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primofate · 3 years ago

Note

im feeling kinda akward since its my first time requesting,i really really really like your writings and im wondering if you could do some angst for albedo, anything you feel like tbh, but if may i be a little selfish i was thinking on something like he hurt you, so you break up with him or maybe he break up with you and regret later, im in love with the genius and your writings so why not lol, hope you are doing well, xoxoxooxox

Thanks for the request anon. <3 Sorry it took so long, but I’m feeling angst today so here goes. Let me know what you think <3

QUEUED POST

Scenario: Breaking up

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst?

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)

Read: (Part 2) (Part 3 - Final)

Albedo

Alone.

These days you found yourself alone in your shared home. It had been nearly a year since the two of you decided to live together. Maybe that was a bad idea.

You were smitten. He was such an intelligent man, and truth be told you loved how his mind worked. He was silent and mostly kept to himself at first, but with you, there were subtle touches, fleeting kisses. Oh and his eyes, the way his eyes brightened or the way his lips turned up at the sight of you. The way he held you close at nights, up until the morning.

Gone were those days.

He was hardly home. The intelligent man you had fallen in love with, was also a workaholic. Perhaps you should’ve seen it coming. There were so many signs.

Maybe he changed. Maybe you changed. But the little things weren’t enough anymore. He came home just to sleep and wake up, and he was off again.

“Bedo, have you got some time off on the weekend? We haven’t been up to Starsnatch Cliff in a while,” you had prodded him a few days ago, wondering if the problem would be solved if you made the first move.

“Sorry, Y/N, we’re just about to discover more about the properties of electro crystals... It’ll be useful if we want to sustain higher energy concentrations on...” and just like that he had gone off a tangent explaining the whole thing. You smiled a little, it was still endearing how excited he got discussing those things.

But you couldn’t help but be lonely at how he seemed to love his research more than you.

‘Maybe I just need to be more proactive. That’s it! I’ll go and visit him at the lab today!’ Surprising him was one of the things that you had always wanted to do. But not a lot of things got past Albedo. He was observant like that. You made a quick run to the bakery, getting him some croissants and welcomed yourself into the Favonius Headquarters.

You looked up at the sign on his laboratory door. That sign was always there though, Klee had told you about it, and Sucrose had also talked about it once or twice before, telling you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go in if the sign was up. But when was it ever down? So, you shrugged, and pushed the door open with a wide smile.

“What are you doing here?!” There’s a wild look in Albedo’s eyes the moment you step in. He didn’t appreciate being disturbed. You tilted your head a little at his reaction, you weren’t expecting that.

“Oh, since you’ve been so busy these days I just thought I’d drop by and give you something to--”

“Y/N, did you not see the sign on the door? No disturbances, even from you,”

“I’ll just be quick, I’m just dropping this off,” you lift the paper bag from the bakery and lay it down on the nearest table. Albedo closes his eyes with a sigh.

“...We’re working on something dangerous right now, I don’t have time to eat. Please take it back,”

Surprisingly, you obey quite quickly, and take the paper bag back into your hands. Annoyance start to pulse in your veins. “Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

Sucrose had been standing there the whole time, and you can see the slight wince on her face at your cold statement... But Albedo had returned it ten fold, snapping an answer back. “Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

You didn’t expect how much it would sting. Your shoulders slump downwards at the realization that this... had gone too far. You couldn’t take it anymore. Sucrose opens her mouth, but doesn’t know what to say looking back and forth between you and Albedo.

The Kreideprinz had continued with his task as if nothing had happened at all, but he knew what he said. He didn’t want any interferences nor accidents happening in the lab and that was the only thing he cared about at the moment.

Your foot moves to step back, but your eyes are glued to Albedo. You can only see his back. His hair tied up neatly, the shoulders that you loved to wrap your arms around and his hands that were always gentle. You took a good look, drinking the whole scene in like you hadn’t had a drop of water in days.

This was the last time you would lay eyes on him and it broke you into so many pieces. You turned away without another word, Sucrose staring at the door, before she decided that she needed to follow you. “I-I’ll be back, Master Albedo,” she rarely ever abandoned an experiment, but she knew that you needed a friend right now.

Ironic, because it should have been Albedo running after you, but instead the green-haired girl caught up to you just as you reached the fountain in the middle of Mondstadt. “Y/N!” she jogs, and stops when you do as you hear your name.

Tears prickled your cheeks, but they were more of frustration than sadness. You stand there for a moment, drying your tears and turning around towards Sucrose, gaze on the pavement. “Y/N...” Sucrose approaches carefully, hand resting on your shoulder.

“...I don’t know anything other than Albedo, Sucrose,” you start, a curtain of memories flashing through your mind. “...Without him, there isn’t much reason for me to stay in Mondstadt,” Sucrose shakes her head rather hastily. “H-He’s just... a little occupied right now, Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t mean what he said,” You close your eyes, the scene repeating in your head.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

A hard lump forms on your throat at how hard you try not to sob. How hard you try to keep yourself together and Sucrose sees it from the way your lips tremble. “Sucrose, please watch over him,” and that is also the last that Sucrose sees of you.

That night, Albedo arrives home exhausted, just as he always does. But now that he was home, he could at least expect a warm meal and a warm hug. A soft smile tugs on his lips at the thought.

When he turned the lights on, he was met with a strange stillness instead. His hand stays on the switch as his eyes scan the living room. It was...quiet. There were no plates on the table, and there were no sounds from the kitchen.

Deep in the pits of his stomach there’s an anxiety that starts bubbling up. He brushes it off, opting instead to check the kitchen. “Y/N?”

Empty.

His footsteps hasten as he opens the bedroom door, expecting you to be curled up there, asleep.

Empty.

Albedo takes in a shaky breath. You were probably just out in town, doing some late night shopping. Yeah, that’s it, perhaps you just didn’t have enough ingredients for dinner today and--his eyes land on the bedside table.

The photo frame is gone. The photo of the two of you standing side by side together with comfortable smiles on your faces, his hand on your waist, and the house on the background.

He throws open the closet doors. Your clothes are gone. Your shoes are gone. Even your scent seemed to have disappeared. The anxiety that was once a small bubble in his stomach had started to claw it’s way out, wrenching his heart in places that he didn’t know could hurt. The tears pooling in his eyes were so foreign that he didn’t even know what was happening until he hears himself gasp back a sob.

You’re gone.

Suddenly it was so hard to breathe, but he pulls himself up and out the door. There’s no way. Where would you go? Perhaps you were just around Mondstadt, trying to get a breath of fresh air to calm your nerves. He searches everywhere. The church, the tavern, the Good Hunter and even atop the rooftop of the Favonius Headquarters. There was a decent view of the city there, and his eyes roam the streets, just to get a glimpse of you.

“...Please...” There’s another lump in his throat, his eyes dart around looking for any small sign of you.

“Albedo? Tired?” you ask as he returns home one day. He merely lets out a small “Mm,” and pulls a chair out from the dining table to sit on. You walk into the kitchen to fetch him a cup of tea, and he snatches your hand to press a soft kiss on the back of it. “Thank you, love,”

“...Please!” his grip on the stone walls of the rooftop tighten. His vision blurs.

“Al! Don’t do that!” you try to swat his hand away from the pot, a short laugh coming off of your lips at how mischievous he could be sometimes, trying to dip his finger into the sauce. He has a grin on his face as he successfully tastes the sauce off his finger, making a sound of approval as he draws you in for a light kiss on your forehead, “It’s good, as always,”

His legs buckle, and he finds himself on his knees, hands fisted upon the cold stone wall. “At least tell me where you've gone! I can’t--” he doesn’t know when the last time he cried was, but whenever it was, he doesn’t remember it to be this bad. The pain was unlike any injury he had, it grasped so tightly at his heart.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

He furiously shakes his head because he knows that it was his fault. “I didn’t mean it, please give them back,” as if there was someone else who took you away. As if there was a God listening to him right now.

He realizes that the worst of it was not that you had left, but that you had left no traces of you behind. No photo. Not a piece of clothing. Not a trace of your existence.

Nothing for him to hold on to.

That night, he dragged himself back home. Face flushed and hot from the tears he had shed and the ones he was attempting to hold back.

That night, he painfully got into bed.

Alone.

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nevereverlandboys · 3 years ago

Text

Drunken in charge

A/N: So I already posted this on wattpad a while ago. I was busy with learning for my exam, but now I finally managed to edit everything so I can post it on tumblr for those who don't read in wattpad

If you want to get tagged for my oneshots DM me ❤

Pairing: Ouat Felix x Reader

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, fingering, oral, unprotected sex, consuming of alcohol, swearing, really unrealistic sex scene lol, unprotected sex

Summary: Felix is being left in charge for the camp while Pan is absent, so games are off along with every other game. What is there else to do than drink? The second in command uses this opportunity to finally get closer to the reader after being so distant for a long time.

word count: 9968

The Island was harsh and cruel to everyone in an unfair but equal way. Even though the lost boys lived free on Neverland, they still were ruled by the mischievous leader named Peter Pan. Each of them had their own suffering they would not mention to anyone, rather feel the pain alone and the loneliness followed them with every step. But if someone caught Y/N's eye the most, it was the quiet second in command, Felix. He always stayed close to his leader and would always follow his command. His cold facade never told her a single thought, making him special in his own way. He would leave the girl alone and only joined her on missions, but even then, the second in command would remain quiet. Pan on the other hand, tormented Y/N with thousands of useless tasks, while the lost boys worked on their own duties that seemed to make way more fun. No matter how hard she tried, Y/N would never fit in the group of lost boys, their name alone excluded her. None of them treated her fair, always left her out and acted like she was their servant. At first, the boys all seemed curious, and also a little intrigued about her appearance. They wondered why the shadow brought a girl to Neverland and if she would stay forever or just for a while. Their vicious behavior scared her off the first days, keeping her distance in a small tent. There was nothing special about Y/N, and she wondered why Pan brought her here from the beginning. Soon they boys learned that as well, treating her harshly like everybody else. They mocked her for being too weak, being too emotional,- they mocked her for not being a boy. After a while Y/N stopped asking questions and simply agreed to her new life. There were many good things to mention, nothing here was all bad. No one cared about her exploring the island during the day, at least if she did not go too far. If she wanted to cook for herself, there was no one in the way, and if she wanted to read in her tent, they would not enter- also because she was definitely sure Pan forbat it. The lost boy's feared and loved their leader at the same time, the way he let them live the free life they always wanted and not even seeing how dangerous it could be had convinced them. Y/N had distanced herself from them and their cruelty, rarely appeared to any big occasion and rather traveled along the river that ran it's way through the meadow and pastures. It was a surprise when one boy asked her one day to join a game, leaving her startled and unable to answer since no one ever really attempted to talk to the girl. It woke a piece of hope inside her, some of the younger boys already liked Y/N, yet, there was always something suspicious around the older ones.

"C'mon!" The thin boy yelled excitedly and waved his hands through the air, gesturing to follow him.

"This will be fun!"

Y/N avoided the demanding boy and tilted her head while her eyes wandered through the group before they stopped at the second in command, his eyes already burning on her skin when she detected him on his log, not far. His gaze made her nervous, uncomfortable and she questioned the decision to join the game. Something inside her shook the thought off, that Felix would approach her one day for some other reason than Pan made him, or that he would ask her to join a game.

"No…" Y/N answered nervously and looked back to the lost boy, trying to ignore Felix in the back. She did not trust that boy the slightest.

"I have to clean the kitchen." She lied and dropped her gaze to the ground. The boy left as quickly as he came, not even trying to convince her further as if the interest was faked like everything else on this Island. After a while she sat alone in silence, watching the smaller boys play with sticks and some older ones preparing some meat and stickbread for the bonfire. The feeling of being watched did not let go. Y/N tried her best not to look suspicious and quickly let her eyes wander further when she found the guilty boy, Felix.

Why is he still staring at me?

She never found out. The boy stayed exactly where he was and so did Y/N. He would constantly steal a glimpse and for a moment goosebumps spread all over her body, as butterflies rumbled in her stomach. A few days went on and she had catched the second in command staring at her over and over again. Whenever she looked at him, he quickly shifted his eyes somewhere in hope not to be catched. Sitting at the dining table she would catch him, when she did the laundry or cooked in the humble kitchen. The lost boy woke some curiosity inside the girl, the urgent need to know why he would always steal a glimpse, whenever she walked by. He never slipped a nasty comment, definitely strange compared to the other lost boys and their vivid temper. He never approached her or tried to keep up a conversation either. As soon as the sun went down, Pan appeared in front of Y/N's tent, calling her to come out and get some firewood. His second in command stood not far, leaning against the bark of a tree and chewing on a toothpick. He didn't need to wait for his leader's command, already knowing he had to join her.

"Be quick." Pan ordered sternly, pressing his brows together before strutting back to the other boys. Her eyes instantly shifted over to the lanky, blonde boy, a smirk plastered on his pale face. If Pan knew that this was not a good idea? Felix turned on his heels and led the way through the trees uphill where the bushes covered the edges down to the abyss, not looking back once.

"C'mon, girlie." He said.

'Don't call me that!' She snapped back and paced up. The lost boy's camp disappeared on the ground, the higher Y/N followed the path before Felix stopped in front of a dark forest, the leaves swallowing every light before it could touch the ground.

"Princess." Felix corrected cockily, watching her step between the trees. She started to blush and was unable to say something, so she decided to simply ignore the giant boy's nickname for her, no matter how flattering his words seemed. She tried to act tough, tougher than she actually was, in hope he would recognise it.

"How in the hell should we get wood in the dark?' Y/N mumbled as she stared into the pitch black.

"Are you scared?" Felix teased and gave her a smirk. His voice was deep and rough, unsettling but still going like honey through her ears. The girl scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, then led the way with firm steps, not even seeing the ground and suddenly tripping over into a mess of wood.

"Fuck!" She hissed and held her hands to check the unbruised skin. The lost boy started to laugh darkly to himself, before he stepped closer.

"This wood is full of chunks." Felix explained and bent down to pick up the wood. Y/N rose to her feet and grabbed some wood, not saying another word. Felix remained silent as well, heading with heavy back to the camp. After a while he stopped and turned, watched if she could catch up and continued when the girl was close enough. All the time she wanted to talk to him, using the moment all alone with him, but as she hurried to follow the second in command, no single idea for a conversation came to her mind. It was like someone wiped every thought away and replaced it with the heavy drumming of her heartbeat. As soon as she reached the clearing, Felix dropped the wood onto the ground and left them for the other boys to take care of it. Her chunks landed right next to his and she paced up to catch up with the gloomy second in command, when a tight grip on the girl's wrist stopped her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Y/N tilted her head and faced Dave, a tall chubby boy with messy brown hair, his eyes dark and soft like marbles. The lost boy looked like a bear, warm and welcoming, nevertheless it were his words that often scared her off. He only had nasty comments for Y/N, threats and if Pan wouldn't protect her for being a weak girl, the lost boy would probably harm her physically as well.

"The potatoes won't cook themselves!" Dave barked and pushed her harshly away before his eyes wandered over to the kitchen tent. Y/N bit her tongue to stop slipping a nasty comment, marched over to the humble kitchen and let out a growl when she saw the mess inside.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She whined as her eyes wandered over the dirty pots and Pan's, knives and forks along with every spoon. At least it was not stinking and disgusting, easy to wash, yet an avoidable effort if every boy would clean after themselves. But why should they? They had Y/N. Deciding to only clean the essential goods and shoving the other things aside, she opened a little basket with potatoes in it and placed them on the little counter. Like she expected, no one came to help her during the cooking, only one boy showed up to ask if she could hurry up. The same boy did not even thank her when she finally gave them the cooked potatoes half an hour later. The selfish behaviour of these boys was the thing Y/N hated most, more reason to focus on the second in command, the only boy who had never shown her this nasty attitude. While every other boy slowly gathered around the bonfire after they ate, Felix stayed where he was. He did not dance like the others and Y/N was not even sure if he could hear what the boys claimed to hear. Pan once said, his flute was special and the girl was supposed to hear her too. None of them had an explanation, still, it did not seem like the first time for Pan, seeing something like this.

The girl's eyes darted back to Felix, his eyes already burning on her skin and she instantly moved her head to make it look less obvious. The tempting idea of walking over to him burned inside her guts, but with all those boys around, she was like being frozen in place. The second in command never talked to her when it was not necessary, not even one muscle in his face twitched when he interacted with the others. Still, something inside Y/N pulled her towards him from the beginning, as if his attempt to block her out was even more tempting. When she distanced herself from the bonfire back to her tent, Felix stayed at his seat instead of following her like she had imagined he would do. A little disappointed she went to bed and kept twirling all her thoughts around the mysterious second in command. There were so many questions about him. No one ever understood Felix, maybe not even Pan, although they were closer to each other than no one else on this whole Island.

The following days Pan left Felix in charge, going on a mission by himself. The absence of Neverland's leader made itself noticeable first, when the lost boys stopped playing their big games and went directly to their duties, almost no words slipping from their usually loud mouths as they worked in silence. The day had started boring for everyone on it, Pan was already away for a few days, so Felix was fully in charge. Games were off, along with parties and especially dances in the evening. If Y/N could tell, the dances were the most annoying thing to the second in command, the thing he hated the most. Felix did not like the idea of taking care of anybody else but himself. So it came that even after weeks, Y/N had barely exchanged some words with him. He would simply avoid her and in case of sharing a task, just stare at her in curiosity. It was a lie to say he did not make her nervous, even when it was not in a scary way. The second in command was weird in any way and whenever he built himself up in front of her, she and broad, he made her look even shorter than she actually was. A feeling almost pleasant instead of scary. It was like something pulled her towards the cold lost boy, but the lack of courage would not let her talk to him. If he felt the same?

Felix was intimidating to look at, it was like something was wrong with his face but Y/N could never tell what. His high pitched cheeks were sharp and narrow and there was an awful scar running along his left cheek up to his brows like an 'x'. The most creepy things were his eyes though, whenever she looked into them, she was willingly drowning in a cold puddle that dragged her deeper in. They pierced her, as if he knew every secret inside the girl's head. Nevertheless, he was not ugly, rather pretty to look at. When his blonde hair hung messy over his face and the way he smelled. Whenever she walked past him, she would smell pinewood and musk. Even though he was well known for his cruelty, the lost boy never raised his hand against Y/N, nor called her nasty things like the others did. She was not even sure on how to do it anyways. Felix always looked busy or like he did not want anyone to speak to him. When she thought of it, the girl could not remember one single boy really talking to the second in command except Pan, but then again,- they only talked about plans and other secrets. He was a mystery of his own, a riddle for Y/N to solve. She glanced over to him and saw that he was carving something into a piece of wood. The lanky lost boy had distanced himself from the other boys, having his seat on a log as closest to the forest as possible. Maybe she could strike a conversation about his passion for carving? He was doing that almost everyday without talking about it and when she thought about it, she had never seen the final results. After a while, courage overcame her, so she stood up and walked slowly into Felix's direction, already noticing in the corner of her eyes the disapproving and concerned looks of some boys. They started to talk quietly to each other and she instantly knew it was about her. Their eyes burned more on Y/N's skin with each step further towards Felix, making her feel nervous and jumpy. Rolling with her eyes at them, she still marched to the lanky blonde boy, stopping when she was close enough to him. The heads of the lost boys instantly shot away, as if they felt too scared to let Felix know about their curiosity when he lifted his heavy head from his broad shoulders.

Felix's eyes darted up, his mouth shut tight and his facial expression went blank like always. His look told Y/N that he was strong, but never how he felt. She tried to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat. Unable to speak, she stared with a deadpan face back at the second in command, trying to find an excuse for her behaviour. The idea with the wood seemed so dumb suddenly and she wished she could just melt into the ground or simply disappear as the lost boy stared back at her, locking their eyes and waiting for her to say something.

"Have you seen Pan?" Y/N choked out and sounded calmer than she expected to be. The blonde boy raised an eyebrow suspiciously and nodded behind him into the dark forest. Big trees hovered high up into the sky, all around the clearing, hiding every view. It was pitch black. Y/N swallowed at the sight of the dark woods and she shook her head slowly, feeling so scared of the unknown dangers. There was no reason for her to see Pan, the leader was not a pleasant person himself and the lie only made her more anxious.

"I think it wasn't important anyways." She mumbled unsure and turned around, feeling how her whole face heatened up at the fact that she talked to the mysterious second in command. Suddenly, the tall boy grabbed her by the wrist, causing her to turn and face him again.

