#[[ if i add this verse he's NOT getting named Ben by Aunt May ]]

[wovendeath]

// a baby.

[pennameab]

There's something that's been bothering me about Across the Spiderverse and after watching the movie for a second time, it's been brought back to my attention. So if you haven't seen the movie yet, what the hell are you doing with your life? It's such a good movie. It's on Netflix! Go watch it! Rent it! Go go go!

We see Miguel talk to Miles about canon events and how they're the things that tie all the spider people together. Ok I get that. Sure, whatever.

What's been bothering me is Miguel claiming that Miles is the original anomaly. It doesn't make sense to me. We know that the spider that bit Miles was from Universe 42. So the Miles there that was supposed to get bit never got bit. I get that. But Miguel claims that this is what causes the anomaly. But the spider that was brought over to Miles' dimension was brought over by the people who were studying multiple dimensions. So what's the say that wasn't supposed to happen? To Miles at least. And other subsequent spider people? I don't think the spiderverse is that fragile. I think it's a bit more flexible than Miguel makes it out to be.

What we do see is that Miguel himself caused a universe to break down. He even admits it. By trying to slip into a role that wasn't his. Why didn't he try to have a family in his original universe? Why didn't he try to create what he wanted from the universe he broke down organically? He cheated. He didn't want to do it organically. He wanted the easy way. He BROKE a universe!

Miguel is the anomaly here. Not Miles. We see that Miles' dimension is stable. There's nothing breaking down, falling apart like it happened for Miguel. I think that since Miguel cheated to get what he wanted, the multiverse corrected itself since he wasn't in HIS original dimension. He wasn't there to provide for HIS OWN canon events. That's what caused everything to break down. He's the anomaly. And he's using Miles as a scapegoat to fix HIS mistakes.

What does every spider person have in common? They get bit by a spider. We see Miguel inject himself with some sort of spider venom. That's not something any other spider person, that we've seen, has had to do. See I don't think he ever got bit. I don't think HE is supposed to be a Spiderman. In the dimension with his daughter, he dies. He doesn't become a Spiderman. So what's the say that in his own universe, he still doesn't become a Spiderman.

HE'S the original anomaly. The universes falling apart started with him. Because he caused one to unravel. And when a web starts to unravel, it kinda cascades, doesn't it? It all started with Miguel O'Hara. It has to end with him. It has to be fixed somehow. And I think Miles is that solution. Miguel caused such a ripple in the web that things have to shift to get it stable again. Which is why Miles' dimension is stable. Gwen's father quits being a cop for her, an anomaly to the "canon" events. Patvir (forgive me if I misspelled his name) was able to save his girlfriend and her father. Yes everyone agrees this is an anomaly but we see that that's not the reason his dimension is falling apart. I don't think it would've had the whole spot thing happened.

I think that's what's going to be the focus of the next movie. At least I hope so. If not, I'd love for some clarification or answer to all of this. This is going to bother me until I have answers. I just have thoughts man!

Edit: AND ANOTHER THING! This just occurred to me so I thought I'd add it in. I feel like it has some relevancy. The "original" Miguel, the one we see, obviously didn't have a family he was close to. It's why he wanted the family the other version of him made. Miguel 2.0. What if, and hear me out, OG Miguel losing his daughter to the dimension collapsing was a canon event for him? What do we see in all the spider people? They lose someone they love which makes them become a hero. For Gwen it was Peter. For Miles, his uncle Aaron. We see this across the verses with Uncle Ben dying, aunt May for Tom Holland's Spiderman (which we can say is canon in the universe because Miguel even brings it up with Dr. Strange). If, let's say, Miguel was supposed to become a spider person, but he didn't have anyone close to him to lose, what would make him want to be a hero? How do we make him fit the "canon"? He still has to lose someone. Miguel going to that other dimension and losing his daughter was his reason to become a hero. It was supposed to happen. In which case, my theory on him being the anomaly kinda falls apart. And I'm ok with this. BUT it also means that the Spiderverse never needed fixing to begin with (aside from all the villains popping into dimensions that don't belong to them. That's. Yeah that's a problem). I think by insisting he's fixing the multiverse, OG Miguel might be breaking it unknowingly. How's that for a plot twist right!?

[thevindicativevordan]

You did one for Hulk (incredible btw). Got any thoughts on Spider-Man?

He used to be one of my favorites.

It's easy to see why Spidey took off as Marvel's premiere character, and competitor with Batman for the most popular superhero ever. If you'll indulge my DC bias, Spider-Man sits at the intersection between Superman and Batman. Like Superman, Spider-Man never knew his birth parents, and was instead adopted and raised by an elderly couple. Uncle Ben and Aunt May are the people Peter thinks of as his mom and dad, and it's their lives that help shape Peter. Both Superman and Spider-Man wear colorful red and blue costumes, both have iconic jobs working for newspapers with cantankerous bosses, and both have a lot of Jewish DNA in them because of their creators. Like Batman however, Spider-Man has a tragic parental figure's death to motivate him, he has a very poor reputation with the public, they both style themselves on animals, and both have strong roots in the cities they protect. That Peter's greatest foe, the Green Goblin, also stands at the intersection between Lex Luthor and the Joker makes for a great parallel. Add in that Spider-Man has the second best Rogues Gallery in comics, and it's clear Peter drew on the best attributes from his predecessors as a foundation.

What separates Peter from them though is that he was the first hero with real problems. Neither Superman or Batman had to worry about paying rent regularly like Peter did. Both stood apart from their peers by choice, while Peter wanted to make friends but wasn't able to do it. Krypton and the Waynes died through no fault of Supes or Bats, but Uncle Ben's death was something Peter was at fault for if indirectly. Then you had Gwen Stacy killed as a direct result of Peter's superhero career, introducing the idea of heroes who could fail. Spider-Man was pitched as the flawed hero, the human hero, the guy you could think of yourself as being if you got superpowers. You would screw up and make mistakes, but you'd try your best regardless. Of course the readers would be drawn to, and identify with him, and that's both the secret to his success and what keeps fucking him over. A lot of guys see Peter as their self-insert, so they keep trying to return to their youth through him which keeps derailing him as a character. My entry into Spider-Man fandom came during one of the brief lulls from Marvel trying to reset him to what they see as his "roots".

I remember seeing the Rami Spider-Man movies in the theater and being utterly entranced. I played the first Spider-Man movie tie-in game pretty religiously as a kid (fuck that level where you infiltrate OsCorp, those robots were insane), as well as other Spider-Man games such as Web of Shadows. Can still hear the theme song of the 90s animated Spider-Man show in my head, that show's versions of Green Goblin and Venom are still my favorite takes. All this is a rambling way of saying that "my" Spider-Man was formed during a period where Marvel seemed ok with Peter being more adult, something they've been trying to roll back ever since.

Peter was a college student in the 90s cartoon, the comics had him and MJ married (my first Spidey comic was vol. 1 of JMS' Amazing Spider-Man run, so Peter and MJ being married is the "default" for me), the video games were set in the Ramiverse so he was a college student there as well. It's such a weird era to look back on in retrospect given what's to come and what came before. Peter had problems and was flawed, but he was also so much more mature and thoughtful, intelligent in a way beyond just being a science whiz. He and MJ had a great dynamic as a couple under JMS. They were so clearly in love and also utterly unwilling to take each others shit that it was just a joy to read. That relationship really was something I dearly loved, and of course I took it poorly when Marvel broke the two of them up. Making it a plot where not!Satan comes down and takes their marriage away only rubbed salt in the wound.

Suddenly Peter was a lot more immature and stupid, and Marvel was insisting that this was "how he should be". Marvel was claiming that Spider-Man was all about youth, thus he needed to remain young and marriage free in order to work, which flew in the face of the character as I understood him. To me, Spidey was a character about the opposite, he was about growing up.

