#[ this was just him creating an actual nightmare out of a romantic memory cuz that's how he do lol

[sullivanspade]

A Literal Nightmare

The final glorious note of the performance resonated through the packed auditorium and Sullivan, along with everyone else in the audience, launched from their seats into a standing ovation. Many had tears in their eyes from the emotional ending scene as the applause grew deafening, but Sullivan’s sentiment was much deeper than the casual theater-enthusiast. As if on cue, the gorgeous raven-haired man taking his much-deserved bows centerstage, straightened up and looked directly at him. Sullivan’s heart leapt, thankfully kept firmly in place by the considerable knot in his throat. And, being the dramatic that he is, Sunny then raised his hand to his lips, placing a kiss there before theatrically blowing it in his direction.

Heart on the verge of imploding and any and all inner thoughts reduced to keyboard smash literacy, Sullivan stopped clapping only because he needed to verify that his cheeks weren’t actually on fire. It certainly felt like they were. He couldn’t hide his beaming smile though or the adoration that made his dark eyes sparkle. He felt so special in that moment. Adored and cherished and...loved, as Sunny took a moment to appreciate him when they were literally in a room packed with a vast range of Kadeu’s ranked, who were all applauding in appreciation of Sunny.

A strange but familiar buzzing started and gradually began to rival the cacophonous applause echoing in the room. Sullivan’s euphoria began to wear off as the feeling of hundreds of eyes penetrated his happiness. Suddenly, he remembered it was not just he and Sunny in the room. He reluctantly tore his eyes away from Yongsun and instantly regretted it. He’d never seen or felt so many people looking at him. The room felt like it was beginning to spin and from the corner of his eye, Sullivan’s horror increased when he realized Sunny was gesturing for him to come down...and join him on stage.

Sullivan couldn’t even shake his head in protest before he felt himself LEVITATING out of Sunny’s box. He gasped in horror, flailing helplessly before remembering that hundreds of people were now staring at him if they weren’t already before. He went absolutely rigid, silently cursing Ara for taking it upon herself to include him in this involuntary game of ‘light as a feather, stiff as a board.’

Descending helplessly toward the stage and into Sunny’s beckoning arms, Sullivan did his best to hide behind him as soon as he was placed on his feet. He smiled widely and laughed, seeming to misinterpret Sullivan’s discomfort as his usual coyness and dislike of overwhelming attention. The stage was Sunny’s home. A place where he felt comfortable, but it was certainly not the same for Sullivan. There were so many people looking at him. Too many people. He felt exposed, almost violated now that he was trapped centerstage under the scrutinizing gaze of the audience.

Barred by Yongsun’s impossibly strong arms, Sullivan began to look around at the audience members, both incredibly curious as to who was watching him and afraid to see what they thought. He recognized certain faces immediately, his trepidation mounting as he analyzed their expressions and somehow missed glaringly obvious clues that this scenario was the working of his inner fears.

The first person he noticed was Ara in the wings, smiling beautifully and giving him two enthusiastic thumbs up with unmistakable ‘you’re doing amazing, sweetie’ energy. Gaze traveling toward the front of the crowd, he spied Prospero and more notably, Eva, who was repeatedly yanking on the poor man’s arm and shouting ‘What’s happening?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!’ He realized belatedly that she was much younger than she should be. Eyes moving directly upwards, Sayge catching his attention.

She stood in her box, arms crossed over her chest and looked incredibly disinterested in the situation that was bordering on traumatic for Sullivan. She was unmoving except for her top hand, which was busily rolling a poker chip over and across her knuckles impressively. The lights on the stage brightened, making it increasingly harder to see, but there was no mistaking the figure beside her. Zuihuo Joui...the bloody Ace of Hearts...completely buck-ass nude, long luxurious black hair draped over his body with strategic Lady Godiva style.

Sullivan’s eyes narrowed as he continued to stare against the intensifying lights. Joui smirked impishly, clutching the journal he’d given him for his birthday as he furiously scribbled down onto paper whatever Sullivan might’ve gleaned from a more expressive expression. The deception left Sullivan distinctly annoyed but sensing from the Ace’s movement that a hair flip of scandalous proportion was underway, Sullivan rightfully averted his precious eyes.

