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cloveroctobers · 4 years ago

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CHELSEA ELLE HODGSON —

IG info/Bio: @/chelseaaahodecor | 109k followers | hi babes! welcome to my life lovelies, please get comfy with this Prosecco im serving thru this screen! xx here’s my site if you need some light in ur life: ichelseahdgsondesigns.com 🏝💕

24 (25) years

From Buckinghamshire, England

Comes from a wealthy family

her father’s side of the family founded, “Hodgson investments” their company is built off of financial services

Her papo (grandfather) was arrested on tax invasion & served some time for doing so

Her father, Alistair now manages the company but under a different name

Her mother’s side of the family comes from old money...something about horses?

Her mother, Connie holds many events and seems to make $ from them but Chelsea isn’t quite sure what the woman does or if it’s fully legal

The family is all about protecting their image & if you don’t cut it, there will be repercussions

Feels a little like dynasty (I’ve only seen 2-3 episodes & never finished but get the point?) , maybe that’s why Chelsea & her sister enjoy watching it so much

Parents forsure held courtship events or either went to courtship events with their children (even Albie) & found suitors in hopes of marrying their daughters off (& finding Albie a new wife, only on Mrs. Hodgson’s part— mr. Hodgson seems nicer/easy-going)

Has older twin sibs: Albie-Crispin & Dolly-Georgiana

Often referred to as “the triplet” in the press

Well-known in their city

They’re all called by their first & middle name in their family household even tho their parents do not have middle names

Has a love/hate relationship with albie, he is selfish & has proven to do anything to drag others down to make himself look better

He’s a lawyer & has been married to his wife for about 7 years

Mrs. Hodgson, Dolly, & Chelsea all agree they do not like her but Chelsea puts on a smile whenever her sister-in-law is around while Mrs. Hodgson makes it known that she dislikes the woman, she thinks she’s beneath her son since her family does not make nearly enough $ put together between her & Mr. Hodgson

Dolly has a bf who’s a dental hygentist that she’s been dating for about 3 years but they’re both cheating on each other, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be married

She’s in office management

Chelsea fell in love with interior decorating from the moment she played with doll houses. Her grandparents made sure to send her the biggest doll houses they could find every Christmas. She’s always been in love with rearranging and picking certain items and best putting them into a space that works

She shit at drawing (she’ll leave that to the Architects) but she knows her furniture & patterns quite well

Has asked a few architects out on dates, some she worked with or stumbled across, only one seemed like it could have truly worked...I imagine him to look a bit like Henry Cavill with light facial hair (told you I’m a sucker for it, & Chelsea probably can tolerate just a bit not too much)

Yet Chelsea always has a wondering eye, she gets curious quite often which makes you wonder, is she really ready for love? To fully commit? One day she will be

It’s a competitive field and when she’s ready to battle she will but there are moments when she gets let down & has to pick herself up again

Has ADHD, goes to therapy for it & hates taking her meds. She’d rather stick to therapy sessions since it’s always nice to talk to someone

When she was younger she probably stole a friend or two’s bf & would definitely get mad if they did it back to her but they somehow still end up being friends in the end? Yikes

Hung out with the popular kids, was always at the parties making sure everyone was having a good time. Filling up the cups, directing where furniture should be moved, where the kegs should go, how many people should be there, etc...She doesn’t seem like the stuck up type like her mother but she is privileged & doesn’t realize it as much

Was a cheerleader & ran track, quit track to commit full-time to cheerleading since that kept her in shape enough

Dated here & there, had one bf where they would scream at each other and wouldn’t allow the other to leave or would be upset that the other didn’t come after them...yeah one of those couples

Broke up with her goth bf because he didn’t tell her he wasn’t coming to school for about a week; he had the stomach flu

Canon: Took a computer course in high school & in uni & found out she was at the top of her class for typing the fastest, she now loves the sound of her short pink ombré nails on the keys

Canon: Wanted to be a show jumper due to her mother’s side of the family & their history with horses

Goes to the stables every now & then, there’s one horse there that she’s absolutely in love with & loves to ride. Her father always offered to buy it for her but it’s not a animal she wants to own

Canon: loves finger foods + will get full off them at events quickly. She also doesn’t mind the tiny portions of food at expensive ass restaurants, it’s just enough for her

Takes hair supplements. Probably had long hair growing up that she always kept up in a bun or ponytail but decided to start chopping her hair off & getting layers & highlights which damaged her hair

Approves of plastic surgery

Is part of the itty bitty titty community & got a lift for them

Gets lip fillers for her bottom lip but isn’t a fan of needles + overlines her top lip

loves going to the dermatologist, the spa for facials & whatever else she’s willing to try & finding new skincare to buy

Tans & loves tropical hot summers

Buys an overload of bikinis even in the winter

Hates the rain, it messes with her mood

Loves a good lipstick & lipgloss combo, nudes & pinks are her to go to’s

Fav color is pink

Got herself a guinea pig after the show & named her “bubbly” after her baby in the villa

I feel like she would eventually get a tiny dog too

Has her own flat, that’s quite far from all of her family. She loves her dysfunctional problematic family but Chelsea likes her space from them too

Since buckinghamshire’s culture is more of a Middle Ages style, Chelsea made sure her home wouldn’t hold much of that style inside. It needed to be lively! Her family home was filled with dark wood & she can’t stand that

She loves going to the markets tho. She always seems to leave with something & either finds herself not liking it months later and ends up selling whatever item caught her interest

Her family tends to pop in whenever they want, especially her mother

Canon: talks about cat cafe’s when she’s drunk, says its her version of the chocolate factory + she’s the dancing drunk

Always down for a girls night out, girls trip & girls sleepovers

Probably goes to bed early around 10pm or earlier m if she’s not out having the time of her life, which makes her regret her choices the next morning

All her closest friends back home are a group of girls

Hangs out with Priya, Marisol, & Hope from the villa whereas the rest she’ll mostly communicate with them through socials or gatherings

Will host gatherings & expect them ALL to show up

Is dramatic when things don’t go her way

Loses focus more than gets bored in relationships? She’ll find other things or people to occupy her time which she doesn’t realize can be hurtful to others

When she does realize she hurts someone, she immediately wants to fix it

Canon: Is a blabbermouth. Cannot hold a secret for shit, also cannot tell a lie. Her body language gives it away first if she doesn’t spill it

Retail therapy is the best therapy if she doesn’t have a office appointment

Any spice girl song will be her karaoke song, she is always baby spice

Loves her Prosecco (me too sis!) & keeps plenty bottles in her wine fridge. She originally wanted a space with a wine cellar but got creeped out at the thought since it’s just her & bubbly living in the home

Has high cell phone bills, the girl loves a good chat

Cannot cook no matter how hard she tries. She’s been to cooking classes with an ex, watched videos, order from those food delivery sites to prepare food & it just never turns out well

Will spend hours in furniture stores, she’s had to be escorted out pass closing hours by security guards before & manage to make friends out of them. They all know who she is in majority of the stores she enters

Throws a party every time her following goes up. There’s never not a reason to throw one

Was upset that Carl unfollowed her once and figured Hannah made him do it. Which wasn’t true, Hannah was sure of herself now & doesn’t feel the need to be jealous, the man could follow whoever he wanted—she knew he barely stayed on IG in the first place. He thought it was too shallow

So when Chelsea called him one night sobbing he was utterly confused, he didn’t understand why a follow meant so much

He reluctantly followed her back

Thrilled to know Elijah, Lucas, & Carl all keep up with her. Oh & the rest of the boys ofc!

Chats with Jakub! They also hang out. They’re a bit of a odd pairing but they get along well, he’s basically another big brother to her but she actually likes him—

Afraid of the dark, keeps fairy lights lit throughout the night in her bedroom, keeps scent infused night lights in her hallways

Believes in feng shui

I feel like her voice is soft like jennifer Tilly’s?

Idk what her sun sign is? Is she a sag far as daydreaming cause she does that. I KNOW she has Leo in her chart, she’s dramatic, warm, likes to be admired & appreciated. Sun sign I need help? Maybe she’s a Sagittarius sun? + Leo moon + libra rising

Has a collection of celeb gossip magazines that she keeps on a stand next to her pink velvet chair beside her bow window

I think she will be the first islander that gets pregnant tbh & it’s by an architect (the guy I mentioned/envisioned that’s been waiting on her to realize he can give her the love she needs or prove he can balance her out) or firefighter or someone “manly” she wouldn’t end up with a islander I don’t think

she has a girl & names her, “adore”

Canon: Still wants 5 kids but we’ll see how that goes & if it’ll change, it’s been a bit difficult not drinking Prosecco but she’s got a lovely baby out of it

Crushes? Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfred Enoch, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Cole, Gregg Sulkin, Frank Dillane, Charlie Rowe, & Hero Fiennes Tiffin

Can listen to anything that’s got a good beat. But we all know she’s a pop & folk genre lover. She listens to: Astrid S, Maty Noyes, Cher Lloyd, Bebe Rexha, Allie X, Poppy, POST MALONE, etc.

Anthem? Gabrielle Aplin — Until the sun comes up

#litg #litg2 #litg s2 #litg Chelsea #litg carl #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #litg au #50/50 like Chelsea lol #she’s sweet but there’s things that she’s done that makes me side eye her #wouldn’t keep her around my man if she’s single tbh lmao #litg3 #litg s3

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femmcfatales-a · 3 years ago

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theodora ‘theo’ burke

( cis woman | she/her | danielle rose russell ) —— isn’t that theodora ‘theo’ burke? yeah that is them, outside the three broomsticks! they used to be in slytherin but apparently they now work as an apprentice in print media for the daily prophet. sybill once said that they reminded her of baring teeth when backed into a corner, lipstick kisses on dinner napkins, glitter on the floor after a party, cherry suckers and heart shaped glasses, the mark of a ruby lip on a cigarette butt, and a one way ticket cause you can’t come back which seems about right. anyway i’ve heard they’re still a bit self-assured, vampish, and malicious, they’re twenty now but some things never change! i wonder how being a pureblood is affecting them after school, especially now they’re unmarked with the death eaters? i guess only time will tell…

along the likes of: padmé amidala naberrie (star wars saga), cheryl blossom (riverdale), kathryn merteuil (cruel intentions), gillian owens (practical magic), samantha jones (sex and the city), shaila arnold (they wish they were us/the players table), quinn fabray (glee), jennifer check (jennifer’s body).

bio & stats. pinterest. connections.

#𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐊𝐄 — 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 ⟩ intro .#dawn:intro

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beaboutitpress · 4 years ago

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ALONE AGAIN, by Marie Krueger

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ALONE AGAIN

It’s funny how a moment that is seemingly mundane can stick in your memory, a perfect moment frozen in time like amber; one that might have gone unnoticed by anyone else, crystallized forever. It’s strange what the mind chooses to notice and commit to memory instead of letting it dissipate and release into the ether with the backlog of millions of other mundane moments not considered relevant enough for recall.

It was a warm summer day. I was stuck in traffic at a red light, waiting for the light to change. I always had my window down since the air conditioner in my car didn’t work. All of a sudden, a black convertible classic Karmann Ghia pulled up next to me and came roaring to an abrupt stop. The top was down and the woman inside had long, wind tangled, dark hair, was wearing shades, and smoking a clove cigarette. Her radio was absolutely blasted at full volume playing “Alone Again Or” by The Damned. I’d know the song anywhere. I’d spent countless tormented yet happy hours listening to it in my adolescence. Written and recorded originally by the group Love in 1967 but perfected in 1987 by the gothic punk rock band, The Damned. The sweeping guitar lick, haunted and yearning as the lyrics. Dramatic string sections and mariachi overtones full of intrigue.

The music and the unmistakable scent of a clove cigarette took me immediately back to a snowy night as a teenager. I was stepping into the back of a car a friend was driving. We were on our way to see The Damned. I lit my long brown Djarum Special clove cigarette and inhaled as it crackled and sparked and the filter left a taste of sugar on my lips. I licked them as I exhaled and caught my reflection in the mirror. My ankh glinted in the streetlights. I had a short black bob, heavy black eyeshadow around my eyes, and black lipstick. I wore a floor length silver velvet dress with a slit up the side, and buckle boots. As we walked into the theater, we were told we had to watch from the balcony since we were all underage. I was upset and had wanted to stand near the front, but we sullenly did as we were told. The Damned were doing a reunion tour of sorts and had reunited with their original guitarist and founder of the band, Captain Sensible.

I was so excited to see them. I loved their music and had only seen them perform on reruns of The Young Ones. This was before youtube, and videos of performances weren’t as easy to find then. Dave Vanian came out in a suit with his hair slicked back like a vampire. The show was great and after a few costume changes and in between songs, Captain Sensible peeled a banana on stage and said, “My ass is hungry, does anyone want to feed it?” He then reached up the dress he was wearing, stuck the banana in between his bare ass cheeks and then threw all the crumbled pieces out into the crowd. Some people threw it back at him as they launched into their next song. I remember thinking in that moment it may not have been so bad to be up in the balcony.

“Yeah I heard a funny thing, somebody said to me that you could be in love with almost anyone, you think people are the greatest fun” the lyrics drifted over from her car like smoke. I wondered if she had broken someone else’s heart, or if someone had broken hers. Or like many of us, both. The light changed and she drove off down the street and into the future. I remained lost in the moment and was somewhat stunned. I wished dearly that I could know her. I was a little in love with her. And in love with who I used to be and the way life was back then. Every night was an adventure and life was still new and mysterious.

Then I remembered way back before then. To my childhood. Julie, Dad’s girlfriend at the time, picked me up from school in her dark blue classic Karmann Ghia. I remember the distinct smell of the old leather. All the dials inside and how special it seemed like the inside of a boat. She told me she had to stop somewhere and ran inside a house. I waited in the car. In the cup holder there was a bag of steaming hot McDonald’s french fries. I stared at them and wondered if I dared take one. I was starving but I did not have permission and they were not mine. I don’t remember if I took one or not. I just remember vividly the intense desire.

The song ends in F# minor and feels unresolved like a question, as if to say, ‘or’.

