#[[ i have no idea what's abt to happen but we shall see ]]

[luck-of-the-drawings]

FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.

[capricioussun]

Had a rough day and did not finish the valentines, but due to the strike, I won't be posting them until next week. Maybe I'll even have the Halloween ones done by then, too (i might rework them to be smaller and easier to tackle just so I don't keep putting it off for eternity ough)

[yayll]

Hiii i hope you're feeling better soon :(( I was wondering if I could request a Dazai x reader fic where the reader has PTSD? Specifically, the beginning of autumn kind of triggers her (sorry if it's a confusing i dunno how to word it lol) Could it be fluff/comfort? Btw I love your writing style so badly so pls tweak the idea if you think it would work better! And no worries if you'd rather pass :33

hii angel i genuinely am sorry that this took me a while! (work and life happened a little more than usual, GOT SICK and barely had time to sit down and write.) it was so ivover but i am fine now thank u so much bub!

i REALLY hope you like this and that it's what u wanted, i've never written someone w PTSD before and i was just rlly hoping i didn't mess this characterization up for ur request ahhh. i had such a nice time writing it and i rlly wanted to explore the impact it could have around reader and dazai and him going out of his way even if it could be a little goofy and sappy to make u feel at least a little better even if u can't talk abt it.

i love uuuu thank u again! <3

~ a little something about Dazai noticing harmful patterns and loving you through them ~

He's been watching you sit by the window for the past half hour as you stare at what seems like the beginning of the new season outside. You were quieter than usual, more withdrawn and jumpy, which could only mean that you weren't sharing something with him- or rather having trouble processing something to the point where you didn't realize he could tell something inside you was on high alert.

Dazai would rather die than see you in such a state, especially during what's supposed to be such an exciting time of the year that's full of the things you usually love to do. Whatever is impeding you from enjoying the leaves falling has to be dealt with the most delicate of methods, but especially with love. If you taught him anything about the past haunting you to the point of mental distress, something he suffered bouts of every now and then when memories made days grow dark, it's that all you need is one person to truly witness you. Just like how you've seen the ugliest parts of him time and time again yet you still look at him with all the stars in the sky, stars he consumes like a black hole waiting to be filled.

Luckily for you, he has an arsenal of things he can try to soothe you with, because he wouldn't be a good detective AND boyfriend if he didn't keep all those context clues in his pocket for a bad day. Mainly though, he was just completely attuned to your every need. You are his happiness, and your wellness isn't up for debate: It's mandatory. He stands up from the loveseat with a deep exhale as he walks over to you, his lips curled in a lazy smile as he tests the waters to see what you could need from him without asking.

"You know, if you stay any more still I could probably paint you like one of those fancy paintings. What do you say, be my model?"

You look over at him from the window, and he can visibly tell you haven't been at ease lately. He suddenly realizes he's just fallen even more in love with you. That there is nothing in this world that could ever let him see you as anything but his heart.

You murmur, a faint smile decorating your serene face.

"Mm, I'm not sure. I don't think I could pose for that long, you know? It would probably be hard to catch my likeness, heh."

He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes with a playful smirk. Oh how he wants to lean in and worship your likeness with his loving touch, but he decides to take it easy on the physical affection for now, not until he knows you're feeling up for it. He can be a good boy, something he usually isn't.

"Well, I wouldn't mind being the brave young knight who tries~ Shall we take this outside for better lighting?"

You instantly don't give him a good reaction to that. You shrug, seeming conflicted and unsure of yourself, but unable to really bring yourself to explain with words, something uncharacteristic of you.

No problem! Dazai thinks to himself. If you don't want to go outside, he can bring outside to you in the comfort of home. He'll enhance your safe space, and tailor it to just what you need. He hums, tapping his temple in an exaggerated manner as if he were thinking really hard and when he sees that it gets a small giggle out of you, he knows he's on the right track.

"Hm, I know what we should do instead. Wait here, angel.~"

He disappears into the hallway and you sit there as the sound of cabinets opening and rummaging around fills the air. You smile to yourself, and shake your head at the mental image of Dazai becoming a tornado to find whatever he's looking for right now, hoping he doesn't make too much of a mess. You fidget with your hair, twirling it in between your fingers as you take a deep grounding breath while you wait.

A moment later, he comes back with what seems like art supplies and a ton of mini candlesticks.

He knows you're intrigued when you tilt your head in confusion, but then again that's probably just the confusion... Dazai sets down two canvases along with the candles, flashing you a mischievous grin. If you couldn't process your feelings through words, art was always there! You look over the activities he's laid out for you both, awaiting his silver tongued explanation.

"You know when I want to be the little spoon but I don't say anything?"

You laugh softly, and nod.

"Mhm, you get all moody and weird."

He nods back, a half smile on his face as he rests his hands on his hips. He wants to tell you that the only reason he even knew such intimate luxuries is because you showed him that he's worthy of it, of being loved, but he doesn't say anything. He lets the sweet memories between you swim through his mind as fuel for the day he's trying to create for you. His voice sounds more like he's talking out loud now, lost in a thought..

"You make me moody and weird. You also make me want to grab your soft little face and just..."

He then snaps back to the moment, and his tone picks up.

"... But alas, there is no time to waste! Come, sit, I'll get the other things ready.~"

He zooms off to the kitchen, and your heart softens at how much he fusses over you, though you also hope you aren't being too much. You know he'd hate to hear that, so you simply sit down and look over the supplies you had honestly forgotten you had.

Dazai makes tea, because he knows it helps with your fidgeting and you like how the mug feels in your hands, he also begins to set the candle sticks all over the living room, lighting them one by one. You flash him a look of faint concern.

"Feels like Dracula's castle. You sure this is safe, Osamu?"

He simply grins impishly.

"It's called 'mood lighting', cutie. There is an atmosphere to be created!"

"Yeah, and possibly a wildfire."

"Boo, you're no fun. Besides, that sounds like a problem for future us. We live in the moment."

Dazai would never risk your safety and you know that, which is why you don't push the topic any further.

You two settle in, the candles illuminating you both with a warm flame that feels more comforting than you'd like to admit, you feel yourself becoming more immersed in the random little doodles and brush strokes you create as you both talk for hours about literally nothing while sipping on your tea. Nothing feels nice, for once and Dazai can see it in the way you slowly become less and less tense. So mindful, so beautiful.

After you fill your canvas, you set it down, and peer over at Dazai's.

"What'd you paint?"

He smiles sheepishly, and hides his.

"Not finished yet. No peeking!"

He stands up and in one swift motion, runs outside, while leaving you bewildered at the spontaneity of the situation. A few moments later, he runs back inside, huffing with his arms behind his back. He sits back down on the floor with you, criss crossed. He grabs his canvas, and puts something on it as he slowly unveils his work to you.

