#[ mE BEING ATTACKED BY FEELS & HOW EMOTIONAL MY TALENTED MUTUALS' WRITING GOT ME

[lunaetis]

[ i'm ok ... i'm totally ok ... she's not. ]

[merakiui]

idol au anon inspired me to send some of my own hcs so here we go~

Xiao is definitely a producer imo! I don’t see him as someone who would want to be up and performing, however he’s probably very popular and sought after in the industry. I think he’d be signed with one of the biggest companies and probably work with really famous groups.

Scara is a soloist (maybe he was in a group but split from them) and has probably had his fair share of scandals in his career due to his attitude and general personality, but I also believe he has his way of getting out of it, mostly because it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t give a damn about what the media thinks. He believes that they should focus on his music (which is top tier btw) rather than him as a person. He doesn’t use this as an excuse to be horrible, though, and I can definitely see him as being the type to take situations on by himself rather than letting the company deal with it. He probably also defends fans and other idols if needed (like if they’re swarmed by an aggressive crowd or being attacked online) and has definitely called out sasaengs on multiple occasions. Another hc is that he takes great pride in producing his own music and concepts so he gets as little help as possible.

Tbh i don’t really see Zhongli being an idol, but he could be the leader of a group. He’d probably be the lead vocalist if that was the case. Otherwise, he could be a manager or even the CEO of a company. Maybe the one Xiao works for?

Childe is DEFINITELY an idol in a group. Often in the center, he’d probably be a vocalist as well and/or main dancer. He’s really popular as well as he interacts with fans all the time and always knows how to create the right mood for whichever song they’re performing. He’s just got the natural charisma for it. I also see him as being an actor on the side. However, he’s also one of the idols where a lot of fans believe that he puts on an front a lot.

Maybe I should actually start writing instead of sending asks all the time whoops...

Omg I hope cookie anon reads this! They were the one who sent in the idol au idea for Scaramouche.

I’ve seen a few modern au concepts where Xiao is a gamer or a twitch streamer. But as an idol I definitely agree with what you wrote. There’s no way he’d get up on a stage and perform in front of so many people. But he does have talent! I think he’d compose a lot of instrumentals for popular bands and groups. He’s probably done some solo work in the past, such as releasing music that captures his edgy aesthetic. If you’ve heard Takayan’s music and lyrics, that might be a genre he typically enjoys. Maybe even the aesthetic that Corpse Husband’s music has.

Scaramouche would definitely love working alone with little to no help at all! He tends to get a lot of fans because of his appearance and music style. Some even fall for his personality, too. But he’s mainly focused on putting out music that he enjoys making. He doesn’t care about the public’s opinion of him, but he does care about his fans. Scaramouche is often very vocal of his disapproval of stans or creepy sasaengs, saying that they can enjoy his music and his personality as an artist but he draws the line when they tweet strange things at him or try to find personal information about him.

I think Scaramouche also puts out some edgy music, too! But it’s nowhere near as edgy or solemn as Xiao’s music. He strikes me as the type who likes to play around with instrumentals a lot and will sometimes release an instrumental he likes, as he doesn’t want to ruin it with lyrics. His lyrics tend to be very meaningful when you look beyond the ‘teenage angst’ and pity parties; and as a result of that his fans like to find the hidden meanings in his lyrics (and occasionally in his PVs if he ends up doing one to go along with a song).

Zhongli is like the emergency member who’ll provide sounds or a few quick chords if the group is having trouble thinking. But I see him as being a manager for one of those idol groups; maybe he often works alongside Xiao, who tends to be put in charge as a spare manager in case one of the idols gets into a scandal. Sometimes Xiao will watch them as a bodyguard (or just moral support) to make sure they don’t stir up more trouble. Looking at Venti ahem.

Speaking of Venti, he is definitely an idol. Either he works with a group or he does it solo. His music genre is usually light and airy, always happy and sweet. Although if you strain to hear specific chord progressions you’ll find that the melody is often on the verge of becoming melancholic. His lyrics are also oddly sentimental, too, and that causes his fans to get emotional when he sings certain songs over a happy beat. Due to the fact that Venti likes to drink, he often gets caught by tabloids and fans when he tries to be sneaky. This leads to a strict scolding from his manager and he usually winds up in Xiao’s company as a result. The two of them seem like strangers at first, due to Xiao’s inability to socialize, but eventually they bond over their mutual love of music.

Childe does have the makings of a perfect idol: attractive face and body, confidence and charisma, and the brightest smile the world’s ever seen. He knows he’s got all of these assets and he uses them to their fullest potential. If he wasn’t an actor, I could see him as a model for specific clothing lines or other brands. Sometimes you’ll see him promote the newest luxury brand and sometimes he’ll be promoting something as simple as toothpaste. Either way, his fans eat it up every time. As a result of his outgoing personality and openness with his fans, he tends to get a lot of stalkers. He’s had to move many times because of this and has even had to stay overnight at his company’s studio because of the sasaengs.

Also, if Childe were an actor on the side I feel like he’d do a lot of comedy skits (think of SNL). I can see him replying to fans on his social media pages and he’s even followed some fan sites because he loves to see them keep up with facts and information about him. He might even correct them if there’s an error, just to avoid any misunderstandings between fans. He’s also the type of idol who doesn’t shy away from the camera, even if it’s sudden. You’ll never catch him off guard because he’s always ready to smile and pose for the paparazzi. Along with this, Childe always welcomes his fans to approach him in public if they recognize him. He loves to take selfies and give out hugs to his fans. If you bring a pen and a sheet of paper, he’ll even sign it for you!

