#[:.lord alexander head cannons:.] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rennsdeaddoves · 1 year

Text

Long Fic / Fic Series List

a list of the long fic's / series, their sumaries, ratings, and ships! the colour of the fic titles indicate their position on my dead dove scale (if you need a reminder go to my intro post)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Awakened - Akira / ghost in the shell crossover

this fic is a guilty pleasure of mine, it is a cross over between the 1988 film Akira (and the original manga) and the 1995 Ghost in the shell movie.

throughout this fic it follows my OC a girl named Tehanu who is on Major Motoko's team of elites. like the Major she is also a fully cyborg, she has a complete shell provided to her by section nine and thus she works dutifully with her team.

however on a slow day they get a call about explosions going off downtown Tokyo though when they arrive the culprit is gone, though not entirely as Tehanu catches a glimpse of a boy in a red cape fleeing the scene. she gives chance and when she catches up with him she is met with Tetsuo Shima, who is entirely confused on where he is and why he is not back at the stadium facing down Kaneda.

this is a slow burn, enemies to begrudging allies to lovers fic where the main paring is Tetsuo Shima (akira) x Cannon (my oc)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

When we Make it to the Other Side - Journey to the west

A modern day political Science major named Rue gets flung back though time and space ending up ancient china, after wandering for a few days on her own she runs into a traveling group comprised of three demons and a Monk. reluctantly she joins their group knowing that because they are headed to the Buddha himself it is likely her best bet of returning to her own time. but maybe she's not destined to go back...

Jttw fic where it has isekai type elements, @skittlescripts story Isekaie'd to the west inspired me to write this one

Sun Wukong x Oc

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

The Sweetness of Rot - Lego Monkie Kid

Official Summary; Tao is the creation of Sun Wukong. She is his daughter, made by accident and loved wholeheartedly by; Him, his Monkeys, friends, gods, and demons alike

Wukong really thought that after her, his life turned around for the very best, truly he did… but fate is cruel and unfair. Tao is ripped away from him by destiny’s hand in the form of his oldest “friend”. Macaque thinks he deserves this, he has a right to her. After all, how dare the piece of shit that took his whole life away get to live his to the very best with a daughter and friends he doesn’t deserve. Taking her from him was only the first step in his plan, he will break her, pick up the pieces, and put them back together making someone who is unrecognizable to the monkey king. A perfect weapon to beat him, a monster to kill him.

Wukong x daughter oc

this one is gonna break ya'lls hearts i can guarantee it

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

The Will of Gods and Monsters - Hellsing Ultimate

official summary; what is the human will? The age-old argument is of whether humans have free will at all, but if you want to go deeper, what about the Gods we serve? And what of the monsters they create?

Father Alexander Anderson makes choices that hurt him, he fixes those choices and eradicates all love for anyone except God. Though it is debatable who his god is.

Aireth made a choice in her young life to explore the world and subsequently got tangled up with a Lord by the name of Vlade Tempest, or Vlad the Impaler, she made an oath, by choice, and it continues to bite her in the ass even after she thinks she’s rid herself of it.

Finally, Abbadon. She seems to have no free will of her own, constantly controlled by the ones who took her as a child she never gets to make her own choices. Until she did, and the glass was broken.

It can be argued that humans have free will, Integra willingly killed her Uncle to save Hellsing, Walter willingly serves as her butler.

But what of the monsters under her control? Alucard, Aireth, Saris? What of the gods? Anderson, Seraph? Is their will their own?

Alexander Anderson x Oc + The Captain (Hans) x OC

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Jujutsu Kaisen End of the Dynasty series - Jujutsu kaisen

ok- technically this should be considered an au because i've changed quite a few things for this... but eh

so since there is no way i'm explaining what this is without a massive post imma just sumarize for yall.

Sukuna has a daughter which he despises at first, but he soon grows to love her. she grows under his reign as the king of curses and she is cared for, protected, and loved (also overly sheltered at some points)

eventually Sukuna gets sealed away and Kohaku (his daughter) is left to her own devices for 1000 years, she travels, trains, hones in her skills, and eventually begins to collect her father fingers so she can bring him back, but it doesn't go that way when the sorcerers ambush her and she is locked away until Satoru Gojo finds out and thinks that she can be an excellent asset.

Sukuna x Daughter series that transitions into a Yuji x oc (don't worry i handle the vessel issue)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Star War; Untold Truths - Star Wars

Official summary;

Olds wounds are to be opened and secrets long kept will be washed ashore such is the nature of life. Even more, is the nature of the Sith, they lie and cheat their way to victory most times. Using methods of hatred and anger to get them to where they need to be, always in pares of two, no more no less;

But what if two became three for but a moment in time?

a series that likely has some of my most depraved work in terms of trauma and trigger warnings (like child sexual slavery)

Basically Darth Vader gains an apprentice appointed by the emperor, his own master, himself. so the Sith for a moment in time become greater than three. this story follows that appretince and how both Vader and her help one another through some of the darkest points in their lives.

Darth Vader x Apprentice OC (found family trope baby!!)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Creature Series - Moon Knight

a series of four fics documenting one of Khonshu's best moon knights, a young women named Nem who would eventually become his queen

Khonshu x oc

fic one, Haunted by a Darker Side

Summary; The Gods were never reliable in any sense for Nem. her mother prayed and believed but she never did, she thought it was a waste of time and took matters into her own hands. Unfortunately taking things into your own hands will often get you into much more trouble than it's truly worth.

It was only when Nem really feared for her life that she prayed for the first time, it was only after running from guards with the shiver of the Pharaoh’s last words running through her mind, the moon clear above her as she lay dying in the sand that she truly prayed.

“Oh Lord Khonshu, god of the moon, Protector of the travellers of the night. Please protect my mother and brothers in my absence, watch over them when I could not. I beg of you if you are real please, please do this, I'm sorry I never believed or worshipped. I offer the rest of myself to you if you can do this one thing for me-”

What Nem was not expecting was a response to her prayer;

“Why don’t you protect them yourself? It would be a shame to die on a nice night like this. Allow me to keep you alive Nem of Iken”

She should have known there would be strings attached to that offer…

Fic two, Transcends to Walking in the Light

Summary; Nem would not let Khonshu be turned to stone, so with Anubis’ help, she announced that she was with child, a new god or goddess of the Ennead. Khonshu must live to raise the child, as Nem would not be able to handle it on her own unless they wanted a rouge god on their hands.

Begrudgingly they agree, freeing her God, but this freedom comes at a price.

“You must marry Khonshu, we cannot have a god be born naturally out of wedlock.”

At least it didn’t need to be conceived within wedlock- but these terms are easily agreed to by both parties. Now the next chapter of Nem’s patronage to Khonshu begins,

With her as his Queen.

Fic three, Slowly I'm Recovering

Summary; Most agree that on any given night the moon is beautiful, it always has been and always will be. So why was it that Casper could never face it? Did it have something to do with a past she didn’t want to relive and a personal mission that had yet to be completed? Yes, yes it did. But she is too stubborn to admit that aloud.

So when she gets mixed up with a nice fellow named Steven Grant and his life, her past with the moon god Khonshu comes to a head. And what she's been running from all this time is right in front of her, she just needs to face it with the honour she once had.

Fic four, The Beauty of Discovering (no summary yet)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Did You hear the Golden Records? - Transformers Bayverse

a series of five fics covering all five movies and beyond. An Optimus Prime x oc which (after the third movie) turns into an Optimus Prime x daughter oc.

Fic one; MESSENGER

Summary; Up to this point life has not been kind to Ezra Rhett, but she manages in her own way and actually maybe made some good friends in the form of the Witwicky family. When Sam gets his first car and it apparently steels itself she’s the first person he’s calling, the next day when Giant metal beings show themselves to them all in a back alley and ask Sam to save the world she’s already had enough.

But that pleading look in his eyes has her reluctantly agreeing to go, and very quickly she realizes it would be a cold day in hell if she ever let these kids go through this alone.

Optimus Prime has a similar thought process when he realized how young the humans helping his team were. He is glad that Ezra decided to stay and help her young friends not for herself but for their safety. The Autobot leader also keeps his eyes on them, he doesn’t need any of the humans helping them get hurt along the way.

Though sometimes he finds himself being pulled by the Look in her eyes.

Fic two; Voyager Fic three; Apollo 11 Fic four; Pathfinder Fic Five; Interstellar

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Rust Can be Fatal - Transformers Prime / Undertale Crossover

a two part series where I cross over tfp and Undertale to make something i've been fantasizing about since grade school.

A Megatron x oc which eventually turns into a Megatron x Daughter oc in the second fic.

Fic one, It Had to be You

Summary; Cybertron was a stagnant planet, it had been since the collapse of the space bridges, no, likely since the fall of the thirteen. But it was all about to change, A Gladiator named Megatrounus arose and everything fell into chaos.

Within that chaos, Seadrift chose her side. She had seen firsthand what the upper castes, her castes had done to the lower and it needed to change. When the change that her planet finally went through happened, she changed with it, and Megatron with her. She never expected for it to happen, one day it was adoration and then she realized it was so much more. But she was never going to act on it, lucky for her he acted first.

At the peak of it all, they make a decision for the future, and Seadrift is sent away. A small planet on an outer galaxy that the Decepticons had been storing energon on for some time. What Seadrift didn’t expect was the people and Monsters that called the planet home.

The Monsters welcomed her, she became one of them. And when war engulfed the earth, she took up arms and fought alongside the ones who helped her the most. Seadrift had already lost one planet, one family to war. She’d be dammed if she lost another.

Fic two; The Reason I'm Alive

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

#fanfic list #blog navigation #akira 1988 #ghost in the shell #jttw #lego monkie kid #hellsing ultimate #jujutsu kaisen #star wars #marvel #transformers bayverse #transformers prime #undertale

11 notes · View notes

adiabolikpastel · 1 year

Note

The question you were asked about what a hypothetical battle between Carnelian and the Makai kings would be like got me thinking.

I imagine it could go like this:

Karl and Burai would be in charge of attacking with magic, obviously they both have great knowledge in very, very ancient and dangerous black magic 💀. I like to imagine that the Wolf clan king and Ajax are much better at melee combat, (plus I have a headcanon about how the Wolf clan members are the strongest demons physically).

Carnelian (as far as I know), can use high level magic and is a vampire over five hundred years old, so he's pretty smart and strong, plus he has a cult at his disposal that do whatever he orders them to do, (for example, in the manga his cult members are in charge of kidnapping demons from other clans, so they must also be strong or be demons themselves as well). This battle of kings would also have to be joined by Carla, as everything seems to point to Carnelian being the creator of the endzeit, so Carla especially has every reason to kill Carnelian, even if that means he has to join his enemies Karlheinz and Burai in the battle...

Meanwhile, Alexander, Shuu, Eberto and Alrick would be facing Carnelian's sons, which are in fact chimeras, since Carnelian experimented on them. Based on my knowledge of the Carnelian Blood characters, here the fight would be close but I think the intellect of both Shuu and Alrick could give them a good edge in the battle. Even Lilly could be there as backup 🗡️.

The rest of the Sakamaki brothers, the Mukami brothers, Shin and Kino (along with the Ghouls), could be fighting Carnelian's elite soldiers - "The Crimson Guard" (which by the way, these characters are canon).

Meanwhile Callista and Yui/MC are in a hostage situation, Calli because she is the future wife of the next Vampire King, and Yui because she is "Eve" and that already makes her too special and important.

I hope this isn't too weird, I just wanted to add my thoughts!

Ah! Not weird at all~ I love it!

Honestly, the best ideas and story progressions on my blog come from others helping me along the way. Working out ideas and flushing them out. So, please, I love talking about these kind of things and building a bigger world.

You are 100% on how the kings operate. I think that Karl and Burai are more of the magical and tactical. While Gottfried and Ajax are the muscle tanks. I totally agree with your head cannon that the wolves would be the strongest physically - they, to me, are the more natural fighters - they give into their instincts more.

I do recall that Carnelian was the one who created the endzeit - that does give Carla cause to join in with the other Lords, as a Lord in his own right. Perhaps this would also be a turning point for him - to take up that mantle.

I did not know they were Chimeras!!! What! I just thought they were demon boys. See, I don't know anything. This keeps getting deeper and deeper. If that is the case, Shu, Reiji, Alexander and Alrick might have to put their minds together while the other siblings fight. @the-sloth-woman I can totally see Lilly joining the fight in Alrick's stead. Having to deal with a cult and an army - both of which I am just learning about - they are going to need all the smarties. The other boys and even Meteo and Evangeline would be leading the fights with those - no question.

Yui would for sure be a hostage, but I don't think Callista would. Callista isn't the type to go down easy, so if she was taken - it was because she was with Yui. If she was with Yui, and captured she would be plotting their escape. I can see her and Yui making it out and running into the boys like "We're here to save you" and Calli just being like "Well you took too long."

#ask mun #ask answered #excruciating duplicity #world building

7 notes · View notes

thetudorslovers · 2 years

Text

"As Anne waited for the executioner to strike, she started praying, "O Lord have mercy on me, to God I commend my soul. To Jesus Christ I commend my soul; Lord Jesu receive my soul. "As Anne prayed, the executioner called out to his assistant to pass him his sword. As Anne moved her head to follow what the assistant was doing, the executioner came up unnoticed behind her and beheaded her with one stroke of his sword. It was over.

As the shocked crowd dispersed, Anne's ladies, who were described as "bereft of their souls, such was their weakness", wrapped her head and body in white cloth and took them to the Chapel of St Peter ad Vincula for burial. No casket had been provided, so a yeoman warder fetched an old elm chest which had once contained bow staves from the Tower armoury. Anne Boleyn, Queen of England and mother of Elizabeth I, was then buried as a traitor in an unmarked grave. The Tower cannons fired to tell London that its Queen was dead.

Scottish theologian Alexander Alesius had woken up in the early hours of 19th May from a nightmare about the Queen's severed neck in which he "could count the nerves, the veins, and the arteries". He went to visit his friend Archbishop Cranmer in his garden at Lambeth. Alesius was unaware of Anne's imminent execution, having remained at home since the day of Anne's imprisonment, but as he told the Archbishop of his dream, Cranmer "raised his eyes to heaven and said, 'She who has been the Queen of England upon earth will today become a Queen in heaven.' So great was his grief that he could say nothing more, and then he burst into tears." The Archbishop who owed his rise to the patronage of the Queen and her family was a broken man, and perhaps he felt some guilt for his part in recent events. It is hard to imagine how he would have felt on hearing the cannons ring out over London, announcing the Queen's death. Queen Anne Boleyn was gone, gone to a better place."

