#[ this blog is deader than my future ]

[daemondaes]

never an end—only a pause

      hi hello i'm sorry i haven't been around much. i kept trying to be around, but life got in the way. then i started coming back, but was discouraged because my dash has been deader than dead? it felt like coming back to an empty house...so i started slipping away again. then, when my creativity cravings were at their strongest (now), my health took another nosedive (and so i've had a headache for four days straight). i really, really wanted to do a series of individual posts with little doodles thanking some of the people i've made particularly strong connections with this year, but because i can hardly look at the screen, i'm doing a mass/gen post instead. so that's this.

      despite everything, i keep getting pulled to tumblr again and again and again. without you, that wouldn't be possible. without you, this blog wouldn't continue to exist. the stories on this blog are just as much yours as they are mine, because roleplay, by its very nature, is collaborative. someday, if i ever do manage to publish the individual (or collective!) stories of the characters on this blog in one way or another, they won't necessarily follow the same paths as their stories do on here. i have arcs and beats in mind, but on tumblr, they're more malleable. you have the power to change them for better and for worse. you might even make me reconsider what i thought was set in stone, or help me reach a new understanding of characters that i thought i knew as surely as i birthed them.

      roleplay can be such a special form of writing, wholly unlike any other kind of storytelling, and i could never for a moment forget all the bonds i've made with so many people here. i've met wonderful writers from all across the globe, and with the power of imagination alone, our lives have become indelibly linked through the worlds of our characters. that's such a magical, peculiar sort of intimacy that might seem mad to outsiders, and in many ways, they'd be right.

      roleplay, particularly on tumblr, is such a masochistic act of love, but i don't for a second regret the time i've spent here with you all, and i hope i can be here more consistently in the coming year. 2024 marks year 12 since i transitioned to writing on tumblr, and in the past months, i've managed to rediscover people who i met in the earliest days of my journey here. i hope you know how elated i am to see you still here, writing, even if we only peer at each other from across the room. i hope we can continue to write together, or at least near each other, for many more years to come. for those of you who i've yet to form much of a bond with, this is going to be our year! for those of you who i haven't yet met at all, this is me throwing a penny into the wishing well, asking the universe to bring us together.

      this blog was built by you. i was built by you. let's build the future together.

[bookofmormonmemes]

nephrite...........,,,,,,,,,,,.nephite...............................,,,..,..wow the foreshadowing in this show..................,.,.,.,.,.,,,,..,,..,.,.,........

[redux-iterum]

Now that you've elaborated on the cats you hate, could you do the same for your favorites?

Can do! And I'll answer you in this post, other anon.

Rock: This is total bias on my part - it has nothing to do with his personality or actions in the books. I just absolutely adore unsettling, ugly, vaguely eldritch characters who have lived as long as time has existed and are on an entirely different level than the rest of the characters. I don't even remember any of the shit Rock did in canon, just his potential as a mysterious force and a creature living in visions. It's so fuckin' cool. I love it.

Hollyleaf: I've gone into detail about her here, so I won't repeat all that. The bottom line is that she's a genuinely good character who had a lot going for her narratively that just got thrown out the window because of the writers' terrible decisions and lack of foresight. Every one of these picker pictures I've seen has had her on there as a favorite, so that should say something.

Monkeystar: God, she's such a delight. WarriorClan is full of dorky little kids playing like they're big bad scary fighters, and the biggest dork of all is at the head of it. And her name is Monkeystar. You look me dead in the eye and tell me that's not the best god damn thing you've ever read in this series. How could I not love her?

Yellowfang: I've also been over her a lot, so here's a couple posts from me going into detail about her. For a short version, she's a really unique character (and a pretty darn well-developed one) in all of the history of the Clans, and her getting ruined is one of the top five greatest tragedies in this series.

Thrushpelt: Simply put, he's a good guy who deserved so much better than he got. He's kind, polite, one of the rare toms who isn't a dick about having a crush on a molly, and he puts his own wants to the side to help out people he cares about. I still wish he got a mate in StarClan so that he didn't have to always be known as "the guy that Bluefur completely ignored for a one-night-stand with an asshole".

Sol: This one's just for his potential. He has a lot going for him - a male tortoiseshell who can scramble psychic abilities, predict an eclipse, and effortlessly manipulate everyone around him (at least in the third arc; I hear he lost a lot of that in the SkyClan SE)? That's such a cool concept! And he gets away with all the shit he pulls! He could've been the best villain in the series. I also elaborated on him on the old blog, if you want more details.