Only to have them land in the box below, where Max was sitting on Bestram Beryl’s lap, his cheek bouncing repeatedly against her bosom as she enthusiastically clapped with her arm around his neck. At this point, the lights intensified to a blinding level. Sullivan let go of Sunny’s arm with one hand to try and block the light but it was no use. He was blind.

The light enveloped him completely, warming him from the inside out. The comfortable sensation starkly contrasted the confusing dream nightmare he’d escaped, so he tried not to question the timely rescue.

“Darling boy, you are ill-prepared for the dark times that await you.”

Sullivan can’t hear the sudden voice as much as he immediately understands the light’s intended message. The words and the light are warm, almost like this entity is smiling at him, but there is something else there too, underneath. Something jagged...wild...dangerous.

“I’ve seen your past. Though they were meddling where they had no right, it seems someone has tried to help you once already.”

Sullivan’s trepidation slowly begins to force its way into the sugar-coated scenario at the revelation that this being has ‘seen his past.’ At the mention of meddling and help he’d been given, Sullivan had an immediate influx of candidates as many, many people have offered him help, but there was only two who had aided him on a ‘magical’ level and only one had been unbidden.

“This is the last of the assistance you’ll get. Never say Shukra didn’t help you.”

Sullivan jolted awake, sitting upright in one fluid movement that pulled a mountain of blankets with him. Gradually he regained his bearings, realizing that despite waking up drenched in sweat and with a massive headache, he was in familiar surroundings. Cold morning light painted hazy squares on the floor of his study. The remnants of a fire smoldered in the hearth to his right, a sleeping Adonis at his left.

Relieved that he hadn’t woken him, Sullivan pulled off his saturated pajama top before returning to his rightful place in the crook of Sunny’s arm. He turned toward him this time, laying his cheek on Sunny’s bare chest, comforted by the warmth and the slow rise and fall of his breaths. The headache, nor the dream would leave him as he absently stared at the opposite wall. He spent much of his free time here, especially in the evenings. The room itself was a canvas for Sullivan’s studies. The walls were painted a deep charcoal gray and covered, at most times from floor to ceiling, with Sullivan’s sketches and scribbles. (I shouldn’t say that. Sullivan has never scribbled a day in his life.)

His eyes focus on one particular section of writing, one that he’d painstakingly transcribed from the grimoire the River Witch had given him. One that he was having a particularly difficult time deciphering to the point that he could translate it. One that now looked unequivocally clear from his vantage point.

Sullivan sat up abruptly, this time bumping Sunny in the process and stirring him from sleep. It was only a moment later when he clumsily scrambled over the chiseled torso in between him and the now legible wall. Sullivan put his palms alongside the text, kneeling as he stared in amazement. His eyes were wide as saucers as he looked around wildly, gasping in astonishment as one by one, the mysteries revealed themselves.

Finally, when the realization had sunken in good and well, Sullivan turned to his confused and concerned partner with all the uncontainable excitement and elation welling inside of him.

“I CAN READ!” he exclaimed, almost overcome with gratitude from this unforeseen ‘divine’ intervention.

Wednesday 11 November 2020; Midnight.

You are sleeping. The dream you’re having halts abruptly and you become aware you’re dreaming. A light appears at the edge of your vision, an impossibly bright, golden light. Even as you turn to look at it you see nothing but a light that feels both like it’s searing your eyes as well as gently warming your very soul.

It speaks to you without words, though you understand it all. “Darling boy, you are ill-prepared for the dark times that await you.” You are still blinded by the light, but you feel as though you’re being smiled at. Yet, you can’t shake the feeling the expression is somehow feral. “I’ve seen your past. Though they were meddling where they had no right, it seems someone has tried to help you once already.” The light reaches towards you until all you see, eyes closed or open, is searing golden light that penetrates your brain. As your consciousness fades you hear these departing words, “This is the last of the assistance you’ll get. Never say Shukra didn’t help you.”

