#[[ this is too long pls don't feel obligated at all it just needed a lot of exposition asjdfak

[emmyrosee]

EMMY MY DEAREST MY BABY MY BELOVED <333

could I be a bit greedy and make another teeny tiny request?? you don’t have to feel obligated to do it AT ALL if you don’t want to!!! I’ve just been having an interesting time lately and you do comfort so well ☹️

genuinely all I’ve wanted all week is to be babied a bit/taken care of/pampered/absolutely smothered with soft gentle affection by atsumu when he starts to notice I’m getting overwhelmed or burnt out :(

I think he’d be good at catching it before it gets too out of control and keeping me sane. he wouldn’t let me lift a finger and he’d be so over the top with his physical affection cuz he knows I love that 😕

I feel so bad bc I feel like I’ve been bugging you a lot lately so pls pls pls don’t feel like you have to!!! I completely understand, there’s no pressure 🫶🏻🫶🏻

anon <3

YOU HAVENT BUGGED ME IN LIKE. FOUR MONTHS HUSH YOUR CUTE FACE- EVEN IF YOU DID SEND ME ANYTHING RECENTLY, YOURE NOT A BOTHER AND I LOVE YOU 😠❤️

he catches it pretty much immediately, with how you were clinging to him a little bit more than usual last night, brows seemingly forever pinched in the middle of your head and your fingers fisting the collar of his night shirt. he didn't say anything, but he definitely makes a note to keep an eye on it.

especially when, the next morning, you turn to your side to let him get ready for practice, and you hike the blankets higher and screw your eyes shut to try and tune him out.

he sees this, and crawls his body back into bed, mind now only focusing on taking care of you before you drown.

"peepee-poopoo," he whispers, hanging his head upside down to look at you, his blonde hair hanging shaggily. "where's my fighty baby this morning, hmm?"

you shrug and avoid his eyes, and pulls his head back to take this more seriously, "c'mere. come talk to me."

"you have to go-"

"i don't have to do a thing," he assures. he's quick to take out his phone and text coach that he's not going to make it, but he doesn't tell you that because the last thing you need is worrying about him missing a day to care for you.

which is one of his favorite things to do- but you fight him on it constantly. and he hopes today you're compliant enough to let him be here for you.

"do you want to talk about it?" he asks, gently rubbing his knuckles over your shoulder, and when you shake your head, he leans over your body again to kiss your cheek. "okay," he whispers, lingering for a minute before pulling back to head to the kitchen to make you breakfast.

breakfast, that was supposed to be in bed, but you worked up the courage to wade into the kitchen not long after him. "hey-" you begin, but you're cut off by the yelp from his lips and the dropping of an egg square to the floor, which you both look at blankly.

he starts to snicker, "whups."

"sorry."

he clicks his tongue, "shut up- come get a kiss," he says, stepping over the egg and pulling you into a hug, and his shoulders relax when you loosen in his arms. he sponges kisses to the crown of your head, "don't ever be sorry for something i did. it wasnt your fault."

you immediately tense back up, and atsumu knows his hit the nail on the head with it, and you burrow your face deeper into his chest and he tightens his grip on you to keep you grounded. "go back to bed," he soothes. "im with you today-"

"i dont want to be so far from you," you say, and he smiles as you dont put up an argument, dont scold him for staying, but his heart sinks slightly at the idea that youre so in your head all you can think about is him right now. "not today. can i stay?"

"id be bummed if you didn't," he says. he smirks and scoops you in his massive arms, relishing in the giggles you let you as he carries you and sets you on the counter, where he then feeds you slices of fruit while your eggs sear on the oven. he feeds you breakfast bite for bite, placing a straw in some water for you to drink before carrying you to the bathroom, where he tells you to brush your teeth.

you get shy, "can... do you think... maybe-"

"yeah," he smiles. "open up, babe."

he brushes your teeth, sure to get all the areas the dentist warns him about, before pulling back with a happy sigh and holding out his hand.

you quirk a brow, "what?"

"spit it into my hand."

"ew!" you laugh, and god it truly is his favorite sound, and you turn your head to spit the froth in the sink. "youre nasty."

"and you picked me first. too late to question your choice."

"yet i do every day."

"little fucker," he snickers, and when he makes a move to tickle you, you dart away, laughter ringing in the air as he barrels down after you, down the hall and into the bedroom, where he tackles you onto the bed. "i made you breakfast and this is the thanks i get?" he sighs, playfully punching your tummy, successfully dodging your hands to try and still his barely touching fists.

"l-learn from osamu," you manage, and his jaw slacks at your audacity while you giggle more in anticipation.

"you're annoying," he snorts, leaning down to nibble your ear and neck while his fingers spider up your sides, you shriek and shove his shoulders weakly. he stops and kisses the rest of the giggles from your lips, and he hums when you wrap your arms around his neck. when he pulls away, you mewl and tug him closer. he shushes you easily, "not going anywhere babydoll, i promise."

and he doesn't. he doesn't go anywhere, merely rolling you both onto your sides where he cradles you close, cupping the back of your head protectively as you burrow into him.

every now and then, he feels your shoulders tense up and quiver, as if you're fighting tears, but he doesn't make you say anything. not until you're ready to.

and when you are, he's there, his thumb gently stroking the back of your head while your tears soak into his shirt. he shushes you softly when your cries turn to sobs, or your breathing picks up too much for his comfort.

he reminds you he's not going anywhere, ever, he's got your back no matter what, and if it takes one day or fifteen, he's more than happy to stay in that bed, brush your teeth, feed you food, anything to keep you from drowning in your own anxieties and thoughts.

"thank you for telling me," he whispers every now and again. "im so proud of you."

"im so tired, atsumu... i don't know what to do anymore."

he screws his eyes shut as your voice cracks, "you're doing great, angel. keep doing what you're doing, because its your best, and its more than enough. and i'm sorry the world hasn't let you think it has been.

"you're more than enough. please keep going for me, okay?"

"okay..."

"I love you."

"I love you too atsu..."

[munsonshire]

Eddie Munson as your boyfriend

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader (gender Neutral)

Disclaimer: Eventhough this are some headcanons I might warn you that this is long af

Warning: Use this freely on your fics but pls give credit

Masterlist

He gives the most obvious side eyes ever, You sometimes have to call him out because they are too obvious and he could get in trouble

He will get out of bed quietly when he can't sleep, take his guitar and get out of the bedroom then start playing music loudly

He makes a lot of sarcastic jokes

Will ask you for help when planning his next campaign, and will let you co-lead said campaign as you have also helped

He has this weird obsession with your ass where he will try to grab and squeeze whenever he can (consensual of course)

Contrary to popular belief I don't think that Eddie doesn't care about his hair, I think he does and that those curls aren't as wild as they seem, he makes them look that way, If he didn't then his hair would look even more wild.

When he gets bored he likes to draw on your arms with a marker (erasable).

He always ends up with random scratches, he never knows how but it happens, Sometimes you have to take care of those scratches.

He likes to cuddle with you, and NEEDS to cuddle with you, The poor boy is touch-starved but at the same time, when you touch him too much he can get overstimulated, so he'll tell you when it's enough

All the dice and little figures he has are because he finds them in the floor or somewhere, repaints, and heeps them, he has gifted you so many dice that you now have them all in a jar.

You gifted him a Polaroid camera, and you still don't know if it was a good or bad idea, he will pull that camera whenever he can and take the most horrible pictures of you, like sleeping or similar.

Has struggled with eating disorders in the past, you try to keep an eye on him and make sure that he's eating well but at the same time try not to force him so it doesn't feel like an obligation.

- Okay, so, generally we tend to think of Eddie as this metal guy and so badass, but tbh I see him as the guy that would crouch down and tie your shoelaces if you ask him to or if he sees that they are untied because he doesn't want you to get hurt. Or, if he's in more of a goofy mood he will crouch down and tie your shoelaces together so that you fall, and he obviously has a laughing fit before even thinking of helping you but then he asks you if you're okay and kisses you.

- He's the kind that will surprise you with gifts, those are usually things that you've said you wanted but didn't get because they were too expensive. He's very attentive of your especial interests and wants to get you something with meaning

He gives you his jacket whenever it's cold

He likes to stay in and watch movies and cuddle

Tries his best to comfort you

Likes to play around in the rain with you, you both usually get soaking wet in the rain and end up covered in mud.

When it rains or he just took a shower and his hair is all wet he likes to shake his hair and soak you, he thinks its extremely fun

he holds your face with both hands

likes to kiss the top of your head

After spending so much time together he starts picking up your gestures, habits, and tics even without noticing. But if you pick up one of his habits/tics, like sticking out your tongue when concentrated, he notices it and teases you about it

Likes to get way too close to your face/ear to say something

Very curious about you and your past, he wants to know a lot about you to understand you better

Constantly tells you everything he likes about you

Moves a lot while talking

Lots of LOTR and metal references that he will explain if you don't get them, he never wants you to feel stupid when you two are talking.

Makes you a dnd character in case you ever want to join, which you probably will, considering the amount of time that he's made you sit and watch one of his campaigns and that sometimes you too get too invested in the storylines. This character will appear in the dnd campaigns, even if you don't play, at first the hellfire club members didn't know who this mysterious character was but after meeting you it was so damn obvious

will take you to all the Corroded Coffin rehearsals and little concerts, he likes to dedicate one or two songs to you

likes to mark his territory so if you're talking to someone in the hallway his mf will appear out of nowhere and hug you from behind, leaving a little kiss on your neck, and then leave again, During that interaction he will glare at whoever you're talking to.

if he sits behind you in class, he will spend it kicking your chair to get your attention

he loves making you laugh at his silly jokes

Sneaks through your window whenever he wants, he's hungry? you better have something to eat. Can't sleep? You're gonna be his personal teddy bear. Needs to talk? Now you have a career in psychology, congratulations. Better listen to him when he gets there or he's gonna be throwing rocks at your window all night/day

explains all of dnd to you

Finds hair ties on the floor and gives them to you even if you told him thousands of times that that is not hygienic at all but he ignores you - you still thank him anyway

Likes it when you do his hair

He loves to braid your hair, doesn't really know how but at least he tries

Hugs you from behind, sometimes giving you heart attacks

Sloopy neck kisses, he loves it because it makes you giggle

Likes to hum and sing to you when you can't sleep

He likes to take your hand and trace all the lines in it, then he gives it a little squeeze

Always holds your thigh while driving

Makes you laugh when you're mad at him, that makes you even more mad

He makes a confused face whenever you talk to him about something that he doesn't know about or something he doesn't understand

Has no filter, because he trusts you

If you say you like one of his rings he'd probably give it to you and laugh when he sees that it doesn't fit your fingers. Then he will find some kind of lace to put the ring through it so that you can wear it as a necklace.

Likes to stargaze with you

likes to run his fingers along your skin, especially your back because it makes you shiver

He keeps flirting with you even if you've been dating for the longest time

Loves to pick little fights with you, never serious, just for fun

Would get a tattoo of something that reminds him of you

Asks you to tutor him when he doesn't understand a class, usually math or something like that. Tutoring lessons usually end up with one of you on top of the other while making out

Loves to pull pranks on you and scare you. But he usually gets slapped or something, because idk you but I get aggressive when someone scares me

Will try to teach you how to play guitar

He has the messiest bedhead ever

Hand-holding while sleeping

Puts his hand in your back pocket when you go out together

Comforting each other after nightmares

holds your hand and swings your arms obnoxiously together, he loves to see you laugh and stumble around

He loves your smile and makes you smile at every chance he gets

Venting to each other, asking first obviously.