Bristlefrost: This one's pretty simple; Bristlefrost is just a good character who had a genuinely interesting arc and struggles that were weirdly well-written for this series. Her deader-than-dead status pisses me off so much. Couldn't they have killed Rootspring instead? Bristlefrost has way more going for her than that twerp.

Stemleaf: Bear in mind that it's not so much that I love him as it is that he's one of the few cats in the series I don't feel slightly negative indifference or outright dislike for. The list kind of ran thin at this point. Anyway, Stemleaf's a good kid! Like Thrushpelt, he's nice, honest, and overall pleasant to read. I like his drive to do the right thing and stand up to people in power. It's a shame that led to his death, but by that point I think he did pretty much all he had to do, so I'm not mad about it.

Heavystep and Loudbelly: Have you ever loved a character in this series solely based on their name? That's these two. You'll see more of my love for these two in the future.

[ladyofpurple]

hi hello still not entirely dead if anyone cares but basically i really like filing things and organizing and stuff so im gonna reblog all my recent and not so recent dnd stuff onto one of my saved urls and just post that stuff there. yeah ive always had one of those tumblrs that spams for weeks abt one subject and then after a random stretch of radio silence immediately shift into something completely different without warning but tags about general categories like "writing reference" and "dm resources" were always primarily a way for me to be able to keep track useful stuff for later and they've gotten so big and the categories so vague that it's really hard to actually find anything anymore. i started using my fic blog to reblog Writing Moods and references or tips with more specific tags so they can actually do what they're supposed to do and also stop clogging my fandom/personal blog with random shit that i realistically won't be able to find again anyway as things are rn

so if anyone cares i'll be doing some Housekeeping for a while (not deleting posts necessarily just reblogging myself) and then in the future just reblog any dnd stuff on there instead. except for cr/taz/any other dnd show fandom stuff obviously bc otherwise this blog would be even deader than it is now

ill reblog this later w a tag/link to the other blog so people can follow it if they wanna hear me scream about my ocs i'll probably never get to use or complain about not getting enough of my irl friends hype enough to run a campaign in the same timezone

[helshades]

If one were following you for Thor meta and general discourse, and less for politics and perfumes . . . would it be worth still following? ^_^() I'm reluctant to unfollow, as I adore your stuff, and don't want to miss out if you return to older content, but equally there seems little point following, if it's a permanent change?

There was a lot of political content in my general Thor discourse, though, and it didn’t concern only Asgard...!

But where froggish politics go, and perfume (you heathen!), well, if you remain uninterested, why not simply blacklist the relevant tags? Lots of other people do it, with XKit it’s wonderfully easy and you shan’t be exposed to any content other than, say, Asgardian silverware.

That being said, no, it’s not a ‘permanent change’, although if I ever stop ranting about French politics, you’ll know that I’m dead, but it’s not entirely my fault if the state of the Thor fandom is currently deader than prospective-dead me. Also I still haven’t purchased the Ragnarök DVD and that means I don’t have a good copy of the film to screencap for illustrative purposes. Last but not least, the crux of my Asgard-friendly fanbase has grown out of fandom, has tired of fandom wars around Loki, hated Ragnarök, hates Disney, or just never thinks of prompts to send my way... I’m more than a bit nervous concerning the future of the franchise, too.

In the meantime, though, some froggish politics shall be happening, because we’re currently playing against our government for the future of our entire country and this is a little bit important to me. Think of it like that: if I end up on the streets of Lyon, there will be no more Asgardian content on my blog. At all.

[therushingwanderer]

Ramblings about Bakugou and my future here

Ok, first things first, I'm sorry for spreading anti-Bakugo salt here on my main blog. Tbrh, this is the only blog I have, and I've considered several times in the past to open a side blog exclusively for my art. But, with Tumblr being deader than ever (most of the new followers I've got in the last few months were just porn bots and spam in general), and the possibility of PH buying this site, I feel like this would be an unecessary effort. As in matter of fact, I'll be making sure I can find a way to follow all my favorite artists somewhere else (fortunately, a few of then are on Pixiv, my favorite art site currently, despite me not being THAT much into anime/manga), because if PH do ends up buying this place, there's a high chance of me deleting this blog and moving over to Instagram.

Well, as for Bakugou, you might be wondering, why do I hate Bakugou so much? I mean, yeah I know he's just a fictional character, but thing is, he's a painfully reminder of all the physical and mental abuse I endured because of bullies like him, back at school, and it's so jarring to see most of the fandom praising him like he's a good character and that he changed so much, since he really didn't. And look, just to be clear: it's very, VERY rare for me to hate fictional characters in such intensity. He's the exception, NOT the norm!