"I'll bring you to him, if you feel scared to go alone." He said dry and rose to his feet, tall and intimidating. The girl was so small next to him, peeking up to him again as her limbs lightly started to tremble. Felix glanced down at her and again, she shook her head slowly. The girl did not know if he simply did not notice it, but when the lost boy shoved her into the pitch black, terror overcame her. What was he doing? Not daring to say a word, before the light around her vanished, she only felt the lost boy's hand on her back as he pushed her gently forwards. Her heart was pounding so hard, she feared he might feel it. Where the hell would he bring her? Where was Pan all the time?

"Don't." Y/N winced and turned on her heels, running past Felix back into the camp. The lost boy instantly jumped around and stormed after her, chasing her across the clearing towards some big trees. She tripped over one of their big roots, almost crashing down but still finding her balance. This was the moment Felix jumped at the girl, crashing down with her, his heavy weight pressing the air out of her lungs. The lost boy spun her around and pinned her arms down on the floor before she could take a sharp inhale. Y/N tried to free herself in panic, but she could not move at all, when the slender boy straddled her and held her down. The colours in Y/N's face faded away and her heart pumped wild inside her as if it were about to explode, unable to tell if she felt excited or scared. Maybe a healthy mix of both. She was sure he did not want to hurt her. Frankly, he never did.

"Why in the hell are you running from me." He asked angry, slightly confused and she thought even a bit hurt as he pressed his brows strictly together.

"Don’t hurt me." She muttered and the pale boy frowned. He loosened his grip and swiftly rose to his feet and pulled his hood back over his head, then strutted quickly away, not even giving her a last glance.

That was strange, she thought. Her heart was still beating furiously. What happened? The lost boy scared her and made her feel like burning at the same time. She took a deep breath and raised to her feet, wiping the dirt off her clothes. Felix was a strange guy and he only confused Y/N. Why did he just stand up and leave? She was not dumb and clearly could add two and two together. But it could not be that the second in command had some interest in her, why should he? The boy barely spoke to the girl, even when they had chores together. Y/N remembered one of the first days, when Pan sent them both to get some dreamshade and the tall blonde did not even let her near one of those plants, not even mentioning why. When he held the filled glasses, the boy walked a big distance between her back to camp, giving her the feeling of not being wanted. Later she had learned the dangers of it and Felix's strange behaviour now. It was an easy addition but she needed to be sure, not even knowing how to deal with this information.

If I am right.

The next day Felix clearly avoided her. Whenever he felt like she was too close, the lost boy would quickly find another place to go. She did not want to ask any of the boys about it, not wanting them to know, but it was obviously something off. They would not answer her anyways, only giving her questioning looks. After that weird situation in the evening before, the second in command completely vanished. There was no big effort to look for him and when the girl went to bed, she completely forgot about him. He had not given her any duties yet, so she took her chance and left the camp to take a shower and later gather some fruits and seeds, everything edible the Island would offer her without having to kill. She did not know how to hunt and was not sure if she could even catch an animal. Peter once told her that his best man would teach her to hunt, but Felix always seemed to be so busy that she simply never asked him to. At first she had avoided the blonde, lanky boy, not knowing his temper. He had scared her so much but now she could not stop thinking of how he had straddled her and how much she liked it. This was stupid. She barely knew Felix and still Y/N pictured herself with him in so many daydreams now. It was always easier to dream about someone and she was not crazy enough to consider anything about the rough boy. But where would he be? What is he doing right now? God, she needed to stop thinking about Felix. She was overthinking.

The time passed by and Y/N found herself at the clearing again, watching two boys fight in the distance, with a small crowd around to cheer their violence. Her eyes wandered over the whole area, searching for the second in command. He sat far away next to a few older lost boys that hollered around while drinking some rum. Since Felix would not let them do anything, the only possible solution for the boys was to drink and do stupid things that would not bother the tall scarred one. They were drinking more alcohol than any adult could ever handle. The girl's eyes shifted over the group, seeing how they stumbled and swayed around. Felix sat on a log with his own bottle of rum in his hands, he kept his distance from the other boys, observing them with a blank expression but it was visible that he was drunk, too. When he saw Y/N entering the camp, the second in command's head spun around, meeting her gaze and she could swear his face lightened up.

"Y/N!" Someone big yelled excitedly and jumped at her from the side, almost swaying her off her feet before she could even think of the name "Felix".

"Drink with us!" The chubby boy cheered with a dizzy voice. His dark, bushy eyebrows hung deep over his small eyes and he wrinkled his nose, making a nasty, slimy sound, reminding her of a mull. He was not pretty to look at, mean and vicious, sometimes insulting for no reason. He was that kind of a boy who would mock one and still complain when they did not want to be his friend.

"No, tha-"

"DRINK!" The chubby boy repeated himself more aggressively and grabbed Y/N's wrist to stop her from leaving before she could even try getting away. His fat fingers would definitely leave a mark later as she furiously tried to yank herself free.

"YOU ARE HURTING ME!" Y/N whined and buried her nails into his wrist, but the lost boy would not let go.

"It will be fun! Don't be such a lame ass." He gave back and tightened his grip. Felix, who had watched the whole scene from a distance, immediately jumped to his feet and stormed towards them, yanking the boy away and threw him violently into the mud. He gave him the most powerful kick that his anger would provoke, that the sound of the fat lost boy's scream caught everyone's attention.

"I will snap your fucking neck!" Felix threatened so calmly that the other boys would not even hear it as he pressed his jaw together, his hands forming into fists that his knuckles turned white. The chubby moonface groaned dizzy and turned onto his stomach, trying to lift himself drunkenly out of the sludge. With a closer look, Y/N understood why they all called him Piggy, instead of Mull. He turned his head confused around before he would drop back onto the ground again. The girl's eyes widened at the sight of this cruelty, even though she felt relieved and maybe a little entertained to see Piggy like this. He truly deserved it. On the other hand, she wondered why Felix came so quickly to help after he had tried his best to get out of her way. Y/N's cheeks burned up and she knew it would be the perfect moment to talk to him.

"Go." Felix said. He turned to her and shoved her gently away from the boys towards the tents. His big hand warmed her comfortably on her back, waking the butterflies in her stomach and causing her to shiver. The second in command rested one one of his arms on the girl's shoulder to keep his balance as he swayed between the tall bushes forwards between the trees.

"You should go to sleep." The lost boy said huskily, stopping in front of her tent, his grey eyes staring at the closed curtains. The excitement inside Y/N turned into disappointment when she saw where this actually went, so she stared irritated at the tent as Felix pulled his arm away and stepped away, slowly heading back.

"I am not tired!" Y/N gave back and knitted her brows together, confused why he just left her now. He could have stayed at the camp instead of joining her in the first place. Why come all this way up here? Felix's head spun around before turning back to stop right in front of the girl. He bent down to face her and made it possible to smell the alcohol in his breath as she stared into his gray eyes illuminated by the pale moonlight. The messy, ashen hair hung half over his face,- Y/N liked so many things about him and right now he was so perfect. He has never been that close before, except when he had tackled her.

"The boys aren't so well behaved," The second in command snickered. "Especially not in that state."

Y/N giggled when she thought of Felix acting like he was a good boy, after all those terrible things he did. There was a reason why he was second in command of this brutal gang and he proved it by the way he treated Piggy.

"And you're not?" She gave back quite bravely, raising an eyebrow cockily. Felix chuckled low to himself, slightly shaking his head before he gave her a smirk, showing his white palette of perfectly lined up teeth.

"If you want me to," Felix purred and wiggled with his brows. "I'll be whatever you want."

The girl felt goosebumps spread all over her body at his words and for a moment, she just stared speechless back at him, unable to say a word and wanting nothing more than kissing those pink lips. Felix was drunk, he could not think straight and definitely did not mean what he said. The lost boy's breath tickled hers and she noticed how close he was and how she just had to lean in, to steal a kiss. There was no way she would risk it, well aware that Pan loved games and she could not let the thought go, his best man would love them as well.

"Do you have any suggestions?" She asked as her nose touched his, her lips almost on his as she gently ran her hands over his chest. Felix ignored the question, moving instinctively and rough, grabbing Y/N's neck and pulling her in to close the distance between their mouths. His tongue was warm and tasted like liquor, still it did not bother her at all, when he vividly explored the inside of her mouth. Felix's hands vanished under her hair, grabbing her head and pressing the girl firmer against him while his intoxicated mind led his actions. Y/N gasped surprised into the kiss, not expecting him to do this even though it was what she wished for. Felix was way taller than her and for the moment he was forced to bend down at her height, holding her in his broad arms that pressed her tightly against his chest. When Felix’s pulled away, his eyes were still shut and he ran his thumb over Y/N's lips, licking his own and let out a gasp when he realised that he did not only imagined to do that. Then his eyes widened and she could see that he realised for the first time what just happened, what he just did.

"Sorry…" Felix mumbled unbelievingly and shook his head with widened eyes. He pushed her harshly away and rose to his feet, quickly checking full terror if someone had watched it.

"I was-" Felix spoke hoarse and slowly took a step back, then another one, a few more, until he turned on his heels and sprinted quickly away, not finishing what he tried to say.

Y/N stood there for a moment as if she were stuck in place, not able to process what just happened. With a swift movement she stormed through the curtains of her tent towards her bed to hide under the covers. She grabbed a pillow, held it against her face and screamed inside it. It was hard to tell if she felt excited or embarrassed. Felix kissed her, so why should she be worried about something? Maybe it was a test and she failed? Hell no, that would be some serious bullshit if that were the first explanation and she had seen his reaction. The way he held her and how he tasted heatened her up. Every cell inside her body craved for more.

No, what are you doing, she thought and shook her head, replaying that scenario in her head over and over again like a broken record. With a swift move she rolled onto her back and stared up at the curtain ceiling, hoping to find an answer to what her next step could be. If the lost boys would find out, they would never stop talking about it, maybe even start to think she was easy to have. Y/N gulped and squinted her eyes at the thought of them all trying to hit on her. Felix was different though. He was tall and intimidating, his cold stare would pierce through her with a burning desire and his smell intoxicated her mind. Whenever he was around, she could barely think straight, desperately wanting to figure out what laid beneath that cold facade. Never in a thousand years, she could have guessed that he liked her back. On the other hand, he was not able to make proper decisions drunkenly and maybe Y/N was encouraging herself too much. There was almost nothing she knew about the tall boy and falling for him that fast could only harm herself in the end.

Y/N closed her eyes and brought her fingers to her lips, touching them, while imaging to feel Felix's on them again and remember what they tasted like. The second in command barely spoke to her and now that? There was definitely more behind it. It had to. Her other hand slowly wandered over her stomach to pull up the dress, slipping a finger inside to play with herself. It was not the first time she thought of him while touching herself, but this time something was off. Deep inside her something stopped Y/N, no matter how aroused she already was. She needed to talk to Felix. Under no circumstances she would let him ignore her for days again. Yanking the blanket away, Y/N jumped out of the bed and eagerly left the tent, turning her head furiously around to find the tall boy. He did not sit next to the others anymore and when she walked downhill to his cabin, she could feel her heart pumping furiously inside her chest. The girl stopped in front of the wooden door to knock and when no one answered she knocked again.

"Felix!" She tried to be as loud as she could be while still not attracting someone else's attention. There was still no answer and she felt dumb for even thinking it was as easy as this to find him after the previous events. He could not be far, the lost boys still needed someone who had an eye on them before someone could get hurt. Their hollering was still audible and the bonfire in the distance let Y/N see a few of them behind the bushes. For a moment she thought of going back to the clearing again, hoping to find Felix there, but the thought of meeting Piggy alone now was no good.

"Y/N." The girl suddenly heard Felix’s raspy voice behind her and she turned dazzled around, the warmest smile sitting on her lips.

Felix swayed dizzily into her direction, closing the gap between them two while he tried to keep his balance. The lost boy's head was too high up, making it impossible to steal a kiss from him now.

"What are you doing here? I told you to sleep." He asked nervously and pulled her away from his cabin towards the trees, his head constantly turning to look if someone watched. When he placed his hand on the girl's back again, his touch sent electric waves through her spine and she wondered how his slender finger would feel on her bare skin.

"Did you drink more?" She asked, noticing how he swayed more and the second in command vividly shook his head in response, grinning like a small boy on a sunny day.

"You have."

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh-Uh."

"I can cleanly tell-"

"I am-," Felix grabbed Y/N gently by the back of her neck and pulled her in, his face coming closer again. "-Not. Drunk."

She started to laugh and leaned into his grip, bringing her own hand up to touch his scar. Felix's blue eyes melted when he felt her fingers, closing them and relaxing as her touch traced as light as a feather down his skin. He relaxed for a moment and enjoyed the touch on his scarred skin, before he suddenly woke out of trance.

"The boys better not see us." He cleared his throat and broke apart, letting go of her.

"No one saw us, Felix." His name echoed through the dark forest like honey and Y/N grabbed his hand tight- she was way smaller than his. The girl felt Felix's breath in her face, how his nose almost touched hers and before he could do anything she had already closed the gap between them two, pressing her lips against his. Felix moaned surprised into her mouth but instantly grabbed her cheeks and slid his tongue inside. She could still taste the liquor and wondered if she might have taken advantage of this situation. The tall boy's moans told her otherwise. He moved his hands slowly towards the girl's waist down to her ass, cupping it rough while her smell intoxicated his senses.

"We shouldn't." He whispered and she heard him move even though it was too dark to see. Nevertheless Felix pressed himself harder against her and she felt through his pants how hard he already was from only kissing.

"Why not." She breathed against his neck, leaving a trail of kisses.

"The boys," Felix said, his eyes rolling back with a soft moan when he felt her tongue on his throat. It was enough to convince the second in command, his fingers wandered over her delicate body, burying them inside her tender flesh. It's been a long time since someone touched Y/N and she could not resist the lost boy's demanding hands. He lifted her dress and wandered with his palm over her skin to the rim of the underwear, enjoying the small moans when his fingers wandered further to her inner thigh, drawing invisible circles on it.

"Felix…" His grip tightened when he heard the girl purr his sweet name in the most delicious way and he almost could not hold himself back to tear her clothes off right at this place. The lost boy dared to slip one of his fingers inside Y/N's panties and when she did not complain, he pushed his slender index inside of her, feeling how her soft walls tightened around him. If Felix had not realised it earlier, he knew at least by now how much she craved him when he felt how wet she already was. Y/N let out a gasp when he started to push his long finger in and out of her, causing the girl's legs to tremble and her knees to shiver in excitement. She closed her eyes, giving up trying to see something in the dark as she melted into Felix's arms, her face sliding down onto his shoulder. She found her balance by grabbing the lost boy's leg and then she realised that he was kneeling in front of her. Y/N was actually glad that the surroundings were pitch black, feeling her cheeks heating up in embarrassment from her uncontrollable sweet moans. Before she would absolutely lose her mind, the girl managed to push the lost boy slightly away from her while her hands moved down to his belt. Her fingertips ran over the leather and the lost boy instantly frowned at her touch, his whole body stiffened and he stopped moving for a second.

"W-wait." He stammered, the adrenaline pushing the dizziness of the alcohol away. "I-I… never…" he continued and stopped, his hands wrapped around Y/N's wrist, insecurities overwhelming him as he held her in a safe distance. Now she really wished to see his face, well aware that he must look like earlier when he kissed her, startled and somehow shy.

"Well," she replied after a small pause, her voice echoing clear through the night, "Neither have I."

There was an awkward silence between them two and if the lost boy would not hold her by her hips, she would probably believe he was gone by now. The second in command was embarrassed for no reason, what did he fear? Y/N had no clue how to do this and if she was honest, it was way more appealing that Felix was a virgin, too, even though she did not expect that. All the time she thought he was so confident and now he was so vulnerable to her. The lost boy still did not speak, so she bent into another kiss, hoping to catch his lips in the dark. Felix gasped when he felt her lips on his scar and pulled the girl back in. This was good, they did not need to talk- should not talk. It would only make this weird. Talking would come naturally. Felix grabbed Y/N's hands gently and brought them back to his belt for her to continue what she had started. She let her fingers trail over the leather to his buckle to open it, enjoying the moment when she opened the button of his pants and slowly pulled down his zipper. The lost boy moaned inside her mouth when she slid her hand into his pants, pumping his hardened cock as best as the tight cotton would allow her to. Felix noticed her struggle and broke apart from the kiss to lift himself up and take off his clothes. Y/N heard how each piece of clothing dropped onto the ground while she waited to be told to do the same.

"Should I keep my dress on or-"

"Keep it on." Felix ordered and chuckled to himself, then pulled her back against him, his cock pressing against her stomach. The lost boy let his hands slide under the girl's dress and pulled down her panties for more access, then kneeled naked in front of her while his fingers did their magic. They felt so long and strange, making Y/N wonder if she could even handle Felix's cock. He already felt so big in her hand when she touched him again, fully exposed and hardened. The lost boy lifted one of her legs over his broad shoulder and before Y/N could even figure out what he was doing, Felix pressed his tongue against her clit. She let out a surprised gasp and giggled at the ticklish sensation. The lost boy felt how tense her leg was and reached for the girl's hand, holding it and drawing invisible circles on her palm.

"Relax." He lifted his head and lightly squeezed her fingers, caressing it a little, then pushed his mouth against her slit, his hot breath warming her as his tongue slid over her clit. The comfort of his touch relaxed Y/N instantly as if the lost boy had enchanted her somehow. He pressed his rough tongue harder against her, burying his face between her legs as he ate her out. The girl could not control herself to keep her from moaning, but led the boy's pace with it, whenever something felt good. He buried his nails into the tender flesh of her thighs and with a swift move he pushed the girl down onto the ground, pushing his fingers faster into her. She could not tell which was tongue or fingers, the overflowing sensation spread inside her body up to her eyes as she felt how she got closer to her orgasm. When Felix’s jaw started to ache he broke apart, breathing heavily and leaving Y/N craving for more on the cold ground in the exact moment she would almost finish. Without saying a word the lost boy pulled himself up to her, placing some sloppy kisses on her mouth before placing his arms next to her, so that his weight would not be too much.

"I want you so much." He panted while he slowly let his thumb circle over her aroused clit.

"Felix-" She pressed her lips onto his and stroked his hardened dick and pulled his torso closer to lead him to her wet entrance. The lost boy let out an uncontrollable moan as he pressed his dick against her dripping slit that already craved him so hard, slowly gliding in to make the girl feel every piece of his mighty cock. He stayed in this position for a moment to adjust this feeling and Y/N felt herself tighten around him, excitement overwhelming her body along with the smell of the lost boy intoxicating her mind.

"Fuck!" Felix hissed as he started to move in a steady motion. His lips caught her once more, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss. Y/N took a sharp breath and pushed her hand against his abdomen, when the lost boy moved, feeling like getting torn apart by him. The lost boy stopped for a moment, shoving one arm under her neck to hold her while his lips softly traced over her chest. After a short moment, Felix moved again. Y/N buried her nails into his skin and rolled her eyes back as the lost boy thrusted into her core, slowly feeling herself relaxing in this position after a few strokes. The pain faded away and she melted into Felix's body as if he was meant to hold her. The sweetest words kept unsaid, too embarrassing, too emotional, still, there was something inside them both that felt more than just enjoying sex. It was Felix who took her virginity and the thought of being the one who took his let her heart skip faster. The second in command felt like a dream,- his sweaty, hot skin pressed tight against hers, his abs flexed and hardened during every move and he was just so fucking tall. Felix moved both of his hands down and cupped her naked butt, lifting Y/N up and pressing her against the bark of a tree. He buried his fingers into her tender flesh and left a trail of kisses on her neck as far as he would reach her. The lost boy held Y/N as if she weighed nothing, pressing her body tightly against his skin. She could not resist sinking her teeth into his neck, sucking on the delicate spot until she was sure he would not leave without a mark. As soon as Felix realised what she was doing, he pulled her head back by her hair. To his own surprise, she let out a light moan, feeling even more excited from his big hand in them.

"The boys can't know." Felix purred into Y/N's ear before he licked over her neck, sinking his teeth lightly into her shoulder to hold him back from letting out another moan.

"Harder!" The girl commanded for Felix's surprise, who had already thought he was already being too rough with her. The lost boy followed the order, pressing himself tighter against her before he paced up, pumping in and out. The sudden sensation flooded Y/N's body and she knew there was something building up inside her, an indescribable feeling of being high. Felix moans got higher, sometimes even stuck in his throat and she was sure he was close too and that he desperately wanted to climax. Before she could realise it, Felix swayed them back onto the ground, gripping her ankles and pressing them against his legs as she wrapped her arms around his neck to capture the lost boy in another kiss.

"I am almost-" Felix spoke in a hoarse tone. It was so dark and Y/M really wished she could see his face at this moment. Felix was so vulnerable right now and even though his moans were the most beautiful melody in her ears, just the thought of a short glimpse of his face made her feel hotter.