It's a single crisp leaf he must have plucked from the grass when it fell, the orange and reddish hue placed on the canvas that shows a cartoonishly painted tree as well. He murmurs, eyes trained lovingly on you but with that familiar playful tone.

"I wanted you to get a little air. It's good for one's mood, you know."

You slowly take the leaf, and twiddle it in your thumb as you begin to smile to yourself. You mutter back.

"The weather changes, moods change, it's so overwhelming sometimes..."

He slowly leans in a little closer and places a hand on the small of your back, inching you closer to him too. He wants to distract you from those thoughts affecting you, but it's getting harder when all he can think about is how much you affect him. He whispers.

"My mood never changes, you're the most precious thing I have ever seen all year round."

You look up at him, your eyes communicating what you feel, and he picks up on it with a silent confirmation. You hold each other's gaze for a long quiet moment and when you feel ready you lean into his chest, nuzzling into him. He envelops you in a hug that feels like the remedy you've been searching for this whole time, and it almost brings you to tears. You don't know it also does the same to him. He gives you a soft squeeze and leans down to your ear, his warm breath feeling like the way life is supposed to feel. You mumble, your voice slightly muffled against him.

"Thank you, Osamu. Love you."

He smiles at that. To be something so soothing to you, to be of use for once in his life, it's a feeling that he could never describe. He'll have to find the words when he covers you in kisses from head to toe later, when he makes sure you feel the full extent of his devotion to you through thick and thin. He exhales deeply.

"Change of season, change of mind... It doesn't matter to me. It's still you. It will always be you."

[puripurin]

Yan! Llama Hybrid x SheepHybrid! Reader

— Recently, on the farm, a bunch of coyotes and wolves started to snag some sheep hybrids into the woods when they would get too close to the fences. It has gotten so bad that they would do it in broad daylight.

The owners decided that they would introduce a new addition to the herd to combat the coyotes. A male Llama named Lumi. All of the sheep were skeptical at first because they all thought that it was a little odd that the new sheep would have such a long neck and a lot bigger in size, but soon enough, they couldn't help but warm up to him.

Lumi, on the other hand, was still in his awkward phase. He'd recently entered into adulthood and was feeling sad and lonely without his parents there to guide him, but it wasn't until he saw your gorgeous curls and your small little tail that wagged in excitement. Just in that moment, he'd decided to be your life-long mate and started the process of courting you.

You did not give a shit about Lumi. You only cared about the coyotes that ate the rest of the flock. You wanted to start making sacrifices to grow your cult of small critters such as squirrels and rabbits.

This was because you heard from a passing by sheep hybrid that was being transported to another farm about how you could obtain everything you wanted if people devoted their lives to you.

However, you didn't expect Lumi to be so dedicated to you that he'd easily deciphered your messages to your devout followers and your weekly gatherings.

As you walked out of the dead of night, with the intention of killing a coyote that night. But it was oddly still, as if it was waiting for something. The trees didn't ruffle against each other, and the cool wind was nowhere to be seen

You stiffened up and silently walked back. If one of the other sheeps found out about this whole cult thing you had going on, you'd be ousted and killed by the coyotes instead.

But, you were immediately thrown down and turned over. Your eyes widened in panic and started to attack the person who held you down silently, only to realize that blood was dripping on your face.

"My love, I've killed one of those tainted and unpure coyotes for your sacrifice. I would hate to see your delicate hands get stained with something unworthy of your desire... but why... Why do you yearn and look at someone else with interest other than me? ... Only I shall be your eyes and ears, my love..."

Random and barely edit post after months of not posting. I was watch yt shorts and i came across a video abt guard llamas w sheeps. Its been on my mind for 3 weeks and i started this 2 weeks ago. I only decided now to finish it.

You can see the point where i went fuck it because i had no idea what to do with the reader's background so i was like "Ooh maybe they want to smash the coyotes... what's close to smashing coyotes... Cult." Cult leader YN it is.

Anyways below is for the rest of people who want to know what happened after that incident.

I feel better about my dog's death, but we weren't able to get him back due to the poor weather and the fact he was last seen in a drain. So there wasn't a proper burial, but I'm happy that we didn't end up with 2 losses. We had them since they were puppies, and its upsetting that the younger one died, but i understand why they had to kill him.

He's a dangerous breed of dog even though he's docile most of them time. He was a cane corso, and my older dog is a rottweiler and pitbull mix. So not the most safest dogs to be around, but what are you gonna do when your country is busy locking up a man for money laundering bcs they shit at their jobs.

Right, if I'm not lazy enough, I'll go back and redo every one of my ocs bcs im on the verge of deleting them all from embarrassment. Then that will hopefully be a small week long event for my tumblr as im not used to those things. But this might take months.

Also, no won't do kinktober, im lazy, and smut isn't my forte. Anyways bye-bye, see yall when my coffin feels too stuffy~

(soz if this is shit as well bcs i didn't do a whole lotta explaining abt Lumi's behavior)

[altraviolet]

"Were my optics pure gold, would you accept them?

What would you take from me, that I could prove myself a changed mech?"

The whole poem, I have it saved bc it haunts me (and also bc I'm turning it into a comic strip but shhhhh I am very slow abt it)

oooh!! I'm so glad you enjoy that poem! and oooooohhhhhhhh a shh comic strip shh shh 👀 👀

if you'd like to know more about how I constructed the poem, I put it beneath the cut :D

I thought really hard about how Megatron would consider himself, regarding the destruction that he's brought to countless beings, and how that contrasts to the worth of his own life. So he starts by asking about that:

“By what metric would you judge me? What action deigns itself equal to the value of a life?

He's looking to make amends, as it were, and his approach to that process is to ask, "what would you take from me to make this equal/better now?" The optics line is part of that - he offers his eyes and the thing that makes him a transformer - the most precious things he can offer [side note, having him offer a physical part of his body that humans do not have an equivalent to helps the world feel more real and transformers-y]:

Were my optics pure gold, would you accept them? Were my T-cog indestructible, would you have it? What would you take from me, that I could prove myself a changed mech?”

He deliberately pauses the poem recitation to change his physical position. this emphasizes a change in thought process- he wants to offer another approach to this trade off:

Here Megatron's stance shifted from a defensive posture to open arms.

Now he suggests that he should give something physical of himself freely instead of having it taken from him by another [note, more non-human anatomy]:

“Or perhaps I should give. Shall I give you the fine circuitry under my fingertips? The soft lining of my spark chamber?