Source: "The Fall of Anne Boleyn: A Countdown", Claire Ridgway, MadeGlobal Publishing, UK, April 2012.

165 notes · View notes

scotianostra · 5 years

Photo

On February 22nd 1452 King James II killed William Douglas at Stirling.

James became king in 1437 after the murder of his father. His minority years saw much bloodshed as rival factions vied to control Scotland through controlling the young king. His reign would be characterised by his fiery temperament and his struggle to break the power of a leading clan and assert his own control over Scotland.

Immediately after the death of his father, James' mother, Queen Joan, organised the murder of the rival branch of the Stewart clan who had murdered her husband. The violence that marked the start of his reign did not stop there, however.

In 1440 the two main factions fighting for control of the boy king turned to slaughter. William Crichton and Alexander Livingston arranged a meeting with their rivals, the powerful Douglases, at Edinburgh Castle. With the young king present, Crichton and Livingston murdered the 6th Earl of Douglas and his younger brother in a notorious evening that would become known as the Black Dinner.

Despite the murders, the Douglases came to dominate the Scottish court, filling the major offices and posts of government with their family and supporters. When James finally assumed the role of governing Scotland by himself in 1449 he found that the Douglas clan had a stranglehold on power that they would not give up lightly.

James spent much of his reign attempting to break the Douglases. Typically for his reign, this involved murder in an evening that would echo the Black Dinner some nine years earlier.In 1452 James invited William Douglas, 8th Earl of Douglas, to dine with him at Stirling Castle. Hot-headed and suspicious, James accused Douglas of forming a treacherous bond with John MacDonald, Earl of Ross and Lord of the Isles, and the Earl of Crawford. A secret pact between the most powerful clans in the country was a serious threat to James' kingship and had to be dealt with. A pitched argument with Douglas ensued and in the anger and emotion of the moment, James stabbed Douglas. The young Earl was finished off by James' courtiers in savage fashion – one allegedly bashing the Earl's brains out with an axe.

An intermittent war broke out between James and the Douglases. Douglas lands were seized then returned, titles removed then restored. James was in danger of looking weak. Weakness in the Scottish court often led to assassination. James needed a decisive victory over the Douglases.

He got that in 1455. At the Battle of Arkinholm James' forces defeated the Douglas clan army. The defeated Douglases fled to England and their power and stranglehold one Scottish political affairs was broken.

James only had five years to enjoy the liberation that the elimination of Douglases afforded him. During 1460, James had being laying siege to Roxburgh Castle which was still in the hands of the English. A passionate advocate of artillery, James intended to fire a salute in honour of his queen, he was attempting to fire a cannon, known as "the Lion", when it exploded and killed him.

#Scotland #scottish #monarchy #royalty #assasination #The Stewarts #History

18 notes · View notes

thebibliomancer · 4 years

Text

Essential Avengers: Avengers #208: Eve of Destruction!

June, 1981

“From eons past comes the world’s most savage warrior... THE BERSERKER LIVES AGAIN!”

So this is the Berserker!

Hm. He looks somewhat less impressive as some Roman looking dude as opposed to a shambling vaguely human shape of rock and undying fury.

But I’ll give him a chance to impress in the actual book.

So last time: Wonder Man was working on a cowboy movie, badly, when he got the Avengers call that it was Avengers time. A new island had appeared in the middle of the Mediterranean and the only inhabitant, the Shadow Lord, made the US navy look like fool chumps. The Shadow Lord captured Wonder Man’s publicist Rachel Palmer and explained his whole backstory to her.

That his people the Earth Lords moved to an island, mastered the four elements, and became very concerned with an immortal Berserker so hit him in the face with a volcano. But since it was a dick move to wipe out several towns to get one guy, the Earth Lords disbanded except for Shadow Lord who had to stand watch for two thousand years in case the Berserker came back. And then the Berserker came back.

Instead of fighting the Berserker, Shadow Lord ends up fighting the Avengers a lot and then they beat up his city and then he dies. He wasted his entire life but he feels pretty okay with leaving his responsibilities to them.

This time: world’s oldest man causes problems on purpose.

He’s spry though.

And apparently between issues he chipped off all the rock, found a shield and spear, and also murdered an entire regiment. He’s been very productive between issues.

But he’s got more murder to do because he’s got to show off his sick skills before the Avengers show up so that its more impressive when they survive his sick skills, unlike all these poor dead Italian army people.

So he’s being attack by tanks and planes. And that just makes him scoff at the cowards attacking him with projectiles. Scoff in English.

I don’t know how he knows modern English. The Shadow Lord explicitly learned English out of Rachel Palmer’s brain to explain how he could speak it and then next issue, a guy that’s been buried under rock for two thousand years just pops out speaking English.

If both of them had spoken English with no explanation, I wouldn’t have even noticed. Comics be like that. Aliens speak English.

Anyway, his shield has an aura that turns metal to dust before it even strikes it. So he blocks a cannon shell without much fuss. And the plane on a strafing run gets his spear, which flies up and slices it in two. And then he pulls out what he calls a Cerellian power-sword and swings it, releasing a searing beam of energy which rips open the ground a hundred yards away to bury some tanks.

So he was buried in lava while carrying some sweet gear, apparently.

And it is very sweet gear. But the man himself was described as dangerous and dammit I don’t see it yet.

We pivot sharply over to the Avengers on Shadow Lord Island where the Shadow Lord again tells the Avengers to carry on his mission and gives Rachel his necklace before dying again.

And then, because Rachel got the exposition last time but no main characters did, she recaps his deal. Including the part that the Avengers already know, like how they beat him.

This is some clunky exposition but I’m the one who always complains when comics don’t establish enough context for me when I’m picking up random issues in the middle of a story.

Captain America asks Rachel, since she’s the new expositor, who the Berserker is but she decides that can wait. Its much more important to hold a funeral for the Shadow Lord.

And perhaps its the mistimed insistence on due to the dead when they can bury an ancient Avatar after stopping an ostensible threat to the world that explains why the Avengers give the funeral their full passive-aggressive 110%.

So on an island that’s soon to collapse into the sea, Wonder Man finds a rock to use as a headstone, Iron Man digs a grave with his repulsors, Vision carves several slabs of rock, Jocasta fuses them into a coffin, Beast carries the coffin over to the dead Shadow Lord, Captain America puts him in the box, Wasp carves an inscription on the headstone, and Scarlet Witch uses her power to change the probability that the grave won’t fill itself in. Which I find the most passive-aggressive move of all, for some reason.

And then the Avengers all gather around and bid farewell to a man that they accidentally killed.

Only after they’ve done all this does Rachel decide to tell them-

Nope.

After all of that, she says “I could tell you but it will be much clearer if you see it for yourselves... in the pool of memories.”

Ffs, Rachel.

So she takes them to the pool of memories, which was apparently something Shadow Lord showed her how to use off-panel.

Geez, the best stuff keeps happening off-panel.

And luckily, when the Avengers leveled the city, they didn’t quite manage to break the pool of memories. Which isn’t a pool. Its a fancy bowl of water.

There’s no reason why it couldn’t have been a pool, artist Gene Colan.

Or: once it was drawn as a bowl why didn’t you change it to something accurate but still with a cool sounding name? Vessel of Memories. Or Font of Memories. Bam, its a bowl with water in it, intrigue!

Anyway, Rachel dips a finger into the memory water which is definitely not pensieve because it predates it by nearly twenty years. This causes a flashback to queue up in the water and for it to start monologuing directly into the Avengers’ heads.

“What follows was culled from the memories of the Berserker himself. Listen carefully. The fate of the world may depend on it.”

So. Wait.

I know its called the Pool of Memories and I know that the Earth Lords were magic enough to remotely erupt a mountain. But does the Pool of Memories contain all memories in the world? Because that’s fairly impressive and just a bit creepy! Or does it just contain the Berserker’s memories since the Earth Lords were stalking him a little bit? How did they get the memories? Its going to turn out that the memories in the Pool of Memories way predate the Earth Lords so how the heck does this all work??

Come back to life, Shadow Lord, and explain your Font of Exposition!

Anyway.

SO! The Berserker goes back to prehistoric cave man times.

He was the sole survivor of a war party against another tribe and he had to run from them and was cornered near the “Cave of Glowing Walls.” Which is a cave. Which had glowing walls.

None who entered had ever returned but between the being beaten to death by clubs that you know and the death you don’t, Pre-Berserker picked the unknown.

“His pursuers laughed at his folly as he went into the cave. Inside, he saw the walls themselves emitting a horrible, unearthly light -- and the reamins of all those who had preceded him.”

“Within moments he too was felled by the lethal glow. He felt the life draining from him. But he did not die there. He was different from the others. Slowly, tortuously, he crawled to safety.”

“His nearly lifeless body tumbled down the rocky slope outside the cave... only to arise hours later, now surging with incredible power -- power bestowed upon him inside the cave of glowing walls!"

Okay. So. At this point I have to ask.

Is this just Vandal Savage? Is this one of those serial number filed off things so the Avengers can fight Vandal Savage?

Anyway, Pre-Berserker brushed himself up, marched right back to that enemy tribe, and killed the entire thing. For the cave also filled him with an unquenchable fury.

An unquenchable, undying fury.

Because he stopped aging.

And because he was always being extremely pissed and killing, people started calling him the Berserker.

And one day, much, much later, he was doing his favorite activity of killing in the city of Sumer when he caught the eye of a nobleman who thought to offer him money for him to kill specific people.

This turned the Berserker’s life around. It had never occurred to him that killing people was a career.

From that point on, he had direction to his life. He wandered the world as a mercenary and apparently was there and shaped history.

He helped set up the dynasties of the pharaohs. Helped with Alexander the Great’s conquests. But it gets even more bonkers.

His reputation became so great that actual factual aliens from another world showed up to hire him.

“At first he cringed in superstitious fear before these alien creatures... But once in battle he discovered that he enjoyed killing foes there as much as back on Earth... a feeling that would be oft-repeated as his exploits took him to scores of other worlds. The destinies of empires -- of entire planetary systems were decided by who hired him first.”

Been there, shaped history. IN SPAAAAAAAAACE.

And his space jobs paid him in sweet gear. And now we know where he got his sweet gear.

What I don’t understand is why he went back to Earth at all?

Yes, he probably could have conquered the Earth with all his sweet space gear. Maybe probably. Marvel’s kitchen sink goes back a long way. Turns out there was a Ghost Rider who ghost rode a flaming mammoth.

But either way, the guy didn’t have the ambition to do that. He was perfectly happy as long as someone paid him to murder people. Preferably in sweet gear that helped him more efficiently murder people.

He comes back to Earth and joins the Roman legions but why? He got to travel planet to planet to different battlefields and shape empires that spanned star systems. Shouldn’t Earth feel kind of small after that?

But he has to be on Earth and joining the Roman legions otherwise how could the Earth Lords get wind of him and scheme to hit him in the face with a volcano.

That was established last time so now we need him to reach that point. Even though the newly established intermediate points make that endpoint suddenly weird.

But it be like that sometimes.

The Font of Exposition runs out of backstory just as the city runs out of ‘still existing.’

So the Avengers and Rachel rush into the Quinjet and fly away just as the city falls apart into the sea.

Gosh, I’m sure glad we spent time doing an elaborate funeral for Shadow Lord when his grave is now spilling into the ocean.

Rachel gets frustrated that all the evidence for this scoop that she rushed into danger for just sank and that she’s going to be a publicist for bad movies forever.

Simon “Wonder” Williams counters with ‘hey at least you’ll still have a job’ considering he bailed on filming to go do superhero stuff.

And indeed we see Merriwether T. Fenniwell, telegram man, delivering a telegram to Avengers Mansion.

“Mr. Williams.

Due to unexplained absence from set of Guns of the Gunman you have been replaced. Find yourself another job and another agent.

Sid Sterling

Star-Maker”

Your mistake there was not telling anyone you were going and why, Simon. You possibly would have been fired anyway. But you only have yourself to blame for not even making an attempt. Geez.

Anyway, don’t feel too bad for Simon. Back on the Quinjet he’s apologizing for being rude to Rachel on the set, saying he was just frustrated with his own lousy acting.

And Rachel slips her hotel key into his pocket and tells him to make it up to her by coming by for dinner.

The original plan was to drop Rachel off at the film set before going to look for the Berserker but whoops, they find him first.

“The Avengers gaze in awe at the scene of carnage and devastation below them -- a scene reminiscent of war or natural disaster. But this bloody tableau was crafted by no clash of armies nor by earthquake or flood. It was created by... the Beserker!”

When they find him he seems to be digging a hole in the ground with his super space spear.

Logically, Beast and Iron Man knock him into the hole.

That’s the smart move, right?

No.

The Berserker had been digging up a space chariot pulled by space robot horses. And I like to think that the Avengers knocked him right into it.

I do wonder about how the chariot ended up buried and how the Berserker found it so quick. I’m not worried about how it still functions perfectly after two thousand years. It be like that in comics.

Anyway, the space chariot has more to recommend it than just not having to feed or maintain it for two thousand years. Its also got a demon mouth carved in the back that leaves a trail of fire as the chariot flies. Yeah, also its a flying chariot.

And its not mundane hot fire. Its force field space cold fire. Uh, so basically think the tron light cycle walls.

Because the Berserker flies circles around the Avengers to enclose them in a cage of non-burning fire.

The fire does still consume oxygen and apparently the fire cage is air tight so its going to burn up all the oxygen inside and asphyxiate the Avengers.

Well, Vision and Jocasta will be fine. Oh, and Iron Man. He has his own built-in respiration system. But the rest will die and that’s a bummer.

THANKFULLY IRON MAN IS WONDERFULLY AND BIZARRELY PREPARED FOR THIS EXACT SCENARIO.

If this specific ability ever comes up again, I’m going to lose my shit because its so specifically tailored to this plot. I love Iron Man’s ridiculous swiss-army armor sometimes.

So you know his shoulders? Those things on top of his arms? Kind of a raised area on his armor?

Those are apparently epaulets and they’re ‘break shoulder in case of asphyxiation emergency.’ He rips them right off to pull out two emergency oxygen cylinders.

