#[[ the guy needs a proper night of sleep SO badly xD ]]

[countlessrealities]

@slickmcrty sent: 🤪 (for AR) Random drunk texts || Accepting !

Damn, maybe he had really downed one glass to many that night. A few bottles of wine shared with his best friend at dinner, followed by one of whiskey. Then he had gotten back to his messy flat and had kept going. He wasn't even sure of how much liquor he had pumped into his system, but it had been enough to make his head swimming uncomfortably.

Was it just him or was the cushions of the couch trying to swallow him?

With a groan, Rick shut his eyes tightly, trying to clear his muddled thoughts. He had the feeling that something was missing, but he couldn't recall what. Had he left something that he shouldn't have on? Had he forgot his shit at SR's place? No, it was something else. Or rather, it wasn't a thing at all.

...Oh, shit, Morty.

The black market dealer jerked in a seated position. A really bad move, because the way of nausea that followed almost had him doubling over.

And then the memory hit him, as soon as his stomach stopped churning. Right, the teen was out with his pals. Cursing under his breath, Rick dug around for his phone.

[text] dont cme back too late u little shit [text] we got shit to do tomrtow [text] adn I hope they give u sex ed at teh fuckign academy 'cause Im not gonna gte involved if u and ur bf fuck up [text] if u get achance grab me some booze I think I drabk half of my stash

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Birthday prompt #4

(I’ll have them all posted in a couple of hours, she’d said. AH! Such naivety. Guys, I swear. Formatting nine stories on tumblr and on Ao3 is killing me xD)

Read on Ao3 Birthday prompts masterlist

@siszx

[Happy coming B day! Yay! (why am I so excited...) I’m thinking it might be a good idea to have behind scene POVs from both Cris and Agnes from ep 6-10 on how they became closer to each other...It might not be difficult for Cris to care about people as it is who he naturally is. But an intimate relationship? I bet he hasn’t been there with anybody for quite long... Well, is it too much to ask???]

Or: Cris and Agnes' relationship is complicated, it's weird, and it's worth it.

The first time they sleep together – the only time, so far – Cris knows Agnes is not just making a mistake. She calls it that, sure – rather unflattering, although he later comes to suppose that it has more to do with her being worried about hurting him than the other way around.

But it’s not just a mistake.

It’s a move. (It’s her trying to fill the void inside, to heal the terrible wounds Oh and her own actions have left on her soul. It’s her trying to distract herself from the fact that she’s just killed her once lover. Maybe it’s her trying to prove that she isn’t a praying mantis. Cris doesn’t know that the first night. He just knows it’s a move.)

They explore each other that night, but their souls remain off-limits. Agnes’ hand strays to Cris’ many scars and there’s a little bit of fear in her eyes, something not quite like horror, or disgust, but something unsettled. “Why do you even have scars?” She would ask if she dared, because her own skin is unmarred, flawless – because dermal regenerators are a thing and some of the scars are way too big and too bad not to have required one.

He wouldn’t answer even if she asked. Cris likes Agnes. He likes her shy smile, and the way she’s so tiny against his chest right now, the way she rambles when she’s nervous and often tries to annoy him into putting down his books. He likes how she’s so much lighter than the rest of them – except maybe for Elnor, although the kid knows death like few do, so maybe he isn’t that light after all.

What Cris doesn’t like is that he can see through the sunshine and the babbling and the cute smiles and make out the frayed edges, the anxiety that shouldn’t be here when you’re adorable and smart and sheltered like Agnes P. Jurati.

It could just be a one-night stand. That’s what they tell each other, that’s what Agnes desperately hopes for as Cris runs a gentle hand on her cheek and pushes her hair out of the way. They’re in her quarters, of course. He wouldn’t have sex in his own. That comforts her, in a twisted way, tells her he’s not actually letting her in. No broken hearts to worry about, then.

It also makes her feel empty, because Cris is so caring and so amazing and so anxious to meet her needs that it makes her wonder if the tough Captain thing isn’t all an act. She knew some of it was crap, sure. She knew that Cris cared. She’s just realizing how much.

And it’s not just about her either. He’s not in love, not at all. She clings to that while they have sex, remind herself that he won’t hate her in the morning. But she’s not that special. Cris just has a big heart, and so much room to fill.

That’s the mistake, in the end. Trying to feel better by sleeping with a guy she could care about. She asks him to leave when they’re done, and he doesn’t look upset. She feels terrible about it, and Elnor picks up on it the next morning.

Cris picks up on it too. He knows she’s not being honest, he knows proper little doctors who have never been to space and laugh in amazement at things like “romulan warrior nuns” and say “I’ve watered your plants” to make conversation don’t just decide to sleep away the pain.

She’s not the type, it doesn’t feel right. Cris is a pretty good judge of character, and when she sends him away he can see the despair in her eyes, the aborted hand motion that betrays her wanting to hold him there.

He leaves anyway, because if Agnes P. Jurati thinks sleeping with him was a mistake, that’s Agnes P. Jurati’s problem. It’s not his first one-night stand. He hasn’t invited her into his quarters anyway, it’s not like this is a heart thing.

He sees the signs when they approach the cube. The way she’s disappointed about not going aboard, tries to tell them it’s relief. Cris doesn’t buy it, because he knows people, he gets them without even having to try. That was part of his job as XO, really, the part that he’s pretty sure Emil inherited and he himself managed to retain. It’s not the same as being good with people, that one trait is a bit more damaged.

When he sees Agnes freaking out, when she says she’s done and that the Romulans will kill the robot girl and good riddance, he’s not sure what to do. He’s sure what to think though. Agnes throws up the cake and the Romulan snakehead is still tailing his Sirena (a snake trying to catch a fish, really, how stupid is that?), and he decides that they need to chat.

He really should have talked to Raffi before pressuring Agnes into admitting she’s the one with the tracker. He really shouldn’t have had the faintest sliver of suspicion towards Raffi at all, because she’s Raf, his big hermana Raf that he holds when she’s crying and stupid drunk, she’s Raf who’s been there for him and who he doesn’t even remember meeting because it’s been close to ten years now. He entertained the notion that maybe she had no choice, maybe she was being blackmailed with that kid of hers – it was dumb. It was dumb and he shouldn’t have.

It’s Raffi and he’s still not trusting enough for about half an hour, on the off chance that he’s wrong about Agnes, and it all goes to hell. He tells himself that he has to. He has to be cautious, because when he gets overconfident people get hurt, and he can’t add that to the blood that has painted the inside of his eyelids red. He can’t add to the nightmares.

So he doesn’t tell Raffi, and he goes to Agnes without realizing that Raf was onto her as well, and between the two of them they manage to push and press until Agnes completely shatters. Fuck him, so proud of himself for making her spill it, smiling at her like it’s an inside joke when she tells him it’s not Raffi.

Fuck him.

When he runs to sickbay, his EMH somberly tells him that another person has tried to kill themselves because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, and that’s enough to make him shatter bark at Picard when he asks for an ETA. It’s enough to make him avoid sickbay and to shove the memory of his night with Agnes in a dark part of his mind that he only visits against his will – every time he sleeps.

Then there’s not-Jana, and it’s all too much. It’s Raffi who’s there to hold him together when his broken pieces splinter and crack into smaller ones, crumble into dust and leave his soul bleeding and raw. It’s Raf who is family and strokes his cheek and hands him coffee, and it’s Raf who gets to hear that fucking story he’s never told anyone.

When he tells Raf about his P— his Captain, not his dad, never his dad, he has completely forgotten about Agnes P. Jurati and her own shipload of problems. Agnes, he likes. Agnes, he cares about. Raf is his shelter, and there’s no comparing the two.

