#[ the woman he grew up with might not have been his bio-mom. ]

[bouquetface]

astro notes 6

Accuracy is influenced by the ENTIRE chart. Having the same placements does not mean they will manifest in the same way.

Moon conjunct Lilith - there is usually something unique about your mother. depending on the entire chart this varies - ex: your mom has a different skin complexion from you & your father. people mistake her as not being apart of your family. or the woman you see as mother is not your bio mom - she is an adoptive mom, a step mom, etc. these are extreme examples.

Jupiter opposite Venus - any jupiter/venus aspect has potential to be very tricky. You can find it difficult to discipline yourself, you can be very indulgent where these planets are placed.

ex: Venus in 1st H - Jupiter in 7th H - this person is a cheater. they get bored easily.

ex: Venus in 2nd - Jupiter in 8th - this person has been in a lot of debt. they knew they should have begun saving and budgeting but they couldn't deny themselves small fun purchases. these all added up and they recently needed to borrow 1k+ from their parents.

Child (4580) asteroid conjunct Venus in natal - This person's child has Venus conjunct their ascendant.

Libra Moon - A negative manifestation of this is a a mom who was obsessed with your appearance and/or her own.

ex: This boy’s mom is indian. She grew up in a predominately white country. She had many insecurities about herself. She was obsessed with the child being white and having no indian features. The day he was born, one of the first comments she made was negative about him having an “indian nose”. She projected a lot of her self hate onto him. This is one of the reasons he keeps distance from her.

ex: This girl’s mom was always on diets during her youth. She was obsessed with the girl having been born a natural blonde when she was a brunette. The girl developed an alt-style in her teens, this includes dyeing her hair. Her mom hated this. She would constantly make negative comments because the girl refused to look the way she wanted her to. This is one of the reasons the girl hasn’t spoken to her mom in years.

Accuracy depends on the entire chart. In these cases, the moon was harshly aspected and 4th H contained malefics. Luckily, these observations won’t apply to most libra moons. however, i’m sharing for the few who might relate.

Libra Moon - Another negative manifestation of this placement is a mom who chooses romantic partners over her child. Ik a guy who says his parents got a divorce when he was 2, after that the mom went through 2 more marriages with toxic men. It felt to him she would prioritize these men over him. She was desperate for a romantic partner. It was quite a sad story. In his case, Libra Moon was afflicted.

IC IN 5th House - This appears in the chart’s of people ik who didn’t only grow up at home w their mom. Their parents were usually divorced and they grew up with 2 homes. Or they grew up living at their grandparents for a signifiant amount of time.

Saturn in 4th H - You could have a physically or emotionally distance relationship with a parent or the birthplace. You may felt very lonely in childhood. Accuracy would depend on entire chart.

Saturn ruling 3rd H/Cap or Aqua 3rd H - You could have developed communication very slowly as a kid. Unless there is a planet or aspect to Saturn influencing this.

VEDIC ASTRO - Upapada Lagna

imo UL should not be prioritized over D1 & D9. They should be read together. & D1 & D9 hold more power on what will happen in your life. Why I think this is because:

- ik someone who had a strong first UL but their d1 & d9 had many divorce indicators. They ended up getting a divorce.

- ik another who had a UL that indicates breakup and no marriage for their first relationship. This person was single their entire life prior to marriage. They genuinely didn’t even have friends of the opposite sex. D1 & D9 shows a strong & supportive marriage. They are 30+ years into their marriage. Personally knowing them very well, ik they aren’t going to get a divorce.

- The relationship UL shows can be difficult to define to one person. UL isn’t always the marriage partner, it can be relationships prior. When UL doesn’t indicate it, these relationships don’t turn into serious/committed relationships. I would like to know other people’s thoughts and experiences with UL. You may be able to experience the UL without even realizing it.

UL is better read alongside D1 & D9. D1/Natal is the sky you were born under, no other chart holds power over it.

[autumnfuzz]

Rashta's side story was just a dream

Ah damn it. When I first read about it, I mistook it as an alternative timeline but turns out it was just a dream. So Sovieshu having another woman as a mistress and Rashta working as Navier's maid was just her soul dream. Makes sense if you think about the arc. To Rashta, Sovieshu wanted a child and him having a drunken one night stand with a countess as revenge on Navier's supposed affair with he*nry was just her imagination of the situation. It was just a wish fulfilling dream unlike other side stories that actually happened in the canon. (RE has lots of side stories)

The children Side stories

Glorym aka Mote is revealed to be Sovieshu's child in the side stories. She grows up looking like Sovieshu, with white hair. Mote/Glorym also identifies herself as Rashta and Sovieshu's kid. Sovieshu later offers the throne to her but she declines. Sovieshu loves his child no less. He always harbours a great deal of parental love for his daughter.

Sovieshu has good relationship with Kai and Lari. He loves them both. He basically has the cool uncle relationship with them.

Evely side story

Evely has a sister named Dartha who was stolen by the bandits and grew up with them just like Glorym. Dartha also has healing power like Evely.

Evely regularly heals Sovieshu and later heals ergi's mom.

There's a scene between her and Sovieshu in the garden where she was crying and Sovieshu comforted her. Which made me uncomfortable cause it was oddly intimate. People were speculating that this might be the hint the hint of her being his future third wife. I HOPE NOT. THAT'D BE WEIRD.

Sovieshu sees her as just a kid. Yes in the main story, Evely at first thought Sovieshu brought her in the palace to be his concubine and outright asked him about it but Sovieshu laughed it off as the idea was too absurd. Why the writer is murking the water in the side stories? I wish I could understand Korean cause MTL is mess.

Anyway there are other side stories but they don't interest me.

And the last one is

Sovieshu's regression

Turns out Sovieshu's new arc has been well accepted among Navar readers. I like this one too. Sovieshu showed great character depth. Instead of dodging responsibility, he owned them. He admitted his fault instead of blaming others. He never discarded Rashta rather took care of her and Glorym. Well, even in main timeline he tried to give her multiple chances until it was too far gone. Anyway he never blamed Rashta for his situation rather blamed himself for not being more cautious about her. He corrected his fault in this timeline and warned her against Ergi and disclosed to her that he knew about her past. (Lots of could have been avoided in the main timeline if he told her he knew about her past). In the end he gave her a bigger palace to stay in with their daughter Glorym. He never went back to her as a lover.

And with Navier. Boy oh boy it was fun to see him grovel. He ate a giant humble pie. Rightfully so. Navier didn't forgave him easily. And I am glad Sovieshu didn't disrespect her. He never raised his voice against her and admitted that it was his fault alone for ruining their marriage. This arc is filled with cute moments between Sovieshu and Navier. Sovieshu finally admitted his love for her and Navier thought it just temporary. Sovieshu would have returned to original timeline if he didn't win her heart. As he remained with her in the new parallel timeline, it means Navier finally forgave him. The ending was also beautiful. Sovieshu treasured Navier for the rest of his life and them falling in love with each other again.

I'd have preferred if Sovieshu went back in time before Rashta arrived. But I guess author didn't want to erase Glorym. I love Glorym but don't like Sovieshu getting a second wife. The problem could have solved if Glorym was Allen's child but author complicated that by later turning Glorym into Sovieshu's bio kid in other side stories. Author wanted have her cake and eat it too with Sovieshu I guess.

Anyway Sovieshu's regression is the best arc in my opinion. It flows very well with the main timeline. Not a dream rather continuation of the main story. It happens after Sovieshu retired as an emperor and Lari is preparing for the coronation. In a way, it can be interpreted as the main ending too.

Finally the novel has come to its end.

[kyogre-blue]

*squints at windblume ch.3 in "started playing in 3.3"* I've no care for the hexaedron nor Alice, I only know her from teyvat travel guide and she was such a jerk in the Mondstadt edition. Also I have neither Albedo nor Klee so thank goodness I read up on them beforehand I guess

on the other hand I do find it very funny that Venti getting along with everyone everywhere (xinqiu, kazuha, xinyan, hu tao, yae miko, etc) also extends to those who hold violent intent towards him djdjd (though they really don't explain why the hexagon challenged Venti in particular out of all the archons...or when, bc Venti isn't easily found to posit a challenge to, nor known for his martial prowess if it was purely the hexhocuspocus' arrogance talking. Hope this is a plot thread that they will adress in the future but honestly getting a bit tired of seeing so many threads hanging—ik we're only halfway through the story but still. And NOT a fan of lore being locked behind a time-limited event)

That's not a recent player problem. The Hexenzirkel have never come up in the story before. They've only been mentioned in passing in some character voice lines and bios.

The only thing we knew about them was that they're a bunch of witches who sometimes study the Irminsul, and Alice and Mona's master and Albedo's creator were among them.

Note how this event directly confirms that the group itself is utterly irrelevant. Scarlett thought they were a secret council who can change the course of history, but in fact they're just some randos who happen to include three+ immortals. The entire thing is just spruced up but ultimately pointless pedantry to explain how certain future characters know each other. I'm fairly sure that the writers just thought the aesthetic of a witches' tea party was cool but had no actual use for this idea, so it's just set dressing, basically.

I'll list the members here, because it's easy to lose track... because all these characters are utterly unknown to us:

1) A is Alice, Klee's mom, "One who would never lie". Her amazing feats include killing a whole bunch of eternally cursed people in gruesome ways, cursing a man to only speak by repeating what is said to him while trying to cure his stutter, abandoning her young child and refusing to visit despite having time to screw around endlessly, damaging a location that is both historically significant and has a strong personal importance to others because it "didn't look old enough," and various other nonsense.

2) B is Barbeloth, Mona's master.

3) R is Rhinedottir, "A flower that is not of this world". She is Albedo's creator. But she also created the rifthounds and Durin, and 500 years ago, her (Gold's) monsters ravaged the world.

4) N is Nicole, "Guide who will never get lost". She's the one who speaks to the Traveler at the end of Scaramouche's thing. This entire event probably exists to facilitate her upcoming presence.

5) J is I. Ivanovna, the one who went back home (presumably to Snezhnaya) to get married. She's had many successors, of whom Scarlett is the latest, but Alice refused to acknowledge any of them. Probably irrelevant, since she's succeeded by a bunch of NPCs.

6) M is Andersdotter, "A legend that never ends". She's a human author who wrote the popular fairytale "The Boar Princess"

The thing I can't puzzle out is which one of them killed her lover when he grew old. By elimination, it seems to be Alice? It's not Gold, it's not woman Hans Christian Andersen, it's not Mona's master or J, so it has to be Alice, Nicole, or a secret other member, since this might not be all of them.

In regard to them challenging Barbatos, it's because this is a Mondstadt event and the writers wanted to have Venti involved. Aside from that, I guess it's to show their human arrogation ARROGANCE.

I can guarantee this doesn't matter at all, so you don't need to keep track of it.

[ofnari]

☆ welcome to infinite entertainment! it's CHO NARI, who is MAIN VOCALIST of FLORA. i’ve heard whispers that the 27 year old is pretty RESOURCEFUL but lowkey GUARDED. also, doesn’t she remind you of JENNIE KIM?

Hello darlings !!! This is Esme (21+, she/her) and I'm here with another kid (yeah, I know). Some of you might remember this muse from before (new name and face), but she's my baby and she has always belonged here in Infinite. 

There was a time when she was known as South Korea’s Little Sister, a child actress that was in a lot of dramas and was invited to many variety shows because she was cute and charming, and her quirkiness was adorable. But then she grew up and she wasn’t the cute girl anymore, so girl went and become an idol because it kinda just fell into her lap. She went with the flow not really knowing it was her father’s doing, but hey ignorance is bliss. 

But life taught her not everything's perfect. She's nothing like what people expect her to be when they see her. Once a happy and outgoing girl, she's now very closed off and shy, protecting herself from getting hurt again. The industry hasn't been kind to her, and it has made her wonder if a career as a singer and being part of a company that doesn't care about anything but money is what she really wants for her. If you want to plot message me at @offleurs or like this and we’ll figure something out !!!

BIO °° ABOUT °° PROFILE °° PINTEREST °° PLOTS

Childhood

She was born under the first full moon of july, in a year when said month started and ended with one, which was supposed to be hopeful, but it only was the beginning of her parents' downfall.

Was raised by her dad, and in part her brother since he is eight years older than her.

Her dad is Cho Sungmin, a known actor both in movies and dramas.

He married a non-celebrity woman against everyone telling him not to, completely in love that he didn’t realize she only wanted to secure the bag. Of course, it all went to hell at some point.

Her parents got divorced when she was three, hasn't heard from her mom since then.

Although his dad went through a lot during the separation/divorce/all around mess, he always made sure Nari had a happy childhood.

Doted on from the moment she took her first breath, her father gave her everything she wanted. It was more out of the guilt he felt for being so busy and not around as he should. So there was nothing she could ever wish for that she wouldn’t get. Nari wanted to dance? There was a ballet teacher waiting for her the next day. She wanted to learn to play piano? There was a big one in the living room the very next morning. Money was never a problem in the Cho household, but it can’t really buy happiness and Nari, as grateful as she was, would have wanted to see her father and brother more often.

No surprise that, when a eleven-year-old Nari said she wanted to be an actress, her father got her a minor role in a drama.

Debuted as a child actress in 2007, a minor role in the drama Witch Yoo Hee.

Good student usually minded her own business, friendly at all times. All of it not to cause her father any problems.

In reality, and it’s something she still deals with, part of her always thinks that no matter what she does, she will never be as good as her brother. He is a popular idol from a popular group, then debuted as a soloist. People love him, seems like he has his life figured out, and their father is so proud. So she’s trying to follow the same steps and failing.

The thing is, his brother was a very much wanted child. Nari was her mother’s last chance to fix a broken marriage.

Bullying TW // But it wasn't perfect. She was the golden child around the people who loved her, but things at school were different.

Nari wasn't the pretty girl around, she wasn't popular, too shy, and spoke too quietly. Other girls made fun of her because of her being an actress and her family. And she didn't have many friends, she spent the breaks reading and studying.

Becoming a teenager didn't help, because as the other girls worried about their looks and what they wore, Nari worried about becoming the actress she dreamed of.

After many minor roles, she finally decided that she wanted a lead role, but it wasn't as easy. It didn't matter that she wanted it, and without her father's doing, she couldn't do it on her own.

She needed a manager and a company.

She got an audition for New Star Entertainment and ended up becoming a trainee instead. Of course, she got the audition and got accepted because her dad pulled some strings.

Deep down she knows it, or at least suspects it, but she always wants to believe that she got it on her own.

Debut

There was a part of her that thought she would ever really debut, that she would make it as a lead actress first.

Surprise, she was actually talented enough to be selected as the main vocalist for a new girl group.

She considered quitting, but anything was better than waiting for something that didn't seem to happen.

She was worried about how the other members would react, she knew people talked behind her back about how everything she had was thanks to her dad., but she found her home with them. They didn't care about any of that, but about the person she was.

Still, she kept that cheerful facade she had built, not wanting others to see her insecurities.

She doubted herself, her talent, and everything she did.

But being on the stage changed it if even for just a few minutes.

She was highly criticized at first for her voice, but people never wasted time saying she didn't have what it took to be a main vocalist.

But she trained her voice, worked hard, and practiced harder. Pushed herself to her limits and definitely got better. People always talked shit, but she gained a lot of confidence in herself.

Being part of a group with such loving and accepting girls helped her to get out of her shell, and she began socializing a lot more.

Slowly, that shy and quiet girl became such a ray of sunshine, someone who easily made friends everywhere she went.

She finally landed a lead role in 2016, Love in the Moonlight.

See, for a moment, she thought this was about her being a talented actress and that people were finally seeing that. It was really how pretty she was and how popular Flora was getting, so adding an idol to the drama would help ratings.

And so it became her life, her looks were more important than her talent and her hard work.

So it was like that - her voice wasn't enough to be a main vocalist and her talent as an actress wasn't enough to please people, all she got was the way she looked. It really affected the way she saw herself.

But she pushed and pushed, and tried to get roles that at least challenged her as an actress, and to be the best singer she could possibly be.

2018 (Death tw)

It was the most bittersweet year in Nari's life.

Whilst Tempted had a mixed reception in South Korea, it was well-received internationally. Nari ranked second in the list of the top 10 most talked about actors and actresses in South Korea. Despite the question of idol singers in lead roles, Nari was subsequently praised for her improvement and potential in acting, opening the door for her. It led her to get cast as the lead in the historical drama 100 Days My Prince.

It was a huge opportunity, and despite how busy Flora’s schedules were, Nari gave her best to be present for both.

Flora had become one of the biggest groups in the industry thanks to their hard work, catchy songs, and lovely personalities

Right after the incredible success of 'Yes or Yes', the girls were preparing for the repackage comeback when tragedy reached their life.

It was no secret how close the girls and all their families were, so when Silver's brother Eunwoo died in a car accident, the girls felt devastated by the news.

Nari was away at a location filming for the drama when she received the news, the manager in charge to look after her was the one who had to tell her. Still, she had to go out and finish her day before going back to Seoul.

As it should be, Silver went on hiatus to go home and be with her family, leaving the other girls to promote 'Best Thing I Ever Did', and their Japanese comeback.

Nari became the acting Leader, looking after the girls and the group in the best way she could, trying to stay strong for everyone. It was exhausting to be there for Flora and filming at the same time, but Nari knew she had no option.

It was no surprise when rumors took over social media, people wanting to know the real reason why Silver was on hiatus. All of them were upsetting, but it seemed that people enjoyed kicking them when they were already down.

Nari knew there was no special treatment in any way, but she had expected New Star to protect Silver's privacy, and instead, it seemed that their way to fix this was to force Silver to come back before she was ready so Flora didn't lose their popularity.

It was heartbreaking seeing Silver going through something so painful and still having to work so hard, to practice every day, forced to act like nothing was wrong. It made Nari sick, and for the first time, she saw the real industry and how rotten it was.

There was a shift in the Flora energy - Nari couldn't help but stop trusting their staff, to think there were always ill intentions behind their actions. It was a horrible way to live, but she couldn't change the way she felt.

Suddenly, she became too quiet, keeping to herself. She only spoke to the staff if she really had to, keeping her interactions for her members only.

People couldn't be trusted - no staff, no other idols, absolutely no person that was part of New Star deserved an ounce of their attention.

2019-2020

Mental health TW // Soon, the stress took the best of her. Nari often felt like she couldn't breathe, trapped in between the walls of the New Star building or even the Flora dorms.

It was her father who, worried, suggested she went to see a therapist. The company didn't seem too happy with it, afraid that the information would become public and Flora suffered another hit to their image. But her father wanted the best for her and still took her.

Nari was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, which lead her to take a break from acting for a while. Deciding that if she ever went back, she would do it for a project she truly wanted to do and with people she was comfortable with.

However, since Silver had already taken a six-month break in 2018, Nari wasn't allowed to take time off Flora’s schedule.

Her therapist suggested she found activities that kept her mind busy, and after she tried a few, Lego building and knitting were the ones that worked the best for her.

