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buckys-black-dress · 4 years ago

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a fine line, part three

a/n: okay. here we go. part three bitches. tbh i write these author’s notes before i start writing, which is why i also have one at the end of the chapter-- so idrk how many more parts this baby’s gonna have. also, tumblr fucked up and ate my first draft, so fuck you tumblr. but here we go! enjoy, again, thank you for reading/sharing/commenting/reblogging whatever etc etc. i love you all! <3 -ali

wc: 2.5k

You truly think that you’re going to throw up.

You haven’t moved out of your apartment since you came back from James’ apartment.

Your phone has been non-stop vibrating since you got off your phone call with Natasha, and she’s the only one you’ve kept updated on the situation. You told her she could... vaguely explain to Wanda and Carol what happened, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave your apartment.

You were a mess, to say the least.

Natasha had tried to come by to see if you were alright, but you couldn’t let her in. You were embarrassed. James kissed you, and he made you look like a fool. He thought he could make things better by kissing you, but every time you remembered what his lips felt like on yours, all you could feel was humiliation.

Did he think you were that easy? That if he kissed you and slept with you, that it would erase your past with him?

You didn’t know what to think, and it was eating you alive.

You usually knew. You knew how to think rationally, to think things through, and to make the right decision.

But now, you felt like you knew nothing.

And now, you have to show up to class next week and teach alongside the man who made you look like a joke.

On the other hand, James was quite literally losing his shit.

He felt like an idiot.

After he kissed you, he realized two things.

One, he was idiot.

And two, he liked you. A lot.

Well, it was more or less Steve that led him to both conclusions, but hey, he got there.

When he called Steve after you quite literally fled his apartment, he realized just how fucking stupid what he did was.

“Buck, you gotta see this from her perspective. For a year, you ridiculed her every chance you got, and all of a sudden you spring all this shit on her that you didn’t mean it, etcetera etcetera. And then you kiss her. She’s quiet, shy. I don’t talk to her about personal things much, but Nat knows. She trusts her, and she tells her about everything she’s been through. A week ago, she thought you hated her. You just humiliated her and made it look like she was easy, someone you could kiss and fuck and move past your history with her.” Steve spoke through the phone to his friend.

After listening to everything that Bucky said, Steve couldn’t understand just how stupid his friend was.

“I- I never meant for it to be like that. I do like her, a lot. And I feel like such an idiot for what I did before. She- After watching her sit in my house, after seeing her with Alpine, I just... I realized just how fucking wrong I was... And now she’s never gonna talk to me again.” Bucky realizes, and it hits him like a ton of bricks.

“Okay, you’re being dramatic, Buck. You guys still have to teach together next week. You just need to find a way to straighten things out with her by then, or else someone’s gonna report back to Fury that you two aren’t doing what you’re supposed to. And we all know that you don’t wanna be in trouble with him.” Steve continues to explain.

‘You’re right... But how do I even reach out to her? She’s not gonna answer a text or phone call, but I don’t think she would appreciate me just showing up where she lives... And I don’t even know where she lives.” He tells him, trying to think of any way to reach you.

“Well... I don’t how much I can help you from here. Just... be careful, Buck. Don’t end up doing more harm than good. Okay?” Steve carefully warns him.

“Yeah, I know, Steve.” Bucky tells him. “I gotta go, I’ll talk later man.” He concludes, promptly ending the call.

It’s Saturday, and Bucky’s panicking.

Why, you may ask?

Well, other than the fact that he made a dumpster fire out of his relationship with you, he singlehandedly made all of your friends who were staff at Avengers University hate him.

He’s spent the morning calling Natasha, who promptly picked up and hung up right after. Then Wanda, who didn’t even bother answering. Finally, Carol. Carol didn’t really give away much, but she did want to help.

Carol didn’t tell him which apartment you lived in.

But she did tell him what building you lived in.

“And why should I help you, Barnes?” Carol asked, well on her way to her meeting.

Bucky was running to catch up with her, clearly walking faster to avoid him.

“I- Listen, just, give me something. Natasha and Wanda ‘ve been avoiding me, and I know they’re not gonna help. I-I’m desperate.” Bucky practically begs, and Carol can’t say she’s not shocked.

“Well... how far are you willing to go?” She stops her walking and asks.

“I-I’ll do anything. Please, Danvers. I’ll buy you coffee for a week. Y-You can have my parking spot! Anything!” Bucky was ready to get on his knees if he needed to.

And that’s exactly what Carol wanted to see.

“Hmm... I don’t know... How do I know you’re actually sorry for what you’ve done?” She questions, nose in the air.

“Carol, I know I fucked up, alright? Steve and Sam can barely even look at me, Natasha and Wanda are ready to rip my head off on sight, and plus...” he paused, trying to lift the weight off his chest, “...plus, Y/N means a lot to me. And I know I acted like a goddamn idiot before, but it’s different now. I... I like her, a lot, and I never meant to hurt her. I... I need her to understand that.” Bucky was out of breath from his rant, and Carol squinted her eyes at him.

“I’m giving you one thing. You have to figure it out from there. Or else Y/N, Nat and Wanda would kill me.” The blonde says after a moment of silence. “She lives in the Livingston Towers. That’s all you get. I’m late to my meeting, bye.” She says, flipping her hair while strutting away.

Now, it’s Saturday morning and Bucky’s at the lobby of your building. Although it’s definitely not half as lavish as his own, it was still lovely. Warm, cozy. The man sitting at the desk watches him as he approaches his small desk, and Bucky looks pale as a ghost.

“H-Hi, I’m looking for someone who lives here?” He asks more than he says, making the man even more weary of him.

“Does this person know you’re coming to see them?” The young man asks dismissively.

“No, but uh, I was hoping I could see them anyways? I just need to know what apartment they’re in if you don’t mind-” Bucky speaks but is cut off short by the young man with the name tag that reads “Adam.”

“Listen, man, you’re not the first shmuck to show up here, begging me to let them up to see their ex that they ‘need to make it up to.’ If she’s not answering her phone when you call, maybe that’s a sign you need to let that shit go, dude.” Adam tells him, looking at his phone screen.

“Hey, kid, listen. She’s not my girlfriend, but I do need to make it up to her. I fucked up, but we’re colleagues, and we have a project that we’re supposed to work on starting tomorrow, but I don’t think she’s gonna show. I-I just... I need to see her. Please.” Bucky’s about to get on the ground, but instead another idea pops into his head.

Just as Adam’s about to dismiss him again, Bucky pulls out his wallet.

He pulls out a crisp $20 bill, slipping is across the counter.

“Please?” Bucky’s voice is hanging on by a thread.

“Fine, man, this girl better be worth it, I could lose my job-”

“Yeah, yeah, get on with it. Her name’s Y/N Y/L/N.” Bucky says, waiting for the boy to type in the name.

“She’s in 10C. Good luck, bro.” He says, sitting back lazily in his spinning chair.

“Thanks,” Bucky can barely say before he clicks the button to call the elevator, hopping in and pressing on the 10 button.

He finds your place with quick ease, but he stands there for a few seconds, pondering. If he knocks, will you even answer? If you know that it’s him, will you open the door? What if you’re out, what if you went to grab coffee or something for Lucy? What if-

And before he could think even further, the door swings wide open, shocking Bucky.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Your voice was hoarse, like you hadn’t used it in days.

You looked... horrible, to say the least. But James was glad he was even looking at you right now.

“I-I we need to talk. Please.” He says, hoping you’ll hear him out.” Just give me five minutes. I’ll leave after that.” He pleads.

Wordlessly, you walk away from the door, leaving him just standing in your doorframe. He assumes this means you’re agreeing to the five minutes.

“Well?” You say, sitting back down on your couch, waiting for James to plead his case.

“L-Listen. I... I can’t even begin to explain to you how fucking sorry I am. I’m a complete idiot for thinking that kissing you was going to fix everything between us, for making you feel like I was trying to embarrass you by kissing you. I just- in the moment I thought it could’ve been the right thing to do, but after it happened I realized just how dumb I was to think that. And you have every right to be upset with me. Also... we still have to do our lessons together starting tomorrow, and I just wanted to know that we could still work together.”

You sat in silence, petting Lucy who was curled up into your side. You held a mug of coffee in your hand, watching James intently.

“Also, how did you know I was here?” He asks, brows furrowed.

You snort at the question, shifting in place.

“Adam called me to warn me that a very persistent man was coming up, and that if I needed to escape to go out the fire escape or the storage closet and hide.” You say, giving no indication as to how you were feeling.

“He may be easily swayed, but he’s not a complete idiot. But you... you are a complete idiot.” You tell him.

Bucky’s chest tightens in an uncomfortable way, in a way that makes him want to throw up his breakfast.

“Did you just come here to see if I was still going to work with you?” You ask, waiting to see what he’ll say.

“Well, that wasn’t the whole reason. I needed to know that you were alright. I hurt you, and I understand that. I also don’t expect you to forgive me, but I need you to know that I know I fucked up. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it right away. And I’m even more sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough this past year. I guess...

I guess it was just my way, albeit childish, of coping with my feelings for you. When I first met you, I thought you were so beautiful, and I wanted to get to know you. But you were so quiet, and I just thought that was you rejecting me... So, I’m sorry. For everything Y/N.” James concludes. He stands up, moving towards your front door.

“James, wait.” Your meek voice rumbled out as you stood up.

“You... you did embarrass me. Borderline humiliated. You shouldn’t have acted that way with me, I’m worth more than that kind of behavior. That being said, I appreciate you coming here to try and work things through. I... I was so hurt. You hurt me so bad, James.” He opens his mouth to apologize yet again, but you shake your head, continuing.

“I liked you too. When I first met you, I thought you were so attractive. Intelligent, handsome, friendly. But then you started acting so... so different around me. I- I didn’t know what I’d done to make you so angry with me, enough to tear me down every chance you got. I was new, lost, fresh meat. But when you started saying those things, I was reconsidering my contract with AU. I appreciate the apology, but I’m going to need some time to process... whatever this is. Of course I’ll still do the lessons, but that doesn’t mean we’re buddy-buddy now, okay?” You finish.

He’s looking at you. It’s like there’s something more you want to say.

“I just... I- how do I know you’re for real? With all this, I mean. How do I know you’re really sorry?” You ask, finally letting it out, your voice crackling.

“Y/N... How about this; this week, while we teach together, let me make it up to you. Let me show you just how sorry I am, that I’ve really changed. Please, let me make it up to you.” Now, he’s literally on his knees in front of you.

Lo and behold, James Barnes. In front of you, on his knees. On the floor of your apartment.

“James, get up, please.” He promptly stands back up. “You have one week. One week to show me you’ve really changed, that you really mean what you’ve just told me. That’s all you get.” You tell him, staring at him.

“Okay. One week. I’m not gonna let you down, Y/N. I promise. You’re gonna see how sorry I am, I swear.” James says, slowly making his way out.

“Okay. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Barnes.” You say, holding the door, ready to shut it.

“Here I was, thinking we were on a first name basis.” He jokes, already outside.

“Watch it, Barnes.” You put extra emphasis on his last name, shutting the door as he steps into the elevator.

As you turn back into your house, you look at Lucy, who’s watching you with big eyes.

“What the hell is he gonna do, Luce?” You ask, plopping back down onto your couch and mindlessly turning on the TV again.

You couldn’t even pay attention to it, just thinking of what this week will bring.

a/n: ooookaayyyy hey yall! end of chapter check!! sorry this one was short, this week has been literally kicking my ass. i had 6 labs due for my anatomy class today. anywayssss.... what do we think bucky’s gonna conjure up for this week? lmk in the comments what you think !!! kk, love you, bye!

#bucky barnes fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #Bucky Barnes #college professor au #professor!bucky #prof!bucky x prof!reader #prof!bucky #a fine line

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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S5 Ep6: Joey Wheeler is on Fire, Yet Again

Came down with a little sickness-not the biggie, just a little sly guy. But I took some meds, I’m a little floaty, I’ve only been listening to baroque music all morning for some reason? And I hate baroque music usually? But I’ll leave it to bro to tell me if this is fluid enough.

Just so you know, these caps were kind of a hot mess for a while and some of them read like that Garfield in of hot eat the food comic until...today. So pls don’t judge me, Judge my damn DMV where no one was following Covid regulations because I’m pretty sure that’s where I got this damn cold.

We start off with Roland getting more attention than he ever has in his entire life. Like honestly, I don’t know what Roland’s job really is...but he’s got a very diverse set of very useless skills. One of which, is knowing how to announce sports games that aren’t really a sport, while those games he’s announcing slowly fall into chaos.

Anyway, Roland’s taking so long cherishing his sweet time before everything goes to hell, that he’s boring Joey, who’s kinda turned into a ball of stress in the waiting room.

A lot of this episode is us watching them watching Joey having a break down moment by moment, TBH.

(read more under the cut)

Yugi telling Joey to study his cards and straight up--what?

Like at this point they know what’s on the cards, right? Like there comes a point where even Yugioh cards have a finite amount of words and I’m just going to assume that like...Joey probably knows them all in his own deck, right?

(bro note: they have no limit on what they will put on a card)

Then again, maybe Yugi doesn’t know what “study” means?

Also, appreciate how some artist crosshatched the hell on Joey’s nose there and I zoomed out and ruined it.

Now for some reason every duelist is hanging out in the duel lodge, including our current arch-villain guy who’s brought a book. I want to know what book this guy even reads so no one could suspect he’s actually a hacker who uses computers. He’s reading romance, right? And I don’t think he’d even be into Twilight, I think he’s straight up into hard core Mom romance like a lame ass Nicholas Sparks over there reading “Dear John” for the millionth time because he is completely un-phased by anything else happening in this room.

Joey, our hero, just out there being an asshole for no reason.

After Tea is pushed into a locker or something screaming about her need for female friends (which she screamed in earshot of Rebecca again, who I figured was on friends terms with her after last episode...but I guess not) Leon hops up to remind us that we should be caring about the fact that his character exists.

And like, I love Leon’s hair color--that’s a good choice, and legit that is the color I tried to dye my hair at the beginning of the epidemic (it didn’t work PS, my hair cannot take dye for the life of it) but also like...he just kinda feels like a weak Rebecca as far as characters go. He’s young, he’s good at cards...I think he goes to a private school? That’s all I can think of about Leon.

He mostly just reminds us that the big prize of this tourney is to duel Yugi, who anyone could have dueled at any point even without the tournament.

On the way out of the...duel room? lounge? Area? Joey decides to like...make peace with Zigfried, and I gotta tell you, I kinda have to side with Zigfried, because Joey spent the last ten minutes being a freak in the dressing room/lounge/bathroom and at one point looked like he was going to hold the entire locker room in a stranglehold.

I would also want some space from Joey Wheeler, is what I’m saying.

After insulting Joey’s style (which honestly, Joey...has a style? He pops his collar, that’s his entire style.) Zigfried assures us that Joey’s gonna lose and like...

...probably, right? Just looking at the plausible direction this season will go.

Anyway, Joey is such a mess (which is the theme of the episode, that Joey needs to learn to chill in order to win at card games) that Rebecca is like “I understand if all of you leave me to go help our poor baby Joey.” And no one felt bad for her.

Mokuba comes over to tell everyone all of the Kaiba family secrets because Mokuba has no filter.

Seto has devoted himself to staring at a computer screen for the rest of this episode. I guess he’ll put their names into Google, realize that social media hasn’t been invented yet, and then just lie his head down on the desk and take a power nap until the tournament is over. Much like I did after taking Dayquil this afternoon.

I like how Seto dressed for success and then locked himself in the server room for most of this arc so far. Maybe he’s just...really tired, I dunno. I don’t really blame the guy, he’s had a hard time.

And then Yugi was like “DAMN IT MOKUBA, JUST ONCE CAN YOU NOT INVITE THE ILLUMINATI???”

And we had a weird scene where Yugi just started talking to the ghost and it was while he was talking to everyone else, and the show didn’t treat it like that’s a weird thing to do...but it was a weird thing to do.

This show does that sometimes, where I guess they imply that Yugi’s Pharaoh conversations are split second conversations but...they’re not, right?

Also this chick ain’t gone yet, and Mokuba is just failing at his entire job for not zeroing in on vibes coming off this chick like stinky cheeseman.

So listen.

Did the Kaibas make like 3 types of Blue Eyes Caboose to one up Noah? Because Noah made one choo choo dragon, and then Mokuba and Seto were like “how dare” and then made sure that everyone ride every single version of the blue eyes caboose just to see how proud of them they were.

How many months of troubleshooting was the train? Like how long in development did Seto and Mokuba spend on these? A lot right? Like most of the time?

I did not check the subs to see if Roland said Jumping or Champion but I like to believe that Roland thought it was a cool new name he gave him.

Then these guys all showed up.

Hey so...can we talk seating arrangements?

Tea decided not to sit next to Yugi after complaining about not spending time with him for like how many episodes? Or was it too awkward to sit on top of what was probably Pharaoh?

Or did Mokuba go like “please, Tea, I cannot sit next to the others because I’m pretty sure one is a mole that is about to go cray” and was Tea like “Good, I need female friends, these ones are driving me crazy!” and then was Mokuba like peering desperately over the edge of his self made dragon train prison realizing he has to listen to Tea complain about boys for the rest of his ride across molten lava?

Headcanons abound about this weird seating arrangement that the animators drew for the reasons they did...but reasons I cannot fully understand. That and the Dayquil is making me overfixate on random stuff.

And also, Tea is kind of the Kaiba’s security’s understudy. Just there to always protect Mokuba with her ass because she’s the strongest woman alive.

PS I missed the tumblr wars because at the time I was trying to like...run a proper business on blogger. When Blogger died and I jumped over here it was like a weird ruin where everyone was like “tumblr is the most toxic place alive” and...I’ve had a really nice time here, actually. Completely missed that civil war period and I have no regrets.

Now I was there for the Petz wars (warz, I guess) where people were very militant about Petz abuse (abuze?) where apparently people were using the spray bottle on their catz too much and people were very, very upset about it to the point that they were like campaigning about it on their angelfire websites with the most bizarre grassroots campaigns that I still recall, to this day because they were like...well they looked like this:

PLAPA. Not only am I 100% positive that only this one guy ever called this movement PLAPA, but I’m 100% positive that not only are Catz not real people, but also this wasn’t actually happening and we never had any proof that it was. Either way, if people knew or suspected that you hadn’t deleted the spray bottle from your game (which at the time I had no idea how to do because I was a wee child) they would basically assume you were on a one way road to being a mass murderer in real life.

In real life we were 7 years old so like...thanks?

But that’s the closest I got to toxicity and at the time I was too young to make an email account and actually converse with these people. I was just there to download their Petz hexes, and I already made a post about how wonderful and incredible Petz Hexing was.

And y’all, I heard, just now after a little deep dive into the Petz Abuse debacle (which yes, is on the wiki), that apparently, like gardening, Petz Hexing came back in a big way during the epidemic--and I have found an active Petz forum in this the year 2021. The only problem is that I no longer remember how to use old timey forums...and I think I’m locked out of seeing most of these threads (and like this forum is so old I think I have to send them a letter in the physical mail to apply). But, I’m pretty sure they’re hosting a picture contest for who’s dogz poses the best. And I’m pretty sure someone created a hexxed Pickle Rick. Or it’s a photoshop that was made to look like a hexxed Pickle Rick.

Dammit why did it have to be Pickle Rick? That’s not worth re-installing Petz and getting it to run on Windows 10...

Guys is this the Dayquil? Is this really happening? I feel like I’m losing my mind for so many reasons...

Anyway, speaking about useless hexing it’s about time that our villain did something that was actually dangerous, so Zigfried decided to install a new virus that does more than turn off the lights. (it still turns off lights)

the Spreadsheet Virus!

Confounded by the spreadsheet software, it...um...it does this:

Straight up how does Excel make a volcano erupt? Is that why I have to pay for Microsoft office now?

All this because Joey made fun of Zigfried’s naturally pink hair? Which is the most normal hair on this series outside of like...Tristan?

Hey guys...Joey’s fine, right? Like how many times has Joey been on fire? And once in an iron cage next to like...a Fire Golem?

Joey’s fine.

MAN I miss Fire Golem. He had a good mug.

And then we just kinda watch chaos go across the park, chaos that includes: Too many ghosts in the haunted mansion (which honestly--you’ll get your money’s worth, sounds great!), the Ferris wheel goes kinda fast and thus might accidentally be fun, the lights turn off at some concert stage that only had 2 people on it (so it might just be motion detector lights and not even a virus), and um...literal fire and magma are going to set Joey Wheeler on fire.

Just...one of these events does not seem like the others. In fact most of these things sound like good improvements to the park and they should just hire Zigfried at this point.

Roland puts down his microphone and jogs across the stage, about a mile through the audience bleachers, and into the staff lounge, to go and bother Seto Kaiba, who is in a room that has a hi-def classical painting copy-pasted on the wall and I can’t look away from it.

I almost did a Google search on this painting but then thought better about it. There’s like...a billion classical paintings that look exactly like this, and they wouldn’t use like a Monet, they would have to do something that’s harder to catch to avoid copyright issues (because yes, even old ass paintings have copyright issues, but no one tell NFT’s which are going to be so freakin screwed and was such a bad idea, that I can’t even start).

Anyway, I have no idea who it is and it is legitimately driving me up a wall, but I’m on too much meds to do the effort of putting it in a reverse google image search.

Plus, a reverse google image search would only pull up Seto Kaiba.

So Kaiba takes us on a little flashback to his weird ass past, a weird ass past that just...doesn’t follow any of the established timelines, but I assume was shortly after adoption but before Seto got into a phase where he wore his school outfit everywhere and tried to shove his MMO off onto his Dad as a business model.

Seto is like 8 for some reason. I don’t know why, they kinda drew him younger this season anyway, like maybe they got a lot of fan mail and realized “Hey I think we made the 16 yo boy too sexy?” And they just toned Seto the hell down. That, and it’s a different animation team, and maybe they looked at Seto’s character design and were like “we don’t get paid enough to draw this well.” So...since Seto actually looks like a teen again, I guess his 12 year old self has to look like he’s in Elementary school.

Also, I only recognized this, because at some point in S3 as I was roasting Noah Kaiba’s weird fashion:

I remember distinctly roasting that little bow tie. I don’t remember when I wrote it, I think there was a version of this outfit that was in color...but I don’t remember where.

Anyway, it’s not the same jacket...but man that’s kind of awkward, ya? Like the maid who dressed Mokuba deffo got fired?

He um.

Turned the lights off a little bit.

Guys this villain is like...

...why does he think lights are scary? Like look at little Seto here. The boy is already bored. Seto duels on the edges of cliffs...he doesn’t care about the freakin dark.

We had a guy who killed everyone on the planet last season, and this season we have a little fashion gremlin standing in the corner and flicking the light switch going “wooooo you never catch me!” and it’s like...

...I’m starting to think this guy isn’t a witch.

Like we’re at Episode 6, there’s still time for this guy to be a witch...but I really am starting to think this guy is just...straight up not a witch. It’s everything Seto wanted, a rival who isn’t a freakin magic person...and sets Joey only fake on fire instead literally on fire like last time...

and Seto is just completely unhinged by it.

Anyway, I’m off to go drink a bowl of soup and pass out. If you’re new here, this is a link to read these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#yugioh #yu gi oh #ygo #S5 #Ep6 #Yugi Muto #Seto Kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Tea Gardner #Tristan Taylor #Mokuba Kaiba #zigfried von schroeder #rebecca hawkins #I talked about catz again #leon #but not the kings of leon guy #I mean he could be

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lovelivingmydreams · 4 years ago

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The blame game

@sanderssides-secretsanta for @averykedavra

Rating: PG

Pairings: whatever you want. Any actions can be read as platonic or romantic I’m not telling you how to enjoy this fic. Aka I couldn't pic.

Hurt comfort

Triggers: hospital, injury, pain, burns, coma, mention of abduction

Summary: A couple of years ago people disappeared. And then months later they started showing up again. Some escaping, some being freed. No one knew what exactly went on in those months. All evidence was destroyed before answers could be found and the victims were unwilling to testify. Until one group, the first to break free, showed up when a building collapsed and used incredible abilities to save the day. They spoke out about what had happened, and swore themselves to serve and protect the public interest.

Time went on and now the victims that all had gained some type of power are accepted into society. The team is still doing what they can to save others and protect each other. This story takes place during what should've been a routine mission.

“We have to finish up. Under current circumstances we have 3.4 minutes until the building collapses.”

“I did a sweep, I didn’t hear anyone calling out and no heartbeats. Pat can you feel anyone?”

“No kiddo, it seems all clear on my end too.”

“Marvelous. Jan how is our cover holding up?”

“I’m fine Roman. I can hold it for a few more minutes.”

“Remus do you have yourself together?”

“All bits and pieces accounted for Bro! Though Jan can always check later to make sure.”

“And that’s enough. I’m taking you first.”

“Virgin! So forward!”

“If you upset him Remus, I swear to god!”

“Relax RoRo…”

…

“I’m back. Come on popstar. They are getting closer, we have to hurry.”

“Maybe take Lo first… If I’m too far I can’t…”

“It’s just for a minute Padre.”

The connection fell away. Indicating Virgil had indeed brought Patton out of range.

“Two more minutes,” Logan stated as he joined Janus at the street side of the shop they were hiding in.

“I am sooo glad the looters came to cause extra chaos. I was just thinking that evacuating the citizens from earthquake shaken buildings wasn’t enough of a challenge,” Janus grumbled annoyed.

“We shall deal with them once we are all outside,” Roman assured him as he too joined them.

“Next passenger please,” Virgil announced as he came to a halt right behind Roman, making him jump.

“Stop doing that!” he demanded.

“Only if you stop being funny when I do,” he teased while picking up Logan.

“This never seizes to be mildly embarrassing,” Logan huffed displeased. Being carried out bridal style by their youngest member was a little awkward for everyone. Well except for Remus. But he wasn’t bothered by anything. “Do you prefer a piggy back ride?” Virgil teased.

The circumstances that led to the formation of their team had been far from pleasant. Virgil especially still had nightmares and flashbacks. But they all enjoyed the power sets they were given. Though if they could choose they’d do without the trauma. The only thing they wouldn’t give up for that was each other.

“And you all secretly like being held,” Virgil insisted before taking off. Roman and Janus exchanged a glance wondering if Virgil was just teasing or if he actually could tell that they appreciated the rare opportunity to have Virgil actually welcome physical closeness.

They all were pretty close after everything. And any awkwardness about being emotionally vulnerable around one another had gone out the window long ago. Still Virgil felt the need to act tough to make them not worry about him. It didn't work, but he still tried.

“I better get going. I’m not fond of Logan’s ticking clock,” Roman stated.

“Yeah, I’ll give us a little more cover. V only needs 10 seconds to get me out anyway.” Jan didn’t want to risk the rioters seeing them now. There was no telling what they’d do.

Roman nodded and started to sprint to the exit.

Janus turned away, but then his heart stopped when he heard a crashing sound and a pained outcry.

“Roman!” Virgil gasped behind him.

“I’m fine, get J. I’ll-” Roman cut himself off with a loud curse.