More than any other character in the MU, Peter was the guy who embodied character development. In his early years under Lee and Dikto, Peter was an asshole with a chip on his shoulder. Far from being the martyr figure everyone sees him as today, Peter initially just kept trying to make money with his powers. He was constantly moaning and bewailing his lot, because he was a fucking teenager! EVERY teenager treats ANY setback like it's the end of the world. Yet over a period of years, both in universe and out, Peter grew into the great hero everybody sees him as today. He became kinder, more charitable, and made friends with his peers. He acquired a steady stream of super hot girlfriends, ultimately marrying MJ. Peter married MJ before Clark Kent married Lois Lane, that's a huge freaking accomplishment! Totally makes sense that Peter would get married first because while Superman was more or less frozen in place like all DC heroes, Spider-Man was the one who embodied the Marvel trait of growth and change. The world kept throwing shit at him and Peter dealt with it as best he could, and that gave me hope because if he could overcome the forces arrayed against him to find some degree of happiness, so could I.

One More Day completely obliterated all of that. I didn't recognize this character anymore, I didn't care about the shallow relationships they teased him entering, relationships we all knew didn't matter. If Peter couldn't stay married to MJ, he wasn't going to last in a relationship with Carlie Cooper or any of the girls Slott set him up with. Peter being immature worked great when he was actually in high school and college, but Marvel wanted to write him as a high schooler without actually deaging him. The contrast between how he was characterized before and after OMD was just too jarring for me.

Ultimately I left for a while. I read Superior and Spider-Verse, but I was no longer religiously following Amazing Spider-Man any more. Checked out Ultimate Spider-Man which I had never read, and I enjoyed it, but I also held a grudge against it's success. Clearly this was the series that enshrined high school Spider-Man as the "ideal" status quo for a lot of people, and I couldn't help but blame the series for Quesada's successful torching of a more mature Peter Parker. I also read Spider-Girl which took place in an alternate continuity where Peter was still married and he had a daughter with MJ named Mayday. I loved that series a lot, and Mayday became my favorite Marvel superheroine. Eventually I came back to ASM with Spencer because a few of my fellows told me he reminded them of JMS, and I've enjoyed his characterization of Peter. Doubt the marriage will be coming back any time soon but it's nice to read a more adult Peter after how he was characterized under Slott.

Hard to say what the future holds for Peter. Tough to say for certain but with the end of high school Peter in the MCU approaching, it feels like we're on the edge of another shift in status quo for Spider-Man. May be that the creation of Miles is allowing Peter to finally start to mature again since Miles can be the corporate wet dream of an eternally young "diverse" Spidey. The insistence on putting Miles into more and more of Peter's stuff, with Peter mentoring him, makes me hope that Marvel is becoming more ok with Peter growing up. The Insomniac Spider-Man is a college graduate, he feels the closest in tone and character to the Spider-Man I grew up with under JMS and Rami. They even got to kill Aunt May off, something Marvel is still terrified to do in the comics, and the relationship between Peter and MJ is portrayed as crucial to both (as it should), even if MJ is a little too Lois Lane lite for my liking.

Hopefully Spider-Man can shake off Quesada's lingering influence and start being what he was created to be: the guy who moves forward rather than running in place.

[taffystake]

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse  -  Adapting the Spider-People

Figured I would try and write something different today. After spending the last few days doing research into each of the Spider-People we were presented in Into The Spider-Verse and also making sure to rewatch the movie, I feel like I can confidently outline what exactly was taken from the comics for each character and how this helped to make each Spider-Person their own unique entity.

With this, it’s easiest to start with the three who are the  farthest from their comic counterparts. These would be Spider-Man Noir, Sp//dr, and Spider-Ham. And it makes sense, since these three are the least characterized by the movie due to how short of a time they’re in the film relative to our other three Spider-People. All three of these Spider-People take the name of a comic character and use it as a representation of a specific medium or genre. 

Anyway, let’s start with the one character who is a representative of her medium in both her comics and the movie, Sp//dr. In the movie, Peni Parker is a short schoolgirl with a high degree of technical aptitude and who pilots a very cute, spherical-style mecha and whose motions and design are all taken from lighter anime like Sailor Moon. Meanwhile, Peni Parker from the comics is a moody, sullen teenager with a lone wolf streak, no tech skills to speak of, and who pilots a mecha whose design and method of control requiring specific genes both are direct references to Neon Genesis Evangelion’s titular Evangelion mechs.

Next, lets talk about somehow whose comic run and time in the movie couldn’t be more opposed, Spider-Man Noir. The only thing that the two mediums share are the Noir aesthetic for storytelling and visual, and the general time within which the character exists. Let’s explain. Spider-Man Noir, as the movie presents him, is a hard-boiled noir detective with a very Humphrey Bogart style to him whose powers were obtained from a radioactive spider. His costume is very much a typical detective’s coat and fedora, and his entire world and himself are in black and white. Meanwhile, Spider-Man Noir of the comics is a very self-righteous socialist activist who becomes a vigilante after his reporter mentor’s death who obtained his powers via a mystical idol. His costume is designed off of a World War 1 Flight Suit that his uncle Ben owned before he died and while the world is rendered with heavy shadows to match the theme of a Noir fiction, it is not rendered in black and white.

Finally, there’s Spider-Ham. And he shares nothing beyond a name and a proclivity for animal puns with his comic. Movie Spider-Ham is basically a Looney Tunes cartoon, from the wacky movements and high energy he brings to the use of his mallet and other Looney Tunes staples as weapons. Meanwhile, Spider-Ham in the comics is a parody of Spider-Man, used to poke fun at notable Spidey storylines or to make little jabs at character names using animal puns but the character’s personality is still very close to Peter Parker.

Now then, let’s move onto the main characters of the film: Peter, Gwen, and Miles. And here, these characters definitely use more of their characterization from the comics for this movie. So lets look at how things line up for these characters.

Lets start things off with the first dead and the first displaced Spider-Person: Peter Parker. Now, with the original Peter Parker that exists in Miles’ universe, we see a character who very much matches up to the character you expect from the comics: very quippy, typically light hearted, and always willing to help out. I mean, he took time out of a fight to say he would train Miles once everything was over. Then, with Peter B, we get a view of a Spider-Man who actually has to deal with what has happened to him in the comics while also having time catch up to him, resulting in a Peter Parker with a dead aunt, a divorce from his wife, and whose life is generally an unending downward spiral of death and misery. But he is still the same Peter underneath all of that, and while he hasn’t grown up much emotionally from his high school days, we get to see that develop as he deals with the events of the movies.

Its hard to say much about how close he is to comics Spidey. Mostly because the two Peters show the two most extreme paths that Peter can take. Namely, he can be up front with his family about his secret, manage to create a myriad of unique tech, and be overall positive, or he can be cagey about his Spider life, let his life’s usual trend of misery and bad events get to him, but still be a mostly heroic guy at the end of it. So, you could claim either side as being the ‘more comics-true’ Spider-Man, because both have been represented in Spider-Man stories for decades. 

Next up, we have the most punk rock Spider-Person in film, and a decently punk Spider-Person in comics, Spider-Gwen (Or Spider-Woman. Or Ghost Spider. All depends on what you ask). And with her, we have the closest to their comic counterpart in the movie. While the two Peters show the two sides of Peter Parker as Spider-Man rather than a more balanced Spider-Man as might be seen in the comics, Spider-Gwen is essentially taken straight from her first few stories. She is a very intense lone wolf who feels like she has to do the superhero thing because of her friend’s death in trying and failing to emulate her. Honestly, the only major change is that Gwen declares she stops doing the friend thing in the movie, whereas the comics have her band with her universe’s Mary Jane to serve as her friend group that she has a very tense relationship at times. Which, honestly, is an easy cut, since saying she doesn’t do friends gets to essentially the same feeling. 

It also helps to keep Spider-Gwen a unique character here by dropping some of the later story elements from the Spider-Gwen comic. By taking her character from the point before that comic got focused on its own alternate universe events, the removal of Gwen’s powers, and the introduction of the symbiote, it keeps her character at a point where I consider her the most interesting.