Nari received a script from a director she had worked with in the past. It wasn't a lead role, but an important character for the drama. Nari hesitated for a while before deciding to go back.

The great working environment and meeting so many new people made her remember why she loved acting. It was great for her, and for the first time in a while, she felt more herself.

Merger

If she has to be honest, she didn't care much about it. All companies are the same, and she still gets to be in Flora and perform. She didn't expect Infinite to be better than New Star, but she was with her girls.

It was difficult to see so many people she wasn't used to, feeling insecure and anxious. She tried her best, but Nari couldn't trust anyone.

This made it difficult, really, because she couldn't find it in herself to socialize with people.

For the most part of 2021, Nari did her job or was at the dorms.

The only major change was that she got her own apartment for privacy and to have a room completely for her Legos only.

Still, she decided to keep living with the girls in the Flora dorms.

Tour

Traveling the world with the girls is fun, but because of the tour she has missed great acting opportunities and that has been troubling her.

Sharing with so many people makes her anxious, she usually keeps to herself or her members. She's trying not to be noticed that much.

Nari has been slowly opening up, letting her true self be seen more often than before, but she still is very careful.

After almost a year of traveling, she had given herself the chance to open her mind and maybe try to get to know others.

It hasn't been easy, but it's been a big step to at least try to.

Present

Nari has been focusing on herself and healing.

she’s been working on a solo project, still not so sure about it.

Hoping for a good acting role after almost two years of no acting.

Random Facts

Despite how quiet and reserved she might seem, she's a ball of energy. If she's comfortable around you, she'll always be smiling.

She's actually quite funny if given the chance.

The clumsiest person you have ever known, but only off stage. When she’s on the stage, she transforms completely, she’s a whole different person who seems to know what she’s doing (spoiler alert, she doesn’t), and you can’t believe she’s the same person who fell backstage just a few minutes ago.

Big big fan of everyone, has albums and lightsticks, has gone to concerts, and collects photocards. But she won't say so.

If you’re her friend, she has probably knitted something for you. it’s her love language. Loves knitting and she does vlives just so the fans can see it.

She also absolutely loves eating and baking, but on tour, she hasn't had the chance to do it as often. She's always been in charge of feeding the Flora members, making sure they always have something to eat ready for them.

Nari wears her contacts all the time. But if she trusts you enough, you'll get to see her with big round glasses and hair in a messy bun.

She still doesn't trust any staff, they're all the same. And she doesn't trust people's intentions either.

Living like this is exhausting, and she often wonders if it's worth it.

She loves building legos and has a big collection, like huge.

People online are so mean, always judging her and saying awful things about her. She posts on instagram for their fans, but she is always afraid of reading the comments.

She always has dating rumors even for breathing too close to someone else, she's always dating a new person every three seconds and she hates it. Reason why she doesn't like being seen with others.

Which is crazy, because she doesn't really befriends people, and it's really all about how good she looks next to someone else.

She’s pretty nice, you just have to work past all the walls she has built around her to see it.

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Haley Lu Richardson

full name: Peach Jones

nickname(s) / goes by: PJ, Pea

pronouns & gender: she/her & cis woman

sexuality: bisexual

birth date: February 23, 1997

birth place: Mobile, Alabama

arrival to merrock: 20 years ago

housing: Historic Downtown

occupation: Park Ranger

work place: Merrock State Park

family: mother

relationship status: single

PERSONALITY

Peach blows in on a breeze. If there's a bottom to her well, it hasn't been hit yet. She's quick to sniff out a party, or to strike up a conversation with a stranger. She leads with kindness and a smile and occasionally an ill made brownie. (The first two work well, the third not so much.) She enjoys things a little left of center and doesn't suffer bullies easily. Though no one would consider her organized, she does have a prudent sort of responsibility. At times forgetful, it is more like in the course of a friendship with Peach that she will turn up at the eleventh hour with a bottle of vodka and a solution. Some people might find that frustrating, but Peach has found her niche and decided to ignore the critiques.

WRITTEN BY: Kate (she/her, est.

BACKGROUND / BIO

triggering / sensitive content: death

Peach Jones likes to get lost. That is when the fun begins.

Her first steps and first smiles belonged to Alabama. Her parents were young, even, by admission, a little foolish. One week after walking across a stage for their high school diplomas they were walking into a drug store for a pregnancy test. As her mom likes to say, Peach kept the tongues wagging all summer. As was her custom, she arrived late with no apologies. Her name came down to her in a Jones family tradition. From Grandma Clementine, to mother Cherry, and on to Peach.

Her parents tried to do well by her, but they weren't built to last. Before Peach's third birthday, they were trading off weekends and growing in different directions. In those days, the sunlight spilt over. Peach's memories of Alabama all taste of lemon and dress themselves in yellow. She remembers sunburns and thunderstorms. There were Mardi Gras and block parties and the tilt of a southern accent. They were happy years when a father could arrive in a pick-up truck and whisk her away for ice cream and mini golf. And, just as their roots dug in they were ripped right up.

At six, a great aunt passed and, to the favored niece, went the little townhome in Maine. It was a whim and Cherry was quite good at those. She packed a car, dressed a daughter, and hit the road. The distance would rewrite bits of Peach's story. Space would grow between her and her father, between the new family he'd start properly. She'd miss her grandmother's cooking and stories. But, inevitably, she'd learn to love Merrock. She'd trade thunderstorms for crisp autumn nights filled with stars, and lemonade for lobster.

In Merrock, her mother opened a vintage and thrift clothing store in downtown. She never lost her accent, but Peach's waned as she grew and turned into a whisper. It was little time before she made friends and settled down in the town. She tended toward the adventurous, and was never too far from a skinned knee in those days. At the footsteps of Arcadia National Park, her love for nature learned to breathe. She was a girl scout and a wanderer. She was lost so many times during a troup hike that they assigned her a personal minder. Getting lost never fazed her though, she'd find little creeks and moss covered ferns, and deer. One day a park ranger found her asleep at the foot of an oak and walked her back personally. From that day on, she was sold.

In high school, she met a boy. Matthew was a fisherman's son and an anime enthusiast. They'd spend sunday mornings on a boat and sunday afternoons in his basement with dvds on repeat. Naruto and Death Note tucked in next to her succulent collection. Peach thinks they could have been everything and that is what hurts the most. The autumn he went over the railing of his father's boat, was the same autumn she received early acceptance into an undergrad program. She stumbled that first year in school, but her mother never let her knees touch the ground. The pain is quieter now but she still marks the anniversary and tucks his collections away.

When she graduated, Peach wasted no time in securing her position at Merrock State Park. At the start, she was young and fresh as spring rain, but she's grown since then. Her job is her passion and one of the only things she takes seriously in life. She still lives with her mother and their immortally grumpy cat. She even still helps at the thrift store. But whether it's at the shop, the marina, or the bar it's likely her badge is pinned just below a smile.

[paradisecost]

oh boy i’m playing Inside, in which (so far) you’re a little boy running through the woods and trying to avoid being captured and caught or killed, and just............... the silver and erik muses are Loud,

[divineblccd]

CHARACTER NAME/ALIAS: Cassie Sandsmark aka Wonder Girl FACECLAIM: Sabrina Carpenter  AFFILIATIONS: Teen Titans, Young Justice, the Nomads AGE: 21 SPECIES: Demi-God

IS YOUR CHARACTER’S IDENTITY SECRET OR PUBLIC? Public  POWERS AND/OR ABILITIES: Flight, Superhuman Abilities, Electrokinesis (ish)  WEAKNESSES: Several of her powers/weapons are linked to controlling her emotions, and Cassie is…not great at this. She’s weaker against projectile weapons like arrows and bullets than she is against blunt force.

IC PORTION; DETAILS —

DID THEY SIGN THE ACCORDS? WHY OR WHY NOT? No. Again, Diana heavily influenced her decision, but after Cassie saw how the ISA treated metas, she knew it was the right decision. However, she does occasionally spiral in self-doubt and wonders if she’s too dangerous to go unmonitored 

CHARACTER BIO —

Cassie grew up like a lot of kids in Gateway City: idolizing Wonder Woman and getting into trouble to pass the time. She never really knew where it came from, but there had always been an itch underneath her skin that seemed impossible to satiate, no matter how many fights she got into. Cassie bounced around from school to school, never staying long enough to make friends. The only constant in her life was her mother and her Museum. She could only play on her Gameboy for so long while waiting for her mom to finish her work at the Gateway City Museum of Antiquities. What was a restless girl to do when she was surrounded by ancient artifacts and weapons but ignore all the ‘do not touch’ signs? It helped when Diana showed up. Superhuman patience appeared to be one of Wonder Woman’s many powers because she put up with Cassie’s endless chatter and demands for attention. All Cassie wanted was to be like Diana, to be like Donna, to be a hero. She practiced with swords she wasn’t supposed to touch and watched tape after tape of Wonder Girl’s appearances in the news. So, when Zeus asked her what she wanted in exchange for helping Wonder Woman take down Doomsday and Decay, she didn’t have to think about her answer. A hero. She wanted to be a hero.

Zeus granted her wish. He gave her superpowers, similar to Diana’s, and after convincing her very reluctant mother, she trained with Artemis to become worthy of her gift. Cassie eventually earned the Wonder Girl mantle with Donna’s blessing and retired costume. Sometimes, she had to pinch herself to believe it. As Wonder Girl, Cassie joined Young Justice and grew close to Cissie, Anita, and Tim. She finally had friends her own age, and she was living her ultimate dream–but like most things in Cassie’s life, it didn’t last long. After Donna was killed, Cassie was devastated and the team was disbanded. It was her first time experiencing true loss. Her father, so she was told, died before she was born. The grief had been mostly second-hand, a dull longing for someone she made up in her head. Donna’s death was sharp and jagged in all the worst ways. The pain awakened something inside of her, something that she liked to pretend didn’t exist.

Eventually, Cassie couldn’t ignore it. She joined Teen Titans and later learned that her father was Zeus. She had been lied to by the people she trusted the most; she could feel the rage that had always been simmering beneath the surface erupt. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately), Ares gave Cassie her own mythical lasso, but instead of truth, her lasso expelled lightning fueled by wrath. Her superhuman abilities, on the other hand, were weakening with no apparent reason. Being Wonder Girl was all Cassie had ever wanted, so when Ares told her that Zeus was the reason her powers were disappearing, she made a deal with the devil. In exchange for Ares’s powers, Cassie would become his champion. After the proverbial ink dried, her powers became completely entwined with her anger. It was overwhelming, all-consuming, and she felt like she might burn to death from the inside out. After Kon died, she almost did.

Cassie’s powers became unmanageable. It was easy, almost natural, to give into the rage. Ares was the God of War, after all, and she was supposed to be his champion. She realized that she was becoming the very thing she sought to destroy, but it was too late. Her nephew Lycus, the son of Ares, took advantage of her instability and attacked her in order to claim the title of Ares’s avatar and her powers. He was able to take the powers that Ares gave her, but through a nearly fatal battle Cassie discovered that she no longer needed to use powers from other gods. She had divine power flowing through her blood. She defeated Lycus with a level of super-strength that she had never possessed before.

She used her new powers to lead the Teen Titans, and now she hopes that she can do something to prove to herself that she’s worthy of being called a hero. 

[sohelish]

The Aktau incident

'You test?' The universal translator wasn't working well, but it functioned enough to establish communication. The transaction was simple anyway. It didn't require an elaborate negotiation. No need to over-think it. Pfft, sure. The latter wasn't Helena's strong suit.

'Test it. Me?' On the one hand, it seemed like a decent idea. Why buy something that wasn't working? There was always a risk of that happening, of course. But here, she'd been provided with an opportunity to negate that risk. On the other hand...

The woman stared at the alien device with unveiled suspicion. Ironically, it didn't look unworldly at all. If anything, it reminded Hel of one of those aesthetically pleasing neo-fountains. A person was meant to admire them and relax, studying the intricately carved details and listening to the sounds of running water.

This thing bore a striking resemblance, and the less threatening it appeared, the more Hel's scepticism grew. She weighed all the pros and cons. Once, twice.

'Alright.' Her Bosses knew where she was. The deal was relatively open and transparent. The Lvessians seemed to be a very peaceful people. Nothing about them suggested they'd turn on her out of the blue. If they did, there were contingency plans.

Still, Hel was quite nervous. And extremely thrilled.

'What do I do?' She asked, watching the Lvessian merchant approach the device. He gently pushed a component that was prodding out - a metronome? The ticking that followed was infernal. 'Should we maybe---'

That sound was so disturbing. It felt like it was drilling into her skull. Hel began to utter something in protest but couldn't hear herself speak. Was she even opening her mouth? Could she move?

The woman blinked - ah! That she could feel herself do. She blinked again and again rapidly.

Until she found herself staring at the monitors all of a sudden. They gave off the impression of being both familiar and very distant at the same time. The latter - literally, too. Because Hel was very aware of how considerably she had to lift her head to see the upper readings.

'Снова на мониторы поглядываешь, эх, Хэлька. Мама твоя будет недовольна. Разве она тебе не сказала идти читать ту книженцию?'

Hel slowly turned her gaze towards the voice.

'I won't be reading that. You know it.'

'I know, that's why I brought you this.'

The man kneeled down beside the young girl and handed her a paper book. Really? That got her full attention. The piece looked old and worn. Would she dare touch it at the risk of it falling apart? She did reach out, examining the title.

'История свободы мысли.' Helena hadn't read this one, but she could tell what it might be about. The notion forced a sinister chuckle out of her. 'Mom's going to freak, дядь Кость.'

'Yes, well,' the man patted little Helly on the head. 'That's just her way. Not much we can do about it. Now go, out of the grown-ups' way. I've got work to do.'

With that, he walked off, leaving the girl alone with the book she'd been clutching, staring at it as if it was the most precious thing.

And yet.

Hel's head snapped, her eyes fixed sharply in the direction of his departure. That wasn't the way to the science lab. Or the bio lab, nor was it the optimal route to the engineering. Docking bays, cargo holds - more likely. What business could uncle Kostya possibly have there? Hel felt herself blinking again. Finally, it hit her - the realisation that the device was working as intended. Interesting.

The next few moments playing in her mind were about her following uncle Kostya's movements whenever he was doing something she considered strange. 

One such case stood out. The girl made her way through the crowd and concealed herself in the side corridor, peeking out. She was surprised to witness Konstantin Zhdanov talking to Richard Redford, her father's brother. Why would uncle Rick even come to Aktau-5? He was such a busy man.

'Is everything ready?'

'Mhm.'

'Are you sure? This is important.'

'Yes-yes. It's done. But I don't understand, Rick. Why would you want to store something like that here? We're not exactly the proper facility.'

'It's only temporary. I don't have another choice, and I can always count on you.'

That was when a loud stomping interrupted Helena's focus. She could feel a pair of arms wrap around her.

'Helly, what are you doing here!?'

Damn it. Жэка... зараза.

'Dude, come on. I wanna show you the thing. Come on!'

Before she could process what was happening, Hel felt herself being pulled and dragged off by her brother Eugene. He took her down the same corridor Konstantin and Richard were currently using for their private meeting.

'Hey, uncle Kostya! Hey, uncle Rick!'

He remained forever oblivious to what was going on. Helena, however, felt Richard Redford's heavy questioning gaze fixed on her.

When she sensed herself blink next, the woman knew what was coming. By then, she'd settled in, watching it all like a movie.

Helly Redford was running, running for her life... not really. No. Her mother was chasing her, letting out an occasional cry. The child had yet again managed to upset her to an extent and didn't want to deal with Oksana, so she rushed off, hoping to hide.

There had to be a vent somewhere - an emergency maintenance corridor that led to another part of the station. Hel's dad left the schematics lying around, and she took the chance to study them, thinking it could come in handy one day. Aha!

She ducked to the side and unsealed the panel. How fortunate it was that it had to remain open at all times in case of trouble. How difficult it was, though, to move the grate. She didn't expect it to be so heavy. Hurt her shoulder doing it.

However, she was determined. And so the girl hopped inside and started crawling. Behind, she heard her mother's voice echo: да, что ж это за ребенок такой, а!?

Of course, she read the schematic wrong. Or, perhaps, she took a wrong turn somewhere along the way?

When Hel finally made it out, not only was she totally whacked and exhausted, she also ended up in the wrong section entirely. The vent was far above the ground, so when she kicked out the grate and jumped down, she miscalculated and fell roughly on her side. The pain was hot and blunt. She was generally disoriented.

It took her a while to adjust her eyes and see that she'd landed in one of the cargo bays. Damn it. An odd one at that. Weren't these supposed to be filled to the brim? The area was relatively empty, and there was something different as well. The humidity was all off. The environmental control settings must have been turned to extremely dry.

Hel made an effort to get up, fighting through the pain and fatigue. Her slightly worn will was overpowered by sudden curiosity: why did so many things in the bay appear abnormal?

More importantly, what was it about the seemingly alien tube that resembled a high-tech sarcophagus? To anyone who lived on the station, it would be obvious enough. The object didn't belong.

Carefully she approached it, scrutinising. Everything was forgotten: the aching, the misfortunes, all were replaced by a rush of excitement. That was what the archaeologists from the stories must have felt when they came across a mystery that could make or break their career.

Her ecstatic state was short-lived, however. The secrecy of a concealed alien object was tainted by the quick assessment of the screens.

By no means was Helena an expert in any manner. But she had spent enough time trying to understand the numbers and readings on the monitors scattered around Aktau-5. The girl did it in a misguided attempt of a regular child - striving to grow up a bit quicker.

Not that she needed to know a lot to figure out a few simple facts. The screen, attached to the alien sarcophagus, showed one set of data. Meanwhile, the panel on the wall connected to the station's computer and was painting another picture entirely.

She gulped. The station readings were somewhat standard, but the indicators on the monitor of the alien pod were displaying a rapid rise in numbers.

Hel decided not to stay for too long under these circumstances. She rushed towards a relatively small cargo crate, doing her best to move it through the pang in her shoulder. She'd need it to get up and crawl into the vent again at any cost.

If it weren't for the instilled fear and the adrenaline pumping, she probably wouldn't have made it out. Fortunately, she did - breathing heavily, on the verge of collapsing.

Her work wasn't done, though. Work... when did it become a kid's task to go through all that? It didn't matter. First things first, she hurried to talk to her father.

Helena had chosen to go to him because, well, he was her favourite parent. Which was ironic since he didn't seem to give a damn about her. But Harold Redford's indifference for whatever reason provided her with more comfort than her mother's crusade to change who she was.

She had chosen poorly. Harry didn't appear to be bothered much, having listened to his own daughter's frantic tale. In fact, he barely glanced away from the engineering station.

'How many specialists are working on this station?' He asked, and Hel had to focus hard to remember the answer. 'How likely is it that none of them noticed the readings in the cargo bay were abnormal?'

When she didn't answer, Harold let out a deep existential sigh. That was when Hel knew - she'd lost this battle. That sigh was final.

The next round was with her mother. She'd been in the bio lab, taking care of the specimens. When Hel entered, the woman dropped everything and stared at her.