[indimlights]

✨Merry christmas Cille✨

To: @birthdaysentiment 💛

-> From: @indimlights (Rodrigo)

Hi Cille! I guess it's up to me to kick off this "little" surprise but I don't even know where to start...

I remember really well the first time I saw a post of yours, I was still lurking back then and the moment I read it I felt so many things, things I don't know how to describe and that I never thought words could make me feel and I knew, I just knew that I had to see more. Fast-forward a couple of hours I knew your blog by heart, I had looked at so many of your posts and every single one was as amazing as the first one, as touching as the first one and as deep as the first one.

The meaning you put on words still gets to me every single day, you have such a way into them and don't even get me started on your music analysis. The moment I read the first one I was mind-blown! The things you catch, the connections you make between the music and the scene, the way you describe the scenes, it makes me go back, relive the moment and feel everything I felt the first time I watched it and all this just by... reading your words! If that doesn't tell me how amazing you are with them I don't know what will.

From that day I always wished I could talk to you, get to know the person behind the words, behind the masterpieces, behind the blog because you seemed like such a sweet person and now... After some time, I got that chance and I'm so happy I got it. You are everything I thought you would be and 1000x more, you are sweet, caring, smart, loving, wise, joyful and so supportive to me and to everyone in this community! You always spread love and that's so important and so nice of you to do, the way you write essays in the tags for everyone's posts just shows that! It's such a simple thing but means so much.

And I'm not even mentioning how talented you are with non-written posts because those are on another level aswell, I mean you always surprise me with your ideas and creativity and just knowing that whenever I come here I will have some sort of attack waiting for me just keeps me going and I love everything you do so much.

I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so welcoming when I barely knew anyone and for making me feel so much more comfortable here! Getting to know you better and to share this experience with someone like you has been a blessing and I wouldn't change any second of it, thank you for everything you have done and for always being so sweet to me. I don't understand what I did to deserve all that but that just shows again how wonderful you are.

I'm wishing you a merry christmas! Surrounded by everyone you love and that makes you happy because you deserve that and so much more, please never change, never stop being like this, a special and wonderful person. I hope you enjoy this surprise :) Have a wonderful day Cille 💛

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-> From: @remy3010 (Remy)

Hihi Cille❤ I love your blog so much especially music analysis! I just fall in love with your music analysis since your first posts.

For me whose mother tongue is not English, it takes a while to read but I'd love to. Because these articles deserve more people to see (including me)！

I have read every article of yours, the content touches me all the time. (Sometimes I have a lot of words want to tell you, But I don’t know how to speak in English..sorry🥺so I give❤ and reblog)

Anyway, thank you for writing beautiful words and sharing with us! I hope you can keep this passion forever, and everything go well. May you have wonderful days my friend ❤

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-> From: @franboos (Francine)

hi bb cille,

wanted to tell u that i love u blog and the time u put into analyzing stuff is shhshdhdhdhd. queen shit. u seen so genuine to talk to idk, i get those nice, non judgmental, relaxed and cool vibes from u. lmao. pls stay on tumblr for as long as u can cuz i love ur posts. u notice such little things in clips from wtfock, like u have a very detailed eye miss hehe. i really want to get to know u more cuz i really think we could vibe v well together, and that’s on perioood 😌. i hope u have a great great day while reading this queen. never stop what you’re doing cuz ur great at it. i love you !!

many kusjes and knuffels*,

fran

(*knuffels means hugs but also stuffed animal in dutch, did u know that? otherwise now u do, nice isn’t it)

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-> From: @dagcutie (Pauline)

hey hey cille!!

I must admit i’m very much a fan of you and your blog

first of all, your posts? chefs kiss!! i mean your music analysis are amazing and so on point, your photo edits are always perfect and the colorings are so beautiful, your long text posts 'drabble/headcanon style' are so cute and always makes me so soft and emotional...

your love for black and white? that’s a big yes!! anyways everything you do is perfect!!

also can we take a moment to appreciate your person? i think we can and we must do it..

you’re always so supportive and kind, all the nice tags you let under peoples creations are so sweet!! I also could cry about how cute you are always leaving lovely messages to people inbox or coming randomly to them to say something nice.. you’re the most beautiful soul and a blessing for this fandom!! please never stop being you!! ily a lot, sending you all my love and i wish you an amazing day<3

knus og kys til dig💛✨

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-> From: @allee-sander (Tanya)

Cille, you are an amazing person. you are so kind and loving. every time i see you on my dash, my face lights up. you are a literal angel. you are loved and appreciated, never forget that.

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-> From: @tsjernobyl (Emma)

Cille, you are a genuinely kind and loving soul who's just on this site to talk about the things you love and spread a little joy and everyone can tell that the moment they go onto your blog. i've seen you be nothing but lovely to everyone you interact with and it's a real honor to be mutuals with you and interact from time to time. You are always one of the sweetest and most supportive people here, and i hope you feel that love flowing back to you at all times because you always have my warmest wishes and love!!!!!

