for life #Kakashi #Naruto #thank you Kishi #artists on tumblr #art #illustration

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greer-morgan · 11 months ago

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Location: Morgan Family Home, District Ten Time: December, 105

"Last chance to run," Greer told Mahlon in a low voice, working for humor and failing before she slipped her hand into his with a squeeze-- a fruitless attempt to unload a little of the tension that held her body hostage. Of all the places in the world she'd ever pictured herself, back on the front porch of her parents' house was all the way at the bottom of the list. Why the fuck had she agreed to this again? And why had she dragged Mahlon into it? Actually, that one she did know. If Mahlon hadn't agreed to go with her, she never would've showed at all.

The invitation came about a week ago. Greer's youngest sister called, and when her name lit up Greer's phone, she couldn't help but think about Cal accusing her of shutting everyone out after she'd gone no-contact with her parents. So, she answered, and they talked for a while. They talked about school, and about Prairie, and finally, Avery-Kate made the request she'd been waiting to make for twenty minutes. And in a moment of weakness, Greer agreed, and now she was here, dragging Mahlon along to a family dinner with parents Greer had gone almost seven years without seeing, and had never planned to see again.

Greer didn't knock, knowing she'd lose her nerve if she had to stand and wait for someone to answer the door. Instead, she took a steadying breath and entered without waiting for permission. The Morgan family home didn't quite reach the size of the home Greer was given after winning the Games, but it dwarfed even the nicer homes of most of the district's residents. It was a mausoleum dedicated to perfection that had never existed. Exactly the same as she remembered it, there were portraits on the walls-- images of Greer with holes in her smile, dressed in frills and bows. The baby grand piano that Greer had learned to play on was still tucked neatly in a corner by the stairs. A black crown adorned with red jewels sat protected by a glass case in proud display on the mantle of the sitting room. She hadn't taken it when she left, didn't want it in her own home, but she hated to see it being used as a trophy here.

"Greer Mae," her mother's voice cooed, pulling Greer from her thoughts. "Avery-Kate said you were coming, but I just didn't believe it." Louise Morgan floated through the foyer, an unrelenting smile on her face. "Did you knock? I didn't even hear it." She hesitated just a beat too long for it to feel natural before she moved to hug Greer. The feeling was strange. Nothing about the hug was warm, and yet, Greer couldn't help but allow it, lean into it even, just a bit. They let go, but Louise hovered a moment longer, mapping her daughter's face in a way only a mother could-- taking stock of all the ways Greer looked older than the last time she'd seen her, and yet, comforted to find the glint of an expression Greer had made since she was a baby. Louise looked older too.

"You brought... a guest," Louise looked to Mahlon. "And of course, no one told me we'd need an extra plate." The words were pinched, but gave away no other signs of her frustration. "So much noise about shortages in the Capitol, but this shortage of manners has to be the worst of it," she tutted, giving Greer a pointed look. "I'm not sure how that happened, but there's plenty of food, so we'll get a plate fixed right up for you. I hope you came hungry," she told Mahlon before Greer cut in. "Mom, this is Mahlon. Mahlon, this is my mother."

@mxhlon

#unholy amount of exposition i am so sorry no need for length matching!#mahlon #leighton #ah134 #134

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jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka · 1 year ago

Text

Summer Crush

Hydrangeas

Part 3

Summary: Sam had been caught in the middle of a friendship triangle for years. The problem was it wasn’t a competition for you. No you actually had a secret crush on his other best friend, Danny. When the boys come home for the summer Sam gives you one word of advice, distance yourself from Danny.

Pairings: Danny Wagner x fem reader x Sam Kiszka *slash pairing

Warnings: 18+, NO minors!, sexual content, slash pairings, friends to lovers, kind of enemies to lovers, love triangles, drinking, talk of jealousy, potential threesomes, not going too into detail yet don’t want to spoil it but do be warned 🫣, if the part number is in italics then there’s spice

Word count: 5.1k, ok it just happened

As you exited the coliseum you were hit by the thawing feeling of the warm early summer air against your frozen skin. It was almost unbearably cold during the whole ceremony which had to be a crime in Detroit to keep everyone so cold after the weather had finally started to turn for the better. A steady breeze kept the hot beams manageable and you gripped onto your graduation cap to keep it from flying off even though you were sure (you counted to keep track) you had 30 bobby-pins in there to keep it secured.