But when he’s done crying and Raf is done holding him, and he feels the tiniest bit like he can try and be the composed starship Captain again, the caring overflows. It’s the only thing he can do to fix his messes, isn’t it? Caring about the people hurt along the way, and helping them through it. That’s the thing his Captain failed at, opting out of the cleaning up when Cris desperately needed him there to make sense of things.

Cris has failed enough to fail on that.

He gives Soji french fries and ice-cream, asks Agnes if she’s okay, and talks about the Ibn Majid. He lets Soji steal his ship to save her family – and really, what else can he do when he watched the person he cared about most blow is own brains out? – and he lets her risk la Sirena to get to synth planet faster.

He gives and he gives, because every time he tries to get he fucks it up so badly that he’s known for a long time now that he’s better off never wanting anything from anyone ever again.

It’s kind of a relief to know that it wasn’t really Agnes’ fault. It’s enraging to know that the one officer responsible for destroying his dreams and his family is the one who ripped Agnes’ innocence from her. It doesn’t feel fair, and he hates that the universe had apparently enough of a sense of irony to make them meet.

Really? He wants to shout to the stars. Really? Her life couldn’t suck on its own? Everyone’s trauma on this goddamn ship has to be linked to that one time we beamed two synths aboard the Ibn Majid and I gained a lifetime’s worth of nightmares?

That makes him care ever more. It’s not fair and nothing has ever been, and he puts his heart on the line once again and decides that he’ll protect them, all of them. He’ll protect Agnes the brainwashed murderer he slept with, and Picard the grand heroic ass who can’t see beyond his next move and his redemptive mission, and Soji the synth girl he can’t look at without aching and who could possibly be the death of them all, and Elnor the brave kid they thought they’d lost and who looks at them like the hang the stars in the sky. Seven and Raffi can take care of themselves, not like this rest, and he can count of them to have his back as well.

But that stupid crew? He’ll jump between them and phaser bolts, and he’ll grab not-Jana n°2’s hand right as she moves to touch Agnes’ face. Never mind that she’s probably ten times stronger than she is. Never mind that looking at her makes him want to sob, that he won’t sleep for two weeks after this. Never mind that Agnes says it’s fine.

He’s not fine with it, he’s not fine, Agnes is not fine, and he cares.

And then Agnes has a cat in her arms and asks him not to forget her, and she speaks Spanish like she does everything, carefully and looking very cute, and he strokes her cheek. She’s inolvidable, like the rest of that stupid crew.

Maybe, just maybe, Cris regrets not inviting her in his quarters. Maybe that was his mistake. Maybe they could have had something before the world burns, as it might still happen. Maybe he regrets leaving that night instead of holding on to her.

She’s light and she’s cute and she shines like the stars, and perhaps he shouldn’t always settle for the easier relationships, for caring from afar. Maybe his heart needs to start taking risks again, when his body has no problems doing so.

When it’s over, when they’ve managed not to die – except for Picard, oh god, Cris is not sleeping for a month after that – and when it’s time to mourn and to let their guard down, Cris opens up to Seven. They’re so much alike and she reminds him so much of Raffi that it’s not hard. After all, opening up to Agnes was just a maybe.

She’s in that lab anyway, tinkering with Soji and Soong and he doesn’t want to know why.

Then Picard is back. Because of course he is. Of fucking course. (Cris is not sleeping for a long, long month. He can’t bear to close his eyes and see his pops alive and well only to wake up and to remember that people don’t come back to life. Not unless they’re Jean-Luc Picard, too good and too saintly for death.)

Agnes and Soji and Soong bring Picard back, and then it’s all ancient history, and everybody kind of shyly asks Cris for a ride home, and then adds that they don’t have to go straight away, that they could make a few detours here and there.

“If you want to stay, you could just say so,” he tells them.

His voice doesn’t shake, his hands don’t either, but his soul certainly does – because what if they don’t want to?

They all want to.

He maybe cries a little once he’s alone with Raf. And then he remembers another maybe, a more important one. Cris doesn’t want to fall in love. He doesn’t want to play into the worn-out romantic tropes, doesn’t want to risk losing Agnes’ affection over something so trivial as sex or the label “boyfriend,” doesn’t want to risk falling out and making her hate him.

(He doesn’t think she would.)

All the same, they’re a crew now, and as an XO he’d never have pursued a relationship with any of the other officers. He tells her all of that before they leave Coppelius, the two of them huddled beneath that tree where he talked to Seven. Agnes pulls a face.

“We… We don’t have to,” she murmurs. “The sex, and the boyfriend-girlfriend thing, I mean. We don’t have do that, not right away.”

That gets him to tilt his head curiously. Agnes feels shy and nervous and like she might be about to cry, but it’s kind of in a good way. Kind of in a way she’s only ever felt for Bruce, and that she knows was wrong in that particular case but isn’t wrong now. She doesn’t want to mess it up either, not after almost fucking up their crew and miraculously being granted the others’ forgiveness.

She doesn’t want to burn with desire for Cris and promise him her whole heart and soul, and feel too much and too strongly when they’re all so exhausted. She wants to rest. And she wants to rest in Cris’ strong arms, her face hidden in his neck, and she wants to breathe in the scent of la Sirena and aguardiente and real cigars on his skin, and forget everything else.

She wants this to be soft and caring, and nothing like in the holos where people pull each other out from the brink of despair by kissing passionately and making great love speeches. She just wants to rest, and she wants Cris to care about her, and she doesn’t want much more.

“We could just take it slowly,” she clarifies, and there are no butterflies in her stomach because this isn’t some sappy young adult novel. Her skin tingle, but that’s just a hormonal reaction to being this close to Cris, and that’s not love. “I’m don’t think I want to be in love with you.”

He nods. He doesn’t want her to be either. He holds her close, presses a kiss to her temple and blows on her face to get the hair out of the way.

“I just want to love you,” she feels compelled to add. And because she’s nervous, she rambles. “I want to see this grow one day at a time, and I don’t want to rush things or make a mess, or make everything awkward for everybody else by fighting and breaking up and making up and making out and ruining what we have. I want to wake up in my quarters and go eat cereals with Elnor and Soji and everybody without being annoyed at you not being there or waking up too early or too late. I don’t want to worry about any more broken hearts, and I don’t want to see you as just my boyfriend.”

On that, they are agreed. Cris smiles at her and lets her rests her head on his shoulder, and he kisses her temple again, and he tells her that they could make it work. He asks if just kissing is okay, because he’d kind of missed it, and Agnes’ skin is unmarred and flawless and so very soft. She says yes, but not big passionate kisses, just soft ones like he’s giving her now, and that’s great, because that’s just what he had in mind.

He feels great about not being girlfriend and boyfriend yet, and he feels great that she too knows they’re still too raw and too clumsy and too out of practice with that kind of things to make it work. He feels great that this is still going somewhere, and that this somewhere might be a real intimate relationship one day. He feels great that she wants to love him. He feels great that what they have is going to be inolvidable, and not just another one-night stand or a lover that goes wrong.

He feels great that he loves her.

He feels great.