And now, finally, we have Miles Morales. The successor to the Spider Mantle in the Ultimate Universe. And with the movie, they made a very distinct call on Miles’ character that takes him drastically away from the character he was in the comic storyline that Into The Spider-Verse borrows many story elements from. In the comics, Miles is a wallflower from the moment he is introduced. He is a meek 13 year old who gets what seems like his first friend when he gets to Visions Academy. And he honestly shares a lot of personality traits with Peter Parker in these original stories, having a lot of Peter’s lacking social skills from his high school days. The two major divergences are the lack of science skills to develop his own web fluid and his story initially starting from his belief he needed to help Spider-Man and didn’t.

Miles in Enter The Spider-Verse takes the few more distinct elements that helped mildly generate a different style to Miles and pumps them up to eleven while also helping establish a more distinct personality from the Peter Parker mold that his comics counterpart initially kept close to. He is very personable, more jokey in his normal persona, and whose moments of lacking social skill come from his new environment being something that he isn’t as used to rather than that just being his personality. The other major difference that stands out is the increased focus on graffiti and rap culture that Miles shows in the movie. And those interests aren’t just some cliche thing with Miles, they are used to help show his level of artistry and add personality through his enjoyment of a song like ‘Sunflower’. 

Now then, why all these changes if these characters worked in their own comics? Honestly, for the three minor Spider-People, it helps give a distinct and striking image that won’t take a large amount of time to fully establish. Because if Spider-Man Noir and Spider-Ham had kept close to their comic counterparts, half of their screen time would’ve required them doing their best to show their own distinct shade of Peter Parker-ness rather than the striking different color that the two characters have as representatives of their two genres. Finally, while Peni Parker’s character from the comics could have worked if it weren’t for two things: popularity of what she represents and the presence of Spider-Gwen.

From her comic roots, Peni is very clearly meant to evoke Neon Genesis Evangelion through her link to the mech and the mech’s design. And while that anime may be a very notable one for those who have an interest in the medium, its popularity does not typically extend far beyond that. So altering her character to evoke anime that have been brought to the West and have been in the cultural consciousness for a long time like Sailor Moon makes it so that her unique animation and actions stand out more distinctly for general viewers. The other reason is Spider-Gwen, whose character shares a lot of traits with Peni Parker in the comics. And since Spider-Gwen would be a major character, it makes it easier to alter Peni to her current tiny chipper status than it does to spend half a movie trying to keep the two intense teen girls with spider powers distinct in peoples’ minds.

The same extends to why Miles seems so different when compared to his time in the Ultimate comics universe. By giving him this unique personality and interests that stand out for the character, it enables Miles to simply be himself rather than be another character who has to spend a part of his screen time attempting to create a distinct shade of Peter Parker-esque personality. Honestly, with this method, it creates a group of characters who are colorful and unique, while giving our main cast characterizations that could be coined as their ideal comics version. And with how highly rated and popular this movie is, i hope to see these characterizations adapted back to the comics, especially for Miles and Gwen.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream - Spider-Man: Far From Home/Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

It really is a good time to be a Spider-Fan.

This guy is hitting all the right notes lately: he’s got a great video game beloved by all who plays it, he’s one of the golden boys of the MCU after only a handful of appearances, and he featured in one of, if not THE greatest animated movie of all time. Now if only his comics would undo One More Day and they renewed Spectacular Spider-Man and gave it the finale it deserves, things would be absolutely perfect.

So with me being a big Spider-Man fan, I think it’s about time I talked about his greatest cinematic achievments: Into the Spider-Verse and Far From Home. That’s right, Spidey is so good he’s conquered two mediums and delivered his best stories within a year of each other. My only regret is not talking about both of these films sooner, but I suppose that just gives me the opportunity to praise them both at once.

The greatest common factor these two movies have between each other, and what makes both films infinitely relatable and entertaining, is how both films feature a young protagonist who has great responsibility thrust upon them and they must find some way to deal with it. In the case of Peter, he is saddled with the pressure of being able to live up to his mentor, Tony Stark, in the wake of Endgame’s finale and Tony’s sacrifice. Frankly, Peter just wants to be a normal teenager, get the girl, and have a good vacation – it’s perfectly understandable, and while it may come off as a bit selfish, Peter is still a young man, a young man who has suffered through numerous traumas in his life and is probably upset he can’t just be normal for once. Of course over the course of the film he remembers that with great power comes great responsibility, and he rises up to save the day.

Miles, on the other hand, while initially a bit confused and unsure of himself and what to do, really does want to live up to the memory of Spider-Man, who he only knew a brief time before his death. However, he lacks training, he doesn’t understand his own powers, and he just lacks faith in himself. The entire movie builds up his character, his relationships to others, and all he does so that moment when he takes his “leap of faith” is well-earned and solidifes the moment when he goes from merely being a Spider-Boy to truly earning the name of Spider-Man. I find it very interesting how the two Spider-Men in the two best Spidey movies have sort of opposite motivations – one is being crushed by the pressure to be a world-saving hero while only wanting to be normal, while the other wants to live up to the destiny thrust upon him but initially lacks the skill and finesse to do so – before coming to the same sort of ending. More than the man in the comics who sold his marriage to a demon because he couldn’t deal with the consequences of his actions, these Spideys realize the immortal phrase from Uncle Ben that I need not repeat.

Of course, what would a hero be without a villain to oppose them? Thankfully, both films deliver some of the best superhero movie villains anyone could ask for. Far From Home is a bit more focused, giving us one major antagonist: Mysterio, in the least shocking movie twist of all time. But it truly is a testament to how great an actor Jake Gyllenhaal is and how good a character Mysterio is that he is able to sell you on all of his hero garbage right up until the reveal, and even afterwards he never once drops that affable charm and charisma that belies his true nature as a petty sociopath. Mysterio has always been a character who has struggled to find good use in the comics due to writers not knowing how to use him; he does not have that problem here.

Into the Spider-Verse, on the other hand, goes for what most Spider-Man movies tend to do: cram a bunch of villains in and see what sticks. Thankfully, they manage to hit home runs three out of six times and only whiff twice. Let’s get the less impressive villains out of the way first: Tombstone and Scorpion. While Scorpion’s design is cool and he gets some decent fight scenes, he really could be swapped out with a generic mook and it really wouldn’t make any difference either way. Tombstone, on the other hand, is an absolutely pointless waste of a character, which is a real shame. He’s the bodyguard for a guy who killed Spider-Man with his bare hands and has superhumans and cyborgs under his employ, he’s frankly a bit superfluous. Green Goblin is the only middle ground villain, one who isn’t amazing but is certainly cool enough in his own right to leave an impression despite only having a single scene. His monstrous design really goes a long to selling his threat level and his brutal fight with the original Peter really is impressive. Sadly, he dies at the end of the fight and is quickly overshadowed.

Then we have the two side villains that really work: Prowler and Dock Ock. Prowler is the obvious one, as due to him being Miles’ uncle he adds a sort of tragic emotional connection, one that is only exacerbated once Prowler hesitates in killing his nephew and ends up becoming Miles’ stand-in for Uncle Ben. Dock Ock is a bit surprising, seeing as she is a somewhat unique take, essentially a genderbent original character version of Otto Ocatavius, complete with all that implies (yes, I am talking about the relationship with Aunt May). She’s been the big breakout villain of the movie, and with good reason: she’s cool, she’s cunning, and she’s hot, all hallmarks of a quality villain beloved by the masses.

And then we come to the big one, and I do mean big: Kingpin. Here, his size and intimidation is played up for all its worth, turning him into an absolute mountain of a man and giving him one of the slickest designs I have ever seen. He’s a brutal, ruthless thug, but he’s also given a legitimately tragic and heartbreaking reason to his actions, and while it certainly doesn’t redeem him, it does make him an interesting and complex character. If nothing else, it’s just really nice to see Liev Schreiber finally get to be the villain in a good superhero movie and a good animated movie villain, after getting the shaft in both regards on two previous occasions.

