#[𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪] addict
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♥︎. — nanami kento x reader
♥︎. — you were always weak to his love, so when you both broke up, you thought the weakness would leave with him. but now he’s back and apparently the weakness never left.
♥︎. includes. — nsfw, hurt/somewhat comfort, poc!reader, toxic relationship, manipulation, babytrapping, oral sex(f. receiving), praise, penetration, unprotected sex.
You were weak and you knew that. By weak, you meant in the emotional and mental department, by no means were you weak in terms of strength. But that didn’t matter much when your ex-boyfriend held your front door open with his hand, stopping you from shutting it in his face. “Y/n, please, I’m here to fix things,” he said, while also holding up a bag of takeout food. You didn’t know what made you fold, the free food in front of you or the handsome blonde man who held the food. It’s best not to think too much about it lest you fall deeper into the rabbit hole of your feelings for Nanami Kento.
It was awkward when he walked into your house, the decor is a perfect reflection of you through the hints of pink, black and white with modern furniture. Even the thin and short white robe, made out of satin, that had fur on the hem of the sleeves and along the bottom, including the edge of the belt that loosely held it together had fur. A perfect contrast to your dark skin and makes you feel sexy whenever you wear it. Nanami went over to the kitchen, setting the bag down on the counter. You stood a little further away, your arms were crossed against your chest and you sported an impatient expression.
He stared at you through the green lens of his glasses while he pulled out the different containers of food. Your robe barely clung onto your body, the thin fabric allowing him to admire the light outline of your curves. It hugged your body in a way that made him miss you even more. Nanami was never the lewd type, he liked sex just as much as the next guy. But there was something about you that made him lose control. Maybe if he put as much love as he did when holding your waist in his hands and listening to your delicious moans in his actual relationship with you, then maybe he wouldn’t be in this predicament right now.
“Are you gonna just stare at me?” You questioned, breaking him out of his daze. “Or are you going to tell me how food is gonna fix things?” you raised an eyebrow in tune with your question. “I’m sorry…” Nanami muttered before painfully removing his gaze from you. Although, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the way he stared at you, but you wouldn’t tell him that. Not now. You refuse to give that man any more power over you, you’d be a fool to give him a way to convince you to get back together with him. Not after all the crying you did, not after you yelled at him to leave when he came home drunk for the fifth time that week. You worked too hard to build up the courage to end things, you can’t go back now, no matter what empty promises he was able to say to you.
Nanami sighed, tired of the tense silence and turned to you. “Babe, look—“
“No, you don’t get to call me ‘babe’ anymore, Nanami.” You corrected, cutting him off. “We broke up.” Nanami took a step towards you, and you put your hand up in a stop motion. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, it was in its usual slicked back hairstyle. You always admired how put together he looked despite killing cursed spirits for a living. But his neutral face was plagued with dark circles under his eyes, and his body slouched as if the pain of the breakup was an invisible weight that pushed down on him. A sick feeling of satisfaction that he was suffering buzzed in the back of your mind but you silenced it.
He stepped towards you again and you let him, “I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he said, you raised an eyebrow as if saying ‘really’. “But I can’t live without you, I need you Y/n,” he continued, his voice sounding desperate. It was the first time you heard him plead or beg. “—Okay? And I think we need each other.”
“Now hold on, I don’t need you.” You stepped toward him, the distance between you both slowly shrinking. “In fact, I can’t stand you,” he was silent and you think you finally got the point across that you were tired of his shit. Done with all the arguing, the ignoring, the late nights, everything. He was your weakness but you learned to get stronger, at least you think you did. The way he was looking at you now, it was a look you were all too familiar with.
There was a pause, “Is that why you’re standing in front of me right now?”
You sucked in a breath, suddenly, the tiredness in both of your bones feels as though it’s evaporating or replacing itself with pure adrenaline. The look in his eyes made all your resolve crumble, he could always make you fold without putting in much effort. “Tell me you don’t feel anything and I swear I’ll be out of your life,” he said while taking a step towards you. He was closer now and his full height towers over you and stares you down. You try to talk yourself out of it, of what you’re about to let yourself do but the need looms over your head just as it does over his and Nanami’s eager to make you his again. You know you’re gonna regret this later, but how could you say no to him? You are no liar, not in the face of your handsome and sexy ex who still had you wrapped around his finger. Weak to his existence.
Reluctantly, you turn your rational thoughts off, undoing the belt around your waist and letting the robe fall off your shoulders and to the ground. Weakly glaring up at him, “happy?” You asked. He studied your body, drinking in the provocative underwear you wore, it was convenient you decided to put on your more sexy and matching lingerie. As if you planned for his arrival, and planned that he would talk you out of your robe. But that didn’t matter now, you wouldn’t be wearing them much longer anyways. Nanami grabbed you by your waist, pulling you closer to him, your chest pressed against his. “Not yet,” he murmured before capturing your lips in a heated kiss.
Nanami kisses you with the passion and fervor that has your legs becoming wobbly. Eventually, he wraps his other arm around your back, trapping you in his embrace. Your body trembled while being pressed against his body and moaned as you felt Nanami's lips against yours. For the first time in a while, you felt true passion and desire, along with the intense feeling of being wanted and loved. The feelings you felt were filled with love, sensuality and passion. You had never felt like this in a long time. Not since the beginning of the relationship, when you both were still in the honeymoon phase before it slowly fizzled out.
You responded to his kisses with the same level of ardor. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed yourself harder against him, your body craving to feel more and more of him. It felt so right. And you weren’t the only one feeling this way, Nanami couldn't stop kissing you. It was as though he was starving for you, desperate to make up for lost time. Every time you moaned or begged for him to kiss you harder, he would do his best to make you feel every ounce of his passion for you. He couldn't keep his hands off of you either. He started to run his fingers along your back, eventually leading up to your neck.
Your breath hitched with every movement Nanami made and every touch of his lips. You were completely taken by the moment, losing yourself in the warmth created between him. He had made you forget about the pain you felt from the past draining relationship. Every kiss, every touch from Nanami was an experience you were not going to forget. When these kisses ended, you would be a different person, one that wouldn't settle for anything less than love and passion. Even if it didn’t come from Nanami himself. Nanami eventually pulls away from the heated make out session and whispers to you. His voice was laced by lust and desire.
"I want you, Y/n. I'm sorry things got this way." You can feel his warm breath as he starts to kiss your neck and trail his lips to other sensitive spots on your neck and collar bone. When his lips sucked your neck, you began to experience a wave of emotions go through your body. This was too thrilling, too erotic, too magical. It made your body tremble with excitement. Rubbing your thighs together to create some much needed friction to appease the growing ache in your core. Despite the nagging in the back of your head, you didn't want him to stop. You let it happen, in all sincerity. You wanted more. More contact, more passion. You needed more. You felt alive in Nanami's strong grasp, your breaths becoming ragged, his kisses burning your lips. The feeling was simply indescribable.
Nanami moves your bodies to the nearby couch, forcing your body to buckle and sit on it. He doesn’t break away from you though, following close behind. He leans on the back cushion, pushing you against it with the amount of force he’s using, your form drowning under his as he deepens the kiss, devouring everything that you give to him. His knee digging into the seat beneath you, brushing against your clothed cunt, your juices already soaking through the fabric. The contact making your hips buck on his pant’s leg, you felt dizzy with desire as the roll of your hips. His free hand wanders down to trace his fingers along the sides of your body, purposely brushing against your sensitive nipples. You didn’t even notice he had unclipped your bra until it forced you to release your hold around his neck to allow him to take it off.
He placed soft kisses on your breasts, rolling the hard and sensitive nub while licking the other, to ensure neither one was neglected. When he reaches your thigh, he begins to slowly slide his hand back up, his fingers feeling the smooth texture of your inner thigh, and your legs widen to give him more access. Your face becomes flush at how close he was to your sex, internally urging him to finally touch you there. “Fuck…” you cursed between quiet moans. Nanami smiles and kisses your neck, enjoying how your body responds to him. He leans close to your ear, whispering, “I’m gonna need a little more than this to be happy.”
“Asshole,” was all you could muster up, keeping your hostile attitude despite the situation. But he only chuckled at your name calling, continuing to pepper kissing on your neck and collarbone. You looked at Nanami, your eyes wandering up and down as you took in every characteristic and detail of his physique that you could. Your heart was beating so fast that you could feel it everywhere in your body. You could barely resist Nanami's charming and seductive moves, it just felt too good and so... so right. You really are too weak to his charms.
Nanami dropped down to his knees in front of you and tugged at the waistband of your panties. “So pretty, but I’d like them better if they were off you.” And without wasting time, he snatched the expensive pair of underwear off you, stuffing it in his pocket for later use. He relentlessly holds onto your thighs to prevent you from moving, and he buries his face in the fold of your hip. You whine at Nanami's hot mouth being so close to where you want him and struggle against the grasp holding you down, your hips automatically arching up. He kisses at your lower stomach, all of the creases and stretch marks that adorn the skin.
“So pretty and perfect, I was dumb to lose you,” he murmured into your skin. Appreciating every part of your body, a body so divine that he nearly wants to shoot himself for almost losing you. “Don’t worry, darling, it won’t happen again,” he promised and maybe, just maybe, you will forgive him, welcome him back with open arms like before. Sure he missed your lustful stare, but he was in love with your happy smile that greeted him every time he came home from a hard day at work. You were silent, not responding to his promises of change, you didn’t want to hear that right now. If you thought too much about it, then you would overthink yourself into a crying fit. So instead, you chose to focus on the pleasure that coursed through your body when Nanami wraps his mouth around your clit and sucks on it teasingly, letting out a low, gratifying hum. A vibration that made you jolt and grip at his neat hair, messing it up with your hands.