“You hurt your ankle,” Virgil concluded. Janus looked back and watched as the young hero gathered Roman in his arms. “J I’ll be back for you soon okay?” He didn’t wait for an answer.

Janus considered just dropping the illusion of an empty trashed store with faulty wiring and make his way to the back to meet Virgil halfway. But the rioters were hot on their heels now. He couldn’t risk anyone following them. Not that anyone would be able to once Virgil had him. But if anyone was inside when the building gave out…

Suddenly something flew through a window. A flaming bottle? Janus could see it heading to an isle with cleaning products. He realized what was about to happen at the same time that he saw Virgil return and hesitate upon detecting something moving in his peripheral.

Janus acted without thinking. He dropped the illusion and tackled Virgil to the ground.

Janus moved to cover Virgil’s body with his own. There was an infinite fraction of a second of blinding pain. He never even registered the sound of the explosion. Just pain and then darkness.

He heard the murmuring and the zooming and beeping of machines. He felt disoriented. What happened…?

“Come on J. Please wake up,” Patton? He sounded like he’d been crying.

“Patton I… I don’t think…” Logan’s voice. Not quite as steady and certain as he normally sounded.

“Don’t finish that sentence! He has to wake up! I don’t know what we’re supposed to do if he… If he…” Patton started sobbing, the sounds muffled by something. That wasn’t right. Janus tried to open his eyes but it was hard.

“I can’t… We are supposed to stick together… and he… And then Virgil…”

Virgil? Suddenly Janus remembered. No. Virgil had to be fine. He made sure of that right?

Janus forced his eyes open and found Patton clinging to Logan’s frame on his right. Remus sitting uncharacteristically quiet and still behind them.

He blinked a few times. Something was off. His sight… And why did his face feel weird… Everything felt weird.

“Hi,” was all he was able to force out of his throat.

Remus perked up, Patton and Logan nearly jumped at the unexpected sound. All of them had bloodshot eyes. He’d expected as much from Patton. He was in a hospital and something was going on with Virgil. But it took a lot for Logan and Remus to cry.

“Janus,” Logan breathed as they all gathered at his bedside. Logan grabbed his hand to squeeze it. Janus squeezed back and felt Logan relax instantly.

“Wha…” Janus tried, hoping he managed to bring across the pleading tone he intended despite the pain in his throat keeping him from saying much.

“You’ve been unconscious for the past month. There were several operations and you have only been breathing on your own for the past 21 hours and 28 minutes.” That explained the pain in his throat.

“Pat? Eyes…” he asked. He was burned. He was no idiot. He just wanted to know how bad and Patton could show him.

“I don’t know Jan…” Patton bit his lip looking at Logan for help. Their academic friend nodded in agreement.

“There is… Someone like us on staff. We were to alert her once you’d awoken so she could heal you up some more. It is probably best not to distress you until she has,” Logan urged.

So it was really bad. “Call…” he managed. Maybe then he would be able to talk better afterwards.

“Very well…” Logan pressed a button.

“Re… V…” Remus didn’t do sugarcoating. He would tell him no matter how bad…

“Roman is watching the Emo. We’ll all go to see them together soon,” Remus murmured. Now Janus was getting really worried. What was going on? Remus was never this… restrained.

“Remus. We have all repetitively told you, you did not delay Virgil in any way,” Logan insisted sternly.

“Yeah Rem. None of us think you did anything wrong that day. And I’m sure Jan and V would agree.”

Wait, why hadn't. Virgil told him to stop moping yet? Why wasn’t he here? Why did he need someone to watch over him?

“I should have sat still. I knew we had little time left. Instead I made Virgil slow his step to make sure he didn't drop me.”

“We all delayed him in our own way Remus. It was a collection of circumstances. If anything, I should have taken the violent nature of the rioters into account and adjusted my timeframe accordingly.

We all relied too much on my prediction and…”

“Don’t you start that again. I could have tried to get a feel of the crowd and told you. Then you might've known there was a risk too consider!” Patton protested.

“Patton you couldn’t have possibly…”

“It’s my job Lo! I should look after all of you guys. I’m the one who keeps us happy and together and now everyone is sad and… and…” Patton was shaking with sobs again. Only now did Janus remember that when Patton was tired (physically or emotionally) his empathic ability played up without him wanting to. His telepathic link on the other became much harder to establish under such circumstances. Which meant that while Patton couldn’t find comfort in linking with the others, his usual coping tool for anything bad going on, he felt his own feelings on top of everyone else’s unfiltered.

Logan seemed to realize this too. “Patton, I’m sorry. I should have realized. You need not burden yourself with our guilt as well as your own. Please, please forgive me this oversight?” he asked with a comforting hand on Patton’s shoulder, the other still holding Janus’.

Patton gave a small tired smile. “It’s not your fault Lo… You guys don’t have to repress your own feelings just for me. We are all a bit stressed out and…”

“Pardon me?” Everyone immediately looked to the door. Well everyone except Janus who couldn’t turn his head very well. But he got there.

His left eye still was not right but he could discern a figure at the door. Hopefully this person was the one who could get him out of this bed so he could finally get answers.

“Ah. Doctor Laffeye. Thank you for coming. As you can see Janus has woken up. Could you…?”

The figure came closer and seemed to look down at Janus.

“Hello. Elena Lafeye, she/her… Your eye isn’t doing so well it seems.” She sounded kind and disappointed by her observation. That wasn't good.

“No See…” he croaked.

“And your troath probably feels pretty painful too. I’m going to do my best to help the healing process along. But I find that I get the best result in several sessions rather than one go. You just tell me when it starts to feel painful. That might indicate that I am rushing some stitches or something like that. Sometimes the body just protests being forced to heal. It is important that you are honest, or it’ll be worse in the end okay?”

Janus felt frustrated, what was the point of a healing ability if it couldn't get him back to normal right away? But, if he could get well enough to get out of the room to wherever Roman and Virgil were... Then that was enough right?

“Kay,” he promised.

“Good. I have told this to your friends, but I’ll repeat it to you. Thank you. For speaking out about it all. You guys make life much easier for the rest of us. Thank you.”

Janus thought she sounded sincere, but he could not see her face clearly enough to be sure.

“No prob…” No, that was as far as he got.

“Top to bottom then,” she said. It was not a question.

Janus expected Remus to laugh or make a joke, but he didn’t and that was terrifying. Did he really feel that responsible? Or did he look so terible that even Remus couldn't make light of the situation?

“Here we go.”

It started with a light tingling sensation in his left eye. It became warm and then it was kind of like a static… “Stop,” he croaked as he forcibly shut his eye when the first sting occurred.

When he opened his eye though he could see improvement. It wasn’t as sharp as he was used to. But he no longer felt like he was half blind.

“Wow, it looks a lot better!” Patton exclaimed, probably trying to assure Janus. Sadly Janus could only think about how Patton didn't say he was back to normal.

“I am going to focus on your face now,” the doctor warned and the tingling started again.

“Stop,” Janus rasped again when it started to feel like a web of glowing hot wires was put against his skin.

“Okay. I’ll move on to your throat. This shouldn’t hurt as much considering most of the trauma from the accident has healed on it’s own. Any damage left now is from the breathing and feeding tube. This is just to make you more comfortable with speaking.”

This time the doctor stopped before Janus got even a little uncomfortable.

“How’s that?” she asked.

“Well…” That didn’t hurt. “Better. Thank you.”

“Good. Now… Let’s see if we can get you well enough to leave the bed alright? I’m sure you’d like to check in on your other friends as well.”

Yes! Please, let me see them. “Okay.”

The doctor took in a deep breath and the warm sensation kept traveling up and down the left side of his body. From his fingertips to his shoulder, through his torso, down his leg to his toes and back.

Up and down, over and over again.

“S… Stop please,” he gasped when the warmth started to burn.

“Okay… how does that feel? Can you try and sit up?”

Janus blinked. Right, he’d stayed put so far. To be fair even moving his head had been exhausting a few minutes ago.

“Um… Yeah,” he murmured as he carefully moved his arms. His left stung a bit, but it was manageable. He’d deal with it if it meant they’d go to see Virgil.

“Carefull Jan!” Patton pleads as he frantically flayed his hands around wanting to push him down but scared to touch.

“It’s alright sir. I think he’s got it,” the doctor stated soothingly. Once Janus sat up the doctor nodded satisfied and left with the promise of checking on them again in an hour.

“Patton. Will you show me now?” Janus asked as soon as they were left alone.

“I…”

“Please. I need to know,” he pleaded. He could feel something wasn’t right with his body. He was too much of a coward to simply look down though. He told himself he wanted to see the full picture. That he wanted to see what the public would see when he inevitably would be swarmed by reporters. But honestly, he hoped that if he looked through Patton's eyes he wouldn't hate what he’d see as much.

Patton once again turned to the others. Remus squirmed, avoiding his eyes. Logan sighed and squeezed Patton’s shoulder, encouraging him to turn to him.

"He will only get more stressed by not knowing. We can hardly keep him away from reflective surfaces. Best he sees it when he has a chance to mentally prepare." With that Logan's steady gaze directed itself towards Janus.

"You were burned on the entire left side of your body. There were many skin transplants performed to help save your life. Are you really ready to see yourself?"

Janus wasn't sure if he was. But he knew he had to see.

He gave them a firm nod.

Patton sighed resigned to the decision "Ok... 3, 2... 1."

Janus struggled not to scream out in horror. The man he saw trough Patton's eyes wasn't him. The left side of his body was an awful patchwork. It couldn't be. And this was after accelerated healing?

"Is... is this why Roman and Virgil aren't here?" he asked with a shaking voice. He wasn't sure how he'd feel if the answer was yes.

"No! No of course not!" Paton exclaimed. It should have been a relief. But if they weren't avoiding him...

"Then... why? What happened?"

Silence filled the room.

"Patton was linked with the rest of us," Remus started, his voice unnervingly... normal.

"When the explosion went of... you know how we sometimes link up subconsciously. We all blanked for a second due to the pain." So he'd sent out an SOS...

And everyone had felt what did this to him...

“But Roman… He shot in action. By the time we realized you two were in danger he was already back at the building. He told us he found you two buried under some rubble. You were on top of Virgil who wasn’t burned at all, but he was unconscious. Roman managed to wake him up though and… Well we finally found out what happens when ‘survival’,” their nickname for Virgil’s power set, “Is pushed to the limit. Virgil told Roman to pick you up and next thing Roman knew you were all back with us and Virgil collapsed from overexertion.”

Patton and Logan nodded. “The doctors say he pushed his muscles so hard that they broke a few bones. There were hairline fractures all over. And… He still hasn’t woken up,” Patton explained sadly.

“Roman aggravated his injury going after you two, but he couldn't be made to care about his own recovery. He has refused to leave Virgil's side unless he knew one of us took his place. We’ve been taking turns to let him freshen up and visit you. Well Patton and Remus have. Apparently my care was unsatisfactory. Who knows what is going on in his head,” Logan added. Clearly still a little hurt by whatever had led to that decision, and frustrated by what must have been countless fruitless attempts to get Roman to listen to the doctors.

Janus could easily imagine why their theaterloving friend might be acting that way. Roman had declared himself to be their leader. Despite not being the oldest or most experienced in anything. It had been his idea to save people thought. And they all understood that he felt responsible for putting them on this path.

His guilt must run deep.

“I have to go see them,” Janus stated. This time everyone nodded without even a second’s hesitation.

“You won’t be able to walk on your own just yet. Even without your injuries, your muscles haven’t been used in a month. They will have to rebuild strength through physical therapy,” Logan informed him while Patton pulled up a wheelchair.

“I have used the past month to learn how to help you get settled without hurting you. I assumed you would prefer that over a nurse,” he added.

Janus smirked. “Oh no, I was totally hoping some random person would be yanking my body around.”

The other chuckled. “We missed you Jan,” Patton smiled warmly.

And Janus could feel how sincere he was. He could only really smile with his right side, so even when he tried to do it sincerely it probably looked like a smirk. So he gave his friends more of the humor they’d been missing. “I’d say I missed you to. But… I didn’t.”

He could feel the chuckle vibrate trough Logan’s chest as he carefully maneuvered him into the wheelchair.

Patton put himself in charge of steering him while Remus and Logan walked on either side of him, like they were escorting someone powerful or famous. And technically, Janus was both. They all were. They just tended to forget that around one another.

But it became rather apparent when they left the room and there were two armed police officers stationed in front of the door.

“We are going to see Instinct now. You may try to stop us, but it’ll only waste 13minutes and 29 seconds of all of our time before we convince you to let us trough. At the most.” Logan stated. He said it so firmly that anyone who didn’t know him would assume he knew this as a fact thanks to his predictive reasoning. But Janus, and the others surely too, could tell that he was lying. Meaning the guards might be able to stand their ground if they chose to do so.

But as no one bet against Logan’s predictions the guards stepped aside and let them trough.

There were guards in front of the room next to them too. These two however stepped aside right away.

Remus opened the door and they could hear Roman’s voice.

“I’ll let you pick the movies for a month. I won’t ever complain about your loud music again. I’ll admit I’m a big idiot! You can even have that in writing. Just please… Please V… I can’t… We can’t lose you.”

Janus’ heart ached. Their friends had gone through hell the past month.

Patton rolled Janus inside and he felt tears jump to his eyes. Well at least his tear ducts worked.

Roman was holding Virgil’s limp hand in his own. His head resting in the crook of his arm on the bed as he gazed up at their friend’s sleeping face. He was sitting in what looked like a very uncomfortable chair and had yet to realize he had company. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was a mess.

Janus and Roman were easily the vainest in the group. They knew this and accepted this about themselves. They often bonded over fashion and the sorts.

Logan came closest, though he did not care for fashion or anything like that. He just carefully maintained a professional appearance at all times.

The others didn’t seem to live in the same world when it came to caring for ones appearance. Except for Remus he was from a different universe.

And yet here both theatric, normally impeccably groomed men were. Absolute messes.

“You look terrible,” Janus drawled casually. Because there is no right way to draw attention to your presence in these circumstances.

Roman looked up, his eyes wide, a small ghost of a smile, a tiny spark in his eyes as he took him in.

Well at least his new look didn’t gross him out. Then again, he had apparently seen him look worse.

“I mean, so do I. But I was in a coma for a month. What is your excuse?”

Now the smile did break free, though the spark turned into silent tears. Janus would take it.

He could see Roman was struggling with the desire to come over and check on him and the need to stay close to Virgil.

Luckily Patton rode Janus over to be right in front of Roman so he wouldn’t have to choose.

He turned in his seat, switching Virgil’s hand from his right to his left so he could place his now freed hand gently on the scarred side of Janus’ face. Janus gasped in awe. Leave it to Roman to know, to understand, that Janus needed someone to treat his ruined half as if nothing had changed.

Roman angled Janus’ head and his own so that their foreheads touched.

“Welcome back,” he whispered.

“Good to be back,” Janus responded, feeling an immense weight fall of his chest.

Roman sat back up again, now holding Janus’ hand instead of his face.

“I hope, though I do not deserve such a gift, that you can find it in yourself to forgive me.”

And there it was. “For forgetting how to use a brush?” Janus scoffed.

Roman’s eyes flashed in annoyance. “This is no laughing matter! If I hadn’t tripped you and Virgil would have both been out of the building when that bomb went off! If anyone had ended up in the hospital it would have been me and rightfully so! I have no right to be left with nothing but a fractured ankle! It even healed over by now. Virgil however won’t be fully better for months! Even if he wakes up! And you… You could have died! We were told to prepare for… And the doctors don’t know why Virgil hasn’t woken up yet… and… and… I should’ve protected you both I…” Roman was full on sobbing now.

“Kiddo, no…” Patton whispered weakly.

“Don’t be stupid Romano. Anyone else would’ve waited for the V train and ended up caught in the blast as well or something,” Remus argued.

“Indeed. And there is always a chance that Virgil would have stopped to pick you up anyway and took a moment to tease you before taking you away. You know he likes carrying ‘the prince’ like a princess. You are his favorite to ‘whisk away’. There are an infinite amount of things that still could have gone wrong,” Logan reasoned earnestly.

Roman looked around at them in surprise. “But… I…” Then he stopped himself and allowed himself a chuckle.

“I guess… You all have some good points,” he sighed before letting go of Janus’ hand and turning back towards the bed. Switching his hands once more before dragging his left trough his hair and rubbing his eyes. “Now if only…”

“Tell me someone took a picture of the prince as a pauper.”

When they heard that everyone shot up in attention, except for Janus who didn’t have the strength to do more much more than hold his position right now. But he too turned his head to the bed where Virgil was blinking his eyes as he tried to take everyone in.

“You guys look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he chuckled. Then his eyes landed on Janus and widened.

Janus prepared himself. Last time Virgil saw him he didn’t even have so much as a freckle to tarnish his complexion. Now…

“J? Are you… Does it hurt?” he asked tentatively.

Well… No point in lying. “I’ve felt better,” but he didn’t have to be too honest either.

“Well… For what it’s worth, I think you look wicked. And anyone who has a problem is going to have to deal with me… umph!”

Roman had had enough of sitting around and was embracing Virgil.

“You are awake!” He exclaimed in relieve.

“Okay… Um… How long…?”

“A month,” Logan supplied as he came to stand at Virgil’s other side and ran his hand affectionately trough his hair. “You have a few broken bones that have yet to fully heal and a lot of physical therapy ahead, but now that you are awake, rest assured that you will make a full recovery.”

Virgil nodded in understanding.

“Princey? Can you let go of me now?” he asked.

“I don’t think any of us are ready for that kiddo,” Patton stated trough his happy tears as he sat down on Logan’s side of the bed and placed a hand on Virgil’s knee.

“Yeah! I finally have my creep and horror buddy back!” Remus exclaimed with glee, finally back to normal now that everyone was awake and together it seemed.

“Virgil, I… I thought….” Roman gasped as sobs threatened to overtake him yet again.

“Relax Princey. You don’t get rid of me that easily…” Virgil chuckled. Then he looked at Janus with some sadness in his eyes.

“Thanks. For saving me. I wish it hadn’t been needed though.”

Janus met Virgil’s eyes earnestly. “Of course Virgil. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“And you have nothing to be sorry over okay kiddo? You did nothing wrong!” Patton insisted.

“Indeed...” Logan started probably about to do the same rational breakdown of Virgil’s actions and possible consequences of other decisions on his part as he’d done for everyone else but himself.

“I know,” Virgil chuckled with a roll of his eyes. Surprising everyone. If there was one member of their group they could assume would find a way to blame himself for everything wrong with the world, it was Virgil.

“What? You all have been helping me with my negative thinking remember? Hindsight 20/20 in this case. There is no use in dwelling on what happened if in the moment you acted with the right intentions and to the best of your ability. No point in playing the blame game,” he droned off the last part with a fond smile to Logan, who stared at him for a moment and then let out a single laugh. Followed by another , and another.

Patton joined in with giggles. Remus started cackling and Roman finally had to let Virgil go in order to laugh fully with tears in his eyes.

Janus had to settle for a warm smile on half his face and a slight shaking of his shoulders.

“Um… What did I say?” Virgil frowned.

“Nothing. It’s just that we have all been playing the blame game ourselves without even realizing,” Janus informed Virgil. “And now you, out of everyone, have put things in perspective again.

We are all here. And everything else, we can deal with.”

Virgil smiled at that. “Yeah… Yeah we can.”

Many challenges were still ahead. But that didn’t matter. They were all together again and all was right in the world.

Virgil=Instinct

Survival: he can choose to heighten his senses and increase his physical strength and speed to super human levels. His tolerance for pain is also heightened. Usually needs a nap and food after missions. Occasionally he'll discover he has injuries once he deactivates his power.

Roman= Prince

Equip: Basically full metal alchemist. If he can imagine the object clearly he can make it using molecules in the world around him. But for, by example, a working radio he'd have to know how all the parts fit together and work. So he has only a few of these complex objects in his arsenal.

Remus=Ragdoll

Asemble: Mr potato head from toy story. He can disassemble himself like a doll and put himself together again. If he pulls of a hand he can still use said hand as if it were attached. He lost his right little toe once and since then they all make sure Remus is in one piece before leaving.

Patton=Father

Connect: Can establish a telepathic bond with others and feel their emotions. The better he knows you the stronger both powers work. The team often uses this for group discussions, Patton shares his empathic powers with the rest through telepathy and that usually calms everyone right down. Hard to be mad when you feel how loved you are by the one your fighting with. Everyone agrees that if Patton wasn’t the cinnamon bun he is he'd make for a master manipulator.

As mentioned in the fic, his empathic abilities flare up when he is tired while his telepathy becomes harder to handle. He can connect briefly to one person at a time under those conditions.

Logan=MasterMind

Predictive reasoning: he can basically tell the future. Short term predictions are more accurate than long term. You can ask him the most likely outcome if you do action a as opposed to action b by example. He is still learning to take emotions into account but Patton helps him with that.

Janus=Fantasm

Mirage: he can create illusions. They work better when sight is limited by darkness fog or limited thinking of the spectator due to high emotions or the like. It does require more focus the more complex the vision is. He also can't move if he wants to keep it up. He usually takes care of distractions or hiding them.

#sanders sides #ts sides #sanderssidessecretsanta #fic #hurt comfort #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders

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hiccanna-tidbits · 3 years ago

Note

5, 6, 7 & 8 for OTP asks with Hiccanna!!

HELL YEAH BRO

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Anna, hopeless romantic and “true love” fanatic that she is, is incredibly down to meet her soulmate. One of her biggest fears is being inherently unlovable and that no one will ever love her for who she is (parents dying and sister shunning you has to leave some abandonment issues babyyyy), so she takes a lot of comfort in the idea of a soulmate--at least one person is basically certain to love her, right?

Hiccup, meanwhile, is apathetic at best and annoyed by the idea of a higher power dictating who his girlfriend is at worst. Unlike Anna, he doesn’t really fear no one will ever really love him for who he is--rather, he just accepts it as fact. Growing up with no friends and an emotionally-distant father, Hiccup came to believe that he was never going to feel the kind of deep, boundless love he’d seen between other people--and he made his peace with it. Being a more introverted scientist and inventor-type, Hiccup tends to spend a lot of time alone anyways and believes (maybe not fully accurately) that he prefers it that way. Besides, the logician in him thinks the whole “magic cosmic soulmate” thing is probably bullshit, and he just can’t figure out how something like soulmates could ever be backed or supported by modern science. Ultimately, Hiccup figures he’s going to date who he’s going to date (if he can even find any girls who are interested, that is), and he really couldn’t care less what the stars have to say about it.

When Hiccup and Anna do finally meet, and eventually start dating (knowing how shy and awkward they’d both be about confessing, it would take months to years after them meeting to actually get together, even in a goddamn soulmate AU), it isn’t revealed that they’re soulmates right away. Maybe it’s revealed by their hearts glowing a certain color when they first realize they’re in love with the other person? Idk.

When Anna finds out they’re soulmates, she’s absolutely stoked. Like the girl probably runs around their home for a solid 15 minutes planning a soulmate reveal party or something. Hiccup, meanwhile, is just kind of like “Oh! Neat!” and then immediately goes back to whatever he was doing XD

Anna is a bit hurt that Hiccup is so, ah...unconcerned about them being literally destined to be together. She’s mainly worried that it means that he doesn’t like...cherish their connection enough and whatnot. After he picks up on the fact that she’s kind of upset about his definitive lack of a strong reaction to the whole thing, he explains to her that he didn’t really care because he’d 100% date Anna whether or not she was his soulmate. Saying their souls were deeply connected was basically just putting a formal title on what he already knew.

And Anna has to take a minute, because honestly? Hiccup confidently saying he’d be with her in any reality, even one where he risks angering cosmic forces to do so, is actually much more romantic than them being supposedly “fated for each other” since the beginning.

Single parent AU: Which one is the single parent? (Alt. if they’re both single parents: Which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? Which one is never planning on finding love again… Until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

I think I’ll have Zephyr and Nuffink be the single parent kids because I Just Think They’re Neat! That, and I honestly can’t bear to make lovechildren for Anna with anyone but Hiccup XD (those of you who know me will know making Krist/anna lovechildren in any context is RIGHT OUT).

So in this AU things didn’t work out with Astrid and Hiccup is pretty heartbroken over it :( I imagine she ultimately left him because she wasn’t really feeling the spark anymore, and they have joint custody of the kids. Meanwhile, Hiccup and Anna were neighbors growing up, and were pretty close friends as kids until Anna moved away and they lost touch. She eventually comes back to their hometown as an adult, and she and Hiccup reconnect. They’re also both like “ah shit, my old buddy got HOT” XD

I actually think Anna and Zephyr would really hit it off, mainly because Anna sees a lot of what she loves the most about Hiccup in Zephyr. Zephyr has Hiccup’s anxiety, cynicism, inventive streak, overall social awkwardness--and because Anna knows Hiccup so well and knows how to best accommodate all of his quirks and oddities, it’s not hard for her to extrapolate how best to befriend a younger version of him XD Zephyr, meanwhile, has had trouble befriending kids her age due to her bluntness and general “nerdiness,” so she’s always happy to find someone who accepts her unconditionally and takes a genuine interest in her wacky inventions--even if it’s her dad’s new girlfriend, who by all accounts should be a weird person for her to get close to XD Zephyr also devours science books like they’re going out of style, and is very pleased that Anna is more than happy to listen to her ramble on and on about random science trivia. Zeph still loves her biological mom, for sure, but she starts thinking of Anna as a second mom. She brags to all the kids at school that she has two moms, which leaves them very confused and wondering if Astrid ended up marrying another woman after she divorced Hiccup (which, to be fair, wouldn’t be entirely out of character).

Nuffink, meanwhile, is a little more unsure about the whole situation, if mainly because I headcanon him as a bit of a mama’s boy. He doesn’t dislike Anna so much as he’s just...wary of her, and doesn’t know how to feel about his dad falling in love with someone who isn’t his mom. He also can’t help but feel out-of-place when he, Zephyr, Hiccup, and Anna go out on “family outings” because he kind of looks like he doesn’t belong. With her reddish-brown hair, her blue eyes, her aundance of freckles, and her fondness for wearing twin braids, Zephyr could definitely pass as Anna’s daughter (I’ve even seen Anna used as an older version of Zephyr in video edits, which is hilariously ironic). Although Nuffink has his dad’s eyes, he very much has his biological mom’s hair and doesn’t look like he’s related to Anna at all.

I think what helps them finally bond is that they both have a love of combat! Nuffink definitely does some kind of martial arts or fencing training if he can access it, and Anna is more than happy to teach him some swordplay and spar with him if he wants! Because Sword Anna is best Anna, fight me. Nuffink is also open-minded enough that hey, if his cool big sister likes someone that much, she can’t be that bad. Hiccup is just...continually super impressed with how much Anna knows about fighting--and it makes him fall all the more in love with her, because he loves that in a woman XD Once Nuffink warms up to Anna, he’s constantly trying to impress her ith how tough he is--mostly shown by him ramming his head into walls. Poor Anna worries about Nuffink a lot XD

I imagine there’s a little bit of tension between Anna and Astrid in this AU. Not really because Astrid resents Hiccup moving on--she’s actually pretty happy for Hiccup that he found someone better suited for him than her--but more because she worries Anna is trying to replace her as the kids’ “true mom” XD Anna, meanwhile, can’t help but resent Astrid a little for breaking Hiccup’s heart and doesn’t get why they kids can’t just have two moms! The more people who love them, the better, right???