The ensemble casts of both films are great. Far From Home ropes in Maria Hill and Nick Fury, and finally gives Hill some more to do while letting Fury have a lot more fun and taking a more direct approach than usual. Aside from that, all the returning characters are improved – Happy is nicer, funnier, and a better mentor; Dash is still a jerk but he’s toned down and has a bit of tragedy to him; and MJ is fleshed out, given a personality, and has excellent chemistry with Peter. And then there is Peter’s best buddy Ned, who gets ne of the funniest romantic arcs I have ever seen in a movie. And I’d be remiss to not mention Peter’s bumbling teachers, who deliver some more top quality humor to the proceedings. I think it would be best to state now that Far From Home is honestly really funny, with pretty much all of its humor hitting the bullseye, and a lot of that has to do with just how well these people play their parts and dive into their characters with the sort of fun conviction you’d want out of Spider-Man characters.

Into the Spider-Verse has the heavily advertised Spider-Ham, Peni Parker, and Spider-Man Noir, but they actually only appear in the last third of the film and really only stick around to showcase how good the animation can handle other styles, fuel jokes, and help fight in some awesome fight scenes. Frankly, this is enough; they don’t really stick around long enough to overshadow Miles, but they’re also around just long enough to establish personalities and endear themselves to the audience. Out of the three, I find Peni to be the least interesting due to changing her mecha’s design from the more Evangelion-esque one from the comics as well as her just not really grabbing my attention all too much, but it’s easy to see why she has fans. Personally, I preferred the cartoony antics of Spider-Ham and the noir-tinged grittiness of Noir. Also, Noir is voiced by Nicolas Cage and Ham is John Mulaney. It would be a challenge for me to not love them.

The major supporting characters are Peter B. Parker and Gwen Stacy, and both manage to be great in their own right while, again, not overshadowing Miles, with Peter especially being an absolute blast, giving us the miserable, chubby, downbeat Peter we never knew we needed and having him go through a full arc of his own where Miles helps him overcome his hangups as much as Peter helps Miles. Gwen is a fun character, but she sadly doesn’t get quite as much of an arc as Peter, but that will definitely be expanded upon in sequels; she’s still a solid sidekick here. The rest of the supporting cast, such as Miles’ dad, are solid characters, and the film also gives what may be the best version of Aunt May ever (though all Aunt Mays are great and let no one tell you different); I don’t really think the supporting cast is quite as good as Far From Home’s overall, but it certainly does have memorable characters that will stick with you.

Before wrapping up, I of course have to address this: Spider-Verse has some of the most amazing animation I have ever seen. It truly captures that look of being taken right from a comic book, and there are just so many clever visuals and shots that it’s simply astounding. This is the pinnacle of CGI, and revolutionary in the field of stylized CGI. I hope other studios take notes on how to make CGI look good and stylish like this.

Into the Spider-Verse is just a stunning piece of animation. It has good characters, a solid plot, a lot of great humor, a lot of great emotion, and some really decent morals, all while paying tribute to the comics and the Raimi films and giving us some closure by adapting bits of the unused Raimi Spider-Man 4. It’s a beautiful tribute to everything we know and love of Spider-Man while also being a fantastic “passing the torch” story that gives Miles his own time to shine in the spotlight. This movie is basically what Big Hero 6 tried to be, but where that movie kind of stumbled over itself and felt more like a TV pilot for a series on the big screen, this feels like a fully fledged story unto itself. It also has one of the most beautifully poignant Stan Lee cameos ever, as well as what may be the greatest joke in Spider-Man history after the credits. If you love Spider-Man, see this movie. If you love animation, see this movie. If you love movies, see this movie. This might very well be the greatest animated film of all time, and it deserves to be seen.

Far From Home, meanwhile, is a fantastic achievement in live action Spidey cinema. It gives us a wonderful supporting cast, a love interest who actually has chemistry and isn’t a boring damsel that disgraces the name of her comic counterpart, an awesome villain, and genuine funny moments, and for once all of these things are in the same moment! This really solidifies MCU Spider-Man as being a fun, fresh take on a character who has been done to death in almost every medium; it keeps most of what we love while changing some details here and there so that Spider-Man can resonate more with modern audiences. What they do change tends to be for the better, too – I really have no problem, unlike a lot of people, with Tony “taking Uncle Ben’s place,” for a variety of reasons but not the least of which is the fact I’m frankly tired of seeing Uncle Ben die. Having him merely be the long dead motivator for Peter’s early heroics is enough for me. This is absolutely peak MCU, and a fantastic epilogue to the Infinity Saga. If you’re invested in the MCU or Spider-Man at all, this movie will be right up your alley. If you still need more convincing: they combined Raimi Jameson and PS4 Game Jameson into a character, and Simmons still plays him.

Both of these films are the cream of the crop when it comes to cinematic versions of Spider-Man, with Far From Home sitting comfortably up there with Spider-Man 2, if not surpassing it, and Into the Spider-Verse frankly taking on a league of its own, Both projects really alter the course of what can be done with Spider-Man, and it has me excited for all the future works involving the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man we might be seeing soon. With Spider-Verse getting sequels and spinoffs and Far From Home absolutely getting a sequel, it’s safe to say that anyone who loves Spidey will have plenty to love for years to come. And the best part is we will never have to worry about either Spidey making deals with Mephisto.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (semi-stream of consciousness) Thoughts Part 3: Spider-Miles and his Amazing Friends/Foes

Apologies for not getting this out sooner. I’ve been/still am unwell so I was physically too energy drained to crank it out.

For this outing we’re going to discuss the characters not named Miles Morales. Spoilers ahead.

 As I have said before, Miles might be the primary protagonist but he is not the sole one.

Alongside him we have the Peter Parker who died (who, in what is surely a Clone Saga reference, is blonde), the older washed up Peter Parker, Spider-Gwen, Spider-Ham, Spider-Man Noir and Peni Parker with her SP//dr mech...with a cameo by Spider-Man 2099 and 1960s Spider-Man.

Going up against them are Kingpin, Prowler/Aaron Davis, Doctor Octopus/Olivia Octavius, Tombstone, Scorpion and Green Goblin with cameos by the Lizard/Spider-Gwen’s Peter Parker and some versions of Doc Ock and a reference to Electro. Honestly there were probably more villains too I just missed them because this movie is such a feast for the eyes that you need to see it more than once to take everything in. For example my friend caught a Ditko reference I missed.

I already gushed about how impressive it is that the movie balanced so many characters so lets not go over that again beyond saying that it is honestly mind blowing that us Spidey fans got all THOSE villains (some of whom have never been on film before) in this movie and what is essentially a Carolin Trainer Doc Ock reference rendered as a really cool villainess.

For real Olivia ‘Liv’ Octavius was bad ass. If Kingpin was the Big Bad she was his ‘Dragon’ to use TV Tropes terminology. Her design was unique to Molina’s Doc Ock and her unveiling was one of the movies best twists that I really didn’t see coming. Also Aunt May seemed to know her which means in my headcanon they were like old friends and had tea together sometimes. It is also worth of note she is technically one of the relatively few Marvel movie villainesses.

Sticking with the villains for now Tombstone and Green Goblin were the least interesting. Goblin here existed essentially to serve as reference and honour to the Death of Spider-Man arc from the Ultimate comics as he is very much involved in Blonde Peter’s death and dies himself. Tombstone was just...Tombstone. He was just Fisk’s bodyguard and nothing else. Still the fact that there even exists a Spider-Man movie WITH Tombstone in it is something of a marvel. Scorpion is elevated somewhat beyond Tombstone and Goblin by virtue of his interesting redesign and the quirk that he speaks Spanish, thus connecting him to Miles. Whilst the movie doesn’t use it’s relatively even hero and villain count to just pair the characters off, it should be said that Tombstone and Scorpion do exist specifically to give Noir, Ham and Peni something to do in the second and third act climaxes.

This is not a detriment to the movie though. Although this is an ensemble movie, it is Miles movie primarily, Peter and Gwen’s secondarily and the other Spider-Heroes’ behind them. This point is accentuated when we are given their origins simultaneously in a three panel sequence. It is understood that these three characters are to be regarded somewhat collectively, sort of like the Warriors Three from Thor.

