#[anon i need you to know that i rewatched like 50 of his videos trying to find what you meant]

[southconfessionpark]

SP shipping is like that one Danny Gonzales clip where he goes up to the kids (himself) and says that they’re the new best couple and they’re like wtf we are 5.

video

[drbased]

Thank you so much for answering ! I was so hesitant about sending that ask because to me it was just an unnecessarily morbid and sad vent, so imagine my surprise when you said it was lovely to receive 😹

I have watched the alt right playbook series when it came out ! I used to be very involved in skeptictube back in the day and everyone recommended it. I'll need to rewatch it ! I was wondering if you had recommandations about the satanic panic specifically, as you mentioned listening to/watching something about it ?

Your paragraph about conspiracy theories is SO on point! I definitely need to translate it and show it to my mother, you worded perfectly what I've been trying to explain to her. Q anon really is a good example of these things because it is exceptionally stupid and extreme.

A few things about the Emmanuel Macron theory :

My father didn't come up with it, he never does. I'm not sure how to say it in english but my father is very influencable, he is very easily convinced by people trying to sell him products (or ideas...). Most of his ideas come from people he follows on twitter and odyssee. As for the theory itself : the idea that Brigitte Macron is actually male is very popular amongst french conspiracy theorists, and I suppose you are not aware, but even without that she is quite the controversial figure. She was the president's teacher in high school and if I remember correctly, when he got his diploma she left her husband for him and they have been together even since. I'm not giving my opinion on this whole debacle because it's above my paycheck lol, but as long as my father has known who this woman is, he has hated her with a burning passion and made it very clear from how he talks about her. Long story short he wants her hanged on the time square 👍. This is all very hypocritical of him considering he never had any moral issues with his sister (my aunt) marrying a man she started dating when she was 12 and he was 28. And never acting up and doing something to help her when he turned out to be abusive. (Shocker I know)

For your answers : I agree with everything apart from the fact that Macron is a right wing politician and my father also wants HIM dead 👍 he wants everybody dead. He used to be anti death penalty and a profound pacifist, but now he cannot dislike things or people normally. Everything becomes extremely violent.

Writing all this has been very cathartic! This situation has been harder and harder to live by the day (I still live with my father after all) and I've been having a bit of a breakdown because of it. It's hard to remain cordial and polite with someone like this everyday, because every activity, every subject of conversation is tainted. It has taken all the joy out of our home life, mine especially. So thank you for hearing me out :) you're really cool

Nice to find another informed and cultured fellow like myself! I'm very glad you're familiar with the alt right playbook. Imo it should be standard 'reading' for any wannabe leftist. My favourite video is the one on 'controlling the conversation' which has entirely shifted how I engage with people online, and is responsible for why you don't see me argue much on here.

Don't worry about being morbid, I'm used to all sorts of things I probably shouldn't burden my fragile mind with. Regardless, I think it's so important that women speak out about our experiences with each other. What I find so fascinating about feminist analysis is that literally every subject you can name will inevitably relate back to some patriarchal ideology/practice - which makes sense because women are 50% of the population and male oppression is so universal that of course it would permeate everything.

Huh, Macron's wikipedia page mentioned associations with the socialist party. And I also figured that it would make sense him being considered left wing, since right wingers are obsessed with emasculated, 'soft' men having left wing politics. However I did originally intend to put 'left wing' in air quotes because I'm aware that even self-proclaimed left wing parties are liberal at best.

Here's the video that sparked my thoughts - it's a much more standard exploration of the history of satanism so there's not much in terms of analysis, just history. I'm getting slowly used to it but now whenever I hear a man speak on a political/philosophical subject, the absence of feminist analysis is palpable. I'm a big fan of breadtube and skeptictube but since I started engaging with feminism I can't help but notice those glaring gaps where they'll say stuff like 'trads want women to go back into the kitchen because they believe that men and women should have certain roles' - they're so deathly afraid to address what those roles are and why they exist, it would be funny if it wasn't frustrating. If I find any better resources on satanism I'll let you know; it would be cool if anyone has any good book recommendations on things like satanism, conspiracy theories etc. from a feminist point of view. (I think Gyn/ecology might touch on it? I've not got a copy unfortunately).