He puts his hand on your thigh when he drives

He insists on you sitting on his lap, even if there are other chairs to sit

If you ask for one of his shirts and he's in the mood to annoy you he will tell you to take the one he's wearing

- "Eddie, can I have one of your shirts?"

- "Yeah, come and get it"

- "Where is it?"

- "It's on me sweetheart"

- *you look at him confused* "What do you mean?"

- "I mean, take it off me"

- "Eddie..."

- "What? You wanted my shirt"

- "Okay okay, fine, ill take it"

If you have trust issues he's always reassuring you that he loves you. He has abandonment issues so better remind and reassure him that you still love him

Going out dressed up in Halloween. Scaring kids till they pee their pants

He made you a matching guitar pick necklace like the one he has

Hugs you when you're sad

Likes to play fight but if you fight back, he will lose it

Has an irrational fear of doctors/dentists and will throw a tantrum if you take him to one

Bites as a form of showing affection

When it's raining heavily he loves to take you to this one spot in the woods that he calls "his spot" so you both can scream about whatever it is that has been bothering you, Once you feel better you will dance under the rain

He blinks like 100 times before a staring contest and he gets so competitive, he NEEDS to win

If his eyeliner runs and he smears it he will come up with the excuse that it's his new metal way to wear it, just because he's too lazy to take it off and put it on again

Smirks and shrugs when you ask him how he's able to stay up all night and still have energy the rest of the day, he just teases you about not being able to do it yourself

After the attack, whenever you ask to see his scars to know if they are healing he will lift his shirt and hold it between his teeth, mumbling something about how the bruising is fading. And the MF will smirk because he knows that you're having a hard time trying to focus on the scars and not stare at his shirtless torso

Reads his favorite books aloud for you to fall asleep. He LOVES when you fall asleep with him near you because it shows how comfortable and safe you feel around him.

Puts your hair behind your ears and brushes your hair out of your face whenever you're talking with him because he wants to see your face

Likes to ask you for outfit advice, but he just shows up with two almost identical band T-shirts

He loves it when you mess with his hands, like, if you're anxious and take his hand and start playing with his fingers, he loves that shit, and also if you take his rings and put them in your fingers

[joejhang]

my input into the thea discourse in the aftg fandom

tw: rape, SA, abuse, violence

spoilers ahead !!! full disclosure: these are my opinions and no one is obligated to agree w me but if u don't i'm literally begging u pls explain urself properly in replies or just don't engage. it's rlly not that deep i just can't w mfs who just say shit like "ur wrong" without giving it any real thought and acting mature and explaining their opinion. if ur a hardcore thea hater/lover honestly just do the smart thing and don't even read on. thanks pooks !!!

gotta preface this by saying: i am not a thea hater. she's done a lot of things wrong that i'll go into but i don't have a strong hatred or even dislike for her. that being said i'm fully aware that if there's anything that will get the aftg fandom riled up it's thea muldani or the extra content. one of those.

first off, i'm well aware that thea is very much a victim of the nest, as much as jean or kevin. and also we don't even fully know how deeply thea was entrenched in the shit that went down in the nest, all we know is that she probably didn't abuse kevin or jean the way others did, considering how she interacts w them in tsc. one of the main criticisms i see of thea is how she "handled" the whole situation w riko and kevin and finding out all of riko's abuse. ppl didn't like her "no harm no foul" attitude re: kevin's broken hand. i get this, considering it wasn't rlly "no harm no foul" given the lasting trauma left on kevin from the incident, and also how long he spent recovering. that shit leaves a long-term impact on ppl and riko still remains kevin's abuser, and thea was wrong for considering it to be "no harm no foul" bc there was harm done. that being said, i think ppl need to be aware that the nest was very much a cult, as neil so aptly puts it. and tbh i have had very little experiences w these sort of environments but i do know that the nest's mentality likely had a long-term impact on thea asw. no matter how deep the abuse went w the other ravens, they were all still subject to the deep-rooted competition and fear that everyone experiences in the nest. idk the full extent of it, but it's pretty safe to assume that thea (given how good of a player she is) is pretty deep in all the cult mentality. this isn't an easy thing to just grow out of, and a lot of the brainwashing that went on in the nest probably stuck w thea and contributed to her responses to finding out exactly what happened to jean and kevin in the nest.

one of the things i most dislike abt thea is the whole conversation between her and jean in tsc. i appreciate that she cares about jean and sort of took him under her wing, but i feel like what rlly stuck w me abt it all was the whole "tell me you weren't up to your old tricks again" line. obv this pissed a lot of ppl off in the fandom too, so i'm just gonna say my piece briefly; thea referring to the older ravens repeatedly raping jean on riko's orders as jean's "tricks" is fucked up. she probably didn't know that jean wasn't consenting and she didn't know riko ordered it, but she did know that jean was a child at the time and can't legally give consent, and she did know that it wasn't like he fucked his way up to the top cos he's had his number from the beginning. she was an adult at the time, and should've done more to protect jean. still, it's obvious why she didn't, cos again, she was also a victim of the nest, and was definitely not in the best position to help jean. that being said, her line does imply that it was jean's choice/fault for messing around and the wording is just pretty fucked, so i'm not gonna completely absolve her of any responsibility in this convo just cos she was also a victim.

another thing i see when ppl r responding to thea criticism is referring to the criticism as victim blaming. tbf, a good amount of it probably is, but i think there are still a lot of things to criticise about her, and just dismissing it as "blaming the victim" is a disservice to the ppl trying to make a valid point. stating that the way thea responded to finding out abt riko's abuse towards jean and kevin was wrong and careless isn't victim blaming. victim blaming is, as the term suggests, blaming the victim of a situation for the situation they're in. listen. thea is not a victim of riko's abuse, at least not in the same way jean and kevin are. thea was a victim of the nest, yes, but it's pretty clear that what jean and kevin experienced was out of her hands, and not on the same level (esp jean. idk what rlly went down between kevin and riko before the hand breaking incident). at the end of the day, i think the way thea dealt w the issue of riko and his treatment of kevin and jean was thoughtless, and pretty dismissive. but it also bears remembering that there wasn't much for her to do by the time she found out. riko died shortly afterwards, kevin took his place as the best striker on the court and jean was sent to the trojans to heal and recuperate. her response could've been more...sensitive (i don't think that's the right word but we'll go with it) but still, y'all will complain, but what was she supposed to do? nora already stated that she was angry at riko, but riko died soon after and other than her anger, there was nothing else for thea to do in her response.

lastly, another argument levelled at thea is re her relationship w kevin. i actually am not sure abt their age gap (i think kevin was 15 and thea was 18 when they first met???) but i do know that their relationship didn't start properly until kevin was an adult and a player for the ravens. i really don't see the problem with this, considering three years (as far as i know, it is three years) isn't a HUGE gap in maturity and by the time they were together they were both very much consenting adults. as far as we know, thea didn't make any moves on kevin when he was a minor, and (if i'm correct) kevin being 18 and thea being 21 when they first properly started getting together isn't anything problematic. they're in similar stages of life, in a very close environment that's toxic, yes, but that they're both familiar with, and it's clear that the feelings they have for each other aren't the same as the violent, repressed sexual feelings held by some of the other ravens. they do genuinely care about each other on some emotional level, much as the fandom may want to deny it, and i don't really think there was anything wrong with their relationship re: consent and the age gap.

anyway, that's really all i have to say except that i do think thea is a complicated and honestly pretty realistic character, given the horrific circumstances she experienced in the nest. i think the fandom is well within their rights to criticise her actions but it bears remembering that she is just a human being and is never going to be perfect, and i think the way she acts is very real and true to her personality and circumstances and she makes a lot of mistakes, but that's just the human condition. it's also insane how much hate thea receives when she's honestly pretty on par with most of the other aftg characters on the moral "scale", if that even exists here. it's pretty baffling how much hate thea receives when she doesn't act all that differently to andrew, neil and kevin. it erases a lot of her complexity and does a disservice to her character (which, if you think about it, we don't know all that much about) to just label her as a purely "good" or "bad" character. aftg is not meant to be portraying conventionally "good" people, and i just think all the thea discourse is really interesting to put under a microscope and dissect.

thanks for reading and i will say it again: if u don't agree with me, that's fine, feel free to explain ur opinions and ur side of things. if ur just gonna be bitching and moaning abt how wrong i am or how much u hate/love thea, take it elsewhere. just don't engage. how easy is that??? just keep scrolling.

[imtheiliad]

TUMBLR BREAK ANNOUNCEMENT

hii, i am going on vacation for like the next tenish days and need a break from tumbles <3 i wrote a big long dramatic note originally but it felt too *handwaves* it's under the cut if you wanna read more about why i feel like i need to take time away, but basically i have lost some of the joy of being here and creating and havent actually taken a proper break since 2021...so yeah! if you wanna reach out on discord or if you have my number pls do! it is not a moratorium on friendship :P just the hellsite. if you want a way to contact me over the next ten days and don't have a way to do so, i will be around for the rest of today so shoot me a DM and we will figure it out! see ya on the flipside, ily!

The other thing I have kinda stopped doing more unintentionally is reblogging sets and stuff, and I really don’t know why. I feel like I used to do that a lot more, and be far more expressive in the tags cause I know that is one of my favorite things about creating so I want to give that to others as well. And it feels as tho I am fulfilling an obligation when I reblog rather than expressing my love for the creation.

I have also not been reading basically any fics and I am hoping that my new glasses will help that situation but idk that I can actually catch up to all the things that I have missed no matter how excited I was to read them 😭

It just feels like being here is more work than it’s worth and I am letting people down atm, including myself. And this is supposed to be my happy, safe, creative space and it just isn’t right now and I want it to return to that.

Right now kinda presents a perfect opportunity since I will be traveling, visiting family, meeting new people over the next ten or so days so it just works very well to take an intentional pause. also i have been meaning to take a serious break since like...may, and several things kept me from doing so, but now all those things are past-- or at least will still exist to create for when i come back. as well as complicated things in my brain coming to a head.

so! i will be gone for a bit, i think it's like ten days or so to focus on my travels and existing as a person outside my apartment and outside tumblr. And when i get back i hope to do a little celebration of sorts 😉

if you have my discord or number feel free to hmu/ chat/ check-in! and if you don't have that and would like to contact me over this time, send me a DM today and we can sort it out!

i love you all! see ya in september <3

[koerinz]

Oooo I have another ask actually!

I don't know if this is spoilery, but what was Michael's relationship like with his father, and what does he think about his father? :]

If it's spoilery, what does William think about Michael? Did he resent him or still love him all the same like his other children?

Hey North, thanks for the ask and sorry for taking so long to reply!