You awaken abruptly, drenched in sweat with a blinding headache. Eventually, you realize something’s changed. Acting on instinct, you fetch the tome the River Witch gifted you. You can now read the ancient demonic language.

You have been blessed by Shukra, Guru of the demons, bestower of knowledge.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 2: The VR Zone Has a Hell Ton of Trees

Alright guys I am regretting the hell out of this teriyaki ramen bowl I just ate, so it’s a better time than ever to go back into this VR arc. Now that the Big 5 have made their speech, all of them quite fat and one with a cane although he doesn’t even have a body anymore, they are ready to send everyone down a series of...plot-shaped holes.

Like they were JUST in some sort of tropic zone, to go back to here and then go somewhere else and so like--this is still VR I think? Like I’m assuming they went VR the moment they entered this room but it is quite vague at what point they were officially in VR. Was it when their vision went fwisssh and everyone split into RGB layers or was it that they got knocked out with gas quite a long time ago and were just unaware that it happened? Probably a bunch of these things.

With this announcement we find out that everyone--and I mean everyone--has to play cards now, although I’m pretty sure half of them have duel disks and the other’s are like...not equipped? I mean it’s VR, so hypothetically no one at all needs a duel disk anymore but you gotta sell toys, so no matter what, Yugi’s going to be lugging this heavy sharp thing on his wrist, even when he knows he will soon be shot down a wacky hole.

The title of last episode, ps was “VR Nightmare,” but like, it’s actually fairly pleasant, compared to the blimp hell we were dealing with just a few episodes back. I mean I guess people are actively trying to kill us here but when are they not?

The audacity of this show. Every state in the US has huge ass fake castles in it leftover from the Rockefeller era. Where else are our Moms supposed to drag us on Day Trips so we can get our history credit for Girl Scouts?

Americans are hella good at creating fake historical sites--all you need is a 50+ year old house and some turret work possibly made by a reasonably well known architect and it’s like “yeah that’s a good enough castle for me! Can we say it’s haunted, too? It’s hella haunted! Come to my castle B+B!”

(read more under the cut)

Tea landed in some concept art that kind of looks like the underside of a mushroom. I dunno how I’d classify this rock structure.

And then Kaiba landed in his worst nightmare which was being in a normal park with one single straight road but somehow still completely lost. At least Mokuba managed to fall into the same hole as his brother to ensure that Seto wouldn't be lost for like the rest of this arc. Which was actually kind of an unintentionally hilarious animation.

*rare shot of the Kaibas actually taking a break*

Man, this is the closest they’ve gotten to a real hug in kind of a while. Like when was the last time these bros hugged? Pegasus’ castle?

Meanwhile, Noah is admiring his work from this throne room and it would be a whole lot more intimidating if he wasn’t in calf-high black socks.

His outfit is like a white school uniform so what gives with the black socks? Like of all the things to complain about on Yugioh (especially since I see Yugi’s hair looking right at me in the next cap) those socks though. Those are pretty inappropriate with this outfit, Noah. Especially matched with this God Throne you’ve got going on. Did not see socks like that matched with a chair like this.

Meanwhile Yugi is all by himself but that doesn’t matter at all because he is 2 (3) people. This strategy to isolate everyone only really worked on Serenity and Joey, TBH, since Tea is also accompanied by slightlylessevil!Marik (who hasn’t really said anything since the VR started).

I knew Bakura would be out for a while, but I didn’t realize it meant everyone else wasn’t even going to once acknowledge it, it is baffling. I mean I get they’re super distracted right now but your friend is DEAD.

Honestly I would not mind if the big 5 succeeded and we had to see some old men try and work with Yugi’s hair and alt rock clothing, deal with Pharaoh sassing them from a brain labyrinth, go to Yugi’s school where people get savagely beat up like every other day, deal with Bakura and Marik trying to body snatch and other magic assholery during class breaks, and through all that watching the Big 5 attempt to take over the world with their megacorp that no longer sells guns but actually sells like...children’s entertainment supplies which include the dueling roombas from S1. How on Earth do they actually think that getting a body would help them at this point? They would be Yugi Muto and that is the last face anyone would ever take seriously.