But taking or giving physical parts of his body won't really accomplish anything. It can't bring anyone back, and it will only leave him damaged. So at the end he offers something immaterial, but perhaps worth more than anything in his physical body:

Or may I give you something else entirely? May I give you my word, my actions, my solemn promise that I seek to be better than I once was?”

This is Megatron still struggling to accept his part in what's happened. It's not stated outright much in the fic - because this isn't really a fic about Megatron - but we do see hints of this: he has to deal with his namesakes' destruction over and over and over and over. Every single dimension they go to, he sees what another Megatron has done. He's taking the punishment for all of them, in a way, by living with all that knowledge and guilt.

So yeah. He's still struggling with the whole idea of it, and he's still trying to prove to everyone that he has changed. I'm so happy you enjoy the poem! It seems to have accomplished what it set out to do <3

Thanks for the kind ask!

[fizzy-tizzy]

Headcanons for all the survivors gender/sexuality

Wilson- Just Kinda decided he was gonna be a boy when he was like 8 and his dad was so desperate for an heir that didn’t want him dead to rights he just kinda let it happen. would fuck anyone but at the same time is not interested at all

Willow- Butch-ish but more in a tomboy kinda way. genuinely likes wearing skirts and more feminine clothing but doesn’t really think she deserves to? if that makes sense? (She doesn’t really feel like a genuine legit girl) hardcore lesbian.

Wolfgang- Very traditionally masculine but in the “My job is to protect and take care of everyone” and not the “im a man so I can do whatever I want” type way. Gay but could totally be in a lavender relationship/marriage and have no problems w/ it

WX-78- Born a cis female, figured out early on that wasn’t right but couldn’t change it until they were an adult. Transed their gender but then figured out being a male wasn’t right either. eventually found someone who felt similarly and abandoned their flesh for the machine. solidly aroace. they’re triple a (agender, asexual, aromantic) just like batteries

Wickerbottom- cis female and “traditionally” feminine, has never felt the need to explore or question it. Used to be married to a man who was secretly gay and looking for someone similarly emotionally unavailable. He has since passed but left wicker a small fortune so. alls well that ends well ig

Wes- kind of a stereotypical femme twink. The kinda gay whos loud and proud and will hit you with a brick if you have a problem with that. feels obligated to help the others try and figure themselves out- esp the ones who are more in denial abt it

Maxwell- I think the idea that max is trans and Jack is cis and they turned out looking the exact same is hilarious. Technically the only ppl who knows he’s trans are jack and charlie- their parents just think he’s a masculine woman and everyone else knows him as a man. Bi and so so weak for bears and gently bossy women.

Wendy- Non-binary but still in the process of realizing it. Does not give a single shit abt romance but would totally be qpp with Webber once they know what that means.

Woodie- Probably Not Cis but has too much religious trauma to even dare questioning himself. He’s like JUST accepted the fact that he’s gay (still thinks hes going straight to hell but we’re working on that) so ynknow baby steps. baby steps. Deffo has a shit ton of body dysphoria due to the wereforms tho

Webber- Since spiders work a lil different in the constant (probably more like bees) there are like three genders Webber could potentially see themselves as. Drone, warrior, and queen. During his childhood he thinks of himself mostly as a drone but as he gets older and his sway over the spiders increases they’ll shift into seeing themselves as more of a queen. But other that he’s pretty much whatever non-spider gender is most convenient. Definitely bi.

Wigfrid- her gender is… strange. What she outwardly presents is her character’s way of presenting herself so ig I see her as kinda fluid? Idk valiant-valkyrie if ur reading this you can probably do a better job of explaining it. you are the defacto wigfrid authority. Definitely lesbian but once again will do whatever the role requires

Winona- Solidly butch lesbian. Definitely a caretaker and a protector but in the butch kinda way and not the femme kinda way. if that makes sense.

Wurt- Butch but hasn’t really realized it yet. does not think human genders apply to her bcs she’s a merm and will 100% be king when she grows up. baby lesbiab. her and wilba’s eventual union shall bring peace to the pig/merm kingdoms once and for all

Wortox- human genders do not apply to him. They are whatever is most convenient at the time. Fluid like loki and bugs bunny.

Walter- if xenogenders existed back then he would totally be like pupgender/buggender. Non-binary but has no problem being called a boy/man. Would be fine with any prns but people have only ever used he/him for him. Probably going to be a monsterf*cker when he grows up.

Wormwood- He is plant. Plants have sexes but no genders and wormwood is intersex anyway but they kinda just chose the first option presented to him once he found the others. Loves all but has absolutely no interest or idea about non-plant reproductive activities.

Walani- Yknow that “as a girl who’s a gross dude men who are fancy ladies are my best friends”? Yeah that’s her and Warly. she’s the emotional support golden retriever to warly’s high-strung cheetah. Lesbian but like. endearingly loser lesbian who’s only ever smooth when she’s not trying to be.

Warly- as mentioned before he is very much a guy who is a fancy lady. Would probably do drag if he had the chance and would 100% be the baddest bitch who makes all the men question their sexuality. Gay and european.

Wanda- doesn’t have time for all that gender questioning bullshit she just wants to kiss women.

Wheeler- Solid futch, leans more feminine or masculine depending on the situation. Woman-leaning bisexual, has probably fucked someone wife and inadvertently caused a divorce.

Woodlegs- pretty solidly cis male but 100% an embarrassing old gay grandpa. Doesn’t know much abt the terminology but is incredibly supportive and was definitely a homewrecker back in the day. Probably got out of at least one arrest by seducing the naval officer meant to bring him in

Wilba- high femme and definitely a baby lesbian. I do really like the idea of her being trans just because why not so why not. She and wurt are fat femme x fat butch once they grow up

Wagstaff- born as a girl but realized he hated it and made attempts to transition early on. Eventually ran away to America to fully transition. Non-binary too but hasn’t realized it yet and just thinks that everyone feels weird when someone calls them mr or sir. men-liker and old man yaoi certified

Wilbur- yes I’m doing the monkey. Gender is a strange concept to him, so he just kinda calls himself male bcs apparently he is? He doesn’t really understand it but it seems to be pretty important in human society so he’ll do it if it means he gets respected as an actual person and not just some sideshow.

[kamiko1234]

So, the same friends who got me to read the Percy Jackson have (against my will) spoiled me by showing me this image :

Telling me his name was Jason and that he's gonna get important later on.