The idea is that the breathing Avengers will pass the two cylinders around judiciously and hopefully they’ll last long enough between everyone that the fire cage will burn itself out.

Which does happen. Good job, Iron Man.

Meanwhile, Berserker has scooped up Rachel because “this woman is but a reward that is a great warrior’s due.” Yeah, he’s that kind of immortal guy from prehistoric times. And also he’s been under rock for two thousand years.

Rachel protests being damseled, which honestly two times in as many issues isn’t great, but Berserker is like ‘hush i’m working’ and then he blows up St. Giovanna’s Cathedral, just because he can. And then he blows up a town, off-panel, to reveal a secret city that Caesar built to honor him.

Geez. How much stuff does he have buried around here?

The Berserker lands his space chariot and decides that two thousand year is a long enough vacation so he needs to get back to his work because if you love what you do, truly you’ll never work a day in your immortality.

Berserker: “The instruments of war may change over the centuries, but the nature of man never does! I shall easily sell my services -- as always -- the the highest bidders. Then will the land be once again awash with the blood of millions that will fall under my sword... and once again the planet -- nay the entire universe -- will know and fear the greatest warrior that ever lived!”

Like I said, he loves what he does. And is probably the best at what he does and it ain’t pretty?

He also tells Rachel to go inside this building that's been buried underground for two thousand years and put on some proper raiment.

I gave the space chariot a pass. It’s from space. But Rachel finds and puts on a dress that should have decayed a very long time ago. Is it a space dress? Its probably a space dress.

But the space dress decolletage prompts the Berserker to notice and recognize the necklace Shadow Lord gave Rachel.

When Rachel tells him how she came about them, Berserker is like ‘lol eat shit the Earth Lords, mine now’ and steals the necklace from Rachel to wear for himself.

And then the Avengers show up for some more action sequences.

Or, lets be honest, more chances for the Berserker to show off his sweet space gear.

He blows up the ground beneath the Avengers’ feet with his power sword, sending several tumbling into the Earth.

When Iron Man rays him with a repulsor, the Berserker smirkingly no-sells it, informing Iron Man that his fancy armor is actually fancy space armor.

Berserker: “Ha! The tyrants of Aturak IV built this armor to withstand a proton cannon. ... Surely it can handle the bite of a mosquito!”

Geez, not just repulsors, he’s also proofed against Iron Man’s mightiest weapon?

And then he follows it up by throwing a dagger at Vision. Vision scoffs that he’ll just go intangible and let the blade pass through. But, of course, its a space dagger, from the Arkossian system.

It sticks in intangible Vision and starts draining his energy.

For not knowing anything about the Avengers, he’s doing a good job at making them all look like chumps, with sweet space gear that seems selected to thwart them.

And that’s part of writing a credible threat, I suppose. Having said threat able to pose a decent challenge. But playground style ‘I do this’ ‘Nuh uh, my guy is immune’ doesn’t always make enthralling fight scene.

Anyway, speaking of selectively thwarted, Iron Man finds himself magnetized to Berserker’s shield. And whatever metal approaches Berserker’s shield must yield.

It has that metal disintegrating aura and apparently magnets.

Iron Man manages to pull away somehow, but the shield short-circuits one of his power pods (those roundy things on his hips) which knocks the armored Avenger unconscious.

And then! To add insult to injury! Berserker’s shield magnetically steals from his pocket the hotel key Rachel gave Wonder Man and disintegrates it. Guess Wonder Man isn’t getting lucky tonight.

But he is having an idea. One of those epiphany ideas where an unrelated but thematically similar or adjacent happenstance or utterance makes you figure out the whole thing.

A key happening reminds him of how the Shadow Lord could unlock a Shadow World and would not that imply a key?

So while Wasp does Berserker the first injury this whole fight by zapping him in the face (and then getting swatted, alas) Wonder Man grabs for the necklace Berserker took from Rachel.

Wonder Man tries to figure out how the pyramidal amulets on the necklace fit together but gets sword smacked by Berserker who doesn’t appreciate someone tugging on his new bling.

But the Avengers pull off some good teamwork combo attack.

Wanda uses her powers to make the probability that some columns will fall over be 100%. Captain America throws his mighty shield and the Berserker yields right into the path of the falling column. And Jocasta melts the falling column to try to cover him in molten rock, which is the one thing they know works.

But I suppose that a mere falling melting column doesn’t compare to an entire volcano or maybe he spent those 2,000 years thinking of exactly what to do in this situation. Because Berserker swings his sword above his head, diverting the molten rock away from him.

And then Berserker drags Jocasta into his metal disintegrating shield for trying to give him a hot shower.

He’s apparently familiar with or at least not too surprised at the concept of robots. He’s been to space, after all.

He also decides that rather than hold her against the shield until she completely disintegrates, that he’ll dunk her in the molten rock she had tried to use on him.

Beast finally climbs out of the hole that I assume he’s been in this whole time and tries to tackle Berserker but the guy just slams Beast into Scarlet Witch.

And now its just Captain America vs Berserker. Which of course means that Captain America is going to make a Thing of it.

Captain America: “Alright mister -- it’s just you and me now. And so long as one Avenger stands -- we’re not defeated.”

He kicks the energy space power sword out of Berserker’s grasp to Berserker’s surprise but Cap notes to himself that doing so sent a shock from the sword through his boot. Guess his soles aren’t rubber.

And since Cap got to say a cool thing, so does Berserker. Although substitute ‘cool’ for ‘kinda hurtful.’

Berserker: “Bah! A weapon is only need to battle a true warrior -- you are certainly less than that!”

And then Berserker slams his shield into Cap’s head, knocking him out. How ironic. He who lived by the shield was knocked out by the shield. Really makes you think.

Now all the Avengers lie sprawled unconscious at Berserker’s feet. And now that they’re unconscious, he can actually walk back some of the smack talk.

Berserker: “In truth, they were fine warriors but even they were nothing next to my power!”

I had been wondering. I wouldn’t think that he’d have fought many people like the Avengers in the past times. Maybe IN SPACE. You got the Kree and the Shi’ar up there.

Anyway, when I said that all the Avengers lie sprawled unconscious, I spoke in error.

Wasp was only stunned and now she’s been overlooked what with all the full-sized people lying about.

Her strategy now that she’s alone on the battlefield with the guy is... she flies up to him and zaps him in the face.

You did that last time, Wasp! And like last time, he just whaps you out of the air! With his hand this time, not a space energy power sword. But then he decides to step on you, deciding that she’ll be the first of the Avengers to die.

Yeah, he doesn’t seem much for the ‘they were honorable foes, I’ll let them go so I can fight them again.’

However, now Wonder Man is up and he rushes Berserker to grab at the necklace again.

Berserker unveils one more sweet space gear. He grabs Wonder Man’s wrists and uses his gauntlets to sap his strength. So even though Wonder Man has super strength (that whole thing about how he punches as hard as Thor’s hammer hits), he’s getting weaker and Berserker is getting stronger.

But in a very comic booky way, he summons up all his remaining strength for one last effort.

Wonder Man breaks Berserker’s grip and grabs the necklace. This time he manages to make the pyramid go into the other pyramid, pulling the wearer -- Berserker -- into the Shadow World.

Wasp recovers one more time and since she half knows whats going on, decides to make it so that the trip is one way.

She blasts the necklace, shattering the pyramids so that it can’t be used again.

Berserker: “I’m disappearing... this cannot be... the Berserker cannot be beaten...”

And then he’s gone. Never to darken Earth’s doorstep again. Trapped forever alone in an empty the shadow realm.

Yeah, this was his only appearance. Kind of a shame. I don’t think he’s a unique villain but he was fun. Being a long-ago sealed evil that doesn’t even really want to take over the world, just get paid, gets bonus points from me. Its less generic, anyway. Plus, he had an absurd arsenal and his limited ambition means he’d have been great muscle for another villain.

Not sure I buy him as a threat to the whole world but he’ll do a lot of damage on the way.

Both him and the Shadow Lord were almost too interesting to be one and dones.

Anyway. I can’t get over what Wasp says when Wonder Man congratulates her for figuring out his plan to trap the Berserker.

Wasp: “I’m glad I helped... but I’ll never forgive myself for destroying such a beautiful piece of jewelry.”

Sure, Jan.

Anyway, when the rest of the Avengers wake up, Wonder Man explains it all. How he figured out that the necklace was a key from what the Shadow Lord said when he gave it to Rachel and that the Shadow Lord entered the dimension at sunrise so logically the gate could only be reopened at sunset (???? how did he figure this out? And also what? And why?).

Since he apparently had to run out the clock, he used his unholy ... ACTING TALENT to take a dive when Berserker clocked him and then pretended to be knocked out while the rest of the team got the shit beaten out of them and almost died. “Luckily for us all, it worked.”

Wonder Man: “Too bad Mr. Bertolini wasn’t here to see it. It was the best acting I ever did!”

Rachel: “You sure had me fooled, Simon. Maybe there’s hope for you yet.”

Oh. So. I guess the scene at the movie set was to set up this... character arc? For Wonder Man. That he’d learn to do an acting and use it to resolve the conflict.

The dramatic irony though is that his ass is fired off that movie for leaving to go on this journey of self-discovery slash fighting some ancient dudes.

Oof.

Follow @essential-avengers if you think acting is just as important as lasers in being a superhero. Or for other reasons. I’m not picky. Like, reblog, comment. These are also actions. That are important to being a superhero. Maybe.

#Avengers #essential avengers #Wonder Man #Wasp #the Berserker #Jocasta #Iron Man #essential marvel liveblogging #Captain America #Scarlet Witch #the Vision #Beast #what a servicable two parter this was

5 notes · View notes

militant-holy-knight · 4 years

Photo

John Hunyadi, the White Knight of Wallachia, was born in the year 1407. He was a mighty Catholic warrior who led the forces of the Kingdom of Hungary to halt the advances of the Ottoman Empire into Christendom. A military genius, his entire life was spent in this noble cause. He is one of the great Defenders of Christendom.

The king of Hungary recognized Hunyadi’s exceptional military abilities while he was still quite young, and wisely made him a trusted advisor and the field commander of his armies. Hunyadi quickly rewarded King Sigismund’s confidence in him by demonstrating his complete mastery of military strategy at the expense of the invading Ottoman army of Ishak Bey, which he defeated in battle at Semendria. When another huge Ottoman army invaded Transylvania the following year, Hunyadi, with only a small force, decimated the immense host and put them to flight.

The Ottoman Empire, with a better appreciation of their adversary, put together an even larger and more powerful force to invade Hungary in the year 1442. With 80,000 of their finest warriors, including thousands of Janissaries, they were dispatched with the intention of punishing the Hungarians for their previous defeats.

Hunyadi met them at a place called the Iron Gates with only 15,000 men. Upon seeing the diminutive size of Hunyadi’s army, the Ottoman commander, Sehabbedin, arrogantly expected to easily sweep them from the field. Instead, Hunyadi, with incredible skill, repeatedly maneuvered his forces into advantageous positions to overwhelm the ineffective forces of the disbelieving Ottoman commander. The expedition meant to humble Hunyadi instead made of him a hero celebrated throughout all of Christendom.

Hunyadi followed up his remarkable victories with an expedition of his own that has come to be known as the “Long Campaign.” Marching at the head of his vanguard, Hunyadi boldly passed through the Gate of Trajan to enter recently conquered Muslim territories in the Balkans. He was soon challenged by an Ottoman army near the town of Nish. There he confronted a distinguished general and invincible warrior who, because of his proven ability, had come to be known as Iskander, Lord Alexander. This name was given him by the sultan himself, honoring the commander by comparing him favorably to the Macedonian conqueror Alexander the Great. Hunyadi would soon come to know how deserving Iskander was of the honor.

As it turned out, Iskander had never truly accepted Islam and was planning on joining the advancing Catholic army. When the battle began, Iskander switched sides with three hundred Albanians who had been forced to serve the Turks, fighting side by side with Hunyadi. Turning their swords against their Islamic oppressors, they easily defeated the Muslim army and took back the city of Nish. Further successes followed after Nish during the Long Campaign, as Hunyadi triumphed in Bosnia, Herzegovina, Serbia, and Bulgaria before winter forced him to return home.

Iskander was asked to join a papal alliance which included Hungarian, Bulgarian, and Polish forces, together with Teutonic Knights, in a new Crusade against the Turks. They marched overland to Varna, bypassing Ottoman strongholds, where they expected to meet the Papal fleet and sail on to Constantinople. These 25,000 men, under Hunyadi’s capable leadership, might actually have been sufficient to drive the Turks out of Europe.

Sadly, it was not to be. The plan was completely thwarted by base treachery, as a traitor among the Christians advised the Ottoman sultan of the advance of the Christian army. In a further despicable act of betrayal, the Venetian galleys that had been sent on ahead in order to prevent the sultan from crossing back into Europe, instead offered the use of their ships to the Ottoman sultan. They received one gold piece in payment for every Turkish soldier they transported back across the Bosporus. The sultan’s army of 100,000 men then traveled toward Varna to await the coming of the unsuspecting Christians. In a separate and final act of treachery, Iskander was prevented from joining the Christian army through a deceitful ruse perpetrated against him by the king of Serbia, who was hoping to gain the sultan’s favor. None of these men seemed to be aware that the defeat of this army and the death of these Christian warriors would be to their eternal shame, and something for which they would someday have to answer personally to God.

The Christian army learned they had been betrayed at a point when they were trapped between the enemy and the Black Sea. Some of the men called for a retreat, even though that wasn’t feasible. Others wanted to take up a defensive position. Hunyadi called for action. “To escape is impossible, to surrender is unthinkable. Let us fight with bravery and honor our arms.”

The battle began as the Christian left wing repelled the attack directed against them, and then chased the retreating Ottoman forces from the field. The Christian right wing was overcome, however, and also retreated, many of them cut down as they fled. The enemy were stopped temporarily by reinforcements, and Hunyadi told 20 year old King Wladyslaw to wait upon his return with 500 of his Polish knights. The outcome of the battle was still in the balance when King Wladyslaw disregarded Hunyadi’s advice and attempted a direct assault with his knights against the sultan and his bodyguards, the dreaded Janissaries. The king fell, and was slain by a Janissary, who cut off his head to display it on a pole to the Christian host.