Getting back to the villains though, I have little to say on Prowler I didn’t cover last time. All I will add is that his visuals are very cool. Even though he is based upon Ultimate Prowler his look is more 616 Prowler influenced, but imagine if instead of a misguided antagonist he was a scary slightly Spawn inspired villain. So he was totally bad ass.

However hats must go off to Kingpin. He was the main and best villain of this story. It is funny this year has been oddly Kingpin focused in terms of Marvel content.

He was brought back superbly for Daredevil season 3. He was a notable figure in the PS4 Spidey game. He was the main villain of the PS4 prequel novel. He got a lot of play in Daredevil and Spider-Man comics where he was the mayor and he is now serving as a Marvel movie villain for the second time. For me personally I complimented all this by checking out Daredevil Born Again and Last Rites, two very Kingpin centric stories.

As far as his portrayal here is concerned, the central conceit of the movie again creates a potential get out of jail scenario for any direction the writers want to take with the characters. This is an AU version of Kingpin and so is at liberty to deviate wildly from the 616 version as Liv Octavius did.

How interestingly what we wind up with is an interesting rendition of Kingpin who’s deviations from his canon counterpart’s personality are relatively minor and his overall portrayal is different more in where it places the emphasis as opposed to what the specific traits of his personality are.

Comics Kingpin is defined by his cold controlled and sophisticated demeanour hiding a thuggish, cruel and raging temper beneath the surface. He is the boss of bosses, the biggest criminal ever in more way than one.  

Spider-Verse Kingpin is a little more ‘street’ in his dialogue and vocal performance than we might be used to with classic Kingpin and ever so slightly more prone to making jokes, but beyond that his personality is very similar. Essentially he is Kingpin with a bit more Tony Soprano injected into him. The idea of his calm exterior hiding a cruel raging monster beneath is very well realized though via his gimmick of clicking his pen as a kind of stress ball to maintain his temper and his beating Spider-Man to death with his bare hands. Not to mention his flying into raging bull mode at the climax of the movie when things go all wrong.

Where the key deviation lies for this rendition of Wilson Fisk though lies in his motivation for the movie. Whilst various stories in comics and other media depict Kingpin’s motivation to simply rid his criminal empire of one superhero or another, or else further expand and secure that empire, Spider-Verse Kingpin is all about his family. The entire reason he is investigating parallel universes is in order to find alternate living versions of his dead wife Vanessa and son Richard. They died fleeing him in horror upon witnessing him fighting Blonde Spidey, so Wilson feels guilty and heartbroken over their deaths.

What is ingenious about this take upon Kingpin is that you could entirely see his canon counterpart doing something like this and it serves to add a note of sympathy to him in spite of his directly murdering Spider-Man and Miles’ uncle. Whilst it is perhaps not as nuanced or multilayered as the Netflix Kingpin, it still serves to make him more than a two-dimensional, black and white gangster. So as a villain he is simple, yet effective.

  Kingpin, like all the Spider-Heroes sans Miles, also has a backstory flashback sequence that  explains his history with his family. These are strategically placed throughout the movie and are reminiscent of the origin sequences from the Suicide Squad movie. However what worked so poorly there works magnificently here.

These origin sequences do much more than simply drop exposition for each character. Putting aside how the movie does enough to build up and endear us to most of the characters who get such sequences, the sequences are actually in aid of conveying to the audience the primary conceit of the film, that of alternate realities.

And the best way to convey this idea is to prevent the familiar with deliberate changes.

What I mean by this is that the movie sets up these origin sequences in deliberate contrast to one another and signposts this fact with repeated dialogue and visual cues in each sequence. This even applies for Kingpin as the visuals of his origin sequence are evoked for the climax wherein he briefly does see flashes of his wife and son from other realities.

As far as the Spider-Heroes are concerned though, the first of these sequences is at the top of the movie with the background information for Blonde Spidey.

This helps immediately hint that the world we are watching is both similar to yet different to the ones we might be familiar with, noticeably the world of this Spider-Man is more similar to our own as Blonde Spidey (surely a Ben Reilly reference unto himself) is a beloved and highly merchandised celebrity. Even the iconic upside down kiss with Mary Jane occurs for him with MJ upside down. A fun little in joke for the audience, or sly easing in of the idea that this Spider-Man is not the one we know?

A little of both probably, but that one scene illustrates what I mean because the second origin sequence we get is about the older Spider-Man. Like I said it plays itself in deliberate contrast to the Blonde Spider-Man, retaining the same narrative/dialogue structure within the short vignette to convey for us how this Spidey is different and thus develop his character. E.g. he is older and yet less successful, he is underappreciated and in bad shape and his marriage to MJ (whom he shares a more traditional upside down kiss with, see what I mean, it slyly hints this Spidey is more like the ones we recognize) has ended in sad divorce and he is a wreck.

Further origin sequences repeat for Spider-Gwen (she is similar to her comic counterpart, but her hang up is distancing herself from her friends), Noir, Peni and Ham.

As I said before Noir, Peni and Ham have their origin sequences play out simultaneously on the screen. This cements their lesser status within the movie compared to the other protagonists.

Collectively the sequences not only use the individual Spider-Heroes to mutually develop and build up each character on the most basic level to the audience (Spider-Man but a Looney Tune pig, Spider-Man but if he was a drummer Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man but if he was Humphrey Bogart, Spider-Man but if he was an anime girl from a mech anime, etc) but also serves to hold the audiences hand as it gets them to accept the conceit of parallel universes.

Of course the concept is first broached at the start of the movie where Blonde Spider-Man’s origin sequence concludes with him declaring himself the one and only Spider-Man (a sentiment echoed in other origin sequences too) and is then immediately followed by Miles’ introduction. We also have the topic raised in Miles classroom.

When combined with the other origin sequences, this opening obviously challenges the audiences idea that there could only ever be one Spider-Man and that it would have to be Peter Parker (a fair presumption, most audience members would be unaware of any other Spider-Heroes). This I think is part of the ingeniousness (forgive my repetition of the term but it is true) of featuring the two Peters in this movie.

See both Peter Parkers are as much positioned as deliberate deviations from the norm general audiences would expect as Spider-Ham or Spider-Gwen. Whilst one Peter is blonde and a successful married celebrity with essentially his own Spider-Cave, another is the oldest on screen Peter Parker we’ve ever had, pot-bellied and a divorcee. Outside of some video games and two 20 year old cartoons general audiences have never even seen a married Spider-Man so presenting not just one but two, and one of whom is post-marriage to boot, is a brilliant way to sell ‘this isn’t the Spider-Man you know’.

But these Spider-Men ARE Peter Parker. So if there can be versions of the Parker Spidey audiences are familiar with that are so different to what they know, the idea of Peter Parker but an anime girl or a 1930s noir character or a cartoon pig becomes easier to accept as does Gwen Stacy (whom audiences ARE familiar with from the recent Marc Webb movies) as ‘Spider-Man’ becomes yet easier to accept.

All of which build to what is second half of the question the start of the movie raises.

The question is partially ‘Does Peter Parker have to be the one and only Spider-Man’ (obviously not there are alternate versions of him as well as Gwen Stacy in the role) and, perhaps more poignantly, partially ‘Can Miles be Spider-Man’.

And this is the the most important purpose that the origin sequences serve. They are all building towards the climax of the movie which bookeneds the start wherein it is at last Miles turn to relay his own origin, allowing the movie to put to rest the question it raised at the start and cement in the audience’s minds that YES, this kid can and now IS Spider-Man.

As Stan Lee said, part of the appeal of Spider-Man is that under that costume anyone can imagine themselves to be Spider-Man. This movie embodies that message, embeds it into itself and in that sense serves the fundamental ethos of Spider-Man or him being the relatable everyman, even whilst Peter himself is not the heart of this movie.

And it did all that via having comic book style flashback exposition dumps!!!!!!!