I am very unsurprised that your father is fine with a age gap between an older man and woman but not the other way round. It's one of the oldest double standards in the book, I'd wager! Also unsurprised about the sharp turn to loving violence in all forms. It's funny isn't it, how the absurdity of qanon is so obvious - it's been said before by women on here that there seems to be something so enticing about these farcical ideologies. I think people like confidence, they like the idea of being sure against all odds, and the more ridiculous the assumption the more you have to take it in on faith - and then you're locked in, because admitting it was wrong will eventually require you admit it's also patently absurd. I think a lot of people just don't want to take that leap. There are a lot of books on how to escape cults that might be of interest? Combating Cult Mind Control by Stephen Hassan comes to mind - I haven't read it but I've heard good things about it.

I didn't know you still live with him - that's incredibly tough. I can strongly imagine how difficult that would make day-to-day life. I have experienced something similar before. Not being able to talk freely with loved ones in your own home really does change something inside you, I think. I'm glad writing it all out has been cathartic for you - we women need to do this more, our experiences need to be heard and documented. I hate the fact that because of our visibility online we can never give too much away, but there are ways around it I think. It's been so incredibly cathartic for me to write - it's made me feel not crazy, it's given me focus and purpose. Anyway, best of luck to you, I hope you get out of that situation as soon as possible, or at least find some way of making it more palatable for yourself.

[freebooter4ever]

unrelated to the stick but have you seen cooking with geno?

Haaaaaaaaaaaa. I have :) i mean...what self respecting geno fangirl hasnt? If im honest i think it was the first thing with him that i watched, but i was not paying attention to him at all at all then. Aside from noticing that Fuck He's Exactly My Type If I Ever Had One and being very annoyed by it. My ADHD research spiral in the summer of 2022 went something like this: ra*ngers -> pana*rin -> russ*an red w*ngs -> larion*ov...and then i side tracked over to alyonka's mental health/ E*D*O videos, and then her podcast which also interviewd several hockey players including her brother (which are really interesting btw)...tldr i actually watched that video more curious about alyonka than geno, cause in her more current stuff she talks a lot about those early 2000's days and what it was like working in the league as a woman. Unfortunately for geno at that point the only thing i knew about him was that he was on the penguins and that he said some shit in one interview about bread, and i had already decided based on that and his instgrm that he looked like an asshole. I cannot find that interview quote about breadman, for all i know it could have all been made up, but it reaaaaally made me dislike him. So the first time i watched the video i was doing my best to ignore geno and pretend like he wasnt radiating attractiveness. My one conclusion about that video and a few other old pens videos with alyonka (and not geno but other players) i watched was that i was surprised how much more informal things used to be. She felt very casual and more like a friend to the players than the more professional style interviews i have seen while watching this stuff live now.

And if none of that research spiral makes sense just be grateful you dont have ADHD.

ANYWAY then lucky for geno he features in my favorite hockey photo ever - that one of him sitting on the boards with the snow and baby blue jersey. So i had to draw that photo, and then i started paying more attention to him that season, and watched that dan and sushi interview, and realized shit i might have been wrong about this guy. And maybe my change of heart only has a little to do with his Very Pretty Eyes.