I don’t imagine Anna and Hiccup having any biological kids in this AU, because I think two stepkids would be plenty for Anna! Of course, since Zephyr and Nuffink are Hiccup’s, she loves them with all her being and tries to be the best stepmom she can be. But I think having more than two kids would stress Anna’s ADHD ass the fuck out, and she doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who would feel a need to have biological kids with Hiccup if she already had Nuffink and Zephyr to parent. Our girl is perfectly happy adopting!

Doctor AU: Which one is the longsuffering doctor? Which one is the patient?

Hiccup is the long-suffering doctor, although not entirely by choice. Often he wonders if being a doctor is actually what he wanted, but his dad was like “WELL SON! YOU’RE SMART, SO YOU GOTTA BE A DOCTOR SO YOU MAKE BIG BUCKS!” (I’m headcanoning in this AU Stoick is a professional athlete of some kind, and has made BANK since he was young. He can’t really conceive of his son NOT pursuing a well-paid profession). Hiccup doesn’t really want to disappoint his rather intimidating dad, so he goes along with it.

It’s not that he dislikes it, when all is said and done. He does care about people and wants to help them, although he hides it underneath about 10 layers of snark. Still, it’s stressful and thankless work, and often he worries about whether he took the right path. Too late to pursue something else now, he supposes.

Then he meets Anna, rushed to the ICU with a collection of third-degree electrical burns. She tried to plug all of her Christmas light strings into the same power strip, and uh...it did not go well. Hiccup is there monitoring her vitals when she wakes up, and she just kind of wearily sighs and admits to him that living on her own wasn’t nearly as fun or exciting as she thought it would be. As it turned out, Anna had insisted she could be trusted with putting up her apartment’s holiday decorations, and she very much should not have been.

Anna ends up having to stay a couple weeks. She needs a small skin graft (yeah, she fucked herself up THAT bad), and then needs a bit of time for the surgery wounds to heal. Hiccup is assigned to do checkups on her regularly, and starts to look forward to it. Her perky disposition (despite being stuck in the hospital with burn wounds) is contagious, and she never fails to make him laugh after a long, draining shift. As stressful as his job is, Anna becomes his one respite.

He has to admit, it’s nice to have at least one thing to look forward to.

Hiccup is a little sad to see Anna go. Of course, bumbling, socially awkward foot-in-mouth fool that he is, he doesn’t have the courage to ask for her number so they can keep in touch. That would, uh...probably be unprofessional or something. Besides, it would probably crush his heart and soul if she was weirded out by his soft spot for her so like...maybe best not to even open himself up to the possibility.

Then, not two weeks later, Anna shows up at the hospital again--this time having broken three bones in a hiking accident. Apparently she got too excited about a particularly nice view, and toppled right off the top of a very steep bluff. He, once again, takes on her care, and is delighted (albeit guiltily) to have her back. He, once again, has something to make work not suck as much!

Oddly enough, this turns out to be the first of many hiking accidents. Anna comes in next month claiming to have nearly burned her arm off in a rogue campfire, and then again the next month claiming to have been mauled by a bear (although Hiccup is pretty sure those bleeding gashes were just left by a very big dog, and Anna is too embarrassed to admit it). Odder still, Hiccup distinctly remembers talking to Anna during her first hospital stay about how much he loved hiking and the outdoors, and now all of her new string of injuries just happen to be hiking-related. He can’t help but be baffled about how her insurance even covers all of this, but apparently having a family lineage distantly related to Norwegian royalty has its perks.

On roughly her 7th hospital stay, Hiccup finally gathers up the courage to ask Anna for her number, if only because he figures it would be nice for them to see each other without Anna having to nearly get herself killed first every time XD

Bodyguard AU: Who is the bodyguard? Who are they protecting? Which one is secretly pining for the other?

OMIGOD SO

I HAD AN IDEA FOR THIS

What if Anna was sent to bodyguard Hiccup in an AU where Arendelle is a lot more militaristic???

Basically what I'm thinking is that this is in an alternate timeline, Hiccup didn't injure Toothless's tail when he shot him down. The beginning of HTTYD plays out the same, but Toothless can still fly and just yeets off after Hiccup frees him, supposedly never to be seen again. However, this still leads Hiccup to believe he may not be dragon-fighting material after all. The poor boy still yearns to find a way to prove his worth to Berk, though.

As Hiccup gets older, his strength doesn't really improve, and it becomes clear to Stoick that he's always going to be pretty scrawny. Because of this, he's hesitant to put Hiccup in dragon training for the sake of his son's own safety--and hey, Hiccup seems to have lost interest in dragon-fighting anyhow, so it's not like Hiccup will fight him on it. Nonetheless, the dragon raids are getting worse, and Stoick worries about Hiccup being able to protect himself at all. Knowing most of the older villagers are busy with dragon-fighting and other jobs, and honestly doubting any of the village's teenagers would protect Hiccup if push came to shove, Stoick sends out an appeal of sorts to neighboring villages and kingdoms requesting a bodyguard for his skinny disaster of a son.

Back in Arendelle, shut-in princess Anna is surprised yet intrigued when a messenger from the Viking village of Berk shows up at Elsa's coronation. In a timeline where Hans and Anna don’t have their chance encounter, Hans sets his wooing sights on the newly-crowned Queen Elsa (and fails), and no push ends up being strong enough to make Elsa lose control of her powers at the ceremony. Anna, however, still feels hurt by her sister’s seemingly reasonless rebuke earlier in the evening and finds herself aching to explore the world outside her castle and be close with someone--anyone--again.

When the Viking messenger requests a bodyguard for the Chief of Berk’s son, Anna is quick to volunteer. The messenger scoffs at first, but to his surprise, the soft-looking princess isn’t entirely unqualified. She filled many of her long, empty childhood hours training with the Arendelle guard, and her swordplay is admirable. To prove her worth, Anna faces off with one of the Berkian warriors in a duel--and holds her own shockingly well. While Queen Elsa is hesitant to let her sister run off to a faraway nation, Anna vehemently insists that Arendelle doesn’t need two monarchs, and this will be great for diplomatic relations in the long run. Of course, she also longs to explore and get away from the place she’s been trapped her entire life, but Elsa doesn’t need to know that part.

When Anna arrives in Arendelle, Hiccup has absolutely no idea what to make of his new bodyguard. On the one hand, a girl who’s good with a sword is hot, and he’s long since given up on Astrid anyways. On the other hand, Hiccup is definitely irked that his dad sees him as so weak and incapable that he’s the only Viking in the village who needs a full-on bodyguard, and he hates feeling like he’s being babied and coddled (not that this is Anna’s fault). Still, his bodyguard is essentially the only person who’s ever seemed to actually want to be friends with him in...well, his whole life, and honestly? He’ll take it.

Anna, meanwhile, still aching for love and connections of really any kind, is nigh-instantly smitten. His brains, his creativity, his constant snide jokes, his snark-coated good heart, his weird, messy hairdo--all of it has an 18-year-old Anna completely over the moon. Hiccup, feeling hopeless in the world of romance after being rejected by Astrid, is honestly just relieved to finally have a friend--to the point that it doesn’t even occur to him that Anna’s a girlfriend option.

Not long after she arrives in Berk, Anna is put into dragon training to prepare for raids. She does a bit of training of her own with Hiccup, teaching him some swordplay to try and boost his confidence. It’s not hard to tell that he has mixed feelings about having to have a protector, and Anna hopes that by teaching him some basic fighting skills he can at least feel a little better if he’s ever in a situation where she isn’t there to defend him.

As she gets deeper into her dragon training, Anna asks Hiccup why he never gave dragon training a go. Granted, him being as physically small as he is would be a disadvantage, but he could still learn to hold his own decently well using speed and stealth. It would help him be able to protect himself, if nothing else. Hiccup seems very reluctant to talk about the whole subject, but he says Anna needs to trust that he knows he can’t kill dragons. He tends to give the shortest answers possible to her questions, and nigh-instantly changes the subject. When Anna presses too much, he gets snippy.

As they get closer, Hiccup finally opens up to Anna about the time he shot down a Night Fury and couldn’t bring himself to make the final kill. He admits to cutting the creature free, and how the dragon nearly killed him--only to spare Hiccup just as Hiccup had spared him. “I saw more than just a ruthless killer when I looked into that dragon’s eye,” Hiccup tells her. “I saw myself. I think there’s so much more to them than anyone knows, but...you’re the only person I feel like would actually give me the benefit of the doubt on that.”

During the next raid, Anna pays closer attention to the dragons than before. She watches how they interact with the villagers, and notice that they never seem to go out of their way to go after people. They only fight Vikings when Vikings initiate, and the dragons’ main concern always seems to be taking sheep and fish. Left to their own devices, they don’t seem to want to hurt anyone.

Unfortunately, Anna standing off to the side and trying to watch what all the dragons are doing leaves her distracted--and vulnerable. She’s not prepared for a camouflaged changewing to melt out of the wall behind her, whipping around and backing her into a corner. Anna grabs for her sword but can hardly move, frozen in terror as the massive dragon stares her down.

She holds up an arm, bracing herself for a wall of fire, but none comes. There’s a swish of wings and a gust of wind blows her back. When she looks up, the dragon is gone.

It would’ve been beyond easy for the dragon to kill her. The creature clearly saw her--could have taken advantage in her moment of frozen stupor and burned her to a crisp. And yet...the dragon spared her. Just like the Night Fury had spared Hiccup.

Anna realizes Hiccup might be onto something.

Together, Hiccup and Anna decide they’re going to get to the bottom of what dragons are really like--and why they’re stealing the village’s food. While claiming to go out for “battle practice,” Hiccup and Anna track down dragons and study them in secret--observing them, writing about them, seeing how they behave and how they interact with one another. They’re surprised by what they see: left to their own devices, dragons are good-natured and compassionate, and they take care of their own. Strangely, they never seem to feed the stolen food to their young. Hiccup predicts they’re not actually keeping it for themselves, and taking it somewhere nigh unreachable for humans. For what actual purpose is anyone’s guess.

Anna starts using the info she gathers observing dragons with Hiccup in dragon-training. She finds ways to sooth them and calm them down in the ring by using things they seem to enjoy in the wild. Scented grass, bits of fish, soft touches, slow, gentle movements. The village marvels at her newfound skills, and can’t help but wonder where she developed such a knack for controlling dragons despite spending basically all her time around “Stoick’s little runt.” She couldn’t be training with him, of all people...could she? Astrid, for one, is definitely none too pleased about her spot at the top of the class being threatened.

Meanwhile, Anna and Hiccup can’t help but grow fond of the dragons they watch. They start becoming more bold, and leaving snacks of trout and mutton for the scaled creatures. Anna is delighted when the food ends up attracting none other than what she’s pretty sure is the same changewing who spared her, as well as a curious snaptrapper. She’s never gotten to see a snaptrapper up close before, and is completely undeterred by the triple-jawed four heads. Rather, she is far more preoccupied with coming up with the perfect name for each head.

“Omigod, he’s so PRETTY! And he smells like CHOCOLATE!”

“...you know they probably emit that scent to lure in prey so they can slice it in three, right?”

“CHOCOLATE, HICCUP!!!”

With each new meal, the local dragons grow more and more comfortable with Hiccup and Anna. After a while, the changewing and the snaptrapper even let Anna touch their noses. Anna falls in love with watching the changewing seem to melt around the forest as she camouflages, and rolling in the mud with the snaptrapper after a summer storm. Hiccup starts catching what seems to be glimpses of the Night Fury he freed, and it appears that the curious creature has come back to investigate him.

The Night Fury appears more and more, drawn in by Hiccup’s trout feast. Hiccup notices the dragon’s wing is injured, likely shot by someone from the village. Although he’s not completely helpless, he’s having trouble. Hiccup sets to work on his most daring project yet--making a “brace” of sorts that can mend the ripped wing.

When Hiccup and Anna attempt to distract the Night Fury long enough to climb up and put the wing brace on, something unexpected happens. The dragon shoots up to the sky, both unwitting passengers clinging onto his tail for dear life.

Once they get their bearings and clamber up to his back, the Night Fury (who Hiccup has nicknamed “Toothless” for his retractable teeth) takes them on a flight through the clouds. Unable to help herself, Anna laces her arms around Hiccup’s waist--if only so she can supposedly “hold on better.”

Hiccup, of course, still doesn’t get it.

The flight takes a sinister turn when Toothless takes them to the dragon nest, and Hiccup finally gets his answer about where all of the villages food has been going--to their queen. Unsure what to do or how to free their new friends from the Red Death, Hiccup and Anna promise each other one thing or sure--none of the rest of Berk can know about the dragon nest. If they attack it, it spells disaster for both dragons and Vikings--not to mention the question of how they got there is sure to dig up their secret dragon-related activities as of late.

With each dragon raid, Anna finds herself more and more reluctant to fight dragons--especially now that she knows what’s actually going on. She only does the bare minimum to protect the food and the village, never going out of her way to attack a dragon or landing a killing blow (although by this point, she’d definitely be skilled enough to). During one particularly intense raid, Anna is finding it harder and harder to fend dragons off without doing lethal damage. While driving out a particularly tenacious monstrous nightmare, Anna happens upon the same changewing she’s befriended in the forest, limping to safety.

It would be incredibly easy to finish the dragon off, but Anna refuses. The dragon knows she’s beat, and so Anna lets her leave without so much as a swing of the princess’s sword.

Unfortunately, Astrid sees.

After the raid, Astrid storms up to Anna and chews her out in front of the whole village, yelling about how weak she was to not go for a dragon kill when she had the chance. It turns out Astrid’s also been noticing Anna going intentionally easy on the dragons, and how much the Arendelle princess seems to hold back when fighting him. Astrid knows it’s not physical incompetence, or a lack of skill--she’s seen Anna subdue plenty of dragons in training.

No, it seems to be the princess’s heart that’s weak. Her kingdom must be nothing but a bunch of bleeding-hearted morons, and she’ll never be tough enough to really belong in Berk.

As he watches Astrid yell and the Berkians all turn to sneer at the scene, Hiccup feels a sudden rush of protectiveness for his friend. Tears are starting to form in the corners of her eyes, and something gives in him seeing her subjected to the very ostracization that left him completely alone for so many years.

He walks up beside Anna, and suddenly he’s shouting like he’s never quite had the courage to before.

“You’re wrong, Astrid! You’re all wrong!”

Before long, he’s spilling everything--how dragons are intelligent and caring creatures, how they’re only stealing food to feed a ruthless queen, how he’s sure humans have killed far more dragons than vice versa. The village stares, horrified. When Stoick storms forward, Hiccup and Anna know it’s nothing good.

Stoick is disgusted. The very bodyguard he had brought all the way out to Berk to give his son strength did nothing but fill Hiccup’s head with softness and dangerous lies. He banishes Anna, warning her never to set foot in Berk or speak to his son again.

Hiccup will not have it. He says if Anna’s leaving, he’s coming with her. He’s made his choice, and he’s standing by the only person who ever really treated him with unconditional love and kindness.

“Fine,” Stoick says simply. “We’ll be rid of two traitors, then.”

Cast out from Berk, Hiccup and Anna find themselves with a new mission: Find the nest before the rest of Berk does, and take out the Red Death once and for all.

With the help of Toothless, the Changewing (who Anna has nicknamed “Flicker”), and the Snaptrapper (whose heads Anna have very creatively named Leafy, Greeny, Spiky, and Badbreath. It’s beyond Hiccup how she tells all of them apart, but she’s very adamant about which is which.), they find the dragon hive again, and attempt the impossible--attacking the queen. It seems hopeless at first, but once more and more malcontented dragons see what they’re doing, they join in and rebel.

It’s a tough fight, but the two humans and the revolting dragons come out on top. Not before the Red Death has one last hurrah, though--letting out a final, massive blast of fire that knocks Hiccup askew and sends him tumbling down into the flames. Toothless, Flicker, Anna, and the Snaptrapper dive after, and are quickly engulfed in red and orange.

Meanwhile, the Berkians have sent out ships following Hiccup, Anna, and their dragons, guessing the nest is where they were headed. By the time they get there, the fight is over--and Stoick and Gobber just manage to catch a glimpse of Hiccup plummeting into the flames.

Anna screams Hiccup’s name until the smoke burns her throat so much she can’t anymore. She remembers swooping underneath him and just managing to grab hold of his limp body before everything goes dark.

When she comes to later, it’s still dark--but she feels something soft and warm in her arms, and feels scales pressed against her back. Her arm is searing with pain, but she barely notices it as her eyes adjust to the darkness. Hiccup is curled up against her--groaning, but alive.

Not sure she’ll ever get another chance, she puts a hand on his cheek and finally tells him the truth. “I love you.”

He opens his eyes and looks, gaze shocked until a slow realization washes over him. He smiles. “I love you, too.”

They both pass out, still wrapped up in each other.

When the flames clear, Stoick sees what looks like a pile of dragons, all pressed together with their wings folded in. Slowly, they lift their wings to reveal two humans--charred in places, but alive.

Wracked with guilt, Stoick realizes he was wrong. Hiccup’s new bodyguard helped his son become stronger and braver than the chief of Berk ever imagined.

It turns out taking down the queen saved the dragons and the humans, and thanks to Hiccup, Anna, and their dragon friends, Berk will never have to worry about dragon raids again.

It turns out Hiccup’s leg and Anna’s arm didn’t quite make it out of the fire. Luckily, Gobber has always been handy at prosthetics--and Hiccup manages to make a fairly dextrous and functional metal hand for Anna. Anna is utterly delighted with how cool it looks.

After the whole Red Death incident, it’s decided that Hiccup is probably competent enough that he doesn’t need his own bodyguard anymore. Nonetheless, Anna is welcome to stay in Berk as long as she likes. And with new dragon friends and an incredibly cute new boyfriend, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon!

***

This is in reference to this post! I’ve already done these questions for Moanida. Theoretically still willing to do any questions I haven’t yet for Hiccanna and Moanida, although these were exhausting to write out so I might not give as long of answers XD

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #otp questions #hiccup haddock #princess anna #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #rotbtd #rotbtfd #httyd #frozen #crossover

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sunshinejihyun · 4 years ago

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The Three Times He Realized He’s in Love || Zen Ryu

Summary: A story told through the eyes of Zen about the highs and lows of his first love.

Word Count: 5.0K

Masterlist

The first time Zen realized he was in love with you was at the second RFA party. You were there with a date, and Zen wasn’t him.

“Zen!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms around your best friend’s neck. “Come dance with me!” The official party was over but you, Zen, and the rest of the RFA stayed behind at the venue, opting to take advantage of the open bar.

Zen rolled his eyes and rested his hands on your hips, failing to notice Jumin glaring at him from across the room. “You’re drunk, MC.”

You brushed your nose against Zen’s, looking at him adoringly and he huffed as he felt your breath brush over his lips. This was torture to him, absolute torture. “Of course I’m drunk, since none of you are using the open bar, I might as well give our bartender something to do!” You ran your hand gently through his hair and giggled as Zen leaned slightly into your touch. “Speaking of being drunk, why aren’t you?”

This wasn’t like you, in the year or so that he’d come to know you, he never once saw you with a drink in your hand. Now, you’re standing in front of him, your cheeks permanently rosy as you talked to him, standing way too close for someone who arrived on the arm of the trust fund kid. “Someone has to be sober enough to make sure you don’t make stupid decisions since apparently your date can’t do that.”

You brought your face as close to his ear as you could, despite the obvious height difference and Zen’s breath hitched. “Come on Zen,” your lips were so close to his ear, close enough for your breath to brush against his throat and Zen was sure you could feel his pulse racing. “Live a little.” You smiled and whipped your head towards Jumin who called your name. Looking back at Zen apologetically, you let go of his neck. “I should go, I’m sorry.”

When you walked away, Zen’s heart cracked and he called out to you. “Don’t drink too much more! Jumin will actually kill me. I heard he has people to do that job.”

You turned back to Zen and sent him a wink. “I’ll be fine, Zen. I’ll find you later.” You blew him a playful kiss, something that he should be used to by now but definitely wasn’t and Zen felt his neck and cheeks heat up.

“See ya later,” he called back, but you were already with Jumin, laughing and smiling and trying to get him to dance with you, although there was no music. If it was Zen in that position, he’d have pulled you close and sang in your ear as you slow danced together.

Zen wandered around the party venue for a while before finding a quiet room and taking a moment to breathe. Flopping down on a huge chair, he took his hair out of the ponytail he was currently sporting and he sighed. God, was he an idiot. How stupid was he to believe that he had a chance with you, his best friend in the whole world, the girl he shared a toasted marshmellow with at the first RFA party, the girl who was dating his sworn mortal enemy.

Zen didn’t mean to fall in love with you, not in the slightest. He loved having you as a best friend and in all honesty, he didn’t even realize he was in love with you until a few weeks ago. You were sitting on one end of his couch, silently answering emails that party guests had sent you, and he was sitting on the other, muttering the lines for his new role to himself under his breath.

“Do you need help?” You had set aside your laptop and was now looking at Zen, curling into the cushions more.

Zen looked up and his heart stopped. This was the first sign he felt something more than friendship towards you. You were wearing one of his sweatshirts he had earlier hung over the end of the couch that he told himself he would remember to put away. He didn’t, and now he was so grateful for that, and for the fact that he liked to keep his place cold, so that he could see you in his clothing. “If you’d like to help, that’d be good. But I know you’re busy so if you need to keep preparing for the party, please do so. I can always practice in the bathroom mirror, so I can look at myself to make sure my expressions are right.”

You silently held out your hand for the script he had been agonizing over and he gave it to you, moving closer to you so that he could see the script as well when you ran lines with him. With your elbows bumping together every once in a while, you stayed up until early morning with Zen working on his lines and facial expressions and when you fell asleep in the middle of him practicing one of his monologues, he felt his heart burst with adoration for you. This wasn’t how he should feel for a friend.

After sitting and wallowing in self doubt for a while, Zen decided it was time to head home. It was late, he was tired, and quite frankly, he was just ready to be alone, and this party was starting to drag on a little too long for his liking. So pulling up his metaphorical big boy pants, Zen marched down the stairs and when he reached the bottom, you were practically in his arms.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” You almost purred this into Zen’s ear and hell, if it wasn’t causing him to feel all these types of feelings he shouldn’t feel for his best friend. He had to remind himself that this was the alcohol in your system talking. You were dating Jumin and you only ever thought of Zen as a best friend.

“I was in another room. Hey, I should head home.” You pushed a piece of hair out of your face

Zen started leading you to the light switch on the other side of the room. As light filled the room, there was a collective groan from the rest of the RFA members who were hanging out in the dark. “Sorry guys, I’m heading home.” Zen called out to your friends, making you pout and throw your arms around his neck again in a tight hug.

Zen’s arms barely wrapped around your middle before Jumin made his way over you the both of you. “Darling, are you ready to go home?” Jumin asked you, tightly smiling at the position he had found you and Zen in. Zen’s arms went limp and he gently detached your arms from around his neck.

You slowly turned your head towards Jumin, a smile still plastered on your face and you blinked once, the smile disappearing. “Yeah sure,” you turned back towards Zen, who was still trying to get the feel of your body against his out of his mind and you gave him another tight squeeze. “Don’t be a stranger. I’ll see you soon.”

Jumin silently escorted you to the car that was waiting for the both of you and you climbed into the back seat after Jumin, already reaching for the music when Driver Kim started the car. “Can we please keep it quiet? My head hurts,”

You retracted your hand, quickly picking up on the fact that Jumin was upset at something. “What’s wrong?”

Jumin’s hands clenched the fabric of his pants and it took all he had in him not to pull you into his lap and whisper in your ear how you were his, and only his; tell you how jealous he was over your friendship with Zen. “Nothing’s wrong, darling. I’m fine.”

You sighed and rested your hand on Jumin’s thigh and he set his right hand over your left. “Jumin, I may be drunk, but I’m not stupid. I know when my boyfriend’s upset. What’s wrong?”

Jumin shook his head, watching out the window as the car pulled up to the front entrance of the penthouse that you and he now lived in together. “It’s stupid, forget it.”

You shook your head and unbuckled your seatbelt. “Jumin, I don’t feel so good.”

He laughed. “I wouldn’t expect you to feel great. You drank a lot tonight.”

You shook your head, pressing a hand to your chest. “No, like I really don’t feel good. I think I’m gonna pass out.”

Jumin ran a hand up and down his face, taking a deep breath, which was a clear sign he was stressed, and got out of the car, walking over to your side and picking you up. “Let’s get you inside and into bed. You just need some rest.” You silently agreed, pressing your nose into the side of his neck and peppering kisses on the underside of his chin. “MC, you should stop. You’re drunk and I don’t want us to do anything we might regret in the morning.”

You pouted against his neck, but stopped your attack on his jawline and Jumin escorted you both to the shared bedroom you both had been sleeping in for the past year. By the time he had gotten changed into pajamas, you were fast asleep on top of the bed, your party dress still on and makeup smudged across your face and Jumin felt his heart thud in his chest with adoration as he watched you sleep, wondering how lucky he was to have someone like you love him.

The first time Zen got his heart broken by you was a week after the finale night. You were laying on his bed, giggling as Jumin continued to text you.

“Do you want to play Super Mario Bros?” Zen had spent 10 minutes pulling out his old Gamecube because he knew you loved to play on it.

You looked up from your phone and it was like you were in a trance. You were there physically but mentally, you were with Jumin. “Sorry, what?”

Zen’s face fell and he could tell you had no idea what you were doing wrong. “I said: do you wanna play this game with me?”

You sighed and rolled off his bed, grabbing your wool sweater off his floor; it got hot so you took it off, opting to just have the black long sleeved shirt on that you always wore underneath. “I should probably get going, Jumin will be home soon and will expect me to be there.”

Zen rubbed a hand over his face, something he noticed he was doing a lot more than usual; he was more stressed than usual which made him more stressed, since stress lead to pimples. He had finally gotten used to the fact that you were dating that jerk, and now he also had to deal with the fact that he was pretty sure he was in love with you? “Okay, I can drive you home.”

He went to go grab a sweatshirt and his motorcycle keys but you put a hand on his arm, stopping him. “Driver Kim is waiting, but thank you for the offer!” Stopping to slightly ruffle his hair, you smiled down brightly at him. “I’ll see you soon!”

Zen felt the bitter sting of rejection in the back of his mouth as he watched you walk off, smiling at something on your phone. Probably a message from Jumin, something that Zen desperately didn’t want to hear about, but something he wanted to do for himself.

The first time Zen got his heart broken by you was on a Monday morning. Zen pulled his motorcycle to the front of the penthouse at 9:40 AM, giving two quick beeps to signal to you that he was there. You and he were going to meet up with Yoosung to help him move out of his apartment. Now that he had finished school, he was going to move in with Zen to save some money while looking for a job. And let’s be honest, them living together would probably be a good thing since Yoosung didn’t take good care of himself and Zen needed something to focus on other than you and his acting gigs, since when he was thinking about practicing now, his mind wandered back to you on his couch that night.