Now ngl, I will admit, for a hot second I though that was Luke. They look alike as fuck, and I now have developed a problem of switching up their names 'cause I accidentally clocked them under the same person. Fuck. But also, they really look alike. So, in a burst of inspiration and excitment I shall present to thee my theory :

THAT'S LUKE'S LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER

NOW HEAR ME OUT; I KNOW a first name and pic isn't MUCH to go off on, BUT LIKE- I feel I might have gotten something there. Because- this sort of resemblance HAS to be on purpose. Like, they HAVE to be related in some way and physically speaking they ARE around the same age. SO LIKE; IMAGINE THIS : what if, when Luke/Jason were in the whomb, only one of them got their father's power ? While for the other one it stayed dormant to the point where Jason could basically pass as a normal human, unlike his brother ? With Annabeth we have seen that it can be dangerous for a mortal family to have a demigod child with them due to the threat monsters pose. WE ALSO KNOW LUKE RAN AWAY FROM HOME. SO MY THEORY !?

Basically, Jason/Luke are twin brothers. Luke inherited the largest and most obvious godly part from their father. Jason on the other hand inherited next to nothing, allowing him to pass as normal human. (As far as I know there's no point where it's mentioned that it isn't possible for this to happen) As the twins grow up and Luke attracts more monsters, it get#s progressively more dangerous for the seemingly human Jason. Shit hit's the fan when during a monster attack, jason get's severely injured (that#s where he got that weird scar on his lip). His twin, Luke, horrified at what happened and under the believe his twin is dead decided to run away and get to Camp Halfblood. That's where me meets up with Annabeth and Thalia ect. HOWEVER, Jason wasn't dead. Heavily injured, yes. But NOT dead. He did however have a nasty case of amnesia. A complete clean slate, he remembered NOTHING. Their mother, not rly having been the biggest fan of Jason bc of how he endangered basically everyone around him, just straight up lied to Jason abt his twin. SO NOW I DID NOTICE THAT JASON HAS THAT NECKLACE FROM CAMP HALLFBLOOD WITH ONE BEAD SO MY IDEA FOR THAT !? He's a late bloomer. It only seemed like he got little to no powers from his father, but as he grew older the powers slowly started to surface. That meant he too started to get demigod powers as well as him starting to attract monsters.

Which is why he too has to come to camp. HIM COMMING SO LATE IS ALSO WHY HE HAS THAT WACKY ASS PURPLE SHIRT. (I'll be real I have no idea what to make of that. Looks like a spelling mistake or someone just smashing random keys on a keyboard. It isn't looking like a band to me either. Maybe it's just smth in-universe) I also have no idea what that wacky tattoo is that he has. HOWEVER; I could possibly see a future Luke centric plot where it's him going out to get his long lost twin brother back ! Possibly the plot for the 2nd book maybe ? Another theory of mine is that, should either Annabeth or Grover be the one to betray Percy and switch sides, Luke would be the one to fill in their spot in the trio. So that could possibly play into my theory, would also allow for some nice backstory exploring. But also the heartbreak of Luke finding out his twin brother who he thought DIED is alive, BUT ALSO DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM !?

I wanna see that angst. PS; ok while tagging I noticed there's no Jason Castellan tag. Which, okay may be a problem. But dw Jason props just changed last names post amnesia. Maybe his mother simply got married to someone and Jason took the man's lastname. My theory can still work. (Unfortunatly @mrfandomwars said that, when I asked abt Jason's current lastname, it would invlove revealing more canon which I don't want. So Jason ain#t gonna be tagged....)

[yonpote]

also some ppl asked me abt what i was talking about w like. SOME fans' perceptions toward dnp's early relationship. giant nonsense under cut :3

essentially it was about like, i guess we have an idea in our heads about what a parasocial relationship between a celebrity and a fan looks like right. and there can be issues there when boundaries are crossed, particularly when the celebrity is the one to cross that boundary without acknowledging the inherent power dynamic that they hold. this is still an issue that can happen with youtubers to this day ESPECIALLY because the line between creator and fan is so blurred.

when we hear about how dan and phil's relationship started out, from the current perspective we have towards parasocial youtube relationships, it can look a lot like that power dynamic. i mean for the most part, its something that's joked about, but specifically from the view of a "crazy fan". dan is phil trash, hes the ultimate phillie, he's the parasocial fan who won, i mean even HE joked about it back in the day (in a much edgier way) with his video about befriending internet stars by doing all these horrible things.

but it's important to remember what youtube was like in 2009, and what youtube culture specifically in the UK was like in 2009. those old halloween gathering vlogs and old sitc vlogs are all still up on youtube, and you can see it really was just. 50 nerds standing in a field huddled around doing whatever. the only thing i could compare it to in my personal life was going to facebook group cosplay meetups in washington square park in nyc, just a bunch of nerds wearing horns in a park and then going to get mcdonalds afterwards lol.

a youtuber wasnt even a real thing at this point in time. there was no money to be made really, just internet clout. cant remember who said this in a call recently, but someone made this comparison: dan and phil meeting each other was less like a modern day youtuber meeting a fan and more like a tumblr user with several thousand followers meeting a tumblr user with a few hundred followers. like in terms of a dynamic, sure phil was a few years older and had some internet clout, but that didnt have nearly as much weight back then as it does today. also fine lets talk about the age gap.

dan was 18 and phil was 22. a lot of (american) people talk about this and are like "oop red flag!" and im american so i kinda get it. especially when you know about how college dudes can and do prey on girls fresh out of high school like that. but a couple things to remember.

there are different standards for age differences in relationships everywhere around the world and we cant just view everything from the one mindset we know, and in terms of mental differences, 18 really isnt that different from 22 (frontal lobe aint done developing just yet yall)

they are two queer guys. and im not saying whatever isnt possible but like its something to take into account that queer relationships are just not going to be in the same framework as het ones.

they are two neurodivergent guys. a common thing w neurodivergence is feeling like youre being left behind by peers.

alright lets focus on that last point shall we? think about it this way. dan had just finished [UK equivalent of high school SORRY FOR BEING AMERICAN] but he is taking a gap year. from what hes said and what we've seen of this time, it seems like his friends have gone off to uni and he was kind of alone and figuring out what he should even do. idk if he even decided on studying law yet by the time he started talking to phil.

speaking of whom... phil had also just finished school, he finished his masters at uni! i posted a clip on here that i found really interesting from a (pre-dan) 2009 vlog of phil being open about like, feeling scared about what to do once school was over. he had to get a job and move out of his parents house and become a Real Man.

if you think about it, dan and phil were in much more similar boats than you might think at first glance. they were both extremely internet queerdos who were being forced to "grow up" and felt kind of isolated from their peers who seemed to have their shit together in comparison. there was a lot they could relate to even outside of common interests or anything like that.

its not a lie that there was some parasocial nature to their relationship at the start, but it's not nearly the same as other later cases of youtuber-fan relationships. but also! maybe im only saying all this cuz it worked out right? what abt [redacted] and [redacted]? two queer guys, similar ages to dnp, similar amounts of internet clout, but they didnt work out. so maybe it really is just bc its dan and phil specifically that it managed to work out.

