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the machine.
a comic about being a 'creator' online.
creative notes:
#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful#just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022#which was a rough year personally and creatively#and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore#and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way#its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art#and like thats all you are to people#theres nothing human to you#it can be a bit of a pit#and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling#this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art#going outside for dinner#maybe walking around#its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily#youre a human being#not a mindless content creation machine#and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work#good luck to all of you#and thank you for reading#comic art#its 10pm#stillindigo art
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a labor of love about milk. there are other things too i guess
#qkdraws#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#shigeo kageyama#mp100 mob#mp100 shigeo#ritsu kageyama#mp100 ritsu#fun fact this took 5 weeks to make#another fun fact this started bc of my girlfriend saying he thought it'd be funny if ritsu was lactose intolerant#i uhm. added some stuff tho VGEAYV#listen.i have to add trauma or bust#this was SUCH a blast to make.god i had sm fun#what a joy this was.im glad i made it#even if it's kinda messy and all over the place i had fun working on it#and i do think it's Vastly better than my other comic#watch this receive like 40 notes and then get dropped into the abyss.haha wouldn't that be funny hahahah hahhaa#i hope one person is like vaguely ill abt it at least.be ill with me
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1
Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.
#going to start a small 'series' where I document stuff I learn that is otherkin specific. This is for myself as well as anyone who might#be struggling with things I used to/am working on(otherkin specific). hopefully this will reduce any mental pitfalls other otherkin may#fall into as they explore their identity and help out someone.#this 'rule' took a LONG time to fully understand and grasp. for the longest time I would consciously or subconsciously#think I was less Loki if I did or was something 'Loki would never do. until i realized I do exactly and experience exactly what Loki does#and experiences because...Im literally Loki. (talking about incarnations here). I felt pressured to be a certain way because 'Loki would#never (insert). being aroace is on of them. i tried to convince myself I wasn't aroace#and when I finally ran out of reasons i felt i was 'less Loki' because mythologically hes like the opposite. but Loki IS aroace. because#Im Loki. and Im aroace. so loki is SUPPOSED to be aroace because Im loki and im being exactly how loki is being. because im loki. being#myself. therefore being exactly like Loki. again - incarnation.#anyway....if anyone else struggles with this I hope this helps someone. its a really sucky place to be in honestly.#godkin#deitykin#alterhuman#otherkin#divinekin#nonhuman#alterbeing#therian#I think I will be learning a LOT more as I keep exploring and I will note down any 'rules' I learn - more like lessons but rules personally#sound more right for me. rules i will live by (yknow unless i find out im wrong but...im going to trust myself more and right now i feel#like this rule is true. so im using it as such unless i find out im wrong in future.
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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the relationship between the chantry and the mortalitasi in nevarra is SO fucking funny. the carefully politic and civil syncretism of it all. the ‘I’ll refrain from scratching your back to bloody shreds if you refrain from scratching mine :)’. left hand politely averting its eyes from whatever the fuck the right hand is doing merrily up to its elbow in entrails because it usually knows what it’s doing I guess. speak softly, and have an army of the restless dead ready to go banapants horrorshow bonkers if you don’t get to tend to them. We Receive: being able to keep doing our goth thing mostly unimpeded. You receive: us not raising the great majority to protest your unwelcome meddling. render unto the chantry what is the chantry's and unto the watchers what is theirs (or, with all possible courtesy you understand, else…)
#dragon age#nevarra#mortalitasi#a watcher's work is never done#The maker may take the souls but someone still has to care for the graves#the necropolis is such a trump card for the nevarran mages when you think about it -- try to annul the mortalitasi?#soon you'll have some VERY unpleasant things starting to come up from underground and no one who knows how to deal with it#that place has grown and been built upon itself for like a thousand years at this point hope you're good with surprises with no guide#it's not grey wardens in a blight levels of immunity granted but it's up there. thedas realpolitik hits different idk what to tell you#the idea that the ‘higher dead’ are the original souls lingering after death must be getting spicily close to heresy right#even more so than the mortalitasi usually get I mean#Poor Cassandra. Imagine being born a jock among goth nerds no wonder the religion got to her#if her parents had lived she could have been a hotheated dashing noble getting in righteous duels but instead. her uncle. alas.#I jest but I really am so interested in seeing more of nevarra to understand even more of where she's coming from originally#I'm visiting my wife's folks for the first time I'm really excited :) (I do think my adaar would find it fascinating actually so. sry cass)