Bio: Name / Location / Favorite Sad Song

Marie Krueger / Denver / “Going Through the Veil - Becoming a Swan” by Joanna Brouk

#the damned #be about it zine #be about it press #writing about music #music writing #alone again #Captain Sensible #alone again or

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 4 years ago

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Always Shine

All Chad had to tell me about Always Shine was that it starred Mackenzie Davis, Tabitha from Succession (Caitlin FitzGerald) and that it was kinda gay - as I would expect any thriller about best frenemies to be. SOLD. I cued up Amazon Prime, settled in with a dog on my lap and a song in my heart and pressed play. But I should have known that Chad would sit on a throne of lies, and what I got was NOT what I expected. How so? Well...

Unexpected is not to say bad, just...different. This felt like an excellent first draft of a movie about two friends, one (FitzGerald) much more successful in the cutthroat world of Hollywood than the other (Davis), and how the tension of that power imbalance turns sour on a weekend getaway trip to a remote cabin in the woods. What feels like an inevitable conclusion occurs, and then the movie turns into something else that could have been great, but sort of falls apart at the end.

Some thoughts:

Oof, this initial audition sequence is so good in the sense that it is making my skin crawl. Beth (FitzGerald) is auditioning for a movie and the men in the room keep calling her sweetheart and honey and telling her how extensive the nudity is going to be in the film. It becomes clear as the movie progresses that Beth’s “success” in the industry is based on her willingness to exploit herself in shitty horror flicks that are just tits and butchered female bodies. She gets roles, but she pays a high price for them, and in case we forget that amidst Anna’s (Davis’s) jealousy, we just have to remember this first scene.

Really interesting that Anna in her first scene is filmed the same way as Beth doing her audition. And the whole time I was wondering if Anna was acting, but then it turns out she’s not. We’re immediately set up to compare them at every turn, to wonder what is performance and what is not. It’s a clever device, augmented by director Sophia Takal’s claustrophobically tight framing on each woman’s face throughout these long monologues.

The scene transitions are punctuated with these brief flashes of other scenes and discordant noises, screams. It’s jarring and nerve-jangling and I’m so into whatever this is setting up. See, The Mothman Prophecies, there is a way to do this technique right!

The competition between Beth and Anna does not feel friendly at all; you can feel Anna’s resentment boiling up constantly, and Mackenzie Davis plays it perfectly. She’s working through all this tension in every scene, and there’s so much fury behind her eyes. I’m reminded of the TSwift lyric, “I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try” - the difference between Beth and Anna is effort. And as we’ve all known since middle school, looking like you’re trying too hard is the least cool thing in the world.

Also this lipstick Anna keeps putting on is just the right amount of cheap - it’s flaked onto her teeth in tiny bits when we’re first introduced to her, which is such a perfect little character detail.

Say what you will about the way the plot sort of fizzles in the end, writer Lawrence Michael Levine has an ear for natural, revealing dialogue. Anna and Beth talk to each other the way my best friend and I talk to each other.

This encounter in the bar with this random guy is making me SO uncomfortable. Not only for Beth - I’ve been the friend sitting in silence while my friend flirts with some rando - and for Anna, who is striking out with this guy HARD. And for him to ultimately hit on Anna when Beth goes to the bathroom - ouch. You get the sense it’s always been this way, that things are just handed to Anna because she doesn’t give off the same air of desperation Beth does. Both women play this dynamic perfectly. In terms of character study and fascinating performances, FitzGerald and Davis are acting the hell out of this, and are both a true joy to watch.

Also, I love how complicated the dynamic is, because even though she’s being incredibly intense about it, Beth has a point - Anna is lying at every turn but acting as though she’s completely innocent and helpless in this situation. The resentment isn’t simple jealousy, because Anna is being manipulative here.

After the climax of this confrontation between the two women, there’s now this turn about 2/3 of the way through the movie where Anna is essentially acting like Beth, playing the role of Beth, and it’s fascinating to watch. The way Davis’s body language changes, the way she changes her voice to make it softer, it’s completely transformative.

A big consequence of this film is that it makes me want to go to Big Sur.

ARGH things were going so well and so interestingly, but I Did Not Love the ending. I actually really enjoyed the slow burn tension of the whole thing, but the ending felt completely anticlimactic and flat, and left a really sour taste in my mouth. Almost like a deus ex machina, it’s just like “welp now it’s over k bye” with no real resolution or catharsis or even a sense that our characters learned or changed by the end.

Did I Cry? No, this is more tense than it is upsetting.

Final result - not nearly gay enough. There are scenes where Beth is showering in an open plan shower (no curtain or door) while Anna is talking to her in the bathroom, and it STILL didn’t feel that gay. I’ve seen O Magazine covers more homoerotic than these scenes. So obviously, that’s a bummer, but the dynamic between these two characters is thankfully based on resentment, spite, and years of competition, so it’s still interesting. If you can forgive a flat ending and want to simply watch two women act the fuck out of these characters, Always Shine is worth a shot.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! Link in bio. For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #always shine #always shine review #mackenzie davis #caitlin fitzgerald #sophia takal #movie reviews #film reviews #patreon review

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werevulvi · 5 years ago

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At this point I feel like I'm just floating between two identities. Like what does it really matter what I decide to call myself? Says the desperate and jaded. I feel like I need to juggle my two different perspectives for a while. I will mostly use tumblr for it when I lean more gender critical, and probably use fb instead when I lean more towards trans thinking, until I figure this shit out for sure. Thus, I will keep being a dysphoric woman here on tumblr, and nonbinary on my fb account. That way I can juggle my two conflicting sides without feeling too much pressure to "just make sense already."

To clarify, my views are mainly gender critical, but it wouldn't be wrong to say that I'm still flirting with TRA views on gender, dysphoria and transition. Essentially, bio sex is the only actually scientifically proven and tangible thing about this all. Laws etc should be based on sex. Sexual attraction is based on sex. Then dysphoria is also a real medical condition, like it's an actual distress and I don't think it's solely caused by social factors. There are lots of different types of dysphoria, alright. As for gender, however... I don't believe in it, but... basically I just respect that other people have an inner sense of gender (like that's their interpretation of their feelings) while I'm still highly critical of WHY they have that interpretation. And I can’t fit myself into my old thinking of gender at all anymore. It is completely alien to me. The spell has broken and I cannot cast it again.

As for my dysphoria, basically what I'm dealing with is (a probably very rare kind of) atypical dysphoria. I like some aspects of female on my body, but not all. I like some aspects of male on my body, but not all. I feel like I should look like a hybrid of male and female, and I feel both belonging and disconnect to/from womanhood and manhood. It is a constant push and pull in both directions, uncomfortably kneading me into a serene middle-ground. That middle-ground is not a compromise; it is a very peaceful and harmonic place for me to be. It's where I'm relieved of my dysphoria. I used to avoid it my whole life, until I finally stopped fighting myself. There is tranquility here, at this inbetween, that I didn't know existed. I'm clearly dysphoric, but I am not FtM - I'm FtX. I do not give a single fuck if you think nonbinary is real or not. What I'm telling you now is: this is my dysphoria and it simply is what it is. Then what you wish to call it and what I wish to call it does not matter.

Anyhow. I just wanted to give that little debrief of my dysphoria so that you'd hopefully understand why I'm struggling so much with labels, because it's not so straight-forward. Another thing I very much want to clarify is that labels are means of communication for me - NOT identity. Just like I use the label lesbian to communicate what my sexual orientation is. That has a clear purpose. For the same reason we call ourselves men or women: it has a clear purpose. Then my question to myself, my oh so eternal question, is: what is the best label for me to communicate to others what I am and/or how I wish to be perceived?

Problem 1: What I wish to communicate (that I'm a bio female person who's happily transitioned) is not the same as what I wish to be seen as (person of indeterminate gender.)

I don't know how to feel about that what I'm mostly assumed to be a male who identifies as a woman. Do I feel bad, ashamed or guilty, for looking like a bad stereotype of trans women? Yes. I think I fear that I will come across as mocking trans women, because my looks are deliberate. I feel bad for copying gnc men. My affinity for feminine stuff like lipstick and dresses, and my absolute refusal to let go of those things, makes me feel guilty in a feminist sense. I don't believe that the way I use femininity is harmful for myself, because I've adapted it to fit my needs of comfort as well as my social goals with it. It is not sexual, it is not restraining or hindering. It is not adhering to societal standards of beauty - if anything it's mocking that.

Yes, I am mocking femininity, but I also use it because it makes me feel less naked, and more expressive. I'm always accompanying my femininity with strong masculine features such as deliberately visible facial hair and body hair, etc. My femininity is not my womanhood, but it is a highly important way for me to express my personality, symbolically. I do not want for people to oogle my naked body, or a careless sack of clothing that I've rushed into - I want for them to see my personality, so that they'll get an idea of who I am before talking to me. But despite all that... I still feel guilty for being genuinely feminine. How can I be authentic, if no matter where I turn, I feel guilt, shame, or fear?

Problem 2: As soon as I claim the nonbinary label I miss calling myself a woman, and as soon as I claim myself as a woman, I miss calling myself nonbinary.

Do I have a gender? Yes and no. It depends on how I look at it. Do I need to have a gender? Not really, but it's easier in most aspects of socialising if I do, because of my appearance. Do I want to have a gender? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

I feel like I went into the gender store and bought too many. Now I sit here with a useless pile of trash that cost a fortune. I am terrified to get rid of it. There will be consequences if I do. I've been building up to this moment for almost two years. I am still building up to it. The pile is stinking and I need to take it out to the garbage disposal, but I can't make myself do it. What if I'll need it later? I'm too nostalgic for my own good.

Problem 3: When I don't want to have a gender I'm a proud woman based on my sex, but when I do want a gender, nonbinary feels more right. I can't really make a gender in my brain and then stick to it. I keep picking it up, then tossing it away, then picking it up, then tossing it away, and so on. I want to have the gender cake and eat it at the same time. Sometimes I feel proud to be woman, who takes testosterone and loves her lesbian pussy. But then it gets increasingly uncomfortable and I'd just rather not be anything specific. Then I flip to view myself as a hybrid of man and woman and that feels comfortable and uplifting. Until it doesn't anymore and I miss taking pride in being a woman, and I just don't know what the fuck is up with that.

Perhaps my "identity" is split off from my dysphoria? I dunno what I meant with that thought. Perhaps it came from my lack of social dysphoria. It's just social anxiety over looking weird.

Oh I wish I could try living in a perfect society with no sexism, and see if I'd then always be comfortable with calling myself a woman and freely be this bearded, deep-voiced, charming lady in a gothy dress, wine red lipstick and a pearl necklace, with no need to beat myself up for not being "woman enough." Because I worry that is why I keep reaching for the nonbinary label. Maybe it is out of fear? Maybe the reason I feel good about calling myself nonbinary is rooted in just wanting to be left alone to be a beautifully virilized woman, because I'm never given the chance to be that kinda woman.

It breaks my heart. You know that? You should.

No matter how much testosterone I take and no matter how much I love the effects of it... I am forever female and I love that too. No way in this despicable hell... would I ever want my sex erased. It's profoundly important to me, and such is my transition. I think that is why I stand with one foot in self-loving and the other in the medical result of dysphoria. My body is a cocktail of this and that, a little bit tit for tat, and I revel in its strange combination of exquisite flavours.

I feel like I have transcended the concept of gender, but as a happily transitioned, dysphoric woman, I have a very hard time conveying that to the rest of my little world, and the world at large. What is a woman who is happily transitioned to a goal that falsely mimmics the visual effects of certain intersex and hormonal conditions? Who am I to glorify the visual results of others' suffering? Oh I dunno, but I probably have more respect for them than I do for myself, if that counts as an excuse.

What am I? And how do I move forward in society, as honestly as possible?

What I am... is in the eye of the beholder. Depending on your ideology, you will have a different opinion (boldly assuming that you'd even care at all) but what I think is... there is no one correct answer. Thus, in my desperate search for that one true answer, I cannot win. All I can do is pick whatever makes me the most comfortable, but the only thing that would soothe me is the ultimate truth. (No, that's not it. Keep scrambling.)

I have become a biologist obsessed with finding the truth of God with a microscope. No wonder people are beginning to question my sanity.

("Are you okay?" Uhm no, I don't think so.)

What I need to figure out, is if gender serves me, and if "woman" serves me. But they both do, and I have to make a choice. There I stand, finding that they both serve me, unable to make a choice.

(Somewhere around here, I started going off on a tangent and lost myself in the endless whirls of my heart and mind. So I rolled back the tape, and here I am again. The rest in an over-write.)

How do I see myself? I see myself both as a woman and as nonbinary. Sometimes I need my gender, sometimes I don't. What I am is still the same, but there are many different ways to label me correctly, and THAT is what chafes at me.

Problem 4: I do not want to have a politically charged label. Woman has become a political statement for me, because of my appearance contradicting that statement, and the statement contradicts my dysphoria. It being so politically charged makes me uncomfortable. I wish to just exist as a woman, not declare myself as one. Nonbinary is equally a political statement, of rejecting gender norms which are harmful to everyone. Nonbinary strips the bearer of their sex, and releases the pressure on them to conform. There is the catch. Woman, instead strips the bearer of the freedom to not conform, but releases the pressure of gender. And there I think I've hit the nail on the head. What I wish for... is a label which does not strip me of my sex, nor forces me into conformity to look like my sex. Woman should be that label, but the only way it can ever be... is to put on that armour and fight for it, which I don't want to.

The label woman is too heavy for me, as a male-passing female, to bear in this gender-obsessed world - while nonbinary feels like a betrayal, both to myself and all other women. Nonbinary feels like a happy fantasy, until it shatters upon my realisation that it is not real. Woman feels like the powerful authenticity from the bottom of my chromosomes, until reality hits that it's a very difficult label for me to wear. Then I run away scared into my happy fantasy, but I am tired of continuously shattering and rebuilding myself.