You of course offered up your help when Yoosung had asked for some help packing things and since you volunteered, so did Zen. He watched you open the door and he watched you walk down the front steps of you house, a smile playing on your lips.

“Good weekend?” Zen asked you as you sat yourself down behind him, buckling the helmet he always had strapped to the back of his motorcycle now.

“The best,” the smile still hasn’t left your face. Zen loved to see you happy, don’t get him wrong, but he knew you were happy because of Jumin and that killed him, more than he would like to admit. “Can I tell you something?”

Zen glanced at you as he continued watching your fingers struggle with the buckle before playfully batting your hands away and buckling it on his own. “I’m your best friend,” Zen found that recently, had trouble saying that phrase but he did nonetheless. “You can tell me anything.”

You glanced at the light haired boy and he looked back at you, giving you a reassuring smile. “Jumin’s talking about us starting to plan a wedding.”

Zen’s heart fell to his feet with those words and you looked down, picking at the chipped nail polish on your fingers. “Congrats,”

Zen couldn’t think. His head was pounding and his breathing was starting to become erratic. He started his motorcycle and waited until your arms were wrapped comfortably around his midsection- he didn’t want to start riding until he was sure you were holding on safe. “Are you okay?” You shouted over the wind blowing as he started to pick up speed. “Listen Zen, I know it’s a big deal but this was always going to happen.”

He zoned you out, not wanting to hear about this right now. Motorcycle riding was supposed to be his escape from reality but right now, it seemed he had to face reality more than ever. And the reality was that he wanted to be the one planning a wedding with you. He wanted to be the one to make you smile and hold you when you were upset. He wanted to put on silly performances with ridiculous costumes just to hear your laugh at any time he would like. He didn’t want you with Jumin, not in the slightest.

You looked shut your mouth quickly once you realized Zen wasn’t paying attention, hurt at the way he brushed you off. Once he pulled up to Yooosung’s apartment building, you immediately got off the bike and started to head up to his door. “Zen, I’ll be back in a moment and then you and I can go get tape and boxes together.”

“Don’t bother,” Zen spat but it was too late, you were already too far away to hear him. As soon as you were out of sight, Zen broke down, tears streaming down his face faster than he thought possible.

There was a gentle hand resting on his shoulder and Zen hastily brushed the tears away that were on his cheeks and chin. Looking up, he saw Yoosung standing next to him, an apologetic look on his face. “What happened?”

Zen blew his nose into a tissue that he had in his pocket, Yoosung cringing at the noise. “Jumin happened,” Hestayed quiet, waiting for Zen to continue. “Stupid Jumin came and just wooed MC and took her away from me before I could even have a chance and-”

“You love her,” Yoosungstated, staring at Zen. He nodded, more tears starting to well up in his eyes.

“I love her so much, man. And she broke my heart.”

The second time Zen realized he was in love with you was when you showed up crying at his doorstep at 11:07 PM, three months after he had last seen you. He didn’t blame you for not coming around, you were busy planning a wedding and whenever you talked about it, Zen would withdraw himself from the conversation. He just didn’t want to hear about it. “MC?”

You wiped at your eyes, looking at Zen. “I’m sorry I know you’re mad at me for whatever reason and I probably shouldn’t even be here but I needed to see you.”

Zen felt his resolve fall away and he pulled you into his arms, his shirt slowly starting to wet because of the tears falling. “What’s going on?”

“I’m pregnant,” you sobbed out and Zen felt the world crash around him. He tightened his arms around you, opting to stay silent. “Zen, I’m so stupid. A kid was never supposed to be part of the plan and I know Jumin doesn’t even want one. I don’t know what to do.”

“Shh,” Zen quieted you, rocking you back and forth. “I’m not gonna lie, that sucks.” You let out a breathy laugh and Zen’s heart swelled with affection at that sound. “But we can get through this. Together.”

“Jumin doesn’t want anything to do with the baby.” Zen felt his pulse quicken when you looked at him with big eyes. “Or me, for that matter.”

“I can help you raise this baby, MC. We can move in together. I don’t have to work late hours anymore. I-I was supposed to go on tour but I can decline the role. I just want to be there for you.”

“You’re not giving up work, Zen. You can’t.” You smiled sadly and rested a hand on his knee and this time, he set his hand protectively over yours. “I’ll be okay. Jaehee can help me, my mom can help me-”

“But MC! That kid needs a father figure in their life.” Your tears had stopped and you turned to Zen.

“Zen, stop. I know what you’re trying to do and you can’t. Your work is your entire life. It’s so incredibly important to you. You cannot let me hold you back from that.”

“You wouldn’t be holding me back I lo-” You cut Zen off by pressing your lips to his.

“I know, I do too. But you can’t give this up yet. Not when your career is just starting to take off.” Zen nodded, pressing his left hand to his lips.

“I can’t give this up yet.” Zen repeated back, almost like he was trying to convince himself more than anything and you rested your head on his shoulder, him wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”

“I hope,” you whispered back, burying yourself more into his side as Zen pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

The second time Zen got his heart broken by you was two years after he went on tour because his musical career kicked off. He left without saying goodbye and cut off communication with everyone from the RFA, ready for a fresh start. He had decided to not meet up with Saeran and Saeyoung for Christmas the first year, even though they had offered him a spot in their ‘orphan Christmas celebration’ and opted to work on his new role that he was going to be starting once this tour ended. For summer break, he went on a backpacking trip in Europe with the girl he was dating then. Her name was Ivy and she was sweet and pretty and liked the same things as he did but she was not you.

So sucking it up for the second winter break off his tour, Zen returned home and found himself on the doorstep of the Choi household before he even stopped to say hello to Yoosung, which he promised he’d do when he came home. He knocked on the door, three taps and before he could do a fourth, the door was ripped open and Zen was face to face with Saeyoung. “Uh, hey, Seven.”

He opened the door for Zen to walk inside and Zen nodded his head, thankful for the heat. “Uncle Saeyoung! Come look at what mommy got me!”

A young boy ran up to Saeyoung, wrapping his little arms around his bigger legs and Saeyoung picked up the boy, tapping him on the nose. “I’ll come look in a second, we have a guest over right now.”

“Saeyoung you’ll never believe…” You walked in the room, smiling at something you were holding in your hands and looked towards your friend, the smile dropping off your face when you saw Zen. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were back.”

Your stance made it very clear how you felt: you were mad. Your hips were cocked to one side and your arms were crossed across your chest. “I just got back off the tour, like, literally ten minutes ago.”

Zen awkwardly looked at Saeyoung, hoping for him to help. He Looked towards your son and shrugged. “Come on, Will, we should go find Uncle Saeran and you can tell him and I all about what mommy got you, okay?”

You and Zen both watched helplessly as Chelsea walked into the next room and Zen heard Henrik exclaim something in the next room. “Saeran? Saeyoung?”

You looked at Zen and he felt his face heat up under your gaze. “Yeah, turns out Seven had a twin brother who was the hacker that first introduced me to the RFA. After all that came out, he decided he wanted to stop changing identities and finally be able to live life as himself.”

“So, um, how are you?” Zen awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck.

“No, no. You don’t get to do that, Zen. Leave for two years without so much as a postcard and then you come into my home and try to make small talk with me?” You walked closer to him and jabbed a finger in the middle of his chest. “You offered to be my child’s father and then you leave without so much as a goodbye? What happened to getting through this together, Zen? Huh? Because as far as I can tell, it’s only been me, Saeyoung, and Saeran who’s been raising this child.”

Zen stood still, for once in his life, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t have a joke to crack, he didn’t have a sincere apology to give you. His mind went blank, all he could think about was you, that night on his doorstep: so fragile, and he held you like he thought you were fine china. Like one wrong move and you would break. You weren’t that same girl anymore; something happened to you after he left and he wanted so badly to reach out and hold you close to him, and beg you to talk to him, let him help now. But you wouldn’t let him, so Zen kept still.

“Zen!” Jaehee calling his name brought Zen out of the staring contest you and he were seeming to have. “It’s so nice to see you! When did you get home?”

Jaejee embraced Zen and he hugged her back, trying to detangle himself from the situation he was in. “Um, actually just a few minutes ago. I stopped by to say hello to MC but I promised Yoosung I’d say hi as soon as I got back, so I should get going.”

“Nonsense, stay for dinner. Come and catch up!” Jaehee Was either ignoring the daggers in your stare was just oblivious but either way she wasn’t taking the hint. Zen was sure it was because she wanted information about the tour and to maybe get exclusive information to share with the fan club, which has now skyrocketed since his career took off.

“He said he had to get going.” Your stern look made Jaehee close her mouth and throw her hands up, silently walking out of the room. “I’ll show you to the door, Zen.”

“MC, please. Talk to me. What happened while I was away?” Zen put a hand over your hand that was on the door handle and you stopped for a second, closing your eyes and letting out a heavy sigh.

“Zen, remember all those times where you didn’t want to talk to me?” Zen nodded, his eyes searching to reach yours. “I respected that and I left you alone. Now, I need you to respect that I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Mommy? Who is that?” Zen heard your son ask you after Zen had stepped out the door. He saw Saeran and Saeyoung come into view right before the door closed and Zen felt his heart ache as he watched his friend with his long lost brother.

“He’s an old friend, Will. He doesn’t matter.” Zen heard you mutter before the door was slammed in his face, his heart falling on the cement in front of him.

The third time Zen really realized he was still madly in love with you was also the first time you told Zen that you were in love with him was three weeks after he showed up at your doorstep. He had already gone back on tour and wasn’t expecting any visitors to show up at his hotel room, let alone have it be you.

“Hey,” you shifted your weight from one foot to another. “Are you gonna let me come in?”

Zen wordlessly opened the door wider and you stepped in, following Zen to the musky smelling couch that all hotel rooms seemed to have and sat down next to him.

“I thought you made it pretty clear a few weeks ago, MC. You don’t want anything to do with me.” Zen was confused, not only about why you were in California in his hotel room, but why after all this time and separation did he still want to pull you into his arms and kiss you until you were breathless.

“That’s the thing, Zen. That’s not what I wanted. I was upset, and rightfully so. You left for two years without so much as a word. I missed you, there was so much I wanted to tell you. So much happened-”

“What happened with Jumin after I left? Yoosung told me you guys got back together.” Zen shifted so he could look at you, really look at you. And his heart ached. He hates the unknown of those two years; so much could have happened.

“That didn’t last long. He wasn’t a good parent to Will, even though he did try to be. Some people just aren’t meant to be parents and so we mutually decided that was the end of us, and I moved in with Saeran and Saeyoung.” Making eye contact with you for the first time in years, Zen felt his heart flutter like he was back in high school. “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m here?”

Laughing, Zen hesitantly put his arm around your shoulders and when you leaned into his touch, he smiled victoriously to himself. “I was getting there,”

“I came because I needed to tell you something,” you wouldn’t look at Zen but he could tell you were nervous, picking off nail polish on your fingers, like you always did. “Something I should have told you all those nights ago on your doorstep.”

“What is it, MC?” Zen’s heart felt like it was in his throat and he rubbed his hand up and down your shoulder encouragingly.

“I want my kid to grow up to be like you, I want you in his life, influencing him. Showing him how to be a gentleman and how to treat people kindly. I want you to show him that it’s okay to be vulnerable. I want him to grow up thinking that it’s okay to cry. I want you to be the father that he needs, not the father that he has.”

“MC, I really don’t think you mean-”

“I do mean it though.” You insisted. “I want him to grow up to be like the man I loved. The man I still do love.” You looked Zen intensely in the eyes and he looked back at you.

“What are you saying?” Zen wanted to believe what he was hearing was what he hoped was what you were actually saying, but there was a part of him that needed confirmation. The same part of him that felt like he was going to throw up from the nerves.

“I’m saying that I love you, Zen. And that I have loved you since that night that we practiced lines together. Maybe even before then, who knows. Yes, Jumin was my first love, that will never change. But you will forever be my las love. I can’t imagine loving anyone as intensely as I love you.”

Zen didn’t wait for you to continue saying anything else before pressing his lips to yours softly. You two had shared a kiss or two in the past but this one felt different. Both of your feelings were laying out on the table in front of you and the feelings were so fragile after being put out in the open.

“In case that didn’t speak for itself, I love you too, MC. So much more than you could ever imagine.” Zen was a man of many words, most of them coming out beautifully and poetically but right then and there, he couldn’t think of anything to say other than that. And you were okay with that, because his actions spoke more volumes than anything else ever could.

#zen x mc #zen ryu #hyun ryu #zen mystic messenger #zenny the beautiful #my writing #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger fan fiction #zen x mc fanfic

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mc-slowwalker · 3 years ago

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shipping to australia is a nightmare. anytime I go to do any online shopping I’m instantly stopped by the thought of shipping. hahahahahahaha at least that’d be a funny way to go out tho

yeah true!! every time I’m watching a vod I’ll get so startled cause they always pop up when you’re least expecting them too. I’ve only got my prime sub and I haven’t tested it but I have a feeling that twitch would still give you ads. they seem like the type

so true I’m not paying hundreds of dollars for textbooks I’m barely gonna use for half a year. oof that sucks. if I didn’t google my way through those exams I guarantee I would have failed though😅😅 then one subject that was ungoogleable, I did fail. god now I feel bad about how terrible a student I am

it’s so nice to see dream being on streams and having fun and interacting with other people !! it sucks cause I would absolutely LOVE to see dream on ppsat but I hate the idea of toxic people that would find reasons to shit on them :// like with gartic phone the other day. I felt like so toxic when the twitter updates account tweeted that dream was there cause I knew the “twitter stans” were coming. and I don’t even have a terribly negative view of stans as a whole. and then turns out it was justified and then I felt even worse. the gumi stuff pissed me off too. feeling a bit bad for dream tho. mans can’t even play with his friends without them getting attacked. I clicked on the links in your subtitle/heading/whatever it’s called when I first followed you like 6 or so months ago. was pretty funny

damnnn you’re doing all of those?? that’s tough. I dropped language (french) in yr 10 and decided to never touch maths again after I finished highschool and I loweky like maths too. oh I will 100% be telling people to touch grass that is so funny. I also can’t say anything about the nerd thing cause I just fully had the thought “what if I write an essay on the internet and it’s effect on language development”

Yes!! please tales!! where is it!! my weekly dose of happiness. I remember the last tales stream I watched like it was yesterday😪 I miss the ____ my beloved gifs that would be everywhere everytime a new character was introduced. I may have very little clue about any of the in between/the other side lore but damn were the builds insanely good. I was watching tubbo’s stream too and he said there wasn’t anything to do on the dream smp and like true ig but🥲🥲 he also said he’s been thinking about lore on twitter tho!!! so there is that !! hmm yeah I do wonder what they’re waiting for actually cause it’s been genuinely so long that c!dream’s been in the prison for. I wanna why it’s so important cause cc!dream and cc!sam put a lot of emphasis on it. and I just really really want to see what c!dream will be like out of the prison. for so many reasons

oh nooo ripppp. that’s kinda funny tho. the video was so short that was funny too. sapnap and george 2000iq moment nice. it was a nice vid tho, chill and enjoyable. so much dream content recently I feel like he’s about to drop off the face of the earth or miraculously stream something (highly unlikely but I can hope)

When streamers runs ads you gey a warning! But when vods do it it’s just a hey haha fuck you! You’re 100% right about twitch jeff bezo wouldn’t let any thing go to waste. He’s not the ceo right now but I hate him anyways. I’ve never actually used prime sub because I don’t have amazon prime, but I’ve been gifted subs a couple of times which was neat!

You know I may not be the best student but as someone who has cried a lot because of school I think it’s morally correct to be a bad student Cheat!! You’re paying then money they owe your ass so fucking much!! Abuse their resources stick it to the man. No time in life for guilt especially considering that universities are just corporations anyways they made hide behind the guise of learning but I’m calling them out no way knowledge gotta cost this much

I also love seeing dream stream with his other friends! To badly quote scott smajor, the dream team is made up of anti social sweaty fucks (affectionate). He’s always so awkward at first and ngl? Huge confidence booster /j/j. Logically I understand that twitter update accounts are useful, but I think they should all collectively take a break for a minute. Would it change anything? No. But it would make a lot of people very unhappy. I don’t even know what to do about toxic twitter stans because like, content creators and us can call them out and not at all condone their actions but we can’f actually do anything about it? It’s super frustrating. And I feel like a hypocrite too because if dream does stuff with a cc I hate I bitch about it too I just don’t have as far a reach. Like I for sure threw a whole fit when dream went on to kaceytron’s stream. Actually I tend to get upset when he goes onto streams with people who actively hate him. So I struggle with that because despite feeling like I’m justified in doing that, twitter stans feel justified in their stuff too. You could argue that it’s different because the chance that the ccs will see it is near 0 but it’s still the same behavior isn’t it? For sure not saying twitter stans are right, they piss me off how dare they say shit about gumi, but also I worry that I act similar you know?

I’m glad is was amusing I haven’t gotten any angry anons so I can never tell if the links are working or not

Listen listen it’s less that I chose this and more that they’re requirements. Spanish is a req, but I’ve always really liked spanish? I’ve found with learning languages I have to be interested in the lanrguage’s history/culture. So french makes me mad but spanish makes me feel cozy and I like it! I pick up spanish pretty fast too and I’d like to be actually fluent in it some day. Language as a whole is super interesting. Also the internet has made language even more interesting with widespread similarities and what not

Listen I would agree more with tubbo but instead Imm going to lighheartedly call him a coward who’s afraid of surprise lore! He said he would be there more often if other people logged on more often but I know for a fact other people feel the same and by him not regularly logging on he’s adding to it! I think foolish, ponk, puffy, and bbh have really upped my standards for lore. They log on at least once a week and make their own plot. Like bro if you’re bored start some shit tommy style! Personally I would make enemies with all the beets people. Tubbo has such cool lore I just wish he was willing to be a little more spontaneous. He was tired last night though so I can see his boredom beinf effected by that. I really really enjoyed bear smp those guys were so fucking funny and I will be watching more of them. Need to catch up on hermitcraft too

Who’s to say he can’t drop off the face of the planet and stream? He can multitask. Also hems been big on reddit recently so we’ll see where that leads ajddj

#anon #ask #long post

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seokmattchuus · 5 years ago

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Fuck Away The Pain - Hyungwon

A/n: I don’t even know what this is, ngl. It kinda sucks, but ya girl’s sad from an ex and I’m deep in my Hyungwon feels so this happened. Let it flop, idc, tbh. I just wanted to write it. Also, issa long one, sorry.

“Y/n..” - 10:47 pm

“I know this is uncalled for, but” - 10:47 pm

“I really miss you.” - 10:48 pm

“I really wanna see you. Can I come by later?” - 10:49 pm

“Can we try again?” - 10:50 pm

You stood there, staring at your phone, tears welling in your eyes as you shoved you phone into your pocket and quickly wiped at your eyes. Of course, your ex, Min, would pick the best timing to try to ‘fix’ things.

It was movie night at the Monsta X dorm. You’d never been, but your best friend, Hyungwon had invited you this time, knowing that you’d needed some kind of comfort while you went through your breakup. He figured inviting you over for a movie would be best since you weren’t the clubbing type.

And of course, Min had to ruin that too.

You were in the middle of scooping ice cream into bowls with Hyungwon to put in the freezer for later when your phone went off.

You ignored it of course, thinking it was some spam calls since everyone knew you were busy tonight. But it wasn’t until when Hoseok, Jooheon, and Hyunwoo came back from the store with all the snacks that you checked it, not wanting the constant sound to bother anyone.

You excused yourself to the restroom so you could check your phone in private, but rolled your eyes when you saw that it was Min that called.

A good amount of times.

When you hadn’t answered, he resorted to text messages, which led you to your current situation.

Crying against the sink in your best friend’s shared dorm.

It wasn’t really an “I missed you” kind of crying, but more of a “what fucking nerve do you have to message me this kind of shit” kind of crying.

Min had ended things just shy of a month ago. It wasn’t like you didn’t see it coming, you just refused to think about him wanting to break off your three year relationship. You just couldn’t, well, more like you didn’t, want to see it.

Until you’re birthday came around and he hadn’t planed anything.

It wasn’t that you wanted him to do anything big or extravagant, a simple acknowledgement would’ve sufficed. But no. He hadn’t texted or called at all throughout the day.

It wasn’t until later that night when you and your friends posed for a picture to post on your Instagram that he finally texted you.

“So you’re out with that guy again?”

Had it not been for your male friends, including Hyungwon, he probably wouldn’t have contacted you at all.

It was that moment that you realized everything was falling apart. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t love you. Not to mention that he spent that whole day with some girl from his workplace. Your friend being the one to tell you the day after your birthday, not wanting to kill your mood.

It was a week after that when he finally ended things. Claiming that you just weren’t good enough for him anymore. That he needed something new, more exciting. To be put simply, that he was just bored of you after being with you for so long.

You had no objections, nor arguments. There was no point. There was nothing in your relationship worth saving. You just went home and packed all the things he left at your house while he packed yours, traded off the next day, and that was that. He hadn’t contacted you since, and for him to finally text you after this whole time, what was he expecting? For you to jump at the opportunity? Welcome him back with open arms?

When you finally managed to get your feelings under control, you turned to look at yourself in the mirror, cringing at how puffy your eyes were. How were you supposed to go back out there? You’d already been in the restroom for a good while, if you stayed any longer-

“Y/n, you okay?” Your train of thought was cut off as Hyungwon knocked on the door.

You sniffled and cleared your throat. “Yeah! Be out in a minute.” You called out before rinsing off your face and drying it on the towel. “You can do this.” You whispered to yourself.

When you walked out, Hyungwon was standing in front of the door, his hand out to stop you from walking past him.

“You’re not okay.” He stated. “You sniffled and your voice sounds like you were crying.”

“I’m fine, Hyungwon.” You sighed. “Min’s just being an asshole, that’s all.”

“What’d he say?” His tone changed.

“Basically that he misses me, and wants to come by later and try to work things out.” You shook your head. “I don’t want to ruin your movie night, but I don’t want to go home either. What am I supposed to do if he comes by?”

“You can stay here tonight. I’ll lend you some clothes.” He said nonchalantly.

“I could-” You started, but were cut off.

“Y/n. We’ve been friends since middle school.” He started. “This is nothing. I’ll sleep on the floor, or on the couch if you want me to. But I don’t want you going back to your place if he’s gonna show up. He doesn’t deserve a chance to even think about you after everything he’s done.”

“B-”

“No ‘but’s.” He shook his head. “You’re staying here, and that’s final. Now hurry up before they start the movie without us.” He smiled, pulling you into a big hug, his scent engulfing you.

You weren’t gonna lie, hugging him was more than comforting at this point, and you wanted nothing more than to stay like this, but sadly, you had to pull away.

“C’mon, let’s go.” He smiled, dropping his arms so you could both make your way back to the living room where Kihyun was setting a movie order while Minhyuk and Changkyun were setting up the living room to make it more comfy.

“And they didn’t go off to fuck, you owe me $15.” Hoseok laughed at Hyunwoo.

“Cut it out.” Hyungwon glared. “Even if we did, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it around you dumbasses.”

You felt the heat rise to cheeks. Sure, Hyungwon was attractive, but you’d never thought of him like that.

Or at least that you wanted to acknowledge.

“Okay!” Kihyun clapped from his spot. “I finally have an order.” He said happily. “Now let’s move everything to the coffee table so we can start.”

After everything was situated, you, Hyungwon and Minhyuk sat on the couch with you in the middle. Hyunwoo and Jooheon took the recliners, and the rest made themselves comfortable on the floor.

You were halfway into the movie when Minhyuk moved from his spot beside you to go to the restroom, causing you to lean a little too close into Hyungwon’s side in an effort to get comfortable. Which also caused him to shift a little, you brushing it off as him trying to adjust.

After the first movie, Changkyun had asked Jooheon and Hyunwoo to help him get the ice cream.

“Do you feel any better?” Hyungwon leaned down to whisper.

“Kinda?” You whispered back. “I just can’t get him out of my mind.” You shrugged.

“Give me your phone.” He said, pulling away from you and holding his hand out.

“Why?”

“Just give it to me.” He smiled.

You were hesitant, but reached into your pocket, and gave it to him nonetheless.

“I’ll take care of it later, I promise.” He smiled down at you as the guys came back with bowls of ice cream.

“Kihyun…” Hoseok whispered, poking the boy with his foot lightly, laughing as he tipped over. “Are you seriously asleep right now?”

“Bro, we did just watch like, four movies in a row.” Changkyun yawned. “Hyunwoo and Minhyuk fell asleep too. Let’s just call it a night.”

“But we still have one more to watch.” Hoseok pouted.

“Well you can watch it yourself.” Hyungwon stated, stretching as he got off the couch, helping you up. “Y/n’s spending the night by the way.”

“Hmmm.” Hoseok wiggled his brows, earning a pillow thrown at him.

“Like I said before, cut it out.” He said flatly. “Next time it won’t be a pillow.” Hyungwon threatened before walking to his room.

“Night guys.” You whispered before following Hyungwon to his room, where he pulled out some boxers and a long flannel, holding them out to you.

“You can go change in the restroom if you want.” He smiled softly.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here?” You shied away from his offer.

“Yes. I’m sure.” He said while shoving you towards the bathroom. “Now go change.” He said, dropping the clothes into your hands.

With a huff, you did as you were told, and changed into the long flannel that smelled like Hyungwon’s favorite cologne, and slipped into the boxers. After changing, and folding your clothes, you looked in the mirror, feeling slightly unsure of yourself.

It wasn’t like this was new. You and Hyungwon weren’t strangers. You had plenty of movie nights throughout high school where he let you wear his hoodies for comfort.

You’d always been close so this was nothing out of the ordinary for you. But something just felt different, and you couldn’t figure it out.

Maybe it was the way his members seemed to keep pushing the thought of you two. Or maybe since you were still upset over Min, staying with Hyungwon seemed different.

Maybe because you weren’t in high school anymore.

Maybe because it wasn’t just his hoodie this time.

“You’re just a mess right now, y/n. It’s nothing.” You whispered to yourself, shaking your head while you ran a stressed hand through your hair before walking out of the restroom and back to Hyungwon’s room, deciding to lighten the mood, you struck a pose at his doorway.

“How do I look?” You quirked a brow, and Hyungwon’s eyes raked over your frame, and lingered a little too long on your exposed legs before meeting your eyes with a smile.

“Like a model.” He laughed, and pulled out your phone. “Should we do a photo shoot to make it real?”

“Wow, Mr. Model wants to give me a photo shoot?” You wiped a fake tear. “I feel honored.” You smiled. “But I can’t pose for shit.”

“Just do what you were just doing.” He said, holding your phone dramatically, while positioning himself on the floor, waiting for you to pose, snapping the picture once you did. “Not so bad, Miss. Newbie.” He smiled, getting up and showing you the picture. “How about you smile, though?” He suggested.

“I was smiling though.” You pouted.

