#[ t: jaffa mistakes ]

[avonne-writes]

I hijacked this a bit with a high school AU drabble 😁

"Hey, Buck." Bucky calls out, lying half-naked on his back like a starfish in the middle of his bed.

It's almost nine p.m. and they have school tomorrow, but he’s craving something sweet so bad that it hurts, and there's nothing at home. His mom is on a business trip for three days, and he didn't have the foresight to actually go out and buy groceries. But hey, can you blame him? All he could think about was Gale sleeping over and the two of them having the house to themselves. That kind of opportunity doesn’t happen every week.

But he’s cursing himself now, because his stomach rumbles and his mouth salivates for some ice cream or chocolate. Or jaffa cakes. He whines. It's entirely ineffective. Gale doesn’t pay attention to him. He's sitting at Bucky's messy desk in his pajama shorts, one of his legs pulled up and his chin resting on his knee as he revises for some stupid History test Bucky couldn't care less about. His face is still flushed a little. If Bucky wasn't so hungry, he’d pull him back to bed and kiss those cheeks again.

"Gale." He draws out the sound as annoyingly as possible. "I'm hungry."

Gale leans back in Bucky's rolling chair, against the pillow of Bucky's discarded clothes. He puts the tip of his pen between his teeth absent-mindedly. When he turns to look at Bucky, the words he’s going to say are so clear on his face that Bucky groans even before Gale's reply is fully out of his mouth. "We have food in the kitchen. Go eat."

"Not that kind of hungry."

Gale frowns at him, then something shy flickers across his face. "Oh."

Realizing his mistake, Bucky sits up and rushes to explain. "For sweets, I mean. I'm craving ice cream." He runs a hand through his hair. "Not that I would say no to - other things."

That didn’t come out as cool as he would have liked, and Gale knows it too, because a lopsided smirk appears on his face. "Sure, Bucky."

"Come on." Bucky reaches for the closest t-shirt and throws it on. "Let’s go to Walmart."

Gale huffs in amused disbelief and turns back to his notebook, shaking his head. When Bucky walks up to him and embraces him from behind, he just keeps on working. Bucky kisses his cheek. No reaction. He drops a kiss on Gale's neck. Nothing. Undeterred, Bucky continues - he presses his lips to Gale's bare shoulder, then bites it gently.

Gale chuckles. "What now, you gonna eat me?"

Bucky mouths his way back to Gale's neck. "I might have to."

Gale leans away from him to look him in the eye. "If I take you to Walmart, will you revise with me?"

Bucky sighs and gives him a reluctant nod. Anything for ice cream.

-

@hogans-heroes

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT JOHN EGAN!!! WOULD NOT BE A SWEET LITTLE TREAT GUY!??!?!? MAN IS BEGGING GALE TO TAKE HIM TO WALMART AT 9PM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT!

[thecorruptedquietone]

Thank you for that rec, I’ll definitely read that book! There was a Hebrew and Arabic (queer) film that I watched and the synopsis reminded me if it, however, I cannot remember the name atm. Also, Kyle’s definitely not too reluctant on expressing his disdain or low expectations on romance novels so he’d never develop a friendly committee of book-readers cus lol “heavily forced attraction for the sake of representation.”

Kyle would find a problem with anything like it’s his job. Even books he really likes he typically says how the romance was the worst part. The most he’ll give it is that it was needed for the plot or it had some kind of greater meaning.

Most of this is because Kyle’s a romantic in his own right but he must be incredibly critical of all other romantics especially those he once trusted who led him astray. 

[yogsbog]

How about xephos for worldbuilding Wednesday?

still accepting these cause im a week late whoops!

B A S I C S

full name: blue xephos (took the last name of his adoptive father, strong military ties)

gender: cisgender

sexuality: gay

pronouns: he/him

O T H E R S

family: birth parents unknown, adopted by general firstname xephos at a young age. no siblings.

birthplace: some place in space, idk. travelled around a lot!

job: former spaceman and test pilot for military, now self-employed engineer and CEO of yoglabs

phobias: BIG phobia of being left alone or abandoned in the dark. also a smaller fear of the unknown and failure.

guilty pleasures: gossip, beekeeping, unethical and inhumane scientific studies, gardening, farming.