You threw your head back, finally getting some kind of relief to the pain from your cunt. His warm mouth licks farther down between your folds after kissing your clit. Your eyes shut tightly and your legs wriggle in his grip as he expertly curls his tongue inside of you while licking and sucking you sloppily. Nanami releases one of your legs and you feel his fingers prod at your hole. You whine, spreading your legs further and relax into the familiar sensation. A moan escapes your lips at the feeling of his thick fingers inside of you, curling and hitting spots that your own hands couldn’t reach. Coupled with his never ending tongue-fucking, he has your back arching and a string of curses fly from your mouth.
Ever since the first time y’all got intimate, Nanami became obsessed with eating you out. Oftentimes when he came home from a stressful day, he would sit you down on any surface and just spend most of his evening in between your legs. He didn’t care for the way that after a few hours, you would be crying from overstimulation, pushing at his head to get him away, begging to be set free and that you couldn’t take it anymore. All those pleas fell on deaf ears, instead he would promise you that this was the last time, he just needed one more, can’t you be a good girl and cum for him one more time? And being weak to his sweet words of encouragement, all you could do was nod your head and sniffle as he pulled another painful orgasm from you.
He missed this, missed his rightful position between your legs, the familiar warmth your cunt emitted, your delicious moans, the burn from your harsh grip on his hair. He missed it all, and he’d be damned if it’s taken away from him again. His eyes stare up at you, admiring how undone you looked from his tongue and fingers. As he laps at your cunt like he was starving, your entire body is burning as Nanami adds a third finger in tandem with his wet tongue. You have to remind yourself to breathe because the pleasure was too much.
It isn’t long before you’re cumming inside his mouth and around his fingers, your body twitching from the intensity of the orgasm. Nanami kept your leg in place, using his elbow to keep the other one down. He fucked you through your high, thrusting his fingers lazily pumping in and out of you. The feeling of his fingers still hooked deep inside you causes you groan and to finally look down at him, saying, “Kento,” capturing his attention as his dark eyes turn to face you. God, wasn’t he a pretty sight? Kneeling between your legs, his mouth shiny with your slick (he never wasted a single drop). You also missed this. “Fuck me, please.”
If Nanami wasn’t hard before then he’s certainly hard now. The erection is almost too painful to ignore any longer. “Of course,” and you sense a hint of his own desperation. He pulls away after placing a final kiss to the inner corner of your thigh and pulls his fingers out. You whine at the emptiness and you’re filled with the need to be full of him again. He stands up from his kneeling position, “lay down,” he ordered, his voice low and firm, and it had you scurrying to lay your body flat while he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and fully took off his pants, freeing his hard cock. You gulped at the sight, his cock wasn’t long, sporting a good 5in, but he was thick and veiny with a dumbifying curve at the base. The tip was red and throbbing with pent up desire, leaking precum that trickled down his length as it stood high from erection. You wanted—no… needed it inside you. Obviously, Nanami agreed as he looks down at you with a look of pure hunger and you can only imagine the erotic picture you make for him. Completely naked and your chest rising from your heavy breaths while looking up at him with half-lid eyes and a lustful state, legs spread wide to show off your pink and swollen pussy, plus the mess of liquid that’s starting to drip out of you.
He positioned himself kneeling in between your legs, placing your legs on his shoulders. You look down and watch his cock slap against your wet cunt, sending an excited tingle through your body. He coated his cock in your juices, making sure it was nice and wet to enter you. Nanami knew you struggled to take his cock most times, and it was hard to feel bad when you looked so pretty while crying and whimpering, but he had to be kind this time. Placing his hands on your lower back, he pulls you closer and leads the tip of his cock to your entrance, pressing into it.
Once Nanami was fully inside of you, you felt like you were on the verge of passing out, the stretch and feeling of his cock so much further inside of you than any of your dildos, making your legs tremble. The air was knocked out of your lungs at the stretch. Your hand alternated between gripping the couch and holding the back of his thigh for support. Struggling to breathe, gasping slightly while you try and adjust. It didn’t help that the position he had you in forced your legs together and made your cunt more narrow, each thrust, no matter how slow you could feel every vein, every curve, every twitch of Nanami’s cock inside of you. Plus, it’s been months since you last had his cock inside you, since you last experienced the fiery sensation of being filled.
“Breathe,” you heard him. You didn’t even notice that you had stopped breathing, to hung up on how full you are. He caressed the side of your face, brushing strands of hair out of the way and his thumb traced against your bottom lip. “Breathe for me, darling, it’s okay.”
You hate it. You hated how caring he was, his sweet words as he coaxed you to regulate your breathing, how you fully wanted to take him back. But you didn’t want to hurt again, how could you be so sure that you would survive another heartbreak like last time? It was driving you crazy. Maybe… if you force him to stay somehow… force him to become better…
The blonde gave you time to adjust to his length, kneading your breasts and rolling your nipples through his fingers. This, coupled with him kissing the back of your hand, being so patient, and the way he looked at you so lovingly, solidified your final decision. He knew you were ready when you rutted your hips, mewling in need. He gave a slow experimental thrust, before starting at a slow and steady pace, not wanting to hurt you by starting off rough and fast. “Missed this,” he grunted, gripping at your waist, clearly struggling to move slowly. “Missed you…” he added, kissing your ankle.
Fed up with the slow pace, when he pulled out, you tugged his thighs and forcing him to slam hard. This action caused you both to moan loudly and the sound of your sloppy cunt has you clenching around him. He hissed in response. Not being one to ignore your obvious hints, he throws the slow pace out the window and thrusts his hips to bury himself deeper inside you, and begins a fast rhythm. The force of it winds itselfs into your stomach right alongside the coil of sick guilt and perverted pleasure. His dumbifying thrusts and the sound of sex blending it all together into a tight knot. You’re starting to wonder why you ever decided to try and give this up, and you’re grateful for Nanami holding your hips in a tight grip to brace you for his powerful ministrations. You are flushed all the way down your chest, a breathless, gasping moan punched out of you with every solid thrust.
You reach down between your bodies to rub your clit, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves as you try to rock your hips on his cock. Trying to match his relentless pace but ultimately being overpowered. As the intensity built, Nanami's hand glided up your body, finding your neck. He used his grip as leverage, squeezing his hand around your throat. "Pretty fuckin' thing, aren't you?" Nanami grit out. "You gonna come for me?"
You released a shattered cry as he adjusted your oxygen intake, continuing to massaged your bud with two fingers. His cock was completely entrapped by your pussy walls, which squeezed and confined him while enticing him farther into your body. You were unable to verbally respond, to overcome with pleasure to form words. Not that Nanami needed to hear you, he’s fucked you good so many times that he knows the signs of your approaching orgasm. Determined to watch you come undone, Nanami’s thrust intensified, each powerful thrust bringing new waves of pleasure coursing through his body, making him lose himself entirely in this primal act of release. The sound of heavy breathing and grunts echoed throughout the room, creating an erotic symphony that echoed off the walls.
A few hazardous thrusts later, your body was spasming and contracting around Nanami's cock, your orgasm washing over you and you let out a low moan. Nanami groaned in satisfaction as he felt your tightness contract around him, milking every drop of his essence. He fucked you through your orgasm, now solely focusing on reaching his release which wasn’t far off. His hand moving down from your neck to knead your breast, gripping it in an effort to ground himself.
When he feels himself beginning to reach his limit, he tries to pull out, but is surprised when you move your legs from his shoulders and wrap them tightly around his hips. Pushing him in further and making him unable to fully pull out. "Darling, I'm, mgh… close, let me go." He groaned, halfheartedly fighting against your embrace. He wasn’t wearing a condom and couldn’t risk knocking you up, not after all the stuff he put you through and his dangerous line of work.
“You said you won’t leave me,” you breathe out, still keeping your legs locked around his hips. “So you should fuck a baby into me to prove it.” Nanami could have sworn he saw hearts in your eyes, and he didn’t know whether to be scared or turned on. “That’s—“ you cut his protests off with a heated and desperate kiss. Nanami wanted to know when you had gotten so strong, he couldn’t get out of your hold to pull out, but it’s not like he actually tried. He was so enamored with the way your walls clenched around him that maybe having a kid wasn’t so bad. He barely has the time to fully think this through before he’s cumming inside you, filling your womb with his seed. Your incoherent mumbles intensified with every pulse of his member that dragged deliciously against your insides. Panting heavily, he finally pulled out of you, leaving a trail of sweat and fluids on both your bodies.
He leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head, his breathing slowly calming down. He carefully moved your tired body, flipping both of you to where his back was on the couch and you laid on his chest. The room was now quiet, save for your heavy breathes and quiet whimpers.
Nanami Kento never stood a chance at escaping the special brand of manipulation that you possessed. Especially now, eight months later, as Nanami watched the currently pregnant you rub your swollen belly while the shining diamond engagement ring sat pretty on your finger, the jujutsu sorcerer began to suspect that your selfishness was most certainly contagious. Not that either of you complained, because in the end, you were both weak for each other.
#[𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪] addict#black y/n#black reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu sorcerer#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x poc!reader#jjk x y/n#jjk nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#jjk kento#jujutsu kento#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami smut#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento smut#kento x reader#kento x y/n#kento x you
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Infinity nikki has me by the throat I’m so obsessed
#I’m having so much fun 🥹🥹🥹#it’s so addictive tho time just flies by while I’m playing#also it makes my laptop heat up a lot which kinda sucks but at least I’ve got turbo fans to cool it down#streaming: infinity nikki 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
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THANK YOU FOR WRITING AMAZINGLY 🙏🙏
(You feed into my dmc addiction)
Okay so Dante and V with an angel reader who’s is a bit of a tease(playfully)? (I have a dmc oc that I’m trying to map how it would work.I also just really like V and Dante 🤭)
dante and v with a teasing angel!reader 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
devil may cry x reader
┊ ˚➶ notes 。˚ 🎼
JELP I REMADE THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MESNT LIKE A SEXUAL TEASE SO I HAD TO START OVER 😭😭 hope you enjoy nonetheless though 💔
┊ ˚➶ warnings 。˚ 🎼
innuendo to v’s fate in dmc5, dante thinks you’re literally so hot, intended lowercase, lmk if i missed anything!!
. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄
. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓓ANTE — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
❥ first of all, angels are real?
❥ second of all, why are you so gorgeous?
❥ last of all, why does he find your teasing so hot?
❥ he’s not used to being teased, so once he meets you, he’s immediately taken aback by your quips.
❥ he likes being able to have a conversation and to bicker with you, though!! he enjoys the little moments you guys have of straight up making fun of each other.
❥ but jeez, all those words die out at the back of his throat when he looks at you. he always wonders how an angel like you— literally, ended up with someone like him.
❥ you guys have little inside jokes with how much you guys poke at each other, which he always cherishes when you laugh at the mention of them around other people when they don’t know what the fuck is doing on.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈ 。゚
. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓥 — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
❥ v also loves being challenged!! he finds it amusing that someone can keep up with his dry remarks.
❥ he likes being able to banter with somebody, so he immediately takes a liking to you with your wits and whatnot.
❥ enjoys watching you and griffon bicker, teasing him for the simplest things that make him dramatically feign hurt.
❥ he’s also fascinated with your species!!1!1! he’s only known angels to be apart of mythology so it’s a nice breath of fresh air in contrast to the weird and unruly demons he sees on the daily, or however long his existence lasts.
❥ doesn’t mind if you tease him, even if he’s too tired to respond. he’ll simply give you a close-mouthed chuckle and continue reading.
❥ sometimes, he’ll catch you off guard. you could make fun of him about that stupid sleeveless vest he wears and all of a sudden he’ll just look at you and then give you a breathy, “you’re beautiful.”
❥ then he’ll walk away and act like nothing ever happened 😭
#devil may cry#devil may cry x reader#dmc fanfiction#devil may cry fanfiction#dante sparda x reader#dmc dante x reader#dante x reader#dante dmc x reader#dante sparda#devil may cry dante x reader#devil may cry dante#dante dmc#dmc dante#dmc v x reader#dmc v#v dmc x reader#vitale x reader#vitale#ODOTTIE *・῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ 💘 ✧.*#kiss kiss
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captivated habits | 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
prompt: your unrequited love for peter turns unhinged.
warnings: mentions of stalking, f!masturbation (referenced), unrequited love, obsessive behaviour, ptsd, erotomania, attachment issues, and bpd (borderline personality disorder)
word count: 5.9k
a/n: i was feeling dark, so read at your own risk i guess. also tysm for the love on rebound ajnskafn!! part three is in the works <3
The moment you met him, you should've known something was wrong with you.
At first, you thought it was an innocent crush, always having that feeling of butterflies flying around in your stomach when you were around him. You even looked forward to going to school, having the energy that normally you never had. He had you on a euphoric feeling.
The next thing you know, you're becoming a lot more addicted than you should've. Most people say it might be limerence, but you know that's almost complete bullshit. Now, those people could be telling the truth, but there was something deep down inside you that ached, always.
You were becoming a different person in the most unhealthy way. You started to seek him out in the school hallways, got to know his schedule, and there was even one point where you followed him home (which may or may not have been an accidental occurrence that happened more than once).
He of course did not know who you were, you weren't friends but he knew you from a few of your classes (three of them to be exact), so he had no idea of your intense feelings for him.
It was unrequited in the worst way possible. How can someone so pretty, so pure and innocent not feel the same way? Possibly because you made no effort to have an actual conversation with him, the only time you did was when he asked to borrow your pencil. Let's just say you cherished his touch on the wooden object as soon as you got home from school that day.
The boy in question is Peter Benjamin Parker. The absolute love of your life. His beautiful chestnut brown hair, those same coloured eyes that shine brighter than the sun, moon and stars. His nose as crooked as a trail through the woods, the small dotted freckles decorating its presence. The boy was one of a kind, you loved him more than you loved yourself.
There were times where you would stay up at night, fantasizing about what it would be like for him to yours. Being able to embrace his warmth, letting him be the shoulder you cry on, having special dates only reserved for the two of you. Those thoughts ate away in your head, you were too down bad, but you didn't care.
Currently, you were laying in your bed, trying to get proper sleep. It had been a long day, only having a little amount of time to see him. If it wasn't for your mother who had unfortunately picked you up early because you had a dentist appointment, you would had got to see him longer throughout the day. The class she had called you out of just so happened to be the class Peter was in, so now he probably thought you had something wrong with your teeth, which wasn't the case. You only had three hours and fifthteen more minutes until you got to see him again.
You would always get up an hour before you had to attend school, picking out your prettiest outfit for him even if he didn't pay attention to you half the time. It wasn't his fault, never would it ever be his fault. Plus, you liked watching the sun rise, imagining what it would be like to be on a random rooftop of New York, watching the star rise in its wake with Peter.
Peter had always got to school five minutes after it's starting time, reasons you were unsure of. You always tried to linger around his locker before he arrived because it gave him a chance to see you once he cascaded up the stairway. His gaze was always straight ahead (or sometimes downward depending on his mood that morning), so you sometimes purposely walk past him after standing at his locker for five minutes straight. This became a daily routine.
Though so far it doesn't seem like you have a mental illness, but there is surely something wrong with you without a doubt.
People who just have "crushes" or are "in love" are the people you tend to avoid. Those are silly feelings. Feelings that only last for a few weeks or even months. With Peter, you knew it was more than love, it made your head spin with the possibilities that you had a chance with him.
You knew Peter never felt the same way, he didn't even know your name, which is understandable because you never made the effort to get him to know your name. But there were times that made you feel like he knew exactly who you were. He would sometimes send a small friendly smile your way, ask you for help on problems that involved the classes you shared together, and even grazed your fingertips when you gave him that pencil. It was a sign of the start of your love story.
Sometimes you wrote letters to him, none of them were sent of course (except maybe the poems), and even emailed him a few times, anonymously complimenting him on his excellent work or you would write words of affirmation on his favourite coloured sticky notes, placing them on his locker before, after, or during school hours.
You knew Peter didn't take a liking into your unwanted gifts. There had been a few times when you had sent him LEGO Star Wars sets to build with his friend, Ned. You only did that because you heard him talking about it, and you loved the idea of making him happy. You even started watching Star Wars because he was so fond of it. Sadly enough, he had exchanged your gift for some sort of technology for whatever project he was making. You only knew this detail because you were there, obviously.
It would had hurt a lot more, but you were glad he was actually happy with his barters. Doing it a few more times only proved his happiness was limited and you noticed it started creeping him out instead of doing the exact opposite.
You feared the worst if he ever found out it was you all along.
Once the timer hit six thirty AM, you eagerly arose from your bed, grabbing your outfit you had thought thoroughly about since yesterday when you had went shopping with your mom. You bought clothing items you knew he would like, you were feeling hopeful.
You even snuck into your mother's beauty kit, applying a step my step makeup look you saw on YouTube last night. It wasn't too much make up, light enough for Peter to see the glow that amplify your best features.
After what felt like ages of applying the look, you grabbed your backpack from your closet, the pictures that decorated the inside only making you smile, thinking of the day that's bound to be wonderful ahead of you.
The pictures weren't anything too special, just a few off guarded candids of Peter, either reading, walking in or out of Delmar's, or your personal favourite, when you were outside in the field during gym for one class, you just so happened to catch a glimpse of his smile. You've never pulled out your camera so fast.
Yes, it was unnatural, and borderline creepy, but he didn't suspect a thing considering you're in the school's photography club. To be fair, the only reason you joined was for the sole reason of taking pictures of Peter.
Sometimes you would remove the picture from the closet's wall and get under the covers of your bed, holding it up to your face, touching yourself as you imagined what it would be like to have him engulfing your body, having his way with you.
Those thoughts were for another time, you figured you could wait until later tonight to revisit them.
When you exit your room, you make your way out of the apartment, making sure to have the new digital camera you had previously bought with your last paycheque, inside of your backpack. Though you only did photography because of Peter, it still interested you in ways that were sometimes not even related to the boy, which is less than one percent of the time.
If you were to put all the pictures you took on the small objects into a hard drive and upload it to a computer, people would be freaked out by just how much pictures you had of Peter.
You were so glad when you arrived at school, quickly shoving your things into your locker, making your way to the second floor to where Peter's was.
Your heart did somersaults, backflips, front flips even, as you got closer to the threshold. Though you knew the boy wouldn't arrive to school for another hour, you felt that if you stood near his locker long enough, you swear you felt his presence.
Walking up the stairs, dodging the many bodies of students that lingered around, you were so excited to just stand near his locker, tracing your fingers across the combination that you knew had his hands touch every so often.
The only downside to it was you didn't know his combination and no matter what you did, you could never figure it out, even if you planned to watch him put it in one day, the numbers were just so small to see, it made you feel undeveloped that you couldn't be closer to him in that sense.
What you did not expect to see when you finally were on the second floor was Peter standing at his locker talking to his friends.
No-, not friends, Ned, his only friend, and some girl who you recognized from your Math class.
She was tall, a lot taller than both Ned and Peter, she had brown curly hair and her skin was a light fair tan, her gorgeous face only adding to her appearance.
You could feel your guts inside your stomach twist and turn, the sick feeling only getting stronger when you watch as Peter effortlessly laughed at whatever it was the girl had said.
When had Peter decided that coming to school one hour before he actually does was a good idea? And why had you had no knowledge about his sudden change of schedule?
It was unfair that the boy had decided out of nowhere to change his daily routine. It threw you way off course, and you only hoped that the boy only made a change in his morning route, opting to still go to Delmar's every Wednesday (today) after school.