And moooooonths (a year?) later i finally rewatched the cooking with geno video and had to basically admit that my initial gut instinct of Oh Shit He's Hot reaction remained the same. He's a terrible cook, somehow even worse than me which is saying something cause i'm really fucking bad at it myself. But his physicality/personality rather shines in the clip. (i have heard people say he was sexualizing or staring at alyonka??? It doesnt look like that to me, they just seemed very comfortable with one another and maybe a little teasing but im not the best at recognizing flirting etc). Young Geno's got that same confidence/swagger as old(er) geno that in most guys would come across as arrogant but with him it's very quiet and understated. He makes a lot of dumb jokes. Even on my second viewing i still didnt understand the basketball joke. He didn't talk much but there were a lot of shy smiles. He reminded me a lot of my old friend ethan in attitude and height - just like how he kind of awkwardly looms in the background at times, and how all his obvious strength is sort of soft in a gentle way. He also seemed like a guy very willing to listen, which was cute. But -and this might be me projecting. But sometimes when people try to 'teach' me how to cook i play dumb just so i can check out and not use my brain and let them do all the thinking and tell me exactly what i need to do. Its very lazy and i recognize this but sometimes my brain is tired. And i swear geno was maybe doing that to alyonka at times. Like i think his effort in the video was at most 70%. Maybe 50%. It takes one lazy cook to know another one. And i am a very lazy cook.

Sorry anon, ive been cleaning and working all day so you got more than you asked for, basically a character study, whoops.

Oh, also on the second rewatch i realized the weird short grimlin who only appeared to eat the food and then disappeared was tanger. I did NOT recognize him. I still cant really believe thats him.

[heauxanthem]

THANKS FOR THE TAG @flamediel you got the chance to hang out with each of the boys individually and were told you can choose one for each place, whom would you take to:

Outdoor movie night in a park (the ones they do to show old movies):Probably Joel, I think that he would appreciate the art of an old 50s movie. And we know he likes the 60s(or was it the 70s?) So i think it'll be right up his alley.

A concert of an artist you both like: I was going to say Joel as wel but if imma go to a concert i wanna go AWF. So maybe I would go with Chris. We could go to a Panic! At The Disco concert and live through our teenage emo fase together.

As a date to either "wow" or as a "fy" to a relative/family event: Maybeeee, Chris or Richard just because my family is pretty Christian so the tattoos are a bit 😱

As a roadtrip buddy for a 10 hour drive: Imma say Richard, i feel like he can be hype when it's time to be hyped but can also be pretty chill. We would laugh and quote memes so i think that would be pretty cool. Get some good snacks listen to some good ass R&B and trap