Ohhh good question, it’s not too spoilery but is very relevant (so going to be a long post, pls genuinely no obligation to read it all ^^”)

When Michael was little, he felt very close with William, and admired and respected him a lot. William was busy with starting up the business with Henry, but always spent time with him as much as his schedule allowed. After Evan was born and the business picked up, Michael sometimes felt ignored or confused, but he was nice enough to Evan, and still held a lot of respect for William. It was around the time when Michael was 10 that his teasing of Evan got more aggressive and reckless - his critical thinking had developed a bit, but still he couldn’t understand that his parents were actual adults with responsibilities and commitments, so he started blaming Evan for being ‘ignored’, for how he had to be the ‘older brother’ so much , and that Evan was the ‘favouite’. In a way, the bullying was to get William’s attention and for Michael to feel like he was still watching out for them I guess?? Just in a far too extreme way because of course, it led to the Bite. After this, William felt a lot of bitterness towards Michael, so their interactions were almost always superficial, uncomfortable, and brief. Despite feeling very conflicted about his father (anger, nostalgia, hurt, etc), something that was always consistent was his respect for William from when he was very young - so when William went missing in 1990 and for many years after, Michael still felt a sort of responsibility and purpose as an Afton no matter how much he tried to suppress it. By the time fnaf 3 happens in my au, Michael has an obsession with recompense, responsibility, and guilt, as if he specifically needs to end the suffering caused by his father - in the end, it’s still so much about William and Michael and their very complex relationship over the years. This stays part of his character going forward.

I could say more about it because it’s so complicated for the story but this post is way too long already hahah

Thx again for the ask!

[inkovert]

WIP Snippet Tag Game

Rules: Post a snippet you've written that you're proud of and tag 5 people

Thank you @pluttskutt for creating this tag game and tagging me to get it started! Hope you don't mind I gave it a name, feel free to change it

Tagging: @that-chibi-writer @junypr-camus @mundanemoongirl @chauceryfairytales @author-a-holmes

I was pretty excited to do this one because I have a lot of scenes that I'm proud of that I've written lately. I was torn between two that I wanted to share but chose to go with this one. I rarely post long snippets of my writing so I was hesitant to share this one, but I just don't think singling out a piece of this scene would've done it justice so - here it is!

A snippet from My Dearest Enemy. I don't think much context is needed.

CW: active grieving, death of a parent, brief mention of self-harm (to those I tagged pls don't feel obligated to read this if it is at all triggering)

Word count: 1915

A sea of faceless onlookers. A figure in the middle, centering the piece. Something was off about her. Was she naked? No. Too literal, too obvious. Black in a sea of white? No nuance to that. But something made her different from the others. A spot of abnormal in the sea of normality. 

“Would anyone be willing to read the passage on page 13 starting with ‘Clevinger arrested himself’?”

I glanced up from my sketchbook. Dead silence. Almost everyone stared down at their desks as if that would somehow make them invisible. 

Mrs. Fischer stood at the front of the class, frowning. Why she insisted on getting a bunch of jaded seniors to read out loud anymore was above me.  

To put everyone out of the misery of steeping in this awkwardness any longer, I closed my sketchbook and boldly raised a hand. 

Mrs. Fischer’s eyes brightened behind her glasses. “Thank you, Cameron, for volunteering.” 

I flipped to the page and cleared my throat before reading: “Clevinger arrested himself in mid-declamation, suspiciously. ‘Who’s Nathaniel?’ ‘Nathaniel who?’ inquired Yossarian impatiently. Clevinger skirted the trap neatly. ‘You think everybody is Jehovah. You’re no better than Raskol—”  I stopped abruptly. 

“Raskolnkov,” Mrs. Fischer said, under the assumption I was having trouble pronouncing the name. 

An intense pressure slammed into my chest like a crushing weight.  

This Raskolnkov fellow sure is a piece of work.

A tidal wave of emotions surged to the surface, crashing over me. My body grew heavy and rigid like blocks of steel, pinned beneath the weight of anguish threatening to consume me. I took quick, shallow breaths, forcing myself to stay afloat, willing the flood to recede.

“Raskol —” My voice thinned and broke with impending tears. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to regain control of myself. Not here. Not now. Not like this. 

The rustling sound of movement. I could sense heads turning in my direction. 

Faint whispers. “Is she okay?”

“Cameron? Are you alright?” Mrs. Fischer asked. 

I clamped a hand over my mouth, smothering the sob expanding like a bubble caged in my throat. I bolted up from my seat and ran for the door, ignoring the confused looks and poorly concealed murmurs of concern.

You’re never going to finish that are you?

Some day, I will. A chapter a year and I’ll be finished before you know it.

I’ll practically be in college by then!

So, it’s a deal?

My heartbeat thundered in my ears. Everything around me blurred as fresh, hot tears pooled behind my eyes, racing down my face. I clenched my teeth to quiet the sobs. The world tilted as I suddenly grew unsteady on my feet, in desperate need of a place to sit down. 

Coming up on the stairs to the upper floor, I ran up a few steps and took a seat at the landing. Heaving and sobbing hysterically, I shook out my wrists, willing myself to get a grip, terrified that I was rapidly losing control. Digging my phone out of my pocket, I furiously wiped away my tears so I could see the screen.

Who to text? 

Mira? We hadn’t talked since I blew up at her Saturday night. 

Jeremy? No, I couldn’t drag him into this. 

My grip on my phone slipped and I gasped as it clattered down the steps, sliding across the floor. 

“Fuck shit fuck!”

Hugging my knees and burying my head in my lap, I rocked back and forth, praying for this intense feeling of despair to subside. 

The faint sound of footsteps. They abruptly stopped just below me.

“Screen’s cracked.” 

My ears perked up at the familiar voice. I lifted my head. It took a second for my eyes to focus. Spencer stood at the base of the stairs holding my phone in his hand. 

I scoffed, glancing away with a sniffle. “What the hell do you want?”

“Mrs. Fischer wanted someone to check on you. I told her I’d make an attempt to look for you on my way to the bathroom.”

I rolled my eyes with a bitter laugh. “How noble of you to include me in there as an afterthought. You checked. I’m fine. You can leave.”

“Very convincing performance.”

“Seriously, Spencer, go away. I’m not in the mood.” Balancing my elbows on my knees, I hung my head, digging my fingers into my scalp. In my periphery, I watched him take two steps to lean against the railing. “God, can you please just leave?” I whined in aggravation. My heart wrenched, and any other words of protests died inside me on their way to my lips. 

I was too far gone to care how humiliating this was, falling apart in front of him, of all people. 

It didn’t matter. I was no longer in control of my body. Grief had snuck in and hijacked my nerves, rooted itself in my bone marrow. All I could do was bend to its will, heave and sob into the sleeve of my sweater until it retracted its claws from my lungs and granted me permission to breathe again. 

Slowly, gently, my sobs subsided into quiet hiccups. I folded my arms atop my knees and rested my cheek against them. “No one told me it would be like this.” I sniffled, my voice quiet and hoarse. “No one prepared me. After it happened, we just…never spoke about it. She just went on as if nothing had happened. Like if we ignored it, everything would go back to normal.” My forehead pinched in frustration, a stray tear tickling my skin as it streamed down the side of my nose before veering off course and dripping against my hand.  “I guess something inside of me wanted to believe that it was possible. That we…that I could be normal again. I’d give anything for that.”

“Seems like an awful lot of effort wasted pretending to be something you’re not.”

I furrowed my brows. Lifting my head, I regarded Spencer at the base of the stairs. 

He rested an elbow on the railing behind him, his thumb fiddling with the ring on his pointer finger. “If you ask me, it’s pretty overrated. Being normal. Whatever that means.”

I pursed my lips, then cleared my throat. “How do you figure that?”

“Normal people don't do extraordinary things. They don't make history. They're,” he shrugged, “forgettable.”

I perched my chin on my arms and stared down at him. “What if I don’t want to be remembered?”

He finally glanced up at me. “Sounds like a pretty sad existence.”

“Maybe. But can’t be any worse than the one I’m already living.”

He quirked a brow as if to say, Touche. 

I studied him. “You know, you’re not normal either.”

“Damn, really?” he said, in the world’s most disinterested tone. “What gave it away? The fact that I piss off everyone I talk to or that I stood in the middle of a hallway and cut my hand open?”

My head tottered from side to side. “You know what? I think it’s a tie.” I pressed the knuckle of my thumb against my lips to suppress a laugh. He shook his head, turning away just as the corner of his lips sloped upward in amusement. 

I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands. “My dad had to read Crime and Punishment for a lit class he was forced to take in college. He never finished it. Every time he picked it up, he’d only get a few pages in and give up. Years later, after my brother and I were born, Jeremy signed up to be the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz for a school play. A few weeks into rehearsals, he started to get bored of it and wanted to quit. My dad gave him this whole speech about how if he never finished anything he started people would assume they couldn’t rely on him. My brother, cleverly, asked my dad if he’d ever started something that he never finished. And he remembered his college lit class. He couldn’t come off as a hypocrite. He had to set an example for my brother. So he made a deal that he would finish Crime and Punishment if Jeremy saw the play through.”

 I chuckled. “Total idiot move. My brother only had to suffer for two more weeks in rehearsal. But my dad had to suffer through that book for years. A chapter a year. That was his goal. And he stuck to it.  Every December, I’d catch him up late in the middle of the night, trying to get a few pages in so he could keep his promise. That book practically lived on our coffee table. Every year the bookmark inched closer and closer to the end. We even made a game out of it, seeing who could come up with the most absurd things that would happen before Dad ever finished that book.” My breath hitched. I swallowed as fresh tears stung the back of my eyes. “I’d almost forgotten about that. And now all I can think about is…that bookmark. Staying on that same page where he left it last December. Forever.”

My voice cracked. Sniffling, I wiped at my wet cheeks in frustration. 

I blinked up at the fluorescent lights, willing the tears to stop. “It’s crazy. The different ways a person’s memory lingers. How just reading a single word in a book could make me wanna cry for days.” The ensuing silence made my skin crawl, suddenly painfully aware that maybe I had shared too much. I tugged my sleeves further over my hands. “Have you ever…lost anyone?”

His head shifted in my general direction, but he didn’t meet my eyes. 

I stiffened. “I’m sorry, that’s a really deeply personal question. You don’t have to answer that.”

He tilted his head back. To my surprise, he responded, “Yeah, I have.” I stayed quiet, giving him the space to speak, or to share in the quiet with me. “My mother.”

My heart pierced. “Oh my god. I’m so —”

“Don’t.” He cut me off. “It happened when I was really young. I don’t even remember her.”

I peered at him curiously, not understanding. “Even if you didn’t really know her, that doesn’t mean you can’t still mourn what’s missing. I know I would.” 

His head whipped up to me, eyes wide with the purest, unguarded wonder for the briefest moment. 

The shrill ring of the bell broke the spell. 

He turned away, withdrawing into himself once more. 

“Crap. I practically skipped out on the whole class. This isn’t gonna go over well.” 

“We should probably head back.” Head down, Spencer eased off the railing.

“You go ahead,” I said. He threw a curious look over his shoulder. “I’m not exactly keen on walking back into a room full of people who witnessed me having a mental breakdown.” He nodded in understanding. “But, thank you. For checking on me, and trying to comfort me…in your own way. You didn’t have to do all that.” Given how standoffish he’d been during our last few encounters, I began to wonder. “Why…did you?”