[solaneceae]

MY HUMAN!EGOS AU

i got a surge of inspiration and started creating my own versions of the egos! its still a work in progress but i love them to bits and im really excited to share them

JACKIE

grew up in an abusive household, emotional and sometimes physical abuse

parents screamed at each other all the fucking time, father was an alcoholic

Left home as soon as he was able to live by himself (16)

he’s 22 now

poor

trans boi, on T, wears a binder cuz he can’t afford top surgery

lives in an apartment with two roommates: Max, a philipino sound designer and independent musician (they/them) and their girlfriend Nilanjana (Nana), a buff training coach from indian descent

Jackie is in a queerplatonic relationship with them: they cuddle and kiss on the forehead during movie nights and all that cute shit

he has a part-time day job to pay the rent and bills: he gives self-defense lessons

he drinks his respect women juice

vigilante at night. gets hurt a lot. his roommates think he fights in an illegal fight club for extra cash and are worried about him

wants to save people and spread positivity wherever he goes

but he has the wrong way to go about it

basically he does the PMA thing wrong and thinks any kind of negativity is bad and tries to force himself to be happy all the time. 

not healthy, someone help this poor boi

anger issues, undiagnosed ptsd and ADHD

antsy boi! stimmy boi! He’s always bouncing on his feet or humming a tune or fiddling with his hair

aromantic asexual

pure of heart, dumb of ass. seriously, he’s such a dumb, but he does have street smarts

vitiligo!!

light blue eyes, dyes his brown hair lime green

extrovert, loves people

the kind of guy to record himself doing parkour and post it on tiktok

team hot cocoa

for the love of god please don’t give him coffee, he’s enough of a jitterbug already

wants a dog. prolly needs an emotional support one.

plays the drums. Fished a beat-up set somewhere, would like a proper one

fights with his fists and a wooden staff

no special powers, just self-taught fighting skills, natural flexibility and talent at acrobatics and rigorous training

MARVIN

he was born with green cat eyes, the physical representation of his extremely potent magic. parents were freaked out, and basically hid him away

had no control over his powers as a baby, would wreak havoc around him. think Mob from Mob Psycho 100

the upper side of his face was badly burned when he lost control of his powers as a toddler, so he wears masks to hide the scars. the cat one is just the one he wears most often

“hey, nice mask!” “it’s a prosthetic.” “...oh.” (it’s not that bad really, he’s just really self-conscious about it)

he was homeschooled his whole life and generally wasn’t allowed to go out much, so his social life/skills are nonexistent

his parents are famous fashion designers

they’re super rich and travel the world and send him a ridiculous amount of money every month

they say it’s for work but the real reason is that they couldn’t deal with having a “freak” as a son but couldn’t abandon him without getting bad PR

so instead they just took their distance and left him to live in a big-ass mansion by himself as soon as he was old enough (10 years old)

they dont really care what he does. last time they called him was when he was 13

last time they sent him a birthday card was when he was 18

now he’s 24

(and at this point he makes me think of bruce wayne lmao. he needs an alfred)

since he has money and home, he doesn’t need a job, so he just stays cooped up in the property and almost never leaves, he orders his food and groceries to be delivered to him

he’s basically a hermit at this point. and a huge nerd

he tries to use his natural magic as little as possible, (hello trauma my old friend) so he still has flimsy control over it

instead he dabbles into wicca and the occult to do stuff

A bookworm, quite serious, dresses like a hipster art school student. he wears SAROUEL PANTS.

glasses!! Big round rimless glasses!! soft!!!!

long brown hair, messy bun, dyes the tips dark green and purple 

disaster gay

“sleep? what’s that? i only know coffee”

has three cats he rescued himself: Spades, Jasper and Poppy

has a huge greenhouse linked to the main building. he likes gardening a lot, whether it’s for his craft, for cooking or just because he likes seeing plants flourish

HOW THEY BOTH MET / IDEAS AND SHIT

Jackie tried to take on a whole ass drug ring and bit more than he could chew at the time so he got beat up pretty bad. He managed to escape with his trusty grappling hook and swung around a bit before crashing through the glass ceiling of the greenhouse while Marv was tending to his plants, in the early morning.

Long story short Marv is in a panic because a complete stranger (also the only human being he’s interacted with in months) just flopped in front of him and is probably dying and he wants to call an ambulance.

jackie: *beaten black and blue and coughing up blood* jackie: oh hey how’s it goin’ marv: *distressed nerd noises* marv: oh my god who the fuck are you but also are you dying in my house im calling an ambulance- jackie: uh yeah no please dont im kinda doing illegal stuff also i cant afford it marv: marv: wh-

also what if marv calls the family’s doctor since jackie won’t go to a hospital, and it’s fucking Schneep henrik: what the fuck did you do this time marv: it wasn’t me! jackie: your family doctor scares me marv: that’s why they hired him

maybe after that jackie keeps coming to see marv and marv is like “ugh you again-” and he always come to marv whenever he gets hurt, to get patched up by schneep. he broke the ceiling two more times basically they become “hey ron hey billy” vine, its just a habit at this point.

Marv is a rich boi that doesn’t know anything about life. at this point i realize he’s like a mix of Elsa and Rapunzel, and Jackie is kinda Flynn xD Jackie just… aggressively becomes Marv’s friend despite the magic man’s reluctance, and shows him the world. love me some smart grumpy nerd/dumb happy jock friendship

jackie: im your friend now marv: wh- jackie: *drags him outside* LETS GO CLIMB A BUILDING TOGETHER-

Marvin but he’s never been in a grocery store in his entire life because he just orders super expensive pre-made meals to his house or cooks his own veggies, and he’s just amazed at the first one they go to

like “wHAT, IT’S A ROW OF FREEZERS! Remind me to install one of these at my place!”

and Jackie, who just came here for bread and milk, looks at him fondly but also is very concerned. Also he doesnt question marv’s masks, he just thinks they look cool

@tabbynerdicat it’s my bois! @lilakennedy because i know you like those two, and your love for them motivated me to develop them first

[ac-ars]

high for this

i know i suck but i lit have never been that busy in my life, i gave away today's shift since i was until 3:30 at the airport on my internship and i've been dying ever since, this is finished and its very long ass chapter, i hope you enjoy it 

also tumblr has been pretty dead but well xD 

Luna Valente doesn’t expect much fun when she gets accepted to the University of Oxford, but it’s the only way to stay away from her controlling aunt. She doesn’t expect also Matteo Balsano, who is the most helpful out of everyone there. Is he really as perfect as it seems though?

previous chapters here

🌙

5/  and I will try to let you go if we get in too deep

The first thing she sees after opening her eyes that very morning, is blurry picture of the windows on her left, and the light coming in through them is unbearably blinding and she needs to hide her face in the pillow once again. It’s a soft, soft pillow, smelling with very boyish scent, but at the same time it smells a little like a furniture store and Luna is worried that by accident she ended up being locked in Ikea.

After last night’s blackout everything could have happened and she is very afraid of what she will see, but at least now she remembers there is no windows in Ikea. Bless the one last brain cell fighting for survival during this awful Saturday morning.

The mattress shifts next to her and Luna panics, wondering what the fuck had she done last night and with whom, and where, though currently she isn’t ready to face the truth, so she waits for her head to stop hurting so badly, with her face pressed into the pillow.

Using the moment, the brunette tries to collect what she remembers from before she lost the control, but everything she can focus on wondering whether this kiss with Matteo was just a drunk dream of hers or if it was real. Asking him wouldn’t look the best, so she is on her own with that.

Regaining some senses to herself, she can feel that she is wearing her skirt and tshirt, but also some warm sweater over this, which means the someone is a nice person; that they cared about her wellbeing enough they gave her something warm to wear. This gives Luna enough bravery to turn to be lying on her back; it’s always been awkward to stay in bed longer than the person whose place she was at, but today she doesn’t really care. Especially after seeing how the ceiling is turning around in weird way, if she got up, she would probably end up having her sight go black and her knees go weak.

There is a soft chuckle on her right and Luna hums, blinking to get some better vision before she turns to the source of the sound, and even if she didn’t control it, her body immediately relaxes completely.

Matteo is lying on his side, facing her, as his hand is supporting his head and there is a book in front of him. Surprisingly he has some tshirt on, it’s black and looks really well on him, not to mention the curiosity in his eyes while he waits for her to react. When she doesn’t do anything except staring at him, he does.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling?” His smile reaches his eyes, but just a little, and that’s enough for Luna to smile back. Before she panics.

“Have I done something weird or creepy last night?”