Pharaoh pops up and is like “I guess we’re doing this right now? Really wish we weren’t doing this right now.”

Anyway, because they don’t physically exist in this digital world, neither do God Cards, or any other card in their deck. So, now they have to make new decks out of a pool. Very convenient for the writing team, bad news for Kaiba’s intense and vaguely romantic relationship with his Blue Eyes. Really glad we spent a full season talking about how much these cards meant to all these people, from the magicians, to Joey’s Red Eyes, and then that one card that was Mako Tsunami’s Dad or something--really glad we learned all of that to just completely erase it this arc.

I sounded sarcastic just now, I actually wasn’t for once, I am so glad to just purge my mind of all those card memories for a little while. Just allow myself to forget. Ah. My mind is already so much clearer. It feels so good. I am very much ok with this soft reset, I kinda needed it.

Since Yugi is supposed to choose a Deck Master from his set of cards for this particular type of duel monsters duel, he goes right for the dark magician--since that’s his MO, but for some reason Kuriboh chose himself? Like this greasy thing just hopped out of the card and played himself.

Anyway Kuriboh is now their new Pikachu and well...this show has done worse cute-character-that-does-literally-nothing-else type things to me, speaking of, lets see what Serenity is up to.

This is a digital hellscape, Serenity.

Serenity, you are going to die here.

Serenity.

So because I just realized just now in Season 3 that Duke’s necklace is a hot, over designed disaster (much like Duke himself) I figured I should like...see what this necklace is supposed to look like. So I typed into Google “duke devlin necklace” and guys, turns out there is a LOT of Yugioh jewelry--and I don’t mean like fanart (which there is also a lot), I mean like officially, a lot of people in this show wear a lot of jewelry and so it was sort of hard to find a good pic of a Duke Devlin specific necklace--especially since it feels like most people just go for the dice earring because that’s way easier.

But what’s interesting about the Duke Devlin necklace, at least from my quick search, is that when we bring it to the real world, it gets a little lost, like a game of telephone.

Cuz I assumed that was a clown on his necklace--and there’s quite a few clown necklaces, but I’m also seeing skulls, I’m seeing gothic crosses, I’m seeing spikes and knives instead of crosses. Bro thought it was a flower for some reason--I kinda blew his mind just now when I pointed out it was a clown. Some people think it’s made of silver, other people think it’s sort of painted? (I assumed the cross was entirely blinged out with rhinestones--my honest assumption) No one can actually agree. Especially since Duke apparently changed his necklace for the movie. I know that because it looks a lot like the Legend of Zelda emblem, and some people had the actual Legend of Zelda emblem mis-tagged as Duke Devlin. Which sucks a whole lot for their SEO, and sucked a whole lot for me in my search to find a real actual Duke Devlin necklace.

Like, feel free to attach a link to a reply -- is there an official physical Duke Devlin necklace that Yugioh inc sells? Like I just want to know--officially--what the hell I’m looking at.

Anyway, back to the show, much like everyone else, these two are hopelessly lost.

Kaiba seems to keep forgetting that his Dad is clearly behind all this and would obviously have his old tech but like...Kaiba forgets so much I can forgive him this.

So, faced with roads that lead no where, Tristan decides to do his tried and true method of solving all of his problems.

And at the other end of the VR zone Tea is getting kidnapped after...being kidnapped by Noah while she was already kidnapped by Marik. This is three levels of kidnap, yes?

OH SHOOT IS THAT A ONCE DOOR. DID SOMEONE DO WHAT I HOPE THEY DID? OH SHOOT.

I will read their fanfiction start to end I swear to you I will do it if it exists and I will report back to you who dates Captain Hook and who is related to Henry Mills.

OMG It didn’t exist.

You have got to be kidding me.

I am beside myself, this is the only property known to man that has not been turned into a OUAT fanfiction.

Incredible.

That or I’m just really bad at searching for fanfics since I haven’t actually read any since my LiveJournal days. Like, when you’re basically immune to shipping, as I am, you just really lose the desire to read about 90% of fanfiction.