“You need to smile bigger. Like you’re laughing.” He mocked your pout as he positioned the camera again. “Hurry up, my arm’s getting tired.” He laughed.

You took a total of ten pictures, all directed by Hyungwon and in all honesty, as you both sat on the floor looking through them, they weren’t that bad.

“I like this one the most.” You pointed to the one that had you pouting at the lens.

“Well, I like this one the most.” He pointed to the one with you smiling while your head rested on your arm.

“Well,” You started. “Thank you for the photo shoot, Mr. Chae.” You laughed. “It made me feel better.”

“That’s what friends are for.” He smiled back at you. “It’s getting late, you should probably sleep.” He said, getting up. “I still haven’t changed, so let me grab my clothes and I’ll be out of your way.” He smiled, going to his drawers and pulling out a pair of pajama pants and making his way out to change.

“Hyungwon,” You called out before he left the room fully. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, or the floor. I can instead.” You offered, getting up.

“You know I won’t let you.” He said softly.

“But I feel bad. It’s your bed, after all.” You shrugged.

“Then we can just share it?” He questioned, looking over at you.

“I guess we could.” You avoided his gaze, looking down at the bed, and back at him.

“Guess I need a shirt then.” He said, walking towards his closet and grabbing a shirt.

“You don’t sleep with a shirt on?” You quirked a brow at him.

“Not really. It’s uncomfortable.” He shrugged, walking out to go change.

You sighed and sat on the bed, moving the covers to the side so you could make a spot for yourself and tracing random nothing’s onto his comforter.

Maybe things were different this time. Here you were, after a breakup, laying in your best friend’s bed, wearing his clothes, while you were about to sleep in his bed.

“Comfortable?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? Yeah.” You looked up at him. “Your blanket’s really soft.” You mumbled softly.

“That’s why I bought it.” He laughed at your statement before pulling the cover up and sliding under, too.

“I know you need music to sleep, so is there anything you wanna hear?” He said, pulling your phone out, looking through your playlist.

“Why don’t you sing for me?” You asked. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice.”

A hint of red tinted his cheeks at the statement and you smiled.

“You know your voice is my favorite.” You moved so your head laid on the back of your hands and you looked at him.

“Don’t look at me.” He smirked. “It makes me shy.”

“Mr. Model gets shy?” You quirked a brow. “Interesting.” You smiled before closing your eyes. “I’m still gonna face this way, though.”

“Stubborn little thing.” He chuckled before clearing his throat. “Any recommendations?” He whispered.

“Surprise me.” You smiled.

“Why can’t you just make things easy for me for once?” He laughed lightly. “Hmm. What kind of genre?”

“Surprise~” You whined.

“Do you know how many songs there are?” He looked at you, though you couldn’t see him. “You just love making things hard for me.” He grumbled before clearing his throat again before singing Dreamer.

“Did you really fall asleep?” He whispered after singing the song. “You were probably tired.” He sighed, grabbing your phone and connecting it to his charger, an idea popping into his head.

He scooted closer to you and held your camera above the both of you so it looked like you were cuddling into him, took the picture, then scooted back to his initial spot and looked at you again before confirming his plan.

He opened your messages and found Min’s, typing a quick message and attaching the picture of you sleeping, not even hesitating to hit send before leaving your phone on his bedside counter to charge, not bothering to check the vibrate signaling Min’s response.

You woke up feeling warm. Too warm. When you tried to move, you realized your arm was wrapped around something and you opened your eyes in realization of your current position. Looking up at Hyungwon’s still sleeping form, your arms wrapped around his waist, and your head on his chest.

You mentally cursed yourself as you slowly let him go and face palmed. Of all the damn nights for you to want to cuddle.

“It’s too early.” Hyungwon grumbled, his voice raspy. “Stay in bed.”

“Were you awake this whole time?” You looked at him with eyes wide.

“No. I woke up when you moved your head.” He mumbled. “The warmth was nice.”

“What time is it?” You said, ignoring his statement.

He grabbed your phone. “5:58 AM.” He whined. “Let’s just go back to sleep.” He rolled towards you, arms open.

“You’re such a baby when you’re tired.” You tsked. “We’re not cuddling again. We weren’t supposed to anyways.”

“You’re the one that woke me up. Take responsibility.” He yawned out, with grabby hands. “If you don’t come willingly, I’m gonna pull you in.”

“You wouldn-” You were cut off by Hyungwon grabbing your wrist and pulling you back into him, his arms wrapping around your waist.

“Shut up and sleep.” He grumbled. “Hyunwoo’s alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours and if you wake up before then, we’re gonna fight.”

You didn’t bother fighting him and relaxed into his hold. It wasn’t all that bad. The way his body covered yours and the way he held you made you feel safe and warm.

Made you feel comfortable.

You don’t know when you fell back asleep, but you woke up to Hyungwon shaking you lightly.

“C’mon.” He whispered. “Now, it’s time to get up.” He chuckled.

You sat up and stretched. “Do I really have to get up?”

“I was gonna take you home so you could get some clean clothes, then maybe come back.” He started. “But if you’re down to stay dressed like that the whole day.” He shrugged.

“No, going to get clothes sounds nice.” You piped up. “Why would we come back here though?”

“Is it such a shame to want you to make friends with my group mates?”

“Good point.” You stated, getting up and picking up your clothes from yesterday.

“I’ll leave, you can change in here.” He stopped you, making his way past you. “It’s windy out.” He smiled. “So keep the flannel on.” He said as he walked out.

The ride back to your place was a comfortable silence and that’s when you noticed your phone’s bluetooth didn’t connect to his car.

“Won, where’s my phone?”

“I charged it for you, so if you didn’t get it, it’s probably still on my counter.” He said calmly.

“We’re going back anyways.” You said as he pulled up to your place.

“You go freshen up. I’ll just chill in the kitchen and steal snacks.” He smiled as he put the car in a park and got out.

“Sounds like a plan.” You laughed as you made your way to the door, unlocking it.

“Just don’t take a long ass shower.” He tsked. “Or I might end up eating all your snacks out of boredom like last time.”

“Don’t remind me.” You glared at the memory. “God forbid I leave you alone for more than thirty minutes.” You kept your glare as you placed your keys on the kitchen counter.

“Just some food for thought.” He chuckled as he opened your cabinet, looking for something.

"Just don’t eat everything.” You groaned and made your way to your room. “I really don’t feel like going shopping just because you can’t control yourself.” Your voice faded the longer you walked and you barely heard Hyungwon’s noise of agreement.

You didn’t really pay much attention to the clothes you picked out, thinking of just grabbing some leggings and keeping Hyungwon’s flannel as your top. Given that it wasn’t too baggy, but not too tight, you figured it had that ‘at home’ look, which was perfect because you didn’t wanna look like you were trying too hard to come up with an outfit.

You reached for your speaker on instinct, but put it down once you remembered you didn’t have your phone and grumbled to yourself, grabbing your towel and heading towards your restroom.

“Well that was fast.” Hyungwon spoke with a mouth full of Pringles.

“Let’s just say I miss my phone.” You smiled, rolling his shirt sleeves up, along with your hair.

“You still wearing my shirt.” He smirked.

“It’s comfy.” You shrugged, sitting across from him. “And it smells nice.” You added, reaching for a chip.

“You always did like my cologne.” He smirked to himself. “I guess I make good choices.”

“You picked one good cologne, don’t get cocky.” You glared, pointing your chip at him, him sticking his tongue back at you in return.

“Are you sure you really wanna meet the guys?” He cocked a brow at you while he chewed his chip. “They might be too much to handle.”

“You’re too much to handle and I do just fine.” You stated matter-of-factly.

“Okay but now like, there’s six more of me.”

“You started it by inviting me over for movies. Plus it was your idea.” You smiled.

��Good point, but you didn’t have to agree.” He pointed his chip at you before eating it. “But let’s go after we eat.”

Hyungwon’s definition of ‘after we eat’ ended up being ‘after we eat and watch a movie or two.’ So by the time you were getting ready to leave, it was about to be 2 pm.

“What happened to ‘after we eat.’” You laughed as you both made your way to the door.

“You can’t just eat and not watch something.” He looked at you like you were clueless.

“You couldn’t just pick a show?”

“Movies are better.” He held his chin high as he opened the door for you, locking it from the inside. “You’re just mad ‘cause I’m keeping you from going back to the dorms.”

“I am not!” You yelled.

“You totally are.” He glared. “Why? Do you like any of them?” He quirked a brow at you, his tone changing as he closed the door.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” You shrugged, opening the door to the drivers side.

“It’s Hoseok, isn’t it? Or Hyunwoo?” He tsked. “It’s always one of them.” He mumbled, opening the car door and getting in.

“And if I said I did?” You teased, stepping into the passenger.

“I’d ban you from going back.” He glared. “They can’t just steal my friend from me.”

“Why can’t I be everyone’s friend?” You quirked your own brow at him.

“The world doesn’t work that way, my clueless little y/n.” He ruffled your hair as he started the car.

“You’re just paranoid that they’ll steal me away.” You glared.

“And if I am?” He didn’t hesitate to answer.

“It’ll take a lot more than a pretty face to ruin our friendship.” You smiled, ruffling his hair now. “Why do you think Min hated you so much?” You chuckled, only to have it die down soon after. “I guess your ‘idol’ title made you different from the rest of my friends.” You shrugged, shoving the memories of past arguments to the back of your head.

“Look. I know I caused a lot of problems for you tw-”

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “He left because I wasn’t good enough. Let’s just go now.” You spoke quickly, watching as he put the car in ‘drive’.

“He really made you believe that?” He spoke up, his voice soft.

You didn’t answer.

“It’s bullshit, you know.” He spoke louder this time. “Anyone would be lucky enough to have you. Just because he left doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough.”

And that was all he said.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, both of you not feeling the need to say anything else, at least not until you were heading up to the dorms again.

“If you flirt with any of them, I might just kick you out.” He threatened as you reached his hall.

“You could never.” You smiled as you poked his side. “You love me too much.”

You only got a glare in response as he punched in the code to the door, nearly shutting it in your face as payback for your little statement, but you couldn’t complain now that you were back at the dorms.

“She’s back!” Minhyuk yelled from the couch, running over to you.

“We thought he wouldn’t bring you back.” Kihyun chuckled, watching as Hyungwon glared at Minhyuk, who’s hug was lasting a little longer than it should.

“Dude, let her go. She didn’t come to get squished.” Hyungwon grumbled.

“And now he’ll probably never let her come back.” Changkyun laughed while nudging Kihyun.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Hyungwon fake laughed. “She wouldn’t even be back here if she didn’t forget her phone.

“So that’s what was going off all day.” Hyunwoo chimed in. “I wasn’t trying to snoop, but it seemed important with how much they kept texting. I think it was a Min?”

“Oh, that’s not important.” You trailed off. “Probably ju-”

“Did you guys order the pizza, yet?” Hyungwon cut you off, trying to change the subject. “And did you get the side of wings?”

“Yeah, Hoseok and Jooheon went to go get it.” Hyunwoo said. “But you’ve never wanted wings before. What changed?”

“They aren’t for me, they’re for y/n.” Hyungwon said casually, the rest of the guys raising their eyebrows at each other.

“Since when are you so considerate?” Minhyuk spoke out.

“I’m considerate to people.” He stated calmly, before forcing a smile. “Just not you.”

“Rude.” The older pouted, before his phone chimed. “Oh, food’s here!”

The day had gone smoother than you thought. You had eaten, watched some shows, played dumb games on the living room floor, and now you were cleaning up.

“It’s late, we should get you home.” Hyungwon spoke up after finishing the dishes.

“Shit, what time is it?” You looked up at him.

“Your phone’s still in my room isn’t it?” He raised a brow.

“Well we were busy, I didn’t really need it.” You shrugged.

He did nothing but sigh and ruffle your hair before leaving to his room to retrieve the device.

By the time he reached the phone, it had just stopped vibrating, and he checked it to see if it was important.

“Min? Again?” He groaned, pressing the home button so he could see how many times he called. “Thirty times?” He scoffed, letting the screen timeout on it’s own. “Does he have nothing better to do?”

“I suggest you hurry up before Minhyuk hides her away.” Changkyun warned, leaving Hyungwon to shove your phone in his pocket, and head back out.

“But make sure you come back. Even if you have to hide it.” Minhyuk whispered the last part.

“The point of whispering is to not be heard.” Hyungwon mimicked Minhyuk, causing you to giggle.

“Let’s go, you grumpy log.” You laughed. “It’s getting late, I don’t want you coming back late.”

The drive home was spent with you talking about how much you enjoyed your time guys being even more great - and stupid - than you thought they’d be in person.

“Well, at least you enjoyed your day.” Hyungwon smiled towards you. “You deserve to have better days now that he’s gone.”

“Speaking of,” You piped up. “What do you think he wanted?”

“Who knows.” He shrugged. “You didn’t check?” He asked, pulling into your driveway, and looking over to you.

“I’m kinda scared to know.” You admitted, unbuckling your seat belt. “I mean, I cried at the ‘let’s try again’ texts, so who’s to say I won’t cry over whatever he’s saying now?”

“Do you want me to read them instead?” He offered, unbuckling his own seat belt.

“As long as you don’t say anything dumb.” You glared, handing him your phone.

“No promises.” He smiled, snatching the phone from you, and unlocking it. “Messagesssss.” He dragged out as he pushed the little emoticon. “Miiinnn.” He repeated as he looked for the man’s contact, tapping on it once it came in sight. “Last message was sometime around…” He trailed off as he scrolled up, turning the phone slightly as the picture he took came into view.

“Why? Is it bad?” You whined at the action.

“No, I just don’t want you to read anything and get upset.” He mumbled. “How about you go in and get ready? I’ll be in when I’m done.” He smiled softly at your frowning face. “You can even order food? And use my card?” He offered, to which you smiled and nodded. “All it takes is food. You’re so easy.” He fake tsked, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “Just make sure you order something for me, too.” He laughed, waiting for you to walk inside before turning his attention back to your phone.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be?” - 2:07 am

“Why aren’t you answering?” - 2:08 am

“I know you’re getting my messages.” - 2:10 am

“Is it because he’s with you? You’re just gonna replace me like that? With a fucking pretty boy?” - 2:12 am

“And now you’re not gonna respond? You obviously sent that picture for a reason.” - 2:13 am

“Fine. Have it your way. I’m stopping by tomorrow night.” - 2:16 am

Hyungwon scoffed at the messages before deleting them, along with the picture, and throwing the phone in his lap.

What the hell was his problem? Was he really that jealous over you staying at the dorm when he wasn’t even your boyfriend anymore?

The nerve.

Sighing again, he turned the car off and got out, angrily shoving your phone in his pocket before going inside.

“The delivery guy said twenty minutes tops, so it shouldn’t be too long.” You smiled at him.

“All you care about is food, huh?” He joked.

“Well maybe if you didn’t eat all my food all the time, I wouldn’t care so much.” You glared.

After eating - and cleaning up - you had suggested watching something scary, more for background noise than entertainment.

“So..” You trailed off. “Was it bad?” You bit your lip.

“Now you ask?” He chuckled, taking a sip of his Monster. “But no, it wasn’t bad. Just obsessive?” He questioned, trying to think of the right word. “Just stuff like ‘oh, you’re not gonna respond?’, and ‘you’re just gonna replace me like that’.” He mocked in a dumb voice.

“Why are guys like that?” You sighed, throwing yourself back onto the couch.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brows.

“All ‘I don’t want you, but don’t date anyone else.’“ You mocked in a deep voice.

“Who are you dating?” He coughed as he choked on his sip.

“No one, but you know what I mean.” You glared.

“Well obviously I didn’t.” He coughed some more. “Word yourself better next time and we wouldn’t have a problem.” He grumbled.

“I’ve literally been crying to you about how guys suck. Why would I date another one right now?” You deadpanned.

“I don’t know. Maybe the whole ‘get over someone by using someone else’ thing.” He mumbled.

“On another note.” You sighed, ignoring his statement. “You’re a guy, do you know why guys do this shit?”

“I’m not a shitty guy, or at least I don’t think, so I have no idea.” He paused, putting the can to his lips and throwing his head back, finishing it. “But I can fight him for you if you want.” He smirked.

“I appreciate the offer, but the last thing you need is to catch a case.” You laughed lightly.

“Who said I’d get caught?” He raised a brow.

“Okay feisty one, I’m gonna go throw away the trash which you said you would do.” You giggled, as you got up.

“I was gonna do it after I finished my drink.” He defended himself as you walked away to pick up the trash bag. “Which I just did.”

“Well I already got up, so you’re too late.” You smiled, walking back and taking his empty can, throwing it in the bag before tying it closed. “I’ll be back.” You said, slipping on some sandals before going out, mentally cursing as you realized you left the trashcans on the curb from yesterday.

“If I wasn’t kidnapped, I’d totally not have to walk all the way to the curb.” You grumbled to yourself, as you reached them. “I should’ve just let Hyungwon do it.” You continued to grumble as you lifted the lid.

“So you’re with him now?” You heard a familiar voice speak out from the side, and you froze, the lid falling with a loud thud. “Are you not gonna answer?” He spoke louder this time, slightly slurred.

“No.” You spoke softly, not trying to cause a scene. “But it’s not like it matters to you.” You said coldly, watching as Min laugh sarcastically.

“I just wanna know how long it’s been going on.” He hiccuped. “Since we broke up? Since your birthday? Before then?” He got louder the more he spoke, walking closer.

“You’re drunk.” You swallowed thickly while backing away, slightly scared since you knew this side of him.

“And? Answer my question.” He said, stopping slightly as he realized you were pressed against the trashcan.

“I told you we weren’t together.” You repeated louder this time, hoping Hyungwon would hear.

“Don’t bullshit me, y/n.” He chuckled, raising his voice even more. “We both know you had feelings for him.”

“Whether I did or not doesn’t-”

“Yes it fucking does.” He scoffed, taking a step forward, causing you to push against the trashcan, your face instinctively turning to the side in an attempt to block yourself.

“If your problem’s with me, then leave her alone.” Hyungwon spoke out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you behind him. “Go inside.” He said sternly, to which you shook your head, and before he could respond, Min spoke up again.

“Oh, so you got him protecting you now? That’s fucking rich.” He laughed again, stepping towards Hyungwon, who only pushed you back. His position staying. “We all knew you’d end up with him anyways.” He spoke bitterly, looking up at the man.

“Like I said.” Hyungwon’s voice threatening as he stepped forward. “If your problem’s with me, leave her out of it.” He glared.

“How do you know my problem’s with you?” Min laughed.

“My name was in almost every message you sent.” Hyungwon scoffed. “If anyone else read them, they’d think you’re jealous of her, not me.” He took another step. “And you came to her house to ask if me and her were together. It sounds like my presence pisses you off.” He smirked.

Min scoffed before balling his fist.

“I suggest you leave.” Hyungwon spoke up again, his tone holding something you hadn’t heard from him before as he took more steps to back Min into the sidewalk. “If you wanna fight, I suggest you be sober first. Wouldn’t want you making up excuses for losing to a ‘pretty boy’ like me.” He said, pressing a finger to Min’s shoulder and pushing him into the street before turning around and pushing you back towards the door.

“I told you to go inside.” He nearly yelled as he shut the door. “What if something happened? What if he had something? What if I wasn’t here?” He scolded, too lost in his concern to realize you were tearing up.

“What would you would’ve done if-” He stopped talking the second he saw a tear fall and immediately pulled you into his chest.

It was quiet for a while, neither of you saying anything, or more like him not knowing what to say.

Of course he’d fuck up by yelling at you after everything that’s happened.

Of course he’d snap at you even though none of this was your fault.

Of course he’d let his feelings get the best of him.

“I’m sorry for yelling. I shouldn’t have.” He sighed picking his hand up to run it down your hair. “I’m just worried about you.”

“I’ve never seen you so mad before..” You sniffled, remembering how he sounded, how he got in Min’s face. It wasn’t like him.

“I never planned for you to see me that mad.” He chuckled. “I let my feelings get the best of me. I shouldn’t have acted out like that.”

“What feelings?” You questioned, and he looked down at you in disbelief. His whole face basically saying ‘do you really not know?’

“Are you serious?” He laughed.

“I may have a hint..” You paused. “But I just want you to hear you say it.”

“You really strung me along, huh?” He laughed lightly, looking back up. “Do you know how hard it was to not act on it?”

You looked up at him and chewed your lip in contemplation of whether or not to say what you wanted to. But he already said it, so why couldn’t you?

“No one said you couldn’t act on it.” You bit your lip as he looked down at you.

“Say that again.” His response was immediate but his tone was different.

“I said,” You paused, your eyes staring into his. “No one said you couldn-” You were cut off from him pressing his lips to yours, the force strong enough to push your head back, but his hold on you strong enough to keep you in place.

Knowing where to move, he backed you into the couch, turning you both around so he could sit and bring you down on top of him.

His hands never left your hips and when they finally did, they moved up to wrap around the back of your neck, trying to bring you impossibly closer into him while the other hand ran up and down your thigh, squeezing every now and then.

Never did either of you think this would happen. That one of you would finally take that step and remove whatever block was in the way.

But that block only stayed gone for a minute as Hyungwon pulled away, panting and searching your eyes for anything and you could tell he was stopping himself.

“Please, Hyungwon..” You panted, your hands coming up to cup his face. “Don’t stop here.” You whispered, hoping he’d see the sincerity in your eyes.

And though he did, it wasn’t enough for him.

“No, y/n. As much as I’ve wanted to do this, you’re only doing this out of vulnerability. Not because you want me.” He shook his head, trying to get your hands off of him, causing you to tighten your grip.

“But I do want you.” You spoke softly. “I’ve always wanted you…” You trailed off. “I just never thought you’d want me, and Min came along and fucked up my whole mentality on everything.” You took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t tell you to act on your feelings if I didn’t want to act on mine.”

He was quiet, his eyes never leaving yours as you spoke, his hand on the back of your neck rubbing softly while the one that was on your thigh squeezing hard at the mention of him.

So contradicting.

“This wasn’t how I pictured this happening.” He chuckled bitterly. “But I guess timing doesn’t care for trivial things.”

“Please,” You looked at him, your voice breaking. “I want you for you. Not because I’m sad, but because it’s always been you.”

He didn’t reply verbally this time, opting to press his lips back against yours, but softer this time, and you pulled back.

“You’re holding back, Hyungwon.” You whispered. “You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered back. “I came on way too rough the first time.” He laughed.

“Be rough with me, please.” You started. “I want to get lost in you. I only want you on my mind.”

“Of all the things I imagined you saying, that was never one of them.” He chuckled. “Are you sure?” He said, scanning your eyes for any hint of denial.

Instead of speaking up, you nodded your head, but it wasn’t enough for him.

“Words. I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes.” You spoke up. “Help me forget him.“

As if a switch flipped, the Hyungwon you had before was back and he was on you as if you’d disappear at any given moment.

You thought about what he said earlier, the whole ‘using someone to forget someone else’ and now weren’t sure if ‘forget’ was the right word to use, but if wasn’t, you were pretty sure he’d have stopped.

Maybe he said it because he wanted to be the one to help you forget someone.

Either way, you were reveling in the way his lips moved from yours to trail down your neck, randomly biting while his hands moved down to your thighs, occasionally moving up to play with the hem of your leggings.

“Fuck, Hyungwon.” Your hips rolled against his as he bit a specific spot and he smirked before biting down again, harder this time.

“Do you know how bad I wanted to do this last night and all damn day?” He rasped out between kisses, sucking a hickey above your collarbone. “Seeing you walk around in my shirt like that.” He whispered before going to the other side of your neck. “God, you look so good.” He growled, roughly sucking hickies onto your skin.

“I wanted nothing more than to fuck you senseless while you wore that damn shirt,” He whispered, his hands rubbing closer to where you wanted him. “Have you screaming my name and letting everyone know who’s really meant for you.” He growled as his fingers rubbed you over your leggings. “I bet you would’ve loved it, huh, babygirl.” He whispered in your ear before nibbling on your lobe.

“Yes, fuck.” You threw your head to the side, bucking your hips into his hand, while his other came around to grab your throat, squeezing harder every time he spoke.

“Have you beg for me to touch you.” He whispered, his hand slipping under your leggings to rub you over your panties. smirking at the wet spot he felt. ”Beg for me to fuck you.” He whispered before rubbing harder. “Beg for me to let you cum.”

“Fuck, Hyungwon, yes.“ You whined out, your hips trying to press against his fingers for something. Anything.

But he pulled away with a smug smirk instead.

“Then get up.”

“Wha-”

“I said,” He tilted his head. “Get. Up.”

“Hyungw-”

“Get up now, or I’m not touching you again.” He deadpanned, and out of fear he meant it, you got up and stood in front of him. “Sit here instead.” He smiled, moving you over his thigh and you stared at him confused.

“What, baby? Never ridden a thigh before?” He smirked as you blushed. “I’ll help you then.” He smiled, leading you over his leg and letting you get used to the feeling, smirking as your eyes closed from the pressure.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” He spoke up, his voice lower as he flexed his thigh, smirking as you moaned out, your hips moving against him on their own accord.

“I want more, please.” You whined, rutting against him.

“Where would the fun in that be?” He cocked a brow, flexing his thigh again.

“Please, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me next time, I just really really really need you right now.” Your voice came out pathetic, but you really couldn’t find it in you to care.

“Be careful what you say, baby.” He teased, getting up abruptly and turning you around so you fell into the couch, leaving you to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Because next time, I might be more than you can handle.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he knelt in front you, his hands grabbing at the hem of your leggings before pulling them off, you lifting your hips to help him.

“Hyungwon please-” You choked out. “I can’t-” You were cut off with a smack to your thigh.

“You can.” He started, staring up at you while he kissed your thigh, making a trail up. “And you will.”

You didn’t respond, instead starting to squirm from anticipation, your hand grabbing at his hair in hopes of getting him to get up, but your plan was ruined as he pulled away.

“Hands.” He said simply holding out his hand.

You shook your head and he reached for your both of your hands, putting your wrists in one hand before continuing his teasing.

“Hyungw-” You were cut off as he bit your thigh, the surprise sting making you jolt.

“Let me have my fun.” Was all he said before kissing higher, switching between the top of your thigh to the inside.

“Don’t you want me right here?” He asked softly, looking up at you with puppy eyes. “You said you wanted more, and that’s what I’m giving you.”

You had no words, knowing full well you wouldn’t be getting out of this, and you relaxed against the cough in frustration.

“Be a good girl and just enjoy yourself.” He whispered before licking a strip up your clothed slit.

“Oh-Oh my god.” You whimpered, your hips bucking into his face. “Why do you tease so much.” You whined, your arms trying to fight against his grip, only to have it tightened.

“You said you wanted to get lost in me.” He mumbled before licking over you again. “That you wanted me to be the only thing on your mind.” He mumbled, pressing his mouth harder against you. “I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that.”

At this point, you felt like crying. Of all the times he chose to listen to you, it was the time when all you wanted was for him to finally touch you.

“I’ll beg, just please. I can’t anymore.” You whined, your hips wiggling as you squirmed.