"Felix." She purred when he suddenly hit a spot that would not stop making her feel like being on ecstasy.

"I-." She gasped when the knot inside her stomach released and she felt her orgasm roaring through her body with thousands of tiny, electric waves. Jaw clenched and eyes pinched, Felix gave it to her in short, powerful bursts, filling her up with throbbing pumps. His abs flexed and his hands tightened around her ankles. He cursed. His body tensed, and she swore she felt his cock pulsing inside of her as he came in waves, thrusting in and out until he felt himself getting soft.

"Fuck…" Felix let her legs fall to the side as he bent to rest his head on her sweaty chest. "That was…"

She combed her fingers through his messy hair, almost out of words how incredibly good she felt. "That was something."

"Yeah." He kissed the spot between her breasts, "It was."

Felix pulled his dick out, not even seeing the mess he made but still wanting more. Neither of them wanted that night to end and for a while, Felix tried to find his clothes and Y/N thought of how she would clean herself up.

"C'mon." Felix whispered and she heard him step away.

"Wait!" Y/N called and quickly grabbed her underwear- well, the only choice right now-, cleaning herself with it, before running after the tall blonde and crashing into his back.

"Easy, love." He chuckled and grabbed her under one of his arms and strutted towards the dark in one direction, knowing this place perfectly, even drunkenly and without light.

"Where are we going?" The girl asked after what felt like an eternity for her, but in reality it was just a few minutes. The trees left some space for the moonlight now and gave her a chance to take a peak from the second in command's happy face. His cheeks were dyed a deep scarlet and his hair hung messy and full sweat down his face.

"Trust me." He said and paced a little up before he came to halt in front of a big tree, the ladder up to it vanished behind some leaves. Felix climbed up first and lifted the girl up into the tree house when reached the trap door. Felix moved towards a small night desk and lit up a candle. As soon as the light flooded the room, Y/N saw the small cot and a self-made desk under one of the closed windows.

"I built it myself." The lost boy grinned and proudly watched the awe in her face. She swirled around and looked at some little carvings that were placed on the wooden table. Some of them looked like her. When Y/N's eyes detected the little sculpture, she finally understood why she never saw the results and why he burned one earlier. The girl turned around to say something, but Felix stopped her immediately. Before she could say anything, Felix dropped down onto one knee and pulled her into a kiss. His tongue slid over her lips, begging for permission to enter. Without thinking about it, she opened her mouth and felt the lost boy's hand on her hips, pressing her against his body.

"I never thought you would like me too." Felix moaned and eagerly kissed his way down her neck, back to her face and lips, repeating the same thing on the other side and showing how hungry he still was for the girl. Felix clearly had not been touched in a while, just like Y/N, so it was quite natural that they immediately would have a moment like this sooner or later. But why Felix? What was about him that made Y/N constantly crave more, causing her to feel like an addict without his drugs, whenever his lips left hers? Her cheeks heated up and she smiled in the kiss, thinking of the previous events, how Felix's hands felt on her skin. It was special to be with him and the girl's instincts told her that it was more than just sex, that Felix wanted more, too.

"I want you again." Felix licked over his lips and looked at Y/N through half-opened eyes before he slowly melted back into another kiss, this time slow and passionate, synchronising with her while his hands moved down her hips and legs. He gently rubbed his hand against her inner thigh and wandered towards her crotch, to shove a finger inside her still wet hole. He smirked dirty when he felt his mess. Y/N wanted him so much, just like he craved her, maybe even a little more.

"I want to get naked all night long." Felix purred as he pushed his fingers inside and out of Y/N, her light moans echoing in his ears. Without further commands, the girl slipped the dress over her shoulder, letting it elegantly slide down her now exposed body. Felix's cheeks flushed up into the deepest red, his eyes admiring every sight of her that he desired for so long, and truth be told, he was in awe. When the cotton touched the floor, the lost boy grabbed for the hem of his own shirt and ripped it off, then quickly unbuttoned his pants before he crossed them with his underwear through the room. When Felix pinned her down and pulled Y/N into another kiss, he was already hard again, his hot skin burning against hers as her mind drifted off into a feeling of ecstasy. The way Felix's hands trailed down her body gave her chills once more, kept her warm and made her feel wanted.

"Pan would kill us for this." She mumbled into the kiss when the girl thought of how he protected her earlier, something he never did before and sure did not keep unnoticed to the other boys as well. It worried Y/N for a moment, thinking about how Pan always found out every secret, no matter how little it was. And this was definitely not a small secret, something that could be obvious to others. Or maybe Y/N was just paranoid.

"Relax." Felix said, frowning at her words as if the same thought had bothered him for a while now, too. "He isn't here. He won't find out."

The blonde boy rolled over onto his back, pulling the girl with him so she would straddle him. The light of the candle danced over his sharp features, letting it shine in an orange light that spread down to his muscles, constantly catching her eyes as if they were glued on him. Felix always looked beautiful in the orange light of the fire. Every night she would catch herself staring at him. He was perfect.

"You look so beautiful." Felix whispered more to himself than to her, then wiped some hair out of her face. "Unbelievable that someone like you chose someone weird like me."

Before Y/N could correct him, the second in command already captured her lips with his own, burying one hand in her hair while he kneaded one of her breasts with the other one. His words only flattered the girl and she felt the burning desire to finally be one with him again and melt into his body. Felix gasped at her touch and moaned into her mouth when she wrapped her hand around his dick, slowly pumping up and down while gently rubbing at the delicate tip. His member felt long and thick in her hands, but did not scare her off like earlier. Placing the tip at her wet entrance, she slowly slid down onto him, relieved that the lost boy did not push against back,. The stretching feeling made her feel like getting torn apart all over again and she gave herself a moment to adjust to the size. The lost boy rolled his eyes back and shut them with a loud moan when he felt her walls tightened around, rubbing his thumbs against the tender flesh of her hips, when she finally started to slowly move up and down. Seeing the ruthless second in command like this was really stunning and lovely to look at. Felix's mouth was slightly agape and the muscles on his forehead were constantly twitching, moving his eyebrows constantly around. Never had Y/N seen so much emotion in his face before. She pressed her body against the lost boy and sucked at the tender part of Felix's neck. The lost boy used that moment as a chance to turn her over, holding Y/N tight in his arm, the other one holding his weight so he would not suffocate her while he was pumping in and out. Y/N moaned in ecstasy and ran her hands over his muscular back, feeling his skin against them and how his sweat dropped onto her body. She placed her legs on each side of his, clearly noticing the height difference and feeling like a delicate doll as he embraced her. Felix paced up and she rolled her eyes back when he entered in another angle to come even deeper. She never wanted this to stop and kept feeling how the lost boy filled her with his thick manhood, smelling his scent and feeling his hot skin burning against hers. Felix kissed his way down to her chest and caught one of her nipples between his lips, lightly starting to suck on them and intensing it with each time he thrusted in. These were the final strokes that caused Y/N's legs to shiver and tense up every muscle in her body as her climax roared through her whole body, up into her eyes into the back of her head. The lost boy grabbed Y/N's shoulders and when he came, too, the light of the candles danced in his beautiful, scrunched up face. It was a lie to say she did not like that view and the squeaking sound he made when Felix felt his orgasm deep inside her with throbbing pumps. Felix rolled next to the girl, trying to catch his breath and when he did so, he grabbed a towel from the bed for her.

"We could have used the bed." Y/N broke the soothing silence after a while and Felix chuckled, then nodded in agreement.

"Next time." He grinned, pulling his boxers up and placing himself back onto the ground. His eyes did not stop looking at the girl while she grabbed her dress and pulled it back over herself. For a long time they just looked at each other, laughing and giggling, kissing each other but remaining silent. This was clearly something none of them expected to happen.

"What do you see in me?" Y/N suddenly asked, caughting the lost boy off guard, his facial expression went into full confusion. It took him a moment to think about her question before he simply smiled. His eyes would always melt at her sight and in that moment she needed no words from him to realise how much he was in love with her. The lost boy pulled Y/N closer to him and placed her head against his chest, lifted her on his arms and carried her to the bed where he would let himself fall onto the soft mattress. His legs hung over the wooden frame as he gently rubbed his hands over her back while listening to the beat of his heart.

"I would never let anyone harm you." His voice was just a warm breeze on her earlobe, tickling her like a gentle kiss.

"What about Pan?" She asked after a while and took a glimpse at his relaxed face and how her question did not seem to have woken any worries inside him now. He had brushed it off earlier.

"I think, actually, he knew way before me." Felix chuckled low and shook his head unbelieving. "He gave me a chance I got wasted."

#felix ouat #ouat felix #parker croft #ouat felix imagine #ouat felix x reader #ouat felix smut

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hogwartsfirebolt · 4 years ago

Text

cw: canon-typical child neglect

“We will come for you, Potter, you won’t know a single day of peace until you see us again.” Augustus Rookwood spat at Harry’s feet, but seeing as he was tied up, immobilized and held by two of their strongest aurors while six others swept through his house, it was a bit overkill.

“Draco,” Harry said, ignoring the spluttering criminal. “I saw a row of phials in the kitchen, care to give them a look?” He was already looking at something else as he gave the instruction, confident enough in his authority to know Draco would listen.

“Yes, sir.” Draco replied easily, watching his hands as he swept through files. The words turned Harry’s attention back to him — a raised eyebrow, the glimpse of a smile, cheeky, promising. After all, he was sir here, when they worked crime scenes together, and sometimes he was sir at home, too, when it was the last Saturday of the month and they were feeling adventurous.

Draco grinned back. Harry shook his head, the smile still present in his eyes, and went back to looking through Rookwood’s desk.

They’d hunted him for months, countless sleepless nights spent on the case — both of them were slight workaholics and never knew when to stop — endless missteps, near-catches, failed leads. It wasn’t often they got to work cases together anymore, not since Harry had been promoted to Head Auror and Draco put in charge of the Potion Control Department, and so they had given it their all, became the power team they’d been known as back in their Junior Auror Partners days.

It had been fun, seeing Harry in action again, aiding him, leaning on him as well. It had also been exhausting. They weren’t 20 years old anymore.

Finally, it was coming to an end, and it was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Draco could already taste the fresh air of the Amalfi coast, where they’d be celebrating their sixth wedding anniversary as soon as they finished the paperwork.

“Here,” Junior Auror Healey said when Draco entered the kitchen, pushing a small cardboard box towards him over the table. “The boss said you had to look this over.”

Draco snorted. “The boss knows I don’t have to do anything. I won’t look if I don’t want to,” he said, already looking because well, he did have to.

“Oh, not the old married couple attitude, please,” came Ron’s voice from the living room, surprising a laugh out of Draco as he popped the cork off a phial with utmost care.

“Shut it, Weasley, I will end you and Harry won’t stop me.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“What is it?” Healey whispered, awed, ignoring Ron completely as she stared at the burgundy fumes emerging from the phial in Draco’s hand. She’d always liked Potions, had asked to apprentice with him when her training ended in the fall. He beckoned her closer.

“Come on, you can smell it — there, what do you smell?”

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “Poppy.”

He hummed. “Yes. It’s a powerful sedative, topped with golden spindle chord and moondust, from the looks of it. This could make someone sleep for years.”

“Honestly, I get why people would buy it. I know a few I’d like to give it to.”

Draco grinned. “Such a Slytherin. Careful, the Gryffindors here will try hard to take that edge off you.”

“That was one time, Malfoy,” came Ron’s voice once again, this time sending Draco and Healey into a full laughing fit.

When they recovered, Draco handed the potion back to her, safely corked. “They all look the same, but I’m not sure about the conditions they’ve been preserved in. Have Newton send them to my lab, will you?”

She nodded. Draco washed his hands and walked back into the house, drying them on the sides of his robe. He passed Ron, who was securing the wands they had confiscated, passed Newton, who was inspecting the spell damage on Daphne’s arm, and went to find Harry in the office where he’d left him, thinking it was time to leave, thinking of the hot shower and warm bedsheets waiting for them at home.

Instead, he found him by the stairs, breathing hard, eyes wide. He stopped, hackles rising, his heart speeding up immediately, attuned to Harry’s uneasiness.

“Harry? What’s wrong?”

“I’m — I’m not sure … can you hear that?” He raised a trembling finger, pointing out a sound. He had goosebumps all over his arms.

Draco blinked, focused, and then he heard it. A light tapping, coming from the cupboard under the stairs, and something softer, sweeter, a hum, almost as if someone were singing to themselves.

“Is that…?”

Harry blew up the door.

The child looked at them, eyes wide, swinging feet tapping against the side of a tiny cot. He looked confused rather than scared, as he sat there in clothes at least five sizes too big for him, messy brown hair covering his forehead. He couldn’t be older than four.

Draco knelt in front of him immediately, hands going up to his shoulders, his face, making sure he was safe. His heart was somewhere near his throat.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, which was the primary thing in the midst of the most disconcerting finding he’d made in his entire career.

The child shook his head. Hesitated. Then, in a sweet, small voice, “Where’s uncle Gus?”

Draco couldn’t breathe. “You’re Augustus Rookwood’s nephew?”

The child nodded.

“Where are your parents?”

“Uncle says they’re dead.”

“W- what are you doing in here? With the door locked?”

“This is my room.” Draco heard Harry make a choked up noise behind him, but didn’t turn to look. “Uncle Gus says I’m not supposed to bother him. Am I — am I bothering him?”

“No, no. Are you — how long have you…” his hands trembled, holding the child’s collar. “Do you live with anyone else?”

The child shook his head again. “Before, yes, but uncle says auntie Gertie is dead too.” There was a pause. Draco heard nothing behind him, but he couldn’t make himself look away from the kid, the hollow cheeks, the small frame. He looked starved.

“What’s your name?”

“Silas.”

“Are you hungry, Silas? When did you last eat?”

“I think — I think breakfast.”

“Today?”

“Yesterday.” He replied. Then, with curiosity, “Who are you?”

It was six in the evening. Nearly two full days had passed since his last meal. Draco closed his eyes, swallowed.

“My name is Draco. We will take you somewhere safe now, is that okay? You’re safe with us.”

Silas’ hazel eyes lit up. “You’re taking me away?” But his joy seemed to last merely a second, his gaze turning to his feet. “But uncle will be mad. I’m supposed to be good. Am I being good?”

“Oh god.” Came Harry’s voice from behind him, fractured. He fell to his knees beside Draco, pulled Silas off the cot, held him by the shoulders. “We’re going to help you, okay? You — you’re coming with us. You don’t have to come back here if you don’t want to, you’re safe, you … I promise. I promise we will keep you safe.”

Silas hugged Harry.

Haunted green eyes met Draco’s over the boy’s shoulder, those eyes he loved more than anything, holding unshed tears that seemed to go unnoticed, the depth of a decades-old pain coming to the surface, fresh once again, renewed.

There were things Harry couldn’t speak about. Hadn’t, not even once.

Now, it was all there in his eyes. A question.

Draco saw two neglected children, clinging to each other by a cupboard under the stairs, and knew what he was being asked. He didn’t need to think about it for even a second when he nodded.

Harry closed his eyes, hugged Silas tighter. “You’re coming with us.”

Written for @drarrymicrofic prompt - "Adoption"

#drarry #drarry microfic #drarrymicrofic #mine #drarry fic #draco malfoy #harry potter #mywriting

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loveofafangirl · 4 years ago

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The Right Thing

[Baron Zemo Masterlist] [Marvel Masterlist]

Pairing: Baron Zemo x Reader (no gender, race, body type given)

Synopsis: As Zemo is sneaking away from his abode in Latvia in search of freedom, he is pulled back when he notices the fight in his home above has become dangerous for those in the streets. *Fluff:Comfort/Care*

Word Count: <1,500

Author’s Note: This is my first time writing Zemo. I don’t know what happened but he is living (and dancing) in my head rent-free so I hope you enjoy this little fic. I typically write third person; second person/reader is not really my area of comfort, so please excuse any mistakes. Not betad. A/N2: This reader becomes “Reader A” on my masterlist. Most fics can be read as this reader with their relationship with Zemo developing (even though they are all mostly one shots)

TW: non-graphic mentions of blood and injuries

He averted his gaze, pulling the collar of his coat up, attempting to blend in with the crowd forming in the street as he slipped out of his Latvian home. He could hear the clash of Vibranium echoing on the floor above. Children gathered in the street below, looking up curiously at the unusual sounds. He wanted to warn them. He knew the threats of fallout that followed from being too near those so-called heroes better than anyone. However, he feared the delay would cost him his freedom and what he must do. He quickened his pace away from them.

The shattering of a large window sounded behind him as the building took a beating from those fighting. He turned at the noise, too late to do anything more than observe the shards of colorful glass rain down on those below.

He watched in horror as the debris struck a few people. You caught his attention when you protected a young boy, which caused you to suffer the most. He admired your resolve. You did what he wasn’t strong enough to do. He turned back the way he was heading, trying to forget the damage he saw.

You were curious about the cacophony of sounds coming from the building. You had heard that some of the Avengers were in town. You had secretly hoped to catch a glimpse of them. Not because you were a fan, more because you wanted to see them—to size them up. You had always been a good judge of character, and you wanted to determine for yourself whether they were essentially good or not; although, you already knew the world was far grayer than most people gave it credit.

The noise above grew louder, and you could tell a battle was ensuing. You watched the number of people growing beside you, more specifically, the number of children enchanted by the unusual sounds. For a moment, fear flashes on your face, remembering Sokovia and the damage left in the wake of the last Avengers fight in the area.

Before you have time to warn them, screams fill the air as glass and bricks begin to fall. You turn quickly, covering a small boy standing beside you, shielding him from the brunt of the crumbling debris. You cry as the glass pierces your skin; you feel blood begin to drip from some of the larger wounds.

“Are you okay?” You ask the boy whose body trembles in your arms.

He nods, his lips quivering. He runs off down the street, following the crowd away from the scene without a word to you.

You drag yourself away, too, hoping to find a quiet spot to nurse your injuries. You’re grateful they’re not worse since you can’t afford to go to the doctor. You turn a corner and sit on an old crate in the quiet alleyway.

You peel off your shirt and turn to pull the first piece of glass from your back. You cry at the pain but continue on, gritting your teeth.

“Let me?” His voice was soft as he held his hands out in front of him, gesturing toward your wounds.

Weary of the new stranger, you pull back defensively.

“Please.” He remained where he stood, not moving on you, giving you space. “I can help. You saved that child. Let me help you now. You won’t be able to reach them all on your own.”

Reluctantly, you nod, allowing him closer.

He slowly moves beside you, keeping his hands up, showing you he meant you no harm.

His touch is softer than you imagined. You don’t even feel his careful fingers removing the glass. Eventually, you work up the nerve to ask, “Are you a doctor?”

“No,” he replies simply and continues his work. “Unfortunately, I have seen more destruction and loss than I would like.”

You sit in silence until he is done. He takes a minute to carefully inspect you, making sure to have removed all of the pieces to prevent infection.

He wipes the soft fabric of his trench coat over your skin, collecting the blood that had spilled.

His movements were so tender and warm that you can’t help but relax at his touch. The pain in your back seems to disappear under his care.

“There. All better.”

“Thank you, truly.”

His lip curls up in the corner. “You were a hero today. Many only delude themselves to be that. Few actually prove themselves to be so on occasion.”

You search his face for more. There is pain there that cut deeper than any shard of glass could. The two of you shift closer. There’s something in his eyes that lets you know his thoughts had drifted away from you. You know that look‚ the look of loss—of longing. It was all too common in the recent months and years.

Before you can step back and thank him once more, his lips brush over yours, slowly. It feels like a dream, and for a moment, you’re afraid to breathe, as it feels like the wind whispering quietly on your lips. His eyes seem brighter at that moment like something had changed. As you decide to give yourself over to it, he pulls away, startled.

“My apologies.” His tone is honest as he steps back. He almost sounds surprised that it had happened.

“It’s okay.” You aren’t in the habit of letting random men kiss you and get away with it, but there was something genuine about him. Your eyes widen, truly focusing on the man in front of you for the first time. His brown eyes are warm and kind. You could tell he had been through a lot, but he had still taken the time to assist you. “It wasn’t you. Well, at least not completely you. It’s been a long time since someone was that…tender to me.” You swallow hard at your confession, unsure of why you had told this stranger that. “Most men want more. Demand it when it is refused.”

His eyes fill with what you think is concern, but he’s hard to read. You wonder if you’re fooling yourself, and it’s a look of pity that you’re trying to rewrite.

He looks around nervously as people rush past the entrance of the alleyway. “I should be going.”

Filled with courage you didn’t know you had, you take a step forward and brush a kiss on his cheek. Your fingers linger on him. “Thank you again.”