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-> From: @dreamaur (Ann)

How does it feel to be so cool and sweet and supportive??? I love you and your mind and how you see so many details and capture them so well with words,,,queen keep going with your top tier analysis and text posts that make me emotional everything single time

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-> From: @annonymannonym (Alice)

Where do I even begin ummm ... well words may not be enough to describe such angelic human being that Cille is but today is about her *about you Cille* !♡! Honestly I’m so so happy and honoured and so grateful to have meet and know you and come along your blog and your amazing posts and edits , let’s s not forget about the masterpiece that your analysis is cuz I live for every single one of them ! Always so on point and touchy and so so emotionally, they give you a whole new perspective and point of view and helps you connect with the person that goes throught those feelings , helping you understand so much deeper the feelings and the emotions he experience in that right moment( so thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time and writing these it really shows how much passion and love you put on making these! they absolute helped me to understand and feel much more the meaning behind all these little moments you captured so so well and wonderful ! ) You’re always such a blessing here so lovely friendly so goodhearted and sooo on ... < insert here all the good compliments in the world > cuz they all applies to you ! Know that you’re so special and such a light a sunshine wherever you are and go , you always spread so much positivity and good energy and love and compassion and you support every single people your way comes along with and you shown so much respect and love and understanding ! Always with a wise and thoughtful mind and with the right words at you using them with so much care and mining fullness ! And your blog i love love love it the b&w aesthetic and your love for it owns my heart !! I adore your posts so much ( or ramblings or thoughts as you may call them but know they are so so much more than that its a way of yours to express yourself and open up and pour every feeling you experience and many people found themselves and feel with you , I find myself in them and resonate with them every time ! ahh and your tags that you write in every post are sooo sweet and cute i could read them all day long just coming on your blog and read them makes my day so much better ) they are such a good way to brighten your day and they put a smile on my face whenever i see you on my dash truly a blessing to have you here! Never forget how unique and special human being you are and every one who has you in their lives are very blessed to have you ! Never change being this beautiful inside and out but most importantly inside ! literally a tresure your soul is and must be protected at all cost so take very good care of it ! Don’t forget to always do what makes you happy and gives joy and peace and just you know that good feeling you have in your chest and heart whenever you do something you love and like with passion and joy. I could say so much more but maybe I’ll repeat myself cuz there are never enough compliments to say about how wonderful person you are! you deserve every single one of them ! I really meant every word i said from the bottom of my heart and know that i really apreciate and love all you do and I’ll be here to support you anytime! You deserve the absolute world and more!! love you Cille! ♡ Okey bye✿

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-> From: @robbesdriesen (Bianca)

Cille ~ such a lovely presence to see on my dash always!! Your support towards everyone in the fandom is more than appreciated and so is your love that you continuously aim to spread <3

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-> From: @happilyinsane (Dharaa)

Hey Cille 💕

Just wanted to say that I think you are really sweet and lovely. I see you everywhere on the tumblr. Wanna thank you for keeping this fandom alive during the drought and keep us entertained. I see your tags on people's posts and I always feel like you are so kind and sweet to spend your time appreciating people's work. Doesn't matter if its a photo or an edit or whatever. You are so nice to pay attention to everyone individually. You are such a good friend/mutual, always appreciating and sliding into their asks and just making their day a lil bit better. You definitely bring so many smiles on our faces. I am sure everyone is very thankful to have you in this fandom, I know I am.

I know we haven't interacted that much but thank you for sliding into my asks and giving me an opportunity to interact with you. You are the sweetest, baby. And I hope you like this whole thing that Rodrigo is doing, because you definitely deserve it. Keep lighting up our dashes with your posts, pls. Ilysm 💕

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-> From: @alwaysaneverland (Sarah)

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-> From: @theflowerisblue (Lola)

Cille! You’re such a present part of the tag! You’re always interacting and posting and I love reading what you have to say. Your music analysis are so interesting and I also think you’re really funny! I love your black and white aesthetic and most of all I love how supportive and positive you’re towards everyone!

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-> From: @fvae (Fae)

hi cille!! I'm really glad to have met you through this fandom and I hope you like the surprise!! I loved to read your song analysis because they're always on point and well thought of👌 💯  and your edits!! *chef's kiss*

sending you lots of love and hugs 💕💖💫

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-> From: @embeddedinmybrain (Tasfia)

Hi Cille! You are just a ray of sunshine!! And you are the sweetest and kindest person here. I loved following through with your wtfock music analysis posts bc everything you felt is exactly what I felt. They made me really emotional!! And of course I (and Sarah and Fae) appreciate your tags for moyo season so much. We wait for them and we read them to each other and we just love seeing your reactions to it. Your edits are incredibly amazing too and I love the colouring in them. You are just an amazing sweetheart and I’m so glad to know you 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

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-> From: @veerledejaegers (Soph)

Cille, you are very friendly and sweet, always insightful and seem like an incredibly lovely person that i hope i can get to know better ❤️(also love the black and white aesthetic)

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-> From: @sanderxrobbee (Semri)

Cilleeeeeeeeeeee loml!!!! Merry Christmas to you! I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you get to spend all the holidays in the best way possible! You’re such a blessing to this fandom because you’re talented in every single way, whether it’s your writing or your godly Photoshop skills, oh and let’s not forget your dedication because you’re there all the time to brighten our days and make us smile. I haven’t known you for long, but I truly love and appreciate all you do and I’m grateful that you always take the time to compliment everything and everyone. You have no idea how much it makes me smile when you say my gifs are good because I’ve yet to learn a lot, but you are seriously one of the biggest reasons I haven’t given up the second something got too complicated. Where am I going with this? No idea. Anyway, I adore the fuck out of you and I’m happy to take part in this “project” because you really deserve all the love in the world. Once again, happy holidays!