Matteo laughs softly as he closes the book without bothering to put any bookmark in. Her eyes move to his hand and higher to his arm until she spots some black lines on his skin and this is not the best for her sanity, but she will ask about it later.

“To be honest, you had done nothing that would be weird, you just drank too much most likely, got super clingy and sleepy, so I took you here since you left your purse at your friends’ place which means no keys to your place.”

She watches him as he keeps talking and it doesn’t sound that bad. Except the fact that she was clingy, probably all over Matteo makes her blush a little, but that’s all. “And then we came here and went to sleep?” She asks with raised eyebrows and the corners of his mouth go up slightly. “Yes, I went to get a shower and you crashed on my bed before changing into stuff I gave you, so I made you put on at least the sweater and let you sleep.”

Luna nods slowly, thinking deeply of what he said, being definitely too slow because of her hangover, but the boy in front of her apparently decided to wait patiently, and she really appreciates that.

“So,” she starts softly. “Nothing happened?”

Matteo scrunches his nose grinning, she thinks he will move closer to interact with her, touch her in any way, but he doesn’t. “Nothing happened. Don’t worry, sweet thing, I am not this kind of guy. I don’t need to get anyone that drunk for anything to happen.”

The brunette growls and rolls her eyes, turning away from him when he bursts into laughter. “You know, I wouldn’t do anything especially when you were this drunk,” he continues with a little softer of a tone and rests his hand on her waist over the blanket.

She looks at him over her shoulder. “Yeah, and you know that comment was very unnecessary.” He laughs again and pulls her to his chest, which has her a bit tense, but as soon as he plants soft kiss on top of her head, Luna relaxes and leans into him more.

“How are you feeling anyway, because I still haven’t asked,” he murmurs in her hair and she sighs. “My head hurts badly, but could be worse I guess.”

“I would offer you painkillers, but this requires me getting up and I don’t know if you want me to get up now.” He teases with tiny smile and Luna turns to him. “Yes, I will die if my head bursts so there would be no cuddles ever again.”

Matteo nods with small smile and kisses her shoulder before pulling away and humming something as he leaves the room closing the door behind. Luna just stares at his back and weird lines on his arm peeking from under the sleeve, apparently there are things she still didn’t know about him, and honestly there is probably a thousand details more she maybe will never find out about.

Her head pulses with another wave of pain and Luna growls, covering her eyes with her forearm, hoping it will stop. It really doesn’t, and Matteo seems to be away surely longer than just to get pills and a glass of water, but she doesn’t have enough power to just get up and go to look for him.

Eventually the mattress is moving again and she look from under the sweater.

“I have tea for you, maybe it will help a little too.” Luna smiles at this and slowly sits up with his help, he is sitting right next to her and moves her hair away from her face before passing her two pills. She takes them with small thanks, and soon she will melt under his touch, when he is caressing her back, almost reassuringly and she forgets about trying to be sane around him.

Luna decides to focus on warm tea, slightly sweet as if he added honey or a little sugar to it, probably not sure if she likes it sweet or not. That’s definitely more appreciated than his attempts at feeding her with coffee every morning, and the brunette keeps sending him smile from between glances around his bedroom.

It’s spacious and rather comfy, the bed is big for them to sleep next to each other without any touching; like last night, and it’s really, really great thing to sleep on. The mattress is soft, but not too soft to have her drown in it, or at least she tries to think of practical stuff instead of wondering if he brought any girl here before her, and if he did - how many?

There is a ton of volumes staying steadily on the tall, wide bookshelf, the covers in different sizes and colors, probably different languages as well. Luna has heard he had travelled a lot before going to college, but Matteo himself has never told her anything about that, neither has he any souvenirs from places he’d seen. Maybe he doesn’t like putting little things on the shelves, or maybe he is a practical human being, too serious, too proper for unimportant stuff gathering the dust.

Matteo pokes her softly, waking her up from zone out. “Are you okay? You are really tense,” he mumbles, taking the tea cup from her hand, even though she isn’t done yet.

“Yeah, I’m just looking around.”

He raises his eyebrow, it looks funny, because this small wavy wrinkle appears on his forehead just to disappear back smoothly when he gives up on weird looks. “You know how my bedroom looks, sweet thing. You have been here before.”

Luna shrugs softly, trying to make up some excuse. “Um-,” she starts, very vocal. “I never really got to check what kind of smart books you have up there, looking pretty and probably never read.” She sticks her tongue out at him as he gasps, making her giggle.

“Luna Valente, how do you even have a heart to make fun of me as you are sitting on my bed?

“Well, maybe find me some better thing to do?” She throws before she manages to think and he has surprised face, just for a mere second though and then small smirk covers his face. “And what means ‘better’ for you?”

The brunette panics a little, blinking slightly too fast as she searches through her mind for something, which isn’t easy when you look at the fact she has a headache of the century.

“Show me your what’s on your arm maybe,” she says softly, with genuine curiosity and Matteo seems confused until she takes her hand to the edge of his left sleeve and touches his skin without breaking the eye contact. Her fingers caress his shoulder under the thin fabric of his tshirt and this surely distracts him enough.

He clears his throat. “Ah, this. It’s a tattoo.”

“I had no idea you have a tattoo.” Luna hums, “do others know about it?”

Balsano shifts under her touch, as if it made him feel too much at once. “Not really. Just people that have seen me without a shirt on, you know.”

Luna nods, taking her hand and sighs, taking deep breath and staying in silence, because it soothes her headache.

“I wanna see.”

“What do you wanna see?” Matteo asks and she rolls her eyes. “The tattoo, duh.”

He licks his lips, sitting away on the bed and just takes off his shirt, but in a way it stays on his elbows. His chest and his back, just like his shoulders are visible, so Luna guesses he just didn’t wanna ditch it completely, or keep his hands to himself.

The latter most likely isn’t real, because Matteo Balsano never denies himself things.

She takes her eyes to his shoulder, the one she was curious of and she sits closer to see it. It’s nothing really special, or with some idea, it’s just a pretty pattern, geometric one and definitely took a lot of time to complete.

“Can I ask why did you decide to have it?” She asks, her voice quiet and chill since the moment is soft and she’s afraid loud talking would ruin it.

“I liked it. I thought it would look nice and it does.” He answers, but his answer doesn’t seem complete to Luna. “Is that all?”

It sounds a little pushy, and she wants to back away when his eyes change for a second, he boops her nose quickly. “Tattoos don’t need to have special meaning, sweet thing. Though maybe I wanted to piss someone off.”

His voice tells her that the topic is done, she won’t ask anything more to avoid any possible collision. She just keeps her fingers on his forearm, not sure what now, when he clearly cut the conversation.

“There is another one, though,” he murmurs near her ear, and Luna jumps confused with her nose scrunched. Matteo only chuckles and turns away to sit with his back facing her and having Luna gasp at the sight of straight lines and circles, bigger and smaller, some tiny, with thin shape or rather bold. Some are filled.

She lets out small sigh, it’s so pretty, but also. “Oh, Matteo. It must’ve hurt so, so much.”

He laughs loud, turns as he puts back his tshirt and pushes her down on the pillows. He leans over her, touching her nose with his and sighs with his hands on both sides of her head. “Stay soft, Luna Valente. It looks good on you.”

With that he kisses her quickly few times. And then again, and this time it’s not a soft kiss by any meaning.

🌙

Ambar doesn’t take her eyes off her phone screen even when she is sitting with Luna during their usual late lunch meeting. The brunette is having rather hard time; she is living for human interaction, for small talk and gossip, for normal conversations about the other, but her cousin gives her nothing but cold glances.

Luna eventually gives up, as always around the time they get their food. She tries to focus on today’s lasagna, and not mess up her new blouse she got few weeks ago during shopping with friends.

