#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]

[coollyinterferes]

The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…

They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…

…and closer…

……until..................

"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.

"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.

"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…

[bonny-kookoo]

Lmao I'm rly fucking tired and accidentally almost posted this ask on my account for some reason instead of as an ask before I caught myself haha but anyways

Hehe so based on this google result about dogs, I was wondering about a drabble with sweet tooth jk buying or giving oc a plushie a few days or so after the first night as a way to comfort/distract her? Maybe he suggests she hold (or him lol) it if she feels lonely. Ur so cool and hope ur feeling good 🫶🫶🫶

Yoongi knows exactly what Jungkook is doing, even if the dog hybrid himself is unaware. You don't seem to realize it either- only Jimin is suspecting something going on as the dog hybrid watches with a wagging tail how you hold the soft lion plush close to you, one hand absentmindedly feeling the soft fabric of the short legs of it.

The lion isn't new at all. It's his- and he's been doing these things for a while now, ever since the camping trip.

Everytime you come over to Yoongis and Jungkook's place, he either drops one of his few plushies in your lap, or attempts to gain your attention in other ways- typically by taking you outside into the garden to look at the fruits he's growing.

You think it's cute- but you fail to really spot the underlying meaning of it.

Though, it's the same way the other way around- Jimin having noticed the way you sometimes push yourself into his side randomly when sitting next to him. Other times, like right now with the lion pillow, he can clearly see your hands grabbing the plush toy, before opening your palms again, just to dig your fingers back in.

Kneading.

And there's also, of course, your typical cat-behavior; from knocking stuff down just to catch Jungkook's attention back on you, to blatantly sitting on his lap even when he's clearly doing something.

"Jungkook likes her." Yoongi says to Jimin next to him, as they watch you push your shoulder into Jungkook's side, who's currently showing you a video on his phone.

"I mean, she seems to like him too. That was what we hoped for, right?" Jimin wonders, having to stiffle a small laugh under his breath when Jungkook has to lift his arms a bit, eyes wide open in surprise while you stubbornly climb into his lap, halfway leaning on him now, tail happily curled around you before you resume watching. The dog hybrid checks in with Jimin for a second with his big round eyes, before he seems to relax again, carefully positioning his arms again to resume the video.

"Hmhm. Though I think they like each other a bit more than we thought they would." The oldest human laughs, shaking his head before he resumes his cooking.

"Wait, you think-" Jimin starts, a bit caught off guard.

"It's pretty obvious. He's definitely head over heels for her, poor guy." He chuckles, turning the steaks in the pan. He's happy for Jungkook- you don't seem like a genuinely bad person at all, after all, you've started to become awfully soft for the dog hybrid, despite what you're saying and trying to portray with your acting.

Jimin, however, doesn't really know what to think. He's so used to your attention always being on him, that he feels a bit lost now. Do you not like him any longer? And if that's the case, can he himself deal with that?

He doesn't want to choose between Yoongi and you. Why can't he have you both?

[makeitmingi]

Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 60]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 4.5K

[A/N: Longer chapter to end off the series! Thank you everyone who has been patient with me and supporting me through this series.]

You took a deep breath as you stepped out of the airport. Haneul followed close, holding onto the end of your jacket as she yawned tiredly, rubbing her eye. Poor thing was half asleep, following you and trying not to sleep while walking.

*I'm home.* You smiled softly as you pushed the luggage cart through. It was 4 am in Korea so the airport was relatively empty.

"Unnie? I'm sleepy." Haneul whined.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry, let's go home and get some sleep." You chuckled. Just as you were about to get a cab, a van pulled up in front of you. You blinked in confusion until the driver came out.

"Joong?!" You yelped. Hongjoong gave you a sleepy smile as he stepped out, hugging you tightly.

"What are you doing here? It's 4 am. You should be sleeping!" You asked in shock but hugged him back nonethless.

"Ah, I can always sleep later. Of course I would be here to welcome my baby sister home. And even babier... sister?" Hongjoong chuckled, patting Haneul's head.

"Yeah, the princess is sleepy." You giggled. Hongjoong nodded and you both loaded the bags into the back. You made sure Haneul was comfortably seated in the back with the seatbelt on. Hongjoong even reclined the seat slightly for her to sleep. Then he opened the door for you to enter the passenger seat.

"I think this is the first time I've seen you drive." You chuckled.

"Really? I guess I don't have much opportunities to drive at all. Honestly, I'm surprised the manager hyungs let me take the van." He said, starting the engine.

"Well, I'm grateful you came nonetheless." You said as he pulled away from the sidewalk and drove to where your apartment was.

This new apartment was arranged close to the HYBE building, put together, prepared and arranged by the Big Hit team for your return to Korea.

The 2 year overseas stint was done and with investigations over, you could safely return with Haneul. Turns out, it was KQ CEO's own personal assistant that sent you those threats.

She caught you and Mingi once and was jealous. She thought she could get close to the boys, being the CEO's personal assistant, and possibly form a relationship with one of them. But it didn't work. She hated that you got close with them so quickly.

Once investigations were concluded, she was taken to jail. There was news article about it. But the details of the case was not made public.

"How was the flight?" Hongjoong asked, breaking your train of thought.

"Stuffy and long. It feels good to be out of there, I can finally stretch my legs properly and the air isn't so stale anymore. Plus, it feels good to be home." You let out a long exhale.

"Yeah, those kidns of flights always feel too long. Are all your stuff in the new place already?" He continued.

"Hmmm, not yet. Most of our stuff are but I had some last minute stuff to pack. They'll get shipped over in due time. But I think I have enough to unpack and keep me busy for a bit." You sighed.

"We'll help in any way that we can since we're on vacation." He told you. Ateez had finished touring and completed yet another successful comeback season. Now, they were on their well deserved vacation time.

"Alright, here we are." Hongjoong pulled up into the carpark. You turned around to see Haneul fast asleep.

"If you can help me put her on my back, I'll piggy back her up to the apartment." Hongjoong said, noticing your concern before you could even voice it.

"Really? She's not exactly a little kid anymore." You asked with uncertainty, you didn't want him injuring his back somehow.

"If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have offered. Come." Hongjoong got out. You opened the door and unbuckled Haneul's seat belt. You carefully moved her onto Hongjoong's awaiting back.

"There we go." He stood up, making sure the support her bottom.

"Let's bring her up before coming to get the bags. You shouldn't be carrying all of them on your own." He said.

"Alright. I'll just take my small bag." You took your cabin bag. You tapped the access card on the lift panel to go up and put in the password on the door lock. Big Hit assured you that this apartment compelx had the best security, which was your main concern. You held the door open for Hongjoong to enter.

"This way?" He asked. You nodded, showing him Haneul's own room. Luckily, you had made sure that she had a bed upon arrival. You removed the vinyl covering and Hongjoong placed her down.

"Let's bring the bags up." You said to him. The both of you brought up all the bags in one trip.

"Just hold on a second. Let me get Haneul settled." You rushed back to Haneul's room to remove her jacket and shoes.

"Thanks again, Joong."

"Stop thanking me." Hongjoong laughed. You looked around the house, some furniture was set up as per your request. The moving boxes were neatly piled in a corner.

"I need to order some groceries to the house. Hopefully they will get here by morning." You rubbed your forehead while scrolling on your phone.

"Or we can go get some stuff in the morning." Hongjoong suggested, settling beside you on the couch. You let out a contemplative hum. You sighed and leaned against his shoulder, his hand coming up to pat your head.

"Wooyoung and Jongho would kill me when they wake up, knowing I came to pick you and Haneul without them." He chuckled.

"Ooh yeah, can't help you out of that one." You winced. Hongjoong pulled away to shoot you a glare.

"What? You know it's true. Wooyoung loves me and Haneul has Jongho wrapped around her little finger, the moment they are together, they're inseparable." You shrugged.

"I don't want to die. My vacation just started." Hongjoong groaned.

"You are more than welcome to crash here for the rest of the night." You patted his thigh.

"I may just take you up on that offer since I don't want to drive back. But what about you? Please don't tell me you're going to pull an all nighter and unpack." He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going to shower first then unpack the necessities at least. It is going to take a while for Haneul and I to get over the time difference. Might as well use the time to be productive somehow." You stood up, going to your luggage to get the small soaps that you had packed with you. Hongjoong let out a defeated sigh.

"When do you start work?" Hongjoong asked with a yawn, turning to lay across the couch now that you were not sitting there.

"Two weeks? Need time to settle the moving stuff, Haneul's school and get over jetlag." You rubbed your eye as you sat in front of your luggage to get sleepwear out.

"Alright, I'm going to shower." You announced as you stood up. Hongjoong nodded and waved you off.

"Indi?" He called out. You turned around, blinking.

"Welcome home." He gave you a sleepy smile. You couldn't help the soft smile that formed.

"Feels good to be home, Joong. And call me (y/n)." You said softly and went into the bathroom. You were grateful Hongjoong was the first person you saw when you stepped off the plane.

Seeing Hongjoong made you feel more calm and collected, just having him around was comforting enough. Mingi didn't know you were coming home today though, you wanted to keep it a secret and surprise him later on.

When you came out, Hongjoong was fast asleep, snoring softly. You took the blanket you had in your suitcase and covered him with it.

"Now, let's unpack." You sighed softly, sitting in front of the luggages and boxes with the necessities you and Haneul would need before you could get to the other stuff.

"Luckily there's no dust." You noted, putting Haneul's clothes in her closet. You went over to her sleeping form.

"I love you." You kissed her head and slept beside her instead of your own bed.

By the time you woke up, you heard Haneul speaking to someone outside. It wasn't just Hongjoong's voice though. You poked your head out to see Haneul on Jongho's lap.

"You just can't resist her, can you?" You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. Jongho shrugged, focusing back on Haneul.

"Wooyoung hyung went to get food for all of us. Hongjoong hyung drove him. You can go back to sleep if you want, I got it covered here." Jongho informed, gesturing to Haneul busy drawing with him at the table. You nodded and yawned, waving to the two before collapsing back onto the bed.

"Indigo... Wake up..." You didn't feel like you slept long before Wooyoung was laying in bed with you, wrapping his arms around you to snuggle.

"Hi, Woo." You opened your eyes.

"Welcome home. I missed you." He smiled softly, holding your face to give you a big smooch on your cheek.

"I missed you too. All of you." You chuckled, draping your arms and legs over him just like he was your own bolster. You let out a tired sigh, eyes closing again.

"As much as I would love to cuddle, I told Hongjoong hyung I would get you up to get some food in you." Wooyoung chuckled.

"Alright, let's not get in trouble with Joong. Oh and Woo? Call me (y/n)." You pushed yourself up and got out of bed to wash up, leaving a stunned Wooyoung there. You heard him yell in the room.

"Unnie!" Haneul grinned from her spot on the couch. She jumped down and ran over to hug you.

"Hey, baby." You leaned down to hug her, patting her butt and kissing her head. She held your hand, following you to the bathroom. She stood at the door, waiting for you to brush your teeth, wash your hair and do your skincare.

"Are you tired, baby? It'll be a while for us to adjust back to Korean time." You chuckled, combing her hair after you combed her own. She shook her head.

"I'm not sleepy."

"Alright, alright." You patted her head. You knew she wasn't tired now but she will definitely feel it later.

"Let's go eat!" She pulled you along to the living room where the boys were sitting at the dining table already, with disposable cutlery since you haven't unpacked any kitchen stuff.

"Sorry for the mess of the house. And the lack of kitchen utensils." You apologised.

"You just came back this morning, it's completely understandable. No need to apologise." Jongho chuckled, pulling the chair out for Haneul to sit next to you. Wooyoung slid an iced coffee over to you. You took a sip and let out a blissful sigh of gratefulness. The coffee machine also wasn't set up yet.

"I got you some basic groceries. Not sure what you use specifically but we got the princess some yoghurt, milk, eggs, your iced coffee, etc." Wooyoung informed.

"You guys are life savers. Let me know how much it costs and I'll wire you back." You said, taking a portion of food for Haneul.

"No need. Take it as a welcome back gift. And don't argue with me." Wooyoung shook his head.

"What's your plan after this?" Hongjoong asked.

"I'm gonna see Mingi's mom. Then surprise Mings at the dorm." You replied, chewing your food. You leaned over to help Haneul wipe the sauce off her lip.

"Sleepover?!" Haneul's eyes brightened, looking over at you. You couldn't help but laugh at how excited she looked.

"We'll see." You said. You didn't want the boys, especially Jongho, to think that you were always leaving Haneul with them. At some point, you didn't want Haneul to think that you were never around too. So you would have to consider it.

When you were done, the boys helped you with clearing up. You were feeling a little stressed, knowing you still had to do the unpacking of the house.

"Why are you frowning?" Hongjoong came up behind you, massaging your shoulders as you were washing your hands in the kitchen sink.

"Moving is always stressful. Knowing how much more there is to be done is worrying." You sighed.

"I know me telling you not to stress won't really help. But seriously, count on us to help you with all this. You and Haneul can stay with any of us if you'd like." He comforted.

"Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without any of you." You leaned against the counter.

"Suffer." Hongjoong teased, making you jab him in the ribs.

After a bit, you got yourself and Haneul ready before the boys dropped you off at Mingi's mother's apartment. You chewed on your bottom lip as you stood at the lip. You didn't know how much she knew about what happened. She would know that you and Mingi separated right?

"Unnie, are you okay?" Haneul looked up at you. She wanted to buy Mingi's mother a 'present' too so you prepared a little fruit basket for her to give. She was a lot more excited than you.

"I'm fine, baby. Don't worry." You smiled and pressed the lift to go up. The lady might yell at you and kick you out of her house.

She had every right to.

"We're here." You said, stopping before the door. Haneul put the basket down, tip toeing to press the doorbell. You gulped as you heard the door lock beep.

"Hello?" Mrs Song opened the door. She seemed to pause when you saw her. The first thing you did was bow deeply.

"Omonim, I-" She cut you off, pulling you into hug. You blinked in confusion, not really expecting her to hug you. Haneul giggled beside you.

"Let's talk inside." She pulled away, smiling at you softly. You nodded and let Haneul in. She removed her shoes before holding out the fruits basket out to Mingi's mother with the biggest grin ever. Mrs Song cooed and bent down.

"My name is Haneul." She introduced.