What I want is to fully embrace my womanhood, without running back to the trans community again and again, to cry about how cruel reality is, and please validate my special trans feelings, which of course... the zombies do. I feel like I have Stockholm Syndrome for the trans community. I feel hurt by its sexism and homophobia, which is aimed directly at me as a gender-breaking woman and as a female-exclusive lesbian, yet I keep running back to it, pleading for validation as the utter coward I am! Because I am terrified of being a woman and a lesbian in the real world... while looking like this. I love the way I look, but I am scared and I am ashamed of facing my reflection with pride, as a woman. Because that means something more. It doesn't "just" mean that I'm female, it also means that when I with pride call myself a woman... I am reclaiming the one thing which I ought not to. No one shames a trans man or dysphoric enby for wanting a beard and loving taking testosterone... but the second a "cis" woman does? You know that is different. Cis is a lie, but I am real. I'm a woman, and I love testosterone flowing through my veins. My true beliefs... lie with radfem, and I'm only "making space" for gender in those beliefs to not hurt my loved ones' feelings.

How am I supposed to handle and move beyond this? Will it ever get easier?

Problem 5: It's not the nonbinary bush I have been beating around... it's the radfem bush. I have not been honest about my sense of self, anywhere else than here on tumblr. I do not want a gender label on my feelings. Gender is so harmful and I need to stop being its martyr. Can I accept and respect other people for having genders? Sure, whatever, I don't particularly care what people choose to call their feelings, as long as laws aren't being built around those feelings. But I can't for the life of me stop squirming at the idea of ME having a gender again. It is uncomfortable. Get the fucking parasite off me! Gender has been poisoning me again lately. It was a mistake to look into it again. It has been clouding my vision, because I forgot what truly matters: To look like whichever gender expression I wish, to act out whichever gender role I want, to treat my dysphoria however I see fit for myself, but not to lie about what I am: female=woman.

Problem 6: I am free without gender, but I am also incredibly vulnerable. As if I was completely naked before the whole world. Then even wearing a clown suit feels better in comparison.

Solution: I need to break up with the trans community. That toxic relationship has been going on for way too long now. I don't care if I lose all of my friends over it. I need to break free, and liberate my womanhood, because I have been shackling her. No matter how hard it is. I need to face my fear, guilt and shame. I need to tell myself that it's okay to hurt, but that it will get better. I need to stop reaching for nonbinary whenever I feel scared and ashamed to be a woman. I can cry about how hard it is... but never give up.

My dysphoria does not define me, and I refuse to let it.

#gender critical #gnc female #reclaiming womanhood #gender dysphoria #battling the nonbinary label #i ended up tumbling down into some deep thinking again #i cried several times writing and editing this #if only i could just get my shit together #radfem #transition #former trans man

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boogiewrites · 5 years ago

Text

A Girl Walks Into A Bar 14

Characters: Declan Harp x Bella Fiore (OFC)

Summary: Modern Declan harp AU. For their first outing on the town together, the sexual tension is ripe and heavy in the air. Will their night end how they plan it?

Warnings/Tags: Mild Language. Date Night. Flirting. Sexual Content. Violence.

Click on my screen name then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please leave a like, reblog or comment if you enjoyed this! It makes me want to write more of what you want if you let me know!

Bella found herself floating like a much younger girl who’d never been hurt, slumping against the door after a slow and tortuous goodnight kiss.

She could smell him on her hands where she’s buried them in his hair and under his jacket, feel the plumpness of her lips, swollen from kissing him so long. She hummed with calm energy, biting her lip and smiling with no one around to make fun of her girlish behavior. No one except Robbie anyway.

Declan had a dopey smile on his face that he didn’t try to hide from anyone. Smile staying as he kept sighing, feeling a fullness in his chest as he drove home. The line had been crossed, his patience had been rewarded with an amazingly soft and sweet Bella and kisses of the same description. His moody little badass, his low key sweetheart and an absolute stunner in his eyes. And she wanted more. Of him, specifically which made his shoulders go slack and his insides melt at the words. A big puppy getting its belly rubbed is what he felt like, all warm and wiggly and excited. A kiss like the one they shared could only mean that other things between them would also be good. Man, they had chemistry, he thought to himself as he grew only slightly distracted on the empty road at the late hour. He knew he’d be thinking about her until he saw her again. He already wanted to. But he had to show restraint. Didn’t want to come on too strong for a woman like her, scare her off. He had her purring like a kitten in his arms, a smile on her lips after he kissed them, whispering she was looking forward to the date and more of this. It’s exactly where he’d wanted her, and he was going to make her his.

———

Mid-way through the workweek the whole office is buzzing about Bella. Did you see her in PINK lipstick? Hear her listening to Al Green? See the way she smiles at her phone when it lit up now? Her normally curmudgeon behavior had softened its edges just slightly. At least when she thought no one was paying attention.

“You gonna fess up yet?”

“Nothing to confess.” She says brow still low as her fingers shifted through a binder.

“Then tell me why you’re smiling at your phone at least? If it really is nothing I can squash the rumors.”

“Rumors?” She scoffs

“You know, secret boyfriend, secret girlfriend? Hitched in secret, pregnant with a hidden long term partners child?” She offers with a smirk.

“None of those things.” She replies looking up with a not hateful but not accommodating face.

“You gonna blame it on dog memes again?” CeeCee quirks a brow.

“To be fair...it usually is dog memes.” She lets out a low chuckle.

“Fine. I’ll find out one of these days.” She calls out as she walks down the hall.

——

“I closed up before you even got back, boyo.” Mike already grinning ear to ear as he puts on his apron, Declan sat at the bar and going over his books.

“It’s because I got back after that.” He says in a sash tone Mike is used to.

“And…? How’d it go?” He asks leaning on his elbows on the opposite side of the counter.

“Great.” He says plainly.

“Oh c’mon!” He says and shoves Declan’s shoulder.

He takes off his reading glasses and purses his lips at Mike.

“Ya not talkin? That bad? Or that good?” He asks with a jutting out chin and smile that read as patronizing.

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“You’ve not had no kissin TO tell in so long and Christ knows I innit gettin’ any so give me somethin’. Let me know my boy's heart’s intact. That we’ll be seein’ little Bella again.”

“If I told you and she found out she’d be pissed.”

“Likes her privacy eh?”

“Anyone with a brain would assume so.” He shoots Mike an obvious glare.

“So there’s somethin to tell?”

“There’s not...nothing to tell.”

“Fuckin spit it out, if ya can’t tell ya best mate who the fuck can ya tell?”

He sighs and gives in, having her on his mind constantly he wanted to tell someone bless him, it was in his nature to share good news to those close to him. “Paintball was a hit, she was great, liked it. Ate at Tony’s, perfect. Talked for hours. She was...well ya know. I think she was amazing.” He muttered the last part.

“Oh look at him! A wee blush to his cheeks! He’s got it bad he does!” He pinches Declan’s cheek and he smacks him away. “So ya didn’t take her to bed yet eh? Never known two adults who like each other so much to take it so damned slow.”

“We didn’t sleep together but…” he smirks, “I did kiss her.”

“There he is! Lady killer! Get her boy!” He growls and cheers enthusiastically as Declan grins at him slapping his arm.

“We’re going out on a real date this weekend.”

“Oh, a real one eh? That mean you need to clean your apartment?” Mike teases.

“Already did so, jokes on you.” He answers with a groan as he stretches his back. “But I might not be back that night.” He adds.

“I sure as fuck hope not!” Mike says obviously.

————

One part of Bella didn’t want to seem too eager, but another part of her brain wanted to just say “fuck it!” and get all sexed up. She knew he would be looking fine as hell, how could he not? They were going to a place that required reservations, so she takes her time planning her date night look.

It’s been years since she’d cared about such a thing. Dates were casual and in most cases led to nothing after. There were jeans sure but there was also the occasion high heel thrown in the mix, the clipping in of a few wefts of hair, but as she stood in the bathroom and gathered all her things to prep and shave and scrub she remembered that this particular bit had never been fun. Bella wasn’t one to make a big fuss over body hair. Particularly at her age where her main opinion was if he doesn’t want hair on it, he’s too immature to eat it. But with a want to impress she found herself considering it. She shaved her legs and pits and trimmed the rest in the end. Maybe Declan would be into it? And shrugs at the thought and starts to wonder what sort of situation she’ll find on him.

With successfully not getting distracted and having to masturbate before the date thinking about him, unlike the past week where her toys had seen ample use, she now stands in front of her closet in the dress she’d picked out. Should she go for the fuck me pumps she’d splurged on years ago, thinking she would surely find an occasion to wear them, and she hadn’t much at all? Certainly not enough to warrant what she paid for them. But the bottoms matched her tight red dress and she decided she couldn’t pass it up.

Teased and polished she sways and looks at herself in the mirror, knowing another check of her bed would warrant nothing new. She’d cleaned and situated everything just so.

“Can you believe mama might be getting some tonight?” She asks Robbie.

He seems disinterested as he lays on his toy mouse on the corner of the bed.

“I sure as hell can’t.” She mutters, primping just for the hell of it, taking selfies and letting the Slow Jams Hard playlist fill the room.

Declan admittedly hadn’t put so much prep into his look. He was a very low maintenance kind of guy. Plus everything she’d ever complimented him on was covered, wavy hair and beard intact he only trims a little on his face for good measure. He trimmed a little below the belt as well, just as torn on the decision as Bella had been. Neither would have cared ironically. Bella was really into the natural look anyway.

He takes a cab, something that throws her off but shows her he plans on having some fun. And she would always be down for fun with Declan.

She peeps out of her window, strappy black heels ticking across the hardwood floor. “Fuck.” She whispers. God, he looked good. In a black button-up shirt that was tight in all the right places, a few undone at the top to reveal a charm necklace he looks positively edible to her. He cleaned up well, and she wasn’t normally a fan of dress clothes on men, but he’d changed her opinion on so many things already she shouldn’t be surprised. He still wore his big black boots, she could hear them heavy on the front porch, a jingle of a chain, a deep voice clearing his throat as a tingle ran down her spine.

She opens the door before he even knocks, being more than ready to see him face to face after being without him for days. She’d thought about him more the past week than she had in all the months of knowing him.

With his hand raised to knock, he forgets to lower it for a moment as she reveals herself. He felt underdressed despite the slacks and button-up shirt because next to her he thought he’d look downright sloppy.

“Hey...Bella..” a drawn-out and delayed greeting with eyes not meeting hers as he looked at her in her tight red dress. Just a hint of thigh, thin straps over her shoulders holding a chest that demanded he looked with its glimmer. Her skin gleamed as she moved but nothing compared to the smile he found on her face when he managed to drag his eyes up to hers.

“Hey yourself.” She gives him a cocky nod, getting the reaction she wanted out of him. And she better have, what with how much this lingerie had cost. She’d never spent so much on such little fabric before. But she was a fan of an indulgent purchase from time to time.

He turns and holds a finger up to the cab driver and moves inside to shut the door. “Can I tell you just how fuckin’ good you look without you slapping me?” He asks with glazed eyes and a smirk.

“I insist.” She purrs in response, her heels making her so much taller than before, standing up closer to his 6’ 4” daunting frame. He was a beast of a man but he could play civilized as she was seeing in his choices tonight.

“I’m glad we have reservations because otherwise, I might just tell that driver to fuck off.” He says with a slight laugh to his voice, hands moving to her bare upper arms and leaning in for a kiss.

“I’m not so glad about it.” She speaks softly back and gives him a playful tug at his bottom lip with her teeth. “Because you look so good in this, Declan.” Her voice breathy and, making his heart race. Her hands rub up against his chest, fingertips over the bare skin to his neck where she gives his beard a tug to bring him into another kiss. Round after round, the kisses could’ve gone on forever, but he wasn’t about to miss out on his hard attempts to woo her properly. Or at least what he thought she deserved.

He isn’t sure what he expected from her, but this sultry sort of behavior hadn’t been it. He’d been behaving himself, not sure where to put his hands at first, but when her fingers with their long nails snaked up the back of his neck, scratching into his scalp he moaned, a low chuckle against his lips. “That’s what I want to hear.” she smiles, looking up at him and his closed eyes. “You don’t have to be so well mannered Declan. We’re past that now, don’t you think?” she asks sweetly with naughty intentions with a tilt of her head, tongue giving his lips a little teasing lick. Man, was she feistier than he anticipated. But it only made him more eager to know more of this side of her.

“I didn’t wanna...insult you, ya’know? Didn’t want you to think that’s what this was all about.” he says with still closed eyes as she continues to scratch.

“You’re too sweet Declan.” she coos. “You don’t have to to worry about me dropping you for touching me. You’ve proven you’re not just around for a fuck. Besides... I really want you to touch me.”

With expressed permission, he forces his eyes open and looks down at her, a seductive portrait of a woman, and looking at him with long lashes and a wicked smile that told him everything else he needed to hear. “Good.” a deeper, more masculine voice and version of him emerges, no longer trying to withhold himself from her. Perhaps she was only hesitant before, and now that she felt she trusted him, all the walls that had been up that kept them from expressing just how much they wanted each other were now rubble, a clear attraction finally able to be confessed. “Because I’ve thought about touching you all week.” he adds before taking her for another deep kiss, big broad hands finally wrapping around her waist. She was so soft. Moving further down he gets handfuls of her ass, lifting her slightly which makes her let out another soft laugh into his mouth that he eagerly eats from her. The hard bars of her nipple piercings pressed through a thin bra up against his chest, just barely visible under the skin smoothing fabric.

“So have I.” she says, pulling away, hands to his cheeks now as she gives him one adoring look that makes him want her on more than a sexual level. How long had it been since a woman look at him like that? And a sober woman, with more than just a quick fuck on her mind. There would be nothing quick about his plans for her if he could help it. He wanted time with her, more and more the more he got. Any question he’d had about how the night would end was certainly answered for him now.

-------

Their hands gave away their want first. Walking her everywhere with one secure to her back as he moved, making sure no one nudged her or got in her way as they walked down the busy street and into the just as full restaurant. With a leather jacket over her dress, she still looked like she belonged in the most upscale place he’d possibly ever been. They were more than a few pay raises over the usual crowd from The Trading Post and she looked much more at ease than he did.