Actuallly, for my old followers here's an advice: if you're tired of me complaining about this character, blacklist the tag #anti bakugo, which is the tag I use to reblog/post criticism about him.

So TL;DR: I post/reblog anti-Bakugou salt here because I don't have another blog to do so, and I'm not planning to create another blog because Tumblr is dying, therefore making the extra effort unecessary, and I might leave for good if PH, or something similar, buy this site.

[vasaregemvarus]

Alright all the drama posts have been deleted and not because a certain dumbass decided to get around me blocking them and tried to settle things with an im from another blog tried to get me to do it.

I don’t want to agitate anyone and going back and freaking out. The drama is done, it’s over. Don’t mention it to your mutuals, don’t make a post about it. It’s gone. Dead. No longer of this plane. It’s deader than Jimmy Hoffa.

I am leaving up the psa because it’s something that needs to be said. If someone blocks you don’t try to contact them on another blog. Also don’t try to accuse them of stalking cause it looks hypocritical. 

Again I’m not going to tell people to choose. That’s not my right. I’m not your God, nor do I want to be. You are free to interact with who you wish. I can block them and throw them on blacklist. And if anyone tries to force you to choose...punch them in the throat. Fuck them they’re not worth your time by being a drama monger.

I’m going to edit my rules accordingly: Anon is going to be off for a while. I apologize to those who may want to use it in the future. I might give it a month or a few weeks before I enable it. Depends on how safe I feel.

I also apologize for all the drama. I am feeling a little better, thanks to talking to a few friends on discord. And giving some old clothes away.

TL;DR: The drama is dead and over. Don’t mention it and give people more power. Let’s just return to normalcy and rp. If you have to talk about it, take it to ims and discord that’d be better, yeah?

[ciaossu-imagines]

Honestly, I think you should ultimately do what you want & you'll enjoy the most. I'll be sad, but if closing down the blog is what's best for you, I'd much rather you be happy than straining yourself for something that doesn't bring you joy! I'm not always confidant about expressing myself, but I love you & your work! It's one of the absolute best out there and always makes me happy! ❤️ Personally, I'm good w/you expanding the blog! I think it'd be fun to see your writing for other fandoms!

Okay, to avoid spamming everyone’s dashes or cluttering the blog, I decided to answer all these in one posts! It’s not because I didn’t appreciate each and every single comment and message - I truly did. You all are great and I thank you all for your support! Simply trying to make things a bit easier!

@kaladork - Okay, first off, you’re just adorable! You’re so sweet - thank you so much for your kindness! (I don’t think I’ve had anyone tell me I’m funny in a long time so that was really frigging refreshing and amazing to hear! Thank you!) You’re so supportive and I really appreciate it, both now and during the past two years on this blog! I appreciate the feedback too - it’s great to hear from someone who’s been following as long as you have and I definitely took your opinion into consideration while thinking about my final decision!

@crazyforanimeboyz - Thanks, as always, for being so quick to interact with me and for your support! You’re very kind and I really appreciate your feedback and support! I definitely kept your support and encouragement in mind while thinking about what to do!

@going1582 - Martha, you’re just so amazing! I can’t say it enough! I adore you and thank you so much for being such a good friend! Knowing you’ll support me no matter what (and the fact that you’re my only follower on my fanfic account!) was a huge relief! I know I’ll always have an audience in you and that is wonderfully relaxing!

@katekyo-bitch-reborn - Thank you as always for your support! I appreciate it and you a lot and definitely took your message to heart! Thank you again!

@Anon #1 - Thank you for your kind message! It was a nice surprise to see people still enjoying this blog and wanting to support me and you were so kind about it! Creating content for fandoms can be really rewarding but it is really hard at times and it was nice to hear that be acknowledged. Thanks so much for that. As far as a main blog goes…well, I do have one but it’s deader than this blog and kind of a trash heap?

@Anon #2 - Thank you so much for the sweet message! It really is great thing to hear that you enjoy my writing and it makes me happy to hear you support me so nicely even though you’re a new follower! Thank you again - I kept your words in mind while thinking of what to do and hope your good luck wishes will come true!

@anon #3 - It was really great to hear from someone who’s been in the same sort of situation as I was facing. Thanks so much for sending in the message - it gave me a lot to think about! You’re very kind and I thank you for the support!

Now onto the news!

I have made a decision. Or at least, I’ve made a decision for now. As the last anon said, switching between the ideas is fine. So, I’m going to try this. I’m going to be doing some work on the blog tonight and tomorrow - updating the masterlist, doing some work on the rules and layout and all that sort of stuff because I’ve decided to go the multi-fandom route. I’m hoping that will help bring me back to loving this blog and writing for it again! I’m sure going to try hard and I thank you all for your support! If it doesn’t work…well, we’ll cross that bridge then but for now, I’m going to believe it will!