I might have said this before or elsewhere but this is the most ‘comic book’ comic book movie I’ve ever seen! As in it is a movie that looks like and plays out like a comic book!

And just like the best comic books and comic book movies it always remembers that these stories are someone’s first so whilst it presumes a certain amount of foreknowledge (like you know who Spider-Man is) it leaves nothing to chance and organically walks you through everything you need to know. Again, those origin sequences by being placed in contrast to one another walks audiences gently through the massive concept of multiverses which no other theatrical comic book film before this to my knowledge has ever touched (sorry DC..).

Sticking with the Spider-Heroes for a moment, what should be understood is that the characterization of them is all geared towards the needs of the specific story being told, which obviously has Miles at the heart of it.

What I mean by this is that whilst the movie doesn’t give you the most detailed or faithful rendition of Spider-Gwen or Spider-Man: Noir ever they are the right takes for the movie’s story, for selling the concept of parallel universes and Miles development.

Blonde Spidey is not just hyper successful in order to contrast with Old Spidey. His success and competency (his brief action scene is incredibly impressive) is designed to also contrast to Miles inexperience and to sell him as almost a Superman/Captain America figure within Miles’ world. His death is mourned as the passing of a great and revered hero, a national day of mourning and even made me tear up a bit. This is done to accentuate the guilt Miles feels and the burden Miles feels to live up to his dying wish and shadow, the latter of which could fuel a potential sequel. His specific death scene itself is played as very different from the Ultimate comics. There his death was the grand finale (we thought) to the saga of a hero we’d been following and gave him a fittingly grand death. In the movie since his death is primarily the launch pad for Miles’ journey it is less grand, even cruel in how quick, blunt and undignified it is.

Old Spidey’s failure is not undertaken because the filmmakers believe Spider-Man is or should be some abject loser or failure, as I and others have feared. It is a direction taken because it gives him an arc for the movie. His hang up is wrapped up with his divorce from Mary Jane. But refreshingly for comic fans their separation occurred because MJ wanted children and he couldn’t bring himself to go there. It is through his tutelage of Miles (and hilarious confession to Blonde Spidey’s widow, a reflection of his student’s poor attempt to woo Gwen earlier) that he works through his issues and gets his happy ending of reuniting with his MJ. He thus has an arc intertwined with Miles even as he serves as his reluctant and somewhat haphazard mentor. If you think about it, having a version of Spider-Man more akin to the ‘default’ version would have made for a boring and underwhelming movie as far as Miles and Peter’s relationship is concerned. In this dynamic though master and student mutually grow.

Moreover his arc is interesting on a meta level as his pot belly somewhat resembled Tobey Maguire in some infamous and unflattering post-Spider-Man 3 images and Peter and MJ having a child and divorcing were in fact concepts toyed with for the aborted Spider-Man 4. All of which lends credence to the idea that Old Spider-man could very well be the actual Maguire Spider-Man. Indeed Maguire was apparently considered to be cast for this Spider-Man.

Between them Blonde and Old Peter represent something of the best and worst case scenarios for the ‘standard’ Spider-Man that broadly exists in the popular consciousness of general audiences.

Also one of these two Peter Parkers is explicitly Jewish. They have a Jewish wedding with Mary Jane which is a lovely touch as both his creators were Jewish and it has often been said the character embodies certain characteristics that recognizable within Jewish culture.

Spider-Gwen is changed into being more snarky than her earliest comics depicted her mostly because she has to be a more in control and experienced counterpoint to the in experienced Miles, serving as the subtextual second-in-command of the team. Her character’s conceit of being distant from her friends was something sort of present in her comics but is played as her central emotional problem in this movie that is also worked out through the course of teaming up with others. Additionally the film, seeking to connect her and Miles romantically (perhaps unnecessarily, but it is a sweet enough young romance nevertheless, helped by their similar age for a change) draws a parallel between how both her and Miles lost a Peter Parker. Parker in her universe was the Lizard as in the comics which further helps sell the idea of ‘Spider-Man’ being flexible.

The other Spider-Heroes are again, bodies to pad out the team and all of them are geared towards comic relief which helps balance out the team and movie over all, even if it goes against how Peni and Noir were originally characterized in their solo outings. But again this isn’t a solo outing, it is a team outing centred around Miles.

And the key thing to note here, as I noted in previous instalments is that all these other Spider-Heroes NEEDED to be in here and (to a lesser or greater extent) needed their own arcs because Miles was not going to hold the movie all on his own.

As for the other characters not much to say really. Miles parents are done well though his Dad gets more focus, a biproduct think of the movie focussing upon his brother Aaron. Aunt May has a small but lovely role as the keeper of Blonde Peter’s legacy. There is a touching scene which adapted Spider-Men better than the actual story. In the comic book 616 Peter meets Ultimate May in the relatively recent aftermath of Ultimate Peter’s death. In the movie, apart from Blonde Peter being older (meaning more years with Peter), Old Peter has also lost his Aunt May meaning the moment is much more emotionally packed as bereaved aunt and nephew reunite.

Then there is Mary Jane. Again a small role and she is somewhat relegated to a motivator than her own character but in a movie this packed where the heart isn’t Peter Parker you can understand why. You do feel bad that every (good) character in this movie got a happy ending or at least a happy final scene except her...well sort of. She is just left as the widow of Blonde Spidey but she gets a nice scene where she reunites with Old Peter. So ONE version of MJ has a happy last scene.

I will say this, the movie treated the character with respect. It is MJ who delivers her husband’s eulogy that prompts Miles into action and sums up the message of anyone being Spider-Man. It is made clear MJ was not the root of her split with Peter because ‘she couldn’t handle it’ or some shit like that. So whilst the movie didn’t give her much to do it also didn’t punch down on her or disrespect her legacy the way Homecoming did. And if nothing else how cool was it that we got not one but TWO Peter/MJ marriages on screen in a major motion picture. Take that Marvel!

But I cannot talk about the characters in this movie without talking about the three best cameos in any comic book movie.

The first was the surprise post-credits sequence where Spider-Man 2099 showed up! Of all Spider-Heroes he was the one I wanted most to show up. I love Mayday of course but I never deluded myself she could show up and in fact Old Peter’s story opens up that possibility for her more down the line.

2099 shocked me (how appropriate) and I thought we were going to get some nice sequel bait. That was until that was subverted for the second cameo that made me and my friend split our sides with laugher.

1960s cartoon Spider-Man, specifically with him and 2099 recalling the ‘Spider-Man pointing at himself meme’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is how you integrate a meme right!!!!!!

They even paid the 1960s show homage by referring to it as going back to the beginning since the 1960s show was in fact the first time Spider-Man was ever adapted into animation.

The third and best cameo goes to the Stan Lee appearance.

I am not ashamed to tell you dear readers that when I saw Stan Lee, even a cartoon version of him, saying in his own voice that he was friends with Spider-Man and will miss him I genuinely cried a little.

Even seeing the grave of Blonde Spider-Man shortly afterwards, a scene I’d already seen as the after credits scene for Venom, hit me hard and felt very different in a post-Stan Lee world.

And of course there was that ending title card crediting Lee and Ditko. Beautiful, no other word for it.

And given the movie’s fundamental message I can think of no more fitting way to honour the fathers of Spider-Man.