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-> From: @hopelessromanticvirgo (Elene)

Talking about you Cille is making me always so emotional but I will try my best not to burst out from love and emotions. You’re one of the sweetest person here and I will never get tired of saying that.

We haven’t talked that much directly but I don’t need that to know you’re one of the greatest person here, I just know that for sure. I’m also sure about it because I can see the way you treat people? Even speaking about your tags? Like you take the time out of your day to make sure everybody gets love and everybody gets attention. You make all of us smile and I adore your tags on my stories. You can’t even imagine how many times I have reread your posts about it, like I crave it, I’m in love with it, it makes me feel so happy and so loved and I’m certain that everybody else feels the same way too. You always know how to make everybody’s day better and how to make them feel special.

And please, don’t even get me started on your posts! Your song analysis. Like I know I’ve told you this thousands of times before but I don’t care, I’m saying it again! The way you pictured and described all those songs and scenes!!! Like wow! I’d always reread your posts about that one specific scene after rewatching the season countless of times. (And you also did so many scenes!! I’m in awe and I’m emo from just thinking about it)

Watching clips were different but reading them with lyrics were a whole other thing. I just felt so connected with the whole story and scenes when I’d ready your posts. And connect scenes with the music and it was the best thing ever. Sometimes I still go back and reread some of my favorite posts of yours. I never get tired of it.

And you’re so kind and so sweet that I could write essays about it! Such a blessing to this world! I just love you a lot okay? Everybody needs somebody like you, somebody who shines from kindness and love and people around you must be so lucky who get to meet you everyday and talk to you!

Thank you so much for everything you do, for being you and for making my day better and making me smile every time you reblog my posts or every time I just see your username on my dashboard! It’s such a small gesture but means so much!

Thank you for existing, babe! I hope you’re gonna have a wonderful day! And I’m sending you the biggest hug and my positive vibes! I hope a smile never leaves your face! And I only wish the best things up onto you! I love you! ❤️❤️❤️

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-> From: @itubainaretro (Esther)

Cille, my queen!!! Hi, sweetheart! Just dropping by to say that I hope you’re having a good day, despite the situation that the world is in, and that you’re feeling happy, loved, cherished and warm today, because you’re you and you deserve to feel all the best feelings in the world! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your wishes come true too, because you sure deserve it! Thank you for being this amazing, inspiring, talented and sweet person that you are and that I’ve come to know a little bit in the past few months! I know we don’t exactly talk that much, but I want you to know that I love seeing you, your beautiful edits and your extremely heart warming “moments that live in my head rent free” posts on my dash daily! They all really make my days! Thank you for sharing your posts with us and making this fandom (and the world, honestly) a better place! You’re amazing and I’m really glad I pressed the follow button the day I did when I started following you! I hope this little message makes you smile today, babe! Best wishes and lots and lots of love,

Esther (itubainaretro) ♥️

PS: don’t forget to hydrate yourself, wear a mask and stay safe haha xxxx.

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-> From: @driesendotkom (Marie)

Dear cille,

the reason i‘m writing this is to simply say thank you. thank you for being such a stable part of the fandom. every time i go into the tag i know i will see you there and it makes me smile every time. i can’t tell you how many hours i spent reading every one of your song analysis. even now a year after season 3 ended i find myself going back to them now and then to reminisce and relive those moments all over again.

i also want to say thank you for being such a kind and welcoming person. you care so much about the people you are close to. you are so easy to talk to and you make the people around you feel comfortable instantly. you brought a little bit of hygge into my life and one more time i want to say thank you 💛

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-> From: @driesenrobbe (Becca)

my dear, sweet, cille! you never fail to make me smile and im beyond happy that we became mutuals! im sure i’ve already said this a million times before but you really do have the biggest heart and i couldn’t thank you enough for all the love and support you constantly share to everybody in the wtfock fandom. plus the talent you possess... girllllll i love seeing your edits and reading your posts (honestly your mind is just wowowowow, it’s on a whole other level of incredible and i hope you know just how wonderful you are). also the way you always write entire essays in the tags of other posts... like you really do take the time to make everyone feel so welcomed and loved, and I’m sending you an infinite amount of love and appreciation in return! you really are the sweetest, most caring person who deserves all the happiness in the world, an actual ray of sunshine! i hope you know how loved and cherished you are, and that good vibes are always being sent your way. Many hugs and kusjes, ilysm!!!! <3

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-> From: @mijnlief (Eline)

Dear Cille,

This year has been a weird one, but I do know that it has also been one of the best because of meeting you. In such a short time we became so close, and I am so grateful to have met you during these weird times. We are so alike in many ways and I love that so much. Our Skype conversations are my favorite and the essays you send me about my writing and just about me being me always make me feel happy and loved. You are the kindest and most generous person ever. I hope you know how special you are. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved this year and for choosing yourself in situations where it got hard to make a choice in the first place. I know I tell you that everyday, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again right here. I hope this post makes you smile, because you deserve that so much for just being who you are. You bring happiness to all of my days and I can’t wait to hug you one day soon when everything in the world calms down again. I love you lots! 🧡 Eline

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-> From: @onzeziggy (Laurien)

My sweetest Cille, where do I even begin? I suggest we should just begin from the very beginning and I’m sorry in advance if this is going to be a long, sappy text! But now that I have the chance (shout out to Rodrigo) for saying everything I want, I’m not able to tell you how long this will take.