I’ll be posting some prompts in a little bit - just quick and fun things to write while I work on the blog itself! I’m hoping you guys will enjoy them and look forward to the future of the blog alongside me!

[smoldinopup]

Jonghyun - The Letter - 2017.06.14 - Fan account

Epic Fan Account of Doom…or Fluffiness (but that sounds less cool)

People who follow my blog attentively might know that I flew to Seoul on Monday to see Jonghyun in concert on June 14, because I only mentioned it like 14142112313 times on here. This trip went as smoothly as room tempered butter on a piece of toast. Pics and a video of my trip and some fun facts can soon be found on my travel blog, but no one cares about that now, right?

Let’s get to the actual content of this post *whips out her non-existent kazoo to play a song*

@krge @gone-with-the-bling, because you two wanted to read it! ^^

I went to SM Town at noon to buy some merchandise. I had typed down everything I wanted on my phone to make things easier for me as well as the staff working at the merchandise stand. When I arrived shortly before 12 around 30 people were already waiting in line (or more like sitting on the floor). Luckily they played Jonghyun and SHINee videos throughout the waiting time on some huge screen, so the time until 1pm passed really quickly. 

It was my turn after only 10 minutes, but by then the kazoo was already sold out, which still shocks me. Not every person in front of me bought one so I’m still wondering how many SM actually sold? 15? I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they only sold a handful of kazoos. I already read several fan accounts that they were quite short on some of the merchandise in general, but I thought it would get better in week four. Apparently not…I’m still meeh about it, because the kazoo was the one thing I looked forward to the most. Anyway, I got my merchandise (I went a little wild *coughs*. Random side note, the T-shirt is such good quality! I’m in awe and will never take it off again! Especially compared to those flimsy T-Shirts with that ridiculous sizing they had for the FIVE tour in Japan, Jonghyun’s T-shirt can only win.) 

Left side: Jonghyun’s T-shirt (free size) Right side: SHINee’s FIVE T-shirt (size S). The thing with the FIVE T-shirts, before you wash them the print looks beautiful because it’s holographic. After washing it this effect is gone. The material is also much thinner than the one they used for the Jonghyun T-shirt, and the sizing was ridiculous. Those T-shirts were super short as you can see in the photo, but super wide (it’s like a crop trop in a way) I don’t even know how Minho wore that T-shirt with his long upper body. Jonghyun’s T-shirt on the other hand... I mean you want to wrap yourself up in it and pull it down to your knees (which I can’t, because I’m too tall, but smaller people can wear it as a dress, which is adorable). They were produced in different countries, which might be a reason for the difference in quality. I don’t know, but SM please produce your Japanese tour shirts somewhere else in future!

After taking photos with the shining babes at the photo booths (SM ships 2min and Jongkey…just saying) I went back to the SM merchandise shop to buy some more SHINee merchandise and then did some sightseeing around Seoul before coming back at 7pm for the actual concert that started at 8pm.

I sat in the left block in the third row, which was amazing, and I wish I had been able to stenograph during this whole concert to capture all the details as soon as they happened like

[Jonghyun perked his eyebrow | Dead | He just growled | Deader | He smiled | Deadest]

But yeah, that didn’t happen. So please bear with me, I try to write it down as accurately as I can remember it, but like I already mentioned in my ‘fan accounts’ for the SHINee concerts I’m only human (an old one on top of that) and I can’t possibly remember everything (even if it breaks my heart). So please be aware that the following passages will be filled with a lot of cringe worthy love that I feel for this adorable human being. 

You have been warned! 

So, grab a snack, make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride. I should just write this like a fan fiction…lmao (maybe not)

The opening VCR was him riding in a car and then walking along the beach. The presentation of the video was so nicely done, because they switched screens from left, to middle, to right as Jonghyun walked along the beach, so the audience basically followed him in his steps. He also looked astonishingly beautiful in that VCR, but let’s be real…when doesn’t he look astonishingly beautiful. The VCR was shot together with the video to ‘Lonely’, because the beach and the outfit he wore were the same as in the music video.

We stood up for the opening songs, which is always nice of course, but also made me very uncomfortable, because I was a head taller than anyone else in my block, and I constantly worried that people behind me might not be able to see the stage that well. Sorry people who sat behind me, I can’t do anything about my height T_T. Like I mentioned above I was sitting in row three, but I forgot my glasses at the hostel and therefore Jonghyun was still a little fuzzy around the edges, and I naturally tilted my head to look at the screen from time to time (force of habit…which I acquired during the Japanese concerts). 