Anyway, the closest we have to a OUAT Yugioh fanfiction, to my knowledge, is that cap I made just now right there. Your welcome, Once community.

This is absolutely made of load-bearing drywall. Why do none of the sets of windows line up with each other and how many stories is this? Like 2.5? And you can stand on the roof I guess because it has handrails? It’s super weird.

Anyway, I just made a OUAT joke and maybe it’s because I knew shortly after we were gonna get--that’s right--an orphanage flashback. OUAT was basically 6 seasons of effed up orphan flashbacks so I feel pretty well prepared. Like bro was worried how I’d handle this filler but y’all, I watched the Lily arc in OUAT. I can do anything.

*slaps hands together*

Totes ready for these boys to have been given up for adoption via a magical tree and a memory curse, only to find out their real parents are 3 years younger than them because of a time loop. Make it weird, Yugioh!

Anyway, as always, if you want a link to read these from the beginning in Chrono order and without any comments and all that jazz here’s a link

[a-rdentlyy]

*finger guns* fuck vld s8 B)

I was incapable to do my final projects until I wrote down all my feelings. VLD is trash, but I’m sadly obsessed with it, dear god just end my suffering. Just to be clear, I also have some (very few) good things to say about this season but those will be at the end.

Cons

lol the whole fucking season

Pretty much everything concerning Lance was about Allura, nothing about his own personal growth except when talking to Keith

Sunset talk was romantic as FUCK and Keith spoke about how great Lance was and was just so fucking soft the whole time

Sitting at the table and confiding in each other about personal growth had me tearing up tbh

Literally episode one was extremely gay

Like, super gay

Lance and Allura have an awkward date, which was honestly pretty cute, EXCEPT for when Lance suddenly tells her he loves her and she’s just like “i mean ok i guess” and they kiss????????????

What the hell??????????

And why the fuck did Lance choose to seek solace in Keith when he was worried about his “date”??????? (hint: its gay fellas)

And then when Veronica asked about Keith and if he was single Lance literally freaked the fuck out for like 67493862988409 years

HUGE queerbait season and episode if you ask me :/

How the FUCK is Ezor still alive, I’m not complaining, but this was out of nowhere

The astral plane episode w the old paladins could have been so cool

Blaytz should have been with Lance, literally his whole speech about people underestimating him and “fucking having greatness within” is LITERALLY what Allura said to him in either season 5 or 6 (can’t remember and don’t really care about their interactions tbh)??????? Like??????? Give my boy some validation that isn’t centered around his romantic life?????

Alfor should have been with Allura. That’s her fucking dad and his whole “my daughter chose you cuz ur cool i guess” speech to Lance felt so flat and awkward, I hated it. Everything about Alfor’s speech would have been so much better if it wasn’t about how Allura liked him.

AND SHE DIDN’T EVEN CHOOSE LANCE, SHE CHOSE LOTOR AND SETTLED FOR LANCE BECAUSE HE WAS HER CONSTANT COMPANION

They did Lotor dirty, my trash son

Not a single bit of actual redemption

In the Honerva flashback episode could see how his parents tore him down. Zarkon destroying his first colony broke him.

Totally unresolved Lotura plotline. I really liked them together and they had genuine chemistry unlike the “main” bullshit ship of the season. Allura first tries to kill him in her nightmare and then immediately trusts him after he says like 2 words????????? Girl ain’t over her ex.

So was he actually evil and was really sucking out quinessence or was that plotline just never touched upon, cuz he tried to explain what was happening in s6 but was never really allowed to speak?????

The Altean colony was never really resolved???????

Like, who’s running it now??????

Altean/Farmer Lance

Don’t even talk to me about this shit

What the FUCK is with him suddenly becoming Altean????? Like, if he had, you know, some Altean descendents and his little markings were suddenly activated then i’d kind of get it

Also Lance has Altean markings now, because we just can’t let Lance move on from Allura and be happy can we

This ending was SUCH BULLSHIT. Lance has always wanted to be a pilot but now that some girl he liked is dead he wants to live on a farm w his family?????