Your glare only got more diabolical the more you watched the three of them interact, the sight making your thoughts whirl with things only psychotic murderers would dare think of.
"Hey." A voice greets you from behind, startling you and you thanked whoever it was before you went too far off the deep end of the sight a few meters in-front of you.
You turn around, your gaze meeting your friend since freshman year, Cindy Moon.
She was a pretty Korean-American girl, her long black hair complimenting her small figure.
If you were being honest with yourself, you were only friends with the girl because she was on the Decathlon Team with Peter, and she was the only one from the team to actually make an effort to talk to you whenever she wasn't involved with studying, or being a friend to the world.
Of course the girl is aware of your "crush" on Peter, unaware of your obsessive delusions that you would much rather keep to yourself. There were times that the girl had made plans for the two of you to talk, but you were too afraid and unprepared to actually grow the balls and do it.
It's not like you haven't planned your first encountrment with the boy in your head, but you'd much rather do it on your own accords than have someone else half ass do it out of the kindness of their heart.
"Hey Cid." You reply with a small smile, quickly turning your attention back toward where Peter and his friends would have stood, but unfortunately they were nowhere to be found.
You eye twitched at the thought, scolding the girl behind you for missing your chance at seeing Peter walk away, capturing the backside of his figure as he did.
You turn to face the girl with a frown, watching her smile never disappear.
"Ready for first period? I did the homework for you!" She cheerily says, pulling a piece of paper from behind her back, giving it to you.
You take it gratefully, looking down at the Chemistry homework you knew you weren't going to do whatsoever.
Now to make yourself clear, you weren't using Cindy for doing your homework, that was just a plus. It wasn't your fault the girl was such a pushover. You had better things to do, like develop your film from your camera, find the perfect GPS tracking devices off Amazon that costed less than at least sixty dollars, and be near the love of your life any chance you got.
"Thanks." You simply say, your hands gripping the paper slightly.
"You're welcome." Cindy replies, and you were just about sick of her smiling.
"Okay, stop smiling, it's getting creepy." You tell her with a grimace, satisfied with yourself once her face slowly falls to a neutral expression.
You really had no problem with "happy-go people", it was just when someone who you knew or not had too much to smile about, it outraged you for reasons you weren't too sure of. Nevertheless, it was one of your many pet peeves, and the more you thought about those thoughts, you realized you might just be the most pessimistic person to walk earth.
There were a few things that made you happy of course, and you had a pretty well-tamed structure to maintain those happy thoughts to yourself, so you couldn't see why people most of the time couldn't do the same.
Even if it wasn't just "happy" thoughts, you knew humans were utterly incapable of keeping their thoughts to themselves. Always finding any reason to create chaos with their deliberations.
Sometimes you could never understand, maybe will never understand why humans are the way they are, yourself included you supposed.
"We should get to class." The girl breaks you from your notions, tugging on your sleeve as she drags you through the hall.
You blink a few times, coming back into reality, staring dumbly at a almost frantic Cindy Moon.
"Alright," You tell her quickly, snatching your arm away from her hold, following the black haired girl through the hallway to your class.
-
Your first period went by agonizingly slow. You were just itching to see Peter for your third period, and second period wasn't any better with its slow clock, which also happened to have been broken.
When second period was over after what quite literally was forever, you hastily packed your things and made a bee-line to your third period class, sitting in your unassigned assigned seat, said place had the perfect view of Peter as well.
You pulled out your notebook, the item was pencil filled with all sorts of logs of whenever you'd see or hear of Peter, and if you were to be honest, it was almost out of pages. You made sure to be careful when in public, hoping and praying that the people surrounding you didn't take a glance to see your so called "creepy" hobby and take it completely out of context. If that were to ever happen, you would quickly come up with a lie, or maybe if god was real, they wouldn't care in some sense.
You adored keeping track of Peter, it made you feel closer to him, though yes, there are other things that you do consider as close as you can get, but you know this is a way of knowing him better without actually having to talk to him.
"Is anyone sitting here?" A voice breaks you from your trance, and you smoothly and swiftly close your notebook, glancing up to the source of the voice curiously.
Your heart almost stops right then and there. You didn't want to believe it and had to blink more than twice to make sure you were seeing the person who stood before you. Suddenly, you felt this immense amount of impulse, the feeling being too reaming for you to handle.
In some fucked up way, you're sure you deserve this, having this weird inkling that the boy standing above you, almost towering you, had known about your obsession. He had only come over to tease you about it and possibly confront your creepy actions to the entire class (maybe even the entire school if you're honest). It made your head spin and you lack the proper ability to conjure up any english words, his eyes practically pleading for an answer.
"I, you,-" You start to form a sentence, scanning his attire, making a mental note in your head, and your heart beat increases to make things that much harder.
Peter was way too nice for his well-being, and normally you'd hate that in a person, but this was Peter, you loved anything he offered, and if he were to commit a violent crime, you'd be his number one defender. Hell, you'd even help him commit any crime if he asked.
Still, you figured maybe you were in some dream and Peter wasn't actually approaching you, asking if the seat next to you was available, because he shouldn't know of your existence, and it should almost be a world of fiction to allow him to ask you so.
"No." You mumble, hoping he'd heard it because you knew you weren't going to say more than just that one word.
Peter shows you a smile in appreciation and if you weren't sure you died before, you're sure you one percent died just now.
The boy sets down his bag near the free chair, and you move your stuff out the way to allow him the space he needed, watching his every move carefully.
You wonder if this was a wake up call of fate. In your head, you knew Peter was the one for you as much as you were the one for him, and maybe there was a god and the universe is conspiring for the two of you to be together. All it took was a little push.
The teacher walks in moments before the bell rings, and as quickly as he enters, the lesson starts not even seconds later.
"Sorry, do you have a pencil?" Peter has asked you in the past, of course, you remember it like yesterday and if you didn't, you knew it was probably in your 'log' notebook anyway.
You smile, a small unnoticeable one (that you made sure of), and instead of giving him a verbal answer, you dig through your backpack, pulling out a pencil before handing it to him, hearing a small 'thank you' that you surely heard.
Okay when you say a pencil, you mean the pencil, the same one you, well, had touched yourself with. Not that it was coated in anything other than your wetness, because if you were being frank, it was damn near impossible to reach climax with a object that thin.
You expertly observe Peter, your heart swelling at how tenderly he held onto the pencil, his concentrated expression doing wonders to your well-being. The poor boy had no idea of the sinful deeds you had done with the object in his grasp.
The whole lesson, you paid more attention to Peter, his scent, the way he wrote, and the many facial expressions he made whenever he was listening to your boring teacher speak. It was like watching your favourite film on repeat, learning the lines of each scene, and when you knew you had mastered each scene perfectly, you'd reenact each line word for word. Peter was your very own favourite movie, and hopefully one day he can reciprocate how you felt, perfecting you the way you perfected him.
"Here's you pencil, sorry I keep borrowing from you." He lets out a chuckle as he hands you back your (his) pencil, but you weren't up for that. As much as you would like to take it and cherish it, you knew it would mean a lot to you if he had kept it.
"No, you can, you can have it." You tell him, rejecting his hand that held the pencil.
Peter gives you a quizzical look, making sure it was okay if he did and you nod in confirmation.
"Oh, thank you." He smiles that award winning smile again.
You smile, packing your things up as the bell rings, students rushing out this dull classroom. You wanted to get out of there quickly, because you had something you needed to do and you know that if you got done in time, you'd catch Peter entering his science class with his friend, Ned.
"Hey, wait, um.." Peter calls out to you before you could exit the door and you turn around, albeit, quite desperately, seeing the boy with his backpack slung over one of his shoulders approaching you.
You feared the worst, truly. If he wasn't going to confront you in the beginning of class, he sure was now. Maybe the boy didn't want to embarrass you terribly in-front of everyone. Wanting no one around when he calls you out.
"I see you around a lot and I was just wondering if you wanted to sit with my friends and I at lunch today." Peter suggested, fiddling with the strap of his backpack.
"Not that I stalk you or anything, I just, you know, you seem cool and I guess...I don't know..." He seems at a lost for words, and you find it almost ironic how he doesn't stalk you, it being the other way around. Not that the boy needed to know that.
You stare at him, for a while, thinking of a answer that didn't seem too desperate, because had you known today was the day the love of your life talked to you for more than a second, you'd had the whole day planned out expertly.
"Sure." Was the most simple answer you could come up with, and the faltering smile from Peter grows wider.
"Cool." Peter nods in joy, walking past you, his scent ten times more stronger than it was before.
You turn around, watching him walk away, a skip to each step he took and you smile at his gleaming attitude, though you feel guilty for being the prime reason.
Guilt is such a improper feeling. Why should you feel bad for being in love with someone? Yes, it was very unhealthy with the rate you were at, you weren't even above surface anymore with the way you felt for Peter, but you honestly, didn't care.
Love came in many definitions and if you had to be delusional and down right psychotic to express that, so be it.
-
Michelle Jones. A fellow student at Midtown School of Technology and Science. An observant person who was well gifted in being smart. She shares your math class, the top of it as well and you envy everything about her.
Not only was she drop dead gorgeous, though she never tries to dress up at all, or even wear make up for that matter, she was also friends with Peter. You couldn't understand how or why. Peter was too good for anyone, such as Michelle herself, maybe even Ned.
Michelle didn't appreciate everything Peter did. Didn't understand him the way you did. Didn't go out of her way to send him gifts you knew he'd adore.
You couldn't see pass the logic of those two people, with much different personalities being friends.
It made your skin crawl with nuisance. What could she possible bring to the table that made Peter want to keep her around?
Of course, it wasn't like they were dating, you're pretty sure at least, but why would Peter feel the need to be friends with any other girl other than you?
You were okay with him being somewhat friends with your unknown mutual one, Cindy, but being friends with a girl you barely knew was testing your limits.
