#[amd that im maybe in the middle of the biggest con ive ever done. but its not the thing i get worried about “being found out about” over]
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#letters to emily#[insert angsty useless nonsense here]#[something about mimicking and FOMO and taking myself seriously by talking with serious words]#[and forgetting im not something like that. and forgetting its worse for others]#[not worse. that others are actually like that and im just mimicking]#[look how good i am at mimicking!]#[amd that im maybe in the middle of the biggest con ive ever done. but its not the thing i get worried about “being found out about” over]#[truth is the rebar in the cement of mimicking. <- look at that im so cool]#[anyway. all i wanted to say is that the ability to mimick (very convincingly) and FOMO are a very very bad combination]#[and im so sorry for my angsty useless nonsense]#[wish i could talk to someone about what its like inside my head without sounding like a massive jerk. or a fake]#[i mean. im not a massive jerk im just curious and i like feeling special yknow]#[or maybe its that i *dont* like *not* feeling special. idk.]#[but im never going to be able to do that so :P whatevvvvvvvs]#[at least the radiator isnt whispering to me anymore that was kinda creepy]#[even if it was half just me mimicking too hard lol]#[which. if i think about it is kinda cool. i like thinking about myself its fun]#[and rude / completely uninteresting to other people unfortunately :( ]
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