I’m still not done with how they won’t just let Lance move on from Allura and be happy

He lives on Altea, of all places, so he’ll see her people everywhere

He has fucking Altean markings so he’ll be reminded of her every time he looks at himself in the mirror

Honerva seemed like such a good, complex villain but they just made her goal so fucking dumb

I figured she’d want to get Lotor back (which I dug because I’m always here for mother’s love n shit) plotlines, but suddenly she’s trying to get to an alternate universe?????? The fuck?????

And what the hell happened when she actually went to the AU, what the actual fuck

What a bitch, she’s still pissed at Allura even in this alternate reality

Lol AU baby Lotor telling Honerva how she sucks is incredible

Klance

Fucking gypped

So much build up

Where the hell is the “slow burn” endgame for Lance?????? Definitely not with Allura, that shit was rushed as hell

Literally so much chemistry between Keith and Lance

Allurance

I don’t actually hate Allurance

The writers just suck at doing their job and making good romantic relationships

Literally cringed at every scene where Allura and Lance interacted tho, it just felt so forced

When Lance said “my girlfriend” I actually had to stop watching and had to take a solid half hour to recover (I’m not even joking), it was the worst thing I had ever heard

HELLA rushed “i love you” to Allura. Lance, she’s the fucking best, I agree, but dude. You honestly don’t even really know each other that well (the demi in me is coming out lol)

Allura never once responded to Lance saying I love you until the very end, and even then it felt more like a platonic “I love who you are” deal. She definitely didn’t love Lance like he cared for her.

She even ended up dying and walked towards Lotor at the end, she still chose Lotor over Lance at the very end

And we just can’t let Lance have anything nice, can we

Lotura

“He was happy with you” fuckin Honerva speaking the truth for once

Literally one of the best ships that crashed and burned for no reason

Through this entire season you can still see Allura isn’t over Lotor

Allura, they did you so dirty as well

My wife

I’m so sorry for what they did to you

This amazing survivor of genocide that thought that she was the last survivor was killed off

They also ruined ur character tho, the real Allura would never have basically tortured the real Zarkon without quintessence poisoning

And you would have realized you don’t actually love Lance like that

Those goodbyes actually destroyed me at the end tho

“I’m gonna miss you Allura” BITCH ME TOO, THE FUCK

Shiro’s goodbye made me tear up the most

So she can create infinite realities because of her sacrifice except for one where she lives???????

And who’s leading the new Altea????? No one???? They never explain what happens with the actual colony that Lotor made and the current timeline

Holy shit I just realized we never actually found out if Lotor survived the quintessence field or not

I mean, almost certainly didn’t

But still, that shit’s important to tell us

Looked like a hawk carrying away a baby mouse

Shiro’s wedding was fucking bullshit

Like finally he can be happy

But god, give us fucking SOME development that isn’t damage control

At least I liked whoever he married in those background scenes despite never learning his name

MATT’S HAIRCUT IS A TRAVESTY at the end

He looks way better with long hair

What the fuck was with the lions just dipping??????????

Tbh that shit made me cry

And now they’re just chilling out in space??????

Pros

The beginning of the season was actually surprisingly really good? Like, I was nearly invested the whole time up until episode 8?????? And then it got fucking insane and weird with no explanation.

THE ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS

Baby Lotor was so fucking cute, I adore him.

Those small Klance scenes killed me

Keith supporting and validating everything Lance has done and just being a great bf in general

That romantic ass sunset scene (you CANNOT tell me that shit was platonic)

We could have had it all yo :(

Surprisingly really liked Kinkade’s vlog episode, it made me like the MFE pilots

I didn’t care about them at ALL in s7 but now I like them more

Just Kinkade and Rizavi tho

Some tasty VeronicaxAcxa shit

That’s lesbian activity

Thank god Bex was right when she said Kacxa wasn’t gonna be a thing

Old Paladin’s were pretty cool except for the bullshit talking

BAD. ASS. VOLTRON/ATLAS FUSION.