Bella had been in these sorts of places before. She certainly didn’t prefer them to places like Declan’s, but being best friends with a woman who married a businessman who was given a high position in one of the huge, mirrored window buildings that dotted the city skyline because of who his father was meant mixers, business parties and her and her new fancy friends wanting to sip skinny girl cosmo’s and talk about how hard it was to get their children into the best pre-school. Bella had nothing to really lend to these conversations. She’d gone to public school, so had her parents, and if she ever had a kid, it would go to public school as well. She wasn’t bred well, the daughter of an Irish hippie and a blue-collar Italian and had no illusions of being more. But despite the bad vibes from the picture-perfect women she had to stand with and nod politely for Charlotte’s sake, the buildings and food themselves were never that bad. So with the current company, someone else willing to slum it like she was, she wasn’t worried in the slightest about anyone else and what they thought in that bougie restaurant.

Declan for all his goofiness, was thorough when he wanted to be. Reserving a small U shaped booth near the back for some privacy and coziness, too close to the kitchen for most of the clientele she imagines. There was none of his usual almost clumsily loose body movements tonight, no big eye wrinkling grins, just a controlled and intense version of the sometimes puppy-like man she’d grown so fond of. She was unknowingly getting a glimpse at Black Wolf, the behavior that gave him the nickname. She watched him situate after settling her in, low brow over dark and questioning eyes, surveying the space.

“You didn’t have to bring me to a place like this you know.” she says with a soft and sweet tone, speaking low as he scooted right next to her, his arm around her and stretched across the back of the booth, taking up space and looking predatory.

“I know I didn’t have to.” his smile read more in his eyes than anything else now. His voice low and smooth and making the corners of her mouth slowly rise to give subtle approval to his words. “But I wanted to.” he leans in and nods.

“It’s really nice. Thank you.” she says with a polite bow of her head before crossing her legs towards him and patting his thigh. “Have you been here before?” she asks, looking over the market price only menu after sliding her jacket off, and of course, him lending assistance. With her highlighted shoulders now on display, his hand moves down to rest on her upper arms that were so close to showing definition she’d been momentarily angry they didn’t lean out before the date. But as his thumb swept across her buttery skin, slow drags of callouses from work, it was far from her mind.

“Nope.” the corner of his mouth twitching upward as he leans in close to read with her as she brings the menu between them.

“Me either.” she admits. “Places like this but not here.”

“Doesn’t seem like your kind of haunt.”

“It’s not. I’ve gone with Charlotte and her fancy ass friends.” she dismisses with a shake of her head. “I bet the meat here is amazing.” she says quietly, looking for him to add on his interests but he’s distracted by the fluff of her curls against his nose as he smells that intoxicating blend of deep patchouli and warm, sweet vanilla that he’d never smelled anywhere but on her.

He grunts and she looks up to him with curious eyes. “You smell amazing, babe.” he admits with a deep coo that forces a wider smile across her face, her bold red lips looking even more inviting to him set in the welcoming pose.

She leans in closer to his chest, giving a strong inhale that makes him chuckle, seeing the expanse of his chest jiggle slightly with the massive pecs she wanted to bury her face in. “You smell absolutely edible.” she adds with an amused hunch of her shoulders.

“I’m not sure if that’s the case.” he grins, a softer face pulling through.

She narrows her eyes playfull, chomping her teeth at him in an audible snap that makes his more goofy grin appear. “Don’t tell me what to do.” she retorts with a flip of her hair and turning back to the menu.

He laughs a chest rumbling and moving sound that made her ego inflate. He leans in and kisses her temple, a reward for reminding him why he’d pursued her in the first place. “Not one for being bossed around, huh?” he asks almost innocently. The back of his mind couldn’t help but wonder if her preferences carried over into the bedroom.

“I mean..” she shrugs and smirks, snuggling up closer to him. “For the right man who knows what I’d be into.” she doesn’t meet his eyes but the smirk on her painted lips is enough to make him let out a low growling laugh and give her a good squeeze, another kiss to the head.

“I think I might want to try giving you some orders sometime.” he says into her ear with a clearly intentioned voice that does its job.

Her skin blooms with goosebumps and she hums happily, moving her face to his. “Oh you’re welcome to try anything, Declan.” she purrs and kisses him softly with a wrinkle of her nose.

“Then I will,” he says grazing his nose to hers. “Later.” he says with more authority in his voice as they share another tender kiss.

They order, and they don’t hold back, as per his instructions. Their bodies couldn’t have been closer, a large hand rested on her bare knee, slowly running down her legs and back up again with fingertips teasing the hem of her dress as he spoke. She kept touching his tender jaw, soft and lingering chaste kisses when she couldn’t stand it any longer. Her hands for the most part behaving, but sinking into his collar to his neck, playing with the chest hair with the revealing unbuttoned top of his shirt. She played with his rings and hands while he told stories, but still listening. He would brush her hair back, lean in so close she could feel his breath on her neck and ears before he spoke. There was spoken and unspoken tension that they both knew was building to a peak.

They both get the best steak, a bottle of wine and a dessert to share. Picking the messiest on purpose, Bella demands only one spoon, and let’s playtime continue. She feeds him tiny macarons with her precise fingers. Both taking turns, deciding on which sweet to try next. The underlying lust between them fueled everything they did with all the flirting and wine between them. Her full lips puckered against his large fingertips while he paused and let her playfully bite them as he hand-fed her. He kissed and licked away rouge splashes of cream and chocolate, taking it from her lips with a slow passing of his thumb to suck it into his own mouth. She was utterly mesmerized. On the last bites, taking her finger and wiping the fruit purée from the plate she sucks on her fingers, looking into his eyes, being bold and humming with sexual energy. He couldn’t help but feel and be charged by it.

“Lemme try some baby.” He speaks so low and deep she feels her body thrum like a guitar string deep between her legs when he spoke like that to her.

She repeats the action and he takes her finger into his mouth, and she’s worried her legs would no longer work when he tried to stand. That and her panties were definitely ruined by the forward action. Her lashes flutter and her cheeks flush, licking her lips as he grins seeing her face be so transparent. She takes a deep breath and a tiny little noise escapes her.

“What is it babe? You like that or something?” He teases, nose on her hair and words traveling directly from his lips to her ears. Every time he’d call her some sweet pet name her insides quivered. A gentle affection with intentions that were anything but.

She gathers herself before speaking, moving her face back to his, forcing eye contact to prove he hadn’t won yet. “It makes me wish the ride back home was a whole hell of a lot shorter.” Her lips and taut and speak with articulation, tongue flicking for dramatic effect and it all worked seamlessly. “I wanna take you home, Declan.” She coos, fluttering her lashes and rubbing her fingers down his neck. “Let me show you what I like.” She adds before pressing another kiss to his lips.

“There is nothing else I’m more interested in doing, sweetheart.”

——————-

They were like two hormonal teens in the back seat of that cab in the dark. Cozied up close and every touch feeling electric and sending signals to every amorous part of their brain and thus, body. Flirtatious giggles and their quietening with kisses turns hot quickly. Her hand on his neck and jaw, his rubbing up the outside of her thigh up to the swell of her hip, dragging the hem of her dress higher. If they weren’t kissing their faces stayed close with sweet whispers and affectionate nuzzles the whole ride home. The well-lit city fades to more spaced street lamps of residential areas and before they knew it they were back at Bella’s and both covered in a sheen of sweat.

“Thanks. And some extra for having to deal with us.” He chuckles and gives a nod to the driver. “Kept it strictly PG-13 don’t worry.” He grins and joins her in readjusting their clothes as they stand on the curb for a moment.

“C’mon handsome.” She says with a smile that was more happy than sexual, taking his hand and walking up to her door.

He puts his hands on her hips as she finds her keys in her purse and kisses the rounds of her shoulders. She was finding it very hard to concentrate. With hands almost Misbehaving and roaming up to just under her bra, they felt like they could wrap around her entire torso they were so big. Although that was far from factual, the fact that he was making her feel like something dainty that could be taken and overpowered had her nipples standing at full, sensitive attention from thought alone.

“Movin’ a little slow there baby.” He grins against the bend of her neck, lips hovering by her ear.

“You’re doing a very good job of distracting me.” She huffs out a laugh and finally gets the keys in and the door open. He hangs her coat first, then his as she enters the security codes. Lazily tossing her purse onto the small bench by the standing lamp in the hallway that went straight from the front door to the kitchen, it gives the perfect amount of ambient light to the living room. It illuminates the warm-toned, retro and southwestern style room just enough to be alluring but not be clumsy.

After the chain leaves her hands from her bag, his are back on her. Snaking around to her lower back and into her hair at the nape of her neck which gave her a thrill all the way down into her stomach. He meets her eyes, her face lit by the lamp but his shadowed, he looks over her expectant expression of slightly parted lips and doting eyes.

“Would you think less of me if I told you I was tired of taking it slow? ” She unexpectedly whispers as his thumb traces her bottom lip, getting an intimate look at her up close.

His eyes threaten to roll back in his head at her words, he could feel his pulse in his throat and lets out a low masculine grunt at her confession. He takes her face into both of his, entirely encapsulating it in his grasp. “I don’t intend on rushing with you baby. But I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” He promises in a rasping whisper before joining their mouths.

The kiss slips over chest and light, her arms around his neck, pulling him close as his hands control her body, moving it back towards the living room couch. With deep, probing turns that had their tongues wrapped around each other, escaping their mouths as one would have to stop to pant or moan. Their eyes are rolled back behind their lids, their hands desperate and now free to roam as they pleased. Hers sank into that glorious mane of his, the almost black roots like her hair color fading lighter from his time in the sun as they traveled down to his collar bones. Her fists balled into it, and with the feeling of finally giving in to something he’d wanted to do for longer than she liked to admit, she moans as she gives herself over to the pleasure of it.

Showing her impatience she pulls him to the couch, one finger into his belt loop to tug him her way, and it didn’t take any more than that to have him follow her. With a strong hand moving self assuredly down her backside to her thigh, hiking her leg up and causing her dress to shimmy up in the process, he grabbed her tightly and with his strong arms and long legs he lowered her onto the couch on her back.

Him not even making it to the bedroom wasn’t lost on her. She said she didn’t want to wait and he wasn’t going to make her. Her muscular thighs latch ahold of him, small desperate noises escaping her as his hands finally grabbed her with purpose like she’d been daydreaming about. With a growl and a firm hand to her ass, his kisses start to travel and she sighs out helplessly against him. Buried in her neck she feels the suck and bite of him against her, shutting her eyes and fully indulging in it, her back arching off the plush couch involuntarily.

Her hands move between them to reach down and run her hand over his growing length, biting her lip and snarling at the hardness she finds there pinned against her.

In response, he bites the fullness of her breast over her dress and makes her let out a breathy chuckle. He kisses his way across her bare skin, nipping at her piercings that were now pushed prominently against the strained fabric. “Ugh, these are so fuckin sexy baby.” He noses against the bump of bar. “These, the tattoos...so fuckin’ sexy.” He groans and takes a big mouthful into his mouth.

“I like yours too ba- Oh!” She squeaks as his phone starts to vibrate against her in his pocket. With a shared laugh, he takes it out and silences it, putting it on the coffee table and moving back to kissing her. “Thought you’d bought some toys to the party.” She giggles as he kisses her cheeks and the sides of her mouth while she nuzzles against him. “Although I’m certain you won’t need them.” She purrs and reaches down to grab him gently, fingertips tapping and dragging over him sensitive length.

He grunts and starts in on her jaw, a muffled “Nuh uh.” A shake of his head against her, working back down to her chest again. His hand had worked its way under her dress, which was now around her waist revealing the black and mesh thong that makes him drag his tongue across the swells of her breasts to her mouth again. “Fuck Bella.” He exhales softly, looking down at her soft and thick thighs. A perfectly framed, chubby mound grabs his attention, proving every bit of her was soft, so he does the same to it. His hand cupping over her entirely, fingers feeling between her thighs and finding her already wet through her panties, cueing another deep, drawn-out “Fuuuuck.” as he rubs over her, propped up on one arm and sucking away at her neck as she lets him explore her body.

His phone buzzes again, the call goes unanswered and barely noticed with their noisy kisses and moans, her unbuttoning his shirt and him pulling the front of her dress down. Her hands are working on his belt, fumbling with the buttons. as he broadly licks over the mesh cups on her bra. They were in their own little bubble again, hands harsh and needy, kisses hard and biting. And his phone buzzes a third time.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who wants a piece of you tonight.” She jokes, kissing his ears, voice extra breathy in his ear as she takes his earlobe into her mouth.

“Well fuck ‘em.” He mumbles and she exhales an amused sound into his ear before taking a nibble. He retakes her mouth with his into a messy kiss with a hard grip to her thigh and she hums contently in his embrace. He shifts, hard cock herring against her middle with pants undone, her with her dress around her waist and his weight grinding into her making her swear and bury her hands in his hair again with a tight grip. But then the phone rings again.

With a pause from them both, Declan lets out a rugged sigh.

“Go ahead.” She says sweetly, understanding the cause for stopping for a moment.

“Shit.” He groans, running his hand through his hair. “It’s Mike.” He knew Mike wouldn’t interrupt him on this night, of all nights for no reason. “Baby I’m afraid I need to-“

“Take it babe.” She insists with a shake of her head, snuggling into the couch and her hands going back to roaming over him. A sneaking under the band of his boxers over his muscular ass, a hand running over his chest and into his hair where she began kissing as he spoke.

“Mike you better be dead you asshole to be calling me.” He growls out, face stern and intense as he stares into the darkness of the room to concentrate.

Bella continues on under him, rubbing her hips against his, palming him over his tight and now wet boxers with a serene face and bitten lip. The usual questions follow, who, why, when. But she knows the gig is up when he lets out a loud and annoyed sigh and buried his face in her chest, hair covering his face. “Fuck you man, yeah.” He forces out angrily. “Shut up I’ll be there.” He says hanging up on him and putting the phone back on the table. He sighs and touches her cheek, hips subtly moving with her still moving against him.

“You have to go don’t you?” She whispers as he runs his thumb across her lips.