You heard your parents calling your name from near the exit and followed with your eyes in the direction your ears were guiding you. You could make out the shadowy profile of your parents waving you down a few feet away, the sun behind them making it incredibly hard to see through more than a squint.

What you couldn’t make out as you started walking towards them, was the tall lanky figure situated just directly behind them.

“Look who’s here!” Your mom exclaimed in excitement.

Your eyes were finally able to focus as the image of your best friend was revealed.

“Sam?” You questioned just to make sure your eyes were not trying to fool you in a trick of the light.

“The one and only” he cracked a smile and held out his arms waiting for you to run forward and hug him, which you did.

“I thought you weren’t going to be able to make it?” You continued to wrap your head around how he was actually physically here right now hugging you back.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world” he spoke just directly above your ear where his nose was buried into your mess of heat pressed curls.

“Let’s get a picture of you two!” Your mom called out, barely tugging on your arm to get you to separate from Sam just enough to turn and snap a photo.

The wind picked up and both of your hair was blowing wildly but you didn’t care, your face was beaming with happiness as you watched your mom get her phone angle just right. She took a few shots then Sam turned his head towards yours, pressing his lips firmly against your cheek while she took one more.

“Ok I think I got it” she was proud of herself, and proud of her daughter, and you were glad it was finally over.

“So, where are we going to celebrate?” Sam questioned assumably as everyone had finished their mingling and congratulations.

“Let me call Stephen and see if he’s getting off work soon” you pulled out your phone and started to pull up his contact.

“Who’s Stephen again?” Sam pretended he didn’t know although you stopped what you were doing for a brief moment to shoot him a look just in case he wasn’t joking. “Your roommate, right!”

“My boyfriend” you corrected with a roll of your eyes and started the call, stepping away just a little bit while he answered and you spoke for a while.

“So why couldn’t Steve ditch work and make it to your graduation?” Sam shortened his name like not using every syllable would give him some sort of power over him who he hadn’t even met yet.

“Stephen” you corrected as you started to make your way to the parking lot that held your car, Sam in tow since he probably got a taxi to get here. “He doesn’t like Steve”.

“Well I don’t like Sammy” he replied.

“Shut up, yes you do” you reached a hand over and playfully pushed his shoulder.

“No that’s what you guys called me when we were kids, can’t you see that I’m a man now?”

“You look like a man who’s wearing women's pants” another playful stab, but that’s only because you knew Sam could take it. In fact he looked like he was enjoying the bantering back and forth like you used to tease each other all the time over the years.

“Hey, I’ve got to keep up appearances, you never know someone could recognize me out here”. You both looked around at the busy parking lot and absolutely no one was fazed by either of you.

You started stripping off your graduation robe when you reached your car, tossing it in the back seat before getting back to the actual conversation at hand. “Anyways, Stephen is up for a promotion so he couldn’t get the day off” you had convinced yourself you didn’t really care. Him getting this promotion would make life a whole lot easier for the both of you meaning not having a job lined up immediately after graduation wasn’t that big a deal. Stephen had taken care of you through your last years of college. He was a few years older than you so he had graduated and already gotten a job secured from a past internship. You were grateful for the opportunity to continue to focus on school and your projects but now you were definitely ready to get to work and start pulling your own weight.

“He’s going to meet us a Joe’s, it’s a popular spot for the local college kids, maybe you will meet someone your own age”.

“A bar?” He questioned with a scrunch of his nose. “I thought we’d go somewhere where I could drink too”.

“It’s not just a bar, they have a kitchen and a cafe of sorts” you tried to encourage him that he would still have fun

Joe’s was a pretty special place in your heart. When you got to Detroit you didn’t know anyone. It wasn’t until your first year roommates who were Detroit natives drug you out of the dorms to Joe’s that you started to open up and make new friends.

You ended up meeting Stephen at Joe’s. It was during his summer internship he had gone out with some colleagues the same night you and your friends were celebrating your birthday. When he overheard your friends ordering you birthday shots he took the opportunity to get you a drink as well, and from there your relationship was history.

Once at the bar Sam seemed to be a little uncharacteristically stand-offish while you introduced him to all of your college friends. It was almost like he hadn’t expected your life to have carried on without him while he was gone.

That didn’t last long though as the drinks came rolling in and the girls at your table got more and more interested in your friend he too started to flirt back with them.