Discouraged and defeated, the remnants of the Christian army rallied around Hunyadi, who was somehow able to orchestrate the retreat of the army. Thousands died in battle, and many others who surrendered were slaughtered at the sultan’s command, although a few were captured and sold as slaves. The sense of optimism felt throughout Christendom was immediately swept away with the terrible defeat. The shame of it all is that it did not have to be, as it is almost certain that the outcome of battle would have been reversed only if Iskander had been present.

The following years were full of conflict and difficult trials for Hunyadi, even though heaven had provided him with a powerful ally in Iskander. After this defeat at Varna, it appeared that the Ottoman Empire had grudgingly granted Hungary a period of peace. In actuality, Mehmet II was only reluctantly conceding a cessation to the Hungarian conflict in order to concentrate his efforts on other objectives.

In the year 1453 all of Christendom was stunned to learn of the fall of Constantinople to Mehmet the Conqueror, great-grandson of Bayezid. The Byzantine Empire, which had survived for over 1,000 years keeping at bay all of the nomadic tribes of Asia, was a bulwark which was now suddenly gone. Emperor Constantine had died fighting, thousands had been slain, and tens of thousands more were sold into slavery.

The Muslim conquest of Constantinople was a remarkable achievement that proved the power of the Ottoman Empire. The great and ancient city, once the seat of the Roman Empire, became the new seat of Ottoman government. Entering the city in triumph, Mehmet saw himself as the successor to the Caesars, and ordered that a splendid palace be built there for his private residence where he would live from that time on.

The Christian kingdoms that bordered the Ottoman Empire suddenly realized that they were now vulnerable to further Turkish aggression. Iskander and the Albanians, as well as Hunyadi and the Hungarian people, prepared for the impending assault they knew would soon come.

In 1456 Mehmet II attacked Hunyadi at Belgrade with an army of 160,000 men. Hunyadi was on his own with only 4,000 soldiers to resist this huge army, but due to the preaching of St John Capistrano, perhaps as many as 30,000 men, mostly peasants, flocked to Hunyadi’s banner. Most armed only with farming implements, and having no military training, they were eager enough, though seemingly ill-matched to go up against the Ottoman infantry.

Heavy cannon fire had demolished the formidable walls of Belgrade in several places when the Turks finally entered the city in force. The desperate fighting flowed from street to street, but despite their superior numbers, the Janissaries were outdone by the incredibly fierce determination of St. John Capistrano and his devoted followers. Not satisfied with merely holding their city, the Christian’s trailed behind St. John through the open breaches as he held the crucifix aloft. Taking the fight to the Turks, the Christians put them to flight, while the sultan himself was wounded and carried from the battle.

The siege of Belgrade was perhaps Hunyadi’s greatest victory, though he didn’t long outlive it. A few days after the battle, having accomplished many great deeds to preserve Christendom, Hunyadi took ill and died. Mehmet II gave praise to Hunyadi upon learning of his passing, saying, “Although he was my enemy I feel grief over his death, because the world has never seen such a man.” Pope Callixtus III lamented, “The light of the world has passed away.” They were fitting tributes to the White Knight, whose efforts had helped save Christendom.

#knights #Christianity #catholicism

6 notes · View notes

tubbinary · 5 years

Text

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada. ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You are about to get spammed with 600 dank memes. Prepare all nukes and weapons for the Great Spam War. If you can contain the amount of spam I have, you will be granted with special powers that allow you to smoke weed 200 times harder. Not only that, but you will have a laggy as fuck laptop. You know how lucky you are?????? My laptop runs at 669FPS and it never lags or is slow. YOU LUCKY SON OF A GUN. You will pay the price by me giving you a link (Which shall contain a download) which will wipe all your memory off the face of this universe and overwrite it with my own software, Memesoftlocker2.0000.0. You are so damn lucky you know that? NOT EVEN I HAVE IT SLUT. But if you were able to read up to this point congratulations, you suck. But click this link www.mymom.;;;;;;/eeeeeeee.crash; and you will be taken to a memory erase phrase. You lucky slut, but you will get the best computer software ever that makes your computer lag so bad that you can't even use it. LIKE HOW AMAZING??? Yes, I promise you this is 420% legit. But if you spread this abusive software you have EARNED I will suck you off this living universe so be careful buddy. Now, Please stop reading this message as it ends now...

Excuse me? I find vaping to be one of the best things in my life. It has carried me through the toughest of times and brought light and vapor upon my spirit. You're just another one of those people who doesn't believe in chem trails and fluoride turning us gay. Your ignorance to the government is what makes you a sheep in today's society. Have fun being a slave to todays's system.

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯. ✋that✋is✋six✋fucking✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the pussy🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌fucker👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should kys🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

[email protected]

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ　ＲＴＺ，　Ｉ’Ｍ　ＴＲＹＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＲＮ　ＴＯ　ＰＬＡＹ　ＲＩＫＩ．　Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＨＡＶＥ　Ａ　ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＳＫＩＬＬ　ＢＵＩＬＤ：　ＳＨＯＵＬＤ　Ｉ　ＭＡＸ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ　ＥＧ，　ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ　ＳＯ　ＴＨＥＹ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＭＥ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＥＧ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＹＯＵ　７０％　ＯＦ　ＴＨＥ　ＴＩＭＥ，　ＯＲ　ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ　ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ　ＳＯ　Ｉ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄

░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌

░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█

░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌

░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄

░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄

░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄

░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄

░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐██████████████▄

░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄████████████████▄

░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail.

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧＯＲＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ

█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ

༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

(/ﾟДﾟ)/ WE WANT SPELUNKY (/ﾟДﾟ)/

─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ POINT ME TO THE DONGERS (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ArcheAge or BEES ヽ̛͟͢༼͝ຈ͢͠لຈ҉̛༽̨҉҉ﾉ̨

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ MRGLRLRLR ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉITS A HARD DONG LIFE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉMOLLYヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ GIVE MOLLY ༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ

†ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† By the power of donger I summon MOLLY †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ†

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTAKING A DUMPヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ WHAT DOESNT KILL ME ONLY MAKES ME DONGER ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ FOREVER DONG ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Mo' money, mo' Dongers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Drop Bows on 'em ༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ HIT IT WITH THE FORK Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ

Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ hit it with the fork Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ. * ・｡ﾟ Copypastus Totalus!!

ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ɪᴛs ʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy

Fuck a hater , hit a snitch , your my girl 👭 , my 5 star bitch , i love you more than any dick 💕💯, && if i dont get this back 🕙 , you aint worth shit !! Send this to 8 girls you care about .. 💯 I love you , I love you forever !! 💯 Whoever stops this will suffer for 83 days !! 💯💯💯 Ready, set, GO !!!! in

Stahp. 👋 🏻 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌ 🏼👌🏼💯

! ! ! ATTENTION 2003 KIDS ! ! ! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦O_O PERIODS ☹🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔☹ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️⃣TH GRADE)

#this took a lot of effort wow #copypastas #swastika tw #submission

12 notes · View notes

sveasauvageon · 4 years

Photo

Tbf

☾♔; March 23, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: idk ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN FU.CKING OLIVER* ☾♔; GW NPC Audition ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @.themadmonarchist @.maybones et moi

// character originally created by @lady-stoneheart, using with permission //

**some stuff literally copy and pasted from this set: https://goo.gl/xGBi3L also by @.lady-stoneheart**

Also, also, filled out the main character form instead of the npc one for Henry, since he's an important character (no, wait, that's too mean, you're important too Vova and Nika and Mooms-Mooms. I mean Vig)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Henry William Clark , (17) ⠀⠀⠀It never was an option ⠀⠀⠀For me to not go there, ⠀⠀⠀I'm frightened of the ocean ⠀⠀⠀But still I'm setting sails. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-⠀Fade Away by Måns Zelmerlöw

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ THE BASICS

Nickname: Hank (by Syn), älskling and pretty boy (by Svea), lover boy (gossip witch), bane of my existence (by Xander) Gender: cis-male Date of Birth: January 15 Place of Birth: London, England Nationality: British Ethnicity: caucasian (anglo-saxon descent) Accent: upper-class london (posh af) Blood Status: half-blood

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Ben Barnes Hair: short, but majestic, dark brown in colour Eyes: brown Height: 1.85m Weight: idk Body: athletic and lean Any Scars/ Marks?: numerous nicks and scrapes from years of Quidditch Any Tattoos/ Piercings?: none Quirks/ Mannerisms: Style: preppy, generally well-dressed and expensive Additional Information:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PERSONALITY:

Head cannon: Theme Song: Strengths: Weaknesses: Habits: Skills/ Talents: Any mental health issues: Favorite Quotes/ Sayings that your character would use: Additional Information:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ BIOGRAPHY

Likes: muggle fiction books (specifically the asoiaf series), tea, the sea, quidditch, Puddlemere United, football (or as north american's and japan call it, soccer), Arsenal FC, history (muggle and magical)

Dislikes: Blood purists, the term "mudblood", bullies, jerks, elitist morons, summer, blizzards, pretentiousness about art (it's just some oil, calm down)

Hobbies: Any health problems? (allergies, illnesses, etc):

♣️ Family Background

♣️ Family Affiliation: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding, British Parliament (muggle), House of Lords

Socio-economic status: too wealthy for their own good ♣️ Family Members: ▪️ Relation: Name, FC, Age, Profession, Status (alive or deceased).

| Lord Ashford, George Victor Clark Henry's father, he's a muggle and a member of the House of Lords, the upper House of the muggle parliament in the United Kingdom. He gets along well with his muggle family, and often discusses what he learns at school with his father and tries to explain magic to him.

| Victoria Carlyle {FC: Catherine Zeta-Jones} Henry's mother, a pure-blood witch, she works at the Ministry in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Gets along well with his mother, who instilled her love of sports in him.

| Alexander Carlyle {FC: Jacob Tremblay} Henry's little cousin, just started his first year at Hogwarts. Sweet and pure af.

♣️ What is your character's relationship with their family?

♣️ Which family member does your character feel the closest to? Happiest Memory: Saddest Memory:

How does your OC feel about pureblood supremacy?: How does your OC feel about muggles/ half-bloods? Does your OC think they should be a part of the magical community?

Quick facts: (basically a biography of your OC, but a very short one. include only the highlights. i.e. the important moments of their lives.)

Additional Information:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ HOGWARTS INFORMATION

House: Year: Best Class(s): Worst Class(s): Any Pets?:

Reputation at Hogwarts: ▪️ Is your OC based on one of the character archetypes? If so, which one: ▪️ If not, please write a 2-4 sentence tagline for your OC: (this would essentially be a very brief description of your character. e.g.: Blair Waldorf rules the Upper East Side with an iron fist. Nothing and no one exists without her knowledge- her approval is the only one that matters. Try not to cross her, because Queen B's take downs are nothing short of epic."

Additional Information:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ INDIVIDUAL MAGIC

Wand: Larch wood Wand Core: phoenix feather Wand Length: 13" Wand Flexibility: supple Patronus: phoenix Bogart: Amortentia: lavender, earl grey tea, and caramel

Affinity to any particular magic?

Additional Information:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ USER INFORMATION

Username: @drownedinmoonlight Activity Level (Scale 1-10): 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ OPTIONAL

Playlist: https://goo.gl/UzB5hz* Moodboard: https://goo.gl/Vuy2UY {Henry}* ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀https://goo.gl/cgFck3 {Svea x Henry}* Social Media: https://goo.gl/M7k6wA {Insta}* -- I'm working on a new specifically for GW, bu there's some funny stuff in there. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀https://goo.gl/biMBhH {phone gallery I}* ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀https://goo.gl/UxsV2Q {phone gallery II}* Storyboard: Aesthetic Collection: https://goo.gl/fxmH7j Henry x Svea Aesthetics: https://goo.gl/oegeJv* Wardrobe/Style Collection: Plotting Set: Story:

* = indicates sets/collections by @.lady-stoneheart

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

When you have completed the audition, please tag the mods: @.drownedinmoonlight @.themadmonarchist and @.maybones and use the hashtag #gossipwitch, #GW

#polyvore #audition #template #mine #incomplete description #Henry Clark #luna #gw

2 notes · View notes

lianabrooks · 5 years

Text

The Silent War of the Queens - GOT - Battle of The Ballroom

GAME OF THRONES 8.04

... there is a lot wrong with this episode and then there are a lot of details that seem to have flown under the radar. There was a battle scene and almost everyone missed it (because it was poorly written and it wasn’t done with swords). So, sit back, relax, grab some tea... it’s time to talk about the BATTLE OF THE BALLROOM.

Not every battle in GAME OF THRONES is played out on a field with swords and shields. In fact, some of the most important battlefields are inside the heads of the people.

This is the battlefield where Daenerys Targaryen met Sansa Stark in 8.04.

Dany desperately needs to win this battle. She has lost a majority of her troops, she is cut off from supplies, and she is emotionally fragile. Worse... she has no claim to the throne.

By right of conquest Gendry Baratheon is the rightful heir to Robert’s throne.

By right of birth Jon Snow is the rightful heir if the Baratheon forces are defeated.

Daenerys stands third in line for the throne next to Robert’s widow (and dowager queen, mother of the last two kings), Cersei. If she wanted to, Sansa could make a longshot claim to the throne because she was betrothed to Joffrey.

Dany has to go back four whole kings to get in line for the throne (Tommen, Joffrey, Robert, Dany’s Dad). And the two contenders for the throne are in her army. They’re currently heroes. She has to lock them down or she’ll lose the throne and the seven kingdoms.

Daenerys Targaryen’s end goal is to be queen of the seven kingdoms and take the Iron Throne.

Sansa Stark is her immediate rival... she is the queen of the north. Jon was King of the North and he gave the North to Sansa until he returned. Jon can argue (and probably will) that he bent the knee for himself, not the North. Sansa has the support of the Northern lords, she controls Winterfell, has the support of the Vale, and could arguably take the Bolton lands.

Sansa’s goal has always been 1) survival 2) protecting the North.

Dany showed up and 1) threatened to kill Sansa and 2) told the North they were no longer free.

You can see what kind of friction this might cause.

Although the two queens work together for the defense of Winterfell it is obvious Sansa doesn’t like Daenerys or her style of ruling. They come from very dissimilar cultures and have very different views of how the country should be run.