Thank GOD Galra Emperor Keith wasn’t a thing

Coran keeping Allura’s memory alive keeps me alive

HIS TOAST TO HER HAD ME CRYING

THEY REALLY WERE FAMILY

Thank god it doesn’t seem like Lance is insanely depressed a year after Allura’s death, this kid needs closure and to move on and find some semblance of happiness that doesn’t revolve around romance

Small Klance moments at the end

That fucking reunion at the end made me cry

At least we got a mlm kiss, even though it’s garbage :)

List of Those Done Dirty

ALLURA

Lance

Lotor

Shiro

Adam

The Whole Fucking Fandom

All in all, fuck v slur, 3/10 for the season and 4.5/10 for the whole show. Seasons 1-3 are the only canon seasons. Except for parts of Season 5 and 6. Those can stay.

Also Klance is Canon King.

[subasekabang]

Title: Anything To Make you Stay, Chapter 2 Rating: T Word Count: Total: 15,761, chapter: 1,311 Characters: Joshua, Neku, Shiki, Eri, Beat, Rhyme, Hanekoma, Kariya, Uzuki. Pairings: Josh/Neku. Warnings: Suicide, Major Character Death, Depression, semi-detailed depiction of dead bodies, mentions of ableism, one minor allusion to transphobia Summary: Joshua and Neku have been best friends since they were 11, but their friendship starts to fall apart after Joshua goes missing for a week, soon after his 14th birthday. Lies corrode the bond, and Neku’s vivid nightmares of finding someone’s dead body does not help. A year and a half later, they hit the boiling point. Always look before crossing the road, kiddos. Author’s Note: Autistic Josh and Neku! Afab demiboy Josh! Agender Rhyme! Usage of sign language! This was a fun fic to write please enjoy it.

Chapter 2:

The past week and a half had been a blur. There was school, there was homework and art, but when Neku thought about it, there was a fuzzy feeling to the memories, a static that he couldn’t think through. There’d been something wrong, something off about it all. Unwarranted feelings of despair and panic, fearing memories slipping away, nightmares of Joshua with a gunshot wound through his head.

Neku stares at the ceiling from his position laying on his bed. He makes images out of the popcorn texture, finding hidden shapes because the sense of wrong in his head needed to be ignored.

The unease plaguing his mind faded as he heard the familiar text alert he’d set for Joshua. He sat up, grabbing his phone and smiling at the new notification.

^Hey, sorry for disappearing. Parents grabbed me for a trip, didn’t let me grab my phone to let you know. Back now. I missed you, wanna hang out?^

^Your parents are awful. I’ve been worried about you! Yes I want to hang out I haven’t seen you in /ages/!^

^They really are. Meet up at the Udagawa mural in half an hr?^

^If I meet them I’d be tempted to punch them. Sounds good, see you soon!^

Neku stands, pocketing his phone with a grin on his face for the first time in a week.

He gets to the mural as fast as he can, finding Josh leaning up against the wall nearby already. He waves a hand at his friend. “Hey Josh!”

Josh looks up from his phone, and huh, he looks a bit worn out. Hair less cared for than usual, dark circles under his eyes, complexion paled. Neku takes off his headphones so he can listen better if Josh decides to speak, but what he hears throws him for a loop.

Joshua sounds different.

Everybody had a distinct sound, and it never changed like this. Josh blended in with the backdrop of Shibuya more than ever now.

He slows, stopping by Josh and blinking a few times. “You alright? You seem a bit tired,” he says, to play off the surprise.

“I’m fine, I just–” Josh stops, frowning, before raising his hands. [Tired. You know?]

“Long trip?” Neku asks, sitting on the ground, and Josh follows suit.

[Yeah. Too many people, too many expectations to be the perfect kid. Wanted it to end.]

Neku sighs. “Sounds terrible. No touch day or yes touch? Cuz if you want a bit of cuddling I’m down for that.”

“Yes, that would be…” he struggles with the word for a moment. “Good.”

Neku scoots closer and wraps an arm around Josh as soon as he has permission to. They both sit in silence for a few minutes, just breathing and enjoying each other’s presence, before Neku speaks up again.

“Don’t disappear on me like that again, please. Like, I know your parents are awful and you can’t control that, but I was terrified. Everything felt wrong and I was worried. Promise me that, even if you disappear, you’ll always come back?”