“Then let me hear it.” He suggested. “Beg for it.” He teased before going back to licking at your clothed slit.

“Fuck~” You whined. “Please fuck me, touch me, anything. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll call you whatever you want, I promise I’ll be a good girl for you, just please, for fucks sake, do something.” You whined out, your hands fighting in vain against his hold.

“You sound so pretty when you beg, baby.” He groaned, getting off his knees and helping you up so you were standing in front of him, his hands coming up to the buttons of his flannel, pausing when you tensed up. “It’s okay.” He looked at you. “I’m right here.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours again, softer this time while he worked on the buttons, letting the garment fall to the floor before pulling away.

“So beautiful.” He whispered to himself, bending his head down to take your nipple into his mouth while his hand gave the other attention. “I can’t wait to cover you in my marks one day.” He smiled, dropping to his knees while he kissed down your torso, his hands following by running down your sides, stopping at the hem of your panties before slowly pulling them down and letting them fall so you could step out of them.

“I’m gonna take care of you.” Was all he said before shoving his head into you, his tongue lapping at you like you’d be his last meal.

“Hyungwon-” Your knees buckled, but his hands came up to grasp your thighs, keeping you up while your hands attached themselves to his hair.

You let him have his way until you felt yourself about to cum, the teasing finally catching up to you.

“Hyungwon- I- fuck-” You whimpered as your thighs shook.

He got the point and got up, only to bend you over the armrest of the couch, your new angle giving him the perfect view of your ass.

“Fuck, I’ve always thought about this.” He groaned, working at his pants. “Making you feel so good, you can’t help but scream.” He said, dropping his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side before grabbing himself and running it up and down your slit. “I wonder how many times you’ve thought about it.” He smirked to himself.

“Please~” You whined, pushing yourself back onto him.

“So needy for me.” He licked his lips as he slid his tip in, reveling in the small moans you let out as he slowly slid in, not giving you time to adjust before pulling out and slamming back into you. “I wonder just how needy you’ve been.”

“So much.” You whined, clenching around him, smiling softly when he hissed.

“Such a naughty girl you’ve been, y/n.” He tsked, his hands moving to hold your hips, stroking slowly. “Keeping your thoughts all to yourself.” He groaned, trying his hardest not to ruin you completely.

“Hyungwon, faster.” You panted, your hands balling into fists by your head.

“What’s the rush, baby?” He teased, leaning over to press a kiss against your shoulder, his strokes speeding up just a bit. “Don’t you wanna enjoy yourself?”

“I want you to ruin me.” You let out in a broken whimper. “Fuck me so hard I’m crying. So hard I don’t know what to do with myself. So hard I have no choice but to take it. So hard I’m forced to just lay here and moan.” You nearly cried. “So hard that your name is the only word I know.”

Your plea seemed to do the trick as you heard him laugh lightly before biting down on your shoulder and speeding up on his thrusts, the pace nearly brutal compared to what he was giving you before.

You had no words, the only thing running through your mind was Hyungwon and how good he was making you feel.

You guess he seemed to notice this as he spoke up again.

“Like this, baby?” He questioned with a pant. “You’re so quiet now.” He smirked to himself. “Let me hear you.”

Your response consisted of a mix of gasps and whimpers, not being able to think straight.

He seemed satisfied given that he didn’t ask again and he gripped your hips harder, holding you in place while he used his full force to fuck into you.

So forceful you’d almost assume he hated you or that he was trying to prove a point.

And maybe he was.

Trying to prove that it should’ve been him this whole time. Him kissing you. Him loving you. Him fucking you.

And the closer he brought you to your orgasm, the more you thought it should’ve been him, too. Especially when his hand came around to rub harsh circles on your clit, your thighs shaking from how close you were.

“Don’t even try holding it.” He growled. “None of that cumming together bullshit.” He panted. “Cum for me. Cum all over me.” He coaxed you, his voice sweet compared to his current actions.

“Hyungwon, I-I- Fuck!” You were cut off by him rubbing harsher circles against you, giving you no choice but to accept it, your thighs giving out as you came.

“That’s it, baby.” He smiled down at your fucked out form, slowing down so you could ride it out before speeding up again, chasing his own orgasm, smirking when you whimpered. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Can’t take a bit of over stimulation?”

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fizzingwizard · 4 years ago

Text

very long very personal

of course it’s okay, I wouldn’t have left this public if it were a big deal, but I’d still prefer no comments on this.

So my mom messaged me the other day asking if we could chat because she “had some questions.” So I already figured something was up, because usually she doesn’t give a reason for wanting to chat, just wanting to talk is enough. I was trying to guess if “some questions” meant something very serious was going on or if she had questions about whether I’ll be able to go back to the US for Christmas this year, since last time we talked I said probably not because of covid-19.

So I felt like I didn’t want to put this off, but also did? lol. So I couldn’t make myself call last night, so I called this morning when it’s night for them. ” It seemed casual, but I could see a stack of boxes behind her. My first thought was “are my parents moving?” And at first my mom’s like, “Yeah, we decided to sell the house, so I wanted to ask you about some things of yours I found. I’m like oh, okay, probably anything left there is trash because I haven’t looked at it in 10 years (uh, though there were a couple things I wanted to keep >_>; also a mountain of books >_____>;)

and then she goes, “So yeah, the reason we’re selling is because your dad and I are splitting up.”

and I’m like, THERE IT IS.

she said it soooo casual-like and several minutes into chatting. I’m sure because it’s an awkward thing to suddenly bring up. The thing is, before I called, I was planning to tell her that if there ever was some big news to share, I’d rather she warn me in a text message first. Like, “I’ve got some news that may be difficult to hear,” some such, doesn’t need to explain anything, just tip me off to be prepared, because that’s what I’m like. At work I never fully accept compliments because the feeling of reassurance that I’m doing well leads to me being blindsided when something goes wrong. So I try to always keep a mental balance, like “I’m glad X went well but that doesn’t mean everything is good” or “Too bad Y didn’t work out, but that doesn’t meant everything is shitty.” This is what helps me not go crazy and feel a bit in control. I wish I were a happy go lucky person for whom bad stuff rolls right off, but it doesn’t, at all, so I try to manage it the best way I can. I never feel truly happy but I never feel truly sad.

And the reason I felt like I needed to say something to my mom is, this isn’t the first time something like this happened. When I was in college, both of my parents got into a car accident - the same accident, but separate cars. They were both okay, but the cars were ruined. They didn’t tell me until weeks later. Same thing happened when my brother got sick and had to be hospitalized. He was there for weeks dealing with some pretty tough treatments and my parents were very stressed. And they didn’t tell me anything until it was all over with. I get that they didn’t want me to worry, I was in college and far away and couldn’t have done anything, and I also get that they were busy themselves, but I still want to know. For me, worry is not half as bad as being shocked afterward. Maybe my parents would prefer it the other way, but not me. I have told them this before but I guess it doesn’t stick. Every family is dysfunctional and I guess being bad at sharing bad news is my family’s dysfunction. Among many lol.

so I had basically just decided there was no real bad news to worry about and was preparing to let my mom know how I’d prefer she tell me if and when there is, when she drops this bomb on me. Like it’s no bomb at all. “Oh, you’re surprised? Your brother wasn’t surprised at all,” she said. Both my parents say the reason my bro’s not surprised is because he lives close by (and lived with them for many years until just recently) and I do not. While I’m sure there’s some truth to that, the real reason is totally that my brother Knows Everything and is Surprised By Nothing. And how I know that, is that I’m not surprised for the reason my parents think I am. They think I’m surprised because I didn’t know how far apart they’ve grown. But LOL. I know. I’ve known for a VERY long time.

The reason I’m surprised is BECAUSE I’ve known for a long time. I figured it out when I saw how other kids’ parents interact and compared it to mine. I figured it out when my mom started telling me things about her and my dad that probably she shouldn’t have told me, but I can’t be bothered to worry about it because my dad’s really provoked it, I mean REALLY provoked it. And my dad doesn’t dish dirt on my mom, but that’s because there isn’t any :P It’s a lopsided relationship in that way. What my dad has done is tell me how he really feels. How he’s so grateful that he has my mom and would be alone if not for her, and how he’s sorry for how he behaves when he’s upset and doesn’t want to lose what he’s got.

So, YEAH, I knew that my mom was not happy in her relationship, but any time she talked about it she always seemed anti-change. She wouldn’t lay down the law with my dad when he said things, she always followed him as the “head of the house,” and I couldn’t even blame her, I’ve seen both of the men in my family treat her pretty horribly for sticking up to herself so small wonder she doesn’t do it more. What I thought was, if she’s going to leave my dad, she’d have done it ten years ago, as soon as we kids were out of the house. She didn’t. So I’m mostly just surprised it’s finally happened!

And she says it’s all amicable, they’re staying friends, they’ll still see each other at holidays, etc. She said it all with a smile. In my head I was thinking, “I’m sure that’s true for mom, but what about dad?” Because Idk how much of the things my dad tells me he also tells my mom. I always got the feeling that dad felt I was his confidante in the family. Because I’m a good listener and I don’t tell secrets. There are things my mom dad and bro have all done that I have never told anyone in fifteen years.

And my dad has made it clear many many times that he does NOT want to live alone, does NOT want to be without my mom, etc. And I always complain about his super negative, “world is ending” politics which has just been getting worse - apparently he’s also been saying things like “I’m going to die and the world will end” etc stuff like that, and the talk about him dying is new. For me it’s an alarm bell, but no one else seems concerned. Not that I think my dad’s planning anything, but I mean more, he’s always been the depressive type, and it doesn’t seem to be getting better, and now having no one but himself for company... I think it’s going to make it even worse. Right now their reasoning is, they barely see each other anyway even while living in the same house, so what’s gonna change? But it’s completely different sharing a house with someone and not seeing them often and living completely alone. It doesn’t seem that different but it really is.

So my mom finishes telling me that everything’s fine and they both want this separation, and a little later my dad walks in and he says “Yeah, we’re splitting. I’m the type of person who should live alone. I don’t want it that way, but that’s how it is.” He said it casually too. My mom just went quiet. But the casualness was different from my mom’s. She seemed like “okay, I’m doing this now,” while he seems resigned. So yeah, basically I’m not worried about my mom, but I don’t think my dad totally realizes what this is gonna be like for him, and I’m really nervous about it. It gives me all sorts of bad feelings.

But to be clear, I don’t blame my mom for ANY of this. Not for wanting to separate, not for my dad’s depressive personality... none of it. Like I said, I thought she’d separate from him ten years ago. I love my dad, and he does have many good qualities, but he is difficult to live with. As a kid I overheard lots of arguments. Used to wonder if they’d divorce. Only reason I didn’t take it more seriously was because both of my parents come from bad homes, my mom’s parents divorced, my dad’s didn’t but he always said he wished they had because it was so toxic having them together. My parents seemed to value their relationship because of how shitty their own parents’ relationships were, so I thought that was what was keeping them afloat.

But on top of all that, my dad did some bad stuff with money. A few bad things. I don’t know all of it, mom says it’s between her and my dad, but my hope is that whenever I go home to visit at her new place, she’ll tell me. Of course I won’t push for it, but it’d be nice to have the whole story, because knowing what I do is already enough to be weird and confusing. Also my student loans appear involved (my parents are co-signers). Anyway, what I do know is that some bad money decisions were made and then my dad did a lot of lying and disrespectful stuff when my mom found out, and won’t apologize or admit he did anything wrong. My mom’s known about this for at least a month and he wouldn’t apologize the entire time. This seems to be the final straw for my mom. She seized control of the finances and though she didn’t say so, there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s the one who decided on the separation. She says she doesn’t get paying for a house she feels like she’s living alone in, when she doesn’t need such a big place just for herself, so she might as well sell and move somewhere cheaper.

Again my mom is not responsible for my dad’s metal health. She’s spent pretty much her whole adult life supporting him and not gotten all that much in return. For her, I think this is the right move and she’s going to be happier. For my dad, it’s a huge change and not a good one. Still nothing like my mom’s fault - if anything he brought it on himself - but I just feel like I’m looking into a crystal ball and it’s just my dad sitting alone in his trailer watching right wing political videos and eating junk food. Maybe forgetting to take his diabetes medicine, etc. He doesn’t even have a job so I’m not sure how that’s gonna work out. In your old age you hope you have someone who cares about you and helps look after you. At the very least you hope you have someone to talk to when you come home. I’m glad he’s supposedly going to be close to his best friend, and his best friend is a really nice guy who... may need to prepare for seeing my dad every day now? idk. But I’m grateful for that at least.

My mom will be a free bird, but it’s hard to imagine this being anything like freeing for my dad. Maybe I will turn out to be wrong. Idk. My dad’s sister is also a divorcee and has been living by herself for decades. She has a lot of loner type quirks because of that, but that’s alright. So maybe it will be okay, it will turn out my dad is really comfortable living alone after all... I wouldn’t have doubted that because he does like to be alone, it’s just the other stuff - the money, the jobs, the food, the medicine, etc - that kind of stuff I’m worried about. My aunt also fills her home with animal companions. Oh, just realized I forgot who’s going to keep the dog. Probably my dad... though of the two of them, the dog’s def better off with my mom, who actually takes her for actual walks. But my mom’s never really wanted a dog and only had one because my dad wanted it.

I mean story of my life right??? My mom doesn’t want a thing, but does it because it’s what my dad wants, he doesn’t take care of it, so she does! Rinse and repeat. For years and years and years.

When my mom told me about all this I said “Okay, I don’t want to talk about it right now but I’m glad you’re both happy.” And she was like why don’t you want to talk about it? Well for all these reasons that I could never say to their faces.

for them it’s been their marriage, for me it’s been my lifetime. There are so many things we did together. Even when my dad made his stupid music CD with the god awful cover he designed himself, and wouldn’t accept my mom’s input even though she’s a graphic designer, ya know, she does it for a living... Those kinds of memories. I know I’m sentimental as fuck. I just told my mom to throw out all my old drawings and notebooks that I was keeping from when I was a kid because it doesn’t mean a thing to me anymore. Life changes, things change, and as much as we want to carry it on with us, we just run out of space.

haha now im crying, how stupid

there’s another reason as well but I just deleted it because I’m secretive lol.

time changes and we change, and we can survive any change... but we may not like it. it may not feel worth it. idk. i don’t know if my existence is worth it. I know my parents love me and I’m personally happy on a daily basis, I’ve been lucky that while I’m hardly a peppy cheerful type, I don’t seem prone to depressive episodes like my dad and brother. So it’s not about “I shouldn’t have been born!” or nonsense. But maybe in a wiser world, my parents would not have married each other. Maybe they could have been happier. Idk.

this would all be a breath of fresh air if I could feel like it’ll be as good for my dad as it will be for my mom.

anyway I really needed to get this off my chest. again I don’t really want “aw dont worry my parents are separated too” comments. I respect what everyone’s been through and I know I’m hardly suffering here relatively speaking. but I’ve always been a melodramatic journaling type so I just had to write it down.

#personal

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utopianvoices · 5 years ago

Text

dating au | j.yunho

⤗ check my masterlist for other members!

how he acts around you

make way for the nation’s boyfriend

the Softest Boy Ever™

if you thought jongho was soft this boy’s even softer

permanently has a smile on his face??? like??

hello do you ever get upset

he does but he never wants to show it

question of the day: how do you NOT fall for this boy

184cm of pure boyfriend material

is so so giggly around you

like you’d make eye contact with him from across the room and boy’s turning fifty shades of red

and at first you just think that he’s naturally shy and isn’t good with human interactions

but after talking to him you realise he’s one of the most extroverted person you’ve ever met

has so much energy, literally hOw

but coming back to the point of how he acts around you

will blush at everything

your hands brush when you’re passing him something? boy’s heating up

you end up sitting next to him? he’s thinking of ways to commit d word without embarrassing himself

isn’t even aware that his crush on you is obvious af

he’s just in his own little bubble whenever you’re around

you, of course, make it worse for him

by latching onto the ‘nation’s boyfriend’ joke

and keep asking him if he’ll be your boyfriend too

“hey, nation’s boyfriend! do you have space for one more person in your heart?”

yunho.exe has stopped working

he KNOWS that you’re joking around but he still can’t help but wish you meant what you said

plot twist: you did

what he didn’t know is that your heart was going doki doki every time you made such jokes too

you had your doubts that what you felt wasn’t just one-sided

but you just kept telling yourself that he’d never go for someone like you because??? have you seen the boy

and you just tell yourself that you’re overthinking the signs he shows when you’re around

hOW EVEN

so now you both are just running around in circles thinking that none of you like each other

and honestly the members are so done

let’s all facepalm together

how he confesses

it just became too much for him to handle

you made the boyfriend joke every time you saw him and tbh it was plain abuse for his heart

his heart is: tired

doesn’t actually plan to confess to you

"how’s the nation’s boyfriend doing? any new people you have swooned?” you’d tease as you walked past him

and he’d kinda just reach out and grab your hand??

surprising both you and him

you because wHy is he holding your hand

and him because wHY did he grab your hand

now that he had your attention, he had no choice but to say something

so just vomits out his words without even thinking them through

“i only want to be one person’s boyfriend.”

and you kNOW this is leading up to something that you’ve waited for

for a very long ass time

but yunho isn’t the only dumbass around

“is it mingi?”

and tbh your brain is stabbing you multiple times

(╬ಠ益ಠ)

because how dumb are you

i didn’t raise you to be this way y/n

but mayhaps your dumbness wasn’t a total curse

because it helped defuse the tense atmosphere between the both of you

as yunho chuckles in disbelief under his breath

muttering a “i can’t believe i fell for an idiot.”

and it’s not soft enough to go unnoticed by you

so you’re like “w-what?”

and he looks up and just stares at you for a moment

before pulling you into a hug

and whispering a “you might be a dumbass but you’re my dumbass.”

sO now long story short there weren’t any cheesy questions asked

he just proclaimed that you were his

and what were you going to say?? no??

first date

did someone say

amusement park date

wants your first date to be as memorable as possible

so of course he’d plan to take you there

buYS EVERYTHING

will not let you spend one cent

might even steal your wallet when you’re not looking and hide it in his coat so that you can’t pay

you freak out for a hot minute thinking you lost your wallet but actually it’s just with your dumbass boyfriend

starts off straight with the rides because he’s scared the nerves will catch up as the day goes

and y’all won’t want to take the rides anymore

very ambitious

queues up for the scariest ride in the whole park

and you can see him hyping himself up so that he doesn’t faint on the ride

so you, being The Best, slowly take his significantly larger hands into yours

and just rub circles on the back of his hand

suddenly all thoughts just halt in his mind

his braincells are literally like

（°o°；）

i think you broke him more than the rollercoaster, y/n

but i guess it worked because he was so nervous about holding your hand that he forgot about the rollercoaster

when you’ve had your fun with the rides

you both walk hand in hand to the food stalls, getting hotdogs and drinks to fill your empty stomachs

immediately brings you over to the stall where they offer prizes for winning games when you’re done eating

he just wants to show off his skills in games

he’s so into the game and it shows on his face

and you kind of just forget about the prize and admire him

and he didn’t notice till the last shot

scores 9/10 points because he caught you staring at him right before the last shot and it did Things to his heart

and therefore the lack of his coordination

still wins you a large bear so he’s content

takes so many photos of you with the bear to show it off to the members

“look!!!! i won her this plushie!! doesn’t she look so cute!!!”

*read by 7 people*

*none of them replied*

it’s not surprising if he got kicked out of the gc because of how much he was spamming

he just wants to share the fact that you’re his to the world （πーπ）

first kiss

is the most extra out of all the members

actually decorates the dorm before you arrive

with scented candles and flowers

it’s just a kiss yunho

double checks everything before you arrive to make sure nothing is out of place

tells the members to leave and not come back till 11pm

because he needs time to build up the courage to kiss you

when you arrive, you are: confused

and you: express your confusion to him

he just says that he wanted to do something special that day and you’re like “oh, okay.”

because you knew how much of a sap your boyfriend could be

after dinner, he suggest playing some card or board games

like uno or something

honestly forgets his main purpose when you both start playing

because he’s just that competitive

“nO WAIT you can’t do that to me??? +8, serIOUSLY?”

and you just shrug like, “sorry bro, gotta do what i gotta do.”

finally remembers when he sees you biting your lip in concentration while looking at what cards to play next

from them on, he just purposely loses to speed up and end the game quickly

doesn’t regret losing when he hears your victory laugh, his heart swelling 10 times more when he sees you stick your tongue out to tease him

moves over to the space beside you and looks at you

if you’ve got loose hairs covering your face, he’ll just slowly tuck them behind your ear

not losing eye contact

and he’s pretty sure you can hear his heartbeat from how close he was

but just says “fuck it” in his mind and leans forward, gently pressing his lips against yours

his hands just automatically pull you onto his lap??

but the kiss still remains 100% soft

because he just wants to convey all his love to you through the kiss

10/10 the type to peck your cheeks when you separate

first fight

i... really don’t know what you would fight with him about

is really one of the most caring people out there and would avoid doing anything that would hurt you

does his best to get to know everything about you so that he avoids unnecessary fights

knows your mood just by looking at you and the way you act

is always there for you when you need to rant and even goes the extra mile by preparing hot baths or buying junk food for you

but he’d definitely have his bad days too

so that’s probably the only way there’d be a fight between you

he’s not one to show a negative side of him very often so when you see him down

you can’t help but keep asking him what was wrong

and that’d kind of put him off because he just didn’t want to talk about it then

and might just snidely tell you to stop asking him

you don’t really say anything else because it’s clear that he was having a bad day

but no matter how upset he was from the day

he’ll never let you go to bed on bad terms

if you’re laying in bed, he’ll just slowly slide under the covers and wrap his arms around you

burying his face in your chest as he lets out a muffled “i’m sorry... bad day.”

and you don’t say anything—you just wrap your arms around him and stroke his head, humming a slight melody to help him relax

and it works

because you feel him going limp in your arms, and his breathing evens out, light snores escaping him

it’s times like this where you remind yourself that no matter how much of a happy virus he was, he had bad days too

and that’d you do what you could to make those days easier for him

favourite things to do together

ohOho

everyone knows he lives and breathes to game

so he’ll do just that

but instead of doing it alone he’ll pester you till you join him in front of the console

if you don’t know how to play, he’ll sit you in between his legs and hold you from behind

his hands on yours as he guides your hands to the various buttons and explains what they are

and honestly nothing registers in your brain

because he was wAY TOO close to your ear

and to make things worse (or better?)

his voice was just above a whisper, and you could literally feel your body erupting in goosebumps

no thoughts. head empty.

actually there were many thoughts... but we won’t discuss them

it’s no surprise that you lose, but you still can’t help the pout forming on your lips unconsciously

which makes yunho think you’re the cutest thing EVER

kind of squeaks and just peppers kisses all over your face

and mAYhaps you pretend to be upset when you lose the consecutive games just to get kith

general affection

oOoo we’ve got a cuddle bug on our hands

mUST be touching you all the time omg

even if you’re just side by side watching a movie, he’ll find a way to have some skinship

be it your thighs touching each other, or his arm around your shoulder

he’s content with minimal contact

is naturally very playful

always laughs into kisses because your hands would have brushed a ticklish spot

and he’s really ticklish

so it always disrupts your kisses

he’s long so he’ll just wrap himself around you when cuddling

like a huge starfish or something

loves to play with your fingers when you’re having conversations

will listen to you attentively but his fingers just absentmindedly find for yours

and he’ll interlock your fingers

or just fiddle with them

overall a very Soft Boi

but then there are Not Soft Boi moments too

ahem

uses his height to it’s full advantage

definitely puts things like your phone on the top shelf just to see you struggle and whine when you can’t reach it

and then appears behind you and just plucks it like NOTHING

walking away with a smirk on his face, as you stare at him like (ಠ⌣ಠ)

on days where he’s in A Mood

he’ll just hold your phone in the air and make you reach for it

and it’s inevitable that you’re literally pressed up against him

so he’ll snatch the opportunity and just lean down and press a kiss to your lips

when he pulls away, you can definitely see the change in his demeanour

he’s no longer the playful puppy you see all the time

and the next moment you’re being lifted up and placed on the counter

the counter is his go to make out location

depending on his plans for the day, it may or may not lead to more

never initiates anything more if he knows he’s tight for time

always wants the luxury of time because he wants to show you how much he loves you

just basically wants to love all of you

and you’ll definitely feel loved

ahem MOVING ON

he’s a soft boy 99% of the time

so just provide him with kith and hug

and he’s the happiest

note: everyone go love @curanonemu or i’m not feeding y’all anymore <33

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #jeong yunho imagines #jeong yunho scenarios #jeong yunho #dating au series #dee scribbles #weLP #i might have gone slightly out of control during the gen affections part #hehe #＠＾▽＾＠

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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S4 Ep38: Awkward Hugs Episode

Remember how excited I was about the good storyboarder? Well this episode has the opposite of that. It looks a lot like they hit some sort of crunch and this entire episode got shipped to Singapore so that some other animation studio could deal with their problems. It’s got some jank.

And like listen, animation is hard, there’s a billion moving plates, there’s a lot of office politics and deadlines, this season in particular is very long and complicated, and I don’t know exactly what happened this episode, but it just...wow it’s a lot funny poorly animated moments and I was here for it.

So first off, Dartz died! I didn’t even cap it because it happened so quickly. He was standing there, a portal opened up, and then the Great Leviathan kind of munched him up in 3 frames of animation, and then dissolved away back into the portal. It was card shenanigans anyway, and I don’t go over card games here--just trust me he played cards, he lost, he died.

Once Dartz died, this happened, in the one place Roland thought he was safe.

Roland has spent a good amount of this time debating whether or not to go inside and now he’s got a situation. Is it safer in Soul Hut than...whatever this is?

I wouldn’t know either.

So he just decides to uh...look directly at it while everyone else deals with orb hell.

The three knights of Atlantis decide to revive the respective owners of their cards.

So Pegasus just has to sit back, relax, and find some other unsuspecting orb person to share his fanfiction deep cuts with.

PS, that was not an exaggeration on the lazy PowerPoint spiral-in transition--this episode was a marvel of “Oh crap we ran out of time!” last-ditch effort animation and I approve.

(read more under the cut)

And if you thought they were done being orbs now that we’re on a physical mortal plane--nah.

This is the closest Pharoah and Yugi have ever gotten to a physical hug. Just throwing it out there that this is the only time they’ve touched in any way as two separate entities. Also--I like that this is the same way Yugi holds his necklace when he’s talking to Pharaoh. Cute little parallel there.

And as I mentioned, there were a lot of people just hugging it out as if it’s the last episode of the season. First off, one of the most huggy people on this show, which I’m still surprised is the Kaibas.

(he did legitimately pretend to be asleep by the way, because as he was spiraling out of hell he was like “whaoooahahhh”)

So I guess if Mokuba, Tristan, and Tea woke up without being orbs first, then that really does mean they never died 2 episodes ago.

Fine. This is fine. I’ll append my headcanon.

...so Dartz really was just so tired of them that he decided to make them take a nap, huh? That Mokuba was so annoying he was just like “I’m turning them off ok? Not like OFF off, not killing them or anything, that would be rude--I just don’t like small one.”