To a sports event (basketball, hockey, nascar, baseball, or anything like that): Really depends on the sport but I think but i think I'd take Rich or Erick to baseball. NASCAR i would take Chris. Basketball, I'd take Zabdiel. I don't think you'll ever find me at a hockey match. Soccer I'd take Joel or Chris.

~~~~~

If you knew that they would read/listen, what is one thing you'd want to tell the boys? (Could be to each/one of the boys or to all of them as a group) Boys, I hope you never forget who you are! I know it may be difficult sometimes and you just want things to work out. I know that when they don't, you might start questioning yourselves. Just know that we know that even though y'all be fucking up sometimes y'all don't do that with bad intent. That being said though, always try to work harder! Learn from your mistakes, take accountability and hold the fandom accountable as wel. Always strive to be a better man, a better artist, a better friend...etc. If you that nothing can hold you back. I believe in you!

What advice would you give to other people in the fandom? Or what would you wished you would have known about the CNCO fandom before joining?Uhm, well i came in for real for real after there was a big drop in numbers and i thought it was a really chill but sometimes i see some of these anons and i cringeeee sis. Also i didn't very consciously remember that obvi they have a lot of young fans so sometimes fan behavior REALLY strikes the wrong chord with me as an old aunty.

What made you "stan" them? Was it a specific thing or did you fell down the rabbit hole and the next thing you knew you were in too deep? Funnily enough i don't really remember what got me in initially. It was either Reggaetón Lento(Little reMix, see what i did there?) Or it was the spanish accents video. But as for me rejoining about 2 months ago, it was because i rewatched the accent video because i needed more serotonin in the quarantine.

I'm tagging

[gotgifsandmusings]

Unnecessarily Dramatic (maybe? Is it?) SM Update

Oh hi. I have no idea how to start this, lol.

So...it’s not exactly subtle that I’ve had a downturn in content and posts lately. And this was something that I was really debating whether to even explicitly talk about, because a lot of times posts or videos about dialing back from social media always feel very dramatic to me? Or self-serving in some way. Like, “Oh yes, I must be that important to necessitate this.”

But idk, the more I thought about it, I really really do appreciate anyone who’s read/commented on my writing, or followed me, or sent me thoughtful asks, and whatnot. I think it’s cool that we’ve been able to engage with each other over media, and that platform has allowed us to really delve into a ton of issues. Remember when I wrote a sourced series of essays on tropes in GoT Season 5 through the framework of ambivalent sexism just ‘cause?

And even though sometimes that engagement is me you know, being snotty to a rude anon, for the most part my writing analysis online, then fanfic, then podcasting, then building up a website and a community for thoughtful analysis, and even a youtube video here and there has been something really meaningful and rewarding to me. The fact that it’s maybe touched others? At least enough to the point where I’m getting anons saying, “hope you’re okay”? That’s very humbling.

So yeah, I do feel like I want to loop you in on what’s been going on, which I will do below the cut. (Apologies those on mobile.)

I’m starting to feel like a dishonest cars salesman here. “Oh yeah, I’ll totally write about that! I’m definitely going to have this piece then!” Even just the number of answered asks, most of which are incredibly good and insightful, you know, pains me that I can’t get to them. Hell, my drafts folder has about 40 partially answered asks. One is even about Sondheim! Why can’t I finish it??

Here’s the deal. For the past...6 months (maybe? A year?), I’ve kept saying, “when life calms down.” Or “Life has been a bear lately”...whatever that means. And I’m only now at a point where I’m realizing, my life isn’t going to calm down. In fact, my life—that being my primary career, my situation where I am, and my relationships to friends and family—sort of needs to be a priority for me.

Full confession: the reason I’ve been so prolific up until this point was due to the fact that my previous “day jobs” as I called them, while in line with what I studied and cared about, were something I could do in about 15 hours a week, if that. There was a finite amount of work, I was decent at it, and I really didn’t have an ambitious drive at these jobs because they really weren’t as focused or meaningful as I would have liked and the environments were not conducive to my personal professional growth.