She is already used to those cold afternoons with Ambar, just quiet until someone just asks one question, that has answer either yes or no, so the talk dies quickly. Today they already shared like 5 lines, so the limit is reached and Luna is sure she will be able to enjoy the lasagna fully.

“I have heard you and Balsano have a thing.” Smith asks matter of factly as she digs her fork into fish she ordered.

Luna can’t remember the day she choked on her dinner as much as today, but definitely lasagna would be the one to blame if she died. “What? I wouldn’t say we have a thing.”

Ambar rolls her eyes. “Yeah, call it as you wish, it’s your business, but when you make out with a guy in a visible place, Lunita, people start talking. You can of course deny, because everyone was too drunk to record a video, or too scared of Balsano, but I don’t approve that.”

“No offense, Ambar, but I don’t need your approval to do things.”

“As long as you use brain while doing things I don’t care. I just don’t need people to keep asking me around whether I know shit to gossip about or no.”

Luna huffs, slightly offended even though she started with the no offense, but that’s the charm of her cousin, who is able to annoy everyone, even Luna herself who is always forgiving and tolerant.

But when she doesn’t say anything, Ambar continues. “I am here not to trash you, even though I would love that. It’s Sharon’s job and you surely have enough of it. I just want to remind you that since you already chose yourself this boy to, I don’t know, do stuff with, you have to remember you are exposed to other people. You should decide yourself if all the stages of recruitment you’ve come through and the interviews to actually get here were worth it.”

Luna sighs, playing with the molten cheese on top of her lasagna and tries to analyze what Ambar just said. It makes sense, at least she guesses it does. Though, there is one thing that has her unsure.

“Um, does he do this often?” She asks with soft voice, calm and powerless and the blonde sends her uncomfortable look.

“Hardly ever.”

🌙

It’s been quiet for some time already, which could be surprising, but the fact they all have tests in following days made them stop trying to gossip at least for this afternoon. Luna manages to focus amazingly, or at least since when Nina told Jim and Yam to shut up, it’s been quite chill and calm around. Her phone isn’t buzzing anymore since Matteo had some important union stuff to do and Luna hasn’t been pushing in any way, she has her own things to do. Maybe there is less and less of them since she met the Italian boy, but there is something still only hers and this is definitely studying with the girls.

She is going for the record of read and understood pages in a row when someone kicks her on the ankle. She just huffs and throws a glare at the table, yet her ginger friend is just sending her subtle signs to look behind, and Yam is just staring.

Luna rolls her eyes and turns back to the book, but now even Nina clears her throat, so it’s most likely thing at least worth of a glance behind. She leaves a bookmark between the pages last she read and sighs before turning towards the direction all the girls keep staring at.

Now Luna should appreciate the long hallway in the middle of this one of Oxford libraries, because she can see Matteo walking through it slowly, just at the same time flipping through some book with dark cover, and talking to the boy with curly hair he’s been hanging out with more often recently. He doesn’t seem to know that she is there staring at him, but Luna hopes he will spot her as soon as possible since her silly heart already wants to jump out of her chest and run to him quickly.

As Matteo and his friend pass her table on their left by she feels small tiny disappointment and Jim huffs loudly, earning the attention of the boys. Luna gasps, not sure if she should be thankful or regret this. When Matteo‘s eyes rest on her for few mere seconds, just to slide away slowly in lazy, very typical for him manner, Luna feels like throwing up. They keep walking and she doesn’t even check where, because she needs to focus on not looking like she feels; which means like a total fool, even if she hasn’t told her friends about how comfy she has gotten with Matteo, chilling and watching tv show in his bed few days ago.

“Have you seen that?” Jim huffs once again, her face just as red as her hair. “I have no idea what this ‘that’ even was, but who does he think he is?” Yam answers, blinking her eyes in disbelief.

Luna doesn’t really know if it’s such a big deal; if it should be such a big deal, or at least as big as her friends make it be. She knows it wasn’t really normal, no matter if he ignored her, if she can call it that of course, on purpose or just was in hurry somewhere only he knows. To be honest, the brunette only wants to forget any boy stuff that’s going on, and focus on study, because God’s a witness that’s what she should be actually doing right now.

“I don’t believe this though.” Jim speaks again, or more like murmurs finishing the conversation Luna missed here, too busy with her thoughts, too distracted. Nothing new, and the girls normally let her slide with this, but apparently not today. She feels a nudge on her ribs. “Come on. Are you gonna just sit and let him think he can be all hot and cold?” The ginger haired girl continues. Nina sends her helpless look and Luna just shrugs at them all, not sure how to act now.

She guesses that she will have to talk to Matteo about this, but first she will most likely ignore him for a while. If it’s possible to ignore Matteo Balsano when he doesn’t want to be ignored, because from what she has learned about him is that he never wants to be ignored, and he doesn’t like that.

“I think,” Nina starts, for the first time in the entire conversation about Matteo. “That you should let Luna do whatever she wants to, and that he deserves to have his ass kicked for not even stopping by to say hi.”

“I agree!” Yam raises her hand almost hitting Jim on the head. “Nina maybe you can speak Luna back to her senses. I still remember daily morning coffee special for you, and now he just ‘blesses’ you with his look.” The word ‘blesses’ her friend says with such a disgust, she actually wants to laugh. Though everything here seems true and makes very much sense, at the same time Luna can’t believe this. She knows Matteo wouldn’t do anything asshole-ish, at least not the same Matteo who kept playing sleepy with her hair, wrapping single strands around his fingers. He wouldn’t be an asshole.

“Girls, please. You are making drama and I am able to handle this by myself. But not here and now, it’s not the right place and time, and I would love to remind you that no matter how much you will stress, the test is still coming.” Jim stares at her very pouty, so she just continues. “No matter how much you bitch about a boy. If any of you says one more word, I’m going to my place, because I really want to pass and I don’t have time for distractions like this.”

“So you are really going to let this go? For real, Luna?” The only blonde girl by the table asks and Luna stares at her unsure, everything happened like five minutes ago so she doesn’t have any plan for this. She will see when she meets him in person, most likely alone, avoiding attention of weird people.

“I don’t know. I will see when I have mind for this. And you should drop this finally, since Matteo fills most of our conversations and it tires me up. Plus throwing all accusations and making up all stories and weird reasons before even knowing what the other side has to say is very wrong. I don’t want to jump into conclusions.”

With this she gets up, gathers her stuff and leaves, hoping her brain will let her do anything productive that day.

🌙

Matteo, 16:54 Hi, how are you?

Matteo, 17:02 Are you okay?

Matteo, 17:20 Luna

Matteo, 17:47 Text me back

Matteo, 18:14 I hope you didn’t fall asleep while studying

Matteo, 18:45 Luna Valente, please

🌙

She actually had managed to study, she turned off her phone and made notes, promising herself that the sooner she is done, the sooner she will do nice stuff like procrastinating other things, avoiding Matteo and avoiding her friends. It’s not that she wants to ignore the guy, and make him feel guilty, because that’s not the point. The point is that it’s expected from her to make a drama, or something. Yeah, she indeed felt hurt and offended, but it’s not like they are anything, there is no promises, or words what they will do or what they will not.

She hasn’t seen Matteo for whole day, not since the library time, and it made her somehow calm and peaceful. Though, her brain was trying to pull her into weird places and conclusion space, but chemistry has been too messy to think of Italian boys and their chocolate eyes.

That’s why she is so surprised to see hundred of texts after turning her phone back on; almost all of them from the chat with the girls, a message from mom and few texts from Matteo. She decides to answer him as the first.

Me whats up?

After this, she goes to change into some comfy stuff and makes some tea. It’s her me-time and Luna plans to enjoy it to the fullest, calling her mom after dinner time in Mexico, hopefully she will catch her dad and it will be perfect evening. Her phone buzzes and she automatically reaches for it.