You sat back and watched unamused as Sam taught your friends a drinking game where you bounce a coin off the table into a shot glass. They were amazed by his ability to make it every time, though he was far more sober than they were and you knew his brothers had been making him play that game with them for years now.

Just as you were about to shoot Stephen a text asked where he was at he snuck up from behind you, startling you as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head.

“So proud of your sweetheart!” He congratulated you as he came around to your front and leaned back over to place a long kiss on your lips this time.

You heard Sam clear his throat from behind him causing him to break the kiss to see who was intruding on his moment.

“Stephen this is Sam, Sam this is Stephen” you introduced the two officially. Your boyfriend extended a hand but Sam had already glided past him to your side.

“Well if it isn’t the lucky guy!” Sam exchanged a playful yet slightly targeted first few words.

“I am” Stephen stuffed his hands into his pockets since Sam had accidentally, or purposefully you weren’t sure, missed his offer to shake.

“Can I get you anything? Another drink, perhaps some water?” Stephen directed his attention back to you who was still working on the last drink someone had brought you.

“I’ll take a water” Sam spoke before you. Clearly he knew Stephen was talking to you but he included himself anyway.

“Alright then, two waters” he took one more glance at you, second guessing whether he should leave you there or not, but ultimately walked off towards the bar.

“What’s gotten into you? You’re acting strange” you looked up at Sam who was still standing to your side.

He cracked you a smile to show he was only messing around. “One of your friends gave me a few hits of her joint in the bathroom” Sam revealed how he had gotten his nerves from earlier to subside.

“Samuel Kiszka!” You whisper yelled at him but he only grinned wider before returning to his game across the table.

“And Danny lost his room key because they were in my pants so we had to sleep on the couches in the hotel lobby” Sam began to conclude his chaotic story while causing your friends at the table to erupt in laughter. You had heard that story plenty of times, but hearing Sam excited to tell it again still made you smile and listen intently.

As you were focused on listening you heard someone from behind you having a separate conversation of their own.

“I mean who does he think he is?” A guy spoke first then your heart dropped when you heard who he was talking to.

Stephen started his reply, “I’ve known her for three years, half of which I’ve been dating her, and I’ve never met the guy in person. Now he shows up out of nowhere” he scoffed at the end showing he clearly wasn’t enjoying Sam’s company as much as everyone else was.

You hadn’t even realized the little off conversation had made you so mad, but you swung your head around to face them. “Sam is my best friend” you reminded the two who now realized they had been talking a little too loud.

Sam immediately jumped up from his end of the table and came over to see what you were getting upset about.

“All I’m saying is he hasn’t bothered to visit you before, why has he decided to come now?” Stephen stood up as well to match Sam’s movements.

“You know he’s been busy” you shot back. Stephen knew all about Sam you hadn’t ever tried to keep your late night phone calls or backstage dressing room video tours a secret, so why was he acting like an ass about Sam being here now. “Regardless, Sam was here today, and that’s all that matters”. Stephen knew there was a second meaning to that remark, he knew underneath it all you were upset that he didn’t take time off from work to attend your ceremony, and he sighed at the face of having to apologize to you again for something he says wasn’t in his control.

“I think maybe I should head out” Sam peeped out in the middle of you staring down your boyfriend who refused to admit he could have tried harder.

You broke the eye contact to turn towards Sam, “What? Where are you going?”

“I was planning on getting some sketch hotel near the airport” he pulled his phone out to start looking for a room to book.

“Absolutely not, you’re staying with us” you informed him without taking a second to discuss it with Stephen first.

“We don’t have a second bedroom” Stephen tried reminding you but you were ignoring him at this point.

“I have a really early flight in the morning. I don’t want to bother you guys” Sam tried to decline but you weren’t taking no for an answer.

“I can take you to the airport in the morning, you can sleep on the couch” you had made up your mind and both of them knew tonight there was no use trying to argue with you so they both sucked up their animosity and the three of you made your way to the apartment.

Once you were home you were glad to get out of your dress and heels in favor of comfy pajama shorts and an old tee. Sam had honestly expected to stay at a hotel so he hadn’t brought anything to sleep in other than his boxers but you gave him some of Stephen's pants to wear while he was in the shower.

You headed to bed with Stephen but as soon as you were sure he was in deep sleep you snuck out of the bedroom to go bother Sam laying on your couch.