So Cille, I still remember very clearly the first time I saw your account appearing on my dash. It was a music analysis from one of the songs from season 3. I was so amazed by it, because I could imagine how much time it takes to make it and observe every little detail in a single clip. I immediately fell in love with the concept of it and one week later, when you posted another one, my mouth dropped to the floor. Another music analysis? From the same person? Who is she and how do I become her friend? After that second post, I immediately started following you and became your little fangirl. I don’t lie when I say I was waiting every week for a new update of your incredible music analysis nor when I say I loved every single one of them (and still do). I know I already said this a million times, but your words of telling what was going on in every clip, about the emotions present in them, and how the music blended all of it together… No one, and I mean no one could have done it any better! I will forever be grateful for those posts and I want to thank you once again for wanting to share them and your talent with us!

After the music analysis adventure, your picture edits catched my eye. I love them so so much and I also took some creation of it for making some myself. Still, I was this little fangirl, knowing your name is Cille, but also wanting to know so much more about the person behind one of my favorite blogs. And now, during this hiatus, I can say I’ve got to know you and I couldn’t be any happier about it! Starting with little comments in each other’s tags, having little chats in the comment sections to screaming about a possible drawing of Robbe from Sander on their one year anniversary. And look at us now, reblogging almost every post and writing essays in each other’s tags hahah! Honestly, it keeps me alive during these times and I’m so glad I can do this together with you! I live for your attacks! Aaaah now that I’m talking about an attack, the fact that you have a dimples post ready is making me so excited and I think about it every day! We both know what’s important in love and life and that’s Robbe’s dimples! But this right here shows once again what an amazing sweet person you are! No one on here has ever done anything like this for me before, so I can’t thank you enough for this and all the other things you did and still do for me! And the privilege I have to be able to call you my friend warms my heart <33

I’m going to end this with a little quote Robbe wrote in one of his Instagram posts. When I read it again a couple of days ago, I immediately thought of you and what we’ve been through together the last few weeks :’)) Once again, thank you so much for everything you do for me and for everyone here in this fandom and being the amazing person you are! You deserve the whole world for it!

“Sometimes it’s like we just met yesterday, but other days it seems like I already know you my whole life, I love you Cille!” <33

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I hope you enjoyed this💛 If you didn't know this community loved you yet (and I don't think that was possible), now you definetly do.

Extra: I'd like to thank once again everyone that took part it this surprise, you are all the sweetest for taking some time to write this and to help me with it! Thank you so so much✨

[enchantedbride]

How Does Joey Get Along with the Other Obey Me Characters?: A Basic Summary

Tagging: @goldenworldsabound, @foreveryours-mouse, and @curiousobsession101

I’m including not just the core canon characters (the seven demon brothers besides Lucifer, and then Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Luke, and Solomon), but I’ll also be including my version of the MC (Kat/Katherine) and an angel OC I made to balance things out to three human (Joey, Kat, and Solomon) and three angels (Simeon, Luke, and OC in question, whose name is Tabitha). 

Mammon: They don’t get along at first, but they do be comes friends eventually. Mammon criticizes Joey and initially says she’s ‘too soft for a place like the Devildom’. But, from the beginning, he can see that Joey has a talent for endearing others to her and offering support when such a thing is desperately needed, and how it can lend itself to diffusing a tense situation. Joey eventually comes to notice how Mammon has considerable moments of insight, skills of observation, and his own underlying softer nature and she encourages those aspects of him. She stands up for him, but she also stands up to him (this is actually true for all of the brothers, but I find this to be most obvious in the cases of Mammon and also Lucifer). They become something of partners in crime when it comes to helping out Kat (MC) in her endeavors.

Leviathan: Things are definitely rocky to start off here too. They tend to get into arguments over their frequently overlapping interests and each others approaches to people (Joey tends to think Levi is rather entitled and Levi thinks Joey is kind of a pushover, and both of them call each other out on their tendency to be extremely self-depricating). I think these two would ultimately have an understanding of each other that others wouldn’t have, including things like need for personal space and issues with self-hatred. Eventually I think they’d get along somewhat, their relationship developing into something more of a friendly rivalry of sorts (still arguing quite a bit, but also pushing each other to be better and push comes to shove, they’ll stand up for the other). 

Satan: These two actually get along pretty well from the beginning. Wheras Mammon was put in charge of looking after Kat during her stay in the Devildom, Satan was put in charge of looking after Joey, albeit with Lucifer more heavily supervising due to not fully trusting Satan’s ability to look after Joey (I was on the fence about whether to have Mammon be appointed guardian for both Kat and Joey, or to have Lucifer take on looking after Joey himself in spite of a heavy workload, or have Satan do it. Ultimately I decided Satan but with more supervision from Lucifer would make the most sense for the story.).  But ironically, even though Satan was put in charge of Joey, Joey comes to look after Satan quite a bit in kind to the point he comes to see her as something of mother-figure and mentor. He is also the most supportive of Joey being critical of the brothers (especially Lucifer). He tends to get defensive if it’s about him at first, but ultimately he will listen and consider what Joey has said once he’s had space to think.

Asmodeus: Joey doesn’t like Asmo very much at first (she thinks he’s a creep at first), although Asmo actually likes Joey a lot from the beginning. He thinks she cute and appreciates her gentle nature and desire to nurture and support others. They do get along better after a time, but it does take a while for that to happen. Like Lucifer, Asmo learns to be more respectful of people’s boundaries, but in return he’s one of the best when it comes to persuading Joey to feel less guilty when she’s doing something for herself and not for others. 