“Yeah, baby I’m-fuck I don’t want to.” He lets out a frustrated laugh. “Some asshole is fucking up the bar and asking for me.”

“Your reputation precedes you.” She grins and gives him a soft and slow kiss they both allow themselves to get lost in for a minute.

“I hate this shit. I try to stay out of this bullshit and-“ She pulls his face down into a hard kiss and he moans into it.

“I get it. I fucking hate it but I get it. When you’re the boss these things happen. I know.” She says with a graze of her nose to his.

“You’re too good to me baby girl.” He says with a disheartened sigh and another lippy kiss with her center throbbing at the pet name. He pulls back and she watches him move, making no move herself to hide or change position, her hand only trailing between her legs to find the, even impressive to her, wetness that had seeped through the panties.

“You’ll be good to me later.” She winks and sticks out her tongue. He looked her over, biting his lip and latched his pants back up.

“I’ll be the best to you later baby. I swear.” He says leaning over and taking her foot and kissing her ankle, then her calf, leaning in for another kiss to the lips. “God damn it’s hard to leave you looking like this.”

“You left me plenty wet for me to have some fun without you. I won’t be happy but I’ll live. I’ll be pretending it’s you anyway. Will you think of me later baby?” She playfully licks his lips as he raises again to separate himself, finding it hard enough watching her with her tits almost out, dress pulled away, her red nails rubbing circles over her panties, sinking into the glistening wet and softness.

“Every fucking minute until we’re back like this.” He groans.

“You go take care of business, boss.” She orders with pouty lips and a deeper turn of voice. “You ring him up by his fuckin neck for me baby.” She smiles wickedly and he takes a deep breath and exhales towards the ceiling.

“Fuck you are….well you might just be fucking perfect. Fuck.” He groans and mumbles.

“You’ll find out soon.” She whispers, hand disappearing down her panties.

“Fuck yes I will.” He says stalking with a still hard cock straining against his pants. “And I’m sorry baby, I couldn’t be more sorry.” He says with his hand on the doorknob.

“I know big guy.” She grins and moans. “You know where to find me.” She giggles, running a hand through her hair.

“Night baby.”

“Night.”

—————-

The number of people outside the bar told him something was wrong. Normally, when someone was raising hell no one would look twice, it happened, it was a bar. But as he stepped out of the cab, his impressive stature primed and ready for a fight, the men parted to let him through, their rubbernecking ceasing for a moment. He slung the door open with a loud and carnal growl, it slamming against the rubber stopper and bouncing, taking the attention of the man causing the trouble. He knew him or knew his brother anyway. Another abusive piece of shit he’d beaten up months ago because he’d hit one of his friends in front of her kid. Declan didn’t stand for that shit. He’d gone to jail recently, and he’s guessing this poor drunk bastard was acting out and looking for someone to blame. Well, he’d found him.

“There’s the mother fucker!” the guy drunkenly yells.

Once Declan sees who it is, no longer worried about a fight, he looks around to the damage done. Mike wasn’t joking. An end of the bar was still on fire, taps searing red hot and all the stools broken, a few booths had been knifed and gutted, a neon sign smashed, it was enough to make Declan want to wreck the guy, but he’d already fucked with him on the wrong night.

Throwing his jacket off he charges like a bull to the guy, ignoring the knife in his hand and putting one hand around his neck, and picking him up off her feet and slamming him into a wall. Hard. The other hand takes the knife while the guy was caught off guard and pushes it into his cheek, enough to let him know he was serious.

“You picked the wrong night to come fuck with me you little shit.” he barks in his face, spit flying as he growled from his gut, all his frustration into the guys face.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ keeeeel you, you mother fuck-” he begins but Declan squeezes his throat and he chokes, knocking his head against the wall again.

“You think you are? You stupid piece of shit?” he takes him and throws him into a table, stalking over him, leaning and looking while he struggled. “Is this what you wanted? Me to kick your fucking ass, huh?” he shouts, kicking him lightly with his boot. “Because I could fucking KEEEL you for coming in here. Fucking with MY shit. Ruining MY night with my girl? Fuck you!” he yells, giving him a kick to the ribs.

“Declan. Slow down.” Mike warms while trying to put out the fire.

“So I beat the shit out your brother? So what? He’s trash just like you. You wanna send the rest of the family down? I’ll kick their asses too.” he growls and stands over him now holding him by the shirt.

“HE went to jail because of you!” he drunkenly slurs.

“No. He went to jail because he’s a fuckin’ idiot who can’t keep his god damn mouth shut. Must run in the family huh?” he snarks, slapping the guy across the face.

“If you hadn’t-”

“If I hadn’t he would’ve kept beating Sasha and that kid would’ve seen it and had to live with that. You might not care, but I do. And your brother deserves whatever he gets, same as you. Now c’mere.” he yanks him up, the guy's feet not even on the ground as he holds him to his face. “Now you can get the fuck out of here, or I can put your name on the fuck ton of paperwork this is gonna take to get the damage your little fuckin tantrum has caused and your ass will have to pay for it. And we’ll have to go to court, and you’ll have to pay for that and get a lawyer. So what’s it gonna be? You get the fuck out and stay the fuck away from me and mine? Or do I need to make you disappear?” he threatens with a low threat. He knew he could if he wanted. He’d done it before, he’d, unfortunately, have to do it again, he was sure.

“I’ll go-fuck-Jesus.” he sputters out of a bloody mouth.

Declan carries him like a battering ram and throws him onto the sidewalk. “You gonna come for me you best not miss mother fucker.” he says giving him one last kick to the ass and knocking him down again.

Declan whips back his hair, running a hand through it and letting out a sound of frustration, blood pumping fast and fingers tingling with anger.

“Get back in boys, before you start calling attention to us.” he calls out, stomping back inside. He slams his hand down on the non-burnt end of the bar. “Give me a fucking drink!” he shouts and Mike obeys, handing him an entire bottle of whiskey. He takes large gulps and closes it back. “God damnit.” he growls again, still angry, the burn in his throat fitting for how he felt.

“Yeah this is-”

“A fucking mess.” he says with his eyes shut. “And a week before the fucking show.”

“And on date night.” Mike mumble which he was the sorriest for. “Didn’t mean to interrupt ya mate.” His eyes lowered he throws a hand towel to Declan who is covered in smudges of red lipstick.

“YEAH! THAT TOO!” he yells and groans. “What?” He wrinkles his nose at the offering.

“Ya got a bit a-“ Mike motions to Declan’s neck as he turns to see the polka-dotted lip prints across his skin.

“Fuck.” he roars out in frustration, thinking about having to leave in the middle of the act of those prints being left. “Fuckin’ bullshit. Stupid mother fuckers. Goddamned idiot-” he mumbles walking into the back to get the folder for the insurance information.

Mike sighs and purses his lips. There wasn’t any way he could turn this to make it better. So he just let Declan boil until it all evaporated and went down to a simmer. Because a furious Declan wasn’t something you wanted to be in the sights of. Even if he wasn’t coming for you.

-----

Bella, not having heard from Declan becomes slightly worried amid her horniness. She takes pictures of herself, dimly lit room and not a stitch on.

When a lackluster response of “You’re killing me baby.” With radio silence afterward she goes to sleep mildly concerned.

A call to the bar just rang unanswered, and she didn’t have Mike’s number so she does the next sensible thing and goes to the bar after work.

She stands in the doorway with wide eyes. Men with clipboards and hard hats carrying out chunks of the bar and booths, and little Mike sweeping and looking rather forlorn.

“What the fuck happened?” she says with a frowning face as she steps aside for a man to get through the door.

“Oh hell, Hi Bella.” Mike says with a sympathetic looking nod. “The reason I had to call and interrupt last night happened. Sorry ‘bout that by the way.” he shrugs.

“Looks like you had a good reason.” she says with a hand running through her hair.

An exhausted looking Declan comes out the back room, hair tied back and in worn and dirty jeans and t-shirt. “Oh fuck.” he sighs out and rubs his face. “I still hadn’t called you back. Shit.” he groans and walks towards her, reaching out and giving her a hug. “I’m gross but-”

“Shut up. Are you okay?” she asks, patting him down with her hands and then holding his face.

“I’m fine.” he dismisses her worry. “But the bar…” he sighs.

“Yeah. Fuck dude.” she answers, still looking him over, putting loose strands behind his ears as she looks around the bar. “You sure you’re okay? No offense but you look rough.” she says with a kind, soft laugh, her thumbs rubbing over his cheeks as the softness makes the tension in his neck ease.

His shoulders slump and he finally focuses on her and her worried expression. “C’mere.” he says, taking her hand and leading her into the back, behind a door that led to a flight of stairs and a door with lots of stickers and banners on it.

“What’s?” she asks before he opens it, revealing a studio apartment. “Whaaa?” she says surprised.

“You didn’t know?” he chuckles, shutting the door and moving to wrap his arms around her.

“No I didn’t know this was here.” she laughs, feeling a bit dumb. “I didn’t wanna be nosey.” she shrugs.

“Well this is my apartment.” he says with a nonchalant shrug. The space wasn’t huge, but not small, all exposed brick and wood and industrial looking. It felt old, the wood worn and haggard, two walls to block off a bedroom, a bar for seating in the kitchen, a bathroom tucked away in the corner. It felt very him to be so bare bones.

“I like it. Very... rustic.” she says before he takes her face and kisses her. “Mmph. Oh okay.” she mutters into it and giggles, moving to wrap her arms around him and kiss him back. After a few rounds that were for comfort more than anything he parts, his forehead to hers.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back.”

“Well, you’ve clearly been busy.” she says supportively.

“So fucking busy. No excuse. I’m sorry, okay?” he insists and she kisses him softly.

“Forgiven.” she says with a smile, reaching to give him a hug. “Don’t worry about me. You’ve got enough on your plate.” she insists, rubbing his back. How had he gone without this sort of comfort for so long? He grunts into it and she smiles, nuzzling into his hair and kissing his head. “You’re exhausted. Have you slept?” she pulls away and strokes his face.

“Not really.”

“That’s what I thought.” she nods. “Can I help?”

“You are helping.” he sighs out.

“Good.” she smiles and kisses his temples. They stay like that for a moment, her rubbing on him, easing the pain in his joints and muscles with the moment of recharge she was giving him. “Shit. What about the-?” she blurts out.

“Show. I know.” he shakes his head and groans. “I got the paperwork started last night for the insurance, then called these guys first thing this morning. We’ve been surveying and taking pictures and all that shit all day, so we’re getting out all the damaged stuff now. Insurance will be here in a few days, so that’s good. But the taps are destroyed, so’s the register and some of the stock. I can replace the booths and stools and shit no problem but the other things take time.”

“Do I need to cancel my stuff then?” referring to the walkthroughs she had scheduled for later in the week to set up the sound and lights.

“Nah. It should be fine. I’m helping the guys out, I’m a workhorse. We can drive out and get some shit from the supplier ourselves, it’ll be faster. I think we can manage.”

“You’re gonna be exhausted.” she responds with a pout of her lips, already seeing it on his face.

“Yeah but...gotta be done.”

“I can reschedule.” she insists.

“No, no. You’ve worked hard on it. I’m not gonna start this off with backing out. Don’t wanna jinx it like that.”

“It’s your call, babe.” she says with a supportive, soft smile.

“And it’s still on. It’ll be a shit week but by the end, it should be worth it. And if this works out then that money will be much needed to cover everything until the insurance comes through.”

“What’re you gonna do about the taps and everything? The POS?”

“A register is easy. The taps harder but doable.” he shrugs.

“Well, you could take this opportunity to upgrade a few things?” she says cautiously, not wanting to offend. “It’d cost more and I don’t wanna be nosey about your finances but a few upgrades could really give you an edge.” she offers with a face that was hesitant but honest.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean get some taps installed, some temperature regulated ones, keeps the head just right. A one-touch POS that you could program everything into, wouldn’t have to remember prices. WOuld really help with the temps. You get a report at the end of every day, you can manage everything from a computer. If you get volume in here it’ll really help you out. And if I have anything to do with it, you will.” she nudges her nose to his and he smiles down at her.

“You’re brilliant but I have no clue how to even go about that.” he chuckles in self-defeat.

“Lucky for you, you know a girl who does.” she beamed at him.

“I am lucky. You know that?” he hums and leans in and kisses her.

“Stop being so sweet I don’t know how to act.” she lets out a laugh that shook her shoulders.

“Get used to it.” he huffs out and kisses her again, squeezing her around the ribs. “How about you come down and talk to the guys? Before they tear too much up.” he grins.

“No problem.” she says cheerfully. “I’ll text my bar guys for prices and time frames and all that.” she says getting out her phone.

“Bar guys?” he says with a playfully territorial smirk.

“Oh yeah, I just collect you all. Didn’t you know?” she laughs.

“I did not!”

“They’re owners from when I used to travel and do shows and stuff. Some have done well for themselves over the years. I helped them with the manual labor to get some air time in the beginning.”

“After all this is over I’ve got some manual labor I’ll be needing you to do.” he gives her a goofy grin and she lets out that giggle he loves as he bites on her neck and growls, a handful of her ass in her tight jeans, the rough turning quickly to loud smooches to show his gratitude for her.

“I’d say so. You’ll owe me BIG time big boy.” she boops his nose and he smiles like a dope. “I’ll take my payment in installments over a long period of time if you don’t mind.” she snorts and his eyes turn to hearts as she lets herself go around him, her jokes being a way for her to be sweet without the vulnerability.

“No lump sum for you.” he shakes his head. “How long of a payment plan we talkin’?” he asks with a kiss to her cheek.

“I don’t know…” she pouts her lips in thought dramatically. “Depends on you doesn’t it?” she sass’s back.

“I have excellent credit I’ll have you know.” he retorts and she laughs and puts her head into his chest.

“I thought we were talking about something else entirely. Unless excellent credit is what you call your dick.” she holds in a laugh with a wrinkle of her nose, her front teeth showing as she hunches her shoulders.

“Nah that’s old faithful.”

“Also a good indicator of regularly scheduled payments being made!” she says with a beaming smile and a tilt of her head.