You really had no right to be jealous, Peter was barely considered a friend himself, but if you two were to be together, he simply couldn't be friends with girls much prettier than you. It may give him the wrong idea and you were terrified he'd forget about your existence entirely.
Which is why you had to give Michelle the benefit of the doubt. You studied her all math class, trying to have a decent understanding as to who she was as person, and thank goodness you were a quick learner.
All it took, really, was the entire math class to scout out exactly who she is and how she worked. Maybe you could weasel your way into her small circle, become her friend and break her down bit by bit and have a guarantee she wouldn't even think to become anything more with Peter. You'd make her insecure.
Yes, it's a patent wicked plan, you knew that, but you weren't going to risk your chances at love with Peter.
"It's Michelle, right?"
The girl incuriously glances up at the source of the voice, the math problem she was working on merely forgotten.
"Who's asking?" Michelle wondered, and you subconsciously clench your jaw, showing the girl a small, forced smile.
"I am." You tell her simply, she squints curiously at you, scanning your figure.
She was trying to reading you, you could tell. You knew you weren't really an open book, and also you were well aware that she knows you don't talk much unless talked to, so it was probably strange to her that you of all people came up to her to start up a conversation.
"Do you need help with the work?" She questions, her gaze fixated on you in a way that almost makes you feel small, but you knew better.
"Um, no, I just..." You blink in confusion, trying to think of anything to say.
It was hard having conversations with people you barely knew. The only reason you were friends with Cindy was because she literally forcing herself to become your friend, which did end up going well for you. But, overall, you weren't a people person and it was obvious, painfully so.
"I know you from Peter." You grimace, and she nods slowly, noticing your delay.
Michelle gives you a long look, a look that you could interpret as a dubious gaze, one that said she didn't quite believe the words coming out your mouth. You weren't lying, you had known her from Peter, so you really had not understood why she was looking at you like you were the world's worst liar.
You lie, but you would never lie about Peter, unless you had to.
"From the stalking perspective or because you actually made the efforts to get to know him?" You think you hear her ask, you're not entirely sure, so you blink, watching the girl's face, her eyebrow raised as she awaited your answer.
"I'm sorry?" You quiz, hoping she'd repeat the question you knew you heard right.
"I said did he tell you I needed more friends?" Michelle was calm and collected, her face almost mocking you at your delusions.
You were out of your mind, it was to the point you were hearing things that weren't actually being said.
Granted, there was a certain possibility the girl had said that and you deluded yourself into believing that's not exactly what she said, hence why you had her repeat the question she asked. There was also a possibility she changed her words for your sake.
You knew you had to get rid of her.
"Not exactly.." You trail off, your mind drifted into different possible scenarios.
"Peter," You bite back a smile when his name rolls of your tongue. "Invited me to sit with him at lunch and I know you sometimes sit with him and his friend so, just trying to make friends with his friends." You tell her, hoping to cover up your growing anxiety.
"We're hardly friends." Michelle could almost laugh at your bold assumption.
If the girl wasn't so observant, you'd let out a breath of relief at that knowledge. Your body visibly relax.
Honestly, you had no idea what to say next. You wanted to say anything, but nothing came to mind. Michelle was probably the most difficult person (aside from Peter), to talk to. You wondered if Peter considered her a friend, and that thought alone did not sit well with you.
"Oh."
"Yeah, but guess it's cool he finally had the courage to talk to you." Michelle says, and this time you know you had heard her right.
Your eyes widen in the slightest, but still highly obvious way, at her words. It wasn't right to feel this amount of joy over a sentence, but you had been waiting for this confirmation for awhile.
He finally had the courage to talk to you.
Before you could ask the girl what she meant, the bell rings and you're happiness is replaced with anger, Michelle is quick to pack her things and rush out the door, and you watch her from the window of the classroom, thinking about her words over and over again.
This was probably unhealthy, very unhealthy in fact, to think such thoughts that rushed into your head. But, no, this, this was a clear sign from the possible god above.
Peter had the courage to talk to you, which meant he had some sort of romantic feelings toward you, a stark contrast from your intense feelings for him. You couldn't believe you had not noticed the signs. Maybe because you had not had the courage yourself to talk to him, and it really flew over your head of how he could possibly develop feelings for you if you watch his every move like a hawk.
Okay, maybe not all the time, but on a occasion you would gaze at him, because you loved his face, it was memorized, tattooed in your brain. Had Peter finally come to his sense that you and him belonged together? Maybe he had knew it was you all along who sent him those gifts, which made him fall in love with you even more, the poor boy just didn't know how to approach you.
Whatever it may be, you would delude yourself with the possibility of Peter having romantic feelings for you, because it was lunch time, which meant you got to sit with him, he had asked you to and it would be a crime to deny that offer from Peter.
-
You couldn't see it. Actually, you refused to believe it.
Peter Parker is such an unbelievable, incredible, pure soul. You needed and wanted to corrupt him, not in the same way you did with Michelle, no, you wanted to break his innocence, let him see the world for what it truly was.
He had this facade, you could tell, that the world was all sunshine and unicorns, it annoyed you. Of course, he could be masking his own sadness, which didn't sit well with you. Peter being unhappy made your heart ache in the worst ways possible. You knew that if there was any chance of the two of you becoming two souls and one heart, you had to decrypt his positive mindset.
Though, you love that about him, it wouldn't get him anywhere in life. You had to make him see that.
The lunch was admittedly, amazing. Despite your reluctance toward his friend(s), Ned was a pretty decent person, and in the future, you knew it would benefit you if you became friends with his friends, because that's what he wants.
Ned is an easy to talk to kind of boy, and he makes you laugh, a genuine laugh, sometimes you force it if you didn't understand the joke he told, for Peter's sake.
Peter on the other hand, really didn't spare you any glances unless he was talking to the entire table, and you found it weird, he had this sort of fearful glint in his eyes each time he made eye contact with you. You were worried, couldn't read him right to have an understanding as of why he was staring at you like you committed murder and swore him to secrecy.
Maybe it was because you were awfully quiet the whole lunch period, only laughing whenever Ned said something 'funny'. Truth be told, you had no faith in your voice to conjure up a proper sentence starter, so you relied on the table, and if the topic was in your interest, you'd voice your opinion.
None of that happened, Peter fiddled with his hands nervously, like he had something he wanted to say but couldn't word it right.
At some point Michelle had come over, and he eased up from the tension he felt, which didn't go unnoticed by you, your brain ticked in irritation.
"So, uh, what did you get on your science quiz, Ned?" Peter questioned randomly. Ned was on the topic of something Star Wars related, so it confused you, but you ignored it, picking at your food.
"I dunno, dude. We literally just took it." Ned points out and you glance up curiously, just in time to see Peter give Ned a wide eyed look before catching your gaze and showing you a tight lipped smile.
You don't reciprocate it, continuing to stare at him with a blank expression. Now you could see what was going on.
It wasn't that Peter had liked you, now you doubt that very much, he had felt bad for you because you had no friends, which wasn't true, you had one. Not only that, but there was this small itching, aching, feeling that he had some sense in the know of your activities, which involved him.
Maybe not all of them, but the stalking, possibly, the gifts, probably, and that's all you know he was maybe well aware of. It didn't take a genius to figure it out, but it did take a lot of backtracking to figure out when and where he had realized you were being a creep.
Or, you could be thinking into this too much, but you're and over thinker, so you're sure that the thing Michelle had definitely said was true, and she made sure to make Peter well aware of it.
It would explain why he was so nervous when asking you to sit with him at lunch, and why the boy was so uneasy when you resided at the lunch table.
You had to get away from the trio before confirmation could be made, so you throw your plastic fork on the tray of untouched food, quickly getting up from the lunch table.
"Wait, wher-, where are you going?" Peter was frantic, and you turn around, just because it was him, seeing all three of them stare curiously at you.
"I have, something to do?" You tell him, and you know it sounds more like a question, but you didn't care.
Michelle shares an unconvinced look with Ned, who tries his best to hide it, Peter glances at his female friend for help, and she shrugs before going back to her book, ironically titled, 'Notice'.
Fuck, now you knew they knew.
Peter's mouth opens, but now you're long gone. You had no idea how you could let this happen. You thought were thorough and careful, you made sure of it. It was Michelle, it had to have been.
You wanted to curse Peter for becoming friends with such an annoyingly observant person. You couldn't, and you knew that.
Despite him knowing about your stalking habits, you weren't going to let him know you knew. You were going pretend, and become the worst version of yourself you had always feared.
Just because Peter knows, doesn't mean you were going to stop, you just had to be extra careful now. You were going to make him come to a realization that you do what you do because you love him. Peter will come to his senses and soon love you.
You just had to eradicate the obstacles in his life.
part two???
#peter parker x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#peter parker smut#dark!reader#dark!reader x peter parker
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♥︎. — toji fushiguro x reader
♥︎. — daddy’s little girl has a big ego and she needs someone to satisfy her when it reaches its peak. and toji just happens to be her favorite investment.
♥︎. includes. — nsfw, poc!reader, sugar mommy reader, god complex, contract relationship, oral sex, body worship, praise, vaginal fingering, male masturbation, creampie, multiple orgasms.
❝ 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝑒. 𝒶𝒹𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑒. 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓂𝑒. ❞
Toji grabbed your hand, bringing it to his mouth and placing a gentle kiss on it. He continued to pepper kisses up your arm, taking his time to reach your neck before burying his face in the crook. He began to bite and suck hickeys into your skin, while using his hands to slowly bring down the shoulders of your robe. “My lady,” he whispered, amused when he noticed your labored breathing. He tugged at the rope binding your robe, exposing your lingerie clad body. Toji began to touch your body, leaning over the couch to graze his fingers on your thighs. He didn’t need to lean far, his arms were long and able to reach, and he knew how much you liked when he towered over you even though you insisted on always being above him.