He stared down at his hands, idly twisting the silver ring on his forefinger. “I don't know," he said. "What’s the alternative?”

His response disarmed me as I slowly recognized my own words from our conversation at the Yard. A slow smile crept up my face. 

[slytherinshua]

NO FORREALSIES LIKE “how is he a victim” THE DUDE WAS BEING STRANGLED AND WAS HELD AT KNIFE POINT FUCK U MEAN HOW IS HE A VICTIM

He’s just mad the girl of his dreams doesn’t love him like that anymore 😤

side note but Doha is so baby girl but in a totally not bay girl way - this needs no explanation

also you’re so right he’d def worry abt you day and night (i did laugh a little when he shut the door in her face tho)

gosh i have so many requests for him but i don’t wanna over whelm you or anything <3

-🦦 love u btw SMOOCH

again cut for spoilers lmao ksdjksd

NAHHH CAUSE I WAS ROLLING MY EYES AT HIS LOGIC LIKE WE GET THAT UR STILL NOT OVER SOLHEE BUT I HAVE NO SYMPATHY 💀 solhee and doha are better anyway cause doha is too much of a sweetheart and im convinced he can't lie even if he WANTS to. like i swear he just doesn't have it in him to lie to anyone, bro can't even lie to the press.... IMAGINE HIM TRYING TO LIE TO YOU LIKE HE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HE'D JUST FAIL LMAO HES SO CUTE

UGH HE IS SO BABY GIRL HES JUST A CUTIE PATOOTIE FRRR 😭

it was funny but also cute and sweet like yeah don't mind the knife that is inches away from my face... lets just shut this door 🥰

feel free to send in all the requests you want cause tbh i don't feel the obligation that some writers do to complete every request that is sent in. i mean i want to, but i also want to write my own ideas as well and if i tried to complete every request, i wouldn't have any time to write things from my own thoughts, you know? but i love requests so much and so much of the time, i get a request im RLY excited for (like the doha texts for example) and i just run to do it right away. requests have helped me get out of writer's block and given me motivation to write 😭 i think that's also why i never want to close my requests. because yeah i have a lot in my inbox, but that doesn't mean there's not room for more that i might be more excited abt writing. cause im not a machine that just writes whatever is sent in, ill write the ones im rly excited abt, and tho i try to write every request, some of them have to be pushed aside for a bit because i have trouble with them

damn that was a long way of explaining that a) i love requests, b) i don't mind you sending in multiple requests, pls do it, and c) i think i have a good mentality for writing as just a hobby and handling requests (lol my sister has gotten worried in the past that i might feel pressured to write requests, but i mean that's exactly what they are: requests.)

i love u too 🫶🫶🫶 srsly having a minhyun anon is so fun!! :(

[memoriesofyccjungrk]

. : waste it on me : .

a closed starter for @rkdongmin, backdated december 25, 2018

it’s the middle of dance practice, and yoojung feels like her body’s burning. it’s not an unusual feeling, after all – she’s working as hard as anyone else in the room, and it’s just getting warmer by the minute. contemporary isn’t exactly her forte, and the fact that she’s a centre makes her want to work that much harder to perfect the routine. while she’s not entirely unfamiliar with the style and is able to pick it up faster than others, she has to work a little harder than usual. it’s refreshing really, so she’s not falling too stagnant on her skills. she appreciates the change in pace, even if it’s making her even more tired than usual, and the anxiety of the impending performance ( despite it being quite a ways away still ) was weighing on her. she was sure it’d be nice to perform on a stage again, though.

time seems to pass quickly into their next short break, the instructor shouting for them to get drinks, relax for a second – she needed to work with a select group, and yoojung was lucky enough not to be one of them. so, she’d wandered back over to where her stuff laid in one of the corners, gulping down most of the water remaining in the bottle before pulling her phone out of her duffle, just to pass the time. the break wouldn’t be long, after all, and yoojung was sure that they wouldn’t really have another any time soon – probably not even until they were let go for dinner. so, yoojung decides to scroll through her messages, answering a handful.

it isn’t until she gets to a particular message that she furrows her brow – especially at the name. dongmin hadn’t so much as talked to her for quite some time, other than sending her a christmas present that morning. she’d been so shocked he’d even remembered to send her anything that she barely knew what to say.

this, however, was different.

(( dongminnie )) he pl

upon seeing the text, yoojung swallowed – she knew what it meant. what it was supposed to say, despite the fact it was misspelled; anxiety bubbled in her chest as she stared at the message from the male. a part of her wanted to text back, ask if he was okay – but that would’ve just been a stupid question, of course he wasn’t okay. he wouldn’t have sent her the text if he was okay, she couldn’t be stupid. another part of her wants to ignore it. the male had been ignoring her for weeks after their supposed meaningless “date,” even though she knew for a fact that dongmin knew how she felt. anyone could’ve seen through her – she knew she wore her heart on her sleeve – which was why it hurt even more to have it played with. and this text – wasn’t it just that ? he knew she’d come for him if something was wrong, he was smart enough to realize that. if something was really wrong – but something had to be really wrong, right ?

she stared at the text for a moment too long, before turning the display off on her phone and hurrying back to practice the moment the instructor called them. she wanted to push it from her mind, just ignore the text altogether and not worry about it. he wasn’t her responsibility, after all – if he was going to get himself into trouble, that was his problem.

but yoojung cared too much. and as much as she didn’t want it affecting her, she knew her heart wasn’t all in the performance. the instructor didn’t seem to say anything, but she’d noticed the woman’s keen eyes linger on her longer than usual more than a handful of times – she was thankful the instructor never seemed to call her out, however. every time she thought she had her entire focus on the performance, dongmin came back into mind – she wondered if he was okay ? should she maybe call someone to check on him ? who did she know that could go to him ? – and she made a misstep. cursing herself every time, she made sure to fall back in line with the rest of the trainees, and continue as if nothing had happened.

once they were let out for dinner, yoojung had no appetite.

instead of going to the cafeteria, yoojung wandered into one of the empty practice rooms, shutting the door quietly behind her and took a moment to stare into the mirror. she really was just some lovesick puppy who would do anything to make sure he was okay, wasn’t she ? it was kind of disgusting. she was making herself sick with worry over him, and it was only irritating her. she shouldn’t be so concerned, he’d ghosted her for weeks with no explanation. none, whatsoever. she should be angrier than she was, shouldn’t she ?

she attempted calling him – but to no avail.

he had to be okay, right ? nothing could’ve happened to him … right ? thoughts continued to plague yoojung through the rest of her day and focusing on what she was actually supposed to be doing was pretty much a fruitless effort. everything she did was off-beat – anyone could tell there was something bothering her. she was such an open book …

once they were let out, yoojung practically bolted from royal to the nearest subway station. it would still be another hour to dongmin’s apartment, and there was not guarantee the male would even be there – after all, he sent the text hours ago. he could be completely fine now … yoojung pointed out to herself, settling into her seat on the subway and staring blankly out the window. he could’ve texted someone else, too … letting out a long sigh, yoojung unlocked her phone and moved quickly to dongmin’s contact. she hesitated a moment before tapping the call button – only to be met by voicemail once again. letting out a long sigh, yoojung knew it was a fruitless effort. the entire ride, yoojung continued playing with the hem of her sweatshirt, surprised that it wasn’t frayed or misshapen by the time she arrived at her stop. she made her way quickly from the station to dongmin’s, pausing outside the male’s door. the text was from hours ago, who was to say that he wasn’t fine now ? who was to say he didn’t find someone else – but the sinking feeling still ached in the pit of her stomach.

she knocked on the door once. twice. three times. she wondered whether or not the male was even home – after all, it wasn’t like she knew where he’d texted her from. her eyes trailed to where she knew the male had a hidden key – wondered if it was too much of a breach of privacy to just make sure he wasn’t actually hope. any logic in the situation disappeared as she reached for where she knew the key laid, and she quickly unlocked the door – she was just making sure he was okay. it wasn’t weird, she was just being a good friend.

yep, a good friend.

she opened the door gingerly, stepping into the male’s apartment. giving it a once-over, she realized that she’d never been in dongmin’s apartment beforehand. luckily, the male wasn’t hard to find – as he was faced with him drowsily sitting up on his couch the moment she walked in. a quick glance around the room gave yoojung a very clear idea of what had happened – at least in her mind – and her face twisted, anger being an uncommon expression on her face. “ dongmin … ” yoojung muttered, dropping her duffle on the ground beside the door and making quick strides across the living room as the door shut behind her. “ lee dongmin, do you have no concern for other people ? what’s wrong with you – you made me so worried because you got drunk and you passed out ? ” she said, voice raised. “ i really went out of my way because i thought something was wrong – but you just decided to get wasted and drunk-text me ? seriously ? ” she shouted, furrowing her brows. “ you don’t talk to me for months, and then you expect me to just … ” she sighed, staring at the male.

he looked, well … pitiful, really. but was she any better for showing up, really ? tsking, yoojung gives a glance around his apartment before picking up a bottle that had fallen to the floor, barely filled with anything, and swipes it and the second still upright on the table, and travelled into the kitchen to discard them.

[tywrites]

velvet tongue | ryan erzahler

request: HHIIIII PLEASE RYAN X READER OHHHH MY GOD so like one night the reader decides to tease him a lot and there is like a huge build of of sexual tension and than he’s finally like girl pls😭😭 and so we release all of his tension LOLif this is a no that’s so fine i can totally write it myself i just love ur stuff lol - @ggrrrararrararara​

a/n: oh my GOD. ok i had a lot of fun writing this... i think i might have made him subbier than expected but i really hope you enjoy aaa <33

pairing: ryan erzahler x gen!reader

summary: you’re a tease and ryan needs some release ;)

word count: 1, 916

warnings: sub!ryan, dom!reader, oral (m receiving), 18+

-

He was on his knees. And god, he looked pretty when he was on his knees.

You circled around him slowly, eyeing him like a predator. He was so fucking gorgeous. His brown skin glowed in the candlelight as he shivered under your intense gaze. His pretty eyes followed you around the room, looking up at you curiously. You wanted nothing more than to ruin him right at that moment.

But you played the long game. You planned to make him beg. Have him writhing beneath you, pleading with you to make him feel good.

Only then would you oblige.

You stopped behind him. Reaching out, you traced patterns on the back of his neck with your fingertips, oh so lightly. You heard a sharp inhale, smiling to yourself. When you'd first hooked up, you were surprised to find that Ryan was incredibly sensitive everywhere. His neck, his torso, his inner thighs... All you'd have to do is run your fingers over him and he'd be gasping under you.

As you dragged the tips of your fingers over his skin, you felt the heat radiating from him like a furnace. Kneeling beside him, you brought your face close to him, ghosting your lips over his neck. Ryan bit his lip, his eyes fluttering closed in anticipation. You could smell his cologne, a subtle pine scent with a hint of citrus. You pressed a soft, deliberate kiss to his neck. You felt him tense under your lips, before melting into you, trying to lean into your body for some kind of contact.

"You're so needy, Ryan," you whispered in his ear.