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: lawful neutral to lawful evil. depends on when and where! yoglabs is definitely lawful evil though. jot that down.

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: extrovert! socializing comes easily to him, even though he might not tolerate most of the people he comes across. he does generally enjoy being around others. 

organized/disorganized: disorganized. he likes to act like his shit is together but hes a big organized mess.

close minded/open-minded: generally close-minded, but can be open-minded around those he trusts and admires.

calm/anxious: anxious. this man is 5 seconds from snapping at all times. watch out sisters!

disagreeable/agreeable: it depends! xephos is known for playing the voice of reason at times, but there are moments where what he suggests or does is maybe a bit too much (or downright unethical). he sees himself as agreeable, though.

cautious/reckless: cautious as fuck! absolutely hates the idea of making a mistake because he was too reckless. always plans for everything, if possible.

patient/impatient: impatient. he tries his damn best to keep his cool, but lets be real. weve all heard the oil rant. 

outspoken/reserved: he started off as rather reserved, but as time went on he became far more outspoken. isnt afraid to speak his mind, whether you like it or not.

leader/follower: follower. even when in complete control, xephos always likes to follow an example set by someone else. he’s also fairly devoted to his friends, and will follow them no matter where they may go.

empathetic/unemphatic: it depends. at first xephos was extremely empathetic, fussing and worrying about every little thing, but as he founded yoglabs and time went on that empathy faded until completely vanishing. at times, he seems almost like an entirely different person, prideful and acting as if hes beyond consequences.

optimistic/pessimistic: tries to play the role of an optimist, but is extremely pessimistic no matter what he says.

traditional/modern: VERY modern! he’s a spaceman from the future, i’d be surprised if he was anything but modern.

hard-working/lazy: hard-working. xephos was top of his class in college, worked his ass off in the military, and founded yoglabs on will alone. this man is ride or die when it comes to projects.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: xephna, xephnable. thanks, minnie.

ot3: jaffa trio! xephos/lalna/honeydew. i am but a simple man.

brotp: honeyphos 100% brotp. they act like a married couple sometimes though and its GOOD.

notp: strife/xephos as anything romantic, i kinda see their relationship as more sibling like? also xephos/lomadia romantically.

[spideyspence]

“I Feel Like There’s Some Chemistry” ; Peter Parker

hey guys, this is my first bit of writing for this blog and i hope it doesnt suck?

enjoy this mediocre piece of writing. (the start is a bit choppy i apologise i can never start fics well unless it dives straight into the plot) (if there’s any spelling mistakes or anything i apologise i wrote this at like 1am and i really can’t be bothered editing ha i have no energy or motivation i have homework to do and all i wanna do is eat jaffa cakes but we have none left)

*

If Y/N received a dollar for each time she tripped on the uneven footpath by her house, she’d be able to pay for it to be fixed and even. She managed to dodge and jump over that uneven joint on the path as she went out into the city for the first time over the summer holidays.

She was stuck in her hot, stuffy room, studying and making sure that she was ready for the new school year. Working hard on chemistry and writing out equations, covalent bonds and all to make sure she was getting everything right. Her hard work had to pay off, just for once.

Before her mum went to work, she wrote a note and stuck it on the fridge recommending that her daughter get out of the house and go on a run or something, make a friend so she wasn’t alone for the next month and a half before school started.

Y/N rolled out of bed after wasting time on her phone and stumbled out into the kitchen and read the note on the fridge. Rolling her eyes, she got ready for the day. She debated on whether or not to actually go outside or not because it really was too hot for a run. Making friends? New York was so big it terrified her. She ended up putting on some denim shorts and a random t-shirt and headed out the door with her phone and headphones. Her laces were still undone as she walked down the footpath. Music flooded into her mind through her ears and she looked around but not down, as she tripped but someone ended up catching her.

‘Falling for me already? Can I grab your name first?’ A chuckle came from a masked figure when Y/N looked up. It was that Spider-Man guy from social media or whatever. She had seen videos of him doing flips and saving innocent lives but never planning to actually meet the hero.

‘Nice pick up line. I’m Y/N.’ She shook her head.

‘Well nice to meet you Y/N, I’m Spiderman.’

‘Nice to meet you ‘Spider-Boy’.’ She laughed, making fun of the boy/man?