'What have you done now?' There was judgement in her eyes as well as something else. Fear. But was it the fear for her daughter or of her?

That conversation went better, all things considered.

'Are you absolutely sure? It's not one of those pranks you and your brother pull on everybody?'

How weird - her kids hadn't done anything like that in years. Helena nodded to the former and shook her head to the latter.

'Alright,' Oksana Redford moved to put the samples away. 'Найди дядю Костю, расскажи ему. Бегом.'

Why didn't she go straight to uncle Kostya? Oh, yeah. In the back of her mind, she'd already thought him responsible and guilty.

That she did. Still, when she told the man everything. When he leaned down in front of her and grabbed her firmly by the shoulders, saying it would be alright. She believed him. She trusted him.

Even as the alarm went off and the station corridors turned red.

Enough, she stated. Helena couldn't speak. But in her mind, she concluded that this much would suffice. It wasn't like she didn't know what would happen next. The horror, the screams, the deaths. As far as she was concerned, the demonstration was over.

'The evacuation route is that way, go, kiddo.'

Uncle Kostya's last words to her.

Enough, enough.

She focused on her inner voice in the now, in the today.

It works. It works well. It...

'It works.'

At last! 

The woman could feel herself blink and hear herself talk, coming back to a normal state.

Her first coherent thought? It was a pity that the trader didn't give her a proper warning. She would've set the timer and checked how long this mental trip had taken her.

Hel glanced at the digital clock on the wall. A rough estimation, but it couldn't have been longer than a minute or two. Impressive. Such a vivid experience, effective and quick.

The mind-numbing sound was a crucial part of the mechanism, no doubt. Although there must have been something else to it. Helena did her best to shake off the brain fog. Radiofrequency electromagnetic radiation? The scientists would have to study this device further. She made a note to ask them about it. After all, this was very curious and exciting.

'I'll take it. The payment will arrive as promised.'

She made her way towards the appliance she'd called the "neo-fountain" and stopped the metronome part with her finger.

It was hard to tell whether she didn't notice the sheer astonishment with which the Lvessian trader was looking at her. Or maybe she chose not to.

[softboywriting]

Back To You (WIP)

Summary: After six years away you’ve returned to your hometown to be reunited with Shawn, the man you loved and left behind. Much has changed, including Shawn having a son, but your love for him has not. You’ll have to navigate falling in love all over again, rouge werewolves, and being a parent to the child you never thought you’d have. [werewolf story]

Word Count: 14k

|Masterlist of Stories in Bio|

The wind whips around him as he steps through the freshly fallen snow. He's been here before. Both in his real life and in dreams. He knows how this will end. The Wolveswood calls to him like it had the first time he came here. Soon he will round the corner and find the small white pup buried in the snow at the foot of the giant oak.

But this time is different. He rounds the corner and catches the scent of something familiar. Someone. His footsteps quicken, the feeling of finding someone so familiar but foreign. As he approaches the base of the tree there is not a small pup but a woman. As he drops to his knees to uncover the body it stirs, familiar eyes meeting his. The eyes of a woman he hasn't seen in six years grip his heart and make him feel as if he's suffocating.

Shawn sits upright in his bed and looks around his bedroom. His alarm is set for four in the morning and it's a quarter till. There was no going back to sleep now.

___________________

You find yourself in the kitchen of the house you grew up in. The cabinets are painted with sunflowers and daisies they way they had always been. Something is cooking on the stove but you can't smell it. Small hands grip your pants and you look down to see a little boy trying to get your attention.

“Momma. Momma.”

You pick up the child and hold him on your hip. He's adorable, dark hair and dark eyes. From behind you a door opens and you look back. There's a man walking toward you, a smile on his face. He's familiar but you can't quite sort out why. He kisses the boy's head and then yours. The moment his lips meet your temple you know who it is and your heart soars. Shawn. You've missed him.

You wake up, eyes blinking out the sleep as your bedroom comes into focus. What a strange dream. You can only assume being back in town is what has triggered it. You can't help but wonder if Shawn is actually still around.

____________________

Moving back to Brighton was not something you expected to do any time soon, but after losing your apartment due to a rent increase and losing your job due to layoffs, moving back home seemed pretty good. You parents moved away recently and left the house to you and your brother. Jeremy had no interest in moving back to Brighton, he was getting married soon, halfway across the country too.

Driving into town brings a sense of nostalgia, a taste of home. You grew up here, born and raised in the little brick house on the corner of 12th and Main Street. The tiny garden your mom put in when you were ten still grows ever vibrant under the front windows. The old oak stands tall and proud in the front yard, the swing your dad put up when you and Jeremy were toddlers is still there as well. It felt amazing to have a sense of belonging again. The city was great but it wasn't home. Never was.

You drive down Main St and notice a lot of the shops are closed up or are new businesses all together. The grocery store is still open as well as the thrift shop and the printing place. The drug store and sports shop are still there too. The old liquor store has closed up and you are glad for it. Two years ago Brighton became a dry town, no alcohol sales allowed in the town limits. It wasn't a surprise, most of the werewolf townships were going dry. Liquor lead to reckless wolves and no one needed that in this day and age. Werewolves had enough trouble with humans already. While most humans didn't mind them, there were plenty who did. A few rotten apples can sour a bunch.

The old cafe is gone but over head is a sign that reads Full Moon Brew. A small coffee place no doubt. Curiosity gets the best of you and you pull over into a parking spot along the street. The wind whips your oversized sweater around you as you head into the shop, hair a mess from the weather.

The place is warm, both visually and physically. Old wood floors and rust orange tablecloths really set the mood. Little art pieces made of tea cups and spoons hang over head on the high ceilings. They're delightful, beautiful little mobiles. There is a small line of three people as you approach the counter. Somewhere nearby you hear a child squealing, but you don't see it.

The line moves up and you see a familiar face behind the counter. Those dark chocolate curls are as unmistakable as the laugh that comes out of him. Shawn. Gods you cannot believe he's still in town and after the dream you had this morning you can't believe you're actually seeing him. It makes your heart giddy with each step you take. Never did you think he would be in your life again. His voice, heavens and earth, his voice is still just as enticing as it was when you were a teenager.

“Next,” Shawn says cooly as the man in front of you steps forward. “What can I get for you today?”

Your pulse goes wild, the thought of facing him again after six years is sending you into a fit. He's the one man you always wanted, and leaving Brighton was a mistake. Never returning before now was a mistake. Gods knew you were in love with him when you left and they know you still are now. There was no denying it. Man alive you were going to have a conniption fit right here in this line.

“Ne-” Shawn's voice falls away, a cup tumbles to the floor behind the counter and you look up from where the man in front of you has moved. His legs replaced with the dark wood of the order counter. “Hey, I thought I recognized that perfume.”

“Hey.” You lift your eyes fully, forcing them to meet Shawn's. “Long time no see yeah?”

“Yeah.” He grins. His smile put the sun to shame. Bright, gorgeous and his teeth so perfectly straight. Those fangs a bit too large to be human, but that's because he wasn't. “You look good...I can't believe you're here.”

“Same actually.”

“What can I get you? I mean, you came for coffee right? Or did you come for me? I mean that would be weird?”

You chuckle nervously as you step forward and lay your hand on the counter top. “Can I get a-”

A toddler comes into view screaming from behind him. “Daddy! Daddy! I made drink!” The small boy brandishes a tall paper cup with a mysterious substance sloshing out of it.

Your heart stops. The boy from the dream. He has the same dark hair and dark eyes. This was too weird. “Daddy?” you whisper and Shawn looks at you.

He tears his eyes away from yours and looks to the boy. “This is my son.” He kneels down and takes a sip of whatever is in that cup. Brave man. “It's great bud! Go share with Ms. Lettie?”

“Okay!”

Shawn stands up and runs his hand over his hair. “I'm so sorry. He usually doesn't run in here like that. What can I get you?”

“I...I'm just going to have a mocha.”

“It's a long story.” He says as he rings you up. You didn't ask. You didn't need to. “I can explain later but I understand if you don't want to know its-”

You're not as shocked that he has a son as you are that your dream was happening before your very eyes. You aren't sure what to say. How do you explain a dream like that to someone you haven't talked to in years? The only thing you can manage to say is far from what you mean to but it comes out nonetheless. “Did you really drink that?”

“What?”

“The cup he had. Did you actually drink it?”

Shawn chuckles. “Yeah it's just water and apple juice. He mixes his sippy cups into a paper cup. It's fine.”

“Oh.” You laugh softly and hand over a ten dollar bill for your order. “And I'd love to talk later if you're free.”

“I'll leave my number on the receipt then.”

_____________________

The moment you step outside the wind picks up again and you cling to the warm cup in your hands. It's mid November but you can swear you see snow flurries whipping by in the gusts. You turn your back to the wind and walk toward your car. It's so cold you wish you'd grabbed a jacket this morning.

“Hey! Wait!”

You turn and Shawn is walking toward you. “What? Did I leave something?”

“Yeah.” He hands you your receipt with his number on it. “I forgot to give you this.”

“Oh! Right.” You smile down at the crumpled piece of thin paper. “I guess I would have known where to find you though.”

Shawn smiles. “Meet me at the Wolveswood around five?

“Won't your wife wonder where you're at?”

“Wife?

“Yeah...or girlfriend. The boy's mom?”

Shawn shakes his head. “No it's just me. I'll explain later. Five o'clock?”

“Yes. I'll be there.”

____________________

It's just before sunset as you stroll into the Wolveswood. The white trees and dark pines create a stunning and magical aura about the place and that's because in a way it was. Every werewolf township had a Wolveswood. There was something about the trees that grew in them that provided a perfect place for the wolves to be themselves unguarded and uninhibited.

You loved coming here as a kid, though your parents strongly advised against it. Being a human in a town of wolves you had to take precautions. Now that you're older you understand that it was only because the Wolveswood was a place for the residents to run free and you were not a wolf. Though the  only times you entered was with Shawn and he would never let anything happen to you.

You head toward the massive oak that sits in the middle of the woods. It's a sprawling work of nature and is the most sacred tree in the Wolveswood. You have countless memories of this place. Most of which involved Shawn and the two of you hanging out after school. A stick breaks behind you and you see Shawn heading towards you in a dark navy sweater. The little boy from the shop is by his side, running ahead to jump on the sticks and snap them.

“You came,” Shawn smiles as he stops before you. “I was worried you might be weirded out by my son.”

“No not at all. I'm curious more than anything.”

Shawn leads you to the trunk of the tree and sits on one of it's massive exposed roots curving up out of the ground. “Well. It all started right here.”

“Like...”

“I found him here, lying abandoned in the snow two years ago almost. He didn't shift into a human for weeks. I had to fight the council to keep him.” Shawn chuckles and watches the boy chase a cardinal nearby. “I didn't know his name, I didn't even know if he knew his name. He didn't speak much, not even babble when he shifted.”

“Wow, he was just left out here?”

“Yeah. We tried everything to find out who his parents were but we can only assume it was a wandering pack or maybe some loners or something. Why they left him behind I can't fathom.”

“What's his name?”

“Myles, but he answers to Pup usually.”

You lower yourself onto the cold dirt and wave at Myles. “Hey pup, hello.”

Myles ducks behind Shawn and hides with his back to the root that Shawn's sitting on. You lean over to try and see him but he must be really curled into the trunk.

“He’s shy.” Shawn reaches back and rubs Myles’ hair. “I want to enroll him in preschool soon but I can't afford anywhere around here and the closest public place is two towns over.”

“What about the library?”

“Expensive. It's a private program.”

“But I'm starting work there next week. I can take him. Employees get free child care. No one is going to ask if he's mine if I bring in his documents.”

Shawn's face lights up. “You would do that? I mean you don't have to. I'll sort something out.” He shakes his head. “No I can't have you do that. I'll just home school him.”

You stand and lay your hand on Shawn's shoulder and he covers it with his own. “You’d do the same for me.”

“Of course I would.” He chuckles. “You know, I missed you. I missed my best friend. Why did we ever split up?”

“I missed you too Shawn, and we split because I wanted  to see the world. But the world ended up being an apartment in the city and two part time jobs to get myself through community college. It wasn't worth it.”

“We all make mistakes.” He stands and his hand finds yours. “It's how we learn from them is what matters.”

“What did I learn?”

“That the grass isn't greener on the other side. Now, can I take you to dinner?”

“I'd love to go.”

Myles comes out from behind the root and grabs Shawn's free hand. “I'm hungry too dad.”

Shawn grabs him and hauls him up on his shoulders. “Wanna get a grilled cheese, bud?”

“Yeah!”

____________________

Dinner goes well. You and Shawn catch up on the last six years and discuss how things have been aside from the obvious. It feels like you never left. Being with Shawn feels as natural as if you had just been gone for a few days and came back home. Myles keeps to himself, eyeing you from time to time. He's adorable, all big eyes and big teeth as he puts away a grilled cheese and two plates of sweet potato fries. He could be Shawn's son, if he hadn't told you the truth you would have guessed he was his biologically.

“You're not a wolf.”

You and Shawn halt mid conversation to look at the boy who is leaning with his chin on his arms, staring at you. “What's that bud?”

Myles is silent.

“Pup, it's okay if she's not a wolf.” Shawn rubs his back and he sighs heavily.

“Smells funny.”

“Myles James please don't say that to people.” Shawn looks to you. “You don't smell funny. You smell amazing and I love your perfume.”

“He hasn't been around a lot of humans has he?” You ask, smiling at the two of them. This was amusing.

“No. Mostly the work clientele are wolves from town. You probably smell strange to him because you were in the city for so long. There's a difference between here and there.”

“I smell like city pollution?”

“No, no oh my god. Well maybe? I don't know. A few days in town and you'll be right as rain. I think it's time to head home. Someone needs to go to bed soon.”

____________________

The next few days you stop by the coffee shop and chat with Shawn a while before work. He's so cute when he's got his sleeves rolled up, whip cream smeared across his cheek and hair curly and a mess from the steam of the espresso machines. On the fourth day you come in, Myles is standing at the end of the counter waiting for you.

“Good morning pup,” you smile and wave at him. “How are you today?”

“Can I see your teeth?”

“My teeth?” You glance up at Shawn and he just sighs. “What for?”

“Because.” He bares his little teeth at you and you raise your eyebrows.

“Pup. Leave her alone.” Shawn sighs heavily as he makes your usual mocha with extra cream.

You grin big and show the small boy your teeth. He just squints and then nods. “Do I have teeth?” You ask with a giggle.

“Yes. Good.” And with that Myles just turns and goes back to his play area at the corner of the shop.

You stand up and Shawn passes you your drink. “I'm sorry. He had a nightmare last night and I guess all his teeth fell out. He asked me about mine this morning but he's always asking weird stuff so I didn't think about it.”

“I don't mind. He's curious. I'm just happy he talked to me.” You look over at the play area and Myles is coloring something on a little table.

Shawn smiles big and shakes his head. “He's something. Hey, do you want to go out tonight? My mom is available to babysit if you want.”

“Sure. I'd love some one on one time with you.”

“It's a date then. I'll pick you up at six?”

“I'll be there.”

____________________

A date with Shawn is just what you need. The two of you walking hand in hand through the park is just like old times. You don't feel so stressed like you had in the city. It's wonderful.

“So, a coffee shop huh?” You ask, breaking a silence that was comfortable but getting to be too much.

“Yeah. It's a funny story. Lettie needed help for the summer after you left. I wasn't going to stay for long, hell, I wanted to get out of here too. Everything reminded me of you.” Shawn swings your joined hands. “I found that I really enjoyed making drinks and creating things. I also discovered I loved cooking too. Lettie taught me everything. One summer turned into a year and then another year. Pretty soon I was running the place and Lettie retired.”

“But Lettie is still there?”

“She comes in now and again and she'll pick up a shift or two sometimes. It's just hard on her to work forty plus hours anymore.”

You stop and the two of you sit on a bench. “Why did you adopt Myles? You said you fought for him. Why?”

“Something inside me knew he was meant to be mine.” He looks down and fidgets his hands in his lap. “The way he looked at me, he reminded me of you. I can't explain it honestly, but there was something in that kid that was so very like you. I loved him the second I lifted his tiny form out of the snow.”

“You never thought you'd see me again did you?”

Shawn looks over and there's tears in his eyes and his lip trembles as he speaks. “No. No I didn't.”

You feel your chest cease up and tears blur your vision. You reach for Shawn's hand. “I'm so sorry.”

Shawn squeezes your hand tightly. “I figured six years was a sure thing. You were never coming back. Then you walk in the shop out of nowhere, and it was the most incredible moment when I saw you. I went home that night after our dinner and I had to make sure I was actually awake.”

“I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ever left. I know you said I was your mate and-”

“You are. You still are.”

“And I didn't understand that then. I didn't really grasp what it meant. I thought it meant I'd be trapped here forever. But I think I do understand now. I think. I have an idea anyway.”

Shawn brings your hand up to kiss it and then leans over, cupping your cheek to kiss your lips softly. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

_____________________

Friday morning you walk into the coffee shop and it's a little early, Shawn must have just unlocked the door when he got in because the closed sign is still up and the lights are still off. There's a radio blaring from behind the counter and you can hear someone shouting along in the backroom.

Sure enough Shawn appears, backing through the swinging door with an arm full of a sack of beans to be roasted. He's shouting at the top of his lungs.

“Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone! I love you and that's all I really know!”  

You grin as you approach the counter and watch him sing and dance along to the song. The two of you listened to that one all the time in highschool. He had even requested it at prom for you.

“Good morning.” You say softly and Shawn jumps, turning and flushing bright pink.

“Hey...you didn't see that did you?”

“Oh I got the whole performance. You're quite good, even for yelling the lyrics.”

“I couldn't help myself. It was our song. Remember?”

You laugh and walk around behind the counter to meet him. “Of course I remember. How could I ever forget?” You put yours arms around his middle and hug him. “I still listen to it sometimes too.”

Shawn holds you close and rests his chin on your head. “Are you still planning on taking Myles today?”

“Mmhmm. He's registered for the kids care, all I gotta do is bring him in.”

“Dad! Dad! I need juice!”

“Speaking of which, there he is.”

Myles comes wandering through the back room door. He holds his cup up and Shawn goes for the fridge to get a carton of juice for him.

“Are you excited for daycare today bud?” You ask as you squat down to his height. “You get to play with other little wolves. Does that sound fun?”

“Can I color?”

“Yep. And you get lunch, and music time and story time.”

“Dad?”

Shawn turns and looks down at his son. “Yes pup?”

“Can I go?”

“Yep. That's the plan.”

Myles takes his cup from Shawn and chews on the spout. “Okay. We can go now.”

“I'll lock up real quick. I want to take him in on his first day.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I should go with. He might have a hard time."

____________________

Daycare goes off without a hitch. Myles was shy at first but he opened up quickly. As soon as he realized he got to do all his favorite things with other little kids, it was like something switched on inside of him. That social pack mentality kicked in and he was ready to go.

For the first few days you went and checked on him every couple hours. There is a door with a half window that you could go and peek through to see the care room. He looked so happy, so energetic.