Matteo I should be asking you that I mean I hope you are fine How has your afternoon been?

She rolls her eyes softly at three texts at once, but she guesses if she had this ability to fast typing not only in emergency or tea spill moment, she would’ve used it.

Me ive been eating cake and stalking spanish models on insta no jk i was studying bc the girls didnt let me

Matteo Very funny, really Do you have time now?

The brunette bites on her lower lip, wondering what he wants from her, why is he asking her about her time, if he wants to go out somewhere or come over. It kind of ruins her plans, but her inability to say no is showing.

Me why are you asking? Matteo Haven’t seen you much today, just want to catch up

🌙

He promised her tea.

He promised her tea, in a nice coffee shop, with not many people around and soft music in the background. It’s warm, just like he said, and really pretty; there is floral pattern on one of the walls, the rest has dried flowers in glass frames. There are armchairs instead of the chairs, with pillows and Luna wonders whether it’s a place to hang out with people, or more like nap time, when there is no place to stay.

She is sitting on one of those very comfortable, light brown armchairs, her legs are curled up next to her as they are waiting for their drinks be ready. Matteo is in front of her, in dark shirt, softly checkered with white, and black vest over it. When Luna did see them first, she honestly lost her shit and she needs to calm herself until now from time to time, reminding herself that yeah, he is real and the waitress hasn’t really tried to throw herself over his lap.

“To be honest, I’m surprised I managed to drag you out of your place,” he throws in the middle of the conversation as she was flipping through dessert card.

“And why is that?” she asks, looking at him from over the menu and she wonders if those sparks of the feeling of attraction in her stomach will ever chill whenever her eyes are on him. Most likely no.

“Because it’s already late afternoon and since you were studying I was sure you would tell me to chill my ass and leave you alone.”

Luna pouts, scrunching her nose. “You know I would have never done that. I am a nice person Matteo, and if I turn someone down, I do it as nicely as possible.”

He sends her soft look, even if a little amused. “Okay then, I’m sorry and I am really happy you decided to probably change out of your sweats to meet me.”

“Yeah, though as soon as I see that you indeed ordered tea with milk, I’m leaving and you shall never see me again, Matteo.” She sticks her tongue out at him as he rolls his eyes. “I drink it only when I need to soften some professor so they see I’m proper English student. But privately I rarely drink tea.”

The brunette hums, as the ice cream on this page looks delicious. Sadly it’s too cold for that today. “And yet here you are, taking me out for a tea.”

“I am and I’m very proud of that.” He grins and wants to say something else, but the waitress puts the tall cups of tea in front of them. Matteo thanks her with small smile and Luna does the same, yet doesn’t receive any look from the waitress named Olivia, whose eyes are glued to the Italian boy and it’s as funny as annoying. She still thanks her for bringing her order and hopes Matteo ignores the girl more or less.

🌙

It’s around nine when he they leave. He helps her with putting on the jacket and gives her his scarf, because it got windy. She keeps sending him small smiles, hoping that he will answer her when she asks about earlier; she didn’t want to ask before to not ruin the nice, soft mood and the brunette herself enjoyed it enough to postpone the uncomfortable questions.

They aren’t in any hurry, walking slowly and talking still just like they have talked for past hours, she listened to Matteo talking about classes and union and tiring classes in the morning. Hopefully they do this again, just hang out without drama around, people gossipping, because she doesn’t really like this kind of attention. She never minded it before, but this is very unhealthy and better if avoided.

His fingers tense slightly when she slides hers around them, maybe he isn’t used to holding hands while walking with someone, but Luna decides to try and sends him small smile. After this, Matteo smiles back and his grip on her hand tightens.

“Can I ask you something?” she mumbles, just slightly unsure as they get inside the building.

He raises his eyebrows, but still relaxed. “Yeah, sweet thing, you can ask me whatever you want.”

“Um,” Luna starts, already fidgeting with his fingers. “I just wanted to know if you were okay this morning. In the library. Because you didn’t even say hi or something.”

Matteo sends her a little sheepish look, but it lasts just a second, before it’s back to those thinking eyes, as he appears in front of her having her crashing into his chest since they were walking. Slowly, but still walking. She pulls away embarrassed with red cheeks, but he smiles. She didn’t even notice they got to the door of her dorm. “This morning I had to finish my paper for astronomy, because it was due to noon so I went to the library and I was just in hurry. I’m sorry if it made you feel bad, you should’ve told me earlier, or even back then.” He takes her face in his hands, his thumb caressing her cheeks so softly, so gently she can’t really breathe. Luna stares at him with wide eyes, not wanting to blink when he is so close, so she can take all his face and memorize it; every tiny freckle and the length of his lashes and the small dimple when his mouth curls in a smile.

Matteo Balsano is an unusual man and he knows it, and she doesn’t mind that, as long as he is looking at her like that, speaking his voice this soft. “I had no idea it would upset you so much. I wanted to see you later to catch up so I texted you.”

She just nods softly, overwhelmed with the way he is talking to her. His nose brushes hers with some kind of tenderness. “I mean it’s not even that I was upset. I was just surprised, plus the girls-” he cuts in. “No offense to the girls, but they seem overly dramatic most of the times.”

Luna blinks surprised, because how would he know how her friends are? “What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean anything bad of course, just that they seem impulsive, quickly jumping to conclusions. Not to try to get between you and them, but maybe you should just take things as they are, without listening that much to their huffs and puffs.” The brunette hums and opens her mouth, but Matteo continues. “That’s of course my suggestion, you will do what your pretty head decides.”

She nods, smiling a little again, because that actually makes sense for her melted at this point. “You are right. Anyway, do you want some hot chocolate?” The question is just a tool to change the topic, and they both know it, but it apparently works.

“Sure, with whipped cream and chocolate stars.”

He kisses her slowly on the forehead, the nose, and finally on the lips, relaxing all of her muscles that have been tense and she hasn’t even known that.

🌙

but right now I'm gonna let this slide, you'll be mine, mine, mine

[robbinsarizonas]

Home Again

In the week I got an awesome prompt from @soccerplusgirl who said ‘Could you write Amelia going to new york to find the best neurosurgeon to remove her tumour. she drops in to see her mom and they make up. I wanty this so badly. I need Amelia to make up with her mom’ and I loved it so much so thankyou for that. I wrote this almost straight away, and then just kept forgetting to post it xD So here it is, finally :)

New York. She had never thought she would be back. She had no reason to come back. Her family had basically disowned her, and her work was in Seattle. She had memories of New York, of course she did, they weren’t all bad, but she had never imagined herself coming back.

Now, she was standing in the middle of the airport with her suitcase sitting up on it’s little wheels, ready to be pulled along whenever Amelia decided to move from the spot she had planted herself in. She knew the way, that wasn’t the problem. Fear, fear was the problem. Going out of the airport would mean facing things more than she had had to before. Going out of the airport would mean this wasn’t going away, this was happening.

There was a neurosurgeon in New York. A pretty good one. Of course, he wasn’t as good as she was, but she couldn’t operate on herself, and this guy seemed like the next best thing. She wasn’t confident, she wasn’t confident at all. She had never met the guy, only talked with him on the phone to great struggle on her end. She wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to pull if off, but at least this way she had a chance. A proper chance. More of a chance then she had when she had been locked up in that room all day, every day, looking at scans and going out of her mind.

She pulled on the handle of her suitcase and it started to roll along behind her as she walked towards the airport exit.

Outside looked just as she remembered it. It looked like New York. It /smelt/ like New York. It was busy and crowded and if you didn’t keep up you could get knocked down. Amelia pulled her suitcase over a bump in the sidewalk and walked along with it for a few moments before stopping to hail a cab.