He recoiled, gulping. "I.. I'm not," he retorted, lowering his head.

"Oh? So you don't want to finish this then?"

His head snapped to you, his face twisted in despair. "No! I mean, yes.. I do want to finish-"

"Mm, but you said-"

"I didn't mean it, I just..." He grappled for something to say. "You're teasing me.."

You smirked meanly. "I would never. I'll give you exactly what you want,"

He perked up in hope.

"Eventually." You finished, standing up. He deflated.

You walked around to the front of him, taking all of him in. He was still fully clothed which definitely needed to be fixed. He looked desperate, but not desperate enough to beg. Not yet. You needed to break him, pull it out of him.

You walked closer, so close that his face was directly in front of your crotch. He bit his lip, trying not to stare as his eyes darted anywhere but right in front of him.

"Cute," you teased. Ryan felt his cheeks heat up, his dick hardening in his trousers. "Don't worry, you'll get this later," you chuckled, rubbing yourself over your jeans. You caressed his chin. "If you beg, of course."

"I'm not going to beg," he said weakly. Your eyes narrowed, hand going to his hair before yanking it, not too hard but hard enough to make him whimper.

"Oh, you'll beg. I'll make sure of it. Stand up."

He stood up on shaky legs. You immediately pulled him close to your body, your hands fumbling with the hem of his t-shirt. You could feel his erection against your thigh and fuck, it was hard to hold back. You made quick work of his shirt, pulling it over his head before balling it up and chucking it somewhere in the cabin. He wasn't crazy muscular, but he was nicely toned and structured. His skin was smooth, pretty moles dotted around his body.

He bashfully moved to cover up, but you caught his wrists. "Please don't. You're gorgeous,"

This made him all the more shy but he couldn't help appreciating your words. Praise just made him feel like putty in your hands. He was still processing your comment when you pressed your lips against his. He leaned into the kiss, his arms wrapping around your neck as he clung to you. Your hands roamed his body, sliding up his sides with feather-light touches making him shiver in your arms. You began walking him backwards, not stopping until you had him pressed against the wall of the cabin. He whimpered when you smoothly fitted your leg between his thighs, the pressure on his dick making his legs tremble. You continued to kiss him roughly as you pinned him to the wall. Your hands eventually slid down to his trousers, swiftly unbuckling his belt and undoing his zipper.

Heart speeding up at your ministrations, Ryan gasped into your mouth as you released him from his pants, letting them fall down to his feet. He hurriedly stepped out of them, his underwear now the only barrier between his body and you. His hazy mind barely registered the fact that you were still fully clothed, but once it did, his face flushed in shame.

"You're so pretty like this, love," you panted in his ear, pressing hot kisses down the side of his neck. "Can't wait to have you under me,"

He whined, his hips grinding against your thigh as he clung to you. He hated what you did to him. His usually calm and collected front destroyed, reduced to a whiny mess. But he didn't care. He set aside his shame for you – the way you touched him, the way you made him feel completely making up for his broken pride.

You chuckled, feeling the way he bucked his hips into your leg. He was so cute. It was funny because you expected him to be a little more dominant than he was. Guess you brought out the submissive side to him.

"Stop teasing, it's not fair," he grumbled in frustration, his dick straining against his boxers uncomfortably.

"Aw, it's not fair? You know how to end this, love. All you have to do is say the word,"

He went silent, biting his lip. You rolled your eyes, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss once again. Time to up the ante.

Your hand slid down, fiddling with the hem of his boxers before slipping inside. He gasped in surprise when he felt your hand on his cock, gripping it firmly as your thumb circled his tip. He groaned, legs buckling under him. You grinned to yourself as he grasped your shoulders, trying so hard to hold himself up.

"Don't you want me to make you feel good, Ryan?" You looked him in the eyes, slowly stroking his cock.

With each stroke his brow furrowed more and more before he finally squeaked out a quiet "please..."

You smirked to yourself, your hand slowing on his cock. "What was that? Speak up a bit, love,"

He groaned in frustration, burying his face into the crook of your neck. He mumbled again.

"Say it louder or you'll get nothing,"

He took a deep breath. "Please," he said desperately.

Success. "Please what?"

He pouted. "Please... make me feel good. Please, I need you," he whispered quietly.

Christ.

You bit back a moan. You acted fast. You pulled him from the wall, walking over to the bed before pushing him down onto it. He landed on the soft sheets. You stood over him, gazing at him intently. You leaned down, bringing your face close to his crotch. You peppered gentle kisses onto his bulge, his face burning as he watched you. It was all far too much for him.

After having your fun, you hooked your fingers into his underwear and pulled them off. You stood back to take him in fully. He truly was beautiful. He squirmed under your intense stare, saying your name pleadingly.

Finally, you complied. You crawled on top of him, one hand going to his cock while the other spread his legs wide. He moaned loudly, his hand flying to his mouth in order to muffle them. If anyone heard him sounding like that, he would never live it down. Of course, you weren't too happy about this. Moving your hand from his thigh, you pulled his hand away from his mouth.

"Nuh uh," you smirked. "Let me hear those pretty noises, love,"

He gasped at a particularly rough stroke, hips chasing your hand. But it still wasn't enough.

"More," Ryan whined.

"More? But I'm already touching you, what more could you possibly want?" You teased, quickening your pace on his dick. "Tell me exactly what you want."

"I- I want-"

"Yeah?"

"Want your..."

"Say it."

"Want your mouth, want your mouth on me, please please-" he garbled, grasping your arm as you pumped him.

"See, wasn't so hard, was it?" You smiled as you slowly lowered your face down until you were level with his cock. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation, breathing quickening as he waited for what he'd been craving all evening.

You licked a bold stripe along his dick, from his balls to the tip. He cried out, his hand flying to your hair. You wasted no time in enveloping him, taking him into your mouth and sucking the tip hard. He couldn't stop the moans escaping his mouth as he held on for dear life. You held down his hips to stop him from bucking up into you and took more of his cock into your mouth, breathing heavily through your nose.

You gagged slightly when his dick hit the back of your throat, his groan sending shock waves through you. All you wanted was to make him feel good, reward him for being so good for you. You took as much as you could, pumping whatever you couldn't take with your hand. You paid special attention to the head, knowing how sensitive he was there. Your other hand massaged his balls, rolling them in your hand and forcing little high pitched whines from Ryan. He really couldn't handle this.

All the teasing had worn him so thin and he could feel himself getting close already. He whimpered our your name. "I- I think I'm close-"

He expected you to pull back, to prolong his orgasm as long as possible. You weren't that cruel. He deserved to cum. You forced your mouth deeper onto his dick causing his hips to buck up. You choked around him, saliva spilling out from your mouth and dripping down his cock. He was panting and moaning and he couldn't stop saying your name, thrusting up into your mouth as he got closer and closer to snapping. His thighs were shaking, his hands holding onto your hair for dear life as he fucked your mouth.

Soon, his hips started stuttering, his moans becoming high pitched and even louder.

He groaned your name again, pushing your head down onto his dick before finally letting go. Hot cum flooded your mouth and you gulped it down the best you could. He held you down onto his dick, making you take every last drop while you continued to suck, milking him for all he was worth. He was trembling, watching you take his load.

Eventually, he let go of your hair, your scalp aching so good from the rough treatment. You took in deep grateful breaths, panting. Ryan had fell back onto the bed, chest heaving while he tried to calm himself down. You giggled, crawling up his body until you were over him. You pecked a gentle kiss to his lips before rolling to his side, pulling him against you. You ran your hands soothingly over his skin, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

[tobi-momo]

You Belong With Me

PAIRING: Tsukishima Kei x Reader GENRE: Romance | Fluff | Angst (?) | Comfort (?) | Mutual Pining | Slowburn | Confession WARNINGS: tsukki has a toxic gf | cursing | ooc? | implied infidelity (not you or kei) | prolly more sry WORD COUNT: 2k A/N: this fic is HEAVILY based off of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift- if you've seen the music video this is like it but my way 😌 uhh i hope you like it <3 oh also pls don't cringe it'll hurt my feelings

“What was she so mad about?” Your voice bleeds through his phone as he scribbles on his homework with his number two pencil, sighing at your question. He looks up briefly to his window to see you at your desk across your two properties’ filing the papers for your math class, organizing your work. Your phone is sandwiched between your shoulder and your ear, your eyes narrowed as you focus on what assignments are what.

“Kei?”

He shakes his head as his mind snaps out of the daze, his golden eyes flicking down to his work. “Uh,” he sighs as he re-grips his pencil, “I teased her a little bit and she got mad,” he finished. You chuckled before covering your mouth with your hand, finally looking up at the man through your clear panes.

“You’re kidding,” you giggle, a smile leading onto Kei’s face while he listens to your voice, although refusing to look up at your face, he shakes his head in a joking dismissal.

“No, I’m not. But we are never mentioning it again.”

“Oh, good luck getting me to keep quiet!” You shout as your back straightens against your desk chair, a smug look playing on your face once the blond male looks up at you.

He stands up, a reciprocating smirk laying on his lips before he says, “You will,” before he takes his phone away from his ear, pressing the “hang up” button and raising his arm to close the drapes. You laugh with satisfaction while you exit his contact, turning on some music and tossing your phone on your bed before cleaning up your area and strumming your fingers like an imaginary guitar.

He opened his curtains expecting to see you sulking while doing your work, only to see you dance like an idiot while you blast your music, your pencils acting as a microphone as you perform your concert in front of your stuffed animals. He could hear the music from across the yard, him identifying it as your shared playlist that you two made a couple years back, the duration over fifteen hours as about three-hundred songs reside. An accidental chuckle escaped him as his eyes rested on your jumping figure for just a couple seconds. It was for entertainment. Yeah. That’s it.

~.~.~.~

Sticking your fabric marker on the construction paper, you write out your message to Kei.

“I love you”. It was a message that would tell him that he deserves the best and nothing less. It was something that you treasured and wanted to share that value with him. Something that told him that he belonged with you.

You hoped that one day you’d be able to give it to him, to tell him how you really feel, to show that you can do a better job than her, but you never got the chance. Carrying the folded slip in your pocket, ready to pull out, his phone rings. As you sit on the bench on the side of the road, you wonder how long it had been since you had seen him really smile. You had made him smile a lot before, even if he doesn’t smile a lot genuinely, there are some times where real happiness seeps through his facade. You like it when that happens, always have. You noticed how much his happiness had reduced over the course of these last few months, though.

He answers the phone very monotone, very uninterested. He sounded obligated while he spoke to his girlfriend, sighing sharply once he hung up.

“What was that about?”

“Just drama. Kind of sick of it at this point.” He sticks his phone in his pocket, looking over to your concerned expression. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he says while rolling his eyes, placing a soft hand on your head and letting it rest. His hand retracted quickly when the sound of his name rings through his ears, his head whipping towards his girlfriend's figure. He readjusts his glasses, sitting straight up and swinging the strap of his school bag over his shoulder before he gets up and sluggishly walks across the street, meeting up with the one he was set to have a date with later. He subtly waved to you prior to turning his head away and continuing his stroll with his date hanging on his arm. You ignore the glare served your way when you wave back to him, forgetting the multiple reasons of why you wanted him away from her so he can enjoy his date. Hopefully.