"Thank you, Haneulie. This is really sweet of you. I'm Mingi oppa's omma. You can call me omonim too." She received the basket and gave Haneul a hug.

"So this is the famous (y/n)." A deep male voice said. Your eyes widened as you saw an older man sitting on the couch.

"Mr Song, it's nice to meet you. I'm (y/n)." You bowed to Mingi's father. He was tall as well, features similar to Mingi's. He chuckled and stood up, moving to stand in front of you.

"It's nice to finally meet you too, (y/n). I can see why my son has fallen head over heels for you."

"Jagiya! Don't embarrass our son." Mrs Song hit her husband's shoulder.

"Just call me abonim, no need for Mr Song. It's too formal. We're family here." He shook his head. You nodded and bowed your head. You waved Haneul over to introduce herself to Mingi's father. She bowed formally before introducing herself. Just like everyone else, you could see the way he melted when Haneul spoke.

"(y/n)." Mrs Song called you over as Haneul was distracted by Mr Song. You went over to the kitchen. Seeing that it was finally the two of you, you finally did what you wanted to do.

"I'm so sorry for everything I, omonim. I don't deserve-"

"Stop." She cut you off. You squeezed your eyes, awaiting the lecture that was coming.

"(y/n)..." She called and you straightened up. You could see how she softened and reached out to hug you tightly. You wrapped your arms around her.

"It's not been easy, hasn't it?" She whispered.

"No... It has not..." Your bottom lip quivered as tears threatened to fall again. At that point, you knew that she knew what really happened.

"I hurt him so bad, omonim. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." You shook your head. She rubbed your back.

"(y/n), you went through a lot. I know you didn't intentionally hurt him. I don't blame you, abonim doesn't blame you. You went through a lot on your own and you had to be strong for Haneul. You didn't deserve to go through that." She pulled away, staring at you.

"You did it because you wanted to keep Mingi safe. You wanted to keep Haneul and Ateez safe. I understand." She rubbed your arm. You nodded your head.

"I'm just glad you and Mingi worked it out." Grabbing a tissue, she wiped your tears.

"I don't deserve his forgiveness, or any of yours."

"Let's not talk about who doesn't deserve what. Because Mingi would say he doesn't deserve such a selfless person like yourself. Every couple goes through hardships." She smiled softly.

"I'm glad Mingi didn't let you get away. I knew that you weren't the type to just break his heart and leave." She said.

"Thank you for everything." You hugged her again.

"Nothing to thank me for. Now, I have two daughters to care for." She giggled, looking over at how Haneul was now seated on Mingi's father's lap, animatedly telling him something. He had a fatherly smile on his face as he listened to her intently. You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you.

"So have you gone to see my pabo son yet?" Mrs Song asked as she moved to cut up the fruit that Haneul gave her.

"Hmm, not yet. He doesn't even know I'm back. I'm planning to surprise him later on at the dorm but I wanted to drop by here first. It's been too long." You said, leaning back against the counter.

"How was it? Living in America."

"It was interesting, I learnt a lot there in terms of work. Culture is different too. But nothing beats being at home." You shrugged.

"Oh yes, I forgot Mingi told me that you signed to a big company. But of course, home is still the best. Home is where your family is." She chuckled. You nodded in agreement.

"Alright, you two. Let's have some fruit." Mrs Song brought the cut fruit out to Mr Song and Haneul.

"Abonim." Haneul beamed and held out the pick with an pear slice at the end. Mr Song chuckled and leaned down to take a bite, patting Haneul's head. You grabbed an apple slice and handed it to Mrs Song, who was seated on the couch beside her husband.

"Is this what it's like having daughters?" Mr Song asked, staring at Haneul and you fondly.

"Right? I said the same thing when I first met (y/n)." Mrs Song giggled. You laughed, knowing Mingi and his brother would not be amused at their parents fawning over having daughters.

"I think I like having two daughters." Mr Song tapped his chin.

"Better not let your sons hear you say that." Mrs Song slapped his arm lightly.

"Please like you don't tell Mingi that you like (y/n) more." He rolled his eyes. The way they joked and interacted, you hoped that you could be like that with Mingi one day.

When the fruit was finished and you spent some time with Mingi's parents, you got ready to leave to Mingi, Seonghwa and San's shared dorm. You didn't want to go too late, especially with Mingi already having texted you a few times while you were at his parents' place. Haneul hugged the two.

"See you next time!" She giggled, hugging them tightly.

"Yes, you are welcome any time. Good girl. Be good to your unnie." Mrs Song chuckled, hugging her. She nodded her head and went to hug Mingi's father.

"Come back soon, alright?" He kissed her head and hugged her tightly. You melted, glad they got along well with her.

"Bring her back to me soon. And yourself too, (y/n)." Mr Song said, hugging you.

"I will, abonim. Thank you for having us and entertaining Haneul. Please take care." You chuckled. Then you moved on to Mingi's mother, who hugged you extra tight.

"Don't stay away for too long." She told you.

"I won't. Take care." You bid them goodbye with a final bow before leaving. With Haneul by your side, you called for a cab to take the two of you over to the dorm. During the drive, Haneul fell asleep. Poor thing, she was probably fighting the sleep for a long time.

When the cab pulled up to the dorm, you sent San and Seonghwa a message to let them know you were downstairs. You had to wake Haneul up.

"No..." She whined.

"I'm sorry, baby. You can sleep soon." You apologised, really feeling bad. You should have properly let her adjust to the time difference instead of drag her out with you the entire day.

"Hey." You greeted San and Seonghwa. Seonghwa hugged you while San helped a sleepy Haneul to his room.

"I missed you." Seonghwa hugged you tightly.

"I missed you too, Hwa." You relaxed in his arms, smiling. When San came back out after helping you settle Haneul into his bed, you hugged him too.

"Good to have you back, Indigo." He chuckled, stroking your head. You hummed in agreement. Seonghwa went to the kitchen to get you a drink. You received the glass of juice and took a sip, sitting on the couch with them for a while. San had informed you that Mingi was napping so he didn't come out to greet you.

"I shouldn't have dragged Haneul out. Poor girl, she's probably exhausted." You sighed.

"She'll adjust soon. Don't worry too much. She can sleep in my bed for as long as she needs." San smiled kindly.

"Thank you." You smiled. The way all the boys were just always ready to help you and Haneul melted your heart. They really treated you both like family.

"As much as I would like to catch up with you, this is the perfect time to surprise Mingi." Seonghwa said.

"Right. I hope he's still asleep." You put the glass down and stood up. San and Seonghwa watched in amusement.

"Good luck." San wished. You pressed your ear against Mingi's door to hear if he was awake. There was no sound of movement or Mingi's voice, which meant that he was still asleep.

You took a deep breath, it had been so long since you've seen Mingi physically that your heart was pounding. You slowly turned the door knob and crept in. Mingi was still sleeping, tucked under the blanket with his back to you. Getting in bed behind him, you hugged him.

"Ugh, San?" Mingi croaked out with a groan. San was known to go to the other members' rooms to cuddle so he must have assumed you were him.

"What time is it? Go back to your own bed and let me sleep..." He clicked his tongue.

"Fine. If that's what you want, I'll go." You chuckled. You felt Mingi's body freeze in your hold. His head whipped around and his eyes widening as he looked at your face.

"BABY?!" He sat up and looked at you as if he was dreaming, rubbing his eyes.

"What are you doing here?!" He asked.

"Surprising you." You laughed at his expression. Mingi's hands immediately came to cup your cheeks, pulling you to him so he could press his lips to yours.

"Wait, when did you come back? I'm confused, you didn't mention this to me at all when we texted or called. I'm not actually dreaming, am I?" He pulled you to his chest to hug you.

"You just kissed me and you're physically hugging me now, pabo. How can you still think you're dreaming? And I already said that it's a surprise, that's why I didn't tell you. I came back early this morning, Joong came to pick me up at the airport." You laughed. Mingi scratched his head, letting all this sink in.

"How long are you back for, baby?" He asked, fingers coming to weave through your hair as he held your cheek.

"Forever. I'm staying forever, Mings." You softened.

"Y-You are?" His voice shook, as if he couldn't believe what you were saying right now. You nodded with a hum, wrapping your arms around him as you sat in his lap.

"I missed you so much. Now I have you with me forever." He looked at you, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Yes, no more distance." You said softly.

"If you two are done with your reunion, could you come out, please?" Someone knocked on the bedroom door. You and Mingi looked at each other in confusion. You went to open the door.

"Welcome home, Indigo!" All the Ateez boys were there with Seonghwa holding a cake.

"Shhh, Haneul is sleeping." San reminded and Jongho nodded, looking at everyone threateningly. They wouldn't dare be loud now.

"Guys..." You softened, not expecting them to be the one to surprise you. You soon felt Mingi's presence behind you, he put his hands on your shoulders.

"Thank you for welcoming me home. It feels good to be back with all of you. And please, we're family, aren't we? Family calls me (y/n)." You looked at all of them. They all stared at you with soft smiles at the mention of your real name. You went over to greet Yeosang and Yunho with hugs since you haven't seen them.

"Good to have you back, (y/n)." Yunho whispered. You nodded and patted his back. With everything that happened, you're glad you and Yunho could come to an understanding and work things out.

"You've lost weight. Have you not been eating well?" Yeosang chided as he lifted you up.

"I have been, I promise!" You laughed, slapping his shoulder.

"Now that she's back, we'll make sure she's really eating well. We ordered a lot food to celebrate! So eat up." Hongjoong said. You giggled and nodded, about to follow behind the boys to where the food was.

"Mings?" You blinked when you felt him hold your wrist to stop you. You turned back to him, only for him to tug you to him, until you fell against his chest.

"Welcome home, baby. You're finally home where you belong." Mingi whispered. You melted, looking up at him before you hugged him back, your ear pressed to his chest to hear his heartbeat.

"I love you, Mings." You said.

"I love you too, my muse. I'm never letting you go again." He kissed the top of your head, holding you just a little tighter.

You couldn't agree more. Home was here, with Hanuel, Mr and Mrs Song, Ateez and Mingi. These people were your family, people you knew you could rely on and count on. And you wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

~

Series Masterlist

[not-quite-normal]

could you take us through what a day of work typically looks like as an animator? and also how many hours a day you spend at work?

sure!

as an animator at sony imageworks, your day is fairly simple. most days are just work days, and you can listen in to rounds even if you don't have anything to show yet. it's helpful to listen to the kinds of notes that other people are given because it helps you to learn the show style and how to handle different characters for future shots. if you're starting fresh on a new shot, assigned to you by your lead (you can sometimes request shots, depending on what's available and who your lead is), the first thing i do is look at it in the context of the sequence. from there i'll gather or shoot any reference as needed, or maybe sketch thumbnails. depending on the shot, i'll just show the reference to get feedback on that, or rough in some basic poses as a "layout plus" pass to get a more specific kickoff on what my lead/supervisor/director thinks the shot needs to be

there are a few levels of feedback that your shot goes through:

your lead: the anim crew gets separated into teams, each one led by a lead animator. this is your go-to person for most things. they'll be the one to help you with questions, making sure your shot is presentable, small polish, show style, and a whole bunch of other stuff

the head of character animation/supervisor: when your lead gives you the ok to show your shot in rounds, this is where you show the hoca. they're the one in charge of the overall look and feel of the animation and has to keep the whole movie and director notes in mind when critiquing your shot

the director: the hoca will then look at all the shots submitted for director review/shots shown in rounds/shots due for the week and decide whether or not to show them to the director, who will then give more notes. his job is to make sure the shot is doing the best it can to tell the story that it needs to tell, often changing the acting, camera angles, timing, action, or anything else lol

executives: this level is more removed from the day to day of the animator and we usually don't need to worry about this one. but sometimes we get executive notes (usually these come after the shot is approved so it needs to be kicked back to anim)

once your shot gets approved by the director, then it needs hoca approval (for any last big picture notes, or in case the director approved with notes), and then finally lead approval (for small finishing polish work) before you can publish. on spiderverse, we also had a second animation supervisor that had to approve shots too as a design pass. this might seem like a lot, but once you go through the process a couple of times, you get used to it!

the life of a lead is a lot more hectic haha. there are a lot more meetings, you always have to be available when an animator on your team asks for your eyes on their shot or if they have a question, you have to listen in to your team's turn in rounds/director review, scheduling shot due dates with your coordinator, bidding sequences, and... lots of other management and technical stuff. it's hard, but being a lead was some of the most rewarding work that i've done, i'm super proud of the animators that i've been lucky enough to work with

our official work day is 9-6 (one hour off for lunch, we get a food delivery voucher if any meeting goes into lunchtime lol), and we get paid OT after working for 8 hours. for most of the time working on a movie, you need to get special approval to work longer than 8 hours a day, but as a movie starts getting into crunch mode, OT becomes "pre-approved" and animators are free to work as much or as little OT as they want

[aoharushiyo]

the recipes for... | track 1 — chocolate pudding

Translation: en Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly

Content Warning: light jokes about death

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

---

"Come the hell on, if I don't get there soon, it might all be gone…!"

I was held back after school for ages by the teachers today. Some lecture about my behaviour in class or something. Stuff like my attitude being all over the place, or reading manga under my desk in class… But why today, of all days? Of course, I just had to run my mouth and say that I'd listen any other day, please let me off just for today… but that just ended up adding oil to the fire and I got held back even longer.

[ Next Restock TBA ] "…"

I flew into the anime shop I frequented and stopped in front of the display case for newly stocked merch. I hadn't been able to pre-order, so all the merch I wanted had all already been snagged.

"Seriously… I wish this would stop happening…"

And it's just my luck that I don't have any friends I can ask to buy merch for me.

"'Restock TBA'…? The very concept of this should fuck right off."

Student life may as well be slavery. Sure, pointing and laughing at the working class and calling them corporate slaves has been a thing since ages ago, but isn't being a student pretty much the same thing? At these places called 'schools', you're physically limited to what you can do, you're forced into doing club activities after school, and even once you get home, you've gotta do homework or chores… All that takes up a shit ton of time. Adults always overestimate the amount of free time we kids have.

"Fuck…!"