She wasn’t entirely sure where she was going. She had booked a hotel room, but she didn’t feel like going there. Not yet, not now. Words had come out of her mouth before she had even had a chance to think, and before she knew it they were on the move.

It took a little while to get to their destination, but when they arrived Amelia paid the cab driver and lugged her suitcase out of the back, dropping it down onto the hard ground below.

There was a long row of town houses directly in front of her, the street being the same on both sides. Some of them looked pretty shabby, but it wasn’t a bad area. There were trees lining the edges of the sidewalk, and a little green grass for purely decorative purposes. Amelia looked up at the house that sat directly in front of her, towering over her like it was much bigger than it actually was. She pulled on the handle of her suitcase and bumped it up the curb, stopping at the edge of the stairs to lift it up. She pushed in the doorbell, and waited to see if anyone was going to answer. She wouldn’t have been surprised at no answer. She wouldn’t have even been surprised if the not answering had been deliberate upon seeing Amelia through the window. There was an answer though. It took a few moments, but there was an answer.

“Mom…” Amelia said as soon as her mother answered the door.

“Amelia? What are you… doing here?” Carolyn asked. It wasn’t like this had ever happened before. Her daughter didn’t even call these days, she hadn’t heard from her since she had been invited to some wedding that she didn’t attend.

“Can I come in?” Amelia asked, her voice no longer like the confident adult she had grown to be, more like the 5 year old girl who couldn’t sleep at night because she had seen her father shot right in front of her.

Carolyn moved out of he doorway so her daughter could come in.

“I told you it wouldn’t work out, you never think before you do things Amelia.” Carolyn said, assuming Amelia was here because her ‘marriage’ had fallen apart. “It’s one impulsive decision after another.” Carolyn sighed. She wasn’t gonna deny her daughter a roof over her head and food, but that didn’t mean she agreed with her actions.

“That’s not..” Amelia didn’t feel like she had the energy to fight with her mother. She hadn’t come here to fight. She wasn’t even sure why she had. “That’s not what happened.”

“Then why are you here?” Carolyn asked. “As much as I want to say it’s nice to have you here whatever the circumstances…” She couldn’t quite bring herself to actually say that, because Amelia was known to bring trouble with her.

“I’m sick.” Amelia blurted before her mother had even finish what she was saying. “I’m sick.” She repeated a few seconds later.

“You’re what?” Carolyn said, since she could swear she had just heard the words 'I’m sick’ come out of her daughter’s mouth.

“I have a tumor…” Amelia said. Saying the words hadn’t got any easier, even though by this point she had said it so much she didn’t even need to think it anymore. “A brain tumor…” She clarified. “It’s huge, it’s uh, 10 centimetres, it’s in my left frontal lobe…” She swallowed, she wasn’t sure if it would ever get any easier.

“Oh god…” Carolyn said, sinking down into a chair. “Is it operable?” She asked, fearing the worst.

“That’s why I’m here… There’s a doctor who thinks he can take it out….” Amelia explained, letting go of the handle of her suitcase and just letting it sit.

“He just thinks he can take it out? He doesn’t know?” Carolyn said, instantly going into 'protective mother mode’ which was slightly strange for Amelia, because she hadn’t seen her mother like this in quite some time.

“There’s a chance. I wanted a chance.” Amelia said, wanting to just collapse into her mother’s arms and be held for a good long while.

“Okay well I’m coming with you. I’m your mother, I’m coming with you. I want to see this surgeon and make sure he knows what he’s doing.” Carolyn commanded, showing she meant business.

“You know you don’t have to.” Amelia said, not wanting to seem like she was forcing her. “I’m an adult, I can handle things for myself.” She wasn’t pushing, she wasn’t snapping, not this time, but she was making sure it was clear, even if it wasn’t entirely true.

“I’m coming, that’s the end of that. When is the appointment?” Carolyn asked.

“Tomorrow, 10am.” Amelia said, the date and time had been etched into her brain since it had been arranged over the phone.

“Right. Make yourself comfortable, I’ll make dinner. You can sleep in your old bedroom, there’s still a bed in there.” Carolyn said, walking off in the direction of the kitchen as she spoke.

“I actually booked a hotel, I didn’t even mean to come here.” Amelia said, she hadn’t meant to come here and she really hadn’t meant to stay.

“Nonsense.” Carolyn said. “There’s no way you’re staying in a hotel.” She added, shouting from the kitchen down the other end of the house.

Amelia felt calmer than she had in days. She felt like she could finally breathe again. The world wasn’t spinning so fast and so out of control. She could stand still, and feel okay. She took a deep breath and leant back into the couch cushions, closing her eyes. Maybe things were actually going to be okay.

[niponmirai02]

Black Butler: Book of the Atlantic (My Review)

Wednesday June 14th, 7pm, English Dub

For those who have not yet seen the movie, I would advise to... PROCEED WITH CAUTION! THIS FOLLOWING POST WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!! (Fyi, I have not yet read much of the manga... b/c there they don’t have much copies around here *sad face*, but I am well aware that this film is the adaption of the ‘Luxury Liner Arc’)

= I flipping squealed and clapped excitedly the second I saw Sebastian and heard his english dub voice. Again, I LUV J. Michael Tatum’s Sebastian voice. *internally fangirling like crazy*

= My friend was spazzing out in confusion about Tanaka’s super deformed form. Did Koukai seriously forget? Lolz. Boy did I have to re-explain it to him.

= Hello again Rau and Ran-mao. Such a shame this was the only moment we get to see you two in the film.

= Lol, Ciel’s reaction/response to Sebastian wearing a doctor/medial outfit. Really interesting to see Sebastian wearing anything else other than his usual butler uniform. Regardless, he is still ‘one hell of a [hawt] butler’.

= Alexis Leon Midford cheek rubbing and hugging Ciel Phantomhive. FUNNY AND ADORABLE AT THE SAME TIME!

= Edward Midford “Mc Sourpuss”. I can somewhat understand the typical big brother overprotecting a younger sister, but why can’t you be happy for your sister?! At least their father approves of Ciel.

= Sebastian’s slick back hair. One word:... HAWT!!

= Charles Grey referencing Sebastian’s “death” from Book of Murder pt 1 & 2/Phantomhive Manor Murders Arc.

= Ciel in blonde wig... Cute. Sebastian wearing a ponytail... GAUD DAYUM SEXEH!!!

= “We are phoenixes!!”. Ahhaahaa!! Ciel’s reaction is PRICELESS!! [Woah never expected to hear added content of Ciel’s thoughts. Nice]

= Aleister and Ciel’s interaction! *bursting into laughter with Kouhai and audience*

= The entire Aurora society doing the Phoenix Dance pose. Aww darn, where is Ciel’s reaction where you need it?!?!! XD Lolz.

= Undertaker why are you hiding behind the machine...and smiling. What are you up to? [FORESHADOWING]

= Gotta love Snake feeding the snakes.

= Lost count to how many times the audience laughed everytime they hear Snake speaking out what the snakes are “saying”/hissing.

= Jesus! The soulless body ate Lizzie’s cake for Ciel?! RUN!!! [No joke, the sudden pan to seeing the corpse behind them nearly scared the SHEEEET outta me]

= Snake still calling Ciel “Smile”. Totes love the Book of Circus/Circus arc reference.

= Ronald casually rolling away on his lawnmower death scythe like its some sort of an electric scooter and Sebastian’s confused [yet sexy] facial expression. LOVE IT!

= Oh gaud dayum, the demonic growl/laugh Bassy made

= Ciel recalling back to when he first saw Sebastian in his demon form.

= Demon butler ONE, Corpses ZERO!

= Wait, did Sebastian inverted his blood covered gloves or did he have a spare in his pocket? Lol, he didn’t realize at first his gloves were soaked with blood after his fight against the group of corpses.