Until. The incident. One week into kids care and you're called away from the story time event in the library. Lena brings you to the little time out room, an old office, in the back of the daycare.

"Myles, do you wanna tell her what happened?" Lena, his co-teacher says as she closes the door.

"No."

"Should I tell her?"

Myles curls up where he's sitting on the pillow in the corner. "No!"

"Lena, let me talk to him." You say softly and Lena steps out. You're nervous. Myles isn't actually your kid, you have no place reprimanding him for whatever happened. "Pup?"

"No. Nononono."

You take a seat beside him and lean against the wall. "What happened? I thought you were having a good day? Sha- Dad made you pancakes and everything this morning."

"I bit Jacob." He whispers, sniffling and looking over at you. "We were playing!"

"Oh," you try not to chuckle. You thought this would be much more serious. "Did you say sorry?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you upset?"

Myles huffs. "Because I didn't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because then Dad will make me come home."

You reach over and rub up and down his back. "I don't think Dad will make you come home for biting. You said you were playing?"

"Uh huh."

"And you got carried away and you said sorry?"

"Uh huh."

You run your hand over his hair and he falls sideways on his pillow. "No more biting okay?"

"Mmhmm." He sniffs. "Promise Dad won't make me stay home?"

"I promise. Let's get you back out there okay?"

"Okay."

_____________________

A few days after the biting incident Shawn decides to take Myles out into the wood for a run. It'll be his first one and he thinks maybe he's ready. If he's play fighting at school he's most likely ready to go out. Shawn invites you along and the three of you head for the Wolveswood.

"Are you excited pup?" You ask of the boy on your shoulders. "You and Dad get to run in the woods today!"

"You too!" Myles cheers and plays with your hair. "You gotta run too."

Shawn stops at the large oak tree and you set Myles down. "She doesn't shift, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Is she leaving?"

Shawn squats down and smiles. "She will still be here. You'll see bud, it'll be fun."

You take a seat on a root and watch as Shawn and Myles shift into their wolf forms. Shawn is pretty big, bigger than you remember and Myles is small like a couple months old puppy. He was small for his age so you're not surprised. The contrast between the two is alarming.

Shawn walks forward, nudging Myles toward you and he stumbles a bit. You reach out and pet Myles' head and he jumps into your lap.

"Hey bud," you pet his head again and he rolls onto your lap. "I don't think your dad wants you to lay on me."

Shawn paces and sits at the edge of the path. You set Myles down and he runs over to Shawn. You follow the two into the dense trees and it reminds you of when you would come here with Shawn when you were younger. The two of you spent hours with each other in these trees.

The two run along and you just enjoy the wilderness. It's just how you remember it being. The trees are all baren now, and the leaves cover the ground in beautiful orange and brown hues. Six years ago you left this place. How could you have been so stupid.  

You feel something bump your back and you turn around to see Shawn. He has Myles at his side and you rub his ear softly. "What's up?"

Shawn bumps you harder and you stumble back. He does it again and you tumble into some leaves.

"Hey!" You brush leaves off your hair and Myles runs over, pouncing in the leaves around you. "What was that for?"

Shawn stalks towards you and Myles jumps in front of him, growling his hardest. You raise your eyebrows. Myles howls loudly.  

Shawn shifts and stands before you and the pup. "Looks like someone is protective."

You put your hand out for him and he pulls you up. Myles runs off and hops around in the leaves nearby. "He reminds me of you."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm. Remember when we'd come out here with friends and you'd all shift?" You smile and shake your head. "You would never let anyone near me."

"Well that's because I had to keep you safe." He tucks some of your hair back as the wind picks up and blows it around. "Some of our friends were assholes."

"Yeah but no one would have hurt me."

"Accidents happen with young rambunctious wolves."

You smile softly and lean your head on his shoulder. "Yeah. You were always super cautious though." You loop your arm around his and he takes your hand.

"Do you think Myles is okay? Like I'm doing okay?"

"What? You're doing great. He's healthy and smart. He's not very big I'll admit but he was small when you found him right?"

"He was so tiny. Definitely the runt. It makes me sad to know he was possibly abandoned because he was so small they didn't think he'd survive."

You smile as Myles makes his way back toward you and Shawn. He looks delighted, like he's having the best time. "He's adorable."

"He likes you." Shawn says kissing your temple. "He knows that we're mates and he really looks up to you."

"He knows?"

"Hes a wolf. He can tell when others are taken. He might not understand it yet, I don't know, but he can definitely tell."

"I'm really glad I came back."

Shawn squeezes your side. "You can't imagine how I feel."

"I'm sure I can." You lay your head against his chest as he wraps his arms around you. "But I don't want to. I'm so sorry I put you through that loneliness."

"It's okay." He kisses your head. "You're here now. That's all that matters."

_____________________

It's a Monday when you and Myles head out of the Library front doors and see a woman sitting on the tree box. It's not unusual to see people sitting on the wood frame while waiting for someone or a ride or something. But there was something off about this woman. She put that sense of uneasiness in your heart, the way one might get when they experience something terrible. You guide Myles away from the tree and toward the sidewalk, hand firm in his.

"What's wrong?" He asks softly as you pick up the pace. Smart boy.

"Nothing Pup. I just want to see your dad."

"But you see him all the time."

You stop and pick Myles up and set him on your hip. He's heavy but not too bad. "I miss him is all. It was a long day."

"Yeah. It was." He sighs and lays his head on your shoulder. "Alpapabet is hard."

"Mmhmm." You murmur and hold his head against your shoulder. You can still feel the woman staring at you, but you will not look back and verify the feeling.

The walk to the coffee shop is long and exhausting with Myles on your hip. You don't want to put him down, something in you says to keep him as close as possible until you're with Shawn. The bell chimes over the door and you're glad to see the seating area is empty at the moment. It's nearly closing time, being late after noon, people aren't exactly flocking for coffee.

"Hey, how was school?" Shawn says, tossing a dish rag aside and walking out from behind the counter. "What's...?" You shake your head to cut him off.

You set Myles down and he begins to babble about his class and what he did all day. You take a seat and look out the window to see if the woman followed you.

Shawn sits across from you, having taken Myles to the play area behind the counter. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened. There was a woman outside the library and she made me uncomfortable. It's nothing, I just got a weird feeling."

"Was she saying anything? Did she approach you?"

You shake your head. "No. She just stared at me and Myles. It was weird, like I said, I was uncomfortable."

Shawn reaches across and takes your hands in his. "It's okay. Don't feel bad for trusting your instincts."

"No, I don't. I just hope Myles isn't uncomfortable."

"I don't think he is." He looks over at the small boy in the play area with his power rangers. "He seemed normal. Trust me, he will tell me if something is wrong. He has no filter. If something comes up again let me know?"

"Of course." You squeeze Shawn's hands. "I promise."

_____________________

You and Shawn go out on a date Saturday night, his mom has Myles again. Shawn hasn't seemed himself all week since the incident with the woman. You don't think that's what is really bothering him, as he hasn't said anything at all. Something is on his mind though and you can read him like a book as he picks at his dinner unenthusiastically. It's unlike him not to eat.

"So, what's going on?" You say nonchalantly.

"Hmm? Why do you mean?"

"You're not eating. You've hardly said a word."

"Sorry." He sits up in his chair and looks at you. "I'm just thinking about work."

"Work?"

"Yeah. I've got some things to sort out. It's fine."

You reach over and rub his forearm. "Talk to me. I'm here for you."

Shawn takes a deep breath. "The shop isn't doing so great lately and I need to find a way to make extra income because just selling coffee for ten hours a day and only making the gross majority of my profit in the morning, isn't working out."

You nod. "I see. What have you come up with?"

"Food? But I'd need to sink more money into expenditures to get food to make that."

"Mmm. What if you do something simple? Two sandwiches and a soup offering? Bakery goods? Could you partner with another shop in town?"

"I could do simple items, things I can get in bulk for pretty cheap. Or buy baked goods in bulk for cheap and resell for a small margin."

"What about breakfast?"

"Pancake mix I can stretch, and eggs aren't too expensive." Shawn runs his hand over his hair. "I've got some in savings for Myles, just for like in case he needs something but I can use a little."

You lean your chin on your hand. "I can bring my parents patio set over to the shop and we can set it up out front for outdoor seating."

"Really? They've got that nice black set right?"

"Mmmhmm. They left it with the house and I am never going to use it. I can even help you prep if you need in the morning."

Shawn smiles big. "I could offer WiFi at the shop too?"

"You could, but remember that's another bill."

"Yeah, true but I think I could make it work. Maybe charge a bit for the WiFi?"

"You could. Or maybe bring in some live music? In the afternoons?"

Shawn nods and smiles slightly. "That'd be good, I could charge a small fee to set up. It'd definitely bring people in I think."

"Alright, then you have a plan." You steal a fry off his dinner plate. "You better eat now before I take it all."

Shawn slides his plate away from you. "I will eat. You're just as bad as Myles."

"Am not."

He grins. "You're right, he's worse because he is as bad as his Dad."

You roll your eyes. "You are terrible when it comes to food theft."

Shawn holds a fry up for you. "But I'll share. A good alpha cares for his mate."

"Stopppp," you groan and take the fry. "No mate talk right now."

"Save it for the bedroom?"

"Shawn!"

He cackles and you drop your head into your arms on the table. "Hey," he reaches over and scratches your head. "Don't be so shy. It's okay to be mated and talk about it."

"I know. It's just so much to think about still. We haven't taken the time to discuss it. I think I understand but y'know, I'll probably never fully understand."

"I'll help."

"I know. It's only been a few weeks...a month? Shit. I'm still processing my move and seeing you again and Myles. Everything has happened so fast. Don't get me wrong, I love that you're here and I love Myles a lot even though we've just met. I'm happy but I'm just a little overwhelmed, or maybe I'm overthinking."

Shawn takes your hand and squeezes your fingers together gently. "Take your time. No one is rushing you into anything. I'm here no matter what you decide to do."

"I'm not leaving, if you're wondering about that."

"I've wondered yeah."

"No, I'm home again, for good."

"Good because I'm not too keen on letting you go again."

___________________

Laying in bed with Shawn, staring at the ceiling, it feels like the last six years never happened. The man beside you is out cold, arm up over his head, jaw slack. He's so beautiful when he's like this. Relaxed, innocent, not a care in the world. You swallow hard and sigh heavily. You hate feeling like this, like everything is just going too well.

"What's wrong?" Shawn asks and breaks the silence. He shouldn't even be awake.

"I thought you were passed out."

"I was. I felt your heartbeat quicken and woke up."

"Oh."

Shawn rolls onto his side and slides his hand up your bare stomach to tuck it around your rib cage. "Have you slept?"

"A little."

"Is your brain too loud?" He yawns. "Anxiety?"

You pause. He remembers that you have anxiety. Of course he does. "Yeah, I'm just in my head."

He noses at your neck gently, gives you a little kiss and a soft lick. He's always done this. His affection has always been a little different than any other guy you've known. "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to discuss. It's just me, just my head. I'm overthinking everything and you know how it is."

"Let's get up." Shawn pushes up so he's leaning over you. "We'll get some water, have a snack or something."

"Alright. I'll try anything."

Half an hour later you're in the living room of Shawn's apartment, legs tucked up under you while the tv plays silently across from you. It's some early 2000s sitcom rerun that plays late at night on the lower cable channels. You're not paying much mind to it.

"Here, an adult lunchable." Shawn says, placing a plate with crackers, cheese slices and ham cubes on your lap.

You can't help but crack a smile. "Adult lunchable huh?"

"Yeah." He sits beside you and pulls the blanket off the back of the couch. "You heard me."

You pick up a cracker and a cheese with the ham and pop it in your mouth. It's good. Really good actually, the cheese is strong and you raise your eyebrows at Shawn.

"Aged swiss. I got it at the farmers market last week. It's so good." He grabs a combo of food from the plate and eats it.

"When did you get so fancy?"

"Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself. Besides, I thought you might like it too."

You giggle a bit and shake your head. "You're something else Shawn."

"I am." He curls his lip up to reveal his fangs. "That's not news though."

"Not like that you goofba-" A loud banging stops you dead mid sentence. It's almost three in the morning. Who the hell is knocking on a door? Or trying to break it down.

Shawn stands and goes to the window that overlooks the street below. The apartment is above the coffee shop, so there aren't any neighbors. "I can't see anyone."

"Maybe something fell in the shop?"

"No, that was a forced banging. I'm going down." Shawn grabs his jacket from beside the door and you jump up, setting the plate of food aside.

"What if someone is down there?"

"I'll kick their ass?" Shawn opens the door and you grab his arm. "Honey, I'm not going to let someone break into my shop and ruin my whole lively hood."

"Call the police."

"No time. I need to see what is going on."

"What if-" The sound of breaking glass makes you jump and let out a little scream.

Shawn runs down the stairs and you grip the railing to the lower door tightly. He disappears outside and you remain frozen, eyes trained on the doorway.

Five minutes or so tick by so slowly until he reappears. "What is it?"

"I have no idea." Shawn motions for you to come downstairs. "The window looks like it just fell out of the doorframe to the shop."

You follow Shawn outside and to the shop door. Sure enough there is absolutely no glass left in the frame. It's like he said, the glass just fell out and broke. "That's weird. What about the banging?"

"I'm not sure. The door is locked." He pulls his keys from his jacket pocket and unlocks the shop. "Stay here while I go inside."

You grip your phone in your pocket and wait for him to give you an all clear. A moment later he returns, the lights flickering on in the shop reveals nothing out of place. It just looks like the shop at closing time.

"This is wild, I can't tell what made the banging. That absolutely sounded like someone at the door."

"It did. I don't know. Maybe someone was trying to get help and then the glass popped out and scared them off?"

Shawn scrubs his hand over his face. "Yeah, maybe. I can't even tell if it was a wolf, there are too many lingering scents here."

"Let's clean up."

"I'll clean up. You go on up to the house. Try to sleep if you can."

You wrap your arms around yourself, his sweatshirt so warm against your skin. "I'm not tired anymore."

Shawn walks around a nearby table and cups your face in his hands. "Please? You haven't slept. I know you don't work tomorrow, but you need rest."

"But..."

"No buts." He kisses you softly. "Go upstairs."

You lay your hands on his chest. "Come get me if you need me."

"Yes darling."

_____________________

You wake up sometime later, not remembering falling asleep. Your body must have been at it's limit. The light is dim shining in the window, likely a storm blowing in. Maybe it'll snow. You stretch out and your am collides with something soft.

You lift the blankets and find Myles curled up on Shawn's side of the bed. He's asleep, clutching his stuffed sea otter that he got at the zoo. He's told you the story about a hundred times in the last several weeks as small children do. Clearly it's very important to him. Shawn must have picked him up from his parents place before opening the shop.

The bedroom smells like coffee and you take a deep breath. It's so good. Rich and bright smelling with hints of hazelnut. You're such a sucker for coffee, Shawn really chose the perfect profession. You sit up and run your hand over your hair. Should you wake Myles up? No. Let him sleep.

Moving to get up you freeze, a little hand curling around your forearm. You look back and see Myles awake. He rubs his nose into the pillow.

"Good morning Pup."

"Mmmrning."

"I see you found me in Dad's bed."

Myles nods.

"Does Dad know you're in here?"

He giggles and shakes his head.

You run your hand over his hair. "It'll be our secr-"

Shawn walks in the open doorway and gasps playfully. "What is this? Have you stolen my mate?!"

Myles cackles and buries himself down in the bedding.

You laugh and Shawn leans down and kisses your forehead. "Good morning Shawn."

"Morning Honey." He tugs the blankets back to expose Myles. "I see I have a rouge pup in my bed, loving my mate up."

"Daddd! I was snugbulling!" Myles crawls over to your lap and lays his head on your thigh. "Momma's warm."

Your eyes go wide. Shawn must pick up on the way your heart stops because he lifts Myles off your lap and carries him over to the other side of the room. You can hear him say something to the boy but you can't make it out he is speaking so low. You remember your dream, the one from the day you found Shawn again. The one with the boy calling you Momma.

"Shawn?" You call out.

He turns and looks over to you, startled at the loudness of your voice. "Yes?"

"It's okay." You stand up and cross the room and put your arms out for Myles. "He can snuggle."

Shawn raises his eyebrows. "He can?"

"Yeah." You pet back Myles' mop of dark hair and he lays his head on your shoulder. "It'll be easier to start now."

"Are you ready for that? I thought you were still sorting things out?"

"I can't let myself wait to figure it out. I just have to do it, to be here and be in this." You kiss Myles' head. "I need to be a mate."

Shawn steps close and pulls you in, sandwiching Myles between the two of you. He presses a kiss to your head and whispers, "I love you."

"I love you, Shawn."

"I love you too Dad." Myles mumbles and blows a kiss. You both chuckle at him and he wiggles to be set down. "Breakfast Dad." He grabs Shawn's hand and you take the other one, fingers intertwining.

______________________

Another Monday comes following the really great weekend of staying at Shawn's place. You're sitting in the back office of the library getting books sorted that have been damaged. You're taking logs to make sure and order new ones of them. Your coworker Brenda who works the front desk walks in and closes the door behind her, making you look up from your work curiously because the door always stays open.

"Is Myles adopted?"

"Um, y-yeah?" You swallow thickly. Had someone found out he wasn't your son? It wasn't a big deal, but maybe it was. "Why?"

"Well, there was someone here asking to pick up a child early. She wouldn't give me a name but said his adopted mother worked here. I know you're not a wolf, so I thought maybe Myles was adopted and she was asking for him?"

You stand up and knock over your stack of books. "Is she still here? "

"No. She left when I told her she would need to bring a note of approval of absence from a parent."

You wrap your arms around yourself. "Do you have security camera access?"

"Yes of course." Brenda nods. "Do you need something?"

"I want to see the video footage of the woman who came in. Please?"

Brenda opens the door and waves you to follow. "Come on, I'll show you. Obviously you're concerned."

"Of course I am." You follow her down the hall. "If that woman was here for Myles then I need to know. No one should come for him besides myself, Shawn and Karen, Shawn's Mom. I'm going to assume it was not Karen."

"She would know his name, right?"

"Exactly."

____________________

After viewing the footage you call Shawn. The woman was the same one from the other day outside the library. The one who made you uncomfortable. The phone rings and rings. Shawn probably has it on the charger in the storage room. You click to hang up and go to Brenda.

"Can you put a note in Myles' file that no one is allowed to pick him up but Shawn or myself?"

"Of course. Is something going on? Do you think that woman was really here for Myles?"

"Yeah, maybe. Even if she wasn't, that behavior is extremely fishy. Can we ban her?"

Brenda nods and holds up a printed copy of a screengrab from her computer of the footage. "I'm already on it."

You nod. "Good. I'm going to finish my ordering. Let me know if anything else comes up."

____________________

As soon as you get to the shop with Myles and work you tell Shawn what happened, and how the woman was the same one that made you uneasy. Shawn closes up early and locks the front door. He's not happy, it's quite obvious.