So what did I do? I mailed it in. I found more personal fulfillment with what I was writing about online. It began with the Legend of Korra finale, which had excited me so much that I actually wrote my first rambling thoughts about it during work hours. At the time, it was on a Friday going into the “Christmas Break” where I’d be working from home, so it seemed okay to push work off. But I got a taste for that, got in a pattern of doing the bare minimum, and then focused my efforts on the stuff I actually wanted to be doing—chatting about media.  

And part of that was also due to the fact that I was in a major social rut. I was pretty isolated since I tend to have a smaller group of close friends rather than a large bunch of friends, and our career paths just kind of scattered us. I’d maybe get together with people once a month? I also loathed the dating game. I was, for the most part, working at a small startup with two middle-aged ladies and no options there, which left me with tinder and cupid. I laugh because I’ve gotten asks like, “wow you must have been a busy bisexual bee.” Yeah...3 or 5 months would pass and I’d realize I hadn’t gotten laid, so I’d worry that was a sign I was depressed, and I’d go on some random cupid date to have tangible evidence that that wasn’t the case.

My point being, writing about media and engaging with tons of people online was really appealing, and became an outlet for me in a way I never could have anticipated.

But that entire situation changed. For one, I began dating my now-fiance (as much as I hate that word) over a year ago. It was long-distance, so not a huge change at first. Then my sister moved home and in with me last fall, and my family commitments dialed up (3 cats and a baby!). Which was fantastic, it really was. But I think you probably noticed I produced less and less as this went on.

And then, finally, I moved my ass halfway across the country because long-distance wasn’t making any sense anymore. I wasn’t willing to move without a job lined up, so job hunting began to focus me again on my professional career. While I love writing and analyzing, I’ve never seriously considered this as a career path for myself. Which is no knock on anyone who does—it’s just pursuing that life formally is not for me. I have an engineering degree and a Masters in environmental policy, and the latter is truly what I’ve always wanted as my focus. I was finally able to hone in on a job that made sense for me with my background, not just a job that was around when I needed one.

I found it, I moved mid-April, and I absolutely love what I’m doing. The job, the workplace, everything has so exceeded my expectations in every way, and for once I have like, career aspirations where I am. This doesn’t mean I’m any less passionate about analyzing media, but it does mean that professionally, I won’t mail it in anymore to make time for that. My job has to be my focus, and in fact I’m likely going to be working 50 hour weeks to do accomplish what I want here. And don’t worry—there’s amazing work from home policies and PTO, so it’s not a “work you to your grave” kind of deal. I legitimately want to be doing this, because I care about what I’m doing and feel like it matters.

What does that mean though? Well, it means I have to take a step back from the amount I’ve been doing. I can’t be copyediting every night for The Fandomentals, I can’t be writing a weekly piece, and the GoT rewatch, and two podcasts, and longer retrospectives, and other planned co-analysis, and fanfic, and answering all the asks I want to, and checking my site email to organize and manage our team of contributors. Certainly not if I want to sleep, work out, keep up with the news, be around family and friends, and have some semblance of downtime. That I was able to do all this stuff this long is actually probably not the best sign, you know?

So I’m trying to really focus my efforts. I plan to keep both podcasts going, because I really love doing that. The GoT rewatch is going to keep on keepin’ on as well, as planned. Julia and I will still finish out our retrospectives for S7, and I’ve even already rewatched the Dragonstone scenes. But my weekly pieces in addition to all this are going to stop, unless I’m super excited by something. I have no idea about my fanfic, to be honest, and I think that’s going to have to be a situational mood-based judgement call. With regards to the asks and social media interaction...I will do what I can, but as you’ve been seeing, it’s just not something I have a ton of time for. I haven’t even gotten back into my gifcapping funky flow!

For my LoK blog, god, I don’t even know how the definitive rankings are going to end up. I want to try, but really who knows. Because the other thing is that I come home from work and am actually like...intellectually tired. I need a break. I feel like such a boring drudge now, but it’s true. (Also BOTW is a great destresser.)

So yeah, there’s really no good way to end this. I’m just letting you know why I’m going to be sparse. But that also I’m doing well, so no worries there, and thank you so much for anyone who’s sent something caring about this.