Beelzebub: Aside from an initial tense first couple of meetings, the two of them start to get along pretty well almost right away and become friends. Beel is protective of Joey, and is one of the first of the brothers to be aware that Joey tends to not look after herself like she should (get enough food, water, sleep, etc.). Joey tends to worry about Beel sometimes, especially after he first tells her about his brother Belphagor and the effect the Celestial War had on him and his brothers. Joey and Beel often walk Cerberus together when Lucifer is busy, and both have a great love and appreciation of dogs. Besides with Kat and Belphie, Beel eventually has times with Joey where he doesn’t feel hungry at all.

Belphegor: Joey is initially predisposed to like him but be somewhat wary of Belphegor because of what Kat has said of her interactions with him. But, after she learns the full story of his time in the attic and his subsequent attacking of Kat after she releases him, Joey is more guarded and apprehensive. She wants to be understanding of his situation, but is also angry at him for blaming humans for what happened to his sister and what it led to. In Joey’s version of Obey Me, Belphagor takes longer to be forgiven and faces a longer, more difficult road in making amends with both his brothers and Kat. Joey, along with Tabitha and Barbatos (instead of the MC like in canon) are the ones who work to get Belphie moving in a more positive direction and help him reconnect with his family (including his newfound however-many-greats-niece). 

Diavolo: Aside from being extremely pissed Diavolo (by way of Lucifer) brought her and Kat into the exchange program initially without asking, Diavolo and Joey are pretty friendly with each other from the start. Diavolo appreciates the ease with which he can talk to Joey, as well as her overall trustworthiness and willingness to explain aspects of the human world to him. Joey appreciates how idealistic Diavolo is for a demon, and how he seems to really care about improving himself and the Devildom although it doesn’t take long for her to realize he can be subtly manipulative and self-centered. He plays Wingman and nudges her towards Lucifer when the two of them start to show romantic interest in each other. But, he becomes nervous and guarded when he sees the extent of the impact she has on Lucifer and worries for a while that he might lose Lucifer and his brothers as a result (because they become less evil). But, thanks to help from Barbatos, he is put at ease and he and Joey remain friends and he often implores Joey for help as an ally in his goal to strengthen relations between the three realms. 

Barbatos: Barbatos and Joey are friendly from the start and Joey shows a desire to befriend him. While he is a bit guarded at first, it isn’t too long before he shows a mutual interest and the two spend more time together. They often have deep and meaningful conversations about history and the nature of the Three Realms, and sometimes Joey will help prepare snacks for when the two sit down to have a cup of tea. Barbatos, with his ability to see the future, knows of Joey’s fate and while he can’t reveal it to her, tries to encourage her along her path. After she becomes an angel, he is one of the people instrumental in helping her through dealing with her trauma of having died and been brought back to life.

Simeon: Simeon and Joey get along and are pretty good friends by the end of things. As both have an interest in writing, they both often discuss stories, bounce ideas around, and discuss what makes for a good narrative. They can be at odds sometimes though, as she thinks Simeon can be insensitive to people’s needs at times, especially when it comes to emotional stress. But, he fully acknowledges that this is something he needs to work on. In turn however, he cam find Joey’s impulsivity under stress to be a problem and tries to nudge her to confront it. 

Luke: They get along well overall. Luke appreciates how kind and gentle Joey is, but tends to get huffy when she points out he’s being judgmental towards others. But, she also stands up for him when he faces unwarranted teasing. He’s the most excited to show Joey the ins and outs of being an angel when she becomes one. They sometimes study together.

Solomon: Truthfully they don’t really interact much outside of class, but they get along well as classmates and study-buddies. Joey learns a decent amount about how magic works from Solomon. She’s a little wary because of her lack of knowledge concerning him, but for now the two of them are on friendly terms. 

Kat (MC): Roommates and good friends! Both of them find solace in having each other as roommates at the beginning of their stay in the Devildom and support each other in their endeavors. Like with Luke and Solomon, Kat and Joey will often study together. Joey can be very protective of Kat, and tends to worry when Kat goes investigating in places others might not want her to be in. But, in turn Kat tends to worry about Joey’s anxiety and her tendency to let her stress go unattended. They both really enjoy animals and music, and the brothers will often walk by the room and hear music playing from their room. Wheras Joey plays the violin, Kat plays the cello. And while Kat’s not as enthusiastic a gamer as Joey they’ll play games together.

Tabitha: Becomes something of a big sister to Joey, and helps Joey along with Lucifer and Simeon in her first few weeks of being an angel (teaching her how to fly, some bare basics about her powers, etc.). When she was a human, Joey and Tabitha got along decently and became friends in time. Both share a love cooking and discussing science (Tabitha is particularly interested in chemistry). Tabitha is also really great at making people laugh, and thus often helped Joey (and others) find some relief from stress in the form of comedic discussion and light silliness. 

[cherry-holland]

Dame - h.o.

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Latina!reader

Summary: you get hired to help a certain British boy learn Spanish for an upcoming role... too bad y’all catch feelings 🤷🏽‍♀️

Warning: smuuut, some fluff!!

A/n: ayyye ya girl is back with another concept that, once again, @hazshauntedbelle has concocted and I just couldn’t pass up this opportunity to write it!!!

You were new to London, and man was London different than the Bronx. You didn’t hear Spanish being yelled at from the windows, or the consistent sound of sirens wailing right outside your apartment building. Yes, it was still a city, but it had nothing on New York. London was... a bit more peaceful if anything. And, honestly, you would take the peaceful over the constant noise that covered the Bronx at the moment.