“Sam? Are you awake?” You called out in a hushed voice.

“Yea, I am” he replied, “not going to lie, your couch is kind of uncomfortable” he sat up and moved the blanket around so that it was stretched out across his shoulders. You took a seat next to him and he wrapped his arm with the blanket around your shoulders.

“I’m really glad you came” you told him again and he squeezed you a little in response. You didn’t want to ruin the moment, but ever since you had gotten home you had an uneasy feeling. A bottomless pit forming as your stomach fell. “When will I see you again?”

“It better be soon!” He replied trying to bring you out of your funky mood. “Maybe now that you're done with school you can come to some of our shows. You know we’re playing at Coachella this year right?”

“That sounds fun” you giggled, although you still had a lingering bad feeling. You looked around your dark apartment and felt nothing. You were so excited when you moved in with Stephen but you realized now that you were only reacting the way you thought he wanted you to. You thought moving in together was a little too rushed, but your increasingly busy schedules were keeping you and Stephen from seeing each other. At least this way you knew you could sleep in the same bed every night. Except now you weren’t in bed with Stephen, you were out here talking with Sam like time had never passed.

Sam continued to fantasize about you coming on tour with them, he told you about a few plans they had coming up and how his brothers would love to see you again soon as well. He even mentioned that Danny sometimes asked him about how you were. You hadn’t thought about Danny in a long time, and you felt kind of bad about it now that Sam had mentioned he’d asked about you.

You and Sam had ended up staying awake all night talking with each other, sometimes getting a little too loud and giggly, but never bothering Stephen sleeping in the bedroom.

When it came time to head to the airport you and Sam piled tirelessly into your car, watching the sunrise on the horizon as you drove him further away from you and back towards his life on the go.

You mentioned kidnapping him, taking the exit towards home to see your families instead of the way to the airport. He played along with you for the rest of the drive but ultimately you ended up at the signs that said departures, saying goodbye once more to the only person in the world you knew ever truly meant anything to you.

Your phone ringing woke you from your dream in the middle of the night.

Your eyes were still puffy from crying yourself to sleep so they stung and you had to furiously squint at the bright screen next to you.

If Sam was calling you were going to be pissed he woke you up. You were just barely able to make out the big numbers on the front of the screen. It was just after midnight.

Although you had only been asleep for about an hour and a half you still didn’t appreciate being woken up.

That was until you managed to read the name on the screen next. It wasn’t Sam calling to bother you, but Danny.

You sucked in a deep breath quickly and picked up the little rectangle device before you let the last ring come through. “Hello?”

“Did I wake you up?” A quiet and alluring voice came out the other end and you pressed the cool glass closer to your ear while you sat up in your bed.

“Yes, but I’m awake now” you replied with a clearer tone than the raspy and drowsy answer when you picked up.

“I was thinking about you so I couldn’t sleep” he revealed his reason for the late interruption. “I was hoping you would tell me more about this crush you mentioned” even over the phone, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“You would like that wouldn’t you?” Whether it was the late hour or something else you found that talking to him on the phone was easier than you imagined leaving you able to tease a little.

You heard a small chuckle, it sounded like he pulled away so you wouldn’t hear it clearly. “Yes I would, so tell me, when did it start?”

“Hmm, I don’t really know. It just sort of happened” you hummed into the phone trying to remember something to pinpoint the exact moment your gaze towards him turned from just one of the guys you hung out with to one that when you saw him made your heart flutter and your toes scrunch inside your shoes. “I guess it was in highschool” you finally admitted.

“Highschool?” He gasped at how long you had managed to keep your feelings hidden. His breath stressed a little as he decided whether or not he wanted to bring up this next bit “I’m kind of glad you didn’t say anything back then though. I’m not sure how I would have reacted. You were intimidating to me” he chuckled again, this time not turning away so you could hear every little inclination in his voice.

“Intimidating?” This came as a surprise to you, nothing about your highschool self would mark you as what you considered to be intimidating.

“The way you fit in so well with the Kiszkas. Jake has told me himself you’re one of the smartest people he knows, you can match Josh’s energy, not to mention Sam is mesmerized by you” if you couldn’t still hear the laugh in his voice then you might have taken his confession as one of jealousy, but instead you could tell he only meant to say he was inspired by you.