Dany is used to conquering. She learned war from the Dothraki and the slavers in Essos. She’s used to taking whatever she needs, raiding if she needs to, and overthrowing anyone who stands in her way. It’s very similar to the patterns of conquerors like Alexander the Great. It looks great on the map but the long term survival prospects are low.

Sansa is used to being rooted in place. She is thinking long term survival for a group of people who may have no help from the outside. She is preparing for siege and storm and another 500 years of living in Winterfell. She knows there is no one to raid in the North. She knows food is scarce. She knows Winterfell is isolated and so her planning revolves around thinking ahead and keeping people alive. This is the kind of thinking you see in cultures that survive a few thousand years instead of a generation.

Does that set the scene for you?

Good... let the battle begin...

We open with the living mourning the dead. Sansa has lost a dear friend and old confidant, but retained most of her primary forces (Brienne, Arya, and Bran).

Dany has lost her oldest friend and confidant, seen her child killed in battle (again) and lost a majority of her cannon fodder (the Dothraki and Unsullied). Her principle supports are not warriors (except for Grey Worm) and she has very few skilled fighters on her side. She has nothing that can match Arya in sheer skill and no one as loyal as Brienne. Dany is hurting and needs to get the upper hand.

The open salvo is to knight Gendery, legitimize him, and name him Lord of the Stormlands. There are some awkward looks because everyone knows Daenerys doesn’t have the right to award this, not yet. But she’s acting as if she’s won and if she can keep rolling on that, it might work out.

Notice the wording. Daenerys is in Full Queen mode. She doesn’t try to authorize this by right of Gendry’s birth or anything else. She hands out the land and title as if she already controls them. This is a classic way to gain support (see: all politicians ever) and a good way to ensure people fight for you.

This makes Sansa’s claim wobbly. As long as people support Dany handing out lands and titles they are accepting her as Queen. Gendry is a good ally even without the title and the fact that Arya refuses him shows how little she’s thinking about the big picture. It could easily turn Gendry against the Starks.

That’s a good move for Dany. If she can’t have Jon Snow, Gendry Baratheon will work just fine. He isn’t a dragon, but he has a good claim to the throne and she can use him.

Sansa counters by ensuring she has as many players loyal to her as possible. Northmen. Wildlings. Warriors... Sansa holds court during the feast. She’s smiling, sparkling, and making people fall in love with her. This is a move she learned from her mother and Margaery Tyrell... Sansa doesn’t rule through fear, but with love. She uses subtle tactics. It works to a degree. Gendry is a loose cannon, but the Widllings are allied with the Starks and Sansa remains queen of the hearts of the North.

Dany sees this and goes to Jon.

Killing Sansa isn’t a good option. It’s there, and Dany wouldn’t have cried if Sansa had died in the Battle of Winterfell, but she doesn’t want to strike out at Sansa Stark yet. The easier, faster, sneakier option is to remove Sansa’s claim to Winterfell.

Bran is the rightful heir to Winterfell as Ned Stark’s eldest surviving legitimate son. Bran passed the title to Sansa. Arya stands to inherit if Sansa dies... but none of that matters if Jon Snow becomes Jon Stark, rightful and legitimate son of Ned Stark.

Dany asks Jon not to tell anyone his secret. This is what she’s offering... Winterfell. The Stark name. If he gives up being Rhaegar and Lyanna's son he can become true heir to the North.

That gives Dany an ally and the perfect reason to make an alliance. By now she’s aware that Targaryen incest is not going to go over well with the locals.

Jon refuses. He wants to tell his family. He wants to keep Ned’s name clean. He wants to be honest with his family... and whether he’s playing the long game and protecting the Starks from his own oaths or whether he thinks it’s better for them to know he’s a Targaryen - they are the only ones who can ride dragons - right? I didn’t dream that bit? - is anyone’s guess.

Either way, Dany loses that battle.

Jon Snow rejects her flirtations and refuses to keep his name secret. This is something Dany sees as a direct threat to her plans. It is. Jon has a better claim than her even if he doesn’t want it.

If Dany had bargained here, offering him freedom for the North in exchange for him renouncing the throne, it would have worked. None of the Starks want another bloody war. That’s exactly what they are trying to avoid. But Dany didn’t see the opening and she lost that round.

Which led to the war council.

Arguably, Daenerys is one of the greatest war leaders of her lifetime. She’s won a lot of battles. But she’s always raided and attacked places with plenty of food. Winterfell is a new situation for her. They don’t have endless resources. They don’t have ready replacements for everything lost. Even allowing for time to pass they didn’t have time to make some dragon armor which - considering they have Gendry and Tyrion - seems like a major oversight. They have a blacksmith that can make nearly anything and a guy who designed a saddle specifically for a kid who couldn’t use his legs. They could have made armor for the dragons.

Scouts could have been sent down south.

Plans could have been made.

This is Sansa’s suggestion: Sit. Wait. Be patient.

The same tactic is suggested in Battle of the Bastards, “He has the numbers, we have the patience.”

Winterfell’s weakness to the Night King is the strength against Cersei. The isolation, the space, the time it would take to march troops north... Sansa knows they can wait and then isolate the Lannisters from Euron’s fleet. With the dragons they could easily take out supply trains and weaken the Lannister army.

Dany has tried patience before. When she plotted at Dragonstone Ellaria pushed her to strike quickly. Dany didn’t. She refused to be queen of ashes.

But now Dany feels threatened and isolated. She isn’t thinking clearly, like Ellaria in earlier seasons Dany is hurt, angry, and lashing out and that is where she makes the mistake of pushing her forces out of safety. She remembers what OIenna Tyrell told her... Rule Through Fear. Be A Dragon.

That is terrible advice, and not what Olenna used. Margaery made people love her, and yes she died, but that was Tywin’s fault as much as anyone’s (if Tywin hadn’t forced Cersei into marriage with Loras the Tyrell’s would have lived and Tommen would be king).

Dany’s final strike in the Battle of the Ballroom is to call the war and leave Sansa isolated. She takes the troops and heads south. The Wildlings decamp. Jon and Arya leave.

Dany sees this as a victory. She has won the hearts and minds of the North.

Sansa sees this as Round 1 and her parting volley is to reveal Jon’s parentage to Tyrion.

That reveal has been a sticking point for a lot of people. Why isn’t Sansa bowing? Why is she fighting Dany when Dany is better than Cersei?

The answer is simple: the Starks bowed before and they died.

People died under Targaryen rule.

People died under Baratheon rule.

People died under Lannister rule.

People died under Boloton rule.

Sansa survived all that, fought back, and won her homeland’s freedom. She did not let all those people die so they could hand the crown back to a Targaryen.

If Daenerys wins, Sansa loses independence and her life. The Starks will lose Winterfell, either because Sansa will be forced into another arranged marriage (the way she was with Ramsay) or because Daenerys kills her.

It’s very hard for fans to see this point of view because Dany has always been portrayed as the hero. She is the Mother of Dragons. The Breaker of Chains. The Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea. We love Daenerys Targaryen who has given so much and it is hard to wrap our minds around the threat she gives to Sansa. We can’t envision her killing Sansa simply to get the throne. That’s not the Khaleesi we know!

But it is the Dragon Queen Sansa knows.

All these tales of conquests, Missandei’s stories, the Unsullied, the Dothraki... all of them paint a picture of a conquering queen who won’t hesitate to destroy her enemies.

So Sansa does what she has to in order to survive. She gives Tyrion reason to doubt. She gives Daenery’s counselors a reason to turn on her. She lets the troops go south knowing they are unprepared for the fight.

It’s a risk for Sansa, because her end goal is freedom and safety for the North, she doesn’t want a war with Cersei. But she can’t keep Dany in Winterfell any longer. Not if she wants to live.

Throughout this Sansa is testing Dany, trying to get a good read on the southern Queen. She is listening to Jon praise Dany, and she values Tyrion’s intelligence, but neither of them are rulers. Neither of them have Sansa’s experience and every time she tries to see if Daenerys is ready for the challenge of ruling, Dany fails.

Dany didn’t have food for her dragons.

Dany’s troops weren’t prepared for the north.

Dany doesn’t have the right answer for the freedom of the north (the right answer was - if the north is loyal to me I will give them autonomy with agreements ... or... we’ll see. I haven’t decided. <-- either of these would have placated Sansa enough. Outright refusal is never a good strategy.)

Dany wasn’t thinking about the implications of legitimizing Gendry (or at least not discussing it with Sansa).

Dany was rushing off to war.

... what Sansa sees is an inexperienced leader who is hotheaded and making poor choices. She sees shades of Robb and Joffrey. She sees shades of Margaery Tyrell and the Boltons. She’s seeing a lot of dead faces and if there’s any failure on Sansa’s side, it’s that she isn’t able to find a way to turn her knowledge into a winning scenario for all her allies.

She can’t find a way to communicate with and work with Daenerys.

It’s wrong to think that Sansa wants Dany to fail. Sansa’s working on something different. She isn’t thinking of the Iron Throne and a parade. She’s thinking in terms of dynasties and centuries.

Having Daenerys in King’s Landing isn’t a problem for Sansa. She can support Dany’s right to the throne. What she can’t support is someone risking the North. If she thought Daenerys would be a stabilizing influence (and wouldn’t kill her) Sansa would have supported her. But Sansa sees a future rife with failures and realizes she has to cut her losses somewhere. She can either throw in with the Targaryen queen who wants her dead or trapped, or she can let things ride and hope Winterfell and the North can survive the next battle without the dragons.

The Battle of the Ballroom ends in a stalemate.

Dany rides south to face an easier battle, the one for King’s Landing. She’s off her game, rocked by the losses, and hurting. Her arrival in King’s Landing burns away the last of her patience and in 8.05 we will see her rise as the queen of dragons. Dany learned too, and she knows she needs to control how people see her.

...

For what it’s worth, I think Sansa was trying to stop that from happening. Both The Hound and Arya headed for King’s Landing and we know both were close to Sansa. There is no way Arya left without leaving her sister a note, and The Hound may make excuses, but his loyalty is to the Starks, not revenge. He’s either going to protect Arya, or going because Sansa asked. Possibly both.

If those two had reached King’s Landing before Dany and been able to overthrow Cersei, then Dany would have been able to walk in and claim the throne. Jon could have sworn for her (or not) and the war would have been over. The timing didn’t work out.

#Battle of the Ballroom #GOT #8.04 #daenerys targaryen #Sansa Stark #queen of the north #mother of dragons #Arya Stark #Jon Snow #Gendry Waters #Gendry Baratheon

198 notes · View notes

xxlordalexanderxx · 8 months

Text

🔥|| More Fire and Lava stuff||🔥

Since Alexander is a living furnace he is able to consume rocks and break them down to produce and regurgitate lava of his own for when he isn’t feeling a simple torrent of fire.

He is immune to lava and magma and most forms of extreme heat or fire.

He can walk on top of lava and even swim through it for how thick it can be, he possesses the strength to do so.

He can overall manipulate lava/molten rock (ala firebending)

☄️|| Molten Beast form ||☄️

It requires a lot of energy and enough lava to perform but Alexander, if pushed to do so, can submerge himself in lava and temporary become some sort of giant fire dragon/beast (ala Firebird from fantasia 2000) In this form he can spew destructive torrents of lava and and fire and fireballs and tear through kingdoms. With enough fuel he can get as big as 50-100ft. But if he does perform this he’ll be out of it for three days to week.

#[:.lord alexander head cannons:.]#🌹

9 notes · View notes

pollyssecretlibrary · 5 years

Text

Tagged by @ramblingromance to list ten of my favorite heroes and ten of my favorite heroines from romance novels. I always blank with posts like this, but I’m gonna try my best. These are not listed in any particular order, just the ones that came to the top of my head were listed first.

HEROES

Ash, The Duke of Ashbury - The Duchess Deal. What can I say? hurt and scarred and grumpy and so unintentionally funny. And a Batman of sorts who even has a Robin of sorts! I love all of Tessa Dare’s heroes, but I think Ash is my favourite

Sam, Lord Samuel Travis - The Rogue is Back in Town. He’s the main reason why after reading this book for Netgalley I bought the actual book, in paper, overseas. I had the ebook for free, legally, and I bought the book because I had fallen in love with a man who had stopped being a rake the moment he crossed the main door of the house of the woman he was supposed to have on the streets. Because he became family with her and her old uncle who was not quite right in the head. I wish I could go on about him, but you better read that book.

Alexander Westcott - Someone to Wed. Alex needs a wife because now that he’s an earl he must have an heir. And he’s found the woman to marry. It’s some kind of marriage of convenience; she has the money to fund his earldom and wants a husband, so she offers just that. But he will have none of it, the betrothal will come to its conclusion if and when they fall in love with eachother. In other words, he seeks romance.

Wulfric Bedwin, duke of Bewcastle - Slightly Dangerous. Another Mary Balogh hero. I remember that I read the whole Bedwin saga and until the last book, Wulfric was just the elder brother, the insufferable pain in the ass to his siblings who in each and every book proved that he actually had a heart of gold. And in his book we finally get to see why he’s the way he is, and we fall in love with him.

Victor Bramwell, Earl of Rycliff - A Night to Surrender. I fell in love with a man who shoot cannons at sheep ok? ok

Sebastian St. Vincent - The Devil in Winter. He was the worst of the worst until Evie offered herself to him in marriage. He not only fell in love with the sweet lady but he defended her and their world. Together they made my favourite couple of all of Lisa Kleypas’ Not also that, they had many children together, one of which is...

Gabriel St. Vincent - The Devil in Spring. With parents like Evie and Sebastian, of course Gabriel had to be an outstanding hero. Sweeter and more responsible than his father was at his age, Gabriel is understanding and supportive of Pandora. And I loved him.

Edward Alcott, earl of Greyling - The Earl Takes All. The situation is, he comes back home from an expedition... with his twin brother’s coffin. His sister in law Julia is pregnant and having miscarried several times he’s scared. So he tells everyone he is his brother and tries to protect and look after the widow until she gives birth. He’s eventually discovered and all that but in the meantime and after that he’s caring, protective, loving and all the things he thinks he owes her. And even more, he provides for her and her baby because he’s so in love with her.

Gabriel Forrester, Duke of Latimer - Hero in the Highlands. He arrives in the Highlands, defends the lands he’s inherited, the people who depends on him and the love of his life from a neighbouring laird who seeks power at all costs. Not only that, Gabriel is so involved in his Scottish life, despite being an English lord, he respects the mentality and the customs so much that his people decide he should start a clan of his own and so his people will bow to no one else. They gain independence thanks to him, and that’s quite a feat.