Jonghyun wore a white T-shirt instead of the red one for the opening stage. Something like one, two, three Seoul Youth was written on it. But I’m not completely sure if that’s completely accurate, so don’t nail me down on it. 

Just like the red T-Shirt he sleeves of the white one had been generously cut off. However, I sat on the wrong side and only caught a glimpse of the tattoo on his ribs. Pity! But better than the T-shirt were those jeans! His jeans were torn in all the right places and whenever his legs moved one could see the muscles nicely contract in his thighs (is that too detailed, I wonder?) Anyway, I can attest that the boy got some booty and thighs now (@every-person-who-has-an-url-talking-about-jjongs-non-existent-butt-might-consider-an-url-change). I have to admit that I spent the majority of the first three songs with looking at his thighs and butt. I’m sorry, Jonghyun. Please forgive me my rudeness! I’m just not used to seeing you having an actual booty.

There were dancers accompanying Jonghyun for a lot of the songs again. Though, while I thought they are a nice touch during the X-Inspiration concert, they often felt like too much for this concert series, and to me it didn’t feel like they added much to the performances. But that’s just my opinion, and I’m sure others loved the dancers. As I mentioned in my “I’m screaming into the void, but I have to scream anyway post” right after the concert, Jonghyun came to the left side of the stage in the beginning of ‘White T-Shirt’ and pointed into my direction while saying ‘You’re so rock n roll’. He could have also pointed at all of us, but let me have this one little moment of fangirl love and let’s all assume he did point at me, because I stood out the most in a lot of ways, and yes, I’m more rock n roll than even Mr. Kim will probably ever be, so it would have been very fitting. (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ lmao

So, that being said I was totally overwhelmed by all the fan chants. I mean sometimes I love doing them, but at other times it feels suffocating and too much, like I’m part of some Army? I have the Japanese SHINee fan chants down perfectly. You can wake me up in the middle of the night, play me a random Japanese SHINee song and I will do every fan chant perfectly (including synchronized fan light movements). I’m also quite confident in doing the Korean ones, but most of the Jonghyun ones just exhausted me. I can’t even remember if we did all of them in December? December is still such a blur. It’s a pity that I didn’t write everything down back then, because my brain is weak and so was my heart. Anyway, it took me a few songs to get into the right fan chant groove.

When the VCR to Rewind played I was shocked to hear Jonghyun speak German. I was like O.O ??? What is this foreign but familiar sounding language doing here? Is he Lady Gaga? There was Spanish, and Japanese as well…I wonder how he came up with using German and Spanish from all existing languages. Did he open Google and ask ‘How to count in different languages’ and he thought those are the fancy sounding ones? Or did Jonghyun think ‘Roo’s ancestors were German, so let’s go with some Rammstein vibes’. Either way I’m still not over it. Kim Autobahn you can speak random German words to me all day. The video was just like the song title… very repetitive. Jonghyun did the same things again and again. But I believe by now most have seen the snippet of the VCR that was posted a while ago.

I have to admit that I was a little disappointed in ‘Suit Up’. It is one of my favorite songs on the album. The band was way too loud and overpowered the softness of Jonghyun’s voice while singing the beginning of this song. The audio technicians should have changed the volume of the microphone or something since it’s never a good thing if the band is louder than the singer. As of the performance of the song, Jonghyun was rolled inside on some arm chair by some pretty female dancers who tried to ‘seduce him?’ I’m not sure, but they also stripped him off his purple jacket and his tie later into the performance, so I guess we can call it the art of seducing Kim Jonghyun. But like I’ve mentioned earlier while I loved the dancers during the concert in December, I felt like they didn’t fit the mood for the letter series, but do you do Jonghyun or SM, whoever decided that it’s a good idea to include dancers. He wore a purple suit during this segment by the way. There was a fan account that stated that he looked slimmer, because the pants fitted looser around his thighs than they had done before. I agree with that account since the pants indeed were a little looser, but I’m not sure this had anything to do with weight loss. Is it possible to lose so much weight around one’s thighs in a mere week? I don’t know. I don’t know. It also doesn’t matter…he looks beautiful no matter the shape or size! So, let’s move on.