Despite all of that, somehow I'm making do with the little free time I have. Attending events, making shrines, exchanging official and blind box merch, buying out merch stocks[1], nui outings, birthday pilgrimages…

"Aah… my life has no meaning anymore… Just end me already…"

I just couldn't take it any longer. I stumbled out of the store, and, after sparing only a glance to make sure no one was around, started hitting my head against the wall, over and over. Over, and over, and over. I failed. I'm a failure. I'm sorry, Reito, I'm so sorry that I couldn't bring you home.

The theme for the acrylic standee set this time around was 'Training Camp - First Year, Winter ~Wedding Cake~'. A set that dressed every single character in exquisite bridal attire. Not being able to get something like that on the day of its release is absolutely unforgivable. I might as well just die.

The way back was freezing cold. The weather sucked ass, too.

---

Today, I decided to go home instead of returning to the dorms. Here, I can do whatever I want without anyone getting in my way.

"…Yeah, I guess it'll do."

My feelings of frustration needed some kind of outlet. All of the love I was so ready to shower on my new standee had to go somewhere, too — so I eagerly channelled it into something else.

"Aren't you looking pretty good now?"

I held up my apron, extremely pleased with the crooked rows of can badges and pins that covered its entirety. Naturally, the apron was in Reito's image colour. And right over the chest, where my new merch should have been, shone in its place a new, extra-large aluminium standee.[2] That's right. In this patisserie kitchen, we don't have ita-bags — we have ita-aprons, obviously.

"I've gotta finish this before Reito's birthday…"

I guess you could say it's like a way of measuring love. If this weight is the weight of my love, then even if it's heavy because of how many things I've slowly added to it, I can't get enough. I just can't get enough of the insanity of wearing it. Merch of Reito is in ridiculously high demand, so it's really not great for my wallet, but… I'm fine with that. Because only then does it feel like I'm giving up even my soul for Reito.

"Now then…"

Finally satisfied with my sparkling, gleaming rows of badges, I moved onto the next part of my daily routine — checking socials. After all, numerous new fanworks are being created every day.

"Searching for… 'PatiBattle!'…" With great enthusiasm, I searched for every single keyword that I could think of. 'Patissier Battle', 'Chiyoda Reito', 'ReiOu', 'Rei0u', 'ChocoPudding'…[3]

"Damn, this person's art is so good… wait— wait, they drew this!? This is insane! Fuck, oh fuck… I can't take it, it's so radiant that I can't even look at it properly…!"

This must be what it means to be happy. Being able to see the masterpieces being born every day is happiness. While happily wading through my feed, I spent hours lost in the online world.

"…Ah."

There it was: Reito/Shouta. And… blocked. It's like I never saw it in the first place. It really was a shame that they didn't understand the better dynamic. But staying in your own lane makes the world go 'round, so never having to see it again was good enough.

And finally, after checking everything else, I'd left the best for last:

"Sanseiu-sensei…!"

Sanseiu-sensei, the god of ReiOu. Even if they hadn't uploaded anything new, I could spend hours rereading all of their older works.

"What's wrong? Could it be… is that embarrassment I see?" "H-hey! I still can't believe it… What would someone like you see in me…?" "If you keep saying things like that, I'll just go ahead and eat you up." "Mmph…!?" "…Delicious." "R-Reito-kun!" "Aren't you so sweet? Maybe… even sweeter than chocolate."

"Aaah, it's still this good every time I read this!? Even though I've read it before? This flavour never gets old no matter how many times I reread it! Seriously! What the fuck! I'm gonna go insane!"

After rolling around on my bed, I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it while writhing in glee. How was I supposed to remain sane after reading that!?

"It's so cute! It's so cute that I'm gonna die! Killing me directly would be less painful, Sanseiu-sensei!"

Throwing my emotions into this much disarray… that was the power of the great Sanseiu-sensei. I'd heard that they tabled at a large convention a few months ago, but…

"I wanna meet them and thank them…!"

I wanted to go so badly, but…

"…I can't deal with crowds…"

---

[1] 無限回収 mugen kaishuu refers to the act of buying the same merch over and over without caring about the cost. If you've ever seen one of those huge birthday shrines with a million of the same pins? That's the energy.

[2] アルミ arumi basically is a shortened form of ‘aluminium’. This could refer to a can badge, but it could also be an aluminium standee, which is a cutout of an artwork from an aluminium can. Since Ushio is saying that instead of the acrylic standee, he got an arumi, and also that he mentioned can badges earlier, I've gone with this option.

[3] 礼王 is Ushio's OTP, Reito/Ouji. He'll explain this later! After this, he searches for 礼玉. Note that 玉 looks like 王; it's pretty common to use something to censor part of the name so that it doesn't appear in searches. I've replaced the O with a 0 to replicate the same effect since it wouldn't make much sense to literally transcribe it. 'ChocoPudding' is another version of their ship name (which he will also explain later).

---

masterlist | next →

[ask-commander-arild]

OOC Post:

Hi, there! I'm @jnix-2006 and welcome to my ask blog, ask-commander-arild!! I made this blog for @pkmoth's @motherbound-askapalooza, and I plan on participating the entire month of August, but if it does well, I may continue it!! But, bear with me, because I don't use tumblr much, so this is all very new to me, haha. Before we start, I feel I should give a little bit of introduction to what exactly this is. So, firstly, what exactly is an Arild? Well, Arild is an OC I created for the game Mother 3 (Heavy spoilers btw)! He can be seen below!

Art done by @pinkalliums!!! Go check them out!!

Say hello to Arild Eskildsen! A young Norwegian lad of 15 years old who, through a series of unfortunate events, was once a pigmask. I know his design may look a little... 2015, but the design quite literally came to me in a dream, and I would've been stupid not to use it. Now, as much as I'd love to go into detail about his backstory, I wanna save most of it for the asks. I guess the most basic gist is that he was taken from our time, currently in the 2010's but may change later, from a very young age, and made to be a pigmask. Yippee, child soldier! He goes on to be promoted to captain. But after yet another unfortunate event, he ends up being chimera-ified and he gets promoted to commander, but not of the pigmasks... Of what, you ask? Well, we'll get there. For now, here's him as a captain!

Art also by @pinkalliums!! Seriously, go check them out! >:)

Few things to keep in mind for this blog:

1. I don't have many artistic abilities, unfortunately, so this will be a text only blog. Some friends have kindly made a few pieces for Arild, and I will show them off, but for the most part, there won't be much in the way of visuals. If you feel like making art of him, feel free! I would actually love to see it!!

2. Quite a lot of the stuff here is going to involve my own headcanons for the Mother series, especially post-game Mother 3. For example, in my headcanon, Claus survives and becomes the leader of the army, rebranding it in the name of peace, and that is why Arild is a commander. Basically, since everyone has unique headcanons for the series, you can just consider this an AU.

3. There will be mention of a couple real life places that will have Mother-ified names. With any mention of Norway, the name will changed to Fjordland, on account of its many... fjords. Canada is also an important place within the story, and that I have decided to call Mapleland. Creative, I know. I figured I would bring it up to avoid confusion

4. Feel free to ask whatever! Though, obviously, just make sure it's on topic, of course. Silly questions are easy to answer and will usually be answered quickest! Lore relevant questions are a little trickier and may take me just a bit longer to respond to, but I will be happy to get to them!! Also, RP is okay with me, if you want to!!

5. When it comes to asking questions, please don't be weird or anything. Like... being a former pigmask, Arild is a plus-sized character, so a comment about his weight would not be great. More importantly, absolutely NO NSFW. This character is a minor, and that stuff is not okay to ask. I don't think any of this will be an issue, but it's good to mention just in case

6. I do not speak Norwegian, so if I want to sprinkle it in a little bit, I have only on option. Google Translate. I know, I know... it's not the best, but I will try my best to avoid mistranslations or misuse of phrases. I wouldn't want to be the new version of that one post about the Norwegian Butter Crisis, haha.

If you're still here, thank you for reading until the end!! As said, I've never done something like this before, so this intro is probably super chaotic in comparison to other blogs, haha. I am really excited to get started here! I've always wanted to do an ask blog, and I really needed an excuse to flesh out my OC, so I'd say this is perfect! I'd like to give thanks to all the friends, and my bf, who helped me out on this!! Thank you to Moth for setting this event up! Thank you to Hal and a few others for the art! And also thank you so much to my friend Red who helped me create this character in the first place! He didn't tell me what his tumblr was, but he is @/Doc_Glowstick on Twitter!! Alright, I think I've rambled enough now. I'll probably go through this and change it later, but for now, let the blog begin!!!

[angelresource]

charlie's angels (2000) & charlie's angels: full throttle (2003)

i figured we could have a little breakfast. and then, maybe, after...

we're past keeping secrets at this point.

which wire? the red one or the blue one?

isn't it amazing how much information you can learn off the internet?

when do i get to meet this [name]?

who wants a man who's intimidated by a strong woman?

are you okay?

could we get started this millennium?

isn't that poisonous?

i'm new. i'm like a virgin. i mean, it's my first time... here at [place].

why do they always run?

imagine how dangerous this would be in the wrong hands.

you like fast cars?

thanks for the ride.

what's going on?

did you ever have parents? i mean— i know you have parents, but i mean—

that was smooth.

want to play scrabble?

i wanted to see you.

you look great.

i've been thinking a lot about you and me and, well, us.

i hope you like to dance.

we must keep our relationship professional.

i'm having so much fun! this is so exciting!

was that over the top? it felt over the top.

who sent you?

you bitch.

oh my god! you're hit!

i haven't been honest with you.

don't stand next to the window, it's not safe.

i don't think it's gonna work out, you and me.

you had no idea that this was going to happen?

you got it all figured out. any other questions?

they say in death, all life's questions are answered.

you are the cheapest man on the planet.

i had a long talk with a squirrel once. longer than i've talked to most humans.

this feels like the first day of the last of my life. or the last day of the first of my life, or something.

revenge is fun.

thank god you're alive.

i'd like to see more of you, maybe in a continuous block.

watch your back!

you know, under different circumstances... we'd have made a great couple.

can you keep a secret?

is this a bad time?

you seem a little distracted.

what is an angel doing so far from heaven?

i'm no angel.

i'm [name]. i'll be your rescuer today.

i didn't think you'd find me.

let's go to plan b.

the most expensive thing i own are these boots.

i thought we were on a time-out.

was there a lot of blood?

wow. i've heard so many stories about you.

you always fall for the bad guy.

you didn't think it would be the [number] of us forever, did you?

so where do you see this going?

you did the right thing.

hey, i know the safest place in town.

you don't know me anymore.

i'm the only one here who knows you.

here's all your stuff back.

i'll never forgive myself if anything happens to you.

where do we go from here, [name]?

don't you have a case to solve?

i tried to outrun my past, but it caught up with me yesterday.

your past is what makes you who you are.

you know, i never really got that partner thing.

why be an angel when i can play god?

you couldn't make it one day on your own, could you?

very impressive, really. you've got it all figured out.

your destiny is yet to be written.

taking the lives of innocent people is not the answer.

there must be something in you that's still good.

i was never good. i was great.

mind if i cut in?

you want to know who i am? then you look inside your own heart.

i'm nothing like you.

i have something you'll never have.

go to hell.

[inastarlesssky]

Hey, so this might be a bit random, but I rewatched the first Fantastic Beasts movie recently and I completely forgot how much I loved it at the time. Then I discovered your blog and I was so happy to see that people still talked about the movies and newtina especially. I just think they had so much potential that wasn't really used in the movies and I that kind of inspired me to write a fic about them (I am a sucker for the 'character who breaks the law for the greater good'x'character who is the law' dynamic, you know, with tina investigating what newt was doing in ny). But I feel I am not as deep in the fandom as you are and I am kind of looking for inspiration atm so I have some questions which would help me to get a few starting points and if you could answer some of them I'd be very grateful <3 (if you don't want to, just ignore this, haha).

What is it you like the most about Newt?

What is it you like the most about Tina?

What do you like about their relationship? What makes it so special?

Who fell first? Who fell harder?

How do you think each of them will grow in their relationship? How will Newt change? How will Tina change?

Any first kiss headcanons?

Why do you think Tina is an auror? Is this the right occupation for her?

Why do you think Newt is a magizoologist? (I think it's pretty obvious that this is what is destined to do, so no follow-up question here)

And in general, would you like the idea of a newtina fic where it's basically the plot of Fantastic Beasts 1, but broken down to "Beasts escape Newts case and Tina investigates him but eventually learns that the rules she works for might not be the fairest and also is in conflict between her work ethic and slowly falling in love with Newt"?

Wow, hi! This is random but I completely love it, and thank you for dropping by! I'm so sorry it took me a while to answer this, but I wanted to think well on it and give a good, thought out answer. So here it is.

First of all, I'm so happy that you love them, too! I got into them because I watched the movies, and I can't stop now...they're just lovely and a nice break from the other dark enemies-to-lovers pairings I like, so it's sweet.

Secondly, I am new to this fandom, too, actually. If you're looking for people who've been in it longer and might know more about (for sure they know more about it than I do XD) I might point you in the direction of anyone I'm following or have reblogged. I get my stuff from them, so. C:

I completely agree! There was so much potential and I would have loved to see that story unfold...well, at least we know they got married in the end. Okay, like I said, I don't know so much about the fandom but I'll help how I can. Putting the answers under the cut because whoops, I wrote an essay hi.

What do I like most about Newt?

I like how gentle he is, and innocent. He didn't want to pick a side when it came to it, because as Dumbly says, Newt always just wants to do what's right. I loved seeing how he cared for his creatures, the attentiveness (and the idea that if that's how he treats his creatures, how's he gonna be with the woman he loves? Aka Tina) (Also I'm convinced that as much as he may have wanted to get the international travel ban lifted because he wanted to travel...despite that, I still think it's to a certain degree because he wanted to see her, to talk to her. If not that, look at his decision after Dumbly asked him to help. He initially refuses because he knows they'll lock him up in Azkaban if he breaks the rule, but as soon as he finds out that Tina is Paris, he drops everything and goes. (I'm no expect, but I'd accept this.)

What do I like most about Tina?

She seems very determined and brave. I love how no-nonsense she is! Like she literally just drags Newt halfway across New York because she's taking him into custody. I'm sorry, I don't know her or Newt so much because I still have yet to read the fic recs people have given me...that's my research haha.

What do you like about their relationship?