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She can't keep getting away with this
#I just finally got my hands on a physical copy of volume 5. so I was looking at this omake again#and one google search later. here we are#a god damn famous painting about eating oysters in a way that evokes both horniness and the transience of pleasure#done by a dutch painter during the era when vanitas paintings were a big thing in the netherlands#god damn you mochijun#it doesn't say it in the screenshot. but vanitas paintings as a genre did start specifically as a dutch thing#I can't believe this#I hope I never stop finding little details like this#this woman is insane#I love it so much#also to be clear I did read about this in places other than wikipedia. I know how good sources work.#but this was the easiest way to get matchy screenshots#vnc#vanitas no carte#the case study of vanitas#comparison#ID in alt text
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thinking about how that solavellan ending actually Works for lavellans who want that hopeful ending but arent as forgiving abt the whole situation as veilguard presented it. and i do think in ashara's case, yes, she goes with him out of love, but more so out of duty. post trespasser she drops the name lavellan in favor of her family name, dhavise, since her place in the clan had already been cast into question and her allegiances with the chantry/solas are cause for doubt as to whether she's even welcome back anymore. but i think by the end of veilguard she's reaffirmed her identity as Lavellan no matter what, and truly does see herself as the Keeper of not just her own clan but of her whole modern people, and with that rekindled purpose she chooses to watch over them all by way of watching over fen'harel. protecting them by protecting him from himself. which ironically is the reason the dalish HAVE keepers in the first place
#oc: ashara#datv spoilers#datv#tay plays datv#sorry but we're doing solavellan tag essays again i fear#i am so :))))) abt lavellan's capacity to be for solas EXACTLY what varric was for rook in that prison#a guide. a reminder. an anchor. a hope.#started from the bottom (''fen'harel ma ghilana'') now we're here ("ar ghilana fen'harel'') !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway the way i imagine the prison situation is that its exactly like any other place in the fade. changeable depending on emotion#and interpretation and point of view.#i think regret is so powerful as a prison lock bc anyone who believes themselves to be a god lacks the self awareness to even FEEL regret#so it WORKED for the evanuris. but it didnt work for rook because they arent a god and facing regret IS possible for them! and then like#the solas ending where he says “i am a GOD” Guarantees he cant escape bc hes PAST that point. the neutral ending leaves it open to anything#but the redemption ending is the one where he most clearly reaffirms that he is NOT a god and so the capacity for him to impact the walls#by facing its nature and by extension his OWN nature is... hopeful :) so i think its probably gonna look like it did in the game for a whil#but it will heal as he does :) im picturing a little house where everything seems a little bit brighter day by day#and when regret creeps back in and the fade reflects that then lavellan is there to fix it. and fix it again. and again and again if needed#until it finally DOES look like the way that end mural presented it. dare i say the black city goldened ...........
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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In season 4, I demand more Benedict and Hyacinth interactions. Gregory's off to school, Anthony and Kate are off to India, Eloise and Francesca are off to Scotland, the other two have married and moved out, so these two are the last ones under Violet's roof, I love what we've gotten of them but I need more bonding scenes. They're both hilarious and completely unhinged at times, I need more of this chaotic sibling duo.
#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton netflix#bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#hyacinth bridgerton#casting department popped off with these two because they look like actual siblings#plus with probably another 2 year wait & based on previous patterns hyacinth will be debuting next#wouldn't mind a slowburn of her and gareth as a sideplot ngl with lady danbury#but i hope they don't do an exact copy paste of the past seasons structure#by s3 the debutante introduction getting old#worked for s1 introduced us to the world shopstopping#s2 which was delayed due to covid helped bring us back into the world#s3 - other than debuting francescas new actress and qcs reactions - its getting tired#they don't have to and shouldn't do the exact same way a 4th time#hell start s4 at aubrey hall pre season have kate anthony & benedict there as violet goes off to london to prepare the masquerade ball#have benedict look for a place of his own which will become my cottage as he tries to figure out what his future will look like#then have him meet sophie and then send them back to london for the season#the season doesn't really matter for benedict & sophie's story anyhow#I've got wildly off topic lmao
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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Collection of edits from this comic with Disco Elysium dialogue.