‘Staring into Space’ was absolutely adorable, but I didn’t expect anything else, just watching him put on the robe and the little bed cap made everyone in the audience squeal in delight and him smile shyly in return. He knows he looks adorable in that outfit, but he still always acts surprised when the audience is more excited about him dressing up in cutesy outfits than seeing him undress himself. Anyway, the props for this performance stood on the left side of the stage. Some boxes, some lights, something he could sit/lie on. I’m not sure what it was exactly, something like a bench covered in pillows and a blanket? At first he only sat on it while singing, and I was already like…boooohh everyone said how adorable you get during this performance, don’t disappoint me now! As if he had heard my thoughts he lay down with that little dog plushie (that wore some polka dotted hoodie) and pulled down the sleeping mask, and then playfully tugged the mask down on one side so only one eye peeked out. You can imagine the squeals coming from all sides. He continued with pulling the other side down as well so his nose and his mouth were basically covered by the sleeping mask. It looked adorable. He’s such an adorable human being and he’s very aware of that. After the performance ended he got up to take the robe off and he was quite amused by the disappointed reaction of the audience, because everyone wanted to see him continuing the concert in that outfit. It’s definitely a look! Next SHINee comeback should include sleeping masks and robes.

For ‘Blinking Game’ some fancy looking lights were lowered onto the stage behind Jonghyun, and the scenery gave off the atmosphere of some fancy jazz club, and one only waited for a contrabass to start playing.

We used the hand bells for ‘Gloomy Clock’, and Jonghyun had a lot of fun altering the rhythm randomly to confuse the audience. Sometimes he really does act like a little kid, having the most fun by bringing mischief to the stage. But it shows how much he enjoys performing, and seeing him have so much fun, makes one’s heart feel really warm and fuzzy.

I’m quite sad that the talk segments were basically me sitting around and having no idea what Jonghyun was talking about. That’s what I personally like about the Japanese concerts, because there I understand most of the things they say, which is quite nice. But yeah, it’s not their fault that I don’t speak Korean. Anyway, before the cockroach song he looked for a couple again (apparently there was none…or no one wanted to out themselves) so he picked out some girl who had been single for a very long time. I only understood a few words, and tried to figure out the content of their conversation by clutching onto every straw that was thrown, and after that one fan account I was surprised to realize that I wasn’t that off with my speculations. It was really fun listening to their conversation, because that girl was very fierce (I loved her since she was not shy to voice her opinion) and ranted so much that she apologized several times when Jonghyun got all ㅎㅅㅎ--- O_O--- :’D and wondered why she sounded like she was mad at him. It was adorable. She mentioned Minho at some point, but I’m not sure what she said. Did she refer to him as her ideal type? I don’t know. 

The cockroach song was awesome live, and the animation of the cockroaches were so adorable! Especially when one cockroach was sitting on Jonghyun’s head. He got all embarrassed when he saw himself on the screen with that cockroach head on his, and started laughing. Speaking of little, embarrassed Jonghyun. He also got very shy when all the fans excitedly waved their fan lights around when he sung the now infamous lyrics of ‘Where are you?” You know the drill. It was amusing. But what else did he expect the reaction of fans to be when he wrote those lyrics? Probably no one is going to look at him in disgust when he sings ‘Where is the person who is going to kiss me?’ Are there any fan accounts about what Minho did during this part when he attended the concert yesterday? I expect Choi to jump up from his seat and point at himself!

The second girl he talked to was one of the people who sent in letters. I have absolutely no idea what the conversation was about, but she was very shy and said annyeonghaseyo very, very awkwardly and shyly and also sounded slightly bored on top of it (an interesting mix), which Jonghyun apparently found quite amusing and mimicked the greeting in the same awkward manner and tone. We can conclude Jonghyun likes to play and tease the audience. In general I got the feeling that he really enjoys talking to the fans, listen to their stories, and give them advice. It felt like group therapy session with Doctor Kim. For the talk segments he walked around the stage and when reading the letters he sat in an arm chair in the middle of it. At some point he was wearing a huge white shirt with a wide collar and some pretty necklace. It was such a nice and dreamy outfit. Did I mention how beautiful his eye make-up was done? His eyes looked so pretty and shiny, and… *inserts all the hearts*.

The stages I feared the most were the ones starting off with ‘Let me out’. I really thought I would start crying him a river right then and there, but luckily that didn’t happen. The prop for this stage consisted of some cocoon looking 2m tall foldable wall that surrounded him, and he wore all black with a black corsage like binder around his waist. Let me tell you that corsage did things to his figure. I mean we all know he has a tiny waist, but that binder only emphasized that, which made his shoulders and arms look massive while it made his waist look even tinier. Especially when seen from the side with the light falling onto him he looked like some statute in a museum. I think this was my favorite outfit of the night, because he just looked very dark and mysterious, but also very soft and beautiful at the same time. This guy is just a contradiction, but what else is new.