[wadey-wilson]

Essay essay pls! I actually enjoyed the TASM films but I watched them when I was like, 10, so my actual perception of them is super skewed

re: 

I usually never talk much about things I hate because I don’t wanna care about things I hate. it’s a waste of time and nerves. but given that you asked nicely, and that I have a lot to say, and that I should sleep but we all know it never plays out, let’s go.

right off the bat, I want to say that I believe you can change some things about characters or stories if adapting them for the silver screen either requires it, or the director has a really good idea as to how the character should be done. that being said, I also believe there’s a line you can’t cross. you either change the character to be more appealing and to have them resonate with the audiences more (see: Thor in Thor: Ragnarok, Guardians of The Galaxy), or to have it fit the story better (see: Mandarin in Iron Man 3). I have no problem when a director goes ‘I have an idea for this character’ and he actually has, let him do it. however, when you change too much about a story (see: Civil War) or a character, they become unrecognizable and completely off. you ever read Superior Spider-Man? they become that. a shell of someone we know but with completely different behaviour, manners, mind, and character for that matter. you can’t change a character to this point, because it ruins them. say Iron Man doesn’t drink alcohol at all, he’s a granddad of a random kid taken from the streets, and kills innocent people. doesn’t really sound well, huh?

and that’s the huge problem with that small series of films. the producers don’t understand Spider-Man (don’t @ me with Spider-Verse, Sony didn’t touch Spider-Verse, it was written by the ever great Phil Lord and Chris Miller), and they never will because they frankly don’t give a shit. they ruined Spider-Man 3 by forcing Raimi to put Venom in there despite Raimi not being able to handle the material and not being interested in that character. reason why they made the TASM films? money. reason why they keep the rights to Spidey? money. so since they don’t understand Spider-Man, they can’t make a good Spidey movie as long as it’s them making that movie.

I also want to add that I like crap movies. Spider-Man 3 is half a solid movie, but you can’t have a bad time while watching it - it’s hilarious, has great action scenes, the characters feel like characters, and the tone is consistent. Venom movie wise is like 4/10, it has 2 prologues, and 179 plot holes and/or stupid choices, but it’s entertaining, funny (even when unintentionally), has some very good dialogues, and the Venom/Eddie relationship (right along with Tom Hardy himself) saves the movie. so I like crap movies when they’re fun, comedy gold, or just so stupid that you can’t help but laugh (see: Twilight). but when a movie is shit, and does none of those things, I can’t sit through it.

with all that said, here goes: reasons why The Amazing Spider-Man movies suck balls and are offensive towards the character of Spider-Man:

comic wise:

- Peter Parker - let’s google Peter Parker.

caring. kind. loyal. brave. scared. worried. intelligent.

that’s the basic core aspect of Peter Parker. you can’t change the core of a character or else they become a different person. the core aspect is what makes them them. Peter Parker is ‘with great power comes great responsibility’, he’s a struggling one because he made a choice to save lives and that choice often ruins his day-to-day life, he’s constantly trying to be a better man, but all while bad things are happening, he remains kind, loving, caring, loyal, respectful, and worth of the powers he’s carrying.

TASM Peter Parker? that dude’s a selfish dickhead. i could go scene by scene to prove my point, but off the top of my head, he:

stalks, creeps, breaks (important) promises, is rude 24/7 towards his aunt and uncle, risks people’s lives, damages public property and doesn’t even say sorry, sneaks into Oscorp by stealing someone’s righteously earned intern badge (plus literally laughing at the guy who got kicked out bc of him, what the hell).

other than that, Andrew Garfield does not look socially awkward or nerdy in the slightest. the movies are really trying to portray him as one and terribly fail. he’s not a good fit for this Spidey. Superior Spidey? yeah, that asshole, sure. I’m not saying he’s a bad actor, he’s an amazing actor. he’s just not good for the role of Peter Parker.

I mentioned Thor before and how making him a goofball actually worked out fine, and that’s because the core aspect of him never disappeared. he’s still Thor, courageous, righteous, loving, kind, but with more jokes. Peter Parker is a nerdy outcast, he’s socially awkward like 95% of the time, and doesn’t even know how to walk straight. Andrew’s Spidey? obnoxious-skateboarding-cool-looking-Edward-Cullen-like-tall-and-model-like cute. I have no words.

to add to his terrible traits, Peter’s only motivation to put on the red-and-blue spandex is revenge. revenge. I don’t care about that scene where he’s sitting with his mask wondering if he should go after the Lizard. that doesn’t mean a thing. it would if his behaviour changed, but it never did. he made a mask and then a suit so people wouldn’t see who commits the crimes (assaulting at nights while looking for Ben’s killer, that’s crime), that’s down-right fucked up. this is not Spider-Man. speaking of…

- Spider-Man - he doesn’t care about people’s lives at-freaking-all, and it just wounds me. he jokes around while people are being murdered (see: TAMS2 scene with the Rhino where he didn’t stop Rhino when he had the chance, instead letting him run over tens of people and kept. on. joking., or putting on a fireman’s hat while people are being killed). jokes? what jokes? that guy’s a jackass. he threatens a man saying he’d kill him if he’d be the one who killed uncle Ben. he publicly humiliates a guy, I don’t care if he’s a criminal. 

see this:

(the amazing s-m #797)

vs this

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

- Ben Parker - he’s 100% useless in the movie. in the comics and in the Raimi’s movies, he plays a huge role. he’s Peter’s moral compass right along with May Parker, which…

- May Parker - her presence in the movie is pointless. she’s got no impact on the plot. cut out all the scenes with her, and it changes nothing about the movies. her presence only makes Peter look more like an asshole bc he’s one towards her 99% of the time. she’s there to be… I don’t even know. she’s useless. oh, no, wait, she’s there to make Peter break his promise to Captain Stacy. amazing.

movie wise:

- tone - inconsistent, all over the place. TASM1 is dark, silly, dark, lighthearted, funny, dark, funny, dark. why can’t it be just dark or funny? same goes to TASM2, except TASM2 is way worse due to the unconnected subplots. examples of well-toned movies: Homecoming (a comedy starring Spider-Man), Iron Man 3 (consistently cartoonish with balanced humor and action), The Avengers (consistently funny and cheesy).

- character arc - there’s none. Peter learns absolutely nothing. at all. he’s selfish and remains selfish. puts people’s lives at risk all the time. breaks promises, not learning any lesson. I mentioned Venom before and how it’s a dumb movie, but even that one has Venom have an arc. rushed one, yes, very rushed, but still an arc. 

- music - stock music + bad pop music + elevator music + something that tried to sound like dubstep but wound up being what comes out when you scratch your nails across the board ft. growling dying dragons from bad cartoons. I’m really sorry for Hans Zimmer that his name is in the credits bc the amazing Pharell Whilliams literally ruined the TASM2 soundtrack.

- directing - it’s shit. the movie’s shot with no life to speak of. boring shots, lower than average. there’s no scene that makes me ‘whoa’. there’s no scene that makes me ‘this is a really good shot. I very much like this shot.’ ok, I’m lying, there are two shots in the entire 2 movies. there:

these are the only shots that I like. out of 2 movies. please, take all my money.

on top of that, the colors are just ugly. Deadpool has greasy colors but they’re consistent and fit the creepy tone of the movie. TASM movies can’t decide what the hell they are so they are just a mess.

- villains:

x the Lizard. he wants people to be lizards, and that’s it. he wants his arm to regrow but then he goes ‘forget arms, now I want people to be lizards.’ and it’s sad bc he’s a very good villain in the comics.

x Green Goblin. motivation is weak, plus why did he crawl towards the suit? if he crawled towards the Doc Ock arms, would he become Doc Ock? how did he know hot to fly the glider? ‘you took his picture, so you know him’ - first of all, that shot was taken from 64508098 meters away, and second of all, how does this make Harry think Peter knows Spider-Man? he’s still better than Connors, tho.

x Electro - quite an odd one, weak motivations, what the hell was that with the corny speeches pulled out of his ass and completely out of the place? why did he even have shorts? where did he take his suit from? that’s a PG-13 movie, I get it, we don’t wanna watch an electric p*nis swing, ok, we get it  still, bad motivations, makes no sense 80% of the time, and... he’s just off. he’s such a badly-handled and poorly-written character I want to cry,

- other characters:

x Gwen Stacy - so called generic love interest. that’s it.

x I don’t even care.