I love how she is the brave, maybe a little headstrong, confident who knows her ideals and will pursue what's right. and yet Newt's the awkward gremlin boy who's a little scared of her at first but then in love and basically ready to drop everything because of her. (This could be a completely wrong interpretation of them, I'm new to this fandom, as I've said before) But that's the idea I got. (Because I hc that yes, Newt actually wanted to get the international traveling ban lifted BECAUSE lol he wants to travel but wait, there's more. He also wanted to give Tina that copy of his book. I mean, sorry, look, the man in one moment flat out refused Dumbledore bc he'd get thrown in Azkaban if he broke his travel ban....but look, when he finds out that Tina is in Paris, you can't stop him.

How do you think each of them will grow in their relationship? How will Newt change? How will Tina change?

I can see Tina as softening towards creatures and to the idea that the world might be more wonderful than she imagines it to be. Like I see Newt as innocent and optimistic, and I feel like he'd be one to show her to smile more. As for him, I just love the idea of Tina helping him figure out practical things. How to go about looking for a lost Niffler without tearing New York apart in a way that makes the headlines; like she'd teach him to stop, think, plan things out. Maybe, that's a very loose guess of mine.

Any first kiss headcanons?

A first kiss? Not yet, haven't thought one yet, but! I believe it might have been @themysteriousphoenix or @keepmeinmind-01 who wrote this headcanon where Newt was talking to Jacob. Newt's in love, and he tells Jacob that he bowed to Tina bc apparently bowing is how a hippogriff (or some other magical creatures I can't remember) shows its respect for someone or something like that. Anyway, Jacob's like "Uhh okay, why is this good?" Newt's just really excited and tells him, "She bowed back." It's ridiculously cute, and I love it.

Okay, the last two questions about why Tina is an auror and Newt a Magizoologist, I left out because I'm not entirely sure haha and I think I'd need a little more thought, but yes, here is my ridiculously over complicated answer that took 5,000,001 years to write.

Also, yes, dear anon, I would love to read a story like that. If you ever get started on it or are writing it, please hit me up with the link! I'm always looking for more Newtina fics to read.

[silksongeveryday]

I just want to quickly say please don't push yourself to try to fulfill every request !! we all really appreciate what you do and the fact that you're even taking requests to begin with is really cool of u !!! and if ur ever feeling overwhelmed don't hesitate to close requests, those ppl who are pressuring you to get to their request can just deal with it :T and thank you again for providing us coping fans with art to fuel us every day, ur awesome

First off, I want to thank you for being super understanding and appreciative of what I do! The fact that so many of you here have been supporting this blog so much has been a big highlight in my life recently. :)

That being said, I’d like to explain a few things now that we’re on the topic if you don’t mind!

About requests:

There are a few reasons that I usually keep my requests open that I think I would like to explain. One of these reasons is that sometimes I can’t always come up with very good ideas on my own all the time. Taking requests from everyone here in this community can help me draw ideas I would have never thought of and for that I’m grateful. Another is that I personally feel like taking requests builds a sense of community and gives me a chance to connect with all of you. I’ll be honest, I’ve been in quite a few fandoms and some of them were quite toxic. So to see that a majority of my experience here has been very nice has been refreshing in a way.

Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that I should feel obligated to do requests all the time. It’s just that I find them more fun than my ideas most of the time so that’s why there’s more of those than stuff that I’ve come up with.

The main rule that I’ve set for myself is that if I don’t like the request, I simply delete it. If someone repeatedly pushes for their request to be done I just simply ignore it or block that person if it’s too much. This is so I can keep this a comfortable experience for both myself and everyone else who follows this blog. Thankfully this doesn’t happen very often. This actually only happens with like a couple people which is why I haven’t really said anything much about it until now. It hasn’t really bothered me to be honest.

I also do close requests from time to time just to slow the flow down. This is so it doesn’t get too overwhelming since I do have a lot of requests that come in. As of posting this, there are like, 30+ requests that I haven’t done yet? But it’s not a big deal to me personally. I have a whole day to complete a 5 minute doodle so I’m sure I can take that tiny bit of time out of the day to do something so simple. That does mean waiting for your request might take longer, but I’ve already kinda talked about that haha.

Being overwhelmed:

Speaking of being overwhelmed,

Also I should clarify that I’m not really that overwhelmed by requests as you might think. I’ve had my fair share of overwhelming moments with similar scenarios like this and this is nothing compared to those. I knew what I was potentially getting into when starting this account so I knew what to prepare for ahead of time if it ever got to this point. I guess bad past experiences really can benefit you sometimes.

Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not overwhelmed at times! There will be a few moments that running this blog feels a little bit overwhelming but those moments are very brief. And in most cases those moments are usually worrying if people will like my doodle for that day or not. Or if I forgot to post that day lol. But generally speaking it’s nothing too worrying. I consider myself fairly good at keeping a level-headed attitude about this.

I’ve also had a few people both here on tumblr and other platforms say that they think I’m gonna burn out from doing this. Whether they mean this because Silksong hasn’t had any news for so long or because they’ve had no experience with a daily account, I’d like to assure you that burnout has a very low chance of happening for me. I’m intentionally putting semi-low effort into my doodles to avoid putting too much energy to this. Otherwise I’m absolutely sure I would have burned out weeks ago. If anything, I’m fully prepared to be posting to this blog for as long as a year assuming nothing happens along the way to prevent that. (*cough* like Silksong *cough* *cough*) If everything stays as is, then I’ll be here for a while.

-

Overall I’d just like to say that I’m under no pressure at all and all of this is just in good fun.

I think I mostly said everything I wanted to, but I hope I made myself clear about all this. If I missed anything I’ll probably talk about it on my main blog, @miizori.

And anon, you are a great person for being so considerate about this! You guys are just as awesome! My biggest takeaway from doing this is that I’ve had a good experience overall and it’s been really fun to interact with the community. I’ve also been enjoying watching my gradual improvement drawing my favorite characters too. If anything, it’s refreshing.

Most all of thanks for reading this! I look forward to posting more doodles to help everyone (myself included) with coping lol

- miizo :)

[betweenlands]

feel free to ignore/delete this ask for any reason, but i need to ask someone because i can't tell if i'm imagining things or not, and i know you've sort of talked about things like this before, but has there been a large jump in... not always active arophobia, but in the amatonormativity in mcyt fandom spaces lately? it feels like things go untagged, there's a larger focus on romance and love, and the active aphobia that there is just goes quietly unmentioned by the majority, and all of these more than before. this isn't me trying to say shipping's bad or anything, i don't have a problem with it, just that this fandom has felt so alienating lately for some reason and i can't figure out whether it's because something's changed in the fandom itself or not

i think this is genuinely a really interesting topic to talk about so i'm giving this a kinda longer response!

(tl;dr -- it's not just you and things have changed, but it's also not what you might think; this is how most non-mcyt fandoms are)

so! to start with, more than ever i think the amatonormativity thing depends on the specific sub-fandom you're in. qsmp's a huge outlier; by virtue of having canon relationships it brings itself more in line with the average fandom in terms of how much people talk about ships (being in a non-mcyt fandom or two helps for perspective on this. i s2g half the tag for murder drones is just ship wars. nonstop ship wars. please stop i want to discuss lore).

with qsmp being such a genuinely interesting outlier (it's something the english mcyt fandom hasn't seen in a while in terms of a series with explicitly canon relationships being mainstream) i think that causes a lot of people to really want to post about these relationships, because like... people feel strongly about being able to express this aspect of their interests in a way they weren't able to before, i think? we've never personally been interested in shipping stuff (with like maybe 5 exceptions ever across all fandoms we've ever been in) but the attitude towards shipping used to be so INCREDIBLY hostile that i think people take their ability to post ship stuff very personally.

i'm not sure about other series, though -- this is where things get weird, because we're not really in mainstream mcyt fandom right now. we don't follow a lot of hermitshippers, but most of them generally tag their stuff? on reblogs it's a bit more sloppy but i also think a lot of people tend to just put "i post [server]shipping content" in their bios as like a blanket reminder and leave it at that

all that said, i don't think it's intentional amatonormativity, or even remotely malicious. i do think we're seeing a lot more ship content than usual/it's a little more difficult to find platonic stuff than it used to be in general mcyt fandom -- this VERY much varies based on series, though. we currently main dominion/adjacent and there's not shit for ship stuff there (to be fair, there's also not a lot of fandom in general, it's Mad Small), whereas with something like trafficseries there's a lot of focus placed on shipping partly because that series is Heavily About character dynamics.

am i tired of seeing ship content as like the main product of fandom? oh, absolutely, but that's nothing new -- that's been the case since before we had this blog, before we were even in mcyt fandom at all. fandoms are just Like This, which can absolutely be exhausting if you're not here for ship content, but this sort of thing is not uncommon for any more mainstream fandoms.

so, yes, it's not just you, there's more amatonormativity in mcyt fandom than there used to be -- because it's starting to act more and more like most fandoms, and therefore is reflecting the amatonormativity most fandoms have, whereas before there was such a hostile attitude towards shipping that this absolutely Could Not be the case.

it sucks in some ways, but at the same time it's very important to note: this is not a new problem. this is an old problem. this is a problem as old as fandom itself, and mcyt fandom is only just getting to a place where people have stopped tearing each other's throats out long enough to act like most other fandoms do.

anyway shoutout to jaidenanimations. aroace icon👍

[sofiiel]

There & Back Again : xreader addition (fem/afab)

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍: 9.4k words: (CW: some angst. mostly fluff. mentions of being lifted general corny/cliche themes.)

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"Rick!" Eddie's voice called as he entered the cabin near the lake in the woods.

He held a grin on his face with his metal lunch box in tow.

"I got your half," He said.

Rick gave him a smile, "Eddie, my boy! Can always count on you!" He called cheerily.

Taking a long drag from a blunt, Rick coughed lightly and held it out to Eddie.

"Um, no, man, I'm good for now." Eddie laughed, setting his box down on the coffee table and taking a seat in the armchair.

Eddie pulled money out of the box.

"Whoa, you sold your little ass off, junior!" Rick called with a grin, taking a seat on the sofa.

"The Hideout is good for business. Anyway, I've completely sold out, so I need a full restock." Eddie boasted.

"Yeah, I got you. Got some good stuff came all the way from California," said Rick, reaching under his sofa pulling out a case, and starting to open it.

Eddie eyed him carefully, "ah..." he hummed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I was wondering if you could kick me a bit more stock than usual?" Eddie asked carefully.

"Oh, wanna work overtime, do ya? What for? It's a risk on me, you know, if I let too much circulate around town." Rick said.

"I know, I know. I'd be careful it's just um. The Band and I kind of have a trip planned and -"

"No, nope. No way, this isn't just about your boys." Rick pushed, with a sly smile. 

Angel stirred in the guest room, hearing Rick and Eddie's voices, he quietly got out of bed and tipped to the door. Cracking it open slightly with one eye, he looked about, his eyes falling on Eddie, who started to fiddle with the ends of his hair.

"There's um, a new friend of mine, we got an extra ticket, and she's going to tag along," Eddie said.

"She's never been out of Hawkins before, not even one town over. There's so much she hasn't seen. It's her first real concert and I-"

Rick leaned back on the sofa, "you want to blow her away and paint the town red." He said.

Eddie gave a half-shrug, "yeah, you can say that. I want her to remember it." Eddie spoke in a low, shy tone and couldn't hold Rick's gaze any longer.

"I want her to think back and possibly tell her kids and grandkids about it, that time she snuck off to Pittsburgh with Eddie the Freak to see Motörhead for her very first concert." Eddie rambled.

"Jesus" Rick sang, setting down his blunt.

"How long have you known this girl?" He asked. 

"I dunno...about…a couple of weeks I guess," Eddie said.

Rick chuckled, "she must be one hell of a girl, junior, you're sprung like a bear trap." He laughed.

Eddie slumped over and ruffled his fingers through his hair, "I'm well aware, thank you." he sang in annoyance.

Angel's eyes narrowed as he remained quiet.

Eddie smiled to himself, "she likes the band, she saw us play the other night and called us amazing." he said.

"Don't gush at me kid, Here I'll double your usual stock," Rick said in false irritation.

A grin eased its way across Eddie's face, he tilted his head to one side and his eyes twinkled gratefully.

"Thanks man, see I told you, you're a great big softy." Eddie teased Rick.

"I'm no softy, I'm just a sucker for young love." Rick grumbled, taking back up his blunt and taking a long drag.

"That would be called a softy," Angel spoke dryly, stepping out of the room and coming up the short hall.

"Hello, runt." Angel called to Eddie, an icy, mocking smile faintly present on his lips.

"You feel you have to haul her all the way out of town to keep her out of my way?" Angel teased.

Eddie's smile vanished in an instant and was replaced with a frown.

"Hardly Pete." Eddie answered, voice void of emotion to match the dryness of his gaze.

"You know what they say. I have a kiss of death, Munson. No girl looks back." Angel smirked with pride, his eyes falling on the chain around Eddie's neck.

"I see you've kept it, you know what I want in return." Angel hummed. 

"She's a person dipshit, I can't just hand her over. That's her call." Eddie snapped.

"I agree with you on that one." Angel said, taking a step forward and smiling coyly.

"And what was her first impression?" he asked.

Eddie's gaze on Angel wavered slightly, "she called you a pretty boy." Eddie grumbled.

Angel rested a hand on his chest as if moved, "how sweet of my little fairy." He hummed. 

Eddie's eye twitched at Angel's words, "your little Fairy?" Eddie grumbled, looking up at Angel.

"Guys, hey! This is a zone of zero drama! Read the sign! Giant smilie face!" Rick shouted, pointing his finger toward the wall.

"A chill-only zone," he stated.

The two boys locked into a stare-down again, and the smug, snide smile on Angel's face was making Eddie's skin crawl.

"Sorry about that, Rick." Angel murmured, leaning against the wall.

"But for the record, I think ____ and I shared something rather electrifying between us." he said quietly. 

"I can feel a bond in the works, so whisk her away while you can. She's bound for me." Angel sang, pushing off the wall as he strolled past the living room and into the kitchen.

Eddie sat quietly, looking down at his hands.

"Don't worry, the boy is just full of himself." Rick sighed.

Eddie shook his head, "no, he's right. He's hard to compete with on a bad day." Eddie said with a nod.

"But I'm not known for quitting," he said, tossing a halfhearted smile at Rick.