[fairyhagmother]

okay i know i’ve been annoying in your ask box a lot recently but i can’t stop thinking about livia and i throughly enjoy anytime you speak about her. so please, spare some livia cardew thoughts?

Oh please you could never annoy me <33

Under a cut due to lengthy and unhinged yapping and potentially triggering content (tagged)

Talking about Livia on here has really helped me refine her character — she has changed so much since I started thinking abt her, from outright villain to simply being misunderstood to outright villain again. Now she kind of sits in the middle. there is a dark streak to her, for sure, but she does also have some redeeming qualities.

I’ve always been under the impression that she was raised by her mother after the war so I’ve kind of run with that. Her father was a legal scholar who died during the war (still unsure how) and Livia misses him horribly. Livia’s mother buried herself in her work so Livia has pretty much raised herself (and has done a. not so great job at times). She’s been enrolled in ballet since her earliest childhood, and is actually an extremely talented dancer who has a knack for pushing through and past physical pain and could have been a professional, but her mother’s always said that it would have been a waste of her intelligence (🤨). She has a long-standing rivalry with Palmyra Monty that once resulted in um. fisticuffs. shall we say. Unfortunately for all, Livia has pretty poor emotional regulation skills and will get so angry, and so outraged, that she will lash out, usually after a period of lengthy seething. She figures out early on that sometimes causing other people pain brings her pleasure, especially if she believes that her fury is somehow justified (however skewed that justification may be).

She’s gay but doesn’t really know it.

She marries one of Arachne’s older brothers. Again I go back and forth with what happens to poor Tiberius Crane. He dies, that for sure. As you know I’ve sorta been playing around with Livia being Snow’s second wife, but the idea that he may have married Iphigenia Moss is so deeply horrific to me that I almost push back against it. I think that he takes so much from her that it exacerbates her mental health issues and that that is what kills her, and I find that extremely troubling.

Anyways sometimes I think she ends up marrying Snow because she loves power. Sometimes it’s because she’s on a revenge crusade for Iphie (which everyone thinks is really strange because Iphie and Livia weren’t even that close). Sometimes it’s because she genuinely thinks she may be happy with him (BUZZER. WRONG.)

Coriolanus and Livia are incredibly poorly suited to each other. It is fascinating. They seem so repulsed by each other that everyone is genuinely shocked when they have children together. like it’s a joke in the friend group where they will just look at each other in absolute disbelief and shock like when and how the fuck did THAT happen. It did and it was terrible. That Livia has constant affairs is the Capitol’s worst kept secret but somehow coriolanus is just like “my wife’s lesbianism is the only thing I respect about her.” I’m joking. Or am I. Idk it’s hard for me to reconcile snows obsession with control and his image with his rather unruly wife’s behaviour. I’m choosing to see it like how in medieval literature everyone knows king arthur’s wife is having an affair but no one says anything out of fear of disrupting the status quo. now I bet u didn’t think I’d manage to work king arthur into this but there you have it.

Livia hates her husband and fantasises about killing him constantly. She stumbles across the John collier clytemnestra painting while she’s at a reception at the Ravinstills and is deeply compelled like. Maybe she could axe coriolanus while he’s in the bath? Wouldn’t that be fun and empowering?

In some worlds she escapes her husband and drives off into the sunset after mobilising a network of women who hate coriolanus (there’s a lot). sometimes she realises that he will kill her so kills herself just to spite him and disrupt his career. She’s pretty unhinged by this point. I think she dotes on her children, particularly her youngest daughter, so I’m trying to wrap my head around a context in which it would make sense for her to leave her children behind? Maybe she thinks they will be safer with her gone but coriolanus not in power than they would be if she were around but coriolanus was in power? Idk idk initially this entire thing started bc I thought It would be funey if Livia gone girled herself but now I kinda can’t make it work lol

[lunariamv]

Love Letter is finished and playable!!! yay!!! :DDDD

♡ Play Love Letter here! ♡

Continue reading for blog ^^

"THE HOME INVADER? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????"

It took me a bit longer than I thought because I was struggling with bugs (like being able to progress when you shouldn't, etc) and recording (im lowkey a perfectionist when it comes to doing things in order sometimes).

But now it's out! This was actually my first game, originally made in VX Ace (in 2021) before I learned to use RPG2000 and remade it. (the original is ugly af)

The plot is kinda similar to Mikoto Nikki, but this goes a little more into the psychological and snooping aspect; you're going through the man's trash and stuff-

also took a bit of insp from the random yan game 'don't notice me' that kubz scouts played a while ago (omg the memories); say what you want about that game, but i kinda liked it XD

I named the game based on the plot, but lowkey also in condolences to the failed yandere sim game (rip love letter mtf); since we didn't get that game I made this instead (even tho they aren't even remotely similar XD)

mia's og design was similar to bow-chan's lmao but honestly i like the coquette pinkish design more, its more fitting!

so yeah; i finally finished and now i can continue on!!

there's definitely at least three more charon-esque games i would like to make (i have like a whole list that i might post but certainly i want to have a 'dark side' game, another love triangle one, and then a three person one like mix ore)

yandere thai tea eheheh

also i have the violent urge to make a normal rpg game kinda like OFF or The Gray Garden, we shall see though, because I wanted to go in order of game types instead of jumping around;; BUT I HAVE SUCH GOOD IDEAS FOR OTHER THINGS HNNNNNGGGG

GAME SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

the true end only happens because mia is a simp

if it was anyone else; mikio would've gone to jail frfr

i wanted mikio to be decently nuanced; so its really up to the viewer to forgive him or not, just like souta and raden; even tho mia is simping here xD

SPOILER END!!!!!

also, abt the manly easter eggs; i am not glazing :( hot take perhaps but i dont actually like him anymore (still like his old vids tho), i just kept easter eggs in bc my 2021 self worked really hard on it, and it would be very mean of me to take that away from her....

she was a pure, hopeful girl with dreams before she became a hyper edgy nihilist LOL

but i digress, to those who find my stuff, thank you for indulging my bizarre hobby

[kamiversee]

KAMMMIIIIII that last chapter was AMAZING (also yes the theories on sukuna blackmailing gojo were RIGHT RAAAAAHH)!!!! ok ok ok so here’s the parallels/new info we’ve got so far:

- this is why gojo HATES when the reader calls herself a whore (esp thinking about after she hooks up w sukuna and gojo is driving her and he gets MAD about it)

- this is also why gojo insists on making her hate him bc he knows that’s the whole point, he knows he’s not completely clear of his obsession but he finally understands that what he did was wrong and he can’t let her love him in the way he wants