~.~.~.~

As you stand on the bleachers of Kei’s game, you watch him stride over the court and jump to block the ball, a playful smirk residing on his lips as he sends the ball to the other side. You clap for him, shouting praises his way in hopes he might hear you over everyone else. Especially her. The screaming and unnecessary noise making your ears bleed a bit. You didn’t mean to be irritated by it, but the pulse on your forehead and the grit of your teeth made it painfully obvious you didn’t really like her.

When the end of the game hit, you were overloaded with joy at Kei’s victory. You hurriedly make your way over to him before gripping him tightly in a hug, not caring about the sweat that drips off his body. You could feel his arms flex as he raised his arms to hesitantly reciprocate your actions until his arms completely dropped, his body stiff.

“What the hell?” He muttered under his breath as he firmly moved you aside to walk away. Following after him, you let your head peek out from the side of his back, watching it all occur in front of you. “What’s this?”

“What? Nothing, Kei,” she mewls, setting her hands on her boyfriend’s shirt as if she thought he was silly.

“Yeah, we were just, uh, talkin’.” The man before her fibs.

“Not according to what I just saw,” Kei accuses the two with a furrowed brow, fed up. You come out from behind him, glaring at his girlfriend in hate. This was it.

“Don’t worry about it, man,” the man dismisses, turning to keep the conversation with her going.

Stepping forward, you place an arm in front of Kei, stopping his movements as you eye his girlfriend. “Tell me you were not just flirting with this man and we’ll leave.”

“I wasn-”

“Don't,” you pause, taking a deep breath as you watch her take a step back, “don’t lie to me, or you will regret it,” you threaten, a sharp glint in your eye telling her that you are oh so serious about this. Behind you, Kei watches as you make his girlfriend stammer on her words, a subconscious smile leaking on his face.

She stomps away with anger, the man beside her moving away as well, scoffing.

~.~.~.~

He didn’t say much on the way home; you trailed behind him as he walked away in part anger and denial. You didn’t really know what to say. Should you go back and find the girl and beat some sense into her? Should you give some words of the wise to Kei? Would he even take it?

As you watch him slow down to match your pace, you grow confused. You were headed to your place, so why was he suddenly following? “Kei?” He hums in response, his head hanging low. “Would you like to stay at my place? I can make coffee and we can stay up shit-talking our least favorite people,” you giggle and softly bump into his side, a stifled chuckle escaping him.

“Whatever,” he mumbles with an obvious smile as he continues to walk with you. When you quietly shut the door and take your shoes off, you softly tread to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine- the man that you took home followed, his arm planting on the marble counter as his eyes trail over your moving figure.

As you sit on the stool next to him beside your kitchen island, you converse about the drama he’s been scooped in, him rolling his eyes twice a minute and his irritation level going off the charts as he recalls the events. He hated it, you could tell. He made it pretty obvious he wasn’t happy about it, too.

“Are you still going to the dance with her tomorrow then?” You speak curiously, twirling your fingers around each other while staring blankly into the marble as you awkwardly sit there, awaiting an answer.

It takes him a second to respond, a long sigh and a deep thought coming into play in his mind once he looks over to your spaced expression. Does he really want to go? Did he want to go with her, or with someone else- you? “Probably.”

Oh. “Are you sure you wanna do that? After what happened today?”

“Why not. Nothing better to do,” he justifies, shrugging. Yeah, you probably should have seen that coming.

The note that resided in your pocket seemed to crumple a little bit when you came to terms with the fact that he may never notice you the way you wanted him to.

~.~.~.~

“Are you going?” Kei asks over his phone as he takes his suit out of his closet.

“Ah, no,” you breathe out as guilt pools in your stomach, your elbow balancing sitting on your desk while dozing off into something that is not mathematical equations.

“Oh,” is all he says before telling you he needed to get ready, giving his goodbye.

After the call ends, you see the light fading away from his room as he closes the drapes, giving you a sign to start working again. You wondered what would happen if you possibly showed up. You originally were going to go, but the date that canceled soon beforehand gave your mind a gentle squeeze, telling you that the dance wasn’t for you. Still, the tiniest urge told you to make an appearance. You groan in waver, giving in.

~.~.~.~

You felt good. You felt really good. Wearing your planned outfit to this dance, you make your way inside carefully, minding the crowd. You catch the eye of the one girl that you held a grudge against, watching her grope another man on the dance floor. You roll your eyes in disgust as you move your head around to find a tall blond in the crowd. He leaned against the wall across from you his arms crossed while his dilated pupils trace the light that bounces off the floor.

“Hey,” you greet him, his attention whipping to you as he raises his head.

“Hi,” he reluctantly answers you while standing straight up, a relieved smirk leading onto his lips. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I didn’t want to put my outfit to waste,” you smile, spreading your arms to show your attire.

“Yeah, well you came at perfect timing,” he points towards his girlfriend which you identified earlier, although he seemed like he didn’t care all that much.

Gripping the folded paper in your pocket, you slip it out with two fingers confidently. “I have something to tell you,” you admit, your eyes staying centered on his black suit.

“Go on,” he eggs, hands staying at the side of his body while he watches you fluster yourself. It takes you less than a second to shove the note in his stomach and turn around, your face turning hotter and hotter every moment. Your hands lay against your cheeks as your nerves rattle beneath your skin, your ears tingling when you hear a sweet chuckle glide against his lips. “You should have told me a long time ago, Y/n. I wouldn’t have to deal with,” his eyebrows turn up as his head tips towards the dancing figure just a couple of feet away from you guys, “...that.”

You turn around slowly, disbelief covering your face when you look at his smug expression. “Are you kidding me? You’re telling me this,” you gesture at the both of you with your pointer finger, “could have been something a long time ago?”

He sucks in through his teeth, taking a grip on your arm and pulling you with him as he walks through the crowd to the middle of the room. “Yep. Guess you missed out.”

“Says you,” you roll your eyes with attitude as you pick up your pace and place your hand in his.

He knew he belonged with you, he was just wondering when you would admit that.

aaa here it is! three days of work! sry i havent been posting lately ive been working <3 (reupload bc tumblrs a little bitch)

REQUESTS: OPEN

reblogs are VERY appreciated!

[righteousinadversity]

Hi for the ask game, can I ask a reverse question? What are tropes/ships you really like, tropes/ships that you can tolerate, tropes/ships that are instant no's? Is there a trope you do like, but the way it is handled makes you not want to risk it anymore?

Oh, this should be fun!

Tropes/Ships I absolutely adore I am pretty cool with any which way ships other than Wangxian go, as long as they're not in my hard no, so I don't think there's any I really adore?

BAMF Wei Wuxian: Gods I love this so much. Wei Wuxian is canonically such a badass, and fics that celebrate that are just absolute gold!

No War AU: Look, I just want Wangxian to slowly fall in love without everything going to hell. Night hunting, taking names, being adorable in love. This goes as a staple for all no golden-core transfer, no sunshot campaigns, wens aren't assholes, etc.

WWX is adored and respected: I am a huge simp for the man, so really that's not a goddamn surprise. This ties in with the no war AU, and also any AU that happen not in the canon universe.

Post-Canon Fluff: The established relationship between Wangxian is absolutely the best. Both of them are so in love with each other, going on dates, just being so fond of each other.

Rogue Cultivator WWX: Same with any fic that has him not being raised by Jiangs. I am a particular simp for BSSR raising WWX. There is also so much potential for Wangxian fluff! I don't think I have a list for tropes or ships I tolerate, I am basically good with anything not on my hard no list.

Tropes/Ships That Are Instant No's These tropes are absolute no's for me, and even if they are paired with tropes I adore, I will probably avoid them.

Twin Prides of Yunmeng: And all variations. Absolutely don't care for it. Literally, a huge red sign for me to turn away.

Any trope sympathetic to JC/YZY/JGY: I have no love for any of these characters. This means JC needs a hug, good parent YZY, Good Guy JGY etc are all tropes I avoid.

OOC WWX: Every variation of it. Weak WWX (Specifically, helpless WWX in the entire fic, not like one scene). WWX with self-esteem issues is a huge no. WWX who blames himself or drowns in guilt? Don't care for it. WWX who thinks himself unworthy of LWJ's love? Nope. Oblivious WWX? Don't want it at all.

LWJ fucks: Yeah just... no. The same goes for WWX.

JC/anyone, especially WQ: Look, if JC is shipped with WQ, LXC, NHS, WN, LJY etc, it's almost guaranteed that it's going to cast him in a good light. So I avoid them instantly.

Any fic with unnecessary angst between Wangxian is also huge no's for me.

Tropes That I do Like, But Avoid due to Popular takes on them Fics like these are ones I do like but am very picky abt their execution, so nowadays I only read ones recced by friends and people I trust.

Time Travel: Yeah so I really do like Time travel fics, but they all usually end up with tropes previously mentioned in the instant no's so... I want a settled WWX to be stuck back in time (if post canon WWX chooses to travel back in time, it's an instant no) without OOC JC or Good Parent YZY. I want LWJ to travel back in time, and fluster his husband as he does in the future. Basically, I just want Wangxian without all the annoying side characters. Ooh also, WQ and WN being alive and well!!!

DarkJi: A lot of these fics just devolve into OOC WWX, which as I have mentioned, I dislike very much. Also, I'll probably avoid manipulative LWJ who solely wants to keep WWX as his too, bcoz, for me, LWJ is thrilled to be able to be friends with WWX, and wants WWX to feel no obligation to return his feelings or be his. That being said, pls give me the canon LWJ who turned his sword against his own sect elders who sought to hurt WWX, but also left with them bcoz WWX told him to. Give me LWJ who will cut JC if he looks at his husband wrong.

BM era Fix it fics, including Yiling Wei AUs: Yeah... this one's pretty obvious if you know me. I have ranted multiple times abt this on here. But almost every fix-it is either, the sects didn't know, JC is a caring brother, the Jins are the only evil, WWX needs to be saved from himself, all of which makes me want to gauge my eyes out. Give me WWX and the Wens living as a family without JC butting in. Give me them growing as a community without the help of the sects, because they didn't help. Give me Yiling Wei Sect that stands on its own. Give me WWX living his farmer's fantasy. Give me A-Yuan growing with his family. Give me Wangxian with slow falling in love.

However, I should say that, at the end of the day, I'm a lot more concerned about the characterization than the tropes. I don't think I'd be this picky if there wasn't such prevalent fanon going around but 🤷‍♀️ It is what it is.

This is especially true abt WWX and LWJ's characterization. I am very picky about that, because there are so rare few that don't fall into fanon characterization.

[hyunsuks-beanie]

Mommy

Sub! Changbin x (kinda) hard dom! reader; use of the word "Mommy" (not necessarily a kink); use of toys

Word Count: 1.7k words

A/N: Thank you to @binzuli for this super fun request! I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope it meets your expectations!

Working away on your laptop, you hear a "ping" on your phone, indicating a new message from Minho. "I'll just check it later," you mutter to yourself, not wanting to stop working midway. Barely half an hour later though, your work lays long forgotten as you exit your apartment only to visit your boyfriend's company. What made you change your mind, you ask?