#What do I even tag this#mdzs#mdzs disco elysium au#There are so many line that work very well for them. Alas I was constrained by the panels I had.#So many hbd and kim conversations fit the wangxian dynamic its unreal.#Once again I am politely holding out Disco Elysium as a recommendation: So long as you are aware of it's content and warnings.#It is truly one of the most hopeful games about trauma and despair. It is hilarious in a way that frames the tragedy perfectly.#Be warned that it is a dark and heavy read. But it is truly a life changing experience.#It helped my get out of a bad place in realizing how much I was hurting myself by trying to hold onto the past and regrets.#Go in as blind as you can. If you are ready for it - you will not regret playing this game.#In other news...yeah okay so I meant to spend the rest of my saturday drawing more pd-mdzs#Then I started watching Link Click.... oops where did the time go?#Permit me another day of stalling and I will have comics coming soon. Might sprinkle some LC doodles in the mix too.
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Incredibly fucking pissed that have to get up for work instead of getting to finish my sex dream about a trans guy fucking my face. Sigh.
#text post#shark thoughts#feeding frenzy#it was so fucking good too#a guy and his friend (boyfriend?) come over to my place to chill. while they're over I casually mention how I've wanted a guy to do that#and he doesn't even wait he shoves me on my back and he shoves my face in his crotch. I'm instantly lost in huffing his smell.#and he orders me to open my mouth and stick my tongue out and he just starts going to town while his friend watches and plays with themself.#god I can still remember how good he tasted and how his bush felt against my face.#i considered calling out of work just for the vain hope that I could continue that dream#can a guy PLEASE come over and use my mouth oh my fucking GOD
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a slight continuation of this
no caller ID pops on your screen, pulling your attention away from your previous task at hand: not fucking up your eyeliner. you typically wouldn’t care if it was a little uneven, but you’re going on a date tonight, for the first time in so long, and you want everything to go as smoothly as possible.
which is why you groan when you end the call, and that same no caller ID pops right back up seconds later. you know who it is—who else would it be? you figured he’s already seen your story of being excited for going on your first date in a while, on the only app you hadn’t blocked him on. petty? perhaps, but it’s on him to be keeping up with you despite you cursing him out for wasting your time and then blocking him right after.
you watch it ring though, contemplating for a while longer than you should. you blocked him for a reason. no need to entertain his same shit that he always spews to you when he realizes that he might be losing you once more?
….but it doesn’t hurt to hear the hero beg for you.
“What do you want, Bakugou?” You sigh irritably as you finally answer his call, putting him on speaker as you go back to even out your eyeliner. You hear him huff on the other side of the phone at the use of his surname, but he doesn’t say anything about it, instead, quickly telling you what he’s been bothering you for.
“Who’s the fuckin’ loser that’s gonna drool over how good your tits look in that stupid green dress you love so much?” Bakugou grunts, and you instantly feel your face heating at his crude words. You glance over with a frown at that same green dress that makes your tits look good, where it hangs on your closet.
“None of your damn business, Bakugou.” You snap at him, wondering if it’s too late to find something else to wear. “Not like you ever took me out in my stupid green dress.” Your voice holds a level of bitterness that only he can bring out of you, and you hear his sigh through the speakers.
“I told you this before, I’m always—”
“Busy.” You cut him off, voice suddenly thick as you think back on the countless rejections he’s splattered at your feet every time you tried to further your relationship with him. “You reminded me of how busy you’ve been since you first started this whole situationship.”
“Situation—? Huh? We were dating!” Bakugou protests with a huff, and you can hear how he paces the floor quickly. You glare at your phone, setting down your liner to instead pick of your (his) favorite lipgloss.