“That’s just because we’ve known each other for a long time. I practically grew up with them” you tried to take some of the illusion away since it really wasn’t that impressive to you.

Danny fell silent for a moment and you worried maybe you were being too convincing about there being nothing special about yourself. “Can I ask you a serious question?” He finally spoke again in a serious tone.

“Of course” you tried to hide the shakiness in your voice.

“You and Sam never-?” His voice trailed off again like he immediately regret trying to find that answer.

“Sam?” Although he didn’t complete his sentence it was obvious what he was trying to say “no, umm, Sam and I are just friends”.

“I see” he sounded like there was still more he wanted to say, but must have decided against it as he quickly changed the subject before you could try to question him in return.

“Can I take you to breakfast in the morning?”

“Oh, I have some work to do so if you don’t mind my laptop tagging along then sure” breakfast with Danny sounded lovely. You pictured the way the early morning sun would shine in his usually dark hair, illuminating and glorifying the true deep burnette that it was.

“I don’t mind at all, I’d love to see some of your work if you would show me”. You stopped to think if you had ever had a conversation with Danny about your career aspirations. Sam of course had heard all about it, and surely he might have in turn spoken about it to any of his other band mates. Now that your mind had wandered off to Sam you started to second guess if going on a date, if you could even call him asking you to breakfast a date, was a good idea.

“You know Sam was over really early today, I’ll have to come up with a good excuse for why I didn’t call him in the morning” you sighed into the phone.

“Sam was only up that early because he crashed with me the night after the party and I made him get up” Danny let drop in response.

“Ok that makes a lot more sense now” you replied and you both shared a soft laugh before both ends fell silent again, seemingly with nothing left to say to each other.

“Well, if your going to drag me out of bed tomorrow too then I better get back to sleep” you hated to be the one to end the call, but something told you if you didn’t soon then the two of you might accidentally stay up all night just listening to each other breathe on the other end.

“Good night” was all he said, your name trailing at the end with the sound of his exhale. He didn’t sound too excited to be letting you go either.

“Good night” you told him back and watched your screen stay illuminated with the call as you hesitated before hitting the red end call button.

The morning came quickly, but your newfound excitement for the day made it easy to get up and get ready. Before you had only expected to throw on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats or something comfy to get work done, but now that you were going out you decided to wear something a little cuter.

Danny had text you a meeting place, a little cafe in town that had a private patio in the back. When you arrived he was already there waiting for you.

“Good morning” he stood up to greet you, stealing a quick kiss on your cheek when he had you close in a hug. It was a satisfying feeling to have had the last thing and first thing he said to you good night and good morning.

Because you were the only two who chose the patio the waitress was quick to come by and take your orders. After she left you went ahead and got your laptop out to boot up.

“Sorry to get to work so soon, but I have to turn this in by noon”.

“No problem, what are we working on?” He took the chance to move his chair from where it was situated across the table over next to you so he could see what was on your screen as well.

Your laptop finally powered to life and opened up on your desktop screen saver of you and Sam at your graduation.

Your eyes glanced towards Danny as he obviously was taking in what he saw.

“I remember when Sam left to come see you here” Danny recalled his version of the story in the scene. “Josh was pissed” he chuckled a little bit at the mention of Josh like he could ever honestly be pissed. “We were going to Europe a few days after and he thought Sam wouldn’t make it back in time”.

“Well I’m glad he came anyways, it was good to see him” you couldn’t feel selfish about wanting your Sam time and before then it had been a few years since you had actually seen him in person instead of on a little FaceTime screen. He had been and still was your best friend, you didn’t think anything could change that fact.

“I’m glad he came too. You deserved someone to be there for you” His eyes shifted from the screen to you now which only reminded you that you were staring at him.

“Anyways” you quickly turned your attention back to what you were doing and fumbled with inserting your flash drive in the little slot at the side of the laptop.

Your food and drinks came out together and Danny watched mostly in silence as you worked. You stopped every few minutes to take a quick drink but was so enveloped in nearing the end of the project that you had barely touched your food.

“Here” Danny spoke up causing you to break focus for a moment. You turned towards him to see he was holding a forkful of food extended your way with his other hand hovering underneath prepared to catch any falling pieces.

“You don’t have to do that” you tried to reach over and grab the fork from him but he pulled it away quickly while still trying not to spill anything.