He traced your waist and hips, worshiping every fold with his touch, his fingers teased your skin, feeling every inch of your perfect body. Grazing his fingers over your breasts and nipples, the bra you are wearing is partly shear, so your nipples poked through the thin layer. “You’re so pretty, so beautiful, I can’t believe I’m allowed to touch you,” he praised in your ear, his voice was deep and sent a excited shiver down your spine. You rubbed your thighs together, trying to ease your growing arousal. Your head falls back and rests against his broad chest as a quiet, small moan escapes your lips when he reaches down and puts his hand inside your panties, rubbing his middle finger through your slick. Rubbing a lazy circle around your clit before dipping two of his fingers into your hole, using his other hand to push your bra over your breast and twisting one of your nipples between his fingers. You let out quiet moans from his stimulation, closing your eyes at the pleasurable feelings being given to you.
“So pretty, so good to me, I don’t deserve you,” he muttered, his words and unwavering movement of his fingers sent you over the edge. You let out a low whine as you came around his fingers, letting out heavy breaths and rolling your hips to ride out your high. You held back a disapproving whine when his hands retreated from your body. You opened your eyes and was ready to berate him for stopping without your permission even though you told him to take the lead today. You were silenced by the sight of Toji putting the fingers that were just inside of you into his mouth. He made a show of lapping them with his tongue and sucking them, before dramatically pulling them out his mouth with a wet pop. “Delicious,” he said with a smirk.
Toji made his way around the couch in long strides, standing in front of you and wasting no time on getting on his knees. It was as if he was kneeling for his goddess, he gently took your foot and kissed the top of it, holding the bottom of your foot at an angle and running his other hand softly up your calf. He kissed sensually up to your knee before switching to your other leg and letting your previous foot hang over his shoulder and on his back. Each kiss makes you feel loved, craved, and wanted. He nuzzled the side of his face on your inner thigh, as if he was worshiping at the altar, you are like a goddess, the most beautiful woman in the world who can do no wrong, and he adored every inch of your soft curves. Those hips, thighs, tummy, all of it is worthy of worship and admiration. You were simply divine.
“You’re perfect, so damn heavenly,” he growled. Toji gripped your thighs and spread them open, grabbing at your lace underwear and pulling them off, a trail of your juices followed it and he had to hold himself back from ripping them off right then and there. But he knew you were particularly about your clothing and would have his head for acting out of character. He brings his face close to your cunt, gripping your thighs and massaging them to keep them open. He gives a single experimental swipe of his tongue across your folds and watches you shiver at the jolt of pleasure. Not wasting anymore time, he dives right in and starts licking and sucking, tongue fucking you and moaning at how good you taste, the vibrations making you clench around his tongue. He rubs your clit in tune with his eating, a mixture of your juices and drool trickles down his mouth. But hey, it’s not a proper pussy eating session if his face isn’t drenched.
He laps at your cunt as if he’s been starving, humming and curling his tongue inside you. You buck your hips and grip his hair in an attempt to ground yourself, curses and moans flying from your mouth. He’s dizzy from the lack of oxygen but Toji doesn’t need it as long as he fulfills his role and gets paid. It’s not long before you’re cumming again, gushy into his mouth. Toji takes all of it, looking up at you and proves that he drank all of your cum, not wasting a single drop. Still reeling from your orgasm, you reach down and cup his cheek, wiping away the juices that soaked his mouth with your thumb. You smiled down at him, it was warm but condescending at the same time, as if he wasn’t on the same level as you, that you were above him and doing him a favor by letting him do this.
You haven’t talked to him this entire time, the only noise being your moans of delight. You can be really selfish sometimes and Toji can respect that, after all, this whole ordeal is fueled by your narcissism. You noticed his erection poking through his pants, sticking out like a sore thumb. You nudge it with your foot, giving it a slight rub through the clothes and smile when Toji groans and a tiny wet spot of precum seeps through. Not waiting for your command, he pulls down his pants and boxers, his cock springing out and hitting his stomach. Your mouth watered at the sight, his cock never failing to mesmerize you with its pretty, angry red color at the tip and the way his veins bulge in need and excitement, the way he leaks precum and it sticks to his abdomen. “See what you do to me, princess?”
A pretty sight indeed. You think he deserves to quickly relieve himself, after all how could you deny him such pleasure? He's hot and obedient with a damn good dick between his legs. “Touch yourself,” you ordered, staring at him through hooded eyes and an entranced look, eager to see him come undone by his hand. Per your command, Toji wrapped his hand around his length, the touch resulting in more precum dripping from his tip, leaking to the floor in a erotic image. You heard him take in a shaky breath and his face was red. He stroked his cock slowly at first before picking up speed and his grip tightened. Images of you from before flash through his mind, falling apart under his tongue, your moans becoming heavier and breathier as you approach your climax, back arching in pleasure and gripping his hair while you buck your hips into his mouth.
His chest rose and his breathing was labored with every twitch of his cock and pump of his hand. He was close, he could feel it. Sweat formed on his forehead as he reached his peaked, “fuck I’m gonna cum, gonna cum just from looking at you…” he moaned and felt his orgasm rip through his body. His seed shoots out and lands on your leg and foot. His hand was sticky and his heart was beating out of his chest. “Oh no,” your voice broke him out of his stupor and he looked up at you, wondering what was wrong. You motioned with your leg and it’s only now he noticed the mess he made on your leg. “You made a mess, you should clean it,” you offered your foot to him.
Toji took your foot in his hands and placed a kiss on it, “I’m sorry, my lady, I got so excited I got you dirty. Please forgive me,” he said, licking at a strip of his semen while looking up at you. Fuck he is so hot, you screamed internally and your cunt throbbed in arousal. He continued to lick up and around your leg where his cum got on you, when he was done he looked back at you with an expectant expression, waiting for your praise. You ran a hand through his hair, petting him with a smirk. “Beg me, tell me why I should let you fuck me.”
“Please,” he murmurs, his voice small. “Please let me fuck you. Let me touch and honor every square inch of you with my body and hands. Let me worship you like the god you are to my full ability.” He pleaded, the words rolling off his tongue like he’s practiced them a hundred times before. You get flustered at his begging, silently nodding at his pleas and giving him permission. Toji notices your flushed expression and smirks, amused at the effect he has on you. "please? aww, thank you, princess. Does it turn you on knowing that you have so much power over me, that I beg to sleep with you? Don’t worry, I promise I'II make sure every inch of you is as loved and appreciated as it should be."
He stood up from his kneeling position and grabbed your waist before hoisting you in the air, into his arms. You yelped and instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist and held his shoulders for support. You weren’t in the air for long and Toji sat on the couch in your previous spot. You sat on top of him, your legs on either side. His cock was hard again and it rubbed against your clit, making you more and more impatient for him to properly fuck you. He moved you forward a bit and raised your hips so he could line your entrance with his tip, even though he took time to prep you before, it was still an endeavor to fully take his length. For Toji, it was the best part, seeing you come undone just from inserting him into you, there’s nothing more satisfying than the moan you let out when the tips in. His cock stretched you out and filled in all the right areas, making you pant and whine from the fullness.
Toji kissed your tears, “you’re doing so well, princess. Always handled me so well, so strong and resilient.” He praised and encouraged, grunting as you sunk further down his cock. His hands grip your waist, pushing his cock in deeper when you give up on doing it yourself. Repeating thank you between his moans, and he mumbles about how lucky he feels giving you his submission and love. It’s a mantra you’ve heard before and it never fails to go to your head, “Good God… look at you, princess. You’re doing such a good job.” Your moans turn to whimpers when he bottoms out and you sit on his pelvis. You can’t help but close your eyes, laying your head on his chest as you were overcome with the sensation of being so full, his cock never failing to pleasure you just from the size alone. You move your hips in slow languid circles, his pelvis teasing and rubbing against your clit.
You gasp when he lifts you up, almost pulling out with only his tip still inside, before bringing you down and slamming back into your cunt. A loud moan exits your lips and you throw your head back from the static of pleasure that shoots through your body. You grip his biceps in an attempt to ground yourself, your manicured nails dug into his skin and leave long scratches. He brutally thrusts into you, nestling his cock inside your slick walls while keeping his glossy eyes trained on yours. The sheer tightness of his grip on your waist was sure to leave bruises in the morning but he was the last person to care.
“You’re so divine,” he groans, blinded by the blissful sensation of your gushing cunt squeezing him, the devotion of being your loyal toy, your pet, your servant. “God truly made you in his image, you’re the most gorgeous and godlike woman I’ve ever met.” He cooed in your ear, repressing a whimper when he felt your cunt squeeze around him again at his words. He knew if you heard that, then you’d go on a rampage to rip more and more out of him.
Mindless words of praise, calling you pretty and how well you take his cock, and hearing the wet sounds of him squelching up into you. His sweet moans and grunts as he loses control of his hips because it feels so good, you can also hear yourself gasping and whimpering from the euphoric stimulations. Everything was so erotic and shameful, the last thing to be considered divine but you didn’t care, not when you were having the ride of your life and being showered with endless words of love.
He kissed at your neck, “can you say my name for me, princess? I wanna hear my name from your lovely mouth,” he asked and you were happy to oblige. “T-ngh…Toji,” you said softly at first, as if testing out the name. “Toji!” You called louder when he gave a particularly brutal thrust and nearly knocked the air out of you. “So close, princess, ‘pretty body makin’ me lose control,” he grunted, his grip on your waist was shy of hurting. He knows he’s close, the sound of his name being yelled out from pleasure sounded like honey to his ears, bringing him closer to the edge. “‘M cumming, princess, cumming from your amazing pussy. Can you cum for me, princess? Wanna feel you cum on my cock.” He requested, leaning up and capturing your lips in a sloppy kiss, shoving his tongue down your throat and you moaned into the kiss.