"Does Myles know?" He asks as he sinks into the corner booth where you're sitting with a cup of tea he made for you.

"No, he doesn't. Brenda wasn't going to let him out of the care room under any circumstances. She didn't even know for sure if it was Myles she was asking for. The woman didn't know his name."

"Good." Shawn runs his hand over his hair and tugs. "You're absolutely sure this was the same woman?"

"Yes Shawn. I'm a thousand percent sure. I knew something was up, I just didn't know what. Why would someone try to take Myles?"

"I don't know." He looks to his son in the corner as he stages a little cafe with his power ranger toys and pretends to take an order. "I've had him for almost three years now. He'll be five, or what I assume is five, honestly we have no idea how old he is but developmentally he is almost five."

"His birthday is coming up?"

"Yeah. I found him just before New year's, out there in the snow."

"So that's his birthday?"

Shawn nods. "Mmhmm. The day I found him is his birthday. But that aside, I've had him this long and I've never had any problems. No one has ever come for him, or showed up looking for him."

"Maybe that woman is related?" You stir your tea and chew your lip nervously. "Maybe she has been looking for him."

"I've been afraid of that, but I figured that three years passed, no one would come back. Then again I thought six years was a sure thing you weren't coming back but here you are." Shawn lets out a heavy sigh that borders on a growl. "Fuck."

You reach across and grab his hand on the table. "Shawn, it's up to you what you want to do. You're Myles' father. If this woman is his mom, or his Grandma or related in someway, it's up to you if you want him to meet them. They left him, abandoned him to die in the Wolveswood years ago. They have no claim to him at all."

"I know. I'm torn. What if this woman can tell me something about him? What if I should know something?"

"I think in three years you would have found out if there was anything wrong with him. He's been to the doctor right?"

"Yes of course. Every six months he has his check ups and he's gotten everything he needs to be healthy. I even take him to the dentist twice a year to make sure his teeth aren't coming in wrong."

"Then he is fine. If that woman shows up again, then you can speak with her. Or if you don't want to do that, simply tell her to leave."

Shawn nods. "Yeah, I don't want to confuse Myles. I'll tell her to leave us alone."

"Sounds good."

"I do want to keep Myles here tomorrow. I'd just feel better if he was close, in case that woman comes back to the library."

"I'll let Lena know he'll be out." You bring Shawn's hand up and kiss it softly. "You're doing your best, don't stress."

"I know." He smiles tiredly. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

______________________

Shawn keeps Myles home the next day. He has Lettie run the shop while he gives his son a really good day together. They go out for breakfast, go to the park, watch the geese at the lake, make lunch together. He makes sure Myles knows he is loved, not that he would really doubt it. Shawn gives everything he has and more to the child.

Wednesday rolls around and you have a day off since you're picking up a co-worker's Saturday shift. You decide to hang out with Shawn, learn a little bit about coffee and drink making. It's slow in the shop. Myles is down for a nap, Shawn having kept him home again since you wouldn't be at the library.

"So you wanna make drinks?" Shawn says sing songy and grabs a cup off the stack by the registers. "You wanna know my secrets?"

You giggle. "Share your sage advice oh wise barista."

"First you start with the bean!" Shawn grabs a handful of beans ready to go in the roaster. "THE MASTER OF ALL!"

You roll your eyes and let out a reluctant chuckle at his antics. "My god you're ridiculous."

"Maybe. But maybe I'm the bean whisperer. How bout that?"

You grab the cup from him and go to the coffee tanks. "Enough bean master, let's get to the mixy mixy."

Shawn chuckles to himself and steps up behind you. "Start with your brew strength." He points out each tank labeled with blonde, medium, dark roasts. "Then choose your flavors or sweeteners."

You pour out a dark roast cup. "I want caramel."

"This way, Honey." He says, going over to a little tiered set up on the back counter of pumps of flavouring. "Toasted caramel? Salted caramel?"

"Which is sweeter?"

"Toasted."

You lift the cup to the pump and out your palm over the spout. "How many?"

"Well, do you want the coffee to be lightly flavored or," He presses his nose into your hair and grabs your hips. "Extra sweet."

"Shawn," you giggle and he sways your hips in time with his. "Quit it."

"I can't help it." He wraps his arms around you. "I'm in one of my moods."

You pump down two squirts of the caramel and set the coffee down, eyes scanning for a stir stick. "Your moods huh?"

"Yeah." He slides a hand up your shirt and you slap your hand down against it to stop him. "We are in the shop Shawn!"

Shawn kisses along your neck and you can't help but shiver. "We've had fun in much worse places haven't we?"

"Shawn. Please, someone could walk in."

He lets out a growl and peels himself away from you. "Alright, fine. You ruin my fun."

You hold your cup up. "Maybe I have to because you have alpha brain right now and you just want to fuck and I want to learn how to make a caramel cream coffee."

"Yes darling." He shows you to the milk machine. "Alright so this is where we steak the milk. Please be careful."

You turn on the machine and wait as it bubbles inside. "Okay, when?"

"Hold on now." Shawn grabs a metal cup with a handle and gets under the bar to get a carton of milk. "We have to get the milk first."

"Oh. It's not in there?"

"No. It's going to just heat it." Shawn kisses your cheek. "Let me do it the first time okay?"

You step aside and he pours out the milk to a notch in the metal cup. He puts the cup up onto the spigot and flips it on. The machine bubbles and the milk gurgles in the cup. "That looks easy?"

"It's hot."

"You're hot." You smirk and Shawn gives you a warning look. You know you shouldn't tease him when he's already in a mood.

"Your milk." He pours it into your cup and stirs with a stir stick from a cup on top of the machine.

You lift the cup and take a sip. It's good. Not exactly what you wanted, but it's good nonetheless. "Should we check on Myles?"

Shawn nods. "He should be woken up. It's almost time for lunch."

"I'll go get him." You offer, setting aside your coffee. "You should watch the shop."

"I better not come up there and find you snuggled up if you don't return."

"But what if he wants snuggled? Shouldn't the baby boy be snuggled?"

Shawn rolls his eyes. "Five minutes. Don't spoil him."

"Oh he is already spoiled."

"Yeah," Shawn chuckles. "He is."

____________________

You walk into Myles' small bedroom and see him sleeping on his little toddler bed. It's precious, completely space themed with the bed being a rocketship. Shawn truly spoils this child rotten. You kneel beside the bed and lay your hand on his back, rocking him gently to wake him up.

"Pup, it's time to wake up now."

The moment your voice reaches his ears he jumps, small body jerking with incredible force as he presses himself to the wall. There is terror in his eyes for a flash of a second before he registers who you are.

"Myles are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?"

He crawls and begins to cry, arms wrapping around you as he clambors forward. You hold him, pulling him off the bed and into your lap as you take a seat on the floor more comfortably. He shakes, fingers curled tight in your shirt.

You rub his back and he continues his soft crying. "Tell me about it?"

"I was in the forest and Dad was gone and uh, uh a lady says I should go with her." He wipes his nose on your shoulder. "But but Dad said no because I don't know her that I don't do that. So I said no! and she got mad."

"Oh." You swallow hard, worried this dream could be connected to the woman who keeps appearing. "Did anything else happen?"

"No. I woked up and I thinked you were the lady."

"Oh bud, I'm sorry I scared you."

Myles releases you and sits on the floor in front of you. "It's okay Momma."

Your heart clenches. You won't get used to that name anytime soon. "Let's go see Dad. He probably has some lunch for you, or maybe we can get some."

"Oh good. I'm starving." Myles says matter of fact and goes to his bedroom door.

You follow after and he takes your hand as you go down the stairs to the door outside. It's busy, the shops across the street having people coming and going. You spot a woman on the bench across from the shop, opposite side of the street in front of the hardware store. It's her. You pick Myles up and he hugs you tightly. Your heart races and you stare at her, memorizing her face, hoping she is looking at you and understanding she is not welcome.

When you get into the shop it's busy and Shawn is rushing around behind the counter. The line is six deep. You carry Myles around behind the counter and into the storage room. Shawn gives you a look but you shake your head.

You wait until the line goes down and Shawn has a free moment to call him over to the backroom. He doesn't need much encouragement, he is on his way the second he realizes he is free.

"What is going on?" Shawn asks under his breath.

"Myles had a dream about the woman and she was across the street on a bench. I think she's stalking him."

Shawn sneers, flashing his teeth in a rare threatened alpha moment. His eyes go to the doors of the shop, scan across the windows to see anyone outside. "What does she look like?"

"My height, brown hair, quite a bit older than us. Maybe early forties? Or maybe time wasn't kind, but she is white and has on a brown sweater and-"

Shawn stalks across the shop and opens the door, going out and leaving you speechless.

"Daddy's mad." Myles mumbles and grabs your fingers. "Is he okay?"

"Yes pup. He is unhappy with someone outside."

"Can I have juice?"

You look around. "Where does Dad keep your cups?"

"Here." He walks over and pats a cupboard door under the register. "Juice is in the refridgermater."

You eye the front doors as you retrieve the juice for Myles. You don't want him to worry, but you're sure he already senses your anxiety rising.

A hand lands on your leg and you look down at Myles. He wraps his arms around your thigh. "It's okay Momma."

You clench your jaw and hold back your emotions. The boy is so sweet and so sensitive. You squat down and hand him his cup. "It's okay, I know. How bout we go see what Mr. Red ranger has ordered today?"

Myles smiles big and hurries off to the backroom where his toys are laying by a storage shelf.

The door jingles upon opening and you look over to see Shawn walking in. He's not much happier than he was before he went out. His teeth are still prominent, eyes wild. You're going to assume he has not found the woman.

"I don't like this." Shawn growls. "I don't play games and not with our son at risk."

"Our son."

"Yes that's what I said, I-" He stops and realizes the weight of his words. "My son. Our son? He calls you Momma so-"

"It's okay." You lay your hand on Shawn's shoulder. "He's our son."

"Yeah, he is. No one is going to take him."

"Over my dead body. She was gone wasn't she?"

"Yes. She was completely gone. I just want to talk to her, to find out what her problem is. We assume it's Myles, but maybe it's not?"

"You think she's after me?"

Shawn shrugs. "I don't know. She hasn't seen me as far as we know, and she's only come to your work until now. Maybe she needs to see you?"

"No, it's Myles. It has to be. He dreamed about her, there is something going on I just don't know what."

"Next time we see her, we will approach her."

"Absoultely. As long as I don't have Myles with me. I'm not risking her snatching him or something."

Shawn shakes his head. "No of course not. I have a feeling she will be back though. I'll take care of it."

_____________________

The next few days are quiet, not much going on at work or at the coffee shop. You have dinner with Shawn and Myles one night, go see a movie at the drive in another night. Life feels normal and good until you get home one evening and something isn't right.

It starts on your drive home. You turn the radio off while you think about the woman that has been appearing. You're not sure what has gotten you thinking about her, but something has. It bothers you. Why didn't she approach you? Why didn't she talk to you? What was her motive? It all points to Myles. She must be related somehow. Maybe she doesn't even know how yet. Maybe she just recognizes a familiar scent on him. You sigh and turn into the driveway of your house.

You sense something is wrong when you turn the handle on the front door and it's not even latched. You know you locked it because you locked yourself out that morning and had to go in through the garage to get your keys. You step back and grab the strap of your purse, hand going to your pocket for your phone.

"Anyway then he said he couldn't go but I know he could..." You spin around and see your neighbor and a friend walking past your house chit chatting.

"You okay honey?" The friend asks, stopping your neighbor in her conversation.

You step down off the porch and clutch your phone. "Y-yeah."

"You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you sure?"

"Actually..." You glance back at the door. "Have you two seen anyone here? Or anyone you don't recognize around the neighborhood?"

The neighbor shakes her head. "No, not that I can recall. Is something wrong? Is your house okay?"

"I think so? It's just my door is unlocked and I know I locked it this morning. I'm worried that someone may have broke in and-"

"Oh honey, call the police. I wouldn't mess around with that." The friend says, pulling out her phone. "My husband works at the precient let me just give him a call."

"Oh that's okay he's probably busy. I probably just made a mistake or something."

"Dear you should have someone stop by before you go inside. If you're confident you locked it and it's unlocked then you should not go in." Your neighbor ushers you toward the sidewalk. "There could be a feral wolf in there. Y'know I heard one of them rouge packs has been in the Wolveswood lately."

"What? Really?" You bring your phone up and open Shawn's contact. "When did you hear that?"

"About three days ago? Some of the ladies at the book club were talking about it. I really wish the city council would do something about it. What if one of the kids gets hurt out there?"

You nod and lift your phone to your ear. "Excuse me, sorry." The phone rings and rings. Finally after six times Shawn answers. "Shawn? Can you come by the house?"

"Of course. Should I bring Myles?"

"No. Drop him off at you mom's house. There is something going on."

Shawn says something to Myles. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Have you called anyone else?"

"No, um well, the neighbor is calling her husband who's a cop. I'm not sure what's going on but the door to the house is unlocked and...Shawn I don't want Myles to be scared. I don't want you to panic."

He takes a deep breath. "I know. I'll try to stay calm. I'm on my way."

You lower your phone and stare at the front door of the house. If that woman is in there you're going to lose your shit. This has gone too far. What if you had brought Myles home with you before stopping at the coffee shop? What if you went in and the woman was there? Would she hurt you? You step back and your neighbor lays her hand on your shoulder.

"Breath dear, you're turning blue."

"Sorry." You shake your head and take a deep breath. "I'm just nervous."

"That's alright. I understand, this isn't something to take lightly. Hopefully all is well and nothing has happened and you did just forget to lock the door."

"No, I locked it, and it's not even latched. Someone was in my house or is right now."

"The cops are coming." Your neighbor's friend says softly.

"Thank you."

____________________

The moment Shawn arrives he pulls you into his arms. The cops arrived only moments before and have gone into the house to investigate. Shawn buries his face in your hair and cups the back of your neck with his hand as if he let go for just a moment he might lose you. He's burning hot, skin radiating heat through his clothes and into you. You're sure he's going mad in his head, mind racing with every scenario that could have played out. You slide your hand up his back, nails raking gentle against his spine to soothe him, to bring him down from a feral high.

"The house is clear." An officer says as he approaches. His badge says Martin. "There's signs of an invasion, we'll need you to verify any missing items."

"Yeah, sure." You nod and step away from Shawn, hand going to his. "Come on honey."

Shawn walks with you to the front door and he tenses, eyes darting around as if he senses something, or someone. "What is going on?"

"Hmm."

Your hand falls away as you step through the door frame. "Is something wrong?"

He shakes his head and follows after you.

The house has been ransacked. Your living room is torn up, the couch flipped, Myles’ play pen is destroyed, the drawers of your end table opened and emptied. You cover your mouth and stifle a cry as you take it all in. Whoever it was, wanted something.

"Ma'am, I know this is difficult to take in. Please let us know if anything is gone. We will add it to the report."

"Is the whole house like this?" You turn and look at officer Martin and he gives a gentle sorrowful look.

“Some of the rooms are too.” Martin says.

"Oh my God."

"Honey, they'll find who did this." Shawn says and wraps his arm around you to pull you into his chest. "Or I will." He says under his breath.

You look at the mantle and a photo of you and Shawn with Myles is missing. "The photo from his first day of kids care."

Shawn looks back and forth across the mantle. "It's gone. Why would they take it?"

"For reference?"

Officer Martin steps in. "Something gone?"

"A photo of us with our son, Shawn's son technically." You explain, lifting another frame. "It's this big or so."

"Maybe it's in the mess." Officer Martin offers, looking around the floor. "Is there anything of value in the frame?"

"No, just the photo."

Shawn moves away from you and pulls the officer aside. "Sir, can I talk to you outside? It may pertain to the situation."

"Of course."

"Baby, I'll be right back, I'm going to talk to the cop outside okay?" Shawn calls to you as you walk into the kitchen.

You nod. "Yeah, okay I'll be here." You look around the kitchen and it's fine for the most part. Some stuff has been moved, drawers opened but not emptied. Beside the kitchen is the mudroom and it's untouched. You stare up the stairs adjacent, nervous to find out what your bedroom looks like, not to mention the other two rooms up there. You take a deep breath and start the climb to find out.

_____________________

Your room is untouched. It looks exactly how you left it this morning. You waste no time looking around and move to the guest room that was once your brother's bedroom. It's okay, the same as always. Then you go to the room that used to be yours, the smallest upstairs and the one you use for Myles when he comes over. It has a twin size bed and some of his toys in it. It is the room you're sure won't be untouched.

The door falls open when you push on it and inside is dark. You turn on the light and sure enough it looks like someone has localized a tornado in there. Everything from the bed sheets to the spare change of Myles' clothes are strewn about. You cover your mouth. Had the intruder really come for Myles, thinking he was here?

Shawn calls your name and you turn in the doorway to see him at the top of the stairs. "We should go get Myles."

"I'm not bringing him back here."

"No, we're not. We'll go to the apartment. I don't want you to stay here either. I think we should be together right now."

You walk down the hall to meet him and he puts his arm around you, cradling your head to his chest. "Why is someone doing this?"

"I don't know. They want Myles back? I can't imagine why. He was abandoned. It’s been years."

"I know. I just feel like it's my fault somehow. Everything started happening when we got back together."

"No, shh." Shawn kisses your head. "You haven't done anything wrong. Let's finish up with the officers here and go get Myles and go home. It's too stressful in this house right now."

_____________________

Morning comes the next day after a restless night and you wake up in Shawn's bed with a weight on your chest. It's Myles. He is using you as a pillow, legs and body stretched out across Shawn's side of the bed. You rest your hand on his hair and scratch gently. He stirs, wakened by your touch.

"Momma?" Your heart races, it does every time he calls you that.

"What, Pup?"

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything. Why are you sorry?"

Myles turns his head and faces you, his little cheek squished into your skin. "Because you're scared." He pats his hand in time with your heartbeat over your chest.

You smile softly. "I'm not scared. I just woke up."

"But your heart is all bumbumbum."

"That's because I love you." You put your hand over his and he makes big eyes at you. "I realized you were sleeping on me and I am happy because you're my favorite pup."

Myles giggles. "Ohh. My heart goes bumbumbum too when you get me after school sometimes."

"That's when you get excited. Your heart can beat fast for a lot of reasons."

He nods. "Dad's does that when you are near him. What's that mean?"

You smile big and close your eyes. This child is so sweet, he has no idea. "It means Dad loves me and is happy when we are together. Let's go back to sleep. I'm very tired."

"Me too." Myles says as he stretches. He shifts around and lays beside you, cuddles against your side. "I love you too Momma."

You turn and hold him against you, chin on his head. He's warm like Shawn, the wolf in him making him run hotter than average. You close your eyes and relax, he's safe and so are you.

_____________________upadate

When you get up later in the morning Shawn is still gone. You assume he is at the shop working like usual but when you go down with Myles he isn't there.

"Lettie, is Shawn out?" You ask as you place Myles down by his toys.

The sweet old woman looks up from her magazine. "He wasn't here dear. I saw him come down this morning and head out across the street. He texted me last night about running the shop today for him. I figured he was going to your place but now I see that isn't the case."