“I promise,” says Josh. There’s no hesitation in his voice, no pause to weigh the words and create the response. It’s automatic, and he means it.

“Thanks. I mean,” he continues, “who knows what I’d even do without you? You’re my only friend.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. I will always be here when you need me.” Josh smiles, looking up at Neku with soft eyes. “I care about you so much, never doubt this truth.”

“Nerd,” Neku says, chuckling as he pulls Josh closer. “Thanks though. It means… a lot, to hear you say that. You can always count on me, too, ya know, right? I’ll be here whenever you need me, or whenever you just want to hang out and vent about your parents.”

“I know. We’ve got each other, that’s not going away.”

There’s a pause in the conversation. Josh closes his eyes, leaning on him, and Neku can’t help but stare at the sight of the wind blowing through his hair, a gentle breeze flowing by. In the distance, he can hear the noises of cars and people and the city, but this is their hide-out, a backstreet seldom traveled by others unless they come to see the mural.

Joshua is beautiful. Even worn out and overwhelmed from his recent trip, he still holds an air of elegance about him. The setting sun gives color to his otherwise white hair, illuminating his skin, and Neku wouldn’t be surprised if he gave off a soft glow, because of the aura Josh had.

It’s January, but it’d been a warm day. Yet even so, Josh had opted out of wearing a jacket, seemingly unbothered by the cold in a short-sleeved shirt and jeans. When Neku notices this detail, he frowns, and takes off his jacket to drape over Josh.

He blinks his eyes open, looking up at Neku. “What’s that for?”

“You’re gonna freeze to death with the way you’re dressed. I at least have long sleeves.”

“Long-sleeved shirts are the bane of my existence. I will never wear one.” Josh pouts at him, and Neku can’t help but laugh.

“I know, but you still need to stay warm, hence the jacket. It’s looser than long sleeves, but does the job.”

“…Thanks,” he says, and silence falls between them again.

It’s a nice sight, he can admit to himself. Josh wearing his jacket. Feelings stir in his stomach, a swirling whirlpool of admiration and protectiveness and love. He has to stop to analyze that last one, shutting down the part of himself that’s started to grow, to wish for something different in their relationship. Neku shushes that voice, because this friendship is very nice, thank you very much, and he doesn’t need weird romantic impulses to ruin this for him.

“I’ve been meaning to ask… Wondering if it’d be okay or not, really,” Josh says, “if you’d be alright with me doing your sign name, the initials, over my heart. I mean, you’re the most important person in my life, and it’d mean a lot, but only if you’re okay with it…”

This isn’t helping, Neku thinks. The cacophony of confusing emotions want to leap in joy at the idea, but of course Josh would want this, they’d been friends for years now, each other’s closest people, it doesn’t have to be romantic.

“I, uh…” he takes a breath, and he’s gotta be blushing bad, the red staining his cheeks. “That’d be alright. I like the idea, actually, but only if I get to do the same for you?”

Josh elbows him in the side, no force behind it. “Of course, silly. It’d go both ways. I don’t see why you wouldn’t be allowed to do it.”

Neku smiles. “I’m glad. I’d been thinking about asking you, actually.”

“Well it’s good I brought it up then! You’re horrible at bringing subjects up.” Josh laughs, and Neku laughs too.

“Rude, and here I was just about to say we should go watch the latest Tin Pin episodes back at my place. You’ve missed two, my dude, and I’ve been waiting to watch with you.”

“Sounds like a good plan, let’s go!” Josh jumps to his feet, pulling Neku up with him.

“Someone’s eager, nerd,” Neku says, teasing.

“Well, as you mentioned, I haven’t seen the latest episodes, and it’s more time hanging out with you.”

They start walking towards Neku’s apartment. His mom wouldn’t be home until late at night. It was perfect for an evening of TV watching and snacking from the fridge, just the two of them.

Seeing Josh get so excited made Neku’s heart flutter, and he couldn’t help smile as he watched Josh flap his hands and bounce. He’d never give this up for anything. In this moment, nothing could go wrong.