“You’d have to ask me out to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to court me to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to make time for me and take me out on dates and not hide me to fucking date me, Bakugou.” You spit at him, venom dripping off of your lips in waves. You don’t know why you answered, why you even entertained him. You shake your head with a huff when the line goes quiet, eyebrows quirking up when your date sends you a text to make sure you’re still on for tonight.
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou mutters pathetically, his voice suddenly soft. You hesitate, for some reason, when it comes to texting your date back. Why do you always hesitate when Bakugou is around?
“Let me make it up to you, court you, and shit. I can take you to one of my favorite places, you can wear that pretty green dress and that gloss you know I love.” His voice is pleading, thickening and sweet and suffocating. You shouldn’t respond, should reply back a yes to your date.
“Please? You know how much you mean to me.” Bakugou mumbles, and you can hear the earnestness in his voice. Why haven’t you said yes to your date yet?
“I’ll do better this time. Just one more chance, sweetheart.” Bakugou’s voice is so soft, you’ve never heard him this vulnerable before. You sigh with a shake of your head, slumping back into your seat in defeat.
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Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. Something came up. Maybe we can reschedule for another time?
#sorry this is kinda angsty lol#but I saw this tt earlier where this girl was so giddy bc ‘no caller id’ called LOL#and it just reminded me of the first part to this#at first he’s all ‘no we can’t date bc of xyz bullshit reason’#but the moment you’re like ‘I’m done w this toxic back n forth we’re not even a couple’#he’s like WE WERE TOGETHER THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!#delusion is what I like to call it#also he definitely takes you out to a place that’s very secluded and exclusive#to shut you up for the time being#the whole ‘at least I took you out!’ shtick#I hate him actually#but the toxic hate sex goes crazy ☝🏻#okay gn I’m sleepy and I felt so shitty today#or yesterday#so I’m hoping today will be better#maybe I’ll mediate before I start on my work#I wanna go on a walk sometime this week bc it’s gonna be great weather but my anxiety keeps telling me#that one of the stray cats or foxes is gonna attack me AKSJDKDJDJD#omg does anyone remember me talking about that calico kitty in my backyard at one point???#I haven’t seen her since and I hope she’s okay :( we miss her :(#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬
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hi everyone! no page today, probably not sunday either. my pc has been out of commission for over a month so i've been drawing on my laptop--but i'm getting to the point where i really would like to 3d model my backgrounds to make them a little easier on me and give me more energy to experiment/make pages nicer, so i'm going to try to hold out until my pc gets fixed and i can do so for these next couple of pages.
it'll be a lot of front-loaded work, but it'll be worth it in the long run, i think!
#not boughclan#sorry for the inconvenience!#i've been thinking about doing it for a while anyway#but the next couple of pages i want to figure out what the camp looks like for real since that's where they'll be taking place#hoping my pc is close to fixed! i've got a bsod loop. thought it was my ram but ordering replacement ram didn't fix the issue#my partner tried to wipe my startup disk and reinstall windows but it cant even get to the installation point on my pc#we're going to try to reseat the cpu with new thermal paste#and if THAT doesn't work i'll try overclocking my ram#and if that fails as well............ i'll ask my tech friend and if they don't have any ideas then i'm going to take it in to professional#if it's getting to a week+ with no progress i'll try to draw the pages anyway!#lately i've been playing a pokemon sacred gold nuzlocke and thinking about a nuzlocke comic as well#it started as afun thing and now i'm like. wait but this could be fun#boughclan would have precedence but i do enjoy drawing pokemon every once in a while. would probably be a once-a-month kind of deal#anyway this has been life updates with selkie#selkie rabble
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actually got a job offer but the job is the second one i interviewed for where i felt like the vibe was worse, noooooo
#personal#im gonna say yes and then hope the other place sends me an offer as well#because its gonna take a minute before i can even start anyway. SIGH#good problem to have. i just would much rather work in#academia vs emergency room (receptionist). if given the choice#<- says the guy who applied to both
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