"He left? He didn't say anything to me about that. What time did he leave?"

Lettie looks back at the clock. "Around five this morning."

"He's been gone all morning. Can you watch Myles? I'm gonna run upstairs and check for a note."

"Sure thing dear."

You head out the door and go to the door to the apartment stairs. Surely Shawn would have left a note or even a text saying he wasn't going to be at the shop. He never said anything about leaving yesterday, in fact he was pretty hell bent on keeping you and Myles close. You search the living room and kitchen counters for any notes. Nothing. No luck at all. Maybe something came up? But with who? His parents? The woman? You sink down onto the couch and stare at the ceiling.

"Shawn, what are you doing?" You ask out loud. "Why on Earth did you leave me here with Myles when shit is hitting the fan?"

You a,re torn. On one hand you want to go see if he's at the Wolveswood because you have a feeling that after finding out about a rogue pack he may have gone there for answers. On the other hand you have to keep Myles safe and leaving him with someone else isn't exactly your best option. Not that you stand a chance against a werewolf should anything happen gods forbid it but you'd rather he be with you.

There is no use keeping Myles downstairs with Lettie if Shawn's not working. You'll grab him and bring him back up for some breakfast and play time. It's best you just stay home and wait to hear from Shawn.

Two hours later and it's nearly noon. You've not heard from Shawn despite calling him twice and leaving messages. You're beginning to worry if he's alright. Myles knows something is wrong but he doesn't say anything, just sits real close and lays on your lap while you watch TV.

Nearly four in the afternoon and you have yet to know where Shawn is. Panic is starting to set in and you worry he's gone after the woman or the rogue wolves and gotten hurt. How could he be so reckless? How could he just leave you without warning? At least leave a note so you can send the police for him if he doesn't return by a certain time.

You grab your keys and get Myles dressed to go to his Karen's house. You're going to go after Shawn and the best place for Myles is her house. You have no idea how you're going to find him, but you're going to try locating his car first and work from there.

After leaving Myles with Karen you double back to the entrance of the Wolveswood. Sure enough Shawn's Jeep is there but you realize you have absolutely nothing to defend yourself with if you go inside. You turn back onto the road and head for your house. You have a taser in the top drawer of your dresser and you might have a knife or two in the garage from your dad's hunting and fishing stuff your parents kept in there.

You are in and out of the house fairly quickly, having found the taser and a good-sized knife for skinning deer. You hope you won't have to use either one but if the occasion comes you're ready. There is one last stop you need to make and it's at Shawn's place to lock up. You had forgotten in the rush to get Myles to Karen's place and you don't need someone wandering into his house.

You climb the stairs to the apartment and you freeze with your key in the lock. You can hear someone talking outside the lower door. It spooks you and you open the door and go inside, flipping the lock just in case. You go to the front windows and look down to see if there is anyone out there on their cell phone. There is someone there and it's a guy in maybe his thirties, looking at the door, then to your car. Your stomach sinks.  

You feel around your pockets and realize you've left your phone in the car with your purse. Outside the guy stops talking and is standing in front of the door, looking up. You back away from the window and go to the kitchen. You grab a dining chair and shove it against the front door handle. The only other exit is through the fire escape in Myles' bedroom.

Just as you get the window open you can hear pounding on the front door you've blocked. As you suspected, the guy was not just some innocent passerby. You duck out of the window onto the railings of the fire escape. If you can just get down to the shop you know Lettie is in there cleaning up. You're not alone. You take a deep breath and try to calm your racing heart and shaking hands. Panic won't help you.

The latch on the ladder is stuck, rusty and unused. You kick at it trying to loosen it. If you can't get it undone you're not going to get down. The ladder stops short about ten feet from the ground and there isn't even a dumpster you can land on in a movie like escape. You kick harder and still nothing. You look up to the roof and there is a ladder there for maintenance but that's not going to help you if you're discovered. The roof is a trap.

You lean into the window and look around Myles' room for something you can hit the latch with. His room isn't exactly filled with tools or anything outside of plush blankets and action figures. There's a bottle of lotion on his dresser. Maybe it'll work as a lubricant. You crawl in and grab it and head back out to get to work.

Inside you hear the chair in front of the door scoot loudly against the wooden floor. You kick the latch one more time and it drops, the ladder extending down to the ground. Your heart clenches and you're gone, climbing down as fast as your hands and feet will allow. The ground under your feet is sweet solace as you barrel through the back storage room door into the cafe.  

"Hey! Who's there?!"

"It's me Lettie!" You yell and head for the phone on the wall in the small office area where Shawn keeps his paperwork and invoices. "I don't have time to explain. Someone has broken into Shawn's apartment."

"What?!" Lettie looks up at the ceiling. "I heard some noise from up there but I figured you were just cleaning or something while Myles is away."

You dial the police and hold the phone against your ear as it rings. "I got out through the fire escape."

Lettie grabs her keys and heads for the front door. "That son of a bitch isn't getting away with this."

"Lettie! What're you doing?"

"I'm locking them in!"

"How?"

"I've got keys. It used to be my place before it was Shawn's.  I've got the spares in case Shawn locks himself out." Lettie says triumphantly. "Let's see them escape now."

"Lettie- yes hello, I'd like to report a break in." You turn away from the old woman going out to lock the stairwell door to the apartment. "I'm at 223 Main Street at the Full Moon Brew coffee shop. My boyfriend's apartment above has been broken into.  Yes I'm fine. No I'm not alone, I'm with an employee in the shop."

The operator asks a few more questions and informs you a squad car is on its way. Just as the woman is repeating back your information the line clicks and goes dead. "Hello?" You pull the phone away as the dial tone beeps. "Fuck."

Outside Shawn's Jeep pulls up in front of the shop and your heart stops. What impeccable timing. You can see Lettie talking to him and he looks upstairs then into the shop. He looks wild and you know he isn't going to wait for the police.

______________

"Shawn." You say softly as he enters the shop and strides up to you. "He's safe, he's with your mom."

"Oh thank Gods. How did you know what I was going to ask?"

"He's our son and he's not here." You glance up at the ceiling. "Of course you're going to ask."

"Who's in my house?"

"I have no idea. They showed up as soon as I got here to lock up. I'm pretty sure they followed me from the Wolveswood."

Shawn growls low and curls his fingers around the nearby countertop ledge. "He's one of them. There's a whole pack trying to find Myles. From what I gather he's the son of their alpha and his mother abandoned him because she and the alpha were not mates."

"How did they find him?"

"The mother confessed. She is the one we've been seeing everywhere. She thought she could just take him and save her life if she brought back the child before anyone found out she abandoned him." Shawn glares at the ceiling as footsteps creak across the floor boards. "I'm willing to bet that's the alpha."

"His dad."

"No. I'm his dad. I raised him and he is my child." He heads for the back door, following the footsteps overhead. "And no one is going to take him from you or me without going through my dead body."

"Shawn, don't start a fight. If you die, what happens to me? Do you really think they'll just interrogate me into giving Myles up and let me live?" You shake as you speak, voice trembling harshly. "Let the police take care of this."

Shawn stops at the backdoor and grips the frame harshly, the wood splintering under his grip. "I'm that guy's worst nightmare. He came after my family, my child. I won't wait for the police, I have to deal with him myself."

"Just wait! Shawn! No!" You shout as he runs out into the alley. He's going for the fire escape no doubt. You step out the door and he's already on the metal overhang above you.

__________

to be continued

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted works.*****

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[mikalishi]

— courtney eaton, demi woman — summertime and the living’s… hold on, is that MIKA LEE ?!  I heard the TWENTY TWO  who goes by SHE / THEY was spotted near halona recently. Is it true they’ve been on the island for HER ENTIRE LIFE? i’m pretty sure they work as LIFEGUARD. wonder how island life treats them considering they’re known for being +FRIENDLY but also -IMPULSIVE.  either way, i’m looking forward to spending the summer with them. ☼ ( the camaraderie between you and the drunk girl you just met in the bathroom, salt water clinging to your eyelashes, pulsing music and dilated pupils, laughing at yourself for crying, screaming at the top of your lungs from excitement ) 

ABOUT THE MUN.  born to party forced to blog :/

hey,,,, hey,,,, how y’all doin sdkjsd yes, it is me, besties and sexies. pepperoni mcpony. the latest bitch alive. also the bitch who asked for y’all’s advice and proceeded not to take it. i am so sorry about that by the way but if it helps i am also the bitch who might just change her mind tomorrow,,,, just double libra things 🤪✌️ we hate to see it truly honestly the stars really fucked me over, but anyways skjdskj we’re getting into what we are all here for. what this section was made for. fun facts about me that you don’t need to know, but idk might just bring us closer, and wouldn’t that be sexy? okay, starting strong, i had a mildly irrational but very deep rooted fear of sharkboy from sharkboy and lava girl as a child, and i’m not gonna lie besties, he still terrifies me. why did they put gills on that child. why did they do that. anyways, along that vein i was also afraid of gill from kim possible, and now as a grown woman i’m a little bit scared of the deep from the boys. now that my deepest fears are out of the way, i want y’all to know that nothing brings me more serotonin than pinterest, plotting, and women. i’m a slut for hunter schafer honestly, that woman could do anything to me and she should yk, she deserves it. speaking of being hunter schafer’s bitch, i’m also a little bitch. i cry every time i watch lilo and stitch or the first pokemon movie and earlier this week i cried in a mcdonald’s parking lot while watching someone react to avenger’s endgame on youtube. fuck marvel btw, they owe me money for emotional distress. finally, i’m a sparkling water stan who drinks nothing but sparkling water all day but is somehow still dehydrated. we exist. anyways moving on to things about mikael. 

BIO. hi margaret, i hope this email blows your tits clean off

i’ll make mike a proper bio one day, but today is not that day

she grew up here in hawaii and was raised by her two mother’s. she was a sperm donor baby rather than adopted, and although mika hates to think that her entire existence is due to some old guy doing what he needed to into a jar and some rando with a turkey baster, she’s thankful mostly. 

she’s never met donor dad and she never wants to, please see above. she simply wouldn’t be able to look that man in the eye. 

but her moms were her moms. they were okay. at a young age mika’s mama noticed that she was a bit of a looker and she therefore decided to get mika into some baby modeling and such. mika booked a few little local jobs, and quickly became a semi well known face around town. this only became bigger when mama decided to make mika the face of her small local business. mika’s mother owns an ethical sunscreen brand, which as you can guess is very lucrative in a place like this. mika’s cute little face has therefore been in like storefronts. in local commercials. hell, she even did little ads on the radio. at one point this little loser was even in pageants, and she got second place in ms. hawaii! like baby was a tiny star! 

she really hated it though. 

like mika just wasn’t a fan of the vibe yk. and she didn’t really have much of a say in the career path considering her parents got her into it when she was in diapers, and when she tried to be like !!! i’m tired of this grandpa !!! her mama was big emotionally manipulative, big guilt trip vibes, big ‘after all that we’ve done for you this is how you pay us back!’ vibes. mika was called everything under the sun for not wanting to be her mother’s little dress up doll, and we hate that for her so much. 

mika also hated it honestly, so she started acting out a bit in her early teens. she started going out to parties and local clubs, she started hanging out with older boys and girls, she started taking them drugs and incidentally she made a name for herself in a whole other way. her mama wasn’t happy about that, as you can guess because !!! mika represented her brand !!! what if this got out??

but mika didn’t particularly care if it got out tbh. she just wanted to have fun. she wanted to be a person rather than a manequin. and despite her mom’s best efforts to mediate, mika and her mama had a big blow out fight one night that resulted in mika being told to get in line or get out!! 

she got out. 

so mika has been living semi on her own since she was seventeen. couch surfing, mostly. for a while she lived with her older sibling, who is an wc btw, nudge nudge, wink wink, and then with a friend, and then with a boyfriend, and then with a girlfriend. honestly, sometimes mika would do a little flirting just so she’d have somewhere to stay the night. that’s until she finally saved enough up and found cool enough people to live with. now she rents an apartment with three or four friends, new girl style. this is also a wc, wink wonk. 

she’s now working as a lifeguard at the local resort. she’s pretty good at her job, but she mostly just chills out and re-enacts that WALK PLEASE tiktok all day with her little whistle. she also still to this day regularly gets stopped by people being like omg you’re the ʻōpuʻu lā girl !! and mika simply has to be like haha yes that’s me, and pose for a little picture. she kinda hates the reputation, especially when those little fan encounters inconveniently happen on a walk of shame, but honestly she loves makai and hawaii and she literally cannot imagine living anywhere else so. yuh, she suffers for love. 

HEADCANNONS. shawty got them evil bottom jeans. boots with the curse.

is allergic to bananas but will still eat them. 

a bit of a slut but in a fun and funky way. she’s simply having a good time, and i love that for her. 

the kind of person who lays face down in the pool and pretends to d word just for funsies. 

she’s poor, so whenever she goes to like starbucks or even the hotel she steals from them. like not anything serious but like all those packets of sugar and complimentary tea? hers now. the stirring sticks? in her pockets. the little bottles of shampoo and soap? don’t mind if she does. honestly, she probably even showers there when she’s in a pinch, just sneakily does it by snatching someone’s room key and returning it before they notice. honestly, is mike a bit of a klepto? maybe so. jj maybank pls interact. 

the kind of girl who tells strangers she loves them just to see what they’ll do. like she’s on the phone with the pizza guy and she’s like kay love you ! and when he says love you back she’s like omg,,, are we about to kiss rn ??

her instagram and twitter handle are @mikangelo. before that they used to be @mikal 

she thinks she’s funny. sometimes she is. 

they have a pet snack named corn. we love corn. if you’re facetiming with her sometimes she will let you watch corn eat a whole rat. 

doesn’t care what pronouns you use for them majority of the time, like honestly she would even be pretty comfy with her. she says fuck gender at all times though. 

idk if this was clear at all, but mika’s mother’s brand is called  ʻōpuʻu lā! and although mika and her mama still haven’t talked properly since she left the house, mika still wears sunscreen every single damn day. you won’t catch her slipping on that! she reaplies once every two hours to, your girl is dedicated. 

omg i almost forgot, but mika wrote a fanfic as a teenager that is like wildly popular. like she’s literally having publishers like reach out to her wanting to smack that thing into like real life bookstores. honestly, mika hates the fic and thinks it’s stupid, but she’s not going to say no to money. i imagine that the fic was like ??? a maze runner fic maybe. baby has some class yk. 

also bi !

i’m slowly realizing she’s got a bit of the vibes of lilo from lilo and stich but yk what that’s okay, we love lilo and we’re moving on 

here is her pinterest board 

and here are some tiktoks that remind me of her! x o x o x o

WANTED CONNECTIONS. might go raw dog it at the grocery store (no list)

i would love all the connections besties, but i would be so down for a best friend, coworkers at the resort who they have like a work wife/work husband vibe with, their roomies, an ex crush cause i always think those are funny, someone with a crush on her, someone who she has a crush on, exes, ewbs, fwbs, an enemy, or like an old rival, like who won gold at ms. hawaii,,, i’d love to know! and literally anything else? like this to plot and we can even brainstorm something!

[aerisahale]

Catharsis

Pairing: Clarke Griffin x Lexa kom Trikru Fandom: The 100 Length: 4,311 Summary:  Raven invites Clarke to stay at her house over Christmas break after the university forces all the students out of on-campus housing. Clarke doesn't expect to see her angry ex-boyfriend or the incredibly gorgeous friend of Anya's. Read it on AO3, if you prefer!

--

The chair to Clarke Griffin’s desk in her dorm room is the best seating in the small space and Raven Reyes is quick to throw herself down into it, bag hitting the ground with a thud. The bright lettering stands out against the mild background. Raven’s eyes are drawn to the flyer immediately. “Getting kicked out?”

“Just for the holidays. I have that extra semester to make up before it’s a full eviction,” Clarke says as she flops down onto her bed, her equally heavy bag hitting the floor hard.

“You going home?”

“Probably. Mom’s in Pakistan working at a Doctor’s Without Borders clinic that helps women and other refugees in the area, so I’ll have the house to myself.”

Squinting at her friend, Raven cocks her head. “Christmas alone?”

“It’s fine. I can catch up on The Mandalorian.”

“What did you do last year?”

Clarke sits up, eyes on the floor. “Bellamy and I went to his parent’s house.”

The remorse is easy to see on Raven’s face. “Sorry, Clarke. I know it’s still a sore subject.”

“It isn’t,” Clarke says quickly.

Too quickly. Raven raises a brow.

“It shouldn’t be,” she amends. “I ghosted him. Not the other way around.”

“You did the best thing for yourself. That doesn’t mean it’s not going to hurt.” Raven reaches out and places a comforting hand on her friend’s knee.

“It’s been almost a year. I really am mostly over it. This is just the first Christmas in years without him.”

“You’ve been through a lot together. Despite how it ended, you cared for each other for a long time and that means something. It will always mean something.” Raven smiles her warmest smile and squeezes the knee she’s resting her hand on before pulling it away to snap her fingers. “Listen. Come to my place. You can stay in the spare room. We’re even throwing a Christmas Party.”

Clarke looks hesitant so Raven throws in a drawn out please with her best pout until her friend gives in. “But nothing crazy.”

“Just a few friends, no worries.”

--

“Thanks again for having me over,” Clarke says as she takes sets out the trays of food Anya handed her. Lining them up neatly on the countertop of the kitchen pass-through window, Clarke takes an extra moment to observe them in the whole of the setting.

An enormous tree sparkles in multiple colors in the corner of the living room, near their fireplace. Garlands, lights, and holiday-themed décor are arranged perfectly throughout the public spaces, down to the Christmas linens and hand soap in the bathrooms. All the invited guests have a stocking hanging over the fireplace as a party favor and three gifts currently sat wrapped beneath the tree for the white-elephant gift exchange planned for later in the evening.

Clarke knows all the names but one. The first hanging from the mantle is Octavia’s. Octavia, Raven and Clarke had all gone to school together and Clarke used to date her brother. She and Octavia played soccer together for awhile until the latter had transferred schools mid-year in their sophomore year. They were fairly close until that happened.

The next is John Murphy’s. There were so many John’s in high school that everyone started calling him Murphy and it stuck. Murphy wasn’t always her favorite person, as her moral compass did not quite point in the same direction as his, but she did not foresee them having any issues. She had a particularly fond memory of a time where they both got called to the principal’s office—both for very different concerns—and they had shared a pair of headphones while waiting.

After his was Emori Emmerson’s. She only knew of her. They did not frequent any of the same social groups growing up, but she had fallen in with Raven and Murphy, the latter of which she was dating. As far as Raven told it, she was fun to be around and had the same sense of humor as Raven.

Nathan Miller and Eric Jackson followed Emori’s and Clarke hoped they were still together. They started dating in their junior year of high school and seemed like a picture-perfect couple. She still saw the occasional Facebook post of stunning settings such as where they held hands against the backdrop of a vivid sunset. If anyone was going to make it through as high-school sweethearts, it was them.