Meanwhile Tea has a Yugi appreciation moment where she’s reunited with her very confusing relationship. Which is how she likes it best. Undefined in nearly every sort of way. A relationship made entirely out of subtext.

(and honestly, relationships made entirely out of subtext is like 75% of the teen dating experience, which I may have mentioned before, but I do not remember if I have because 2020 has wiped my memory of just so many things.)

I vocally, out-loud, went “Ahhhh!” at the screen because I FORGOT how big his eyes are. They are so wild usually, but with the animation B-team at the helm, I was just not ready for the eyes to return. Yugi’s eyes are just...an abomination in every way and I forget when I see them consistently. I get used to them, I get over it...But when I go an entire season without these hell eyes staring directly at me every five seconds, then it’s like I’ve seen them for the first time.

I’m glad he’s back but man his eyes.

Those eyes.

Anyway, on for some more awkward hugs. First off, Yugi’s visceral reaction to his pretty-much-a-wife-at-this-point giving him a...hug?

(she’s kneeling, by the way. Bro mentioned that it looks like she picked him up and held him entirely by the neck--that would have been great, and I would never doubt Tea’s strength, but she had the decency not to do that.)

And then to Yugi’s just overall confusion to whatever Joey Wheeler defines as a hug.

I am 5 feet 0 inches tall, much like Yugi, and can confirm that yes, some people do hug me like this.

This type of hug should be illegal, it’s very disorienting.

Then, Yugi got to do what he does best.

The FIRST THING he does from coming back from death is immediately hold back information. Mm. Yugi at his finest.

At the point that you’d assume that someone in this room would indicate that maybe this hell vortex is like...a situation...Roland comes in the room screaming for Kaiba to come outside and tell him what the hell to do with his life.

So they go outside and the city of Atlantis is popping out of the sea and flying directly into the air--which...sure, it doesn’t really go in the air usually...but I’ll take it.

And in case you’re like...wait, I thought Atlantis was in California, not in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, don’t worry, it’ll get even more confusing later on.

Also, this happened.

Most of the human race freakin died so like...not sure what we should be concerned about here. Gotta get that one last guy in Florida to board up his house, I guess.

I like that Tea is contractually obligated to beg Yugi to stay behind so she doesn’t have to live without him when...it’s like...Tea, your relationship is already a big ass question mark, and Yugi actually dying did not even mean you were living without him. He’s been around this whole season as Pharaoh, my dude. You have the only boyfriend who will not only never officially date you but will also officially never go away.

So like...earlier in the season it was mentioned that Florida had the pieces of Atlantis shoved in a museum so like...is Atlantis off of Florida now? Because the Battle of Atlantis was in the Bay Area, and Dartz lives in San Francisco, and they went on a helicopter and flew out to the sea so...

We GOTTA be in the Pacific, right?

Anyway, it could be that they’re worried it’ll hit the East Coast of Japan--which, yes--it would. That would also be way more pertinent to our cast of people who live in Japan, it’s just that if you’re doing a show in English that takes place in the USA and you say the “East Coast” it only means New York.

I don’t think the translation team got the memo, it was a very weird line.

Tea wishes Yugi luck instead of Pharaoh for once, and Yugi was like “I don’t know why you want to talk to me instead of the version of me with the fine ass.” and his confusion was kind of cute, but they didn’t actually go into any more deets than this.

Valon and Mai were almost making out with each other’s dead body like ten episodes ago, so maybe the team felt like they had enough practice to maybe almost approach something happening with their flagship couple? Almost.

But also...Yugi just has no idea that a few days ago Tea was trying to get Pharaoh to talk to her on a Caltrain by talking about wearing little swimsuits on a Florida beach date, and then Pharaoh got so upset he went to the tiny area between trains and started sobbing while punching a wall. Yugi doesn’t know this. I don’t think anyone will ever tell him.

And like...will anyone tell Yugi that Pharaoh woke up in Tea’s bed? Like no one, right? Like no one even knows that happened? The irony of how cautious Yugi is with this relationship after Pharaoh was just slicing and dicing for this entire season is great. It’s also probably unintentional, but I can still laugh at it.

Anyway, inside soul hut, Yugi got a little lost, and then his puzzle started glowing and brought him to the Macguffins from last season. Would have been really inconvenient if these got doused in the sea, honestly, and I don’t think the Ishtars would have appreciated it.

Also, this puzzle sensor would have been really, really useful in S2.

Meanwhile, I think Seto and Joey just stared at this glowy gate of hell thing being all “Do you know what this is, Kaiba? I was dead” and Kaiba being all “Hell if I know, I was also dead, I don’t know what this thing is.” And Joey being like “Well Yugi doesn’t know what it is, he was also dead.” and Kaiba being like “The only one of us alive was the dead guy who lives in Yugi’s imagination?”

And then Joey being like “Also, where the hell are we?”

So, frustrated that this obvious trap was simply too confounding, Dartz decides to explain to our dumb as hell cast what a “door” is.

Where we can then admire the sights of Atlantis! Which is mostly brick buildings and giant gates with snakes on them.

Also it would just be COVERED in dead fish but we’re gonna skip that and save it for what would be an extremely ill-fated Netflix live-action series that they will probably eventually make of Season 4. Netflix can’t help itself, you know it can’t. This is a spicy series. It would be terrible in gritty live action. Make it happen, Netflix.

I feel like the artist was trying desperately to fix Joey’s bangs and I feel that on an emotional level. We all want to fix Joey’s bangs. Why did they stop at Joey?

They find Dartz in some weird Gazebo which...OK. It was a whole lot of weird concept art that I didn’t cap because it’s like...nothing is terrifying about a Gazebo...

I straight up don’t understand Atlantis culture.

So, Dartz decided that he could just...use himself to raise the Great Leviathan. He had only one more soul he needed, and he was just as powerful as Yami--so lets just do it, lets just raise the snake!

MAN I just realized what a euphemism this season is.

Good job, Dartz.

Course this is how he spun his story to us, but he seemed pretty surprised when the Great Leviathan gobbled him up in the first 10 minutes of the episode.

But this is the story Dartz is sticking to. He, himself, will raise the Leviathan, himself, and he is very happy with his decision that he made all by himself. I mean, Dartz has been alive for 10,000 years, and maybe he got bored of immortality.

Dartz could have done this from day 1.

What’s up, Sephiroth? Nice little uh final fantasy thing we’re doing with this lizard’s face. I really can’t unsee these uneven man boobs (like what is that angle?) but it’s fine. Dartz doesn’t need hands or...legs...he’s a dragon now, like he can just bite stuff and fly around and stuff. Can’t be that bad.

But for reals, what is the dragon’s angle here?

what is it gonna DO?

Like after everyone’s dead. Is it just gonna...float around? Fly around outer space? Enjoy the sunrise?

Like what do dragons...DO?

Anyway, I’m sure we’ll never get the answer on why the Leviathan wanted to leave the core of the Earth so stinkin bad, but maybe--just maybe--this season might actually end next episode? Maybe?

Will I actually finish this season in 2020! I might! Y’all I MIGHT!

And for anyone reading these for the first time, here’s a link to read these in chrono order

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katlyn1948 · 5 years ago

Text

On My Way: For the Gendrya Gift Exchange

@thereluctantbadger this is for you! I enjoyed doing this for the @gendrya-gift-exchange

I hope you enjoy!!

Also I wanted to add, I left the story quite open ended, so don’t hate me if you don’t like open ended stories!!!

On My Way

Katlyn1948

Summary:

Based off of the prompt: Gendry is trying to get to the hospital before Arya gives birth.

Notes:

For TheReluctantBadger.

So...this is my submission for Gendrya Gift Exchange. I am not going to lie, I had a hard time with this prompt and this story is REALLY dialogue heavy. I had a lot of different ideas of what I wanted to do, but they all just seemed meh. I finally came up with this alternating POV's idea and what Arya and Gendry are doing individually. I didn't have time to edit this as well, I've been really busy at work (it is always like this at the end of the year) and have hardly any time to write any of my WIPs. The deadline for this was tomorrow and I wanted to post it today because I know I wouldn't have time to do it tomorrow. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!!

Work Text:

ARYA

Arya was uncomfortable.

She was more than that; she was miserable.

It was two weeks well past her due date and she was sure that her child would never come into the world. Why she even agreed to have a child was beside her. Sure, Gendry had begged and pleaded and gave her the cutest, stupidest puppy dog eyes known to man. However, the fact that she actually caved still astounded her. She never considered herself the motherly type, yet as her pregnancy progressed, she found herself falling in love with the being growing inside her.

She was ready, that she was sure of; she just needed to get it out of her womb.

Restless nights began the beginning of her third trimester and eventually kicking Gendry out of the bed was the only sure way she could get a moderate good night’s rest, but when the end of her pregnancy (or so she thought) approached, sleep was the last thing she could get. Her swollen stomach and the constant somersaults her baby insisted on doing kept her up most of the night. Not even the kind presence of her husband could soothe her insomnia.

“Maybe we should walk the neighborhood. I heard it could help induce labor.” Gendry stated three days after her due date.

Arya was sitting on the couch opposite him, fiddling with crochet needles and yarn. She taken up the hobby the moment her OBGYN put her on strict bed rest because of her petite frame and sheer size of her over grown belly. She wanted to make a simple hat of the baby, but it was turning more into a sock, despite her constant efforts.

“Gendry, I’m fine. The doctor said that these things are normal. I’m sure the baby will come in a few days’ time.” She said as she struggled with the current row of stiches.

Gendry snorted, “Watch it come so unexpectedly, not even you nor I will be prepared.”

Arya’s eyes snapped up to meet his, a very distinctive glare pooling from her irises, “Don’t you dare jinx me. I have been prepared since the doctor put me on bed rest. I am ready for this baby, are you?”

“Of course I am! I just finished setting up the crib and the walls of the nursery are pained that soft pale yellow you wanted.” Gendry pretended to be insulted by Arya’s words, gasping with feigned innocence.

Arya scoffed, “It’s more to it than that.”

She shook her head at him, returning her attention to the pile of yarn sitting on her lap. It really was futile effort, for she was never one for such crafts. She knew how to sew a button on shirt of course, but crocheting was an entirely different feat.

Arya struggled with the last few stiches before finally throwing the needles across the living room with a resounding clank.

“Is everything alright?” Gendry asked as he moved by her side.

“No.” Arya whimpered. “I really want this baby out of me.”

Gendry sighed, pulling Arya into his arms so she could rest on his chest. “The baby will come and she will be perfect just like her mother.”

“She?”

“I feel like it’s a girl, don’t you?”

Arya groaned, “I don’t know, maybe it should make its way into the world so I can find out!”

She poked at her belly, trying to get a ruse out of the babe within her. A few moments passed before a noticeable kick protruded, causing Arya to grunt in discomfort.

“I don’t think she liked that.” Gendry teased.

Arya turned in his arms, punching his gut a little more forcefully than she intended, “Shut up, stupid.”

GENDRY

He had fallen asleep on the couch with Arya nestled in his arms.

She has been so uncomfortable as of late, that he tried to do anything he could to help with her ever growing stomach, even if it meant giving up his bed.

The first time he was kicked out of their room, he was sure that he had done something stupid. There were plenty of times where Gendry would do something without thinking, causing Arya to completely ghost him, even if he was two feet away.

But that night he knew that there was nothing that he had done that day that could have caused her to be upset with him, so instead of marching off to the couch without question, he huffed and barged into their room, with the lights on full blast.

“What in the bloody seven hells is wrong with you!” She barked from their bed.

“Why are you kicking me out of our bed. I know I didn’t do anything.” Gendry countered, his lips pursing in annoyance.

He could hear Arya’s muffled groan from under her pillow as she threw their duvet off her body, “I know you didn’t do anything, you stupid bull! I kicked you out because you’re uncomfortable.”

Gendry looked at with confusion, “I’m…uncomfortable?”

“Yes! With this growing baby and your sheer size, I cannot find a comfortable position to sleep in, so I kicked you out. Surely, you don’t want your pregnant wife sleeping on the couch.” She questioned.

Gendry’s cheeks went red, “No?”

“Good answer. Now, if you please, shut of the damn light and let me sleep!” Before Gendry could understand what was going on, a white pillow came flying towards his face. He dodged it easily but complied with his wife’s wishes and made himself comfortable on the couch.

Three months had gone by and he was still confided to the couch, unable to get a decent rest since. He didn’t complain, but his back sure was screaming from the lack of a proper bed. He knew how miserable Arya had been, considering she was nearing two weeks past her due date, and anything he could to help appease her uncomfortableness, he would gladly do.

This night, however, she had fallen asleep right with him, and he was sure that this was the first night she truly had a good rest since kicking him out of their room.

He groaned a bit as he shifted from under her, being mindful not wake her. He reached to the couch side table and clicked his phone, watching as the screen illuminated to read the time. It was nearing 7 am and he was surprised that he already had four missed calls and six text messages from Clegane.

“Shit!” he whispered as he read one of the messages sent.

Two of their mechanics had rang sick and the shop was behind on appointments.

Although Gendry was out for the rest of year, considering Arya was about to pop, he knew that Clegane would need the extra hands. He may have been co-owner, but he still had a responsibility to their clients. So, with a defeated sigh, he gently shook Arya to wake her from her slumber.

“Arya, love, I need to get up.”

He watched as she crinkled her face in annoyance, letting a yawn escape her lips, “Why? You don’t have to go to work.”

“But I do.”

That got her attention. She sprang up from his chest and gave him a glare.

“Don’t look at me like that. Clegane called and two of our mechanics rang sick, I have to go.” He countered.

“Gendry, Sandor can call any of your other mechanics; let one of them come in.”

Gendry shook his head, “I can’t do that. Lem is out on holiday; I doubt he is even in the country, and Anguy his with Beric on a supply run. It will only be for a few hours and I’ll be back before you notice I’m gone.”

“It’s three days before Christmas, Gen. It is one of the busiest days of the year for travel. Everyone is trying to get their car maintenance before they leave on gods know what kind of road trip. Imagine the traffic out there now; you won’t be home until late.”

“Isn’t Sansa supposed to stop by today and have tea? Spend some time with her, I’m sure there is lots you two need to catch up on.” He smiled.

“I’m not some gossiping house wife, but it would be nice to spend time with her.” She said with a defeated sigh.

Gendry smiled, “Great! Now I have to get ready.” He placed a quick kiss on her lips before shuffling out from under her.

“You tell Sandor that if you’re not home by seven, I’ll castrate him!” Gendry heard her yell as he ran off into their bedroom.

He chuckled under his breath before yelling back, “As you wish, milady.”

ARYA

It was nearing 10 AM and Arya was bored out of her mind.

Gendry had left her to do the right thing and Sansa was 45 minutes late due to the ridiculous amounts of traffic that had transpired, leaving Arya alone and miserable. She had given up on her crochet hat, unable to take the painstakingly precision it required to make such a thing. She opted out on buying a light-yellow knitted hat on Amazon three minutes after she threw the yarn and crocheting needles in the garbage bin.

There were so many Nintendo Switch games she could play and the stupid computer players on Super Smash Bros. were not taking it easy on her.

Being bed rest, or as she liked to call it, ‘House Arrest’, was becoming more an issue for Arya than she thought it would be.

For three months straight she had to ‘take it easy’ and ‘be mindful’ so that she didn’t put her baby or herself as risk. Arya understood that she had to be careful, but she wasn’t expecting bed rest to be so restraining. Sure, she could get up and walk about her house or even make her way to the back yard for some fresh air, but anything else seemed like a big no-no.

Her OB-GYN gave her the go ahead to do some light exercises, but not at the gym and certainly nothing that she used to do before getting pregnant.

It was suffocating, and she was beginning to hate being pregnant.

She wanted her freedom, or a least a trip to the grocery store without having to get permission. She couldn’t wait for the baby to be here and in her arms, for at least she would be able to get out of her house when it did finally arrive, even if it is a trip to the hospital.

She grumbled in frustration for a few more minutes before her doorbell rang, indicating that Sansa had finally made it through the traffic.

Arya struggled a bit to lift herself from the couch, huffing for a breath as she finally got her bearings. She waddled over to the door and swiftly pulled it open, immediately pulling her sister into an awkward hug.

“Oh, look at you! You’re so-”

“If you say big, I will punch you.” She deadpanned.

“Radiating. You’re so radiating.” Sansa quickly recovered.

Arya stepped aside from the entryway and allowed her sister to enter the house.

“So, where is Gendry?” Sansa said as she shrugged off her coat and draped it across a dining chair.

“At work. Apparently two of his mechanics rang sick and he had to go and cover the shift.”

“But he is supposed to be out until the new year. What was Sandor thinking?”

Arya shrugged, “I tried to convince him to stay, but you know how Gendry is. He wouldn’t be able to leave the shop like that.”

“He is such a good man; you really did get lucky with him.” Sansa sighed.

“I did, didn’t I?” Arya chuckled.

The two sisters enjoyed the comfortable silence as Arya made her way into the kitchen, pouring two mugs of hot tea. She shuffled her way back to the dining table and gently placed the mug on the table for Sansa to grab.

“So, how have you been?” Sansa asked as she took a sip of her tea.

“Tired, irritable, cranky…I mean the list goes on.”

“Well, you look like you’re about to pop.”

Arya scoffed, “I wish! The baby is nearly two weeks late and it won’t stop kicking me to death!”

Sansa’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she hears her sister’s words, “Two weeks! Arya, have you told your doctor?”

“Of course, I have!”

“And?”

“They will induce on Christmas Eve, if the baby doesn’t come before then.” She admitted.

Sansa sighed, “Okay, does Gendry know? And that is just in two days, It won’t be long until you have your baby in your arms.”

Arya groaned in frustration, “No, he doesn’t know and that’s not the point, Sansa.”

“Then what is it?”

Arya took a breath in order to gather her bearings, “I don’t want to be induced. I want this baby to come when it’s ready, not because some doctor had to make it so. I want to do this the right way.”

Sansa looked at her sister. For the first time in her life, she saw Arya vulnerable and afraid and all she could do was sweep her little sister in her arms and hug her.

“It will be alright. You have two days, right. That gives this baby plenty of time to come on its own volition.”

Arya embraced her sister tightly and was thankful for her visit.

She hadn’t seen her Sansa since last Christmas, and she was sorely missing sister constant advice. They may not have gotten along when they were younger, but now as adults she was grateful for Sansa.

“I hope you’re right.” Arya whispered as they pulled away from their hug.

She hadn’t realized that Sansa’s tea mug was sitting on the edge of the table when she knocked it over with her elbow, causing it to shatter on the hardwood floor.

“Shit!” She cursed as she bent down to pick up the mess.

Arya was no more than halfway over when she felt an immediate pressure in lower back, along with the steady stream of liquid running down her legs. She gasped and pulled herself straight before placing a hand over her protruding stomach.

“What is it?” Sansa asked as she rose from her dining chair to aid her sister.

“I think…I think my water just broke.”

GENDRY

The normal fifteen-minute drive it took to get from his house to the shop turned into a 45-minute obstacle from hell. To Gendry, it seemed as if everyone on the face of the planet was trying to get out of King’s Landing, making it near impossible to get to the shop any sooner.

He could already hear Clegane’s mouth and would have to brace himself for a whole slew of profanities that was sure to come his way as soon as he entered the shop.

Why he went into business with the famed boxer, Sandon ‘The Hound’ Clegane, was beyond Gendry. He knew he had a soft spot for Arya, considering he trained her for nearly decade in competitive boxing, but Gendry never believed that he would agree to open a mechanic shop with him.

It was a desperate move on Gendry’s end, that turned out to be rewarding. Sure, he had to suffer constant verbal abuse from the man, but it could have been worse, or at least that’s what Gendry tells himself.

For three and half years they’ve been in business. One would think that after spending all that time with one another, they would grow to become friends, but that was far from what happened. If anything, their constant bickering has only gotten worse, making for interesting work days.

Gendry rounded the corner, seeing his shop come into view.

It was modest; no where near some of the other mechanic shops that were around King’ Landing, but it had a welcoming feel that invited all types of people from around the area. In the short time they’ve been open, the shop has grown quite the clientele. Everything from high politicians to working class citizens; they all came for the services that Gendry and Clegane had to offer.

“Gendry? What are you doing here?” A familiar voice stopped him on the way to the back of the shop.

He turned as was greeted by the same blue eyes that he possessed. His sister, Mya, was seated at the receptionist desk with a large cup of coffee and a half-eaten cheese Danish. She looked exhausted and hadn’t expected her brother to walk in.

“Clegane called me in, considering we are two men down.” He said with a shrug.

“Fucking Clegane! I told him not to call you. He knows that Arya can pop at any moment, besides you are on holiday for another three weeks!” She scolded him.

Gendry rose his hands in defense, “Hey, don’t take it out on me, tell the other boss man.”

“I’m going to kill him.” She huffed.

Gendry chuckled before realizing that she shouldn’t have been there.

“Wait, what are you doing here? Don’t you have today off? Where is Bella?” He threw questions at her.

Mya sighed, “Bella had an audition today, so she asked me to cover her shift. She should be here in a couple of minutes to relieve me. I must get back home to the girls.”

“How long have you been here?” He asked as he wandered over to the desk, placing his elbows on the desk.

“Since one in the morning. You know, you should really re-consider this whole 24-hour thing.” She said with a yawn.

“And who is with the girls?”

“Edric.”

Gendry scoffed, “You left Edric alone with children? I’d say you have a better chance at keeping them alive here at the shop.”

“Oh, I’m sure he will be hiding away in a corner when I get home.” She chuckled.

Gendry smiled before turning back to head to the back of the shop.

“Oh wait! Before I forget…Edric told me that father wants to spend Christmas with us. I really don’t want to and I’m sure you and Arya want to take it slow, with the baby and everything.”

“Actually, the Starks are coming for Christmas, so Arya and I will be spending the holiday with them.”

“In your tiny house?”

“Gods no! The Starks have a manor here in King’s Landing, we will be there. You’re welcome to join. I’m sure the girls would love it and Robb’s boys are going to be there.” He admitted.

Mya nodded, “I think I’ll take you up on that offer. The girls loved spending time with them at Sansa’s wedding last summer. They will be glad to see them again.”

“Good then it’s settled. Now, I have to hurry to the back before Clegane rips my head off.”

Mya chuckled and waved her brother off, “Go.”

Gendry smiled and jogged off towards the back, preparing himself for the worst.

He managed to slip into the break room without Clegane seeing him and pulled on his work overalls. Every inch of the grey-blue suit was covered in grease spots. There was a whole in the front left breast area and the seem of one of his sleeves was coming apart. The overalls had been with since his first days as a mechanic and Mott’s and he wasn’t willing to part with them just yet. The zipper still worked, and for the most part, it was in one piece. Clegane had called is a piece of shit, and Gendry couldn’t argue with his sentiments, but they were nostalgic for Gendry and so long as they still did their job, the overalls were staying on his body.

He pulled on his steel-toe work boots (he learned from his past mistakes) and laced them tight to keep them in place. Slamming the locker closed, he made his way to the work floor where three of his workers were working on two different cars.

“Oi! If it doesn’t need two people, then one you lot get our arse working on that back car.” He yelled, pointing to the mini van across the shop floor.

One of the newer mechanics, Oliver, scurried over to the minivan and began assessing what needed to be done.

“Well its about fucking time you showed up!” Clegane staggered over to Gendry with a very distinguished glare.

“Sorry, Clegane, the traffic was horrible.” Gendry tried to reason.

“Cry me a fucking river, Baratheon. We have appointments back up to fucking Winterfell and not enough men to cover it. I’ve already got bitched on by some snooty politician’s wife and a butcher nearly severed my head. I don’t have time for your sob stories. Oh, and turn off that fucking phone of yours, yeah? I don’t need you distracted.”

“But, Clegane, I can’t do that. Arya is-”

“I know the she wolf is about to pop, but if she hasn’t given birth now, she ain’t going to in the next couple of hours. Now, turn it off before I break the fucking thing.” He turned on his heel and stomped off towards the other mechanics on the floor, barking out commands as he did so.

Gendry cursed under his breath, praying to the gods above that nothing happened while he was working.

ARYA

The pressure in her back began to increase as Sansa weaved her way through the horrible traffic that had descended upon King’s Landing. She could feel the throbbing pains hit her every five minutes and she was sure they would never make it to the hospital on time.

She tried to focus on her breathing and not the buzzing world around her, but Sansa’s constant screaming at people who couldn’t even hear her made it near impossible.

“Have you tried calling him again?” Arya asked through gritted teeth. Sansa had been trying to ring Gendry for the last hour, but the call would go to voicemail every time. It was becoming annoying and Arya swore that if Gendry missed the birth of their child, she would string him up by his testicles and never sleep with him again.

“There is no answer-move out of the fucking way!” She yelled once more.

“Well did you try the shop?”

“The line is busy. Probably all the last-minute people trying to get their cars fixed before the new year.”

Arya groaned as another wave of pain hit. “Uh…try Mya. I think she has a shift today-ahh.”

Sansa nodded and began dialing the number on her phone and placing it to her ear.

“Uh, Mya?...Hi! this is Sansa Stark-yes, Arya’s sister. Are you at the shop?....Oh, well is there a way to reach them?....Well the line is busy…..Arya is in labor….yes, and we’ve tried his cell, but it goes straight to voicemail….he what?!....My sister is going to kill him…..will you?.....that would be great!....see you then, bye!”

“Wha-what did she say?” Arya huffed.

“Well, she’s not at the shop. She left about fifteen minutes ago, but she doesn’t live far and is headed back over there. It seems Sandor made Gendry shut off his phone.”

Arya groaned and she clutched her stomach, “WHAT! I’m going to murder them both! Oh my gods! Are we there yet?!”

Sweat was dripping down her face and the pain was becoming increasingly unbearable. She wasn’t sure how long it would be until the baby finally did come, but she hoped it wasn’t until its father made his appearance.

“We should be there in about two minutes, maybe five.”

Arya grimaced, “For your sake, I hope its two.”

GENDRY

Work came easily for Gendry and he could easily find himself distracted with it. He enjoyed the pastime and found a real comfort in doing what he did. Since he was a teenager, he had been working in shops across King’s Landing, picking up skills from other mechanics along the way.

It wasn’t until he reached Mott’s shop that he realized he could do this for a living.

Mott taught him almost everything he needed to know how to do the trade and when it was time for him to leave and try to make is own way, he took all that knowledge and made it into what his shop is today.

There was something about working with steel and metal and all the intricate little parts of car that intrigued Gendry. It was like a puzzle that he couldn’t wait to piece together.

He was working on a very expensive car with a very expensive engine problem.

Tyrion Lannister had used it for street racing…again and ruined the engine by doing so. It wasn’t an easy fix and it sure wasn’t a fast one, but Gendry new what the problem was and could easily have it done before the end of the day.

He had quoted the play boy for two days work, but if he managed to stay on schedule, then he could be a full day ahead.

He was under the car, so anything going on around him he could hardly hear. He was trying to patch through some wires when he was dragged out from under the car with Sandor Clegane looming over him.