It was a call that came in barely five minutes after the message from Minho. Hearing your phone ring, you looked down at it, only to see that it's Chan who's calling. You pick it up, and as soon as you mumble a small "Hello" to him, he goes off at you. "Y/N, I think you should check the message Minho just sent you. And if you want, you can come over after that to look after your man, because he's acting weird, and it's getting annoying," he says, trying to hold back a laugh. "Uhm, okay? What happened to Binnie though? Is he okay?," you ask, worried. "Oh he's fine. A little too fine if I may add," Chan chuckles, before hanging up. You unlock your phone to see the message, and find a video attachment with the caption, "Look what your boyfriend is up to."

As soon as you click on the video, your eyes go narrow. There, lying on the couch in the practice room, is Changbin, sleeping. But that's not what catches your attention, as you are too focused on the words coming out of his mouth. "M-mommy, umphh. Faster m-mommy, please. I've been a g-good boy, pl-please let me cum, ahhhh." He's having a wet dream, and while you can't lie and say that his sweat beaded forehead and those biceps that are the result of hours at the gym are turning you on, you're beyond pissed that he had to go off while dreaming about you in front of the boys.

Your train of thought is disrupted, as all of a sudden, your boyfriend lets out a loud moan, putting his hand into his pants, and you see him stroking his semi-hard member. This elicits a laugh from Minho, who is holding the camera, and you can feel your face flush from embarrassment mixed with anger at Changbin's carelessness.

You make up your mind to teach him a lesson for being so horny and needy for you, exposing your bedroom secrets to his group mates. You start getting ready for your outing, grabbing the most racy set of lingerie you own, which has cuts spread all over the fabric, exposing more than it covers. Getting changed, you grab your favourite toy from the drawer, smirking devilishly at your plan.

Soon enough, you find yourself in front of Stray Kids' practice room, Minho and Chan standing next to you. "He's been quite a nuisance," the older one says, shaking his head. "Don't worry, he deserves to be taught a lesson," you growl, making Minho make a face at you. "Just, uh, remember that we practice in that room. And I don't want to be reminded of they dirty things you did in there," he says, making you glare at him. "Don't act as if you haven't used the room to go off more than once, Lee," is all you say before entering the room, shutting the door in their faces. Locking it from the inside, you turn around, only to find your boyfriend still asleep, his hand inside resting his pants. It seems like his dream is over, but you notice that he's still hard, and that's enough for you.

Walking up to him, you quietly take his hand out of his pants, before sliding them down, making his dick pop out. You look up to see if he's woken up, but all you see is him smiling in content while still sleeping. "This bitch is enjoying it," you mutter to yourself, sneering at his form. Kissing the tip of his dick, you slide your tongue all the way down to his balls, before taking him into your mouth. He lets out a moan, slowly waking up. "Mo-mommy? You're here?," he asks, sleepily, "I missed you mommy." "Oh I know you did baby boy," you fake smile at him. "You were dreaming about mommy fucking you senseless, weren't you?" Smile turning into a growl, you add, "Do you know how embarrassed I was when Minho sent me a video showing you moaning and muttering my name in your sleep? You've been a bad boy, and you deserve to be punished."

Changbin whimpers at your words, muttering out a small, "S-sorry mommy." But he's not really sorry, because he knows punishment means amazing sex, and there's nothing more he needs right now. "You're sorry? You don't look so sorry though," you smirk, stroking is member. "Maybe you will be, when it hurts." And with that, you pull out one of your most prized possession from your bag, a cock ring. Changbin's eyes go wide at the sight of the toy, and he arches his back as you slide the ring down his cock. Once you're done, your mouth wraps back around his dick, as you continue to stroke the remainder of his length, pumping him.

You bob your head up and down, tongue swirling around him as you feel him get harder, the cock ring helping stimulate him further. "Ahhh, fuck mommy. It feels so good," Changbin screams, making you slap his butt. A couple minutes in, you feel him getting closer to his climax, and you see that as your chance to pull away. Missing the friction, your boyfriend lets out a whine, bucking his hips in the hope that you'll take pity on him.

You're not having his shirt today. you tug on his T-shirt, demanding that he take it off. He does as you ask, and you smile at him, sickeningly sweet. "Such a good boy. Maybe you deserve a treat," and with that, you take your top off, along with your shorts. Changbin's eyes nearly pop out when he sees you, nipples peeking out of the cuts in your bra, as your lacy panties do close to nothing to hide the wetness pooling between your legs. Seeing him practically drool just by looking at you, you ask him, "Wanna suck on mommy's boobs, baby?," already knowing his response.

Changbin can do nothing more than whimper, his obsession with your boobs making him nearly cum at the thought of sucking on your breasts. You sit on his lap, grinding against him at an agonizingly slow speed. "Then beg for it," you sneer, moving your hips over to dick in circular motions. He throws his head back in pleasure, the stimulation getting too much. You smash your lips onto his, shoving your tongue into his mouth.

Pulling back, you continue to grind. "Ahhhh mommy, it hurts," he moans, but you pay him no heed, as your hands entangle them in his hair, pulling his head to lie over your breasts. "Suck," you command, and Changbin happily obliges, licking your nipples through the slits in your bra, before sucking on them, giving equal attention to each breast. You let out a loud moan, making him smile against your breasts. "Am I being good, mommy?," he asks, still sucking on your nipple, making you say, "A little too good, baby," as you speed up the pace on his lap.

Soon enough, it gets too much for Changbin to handle, as he cries out, "M-mommy, I wanna cum. Pl-please mommy, I'm so close." You smirk, bringing your lips closer to his ear, "Not so fast, baby boy. I feel like you're enjoying this punishment too much, so let's take it a notch higher, shall we?"

With that, you climb off his lap, leaving him wanting more. Taking off your panties, you sit down on the floor, legs spread wide. You start fingering yourself, pulling the cups of your bra down, and massaging your breasts. You moan out Changbin's name, making him even more needy than before. "M-mommy," he whines, hand moving to stroke himself. "Don't you dare, bitch," you growl, making him pull his hand back. "You're not allowed to touch yourself," you say, continuing to finger yourself, pushing into yourself before pulling back out, your other hand rubbing your clit.

The pain in his dick gets almost unbearable for Changbin, as he struggles to hold back from his climax. Crying out, he says, "M-mommy, please let me cum. I know I've been a bad boy, but p-please mommy. I need you." You finally feel bad for him in his pathetic state, and smiling deviously, you walk back towards him, pushing him down onto the couch until he's on his back. Taking a condom out of your bag, you tear it open and roll it down onto his member, pumping him in the process, which makes him moan again.

You lower yourself onto his dick, throwing your head back in pleasure at the feeling of him filling you up as the cock ring rubs against your clit. You start moving your hips up and down, placing Changbin's hands on your hips, as your own travel all over his torso. You lower your face down, leaving kisses and hickeys. Finally, your lips catch his, as you make out with him while riding his cock.

You moan into each other's mouth, feeling yourself edge closer to your climax. "I-I can't hold back any longer, mommy," Changbin whines against your lips. "Just a little longer, baby," you urge him, kissing his lips again. Unable to hold back any longer, he finally lets go, cumming into the condom, as his body convulses due to the wave of pleasure shooting through him. You continue to ride him out, reaching your own release soon enough.

Riding out your high, you continue to leave soft kisses on Changbin's lips, praising him for being good to you. Once you come down from your climax, you get off him, taking out tissues from your bag and passing them to him to clean himself up, as you do the same to yourself.

After he's done dressing himself up, he wraps his arms around your torso, hugging you from behind. You turn around and kiss him softly on the lips, smiling as he gets shy. "You've been a good boy today, Binnie," you whisper in his ear, "Maybe you'll get a reward tonight."

[malonemelody]

Rant about My Policeman

Hi, it's been a while but I think I need to vent about the movie. Being a Harry fan for so long made me actually anticipate for this movie a bit and to be honest I was not expecting to be out today lol. I thought the movie was going to be on Amazon Prime only next month, but anwyays, here we are. I've watched the movie and I'm here to rant because I kinda need to take this movie out of my system. Don't even know if I'm going to post this or not. As a person who hasn't read the book this is my sincere rant about the movie.

Spoilers ahead...

So, about the movie. I was kinda surprised, the pacing is not that bad I think the flashbacks with the old and younger versions made sense. But I fear some things were kind of rushed? For me it was obvious that Marion felt guilt about something she had done in the past because why would she bring the man that supposedly ruined her marriage back home right? And then it all came to an end when it was revealed that she was the one that reported Patrick.

Now about the characters... I could not relate to any of them besides Patrick, to be honest. THERE WAS no backstory. We knew about Tom's sister and that Marion was a schoolteacher but... uh? There was not dept... The characters stories were there but there was nothing left for us to expect from them. Patrick's entries on his diary were fantastic so I think we could get into his head a bit. But Tom? I really don't know what to say... This is a story about a closeted character who may have internalized homophobia and internalized feelings, that's true. But his actions shown a selfish side and sincerely I could not feel like he was sorry for making Patrick and Marion 'share him'. This is only my interpretation, of course.

The sex scenes between the male characters were soooo good. They really depicted how intimate and passionate these two characters were with each other. I'm not saying this is the movie highlight but I was really """happy""" with how they ended up...? Then we see how Marion and Tom's 'lovemaking' was, nothing but an obligation, no intimacy, love and passion. Dull and dry....

OH GOD DAVID DAWSON HELLOO! I really don't want to talk how I laughed when I realized that he was Fred Best from Ripple Street. I can't believe I forgot about that lol i'm sorry, dear... You were marvelous in this movie and as Fred Best too, btw.

The Venice trip though, oh my god The Talented Mr. Ripley feels... Patricia Highsmith pls hold me I have to talk about you, I'm sorry. Ily queen. But yeah, it reminded me of Minghella's The Talented Mr. Ripley and it was just great. Thank you. Everything felt magical about it because Tom and Patrick seemed happy. No one there knew them, they could go out and be each other for once. So good for them, really. These scenes were so good to show how these two were happy and how they loved each other so much.

But then, let's talk about how Marion reported Patrick to the museum people and the police and how Patrick feelings were shown here. Uh, that was so weird... I was a bit taken back by how Tom would react to this, he seemed only worried about being found out and not worried about Patrick. It's like he never cared about Patrick that much. Lol He was going to jail??? I mean, your lover was going to jail baby. I think they could have put it differently and explored that a bit much in the early months or days after Patrick was arrested. Because it was clear that Tom has been haunted his whole life by his decisions and what happened with Patrick back there, he rejected and hid these feelings for a very long time. He repressed his own identity for his whole life, we could see that. But I think they needed to show that in the movies because it made Tom a cold character.

Anyways I thought the ending was quite good I just had to take this out of my chest. It was a OK movie, it made me think a lot about it after I've watched it... So it did its job, I guess?

Bye.