- YES the stuff abt choso being on there bc sukuna knew she would have feelings for him!!! im still a firm believer that it’s bc sukuna feels bad about what happened w choso and wants to make it up to him in some way but idk if we’ll get to see that through

- ALSO a few sukuna thoughts: sooooo was he being stalked by his ex, the one he ended up hitting? bc he talks about being afraid, and the whole “never let a woman take away what makes you a man” thing could be because he was scared by the situation? idk that just felt too personal

- i also don’t think we ever found out who actually hurt sukuna the night of his party and gave him that bruise (i thought you said at one point that it wasn’t gojo but tbh my brain is a little mushy so that might be wrong), i don’t have many theories on that one just yet but we will be cooking hmmm

- i’ve been SAYIN it but like yes what gojo did was bad. full stop. but! he also really did seem to grow throughout TFL and the idea of him being blackmailed by sukuna makes him much much more sympathetic!!! like he knows you don’t have a job so he comes up w the idea to pay you, he keeps pushing you away bc he knows you shouldn’t love him, ugh just makes my heart hurt for this poor man

- also ….hot take incoming…..but idk that sukuna is as bad as we thought. like rn he’s just trying to protect the reader from what he sees as creepy ass behavior from gojo, presumably he’s had something similar happen, and like yes bro thrives on chaos and wants to hurt us but not just for the purpose of causing pain to a stranger but specifically to punish gojo; idk i’m not here to debate intentions vs actions vs consequences but it’s not like he just did this for laughs he really is trying to make gojo hurt and clearly he has some emotions tied up in this too

- ok rereading that last paragraph idk lmao like bro still (presumably) hits yuji bc gojo also mentions bruises idk idk idk don’t come for me

- something else that stuck out to me that i haven’t been able to stop thinking abt is that in the TFL extra on reader’s wedding night w choso, it’s mentioned that sukuna gives up custody of yuji the same night gojo reveals everything (i think tbh it’s been a min since i read it), but like….why? (i think) that extra was canon and it almost feels like too much of a coincidence but maybe it just is ????? someone else who has better thoughts than i do please share hahahahaha

PHEW this got long but i just had to type it out after all our theories have been coming for so long it’s so exciting to see everything start falling into place!!!! i can’t wait to get back to the run in w sukuna at the gas station AHH i have a feeling bro is about to blow shit up and i cannot wait!!!!

- 🩷

WOOHOOO YAP SESSION

Glad you enjoyed it my love!!! I shall disagree/agree paragraph by paragraph so lets get to unpacking :P

1. Yes! Sukuna was the first and only person Gojo’s ever heard call her such a thing so when the term is later used by the reader herself, it triggers him all over again :)

2. Yes yes yes yes!! This is exactly why Gojo kept telling her that love between them is “forbidden” and why he’d compare it to being a “crime”. You can also see how as tfl goes on, his obsession returns due to him being so close with the reader and finally experiencing her just as he’d always longed to.

3. Mhm! Sukuna is quite the mastermind :3

4. This Sukuna thought is on the right track to say the very least & avoid further spoilers! ^.^

5. Gojo was not the person to hit Sukuna that time!

6. YES I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. I know he’s bad terrible etc BUT, Gojo does do exactly as he always said he would & changes for the reader to become deserving of her whilst also telling her she cannot be with him… I’d also like to point out how a lot of Gojo girlies said they would’ve picked him right then and there after his confessions but I wonder how they feel now knowing that Gojo would’ve almost never told them about his past actions 🤔

7. Sukuna is… Well, let me say this, there are no true villains nor hero’s in tfl or ftl. No one is completely good & no one is completely bad, both stories are just messy tales of humans figuring life out.

8. Well, Gojo did mention bruises but that is before tfl takes place so we don’t know when exactly Sukuna’s domestic violence stops…

9. Think about two things here— One, Sukuna mentions that the reader deserves some form of happiness out of her, a feeling that could’ve doubled after he experienced her for himself. Two, it’s theorized that Sukuna still wants to make things up to Choso. Similar to Gojo, Sukuna cannot undo what he’s done in the past but he can try to make amends. I hope that makes sense & helps your thoughts ^.^

Im happy to see u excited about this!!! I was excited planning this & writing this >< When we circle back to the gas station & enter the sequel… things will indeed be insane. 🙂‍↕️

[thetobaccotornado]

YALL I HAVE A MAJOR UPDATE!!

[ imma make code names for each guy because i can already tell im going to be updating this drama and so i dont have to keep saying guy 1 and guy 2. so guy 1 shall now be known as ferret, and guy 2 shall now be known as tomato. (don’t judge the code names they have a reason behind them 😭) ]

so last night, i went to my stepdad’s friends 50th birthday party, and ferret came with me. it was abt an hour drive from my house, so he got dropped at mine before we drove to the party. keep in mind that me and ferret (16) were the youngest at the party and everyone else was in their 40s-50s and their kids were in their 20s roughly.

so we had broken away from everyone basically the moment we got there to feed the horses and ponies on the property, for some fun since we weren’t really going to be hanging out with all the daggy dads and such.

abt an hour or two in, i asked ferret to sneak me a beer bcuz yolo 🤪, and i drank it as we sat in the paddock, then we went inside and put up harry potter on the tv.

maybe 10 mins in he goes “i have an idea” and im like “what is it?” n then he grabs my hand n leads me to the bathroom (i bet u can tell me where this is going) and i kinda got fingered 🤠

and we left the party abt 15 minutes after that, where he fell asleep on me in the car.

and i was supposed to see tomato today, but turns out he couldnt go out.

im still genuinely trying to decide who i want, this whole situation feels like a fucking wattpad story, and it is genuinely happening, like this is a real situation so please keep that in mind.

(pls no hate, im posting these to vent and that you guys find some sort of entertainment from this fucked up shit 🙏)

anyways, wherever you are, have a great day!

love ya girlies

xoxo Tay

[demonir]

I just had a thought that I need to bother everyone with

What if miss Pauling became the next Administrator?

the tf2 server was talking abt what could happen in the hypothetical comic 7 we're never gonna get and my mind started wandering

We have no idea what the administrator's plans are, what her reasons for doing what she's doing could be or what the end goal is and yet her time is running out (like one whole hour if engineer's estimate is correct)

Now imagine just how powerful it would be for the administrator to trust miss Pauling to finish her job for her, to continue behind her footsteps until the job is done no matter how long that takes. And Pauling, the woman who's been blindingly following her all these years would not refuse this at all.