“My pleasure.”

His smile, as he begins to move away, left you wanting more—needing to better understand him. You watch him walk toward the busy street. “Wait.”

He turns toward you, his head tilted to the side, waiting for you to continue.

“Why did you help me?”

“It was the right thing to do.” He stated plainly.

You nod thoughtfully. Not many people would have helped you like that without wanting more. Not many people know what the right thing is anymore. You’re not even sure you know all the time. “Can I ask you something else?”

He looks around again as if waiting for someone to find him. He offers a curt nod.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you need a place to lay low for a day?”

His head tilts further to the side, “why would you ask that?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. I guess, you just look like a man who’s running.”

“How very astute of you.” He marches closer again, studying your face more carefully now.

“You can stay with me...just for the night,” you clarify quickly.

“You don’t know me. Why would you make such an offer?”

“It’s the right thing to do." You look down, bashful for a moment, before continuing. "Plus, you helped me; I owe you a debt.” Both were partly the truth, but the third reason you couldn’t bring yourself to admit to him was that you weren’t ready to let him go.

He considers your offer, as he proceeds to attempt to understand you. "One night."

"One night," you agree. You reach for your shirt, attempting to shake out the remaining bits of glass and put it back over you.

"Here." He stops you, pulling his lavish coat off his shoulders, and wraps it around you in one fluid motion.

The gesture catches you off guard, and you let a little noise of surprise slip from your lips.

He doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he isn’t smug about it. He buttons the coat closed, shielding your body from the outside world. Stepping to the side, he extends his arm, a gentle smile on his lips. "After you."

You're not really sure what you're doing or why you made the offer you did, but you do know that for the first time in a long time, there's a smile on your face that you can't seem to wipe away. You touch your fingers to your lips, still mesmerized by the delicate kiss. You step forward, ready for whatever the future has for you. "Follow me."

[Next Part: A Promise]

Permatags: @the-soot-sprite

Zemo tags: @montypythonsholysnail

Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my tag list.

#baron zemo #zemo #the falcon and the winter solder #baron zemo x reader #zemo x reader #zemo x original character #helmut zemo #marvel fan fiction #mcu fan fiction #baron zemo fan fiction #daniel bruhl fan fiction #tfatws

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bakugohoex · 4 years ago

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“i hate your old friends”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: language, kissing, misogyny

word count: 2500+

a/n: just something i was thinking of this morning, it’s probably very tapped but we move

summary: in which bakugo gets a visit from some old friends, making remarks about you and the other girls, a much more angrier bakugo realises that his past friends never grew up in the past months and he as sure as hell wasn’t letting some idiots talk about his girl in that way

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

The late afternoon had brought an unknown chill to the class, you all had decided to go into town after a long training day against each other. Bakugo’s arm was around your shoulder, holding onto your much smaller frame. Your head leaned against his side which fit perfectly into him, talking to Kirishima who was complaining about how injured he felt after being knocked into a wall by you.

“That’s why my girl is so much better than you, shitty hair.” Bakugo mocked laughing with his head tilted backwards. The walk was short enough, the class converging into little groups themselves.

“Your girlfriend is an exact copy of you fighting wise.” Sero remarked remembering how you truly were a sweetheart but when fighting you became a Bakugo clone with anger and shitty talk to back you up with your ferocious quirk.

You turned to the boy pouting, “you don’t need to be so mean.”

Sero laughed along with the other boys a scowl on Bakugo’s face at the implications, “hey, you should be glad you’re a copy of me.”

Giving a disgusted face he rolls his eyes grabbing you closer towards him. His body always felt so warm, soft even but the look of disgust at being dragged along was evident in his scarlet eyes. “We’ll meet back in an hour.” Momo said as everybody began going their own way.

Bakugo and you were the only ones left, he had let go of your shoulder, putting his hand out for you to take. “Where do you want to go shitty woman?” He muttered knowing for the next hour he would just be dragged around.

“I want to buy some new shirts and I need to get some manga’s that have come out…” You began to think what else you needed to get, “oh yeah, I need to get some jewellery as well, we can get you some rings, they’ll look good on you.” You had said the last part touching his fingers with your other hand.

“Whatever.” He grunted dragging you into some stores, helping you pick out new tops and other jewellery, it was all a lot calmer with the boy. He tried to make you buy an ugly red and yellow shirt, but you refused at how gross it looked.

“Suki it literally looks like someone puked up on it.” He had put it across his chest as you were carrying some bags.

“And I’m the one who gets shouted out for being mean.” He grabs the bags in your hands having chucked the ugly shirt to the side and re-grabbed your hand.

“Hey.” You punch his arm as he shakes his head. “There’s rings over there.”

Dragging him along, he follows a lot more unwillingly, you look through the silver rings, and necklaces. “This would look nice on you.” He holds up a ring with a red diamond inside, it was all cheap jewellery, but it did look nice.

“Yeah, I might buy it.” You said attempting to grab it.

He stops you as you tilt your head in confusion, “I’ll get it for you.”

“You…”

He interrupts you, “I want too, it might not be that much but one day I’ll buy you a real diamond.”

You smile at the boy, a grin even at the boy who hadn’t looked back at you, continuing to skim through the rings. But all you could look at was him, how his eyes were fixated on the rings, they were all pretty but on his veiny calloused fingers they’d be immaculate.

“I want these.” He takes out the rings, the silver that would fit nicely across his fingers, he just wanted your approval and your nod indicated that you liked them as well. “Come on, baby.” He takes your hand, grabbing you closer to his body as you stand in line.

You leant your head against his broad chest, his arms around your waist as you held the items. Maybe you had gone overboard with buying clothes, but the look of love Bakugo had when you had worn each item made you want them all. He grabbed the bags from the floor as you went to the counter putting them across. Taking some cash he passed it and took the bags for that as well, he definitely looked like a man being dragged by his girlfriend. Your empty hands as he held the bags and your hand looked like a scene, but he didn’t care if he looked like some sort of simp because it was all for you.

“We only have about 10 minutes lef…” You were interrupted by the sound of two boys, you didn’t recognise and by the look on Bakugo’s face neither did he.

“Bakugo.” They both shouted, both turning around to be met with two boys, one with grey black hair that went up to his shoulders and another with much shorter hair.

Bakugo looked confused as ever and he hated how his time with his girlfriend was being interrupted. “Bakugo it’s us.” The one with much shorter hair said.

Bakugo remained ever more confused, “who are you again?”

The look of confusion between the three boys was evident at how Bakugo had clearly forgotten who they were , “we went to middle school together.” The other boy said.

“Oh yeah, extra #1 and extra #2.” You tried to hide the small laugh at how Bakugo really remembered them as that and even then, probably only remembered having two friends and not who they actually were.

Before you could ask their actual names, you heard the shout of Mina running up to you with a lot of bags. “Mina don’t you think you went a bit overboard.”

“Really me, isn’t your boyfriend the one carrying your 10 bags, some of us aren’t lucky enough to have a man.” She fake wiped a tear before showing you the shirts she had, one catching your eyes, the ugly red and yellow shirt. Maybe it would work on her, maybe.

Momo and Jirio were the next to reach the two of you, “who are they?” Momo questioned pointing at the two boys who were trying to converse with an unamused Bakugo.

“Some extras I used to know in middle school.” Bakugo muttered back.

Momo turned to you and you shrugged looking at what she had gotten, in what seemed like less than a second, the whole class seemed to have come back, and you could see Midoriya eyeing up the two boys. You stood along with the girls unable to show your items at how Bakugo’s grip remained tight on the bags. Midoriya began walking over and you watched the scene take place.

“Kacchan, oh hey guys.” Midoriya, always the sweeties walked with a smile on his face, he’d grown a lot since his crying days and even then, through the tears there was always something strong to him.

“Woah Bakugo, you actually hang out with this loser.” At the sound of the one word you all looked wide eyed. Iida was about to say something but Bakugo spoke up instead.

He looked at you and you nodded, “I was with my girlfriend before you shitty extra’s interrupted us.”

“Woah, which one’s your girlfriend.” They both scoured the group of girls, eyeing each of you up and down like a piece of meat. They reminded you too much of the little grape head who had been trying to sneak into the bags to see if you had bought any lingerie.

“It’s got to be the one with the biggest boobs.” All your eyes flickered red; anger filled through the girls as you wanted to kill them in a flash.

Bakugo seemed pissed, not only had they looked at you with their disgusting eyes, but they were making remarks about his girlfriend's chest size. “We should all get going.”

Midoriya tried to calm down the situation, seeing the fury between the girls, specifically in your eyes but also the anger that looked to boil along Bakugo’s face. “No, why don’t we invite our old friends to UA, show them how an actual pro hero is made.”

You knew what Bakugo was doing, he was pissed. He knew he was better than them, he knew he had it all, the flashy quirk, the looks and even the girl but here he was in front of two random guys and he felt like they didn’t understand how much better he actually was.

“Katsuki, why not leave it fo…” You began to speak but he interrupted you once again.

“We’ve got time and the rest of the day off Y/n, we can show them the dorms, have a little chat.” You knew what the little chat indicated, him beating them to a pulp if it was necessary.

They looked between you and Bakugo and you were worried, it was easy enough to get them through if they came in with other students but the idea that Bakugo might hurt them worried you. You didn’t say anything and Bakugo started walking ahead, the two boys following behind him. It felt like a glimpse into the past, they were never his friends, you could tell, more an entourage who encouraged the behaviour.

Walking over to Midoriya you began asking him questions, “what were they like back in middle school?”

Midoriya hesitated scratching the back of his head, “umm…well I guess…mean really, don’t get me wrong Kacchan is a lot better now mainly because of you but back then he was a bully and those two would follow him around just as they’re doing now.”

Bakugo had noticed you talking to Midoriya, but so fuelled with anger he began to think you’d see his old side, even if little had changed, he’d become better around you, nicer to you. But the two extras following behind him, it pissed him off. “Wow Bakugo, the girls are really hot, you can’t just be sticking to one when you have such a wide range.”

Momo felt disgusted being talked about in this manner and Ururaka tried to bring comfort but being talked about as if you were a flavouring of ice cream was pretty unsettling. “You’ve got to admit it, the one whose around Midoriya is the hottest, why would she be around a loser like him though?”

Bakugo’s knuckles became whiter at the sound of them talking about you, his brows furrowed together and the bags in his hand would snap if he held them anymore. “Katsuki.” You whispered walking quicker to reach him up ahead, the two boys had noticed this action watching at how you stood beside him, even saying his first name. “Are you okay? We don’t have to do this; we can just leave them.”

The entrance of the dorms were near but even then, you could always tell them to fuck off, but Bakugo stayed adamant. Overhearing more of their conversation as your face fell white, “even if Bakugo could get her, she looks like a slut, she’s probably slept with the whole class.”

It was the final straw for the boy, just outside the walls, Bakugo dropped your bags. Giving a small look of apology before grabbing the two boys collars with both his hands and pushing them into the concrete. “If you ever speak about my fucking girlfriend like that ever again, I will kill you.” He lifted the two up before hitting them back onto the concrete.

“Katsuki, leave them.” You tried to calm him down, but he looked even more pissed. Those words they had spoken, you a slut, his girl, his gorgeous girlfriend was worth so much more than they are ever. “They don’t mean anything.”

You grabbed his hands, rubbing circles around his fingers as Kirishima helped the two boys and with Denki sent them off to leave. They seemed scared, pissed even but the look of horror at the class who seemed to acknowledge Bakugo’s strength spoke out more. They had realised Bakugo had grown a lot in these months, that to you he would never act the way he had acted prior.

Kirishima was the one to speak up first as everybody had started walking towards the dorms, you grabbed some bags and Bakugo took the others. He didn’t meet your eye but listened to the red head, “those friends of yours are real dickheads.”

You nodded in agreement, walking through the doors to feel the warmth surround you. “I hate your old friends.”

It was an acknowledgement that Bakugo was glad he felt as well, “they were never my friends, just stupid extras, you’re my friend.” Bakugo admitted to Kirishima who gave a toothy smile.

“Of course I am, we all are.” He smiled before excusing himself seeing how Bakugo needed some sort of comfort.

“Let’s go up to my room.” You put your hand out, it was a hand that had brought so much love and warmth in the months you had been dating. He grabbed it bringing it to his lips, kissing each and every knuckle individually.

Walking to the room in silence, you finally dropped the bags, the boy collapsing onto your bed in a heavy sign. “Kirishima’s right, they are dickheads and you’re worth so much more than them.” You spoke comforting him; he opened his arms out allowing you to rest on his chest, his arms around you.

“I shouldn’t have let them say all that shitty stuff, I didn’t care what they said about the girls or even the brat Deku, but they spoke about you as if you were replaceable as if you were some sort of whore and I just couldn’t stand for that.

It was a confession, something that made the blond vulnerable in your arms, but the soothing pleasure he felt having you in his arms would relieve all the pent-up anger. “They don’t deserve to even have known you baby, you have all of us and I’m never leaving you for anybody. You’re stuck with me.”

He smiled, not a smirk or coy look, a genuine smile at the girl he loved, “i guess, if I have to have you forever.” Giving a small chuckle at the boy, you looked up to his face, lifting yourself up to encase his body between your arms and moving your face to face his own.

“Was this all a ploy to get me into bed?” He gleamed as he lifted his head up to make your lips touch.

The kiss was faster with pace and lust, he still needed to discharge all the anger and what better way than through you. His perfect little girl who’d do anything for him, who loved him and made him, the man who had been incapable of caring for another person, love. He held your arms before flipping you onto your back, his own mouth still attached to you. But now his body trapped yours underneath, as much as he hated having you on top, seeing how perfect you looked on top had become an ingrained image now in his head.

Tongue against tongue, mouth against mouth, hands in hair and others on your bodies. It was love in the purest form, no words only actions and it was the only way for Bakugo to prove that you were his and nobody would ever treat you like that ever again. Oh so help anybody who ever dared to see you as anything other than his strong independent girl.

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jadelynlace · 4 years ago

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ink drinker / Modern Vikings AU, Ivar x F!Reader, Chapter 3

catch up here!

synopsis: Ivar was only meant to be a friend with benefits, but he caught feelings for his older brother’s best friend, and co-worker: you.

pairing: Ivar x F!Reader

author’s note & content warning: mentions of depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts; all pertaining to Ivar, not reader. mentions of therapy, medication and past history of self inflicted & blooming trauma. please read at your own risk. my messages are always, always open for anyone who may ever need a listener. anything in italics indicates a flash back. there are so many fucking feelings in this chapter that I just, am apologizing now. but there’s smut!

✎

It was gloomy the morning you remembered finally catching a glimpse of Ivar’s scars. Adorned and nearly smothered by him in his bed, the small snores from him somewhere draped across your skin, traveling over the plains in warm boulders. You were always drawn to the artwork on his limbs, there was always a smaller detail you missed and found within your next search but through the endless gazes you finally caught sight of the jagged white flesh. The since healed lacerations and your medical knowledge took full force of your mind. They were scars, they were healed scars, but they were scars from the straight edge of a razor blade. With such precision and such aftermath you knew they were the scars with one intent within their making. And they were there to tell you the secret horrors Ivar had not yet spoken—that there was a point where he felt his heart should no longer beat, and his lungs should no longer fill and that his life was meaningless. And that he should end it.

“Can I ask you something?” You finally find yourself mumbling; words floating through the cabin of the parked ambulance on stand by. Hvitserk’s coffee halfway through to his stomach when you peep in such a meek voice he almost coughs the molten liquid back out.

“Yeah, of course, Y/N,”

“How bad is Ivar’s depression?” And you simply ask. No foreword to the speech, no coating of sugar or dusting of fake joy. As blunt as you had been trained to voice the death of a loved one to their family. “I saw the medication in his cabinet, and I saw the scars on his wrists. I know it’s none of my business because he’s your brother, but…” and you can’t find a lie to justify it. Not ready to spill to your partner about the times Ivar had spilled into the condoms with you.

“Bad,” Hvitserk says, and just as bluntly. “He…he tried to kill himself in college. I don’t know if you’ve noticed how he’s never available Saturdays from eleven to noon, but that’s when he has therapy. I had been trying to convince him since high school to see someone, and Floki finally got through to him not too long ago,” He adds. “When I got that phone call from mom that he was in the hospital—I felt like such a failure, Y/N, because I knew it was coming and I did nothing to stop it,” Your hand goes to his wrist for a second, a quick squeeze of added support as you listen.

“Sometimes people refuse what’s good for them, Hvitty,” You start. “You should know that—how many times have we explained to someone why they should go to the hospital with us, but they still refuse?” He finally cracks a smile at that. “Do you think he’s in a better place now, mentally?”

“Either that, or he’s just stable. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Ivar doesn’t like to talk about his feelings…”

“Wow Hvitserk, I had no idea,” You tease, nudging him with both your elbow and sarcastic tone as the voice on the radio fills into the cabin. Your stand by is over and the conversation is dropped as you leave the scene.

There had been instances where you think he might be ready; he might understand that the new gifting of your relationship status might help him to realize you aren’t joking when you offer to listen. You’d listen to Ivar talk until he ran out of things to say if it came to that. More times now the words perched themselves on his lips, ready to spring forwards but he keeps pulling them back. He keeps swallowing them because they’re mixed like bile and stew and far too gross, far too un-human for him to even want to try to speak them to you. And then Ivar kicks himself for drowning these demons who have started to learn to swim and he sees you in your uniform and remembers that nothing phases you. You watch open heart surgery on the television while you eat his mother’s lasagna without a care in the world or a realization that what you were doing is unusual.

“Can I talk to you?” Ivar says bluntly, sitting like a cowered dog in the living room and you’re hardly through his front door when he asks. You can feel how your head rises slowly, a quick snarky word to come back but you bite down on your tongue so roughly you can taste blood as you just look at him. You have never seen a man of his stature try to look so small, try to be so invisible. Worry comes to your face just as quickly as the next breath passes through your diaphragm and you’re on the couch before you even take your shoes off. “It’s messy,” He finally admits. Shallow and dead and you can see the broken boy that has tried to hide himself through the bulked muscles and the tattoos; the glare through his blue eyes and the curved lip.

“Most of what involves the human body is messy, Ivar,” You find yourself saying back, and it sounds pathetic to your ears. It sounds like you’re trying to tell the parent of a dead child that you know how they feel but you don’t. And you never will. But Ivar shedding this skin for you feels like you’re walking through the motions on a call, eyes from crowds of people crawling over and stuck on your every move. And every move that comes next like they’re watching a soap opera with their dinner and they’ve disconnect that what is happening is real, it’s someones life. Just like how you have to disconnect. But in this moment it’s Ivar, and you’re present.

“Like paint,” Ivar mumbles next.

“Yeah, like paint,” You repeat and there’s a smile on your lips for a second. “Ivar? You don’t do that anymore, do you?” You finally find the courage to ask.

“No,” Ivar says as he glances down at his right hand’s wrist, shoving the skin next to the sweatshirt he’s wearing as if rubbing it on the gray cotton will make those scars dissipate. “I get tattoos instead,” That causes a sick button to click in your consciousness as to why Ivar is so heavily covered from his shoulders to his ankles in artwork. How the sting of the needle dawning the creations reminded him of the blade he tried to use to make the mess of thoughts fly away. To make the demons come free through his skin and leave him with peace, if only a moment.

“What helps? What helps you stay present?” You ask. Ivar blinks far too many times, sorting through his brain for the answers as if it’s a container of memorabilia that’s so unorganized even his mother can’t stand the sight of it.

“My brothers help, sometimes,” He says. “I think about how devastated my mom would be. I think about Floki. I think about all of the people in my life who say they want me here even when my mind is trying to tell me I don’t deserve to be.”

“I want you here, Ivar.” You say back and catch how he looks at you when you admit such.

“Why? Have you seen yourself, Y/N? You could have anyone you want and you choose me…” The sentence breaks your heart but you now know the darkness the climbs between his ears. The seed planted so long ago in the depths of brown ground somewhere and you want to pull it from the mental garden. You want to rip the roots right from the soil and burn them so they never have a chance to infest any farther.

“No one makes me feel the way you do, Ivar,” Are the first words from your mouth. “You make me smile, you make me feel important—you remind me how to escape. Even on the worst possible days I can have, you bring me back to reality.” You want to tell him how he’s addicting, how there’s a quality to him you can’t articulate but always keeps you coming back. How you want to keep coming back because both your mind, and your body know it’s safe. How he was someone so mysterious from the outside but past every highly built wall is a man who is just so simply himself. “Because you’re you, Ivar. With the bachelor’s degree in calculus, and the copious amounts of tattoos, and a heart of gold that…you forget that you have,” You finally add. “You’re someone different to the rest of the world, but you’re the real Ivar around me,” You worry that the silence that over takes him is a sign of something else. A sign that you spoke too much, again, and scarred him for more than he could withstand. And then he smiles.

But you can’t understand why—why he smiles for someone like you. The one who let him design your first ever tattoo to his heart’s content. The one who has the same twisted sense of humor. The one who will bicker back and challenge him. The one who gets to see him fall apart between your legs. The one who makes him hard, and has him make those noises. The moans, the heavy panting and rasped groans as he bottoms out and moves through you. The one who gets to watch how his eyes snap shut, and his mouth drops open when you clench around him; how his entire back tenses when he’s close. How he holds you as he fills the rubber with everything he has. The man who loves your nails trailing on his skin. The man who smothers you every night that he spends with you, and every morning when you wake and he’s still there. Making you coffee and cooking you breakfast. How he knows your takeout order from your favorite places, and your work schedule. What food to have at his own apartment, and what movies he should have on demand. The spare clothes he keeps there for when you come over after work, ready to take the ambulance grime from your skin. The pads that are in his bathroom closet, the painkillers. The bottle of “girly white wine” that he won’t admit to drinking too, because it is damn good wine. The man who knows to check in with you during the day, and again to make sure you really are alright. The same man who knows if you don’t text him back, you and Hvitserk have gone knee deep into either a bullshit call, or a tragic one. As shocked as you were that he was listening to what you were saying—and taking it to heart—you were stunned that you hadn’t caught on to how obvious it was that Ivar was in love with you. Even with all of the time you spend crammed between your own thoughts.

“There’s a lot to sort through,” Ivar says again.

“That’s okay, Ivar,” You remind him, your head resting on his shoulder and you feel him shift, move his arm to encompass you as you curl against his side.

“You smell like bleach,” He softly laughs, his nose deep against your hair and you snort, reminded of the decontamination duties you were gifted from the calls today.

“Better than Hvitserk, who got puked on,” You reply. “Shower?” And you can feel Ivar nod against you.

His hands don’t move rapidly to shed your clothing, or to shed his own. There’s a certain calmness through his motions as he waits for the water to warm, slipping your polo from your shoulders, and planting his lips in its wake. Against the base of your neck, your spine, hugging your body flush against his in front of the mirror. Your eyes catch sight of his hands coming back around you, squeezing your breasts and you can’t stop the moan that crawls from your mouth. The traces of artwork on his fingers as his lips move from your neck, to the shell of your ear and graze your pulse point. There’s a push from your backside against his groin, and Ivar growls in response, humming not far after as you feel how his cock hardens the farther his hands roam.

Down your sides, your abdomen, swirling through your folds and dipping between them to catch your juices. Circling against the bundle of nerves he knows so precisely and you moan twice as loudly, and he does too as you moisten to his fingers. Your hands move to grab at him, anywhere they can and you find one hand holding his neck and the other wrapping around his length. Your nails crawl to his hair, pulling the locks down as his fingers take to moving quickly, spreading your womanhood and arousal and you suddenly can’t wait much longer to have him. And he can tell by how you whimper, whisper to him about how you want to feel him inside of you and there’s no fight anywhere on his body to try to deny the tone of your begging. Ivar’s eyes catch yours in the mirror as he finally pushes into you, the cold porcelain sink calming the heat of your skin as he bottoms out and rests his body against yours. There’s a sinful moan that comes through his lips as his eyes bore into yours, with the squeeze from your walls and warmth you spread through him and at first he can’t move, he only wants to savor it. His eyes finally close as he slips away from you, pushing in once more as your body rocks to the sink, singing back to him as the steam from the forgotten shower starts to fog against the mirror. Your name is through his lips as he moves, tattooed hands coming to find yours as he moves your body with each thrust, each timed sensation and you feel your own orgasm approaching. His mouth open on your ear, eyes screwed shut between love and ecstasy as his breath tickles down your face and you’re close now, far closer and far faster than you’ve ever been

“Ivar—” comes your voice and there’s only a hum in response, wordlessly pleading for you to let go because he’s got you, and you know that. Your knuckles white washed against his as you finish, shaking against the sink and you miss how Ivar’s eyes watch you unfold. Studying the pleasure laced in your features.

“Where, baby?” He says quickly, and you shudder as you remember he’s bare now, condom long since forgotten but there are still the small pills you swallow. Still working somewhere you know of, but the accuracy decreases when you take them irregularly—and there’s a big part of your life that calls for that to happen. The alarming lights and loud tones. But you know that you’re safe. With Ivar you’re always safe.

“Inside,” You finally say, his hips stopping to starve off the inevitable as he waits for you to be sure, as he waits to see the seriousness on your face so he knows you aren’t lying in the heat of the moment. And you have to say it again for him to start up again, remind him that you have a safety net. The sensitivity in your cunt melts as he keeps moving and you can tell another orgasm is starting to build. Ivar reaches from your hand quickly and starts his fingers against your clit, quick circles as you hear him get louder, feel his other arm move to crush you and you catch his face as he finishes. The sight searing in your vision and colliding with how he moves with you and your second release rolls through you. His seed spilling and you both moan, his lips still plastered against your ear and you can feel the shake through his whole body as he floats back down. The tense in his thighs pushing you against the counter. There’s a whimper next from him, as he stills, wrapping tightly to hold you there, like it was all a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from.

“I love you,” You hear him say against your skin and you’re right there to repeat it back to him. “You don’t have to mean it,” He then tries and you already know what he’s doing.

“I do, Ivar,” You say back, trying to make him look at you through the mirror but his eyes are still closed. He slowly slips from you, his release sticking between your thighs as he slides away and you’re only then able to turn in his arms. Reaching forwards to pull his mouth against his. “I love you. You and me Ivar, against the world,” You say and he hums at that, a small snicker not far after.

“I like how that sounds, baby,” His smile comes next, dopey and boyish as he finally looks into your eyes and understands that you don’t doubt any part of him. You love it all—the good and the bad and the evil things he may think about himself. You love them all because you know he feels the same way when it comes to you. “The hot water’s going to run out soon,” He mumbles as he holds you. And standing in the shower is not much more different, still wrapped up safely in his arms as you both feel the troubles melt down the drain.

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kuroos-moon · 4 years ago

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Pretty Setters’ Regrets After Breakup

Part Two of ‘Breakup Prank With Pretty Setters Who Actually Want to Break Up’

Pairing: Kageyama x reader, Atsumu x reader, Akaashi x reader

Warnings: more angst & heartbroken setters

Wc: 2.9 k words

Kageyama Tobio || Walk You Home

He regrets everything with all of his being, he simply wants you back, to hold your hand as you walk home and to listen to your steady breaths as you lean on his shoulder and take a nap during lunch. But it isn’t that simple anymore, you were always with some guy from the basketball team.

He would secretly hope that you’d say hi to him or even look his way at least as you both pass by each other in the crowded hallways. He also hoped that he was the one you’d be looking for during lunch, cutely bopping in your head inside their classroom’s doorway, eyes alight as you search for someone— but it wasn’t him, at least not anymore.

One night, in the loud and noisy basketball gym, he wasn’t surprised at all to see you there—loudly cheering for your precious boy, giving him water and a towel every single time he approaches you between breaks. It was an eyesore, his chest hurt, he was in pain. You used to do all those things with him and a lot more, but why in the world did he let you go? He was a dick, that’s why.

With a sigh, he makes his way towards you, hands inside the pockets of his jacket. “Y/n,” he says to get your attention, and he was almost knocked out when your eyes meet his, it’s been too long since your beautiful e/c eyes stared back at his black ones. You look at him in surprise, what does he even want with you?

“Can we talk outside?” He asks and you nod at him. You silently follow him from behind, and when you reached outside you realized it was already dark and you knew you had to go home. “What is it Tobio?” You ask him, it even hurt to say his name, the pain from that night resurfacing.

“I miss you y/n,” he says in a small voice, looking away from you as a faint blush adorned his cheeks- expressing how he feels was never his forte after all. “What?” You ask with wide eyes, you heard him fine but it was quite a surprise, not once have you heard him say that to you.

“I miss you. I miss you so much, I just want to be with you again. Come back to me y/n, I won’t let you down this time,” he says in a soft pleading voice that tugged right at your heartstrings. You wanted that too, in fact, you ached for it; but you’ve already let him go—you’ve met someone you knew was going to treat you better.

“I don’t want you back,” you say, looking away because it wasn’t entirely true. You missed him too, but things can’t go back to the way they were.

He didn’t know what to say, so the both of you merely stand there in silence, preoccupied with your thoughts, before you finally decided you were done waiting for him to say something. “I’m going back inside Tobio, take care of yourself,” you say with a small smile before turning around to walk away.

Without saying anything, he tightly grips your wrist. He doesn’t even know why he did that, he just knew that if you left now, it’d be permanent and just giving it a thought brought him misery he never felt before. “Let me go, Tobio, you’re making this harder for the both of us,” you sigh.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he shamefully admits. “It’s dark, just let me walk you home and I’ll never bother you again,” he says in defeat, his own words clawing at his heart. Before you could even respond, you’re both interrupted by the sound of footsteps getting closer to where the both of you stood.

“Y/n-chaan! You waited!” A cheerful voice calls and his stomach drops when you don’t spare him another glance as you free your wrist from his hold and walk towards the guy. “Let’s go home?” You ask him, and he could only stare at your backs as you both walked away.

He looks down on the ground, tears wetting his cheeks because this was an all too familiar scene. You waiting until after practice, going home together, talking about all sorts of things while holding each other’s hands for warmth, he knew how this all played out. You’re happy, you’re in love. He knew it all too well because he used to be the guy you looked at that way.

Miya Atsumu || Hold Me Again

“Where are you even going?” Osamu asks his twin who was holding your favorite flower in hand. “To finally get my girlfriend back,” he sighs as he paid no mind that his brother was following him. He regrets what he did that day, he knew he was hurting and he knew he was being stupid but he was in denial— he stupidly wanted to believe he made the right choice.

But look at him now, no longer able to lie to himself as he makes his way over to the school grounds, your friends said you were probably there. He was going to win you back, no matter what you say to him— he’ll take it all, he deserves it anyway. He comes to an abrupt stop though when he sees you, Osamu running into his back in the process.

“What?” He asked his brother who was petrified to the spot. Atsumu’s eyes were wide in pure disbelief, how could you be kissing someone else? He couldn’t bring himself to accept it at all, he was confused and puzzled, he was simply incapable of processing what he’s seeing right now.

Wasn’t he the only guy you’ve ever kissed? The only guy you’ve ever loved? So why? He felt so overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions flooding in, his mind was a wreck and his chest felt so tight; but his attention shifts when Samu places a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t wanna state the obvious but I think you’re a little too late,” Samu tells him and he simply shoves his hand away. There’s no such thing as too late, he could force himself to forget the sight of you kissing someone else, and then you’ll both be happy together just like you once were.

You look at him questioningly when he makes his way over to you, you also didn’t fail to notice that he was holding your favorite flower he always got you back then. You sensed this wasn’t going to go well but luckily, the guy you were with tells you he had some stuff to do so he walks away.

“Ah, it’s good that he left,” Atsumu smiles loop-sidedly as he stood in front of you. “What do you want Tsumu?” You ask him and your breath hitches when he suddenly tugs at your hand and brings you against his chest and wraps his arms around you. Your arms were limp at your sides and you were speechless, but his all too familiar warmth, his scent, and the way he hugs you with his chin rested on top of your head— it broke you all over again and you find yourself crying.

He was alarmed, but he doesn’t pull away, he just holds you tighter. He caused this, he caused your heartbreak, but he was going to make it up to you. You cry for quite a while, and the whole time he securely has his arms around you, rubbing your back gently. But as you calmed down, some sense finally found its way to your head, “Let me go Tsumu,” you whisper.

“Y/n I’m so sorry,” he sighs as he kisses the top of your head, still not letting you go. “I was an asshole, I took you for granted, I really love you y/n and I will never stop loving you, so please,” he begs. “Let’s be together again.”

“I’m done loving you,” you sigh, and you felt him tense against you. “I’m happier without you, and I just want to move on.” He didn’t want to believe a word you said but he knew you meant it, his brother was right.

“Let go of me,” you firmly say as you attempt to push at his chest, but he doesn’t budge. He felt numb inside but at the same time he also felt so weighted down, like he was carrying something too heavy, maybe it was his guilt or the pain of losing you— he doesn’t care, he just felt so desperate.

“Hug me back y/n,” he pleads. “Please, just hold me like you used to, I’ll be happy with it even if it’s for the last time, I swear,” he begs, losing sense of his pride.

“Well your happiness really isn’t anything of my concern anymore,” you snap before succeeding on pushing him away. He just looks at you with wide eyes, surprised that you actually pushed him off. He searches your eyes for any hint of love and affection left for him, but there was none and it broke him. “Goodbye Tsumu,” you say in a quiet voice before walking away.

Somehow, he found himself on his knees, the events a while ago still hasn’t sunk in; but he gets up after a while, his mind blank as he makes it through the day. He found it ironic that he was never hugged back, just as how he didn’t hug you back that day you hang onto him. Oh, what he’d give for just another one of your warm embrace and a glimpse of the loving look in your eyes instead of the cold ones that looked back at him earlier.

If only he knew how important you were to him, if only it didn’t take for you to leave before he realized it.

Akaashi Keiji || Let You Go

It has been months since that day, and little by little, you started becoming friends again, that’s where you both started at after all. He was happy for you, you were genuinely happy and you’ve move on with someone else; but what was he gonna do with the regret he felt and the realization that he did love you in a romantic way?

Akaashi had rarely ever been selfish in his life, and he was much more selfless when it came to you. So he embraced the pain and accepted the reality that he was the one that let you go, and he was the one who gets to suffer in the end. He simply did everything he could to be someplace else when you were with your new boyfriend, but in occasions he couldn’t escape, he’d smile a bittersweet smile as he sees you being so affectionate with someone that was no longer him.

Class has just ended, and he didn’t have practice. He was extra gloomy today because he had to sit across the both of you all through lunch, he envied how he could hold your hand and kiss your cheek but he also beat himself up for it, considering his feelings invalid.

He sees you as he exits the school’s doors, you were sitting down on the top stair and he can’t help but smile to himself. You were so pretty, your h/c hair has also gone a bit longer, for a moment he remembers that one time in your bedroom— he was behind you, brushing your hair as you told him about your day. Dismissing such a depressing memory, he stands beside you and you look up at him.

“Kaashi!” You say with a wide smile and he smiles back at you, ruffling your hair. “Come, sit down, we haven’t talked in a while,” you tell him. So he sat down beside you, knowing all too well that he was gonna be in much more pain later on but he simply can’t pass up the opportunity to be with you.

“Are you okay?” You ask him, the sunset illuminating the side of your face in a golden red glow— it made his heart flutter, his breath hitch. You were too breathtaking. He didn’t mean to be selfish at all, he wasn’t thinking when he did it; when he suddenly leaned in towards you, gently stroking your cheek with the back of his hand before finally kissing you.

It was all short-lived as he snapped out of his trance and pulls away. “Y/n, I- I’m sorry, I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking,” he stutters, feeling so guilty at what he had just done. To his surprise though, you lean your head on his shoulder and he stiffens.

“I’m sorry, allow me to be like this. I just can’t look at you right now Keiji,” you mutter and though you can’t see him, he merely nods. “If I do, I might just come running back to you, we don’t want that, do we?” You say with a chuckle, and a surge of hope bubbled up within him.

“Can we really not go back to the way we used to be, y/n?” He asks, ignoring the guilt he felt inside because he knew this was such a selfish thing to want and ask for. “I loved you Kaashi, and maybe I still do,” you sigh. “But I’m happy with him, and I love him more than anyone else,” you confess and he just stares ahead and lets out a long breath.

“Is everything okay Kaashi?” You ask, pulling away to look at him. This time, he was the one to lean his head on your shoulder, not wanting you to look at him with such a sad face. “Let’s stay like this for a second,” he mumbles. “Akaashi, stop, it’s unfair for him. You’re making my heart flutter,” you shamefully admit.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he closes his eyes, he can’t bear with the pain in his chest anymore but he still wanted to be with you just a little longer. “Just for a while y/n,” he pleads. “And after that I promise to let you go,” he softly says before silent tears rolled down his cheeks, somehow unfairly escaping his closed eyes even though he closed them as an effort to avoid them from falling.

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! headcanons #hq #kageyama tobio #akaashi keiji #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #kageyama x reader #akaashi x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu!! angst #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #hq scenarios

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21burritoseavey · 3 years ago

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Going Public (d.s.)

a/n: Hey! I'm sorry this took so long, but here you go, really hope you enjoy this! also i guess you could say secret relationship is pt.1, hollywood fix is pt.2 and this is pt.3 but you can read them on their own:) sorry if this is a little unedited! and...bad lol

Summary: Daniel and Y/n have a little movie night and do the TikTok trend of “I hate all me, but when he loves me I feel like...” and post it, confirming their relationship.

Y/n always stayed over at Daniel’s place at the end of the school week. After her shift at work, she’d head over to his house so they could spend the evening together. Sometimes when Christian wasn’t around or Daniel was home alone, she’d just let herself in and greet Kobe as he ran towards the front door, and she’d see Daniel in the studio or in his bedroom. They’d cuddle under the blankets and have the TV on in the background, gentle chatter flowing between them. Those nights were easily Y/n’s favourite part of the week.

One Friday night, Y/n had plodded to the front door. Her muddy footsteps followed her to the welcome mat, testament to the slight chill and light autumn drizzle outside. She wiped the souls of her boots against the grimy, brown strings with her hand gripped onto the door handle and was surprised to see the house strangely clean and empty when the door squealed open. If she didn’t know any better, she’d have thought no one was home, but Daniel’s text fifteen minutes earlier told her otherwise. I mean, even the gentle pitter patter of Kobe’s paws didn’t fill her ears when she kicked off her shoes.

“Daniel,” She called softly, brushing her fingers against the marble countertop. Y/n walked over to the kitchen cabinets and started rummaging around for a snack. Her movements were comfortable and unashamed, the sight of her had the corners of Daniel’s lips instantly turning upwards into a smile. He had emerged from his bedroom silently, having just gotten off a phone call with his manager, Randy.

His footsteps creaking along the floorboards had Y/n snapping her head to the sound and she jumped back in fear as she saw him. “Oh God,” She breathed, pressing a hand to her heart in momentary embarrassment. The packet of chips in the cabinet toppled over the edge and Y/n spun back around. “Okay, this house is haunted or something.” She laughed. Daniel chuckled quietly and walked over to the counter. One mug of hot chocolate sat on the tabletop, steaming, and swirling with a sweet aroma. “Oh, is that for me?” She asked Daniel, walking towards him to drape her arms across his waist and give him a hug.

He let a gentle laugh fall from his lips. “No, it’s for Kobe over there,” he joked, looking over Y/n to gaze at the small puppy curled up on the blanketed sectional sofa. Y/n looked over her shoulder to follow gaze, noticing more than just Kobe in the corner. The living room was illuminated with warm light by two small lamps on opposite sides of the couch. Blankets and pillows were brought in from Daniel’s bedroom to scatter throughout the little space and a bowl of caramel popcorn - Y/n’s favourite - sat amongst a plethora of snacks.

Y/n walked towards the couch, letting out a quiet, “what’s all this for?” before she faced Daniel again.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I just thought it would be nice since it’s cold and rainy tonight.” He set the hot cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table.

“Well, thank you, Daniel.” Y/n tugged a corner of her lips into a shy smirk and padded towards him. Daniel willingly wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed his body against hers, the feeling of her sinking into his soothing embrace had smeared a smile onto his face.

“Do you want to pick the movie?” He asked, his whisper muffled by her hair.

“Yeah,” Y/n stepped back gently and looked across the room to the TV remote.

Daniel chuckled, “m’kay, but if you spend twenty hours trying to pick a movie…” He trailed off, picking up the TV remote with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, that was one time.” She defended, snatching it from him.

----

“What’s with the photo?” She smiled towards the camera behind a sip of her drink. The movie Y/n chose was Pride and Prejudice, and she was proud to tell Daniel it only took her five minutes to pick it out. Ribbons of yellowy light shone over their faces as they slumped back on the couch, blankets wrapped around them, and a bowl of popcorn shared between them in the middle.

“Just ‘because I love you,” Daniel uttered, biting his upturned lips. He dropped his phone to his lap.

“Y’ sure”

“Okay, I have to tell you something,” He beamed, eyes ablaze with zest and heart beating with excitement. He set her face in his palms and kept his calm smile, he watched her eyes lit up at his statement. Y/n drew back his hands and dropped them to her lap with his fingers entwined with hers. She shuffled to devote her attention to him completely.

“What is it?”

Daniel giggled and leaned in for another kiss. “Something...” He glanced everywhere but her, knowing well that he said something that would absolutely drive her crazy.

“Stop being so mysterious,” Y/n huffed, dropping his hand to cross her arms.

“Okay fine,” He chuckled breathily. “I think we should tell my fans we're in a relationship.” He said, shifting his gaze to rest on Y/n while she processed the news.

“Yo-you mean like-” Y/n gaped, “like really tell them. Like say: we are in a relationship?”

Daniel nodded swiftly. “Yeah,”

“How should we tell them?” Y/n asked, reaching across the couch to retrieve her phone. Kobe shifted sleepily in her lap and stretched his paws, tickling her arms and she giggled at the feeling. “Kobers, Dani’s fans are going to know about me.” She cooed, scratching his soft stomach lightly.

“I was thinking I could just post a-” “Oh! Oh! Oh! Should we make a TikTok?!” She exclaimed, answering her own question before he could even comprehend her sudden excitement. “Yes! We really should make a TikTok!” Her fingers led her to her TikTok app, and she scrolled through sounds to find out what video they should make. Random sounds filled the quiet space every once and a while as she sampled the audio. She wanted it to be perfect. The most perfect announcement video there ever was, and since the young couple had thought about this moment for a long time, Y/n already had a few ideas brewing in her mind. “Look Daniel, this one’s cute, right?” She said through a wide smile, facing the dimly lit screen towards him. A little montage of another couple came into view as Daniel glanced up from his own phone.

“Yeah, that’s cute.” He shrugged, plopping a fistful of popcorn into his mouth.

“We have to be that cute.” Y/n spoke, “You have to be that cute,” She bit back her smile, watching Daniel’s head whip towards her in fake offence out of the corner of her eye.

“Hey! I’m always cute!” ----

By the time Daniel and Y/n had finally finished filming their TikTok, the natural light outside had diminished completely, leaving the dark sky aglow with mere city lights in the distance. Daniel lifted himself off the couch towards the doors and windows to draw the blinds. Y/n watched him tiredly from the couch, eyes drifting to his ocean blue eyes and brunette hair dusted with blonde and-

“What are you thinking about, baby?” Daniel asked through the quiet room, kneeled beside her on the floor. He leaned back on the edge of the couch and rested his head on her lap. Y/n giggled, watching his eyes drift to the ceiling before meeting hers. She leaned in and giggled onto his lips before they shared a quick kiss. Daniel groaned tiredly as he lifted himself up onto the couch again, hands habitually falling into Y/n’s and head resting on her shoulder as he gazed at the blank screen. The movie had been abandoned ever since Y/n had the idea of making a TikTok - paused on a sweet scene of two lovers together, just like the young couple on the couch in real life.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Daniel.” Y/n asked again, glimpsing up from her phone to really see if, he was sure. The TikTok remained in the drafts of Daniel’s individual account.

“A hundred percent, Y/n”

“I’m scared about what they’re going to say.” She frowned.

“Don’t even worry about it,” He consoled her.

“Okay,” She gave a half smile, although the slight fear lingered in her voice.

“Let’s just watch our movie and check it out later,” Daniel pressed the post button, sending Y/n into a fit of nervous giggles at how easy it was for him. Her eyes lingered on the video for a few long seconds, but Daniel whisked gaze away from the screen to meet him. Endearing and relaxed. He leaned in and bumped their noses lightly before letting their lips meet for a soft kiss. Y/n pulled him closer, tugging the blanket draped across his back higher up so it could envelop them both. Daniel’s giggles pulled them out of their lingering kisses and pressed one strong kiss to her lips again before continuing the movie. For a while, it was just them, together. In Daniel’s living room. Lights off. Lamps on and a movie playing quietly across from them. And for the first time in a long time, Y/n didn’t let the external opinions of everyone else get to her.

taglist: @chilling-seavey @marthagryffindor @randomlimelightxxx @hiya-its-amber @the-girl-who-cried-wolf @hackerXavery @jonahlovescoffee @onlyangelavery

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magickastiel · 3 years ago

Text

Somewhere Off in the Dark (Dean/Cas) 7.3k

It’s easier to be with Cas in the dark.

Dean hasn’t got to see those eyes at full brightness, boring into his soul. Instead he can just talk and not worry about the embarrassment scalding his face or the discomfort twisting his spine.

It’s dangerous being with Cas in the dark.

Gift for @jackttwist for the @starrynightdeancas gift exchange! ✨

mild warning for a scene during early s13 so dean is very self-destructive and doesn't care about his own life. It's along the same times as the show but if you're triggered by that, skip from: 'Dean is sick' and pick up again at: "The Empty?" Dean whispers, feeling cold' for the cute stuff!

a03 or keep reading 💖

Dean will never get used to waking up and seeing eyes peering back at him.

He starts awake, half-reaching for the gun tucked under his pillow before he can pull himself back. He glares and throws the blanket off his lap, immediately regretting it when the cool night air hits his legs.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel says, voice dry and face impassive. He watches without shame as Dean clambers to his feet, eyes skimming over his legs, his rucked up t-shirt, the scowl on his face.

A chill shoots up Dean’s back and, not for the first time, he wonders how many pairs of eyes Castiel really has. He walks from the couch to Bobby’s kitchen for something to do with his overly observed body.

“I’ll shoot you one day.” He says over his shoulder. “That’ll show you.”

“What will that show me?”

Dean wants to be annoyed but instead he snorts with laughter. Castiel seems to have this affect on him.

“Nothin’. Forget it.” His eyes itch with fatigue and he rubs them with the back of his hand. “You want coffee?”

“I have no need for - ”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Dean turns to lean his back against the counter and almost jumps again when he sees that Castiel has silently followed him to the kitchen. He can count the number of worn tiles between his bare feet and Castiel’s shoes. He has to swallow before he speaks. “Didn’t ask if you needed it. You want some?”

The angel’s eyes travel over him again and Dean feels like an ant under the hot glare of a magnifying glass on a sticky summer’s day.

“Yes.” He says eventually.

“Right.” Coffee.

He potters about, feeling eyes on him wherever he goes. He doesn’t let his hand shake.

By the time they’re sat back on the couch with two half-empty mugs, Dean’s body has loosened as he becomes accustom to the silent scrutiny. There’s no looming threat and no harsh judgement because Castiel is as he always is – curious. Every movement is apparently fascinating to him, every sentence Dean says is worth contemplation and every sip of coffee is a new experience to mull over. Again, Dean is surprised how little it annoys him.

“You remember the first time you woke me up here?” He says after a long pause. “You threatened to throw me back into Hell. Real nice of you.”

In the dark, Dean has to rely on Castiel’s voice to judge his expression. “Yes.” The word sounds solemn, like he’s disappointed that Dean remembers it. “I did say that.”

Dean takes the last glug of coffee to think. There’s an obvious question that’s been lingering between them for the last ten minutes.

“Why did you come here tonight?” He asks and doesn’t know what he wants the answer to be.

Even though he can’t see him properly, he’s sure Castiel is staring straight at him even as he ponders his answer. It’s another reminder of how alien he is. He doesn’t have that need to look away, to hide his face as his mind races to find the right way to say the right thing. Dean envies him that.

“I wanted to apologise.”

“Apologise for what?”

When he speaks again, his tone is unnervingly soft. “Your friends.”

Ellen. Jo.

Dean’s heart clenches and he feels the urge to move, unable to sit still in his grief. His knee knocks against Castiel’s solid thigh but the angel stays perfectly still.

“I should have been with them.” Castiel continues his voice low and smooth. If it wasn’t for the subject matter, Dean might think he was being read to sleep like a troubled child. “I should have protected them.”

“Not your fault.” He mumbles and means it. It never occurred to him to blame Castiel. He’s been too busy blaming himself to consider anyone else’s actions.

“I arrived with them and I should have stayed with them. I let them down. I – I let...”

Castiel is hesitating. This is new behaviour for him and it’s dangerously human.

“I...let you down.”

Dean feels like he’s been doused with cold water. He doesn’t blame Castiel for not wanting to say that. It’s so ridiculously untrue and so goddamn weird to say that he let Dean down specifically. It’s too much focus on him, on them.

“You didn’t let us down, man.”

“You are being kind.” Castiel says in neither admonishment nor gratefulness. He just states it like it’s a sure fact. “Thank you. But I shall endeavour to make it up to you.”

“Oh.” Dean says feeling dumb and strangely warm. “Right. But like I said, nothing to make up for.”

“You are not sleeping.”

He almost gets whiplash at the sudden change in conversation. “Uh well, no, not right now. You did wake me up.”

“Allow me to clarify: you do not sleep enough.” The still air is disturbed by the rustle of his trenchcoat and the sharp clack of the ceramic mug being placed on the table.

“Kind of a lot going on, dude.” Dean says, trying to protest as Castiel pulls his mug from his hands and places that on the table too. “Uhhh, what are you doing?”

“Lie back down.”

Dean does as he’s told but frowns too. He tells himself it’s a good compromise. “You gonna stare at me until I fall asleep or something?”

“I could but I believe that will be unnecessary.” He stands and looms over the couch. He looks intimidating from down here – tall as a skyscraper and dark as a void. Dean clutches at the blanket for something tangible to hold on to. “Your body still hasn’t recovered from the physical and emotional trauma of the last week. And when you sleep you have nightmares thus reliving the pain. You must rest completely to correct this and regain your full strength.”

Dean snorts. “Oh, yeah? So what you gonna do – zap me to sleep?”

“Yes.”

“Wait – ”

Two fingertips brush his forehead and he sleeps.

Dean can’t stop looking.

Even as Benny regales them with some batshit story, even as he eats his handful of berries, even as he wanders the perimeter of their little camp.

Cas is here.

Like, actually here.

He hadn’t let himself lose hope but it had been slipping. Just around the corner, he’d think. One more fight and he’ll be there. On and on.

And then there he was, alive and washing his face like he’d just woken up after a bad night’s sleep at a motel.

Dean’s eyes flit over to him again. He isn’t used to it yet. They only found him a few hours ago. Man’s gotta bask in having his best friend back.

“Dean? You hear me?”

He sighs and turns back to Benny who, to his credit, doesn’t even look annoyed. “Yeah, yeah. Sleeping, shifts, food.”

He snorts. “Got the gist, at least.”

“I’ll take the first shift. Gotta...” He glances over his shoulder at Cas again. He isn’t quite sure what he’s got to do, but he knows it involves Cas.

“Like that, huh?” Benny says, a slight smirk on his face.

“What do you mean?” He mutters, grabbing a stick and poking the meagre fire for something else to focus on.

“Nothin’, nothin’.” He waves a hand, but the smirk hasn’t left his face. “Just startin’ to feel like a third wheel, is all.”

Dean’s face heats unpleasantly. He knows it’s not like that but he can’t quite bring himself to argue about it. Instead he stares into the fire as Benny wanders off to rest. He feels horribly cracked open. He’s gotten used to his hardened shell – Purgatory took all the resilience he had and coated him in it. But the first sight of Cas had split him apart and now his usual racing thoughts have come rushing back with the force of a ten tonne truck. He almost wishes he could go back to how he was yesterday, pure focus and drive.

Now he feels small next to the fire, between a vampire and an angel.

He’s just one slightly shitty human lost in Purgatory.

“Dean?”

Cas joins him suddenly, with that eerie angelic stealth. Dean only just manages to stop himself from jumping like a kid. Cas sits on his left, watching him intently.

Everything is kind of colourless in Purgatory. It drove Dean insane for the first few days; everything seemed slightly off and unreal. Then he got used to it – the lacklustre trees, the blank water, even the fire looked kind of grey.

Cas’ eyes are still very blue.

It’s the first real colour he’s seen in months.

“Dean?” He says again, sounding slightly alarmed. “Are you alright?”

He clears his throat. “Yeah. Just...weird to see you, I guess.”

“Oh.” Cas blinks. “I...I suppose it is strange to see you too. I have seen you from a distance a few times. If several leviathans caught me at once, it would take me a while to kill all of them. Each time, I was very aware of how you were likely closing in on my location. Then I would catch a glimpse of you through the trees and that was when I knew I needed to get ahead again.”

“You what?!” Dean hisses, only keeping his voice down for Benny’s sake. “You mean you’ve been in spitting distance before and you didn’t say anything?! You could have...” He thinks about the sleepless nights, the desperation to find him alive. “I was afraid you were dead.”

“I am sorry, Dean.” Cas squints and tilts his head a little. Dean feels his anger dissipate. “I wanted nothing more than to join you. Together, I am sure we can conquer almost anything.” Right. That’s a total normal thing to say to someone. “But I was the one who released the leviathans. It was my responsibility to deal with them. If they got to you I would never be able to forgive myself.” His gaze drops to the fire. “I will never be able to forgive myself.”

“Don’t.” Frustration pushes at Dean’s skull, making his eyes water. “Yeah, ok. You did something pretty dumb. But you did it because you were trying to save the world. I should have...if I hadn’t been so damn caught up with other stuff. If I had just been there more - ”

“Dean, you cannot blame yourself.” Cas sounds genuinely horrified at the thought. “It was my decision and the consequences are mine to bear. All I can hope is that you can find a way to forgive me. And Sam - ”

“Sam’s good now.” Dean says quickly, half to reassure himself. “You screwed him over, not gonna lie. But at least you fixed it.”

Neither of them speaks for a while. Cas seems intent on watching the fire while Dean’s shell shatters a little more. Had he really had forgiven Cas just like that? He thought of what John Winchester would say about that. To say Cas had ‘screwed Sam over’ was a bit of an understatement. He had totally destroyed his mind. And here Dean was, casually forgiving him like it was no big thing.

It isn’t just words either. Dean really doesn’t feel any animosity towards the angel at all. Look out for Sammy. That had been drummed into him since he was four years old, when he carried his baby brother from their burning home. He still lives by it too. So it’s unnerving to forgive someone who hurt Sam. He’d been angry at first, sure. Upset, if he was being honest. He’d been hit with the double whammy of worrying about Sam and being betrayed by the only real friend he’d ever had. The only one that sticks around.

Well, that isn’t quite true. Cas always leaves but he always comes back too.

Now Dean just feels happy. And tired. He’s pretty tired too.

“You should sleep.” Cas says, softly. “I can watch over you.”

His knee jerk reaction is to tell the angel that’s weird. In any other situation it is weird. But here, he really does need someone looking out for him.

“’Angels are watching over you.’” He says, thinking of soft blonde hair and a warm smile. He swallows around the lump in his throat. “That’s what my mom used to tell me every night when she put me to bed. Guess that’s true tonight, huh?”

“I suspect she did not imagine that to come true in Purgatory while you are travelling with an angel and vampire, but the sentiment is lovely nonetheless.”

Dean can’t stop himself from grinning as he settles down, wedging his jacket under his head like Benny did.

“Do we have to travel with the vampire?” Cas grumbles beside him, sounding wonderfully like himself.

Dean raises his eyebrows against his makeshift pillow. “What, you don’t like Benny?”

“I don’t like the way he acts.” His eyes narrow, glaring at the sleeping figure the other side of the fire. “He looks at you like he wants to...consume you.”

Dean laughs and, for a moment, the clearing rings with it. “Dude trust me: Benny ain’t gonna eat me. He’s got plenty of food around.”

But Cas still looks unsure. “That’s not...” He sighs. “Yes, I suppose you are right.” He gives Dean one of those rare, small smiles as he looks down at him. “Sleep.”

Dean does as he’s told for once, letting his aching limbs stretch out next to the warmth of the fire and under his best friend’s watchful gaze.

But after a few moments, he can’t resist another look, even as his body succumbs.

“You can sleep, Dean.” Cas says, almost chastising. “I’ll watch over you.”

“Ain’t that. Just...” His tongue feels too big for his mouth and his heart feels too heavy for his chest. “Just checkin’ you’re still there, is all.”

As he falls asleep, he hears his voice one more time.

“I’m still here. I’ll always be here.”

When Dean asks Cas where he can drop him, the ex-angel avoids his eyes and says something about being ‘between places’.

Yeah, Dean’s the worst friend in the world.

He drives them to a motel because that’s the least he can do.

He mentally berates himself on the drive there while Cas is quiet in the passenger seat. This really is the least he can do. He should be driving Cas home to the Bunker, buying him dinner on the way back. He should be apologising for throwing him out. But if he starts apologising that means he’s got to start explainingand that’s something he really can’t do. Not yet.

So he drives his awesome best friend to a shitty motel and books them a shitty twin room and orders a shitty pizza.

Once they’ve eaten in relative silence, Cas perches on the edge of one of the beds staring wide-eyed and blank faced at the television. Unfortunately, it’s not Dr. Sexy. Just some grim drama about murders and family betrayals. Like they don’t have enough of that to deal with already.

He looks small and Dean has the sudden urge to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“Dude,” He says, busying his restless hands with clearing up the greasy napkins and tossing them into the bin. “Don’t sit that close to the TV. You’ll get square eyes.”

For what seems like the first time in an hour, Cas blinks. “Is that possible?”

Dean chuckles and settles back on his bed, kicking off his boots with a groan. “Nah, just somethin’ parents tell their kids. Dad used to say it to me all the time.” His smile slips as John Winchester’s dark eyes narrow in his mind. “Used to watch so much Scooby Doo it drove him mad. ‘Turn that TV off and do something useful! Ain’t got no use for a son with square eyes!’” He fidgets on the bed, fighting the urge to pull a blanket over himself.

“Oh.” Cas half turns away from the TV. “That seems unnecessarily harsh.”

Dean shrugs. “Just watched it when he was gone.” Had plenty of time.

“I assume you had plenty of time to watch it then.”

Huh.

Dean’s stunned into silence long enough for Cas to look over. Something on his face makes Cas look guilty.

“I’m sorry. It isn’t my place to comment on your father.”

“No.” Dean says but isn’t sure if he means it.

Cas stands, flicking off the TV and sitting against the pillows of his own bed. The quiet makes Dean realise that he’s alone with Cas in a motel room. He isn’t sure why it sets his teeth on edge – it shouldn’t be any different from sharing with Sam. So why does he feel a bit too hot under his shirt?

“Family is a complicated thing.” Cas continues, oblivious to Dean’s discomfort.

“Y-yeah.” The word sticks in his throat. “You miss ‘em? The other angels?”

In the soft lamplight, Cas’ profile looks striking as he thinks. “Yes and no. I miss the simplicity of being with them.”

“Simplicity? Can’t imagine Heaven ever being simple.”

“Oh, it’s not, not really. But I knew my place and I knew what I required to do. And I was known. Understood.”

“You think I don’t get you?” Dean asks before he can stop himself.

Cas leans back further, turning slightly to rest his head on the pillow. His eyes look almost velvet in the soft light. Dean finds himself turning a little too, cheek brushing the cotton pillowcase.

“I think you understand me more than I could have ever hoped for.”

“Oh.” Dean feels struck dumb and something inside his chest clunks. “That...that’s what friends are for, I guess.”

“Yes.” Cas smiles, gummy and a little crooked where he’s resting his head. “It is.”

Dean rolls onto his back, heart hammering as he stares at the ceiling. Cas’ eyes are still on him – he knows the feel of that gaze like a dangerous coastline knows the relentless glare of a lighthouse.

The silence drags and his fingers itch to switch the TV back on.

“Coulda got you your own room.” He mutters, almost to himself. Least I could do. “Give you some privacy.”

“No.” Cas says firmly. “This is...this is good. Thank you.” He sounds so earnestly grateful Dean almost cringes in shame. “I spend quite a lot of time alone. It’s good to have company.”

“Right, yeah. Of course.”

“But if you’d rather - ”

“Nah, it’s all good.” He says and is surprised that he means it. He’s counted the stains on the ceiling three times and his heart is slowing to its normal pace again.

“Dean?” Cas sounds a little slower now. “Tell me something?”

“Uh, sure. What?”

“Anything.”

“Like a story?” Dean frowns and looks over to see Cas’ eyes are already half-closed.

“Hmm.”

“Uhhh...” He flounders. He hasn’t done this since he was a kid, making up stories for Sammy to fall asleep to in the back of the Impala. “Ok. Once, this guy woke up. Let’s call him...Dan. He woke up and realised he was underground, being suffocated. So after he panicked a bit, he dug his way out and almost goddamn blinded himself ‘cos it was a sunny day, right? He walks to this old gas station and keeps thinking ‘how am I alive?’ ‘cos he’s pretty sure he was dead.”

He knows he isn’t telling it well but it doesn’t seem to matter because Cas hums again, sounding pleased this time. Dean feels his own body melting like hot wax into the bed as he watches Cas’ eyes close.

“Then he looks in the mirror and sees he’s got this mark on his shoulder. A handprint. So he’s like, ‘who the hell left that there?’”

Cas chuckles, mouth thick with sleep. Dean pulls a blanket over himself and wraps an arm around one of the pillows.

“Turns out, his best friend left it there. But here’s the thing: he ain’t met him yet.”

Dean smiles as Cas’ breathing gets even and heavy. He watches for a moment and squeezes the pillow tight against his chest before turning out the light.

He dreams of Hell but when he wakes, all he can remember are dark wings beating hard against fire.

Dean is sick.

He throws up until his body is shaking, until his throat is raw and his eyes are bloodshot.

He slumps down next to the toilet and takes in breaths he doesn’t really want. The cool title presses against his burning back and he closes eyes. Which is a horrific mistake.

A beam of light streaming from his mouth, from his eyes, from the hole in his chest -

His body jerks and his foot knocks the empty whiskey bottle with a jarring clatter. Yeah, that’s rule one, buddy. Don’t close your fucking eyes.

He stands on shaking legs, picks up the empty bottle and goes back to his room where he’s stashed another. Thankfully, he doesn’t pass Sam on the way. He can’t deal with the pity, he can’t deal with the logic and he can’t deal with his stupid, childish hope. Mom’s gone. Ain’t no sense in pretending otherwise. Gone just like –

Nope.

He opens his door and chucks the empty bottle down again, letting it roll off to some dark corner of his room. He scoops up the next one and cracks open the top, taking a deep swig. It hits him hard; neat alcohol on his turbulent stomach makes him gag but he perseveres. He’s exhausted but he can’t close his eyes.

So he’s aiming for blackout.

It can’t be too far away – he can’t remember when he last ate. He’s aching all over, boiling hot and he’s...

Sobbing.

“You...you son of a bitch...” He sways a little when he looks up at the dingy ceiling but he’s trying to talk beyond that. “Whydya hav’ ta...fuck!” He rushes over to the sink and throws up the whiskey he just swallowed. It burns even more on the way up.

Once he’s stopped retching, he tries to take another swig but his body won’t let him do it. He collapses onto the floor again, legs too weak to stand. The bottle clangs in the sink, probably spilling all of its contents down the drain. He makes a weak sound of protest but doesn’t move.

His eyes feel tight and dry against the salty wetness on his face. He wonders how far above him Heaven is. If he’s even there. Something tells him he isn’t. If he is, surely he would have found a way to get back.

Dean whispers his name, a private prayer of desperation. There’s still some dumb part of him that thinks he might just appear again, slightly dishevelled and annoyed at Dean for not looking after himself.

But he doesn’t.

The silence stretches and Dean contemplates hitting his head on the floor. If he does it hard enough, there’s a good chance it’ll knock him out for a while, maybe a few days if he’s lucky.

He tries to lift his head but it’s too heavy. A wave of panic rushes over him as he starts to feel paralyzed – trapped in his own body and smothered with grief.

“Cas?” He chokes, a fresh wave of tears rushing down his face. “You...you’re meant to come back. You always come back. You gotta...you gotta come back, man. Please. Please, I can’t - ”

I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to. Don’t make me.

With all his might, he rolls onto his side before he’s suffocated completely. His head spins as he turns, his stomach churns and his eyes roll back. When he finally passes out, he doesn’t see anything at all.

“The Empty?” Dean whispers, feeling cold.

“Yes.” Cas whispers back. He’s only whispering because Dean is. Dean feels completely normal about that and not giddy at all.

“What was it like?” He doesn’t want to know but has to ask all the same.

“Empty.” Cas says, deadpan.

“Oh ok, smartass – thanks for clearing that up!” Dean huffs good-naturedly and has to grip the railing until his knuckles turn white. He’s got so much happiness in him his body doesn’t know what to do with it. He feels energy thrumming through him and he has the sudden urge to start sprinting and laughing.

They’ve stopped at a motel on the drive back from Colorado to the Bunker. Sam is already asleep, hair all splayed out on his pillow like Sleeping Beauty. But Dean...well, Dean was dead for a couple of minutes today so he figures he’ll enjoy being alive for a bit longer. He leans on the rail overlooking the parking lot and lets the cool air fill his lungs.

He’s got company.

“How is Jack?” Cas asks, obviously expecting a better answer than the quick reassurance they’d given him earlier.

“He’s doing ok. I was...” Dean trails off, his good mood momentarily dipping into guilt. “I was kind of a dick to him at first - ”

“What a surprise.” Cas sighs, world-weary and affectionately irritated. Dean wants to make him sound like that every day.

“- but we’ve gotten better.” He knocks Cas’ shoulder with his. “I’ve gotten better.”

“Good.” Cas smiles at him and he has to grip the railing again.

Dean watches him stare up at the moon, the pearly light making him look as otherworldly as he is. Dean is reminded there are wings somewhere behind Cas. Broken, yes, but still there. It’s weirdly exciting that Cas isn’t human. A strange thrill shoots through him when he really thinks about it. He feels like one of those people who inadvertently tame some dangerous beast and have their photos taken with the thing sat on their couch with them. It’s that precious feeling that you’ve been chosen, that something that would normally kill you with a snap of jaws or a click of its fingers saw you and thought you were special. So it decided that it wanted you to live. That it wanted to spend time with you. That he wanted –

“Dean? You’re staring.” Cas turns back to him with a raised eyebrow and a slightly smug expression. “You usually tell me off for that.”

“Right.” Dean doesn’t stop looking. “It’s just...you’re back.You came back again.”

Cas’s expressions softens and he edges a little closer. Suddenly – wildly – Dean thinks if Cas kissed him now he’d be fine with it.

He doesn’t.

“It was suffocating.” He says instead. “The black emptiness was...all encompassing. Like no matter what I did or where I went, I would never escape the feeling of total despair. Of being painfully alone. It was like - ”

“Choking.” Dean says and swallows hard against his healing throat.

“Yes.” Cas’ fingers twitch on the railing and Dean thinks that if he moved his left pinkie, he could feel his skin. Cas’ hand drops before he can really contemplate doing it. “But I did escape.”

“Yeah.” Dean’s full of energy again, happiness buzzing around his body like a swarm of bumblebees. “You got out, man.”

“I was afraid that feeling would follow me. That I would still feel that fear no matter how far I ran.”

“And?”

“I don’t.” Cas turns to the moon again, bathed in pure light, eyes shining as bright as his grace. “I don’t feel scared at all.”

Dean blinks back the sting in his eyes and smiles. “Me neither.”

Dean pushes open the door with a sweaty palm.

Cas stands next to him, staring into the room with his lips slightly parted. Dean’s gaze lingers on them for moment before he drags his eyes away.

Just because Cas...said what he said, doesn’t mean he wants that. Maybe he didn’t really mean it. Or maybe he did mean it but like...friends. Best friends love each other. Of course they do. Sure, it did seemlike a momentous romantic confession made by a guy madly in love with his best friend before he sacrificed himself to save said best friend but maybe...maybe it wasn’t really like that.

“You did this for me?” Cas sounds almost tearful and Dean can’t look at him like that. It reminds too much of –

“Yeah.” Dean clears his throat. “Well, Sam helped too. Turns out he’s kinda nerdy about plants too. But I bought ‘em all and watered ‘em and...Jack got you that stuffed bee, by the way.”

Cas steps inside the room and Dean can finally look up from his feet. His eyes go straight to Cas’ broad back, casually dressed in one of Sam’s sweaters. The sleeves are too long but Cas says he likes it. He’s wearing a pair of joggers that Dean kept aside for him and a pair of socks with a hole in the toe.

“I love it.”

Dean’s heart literally skips a beat. Great, he loves it. Loves it in the way he loves –

“Wanted you to have something to come back to, you know? I know this was always kinda your room but there was nothing in here and I thought...after what you said before about the Empty...thought you’d want something good to come back to. Bright and full of life...or whatever, I dunno. Just thought you might like it.”

“It’s incredible.”

Dean thinks that’s over stating it. It’s not that good. Not nearly enough to repay his debts. Not anywhere near what Cas deserves. He deserves a real home, a huge garden, a fucking mansion with butlers and people who bow to him and call him ‘sir’. Instead Dean has given him his old room back. Sure, it’s got a few shelves up, a new rug, bedding that Jack picked out called ‘jungle dreams’, a load of plants and a tall lamp that gives everything a nice glow but it’s still the same room.

Dean has never felt more pathetic.

Castiel is an angel. Ok, barely an angel now (and whose fault it that?) but still a celestial being. He might get tired sometimes, he might get hungry and he might be able to get drunk but he’s still an angel.

He’s still better.

Better than this stupid room, better than this miserable Bunker. Better than Dean.

“Is this your blanket?” Cas asks suddenly, plucking the Scooby-Doo fleece blanket from the bed.

Oh, that. “Uh, yeah. Thought you might get cold now. Don’t want you to get numb toes or nothin’.”

“That’s...” Dean isn’t prepared for the open, raw joy on Cas’ face when he looks up. It almost sends him reeling backwards out of the door. “That’s very kind of you. You didn’t have to do all of this. It’s...”

Stupid. Stupid plants, stupid lamp, stupid goddamn blanket.

“It’s wonderful.”

“It’s stupid.” Dean blurts, feeling awkward and childish. “Shoulda done something more. Shoulda got you - ”

“You got me.” Cas says firmly. “You got me out, Dean. You and Sam and Jack...I will never be able to thank you enough. And then to come back to this room that you worked so hard on, that you filled with things you knew I would like...there is nothing better than that in the whole world. The whole of creation. To be known and to be wanted is the best thing there is.”

Fuck.

Dean doesn’t know what to say to that. What can he say to that? What can he say that would ever compare to what Cas said? What he said before –

“Right. Ok. Great. That’s...good. I’ll just...” He gestures over his shoulder to the door. Being in here with Cas is too intense, like staring at the sun or holding your hand over an open flame. “You probably want to rest.”

Cas hesitates before saying, “Yes. I suppose I should. Thank you again for this. I really love it.”

“Yeah, man.” Dean almost winces. “No worries. I’ll just...leave you to it.”

He steps back into the open doorway, unwilling to take his eyes away from Cas because he’s here, in the room Dean has imagined him in for weeks. It’s kind of annoying that Cas doesn’t have the same trouble. He turns his back, wandering towards the plants on the shelves and gently touching the leaves.

Dean lingers, like a moth perched on a lightshade.

“Are you - ” Just leave. “Are you gonna be ok by yourself? I mean, you said before that it was lonely being in the Empty. Thought maybe you’d want company?”

Cas seems surprised when he faces Dean again. “Oh. Well, yes, of course. I would enjoy you staying for a while. But please don’t feel like you have to.”

The idea of Cas thinking he’s keeping Dean against his will is laughable.

“So, er - ” He sits on the bed, fingers clutching at his blanket. “What do you wanna do? I could get my laptop and we could watch a movie? Or we could watch one of those nature documentaries that kinda send me to sleep? You know the ones with the British guy with smooth voice - ”

“Actually, I should rest. I am quite tired.”

“Oh.” Dean tries to not look crushingly disappointed. “Right, yeah.”

“You could rest with me.” Cas says, just like that. Like it’s not a big deal at all. Like guy friends just clamber into bed with each other all the time and die for each other and confess their love for each other...

“Sure.” Dean’s mouth decides for him. “We could – we could do that.”

So they get into bed together.

Cas slides in as though this is his regular night time routine, looking totally at ease in his new ‘jungle dreams’ bedding and borrowed blanket. Dean’s hands shake as he lifts up the covers and slides in too. He waits for it to be weird, waits for discomfort and his father’s face swimming in front of eyes.

Instead, he just feels warm.

They’re led next to each other, unmoving and flat on their backs. Dean’s right leg is about to fall off the bed and Cas’ shoulder looks like it’s digging into the nightstand. Maybe this bed wasn’t made to fit two fully grown men too afraid to touch.

“Dean, are you comfortable? I am not.”

He laughs and rubs a hand over his face. “Yeah, this isn’t great. Maybe if we...uh - ”

“What about if we do this?”

Cas’ hands are suddenly everywhere, manhandling him in a way that Dean has never experienced before but wouldn’t mind experiencing again. He ends up with his head resting on Cas’ chest, forehead pressed against his neck. His right leg has nowhere to go but to hook around Cas’ legs, entwining them together.

And Cas is holding him.

His arms are wrapped around him and not just because they haven’t got anywhere else to go. Because he wants them to go there. Because he wantsto hold Dean. Possibly all night.

Dean starts to panic.

Led like this, his ear is pressed against Cas’ chest – his heartbeat the loudest thing he can hear. What if someone breaks into the Bunker without him knowing? What if something is happening to Sam? To Jack? And he hasn’t even brought a gun with him. He squirms a little, debating on popping back to his room to get one when Cas says,

“Are you thinking about getting a weapon, Dean? I promise you, you won’t need it.”

Cas’ deep voice rumbles through his body, rocking him out of his spiralling worry so quickly Dean briefly wonders if he used some of his remaining slither of grace to do it.

“I would never let anything happen to you.”

“What if someone comes in?”

“An intruder? Judging by our current position, I assume I am the being most visible from the door.”

Dean’s fingers curl in Cas’ borrowed sweater. “You mean you’d be shot first?”

“Yes.” Dean feels his arms tighten around him for a moment. “And I believe my body would shield you from the vast majority of attacks.” He sighs and his breath tickles Dean’s hair. “Of course, if someone were to gain access to the Bunker, it’s likely they would be a supremely powerful being. That would reduce our chance of survival by quite a lot. However, if you really insist on being armed, I am confident that in the few seconds I could shield you, you could at least reach for a makeshift weapon. Whatever good it would do.”

“Right. But...” Dean doesn’t really feel comforted. “I don’t want you to...” He can’t quite say the word.

“Die?” Cas finishes for him as his fingers begin to move, leaving warm trails over Dean’s back. “No, I cannot say that I am enthused by the idea either. I have no desire to leave you again.”

“Not ever?” Dean asks and despises himself for the needy edge in his voice.

“Not ever.” His hands are moving now, big and slow in soothing motions against Dean’s back. He can’t remember the last time he was held like this. Mom, he thinks. When he was a kid. He knows he must look pathetic – six foot plus guy that’s been to hell and back being held like a baby. He should move, should pull away, wipe his eyes and tell Cas it’s time he went back to his own room.

He doesn’t want to.

“You love me.” He says instead, face burning and mouth dry.

He feels Cas smile against the crown of his head. “Yes.”

“You’re like...in love with me.”

One of Cas’ hands moves higher, fingertips trailing over the back of his neck leaving goose bumps in their wake. “Yes.”

Dean will never admit to the half moan, half whine he lets out. He buries his face in Cas’ chest and breathes him in. The smell of him fills Dean’s lungs and Cas’ arms start to feel like a weighted blanket, pressing gently on his body. It makes his eyes soft and his limbs heavy.

As he drifts off, he feels Cas’ lips brushing against his temple.

Dean wakes slowly.

He’s cocooned in softness and warmth and he has no desire to rush anything anymore – least of all to the leave the comfort of his (new) memory foam and his angel. He shifts a little, nuzzling his nose against stubble.

“I thought you were making breakfast.” Cas’ voice rolls over him slow and sweet like honey.

“Hmm.” A murmur, breathed into Cas’ neck, is all Dean can manage.

“Dean, you did promise them.” Cas says, with barely a hint of firmness. His voice is a little husky, like he’s still battling the urge to sleep.

“Oh, yeah? When?” Dean’s lips brush over warm skin.

“Last night.”

He pretends to forget. “Can’t take anything I said last night serious, Cas.”

“Oh?” He sounds a bit more awake now – that familiar dry, teasing tone creeping in.

Dean feels a pang of something in his chest so intense he almost squirms. “Alright, maybe some things were serious.”

“Hmm.” One of Cas’ hands rubs languid strokes up and down his back. “I should hope so.”

The memories come back easy and bright, playing like a dream behind Dean’s heavy eyelids. The stillness of their bedroom is punctuated by the sound of quiet voices in the living room. He grins at that, relishing waking up with the love of his life and his family just in the next room. Happy. Safe.

“Screw ‘em.” Dean says, more to himself than Cas and rubs his foot along his leg a few times, settling down again.

Cas doesn’t seem to have any objections. His hand strokes higher, fingers brushing through Dean’s hair and his blunt nails lightly graze his scalp.

Dean almost whines, his head lifting to follow the touch. He half opens his eyes again and sees a smile, unhurried and adoring. Cas leans down a little and kisses him, stubble rough and lips soft. Dean’s fingers curl against skin and his legs squeeze a muscled thigh beneath the blankets.

They stay that way for a while – bodies warm and entwined, gently greeting each other as the new day dawns. The rising sun has drenched the room in rich yellow light, soft and muffled through the curtains.

Cas’ hand is just caressing his hip and his tongue is getting hotter and more demanding in Dean’s very willing mouth when there’s a knock at the door.

“I know you’re both awake.” Sam’s voice rumbles through the door, amused and still a little sleep rough. “And don’t think we forgot about breakfast either. Eileen wants pancakes and she says I don’t make them right.”

“Not unhealthy enough!” Eileen voice calls out, a little further away.

Dean laughs against Cas’ lips.

“Alright, alright! Gimme five.”

As they slowly detangle, he catches a glimpse of silver as Cas stretches. Dean’s hand feels heavy and warm, like someone’s been holding it for hours. Dean yawns and dangles one leg out of bed, then another. He’s easing himself into the day, taking it a bit at a time.

He can do that now.

He laughs as Cas drags him in for one last kiss before he slides away, shoving his feet into his slippers and tugging on his trusty robe. His ties it around him and wanders, a little stiff-legged, to the window. He pulls back the curtains and from the bed Cas both grumbles and raises his face to meet the sunrise.

Dean watches the sun bathe him in bright light and remembers seeing him like this before. But then it was moonlight and he and Cas were at some shitty motel just out of Colorado. Not in their own house, not in theirbedroom. Dean has his first unbearably intense wave of wild happiness. It won’t be the last one today.

“I like having a window.”

“I liked having eyesight.” Cas mutters, burying himself into the covers.

Dean laughs and thwacks him on the thigh as he passes out the door. Cas’ll be up in his own time.

Four steps and Dean’s in the kitchen.

His brother is perched on one of the chairs at the little island separating the kitchen from the living room. Eileen is signing at him and he’s watching, completely enraptured, with a look of total adoration on his face. Dean would have laughed at him for that once. Now, he knows what it’s like when someone looks at him like that. Now he knows what it’s like to look at someone like that.

But he might still laugh a bit. That’s a big brother’s right.

“Mornin’!” He calls cheerily, rummaging in the fridge for eggs and milk. He emerges triumphant, plopping them onto the counter with a grin. “If the lady wants pancakes, the lady gets pancakes.”

“Best brother in law ever.” Eileen says and Sam almost falls off his seat. She just shrugs cheekily. “Unofficially.”

“For now.” Dean winks and Sam splutters.

“Right, well. Once you’ve finished marrying me off, can we get some breakfast?”

“Alright, alright!” Dean glares but he’s itching to get started. “Goddamn demanding baby. Eileen you could do so much better. Sadly, I’m already taken - ”

She laughs and so does Sam. He wraps an arm around Eileen’s waist and she plays with his hair as they all talk. They talk about Jack getting hyperactive on sugared almonds, about Claire and Kaia wearing matching suits, about Jody and Donna getting drunk and singing karaoke until they were booed off the stage.

Then Cas stumbles out of their soft-lit room; hair wild and face crumpled. He bids them all good morning in a slightly rough tone before shuffling over for coffee. He cradles his mug in both hands as he leans against the corner counter, basking in the sun with his eyes closed.

Dean watches him, aching with joy.

Being in the dark with Cas is easy. But being with him in the light is better.

He twirls the whisk in his hand and it knocks against the ring on his left hand, so new it glows against his skin. Cas kisses his neck as he passes into the living room and Dean grins, looking up at his family.

“Hey, Eileen. What’s the sign for ‘husband’?”

#destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #destiel fic #spn fic #userstarry #dean and cas night time snippets throughout the years #it's mostly cute #ahhhhh my first spn fic i'm so excited #i really loved working on this #mine

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pseudofaux · 4 years ago

Note

omg, i'm so shy to be asking this, but if you're ok with it, a drabble about Ikesen Kenshin getting oral and accidentally giving MC a facial (and maybe he feels guilty about it, but it doesn't mean he didn't like it.)