‘Anyway, thanks for ‘saving’ me. I best be going?’ Y/N said as she walked past the male in the red and blue suit.

‘Anytime m’lady.’

Y/N sighed and continued on further into the city to find something to do that day.

-

Spiderman saving Y/N ended up becoming a regular occurrence. Spidey always managed to have some kind of stupid pick up line however on the third time was when he got a laugh out her.

‘You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.’ The Spider-Man tried, and that line made Y/N laugh.

‘That’s definitely your best one yet.’ She laughed.

There was a month left till school started but Y/N had just found a second home at her new favourite coffee shop. Her iced coffee had the perfect amount of expresso to get her through the day and the atmosphere was perfect for her racing mind while studying, or picking up a book to read, whether one she genuinely enjoyed or had to read for the new school year. The muffins at the shop were also the cure to all the wrongs in her life, so she knew she was going to survive the coming year, no matter what was thrown at her.

-

With a week of the summer holidays to go before school starts, Y/N was double checking she had all her notebooks and pens for the new year. She wasn’t stressing (well that’s what she was telling herself) but after a rough time at her last school, she wanted this transition to go as smooth as possible. She sat down on her computer and got up a movie that she wished to watch and as it loaded, she walked out to the kitchen to get some snacks. Y/N didn’t want to go back to school but she knew that time was coming soon.

When she returned she nearly screamed because there was a figure standing outside her window however when she eyes focused and she saw the wave, she shook her head and opened up her window to let the summer night breeze in.

‘And what might you be doing here on this fine summer night web-boy?’ Y/N laughed.

‘Just wanted to check on the clumsy girl, make sure she was alright.’ The boy used as an excuse.

Spider-Man hadn’t revealed his identity to Y/N even though he did like her and trust her, it was just safer for less people to know.

‘So what school are you going to? I never actually ended up asking.’ Spider-Man questioned.

‘Midtown High School. It’s not too far away from here actually. Walking distance so I’m all good with that, get some exercise in each morning.’ Y/N said, lightening the mood.

Spider-Man stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. Midtown? Out of all the schools?

‘Is everything alright?’ Y/N asked, a little but worried because the boy in the suit was quiet.

‘Oh no, everything’s alright. I-’ He started but faltered. Was it a good idea to say that he went to the same school? He had told her that he was the same age, which would mean that they would be in the same year as well.

‘I go to Midtown too.’ Maybe trusting her wouldn’t end badly for once. As he had said to Mr. Stark, bad things end up happening because of you, but maybe, just maybe things would turn out right for the suited teenager.

‘That’s so cool. At least I won’t be alone right?’ She asked with a smile on her face.

‘That’s if you can figure out who I am first. If you figure out by lunch on the first day, I’ll shout you lunch. Here’s your first clue, I believe we’re in the same chemistry class.’

‘Thanks spider-boy. Also, it’s on.’ You smirked as the teenage boy exited back out through the window and returned home. Now it was her, her movie and her food.

-

With her bag on her back, Y/N was nervous for her first day. She knew that once she settled into her first class she was going to feel a lot more comfortable and her nerves would settle down. She had money on her for lunch, but she really wanted to save that money for something she saw down at the shops the other day but hadn’t managed to buy before school started.

It was a cooler day for the summer and the morning breeze called for Y/N to pull her jacket tighter over her body. With her caffeine in her hand she walked in through the front doors. The hallways were crowded with students however she easily found her way to the office. She received some paperwork from the nice lady behind the desk and was directed to her locker and where her first classroom was.

With her books in her locker she arrived at her first class of the year on time. Checking her schedule, her next class after recess was chemistry, so she had to wait an hour and a half.

-

Putting her books away and getting out her chemistry textbook left her feeling almost jittery with excitement. She had ended up befriending Spider-Man and she was praying that he was actually as nice in person as he was under the mask.

Y/N walked into the chemistry classroom and sat in the middle of the room. She sat there with her head up, looking around at unfamiliar faces that were now her peers that walked in through the door, not knowing which one the guy in the red and blue suit was.

Then a boy with floppy brown hair who was looking down at his feet walked in and he stood at the front of his class.

‘What’s up Penis Parker?’ A guy from the back of the class called out.

The boy looked up at Flash and rolled his eyes and then made eye contact with you. He smiled and then walked over to Y/N and sat his books down on the spot next to hers.

‘Is this seat taken?’ He politely asked.

‘No, it isn’t actually.’ She smiled.

The brown eyed boy sat down in the empty spot and looked up at the girl with y/e/c eyes.

‘I feel like there’s some chemistry between us, wouldn’t you say?’ He joked.

‘I’m going to need to know your name first, Parker.’ Y/N laughed.

‘I’m Peter.’

‘Hi Peter, I haven’t really looked at the lunch menu yet but I’m going to trust you with some recommendations since you’re buying me lunch, aren’t you?’ She smirked, knowing that this was the same guy she had befriended over the summer holidays. The same stupid chemistry pun and soft laughter in his voice.

‘Sorry, what?’ Peter said with confusion written all over his face.

‘Oh shit, um… I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else I’m so sorry.’ Y/N flushed bright red in embarrassment. At least she didn’t actually ask him if he was Spider-Man, that would’ve been much more humiliating.

‘No, all good. I get mistaken sometimes. Some say that they remind me of this spider guy.’ Peter smiled.

Y/N rolled her eyes at Peter’s stupid attempt of a joke after the embarrassment she felt.

‘I really wanted to keep that cash in my pocket, but I guess you’re just too good. It’s funny to see you flush though.’ Peter chuckled.

The chemistry teacher walked in and she fixed her posture from the slouching position she was in, so she could tune into what the teacher was going to say.

‘But yes, I’ll shout you lunch as promised. Just don’t get the spaghetti bolognese from there, worst decision I’ve ever made.’

[miz-joelys-sherlollilists]

Latest & Greatest Sherlollilist 08/17/17

Come Fly With Me (Pilot AU) by theSapphireSky (Rated K+, In Progress, Multi-Chapter) Jealous, Slow Burn AO3 2017

Flash Flooding by justmindy (Rated M, One-Shot) PWP AO3 2017

I don't see it as a mistake by mizjoely (Rated K, One-Shot) Married AO3 2017

Masked by theSapphireSky (Rated K+, One-Shot) Superhero AU AO3 2017

Requirement by Dreamin (Rated T, One-Shot) Prop/Engage AO3 2017

Untitled (Molly wants Jaffa cakes) by ll-again (Rated K, One-Shot) HABD tumblr 2017

Untitled (Sherlock is clingy) by vermofftiss (Rated K+, One-Shot) Secret Relationship tumblr 2017

[itsanerdlife]

Royally Fucked (14/14)

Pairing: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: Swearing, sexual indication, okay guys things are going to get worse, hang on tight. It’s not going to get a happy ending. (Wrap it before you tap it kiddos)

Summary: When you and Steve agree to end your relationship you didn’t expect to take it so hard, or seek comfort in his best friend. After one night of drinking and mistakes, now you feel like you’re struggling to keep your lies straight, but what happens when you’re seeing plus signs and Steve’s hovering, someone’s going to end up hurt if you can’t keep your lies straight.

A/N: Angsty, drama, secrets, and twists. Shit is going to hit the fan…

We have come to the end my loves. I know it’s been a stressful ride, so I promise my next series will be fluffy and cute. haha.

@rileyloves5 @sebbaevans @marvelousmarveltrash @callie-swagg1 @buckyappreciationsociety @teamcaptianbucky @shamvictoria11 @alphasoldier@chipilerendi @pietrosputa @voguettey @pandahipsterninja @goodnightwife   @agentsinstorybrooke  @seb-smut  @jonsnowisnotdeadthough @mrhowardstark  @chrisevansthedoritobastard  @holahellohialoha  @almightyunnie @iwillbeinmynest  @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @irepeldirt  @yourtropegirl  @bellejeunefillesansmerci   @buckyb-avengers @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  @girl-next-door-writes  @lexbugz  @ria132love  @diana-jaffa   @seargantbcky  @chipilerendi  

“I can’t sit here and wait.” Nat paces. “Someone should clean her room for her to go back too.” Nat nods.

“We’re probably going to have to order a new mattress.” Buck’s face is grim, Nat looks at Tony who pulls his phone out.

“Oh god the whole bed set she just got.” Nat shakes her head.

“I’ve got it.” Tony hands his phone over. “Pick a color.” He nods as Nat scrolls through the colors. “Won’t be here till tomorrow.” Tony looks up as Nat hands the phone over.

“She can sleep in my room.” Nat shrugs.

“I think Rogers is going to beat you to that.” Clint smirks up at Nat, she nods pacing again.

“I’m going to head home and clean up, I don’t think she should see that.” Nat nods, Buck stands grabbing her hand.

“I’ll give you a hand.” He gives her a small smile. 

“Why does this feel like we should be hiding a body?” Buck looks up as he drags the mattress behind him, Nat snickers carrying the trash bags filled with the ruined blankets and sheets.

“Feel like we’ve been in this situation before?” Nat cocks her eyebrow at him as they toss the things into the dumpster, Buck lifts the mattress with one hand flipping it into the container with a bang.

“What do we have left?” Buck laughs wrapping his arm around Nat.

“Just to clean up the trash and cleaning buckets.” She nods looking up at him as they step back on to the elevator. “Then maybe we can order some lunch, I wonder if she’s allowed to eat.” Nat’s face went somber. “I hope they let her come home.” Her head on Buck’s chest, he brushes her curls back, they were both still in their night wear, Buck in black sweatpants and grey T-shirt, Nat was in black shorts and a white T-shirt.

“I’ll call Tony or Banner see what the doctors say, if you want to finish the clean up?” Buck looks at Nat she nods as they step off the elevator.

Nat rinsed the buckets in the tub, looking around once more, she bends grabbing the trash from the bathroom, before walking back into the bedroom grabbing for the other, but something caught her eye, the sound made her look. Picking up the bag she shook it to one side, exposing the yellow wrapper that had caught her eye, her mouth pressed together as she turned heading out looking for Buck.

“Barnes.” She was coming towards him.

“Okay, I’ll have Nat text you when we are finished here.” Buck looks at her confused as he hangs the phone up. “Romanoff?” He says sarcastically.

“What’s the color of the condom brand you use?” She tilts her head looking up at him.

“Um, yellow I think? Why?” Buck’s forehead is creased, Nat opens the trash bag showing him.

“Last I knew Steve’s were Blue, when they used them.” Nat’s head tilted and her eyebrows raised.

“There was no chance it was ever mine.” Buck mutters, his eyes wide.

“She hasn’t taken the trash out since she moved back into that room.” Nat sighs.

“We have to tell Steve.” Buck nods.

“We have to get to the hospital.” Nat agrees as they had for the elevator.

“Steve!” Nat comes jogging down the hallway towards him, Buck right beside her. “How is she?” when she reaches him.

“Drugged, but we’re working through it.” Steve nods.

“We have news for you, and her.” Buck announces.

“News?” Steve’s eyebrows raise.

“It was never Buck’s baby.” Nat blurts out.

“Did the DNA test come in?” Steve looks at her confused.

“No it could never have been Buck’s there was no chance.” Nat shakes her head, Steve just looks at her, she rolls her eyes. “What color condoms do you use?” She looks at him, he looks from her to Buck.

“Blue I think, it’s not like we used them all the time, obviously.” Steve shrugs.

“Did you and (Y/N) sleep together after she moved back into her old room?” Nat rushes.

“You mean in the 24 hours that we broke up and she slept with Buck?” Steve’s expression was not amused.

“That’s the thing, Buck uses a yellow kind and there was a yellow condom wrapper in her trash, I don’t think she ever knew.” Nat waves her hands around.

“The baby was always mine?” Steve’s mouth is slack and his eyes wide.

“She had to have gotten pregnant right before you guys broke up.” Buck nods, Steve’s eyes flick to Buck as his face drops and the sadness and realization wash over him.

“Look, I’m sorry for what happened. With everything from the beginning.” Buck sighs, shuffling closer to Steve.

“I know.” Steve nods. “Thanks Buck.” Steve pats his on the shoulder.

“Oh, just like that everyone’s friends again.” Sam shakes his head grinning.

“Jealous.” Buck pokes.

“Watch yourself old man.” Sam grins at him. “Steve, you got a groggy girl asking for you in there.” Sam nods towards the hospital room.

“Hey.” Steve smiles down at you, you give him a goofy, drugged smile back.

“What’s been going on?” You rub your eyes.

“I have new for you.” He sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Oh, no.” You sigh, leaning back into the pillows around you.

“I don’t have to tell you if you think you’ll get on fine without knowing.” He nods watching you.

“No tell me.” You grab his hand.

“It was a weak attachment, she didn’t have a chance no matter what we did. It wasn’t yours and it wasn’t my fault.” Steve stares down at your entwined fingers.

“But what about?” You don’t finish the question.

“She was always mine. Mine and yours. Not a chance she was ever his.” Steve nods once, before looking up at you.

“Ours?” You blink, settling farther into the pillows.

“Ours. How are you feeling?” He brushes back a strand of hair from your face.

“Heavy.” You sigh, feeling the drugs settling in.

“Sleep I’ll be here when you wake up.” He smiles.

“I love you.” You sigh as you drift off once more.

“I love you too, always have.” Steve chuckles as he leans down kissing your forhead.

[made-from-starlight]

Blast from the Past, or How Not to Write a Query Letter

It has been a WHILE since I’ve been on Tumblr and I’m sorry for the disappearing act. The best news, though? I got a book deal! My YA Fantasy novel, Ash Princess, will be out from Delacorte in Spring 2018 in the US and in ten(!!!) other countries so far. I think everyone who knows me knows that this has been a long time in the works. Eight years, to be exact, from finishing my first book when I was eighteen to selling this one.

Which also breaks down to nine manuscripts. You read that right. Nine manuscripts. In hindsight, most of these could more accurately be called drafts since it took me quite a while to get the hang of editing (and relatedly, asking for help from critique partners and beta readers). So if I could give any kind of general advice, it would be that: get other eyes on your work. Ask for help from people who you trust to be critical. Listen to them and REwrite.

More specific advice? Write a compelling query letter.

One important thing to remember is that agents WANT you to succeed. They’re hoping a query will grab them, they’re hoping they’ll read material they fall in love with. But they also see a lot of queries and writing a query that stands out is a lot of work and often requires several drafts and getting critiques from others to point out things that you might be too close to notice.

I’ve interned at two different literary agencies and at one, my main job was going through the query inbox. At the other, I read submitted manuscripts, which is a topic for a different day. I had already sent my queries for Ash Princess when I started my first internship and shortly thereafter, my agent (the incomparable Laura Biagi) offered me representation, but I learned so much about writing query letters in those months that I wish I’d known years earlier because my queries pre-Ash Princess?

They sucked. You want proof? Behold: the very first query I ever wrote, at eighteen, for a YA fantasy novel in the vein of Gail Carson Levine in all of it’s cring-y glory.

To __________,

  Undoubtedly you’ve grown up hearing fairytales. Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, Beauty and the Beast; classic tales full to the brim of magic, love and happily ever afters for all those who deserve them. Stories about dainty, delicate princesses, peasant girls with their heads in the clouds and heroes that are all charm and no flaws. But in reality, no one is quite so perfect, even in the realm of fairytales.

  Anything, my first full novel, is the story about three girls who live in the fantastical country of Vairleigh. There’s Violie, the blunt, brash and beautiful princess silently rebelling against a life she has no control over, Bindi the Cinderella-esque heroine who has both feet firmly on the ground, thank-you-very-much and more sense than to pine over princes and then there’s Tippa, the wide-eyed, romantic village girl who proves she’s made of tougher stuff than everyone seems to expect of her.

  When Bindi’s mother dies, leaving her orphaned at seventeen, a stroke of fate sends her to the palace on the whim of Prince Lucas, a boy she didn’t recognize a few weeks before when they met at Market Day. Once there, Bindi is ostracized by the other ladies who attend to the princess, ridiculed if she’s lucky, ignored completely if not. She finds friendship in an unusual place, the princess herself who is just as much an outcast as she is, but by choice. She also finds herself falling for Prince Lucas, despite her hardest efforts to be practical.

  After Bindi left her best friend Tippa behind in their village, Tippa relied more than ever on her fiancé Peter, whom she’d been desperately in love with since they were twelve. But when another girl turns up pregnant, claiming Peter as the baby’s father, Tippa finds herself wholly alone for the first time. She makes it through, closing herself off from romance for the pain it had already caused her. But where does that leave Jory, the scar-faced, kind-eyed knight who has been faithfully delivering letters to and from Bindi since she left?