The difference however is that unlike the administrator Pauling is attached to the mercs enough to consider them her friends despite sending them to kill each other all the time so this would VERY MUCH become a problem for her

She would be VERY capable of doing all the work but what about emotions? would she feel guilt? regret? at what point does work end and relationships begin? what's more important in her heart? following orders or friendship?

This would all pose a delightfully complicated scenario that I'd love to see in depth with all of them

There's also the fact that Pauling would not have australium to keep her alive indefinitely, she's chained down to a regular lifespan and would be forced to either finish the job before she dies or find a substitute shall she fail

So, would she be a good administrator? well yes, I do think she's more than capable however it all comes down to the fact of does she want to?

[pansy-picnics]

Okay hi! I first want to apologize for how long this will be, but I just found your page and am sort of new to tumblr.

For one, your art is amazzingggg! Every fandom you're in is heavily blessed. It's especially awesome for myself as a tts geek, to see so many dedicated to creating content. As far as the unknighted ship goes, from what I can tell, and this may be totally wrong so please correct me if it is, you want more people to be in the ship? I 100% agree that the division in this fandom is honestly detrimental to its growth, however, I feel like it keeps the peace in a way.

I myself like new dream and am fine with the poly ship, but, i was speaking with a friend who doesn't ship unkighted and cassunzel at all. They were explaining to me how it seems like most of the unknighted shippers do prefer cassunzel, which is again fine. I'm not sure if that's a fact through and through but the sentiment is there. But it got me thinking about how that perception in itself could disuade newcomers who are more into the Eugene/Rapunzel relationship? As far as division goes, I mean.

Again it's no problem to have favorites, in fact it's actually great that this fandom has so many spaces to include people who have a particular liking to any one thing, but it's rare to see anyone here really neutral on pairings if that makes sense? I know those people exist, but even beyond ships, our favorite characters, platonic relationships, and much more are pushed usually, very individually.

Love Cass? Great there's a ton of blogs for that! Rapunzel? Eugene? Varian? So many blogs for them too with art, concepts, etc! But with this fandom being so tiny- and that other weird anon we shall not mention by name, I think as long as people aren't flat out rude to each other, maybe a little separation is alright. Not everyone mingles well together. Maybe it's for the better?

I hope this wasn't annoying to read oops- but I am interested to hear your thoughts, if you feel comfortable responding.

oh no absolutely and i really enjoy these kinds of discussions!! i 100% agree lol and i’ve never meant to make it seem like i don’t. the distance between the fandom is absolutely what keeps the peace and as much as i SAY i want people to branch out more i know if it actually happened it would probably just leave us with even more division and infighting LOL😭

the neutrality is VERY rare and it’s honestly the only reason i’m so passionate about it, because i’ve never fallen into any of those divisions and it makes it really hard to find likeminded people!!! it’s why i put so much effort into my characterizations and how i portray all the dynamics, it tends to cater to everyone because i’ve never been able to pick and choose favorites myself haha

i would love for more people to find enjoyment in uknighted dream especially, since the dynamic is so important to me, but i totally understand it’s just not everyones thing and thats cool too!! :) i’m a bit surprised about the idea that most of us prefer cassunzel though, i never thought about it that way especially since i’ve never had a preference myself. i do sometimes find myself drawing cassunzel more, but that’s less because i prefer them over new dream and moreso because i feel the need to be super upfront about it…💀 i’ve had a lot of new dream fans comment on my uknighted dream art who seem to COMPLETELY miss the point and/or just disregard cass entirely. when i try to be subtle abt it most people don’t acknowledge it so most of my art is just me like violently pointing to them like LOOK!! she’s in love with BOTH of them!!! THEY’RE KISSING!!!!

as someone who’s been super involved with the uknighted dream community i’ve never felt like any of us really have a “preference”, a lot of us are hardcore cassunzel fans but that’s a given cuz that’s usually what drives us to the polyam ship in the first place. i have seen a lot of people argue that like “its just an excuse to ship new dream and cassunzel at the same time” and like….Yeah???? thats kind of the point??? 😭 i really don’t understand how people make it out to be a BAD thing bc like. the point of fandom is just to do whatever and have fun. so what if we wanna ship two pairings at the same time. why NOT just shove them into a polycule

it’s not like cass and eugene don’t have chemistry either???? they obviously care about each other and they don’t get along solely for rapunzel!!! i can’t speak for all ukd fans obviously but i think in my experience most of us did just start off “shipping two things at the same time” but with all the substance involved they VERY quickly become a set. cass and eugene’s dynamic whether platonic or romantic is really fun to explore and they all bounce so well off of each other i think it’s perfect!! they all just mean so much to me ok. they’re all equals and at the end of the day that’s really what i try to portray most in my work :3

[maskspurpose]

for superhero fic: 2, 8 (besides wtei), 9 for fine reunion: 7 for tori, 20, 22 and 13, 21 in general

Oh my god hiiii who are you <3 Putting these under a cut bc of how much I wrote LMAO

Superhero AU

2: How did you get the idea to write this?

WataEi week on twitter had a list of prompts and one of them included hero/villain au which made me think about how those are like... complicated and interesting roles for wataru and eichi respectively since theyve both played the protagonist and antagonist and how this could be an AU where you can explore that and another theme (masks) in a really fun way. It kinda like. appeared in my head fully formed especially bc superhero comics are a past special interest i've come back to a couple of times now.

8: Which character is gonna have the biggest storyline?

I meant to follow the broad strokes of ES1 main story and just retell it in this new framing device or rather like... see where it goes from there, so it would probably end up being Tori or Hokuto depending on where the dice of my focus falls. In a version of the story I was thinking about doing a type of monster of the week format similar to how many magical girl shows do it where the monster in question is like... the manifestation of the Mental Issues someone is having so I think in that version a lot of them have the potential to get a day in the spotlight.

Thinking about it some more though I really enjoy the worldbuilding I did for Yuzuru so. Honestly he's also a big candidate. It just feeds really well into a lot of the stuff that's happening.

9: Is there anything in the fic you're not so excited about writing?

I got extremely stuck on the worldbuilding and overarching plot and how to make it work without it being boring (bc of how much of it is retelling the main story) and also just... making the kinda complex morality stuff I wanna highlight work in a kinda cartoony setting?

The other thing is smaller but Wataru alternates pronouns depending on their identity in this story (at least in Eichi's POV) and keeping that straight is a headache and a half for me tbh.

fine reunion

7: What are your plans for Tori?

Okay so the setup of this fic is, essentially, what if EP:Link bad end where fine ends up disbanding, which means... you kind of have to imagine Tori's development re: the rest of fine as being stuck in that specific point in time? The last selfish thing he asked for didn't come true, so what does that mean... in this case it means he's suspicious of Wataru and passively pissed despite being aware that it's not fully justified.

I think at the same time he's grown more independent. He's grown up in a lot of ways that we can also see in ES2 and I think has become a lot more savvy and aware of unsavory business practices both by his own family and others. I think out of fine he's the one who seems like he's changed the most simply by virtue of being the one who had the most growing up to do. I think he's both become a bit more like Eichi in the roles he fills and a lot less like Eichi in how he does it? And where it all goes... we shall see!

20: Give a vague description of something that will happen without revealing too much

fine reunion album tour. four people with pent up emotional issues. in one bus and/or hotel room.

22: Will this fic include more angst or more fluff?

The reason I'm like willing to write it is because ultimately I want to lean towards fluff? I think there's ways to do this that get angsty really quickly and my original concept for it was leaning into that but ultimately I wanna focus on like... the fact that yes if fine split up these characters would stay the same in some ways but just how much personal growth is up to you as a person and imo one of the now most important things abt fine which is that they are together as a unit because they like each other and want to be.

There's still gonna be some angst and some topics are unavoidable just bc it will touch on like. idk a large part of the premise is that Eichi is doing the whole reunion bc he's doing an early retirement as an idol because of his health (no acute reasons and more of a precaution but it's still. yknow) and that Wataru left after EP:Link to become an actor. So there's issues.

General Questions:

13: Is there any unwritten/unpublished fics you haven't mentioned you're gonna do?

No promises but I still want to write something about Wataru and Keito working together on a script for Dramatica and what that would entail. I also wanna do a 5+1-ish (4+1?) thing/series about Wataru kissing the other eccentrics or something.

Part of me wants to one day do a collaboration on something with my boyfriend but we'd have to figure out the mechanics and I haven't brought it up to him yet, soooo 🤫🤫🤫

21: Is there any unwritten fic that you don't know if you ever will write?

Originally I was going to do a proper sequel to the Watareichi fic I wrote that's been shrinking in scope for a variety of reasons (less interest in writing wtrei as anything but exes, dissatisfaction with the fic it'd be a sequel to). There's a longer version of the Wataru & HiMERU drabble I wrote that'll never be done because uuuuuuh I really don't care for HiMERU anymore.

I have this whole AU i plotted out at some point where Wataru and Mama have a unit together bc I thought it'd be funny for a unit swap prompt but ultimately that's probably never going to happen.

IDK I have WIPs from fandoms I'm no longer in does that count?

[antigonewinchester]

15x19

Blessed are the meek, for they shall... inherit the earth.

The ending scene, where Sam and Dean and Jack go up against and defeat Chuck, has a lot of echoes to 5x22: Lucifer killing Cas/Bobby for trying to help Dean > Chuck killing Michael for trying to help Sam & Dean; Lucifer wailing on Dean > Chuck wailing on Sam & Dean; Sam taking back control from Lucifer, taking back ‘his power’ over himself and saving Dean/the world > Jack gaining power from Sam & Dean’s beating and then taking Chuck’s power for himself, although instead of Sam jumping into the Cage into Hell, Jack ascends to Godhood/Heaven, so a much happier end. 

CHUCK: This... This... This is why you're my favorites. You know, for the first time, I have no idea what happens next. Is this where you kill me? I mean, I could never think of an ending where I lose. But this, after everything that I've done to you... to die at the hands of Sam Winchester...  Of Dean Winchester, the ultimate killer... It's kind of glorious. DEAN: Sorry, Chuck. CHUCK: What? What? DEAN: See, that's not who I am. That's not who we are. CHUCK: What kind of an ending is this? SAM (to JACK): His power. You sure it won't come back? JACK: It's not his power anymore. SAM (to CHUCK): Then I think it's the ending where you're just like us and like all the other humans you forgot about. DEAN: It's the ending where you grow old, you get sick, and you just die. SAM: And no one cares. And no one remembers you. You're just forgotten.

There’s a poetic justice, in Chuck misusing his power, never really caring about his creations, and thinking himself above humans, then getting turned into one of those weak, powerless humans himself. But it also makes being human into something of a punishment in a way that feels depressing to me, like it’s humiliating for Chuck to be dragged down to humanity’s level.

Buckner & Ross-Lemming really do go back again & again to the “Dean as a killer” idea, huh. I wonder how much it was them who shifted this theme, because there are elements of it in Kripke/Gamble’s seasons but it’s very much connected to Dean’s abusive upbringing as a child hunter in a way that gets lost / downplayed / minimized as the show goes on. Kind of paired with how hunting isn’t the same in later seasons as it is in earlier ones, too.

JACK: Dean, I'm not coming back home. In a way... I'm already there. DEAN: Where? JACK: Everywhere. SAM: So you are Him. JACK: I'm me. But I know what you mean. SAM: What if we want to see you? You know, or have a beer or whatever? JACK: I'm around. I'll be in every drop of falling rain, every speck of dust that the wind blows, and in the sand, in the rocks, and the sea. DEAN: It's a hell of a time to bail. You got a lot of people counting on you, people with questions. They're gonna need answers. JACK: And those answers will be in each of them. Maybe not today, but... someday.  People don't need to pray to me or to sacrifice to me. They just need to know that I'm already a part of them and to trust in that. I won't be hands on. Chuck put himself in the story. That was his mistake. But I learned from you and my mother and Castiel that... when people have to be their best... they can be. And that's what to believe in. Well... I'm really as close as this. (JACK puts his hand over his heart). Goodbye.

Even knowing the Jack becomes God ending, I can understand why some Jackgirls really don’t like it, and it does feel a bit melancholy to me, although I do think it is intended to be bittersweet. It’s Jack coming into his power, and because he’s a good person, he knows how to use it well--healing Sam & Dean, restoring the world. Even though Jack is in ‘everything,’ there’s still a sense of loss, a separation from him and Sam & Dean. Jack saves the world but loses the chance at a normal life, even if the possibility he could have one was pretty slim. (Or maybe I’m just thinking too much abt how Jack’s ending parallels Dean’s, heh.) I don’t care for the baby!Jack fandom trend, but I think I get where it’s coming from, in giving Jack a normal childhood that he never had and never gets (plus Destiel being dads, usually).

There’s also that Jack very much ends up a Christ figure in the story, with the last 4 eps of the season seeing Jack’s “death,” resurrection, and ascension. ...oh, and that actually gives an interesting spin to 15x17 in Dean denying Jack as family right before trying to lead him to his death, huh.

(Although that makes the optics of Jack as a Christ figure defeating Chuck, this cruel & unforgiving ‘older’ God who was also a character created (and sort of representing) an earlier era of the show led by a Jewish showrunner & many Jewish writers look, uh, Very Not Good. I don’t think it was intended, but yikes...)