HEROINES

Louvaen - Entreat Me. To save her sister she enters the lair of the beast. I mean, a man who actually turns to a beast due to an old curse. She’s the one to take the bull by its horns and defend herself, her sister, the beast and the beast’s son if needed be, from the curse and the people who mean to harm them all.

Evie - The Devil in Winter. The shiest of the wallflowers, the one who would be called the weakest. Such a little mouse full of insecurities. Well, you’re wrong. She’s the fiercest. smartest and strongest.

Alexandra Mountbatten - The Wallflower Wager. This one is amazing. By day she’s a governess, well, if you call lessons on piracy and sailing proper for the schoolroom. She takes a wild rake and his two mischievous guards in. And by night she requests to be his pupil in lovemaking lessons.

Emma Gladstone - The Duchess Deal. Her husband is Ash ok? You need to be very special to fit that role for he’s not easy to handle. And she’s so good at it, she meets one by one all of his stupid rules and gets her way around them. Every single one of them and more. And she has a heart of gold.

Pandora Ravenel - The Devil in Spring. I connected with Pandora the moment I knew about her hearing loss. This shouldn’t be a reason, right? having more or less the same condition as her... having the same symptoms and feelings and sensations and thoughts. And the same wish to be loved.

Maddy Timms - Flowers from the storm. Taking in an injured man who happens to be a notorious rake should speak for her bravery enough. But falling in love with him and going against your whole world for it, that speaks for her courage. She’s willing to go agains her church, her family, her friends... for the love of a man. And she just wanted to have a quiet life.

Fiona Blackstock - Hero in the Highlands. She’s looked after her clan when her brother disappears. And after that, when Gabriel comes to fulfil his role as Duke of Latimer. Fiona and Gabriel are the perfect team. She’s loyal but opinionated, she’s fierce and wild. A true Scottish lass and an impressive woman.

--------------------------------------------

I know I should add some Bridgertons here and there and some of Lorraine Heath’s heroes and heroines... but my brain won’t work right now so I’ll just add one couple... as together. Because they are very special to me and one doesn’t go without the other. They are the main characters of the first Mary Balogh book I ever read.

From Simply Perfect - Claudia Martin and Joseph, Marquess of Attingsborough. Their story is amazing. It’s one about learning and overcoming hardship together. He’s the father of a natural daughter who he loves with a passion. And the girl is deaf, so he asks her to take her in her school for ladies, But Claudia wants him to learn that his child is just like any other...

I don’t know who to tag, I mean, who hasn’t done this yet? perhaps @romancingthebookworm dearest Jess? I guess you’re too busy at the moment. @hope-for-olicity how about you? @thebooklrandtheduke Miri? Were you tagged already? ANYONE?

#tag game #romancelandia #romance readers #historical romance

20 notes · View notes

asexual--junpei · 3 years

Note

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada. ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

[email protected]

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

ＨＥＹＲＴＺ，Ｉ’ＭＴＲＹＩＮＧＴＯＬＥＡＲＮＴＯＰＬＡＹＲＩＫＩ．ＩＪＵＳＴＨＡＶＥＡＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮＡＢＯＵＴＴＨＥＳＫＩＬＬＢＵＩＬＤ：ＳＨＯＵＬＤＩＭＡＸＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＬＩＫＥＹＯＵＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤＥＧ，ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮＳＯＴＨＥＹＭＩＳＳＭＥＬＩＫＥＥＧＭＩＳＳＹＯＵ７０％ＯＦＴＨＥＴＩＭＥ，ＯＲＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹＳＯＩＣＯＵＬＤＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＬＩＫＥＹＯＵＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤＦＲＯＭＥＧ

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄

░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌

░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█

░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌

░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄

░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄

░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄

░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄

░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐██████████████▄

░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄████████████████▄

░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧＯＲＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ

█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ

༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

Thats so cool! You should write a book or do a screen play

- mod santa

1 note · View note

my-dear-hammy · 7 years

Text

Heads or Tails: Jamilton/Hamlaf

Masterpost

Summary:

1700-1800's Thomas Jefferson and The Marquis de Lafayette are the same person. Always have been. He's been doing a pretty great job at juggling two lives, that is, until he met Alexander Hamilton. Then everything went down hill

Welcome to my latest fic! In this universe, Lafayette and Jefferson are not two different people but are actually the same person and it's all very complicated but don't worry about it.

----

Warnings are posted at the end of the fic to prevent spoilers. If you need them for anything, be sure to check them because I have a tendency to turn dark at the flip of a coin.

----

Heads or Tail

Chapter One:

The Marquis de La Fayette

----

He felt like an entirely new person. His boot covered feet hit the ground of South Carolina and he could suddenly breathe again. Air filled his lungs for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. He sucked in a large breath, taking in the scents of this new land.

The Marquis de Lafayette had just come from France to serve in the American Revolution, the year was 1777.

That's who he was and that's who'd he be for the rest of his life. Thomas Jefferson didn't exist anymore. It was better this way.

***

"Marquis!" a small figure shouted, running toward him, a bunch of papers flying from his arms as he waved.

Lafayette laughed, "Monsieur Hamilton!" he greeted, his French accent thick, "Comment allez-vous (How are you doing)?" Lafayette hadn't been in the army long and he was still struggling to remember to speak English, everyone thought it was because he didn't know English that well but in reality, he knew it very well. He was just used to France, that's all. But it was one reason he was glad for Hamilton's presence, he spoke fluent French so he never had to worry about being understood when he was around and when he slipped up and spoke French around others, Hamilton automatically stepped in as translator.

"Pas mal(Not bad)," Hamilton answered, coming to a stop in front of Lafayette.

"De quoi avez-vous besoin(What do you need)?" Lafayette asked kindly.

"I've got a letter for from General Washington. Just the layout of the next battle. Nothing major really, you're not in it, like always," Hamilton informed, digging through the parchment in his arms and pulling out a thick envelope for Lafayette and handing it to him.

Lafayette sighed. Not involved. Just like always. The General kept saying the moment would come when he could prove himself but one had yet to arrive. No one knew his skill so no one really knew what to do with him.

"Is there a problem?" Hamilton asked.

"Je suis venu servir (I came to serve), not sit by and watch. I want to fight for this country, its people. How can I do that if I'm never on the field?"

Hamilton smiled understandingly and slapped him on the shoulder, "You're time will come. At least you're not an over glorified secretary."

"At least you do something."

Hamilton chuckled, "Yeah, fight with Congress all night. Trust me, Marquis, you'll get your chance. Look over the papers I gave you, I've got to deliver the rest of these," Hamilton said, waving goodbye and scooping up all the papers he dropped as he walked away as if he'd done it a million times.

***

Lafayette was standing next to Washington when it happened. The news that their lines were collapsing and if they fell back into a disorderly retreat, the British would have them surrounded and capture the entire Continental Army, ending the war.

Lafayette turned to Washington, "Sir, please, allow me to fight! It's what I came here to do and someone doesn't do something we're going to lose this war! Allow me to assist Sullivan in defending against Cornwallis"

Washington was in no mood to argue, he had enough on his mind, so he agreed. Two seconds later, Lafayette was galloping off on his horse, followed by a couple of his squires, Gimat and La Colombe, to his first battle. This was it. By the time they arrived, the enemy had already crossed the ford. Sullivan's troops had barely enough time to form a line in front of a thin wood. The Hessians advanced, rested their rifles on a fence, aimed and sent off a cloud of fire to cover the advancing British troops. Lord Cornwallis's troops advanced in perfect order across the field, his first line firing cannons and muskets; the Americans fired a murderous barrage of musket fire, but the entire right and left side buckled; the generals and officers fell towards the center line, where Lafayette and Lord Stirling were fighting alongside 800 men, brilliantly commanded by General Conway.

By sheering off two wings, the British troops could concentrate all their fire on the center of the line, although their advance across an open field cost them many men.

The smoke hung heavy on the field as gunshots sounded like popcorn, flashes barely seen. A cannon ball whizzed by and exploded in their ranks, sending men flying as they screamed. Lafayette refused to yield.

But that didn't mean the others weren't willing to.

The blistering fire and inexorable British advance sent the American soldiers fleeing in panic. No. If they retreated now and in such disorder, Cornwallis would easily sweep through and wipe out the entire army in one go. He was not willing to let this cause die. He'd rather die a million deaths than let that happen. He had to try and halt the retreat. Lafayette reared his horse into the air, wheeled to the right, to the left, galloping back and forth to block the fleeing troops. "Stand men! Fight! Do not retreat like cowards!"

But it wasn't working.

He leaped off his mount and starting grabbing at men's shoulders and arms, forcing them to turn around, "I order you to turn about, stand and fight!" he yelled over the noise. A major general in full uniform; a madman refusing to face defeat. At six feet two inches, he was taller than any other man there, a knight in battle, commanding his men to hold against the enemy.

Startled by a major general's presence among them in battle, like a regular, and by his loud bellows, the soldiers halted their retreat, rallied around him, and took the enemy charge. Stirling formed his brigade on a slight rise behind Lafayette and gave the French knight covering fire, but the sheer number of British troops finally overwhelmed them. With his troop falling dead or wounded about him, Lafayette ordered them to fall back beside Sullivan's and Stirling's men, and, together, they stood their ground until the British were within twenty yards and forced them to flee to the safety of the woods behind.

Lafayette limped along with the fleeing men, the British just behind him. He knew that they wouldn't follow quickly, the woods would slow them down. The images of battle burned into his memory, the sight of dead and dying men, boys, many younger than he was and he was barely twenty. They'd never live full lives. They'd picked up a gun for the cause and died with one in their hands, defending it to their last breath.

That's how Lafayette was going to die. Gloriously in battle. A hero.

He limped over countless bodies and disappeared into the trees. His squire, Gimat, followed.

"Sir!" he shouted, "There's blood seeping from your boot! You're injured!"

Yeah, and it hurt like a motherfucker. A musket ball had passed through the calf of his left leg while he had been rallying the troops but the fight had to go on. The reality of war was finally starting to seep in. He tried to block the sound of the boys who laid dying behind him, calling for help, for God, for their mothers, or just sobbing.

Lafayette grit his teeth. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Gimat and La Colombe lifted him onto his horse and they joined the eastward retreat toward Chester. Aware of the disaster that had just happened, General Nathanael Greene moved from Chadd's Ford to cover their retreat, opening his lines to the waves of bewildered militiamen, mostly boys, and woodsmen, escape the murderous Redcoat fire. The was confusion, so Lafayette tried to use it to his advantage to try and rejoin Washington. His head felt dizzy and the world about him started to spin, the searing pain in his leg seemed to steadily get worse.

He pulled his horse to a stop and his squires helped him down, leaned him against a tree and set about bandaging his leg. A few minutes later, he could hear the noise of British men trampling through the forest after them. As soon as he was able, he leaped back onto his horse and the three of them took off, barely avoiding capture. His heart was racing and his head was reeling and his leg was still in searing pain.

The men were still disorderly. They may be retreating but the army still required order. He spurred his horse forward and blocked the advancement of the troops and ordered them to reform their lines before he allowed them to continue. Finally, Washington and the other generals arrived to relieve him.

"Général Washington," Lafayette bowed from his horse, "Forgive me if I do not dismount. I find myself unable."

"Sir, he took a ball to the leg," Gimat informed.

"Someone get me a surgeon for the Major General!" Washington commanded sternly. He was rather fond of Lafayette, the boy reminded him of himself when he was young. "Captain," Washington addressed another young man around Lafayette's own age, "Help him down and over to Birmingham Church. I want him well taken care of."

"Yes sir," the Captain responded and did as he asked.

Lafayette would have asked his name instantly, but he was too preoccupied trying to stay on his feet as they made their way over to the church. Once he was situated on a makeshift litter, he finally got the breath to do so while the Captain tended to his needs.

"Comment vous-appelez vous(What's your name)?" Lafayette asked, wincing in pain.The Captain looked up at him and he realized he spoke in French again. "Sacrebleu. j'ai parlé en français à nouveau(Damn it. I spoke in Frech again)," he muttered. Where was Hamilton when he needed him?

The Captain chuckled, "Don't let the General hear that language, he wouldn't approve," the Captain said. Good to know, Lafayette tucked that information away for later. "I'm Captain James Monroe, I serve as Stirling's aide, and yes, I can speak French. Would you prefer to converse in French instead?"

"Non, non. I need to get used to Anglais again. The best way to do that is to speak Anglais. I apologize for my language."

Monroe laughed, "Just keep it in French and you should be fine for the most part."

"Excuse my French, then," Lafayette laughed. He had a strange feeling that was going to become a saying.

----

Warnings: Blood, battle, gunfire, war, language

#jamilton #hamilton #hamlaf #jamilton fanfic #jamilton fanfiction #hamlaf fanfic #hamlaf fanfiction #alexander hamilton #the marquis de lafayette #lafayette #thomas jefferson

57 notes · View notes

ciceroprofacto · 8 years

Text

Hamilton War Timeline- SOA

Prior to August 1777, Hamilton’s actions during the war period. No major content warnings. This is based around historical timelines and conflated with fiction, so don’t take it as fact. It’s just background for my narrative and characterization purposes.

1773, moves to King’s college- second choice school, loses some of his academic drive and gets distracted with Mulligan’s work with the Sons of Liberty. Alex is boarding with him, taking his advice about writing pamphlets and doing spy work to instigate riots and manage the uprisings

~February, 1775 age 20, drops out to help form The Hearts of Oak.

June 15th 1775 Washington becomes Commander in Chief of the army.

June 25th 1775, Washington inspects The Hearts of Oak at the foot of Wall Street- first time Hamilton sees Washington, Mifflin and Trumbull- then aides to Washington.

August 23rd, John Lamb’s company supported by The Hearts of Oak and a light infantry unit, raids a shoreside battery under fire from 64-gun man of war, Asia. Loyalists had warned the captain of the Asia that they’d attempt to raid the battery he posted a patrol barge. The redcoats spotted Hamilton’s men and opened fire, Hamilton returned fire against the ship, killing one man- the Asia hoisted and started trying to sail away, firing shots, one hit the roof of a tavern. Hamilton hands off his rifle to haul the ropes for a cannon which he successfully gets off the ship. Mulligan leaves it on the ship, and Hamilton runs back for it under fire.