You had moved because your superiors at the law firm you worked at in Manhattan were planting a new firm in the UK, and you, being the adventure lover you are, jumped at the chance. As much as you loved the Bronx and all that the city has to offer, you were craving a fresh start, something to shake things up in your life. You were never one to just sit still and stay in one place at a time, so the opportunity came at just the right time.

However, even when you got to London, you were still craving something new. You wanted to do something apart from the mundane work that a law firm brings... something different. So, you came up with the idea to teach Spanish for all who were willing to listen. Growing up in a big Puerto Rican household where Spanish was your first language, you had vast knowledge, and was itching to share it with these Brits.

At first, you had a few college students come for extra help, with some secondary school children mixed in. There were some adults that came later on in the mix, but you had primarily a lot of younger students. One in particular was catching on really well, and could even hold actual conversations with you. This did not go unnoticed by her mother, who approached you with an opportunity to teach one of her clients. She did briefly tell you she worked for a talent agency in the area, but didn’t speak much about her work (most likely for obvious reasons). So when she pitched you the idea, you were intrigued.

And thus started your teaching lessons with Harrison Osterfield. You had heard his name around town because of his up and coming status as a model and actor. You also did see him in Catch-22, but other than that he was just a normal guy just trying to get his Spanish correct.

But, to be honest, he wasn’t just a normal guy to you. You grew close with Harrison, even so far as accompanying him to a few parties with his best friends and poker nights at his apartment, even just having lazy Sundays where you two would be lounging around in sweats watching Golden Girls.

And you couldn’t help but feel things for him when he would keep you close by when you were out, or when he would always help you out when you played poker because you were shit at it, or when he would put his head in your lap during one of Rose’s St Olaf stories and pout his lips because you weren’t massaging his scalp. The closeness you felt with Harrison was making you catch feelings, but you were unsure of your boundaries with him, especially because you were getting paid to teach him your native language.

“Harrison, I am really gonna need you to focus or else I’m gonna leave,” you joked, smacking his arm lightly as you peered into your notes on the floor of his apartment.

“Oh, y/n/n, come on! We’ve been at it for hours, and I’m dying to watch Practical Magic again,” Harrison groaned playfully, his head burying into your shoulder.

“Haz, listen. If you wanna be that badass, bilingual spy, you’ve gotta learn a second language! Now come on, next line,” you turned to him with a serious face on, eyebrows raised and lips pursed.

Harrison paused for a second with an unreadable expression on his face as he stared at you, before continuing, “Okay. ‘¿Por qué haces difícil resis- resistire?’”

“You almost got it! It’s, ‘¿Por qué haces que sea difícil resistirte?’ So let’s try that again, Haz,” you encouraged, giggling at his mess-up.

“Alright. ‘¿Por qué haces que sea difícil resistirte?’” Harrison sighed, smiling when he got the words right.

“Okay, Haz, I see you, Mr. Bilingual,” you playfully teased, shoving his shoulder lightly.

A blush threatened to take over Harrison’s face as he continued again. “¿Ni siquiera te das cuenta de cuánto te quiero en este momento?”

“Wait, Haz, that’s not in the-“ you shuffled through your notes for him when he interrupted you.

“Y/n, no intentes esconderte de esto.”

“Harrison, ¿qué quieres decir?” You asked, and you swore you felt your heart race.

“No tienes idea de cuánto quiero besarte en este momento,” Harrison breathed, and you took note of how close he was to you.

“Haz-“

“Dame un beso,” he whispered, looking deep into your eyes as he leaned in, and his lips ghosted yours. “Please tell me you want this.”

You felt your knees buckle at the feeling of his lips just barely touching yours, the tingly sensation reaching from your heart to your core. You close the gap as your lips pressed into his soft ones, your hand snaking it’s way to his neck, then to his soft sandy blonde curls. You felt that tingly sensation grow deeper and deeper as you sucked on Harrison’s bottom lip, a soft moan escaping his mouth at the feeling of his lip in between your teeth.

After a bit of time wrestling tongues, you two broke apart, panting from the loss of breath. Your eyes traveled all over Harrison’s face, and honestly, you could have came on site. His hair was now disheveled thanks to your hands being tangled in his hair. His lips were swollen and a rosy pink, and his ocean eyes were a shade darker than normal. He had a pretty intense flush on his cheeks as he stared at you with eyes that screamed an emotion you couldn’t identify until this very moment - love.

“Kiss me again,” Harrison spoke quietly, now-darkened blues zeroing in on your lips.

“No, no hasta que me vuelvas a preguntar en Español,” you tutted, you biting your lip and moving closer.

“Dame un beso, Amor,” Harrison spoke up a bit louder this time as he found himself grabbing your waist and pulling you closely and tightly, your legs resting on either side of him.

You smiled as you closed the gap, this time the kiss was heated, sensual... passionate. His hands creeping up your t-shirt. Your hands tugging at those curls of his. His hands removing your shirt. Your hands yanking his off of his body.

“God, tu eres perfección,” Harrison spoke softly, admiring the black lace bra that held your breasts in place, practically undressing you with his eyes.

“Me? Says you, Osterfield,” you blushed, you giving your own mental undressing as your eyes trail down to his muscular chest and his chiseled abs.