Rick sighed and started to fill Eddie's box with new stock.

"Just try to keep me out of it. I don't play favorites, regardless of who my goddaughter chose." Rick muttered.

"Ok so... You were just listening to the band and all of a sudden you felt weird, glowy and things started to break?" Amy asked, sitting across from you in the sheet fort in the Creel basement.

You nodded slowly, "yes, but I'm not so sure that it was so much the Band as a whole. It fell in line with the guitars specifically." you recalled.

"And then all the lights busted?" Amy asked.

You nodded again, "A thick bolt of lightning struck outside the building, and then when Angel kissed me, it felt like a small shock, like static."

"It was probably from the lightning." you reasoned.

Amy studied you carefully and was worryingly quiet.

"What?" you asked with caution.

"You also said it felt like this Angel guy took the weird feeling from you?" she asked.

"It left me after the kiss. If it was because of him, I'm not sure, but he also knew taking me outside would make me feel better," you explained.

"He wasn't wrong?" Amy asked.

"No, but it could have just been that talking with Eddie made me relax and not think about what happened," you murmured.

"How long before you go on this trip?" Amy sighed, rubbing her temples.

"A handful of days." you answered.

"Well then go, I'm going to keep hunting, I'll go back to the lab and snoop around The Hideout. Maybe try and find Angel." Amy sighed.

"You shouldn't be doing all this alone," you cautioned.

Amy smiled faintly at the concern on your face.

"I'm better on my own. Fewer people to worry about. Besides, I have an ace up my sleeve should I need help." Amy said.

You looked off to the side, "we've got to find someplace better than this for you." she sighed, looking around the basement.

"It's quiet, and nobody comes around. I like it here." Amy said, kicking back on her pile of pillows.

You turned to her with an unsatisfied gaze, Amy gave a roll of her eyes.

"Anyway, come on, less talk about our possibly strange circumstances and tell me. How was the kiss other than the weird?" asked Amy.

"Angel has cold lips, for them to be so rosey." you confessed.

"Ugh, cold lips are like fish lips." Amy grimaced.

You touched your lip and could feel your heart race again, it was easy to remember what Eddie's face looked like from so close.

"Well, it obviously wasn't too awful." Amy teased.

"Huh?" you asked.

"You're clearly thinking about it, reliving it...you look like a you're doing everything you can not a smile." Amy laughed.

That smile came through timidly, "not Angel's." you whispered.

Amy sat forward, "someone else kissed you?" she asked wide-eyed.

Your smile grew, "Rughead?" asked Amy.

You gave a vigorous nod of your head.

"Holy shit, that's bold." Amy laughed.

"Not really, He was trying to remove Angel's cooties." you sighed.

"Cooties? That's a lame excuse." Amy laughed.

You sighed, "I'm glad for that excuse. It was nice." you murmured softly, fiddling with your fingers.

"Go on and gush. I'm used to it, my sister was boy crazy." Amy said, gesturing for you to continue.

"It's just," you gave a shrug, "no man ever really treated me as softly as Eddie does. I'm afraid I'm just mixing signals. I've never dated, and I've never had guy friends. It's just...the older men my dad needs me to blackmail and bribe." you confessed.

"And they are all, rough and...hungry. A kiss feels like being smothered by a pillow, and they touch you like you're not human." your voice became small as you hugged yourself. 

Amy sighed, "I wouldn't know about mixed signals, but....you should see the way he looks at you."

"Anyway, it's summer. Summer has its own sort of magic. You're going out of town with him-"

"And Jeff, Gareth and Scott." you added.

Amy rolled her eyes, "details," she scoffed.

"He's kissed you, he takes any chance he can get to be close to you." Amy reasoned.

"And your point is?" you asked.

Amy raised her brows, "you may get a date out of this." she said.

"Or a boyfriend." Amy added.

You shook your head and went to climb out of the fort.

"You're thinking way too much into this, Amy." You sighed.

"I could be, but my family, we're born matchmakers," Amy said, walking you to the window and giving you a boost out.

"You need something like this. Someone who can show you what things could be like, it might get you to fight for yourself." Amy spoke with genuine words as she peered up at you, who lingered knelt on the ground outside the window.

"I'll see you tomorrow sometime Amy, please be careful with your hunt for information," you said before getting up and going back to your car.

The following day, you exited Chrissy's house.

"Are you sure you can't stay for lunch?" Chrissy called, walking you to your car.

"I'm sorry, today's my first day for my babysitting gig and I don't want to be late." you said.

"Considering it's the test run before the real job within a few days." she added.

"No, I completely get it! Well, good luck." Chrissy said, she waved goodbye to you and headed back inside her house.

With a light frown on her face, Chrissy exhaled. It was nice to have someone else around besides her mother. Her mother didn't lay so many hurtful comments on her when she had company around.

You stopped just shy of getting into your car and watched Chrissy's back as she lingered at the doorway.

"Um hey!" you called out.

"Yes?" Chrissy answered quickly.

You gave a wry smile, "They loved the dress you helped me pick. Maybe you can help me out again. I'm going on a short trip soon, and I could use some fashion pointers." you said.

Chrissy's face lit up with a bright smile. "Of course!" she said happily. 

"I start packing in a few days," you called out.

"Just call me up then," Chrissy said, waving one more time before walking through her door.

You gave a satisfied nod, "I don't need too much help, it's only two days, and I'll probably wear one outfit, but..."

You couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness that came from Chrissy. 

"And then I unpacked the box to find my old board from 4th grade had been broken in two. I know it was Billy, but mom won't tell Neil until I have proof." Max ranted from the passenger seat of your car.

You kept your eyes on the road as you listened.

"Why'd he break your board? I thought you said it was one of your favorites?" you asked her.

"He hates me and he's mean. Billy doesn't need reasons to be a jerk, it's how he is all the time." Max complained.

"Sounds like my brother. Some guys turn into assholes when they hit puberty." you sighed.

You turned to offer Max a smile, "but that doesn't mean they really hate you."

Max shook her head, "well, Billy does. I bet your brother doesn't break anything of yours." Max shot.

You sighed, "they can break things that aren't objects. Like feelings."

Max looked up at Myrtle with a hint of pity.

"So you do have a jerk brother," she murmured.

You gave a strained smile, you didn't, not truly. Patrick had very viable reasons for his mood switch the past year or so. Unfortunately, those reasons were not something you could explain to anyone - let alone this preteen girl.

"Hey, look, let's stop talking about stupid brothers. They're clearly ruining everything," you changed the subject.

"You like to board, right? Hawkins doesn't exactly have a skate park but, I can show you where the kids go." you offered.

"Really! Awesome. Because I've been looking, and the only place close was some parking lot full of potheads." Max said.

You giggled, "Yeah, no, you have to go to the older parts of town. But be sure not to go alone, there aren't many people around, which can be a bad thing." you warned.

"I'll ask you then," Max said, turning her eyes to the road.

"I don't have any friends yet." she sighed.

"Mom's busy, Neil's is always busy and Billy is just - no." Max added.

"That's ok with me, maybe I'll learn how to board myself." You hummed.

"You?" Max laughed.

"I could, I do ballet, so I have pretty good balance, can't be any worse than ice skating." You reasoned.

"You ice skate?" Max asked with a grin.

You smirked, the look of impression Max gave you reminded you of when Patrick was little and every little thing made you 'the coolest' big sister.

"I do, for about seven years now," you said.

"Can you do any cool tricks?" Max asked as if a challenge.

You laughed quietly. "One or two."

You sat on the rubble of what was left of the old community pool. Watching Max skate her heart out in the small emptied pool.

The girl had a grin on her face a mile long and seemed to be having the time of her life.

"That one is called an Ollie!" Max called to you.

"Is that safe?" you called with concern.

Max laughed and shrugged, "As safe as skateboarding I guess." she called back.

You shook Your head, "at least she's having fun." you thought, looking up at the sky.

The sun was starting to set. "Fifteen more minutes ok Max!" you called.

Having taken Max home, you headed home yourself. Coming through the front door, you nearly dumped into your father.

"Sorry." you said quickly as he glared down at you.

You searched his face, asking, "something happened?"

"Something came up at the plant." He said pushing past you.

You blinked a few times and stared at the front door as it closed. 

"Was it just me or did dad seem....fearful." you thought, recalling the look in his eyes.

You bit her lip, "maybe Amy was on to something." you sighed, heading for the stairs.

"At least it's all giving me time off from my usual role." you thought.

After a shower and changing into pajamas, you sat on your bed drying your hair, which had turned into a wild mess as the cold water washed away any styling.

Picking up your brush, you slowly combed it through small sections. Closing your eyes to gather your thoughts as they traveled back to remember the current events of your life.

"So much is happening." you sighed.

A knock against the window caused your eyes to open.

"No way." you breathed, getting to your feet.

Setting the brush on the dresser, you walked to the window and opened it. Below, was a bright smile that put butterflies in your stomach.

"Hey, mind if I make this a habit?" Eddie called up to you.

He pointed over his shoulder, "I saw your dad leave so..." he hummed.

You shook your head and reached down to grab the rope ladder, tossing it over the window. Eddie wasted little time as he started to climb up.

The closer he got, the faster your heartbeat in your chest. Your eyes locked into his, and the memory of his kiss filled your brain.

You quickly walked away from the window, giving him space to climb inside. Eddie pulled the rope ladder back in and quietly shut the window.

"I ugh...just got back from work and wasn't exactly ready for bed." He said, turning to face you. 

"Work?" you asked, lowering a brow, "you mean your hustle?" you asked.

Eddie laughed, "sounds way cooler when you say it like that." He said.

Looking you up and down, he could see the water still glistening faintlyon your damp skin.

"Sorry, was this bad timing?" Eddie asked, slowly averting his eyes as he dropped the backpack free from his shoulders.

"N-no, I just um," you cleared your throat to fix the weird sound your voice was creating.

"Got out the shower. It's fine really." you said, reaching past him for your brush.

Eddie followed your hand and took up the Brush before you could. He held it up and smiled innocently.

"Mind if I help?" he asked.

You sucked you lips in nervously.

"It's kind of a tangled mess." you muttered, touching your hair.

"To be honest, so is mine half the time." He said, sitting down on your bed.

Eddie gave the place in front of him a pat.

"Come on, I promise I won't make it any worse." He spoke playfully.

Calming the butterflies, you walked over and took a seat. Eddie combed his fingers through your hair to move it toward him and then parted a section to brush.

It sent chills down your back as he brought the brush through your hair.

"Oh, my hair is in far worse shape than this." Eddie laughed.

"Is it?" you asked.

Eddie rested his chin on your shoulder.

"Here" he called taking your hand in his, he placed it on the top of his head. you slowly and carefully worked your fingers through his slight curls.

Eddie's eyes closed, and you could feel the quiet sigh he gave.

"It shouldn't feel that good." Eddie thought to himself.

Your fingers snagged a little, but as if used to it you instinctively worked the knots away with wiggles of your fingers, and eventually, your hand found its way free.

"It's not so bad," you said.

Eddie smiled in contentment.

"I've had worse days." you hummed. 

Lifting his head away, Eddie sat up straight and went back to brushing your hair.

"So, are you excited for the concert?" Eddie asked you.

"A little....just anxious." you answered, looking down at your hands. 

"You aren't afraid, are you?" Eddie asked.

"no...." you peeped. Eddie silently chuckled. 

"It's ok if you are, it's the biggest rebel moment you've ever had, isn't it?" He said.

You quietly sulked.

"You'll be fine, we've got you." Eddie laughed, moving to another section of hair.

You gave a nod, "that's why I'm not too worried, at least not about what's going to happen out there." you said, turning back to look at Eddie you offered a smile.

His heart beat a little harder as his eyes zeroed in on it.

Eddie looked off, and a timid smile wandered onto his face. Your smile dropped into worry.

"But I hope you don't regret my dad's wrath afterward." you sighed, turning back around, and taking the brush from him.

"I'm not afraid of your old man, ____." He huffed, watching you walk to the mirror of your vanity and start braiding your hair.

"You should be, he can be dangerous to a person's future here in Hawkins," you murmured.

Eddie drew his head back and squinted, "Well, it's a good thing I don't plan on being stuck in Hawkins forever, isn't it."

Then holding his head high with the smirk of a young lion he leaned over your shoulder whispering, "And Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens," into your ear.

"Maybe....but have you seen the nightfall?" you asked him back, looking up at him from the corners of your eyes.

Eddie's smile faltered as he spoke quietly, "more of it than you'd think."

The heavy forlorn sound made your heart ache for him.

Eddie was quick to put on another smile and back away, "I'm here now aren't I?" he asked holding out his arms.

"Your old man could walk through at any given minute," Eddie pointed at you.

"But for you, milady. Oh, for you, I will laugh in the face of danger." He said dramatically.

You couldn't fight the smile trying to force its way on your face

"Ha, ha, ha. You're a clown, Eddie Munson." you sighed, setting the brush down.

Eddie smirked, "Your pops wouldn't happen to have a fear of clowns, would he?"

You shook your head.

"Damn." Eddie sighed with a snap of his fingers.

Seeing something crawl in the tank on the dresser, Eddie did a double take.

"Holy shit, you have a spider?" Eddie said rushing over.

Stooping a bit, he peered into the glass, and Shelob peered right back.

"It's huge," He murmured.

You smiled, "that's Shelob." you said, walking to Eddie's side.

He chuckled, "of course it is." before tapping lightly on the glass.

"She likes people...would you? Would you like to hold her?" you asked. 

Eddie stood up quickly and waved his hands, "Oh no, no, no I'm good." he said.

You laughed, "oh come on, don't tell me Metalhead Eddie is afraid of a sweet fluffy spider?" you teased.

Eddie rolled his neck slowly to look at you, and his voice deepened.

"Bite your beautiful tongue, babe." He said with a slight squint of his eyes.

You found it hard to keep your breath.

"Then hold her." you pushed, reaching down into the tank.

Shelob happily scuttled into your palms. Holding Shelob out to Eddie, you smirked.

"She's waiting." you dared him.

Eddie's look of dark confidence faded fast, and his eyes filled with nervousness as he looked down at the fuzzy little creature. Many eyes locked onto him.

"Shelly, this is Eddie... He's our friend." you whispered down to Shelob while Eddie held out his palms.