“What the fuck, Clegane! I was working!”

“Not anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

Clegane threw his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to a person behind him.

Gendry groaned as he lifted himself up, wiping his dirty hands on his overalls. He thought he was about to meet with another client, not his older sister who he last seen just two hours prior.

Her expression looked grim and her face pale. It looked like she had received bad news. Gendry swiftly made his way over to where his stood, gently placing his hands on her shoulders, “Mya, what’s wrong? Are the girls okay?”

Mya nodded, “The girls are fine, but you’re not.”

“What do you mean?”

“Arya is in labor and she nor Sansa have been able to get ahold of you! Why in the seven hells would you turn off your phone!”

“Well Clegane made me-wait, what? Arya is in labor!”

Mya scoffed, “Yes, you daft buffoon! Now come on, we have to go!”

Gendry nodded and scurried after his sister, leaving the shop and Sandon Clegane behind.

ARYA

The steady beep of machines echoed around the hospital room.

As soon as Sansa pulled up to the ER, the nurses were able to get Arya situated into a room, with everything she needed to be settled.

The epidural was less than pleasant, but the effects the medicine was giving was like heaven to Arya.

Sansa had been making phone calls to all the necessary people, letting them know that she was due to give birth at any hour. Of course, she may have been over exaggerating, considering Arya’s OB-GYN put her at seven centimeters dilated.

“Well, Arya, it’s a good thing you came in when you did. You very well may have had this baby in the car if it wasn’t for your sister’s driving.” Her doctor, Margaery Tyrell, explained.

“I didn’t realize she has such road rage until today.” She laughed.

“Yes, well you were-are in labor.” Sansa countered.

“Let’s hope your husband is able to make it through that unruly traffic.” Dr. Tyrell assured.

Sansa nodded, “Yes, let’s hope.”

Dr. Tyrell gave a small smile before exiting the room, leaving the two sisters.

They had tried to call Gendry four more times since settling in, yet there was still no answer. Arya was beginning to worry and hoped that he would make it. His lack of communication was not comforting, and the last thing Arya needed was the added stress of not knowing where her husband was.

Gendry was never late…for anything, yet he decides that today would be a good day to be.

GENDRY

Gendry was a timid man, for the most part, but now he was keeping true to the nickname Arya had given him. Like a bull, he was forcing his way through the traffic, trying to reach the hospital before his child entered the world. His hand was on the horn more than it was on the steering wheel, and his anger flared anytime someone decided to cut him off.

“Gendry, brother, maybe you should slow down? The last thing you need a speeding ticket.” Mya tried to reason with him, but he was unstoppable.

“Mya, I have to get to the hospital. Arya could be giving birth as we speak!”

“Okay, she’s not. I just texted Sansa, and the doctor puts her at about eight centimeters. I’d say we have an hour or two tops before she ready to push, that is if she is progressing normally. But if she’s progressing faster than normal then…”

“Then what?”

“Then maybe ten or fifteen minutes.”

“Shit!”

ARYA

“Where is he!” Arya exclaimed. She was becoming increasingly paranoid, and it did little to help her current situation.

“I told you he is on his way. Mya said they should be here in ten minutes.” Sansa said calmly from across the hospital room.

“Sansa, I’m not sure I have ten minutes. I am eight centimeters, probably nearing nine. I can feel the pressure and I’m sure I will have to push here soon.” The tears began to stream down her face, and she was sure she looked like a blubbering idiot. This shouldn’t have made her emotional, but between her missing husband and the impending birth of her child, she couldn’t help but let them flow.

“Arya, he will be here, and if not, then I am right by your side.” Sansa crossed the room and bent down to give her sister a hug.

Arya smiled and returned the embrace, hoping that Gendry made his appearance soon.

A ding from Sansa’s phone interrupted their sisterly hug.

Sansa grabbed the phone from the small table and huffed in frustration.

“What? What is it?” Arya asked.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Well, where are you going? Sansa? What’s happening?”

GENDRY

He wasn’t sure how he made it to the hospital in under twenty minutes, but he did. His truck was parked haphazardly and his paces to the front desk were large. Mya was struggling to keep up with him, but he didn’t care. His main goal was to find Arya’s room and be there for his wife and child.

“Excuse me?” He said to the receptionist at the front desk.

She was chatting with several nurses, completely unaware of his presence.

He cleared his throat and said once more, “Excuse me?”

“Yes?” The receptionist asked with a very snooty voice.

“I am looking for Arya Stark’s room number.”

“Name?”

“I just said it was ‘Arya Stark’.” He deadpanned.

The receptionist sighed, “Your name.”

“It’s Gendry Baratheon, I’m her husband.”

“Then why isn’t she under Arya Baratheon?” the receptionist stalled.

“Because she kept her maiden name…look that is besides the point. I need to know what room number she is in. She is about to give birth to our child, and I need to be there.” He said a little frantically.

“Sir, there is no need for hostility. Please be patient while I look her up in my systems.”

Gendry gave a curt laugh, “Hostility? I am not being hostile. If anything, you are the one being hostile! I just need to know my wife’s room number!”

“Sir, please calm down before I call security. Now we have to verify who you say you are, that could take a couple of minutes. So please be pati-”

“Fucking hells!” Gendry yelled as he slammed his fists against the desk.

He grumbled in frustration as he fished his forgotten phone out of his overall pocket. He quickly turned it on and typed frantically on the keyboard, waiting for a reply. A few seconds later and his phone dinged with a response.

“Sir, we need your ID.” The receptionist cooed from the desk.

“Look, I forgot my wallet in the car, but my sister-in-law is coming down and I’ll go up with her.” He assured.

“We cannot allow th-”

“Is there a problem?”

Gendry’s lips curled into a smile as he saw the familiar red flame of hair make her way to the desk.

“Ma’am, please give me a moment.”

“No, you see, this is Gendry Baratheon. Maybe you’ve heard of his father, Robert Baratheon? The famed political power house that nearly became Prime Minster? Or perhaps you’ve heard of my father, Eddard Stark? Councilman of the north? How do you think they would react if I told them that Gendry here had to miss the birth of his child because of silly nonsense?” She smirked.

“I-I, well…”

“Exactly what I thought. Now, please excuse us.”

Gendry smirked and followed Sansa up to the maternity ward, where Arya’s room was now filled with doctors and nurses alike.

“Just in time, Mr. Baratheon. Mrs. Stark here is about ready to push.” Dr. Tyrell smiled.

Gendry smiled and pushed his way through the nurses in order to get in Arya’s side.

“I thought you weren’t going to make it.” She huffed.

“And miss this? You’re crazy.” He gave her a small kiss and prepared to meet his child.

#arya/gendry #Arya Stark #Gendry Baratheon #pregnant arya #gendry gift echange #thereluctantbadger #for you #gift exchagne #this was kinda thrown together #hope it makes sense #enjoyeverymoment

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beantown-boy · 5 years ago

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Today We Are |An Andi Mack Fic|

**So I was very inspired by Tumblr User @dumb-binch-juice that I decided to write fic of my own. I kind of borrowed some characters, but hey I just hope it’s good. This happens the December of the GHC’s Freshman Fall. Enjoy**

“So, I’m leaving RISD now. I’ll see you soon, Cyrus.”

“I’m still mad you’re spending New Year’s in L.A., Andi.”

“Well then, you’re gonna have to be mad at me in person in 6 minutes, 10 if I pick up Amber first. Are you sure you can keep it up for that long?”

“I hate how right you are,” Cyrus groaned into the phone as he slipped into his boots. The walk from RISD to Brown was super short, and while his suitcase was packed for winter break, he was still in house clothes. He ignored the buzzing of his phone while pulling on his winter boots, and worried if he was going to be too hot on the plane. He barely managed to squeeze into his coat and rush to the Mo-Champ desk before Andi and Amber arrived.

The ride to the airport was occupied mostly by Amber giving them a play by play of her Discrete Mathematics final, so Cyrus gave up even trying to understand what she was saying. Andi, likewise, spent the ride to the airport gazing wistfully through the glass. It had been a week since she’d submitted her final projects, and while she’d waited so that she could fly back with Cyrus and Amber, he knew she was probably already envisioning seeing everyone else back in Shadyside. Or maybe she was just falling asleep. Cyrus was pretty tired himself, after all he’d just crushed his Age of Revolutions final. He’d had the past six months to spend with Andi and Amber, so he might as well be rested when he saw everyone else...

When he got out of the cab, Cyrus was surprised to not find anyone waiting outside the house. Andi was dropping her stuff off with her grandmother, and wouldn’t be swinging by for another hour or so, since she had to explain her whole semester to Cece. Still, Cyrus had at least expected to see Buffy and TJ. A cold wind blew a flurry of snow off the ground as he walked to the door, opened it, and was immediately engulfed. Buffy picked him up in a bridal carry, swinging him around just to prove that she still could. Just when she set him down, he noticed something else.

“You straightened your hair again?”

Buffy shook her head, making her ponytail flip easily over her shoulder.

“Yeah, it was for exams. I didn’t want to look like a mess, but I also wasn’t going to manage it every morning. Plus, Atlanta has great salons. Some of the girls on the basketball team showed me a really great one that’s like 10 minutes from the dorm!”

Buffy continued expounding on her experiences as they moved to the basement. And as she spoke, Cyrus realized she didn’t just look different,she was different. Apparently, even Buffy had gotten a C on her first college exam. But the ease with which she talked about it was uncanny. She was more honest about how her life had been, and way more humble. It felt like a stranger had slipped in when Cyrus wasn’t looking, keeping just enough to be familiar but not enough to be the same.

Finally they made it downstairs, where Jonah and Marty were already playing ping pong. As soon as he saw Cyrus, Jonah dropped his paddle and ran to give him a bro hug. Cyrus leaned into it. It was nice to know that Jonah’s eagerness hadn’t faded over the past months.

“Cy-Guy, how’s it been? Your parents said you kicked ass before they left, but have you seriously already made Brown your bitch?”

Cyrus’ jaw dropped. “Jonah, you swear now?”

“You don’t?” Jonah nodded for a moment before adding, “That makes sense. You’ve always been very, well…”

He mimed a square with his hands in quick, rigid motions before Marty cut in.

“I think the word he’s looking for is grounded. You basically self-actualized sophomore year of high school. The rest of us just needed to catch- ow!” he yelled,as Jonah elbowed him.

“I swear, he takes one course on basic Psych and he thinks he’s your fucking dad. It’s been insufferable. He keeps on telling me that my anxiety is caused by the deep seated trauma of my birth. AND he keeps implying that I wanna fuck my mom, even though he says Freud is stupid.”

“It’s not your fault that Judy’s dummy thick.” Marty supplied.

“Shut up!”

Buffy gave a solid laugh at that, and Cyrus was quick to follow. They let the joy of seeing each other again wash over them for just a moment, before Buffy spoke again.

“You guys are so STUPID. Speaking of,” she looked between Jonah and Marty, “has TJ texted you when he’s coming? He was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago.”

Cyrus froze, and he immediately reached for his phone. He had totally forgotten the text in the middle of studying for finals. How could he have been so insensitive? Cyrus hadn’t seen TJ since September. He should’ve at least done something before the flight. But, the message stared back at him.

Cyrus quickly typed a reply.

And followed it with another.

< Which means that you can see me at my house. Sent December 20>

And another.

<Now. But if you’re driving please don’t look at this. Also I missed you, too. Sent December 20>

He was working his way through a fourth, when he got a call from TJ. The phone was to his ear in a nanosecond.

“Okay, so just to be clear, I did get your text, and I’m so sorry for not responding, and I totally get if you’re mad at me but-”

“It’s whatever, Cyrus. I’m in your driveway now.” Cyrus crumpled at his tone. It was the classic TJ Glass Wall Voice. He was either going to have to wear TJ down enough to actually talk to him, or just hope the TJ would come around. It was time to face the music. He turned to Buffy and smiled, hoping it would cover at least some of his discomfort.

“Actually, he texted me. And just called. He’s outside. I’ll get the door. You guys stay here and catch up.”

Cyrus slipped from the basement, back upstairs and ran to the door.

“Wow.”

Cyrus took a second to appreciate seeing TJ in the flesh. He’d let his hair grow even longer since his last Instapic post in November,and it now hung down to his shoulders. TJ had somehow managed to grow even taller, to the point where Cyrus now came up to his chin. He was also in shorts, and Cyrus couldn’t help but stare in a mix of confusion and amazement.

“Wow yourself.”

TJ stepped inside and pulled Cyrus into a tight embrace, and Cyrus sighed. Even when he was upset, TJ was an excellent hugger. They stood there silently for what felt like hours or maybe just seconds, before Cyrus was able to pull away.

“Listen. I wanted to say that I’m sorry that I didn’t text back. I got caught up in all sorts of studying, and then Ameya, and Shreya, and Thomas, and I all made a no phone pact. And then when I finished my exams, I was super excited and also tired, and I should have called, but I didn’t. And I’m so sorry. You know I still love you, right?”

TJ just grinned, and Cyrus felt the tension leave his body. “I’m honestly not mad at you, babe. I was just super frustrated with your stupid long driveway, plus I hate driving in the snow. And Buffy and Jonah have been blowing up my phone asking if I died, but I didn’t want to get another ticket if I responded. And, yes, I love you too.”

TJ pressed a gentle kiss on Cyrus’ forehead.

“Well, if you wanted to yell at Buffy, she’s downstairs with Jonah and Marty. Plus, Andi’s coming over in a bit. I was thinking we could put on cheesy Hallmark movies, and say that every guy character is Jonah.”

“But, who’s the high strung businesswoman who leaves her successful New York career for Jonah Beck?”

“Is Lenni still around, you know she’s always welcome. And I’m pretty sure she the perfect casting.”

“Yeah. I’ll shoot her a text.”

They moved to the basement, ready for the next two weeks back in Shadyside. Popcorn was made and thrown, Jonah and Buffy dared each other to chug eggnog, and Andi showed up with cake. There was a lot of catching up to do, and even though everyone had changed, Cyrus figured that he might just be okay. He was going to make the most of the two weeks he had with the people he loved the most.

#andi mack #tyrus #tj and cyrus #muffy #andi mack fic #cyrus goodman #buffy driscoll #tj kippen #jonah beck #andi mack fics #platonic cuffy #cyrus and buffy

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jacksjoke · 5 years ago

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yo! i've been following your tumblr mostly just for cql because aha :^) you know how it is :^) but it's left a void in my chest. i know you rb a lot of content for other shows, so i figured i'd ask you for some recs (and the best places to watch them uwu)!! thanks so much i'd die for u

Hello anon!! I totally get you 💀 I’m gonna assume that you want me to rec BLs, so I’ll tell you only the ones that I’ve liked best and why, where I watched them, and possible trigger warnings as well for you :)

So first up is my favorite: Theory of Love

Who stars in it: Off Jumpol (as Kai) and Gun Atthaphan (as Third), aka OffGun, aka icons and best friends who we stan to this very day

Why I recommend: I adore this show for so many reasons but overall the vibe is just so good dfhkhkhj It references like a trillion rom-coms and I won’t spoil it but there is a literal montage of some classic rom-com scenes done by the main characters that is just so fucking hysterical, I cry every time. There’s also a compilation here of movie posters that they recreated to imitate some classic rom-coms as well, which made me DIE from emotions I tell you what. This show is just so funny and makes fun of itself with characters that you genuinely grow to adore. Kai is a chaotic dumb of ass bisexual and we love him in this house (as infuriating as he can be lmfao). It’s so rewatchable GOD 10/10 would recommend.

Warnings: There is no sexual abuse in the show of any kind, except for one scene that is just a kiss and very mild, so I think you’d be all good there. :)

Where to watch: I watched it on YouTube! Here’s the link to episode one part one

History3: Trapped

Who stars in it: Jake Hsu (plays Shao Fei) and Chris Wu (plays Tang Yi), aka weirdos who can’t stop laughing while filming and being dumb in general and I love that for them and me

Why I recommend: I loved it. The main couple is adorable with so much chemistry and I will be totally honest, they remind me SO MUCH of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Like on the rewatch I just did of this show, I couldn’t believe the similarities the character Shao Fei has to Wei Wuxian and his counterpart Tang Yi has to Lan Wangji. Like. When I tell you I was shook the house, I mean it. But the side couple is ALSO iconic the house and the CUTEST like if you don’t want to adopt Zhao Zi and also officiate his wedding by the show’s end, I’d be shocked dfhhkghdjkl All in all, it’s such a funny show with very tender, heartfelt moments that are to die for. This show has it all: plot twists, cops falling in love with mobsters and vice versa, a character whose goal in life is to just eat as much good food as possible… amazing.

Warnings: The show has fighting and violence but seeing as you watched The Untamed, I’m assuming you’re okay with it lol There is an instance where one character tries to rape one of the leads by drugging him, so keep an eye out for that, but I think it will be obvious because he starts to pass out and you will know whether you feel you have to skip the scene or not. He isn’t undressed, it isn’t anything remotely graphic, but he is groped by the asshole I won’t name man fuck that guy but that’s all!

Where to watch: I watched it on newasiantv, link to ep1 here

Dark Blue Kiss

Who stars in it: Fluke Gawin Caskey (Mork) and Podd Suphakorn (Sun) aka two of the most gorgeous and sweet dudes alive fdhgldfhgdk AND BL vets, New Thitipoom (Kao) and Tay Tawan (Pete)

First off: dshhgdksj If you haven’t seen Kiss Me Again or Kiss the Series you might be a little confused. Dark Blue Kiss is sort-of-a-continuation-but-not-really of those other two series, and it sort of adds to the experience if you have seen them. If you want to, just watch Kiss Me Again and I think you’ll be okay honestly; it’s just because you might want context of the characters (Pete and Kao, their friends etc.) and their relationships to one another going into Dark Blue Kiss.

Why I recommend: NOW two of the leads, Sun and Mork, have one of The Best relationships in any BL I’ve ever seen because they have real conversations and have real conflict and issues that they work to get through. Rain (Sun’s younger bro and Mork’s bestie) is an absolute delight and their story arc throughout the show is so iconic we just have to stan. I won’t get into Kao and Pete fhhkhdj because I just have Opinions on fucking w characters/relationships for the sake of drama and that’s what I think this series did to them, unnecessarily ahem But otherwise it’s funny and real and again if you dont literally love Mork and Rain and Sun by the end of it did you even watch the same show???

Warnings: There is a brief scene where one character tries to get w another who is like get tf AWAY weirdo lmfao but there is no actual abuse bc they are stopped well in time to avoid it

Where to watch: I watched Dark Blue Kiss on newasiantv as well because the episodes on YouTube tended to not get subbed as quickly as I wanted which you will understand if you watch this lmao. Here is the link to episode one of Kiss Me Again as well as a link to episode one of Kiss the Series if you feel like watchin those two beforehand

Tharntype the Series

Who stars in it: Gulf Kanawut (Type) and Mew Suppasit (Tharn) aka those two guys who you might see do a shit ton of fanservice that I diligently ignore because I hate fanservice lol This show exists in the same universe as another BL that I am reluctant to put on here lol but will get into later on.

Why I recommend: BEFORE YALL FLAY ME ALIVE djkhgldhgfdjhhkjd OKAY LISTEN genuinely, on a very real level, I FULLY understand why a lot of people here refused to watch this show or couldn’t finish it. You’re totally valid and legit I almost stopped after ten minutes because I was like here we go AGAIN. However! I was so drawn in by the acting that I wanted to give it a chance, and I’m SO GLAD that I did. Gulf and Mew, as well as Mild (who plays Techno) and Kaownah (who plays Lhong) and everyone else who acts in this show, is incredible and their chemistry is insane. I would say it’s some of the best chemistry and acting I’ve seen, BL or otherwise. You get angry at the two main characters interchangeably and I truly feel that that makes it real, you know what I mean? There is no oh he’s in the right, fuck that other guy 100% for either of them. They are both real, flawed men who grow so immensely throughout this series where by the end you’re so proud of their development and the love they find for themselves and in each other??? Because it doesn’t feel like we’ll get there, but they DO. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. We’re getting a second season, which to me is always a tad worrisome because I do think it ended very well and if they fuck with everything (cough KaoPete) just to fuck with it and stir the pot I’m gonna be Upset. But for now, it’s amazing and speaks on topics that aren’t ever addressed. It’s an unfortunate reality in BL that the way so many relationships begin is through sketchy-consensual (drunk, coerced) or flat out like non consensual sexual shit, and this show dives into the aftermath of sexual abuse, the mental impact that has on a person, and how damaging it can be if left unattended. I would give it a chance. I really do think it’s a well done series. Oh and Techno is so relatable and the only one with a brain cell in this show half the time jkdfhhdlkj

Warnings: Like I said, this show is not an easy watch at times. Very often, in fact, it can be difficult. There is homophobic language, two of the characters (I dont want to spoil everything) have been raped in the past, one as a child (which is NOT GRAPHICALLY SHOWN, don’t worry) and the other as a teenager/young adult, which is sort of shown but not in too much detail. Another character in present day “does stuff” to another that isn’t totally consensual, more than once (which is probably my biggest problem with the show and the one thing I really can’t excuse because like bro I don’t care how big your crush is, don’t be an asshole, point blank), but every other sexual thing in the show is consensual and very much wanted

Where to watch: Here is episode one on newasiantv if you want to give this a shot :)

He’s Coming to Me

Who stars in it: Singto Prachaya (Mes) and Ohm Pawat (Thun) aka just two adorable boys

Why I recommend: This show definitely has one of the more unique plots among BLs. I won’t spoil it, and as with all of these I recommend going in without looking up plots because like I know for me movie trailers etc just tell me everything and there doesn’t seem to be a point in watching the movie if I know so much beforehand. The main characters are cute together, there are funny moments and moments that make you cry. And it’s a happy ending, which we love to see :)

Warnings: There is a major character death, no blood though, and you will understand in context that it isn’t as bad as it seems right now lol Nothing that isn’t consensual, which is a miracle in these shows. Overall wholesome content. There is like a weird storyline with one of the character’s moms which was Different to say the least dfjhdflhgkjf but it didn’t ruin the show for me or anything

Where to watch: newasiantv seems to be my go-to lmao

3 Will Be Free

Who stars in it: Joss Way-Ar (Neo), Mild Lapassalan (Miw), and Tay Tawan (Shin). If you watch Dark Blue Kiss or any of those before this, you will recognize Tay and Mild as Pete and Sandee (just friends in those shows). Joss is just such a funny, sweet guy and so is Tay Lowkey biased for them and I honestly often favor TayJoss’ chemistry over TayNew, which I think is controversial lmfaoo but it has to be said lol and obviously Mild is a badass actress and talent so having her here is amazing

Why I recommend: So this is the only BL thus far to feature a polyamorous relationship, which is sort of crazy but I’m so happy it’s been done at least once now. The three have such amazing chemistry and you really grow to care for each of them as individuals as well. They’re just really awesome and I adore them and miss them every day fdjghfdglhkjd There’s also a trans actress!! :D

Warnings: There is quite a bit of gun violence bc one of the character’s father’s is a mob boss. Two side characters are killed, one much further into the show so it hurts even MORE, and one of the other side characters therefore to me doesn’t receive the ending they deserve; it was very messy and I think they deserved better. A woman is in an abusive marriage to a man, which sucked and I skipped a lot of it even though it wasn’t necessarily super violent. I just don’t like that stuff ://

Where to watch: Surprise surprise, newasiantv

Until We Meet Again

Who stars in it: Fluke Natouch (Pharm) and Ohm Thitiwat (Dean), Earth Katsamonnat (Intouch) and Nine Noppakao (Korn). Fluke and Earth invented being friends like……they are so fucking cute and they are both actually queer (have been in public relationships with men) which is always so rare to see and really great :)

Why I recommend: Side couple TeamWin is absolutely iconic. I adore them with my whole body so if for nothing else, watch it for them LMAO But for real InKorn is such a cute couple and PharmDean has a very nice relationship too; they talk about consent and have healthy communication which is so refreshing lmao

Warnings: The show does open with a double suicide by gunshot. I won’t say who, but it is in there. The two main characters have flashbacks/PTSD/nightmares (one worse than the other) which you will understand in context if you watch, but it’s definitely worth the watch

Where to watch: This show is currently airing and I watch it on YouTube; here’s the link to episode one part one

Love By Chance

Who stars in it: Perth Tanapon (Ae) and Saint Suppapong (Pete), Mean Phiravich (Tin) and Plan Rathavit (Can). This is the show that is in the same universe as Tharntype, but the actors who play Techno, Tharn, and Type are different actors in this show than from Tharntype. It’s confusing and messy lol

Warning: I’m putting this before the why I like it because I think it’s necessary for this one. I hesitate to even put LBC on here because there is so much of this show that just makes me uncomfortable. When I first watched this show, the second BL I had ever watched, I had no knowledge of BLs, the actors, or really anything to do with any of this world. So, having grown up with film/tv life where every actor is 27 playing 17, it didn’t occur to me that the actor playing 18 would in fact be 17 instead. Perth was I think 17 or possibly 18 while filming (I don’t know exact dates), which includes sexual scenes that I didn’t even feel comfortable watching BEFORE I knew his age, let alone trying to rewatch the series while knowing about it. I am 20, and was 19 last year when I watched this, so it really skeeves me out to watch those kinds of scenes (BL or otherwise) if actors or actresses aren’t at least 18 or 19. It seems weird because I’m 20 and a queer girl, not like a 50 year old pedophile or something like that, but for my own comfort I tend to skip the more explicit stuff. On my first watch, I skipped the Tharntype, TumTar, and Techno storyline because frankly I didn’t care. Going on to watch Tharntype the Series, I was even happier to have skipped so that I didn’t have to go in with a preconceived idea of the characters from having watched LBC. One of the characters in this version of events is raped or coerced into sex; I don’t even know the details because I just couldn’t be bothered to give it a chance. I firmly believe you can watch this show without watching any of their storylines (and skipping over the more sexual stuff, if you feel you have to), which I know sucks to say bc the actors are all good and I like their other work and them as people, but I just couldn’t do it. It is of course up to you.

Why I recommend: Basically I recommend this just for TinCan lmao and on the chance that you do decide to watch Tharntype, it pays at the end to have a knowledge of the LBC characters because again they are in the same universe and it won’t be as cool if you don’t get it right away like WHAT!!! You know haha so yeah There is going to be a season two dropped sometime this year, focused I believe on TinCan, so I’m literally so fucking excited. Dreams are coming true

Where to watch: I found this show on both Dailymotion and newasiantv

Hey again anon it’s been a minute dfhlhghjd I’m sure this is way longer than you thought and probably don’t want HA but I wanted to be as thorough as possible for you and anyone else who might be new here you feel So some shows I didn’t get into that I watched include Great Men Academy, Together With Me, 2Moons and 2Moons2, Love Sick, ’Cause You’re My Boy (aka My Tee), History3: Make Our Days Count, SOTUS the Series, History2: Crossing the Line, (currently airing) Why R U?, and 2gether.

If you get through the ones I talked about above and want me to talk about these other ones, I’ll do that too!! I hope this helps you and others :D ✌️ ✌️

#answered #bl recs #recs

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