Like some fan accounts already stated the performance to ‘Let me out’ is quite intense and Jonghyun puts his everything into it, but just like with ‘Suit up’ the band overpowered him during the quieter parts, which is a pity. I don’t know if this was a general problem and just no one mentioned it until now, because fans tend to throw all form of critic out of the window as soon as they are graced by his presence or if the concert I attended was an exception. Maybe they should have arranged those songs differently, because performing them live requires some special attention in my opinion so the haunting feeling of the music and lyrics get across to the audience.  After ‘Let me out’ Jonghyun pushed the cocoon open and continued with ‘Elevator’, one of my all-time favorite Jonghyun songs. It was very powerful and I sat in the audience with goosebumps.

The duets between Jonghyun and Shawols were beautiful. He should consider recording a song with a bunch of Shawols as duet partners in future. I especially liked the Shawol duet to ‘Love belt’, because it makes it easier to yell ‘I NEED YOU. I LOVE YOU…HOLD ME’ at Jonghyun without seeming like a crazy person. (/・・)ノ

The VCR before the encore seems to change every so often and while it was a rice brand Jonghyun advertised last week, he did some advertising for a drink this week. He tried to act as if he was seducing that bottle in his hand, and ran it along his face and so on. It looked hilarious. I laughed so hard. I live for funny VCRs. After the video ended everyone’s head suddenly turned to the entrance of the theater, and I was like ‘What is going on? Why is everyone turning their head around?’ I figured out why around ten seconds later when Jonghyun came down the aisle on the left side for ‘Deja Boo’ and everyone started screaming. Holy guacamole I wasn’t ready for seeing Jonghyun that close. I thanked all existing Gods on this planet that I sat in the left block so he passed me only a few feet away and came to a halt right in front of my block. HE’S SO TINY!!!! *USES ALL CAPSLOCK IN THE EXISTENCE OF CAPSLOCK* AND SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Wow, I was so dumbfounded that I just stared at him like the weak fangirl I am. How do people survive fan signs? I mean yes, he’s just a normal human being, no need to put him on any pedestals (that’s 100% correct) but holy daisy…if he isn’t one of the most beautiful human beings I was able to lay my eyes on. His skin was glowing! If it had been me standing right in front of him in that first row I probably would have gaped at him without feeling any shame. He has just a very engaging aura. I mean it is one thing to see him up close on stage, but when he’s literally on eyelevel with you…oh my oh my…how do people manage to act all normal around him? Are they dying on the inside from all the tiny firework explosions and fan feels? Tell me your secrets survivors of the US fan meets!

Random anecdote: 10 years ago I met my back then favorite guitar player during a meet and greet and expected to die right then and there. However, I didn’t die and I carried a table with him instead and told him how tiny he is, which resulted in the singer laughing and saying ‘Well, what a nice compliment!’ Me being as smooth as a spiky cactus. So thinking about this fan girl episode of mine I probably would say something stupid instead of dying inside. But I matured, I wouldn’t call Jonghyun tiny to his face. I learned from this embarrassing episode that still haunts me at night sometimes.

The concert ended with ‘Fortune Cookie’ and ‘Beautiful tonight’. As always Jonghyun directed the audience during ‘Beautiful tonight’ and I looked at every kazoo around me in envy. I wanted to become a kazoo kid. I will forever be bitter about this. But I might just buy one from ebay and start my kazoo career anyway. No need for Jonghyun’s concert logo on this genius music instrument. I loved how he cherished every single person in the band accompanying him, and jammed along to every instrument. He played air bass guitar, it was so adorable and cute and I just wanted to pinch his cheeks and pat his head.

The ending of a concert always makes me feel very empty and this time was no different. As soon as Jonghyun left the stage I felt a wave of ‘So this was it. The final goodbye’. It’s always the worst part of a concert, because you just don’t want it to be over yet. The concert was a little over 2 hours, I believe, and everyone stormed out of the concert hall to wave Jonghyun goodbye at SM Town’s side entrance. When I arrived at SM Town that day I tried to figure out where all those ‘Arrival’ and ‘Departure’ photos had been taken, but I didn’t have to look long for it, because the entrance is right next to the actual entrance of SM Town. So, I followed the crowd and waited behind a barrier. I think at least half of the audience waited for him there, and most of them had their phones and cameras ready, already filming the door. Some of the girls even had little stools they could stand on so they could see the entrance better. He exited the building shortly after, waved into the crowd like usual and then disappeared into the waiting car. Nothing too dramatic…