[herbietales]

kyle and kenny for the ask meme pls!!

thank u for asking and indulging me <33

ill put this under a cut dfkgds

Kyle

Why I like him: - Well tbh he's a rly cute and relateable character to me I feel moreso than any of the other boys. I really like moments where's he's shown to be really smart, like esp in conducting research or tracking down IP addresses. He's also able to stand up for himself and I liken him to be the friend who takes care of others even when he doesnt even want to for his conscious and moral obligations. He's also not shy to pursue something and follow through when he's determined (especially when it comes to his friends) He's also just a charmingly nerdy character with no rhythm and its just that simple lol

Why I don’t: - he tends to put people and even his morals under the bus lol like letting cartman tell him to tell the police that his parents were "molestering" him in the wacky molestation adventure if it means he gets to a concert. he's easily carried away by his feelings? and he has no tact sometimes? like when Kyle went to pursue Nicole and he thinks its a good idea to go to Token to ask him whether its okay - that plus his determination when he almost set fire to the school bc of some list

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000 bc his existential crisis was rly funny; Cartmanland, where he was so dramatic about his hemorrhoids that he was ready to die

Favorite season/movie: Ermm there's really no fair way to say which particular season since Kyle-episodes r so spread out but I really like early seasons (Kyle

Favorite line: https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/ei184e/south-park-kyle-s-hemorrhoid

kyle's hemorrhoid speech in cartmanland he's so dramatic

Favorite outfit: High Elf King!! i love the tree branch crown hehe OTP: k2,,, of course.. but i like style too!

Brotp: The main five, Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Butters! I like seeing em all tgt - Kyle and Token also sounds really cool being the more level headed ones in their group

Head Canon: I have this headcanon where he's learnt coding and has spent a lot of time on the internet. There's another one where he learnt how to play the guitar and songwriting from Stan

Unpopular opinion: I don't really have one! Or I haven't been in this fandom long enough I think to have one that I don't particularly agree with . Maybe an opinion I have is that Cartman may be smarter than Kyle?

A wish: For him to find happiness and closure with his bros

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Not having his bros around him TT

5 words to best describe them: Smart, charming, stubborn, gullible, kind!

My nickname for them: Ky

----

Kenny

Why I like him: - Though he's perverted and all, I love that he's always shown to be kind, good-natured and a person who loves giving back. But!! He's not a pushover, he tells people off whenever he needs to protect his siblings. he's also not afraid to just do whatever he wants to (being princess kenny and then betraying cartman, or participating in home econs? and not shop class even if it makes him look feminine). and i think a trait that i really like is how much he likes hanging out with other boys that he would dedicate his life to fixing things up with them - also?? being so proactive in keeping in touch with everyone apparently after 40 years lol

Why I don’t: - theres rly not much to dislike about kenny, since things i dislike about him is things he doesnt really control like not having enough screentime lol but if i have to nitpick it would be that kenny usually takes the backseat whenever he could stand up for his friends, like he has to be told to comfort butters in Going Native

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Best Friends Forever! Where Kenny protects Heaven with the golden PSP lmao

Favorite season/movie: Mysterion trilogy! Or also known as the Coon & Friends trilogy

Favorite line: His letters to his Cartman, Kyle and Stan in Going Native !! theyre rly funny Favorite outfit: Princess Kenny!! OTP: k2... hehe but Bunny is also cute!!

Brotp: The main five, Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Butters! I see him being the person who hangs out with CATG as well!

Head Canon: Maybe random but he has sanpaku eyes? it's just symbolism more than anything bc its said that ppl with sanpaku eyes tends to get a tragic end and it fits with his dying-a-lot-angst trope.

Unpopular opinion: I hate it when ppl make him out to be a druggie that ends up with a dead-end job and that he wouldnt make it out to college and stuff or that he's a womanizer? in the defintiion that he uses women and all that TT like maybe he's a flirt and likes hanging out with women but where did yall get that he abuses them...

A wish: Adult Kenny to speak unmuffled... please...

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Being killed off permanently or make him out to be that person in the unpopular opinion lol

5 words to best describe them: crude, quiet, protective, selfless, loyal

My nickname for them: Ken!

[jooniez]

This is gonna sound so sappy but it's 4am and I'm emotional damn it I think a big reason why I don't mind the shift in bts music/english releases is that their music is personal to them and reflects what they're currently feeling. A lot of their older releases were dark bc they were having a really rough time (hate, self confidence issues, depression, anxiety, fear, identity crisis) and they were coping as best as they can. And if they're feeling happy rn, enough to make sillier, happier songs to spread the joy... well good for them, it makes me happy too :')

Yes I know, separate the art from the artist and all that, and yes, there's always room for constructive criticism, but that's how I feel about the whole thing. As long as they're happy, I'll support them.

that’s a really good point actually and now I’m going to be sappy with you 🥺 I feel like some armys forget about that a lot as well and I hate when ppl pull the ‘I miss the old bts’ because it’s like??? I’m sorry, bts aren’t teenagers anymore .. like they debuted eight years ago .. you realize how much people change in eight years??? especially when you’re moving from teenage years into twenties you’re doing so much growing and changing and for bts as artists of course that means their art and the music they make will change with them!! change isn’t always a bad thing and there’s a difference between experimenting and evolving compared to just making different music because you think it’ll sell better and I think it’s pretty obvious that in bts’s case it’s just them changing and evolving and that’s reflecting in their songs!! but true it’s also important to remember that art is separate from the artist. I mean bts released ly tear which is a dark concept during the time where they were really getting popular globally and sometimes they just do certain sounds because they want to and not necessarily because it’s how they’re feeling at the moment!! Idk my feelings on this whole english singles/korean songs debate is that armys really just need to let people have their own opinions pls!!!! stop policing others feelings and telling them how they should and shouldn’t react or how they need to act in order to be a “real fan”!! I’m really happy seeing bts happy as well and I think it’s great that they’re trying new sounds and challenging themselves by singing in all english but I also just don’t really like permission to dance and that’s okay!! I appreciate the positivity and the message but I just don’t care for the song itself. I mean I’m a fan of bts FOR bts obviously so yeah I would rather listen to lyrics they write rather than lyrics that random english speakers write. bts are incredible lyricists and producers so I would just prefer to hear a song made by them!! armys can dislike stuff bts do but still appreciate them as people and musicians yknow? as fans we aren’t obligated to like every single thing, in fact it’s perfectly normal to not love every single thing!!✨

[writefightandflightclub]

Hey! I know this is a terribly personal question so pls don't fell pressured to answer it if you don't fell comfortable doing so, but I saw the NB in your bio and as someone who's questioning whether they might be Non-binary themselves but lives in an extremely transphobic place I couldn't help but wonder: How was your experience with your own gender? When did you realize? How do you feel about it? What did you do about it? How does one go about telling people something like that?

TW: transphobia mention

Heyyy! I feel SO bad about how long this has been in my inbox. Maybe you will have forgotten sending it, idk. Maybe you are in a different place by now. But here I am, and I hope this isn’t too late to reply.

I looked at this SO MaNY TIMeS and tried to reply. I felt like I needed to write a “perfect” response, bc it’s so important… and so I ended up never writing… anything?! But, I am *finally* over getting it exactly right. I think it’s better if I just start somewhere, anywhere, and then if you wanna chat more we can speak again, alright? 😊

First, I’m so sorry you’re in an environment that is transphobic. That sucks, no other way to put it, and I hope you are safe and that you find more supportive people in your future. You deserve that! So much!

Secondly, your experience is unique to you and that’s so wonderful! I think questioning your gender and exploring if you might be non-binary is amazing! I hope you can see it as a positive and full of opportunities even if it seems scary too sometimes.

I also get wanting to find out more from someone who seems like they have it… a little bit figured out? Because… I’ll be honest, it’s.. sorta confusing?!

The truth is… I don’t actually have it figured out?! It’s hard and, did I mention, confusing? 😂 For a long time I wondered, how do I know? Like, knowing, to a level of rigour I’d never expect to be applied to any other aspect of my life. This is the way society expects you to know, and the things it expects you to prove, if you fall outside of the binary.

But… I don’t have to prove anything and neither do you.

A simple thing which helped me get out of that cycle of “proving” and “knowing” and second guessing, personally, is that “if you feel non-binary sometimes or all the time, you’re probably non-binary”. I think it was represented in, like, a two layer flow chart and that was all there was to it and it helped things… click a bit? And hey, no-one gets to define what gender is to you is the point of that. There is no test you need to pass. No entry criteria.

When did I realise? As soon as I had the language? Enby wasn’t talked about when I was young, so although non-binary people have existed as long as humans have, or sthg, I didn’t have the words until… late twenties? But, even before the words, I would be sitting on a bus sometimes, or out somewhere, whatever, and someone would refer to me in passing as “woman”, and while the term doesn’t cause me any major distress I’d just have a little sinking feeling and go… oh. But, but, don’t you see how manly I am, stranger on the bus? There you go.

What did I do? Not a lot, but you can do as little or as much as you like / feel safe / able to. For example, I am comfortable with my body and don’t mind she/her pronouns, so I haven’t wanted to / felt I had to physically change much to express myself. My gender presentation is slightly more tricky as I tend to want to dress more masc but no matter what I always seem to get read as femme so… 🙄 That also means I’m not “visibly” gender non-conforming (which can also mean erasure, but hey, I’m bisexual, AFAB, and married to a cishet man so all kinds of used to that). However, my point, if I have one, is that you’re not obligated to… do anything?! Your journey will be personal to you! There are lots of people who might want to change their pronouns / name / gender expression / body / hormones in a whole bunch of ways, but you are also not obligated to want all / any of those things to be valid. You might want some of them some of the time as well, and that’s okay too. You can’t do non-binary wrong. It’s not possible.

I also didn’t really “come out”? Like, my husband knows everything and I told one friend who did NOT get it. At all. It’s almost comical. And I have one other friend I might mention it to when they’re in a better headspace themselves. And my parent gets me but I don’t feel the need to have The Conversation. Also hi tumblr, you are my safe space for my non-binaryness and “they” pronouns 🧡 A conversation can be casual too. Like, I used Janet from the Good Place jokes to ease into it. 😂 It can be as casual as you like, on your terms, and only when / IF you feel safe and that you want to!

One thing I did do is to seek out enby creators to follow on Insta, listen to their podcasts, read their plays, watch their shows. Can recommend! Read or write fanfics which have non-binary identities or ones with a gender presentation you vibe with. Self-inserts can be healing! Learn about the history of non-binary peoples from across the globe and the different ways these identities have been honoured in different cultures through time. The more we can surround ourselves with the full diversity of enby experiences and stories, the more possibilities we can see for ourselves and the better we can understand others.

Fwiw, I struggle feeling “valid” a lot, but the headline is that your feeling about yourself is valid. Full stop. Even if you don’t have it all figured out. Even if you can’t fully express it (yet) in all the ways you would like.

You are so valid!

And you can head to my inbox any time. I’m 10,000% rooting for you.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Sending lots of positive internet wishes through the screen to you and I hope you find your gender euphoria ✨

I hope this made some sense and was in anyway helpful. I feel like none of it was profound, but the more “mundane” conversations we can all share with each other about this the better, right? And, a little bit like this message, don’t wait and try to find the “perfect” solution for your gender. You don’t have to “solve” it. You can just try to be authentic and true and give it a go? You are not a puzzle to be solved, and I hope you can have fun with this journey and play around and see what works for you and what doesn’t and become a little more yourself every day, wherever that happens to lead and however it looks for you 🧡