- stupid bullshit - when a movie is good, I don’t care about plot holes or stupid stuff like visible reshoots (see: Tony’s hair in IW) or just idiotic moments (see: Black Widow knocking a guy out with her hair in The Avengers).

however, when the stupid bullshit takes over a movie, you can’t help but notice. why did the Lizard want everyone to be lizards? why did the electric eels fix the gap between Max’s teeth? what’s with the subplot with Peter chasing Ben’s killer? is Peter so stupid that he brought his camera with his name on it to Lizard’s secret layer? why are Peter’s parents so focused on? they’re 100% irrelevant and have no impact on the movies besides making them even stupider (that calculator scene, I’m-). why did Ben jump towards the gun? how did scrawny and skinny Harry Osborn overpower two armed, grown-ass guards? if Peter is smart enough to make web-shooters and web fluid, why did he have to look up the basics of electricity on YT? why is Gwen so stupid to grab a metal bar when there’s an electricity-fueled guy murdering people? why did even Electro become bad? why do people stand around very dangerous fight scenes like it’s a spectacle with fairies? run! the plane scene. the plane scene no2. the crane scene. how did the cranes happen to be perfectly in line across the way to Oscorp? even Raimi wouldn’t put this corny shit in his movies, and he made his trilogy corny for purpose. train? coming? out? from? the ground??? a video coincidentally waiting for Peter to be played in that train? Gwen Stacy happening to be the interns’ tour guide at Oscorp? how did Gwen get to the fight with Electro scene sooner than the police? why did the web get cut by two solid objects, simultaneously making a ‘cut’ sound, what the fuck was that? why were those movies even made? (money)

I want to add that I don’t care about deleted scenes. put them in the movie if they’re important. I really don’t give a damn there was a scene with Peter’s dad (which is just stupid) or some stuff with Connors. I don’t judge deleted scenes, I judge the movies.

and that’s it. I feel like I can talk more, but it’s like 11pm, and I have to get up early and go to work, so… I said what I said. you can’t change my opinion. if you like these films, I don’t care. they’re trash. if you can watch them and think ‘that’s a good movie,’ I’m glad you can, and I wish you a happy life with that bad perception.

to add to all of this, I’ll have you know that even Andrew Garfield is mad/sad that Sony compromised the character of Peter Parker for the sake of money.

before I go, the only good things about these movies:

- TASM2 suit is cool. I like it a lot,

- that scene where Peter wakes up and accidentally breaks things,

- that montage with Spidey after he breaks up with Gwen, it’s really nice and in-character, looking like it was written by someone completely else,

- they didn’t make a third movie.

P.S. if you want some good videos I remember seeing about those movies, visit yourmoviesucks and TheCosmonautVarietyHour on YT. also ScreenCrush explains what’s wrong with those movies basing on one scene, and it’s great.

P.S. 2. there was this comment on YT under the TASM movies review that I really like, and honestly what a mood:

[justreadthisonline]

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Who doesn’t love Spider-Man? He’s a great character. He’s the everyday struggling to get by guy with tons of problems. The only real difference between us and him is he has powers which actually tend to make it even harder for him to live a normal life due to his good nature heart. Also, he’s just a kid. The Spider-Man films starring Toby Maguire managed to capture this minus the kid part. The Amazing Spider-Man films starring Andrew Garfield failed to really capture those issues and focused more on the power aspect. So I wasn’t too excited for Spider-Man: Homecoming to be honest. Sony has kinda dropped the ball with the hero, but after seeing him in Captain America: Civil War I felt maybe there is still hope for Spidey. Knowing Marvel was at the helm (Marvel made the film, but Sony footed the bill and gets all movie profits) changed my mind and I set out to watch the film. So did they do Spider-Man justice or was it just a couple of web swings too short?

The story in a nut shell:

High off of his adventure with Tony Stark during the events of Civil War, Peter Parker finds himself feeling lost and looking for the next big Avenger moment. When a new set of powered weapons show up, Peter see’s it as his chance to prove himself to Tony Stark and save the day, but things soon prove bigger then what he may be able to handle.

The Positives:

The Vulture / Micheal Keaton

The Story

Peter Parker / Spider-Man

No Origin Story

Low Level Villains

Relatable Villain

The Negatives:

Slightly Mirrors Sam Raimi’s 2002′s Spider-Man Movie

So what did I think:

Sony Execs needs to shake every single person’s hand who worked on this movie. Marvel has finally brought Spider-Man to the big screen. After seeing Homecoming those other movies no longer exists to me (Marvel please please bring us a proper Venom). I don’t want to spoil too much about this film cause it’s honestly that good. What makes it so good, well let me break it down to four parts for you that explain what makes this film so great.

1. The Story:

This is honestly one of the best stories I’ve seen done for Spidey. Now the film is very similar to 2002′s Spider-Man. It’s as if Marvel looked at that film and said let’s reboot this franchise properly and started making changes. What makes this story so good is a believable villain, proper Peter Parker/Spider-Man, and the extremely smart choice to not focus on a origin story/death of Uncle Ben. That’s right you will not have to sit through 30 minutes of how did Peter become the Spider-Man. Because that is skipped we can delve straight into some great Spidey action and move forward. The film also manged to juggle and give equal time to Peter’s personal life, hero life, and the villains story very well. Your left with a complete story as oppose to the start of a story as the past movies (That don’t exist) have done.

2. Peter Parker / Spider-Man:

For once the true essence of this character have been captured. We finally get to see a 15 year old kid with this amazing powers try to find himself and try to live this duel life. He makes mistakes and doesn’t fully understand things because honestly he’s a kid. We get to watch the character grow a little and at times just want to grab him and hug him and say it will be alright. I commend the writers on this. So easily watching these hero films we see all the powerful stuff the can do, and forget how vulnerable they are. Especially when in this case he’s just a kid. One moment in particular towards the end which is a huge growth moment for the character almost had me tearing up and feeling helpless watching the screen. Even with everything I’ve seen done to this character it was the first time I ever felt his vulnerability and lack of self confidence/grit. After watching this film I felt like a part of his family and eagerly await his next adventure.

3. The Vulture / Michael Keaton:

If there is one highlight of this film it is Michael Keaton’s character Adrian Toomes aka The Vulture. This movie could have easily been a Vulture movie and I wouldn’t have minded. Michael Keaton does a tremendous job as the villain of this film. A villain is meant to seem powerful and instill fear. Keaton manages to do all this while being the most fearsome at his calmest moments. It echo’d the performance of Ricardo Montalbán’s Khan from Star Trek’s Wrath of Khan. The greatest parts of Toomes character is that he is just an everyday family man trying to make it who gets screwed over by the rich and powerful. In a sense he comes off as a new age version of Robin Hood who’s more take back from the rich and keep it. In a way he finds a way to fight back against the rich and powerful and while what he’s doing is not right you understand and in a way want him to win. It reminded me of Neil McCauley (Robert De Niro) from the film Heat. You know he’s bad but you want him to get away and win regardless. Like I said arguably the best part of this film.

4. Highlights From The Cast:

Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) is a new age version of the character and I just fell in Larb with her. Everything about her is new and inviting. Her reactions to everything is so genuine and the way Tomei plays her is perfect. Best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon) was a great addition to the film and manage to feel a part of the film world and not just a add-on. Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) is a cool addition to the film and makes it feel more a part of the Marvel Universe. The best part is he does not take anything away from the film but only adds. I was worried he would star too much in it and at parts was worried he would save Peter and make Spider-Man feel more like a side kick, but that does not happen which is a good thing.

5. For The Comic Fans:

Ever heard of The Shocker? Once you get your mind out of the gutter I’m referring to the Marvel Villain. Fans of Spider-Man will be treated to a slew of things in this film. One I won’t reveal but as a fan you will probably get excited when you see it, to others it will probably not be as big of deal as it was when I saw it. We are treated to a new version of the villain known as the Shocker and they even call him that at one point. He wasn’t a huge part it was still nice to see another lesser known villain from the spidey-verse. For fans there are actually three more names that are heard that I won’t say as to not ruin the surprise, but one in particular after seeing this version of The Vulture has me excited to see what they hopefully do with the character.

I can proudly say that this movie has easily made it to the top ten of hero films. This was an amazing adventure and one I hope can be recreated in the next installment. Do yourself a favor and go see this film!

My Rating: 5 out of 5 Netflix it | Rent it | Buy it 

Follow me on Twitter: @gojeroh