It was a beautiful concert; very cozy and somehow very intimate. I for one belong to the group of people who prefer small venues, and I never understand why some fans have it as a goal to attend a Tokyo Dome concert at least once in their lives. I mean you do you, but it sounds more fun than it actually is. I already disliked the size of Saitama Super Arena with a little over 30.000 seats and I don’t want to imagine how a hall filled with over 50.000 must feel like. Yes, the ocean might look beautiful with 50.000, but it already looks beautiful with 500, so I don’t know what the big deal is…especially if you happen to only get a ticket on the fourth/fifth floor. But to each their own I guess. One needs to have a goal in life after all, and if it’s attending a SHINee concert, then that’s a really good one! So, you go Shawols! ^^

I should end this here, but I want to add a last note on the global packages. Last year I got a global package for the first X-Inspiration concert, because a) I didn’t know better b) his first concert was on my birthday and therefore I wanted to go there whatever the cost. As most of you know the global packages are very pricy to begin with, but in the case of the X-Inspiration concerts they also offered a lot in return, and you could choose the price category of the hotel. So after calculating everything, I thought, well the price is not too bad, and I still don’t regret buying that package, because it was a wonderful experience that I treasure a lot. However, this time the prices for the global packages were even higher, you couldn’t choose the price category, and they offered nothing at all except for the goodies. All I thought was ‘SM, what are you doing???’ This being said, if you have the money, just go for it, but if you are on a budget you might want to look around a little. There are trustworthy Korean sites which people use to resell their tickets and if you are lucky enough you might find a ticket to a reasonable price. The one I found was only 40$ more than the original price and was a seat in the third row, so I’m not complaining.

So, in conclusion: Did I have fun at the concert? Yes, I did! Was it enjoyable? Yes, definitely. Would I do it again? Oh yeah, anytime. There is just something about Jonghyun or SHINee as a whole group that makes me incredibly happy, and I’m very thankful that they never fail to put a smile onto my face.  ♡

Thank you! (♡＾▽＾♡)

[bap-time]

Introducing the B.A.P group chat on Discord 

If you’ve been around my blog for the last week or so you may have heard about the recently founded group chat for B.A.P stans. I figured I would give it a proper formal introduction on and a quick crash course on what it’s like.

If you’ve never heard of Discord it is a call-and-text service (much like Skype or Teamspeak) that has exploded in popularity in the last year. It provides users with the ability to have one-on-one calls or chats with others, as well as giving them the opportunity to create servers (like ours) for others to join.

If you’ve been looking for a place to get together with fellow BABYz to scream about B.A.P, or somewhere to discuss and share fanfics or art then you have come to the right post, my friend. As of the time of writing this the server is fairly small, but active, much like our fandom as a whole, and it is not hard to find people to chat and get comfortable with once you join.

If you do want to join the meme party then click the link at the beginning or the end of the post and make an account! Next is a quick introduction to what you can expect upon joining the server.

Once you make an account you should check out the #rules-and-guidelines channel where the mods outline what does what on the server. You'll also want to take a quick look at the #introduction channel and drop some quick info about yourself (including your preferred pronouns, please).

Then, feel free to check out the myriad of subject-specific channels we have, some of which are only loosely B.A.P related (such as the channel for posting pics of your pets, or the one for posting the results of personality tests (we have found a grand total of two extroverts so far)), or just go to the #general channel where most of the chaos is at any given time:

(trust me there’s more to the chat than vore jokes but it’s a meme about to become deader than Harambe)

If you right click your icon you will find that you can change your profile picture, set a server-specific nickname, and also see the roles you have been given. There are colour-coded roles based on pronouns to help people when talking to others in the chat, which is why we’d like you to include them in the introduction. Currently the colours are turquoise for she/her, lavender for they/them and light blue for he/him, but this may change in the future.

There are also 50 B.A.P emojis created by yours truly that you can use in the chat. There’s normal bap emojis as well as some very smol bap members, all of which can be found by typing : plus the members’ initials, “smol”, or the probably dumb name of the emoji. ex: :DH_smol_greypanther: | :DH_squish:

Discord is very flexible as a chat service and very easy to use. Just like on tumblr you can @ someone, which gives that person a notification (you can see your own @’s in the upper right corner of the web browser or the app. You can edit your messages (or add emoji reactions to other messages) by clicking in the rightmost area of said message.

Discord also allows you to format your text by adding the following symbols to your message:

*italics* **bolded** ***bolded italics*** ~~strikeout~~ __underline__ __*underline italics*__ and so on

(you can also prevent this by starting your message with \ )

If you are worried about being awkward or shy or anything like that then do not worry, almost everyone who have joined so far has had such concerns, but they’ve ended up being really glad they joined the server. We’re all there because of our mutual love for B.A.P, and we are all supportive of each other.

Join Young, Wild and Meme and party with the lame kids! :YJ_pineapple: