#[ stanley convo ]

[rhadko]

doodle/meme dump from rk + beetle

[thisispersonal]

another animatic actually. he‘d do it no hesitation let’s be so fr.

[humandyke]

thinking abt how kyle would go off to law school in boulder and show up to the first day of classes in sweats and everyone else is dressed like the fucking dead poets society and he gets super embarrassed and becomes obsessed with dressing dark academia for every class and stan is like dude it’s not that deep chill out

OR the opposite he hypes it up in his head like “yeah, i’m a LAW student i wear blazers and loafers and slacks and i drink black coffee” and everyone else is in sweats/athleisure and he gets so upset bc he just spent so much money on nice clothes

[0th3rw0rldl1n3ss]

grunkle stan back alley top surgeon au

[jackyjackdraws]

Listen, he is trying his best, okay?

[square-with-a-mouth]

An actual convo i had w/ my mom

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Not me finally finishing Gravity Falls nearly a decade after the finale aired because I didn’t want it to end and crying like a little baby at Stanley’s sacrifice. Fuck. This show is so perfect.

[l00k-its-rock-and-roll]

OMG CHAPPELL ROAN IS THAT YOU??

[heroexxs]

stanley knew that the two of them should have been fast asleep, especially knowing the little amount they would be getting when the baby would finally be there. the two of them had moved in together and while deniz had her own room, the two of them would find themselves heading into one another's room just to spend time and be close to one another. as he tucked an arm behind his head and got comfortable, he pulled her close to his side and rested a hand on he stomach as the two of them laid next to one another. "what color eyes do you think they'll have?" he said in a whisper even though the two of them were the only ones in the apartment. "maybe they'll have blue, i don't know..." he said with another chuckle as he looked over at her. he knew her due date was right around the corner and he hoped that the two of them were as prepared as they'd ever be. "take a guess what they'll look like."

// @wvnderlands

[alextwdgf01]

What do you mean this isn't the correct quote???

[brinteylovesaliens]

Me: I don't like KISS, but I've always had a crush on Paul Stanley

Mom: gross, KISS is awful!

Me:

Mom:

Me:

Mom: and you're crazy for thinking he's better looking than Catman

Me: 🤣

[fayes-fics]

Textual Encounter

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.

Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3

Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 

BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…

Y/N: Not Liz?

BB: Nope, Ben here. 

Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?

BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...

Y/N: Lol.

BB: Big date, eh?

Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.

BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?

Y/N: ??

BB: Getting waxed.

Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!

BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.

Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.

BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.

Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.

BB: The lady doth protest too much…

Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.

BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.

Y/N: BLOCK.

BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.

Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.

BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.

Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.

BB: 🫡

4 days later.

BB: How’d your date go?

Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?

BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.

Y/N: ??

BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?

Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁

BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.

Y/N: For what?

BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.

Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 

BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 

Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.

BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔

Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.

BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…

Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.

BB: I do my best 🤷

1 day later.

Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.

BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?

Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?

BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.

Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?

BB: Graphic design.

Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 

BB: It pays the bills. You?

Y/N: MI-5

BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.

Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…

BB:

Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?

BB: It was called for.

Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.

BB: I would too, tbh.

Y/N: Bi?

BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.

Y/N: Anyone else?

BB: I’ll keep you posted.

Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.

3 days later.

BB: Oscar Issac.

Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.

BB: For the bi thing.

Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.

BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.

Y/N: Appreciated.

3 minutes later.

Y/N: You paint?

BB: I dabble

Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.

BB: You like me?! 🥹

Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.

BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.

BB: But thank you 😊

Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 

7 minutes later.

BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?

Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??

BB: 👀

Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.

BB: I saw. Very handsome.

Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?

BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.

Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…

BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.

Y/N: On a school night?!

BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 

BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.

Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡

BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞

Y/N: I can't win…

2 days later.

BB: Settle an argument for me.

Y/N: 🍿

BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?

Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.

BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.

Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.

BB: Hah! Excellent!!

Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?

BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.

Y/N: You did. You did.

BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.

Y/N: 👍

5 mins later.

BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 

Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?

BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.

Y/N: I won't…

BB: EXCELLENT.

2 minutes later.

BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?

Y/N: Ask me properly…

BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?

Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀

BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?

Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 

BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?

Y/N: I’ll be there 😀

BB: 😀

10 days later.

BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨

Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?

BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?

Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…

BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.

Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦

Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[winterrain-11]

some gravity falls hcs :3

- The twins love divorced dad rock. they didn’t really even listen to it growing up but they will listen to it unironically (dipper cries to second chance by shinedown)

- soos names his kids after mabel, dipper, and stan of course, but he tried to name his fourth stanley jr before melody explained that juniors don’t work like that. his next suggestion was waddles which was also turned down

- along with this, soos was DEVASTATED when he found out that dipper wasn’t his legal name. he refused to let dipper tell him what his legal name was for years until melody said that they couldn’t put dipper as a first name

- mabel’s cat and waddles are mortal enemies it’s giving dipper and robbie wanting to k!ll each other when wendy isn’t looking. dipper knows but will NEVER tell mabel

- soos and melody basically took pacifica in after her parents sold the manor and subsequently got more abu$!ve. she takes over for wendy as cashier at the mystery shack after wendy leaves for college

- as soon as mabel gets her braces off, dipper has to get his own. he gets clear bracket bands and mabel (who originally didn’t want to make fun of him for braces bc she knows how much they suck) bullies him relentlessly for looking like a dork.

- mabel eventually publishes children’s books with her scrapbook-style drawings and they’re a hit.

- when dipper first came out as trans, he wanted to be called tyrone. mabel supported him wholeheartedly and was so excited to have a bother, but had to sit him down and BEG his white ass not to use tyrone.

- Mabel had a lot ocs that she writes fanfiction about when she’s bored. she has a hella wattpad following and everyone loves the absurdity of her plotlines

- stan and ford very quickly realize they know NOTHING about actually maintaining and sailing a boat. it was a hell of a learning curve and they almost capsized multiple times

- ford loves the big bang theory and also minion memes. he periodically discovers new memes from 2010 and tries to incorporate them into his convos. he once walked in a room and said “here come dat boi” and mabel gagged

- stan still has significant memory gaps from time to time along with relapses in forgetting. when the twins finally got used to it, dipper started telling stan fake shit that he did over the summer to seem cooler, but mabel would just privately tell stan much lamer, embarassing fake stories about dipper to counteract it

- ford was devestated to find out that doctor who ended a few years after he got sucked into the portal but ten times more excited when he learned about modern who. he loves 10 so much (he kind of looks like young fiddleford. only mabel has made this connection)

- wendy takes a liking to pacifica after she becomes close with soos and melody. she eventually gets her own place on the outskirts of gravity falls and they regularly hang out and watch movies, wendy gives her advice about independence and moving away from the toxicity of her family

[starsfic]

Weak Thing

Summary: Stan can't leave the Mystery Shack, especially when the twins take higher priority than Ford's studies and issues.

Some dialogue is based on a Discord convo between me and @vegalocity

"I can't do that."

Stanford Pines was usually a very patient man. You had to be patient to be a scientist and deal with long hours with very little progress, especially in a field like his. However, Stanley had always brought out the worst in him. "Why not?!" he snapped. "It's my house-"

"Because the kids' parents are finally doing what our parents should've done." Stanley had always been blunt, but this amount was enough to get Ford to slam his mouth shut. "They're getting a divorce and-" He sighed, the anger in his eyes easing back just a tad. "I haven't told the kids yet, but they're not just for the summer. They're here for at least a year or two."

"At least?" Ford echoed.

Stanley shrugged. "I don't really know, at least until the battle over property and stuff is over and the divorce is finished. Could be shorter, could be longer. Mark's always had the Pines' stubbornness and Ariel-" That must've been the twins' mother. "Ariel's always been a bit of a bitch but in a good way. It helped them through a lot of things, but now that's against each other."

Ford couldn't help a snort. "That's why they need to work on their issues for the kids-"

A hand wrapped around his throat. It was the second time his twin had shut him up in this conversation, but the last time hadn't had this cold fury in his eyes. "They're getting a divorce for the kids' sake.'' Stanley hissed. "The kids got sent away because Dipper overheard his own mom tell his dad that she should've aborted him and Mabel if she knew how much of a dick Mark was." Ford couldn't say a word. "If you repeat that divorce bullshit around the kids, then you'll only hurt them. Mabel's got this fucked up idea in her head that she can smooth things over with matchmaking and I need to help her with it." He squeezed once more and then pulled away. "But, look. The long and short of it is: Do you want to take care of the kids full time while their parents hash things out in California or do you want to go back to your studies?"

That stung. That stung and even worse, Ford knew what he would pick. "It's my house," he tried anyway.

"Not anymore," Stanley snorted. "Also, what do you think has been paying the mortgage on this place? You lost your grant long before I got here." Wait, no, hang on, that wasn't possible, not with the amount in his savings- Before the could voice his protest and explain how Stanley was wrong, his twin held out a key. "Your records are in the top cabinet, file F," he explained. "I also saved your weird voice recording machine with all the voicemails the university sent." He let out a low hiss. "Warning, they get pretty mean at the end."

Ford wanted to say more. Something. Anything. But Stanley had turned it on him faster than he could blink. He had to try, though. "I can take care of them..." It sounded weak in his ears.

"Sixer," Stan said, the old nickname harsh against his ears. For a minute, he swore Bill was hovering in front of him instead. "You couldn't even take care of yourself without someone holding your hand."

And...that was true, wasn't it? Stanley had to be the one to drag him out of bed so they couldn't be late for school, McGucket taking over in college and during his studies. They had to be the ones to make sure he actually ate something. They had to...

Fuck.

He couldn't do that for two teenagers. He couldn't even do that for himself.

"Good night, Ford. I'll hash out the house rules tomorrow."

Good night, weak little thing.

[terrifiedlimechime]

okokok here we are again

the yapper opened her mouth quick get the ear plugs 🙄

so when I think of the stan twins I think of idyllic seaside area...about twenty minutes away because glass shard beach really lives up to its name, polluted and covered in beer bottles as well as sea glass

and the pawn shop, well, not a place for kids, but filbrick couldn't care less

man up boys it's time to learn how to haggle!

and although the stan twins have...a...relatively...interesting life (if selling overpriced junk is interesting to you)  filbrick decides that these kids have it way too good. off to the countryside, you pampered little-

well, gravity falls is a...remote place. so with a bottle of sunscreen and a boot up the ass the stans are off to take on gravity falls with grunkle dipper! (or grauntie mabel. im considering having dipper impersonate mabel. MAYBE.)

and dipper is HARSH to ford. like...real harsh. dipper liked all that science stuff when he was a kid, and where did that get him? running a shitty tourist attraction with a box of fake ids under his desk. (sad) ford stumbles into the forest, hits tree, the whole journal finding scene. and branded with a shooting star is a journal describing all the anomalies of gravity falls.

not a massive scientific document, rather a brief study and description of the different creatures, how to protect and slaughter some of the more dangerous (and/or wearable) kinds aswell as various garments inspired by them

the whole tourist trapped gnomes take mabel away thing is flipped to a large group of fairies taking stan (more love for stan please 🙏) to be their king, bla bla bla, fly swatter instead of leaf blower, swat swat that's it, good job guys

in the time travelers pig (possum..rat thing?) we see stan win shanklin by guessing how many fleas are on him (old fifteen 'er) while ford tries to impress fiddleford by winning him a gobblewonker plush (fmcg: "I don't know what that monstergamajig is...but I want it!")

then we meet.... BILL!

bill and gideon are swapped in this au, so bill is a human with his own telepathy tent, branded with a triangle and famed for its "mind tricks"

he never takes off that stupid triangular eyepatch...

dipper...well dipper hates him. "that little brat, always calling me pine tree, making fun of the shack"

and immediately, like gideon, bill is drawn to ford, flattery, "mysteries? haha I love them we should totally talk ab them",n stuff, yadayada

till bill tries to rizz him up asks him out on a date, the whole "omg I don't like him like that can't we be friends again" "no hes gon fall on love" stanley to stanford convo happens, stan breaks up w bill for ford, bill goes apeshit, uses a triangular amulet like gideons, basically what happens w gideon in the show him up asks him out on a date, the whole "omg I don't like him like that can't we be friends again" "no hes gon fall on love" stanley to stanford convo happens, stan breaks up w bill for ford, bill goes apeshit, uses a triangular amulet like gideons, basically what happens w gideon in the show

BUT (I over thought this reference way too much) when defeating bill, ford pretends to be on bills side, bill gives him the amulet and tells him to wipe his brothers mind, ford pretends to, stanley uppercuts bill in the face and ford breaks the amulet, all is saved

b: "CURSE YOU PINE TREE!!"

later in the series, more mysteries are solved, maybe candy/ grenda take the place of soos? idrk, stan and ford set up dipper with pacifica (bcuz i said so)

and guess who billy boo boo summons?

none other then gideon chaos-god gleeful!

the whole gideon-bill scene flipped (i like to think human bill is more confident then human gideon in it tho)  and bill and gideon make a deal (idk if i should js tweak gideons human design or make him his telepathy tent star) and instead of bills blind godly confidence and obvious flattery, gideon is all texas charm, the whole shabang

he invades stans mind for the mystery shack deeds, yadayada...

but there's something going on with grunkle dipper...

under the shack, by night dipper tries to fix the portal. the catwalk is in a wreck, and the portal is just about operational (he has a picture of the twins aswell as mabels perfume that she left in the house down there. its the same one she used as a teen and its the only thing that keeps him from falling apart on the bad days)

under the shack, by night dipper tries to fix the portal. the catwalk is in a wreck, and the portal is just about operational (he has a picture of the twins aswell as mabels perfume that she left in the house down there. its the same one she used as a teen and its the only thing that keeps him from falling apart on the bad days)

he's not what he seems.

(might write more, might fling myself off s cliff in the meantime)

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

Shitpost I did based off a convo with @chris-mclean-has-me-by-the-neck

(Stanley belongs to her)