  Violie, on the other hand, needs no one. She’s grown up with only her older brother and his despicable friend, Raif for true company. One day, she knows, she’ll be shipped off to a foreign country to secure an alliance of truce. It’s not a future she’s ever openly begrudged, though she quietly fights it in any way she can. When Raif goes from being despicable to being surprisingly alluring, Violie finds herself unwilling to part from him. Though at what cost to her country?

  Anything tells the story of three radically different girls from opposing backgrounds as they pass into adulthood and learn what love and friendship really mean.

  As stated before, Anything is my first full novel (currently just over 97,000 words), though I’ve written several unfinished stories and a few plays including one that won Critic’s Choice at the Florida District X Thespian Festival. I’m currently a freshman at Savannah College of Art and Design and aspiring to major in Performing Arts and minor in Creative Writing and British-American Studies. Thank you for taking the time to look over this and let me know if you’d like to see the full manuscript.

Sincerely,

Laura Kathleen Sebastian

A couple of side notes: I did not, in fact, end up minoring in Creative Writing or British-American Studies. Eighteen-year-old Laura was an ambitious but lazy creature. Secondly, this query could have been phenomenal and this book wouldn’t have gone anywhere. It was a godawful mess on so many levels, but let’s pretend for a second that it wasn’t. There are so many things wrong with this query alone. I’m also pretty mortified by the names I chose.

The most troubling thing about it isn’t even the embarrassing mess of typos (but check your typos, guys) it’s that there is nothing compelling about any of this. There is no sense of what the characters are working toward or what’s at stake for them if they fail. I don’t think anyone reading this would want to know more and therefore, it’s not a successful query.

The beginning paragraph could, honestly, be cut. It’s cliche and boring and I would bet most agents stopped reading one sentence in. Not that it gets much better after that.

There’s just too much happening here. Now, I had three main characters with different things going on and one of the many problems with the manuscript itself is that there wasn’t really a through-line connecting the stories. The characters knew each other and interacted, but their stories weren’t really connected. As a result, the query was impossible to write in any sensical way.

For comparison’s sake, below I’ve pasted the query I sent out for Ash Princess:

Dear __________,

Theodosia’s mother was known as the Queen of Flame and Fury, but after their country was conquered by seafaring savages and her mother executed, Theo became the Ash Princess. Taken hostage at the age of six to prevent rebellion, she has been ridiculed and abused by the Kaiser and his court for more than a decade. Though she is surrounded by those who use her country’s once sacred magic sacrilegiously, the only power Theo possesses is her sharp, conniving mind. She pretends to be broken and empty-headed in order to survive, but Theo has never stopped gathering intelligence and planning her revenge.

When the Kaiser forces her to execute her last hope of rescue, Theo vows to save herself, even if that means hurting the enemies she’s come to love. She throws herself into a plot to seduce and murder the Kaiser’s warrior son with the help of a group of magically gifted and volatile rebels, but her developing feelings for him and her close friendship with a spoiled but kind socialite blur the line between the naive girl she pretends to be and the shrewd queen she needs to become.

Cornered into impossible choices and unable to trust even those who claim to be on her side, Theodosia must stand on her own as a queen in order to to liberate her people before there is nothing left of her country but ashes.

ASH PRINCESS is a YA Fantasy novel complete at 91,000 words. It is perfect for fans of Marie Rutkoski’s THE WINNER’S CURSE and those who root for Sansa on GAME OF THRONES (but wish she had a little more gumption).

I graduated from Savannah College of Art and Design in 2012 and am currently living in Manhattan and working as a babysitter. Previously, I interned at Housing Works Bookstore and I still volunteer there. I also have a play published with Playscripts, Inc.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Laura Sebastian

Even rereading it now, there are little things I want to change, but overall the query does it’s job. It introduces a main character (Theodosia) and shows what she wants (to reclaim her country) and it makes it clear what’s at stake if she fails (her life and the lives of her people). It also hints at complications that will arise on her journey without giving an overwhelming amount of information right up front. My agent ended up using bits and pieces of this query in my pitch letter and it still lives on in my Goodreads summary. I also can’t understate the importance of good, accurate comp titles, but again, that’s another post for another day.

In an early version of this query, I’d made the common mistake of throwing too many fantasy names of places and people right up front but an amazingly kind agent (Molly Jaffa at Folio Jr) pointed this out early on and my query became instantly better.