And I’m still me, of course. If some GoT spoiler comes out or promo pictures or something, you can bet I’m going to be memeing like normal, and probably having stupid back-and-forths with some bellicose anon. If I feel like ranting about some movie or comic for 15 minutes in a video, I’ll likely do that. But I just can’t keep placing expectations on myself to do more next month, and it’s not fair to you to keep saying “when life calms down.” Life isn’t supposed to calm down. It’s not an inconvenience that gets in the way of me talking about my feelings on a piece of media. And moving forward, I’m going to do what I can to have a more balanced approach to all of that.

[alittledizzy]

I know recently all dnp collab vids are all 'personal space who' but at 1:49 of the latest dapg vid when dan casually leaned in into phil is just so ajbsjbwdjhjbsjdk like give me a minute i need to pause the vid to wipe away tears (p.s. i miss reading your timestamps)

Same, same, anon. 

Timestamps - do you miss them because you haven’t been reading them, or I haven’t been posting them? Sometimes I don’t get a chance to clean them up or rewatch a video and I never end up posting them because it feels like if they’re for a purpose besides my own note taking I should put more effort in. 

I’m going to post Horse Prince ones on IDB before Phil’s liveshow today, but here are mine for Phil’s last liveshow, and the last Sims game. (Did I post those on idb? I might have posted the Sims ones.)

Phil liveshow 23 Feb

6:07 - Downside of haircuts at home is he has to clean up his own hair. 6:25 - Hoovering is his favorite household task. 7:55 - pink hippo 12:23 - His baby hippo rant. 15:00 - Impossible Quiz18:27 - NASA (ruined his NASA shirt by ironing it and melted the topic) and planet talk 18:42 - Pink sun is 'automatically amazing.'21:38 - "On NowYou being stroked by his shrimp price."24:38 - If he could live in a fantasy universe he'd pick a not dangerous one. 26:27 - Rainbow bird jumper27:02 - scent of happiness29:40 - Moonlight. He enjoyed it, but got slightly bored. "You've got to think, and it's quite harrowing." But objectively a good film. 30:07 - Pastel video. 32:38 - Favorite Lost character. Sun and Jin and Julet. 34:10 - Can't do FF on gaming channel. Too long. It is his relax time not gaming channel time. 35:30 - Took troll wig to the charity shop. Dan didn't tell him about mentioning it. 37:14 - Book of Mormon with his parents. Saw it from 'the circle' not the stalls. 38:40 - He was quiet in the horse video because he didn't know what to expect. 40:44 - Oscars party; last time he fell asleep before the end. He can stay up until about 3:30. 41:06 - Tongue sticky outy. 41:58 - He has a huge bruise, it's kind of gross. (They need to get rid of the coffee table.)42:36 - "Dan and I" watched Speed last week, last night watched Speed 2 44:45 - Pastel merch in the testing phase. 44:50 - Cool for Summer festival promo.

DAPG Sims #36

1:57 - Phil is so excited. 2:38 - Phil burning Dan for no punctuation on twitter. 2:56 - Dan teasing Phil for English Language degree/Phil educating. 3:18 - Cogs. 3:54 - Flamboyant Phil with "crystal bath" comment4:34 - Dan clarifies nanny isn't female; Phil is referencing Friends4:52 - "Don't flirt with the nanny"5:01 - "She's got worse posture than me" 6:00 - tricksty6:30 - Banana story6:33 - Dan's expression makes me think he had no idea what Phil was about to say about having a banana that day but he made some kind of mental assocation. 7:34 - Dan can relate to feeling playful after a bath?8:13 - hand on tit8:22 - "Did you play golf with friends... with your..." Dan seems far too amused for there not to be some kind of inside joking there. 8:24 - D: And did you touch her boob? P: No. D: Well, there we go. 9:17 - Dan finger snap 10:08 - Phil: "I don't want her here." Very decisive, very... odd? Something about that tone. 10:25 - P: "Why is the babysitter still here? Can Tabitha slap her as well?"11:07 - Phil's 'yes' to constantly embarrassing. 11:19 - Phil's 'me irl' - horning in on Dan's relatable fail meme-ry 

12:04 - Nightmare Before Christmas song - what's this, what's this - "furries watching me sleep" 12:28 - "That's like me trying to throw a ball." phil has the coordination of a toddler13:22 - I want to know what the jump cut is there for, after Phil says how this fills him with glee 17:29 - Dan wants to leave17:42 - cute soft Phil voice17:38 - tiny 'pleaaaase'18:59 - Okay I'm actually just laughing at Dil getting his ass out of there. 19:13 - Dan's actual quiet gaspy laugh. 20:41 - Look I know Dan's face is doing the pouty thing and there are five million gifsets of it already but; PHIL'S VOICE IS DOING THE POUTY THING 20:46 - Phil wants to go buy them a bed. 21:09 - Phil quietly: 'I didn't know it would set fire to things." Dan, equally quietly: 'It's okay.'21:35 - MOVE (Phil looks straight at camera, neutral face)