Laying your fingers over his you created a bridge for Shelob to walk. Eddie stood, afraid to move as the spider made her way into his hands.

She nestled into place and continued to watch him, this caused you to giggle as you watched the two stare at each other. Each waiting for something to happen.

"You're a big girl, Shelob," Eddie murmured, cautiously petting the spider's back.

"She's oddly soft." He said, looking up at you with a smile.

"I know right!" you called happily.

"She's my best and trustiest friend. I don't know what'd I do without her around," you confessed.

Eddie looked down at Shelob, "I'm jealous. You're a lucky spider, Shelly." Eddie whispered and then carefully transferred Shelob back into her tank. 

You sat down on the edge of your bed and Eddie walked to his bag, pulling a walkman out he turned to you and grinned.

"I brought you something to listen to." He said, taking a seat next to you.

"It's um…to prepare you for the concert. It's a mixtape, of Motörhead and some songs by others, so you can get a feel for the music." Eddie stammered.

He looked down at the walkman nervously. He wanted you to like the music that inspired his life. Music held a special position in his life, it was like blood in his veins.

"It's a chunk of me." He thought, and it was a nerve-wracking thought, that you might reject it.

You walked your fingers across his hand holding the walkman and pressed the play button. Leaning his head closer to yours, Eddie stretched the headphones as wide as they could go.

You could scarcely listen as you were keenly aware of your head pressed next to his, though you tried your best.

"What do you think?" he asked.

You closed your eyes and listened, the sound of the drums made your adrenaline flow, and the strings of the guitars recharged your heart, the Vocals tapping into emotions you'd never voice.

"Straight through the Heart. Shout to the wind, How can you hurt me this way" 

They said.

You froze as Eddie's hand took yours, you wished you could see his face as the air around him felt wounded.

You looked down at your entwined hands, speaking in a hushed tone, "um... I like it, who is this?"

You needed to break whatever thoughts he was having, you couldn't stand it.

"Dio." Eddie muttered, his voice seeming far away.

You turned your body slightly and slipped your hands under his arms and hugged him lightly. 

Eddie let out a strangled scoff but welcomed the gentle embrace and the song changed. He rubbed the side of his head against yours like a kitten and returned the hug.

"You don't play fair." He sighed, closing his eyes.

"Yeah? You've got no business thinking you can be sad here." you whispered back.

Eddie smiled faintly.

"You came here for this." you thought to yourself, squeezing him lightly, "I know you did."

Eddie leaned back, causing you both to fall backward onto the bed. 

"Just for a while, can we stay this way?" Eddie whispered, never opening his eyes.

You gazed up at your ceiling, the position you were in was hardly comfortable, bodies half twisted into a hug and heads made to face the sky.

You knew eventually your legs would go to sleep hanging over the edge of the bed. However, you couldn't protest, you didn't want to.

"As long as you need us to," you replied, the music roaring in your ear and coursing through your body. 

You watched the baby spiders crawling about the ceiling in the small hole that'd become their home. Your eyes briefly glanced toward the bedroom door.

"At any moment, someone could walk in." you thought, your arms tightening again around Eddie.

You could hear something quiet inside daring them to try it, and that quiet little something was baring its fangs.

The thought made your pulse quicken. Looking towards the lamp, you grimaced.

"Should have turned it out." you thought, and no sooner had it come to mind, the room fell into darkness.

"Oh." you whispered, "How'd..."

"Hmm?" Eddie hummed sleepily.

"Oh, n-nothing." you stammered.

"It's just the faulty lights," you told yourself.

You awoke to find your head resting on something far firmer than your pillow. Subtly rocked by a gentle rise and fall. Your eyes fluttered open, and took in the arms latched around you.

"So much for a little while," Eddie mumbled groggily, his half lidded eyes peering down at you. 

You quickly rolled away, "sorry!" you gasped.

Eddie watched you from where he lay, "don't be." he said simply.

Reaching out Eddie hooked his index finger around your pinky.

You looked down at your hands before rolling one over to show your palm, letting Eddie draw aimlessly across your skin; youtwo continued to sit in silence.

"I should probably go before everyone wakes up." Eddie sighed, slowly sitting up.

You covered your mouth to quiet a giggle as you noticed his terrible case of bedhead. You leaned towards him and smoothed out his hair as best you could.

"Not looking like that, it's daylight. People will see you." you laughed.

Eddie smiled softly content in accepting the small moment. 

"There" you announce once done,

Eddie shook his head before flinging it back and forth as he had any time before during a show.

"What are you doing!" you gasped as quietly as you could.

Peering through the wild mop of brown tangles, Eddie glanced up at you. With his head held low, Eddie flashed an impish smile.

"Oops, looks like you'll need to fix it again," he sang.

You pushed him lightly, "nope, you'll have to leave just like that." you said, to which Eddie pouted.

"That's not fair, Eddie." you murmured, narrowing your eyes.

"What's not fair?" He asked, making his lip tremble, you winced as you tried to ignore the sad puppy look in his eyes, turning your head away from him.

However, Eddie moved back into your field of view, getting down on the floor he leaned against the bed to stay within your sight.

"Stop it, you brought it on yourself." you shot.

Eddie smiled briefly, "so did you." he said quickly, falling into his pout again. 

You groaned in defeat, "fine."

Eddie climbed back onto the bed and held his head down towards you with a grin, feeling like putty as your hands fussed with his hair.

He kept his gaze in your eyes, and your couldn't dare to look away. Eddie felt his heart fluttering, sucked into your pupils and under the spell of your touch.

A knock came to your door.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." Eddie whispered, sliding off the bed like an eel out of the water and rolling under the bed.

You sat stunned for a moment at the scene, choking back a laugh.

"My parents don't usually knock." you thought, getting off the bed, you quickly kicked Eddie's bag under it as the door opened. 

Standing there was your brother.

"Pat?" You questioned as he glared at you.

"You were at Chrissy's house again? I thought I told you to stay out of my life." He raged.

"That's what you're here so early for?" you exhaled.

"I was just teaching her some Ballet. That's all," you added.

"Jason says, Chrissy's excited about her new friend, says she's trying to help you out with fashion advice?" Patrick said eyes squinting.

"I mean.... I can't help, my new friend happens to be your friend's girlfriend." you murmured.

"Yes you can, you ignore her." Patrick hissed.

"You stay away from her." Patrick ranted.

Eddie lay on his stomach under the bed, fists clenched as tight as his jaw, reminding himself to stay hidden. 

You bit your lip, "Alright, if it matters that much to you. I'll tell her... I'll find a reason as to why we can't hang out anymore." you sighed.

Patrick scowled down at you, "Why do people have to get mad at you for you to listen." he growled, leaving the room with a slam of the door.

You looked at the door and covered your face with your hands. You wanted to scream in frustration, but managed to calm yourself, turning around to face the bed.

"It's ok to come out now." you said weakly.

Eddie pulled himself from under the bed, bag in tow.

"Does he always talk to you like that?" Eddie asked, pointing to the door.

You shook your head, "no just recently, it's a phase."

Eddie glared, "Where the fuck does he get off telling you who to be friends with?" He asked, eyes on fire as he raged as quietly as he could. But still, he found his voice steadily rising.

"He wouldn't have a single one himself if he wasn't kissing Jason up the ass crack and spit shinning his shoes with what's left of his pride." Eddie went on.

"Teenage hick town wastoid tras-" you rushed forward and held a finger to Eddie's lips, silencing him. 

He released a slow huff of hot air and nodded.

"Sorry," he muttered, fully realizing he had gotten fairly loud.

You smiled faintly, "I appreciate it."

Eddie looked back at the door, fingers uncurling from his fists. He looked down at you, shaking his head.

"You don't have to take that." He murmured firmly, "You shouldn't take that shit." Eddie said, speaking as if words might shatter you.

"He's just upset." you reasoned.

"He didn't deserve your excuses either," Eddie grumbled, taking his bag he headed for the window, tossing the ladder over himself.

You leaned on the window as you watched Eddie climb down.

Looking up at you one last time, he sighed.

"If he ever pulls some shit like that again, and I'm so much as in earshot." Eddie shook his head, "I'll tell him just where he can stick it." he warned.

"See you later, Eddie." you called, unsure of what else to say.

"Yeah, take care of yourself." Eddie sighed, hopping down the rest of the way, allowing you to pull the ladder back in.

From that morning on, the days passed quickly. The quiet and lack of tasks from your father had you unsettled. Not that you would ask for it, your mind and body were thankful for the break.

However, with him rarely returning home until the small hours of the morning and then gone as soon as the day broke, you started to worry.

No word on the mutant dogs, no word from the cops. An uncanny calm seemed to be looming over Hawkins, as if silently waiting for its moment to sound off. 

You sighed, inward jitters refused to let you stand still.

You stood in the shade, waiting patiently by the Palace arcade, with Amy at your side.

"Relax," Amy said with a tiny smile.

"You need this, and by the time you get back. I bet we have lots more answers who whatever Hawkins seems to want to hide." Amy reasoned.

You looked down at her, "I never would have thought you're so level-headed." you said.

Amy smirked, "I know it's pretty scary, huh?" She laughed.

You pulled your car keys out of your pocket and held them out to Amy.

"Only drive it if you absolutely need to, otherwise. I parked it near the station.  Should you ever need a place to hide." you said. 

Amy took the keys, "bet, thanks." she said.

Looking up, Amy nodded towards a Van that pulled up to the sidewalk.

"They're here for you." she said.

You exhaled and tried to shake your remaining nerves. An overwhelming mixture of excitement, anticipation, uncertainty, and self-doubt. 

"Will you tell Chrissy I'm sorry for not calling to tell her. That I said nevermind?" you asked.

Amy gave a nod before smirking. "Who do you think told me what to do when you had me advise you on what to wear?" Amy laughed.

You looked down at Amy surprised, "the girl knows about troublesome family and your whinny little shit of a brother." Amy hummed, giving you a light push forward, seeing Eddie hop out the back of the Van.

"He's waiting on you," she whispered.

You nodded and started walking to the Van

"You ready?" Eddie asked you, grinning wide as he took your backpack.

"That's seriously all you've got?" Jeff asked, having hopped out to help.

"Um yeah, it's just two days?" you questioned. 

Jeff held out his arm and brought you into a stiff hug, "best girl ever." he said before returning to the van.

"You bring her back in one piece, Rughead, or I'll hunt you down like one of those damn dogs." Amy called out.

Eddie rolled his eyes, "later. Much. Weird girl." Eddie called back dryly.

You waved goodbye to Amy and climbed in the van, Eddie behind you.

"You're gonna love the show, ____." Scott said with a pleased grin from the backseat. 

"The seats are super close too." Gareth said, abandoning the passenger seat, while Eddie lead you by the hand to the front.

"Really?" you asked taking the seat.

"Yeah we aren't right up to the stage, but it's in the standing area." Jeff said, clearly excited about it as well.

Eddie started the van up and pulled away, You waved one last time to Amy.

"Yeah, you'll have to be careful though, stay close, wandering into the center can be hectic." Scott said.

"Why?" you questioned.

"That's uh…where the circle is." Eddie explained.

"Circle?" you asked again.

"It's for moshing, it's where fans go dancing," Gareth said.

Your eyes sparkled, "I like to dance, what's so bad about it?"

"They do so very roughly." Jeff muttered.

"Trust me, for your first concert, if a mosh circle forms you stay close to me and stay off to the sides alright." Eddie warned.

"People sometimes get hurt, it's usually not on purpose, it's just very…contact orient, thrashing about to the music, the harder the music goes the harder the fans go." said Gareth. 

"Oh" you exhaled.

"Then there's always some guy who snuck booze in, got pissy drunk, gets mad that someone bumped him a little too hard, and starts swinging," Eddie said.

"Punching?" you asked wide-eyed.

"It's rare that he doesn't get escorted out or have the crowd push him out instantly." He added.

"You'll be ok, just stick with me, or find the guys. There are ways to get out of the pit if you need to in a hurry." Eddie reassured.

You gave a nod, "don't worry, I'll be as close as a shadow the whole time." you said.

Reaching past you two and up to the stereo, Jeff turned the music up, til it shook the van.

"WHOO!" he called out.

"Road trip baby!" called Gareth.

You laughed at the boy's excitement.

"Pittsburgh, here we come!" You called out.

"That's the spirit, lady Tinúviel." Scott chuckled.

Before long, you could see a signpost up ahead, and the words painted onto its brown surface made your heart beat faster.

"Wait, wait, slow down," you murmured to Eddie, almost drowned out by the three rowdy boys in the back seats.

Eddie pulled the Van to a crawl and turned to you.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

You kept your gaze on the sign and Eddie followed it. 

"Leaving Hawkins." it read.

Eddie smiled, "I knew it." he hummed, leaning in your direction. "You're scared."

"I-I'm not...I just." you sighed heavily,

"If I cross that invisible line up there, It'll be the farthest away from my family. From this place, that I've ever been." you murmured.

"What's this? Cold feet?" Gareth chimed, turning his attention to you both.

Scott laughed and rested a hand on your shoulder.

"Come on guys, be easy on her, it's a big step." Eddie said.

"Of course it is, very dangerous business, isn't it?" Jeff hinted.

Scott gave your shoulder a pat, "You'll step out unto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." Scott said.

You gave a sheepish smile as you turned to Eddie, "You told them?" you asked.

"It's not every day you find a girl who's into nerd shit openly around here, of course, he did." Jeff chuckled. 

"The greatest adventure is what lies ahead!" Scott sang.

Eddie chuckled quietly.

"Today and tomorrow are yet to be said" Gareth jumped in.

"The chances the changes are all yours to make!" Jeff belted dramatically, causing you to laugh. 

"The mold of your life is in your hands to break." Eddie sang, sweeping his hand out towards the Hawkins sign.

The Van lingered on the brake, inches away from the crossing.

You shook your head, "Alright, fine, go." you laughed.

Eddie smirked, pleased with himself and his boys.

"Great job guys!" Eddie called back to them.

"Onward!" Jeff called out.

"We ride!" Gareth hollered as Eddie lay his foot heavily on the gass tearing up the road. 

You desperately griped your seat, "Wait, not so fast! Eddie! My seatbelt!" your cries echoed into the dark early morning with the laughter of the boys.

You stirred, unure when you'd fallen asleep.

"Good, I was bored as sin." Eddie said, eyes glued to the road ahead.