“Let me help” he was trying to ask you seriously but there was a joking tone in his voice and he had an amused smile spread wide across his lips.

You gave up easily, years of growing up with stubborn boys had made you pretty non-combative.

He successfully fed you the bite and waved his hand along for you to keep working. He kept the act up, although you continued to argue with him the next couple of times, by the end you were just accepting it.

“I think I’m just about finished” you spoke with the mouthful Danny just fed you.

He smiled again when you turned back to him. You were assuming he was glad you were done, but instead he reached over and used his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth. You brought your arm to your mouth and vigorously wiped it to make sure there wasn’t anything else left behind.

“You're fine it was just a little crumb” he laughed at your over exaggerated response.

“You could have just let me know” you replied, still trying to hide your flushed face.

“Next time I could lick it off” he leaned forward like he might still do it anyways.

“Ok that’s enough of that” you scooted your laptop to the side then slid your plate towards you and away from him.

“Why are you embarrassed?” He continued to taunt you like he wanted to see just how red he could get your cheeks to turn.

“We’re in public” you replied quickly as an excuse, he glanced around and there was still not another soul in sight. Even the waitress after the last few times she came to check on you not needing anything she had started to appear less and less.

He moved to the edge of his chair, leaning forward and placing an arm across the back of yours. “So you’re saying if we were in private I could lick your lips?” His voice was hushed but you heard it loud and clear, sending an electric jolt through your body grounding you there in your seat.

You took one more backward peak to make sure the waitress or anyone else wasn’t about to come through the door then grabbed the front of Danny’s shirt pulling him down into a kiss.

“That didn’t count” he forewarned you but still accepted the small win, letting your chair go and settling back into his. “So you finished your work?”

“This one is done, but I have a few more projects lined up for the summer.” You went ahead and repositioned your laptop again so he could see it since he seemed to still be interested. “I’ve been working on advertising for a few business promotions. It’s not really what I ultimately want to be doing but the more work I do my name can get passed around”. You shrugged, not expecting him to really be that intrigued.

“This is pretty good” he didn’t sound surprised, more like he was starting to think of something. “Do you have anything else you’ve worked on?” He asked and you shook your head yes, clicking the folder button at the bottom to show your flash drive was nearly full of completed work, works in progress, and personal designs. He pointed towards a certain piece you had been working on mostly for fun so it wasn’t completed but you opened it up for him anyways.

“Have you shown Josh any of this?” He asked as he studied the various designs in your portfolio.

“No? Why?” You questioned, not seeing how Josh had anything to do with your work.

“You should, we’ve been looking for a new tour manager. Josh wants to do a lot of crazy stuff” he huffed at the memory of Josh trying to explain his extravagant ideas to everyone.

“Tour manager?” You blinked at him in shock, “I don’t think I’m qualified for that”.

“Well, maybe not the manager, but you could definitely help us out!” He sounded so genuine and thrilled about the idea that it started to get you a little excited as well. You had yet to figure out where your next big career move would be so if this truly was an opportunity then you thought maybe you should give it a go.

“Alright, next time I see Josh I’ll show him” you agreed to do at least that and Danny took your hand in his, giving it a little encouraging squeeze.

Now that you weren’t expecting it the waitress came one more time to check on you.

“I can take the check” Danny finally asked her, signaling that you guys were finishing up.

“What’s next for you today?” You asked Danny as you started to pack up your stuff.

“Nothing really, just hanging out at home” he shrugged his shoulders. He had gotten so used to constantly moving from hotel to hotel, venue to venue, that sitting at home sounded so weird to him now, but he was going to take it while he had it.

“Sam and I are supposed to be going through his wardrobe or something like that” you tilted your eyebrows up to show how enthused you were about it.

“I could come by later tonight?” He offered, unsure if Sam would keep you preoccupied all day. On second thought Sam had a lot of clothes it most definitely could take all day.

“I’d like that” you accepted his offer to his surprise. “I’ll text you when I make it back home?”

“Okay, that sounds great to me” his smile was growing wider and he clasped his hands together in order to contain his eagerness.

“I’ll see you tonight then Danny” you stood up from your chair and swung your bags strap around your shoulder.

“Yeah, see you” he muttered out and watched you as you left the cafe to head towards Sam’s house.

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@jessicafg03

#greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van smut #danny wagner #sammy kiszka #sanny #sanny gvf #summer crush hydrangeas #gvf

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