Remember when they said that about you and Bellamy? Her traitorous brain completes the thought before she can stop it and it makes her angry. She argues back, Remember all the times he blamed me for things that were out of my control? Like the time you refused sex because you were on your period?

Satisfaction makes her smile when nothing else decides to bubble to the surface. Focusing her attention on the final stocking, the name she doesn’t know intriguing the curious, non-traitorous part of her mind. Lexa. She finds herself whispering it under her breath, enjoying the feel of it rolling over her tongue.

A knock on the door pulls her attention and Raven claps her hands as she sets the napkins in her hand next to the plates that were beside Anya’s appetizers that Clarke had laid out. The front door opens to reveal Miller and Jackson first, gifts tucked under their arms as they each pull Raven into a hug with their free arms. Those three converse for a minute before Raven takes their jackets and hangs them in the breezeway closet while Jackson puts their gifts under the tree next to the other three.

Miller sees Clarke first and waves to her, Jackson’s attention going that way moments after. She moves to hug them both, greeting them. “How have you guys been? I’m so glad to see you!” Privately, she adds, Together.

The exchange pleasantries as Raven starts pressing buttons on their stereo system until Christmas pop spills out of the speakers distributed well throughout the house. Clarke can hear it coming from the kitchen even. The lights on the Christmas tree dance to the beat and Clarke knows Raven enjoyed setting that up.

Another knock finds John and Emori on the other side of the door and the couple enters. The conversations of seven people fill the house with chatter and laughter, swirling with the Christmas music and the emerging, mouthwatering scent of warm sugar wafting out of the kitchen. The dancing lights distract Clarke from the next guest that enters, letting the cheerful music sit in her soul like a hearth fire, warmth filling her bones. It’s not with regret that her eyes find the next guest, she just wishes she had been paying attention because the woman she finds steals her breath.

She only sucks in another when the stranger is coming towards her, guided towards the food by Raven. Clarke panics. She ducks into the kitchen and finds herself staring into the fridge for absolutely nothing. The amount of cheese sticks Raven has stuffed into the crisper drawer is concerning, however. At least its twin is actually packed with vegetables.

“Oh, Clarke!” she hears Raven say and she takes a moment to pre-compose her reply to the inevitable introduction. Armed with her most charming smile, she turns away from the cheese overload, closing the door behind her. “This is Lexa! She’s a friend of Anya’s.”

“Nice to meet you! I’m Clarke!” She holds out her hand and tries not to wince at how overly-perky she sounds. Raven gives her a weird look and she knows she’s doing too much. She tries to dial it down by three notches as she asks, “How do you know Anya?”

There is an awkward moment where Lexa just stares at Clarke and she begins to wonder if she forgot to ask the question out loud until Raven says, “They grew up together, a lot like we did.”

The doorbell rings and Raven excuses herself, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone in the kitchen, alone in the uncomfortable silence as Clarke mulls over the fact that the other woman has yet to say anything to her. She wonders if the silence was better when the woman trips over her speedy question, “You’re the pre-med student that Raven goes to school with?”

“Ah, yeah, yes. I graduate in April. I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage?”

“Sorry,” color warms her pale cheeks as Lexa clears her throat and says in a much more paced tone, “Anya mentioned you might be here. What is your major?”

“Double-majoring, actually. I have one more semester to get my Bio and Chem degrees. Then off to med school.”

“You’ve already taken the MCATs?” the woman asks and Clarke is caught off guard.

“Yeah! Took them in my junior year to save time. I start at Harvard Med right after graduation.”

Surprise widens the woman’s green eyes and Clarke’s heart races. “I will be attending Harvard in January.”

“Small world,” Clarke jokes in an attempt to soothe her nerves. “What are you studying?”

Lexa smiles and the house around Clarke is spinning giddy circles to match the butterflies in her chest. “I also took the LSAT in my junior year. I just finished a double in Poli-Sci and History.”

“A lawyer!”

“Indeed. The real goal is to get into Congress, down the road. I hope for more, but that is my realistic goal.”

“That’s amazing! I have this feeling that you would be impressive at it.” Lexa smiles wide. “Thank you, Clarke.”

The way Lexa’s voice pops on the K of her name has Clarke wondering what she would sounds like if Clarke had her quivering under her mouth and the way Lexa is looking right through her, as if she can read her thoughts, has heat creeping up her neck and across her face. To distract herself, she turns towards the living room, surveying through the pass-through window.

Her eyes lock with familiar ones, the last ones she ever wanted to see again. His eyes were already on her and she feels trapped all over again. She spins around and suddenly finds herself breathing heavily. Lexa lays a hand on her back, rubbing a soothing circle as Clarke continues to chase her breath.

She turns back towards the party to see Raven looking at her with concern, mouthing, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know’ and Bellamy just behind her, eyes locked on the spot on her arm that Lexa’s hand gently remains. Only when Lexa’s arm drops back to her side does Bellamy say coldly, at odds with the words themselves, “Nice to see you again, Clarke.”

“Wish I could say the same!” Clarke blurts before pushing past him and beating a hasty retreat to the far corner of the living room.

Octavia finds her shortly and fills her in on what she has been doing, over the years. She keeps glancing at the kitchen door but she doesn’t think Bellamy has left there yet. Chuckling weakly at a joke that Octavia made, she jumps when Bellamy is suddenly at Octavia’s elbow, eyebrows drawn in anger. He speaks quietly enough that Octavia and Clarke are the only ones to hear him. “Why are you joking around with her?”

“We were friends before I switched schools, Bells.”

His voice rises slightly louder, people close to them glancing towards the group. “Friends? You don’t even know what you’re saying, Octavia.”

“Bellamy.” Clarke says his name in warning at the same time as Octavia tells him to stop making a scene.

“No, I think it’s time you—it’s time everyone knew the real Clarke Griffin,” Bellamy raises his voice, the conversation in the house falling silent as everyone focused in on them in the corner. The cheerful Christmas music and rhythmically twinkling lights at odds with the suddenly tense air. “You changed schools because of Clarke.”

“What?” Octavia asks. “What are you talking about? What is he talking about, Clarke?”

Shame fills every inch of Clarke as she stares at the ground, all eyes on her. Torn between running and praying a miraculous sinkhole swallowed her and only her, Clarke stays rooted to the spot. She tries to look at Octavia but can’t meet her confused gaze.

“Clarke planted the drugs in your locker that got you expelled from Arkadia High.”

The chill in Octavia’s voice actually makes Clarke shiver and she finally gathers the courage to meet her former friend’s furious eyes, “Explain, Clarke.”

“You…You all know how…competitive and ambitious I was in high school. I…put the drugs in your backpack the day before and then told the school officer about them. I thought it would just get you kicked off the team! We were both up for Captain and—at the time I thought it was what I had to do to win. I was young and dumb. I swear I had no idea you would be expelled. Please, Octavia, I’m so sorry.”

Octavia doesn’t say another word, storming out of the front door. Clarke is quick to follow, just behind her as the dark-haired woman keeps her steady march towards, well, Clarke isn’t really sure. Suddenly, she stops and whips around, finger pointed right at Clarke, jamming it into her collar bone to enunciate her words.

“You never told me? You never owned up to it? Even after you saw the consequences of those actions?”

“Octavia, I’m so sorry. Nothing I can say can ever make up for that.”

“I had to go to court!” Stab. “I had to go to therapy!” Stab. “No one believed they weren’t mine.” Stab. “Except Bellamy, and I guess I know why now.”

“No, no!” Clarke is quick to say, pleading with her eyes. “Octavia he always believed you. I only told him later when I was beyond drunk and feeling extremely guilty. I swear, he was always on your side.”

“And the worst fucking part, Clarke? Is that you lied! For all these years.”

“Please, Octavia. I know I can never make it up to you now, but you have to know, if I could go back and do it over, I would never have done it. I hated the person I was and I’ve learned from those choices. I choose every day to be a better person. I’m becoming a doctor to save lives, not ruin them. Maybe that’s why, if I’m being honest.”

The anger drains out of Octavia and Clarke holds her breath. “I was angry for a long time. I never knew how they got there. I did a lot of unsafe, unhealthy things that I regret while coping with that anger.”

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke breathes out.

“Look, I’m trying to say: I get it. We all have done things we’re ashamed of. All we can do is move forward and be a better person than we were yesterday. I definitely can’t forgive you yet, but let’s take it a day at a time and not let this ruin Christmas any more than it has.”

Clarke admires the woman Octavia has become, wonders what she went through to become this level-headed woman before her. In high school, Octavia would hold the longest grudges. Quick to anger and quick to give it a home adjacent to her heart where she would house it forever. It is part of the reason Clarke could never come clean about what happened.

Octavia heads back in, but Clarke stays in the cold a moment longer, taking a few deep breaths to calm her emotions before following back into the warmth. The Christmas music filled the quiet house, as everyone murmured quietly to one another. Bellamy stood in the back and it looked like he was quietly arguing with Octavia.

It took the party a while to lose the tense atmosphere, but it eventually did. Clarke kept near Raven, worried what the others must think of her, learning one of her deepest regrets. Not too long after the conversation picked back up, Raven pulled out a game of Pictionary and divided the group into teams. One team had Raven, Anya, Clarke, Bellamy, and Lexa and the other had Octavia, Miller, Jackson, Murphy, and Emori.

Clarke is chosen to draw first, and after Emori earned her team 4 spaces on the board, the turn passed to her. The first things she had to draw was stained glass. A church window came to mind and she quickly sketched Saint Mary as the centerpiece to a Curved window with lines to represent the where the glass was different colored. She thought this was going to be hard for any of them to guess but Lexa guessed correctly at the same time as Bellamy shouted, “Mary, the mother of Jesus!”

“Yes, but not exactly correct. Lexa got it, though. Roll for us?” Clarke tried to say it as gently as possible.

It turned into a competition between the two, or at least, as far as Bellamy was concerned. Every time it was Clarke’s turn to draw he would try to shout over Lexa, usually incorrectly. He would glare every time Lexa was right and he was wrong. Eventually, the game ended and Clarke’s team won, but barely. Despite the problematic moments, Clarke really relished how well Lexa got her.

She offers to help clean up as Lexa starts doing it. They gathered up the pieces and fit it all neatly back into the box. Clarke smiles at her. “Let me show you where it goes.”

Clarke leads her down the hallway to a closet and opens the door for her. She reaches in and turns the light on towards the side and Lexa slides past her to add the box to the stack of board games already in there. As Lexa turns to leave, she caught Clarke looking up and swallowing. She follows her gaze. Mistletoe.

Clarke glances back down in time to watch Lexa’s eyes dart up and she suddenly realizes how close the two are. She chuckles and attempts a joke, “Who puts mistletoe over a closet door? I feel like this is some sort of ‘coming out of the closet’ joke.”

“We don’t have to—” Lexa starts.

“But it is tradition—” Clarke stumbles.

“It is—" Lexa gets out before she’s crashing her lips into Clarke’s, missing by slightly too much before she pulls back and finds her center, placing a proper kiss on the shorter woman. Clarke moans into it, surprising herself, as she parts her lips for Lexa’s tongue that wastes no time in seeking askance.

It’s over as soon as it starts, as the sound of a toilet flushing just further down the hall has them pulling apart. Bellamy emerges and there’s no making excuses for what they’d just been doing. Anger further clouds Bellamy’s face as he says, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

He storms past them and down the hall, turning back to shout. “Good riddance, you fucking slut.”

Octavia’s reply in the second sudden silence of the party at Bellamy’s hands issues down the hall, “You did not just slut-shame someone.”

“Yeah, I fucking did. Clarke is down her making out with Lexa after she fucking ghosted me.”

Clarke and Lexa head back out to the scene being made about them in the living room. All eyes are once again on Clarke as she confronts her ex-boyfriend. “You act like this, Bellamy! You act like this and worse, all the time. This is why I left you!”

“We spent years together and now you’re fucking some random chick!”

“First of all, it’s been almost a year since we broke up. Second of all, we were not fucking, clearly.”

“Third, she can do whatever she wants!” Octavia intercedes. “We don’t slut-shame in this house.”

“Once again, O, you have no idea what you’re talking about. The things Clarke and I have been through together mean something.”

“Look-“ Clarke starts to say, but Bellamy is hearing none of it, already set on his path.

“She was a secret fucking teen mom and now she’s hooking up with a stranger in her friend’s fucking closet. This is ridiculous. I’m glad I broke up with her. I clearly don’t know her at all.”

“What the fuck, Bellamy,” Clarke growls. “It took two to be that fucking teen mom!”

“Teen mom, for a minute, anyway. I’m fucking out. Fuck this shit.” He slams the door behind him and Clarke sways. Lexa is at her elbow and quickly has an arm around her waist.

“Let’s go sit down, okay?”

She lets the other woman guide her to the couch, taking a seat beside her. The soothing hand from earlier is back, rubbing circles into her back, and this time, Clarke leans into it. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, building a dam around the tsunami of emotions coursing through her, knowing her friends want an explanation.

Lexa is a silent but reassuring presence at her side. Raven looks heartbroken. Octavia is furious. The others wear looks of mild concern to curiosity. Raven is the first to break the silence, “You don’t have to talk about it.”

“I—I want to. It’s time. It’s been years. I got pregnant in senior year. Bellamy’s, of course. It’s why I worked so hard to graduate early and why I took classes online for the first three semesters. I gave birth to a beautiful, amazing, healthy baby girl, but I wasn’t ready to be a mom. So, she was adopted by this lovely couple with enough money and time to give her an amazing life that I wasn’t sure I could guarantee her.”

She takes a few deep breaths, bolstered by the hand on her back, by the awe on her friend’s faces, by the love. “I was really depressed for months afterwards. Bellamy always supported my choice, he just didn’t get it, you know? I joined a Post-Partum Depression support group and ended up becoming friends with this other woman who also gave up her child and was experiencing a lot of the same feelings I was. Eventually, I worked through it.”

“I was different afterwards, and so was Bellamy. He was irritable, blamed me for a lot of things that weren’t my fault. I think deep down, even beyond admitting it to himself, that he blamed me for us not having our child with us. I think he felt pressured to support whatever decision I made and never voiced any of his feelings on it and it led to the rift that formed between us, until, one day, I just left.”

All of the shame and guilt that Clarke has carried with her for years felt lighter. Something else had changed tonight, and Bellamy was still an asshole, but it was all cathartic in some way. She smiles over at Lexa. “Nothing like meeting a cute girl and finding out all her deepest, darkest secrets, am I right?”

Lexa laughs and everyone else joins in. The atmosphere lightens and people begin a few side conversations. Raven throws herself into Clarke’s lap and pulls her into a tight embrace. “I love you, Clarke. I’m so sorry that this all happened tonight, but I hope it turns into something that helps you heal. I’m always here for you.”

“I love you, too, Raven. We should probably talk more about it, but later.”

“Oh, and, by the way, there might be some mistletoe hiding up there above the couch!” Raven points as she darts off Clarke’s lap, leaving her next to just Lexa, who she pulls into another kiss, drawing hollers from the crowd. “You owe me ten bucks,” she hears from John Murphy and she breaks the kiss in laughter.

“I know it’s been a pretty intense night, but I really am pretty attracted to you and I heard I might be living in the same city as you in a few months.”

“I feel the same way, Clarke. Following the tradition of candor this evening, Anya hoped we might hit it off tonight. She told me all about you and I was so stunned by how beautiful you are, I forgot how to talk when she introduced me.”

“Let’s exchange numbers for now and we can see how things play out once I move out there?”

Lexa smiles and kisses Clarke again. “I’ll miss these lips, but that sounds good.”

-- One Year Later --

“We’re going to Raven and Anya’s for Christmas, right?” Clarke asks.

“That’s the plan. Is Bellamy going to be there?”

“He is,” Clarke begins, stopping Lexa’s protests with, “but he’s bringing his girlfriend, and he seems to really be working on himself. However, in honor of last year, I proposed a new game to Raven. Confessions: The Game of Secrets and Lies. With a few custom added cards to carry on the tradition of last year, but it’s his turn.”

“Clarke.” Lexa frowns.

“All in good nature! I promise. Not like he was. Besides, it was pretty smooth sailing for us after all that!”

“Just because it worked out for us, that doesn’t make it a good model to cementing the foundation of a new relationship.”

“Okay, but it made mine and Octavia’s relationship even stronger!” Clarke adds with a sweet smile at her girlfriend. “Fine! Without the custom cards. Maybe. I reserve the right to be petty.”

“I am really glad I met you that night.”

“Maybe there will be more mistletoe!”

“Any excuse to kiss me?”

“As if I need an excuse! No, this party I’m going for scandalous!” Clarke directs a devilish smirk towards Lexa. “Gotta keep ‘em guessing.”

Lexa laughs. “Alright, scandalous, it is. Let’s practice right now.”

Clarke groans as Lexa bites right into the spot she knows drives her crazy. Their clothes hit the floor as they make their way towards their bedroom, thoughts of Christmas parties long gone.