September 1775, called into Lieutenant Jay’s office to discuss the upcoming recommendations for commissions into the New York artillery. Since the Hearts of Oak stole the cannons, they’re the first in line to form the company of artillery to use those cannons.

Hamilton’s skill with drill and his fearlessness under fire at the battery get him onto the list, but his superiors are concerned about his loyalty to the rebel cause- as he doesn’t seem to have the same attachment to ideals as others they’re considering

Alex resolves to put on the mask of patriotism for the sake of promotion.

Troup, Alex’s roommate, has been training Alex to have the physical ability to lead as an officer. He kisses him and expresses sexual interest which calls Alex to question why he assumed he’d be interested- hint that Alex has been using flirtation to prop up his social skills

October 1775: Alex talks with Mulligan about moving out so he’ll no longer share a room with Troup. Mulligan encourages it- so he’ll move in with Nicholas Fish, but warns Alex that he may not be able to avoid the desires that lead him here

Alex realizes that he thinks of Mulligan like a father

Alex realizes that he’s been working for the rebel cause because it made him feel like he had a family and it made him feel alive and like he had a purpose- he’s been following Mulligan, which has led him to feeling so at-odds with himself. He hasn’t picked the cause for himself, and doesn’t fully believe in it- because he’s following.

November- December 1775: Alex moves in with Fish and takes the job as match manager at Fighting Cocks. Fish regularly visits and Alex quickly learns that Mulligan has him tracking and working with a British double-agent, Cope. He knows loyalist sentiments are strong and most people in New York don’t want war. That culture is rubbing off on Alex despite his affiliation with the Sons of Liberty and his position in the Corsicans- and prospects of command.

No one trusts Cope is reliable as a double-agent but when the British are the aggressors, he’s stepped in and given info. He gave them the tip about the Asia which was the event that's been getting Alex attention now. Cope is playing both sides to keep the peace because he loves New York and doesn’t want to leave or see it destroyed in conflict while most of the people there are loyalist anyway. He’s essentially gone native.

Alex doesn’t like working with someone like that, but Fish reasons that they work with much worse- like known criminals, Dawkins and the Young brothers are counterfeiters and Dawkins has their connections in the prisons.

Cope is attractive and flirtatious and their relationship is a spitfire.

By interacting with Cope, Alex sparks the part of himself that is in this for himself and the urge to resist giving his loyalty to a cause or side. He hates it. They clash heads until the futility of playing both sides comes out and Alex realizes that if you don’t pick a team, you can never lose- but you also can’t win. They both end up polarizing each other.

It renews his drive and gives him the causes that Jay was sensing he lacked. He’s able to approach Troup again and continue physical training.

Jan 6th 1776, NY Provincial Congress raises an artillery company. Most commissions were going to native colonists of wealth and social position, but Hamilton worked his connections to get support of Congressmen John Jay and William Livingston. His math professor from Kings vouched for his trig skills (exaggerating greatly) and Capt. Stephen Bedlam, an artillerist vouched for his skills with a cannon.

Meanwhile, Elias Boudinot, leader of NJ Provincial Congress wrote from Elizabethtown where Lord Stirling remembered Hamilton from the Academy and wanted him as a brigade major and aide-de-camp. (He’d be the youngest major in the army)

Nathanael Greene invited him to be an aide-de-camp as well, also with the position of major, but in charge of continental troops rather than militia.

Hamilton doesn’t want to be stuck to a desk. He wants glory and a ticket out of the shadows. He sticks to his gamble for an artillery commission and on March 14th, NY Provincial Congress appoints him Captain of the Provincial Company of Artillery in NY. He gets Mulligan to sew him a new uniform with the last of his St. Croix money.

March 15, John Clark, coincidentally, is commissioned as a 1st LT in the same Pennsylvania Rifle Regiment as McHenry is serving as an army surgeon.

Ham, Troup, and Mulligan go out recruiting, but they can’t match the pay of the Continental line and anyone interested goes to them for better training and not to be ‘canon fodder’. Congress raises the pay on his request- when he writes that his own pay will be unchanged, but the men deserve more. At the time, an officer’s pay was about a third of the British officer’s. An american enlisted man was paid far more than rank and file in the British army, and in theory had rations, clothing, and equipment given to him at the public expense. The whigs in Congress were trying to use the army to introduce their version of equality.

Within three weeks Hamilton had 69 men (only needed 30). He begins to get a view of how hostile the city is becoming in its Loyalist bent and feels antagonized by that now that he’s taken a side.

While he’d been recruiting, he was ordered to relieve Brig. Gen Alexander McDougall’s First NY Regiment in guarding the colony’s official records as they’re shipped by wagon from City Hall to the abandoned Greenwhich village estate of William Bayard. Hamilton spent his time researching the designs of fortifications, and when his company arrived at Bayard’s hill, he had his company build a heptagonal fort, Bunker Hill with eight 9-pounders and four 3-pounders. Washington commends the fort and Ham’s troops “for their masterly manner of executing the work”

Mid-April- Soldiers were allowed to go into the city and scrap supplies from Loyalist homes, rip up carpets, cut down trees, etc. Hamilton gave his company a framework of the supplies they were permitted to collect and had men paddled if they deviated.

Meanwhile, Harrison and Tilghman are anticipating the same and increase their intel gathering, imploring Washington to formalize the unit under his intel manager, Major Knowlton- he’s the obvious choice, recently promoted by Congress for successfully burning the remaining buildings at Bunker Hill after their loss of the city- without firing a single shot or losing a single man. Whenever they have field intelligence, he’s the man they call on.

Knowlton can’t yet work with any men in the army itself- no one can know Washington’s staff is setting up their own intel-collection system while Congress maintains that authority for itself.

May 12 Knowlton turns to the Sons of Liberty who’s already established intel within the city, and he works his way through their credible agents towards Mulligan at their core, then compares notes with him, both of them following whisperings about an assassination plot against Washington and his chief officers.

Knowlton takes charge of his sources on the former governor, William Tryon. He begins sending out feelers and suspects the Tory mayor, David Matthews is in on it. He uses Mulligan’s sources to start trailing several of the overlapping sources from the army, giving Mulligan the discretion of assigning his best agents to the most vital suspects on their list. Results came in quickly.

Fish reported that, while watching Tryon in New York harbor where the former governor’s ship was taking refuge, he’d been staying at Fighting Cocks. He had gotten Mulligan’s old contact to the Long Island prison agents, Isaac Ketchum, drunk enough to confess, in about February, Ketchum had made contact with a man on Washington’s life guard, interested in a scheme to counterfeit money and pay off some debts- strange that he should be eager to settle scores and deter watchful eyes. The man had used an alias, and Ketchum isn’t smart enough to trace him, but if they can find the counterfeit bills, they can find the officer.

Knowlton has a list of officers to trace and Mulligan recommends Alex for the job.

Alex is suspicious why Mulligan would task him with a counterfeiting case- that’s below his level, but he doesn’t question the urgency or the fact that the orders are apparently coming from Washington’s headquarters.

Alex spends weeks trying to balance his responsibilities to his own unit and trailing these officers, but it’s a difficult task. Meanwhile, Lieutenant John Clark is trailing one of the men on Alex’s list. Thomas Hickey tried to pay a debt to him in counterfeit money. And, when Alex runs into a man trailing one of his suspects, Alex becomes even more suspicious and intercepts Clark about why he’s trailing this man.

They’ve pretty much wrapped up the counterfeiting case, and Hickey is being charged and tried, but Alex isn’t satisfied, positive that there was some bigger purpose behind the case and all they did was lock up their best lead. Clark is similarly suspicious, and having earned Alex’s trust and met Fish and Mulligan by this point, suggests they should try and get an agent inside the prison to pull the story out of him. Clark and Fish manage to get word inside the prison to Ketchum about the plot and entrust him with getting the confession- it’s his ticket out of prison.

Alex knows, even if Ketchum gets the confession, it’s unsubstantiated. They’ll need testimony from Hickey’s contacts.

Alex turns to Cope and tries to play that he’s still susceptible to the middle-ground approach and that their previous flirting had some effect on his attractions. He tries the seductive angle, and Cope sees through it “I know you’re not here for this.” Alex presses him not to question it, and after they’ve slept together, Cope divulges that a plot against Washington exists.

Alex presses for confirmation that Hickey is involved- the name of his contact. Cope refuses that, since the protection of his sources is his primary objective. In exchange for telling Cope his name (he’d been going by Alec Stevens) Cope does give Alex a lead of where to find someone who can confirm it- and Alex sends Fish to investigate the house of William Leary- whose employee, James Mason confirms his own involvement in the counterfeiting scheme and Hickey’s contacts to New York Mayor David Matthews.

Knowing that Cope could use his name to implicate Mulligan and take down the ring, Alex leaves with a threat that he knows Cope’s true name- and his most important contacts in the city, including his lover and illegitimate daughter. They’re both tied together and could bring down those the other loves. Alex promises that, if the redcoats take the city, they won’t hear from the Sons of Liberty.

June 28, 20k spectators gathered to watch Hickey hang. The spectacle around it inflames more loyalist sentiment.

July 4th, 480 warships start approaching NY Harbor towards Staten Island

July 9th, at night, Ham stands to attention on the commons to hear the Declaration read aloud from the balcony of City Hall, soldiers run down Broadway to pull down and smash the equestrian statue of King George III

July 12th, the Phoenix and the Rose sailed up the Hudson to check the American fortifications. One ill-trained gun crew blew itself up trying to fire on the ships. In Tarrytown, the colonial troops abandoned their posts to watch. Hamilton’s company fired when the ships came in range of Bunker Hill, he made a few hits, but he warships returned fire and one of Hamilton’s cannons burst, killing one man and wounding another. Still, Hamilton’s company was the only one to successfully fire.

July 15 When Knowlton provides Hamilton and Clark’s names to Greene and Washington for promotion, Alex gives ultimate credit to Clark. He knows he’s effective at this kind of work, and for once in his life, he’s been able to protect those around him, but only at the cost of putting them in danger in the first place. He has no desire to continue the cycle. He’s just gained some glory with his artillery company and wants to stay there.

Alex knows he’s most useful to the cause when he can operate in the shadows while keeping his face in the light. Saving Washington and Mulligan is proof of that- he’s never been able to protect the people he cares about, so this leaves an impact.

The arc ends with Alex convincing Mulligan to lay low and cut ties to the Sons of Liberty- when Mulligan insists that he wants to help the rebel cause, Alex assures him that, if they ever have need of someone in the city, he’ll find him personally.

August 12 Washington promotes Knowlton to Lieutenant Colonel and orders him to select an elite group of 130 men and 20 officers from CN, RI, and MA. He invites Hamilton and Clark to the party and promotes Clark to General Greene’s aide de camp.

By September, the city was lost to the British. Greene wanted to burn the villages and suburbs which were largely loyalist, but Washington didn’t allow that, and ordered the army decamped. The British attacked at Kip’s Bay on the East River, two miles north of Hamilton’s hill, leaving his company cut off. Gen. Israel Putnam and his aide Major Aaron Burr went to evacuate them.

Hamilton held to his orders from General Henry Knox to rally his men and stand, but Burr used Washington’s authority to drag Hamilton and his company with just the clothes on their backs, two cannons, and their men by a concealed path up the west side of the island to freshly dug entrenchments at Harlem Heights.

While they’re escaping, Hamilton quickly befriends Burr until the Major talks freely with him. Burr mentions the plot Greene had suggested to burn the city behind them. Alex says he can make that happen- and they take a detour to the Greenwich Village where Alex has a friend willing to cut a deal with him.

September 20th, Alex stops by the Fighting Cocks tavern where he still has a contact in Stoker, and convinces him to start a fire near Whitehall Slip. 493 houses, a quarter of the city burned down. Washington wrote “Providence, or some good honest fellow, has done more for us than we were disposed to do for ourselves”

September 24th, Alex collects the report of Nathan Hale’s hanging in the park of artillery. He meets Captain John Montresor of His Majesty’s army under a flag of truce who explains his purpose of his visit- the execution of Lieutenant Hale- a formal courtesy and a thinly-veiled warning that Washington’s attempt at espionage had been an embarrassing failure. Hamilton is sent to report it to Washington himself.

September 26th, Hamilton meets Fitzgerald who’s acting as one of the couriers for Washington’s office and demands to be brought to meet him with a proposal.

“He will remember me- we’ve met twice.”

“He meets many people many more times than twice, Mister Hamilton.”

“He’ll remember me.”

He knows several patriotic merchants in New York who he met in person while living with Mulligan- partners of the company he’d worked with. (Hamilton worked as a clerk in the Christiansted office of a New York-based import-export house for Nicholas Cruger, the 25-year-old scion of one of colonial America’s leading mercantile families.)

Washington doubts the vitality of any kind of spy ring in New York so deep into enemy lines. He won’t risk sending a courier with any kind of letter that far into danger. So, Hamilton offers to make the ride himself.

Washington’s aide, Fitzgerald says he knows a fast rider (Meade) who can help him get in and out of the city undetected or disguised.

By October 1st, Hamilton’s presented his full plan to Washington and been approved. Fitzgerald introduces him to Meade and they suit up to make the ride.

When he gets back, he wants a promotion to Major, recalling that he’d been offered that had he worked as General Greene’s aide, after the ride he’s made, he believes he deserves a better command. Washington turns him away.

“One short ride into New York which may or may not provide me viable intelligence doesn’t win me the war, boy…”

He stomps out and passes Meade and Fitz, muttering, “If he wants me to win the war for him, fine. If that’s what it takes.”

Fitz is like ‘Is this kid serious?’ Meade just nods, having seen Alex climb roofs, fight men twice his size, and talk people into circles until they’re agreeing with him without realizing it.

October 28th, Hamilton’s artillerymen are attacked by Hessians. Ham’s gunners, flanked by NY and MD troops repulse the attacks before being driven further north. They encamped, expecting another attack, but none came to Ham’s company before the Americans surrendered on Nov 16th. The Americans evacuated so quickly they left 146 canons, 2,800 muskets, and 400,000 cartridges

Early November, Hamilton ordered back up the Hudson to join Lord Stirling at Peekskill and march to Washington’s camp in Hackensack, NJ. He’s exhausted from his ride into New York to make post, and the trip makes him ill.