“You’re fuckin’ ridiculous.” he lets out a rolling laugh and gives her a good solid squeeze and kiss while they grin against each other. “C’mon. Work first. Then play.”

“Agreed.” she chirps and pulls him in for one last kiss before they return back to the world of professionalism.

Please leave a like, reblog or comment if you enjoyed this! It makes me want to write more of what you want if you let me know!

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theobaba · 5 years ago

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━━ ( aslihan malbora + cis female + twenty ) oi , have you seen theodora ‘theo’ baba around ? she lives in flat 16 in bedroom 2 ? i was meant to meet them this morning at bean me up before our lecture but she didn’t show . no ? well , shit . if you do see them , can you tell them i’m looking for them ? they’re a 2nd year pre-med student from paris, france & you’ll know it’s them because they might just remind you of the gleam of sunlight off of cream silk , the smell of money , dotting your ‘i’s and ‘j’s with hearts, red lipstick on the rim of a champagne glass, and getting caught rolling your eyes in the background of a photograph if that helps at all . just be careful , she can be a little vain , judgemental & greedy sometimes . —- oh don’t look like that , they’re usually loyal , charming & resourceful most of the time . ✏ pepper , twenty three, she/her , est

ABOUT THE MUN what is that? that freaky thing? yes that’s right it’s a naked mole rat

hello everybody, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything ever in my life, so this is very on brand for me dkjddkj i made theo up a few days ago while watching dare me and feeling particularly inspired by the cheerleader antics, so here she is to fuck things up! but a bit about me to start, i can and will twerk to the cardcaptors opening theme song, because it is a bop and i think it’s time we all acknowledged that. i spent majority of the past week full on sobbing over the good place and i have no regrets. the last song i listened to was jumpin’ jumpin’ by destiny’s child, and once again, no ragrets. and finally the last movie i watched of the decade… was cats. so sdkjsdjk one regret.

BIO. she’s a maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want all of her love.

to start here is a cute little pinterest board i did for her.

Theodora Aylin Baba was brought into the world and immediately wrapped in rich silk. Honestly. The first thing in her life to touch her skin was more expensive than anything most people touch in their lifetime and that set the tone for the rest of Theo’s life like nothing else could.

Theo’s father, Haluk ‘Luke’ Baba, was the CEO of a manufacturing company and her mother, Aysun, was beautiful. Really. That was her entire occupation. Before she married her father Theo heard that her mother used to be more. She was a model in Turkey, an amateur actress too. But growing up all Theo knew her mother to do was stand there, or occasionally sit there, and look pretty. And as a child Theo couldn’t think of a greater job in the world.

Until it became suddenly and abundantly clear that pretty wasn’t enough. Because of course other women could be pretty too. While Theo’s mother was particularly good at it, she didn’t have the market cornered. Theo’s nanny’s brand of pretty was not only enough to get Papa Baba into bed with her, but enough to get him to leave his wife and daughter too. Theo remembers the day he left with particular clarity. Half because it was her sixth birthday and half because that was the first time Theo had ever seen her mother look ugly. Because Aysun Baba’s rage was ugly and that ugliness showed as she chased Luke out of their house for good.

Theo’s father didn’t want her. Theo, that is, not her mother (although frankly he didn’t seem to want her either). He didn’t say it in so many words but there was no custody battle. Her mother got her without the slightest bit of fight and half of her fathers money to boot. Aysun still wanted Haluk’s head on a spike but the money eased her pain. And when she found Theo, crying about feeling unwanted and unloved, she had the money lick her wounds too. That day Theo got a solid gold necklace with her name on it, a pony, and tickets to see Jesse McCartney. That day Theo learned to wipe her tears on hundred dollar bills.

Her mother taught her other lessons as she grew up. First that you really could make money off of just being pretty. It was eye opening for Theo to see her mother use her looks to seduce men into marrying her. Successful men. Rich men. Men who should really know better, but easily fell to the charms of a pretty face. Aysun would usually get these men to wed her, stick around just for long enough to avoid questions, and then leave with half of their fortune. It was a subtle con but it was one that worked more than once, and through it all Aysun made sure her daughter knew everything she had come to learn, so that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes she did.

So Theo learnt from the best. Not the best mother by any means (her mother was cold, irate, and critical on her best days, and almost cruel on her worst) but the best black widow in the country for sure. She saw her mother singlehandedly ruin these men in both heart and bank account, and she participated. She made them fall in love with her, not in the same way her mother did of course, but as a daughter. Always daddy’s little girl for whichever daddy of the week it was. Always starry eyed. Always in awe. The perfect little girl who could ask daddy for a grand and get double that because she could do no wrong. She could never do anything wrong, even as behind closed doors she used that money for certainly less than right things. Drugs, gambling, partying, drinking, Theo dabbled in it all probably way too early. But who needed to know? Certainly not daddy.

The Baba women lived well for a while (well, one Baba woman and whatever surname her mother had taken from her husband of the year). They had more money than they knew what to do with, all without either of them having to work a day for it. And they were greedy to boot. Theo expected the two of them to live this way for the rest of their lives. And maybe they would have if Aysun didn’t slip up.

Against all odds, Theo’s mother fell in love. And she married that man, for love. It was made all the more ridiculous by the fact that the man was none other than Theo’s father. After all he had done. After all they had been through.

Theo was fifteen when her parents got remarried. Theo got nothing out of the arrangement but a maid of honour dress she promptly burned, a half sibling she actively despised, and her biological father back she supposed. She hated it. She hated her father, and at that point she felt lied to by her mother, the one person she had been able to trust. Their household quickly became a warzone. Theo vs her parents. Theo rebelled against them whether that be through subtle rich bitch antics (getting a boy she liked to crash her daddy’s car, making a scene at an important event, trashing the house with a massive party, ‘losing’ her sibling in increasingly outlandish ways, etc) or straight out hostility. It did nothing but make Theo feel better honestly, but Theo selfishly thought that was more than enough. Until they decided to send her to fucking boarding school, like that was supposed to fix absolutely anything. It didn’t. It just pissed her off.

But that was Theo’s life for a while. Going to boarding school and only seeing her parents for Christmas breaks and summers. Watching the woman her mother was waste away into something lovestruck and meek and anxious. Aysun was terrified that Luke would cheat again, that if she didn’t keep him 100% happy he would leave her. She drank to cope. Popped more than a few pills too. And that’s how Theo learned that one of her earliest memories was a misunderstanding. That it wasn’t rage on Aysun’s face but desperation. She didn’t chase Luke out, he left. The new perspective was eye opening. Her mother wasn’t who she thought she was, or maybe she was, but love changed her. The rose coloured glasses she used to fool men into loving her were over her own eyes now, and they had made her weak.

And then of course her father cheated. Again. Theo caught him in the act herself and she wasn’t the slightest bit surprised. He begged her not to tell her mother, to keep it between them. Theo countered his pleading with a saccharine sweet request for a new car. And later a new wardrobe. A yacht? A trip to Paris with her friends? Oh daddy, would you look at this cute little plane, I simply have to have it! Please?

And just like that all was right with the world then. Theo had the upper hand. She had a father, her real one, wrapped around her little finger. Her mother was still a disappointment but she was learning to cope with that. It was all looking up. Until the day before Theo’s eighteenth birthday. Because apparently, she’s cursed.

The day before Theo’s birthday her father was very quietly arrested, and if you’re wondering, yes it did put a damper on her birthday party the following day. It should be mentioned that Luke Baba was the CEO of a weapons manufacturing company, and according to the government he had been selling said weapons at a considerable discount to the wrong people. Now honestly, Theo wouldn’t have minded her father going to jail. Yes, it was embarrassing but the government was keeping things very discreet as they underwent their investigation. No one would know that Luke Baba was behind bars.

But then they took her mother with him as an accomplice. And while Theo’s heart might not be very big or warm, she does have some loyalty.

And well, shortly after they seized their bank accounts, and that was the last straw. Because while Theo could maybe perhaps deal with being orphaned, being poor??? Was unthinkable.

This was all just before Theo went to university and she has told almost nobody about the incident. Theo trusts very few people honestly, call it her mother’s influence. No one knows that her parents are in jail and no one knows that she is technically not rich anymore because Theo has been keeping up appearances really, really well. She’s just as snobby as before. Just as materialistic as before. Just as willing to throw money around as before, even if she doesn’t technically have it.

Well, didn’t technically have it. Upon becoming bankrupt and orphaned Theo she called up some of her old stepfathers. Even though most of them (⅔) were still foolishly heartbroken over her mother, they all still loved Theo. They funded her without a second thought, giving her more than enough to get herself on her feet. But it couldn’t last forever. After all, she wasn’t even their step daughter anymore. But it’s due to their help and the scholarship that Theo was offered for her academic performance(that she honestly never thought that she’d actually need) that Theo can go to university and stay in the flats. With roommates. The thought still makes her shudder, even after being here two years.

But by the end of the second semester of her first year Theo was getting restless. Yes, she had stepdad 1 pay for her tuition for the year and yes stepdad 2 was wiring money to her monthly for her rent and other expenses (which was really just code for Theo letting him help her raise her mother’s bail) all while she had stepdad 3 on standby for an emergency, but was it enough? Theo wasn’t living the life she was used to living. It was infuriating. It was frustrating.

And it was around then that her professor made a pass at her. Like a sign from god. Or maybe Zeus, that perv. Everything suddenly clicked into place.

Skeevy, lonely, old, rich, married men. That was her in. That was her salvation. She’d get them to cheat, or even just come close to it. Take a few pictures maybe. Save a few text messages. Record a few phone calls. And finally blackmail them and milk them for all they’re worth. Cut and dry, a piece of cake. A bit of effort and Theo gets everything she wants as always. And no one has to know. Order will be restored. She’ll be on top.

Theo has been doing this for about two years and she’s been pretty successful. It helps her pay her bills and fuels her shopping habit. She also has a few sugar daddies on file because a girl’s gotta do what a girls gotta do, but to almost everyone in her life Theo just simply continues to put on the facade of being effortlessly rich. She even still goes to some rich people events and shit just to keep up appearances. If anyone ever asks where her parents are, they’re out of town. Oh, Mom is in Milan for fashion week, and Dad is in China on a business trip. She has too much pride to admit the truth to anyone, because despite everything Theo is a little embarrassed of it and she does not want anyone by any means to ever pity her.

HEADCANNONS. i’m not killing people, i’m killing boys

was head bitch in charge in high school, head cheerleader, etc. very spoiled honestly, is used to asking people to jump and them asking how high, and can occasionally come off a bit bossy because of it.

still very much loves dance and gymnastics from her time cheerleading, actually used to do ballet growing up too. she is probably in a dance or gymnastic club at the university or even on the competitive cheer team if they have one. Considered becoming a dance major at one point but instead took freaking pre med (* elle woods vc * what, like it’s hard? dfkjdjk) for the money and only the money though!

honestly theo plays dumb a lot of the time and tbh,,, she is a bit of dumb when it comes to certain things (straight up thought that a banana would cost ten dollars before she started buying her own food, thinks you have to pay to get your mail, like rich people dumb yk) sdkjsdjk but she does really well academically like she’s never really struggled to much to make grades. will joke that she’s just in the department to try and meet her future husband though, and generally won’t share her grades because honestly she figures if people know she’s smart they’ll see her coming,,, and she doesn’t want that, if people think she’s just a pretty face it’s easier to screw them over.

is a really good student though and takes school pretty seriously but doesn’t want it to look like she does? like she wants to seem effortlessly smart, but she studies her ass off when no one’s looking. her binders are all coloured coded and sexy, like she is a secret nerd for sure.

used to travel all over the place with her mother because of the amount of times her mother got married like it’d straight up be like i’m marrying this guy from sydney australia so off we go baby pack your bags aksbsj we’re moving. So she’s spent time all over the place honestly, i’d say she’s at least lived in five different countries in her life? So despite being born in france, she’s been all over.

i’m going to say her mom got married three times in nine years so?? definitely sus but nothing too crazy like some men just do that anyways so dkjdjk

Can speak turkish (she learned from her mom), french, italian, spanish, and knows a bit of latin mostly because she took it in high school though so it truly is just a rich bitch thing. can speak bits and pieces of a few other languages but not fluent by any means

doesn’t tend to have the highest opinion of men in general because of the way she was raised but she’s not an asshole about it yk like unless you’re an older man she can exploit you’re safe.

a bisexual icon like all of my muses honestly! very much inspired by me finally starting to watch dare me and it taking over my life so yes this bitch swings both ways!

honestly lowkey really craves love and acceptance from her father but is so salty after the initial rejection that she won’t give him the chance to reject her again! she’d rather die!

honestly rejection is probably one of her biggest fears

a philophobe but i feel like no one is surprised. thinks love makes you stupid and yk what she’s not wrong! has never been in love!! or maybe she has,,, wc mayhaps??

watches a lot of reality tv and the entirety of her flat is probably judging her for it but she doesn’t care!! will watch the bachelor in the living room and scream prayers for pilot pete’s last braincell!

speaking of the roommate situation, theo can’t cook and is super messy so fgkfdkj good luck y’all! her take out containers are probably stacked up in the fridge, and her room looks like tornado just went through it because this girl is used to having maids to clean up after her and now that she doesn’t she doesn’t know how to act!!

Is freaking tiny man. Like legitimately like 5’2.

dabbles in witchy stuff mostly for fun. believes in ghost. the one to pull out a ouija board at a party. very much into astrology. needs to know the time you were born.

her mom calls her aylin but she’s really the only one to. goes by theo or thee for the most part, or baba depending on the person.

goes to visit her mom in prison like once a month. gets the guards to call her father over only so he can sit down, pick up the little phone thingie, and theo can look him in the eye as she hangs up on him sdkjdskj.

still a bitch for jesse mccartney! also one direction! the jonas brothers! also probably most boy bands, like she likes to pretend to be like yes hmm classical music because she wants to seem classy but just wATCH HER POP HER PUSSY TO BURNING UP! her roommates have probably come home to her doing entire performances in her fluffy bathrobe and bunny slippers and you know what good for them it was a whole show!!

won’t smoke, but will vape. also a lightweight when it comes to drinking, but she doesn’t want anybody to know that!

is incredibly ticklish on the low!

PERSONALITY. it’s not easy to apologize and that’s exactly why i won’t do it

fun! theo enjoys a good party and isn’t nearly as posh as she likes to come across, so once you get to know her underneath the ice queen exterior she is a lot of fun.

quite witty mostly because she likes one upping people even in verbal spars. will give you the funniest advice and anecdotes because she’s just really snarky?

selfish as all hell god. feels no remorse about destroying these men’s lives. the embodiment of that killing eve scene where the guy is trying to bargain with villanelle to spare him like ‘i have kids!’ and villanelle is like ??? ‘i don’t want your kids’ aosbsjsq

greedy, kind of stuck up, materialistic, spoiled

in love with herself honestly. no one loves themselves more than theo loves theo. is she insecure underneath it all? i guess i’ll find out

kind of mean i’m not going to lie fgjkdfjk but only really to strangers and people she hates. hates a lot of people though, but is the type to be nice to their face and trash talk them behind their back, or trash talk them to their face sometimes too yk to mix it up

loyal! like if you’ve broken through her walls she’d probably kill a man for you (if she could get away with it scott free ofc)

superiority complex. doesn’t care what people think of her as long as they know she’s better than them wkenekej

if you’re ever upset and need someone to comfort you do not come to theo she’ll just ask if you want to do some online shopping sksbsjs does not have a healthy relationship with her emotions at all. a straight shopoholic when she’s upset like she just fills that void with stuff or goes on a bit of a self destructive party spree (hence why she legit did still have her eighteenth birthday party after her parents were arrested)

a dramatic bitch honestly.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. i want it all! i want it, want it, want it, the fame and the fortune and more! I WANT IT ALL!

omg before i forget i have a wanted tag right here and i would love anything inspired by any of the posts in it too!

BEST FRIENDS. i feel like this will mostly be her roommates but also childhood friends mayhaps! a pen pal she confided in as she moved place to place! maybe someone she met at boarding school???

SQUAD. people on the cheer squad at the university would be fun i’m just saying.

PEOPLE WHO KNOW HER FROM BOARDING SCHOOL. i said what i said! or people she used to pick on from boarding school, or even people who used to be on her cheer squad, or even people who HATED HER IN HIGH SCHOOL CAUSE YOU’RE VALID.

FIRST LOVE. like i said, theo has traveled all over (mr worldwide? more like MRS. WORLDWIDE! move over pitbull dsklsdk) and tbh i’m pretty flexible about where so this could literally be anybody!

GIRL SQUAD. honestly just give me a group of girls that get up to wild antics together. it’s rare to see one of them without at least one of the others and it’s just cute and fun!

SOMEONE WHO SEES THROUGH HER BULLSHIT. someone who’s onto her! whether that be in her fake rich bitch antics or the entire ice queen facade!

FWB/EWB. open to ladies and gents, you know what it is.

EX FWB/EWB. same thing bby girls and boys come one come all.

ENEMIES. just !!! mutual hate man!! we love to see it! theo is vocal and passionate when she hates someone so!! give it to me! tommy & arlo

SOMEONE WHOSE DAD SHE’S BLACKMAILING. i mean???? could be wild folks. we don’t have to make it that theo slept with him but she definitely got close enough to be able to blackmail him.

PLATONIC SOULMATE. just a soft f/m friendship where they know each other really well and get along really well and they really are not dating or even interested in that but everybody is like omg y’all should date but they’re like !!! never gonna happen it’s not like that elias

SIBLING LIKE RELATIONSHIP. they annoy each other! and drive each other crazy! but they would do almost anything for each other rip.

EX STEP SIBLING. theo’s mom definitely used their dad for money but maybe they don’t know that! or maybe they do! theo is probably currently using their dad for money and maybe they’re like girl you better STOP or maybe they want in on it, who knows.

GOD SIBLING. also cute and valid! they’ve known each other forever! maybe the only person to know about her parents cause they’re family? could also be a family friend.

LEND ME SOME SUGAR, I AM YOUR NEIGHBOR. just a neighbor who theo is always pestering kjdjkd theo shares with them, despite the fact that they didn’t ask!! tries to prod into their life, it’s a whole ass mess.

PARTY FRIENDS. !!! give me friends who get fucked up together. maybe it’s a thing where theo parties with these people but tends to avoid hanging out with them outside of that setting?

FAMILY ENEMY. maybe like? an enemy of her family or something? their families are rivals or something like that or have a longstanding fued? could be wild could be fun.

ONE NIGHT STAND. self explanatory, could be from any time or anywhere tbh.

EXES. theo could honestly have a lot of these, once again… f or m or nb, any of the above work. theo doesn’t really know how to like? love someone though so this would be messy. she was probably only looking for a good time and probably played with their feelings more than a bit because of it. maybe dumped them or maybe they dumped her! if they dumped her than tksjdkjsd theo is incredibly offended and is probably trying to get them back and/or ruin their life out of spite so jot that down!

#theflats:intro #god... this is so long for no reason #izzy's will definitely be shorter!!

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bby-calum · 6 years ago

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Real Housewives - C.H

request: You know what why the f not. I’ve had this fantasy (if that’s what you’d call it) with Calum where we’re both married and I’m on the reality show real housewives but im not that dramatic and psycho and that the ladies are a bit jealous of me and our marriage so sometimes there’s drama on the show when when we have the group dinners with the husbands and the husbands are just awkward but sometimes speak up to defend their wives. So I was wondering if I could request that if it’s not too much ❤️❤️

a/n: this was so much fun to write! i have no idea if i have the concept of real housewives down in this lmao i’ve only seen one episode

word count: 1,210

masterlist: link in bio!

synopsis: you, a star of Real Housewives, attend a dinner party with your husband Calum. things get heated and Calum storms out after an argument

“God, I fuckin’ hate these dinners,” Calum grumbled as he struggled with the buttons on his crisp white shirt. He’d only managed one. “And these button holes are too damn tight.”

You placed your hands on his chest. “Chill, baby. Let me help.” Calum relaxed his tense shoulders as you fixed his shirt, your fingers delicately tickling his chest. He lifted your chin with his finger and placed a soft kiss against your lips.

“I only go to these things so I can see you in a pretty dress,” he said. Even though the two of you had been married for almost five years and together for eight, Calum still managed to make you blush. “You look beautiful.” He tucked a stray piece of hair back behind your ear that had fallen from the sleek low bun you had put your hair into.

The dress you were wearing was a gift from Calum. It was a deep midnight blue satin slip, one that you had been eyeing in the shop window the past two times you and Calum had been at the mall. Although you could definitely afford it, it was still more than you usually would spend on a dress you would probably only wear once. Outfit repeating in the Real Housewife world was a sin deadlier than no other. When you’d arrived home last night the satin number had been left laying on your bed alongside a note from your husband that read ‘for my darling wife’.

“And your ass looks incredible in this dress,” he smirked, his hands smoothing the material of the dress on your butt. He kissed you again, deeper and for longer this time, his tongue teasing you. “We’re gonna be late,” you pulled away reluctantly. “And now you have my lipstick on your face,” you wiped it away with your forefinger before reapplying the lipstick to your lips.

Calum pulled on his jacket, spritzed some cologne and then followed you down the stairs of your Los Angeles mansion. You said goodbye to the sitter who was watching your eight month old son, kissing the baby on the forehead as he slept in his crib. Once Calum said his goodbyes the two of you caught a cab to the dinner party you were to be attending tonight.

When your ride pulled up outside the house Calum leaned against the headrest of his seat. “I don’t want to go in,” he sighed. “It’s all so fake.” “It’s work baby,” you said, giving his hand a squeeze. “A few hours for the cameras and then we can go home.”

Reluctantly Calum followed you up the pathway of Anastasia and Edward’s home. They were filming already and you prepared yourself for the cameras, getting into the mindset of your Housewife persona. Although you weren’t exactly fake on screen, you definitely played up to the cameras, you were encouraged to do so. At home, behind the privacy of your closed front door, you were much more reserved, gentle and kind. In front of the cameras and the group of other housewives you were feisty, protective and a little bit bitchy.

“Y/n! Calum! Come in my darlings!” Anastasia welcomed you into her home. “You look lovely, y/n,” she was sickly sweet as she kissed you on your cheek. “Calum, your shoes, they’re, um, nice,” she managed. Calum, in true Calum style, was wearing his black hi-top converse with his suit. It was his go-to look for these dinners, he knew how much it pissed the other couples off when he entered their magnificent homes in his beaten sneakers.

As the night went on, a delicious four course dinner was served, champagne flowed and gossiping ensued. Calum’s grip on your thigh tightened whenever anyone made a passive aggressive comment at you. He knew you could handle them, nothing phased you. He thought it was hot the way you stuck up for yourself, not taking shit from anyone. He didn’t say much, none of the husbands really did. They were all far too awkward to engage in the conversations between the women of the show. One moment people were best friends, the next they were rowing over the smallest of passing comments. That was the Real Housewives for you.

“How’s Aidan doing?” Emily asked you. “How old is he now?” “He’s eight months as of last Thursday,” you told them. “He’s the best, really. He’s perfect, isn’t he babe?” Calum nodded. “Well let’s hope he takes after you Calum. It would be such a shame if he inherited your real nose, y/n,” Ursula commented. Anastasia nearly choked on her drink. There was a clatter of cutlery next to you when Calum dropped his knife and fork onto his plate. “What did you just say?” He riled up. “What the fuck did you just say?” “I said it would be a shame if your son got y/n’s real nose, the one before the nose job we all know she had,” the producers were loving this. “Don’t act like I’m the only one in this room who’s had a little cosmetic surgery,” you remained calm. Calum was tense next to you. “Apologise to my wife, Ursula,” he was mad. “Now.” Ursula didn’t apologise, a smirk plastered across her face. Calum stood from his seat suddenly, making Edward jump a little. “Apologise you fucking horrible woman. Never talk about my wife or my son again.” Calum ripped his jacket off of the back of his chair so forcefully the chair toppled over. He stormed out of the dining room as everyone sat in a stunned silence.

You cleared your throat. “I think we’re leaving,” you said, following your husband out of the house. “Calum!” You called after him as he paced down the front garden. The cameras were still following you. “Baby, hey. It’s okay,” you told him, your hands placed on his arms to calm him down. He was still so angry. “They can’t fucking say those things, not about our baby, not about you.” His jaw was clenched as he rang for a cab. “They’re just looking for a reaction and you gave it to them, baby. Don’t let them get to you,” you soothed. You didn’t speak much on the way home, leaving Calum to his thoughts now the cameras were out of his face. The two of you undressed in silence once you were home. Hanging your dress back up in your closet, you sighed. “Are you okay, baby?”

Calum was lay on top of the sheets of your bed in his black boxers, scrolling through his phone. “For the record, y/n. I loved your old nose,” he said, making you smile. He caught you gaze and a small grin crept onto his face. “God I’m so glad we left. I was thinking of a way for us to leave for ages.” “Are you fucking serious, Calum,” you laughed. “Did you fake an argument so we could storm out?” He shrugged. “I may have exaggerated my anger a little. They still shouldn’t say those things though,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple as your crawled onto the bed next to him. “Ursula is a fucking bitch.” “You’re incredible,” you told him.

#calum hood #calum hood imagine #Calum Thomas Hood #husband!calum #calum hood angst #dad!calum #cal imagine #cal x reader #calum x reader #my works #ch #5sos #dad!sos #5sos imagine

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oliverwxod · 6 years ago

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Whatever it takes - Part 1 (Steve Rogers imagine)

Pairing: Angel!Steve x Demon!Reader (also there will be a fair bit of Demon!Bucky! x Demon!Reader)

Warnings: Swearing, angst, mind games, smut in later parts (Fuckbuddy!Bucky lol)

Summary: Angels and Demons have been sworn enemies their whole lives, that’s just how it is. When Bucky decides to go against these unsaid rules, it brings a set of consequences into the lives of those who spend time with him. In Y/n’s case that consequence is an angel named Steve Rogers.

Teaser part

A/N: Hey guys!! So this is a new fic and will have probably like 10 parts to it, hope you like it!! Message me if you want to be tagged xxx

Masterlist

Angels and demons all live on earth. They're all around, mixed into the world living among humans. It's the best way to do their respective jobs. There was a whole under world community of them around; Not just angels and Demons but other mythical creatures; vampires, werewolves, warlocks, the list goes on.

Humans were almost fully unaware of the people who lived around them, very few knowing that these mythical creatures were real... They would never know if they encountered one; they looked the same as the everyday average person. Only mythical creatures could tell who was who, the only two creatures that were harder to identify were Angels and Demons. They were good at morphing into a personality that was not theirs.

Angels and demons were life long enemies, a burning hatred between them since the day they landed on the ground. Angels discarded demons as being reckless; disruptive and manipulative, it was true, they were. It was not clever to get involved with them.

Demons discarded Angels as prudish, naive and boring. They stuck to their rules acting as if they were gods gift... Looking down on demons, with their heads held high a radiant confidence of superiority.

Both Y/n and Bucky had been friends since demons first made their way into the human population. They loved to wreck havoc on the world. They were a troublesome pair, ‘partners in crime’ some would say. They were competitive with each other, always testing each other's limits. But they were demons... They didn't have limits which was why it was so fun.

The both of them were always playing life games. How many humans they could get with on a night out. How many humans could they be home wreckers too. It was a dangerous game, but it kept things exciting.

Several times an angel was sent to where they had caused trouble, being scolded and moved on so they wouldn't cause a scene, always laughing it off and frustrating the angels. Winding up an angel was almost as fun as destroying other peoples lives.

The both of them were at a small bar playing a game of how many shots they could handle, along with 2 humans they had coerced into joining them. Humans were always compelled by demons, there was a certain pull humans had towards them making it hard to resist.

Y/n and Bucky were smirking at each other across the table, watching the two humans down their 11th shot of vodka that night.

"Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up" one of them spoke, standing up hurriedly and running to the toilets.

"Don't think God will hear you" Bucky said smirking, his eyes meeting Y/n’s with a knowing look.

"Fuck, me too" the other spoke, slamming a hand over their mouth as they followed the person before them.

Y/n leaned back in her seat laughing loudly as Bucky stared unimpressed at the empty spaces.

"Weak" he spoke before throwing a shot back, Y/n doing the same.

She watched as his eyes flicked over to the bar briefly before landing back on Y/n.

"Humans just can't hold their alcohol" she spoke grinning, tracing her top lip with her index finger making sure her red lipstick was still in tact.

She caught Bucky's eyes flicking over to the bar again, turning around to see what was catching her attention.

Y/n's eyes widened at the brightness, squinting slightly. She could see the side profile of a woman who she assumed Bucky was staring at. She had long red hair but that wasn't what caught her attention.

What shocked her was the white glow surrounding her. An angel.

Y/n had always been able to identify Angels, even if they were strong Angels who could hide their auroras.

Y/n could always see them.

She wondered if Bucky could tell they were Angels. The red head with her head held high, her posture up right with the utter most elegance. The man she was with turned around, Y/n having to look away for a second.

This guy was hardly even trying to hide his aurora. It was blindingly bright creating a pain in her eyes momentarily as she blinked. But it soon died down as if the Angel had forgotten to hide it.

Now Y/n could clearly make out his face. He was tall and muscular for an angel. She barely saw many Angels around so wouldn't fully know what they stereo typically looked like anymore.

Angels didn't exactly come to places like this. A bar, where alcohol existed, a place where people came to dance and sin. Normally ending up having causal hook ups on the toilet cubicles.

This mans face was what really took her a back. He held a strong expression as if he didn't want to be here. His eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown as he crossed his arms in disapproval at his surroundings. His jaw clenched showing just how sharp his jaw line was, that in itself was sinful to her. A smirk tugging at her lips.

He was doing what every angel ever did. Looking down on others, whether he was meaning to or not was a question Y/n didn't really care about.

"You think shes pretty?" Y/n asked, nodding her head towards the woman at the bar. Bucky nodded. Maybe he hadn't noticed she was an Angel yet.

"You should go over and introduce yourself" she spoke, smirking and raising one eyebrow up at him. A look he knew very well.

"Maybe not" Bucky spoke.

"I bet you to do it" she spoke, eyes narrowing as she waited for him to accept her challenge. He had to, it's what they did.

"Fine" he spoke, shooting her a quick wink before heading in the direction of the woman. Y/n saw how Bucky approached the two angels at the bar.

She could see the mans gaze follow Bucky, a glare on his features as he went to move in front of the woman.

Y/n quickly jumped up from her position making her way towards them and sliding herself in between where Bucky had now reached the woman and the man. She caught the eye of the bar tender ordering herself a drink.

She could feel the stare of the man she had just cut off from helping his friend, his angel gaze burning into her skin; but she ignored him, pretending he wasn't there. Y/n could tell that he knew what she was.

After receiving and paying for her drink she finally turned to the side to meet his stare.

"Can I help you?" She asked rolling her eyes. She was a demon, she had to act like one.

"Tell your little demon friend to back off" he spoke glaring at her still.

"And here I was thinking Angels were meant to be nice" she spoke pouting sarcastically.

"I'm willing to bet this is all a game" he spoke "so get him to leave her alone before I force him too".

"Ooooh I didn't think Angels could bet" Y/n spoke, a mischievous look on her face, eyes darkening at the sense of excitement. Steve frowned at her. Demons were manipulative. He shook his head trying to calm himself down.

"Well... I'm willing to bet that your friend doesn't even know my friend is a demon" she spoke. "much like in going to bet that my friend doesn't know your friends an angel".

Steve cocked one eyebrow in confusion. This is what demons do, he reminded himself. They played with the mind.

"Stop it. I'm not betting anything." He stared at her, jaw clenching tightly.

"You're cute for an angel" she spoke smirking up at him. She watched as he turned flustered. His cheeks heating up, stuttering over his words.

"I know what you're trying to do" he said, gritting his teeth.

"What do you mean?" She asked softly, pouting.

"I- I - well you're- you-".

"Aww I've left you speechless, how cute. So... Your place or mine" she asked scanning him head to toe. Steve shuffled from foot to foot, trying to keep his balance as her words shocked him.

"What?" He coughed clearing his throat.

"I'm only messing, I don't even know your name... Not that that's ever stopped me before" she said flashing him an innocent smile, contradicting every word that left her mouth moments ago.

All that came out of his mouth was "Steve, my names- uh Steve".

"You don't sound too sure" she spoke smiling smugly.

"Well, yes, my names Steve, definitely Steve".he said more confidently.

"That’s cute... Fits the whole innocent vibe you've got going on." She said raising her brows suggestively.

"I've told you my name, it's only fair you tell me yours." Steve spoke, some of his original angel confidence coming back.

"Someone knows how to talk to demons" she spoke surprised at his bargaining. "but when has a demon ever been fair?" She questioned.

Steve frowned, watching as she took a sip of her drink, he watched as she licked her lips... It was sinful how he saw her bite her lip so seductively, in thought before turning back to give him attention. Steve had to look away and mentally talk himself out of finding her attractive. He knew that’s just what demons did, they played on other people using seduction and emotional games.

"Y/n" she spoke, meeting his eyes in confidence a knowing smirk on her face that made Steve frown.

TAGS:

Forever tags:

@dreambigbeawesome @hellosafie @linheliano @extreme-supernatural-lover @thisismysecrethappyplace @mannls @1elboomdemsechevarria @what-the-hell-is--a-hufflepuff @myrabbitholetoneverland @jbarnes87 @permanent-lines @alyssaj23 @piensa-bonito @maresmiley @soldierplum @jjsoccer11 @les-bio-lie @dewy-biitch @despelllestrange

Bucky Barnes tags: (it’s going to have a lot of Bucky x reader in but if you don’t wanna be tagged just message me xx)

@tranquility-or-chaos @analovesseb @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @australianhorrorstory @chloe-skywalker @bexboo616

Whatever it takes tags:

@melimelbean @piensa-bonito @midnightmondaze @maladaptive-ninja-returns @delusionsofnostalgia @sectumsempra-beaches @marveldivergentouatdctvfangirl @rainbowkisses31 @black-sunday1412 @jcc04220 @albinotigerpython @tatertot1097 @hiken-no-stark @theshekinahb

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fmdsuran · 6 years ago

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✧ *･ﾟ HAVE YOU EVER encountered someone that looked like a goddess or a doll on the outside, but after taking the time to get to know them, you slowly begin to realize that where confidence should exist lies layers of insecurity, self-doubt, and sadness ? that, or have you ever met a person that was so fortunate and lucky in various ways, but can’t help but spiral into bouts of depression due to loneliness, and lack of genuine human connection ? have you ever listened to the iconic hit LUCKY BY BRITNEY SPEARS ? if you answered yes to all, or some, of these q’s, then you’ve already had a glimpse into the life and times of my precious princess, the stunning SEO SURAN —- lipstick’s sub rapper, sub vocal, and child actress turned idol��! if you don’t feel like reading her bio, i 100% feel you, fam, so i’ll do you a favor and provide you some fun facts below the cut that you can read up on ! what’s even better is that i’ll give you some plot ideas, too, to make plotting with me EVEN EASIER. with all that said, feel free to hit the heart in the corner to lmk if you’d like to plot with me, and if you do, i’ll love you foreva and eva ! oh, i almost forgot lmao... you all can call me ryan btw ! i’m 18+ and a self-proclaimed bad bih lol it’s nice to meet’cha 💋

B A C K S T O R Y —-

suran was born to a former screenwriter (current film/tv reviewer) and his wife, a full-time stay at home mother, in seoul, south korea. from a very young age, she was beckoned to be a critical thinker —- her friends often loathed watching cartoons with her as she’d judge them based on their animation, writing, and so on. all of them would say that she doesn’t just sit back and enjoy them because she’s been raised to ask questions and analyze creative work. however, this made her a great student when it came to school, and she developed a love for learning at a young age.

around the age of eight years old, she decided that she wanted to be an actress. after spending long hours studying how it was done by the men and women on tv, she had a hunch that she’d be able to do it with ease. then, not long after, with her father’s connections, she was able to make her acting début in a drama called ‘ballad of seodong’ —- a historical piece where she played the younger version of the drama’s main character, princess seonhwa of silla. after that, she went on to star in another drama, then after, two feature films; one of those being a main role for her!

needless to say, she was a hardworking child; one that made her mom and dad super proud. however, when her contract with the acting agency ended, she was approached by bc entertainment. they discovered a few options for her —- representing her as an actress was mentioned, but the other option they provided seemed slightly better to her. they made a deal with her that they’d give her an easy début in an idol group so she could make a bigger name for herself, and at the time, she didn’t see anything wrong with that and decided to accept, and soon after, in 2010, she became a bc trainee.

while she envisioned this to be a great time of learning and accomplishment, it was anything but —- the trainee lifestyle kind of really destroyed her. body dysmorphia tw there was constant talk about diet and beauty, and whenever she looked around her, she found that everyone else was so graceful and glamorous. she felt like she didn’t meet their standards, and she became anxious about it. she started to look in the mirror and hate her appearance. being that she wasn’t quite talented at singing and dancing, she knew that beauty and personality were going to have to be her tickets to debut, so she spent almost all the money she made as a child actress on cosmetic surgery. within the two year time span that she trained, she got her eyelids, forehead, nose, jawline, and breasts done.

bc entertainment found this brave of her, and after she’d fully recovered, they decided to take a chance on her and put her in the lineup of lipstick. they wanted to use her for visual appeal more than outward talent, and she became a spectacle; an ornament almost. she loved and hated all this attention.

a few years pass and bc helps her land her first acting gig in years, and she couldn’t be more excited. however, when it’s announced, and when it later airs, netizens began to realize that they had seen her name before, and they pulled up old photos of her as a kid in the dramas and movies she starred in. when they put two and two together and saw that she looked like a drastically different person now, they were appalled; calling her a fraud as she’s made comments in the past about natural health and beauty.

due to this, her performance in ‘discovery of love’ wasn’t regarded as anything special and she fell into a deep depression; realizing that her past insecurities only came to ruin her life in present day.

after that, she spent years in a dark depression and became disinterested in being an idol, in being in lipstick. so much pressure was put on her —- be beautiful, be thin, be effervescent on camera, be appealing to the masses... and when she couldn’t fulfill all of those, she felt hopeless; she felt like a failure. everyone seemed to hate her, and she was so regretful of all she’d done leading up to this point.

however, after a few years of suffering, bc finally guided her into another acting opportunity once negative talk of her died down to a slow simmer, and it helped rouse her from this slump for quite awhile. the filming process kept her distracted, and she loved the character she portrayed, and when it was announced to the public, they had mixed reactions. all of them wondered why they’d cast her, but when the show aired, it became a cultural phenomenon in all of korea. ‘goblin’ now sits as one of the nation’s highest rated televised dramas, and after watching her thrilling performance as the leading female role, netizens grew soft for her; their opinions completely changingh

this drastic change has been so good to her that she doesn’t even believe she deserves it. she’s grateful for it though, and would rather be seen as some sort of angel to the nation instead of a fraud. what stresses her out now though is the pressure to keep this image going. she’s terrified of what’d happen if she fell from grace again, so she’s constantly on her best behavior —- not wanting anymore scandals to ruin her.

overall, her personality is really sweet. there’s a coldness to her because she’s afraid of what people think of her initially, but once she warms up to you, she’ll be a great friend. she’s fiercely loyal and really just wants to be loved.

C O N N E C T I O N S —-

another child actress/actor who was friends with suran since they were signed under the same agency when they were little. now that they’re both idols, they’re taking it to mean that fate really wants their friendship to last forever, so they’re doing all they can to make that happen. must’ve been an active actor/actress from 2004-2010.

a person that she trained in bc with (2010-2012) that she was able to share her secrets and insecurities with, and every time she went under the knife, they were there for her. really, they would try to convince her that she was beautiful as is, but she had the worst time believing them due to her dysmorphia. however, they’re still friends to this day, and they’ll forever be confidantes.

someone who has no idea why she’s even in lipstick since she doesn’t have that much talent when it comes to singing and dancing. she doesn’t get a lot of lines in their songs, but somehow, manages to be center a lot and it infuriates them that she’s given any spotlight at all.

an ex-boyfriend of her that really didn’t give a shit about her and only really wanted her as arm candy, and once he realized she had a lot of baggage, broke up w her.

an ex-girlfriend from the rough period of her time as an idol (2014-2016) who she broke up with because she was too insecure, and felt she was undeserving of her love. they’re still lowkey soft for each other, but lord knows if they’ll get back together rip.

a current romantic interest of her’s (male preferred) who, for the first time in forever, is patient enough with her to stick around and helps her feel better about herself. however, he doesn’t want to make things official just yet and it makes her sad because she’s falling deep in love with him.

a girl who had her first lesbian/bi experience with suran that’s a bit obsessed with her because of it, but she doesn’t know how to tell them that she doesn’t feel the same way.

lots and lots of fwb plots, please! men, women, whatever... she likes sex.

someone that’s made her their muse, and often paints pictures of her, writes poetry about her, or whatever, but they’re too scared to tell her or show her what they’ve done.

a man who listed her as his ideal type, but it led to her getting backlash from his fans, so now their relationship is awkward and she’s scared to be seen in public with him lol.

a woman who she said was her ideal type as a joke, but she’s actually not joking at all and she desperately wants to get to know her better —- as friends or as fwbs or wtv.

people that help her with dancing, singing, and rapping! she’s not the worst that there is in the industry, but she still feels as though she’s lacking since she skated through training based on her looks alone. please help her tysm.

a younger man that she’s having a fwb relationship with and she loves spoiling him since he hasn’t paid off his debt from training yet, lol. make her a sugar mama pls.

really... i’m up for anything! so please let me know if none of these appeal to you so we can plot something else! love you all and thanks for reading!

#* / 𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐓. ‹ introduction. ›#* / 𝐎𝐎𝐂. ‹ ryan speaks. ›

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