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

i saw in your bio your pronouns are “she/her probs” if you wouldn’t mind could you elaborate on that? you 100% don’t have to bc at the end of the day it’s none of my business but i’ve been thinking a lot about my own gender identity recently and your pronouns caught my eye

okay so basically, when i was born the doctor wasn’t there, he was helping out the teenage girl next door, and my mom had done it a bunch of times already so it was kinda no big deal? so there was no one there to be like “it’s a girl!” and i’ve been chasing that high ever since.

i was the youngest of too many, growing up on street with only little boys and my parents were never home so we’d basically be out and about until like 11pm trying to decide which god from the greek mythos was our secret parent and never once was i a girl with them we just didn’t have gender it didn’t exist

my two older sisters were extremely close whereas my two older brothers were hated each other and I was close with both of them individually so i never interacted with my sisters bc they were always hanging out together

when i started being a woman in middle school (my mom said I had to :/ ) i didn’t do it right and the first question i got asked was “are you a boy or are you a lesbian?”

i was so obsessed with looking like my older brother i kept my hair super super long and to this day he hasn’t cut it he keeps it in a man bun but i cut mine short directly after high school so i could go to an hwc like the fucking lesbian i am

the first girl i dated had four fingers in total on both her hands, not counting thumbs, and we fell in love play wrestling and like, physically rough housing, like i had with the little boys on my street growing up. she plays the viola to this day i think

when i first saw my now ex-boyfriend my first thought was, he’s either a lesbian or he’s trans, and to this day he’s identified as every label on the lgbtqa spectrum which is funny to me

i like the way i look in a binder but maybe that’s just cause i hate my body and want to punish it?

growing up i played a bunch of sports bc the commutes were the only guaranteed time alone i had with my dad and it was on a softball field in sixth grade that i realized i was a lesbian while looking at the short stop. her sister was a lesbian but the girl i liked was very straight :/

every dress i buy makes me look like an ethereal woodland goddess except for the one i bought that makes me look like a witch, and i look objectively gorgeous in them all except i dont wanna be pretty i want girls to jump out of their boots when they see me so i can catch them in my big strong arms and carry them home

once this kid i had a crush on and i watched the carmilla movie together. they were dating someone and i was pretty sure i was in love with them and when the sex scene came on i did not kiss them which i am both proud of and deeply regret

we also watched the miseducation of cameron post together with similar results

my grandfather carried around a pocket knife around with him everywhere bc he wanted to be useful, i carry around a backpack with a playing deck, a phone charger, a portable charger, a charger for my portable charger, a bar, bandaids, hand sanitizer, pen, pencil, notepad, pencil sharpener, a candle, a flashlight, a compass, matches, a book, lip stuff, pads, tampons, advil, neosporin, and a knife.

my dad has a big leather jacket i steal from him constantly and it’s big and brown and i keep an acorn in the pocket of it like i’m a stardew valley character who might need a nature snack. it’s very good for hiding in and definitely conceals my body

whenever i go shopping with my sisters they always try and dress me up as femininely as possible, despite neither of them being feminine in the slightest. whenever i go shopping with my brother i always empty my wallet. so i dont go shopping.

once i explained this problem to a close friend and he dropped off four shirts and those are pretty much the only thing i wear now. i found one pair of jeans that fit and i just wash those when they get dirty and hope low rise comes back into fashion eventually cause high rise hurts my belly

over time my friend group and family (extended family) has become increasingly trans allowing me to explore my gender for what it is, i don’t feel as though i always need to present anything bc often they’re too tired or in chronic pain to present anything either. in truth, my name is not gus, but it’s one i’m considering going by offline and that a few friends call me. i have warned my fam that i might change my name and pronouns and they were all like :/// okay sweetie, but not they/them okay? the grammar would be a nightmare which like. i’ll take it. they accepted me being a theater kid when i thought i was a theater kid, i’ll give ‘em a break on this one

this snl sketch is a very good thing that was made, my sister is one of those women at the beginning, she’s extremely fashion minded and so smart and aesthetic. the line ‘as a child you were humiliated in a kohls fitting room where your mother said something so harmful it seared off the top layer of your brain”

it was actually my mother’s room where i had been called fat one too many times by my brother and went to her and asked if i was. she said i could stand to lose a few.

my mother really struggled to lose her own baby weight as she had me late in life and with so many kids financial woes didn’t really ease out until i was maybe 7? 8? i didn’t realize at the time but she was looking at her reflection in one of the big mirrors she had in her room and even if she was talking to me she wasn’t talking to me, you know?

my mom did eventually lose the weight and got really in shape, like insanely in shape, she can now outrun god and dead lift satan on the days where her knee isn’t bothering her.

what else what else.

this poem:

“the tomboy grew up and she never went tame and she never found boys or makeup or nothing – nothing wrong with the girls who did but also it’s not inevitable, this progression womanhood rejected you, because where are the grownup tomboys? there’s no room for the rough-and-tumble girls to become rough-and-tumble foulmouthed broad-shouldered women. it’s alright to play at, daughter, they told you, but you have to grow up, and you were confused because you were playing at nothing the tomboy grew up, nonetheless. and instead of wrestling with friends she wrestled with herself for a while. but despite what they said, here she is, still rough, still wild. don’t believe the lies, daughter. grow as you need to. allow yourself to be pruned only to become stronger. grow bold and proud, daughter, like the trees that give you shelter, tomboy, wild girl. love the girls you dream of being strong for and the friends who bear you up when the storms shake your roots. there is value in the crabapple trees, wild daughter, even if the orchard-keeper turns up his nose. know this always, daughter: i love you exactly as you are, and however you need to be” by @sailorshadow

for julia in nebraska by addrienne rich

my friend got me that shirt during quarantine and i got the haircut a few weeks later

on the subject of rita mae brown who wrote ruby fruit jungle, i read the book while overseas in two days, didn’t look up the entire time, and was one of the first gay books i read. one of the things i loved about it was how the speaker was so unapologetically herself. how it ends on a note of bitter strength and triumphant defeat. i reread it while in georgia last year and found i had outgrown it. you might find some comfort in it, idk, just watch out bc there is some terf stuff in it? it aint perfect so just keep an eye out for that, it doesn’t ruin the book i don’t think, there’s other good stuff in it.

here’s some pictures of men:

growing up i was also surrounded by picture books, my grandmother was a children’s book librarian, and here are a couple of important figures:

then how to catch an elephant by amy schwartz but in particular this page:

and i’m sure i’m forgetting things but here’s my gender euphoria playlist:

i’m sure there’s stuff i’m not thinking of but i think that’s the gist of it? if you have any questions feel free to ask

ope! i almost forgot a couple of other important things:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq27hcPTzDo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENxbcvUXfnM

hope this helps you on your journey!!!!!!

[colinohen]

welcome aboard, colin o'hennessy, student #25. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like jacob elordi? according to our records, you hail from londonderry, northern ireland, prefer preferred he/him, are cismale, and are here to study history. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your academic scholarship— we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + loyal, + disciplined, but also - resentful. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the library. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a silver ring brought from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hellooooo my name is lily! i’m super excited to be part of this rp and i hope i get to rp and plot with all of you! my dms are always open and i’ll tell you a bit about colin. i might change some stuff later to fit his adoptive sister storyline but overall this is what i have.

01. stats

NAME: colin eoin o’hennessy

NICKNAME: none really

GENDER: cis male

PLACE OF BIRTH: londonderry, northern ireland

DATE OF BIRTH: june 15, 1998

AGE: twenty-two

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

MAJOR: history

02. information

i will write a proper bio at some point, just need to work on some details

tw abandonment born to a single mother who was far too young to know how to raise a child. she ends up leaving when colin is just eight months, leaving him under the care of his grandmother.

his grandmother adored him but unfortunately she wasn’t in the best health and the government decides she’s not suitable to adopt and raise him, so he’s placed with a foster family.

he’s one of the lucky ones. his foster family allows to spend the weekends with his grandmother and truly treat him like their own child. his foster father, a history teacher is the person that shows him how fascinating history can be while his foster mom teaches him about photography.

unfortunately, this idyllic life only lasts for a few years as their family grew and the system decided it was time for colin to move on. however, the family decides to adopt him but just before the adoption is finalized, his mother comes back and claims she is ready to be a mother.

the government, of course, gives his mother the custody as she proved she was really in a better place to raise her child.

he’s nine years old and forced to live with a woman that claims to be his mother but he doesn’t know anything about her or about her new stepfather.

his new stepfather while a kind man has a different idea of what colin should be doing. he pretty much thinks his stepson has the perfect build to become an athlete and disapproves anything that doesn’t have to do with sports.

by the time he was twelve, colin played three sports full time and when his stepfather wasn't coaching him from the sidelines he basked in the glory of his star.

as the stakes grew, so did his stepfather’s involvement. he would scream at colin from the bench. he would pull him out of games for mistakes. he would scold that a double would have been a triple if only his son had worked harder in practice.

his stepfather really destroyed all his self-confidence, and colin entered his teenage years feeling like was not enough. he had the looks, the physique but not the confidence or the ego.

by the time colin was in his freshman year of high school, the injuries and over-exertion finally caught up with him. his body began to hurt and never stopped hurting. the pain struck his knees, then smothered his back, then finished his father’s dreams

tw death during his sophmore year of high school, his stepfather suffered a fatal heart attack. colin was devastated but also felt relief because finally he could stop playing injured and the maybe could live without pain.

but the emotional pain continued and shortly after his mother went down a spiral that forced him to back to the system. this time he was placed with a family in wales.

colin really didn’t have plans to go to college, his stepfather had filled his brain with the idea that without sports he was nothing but his foster family encouraged him to attend the same university as their daughter.

he rejected the idea and after he turned 18, he remained in wales but move out of the foster family house, even if he tried to visit once a week.

colin got a job as a security guard and he worked the for three years before quitting and agreeing to go into this two year university their foster parents told him about.

he started a year ago, majoring in history.

03. current plots

formely catfished santos whitney

adoptive brother of carys berry

best friends with #43

04. wanted plots

crush: although it might not look like, colin is very shy so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had feelings for this person but wouldn’t do anything about it because he’s afraid of being rejected, so he just admires them from afar. 

bad influence: colin tends to follow the rules and any kind of plan that disturbs that makes him feel uneasy but this person has managed to convince to get out of his comfort zone.

friends with lingering feelings: self explanatory, friends where either one or both have some kind of romantic feelings that pass more than just friends. now things between them are getting back to normal but they can't help but wonder about what-ifs.

frenemies: overall, they are nice to each other but sometimes there's always some subtle bickering between them. their relationship is very complicated, one day they could be best friends and the next one they could be plotting the other's murder. it's not the healthiest of friendship, but somehow they cannot give it up.

unlikely friends: when people see these two they can't help but to scratch their heads and wonder how the hell these two became friends? their personalities are like oil and water but somehow they've overcame that and they get along very nicely.

rivals: it's not a secret that colin always wants to be the smartest, but this person is always getting in the way of him receiving all the glory. while he doesn't hate them, he could do without them. 

ex: we can plot if they ended in good or bad terms.

one night stand: pretty straight forward. could have been a in the moment thing, alcohol could have been involved. they could either be acting as if it didn’t happen, or completely awkward around each other because of it.

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Haley Lu Richardson

full name: Stevie May Lane

nickname(s) / goes by: Stevie, Ms.Lane, Mama

pronouns & gender: Cis woman & She/Her

sexuality: Heterosexual

birth date: August 14th, 1995

birth place: Waco, Texas

arrival to merrock: Arrived in November of 2023

housing: small house in the suburbs that she rents

occupation: Sixth grade English teacher 

work place: Merrock Junior High

family: Elijah Jaxon Lane (July 8th, 2013), Joshua Lane (Cousin), Mom & Adopted Father in Texas

relationship status: single

PERSONALITY

Stevie is sunshine personified. She’s seen around town with her sketchbook. Always willing to help, if she has the time. She’s the one who always has a book in her bag, and hosts the weekly silent book hour at the library. The coveralls that fit over her hips, doodles on her converse and bandanas in her hair showcase just how her style is. She would do anything for her son, and if that means be snarky, you bet she’ll be snarky. She would give up her own world to make sure her son has everything in his. Stevie is caring and considerate. 

WRITTEN BY: Kay (she/her), est.

BACKGROUND / BIO

triggering / sensitive content: pregnancy, bullying

Stevie May Lane was born in San Antonio, Texas on a beautiful and hot summer day. Stevie grew up in Waco, Texas. A small city in between Dallas and San Antonio. She grew up in an easy household. Her mother being a stay-at-home mom, and her father was a lawyer. She was a good kid in school, gravitating more towards the artsy kids. She liked getting her hands dirty. Being able to sculpt, or draw, or paint was her favorite pastime. Stevie was about 16 when she found papers in her mothers drawers while she was looking for a pair of shoes, claiming that her father was not her real father and that he adopted her at the age of one. That had immediately put a divide in their relationship. Stevie was hurt and confused as to why they had never said anything. She became someone who’d stay out all night, getting high with some friends. When she was just about to graduate high school, Stevie found herself pregnant at eighteen. Her family wasn’t the most supportive when it came to Elijah, her beautiful baby boy. But she fell in love. Her parents kicked her out and she did her best to try and make ends meet by selling some of her artwork online. She did her best going to college with a newborn, but it was almost impossible. Online classes, a lot of coffee and energy drinks, late nights studying and feeding, and night classes where she could have friends watch her child became the norm. Graduating from Baylor University in Waco, Texas, she became a middle school teacher. Elijah being the sole reason for her to continue pursuing a degree, and job. He is the one person in her life that she would do anything for. And that meant doing everything in her power to make him happy. Thus, moving. 

After finding out from the local gossip mill in Waco that her son was getting bullied, she decided it was time to leave her hometown full of gossip and rude looks.  With the help of her cousin, Josh, she was able to move to Merrock. She had no idea what was in store for her in the Northeast, but she figured she’d might as well try. With the little money she was able to save over the years and having her ten year old child in tow, she was able to rent out a small house in the suburbs. She took over a position in the junior high as an english teacher and has gotten Elijah into school, and even flag football where he exceeds expectations. As an almost twenty-nine year old mom, she’s starting over. It’s been over six months of them finally able to settle in. They adopted a cat named Button, Elijah has made some friends, They’ve been able to get to know their family, and have finally found their footing in this cute little town. 

[yhmisun]

*//𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒆: introducing 𝐘𝐄𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍!

hi petals 🥰 i'm so thrilled to be here with you all and bringing you this gullible little lioness!i promise i'll get to all ims soon, but my alias is penny, my pronouns are she/her and i'm in the est tz! this is my bby misun - the very soft-spoken principal of kwangsook academy. despite the shady way she ended up with it, she quite loves her job, as well as all the students and faculty at kwangsook :D i will have her full bio up sometime soon, but for now, you can find some relevant links and some bullet points under the cut! if you'd like to plot something out, feel free to hit the heart so i know and i'll come buzz you in ims! tw - brief mentions of death cw - workplace affair

statistics. // bio. // headcanons. // plots. // musing blog. // pinterest.

━  ❖ (kim ahyoung “yura,” cis female, she/her) hey thank you for coming to town hall to update your information yeo misun! you’re a citizen correct? good to know! are you enjoying yourself around yunhwa? you’ve been staying here two years right? i’m glad! remind me, are you born on 14/12/1992? we’re so lucky to have someone so dedicated around as a principal at kwangsook academy even if sometimes you can be credulous. hope to see you around the house #3034, hwesakgu!

born and raised in busan, the city was imbued in misun's veins. she was in love with how the highest skyscrapers mingled with the clouds on overcast days and how life always seemed to be racing by. her childhood was a happy one, as she gained a younger brother and sister along the way.

her mother was a science teacher and her father a commercial fisherman at the local dock. it wasn't uncommon for him to be gone for weeks at a time in order to bring an income into the household, so misun was often left in charge of her younger siblings. it was something she thrived at honestly, as she'd always had this nurturing way about her. she didn't even argue with her siblings much, she mostly just played peacekeeper when they fought amongst themselves.

she ran through the typical cycle of dream occupations as any child would. she had a particularly tight grasp on astronomy for awhile, but she also always appreciated her mother's work in the field of education.

misun could be be rather mild-mannered, but she loved to run free in the yard, as if the fence that boxed it in existed in another realm entirely. as she grew older, she picked up several hobbies that always seemed to lend to a tranquil state of mind, as it was her favorite feeling in the world. painting and surfing were two of her favorite things to do, once she learned the basics of them. some of her most cherished memories of her father were the trips they took to the beach whenever he was home for the week so that he could see what she had learned for himself. she'd never forget the proud smile he wore.

[tw:death] she was fourteen when her father's boat sank in the korea strait, he and all of his crew being lost in the tragedy. they were at least able to hold a funeral for him; and misun always knew it was something that could happen in the logical side of her brain - but that was rarely the side she wanted to agree with. it was extremely hard on the family for his already too brief presence to have lessened to nothing, and it was years before any sense of normalcy was felt. [end tw]

it was fortunate that misun was so prone to being a parental figure in the household, as she was able to help her mother with her brother and sister while the woman grieved. it was simply in misun's nature to forego her own feelings to give another what they needed.

there was a desperate need for the lost income to be restored in some way, as her father had been the primary breadwinner for the family. her mother's salary as a teacher simply wasn't going to hold four people afloat in the city for very long. misun spent years juggling her workload in school along with working part-time, putting her all into not only bringing home good grades that her mom could be proud of, but helping to keep the family's bills paid, as well.

by the time she graduated, misun had excelled so much in her studies, that she was offered two different scholarships, both of which would have easily covered the expenses of attaining her degree, a miraculous offer for the family who had no way to afford college for any of the three children in it.

the college experience was everything misun had hoped for; a chance to better herself, find herself and take a bit of a break from the full workload she'd been carrying for so long. she still worked part time, so that she could slowly add to the college funds of her brother and sister while she attended school herself, but it was nice to have such a heavy focus on her studies.

she'd come to find that she wanted to go beyond teaching. she enjoyed the thought of administrative duties in the school system; fighting the good fight so that students could always have the help they needed to prosper. it wasn't just about filling their brains with meaningless facts they'd forget over a summer anymore - it was about making sure they had the tools to make it in life.

while she did receive some brief classroom training as a teacher in her initial transition, once misun got her master's degree, she was able to fill the position of principal at one of the schools in the city. she fell in love with it immediately, as it fit right in with her facilitating nature. she had a knack for keeping the peace around the school and making sure things ran smoothly so that all the teachers and other faculty could do their jobs properly.

she even had a positive working relationship with the local school board and her superiors, one of whom seemed to have taken quite a shine to her. he'd find any opportunity to speak with her, even about the silliest things. it was quite odd for misun to see him go back and forth from a very personable man to a very stuffy superintendent on an almost weekly basis, but there was definitely something charming about him.

before she really knew it, he'd swept misun off her feet entirely. suddenly they were sharing their lunch breaks at romantic cafes and making excuses to see each other during inconvenient times. misun always saw the best in people, and the things she saw in him made her feel love on an intense plane. she felt special with him; wanted. she might have said he'd broken down all her barriers, if she'd ever bothered to put them up.

as sweet as the feelings were, she supposed she knew the relationship was inappropriate considering that he was practically her boss. still, she didn't want to let go of the happiness she felt, and that she thought he had felt to.

it wasn't long before he informed her of his suspicions that some of his co-workers had an inkling he was having an affair with one of the school faculty members in the area. he seemed to know it was only a matter of time before the truth would come out, so he would cover his tracks. he would make sure no one ever found out.

initially, they were only meant to 'cool things off' a bit so that the suspicion would die down. admittedly, if word got out about them, misun knew it would be quite the scandal, and he may have to step down from his position. it seemed like the logical thing to do to lay low for awhile.

she didn't see the next part coming, though; apparently it had been decided that she would take the hit entirely, in order to save them both. her superintendent had crafted the brilliant plan to transfer her to kwangsook academy out in the small town of yunhwa and away from the city that she'd always known and loved. she wouldn't have to worry, he'd told her. the job was all but hers after the glowing recommendation he gave her. 'thank goodness, right? now you won't have to face any humiliation.'

she was confused, hurt and more angry than she had ever been in her life. as lovely as yunhwa was, it wasn't her home back in busan. it wasn't her school district. why was it her life that had been uprooted, and hers alone? was he suffering any undesired changes in his life in the city? did he even care at all that she was gone?

still though, misun's resilience remained steadfast, even after her heart was broken. as bitter as she was about the forced move, she'd been given a job to do, and she was going to going to do it right. getting used to the small town lifestyle has been a major adjustment for her, but she's not really one to complain about her circumstances.

two years on, and she remains in yunhwa, functioning as the head of kwangsook academy. as lost as she'd felt initially, she's come to fit in at the school at last. she's a rather amicable person who gets along well with the other teachers and staff members. she's always willing to lend a helping hand when it's needed, and is extremely dedicated to making sure the school has everything it needs in the way of funding, materials, healthy lunches and meaningful extracurriculars. as unassuming as misun can be sometimes, she's very protective of her students!