Hamilton hitches horses to his two remaining 6-pounders and marched his gun crews 20 miles in one day to the Raritan river past Elizabethtown where he went to school (he’s very familiar with the Raritan river).

None of his connections in New York have responded. So, on the ride out, he stops to deliver a letter to New Jersey to follow through on his offer to Washington.

Desperate, he swallows his pride and changes into civilian clothes, poses as a seventeen year old Princeton student, and visits someone he knew while he was at the boarding academy. A John Honeyman who had... admired Alex while he studied in the apartment upstairs of his butcher shop. Alex knows that Honeyman has been keeping his head down as a loyalist, but he also knows he harbors patriotic sentiments because of how he’d rail about taxes while Hamilton worked on his studies.

He makes it clear that there can’t be a paper trail- that’s why he risked the visit in person. Honeyman is hesitant, but he knows he’s well-trusted to the British and he can get the information Alex needs. So, he agrees to do what he can.

November 20th, Mulligan shows up where Hamilton is dug in near GW’s Hackensack headquarters. He had been captured three months earlier at the Battle of Long Island and determined a ‘gentleman’ after his arrest, released on his honor not to leave New York City. But, he got word of Hamilton’s offers out to their friends in NY. Hamilton is ecstatic, and they set up plans for correspondence and passing information discretely.

The fighting continues, November 29, a force of about 4,000, double that of the Americans, arrived at a spot across the Raritan River from Washington’s encampment. While American troops tore up the planks of the NewBridge, Hamilton and his guns kept up a hail of grapeshot.

For several hours, the slight, boyish-looking captain could be seen yelling, “Fire! Fire!” to his gun crews, racing home bags of grapeshot, then quickly repositioning the recoiling guns. Hamilton kept at it until Washington and his men were safe

On December 20th, Honeyman wanders near the artillery line of camp where Hamilton’s company is stationed. With Mulligan providing intel from New York, Hamilton doesn’t want to bring Honeyman in, but he’s already told Washington about him so he has to and he does.

Honeyman is brought to Washington as a legitimate prisoner and he gives his report of the British positions, men he had questioned and carefully counted. Hamilton and Fitzgerald aide his ‘escape’ from the Patriot camp and give him directions back out to the Hessian camp where he’s to meet up with Colonel Rall and tell him “There will be no attack. The American troops are so disheartened and so bedraggled, they have no plans of advancing any time soon.” Hamilton then tells him the arrangements made to get his family to New Brunswick safely. Hamilton gets away without having to show him any affection for the trade by being ill enough to be unattractive. Fitzgerald makes several comments about how ill he looks, ‘knocking on deaths door’.

The gamble pays off and Rall believes Honeyman, expects no attack. He informs his subordinates to stand down and commence Christmas celebrations- they break open casks of ale and Washington’s troops start boarding ships to cross the Delaware into Trenton

Tramping past darkened farmhouses for 12 miles, Hamilton’s company led Nathanael Greene’s division as it swung off to the east to skirt the town. One mile north of Trenton, Greene halted the column. At 8 in the morning, Hamilton unleashed his artillery on the Hessian outpost. Three minutes later, American infantry poured into town. Driving back Hessian pickets with their bayonets, they charged into the old British barracks to confront groggy Hessians at gunpoint. Some attempted to regroup and counterattack, but Hamilton and his guns were waiting for them. Firing in tandem, Hamilton’s cannons cut down the Hessians with murderous sheets of grapeshot. The mercenaries sought cover behind houses but were driven back by Virginia riflemen, who stormed into the houses and fired down from upstairs windows.. Riding back and forth behind the guns, Washington saw for himself the brutal courage and skillful discipline.

January 2, 1777, their numbers reduced from 69 to 25 by death, desertion and expired enlistments, Hamilton and his men wrapped rags around the wheels of their cannons to muffle noise, and headed north. They reached the south end of Princeton at sunrise, to face a brigade—some 700 men—of British light infantry. As the two forces raced for high ground, American general Hugh Mercer fell with seven bayonet wounds. The Americans retreated from a British bayonet charge. Then Washington himself galloped onto the battlefield with a division of Pennsylvania militia, surrounding the now outnumbered British. Some 200 redcoats ran to Nassau Hall, the main building at Princeton College. By the time Hamilton set up his two cannons, the British had begun firing from the windows of the red sandstone edifice. College tradition holds that one of Hamilton’s 6-pound balls shattered a window, flew through the chapel and beheaded a portrait of King George II. Under Hamilton’s fierce cannonade, the British soon surrendered.

In the wake of twin victories within ten days, at Trenton and Princeton, militia volunteers swarmed to the American standard, far more than could be fed, clothed or armed. Washington’s shorthanded staff was ill-equipped to coordinate logistics. He turns to General Greene for assistance and Hamilton offers to assist him in working as a volunteer aide, a position he was offered and turned down- Greene takes his assistance and is impressed with his accounting ability.

This sets Hamilton in the clout of the other aides again and Harrison, Tilghman, and Fitzgerald are all raving about him, toasting him at parties and asking Meade stories about their ride together. Meade’s just joined their staff and tries to involve him in their conversations but Alex stays reserved with them. He jokes lightheartedly when Fitz applauds his miracles and mentions how he’d thought he was going to die of fever before they saw the victory he’d assured. Alex teases that he’d bargained deals with a devil- of course he wouldn’t succumb before collecting on it.

Shortly after the army was led into winter quarters at Morristown, New Jersey, Nathanael Greene invited Hamilton, who had just turned 22, to dinner at Washington’s headquarters. There, Washington invited him to join his staff with a promotion from captain to Major as he’d previously asked. Hamilton demands rank as Lieutenant Colonel and stands by it- Congress had acted that Washington’s official aides all hold the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Washington capitulates.

On March 1, 1777, he turned over the command of his artillery company to Lt. Thomas Thompson—a sergeant who, against all precedent, he had promoted to officer rank—and joined Washington’s headquarters staff.

#SOA #Song of Alexander #Bonus Content

112 notes · View notes

andrewuttaro · 5 years

Text

New Look Sabres: GM 14 - WSH - Season’s First Rant

6-1 Washington Capitals over Buffalo Sabres

I’ve thought the Capitals are a soft team for about seven years now. The President’s Trophy years and even the year they won the Stanley Cup: they’ve been a beatable good team for a while. I know that’s some high alcohol content coming from a Sabres fan but they’re not a beast of a team, not since maybe before Eichel was drafted. Don’t get me wrong, they’re lethal with the likes of Backstrom, Kuzy, Oshie, Carlson and of course the greatest pure goal scorer of his generation Alexander Ovechkin. They have what this young Sabres squad are still very much learning: killer instinct. Having your moment and converting on them even when you got a lead. They also got a powerplay that just fires cannon after cannon after cannon. They’ve got all the makings of Champions and most of them do have at least one title to their name. But even the Caps on a hot streak aren’t unbeatable. I predicted the Sabres would stay with the Caps for a little bit before getting run out of town. I was half right. The Caps got the first goal and never really looked back. This one ended 6-1 for the home team. Grab your leftover Halloween candy because you’re going to need em! This one was the first honest to god roast. We got a little taste of the roast we know so well against the Rangers last week, this time we got full open flame! The most well-done parts of this roast? The defense: that cut is charred real good. But before we eat the main course how about we have some appetizers. This won’t be the fun bread and butter appetizer. No, it’s time for the salad! And no, you don’t get dressing! No, not cheese! I think we need to have a little talk as fans. This is a fan blog after all, and the team didn’t exactly give us a lot to talk about tonight.

Did they have a bad game? Yes they did. The first period the defense was absolutely rocked. For the playing connected Sabres it was the most distinct chasm between quality of play between the offense and the defense. Ask Conor Sheary, he almost drew first blood before the post denied him! That’s my segway: fellow Sabre fan let me ask you this. Do you feel denied? I started watching this team in 2009. For five years the nicest thing this team gave me was a cute little Winter Classic game. Would it have been nice for them to let Edmonton take Tomas Vanek and keep those draft picks, so they could’ve built a winner for when I was in High School and my dad and me were watching games all hunky dory? Yeah. Somedays when I’m really bored I feel denied a Lindy Ruff Stanley Cup. Bah, let’s talk about this team. Jack Eichel played his 300th game tonight. Wow isn’t that crazy. I’d say I feel old but I’m young enough that he could be my brother. He’s been a Sabre for all 300 of those games. 108 goals, 276 points and a big zero goose egg playoff games in four seasons. Does Jack Eichel feel denied the postseason competition that big olde ginger heart beats fast for? He did… in 2017. Then he became a leader and decided this club was the only way he was going to get that sweet sweet postseason play and got over it. He’s still on pace for a career year by the way. We’ve put up with a lot of garbage, many of us longer than Jack has, but let’s be real here: is this a club you don’t want to bother with on a Friday night? In 2017-2018 I was going to painting classes with my in-laws instead of watching Sabres games. That team was accidentally the worst in the league. This version? I cleared my afternoon for that Dallas game a couple weeks back and was richly rewarded! I think we’re afraid. I think we’re afraid of how to handle a team that is actually good. When we’re bitching about them losing to a good team saying same old Sabres typing SpongeBob font “cAn I bE nEgAtIvE aBoUt ThEm NoW?” That’s a loser’s mentality. We’ve wanted them to be good so long that we can’t handle them when they’re good, get our hopes up and then have a stinker. They’re not as good as the Caps right now, is that remotely shocking? Should that be something that makes us check the draft rankings? Are we really cowards like that? Jack Eichel took the shit and dealt with it and so should we. Captain Jack is not one to sit in the shit and mope about it. Maybe we shouldn’t either. And if some curly haired New Englander is the right messenger how about the other team’s C. Ovechkin gave the Leafs a decent white board quote when they shellacked our northern neighbors over the weekend: “Will they play for themselves or for a Cup?” He knows struggling for a long time to eventually breakthrough. I think we’ll breakthrough as a fanbase to not panic at the slightest sign of difficulty soon. We just got to be smart when we got a bad night.

Alright, Pep talk’s over. Let’s rant together. They’ve lost back to back for the first time this season and it wasn’t until November; but they’ve finally failed enough to shake off my first rant! And it starts with our favorite jock-voice jet setter Coach Krueger! This new coach is marching out my sweet baby boy Linus Ullmark against one of the most potent offenses in the Eastern Conference! AAAHHHHH!! If master motivator Ralph Krueger isn’t going to turn it around after a rough patch in the most stacked Atlantic Division in twenty years then I am not going to defend incompetence this time! I finally get to write a blog for money (southtownstickets.com, check it out) after years of writing about this god forsaken team for therapy and now you’re going to drive me into insanity right as opportunities like a 9-2-2 start to crop up!? GIVE ME A BREAK! There has to be some 70-year-old dude looking at me like a real amateur. Imagine that: imagine remembering every single disappointing year of this franchise and being made to get excited about a team everyone who knows any insight at all about the sport thinks are likely 10-15 points out of a playoff spot again. Imagine that! That guy must feel really denied, eh?! I feel insulted for him! You know who I don’t feel insulted for? YOU DUMB ASS TONAWANDA/CHEEKTOWAGA/ORCHARD PARK BOOT KISSING GAS LIGHTING TROLLS WHO ARE JUST DYING TO ROAST ANY USAGE OF ADVANCED STATS! WHAT DO YOU DO? I’m not talking to you old guys, no you just grew up with a league that encouraged assault with a deadly weapon, and you miss it. I’m talking to you: yeah you, you under 30 Trump voting fucks who think math is out to ruin your hockey! WHO HURT YOU? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? DOES CHAD’S FACE JUST MAKE YOU IRRATIONALLY VIOLENT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO PUNCH IT? GET THERAPY, don’t take it out on the someone who just happens to enjoy hockey with a few extra numbers! UNFOLLOW YOU IGNORANT PRICK! DAHLIN DOESN’T NEED TO BE BENCHED BECAUSE YOU REWARD CREATIVITY YOU SELF-DEFEATING SHITHEAD! Ugh, you stupid fucks…*deep breath*… okay you probably want some real content now… okay per Darren Dreger Sabres GM Jason Botterill is looking to make a trade for forward depth …*takes another deep breath*… okay let’s talk about this game for real now.

Henri Jokiharju scored his first goal as a Sabre. It was a weird one. It bounced off a Caps’ back and over Brendan Holtby. That’s nice anyway for a guy whose been fantastic so far. He deserves it more than most even deserved to be on the ice in this game. Every defensive pairing except maybe John Gilmour and Colin Miller was roasted on an open fire. It’s like a Bills tailgate with less liquor and no broken tables. It’s hard to compliment forwards here since none of them scored but Conor Sheary and his line with Casey Mittelstadt looked sharp. Maybe it’s time to get Victor Olofsson off Eichel’s wing? We’ve been thinking about it for a while, but this is the first official skid so maybe Krueger actually does it now. Hell, maybe the Isles have to face Skinner-Eichel tomorrow. Now that I think about it, please do that, I’ll be in attendance. I also feel the need to bring up Evan Rodrigues. Dude: what’s going on? I want you to get your mojo back but you’re not looking good. I saw a trade scenario with you as an add on and I didn’t hate it. You maybe running out of time. If you’re going to turn it around you probably have to do it… like now-ish.

Like and share this blog. While you’re at it rant with me in the comments. We haven’t had good grounds for a rant yet. Let’s be thankful it didn’t get here until the Christmas music started playing. The Isles are hot right now and I want to call em soft since I’m seeing them live tomorrow I just can’t. Look, there’s no cakewalks this month. If they suck ass tomorrow at home they’re going to get booed. I’m not in booing mood after a 9-3-2 start but lord knows if they trail at all tomorrow at home some Tonawanda fucks are going to do it! Well enough bad words for tonight. I’m tired and I’m heading to Toronto in the morning tomorrow before the game. Drop me any recommendations that come to mind. I’m already doing the Hockey Hall of Fame so be more creative. Nothing makes me cheer for the Sabres harder than going to Toronto! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. If you are from Tonawanda, Cheektowaga or Orchard Park those insults are not aimed at you for simply being from there. They are aimed at the high number of gas-lighting trolls who originate from your town. Please don’t make this disclaimer relevant, don’t be a dumbass.

#buffalo sabres #hockey #blog #NHL

0 notes