You sat up in the seat and rubbed your eyes.

"I haven't slept that good in years." you yawned, stretching out your arms, an arm going out the window to feel the breeze as the van moved up the open road.

"Actually...that's a lie," you murmured, recalling how peaceful the night in Eddie's arms had felt. 

Eddie glanced at you, "you just needed to get away. Some room to breathe." He said, eyes stuck to the horizon.

"Breathe the fresh air, my friend. No more lung-crushing pressure, Because out here nobody knows you, nobody knows how much you can take, or how much they can take from you. No expectations, no requirements." Eddie lulled as he glanced at you briefly.

"Outside that hellhole, you're unknown for now, you can be anything and anyone you want to be." He said.

You watched him as if entranced.

"I'm the girl who rolls with the leader of the band." you said with a smirk.

Eddie laughed, "That you can be." He said.

"I'll be happy to have you as my little dancer." He chuckled.

You smiled and turned to look at the sky, bright blue with thick white clouds cruising by. 

You exhaled and rested your elbow out the window.

"I'd love to just go and chase the skyline wherever it leads me someday. Walk, ride, sail, fly it wouldn't matter just following it in whichever direction calls me," you confessed quietly.

"New people, cities, places, sounds. Collecting memories." Eddie said, "Touring is the perfect way to see it all." He said to you.

"That's why I hope Corroded Coffin can really go places," Eddie said.

"You guys have a real passion for your music, It shows in the way you play." you stated.

"All of you just get lost somewhere when you play, but you're lost together. I've not seen or heard a band so in tune with each other. Your instruments are like extra appendages, you play them like your vocal cords. They speak for you." you went on.

"You're gonna make me blush at this rate," Eddie said in a bashful laugh, he relaxed against the steering wheel.

"But it's true, and you're still in high school. Can you imagine, in two or so more years, where you'll be?" you asked.

"I know you don't hear yourselves the way the audience does. I wish you could." you said with a smile.

Eddie made a small noise as he held a fist to his mouth, hiding his face in his hair.

"Well, shit." He hummed before laughing.

You looked at him, eyes crinkling into a smile, "oh my god are you blushing?" you asked.

"Shut up, alright, I told you didn't I?" Eddie said, his voice flustered.

"Aw" you sang.

"Stop it." Eddie playfully grumbled.

Reaching out you lightly swept his hair out of the way, and behind it, you spotted the rosiness of his cheeks.

"Oh, you are!" you gasped.

"Shut up, you'll wake the others," Eddie said quietly.

"Too late, I wanna see!" Jeff called, peeking around the driver's seat.

"You look like a strawberry, man." Gareth yawned.

"Nobody asked you, man!" Eddie nearly shouted, the blush only getting worse.

You giggled quietly, slipping slowly into a laughing fit as you held your stomach.

"Oh god, she's gonna turn blue soon," Scott called.

"Seriously, ____, air take it in!" Jeff called out.

You waved a hand as if to say you couldn't as your laughter continued.

Eddie looked at you quickly with a playful leer. With his eyes back on the road, he leaned over as far as he could and planted a kiss on your cheek.

With a gasp, your laughter twisted into a series of coughs.

"Oh my god." you gasped.

Eddie back in his seat held a victorious smirk. "That serves you right." He said.

You glared at him as your cheeks started to warm up and your stomach swirled with a whirl of fluttering.

"Nice" Gareth said sharing a high-five with Eddie.

You continued to leer at Eddie.

"You enjoy it, I-I've got a secret weapon for payback, and you won't know when it's coming." you stammered.

"Oooh payback you hear that Eddie?" Jeff teased.

"I did," Eddie said leaning towards you whispering "and I'm quaking in my boots."

"Be that way." you shot, crossing your arms and turning to face the window.

Eddie chuckled, "alright, alright, we'll lighten up." he said.

"Alright guys, hurry it up, we don't have long before the concert." Eddie called, shepherding the group into a convent store. 

"Stocking up on munchies!" Gareth called, rushing to the snack aisle.

You stood behind Eddie quietly clutching your backpack to your chest.

"I need to change," you said, eying the bathrooms cautiously.

"Well now is your chance," Eddie said, holding his arm out towards the bathrooms.

"Um..." you murmured, "is it ok? I mean....this place looks a little...suspect." you whispered, to which Eddie laughed.

Grabbing your shoulders, he pushed you over to the bathrooms playfully.

"Nothing can happen to you here, alright. There's four of us on guard. The bathroom might be kinda nasty, but that's it." He said.

You glanced over your shoulder at him.

"For real, if someone bothers you, just call. You're fine here." Eddie reasoned.

You gave a nod and went inside.

Only one of the two stalls was in working order, you quickly seized the stall, hanging your backpack from a hook inside the door, and pulled out a fresh shirt.

You looked at the shirt you'd picked up from the printing press the day before.

"I hope it's ok, I'm not exactly an expert on Band shirts...." you thought while slipping it on.

You then pulled on a leather vest Amy had pinched and zipped it up to hide the shirt.

"I hope this surprises them." you thought, taking hold of your backpack and walking out of the stall.

The bathroom lights flickered and your heart dropped.

"No not here too," you thought biting your lip.

The light flickered off and you stood in the darkness, clutching your bag.

"This isn't happening," you whispered, shutting your eyes tightly.

"Please." you hummed.

Opening your eyes and looking around, strange particles floated around you, and vines slithered slowly across the ground.

"Shit." you whimpered, backing away from the door as the vines reached from under it.

You backed up until your back bumped into something strange, it moved along your back like worms but stood solid as a wall. Holding your breath, you turned slowly to face it, eyes locking with a haunting milky blue gaze.

Dead or alive, you couldn't tell what he was, but his gaze kept you frozen, your throat tightening as if being strangled.

The thing's large, spindly hand reached out and lightly held the side of your face.

"She will lead you back." He said.

"T-that voice." you stammered.

"You aren't the boy, but..." you cried out in pain as your head felt as if it would implode as if being filled with air like a balloon.

A sharp shock flew up Eddie's spine as he turned to the Bathrooms, "____?" he questioned, a faint scream lingering in his ears.

Looking around, it seemed as though no one else had heard. Walking with careful steps towards the bathroom, Eddie knocked lightly.

"You ok in there?" He asked.

With no reply, Eddie knocked again, "____ come on you in there?" He asked, but silence lingered.

Eddie looked up at the door and then back at the others before entering.

"Jesus, McKinney!" he exhaled, rushing to you, finding you kneeling on the floor clutching your head, your body trembling faintly. 

At his touch, your eyes flew open, filled with tears as you looked up into Eddie's face.

"Eddie?" you questioned.

Eddie nodded and opened his arms as you fell into them, gripping at his shirt as you hid your face in his shoulder.

"Y-yeah, I'm here...what happened?" Eddie asked quietly.

"I don't know, it- it happened again." you choked.

"My head..." you whispered.

Eddie grimaced as an odd tingling sensation seemed to radiate from your body. 

Rather than pull away, Eddie held you tighter.

"It's ok. you're probably just overwhelmed by everything right now." He reasoned.

You shook your head, you wanted to tell him of the things you saw, of the flickering lights and how the world around you turned into some infected thing. Of the walking corpse.

"He'll think I've lost it." you thought to yourself. 

Eddie knelt there with you, quietly stroking your head until you settled down.

"You know..." you mustered, trying your best to be convincing.

"You're probably right. I-I'm sorry for being such a basketcase." you apologized in a quiet murmur.

"Don't be, it's that cesspool household of yours that did it." Eddie spat, helping you to your feet. 

With his thumb he wiped away the tear under your eye and smiled down at you.

"It'll be nothing but a bad memory once we get you to the show, alright. Just hold on." He said.

You smiled and nodded, letting him lead you out of the bathroom as you stole one last glance behind you, expecting the thing to return.

"Hey, what happened?" Jeff asked, looking between you both with concern.

"Ah, nothing," Eddie spoke carefully.

"Let's just pay for the stuff and go, or will be late." Eddie said, the boys let it go but shared glances with each other following the two of them.

"Aren't you hot with that jacket zipped up that far?" Scott asked you as you all waded up the long line into the concert venue.

"Nope" you hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels, hands on the vest collar. 

Gareth looked between his friends, "anyone else think that 'nope' was kinda ornery?" He asked chuckling.

"Kind of? Totally." Eddie laughed, but he was happy it seemed as though you'd shaken what had happened to you.

"Whatever it was..." He thought.

You let Eddie handle your ticket as you entered in, your hand lightly holding his sleeve as he led the pack down halls and stairs to the floor behind the security escort.

He and the boys seemed very hyped, and you held a large smile as you watched them talk animatedly among each other.

The floor was crowded in the dark room, "stay close," said Eddie speaking into your ear.

You gave a nod and looked curiously around, your eyes eventually wandering off to see the stage. you were close, but there was still a good number of people in front of you.

Lost in the new sights and sounds, you were taken by surprise as the room fell even darker and the stage lights flashed on, smoke covered the stage and the amps sang before the guitars did.

Around you, the boys roared loudly with cheers, as did the rest of the room.  The band welcomed the audience and thanked the city of Pittsburgh before starting to play.

It didn't take long for the crowd to lose it, singing along and moving about.

You giggled as Eddie and Gareth sang the song at each other while hopping around near where Scott and Jeff air-guitared.

You swayed to the music and found yourrself watching them more than the stage. 

Eddie stole a look at you and smiled.

"Like this." He instructed, kneeling in a wide stance, he flung his head back and forth. His hair whipped forward and back along with the music.

You shook your head, "I can't, you look cool, I'll look silly." you called over the music.

Eddie flipped his hair back and grinned at you.

"Oh come on," he said.

Jeff came up next to you and he and Eddie headbanged together. Soon all the boys were doing it.

"Come on ____! You have to!" Scott called.

You shook your head no again, and Eddie sighed.

"Fine, then do as I do." He called out and began to jump up and down to the music, his arms and legs doing whatever came naturally as he bopped his head to the beat.

"Not that bad, right?" He asked.

You hesitantly did the same.

"There you go!" Gareth cheered for you.

"Ok, this isn't too bad." you confessed.

But for all your protesting by the time the third song came around,  you stood at Eddie's side shaking your head about.

"Yeaaah! go!" Jeff cheered.

Eddie laughed from next to you, once more playing his guitar out of air and singing.

The group suddenly felt the crowd pushing towards them.

"Oh... Eddie! Eddie!" Scott called, Eddie stopped his thrashing about and looked around, he pulled you to him as the crowd became slightly aggressive. 

"We aren't near the middle, are we?" Gareth asked, watching as a mosh circle was starting to form.

"I think...we're far enough away." Eddie said.

"Just keep a patch clear for her." He added.

The boys made sure to circle around you.  She watched them keep up well with the crowd and felt safe between them.

All was well until, "wait...wait, where'd they go?" you asked yourself.

You felt that you'd been slowly pushed about, but you never noticed you had been pushed away.

You could see a slight clearing in the middle of the floor and tried your best to keep out of the way of the wildly flailing and jumping fans. 

Your eyes grew wide as one man had a slightly busted lip.

"Ouch, that's unfortunate." you thought.

"Watch the elbow man!" Eddie called, slipping between you and another fan, blocking their elbow with his hand.

"Sorry!" they called.

"All good." Eddie replied.

Turning to you, he gave you a smile.

"How'd you manage to end up here?" he asked you.

"Hell if I know." you said with a shrug.

"Don't worry, let's hitch you a ride to safer ground." He said.

You blinked, asking, "h-hitch a ride?"

Eddie turned to a group next to him, "Hey it's her first concert, mind helping us out?" He asked them loudly, pointing his finger upwards. 

"Yeah man," one of the group called happily.

"Whoa!" you yelped as you found yourself hoisted into the air, mind screaming madly as you could feel hands holding you high.

"Strange hands on my ass! Because that's what I want to relive!" your mind shouted.

Turning your head, you saw the crowd push Eddie into the air as well. He laughed at the expression on your face. 

"Relax, they've got you!" He called as the two of you started moving across a sea of hands.

"It's like being stuck in an ocean!" you called wide-eyed.

"That's why it's called crowd-surfing!" Eddie shouted.

"Relax, together they're strong, you won't sink. Enjoy it!" He added.

Once you relaxed, a large grin came to your face.

"This is kind of fun!" you giggled watching Eddie air guitaring once more gliding across the hands of the audience, and you joined him.

Being lowered back to the ground at the back of the circle, Eddie held out his hands to help you down to your feet. Back on solid ground, you peered up at him with an amazed smile.

"That was a little amazing!" you called to him. 

Eddie took your hand and you both started to hop around to the music again.

It didn't take long for the guys to find you again, once you were surrounded once more you looked between them and unzipped your vest, revealing the shirt.

At first, neither of the guys took notice.

"Wait, wait.....what does that say?!" Gareth nearly shrieked.

"No fucking way!" Scott shouted.

Jeff and Eddie turned to see what the commotion was about.

"Holy shit. Where did you get that?" Jeff asked wide-eyed.

You smiled with pride, "I had it made."

Eddie threw his arm around you and leaned his forehead against the side of your head.

"Looks like we got a number one fan now, gentlemen!" Eddie cheered. 

"I can have more made for -" your words turned into a yell of surprise, Eddie swept you up.

With the help of Jeff and Gareth you found yourself sitting up on Eddie's shoulders.

"Oh, too high!" you screamed.

Eddie held tight to your legs, "I got you." He laughed.

"This girl is fucking amazing!" Eddie shouted to the sky.

It was as if every once of embarrassment, fluster, and emotion gathered up to ache in the apples of your cheeks.

"Sh-shut up!" you warned.

"It's not supposed to backfire!" you shouted down at him.

"what, this was supposed to be payback?" He snickered with a smirk.

"You just put me on cloud nine, what kind of revenge is that?" he asked, swaying with the music as he bopped you around on his shoulders happily.

You sighed in defeat but smiled to yourself.

"I can see the stage better up here." you stated.

"Eat your heart out up there." Eddie said, watching his friends dance about as well as the band perform on stage.

You threw your hands into the air and started to move, throwing metal signs you'd seen the guys use.

Looking up at you, Eddie shook his head, a content smile on his face.

"This isn't actually happening." he thought to himself.

"I'll wake up sleep at home, surely." he thought.