You were forced to part when he rubbed your clit with his thumb in frantic circles, stimulating the sensitive bud to bring you closer to your orgasm. You whimpered and whined under the overstimulating touch, holding his wrist to try and move his hand but he didn’t let up. “C’mon, princess, cum for me,” and as if on cue, the knot that had been building in your stomach popped and your orgasm came crashing down on you. Your cunt clenches Toji’s cock and your mouth flies open in a silent scream, thick and clear cum gushing on his cock. Toji groans loudly and can’t help but finish at the sight of you, drool dripping down your chin from his messy kiss and a dazed look in your eyes, off in your own world from the high. The image was nothing short of beautiful and you had every right to be as bratty and self-centered as you are.
Hot semen shoots out of his cock, filling you to the brim and some of it flowing out from how full you are. Toji groans while gritting his teeth, bowing his head in the crook of your neck, lazily continuing to rut his hips into you and ride out your highs. You both were panting, enjoying the embrace of one another while coming back to reality. He noticed your breathing turn shallow and your eyelids that threatened to close at any time, a result of their exhausting activities. You bit back a whine when he pulled out, feeling empty without his cock nestled inside you and cum dripping down your thighs. He stood up from the couch, picking you up with him and holding you in his muscular arms, one of them positioned under your ass to hold you up. “You did so good for me, but don’t fall asleep yet ok? We need to clean you up.”
Toji wasn’t usually this caring, used to ditching the woman after he got his nut and never talking or seeing them again. But not with you, he had to follow through all the way or you’ll throw a hissy fit in the morning and take away money as punishment, and he can’t have that. It was a blur of mundane but necessary tasks, like making you use the toilet and then bathing you, all while you constantly nod off. Before you know it, you're dressed in a fresh pair of pajamas and curling up in bed with Toji close behind. He held you in his arms and your teeth scraped at his shoulder blades, sleepily stamping your gratitude across the expanse of his chest with your lips.
You knew you picked right when you chose Toji to be the one to sit at your feet, to praise your very existence and nuzzle against your thighs as if you’re a divine being meant to be worshiped. Toji knew he made the right decision when he heard the familiar ding of his bank account notification, knowing that kneeling at your feet was the best job he ever took.
#[𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪] addict#black y/n#black reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu sorcerer#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x poc!reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen toji#jjk toji#jujutsu toji#jjk fushiguro#toji fushiguro#toji zenin#jujutsu kaisen fushiguro#fushiguro x reader#toji#toji smut#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji#toji x black reader#toji x black y/n
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captivated habits ii | 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
prompt; Your unrequited love for Peter turns unhinged.
warnings: mentions of violence, blood, angst, stalking, bpd, self-harm (both mentioned and done), mentions of kidnapping (doesn't actually happen lol), manipulation done by reader
word count: 3.8k
part one part three
The way your mind worked, it scared you to some extend. You really had no idea why or how you thought the way you did. It wasn't like your parents were bad people, they were decent at their parenting skills. Unfortunately for them, you were raised in a different world, where whatever they told you not to do, you'd do the exact opposite of that.
In grade school, they'd have assemblies about mental health, how to not do drugs, really stressing those lessons you have to learn almost every year. It was a sickening thing you went through. You never paid any attention anyhow.
When it came to your mental stability, before you met Peter, you had a suspicion that something was wrong with you, but it wasn't well prominent until you met Peter.
He changed your life for the good, even if it was a one sided appreciation. That's when you knew, as soon as you started paying just a little more attention to detail, you were a goner. It didn't quite click with you why Peter made you obsessively insane. Were you even insane for loving someone such as him?
Now, things were different. Not drastically different, but he knew of your stalking habits. Thankfully, he had no idea of your other activities, which would scare him away forever. You didn't want that.
You had a plan, a completely, diabolical, and potential jail time plan.
If Peter could ever forgive and forget about you stalking him, he had to learn to understand that the only way for you two to be together is to have friends who wouldn't get in the way of your love.
Michelle Jones was your everest. She was the reason why you and Peter had a delayed relationship development. Her and her observing personality ruined any potential friendship, soon to be lovers with him. You wanted her to understand just how upset you were with her big ass mouth. She's the quiet type, but when it comes to her friends and people watching, you knew if it was important, the girl would voice things she'd learn to her friends. You knew that's exactly what she did with Peter.
After your abrupt dismissal from lunch, you avoided Peter and his friends until your plan was well thought out. You had to make yourself the victim if it meant getting rid of Michelle.
Even if the trio didn't know you knew they were aware of you being a stalker, or as you like to tell yourself, making sure Peter is okay, you had made it your life's mission to weasel your way into the friendship. It may be an awkward, and probably not the smartest approach, but you were ruining out of options and you desperately needed Peter to see you as the good guy.
Your mother isn't the brightest of people, you had learned that a few years ago when you were going through this deep depression that had you addicted to self-harm. It took maybe a few weeks for her to learn about your dependency and she took you to rehab, even hid the knives or anything sharp after your time spent in the centre.
Obviously, you had relapsed, and found a loophole to continue with your addiction, but after many insufferable months of harming yourself, you had once again found yourself back in rehab, and this time you did not relapse. It was a miracle for your parents, but for extra precaution, they made sure to hide sharp objects from you very well, and kept an eye on you 24/7.
It had been awhile since you self-harmed, you were healing from your depression, slowly but surely. This time around though, it had nothing to do with you being depressed. Maybe it did, but you summed it up to being about your plan, not your mental health.
The knife you had in your hand was for cutting vegetables, and with how big it was, you were sure the sharpness would make a very large scar, something you didn't really want, but you had no choice.
Thankfully, your parents were on an annual date they had every Friday night, and it gave you the opportunity to do exactly what you needed to do without them worrying for your health. It was this annoyingly clingy thing they did whenever you had something sharp in your hold, and god forbids you "accidentally" cut yourself.
You examine the knife carefully in your hold, analyzing the blade, silently asking yourself if you dare to do this, would you fall back into your old habits you fought so desperately to stop yourself from doing.
It wasn't like you had planned to cascade into the pleasure of self-harm, not like before. You had to remind yourself this was strictly for your masterminded plan, a plan that took heedful thinking and you'd be damned if your mental state got in the way of that.
With one swift motion, you slit the blade across your wrist, hissing at the unbearable pain, something you were accustomed to, but given the fact it has indeed been awhile, you watch the moderate amount of blood trickle down your arm in awe.
You grimace, the pain stinging in the worst way. The cut had been bigger than you imagined.
Examining it one last time, you settle for the results and make your way to your bathroom to clean up the blood.
Flickering the light switch on, you close the bathroom door, holding your arm, red bleeding through your fingertips, and you hurriedly hover it over the washroom sink, grabbing a nearby washcloth. You reach down into the cabinet below the sink, pawing for the alcohol you knew your mother kept for reasons, such as this.
After another few seconds, you feel the familiar bottle, pulling it from its hiding spot and placing it on the counter as you turn the water on.
Letting go of your bloody wrist, your hand covered in the red liquid, you dab a few drops of alcohol onto the washcloth, slowly cleaning the blood of your wrist, winching at the agony.
You remove the washcloth when you finish cleaning your wound, running warm water over it, watching the blood mix with the water, running down the drain.
Turning off the water, you throw the washcloth into the sink, forcing your gaze away from the cut on your wrist and into the mirror in front of you.
It was a really fucked up thing you were doing. You knew that whatever happened moving forward would ruin your future, not just with Peter, but for yourself.
You were under the impression that no matter what, this was for you and Peter. It was the right thing to do, and it didn't matter what happened to you, as long as you found your way back to the boy you loved.
-
"You can't be serious." Michelle groaned, her eyes narrowing at the boy in-front of her.
"I'm so serious." Peter argued.
"Peter, you barely know anything about her," Michelle points out, to which Peter only rolls his eyes at her.
It was hard to understand that Peter, her somewhat best friend, if he's lucky enough to even have her call him that, had a crush on you, of all people.
You were quiet, and barely talked to anyone unless it was Cindy Moon, or unless you were spoken to. The girl couldn't recall a time where you willingly talked to anyone.
When Peter had told Michelle about his harbouring feelings for you, of course the girl was skeptical, not knowing anything about you, only that you were quiet and very watchful of Peter. That alone sparked an interesting suspicion for Michelle.
Naturally, the girl is a very observant person, a people watcher to most. And with Peter being one of her only friends, she wanted to make sure any girl he ever had a crush on didn't end up with another villainous parent, or were secretly a villain themselves. Ultimately, you were not a villain, and it was safe to say you had no parents who were planning world domination.
What Michelle did manage to find out was that you were a stalker. A very scary stalker, something she accidentally found out when her dad picked up from school one day. It was when she saw Peter meters ahead of you, and you were doing something she's seen in enough movies and TV shows to know that you were either following the boy home or, well, there was nothing else she could really think of.
At first, she didn't want to believe it, considering her friend had a deep affection for you, but with more observation she found out something very disturbing about you. It was almost a miracle that you two were on the Decathlon team and when Michelle forced herself to human interaction, she learned from Cindy that you had a "small" crush on Peter, and that the girl also knew your locker combination because apparently Cindy was the only person you trusted with that valuable information.
Michelle had to think strategically when she had asked the girl for it, hoping she would give in and tell her, and thankfully Cindy is a very kind and albeit, accommodating person, granting the girl with the important detail.
When school was over and Michelle was sure you were no where near your locker, she waited a few good minutes, cautiously approaching it when the coast was clear.
What she discovered was frightening,
You had maybe a few normal school objects cluttered inside your locker, which wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but when she clambered around the textbooks and notebooks, a few photos inside one of the notebooks scattered to the ground. Michelle was quick to pick up the pictures, and when she further examined, it certainly didn't take a rocket scientist to know who the photos were of.
It only proved that if anything, you were not only a stalker, but obsessed.