= Grell Sutcliff enters the scene. *cue audience and self squealing in excitement. also, insert Kouhai looks at me with a WTF look on his face*

= Grell and Ronald TITANIC MOMENT!! *cue audience and self bursting into uncontrollable laughter* AHHAHAHAHA!!!! Can’t breathe! I’m dying! Is GrellxRonald canon now?! XD lolz. THIS IS FAUKIN’ COMEDY GOLD RIGHT THERE!! CLASSIC!!!! Grell I understand, but Ronald?! BWAHHAHAA!!!

= Elizabeth, darling, I love you to pieces but please quit worrying about your dress. This is a matter of life and death--oh nevermind, she realizes her action. Still is one of my favorite female characters in the Black Butler series.

= Partly unbuttoned soaking wet shirt Sebastian. *intense fangasming* [to self: AWW DAYUM BABEH!!! I would love to have you in bed with me, LMFAO <3] Kouhai: SHIELD YOURSELF! *attempts to cover my eyes but fails. I bat him away, lolz*

= “Mr. Sutcliff--” Ronald totally confirmed to the audience that Grell is definitely a male.

= Dayum Lizzie! You got some mad fencing skills. 360 NO SCOPE BEECHES! No seriosly! She goes full on ninja on these corpses with ease. Running along the walls and ceiling. GAUD DAYUM! Fave BB female character for sure (tied with Mey-rin, of course).

= AWW!! Elizabeth’s thoughts of self and memories of Ciel is soo heartfelt touching! Elizabeth feeling different than the other girls because of her amazing fencing skills. She is worried about what young Ciel said regarding his dislike towards strong female. OUCH! Right in the feels! And holding her true self back just for Ciel’s sake!

= For some reason, young Charles Phipps almost sounded a bit more closely to Sebastian. Maybe that’s just me.

= Present day Ciel doesn’t care about that anymore Lizzie, especially since he said that he said that was a long time and finds no reason to feel mad at her for recently saving their lives. AWW!! I seriously ship CielxLizzie (it is but one of many of my favorite BB ships)!! Kouhai: Sorry I don’t have a tissue [LMFAO! I wasn’t literally crying!]

= Sebastian laughing. I repeat! Sebastian is LAUGHING! And blushing?! HE IS BLUSHING!?! SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS IS COVERING HIS MOUTH AND LAUGHING WITH A TINY BIT FLUSH OF RED ON HIS FACE PEOPLE!!! *nosebleed* *audience laughter*

= Ciel totally calling Sebastian out to stop it with the laughing. That doesn’t mean you can stop US from laughing now does it, LOLZ.

= Sebastian, Ciel, Grell, and Ronald’s response to Aleister making them reenact his version of the Phoenix pose. *audience roaring laughter* First it was like ‘no, don’t kill him’, then later... ‘skrew dat, let’s just kill him’. LMFAO.

= HAHAHA!!! The Phoenix dance pose, Aleister Chamber style!!

= CIEL’S REACTION TO DOING IT AGAIN!!! PRICELESS!!!

= HOLY SHEEET UNDERTAKER!! MAJOR PLOT TWIST!! DUN DUN DUNNNN~!!!!

= What the heck are the corpses standing around for? Undertaker is explaining his big reveal and those soulless bodies aren’t attacking?!!

= Seriously Grell? Did you forget what happened in episode 18 of season 1 in Black Butler?

= Da heck! Added cinematic records... of Undertaker wearing a fake mustache!?! LMFAO!!

= THE ORIGINAL DEATH SCYTHE?!?! Love the design!

= Sebastian reaching out to grab Ciel’s hand scene...dead silent. Random audience member: “Why is it quiet?” *audience laughs* [to self: SHUDDUP! WE ALL KNOW WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN!]. *cue all the fangirls shrieking* Me: “NO!! BASSY!!!” [yes I cried that out loud].

= Sebastian’s demonic sounding voice. *nosebleed* They seriously need to use that more often if the series picks in 5 or 10 or more seasons.

= THIS is why many fans believe Sebastian looks closely similar to Ciel’s father.

= Did he originally have regretting second thoughts of forming a contract with a young “brat” who couldn’t remember where his burnt down manor was located? LMFAO.

= Food magically appearing on the table. *sarcasm* Totally not suspicious. Lol, even Ciel called Sebastian out on that.

= Sebastian teaching Ciel to be proper and adult like while Ciel “teaches” him how to be more like a butler... namely making better tasting tea and meals. Seriously love seeing the developmental progress between the two.

= Ciel pouring tea into Sebastian’s hand... as payback for slapping his hands with a stick (or whatever that thing is called, idk). My word!

= A quick few second glimpse of Sebastian’s bedroom!! Sitting at his desk and writing down his own thoughts about Ciel. *internal fangirl intensifies, lolz*

= Is Ciel having a nightmare? I wanna cuddle him soo badly.

= “One hell of a butler”. AHH HE SAID IT!! *nosebleed* I can die happy now...wait, no I can’t, need to watch the rest of the movie.

= Sebastian wincing from the pain. THE FEELS! My little heart can’t take much more of this!

= Uh oh! The luxury ship is sinking quickly now! Time to go everybody!

= Soulless corpses surviving the freezing cold ocean water. [Why do I feel a hint of “The Walking Dead” vibe]

= Sebastian Michaelis vs Horde of Corpses round 2! Liek a bauss!

= Bassy coughing and panting to his injury. AWW!! Poor baby! [Why do I feel so turned on by this?! Answer: b/c of my soft spot for physical or emotional vulnerability]

= What exactly is that thing Ciel took from Undertaker and why is it of much importance?

= Ciel telling Sebastian to rest when they return to the manor. Why do I feel the urging desire to see anime Sebastian ‘sleeping’ or laying down in his bed or something?

= Kouhai blurted out loud “To be continued!” [Lol]

= End of movie scene: WILLIAM!!! Picking up Grell and Ronald with his garden trimmer death scythe... then goes to berating them on their performance and beating the sense out of them, lol.

= Grell, you beautiful silly person you! Swooning over William the second you wake up! He just got hauled you out of the ocean water and you go falling back in once again?! LMFAO! [I don’t know about you guys, but I had a sudden “Notice me sempai!” “Denied!” feeling at the moment]

 My Thoughts: Overall, the animation was utterly beautiful and soo well done. I seriously love the character design...obviously. There were boatloads of hilarious moments from start to finish, along with some heartfelt and tear jerker events particularly about Ciel and Elizabeth’s past memories. So far the only minor thing that bothered me was the mix of seeing both the 3D CGI animation with the 2D traditional hand-drawn animation. Being a visual-learner, I have become rather quick to notice the obvious difference between traditional 2D and cel shaded 3D animation. But that, however, DID NOT STOP ME from watching and enjoying the movie... and LOVING it to pieces. Oh, and additionally I’m a bit sad that it was a one day and one night time thing and only screened in very few theater locations. I understand how many Black Butler fan were sad that they will miss watching it because it was either far away from where they lived and/or were busy with other important matters to tend to such as jury duty, work, stuck in traffic, tending to family, etc. Not gonna lie, throughout majority of the movie my eyes were fixated on Sebastian whenever he was on screen. J. Michael Tatum voicing Sebastian just seriously made me fangasm (I’m obsessed, I know. But I can’t help myself. He’s HAWT!!!).

Rate: 100/10 [And yes I mean one hundred] It was amazing!! I LOVED IT TO BITS! Would so totally love to see it again, if possible. Can’t wait for it to come out on DVD (if it does)!

PS: OMG!! TOTALLY IRREVERENT BUT SOME ONE COSPLAYED AS EREN YEAGER!!

Black Butler Tag: @sebastianshoe