You looked down at him and stuck you tongue out, "am I doing it right?" you teased.

Eddie chuckled, "not even close, but it's perfect." he said.

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[anticonspiracist]

Do you think that there is some mental health issue related to long term belief in conspiracy theories? I understand ct’s being used as a coping mechanism or form of escapism but the constant unbridled belief after years is almost unsettling. I was reading a larries post about how babygate would likely end in 2023 and make way for a fresh start in 2024 and it was so similar to posts i’ve seen since this started in like 2015. It’s hard for me to imagine being proven wrong at every turn and still believing so whole heartedly. I don’t mean this to diagnose anyone either I just wondered what your thoughts were on long-term conspiracy theory belief on the way your mind works/views the world.

I think that it's less that long term belief in conspiracy theories causes a mental health issue of some kind and more that it can be a symptom of a mental health issue. Not always a symptom, but in some cases.

Conspiracy beliefs are a coping mechanism. Coping mechanism for what, exactly? That depends upon the person. There is some evidence to suggest that those with higher levels of dispositional anxiety are more likely to engage in conspiracism than those with lower levels. This doesn't cut against what we would see as "common sense" -- those experiencing more baseline anxiety will need to find ways to mitigate that anxiety, and conspiracism is highly accessible now and answers all the questions that can't be answered in any other way.

I saw a post yesterday or the day before that addresses what you've seen regarding the similarities between 2015 and today --

Anon: Ok.. so.. I’m a 2023 larrie but very strong one, no one or nothing can prove me to believe otherwise.. Anyway, I’m just wondering is this gayos normal in this fandom? I feel like something’s cooking big time.. but I haven’t been here long enough to know if this is normal? I mean both of them are single at the same time and all this other stuff going on. My question is if this is just a normal spring in Larryverse that or is it something “else”?

Larrie response: I’m pretty confident to say probably all of us experienced the feeling something big was about to happen just around the corner when we first joined the fandom, it doesn’t matter when. And I get many messages from new fans having that feeling for years now… so, I don’t think this is a build up for something, I think things just changed. [source/archive]

So I think it's less that we're seeing massive numbers of people continuing in conspiracy beliefs and more that there's a rotating cast who are unwittingly repeating the same mistakes as those who came before them. And this isn't because they're right, obviously, but instead because the structure of a conspiracy is the same regardless of the details. This is what makes the believers so predictable in their behavior.

Now, those who are long-time believers in a conspiracy theory? I'd wager that for the vast majority of them there is something underlying that belief that makes the belief preferable to reality, and the inability to accept that reality (what it says about the world, what it says about them) can damage their mental health. The longer you're in, the more it takes to unwind from it.

[thecreativeforge-a]

I have some new followers recently, so to y'all out there, both new and old: Hey there and Welcome (back)!

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You are not following me back, does that mean you don't want to interact?

No, that's not the case. I usually follow blogs who I've already had interacted with for some time, or blogs I had interest in and followed first. If we've never interacted before, I don't follow back. I also unfollow blogs who I am no longer interacting with to clean up my dash. This blog is semi-selective, but it's not mutual exclusive. We can talk and RP together even if we're not mutuals. Neither you or I have any obligation to follow each other for the sake of being mutuals if either of us don't feel like it. That being said, if we already have some interaction and we wrote a little together and had something good going, I'll likely follow you back. Please pay attention that I do not interact with muns who are under 21 and their age (or age range) is not stated in the blog.

We roleplayed in the past but our thread died/you didn't reply/I didn't reply/etc., do you still want to roleplay?

First and foremost, if we had a thread going and I didn't reply for a while, please do let me know. I might have forgotten, given that I both study and work at the same time and my head isn't always here. That being said, sometimes I do prefer replying to some threads first than others, but I eventually get to everything. You can always send me an IM about picking up an old thread, trying something new, etc. I no longer use a RP thread tracker because I keep forgetting to add or remove threads from there. If you haven't replied for a long time, I'm not going to pester you. I just assume you are very busy, prefer to reply to other threads first or just no longer interested. In either case, there's no judgements or grudges held, and I don't keep anyone here by force.

Everything else should be written in my carrd and rules, which you can find in the pinned post. If you still have any questions, feel free to ask me in the comments or an IM.

Thank you for following and I hope we can make some amazing roleplays together!

[opossumanon]

hey chat I've been having an identity crisis that's been reacquainting me with my old friends, my mental issues, and it's not fun and I'd like to go back to my path to recovery but I don't think that's gonna happen until I sort out said identity crisis so I'm gonna need some help if yall have the time

So historically I've always been a bit of a loner and a weirdo compared to my peers, mostly because of audhd (autism + adhd) but being transgender certainly hasn't helped me either. It started a few months ago when I first got a glimpse of punk culture and what it was like, and after I found a cool jacket at a thrift store I went "Hey what if I put patches and shit on it like punks do that seems neat I'm gonna borrow that idea" and then it progressed to me finding a bunch of music I like, most of it new wave (X-Ray Spex my beloved) and as weird as I am!!

So I've since been doing more research on punk culture and the different groups within punk and I feel like I've found something that I can relate to, but then I'll see stuff like "If punk music isn't the majority of what you listen to then you're not punk" which seems sus to me, and I also see things about drugs and mosh pits and LOUD LOUD concerts, which is a problem for me because

1. I don't do drugs (It's fine if you do idgaf just not my thing), and alcohol is off the table for me because of genetics and a medication I'm on 2. I properly read the definition of mosh pit to make sure I didn't have misconceptions about it and the definition is literally a cramped space right next to the stage where everyone dances erratically and is pressed up against each other. I hate touch, so the idea of being in a pit with dozens to hundreds of other people all pressed up against me sounds like hell 3. I can't do loud stuff for long periods, I get overstimulated which leads to anger which leads to not good.

All of these things mean that concerts and bars/clubs are off the table for me unless I can be accommodated, but I doubt that'll happen because usually the reaction to me being upset about loud noise at events is "Deal with it" and then ignoring me. But there aren't really any places other than bars and clubs and concerts that punk groups (And any other group really) meet up at as far as I'm aware, so I'm basically cut off from any real interactions with people.

I explained this to a friend of mine, and he informed me that I'm simply not punk because "punk is about chaos" and "you're all rigid and need your structures" and yeah, I do have a certain way I like things to be done, but that doesn't mean I'm totally unwilling to let go and do whatever sometimes. Also from everything I've read about punk the only group who sees chaos as the biggest qualification are the nazi punks? All the other punk groups I've looked into seem to agree that it's anger at the establishment for not taking care of the people and deciding to form a community that we can be a part of to take care of each other, which I 100% agree with.

At first I listened to my friend and accepted defeat, but I thought of it for a bit longer and realized that my friend, as much as I utterly adore him, as a tendency to act like his opinions on things are objective fact (Talking about music with him can be frustrating because of this), so I'm not inclined to take his advice on this particular issue.

So my question is based on everything I've shared so far, am I actually punk or am I just trying to shove myself into a group that I don't belong to?

(Btw in case anyone's wondering my beliefs are anti-racism, anti-sexism, anti-antisemitism, anti-homophobia, anti-transphobia, anti-ableism, anti-zionism, and anti-every-other-kind-of-bigotry. And so far from what I've read I have mixed feelings about anarchy but I will admit I could do more reading on it)

[titleknown]

"Some random people told me they don't think video games are necessary. And this is why degrowth should scare everyone!"

Okay. That's still a strawman. But if video games are the issue you care about most, that's fine. Just say that up front next time. So anyway, how exactly does growth make better video games than degrowth? My favorite video game is Zelda Windwaker. A decade of exponential industry growth has not been able to bring me a better game than Windwaker. In order to continue industry GDP growth, it's an endless cycle of expensive DLC and labor abuse. That's the reality.

So, once again, read some JK Steinberger and maybe you'll calm down. Or, if you don't like listening to women, you can read Jason Hickel and calm down that way.

[In reference to this post]

...I feel like I'm being strawmanned here, because it wasn't just about vidjagames, but rather about the ways in which they treat "inefficient" interests, and what that says about the problems with their philosophy.

Like, while videogames can be useful as a metonymy for that, even with devices as broad as desktop computers or art tablets, I have never heard anyone into degrowth say a fucking nice thing about any of the computing devices I use for self-expression.

From everything I've seen, they regard it as the same sort of wasteful toy for the Global North as Hummers or McMansions, even if it's a lifeline or a vital means of creation for some of us. In fact, it feels like they regard any new technology that can't be kitbashed together or that doesn't work with their "hippie aeceticism for all" vision as being Like That.

Like, I've heard them shit on automation, on nuclear power, on asteroid mining, the list goes on. I'm afraid to have any hope in any new technological changes these days because I know they'll come out of the woodwork to say "Oh, this is bad actually and you're a bad person for taking hope in it," because it always happens, in real time on my Tumblr dash!

Like, I don't bring up the person saying that "Any new technology that can't be kitbashed from existing parts would devastate the global south" and "the idea of emerging technologies is a capitalist grift" as a singular gotcha, but because I've heard the sentiments animating that from the degrowth crowd so often that it feels like saying the quiet part out loud.

Like, to cite Giorgios Kallis again, he's said stuff like this

Indeed, I have made a general case for a culture of prudence—a culture that is reflexively inclined toward limit rather than limitlessness. One area where precaution is necessary is technology. We cannot cease to pursue knowledge, but we can no longer pretend that the limitless pursuit of technology is unproblematic. Ours is the first predominantly secular society that will have to devise institutions to limit the directions that knowledge takes without limiting knowledge itself. How we will be able to achieve this is hard to say, but recognizing that we have to is a crucial start.

and

Scaling up limits controls free-riding and absolves individuals from having to be ever vigilant of their conduct. I don’t want to wonder constantly whether I should consume this or that; I want government to tell me what we have agreed not to consume.

Like, that rings alarm bells to me on the idea that the vision of degrowth includes chokepoints on resources to choke out "inefficient" uses in the arts or sciences, the same as under capitalism just with a different underlying worldview justifying it.

That you would be technically free to do whatever you want, but if whatever technological project you wanted required something more complicated than a peanut crusher you'd have to beg and plead for them to let you access it, same as under capitalism.

Like, again, these people who think that the devices I use as a means of expression and communication are decadent toys, what would they say when I need a replacement?

What would the hypothetical organization Kallis says to stop the "bad" pursuit of technology say to the scientist researching a "niche" field for science's sake, or an emerging technology that would enrich human life but would require new infrastructure?

The sort of politically-active class-resentful person who wrote "About Hating Art" and who seems to infest degrowth circles would probably love to shrink any discipline that requires specialized artists (such as say, animation) small enough to drown in a bathtub!

...To digress, the reason I haven't read Steinberger is because I haven't seen specific stuff of theirs cited in a place where I could read it (Or pirate it in the case of Kallis' book).

But I do know about Hickel. And I know he's cited a lot as a "hopeful" face of Degrowth. I also know he's buddy-buddy with Kallis. You know, the very dominant person in Degrowth circles who said all that crazy bullshit, from what I know they've collaborated a lot.

That says to me that either A) Hickel is ignorant of the implications of what Kallis says or B) He knows about them but does not care that Kallis is saying the quiet part out loud. Neither of these are good.

And like... the thing is on games you're not wrong. Like, there's a reason I mainly play indie games or older games these days.

Hell, there's a reason that, as I said in another post, I think that GDP is very stupid! I think that the modern means of growth and its dependence on collapse as a form of "degrowth" is also very bad and stupid!

The old aphorism "Fire is a good servant, but a terrible master" very much applies to growth! But it also applies to degrowth, and so much of what I read appears to show that y'all don't get that!

Like... leftism's promise to me always felt like you don't have to choose between the wellbeing of all and the freedom to create, where everyone could live comfortably and have the time and resources to pursue their passions.

But from everything I've seen Degrowth betrays those by saying you have to choose, and that the "good life" only applies if you want to live a very specific way or can forcibly modify your desires to do so. It all comes off as very "Bread and roses, but fuck you if you like tulips."

I see this especially from Resilience.org, which is where I was first introduced to degrowth, which loves the shit out of the atomized hyperlocal bootleg-Ghibli "transition town" movement, which probably shaped my negative view on it if that helps you understand me better.

And like... I get you're approaching in good faith, and I can understand where you're probably coming from. But like, I wish y'all could understand why so much of what your movement says sounds like that beyond blaming us

[theninthdoor]

✉ some things:

☞ i've decided to go through all of my messages/requests and pick the ones that i think make the most sense for me to answer right now - which will all be posted throughout the next week or so. (fyi, the majority of the "rejected" ones were just too common or out-of-date. also, mind you, i've heard tumblr has been acting up and deleting or doubling asks by itself, so keep that in mind in case your request doesn't get a reply. you can always re-send it later on, if you wish 🤝)

☞ update on our #tqqs! these are my absolute favorite posts and i honestly feel like they have become a staple of the blog. so let's do it like this from now on...

#tqqs are now the norm - which means I'll be focusing most of my time on answering those + my inbox will be open for #tqq requests all week! however, in order for that to be possible, we must set some rules…

› let's keep things interesting!! i love looking into current energies, love life/career/friendship updates, comebacks, concepts, solo activities, companies… i want the real tea, my loves! ideal types and whatnot are all over kpop tarot tumblr 😭 we get dozens of those a day… so let's get creative. › be mindful of the type of question you're asking! some longer ones can pass as #tqqs but some others are just way too lengthy (specially when we're looking into groups with 7+ members).

☞ so… given that, instead of hosting #tqq sprees, i'll instead be hosting extended reading sprees. and by that I mean that only on some specific days will you get to request those full group readings (like these: x, x, x) or the extended individual readings (like these: x, x). whenever I open my inbox for those, i'll let you know beforehand! (my inbox is not yet open for any sort of readings - give me a couple of days and then we'll get started with this new system!)

☞ i'm taking down my private readings post for a little while so i can re-organize everything, add and remove some stuff, update prices and all that. (i'm also thinking of adding some kpop related options, so please let me know if you have any suggestions 💌)

☞ we're getting #tqq masterlists!! (the NCT one is ready to go up ❤️‍🔥)

☞ it'll take me some days to update the blog with the new rules, masterlist and everything, so please bear with me... i just wanted to post this asap bc you guys have waited long enough for signs of life!