She was in shock, too stunned to wrap her head around the information she had found out. Michelle knew that she needed to tell Peter of her discovery.
But the boy would probably not even listen to her pleads. Most likely tell her off for the invasion of privacy, which she did understand, but this was urgent, and she didn't know what you were capable of. She didn't know if you had a plan to kidnap the poor boy, never letting him be able to see the light of day again because of how obsessed over him you were. Even if that wasn't your exact plan, she wouldn't put it past you to not do.
After her discovery, Michelle decides to keep it to herself, opting to watch you like a hawk, and she figures its better to not stand in the way of you or Peter, hoping the boy came to his senses and realize just how unnatural your personality was.
Weeks went by and nothing out of the ordinary had happened, until one day Peter tells both Ned and Michelle of his delirious plan to ask you to sit with them at lunch so the boy could get to know you more, and the girl rolls her eyes at his extend.
In the end, it did work out for him, and what made things really weird for Michelle was when you came up to her in math one day, which made her heart skip a beat, fearing you had found out about her invading your privacy.
Thankfully, you had no idea about it, and instead you tried to strike up conversation, telling Michelle about how Peter invited you to sit with them at lunch, and the girl tried to ignore the gleaming sparkle in your eyes when you mentioned his name.
She did entertain you, and it made her a bit happy to know you were very paranoid of anyone finding out about your stalking habits.
When lunch had rolled around, the girl decides to keep her distance for a short amount of time, letting Peter do what it was he needed to do, and when she approached the table, something in the air shifted.
Michelle had not known what it was, but she watched as you quickly gathered everything you had and leave the table in complete fear.
The girl chalked it up to the idea of Peter saying something out of character, which he declined, and it was still a wonder to Michelle to what exactly made you hurriedly leave the lunch table.
"I think she's intimated by MJ." Ned speaks up from next to his best friend, only cowering when the girl shoots him daggers.
"What makes you say that?" Peter wonders.
"Well, maybe she thinks MJ likes you." Ned shrugs, the sentence making both of his friends snort.
"That's funny."
"As if."
Michelle fought hard to make sure anything like that wasn't thought upon or entertained by anyone.
It wasn't like Peter was ugly, but they differ a lot on the personality scale. Some people were mildly confused on how the three of them managed to be friends, but ultimately they did complete each-other in a way that was comforting.
Peter sighs, "I just don't understand what happened.."
Ned frowns, giving his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and Michelle watches the boy carefully, almost feeling bad for his failure of a love life. It was no secret the boy had bad luck when it came to girls.
"I mean, from what I know Y/N does like to be alone, so maybe it scared her being around people for more than two minutes." Michelle tries to reason, though she couldn't figure if that was a half true or a complete lie.
"But she was laughing at our jokes, and engaging in conversation, so I just-" Peter cuts himself mid sentence, his eyes turning a shade brighter when something catches his attention behind Michelle.
She turns arounds, her gaze meeting your figure and you looked tired, she noticed that you were wearing a long sleeve shirt, ditching your usual jacket that you normally would wear with everything.
The girl turns back around, seeing Peter's face itch into a smile.
You had purposely made yourself late to the decathlon meeting, staying up until your eyes were visibly red and the under bags were certainly noticeable from far away.
As if on instinct, you scan the room for the boy who stole your heart, immediately finding his face and witness how he quickly looks away from your gaze, and your heart drops to your stomach at the action.
You had no one to blame but the girl sitting across from him, blazing your eyes into the back of her head.
A hand grips your injured wrist and you wince, breaking your gaze away from Michelle onto a frantic Cindy Moon.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're okay, thought you weren't gonna show up." She countered, letting go of your wrist, unaware of the pain shooting through your arm.
You show the girl a small smile, flickering your eyes behind her, noticing three eyes on you, which doesn't help with your anxiety.
You had to quickly put your plan in motion.
Taking a hold of Cindy's arm, you drag her a bit closer to the three of them, where you knew you two would be in earshot with what you were about to say.
"Hey, Cid, can I tell you something really quick?" You ask in faux nervousness, and the girl quickly nods, squeezing your hand in reassurance.
"Of course."
You smile, taking a deep breath, closing your eyes in preparation of what you were about to say.
Cindy instinctively takes ahold of both your wrists, and you wince in pain at the unplanned action, but you figured it could only be in your favour.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" She asks, letting go of your wrists to examine your state.
You nod hesitantly, rubbing your arm as you watch Cindy's worried expression, having to fight back a smile at the girl.
"I just, I'm having a hard time." You mumble, your eyes meeting the floor.
Since you could consider Cindy one of your only friends, you told the girl about your past depression, including the well known fact of your addiction to self-harm, and like your parents, the girl made sure you wouldn't relapse into that state again.
She was excited to know that you had sobered up, and made it your goal to fight away the thoughts of ever thinking of doing anything like it again, she was with you every step of the way.
If you weren't so fucked up, you'd be thankful for the girl.
"Did you-" Cindy stutters out, trying to piece together your vague words.
"Did you, um, relapse," The question was uncertain, and you steal another glance at the table behind the girl, noticing Peter's curious stare, and you nod as you look back at the girl, holding yourself to sell your act.
Cindy's eyes are wide and she scans your entire body, probably trying to figure out where exactly had you harmed yourself, and its when she does notice your red eyes and under bags.
"My goodness, you look exhausted. Do you want to go to the nurse?" She places a reassuring hand on your shoulder and you quickly shake your head, feeling the tears well up in your eyes.
You unwrap your hands from yourself, using one of your hands to pull up the long sleeve you wore, showing the girl the very large scar on your wrist, and Cindy gasps in disbelief, her audible action catching the attention of the table behind you.
You shyly look up at the girl, watching her intently gape at the wound, the tears now falling down your face in fear of what would happen next.
"I'm sorry, I know this is bad, but I-, it just got too much for me." You choke, pouting when Cindy shows you a pitiful look.
"No, no, I'm glad you had the courage to not only tell me, but show me. I know it's hard for you to do this sort of thing." You wanted to laugh and roll your eyes at her words, but your breath is caught in your throat when you see Peter, and his no good friends come up behind Cindy.
"Hey, um, is everything okay?" Peter questions cautiously, no doubt seeing your sad state, worry as clear as day in his eyes.
Cindy shoves your sleeve back down your arm, turning to a worried Peter, and you wonder if this had something to do with being in your presence, or if the boy was genuinely worried. Had it be the latter, you'd thank him by either kissing every square inch of his charming face, or offered to fall on your knees for him.
You wipe the tears from your face, avoiding eye contact with the boy and his friends, and you suspect Michelle's gaze remained on you.
"It's-," Cindy looks back to you, a silent question etched on her face.
You nod, meeting Peter's gaze.
Peter watches you with fear, not because he was scared of you, but it was a terrifying speculation that ran laps inside his head that you were in some sort of danger. Granted, he knew little about you, but it was safe to admit that he did like you, a lot.
The rational thing to do was make sure that no one was willingly hurting you mentally or physically, and had that been the case, Peter would do everything he could to make you feel better.
"I slit my wrist." You blurt out, your gaze drift to Michelle's, and for the first time in forever, you weren't focused on Peter's reaction.
From the corner of your eye, you can clearly see Peter's face fall in disbelief, and though Michelle doesn't show any sort of shocked expression (much to your disappointment), you can see that her eyes held a sorrowful meaning.
The silence was loud, and thank god not everyone paid attention to your confession, only the people you wanted to know had heard you.
Peter's mouth open and close, completely at a lost for words for your brave confession.
Ned sort of just gapes at you, his mouth hung wide open, and if you weren't acting, you'd laugh at his expression.
Michelle on the other hand, holds her gaze deeply, not knowing what to say or think really. She felt this oncoming guilt that she knew she shouldn't have considering you aren't necessarily a good person, but this confession ate her alive.
No matter what though, it was a sad thing, and probably very hard to come clean to. It was probably one of the reasons why you so eagerly left the table that day, and now she had this urge to help you, despite knowing you weren't mentally stable, but now she was well aware of this issue.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry I-" Peter starts, his frowns and the look alone makes your heart ache. His empathy certainly wasn't needed, and you know that deep down you're doing this for him.
You wanted to let him see that all that you were doing, or planning to do was all for him.
What good does it do if trying to prove your love for him only brings misery for the boy?
The only way you can be one hundred percent sure Peter would ever fully devote to you the way you already devoted yourself to him, was to kill for his love.
Kill those who dare step in your way of accomplishing that. Starting with the one who made sure you wouldn't.
"Hey, Michelle?" You sniffle, shying your gaze away from the girl.
"Yeah?"
"I know that you're in a mental health awareness program," You start, meeting her gaze as she nods for you to continue. "Was just wondering if you could help me with that?" You question.
Michelle shares a look with her friends, Cindy only steps closer to you.
There's a long, dreadful silence, and you grow mildly impatience, but you try not to let that trait show and you watch Peter glance your way before Michelle shrugs with a shaky sigh.
"Yeah, sure." She forces a fake smile.
You reciprocate it.
"Thank you."
Michelle nods and forces her gaze away from Peter who thanks her silently with a smile. She knew she would never hear the end of this from him, the boy telling her how much it meant to him that she was willing to help you out with your mental health.
She wondered if Peter would now ever find the confidence to talk to you, hoping in some way if he ever wanted to be with you, he'd at least try to help you out without Michelle having to do all the work.
Of course Peter plans to talk to you about this newly found information, but he doesn't know how to go about it. He wants to let you know he's here for you even if you wouldn't fully understand how much he means it.
You on the other hand, all you could think about is just how good it would feel to finally have Peter just to yourself.
You couldn't wait until Michelle's blood was on your hands. That alone brings a real smile to your face.
tags
@clairebearfr @tomhollandsslut @betzabobababi
#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#peter parker angst#dark!reader x peter parker
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