I am sooooooooooooo okay with this, thank you for asking for it! This is a brilliant scenario for Kenshin! I put in some MC-wooing-him talk to carry the scene through, because I could see his sweet bun[s] having trouble, uh, letting go. I hope you’ll see this and enjoy. (Requests are closed, readers, but there are a lot to be filled in May and likely June, too! Feel free to follow along or just check in and enjoy as many as you like. A masterlist will go up when they are all completed.)

She had never thought much of worshiping a man. Maybe because Kenshin worships her she feels safe to return his ardor in kind? She’s certainly doing that now, curling long trails with her tongue and kissing him every time she finishes. He feels good under her tongue, he feels good in her hands, he smells good and he tastes good, and it makes her want to bow formally before him. But she’s not going to stop what she’s doing.

The thing is, as long as he is certain she is safe, he lets her do what she wants. If there was a way for Kenshin to comb through the entire country and then put it under a dome of glass, like a prize cake, he would probably let her walk around unguarded.

Well. Maybe not completely unguarded. But she has come to realize that when he knows she is as safe as he can make her, he relaxes considerably. And he always says yes to her requests, seemingly calm and pleased to be able to indulge her. Which is why they are here in his room and he has his elbows on his desk and his kimono undone and his beautiful throat-- his whole beautiful front-- is exposed to the air. And to her, on her knees between the strength of his legs.

Not that she can spend much time looking at the beauty of all of him, since she is very focused on what he gave her when she asked for it: an opportunity to put her mouth on him and just love him for awhile. This precious chance to touch him and show him how much she adores him without having to withstand his own overwhelming attention is rare. When she glances at his beautiful hands, she can see the tendons of them flexing... but he keeps them to himself, because Kenshin is a man if his word and his word was he would let her have her way.

He is all beautiful masculinity before her. Those hands, hanging tense off the edge of his desk; the black cuffs artfully (and only partially) hiding the strength of his wrists; all the lovely strength of his chest and stomach. He’s mouth watering. She’s grateful for that, because a wet mouth makes it easier to move her tongue over him and give him the kisses she knows he likes. It feels nice to have this kind of permission to drool over how gorgeous and glorious he is in her hands. The skin of his shaft is the most perfect, malleable warmth over his unforgiving hardness— she has poked herself inside her cheek many times expecting him to somehow bend. He doesn’t. No wonder she cries out every time he puts himself inside her. His intensity is one thing, but his body is a true marvel.

There is no crying out now. She’s been noisier than she meant to, though. It just feels so good to love him! She is so glad he let her do this! It’s everything to her, to be able to mouth at him, breathe him in, use her tongue and suck to draw forth his pleasure the way he endlessly seeks hers. Even now, she feels like he has only paused his constant search for ways to make her moan... and she is moaning anyway.

Instead, she tries to articulate the feeling in a way he will understand. It’s important to be direct with Kenshin. “I love how you feel,” she murmurs. “Thank you for letting me do this.”

His sound is strangled by his own throat, but she understands him perfectly.

“Do you want me to keep talking?” She’s careful to whisper the question right onto the tip of him and make her breath gentle and warm before she slowly takes him back into her mouth and as far into her throat as she can.

The dragon of Echigo hisses and his thighs flex beneath her hands. “You know I love your voice. Speak if you wish to speak,” he manages to say.

She sucks, lets her tongue drag along him until distance parts their bodies, and then she goes right back down. When she comes back up she whispers, “I love you,” and kisses, then sucks, the tender space below the head of his cock, just as beautifully as the rest of him. “I love you, Kenshin.”

His entire body stiffens against the desk, and his legs flex again-- more powerfully-- below her hands and around her body. She’s on her knees, tucked into him like a swallow in a nest. “It makes me happy to give you this attention,” she says slowly. It makes her feel very powerful to use her tongue on him. “It feels good for me to love you this way.”

Kenshin is always, always elegant, but he makes a noise that is not. It fits perfectly in her soul, like a jewel he ordered to be cut just for her.

“I know you are so, so strong,” she whispers, kissing him again, “And I’m grateful that you would let me take over.”

She slides one hand over the bump of his knee and brings it to her own body. “Do you know,” she asks, “That when I have you on my tongue I feel it here?” She pushes herself onto her hand to show him exactly where she means.

“Woman,” he says hoarsely. “Why would you feel such a thing?”

“Because I love you,” she whispers. “Because your body is perfect, and every time I touch it I want you. Sometimes just to hold me. But right now I want you so much more than that.”

His beautiful face scrunches up in disbelief, pleasure, and confusion. It’s no small thing to send a god of any kind into such a tizzy. “This is torture,” he manages to grit out.

“It’s not. I love you,” she tells him again.

He stutters over a curse and clears his throat. The sound is very low, not a growl but not far from one, either. “Let me touch you,” he demands. “I need to touch you.”

“Soon,” she promises, slipping her hands all the way to his, palms open and up to supplicate him as she laces their fingers and squeezes him. “I will. Please give me just a little more time.”

He lets her take him back into her mouth, slowly and fully, even lets her love him with her tongue again before he speaks. But when he does, it is too late.

“I don’t have—nrgh—”

Kenshin cuts himself off with a cry of her name, and pulls back his hips to splatter his cum all over her face instead of in her mouth. She catches a glimpse of his cock standing so proud and beautiful, and she wants to watch it, but she closes her eyes and opens her mouth, gently putting out her tongue to catch what she can.

It’s not as though he’s never come in her mouth. But he’s never done it without touching her— usually she is coming along with him, licked and lapped to senseless pleasure by his tongue while his hands keep her safe as her soul tries to fly.

There’s warm wet on her face. Enough that she knows there’s a lopsided mask of it across the tops of her cheeks and nose, and a thick, slow dribble flowing down the side of her face. He seems to be done, so she opens her eyes. His are narrowed and lusty, and that little bit frustrated he gets when she one-ups him sexually. She does not think it is possible to love Kenshin any more than she does right now.

“Thank you,” she says, cupping her hands to catch his cum before it drips onto the floor.

He gasps, or perhaps he’s only winded. “How could you— why would you do that, why did you stay there instead of moving?” he demands. He pushes her hands away, then touches the slow-moving fluid on her face. His eyes get wider. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip and she can’t tell if he’s so quick about it because he’s trying to hide the movement or if he doesn’t even realize he’s making it. But he is definitely into this like she is, and that makes her burn even hotter for him, that steady fire stoked so much higher.

She puts her hand carefully over his, because even when his interest is clear to her, it helps to be clear about it right back, so he has many chances to see it. “Because I wanted you to do that,” she tells him. “I like making you feel that good.”

“I would never dishonor you with this mess,” he breathes. But he is not looking at it like it is dishonorable. He looks like he wants to pin her down, and like it will be a matter of seconds before he does. “Your beautiful face,” he insists. He looks so wonderfully torn between distress and arousal.

“I’m kind of hoping you’ll do this to my face again sometime,” she confesses.

His eyes get even wider and he launches himself from the desk, catching her back and leaning her down to the floor like they are in the middle of a battlefield dance instead of his room. His cum immediately begins to slide toward her ear and she fidgets from the tickle.

“No,” he says, swiping it gently away with his hand and flicking it off with the same finesse she has seen him use to throw blood from a blade. “Take off your clothes. Now.” He is already yanking at her loose robes and stroking the skin of her belly with his knowing, oh-so-skilled fingertips. And one is just a little slick on her, his cum clinging like an oil. It makes her shudder.

“I will do anything you ask,” Kenshin says, pulling one of her legs out, then the other, so she can rest more comfortably on the floor. “Even that, if you wish. But another time. Now it is your turn.” He is so solemn and fierce it is hard not to grin, knowing what she is in for. Already there is the hazy look in his eyes that means he is planning her pleasure. “It is only right for you to make a mess of my face,” he tells her, wiping tenderly at her nose with the edge of her clothing.

He sees to it with all the precision of a god, and in the process makes her feel like she is receiving heaven’s every blessing. When she is a lax heap of limbs on his floor, he crawls back up to her mouth. Their kisses are sweet and slippery indeed. But the mess is manageable, and well-appreciated.

#ikesen fanfiction #ikesen fanfic #ikesen kenshin #pseu slings #SO GOOD!!! nonny I hope you know this whole idea should be a giant feather in your cap because DAMN I love this idea sooooooo much!!!!

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lovely-angst · 4 years ago

Text

a glimpse of the past

//SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 299!

pairing: hawks x reader

genre: fluff and angst

word count: 2.7k

summary: Hawks’ past was unknown to you and you were okay with that, for now at least. But when your quirk had gone out of control and you find yourself in an unfamiliar location, you spot a pair of very familiar wings.

a/n: my writing is kinda rusty here, sorry!

02.05.21

Hawks was different—not in a bad way, but in a mysterious way.

You knew so many things about him, but there were more things that you didn’t know about him.

These things he kept a secret from you didn’t keep you from loving him any less. Though there were times when it hurt because he kept them from you, Hawks would always press a soft kiss to your forehead, saying, “When the time comes, I’ll tell you.”

And because you loved him, you waited.

There were days where the only time you got to see your boyfriend was when he was on the news. Even after a rough battle against some villain, he still smiled bright and warm—It was easy to miss a person like him.

The days when he would be able to come home were your favorites by far. It usually consisted of nothing more than chicken take-out and lots of cuddles, but you didn’t mind.

Hawks was set out for a complicated mission, possibly one of the most critical missions, he explained, sparing you no further information for your safety.

It was almost time for Hawks to report to the commission as he stood in the apartment’s cozy living room the two of you shared. Your gentle hands lightly brushed away stray wrinkles on his jacket before you glanced up at him with a comforting smile.

“I’ll miss you,” he says quietly, “so much.” Your hand brushes his hair back more before you press a kiss onto his forehead, “me too.”

“Do you think you could use my quirk on you?” you ask carefully, watching as Hawks gives you a rueful smile. “Are you sure, birdie? You might not like what you see.” He could see the hesitant look in your eyes.

Your quirk allowed you to see a glimpse into the future of the person you touched as if you were there in person. If you were able to get a good hold on them, for example holding their hand, you could see the scene clearer and with greater detail.

Hawks was right to warn you—what if you saw him dead in the future?

Shaking the terrifying thought from your mind, you nodded before grabbing onto his hands. “Just to keep me from worrying more. Did you want me to tell you what I’ll see?”

“Sure,” he replied with a smile and you smiled back before closing your eyes, allowing your quirk to activate.

Structures began to take place in the black canvas of your mind before you found yourself standing in the middle of debris from a destroyed building. Turning your head, you saw Hawks in Tokoyami’s arms as the two seemed to be escaping.

Turning your head, your eyes caught on to the smoke flowing from one of the rooms, blue fire seemed to peek through gently before a shadow stood in the doorway.

Suddenly, your body came back to the present as you opened your eyes to see Hawks staring at you somewhat worriedly. “Are you okay? You seemed a little distressed while you were gone there.”

All you could do was offer him a small sorry. “I can’t seem to tell if it’s good or bad, but you were with Tokoyami. The two of you seemed to be escaping from a lot of smoke and what seemed like blue fire.”

With that, Hawks gave you a comforting smile before leaning in to place a kiss onto your forehead, “Thanks dove, keep the nest warm for me.” You nod with a chuckle from his words—he loved referring to the apartment as a nest.

When he began to walk out to the balcony ready to take off, you quickly ran over to him to pull him in for a kiss, “I love you, do your best.” Hawks stared into your eyes full of love and adoration before he too pressed a kiss onto your lips, “Will do, and I love you too,” and with that, Hawks took off.

The mission wasn’t carried out until three days later, when there had finally been a news report.

The news didn’t report much on the battle because of how dangerous it was at the scene. From what they could report on, they managed to collect footage from helicopters on all the destruction done.

The battle was all the news outlet seemed to cover. Your heart pounded in your chest every time you watched the news—you couldn’t seem to pinpoint Hawks anywhere on the footage they showed, with wings as large and red as his.

Hawks was often away for missions, but you felt especially lonely this time around. It seemed all of Tokyo was waiting to see the aftermath of all of this destruction.

All you could do was hope Hawks was okay.

Your phone jingled beside you as you glanced down to find Tokoyami’s ID flashing on your screen.

“Hello? Tokoyami? Is everything okay?” you asked worriedly. “I’m fine, I just thought you might want to come visit Hawks. The hospital is allowing close friends and family to visit, so I thought I’d give you a call.”

Your eyes teared up from his thoughtfulness. You made it a mental note to treat the student someday.

“Thank you for calling me Tokoyami, I’ll be on my way.” and with that, you hung up the phone before quickly making your way to the hospital.

It had been a few days since the war against the villains had ceased. Those injured were hospitalized right away, including your lovely boyfriend. He wasn’t allowed any visitors at the time, but it seemed things were beginning to look up.

Approached the hospital, it wasn’t easy making your way through the large group of news reporters, fans good and bad alike. Thankfully you were able to pass through into the hospital thanks to some of Hawks’ hero friends.

As you made your way through the hospital, you noticed Tokoyami standing outside Hawks’ room. “Tokoyami,” you greet loud enough for the student to hear as he turned to give you a polite bow.

“I want to thank you again for the phone call and for looking out for Hawks,” you confess, “I saw you saving him through my quirk,” Tokoyami looked shocked before he composed himself and gave you a nod. Reaching over, you pulled the boy in for a comforting hug.

“Hawks is alive because of you. You’re an amazing hero, Tokoyami. Don’t forget that, okay?” Pulling away, the young man gives you a shy smile before he nods. “Thank you, (Name)-san.”

Turning towards the door, you rest your hand on the door handle, hesitating, only to hear Tokoyami’s voice cut through your thoughts. “It’ll be alright, (Name)-san. He’s been waiting for you.”

It was your turn to nod at the male before you slide the door open, stepping inside the too quiet room filled with the constant beeps of the hospital equipment.

With a deep breath, you brush past the curtains to see your boyfriend glancing out the window from where he laid on the hospital bed. Your heart broke seeing him hooked up to multiple machines, bandages wrapped nearly around his whole body, but that wasn’t the worst part—his wings were missing.

Gently, you knocked on the door, signaling your arrival. Right away, you noticed the panicked look in his eyes as he turned to you, your smile faltering as a result. Did he not want you here?

Cautiously, you walk over to his bed, pulling out a chair for yourself as you made yourself comfortable beside his bed. “Tokoyami called me over,” you say with a gentle tone, “he’s a really nice kid, remember to treat him well.”

The overpowering feeling of trying to repress your tears that threatened to slip out was difficult. You told yourself you’d be strong for Hawks, but seeing him in such a state—it was almost impossible.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry,” you say with a small chuckle as you began to wipe at your tears, “but it’s hard not to cry when I see you all bandaged up like this and hooked to all this equipment.” You sniffle once more, glancing over at Hawks, only to find him staring at you.

You really tried to get Hawks to settle down, but he just didn’t seem comfortable with you around. With a frown, you glanced over at him, “You look really nervous and tense right now, Hawks. Do you not want me here?”

His gold eyes shot to yours, even more, panicked now than before. Your brows furrow sadly as you watched your struggling boyfriend. Suddenly, he pointed to his throat before your eyes widened, “You can’t speak?” He nods.

Turning, you search through your bag before pulling out your phone, pressing on the notes app before handing it to him, “you can use my phone if you’d like.”

Taking your hands in his, he begins to type away before pressing the speaker button, letting your phone read out his message, “I do want you here. I just didn’t want you seeing me like this.” Giving him a sad smile, you leaned over towards him before pressing a kiss on his forehead, “Don’t be silly. How are you feeling though? Physically and mentally?”

“Not good. Tired physically and mentally,” you frowned from his comment, wishing there was more you could do for him. “I’m sorry to hear. If it makes you feel any better, I plan on staying overnight at the hospital. I was able to get work off.”

His eyes softened and you couldn’t help the smile that grew on your lips. “I love you, you know. I’d never leave you when you’re struggling,” Hawks glances down at the phone, typing a quick message before letting it play. Your laughter fills the air before you shake your head, “and even if you’re not struggling.”

Times like these sucked, but Hawks was glad that you were here to help him.

Throughout the day, Hawks slept like a log from his exhausted and medicated state. Thankfully, the doctors had informed you that he was healing exceptionally well and even if it took some time, his wings were bound to grow back.

The nurses would occasionally come in to check on Hawks and change any bandages as they needed to, making sure he was healing at his potential.

It was past 11 at night when you had woken up from a late nap. You had moved the long sofa from the window over beside Hawks’ bed to be closer to him at night.

Sitting up, you decided to check up on Hawks, who was still sleeping. Pushing the sofa back enough to stand between the sofa and the bed, you hovered over Hawks, brushing his messy bangs back slightly. He looked so much more peaceful asleep.

And thankfully, he was doing just fine. Letting out a relieved sigh, you shut your tired eyes before placing your hand on his, but suddenly, your quirk activated itself.

You found yourself falling into the dark abyss. Your surroundings began to take shape and it wasn’t long before you found yourself in an unfamiliar place.

Glancing around, you observed the soft clouds that drifted along the bright blue sky. You could see what seemed to be the main town in the distance, filled with tall and large buildings alike.

“Keigo!”

Hearing a sudden shout, you quickly turned around to find an old rundown shack that laid out in the middle of nowhere. “Who’s Keigo?” you thought to yourself as you quickly glanced around before making your way to the shack.

Peeking through the worn out doorway, your eyes glanced around at the torn up shack and how mangled up the place was. It seemed as if someone was living in this shack.

You caught a glimpse of the woman who sat on the floor silently, but the tense man had caught your attention.

The rugged looking man seemed to be fuming with anger. It wasn’t until he kicked the small child that sent you shooting towards him, “Hey! Leave them alone!” you cried as you tried to push the man away, only to phase through him and onto the ground.

Turning around, your eyes were met with familiar red wings, but this time smaller. As the man walked away, the child leaned over to grab the Endeavor doll that had gone flying from the impact of the kick.

“An Endeavor doll?” you questioned, glancing up to take a look at the young boy. That’s when it all clicked, “Hawks?”

Suddenly, the black abyss opened back up above you. The scene began breaking and shooting up before you too went flying up into the emptiness.

Your quirk was fading—you were waking up.

Gasping awake, your breathing was heavy and labored as your eyes quickly scanned the area before they landed on Hawks, this time from the present. His hands gripped your forearms tightly as a worried expression crossed his face.

Gently, his hands slid up until they landed on your cheeks, holding your face in his hands as you began to sob uncontrollably. Everything you had just seen and heard was too much for you to handle.

His thumbs caressed your cheeks in efforts to comfort your shaken form.

You didn’t know why your emotions seemed to burst out of you, but you had an idea it was because of how you had seen a glimpse Hawks’ past—something he had kept a secret from you.

“Hawks,” you choked, staring into his gold orbs, “m-my quirk activated when I touched you, but it sent me to the past instead, your past.” His hands faltered slightly against your cheeks. Reaching up, you placed your hands on what you could manage on his cheeks before whispering,

“Keigo, that’s your real name, isn’t it?”

Hawks’ eyes widened as he pulled away from you, shaken from hearing his name come from your lips. Dragging your hands down, you slip your smaller ones into his, giving him a comforting squeeze.

“I got a glimpse of your past. I saw that little shack you lived in. I think those adults in the room were your parents. He was calling you ‘Keigo,’ and you were just a little boy.”

Hawks shut his eyes with furrowed brows as you recalled what you had seen. If he was honest, this wasn’t how he wanted you to find out, especially when he was roughed up and stuck in the hospital.

But he was also relieved to have it off his chest—fate must’ve played a role in this.

Guilt slowly began to eat at you as Hawks sat quietly on his hospital bed, not paying you any attention as he hung his head low. Was it a mistake telling him about his past?

“I’m sorry,” you start awkwardly, “it wasn’t my place to say all of this. Um, I’m just going to step out for a few minutes. I didn’t mean to-” Before you could say or get any further, Hawks tightened his grip on your hands, keeping you in place. “Hawks?”

Releasing your hands, he made a gesture to your phone before you leaned over to grab the device for him. You sat in anticipation as you watched him type away before the robotic voice filled the room.

“I didn’t want you finding out like this,” You could only manage a sad smile, his fingers typing away once more. “Once I heal and once my voice is back, I promise I’ll tell you everything.”

“You don’t have to if you’re not ready,” you try, but Hawks shook his head, “I can’t keep hiding this from you.”

With a shaky breath, you nod. Hawks was set on his decision and you would go to him with an open heart and with open arms. He trusts you and you trust him back.

Lying back down on the sofa that sat beside his bed, you reached over his hand once more before making yourself comfortable, “For now, let’s go to sleep. You need to rest, my sweet bird. I love you, have a good night.” you say.

Closing your eyes, you could only hear Hawks getting himself comfortable in his bed before a few taps were heard.

“Good night, I love you too, chickadee.”

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