It’s worth pointing out that my Ash Princess query is significantly shorter than my first one, but that it accomplishes way more. This is something to think about when you write your query as well. Having seen a query inbox from the other side, I can say that agents do get a LOT of queries and that keeping things concise and compelling is the way to go.

I got no interest at all in my first query, no partial or full requests. For Ash Princess, I got quite a few requests, including one from Agent Laura!

So if you’re currently querying or getting ready to start, I hope this helps out a bit and I’m happy to answer any questions. It’s a rough path, I know. I have email folders with over 200 rejections, not including the agents who don’t reply if they aren’t interested. But hang in there. Write. Rewrite. Rewrite some more. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

[torentialtribute]

Gutsy Rory Burns busy ironing out creases

Gutsy Rory Burns busy ironing folds … England selectors deserve the honor of staying with him in this series

Fair game for Rory Burns for another other gutsy innings in the fourth test in Old Trafford

Burns seems to me the kind of kid who goes away and looks at his problems

an inexperienced test to see batsman work out how he will improve: 22 BST, 6 September 2019 Updated: 21:29 BST, September 6, 2019

The selectors deserve the honor of sticking to Rory Burns in this series. He didn't get many runs for Surrey, he failed twice against Ireland and his wayward technique, with all its moving parts, looked like it might be hard to fix.

But fair game for another Gutsy innings. Burns seems to me the kind of kid who leaves and looks at his problems. He works with a coach and trusts – Neil Stewart at Surrey – and solves problems.

In the first test, and during the competition – even when he scored a hundred. Since then, he looked a lot more comfortable, so that's a big hit.

Rory Burns produced another tough innings for England in the fourth test against Australia

This is Test Cricket, but this very good Australian attack soon worked that he is vulnerable to everything above hip height. He does not drop his gloves and gets his chest up, feet down and shoulders straight. This means that he cannot dive out of the way as easily as if he is standing aside.

It also stops scoring, because he is not a big trigger or whore of the ball. In the best case, he gets a few back-foot punches away.

But despite that, and despite all the short things Australia threw its way, especially during an excellent spell from Pat Cummins, Burns got out of the way and looked faster. It helped him that this Old Trafford field had good pace and carrying capacity, so he relied on the jump and knew when to play and when to swing.

Yet he still had to think about his method. It is not easy to do when tests come thick and fast. For example, look at the way Jason Roy went no less fast to the ball as an opener – and the way he played Friday confirmed that he didn't change his technique, lunging at the ball.

Despite all the short stuff came from Australia he looked the road well and looked faster from his feet

I also like the way Burns quickly takes length against Nathan Lyon. Sometimes it seemed that Lyon had thrown a fraction short, but Burns' skill is that he doesn't get stuck on the forefoot against the spinner. One thing he should pay attention to is when he leans back and cuts – he has to make sure he doesn't fall off and hits him in the air.

In general it is good to see how an inexperienced test batsman leaves and tries to work out how he will improve himself.

]

Still like Joe Root, he will be disappointed that he could not go further and earn a hundred, and it was interesting to see Root talking to himself after he reached 50 and in that excellent fight with Cummins used to be. It was as if he was urging himself to be harder.

Steve Smith made a remark on Thursday night about how, after he got his life with the Jack Leach no-ball, he wanted to make sure he saved it count. I would like to see the same ruthlessness of Root, both as a batsman and as a captain.

Like Joe Root Burns will be disappointed be that he couldn't do it & # 39; t go ahead and make a century on Friday

Often, after turning 50, it seems that the time of his innings is getting busier. During the spell of Cummins, who cut off pieces from him, he played a vague back-cut with three slipping guards, that was when he had a word with himself

Root is so talented that when he gets in, you want make sure he only goes to a jaffa.

I believe it was a technical mistake, not a mental one. He seems to be more trapped in the fold by Josh Hazlewood than any other bowler, and in all honesty, Hazlewood's efforts have been brilliant for him in this series. It is that in between, especially when Hazlewood bends the ball in from a wider fold, meaning that Root cannot hang on the back foot.

Instead, he fell again in the & # 39; 70, which will be a huge frustration for him and England towards the end of such a hard-fought day.

]

Share or respond to this article:

Source link