Harrison’s face flushed as he leaned in to kiss you, all teeth and tongue. Clothes becoming scattered everywhere. Soft moans filling the air as hands start to touch parts of each other you had never would’ve touched before. A sensation so strong, you and Harrison both felt it heightening your senses.

“Haz, please,” you whined as you felt his hand travel lower to your core, slender fingers ghosting your clit.

“Please what, angel?” Harrison hummed as his index finger slid up and down your folds, your wetness sliding along with it.

“Please get inside me, holy shit,” you moaned at the contact.

“Alright, love,” Harrison smirks as he guided his length into your core, causing a loud moan to escape your lips at the feeling of his dick inside you.

He paused before looking down at you with expectant eyes, waiting for a signal for him to continue. You nodded with a soft smile as he started thrusting, moans spilling out of his and your mouths.

“Oh, god Haz, you feel so damn good in me,” you pant out, staring deep into his eyes.

“Fuck y/n, don’t do that shit to me. You’re gonna make me come if you keep doing that,” Harrison moaned loudly, his thrusts picking up speed.

“Then go ahead. Cum for me, papi,” you purred.

As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt his dick twitch, his cum spilling inside of you. You couldn’t help but watch him come undone above you. His eyes squeezed shut. His plump lips parted as moans and pants, as well as a string of curse words, flow out of it, cheeks now a dark rosy color. The sight of his release quickly got you to yours, your own orgasm overtaking your body, causing you to see stars.

“Holy shit,” you muttered shakily as you were coming down from your high.

“Are you alright, love?” Harrison asked, a wave of concern washing over his face.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be okay,” you sigh, “it’s just... I haven’t been fucked like that in a very long time...”

“Oh really now?” Harrison questioned, a smirk slowly growing on his face as he tucked a stray hair of yours away from your face.

“Yeah...” you trailed off, heat radiating off of your cheeks.

“Well, princess, there’s plenty of more where that came from,” Harrison spoke as he leaned down to your bare neck, his lips starting to leave little spots of purple with his kisses.

“You know, as much as I’m loving this right now, this isn’t what you’re paying me for, Haz,” you sighed at the feeling of his lips sucking on precious skin.

Harrison’s lips stopped their attacks across your neck as he looked up at you, eyes shining with lust and adoration. “Well, guess my lesson’s over now.”

“Yeah, and a new one’s about to begin.”

Tagging some mutuals bc I love y’all (feel free to ignore if ya don’t wanna read it!) @beautifullydisconnected @osterfield-holland-andcompany @farfromhaz @angelhaz11

[juniperwindsong]

Necessary Monsters (9/16)

A/N: This chapter and the next were originally one, but the length got away from me and it had to be separated. So this story has been changed to 16 chapters (guess that can be good or bad news depending on how much you want this story to be over).

Summary: Better sense is screaming at Felix that this is possibly the worst idea he's ever had, that he's about to undo all the progress he's made. But though his better sense has maintained the upper hand most of the last year, thirty minutes with Juniper is enough to send it packing to the very back of his mind...

 “Allow me to introduce my son, Felix.” The Rosier Patriarch offers the young woman’s hand to his son, who accepts and bends over it stiffly, making eye contact for only the briefest second. "I believe you two have quite a bit in common. I'll leave you to chat."

   Felix twists his mouth into what passes for a smile at these sort of society parties, while inwardly he groans. His father's attempts to facilitate interactions with pure-blood girls are usually more adroit. But with his first year as a Dragonologist in Peru a success and with no plans to return to England anytime soon, Felix supposes his father is getting a bit desperate.

   Felix glances at the clock on the mantle, mentally calculating how much longer before he can leave without disturbing propriety.

   "You are an alchemist, then?"

   The voice, low for a woman and shaded by a light, lilting accent, startles Felix, as does the unusual question.

   "I beg your pardon?"

   "An alchemist," the young woman repeats. She's the same height as Felix and meets his eyes steadily. "Your father is sure we will have much in common, you and I. I assume that means you are an alchemist, also?"

   Felix permits himself the smallest of smirks. "I'm afraid not. My father is under the impression that being pure-blood is the only important commonality between any two people."

   "I see." The young woman flicks dark, wavy tresses over her shoulder and smiles, revealing a dimple in one cheek. "Then we have one thing in common after all. My parents are also, as the English say, old-fashioned."

   She winks. Dark lashes flutter over dark eyes, and Felix takes his first serious look at Aurelie Dumont. 

   Felix knows he would not usually be permitted to sequester himself in a corner, making interesting conversation with a single person while the party drags on around him. His father pokes his head round the corner every quarter hour to scrutinise the pair of them, but this is more amusing than annoying to Felix. For once, he’s in the company of someone else who notices and understands and laughs quietly alongside him. Felix spends the entire evening with Aurelie, who stays long past the fashionable hour, and when she finally takes her leave, it's with the promise of a letter to follow.

-

   Aurelie does write, and Felix writes back. It isn't the comfortable, easy correspondence he shares with Juniper; it's something altogether different. It's titillating, exchanging flirtations with a beautiful, intelligent woman, interested in Felix in a way no beautiful, intelligent woman has ever been before. And it isn't long before the desire to see her again wins out. Leave from Peru isn't easy, but Felix manages, trekking miles to designated apparition points to visit Aurelie in France whenever he has time to spare, sometimes for only a single evening.

   In spite of their mutual interest in each other, their first time together is awkward and unnerving. Felix does his best, but he feels certain he has not quite met Aurelie’s well-established standard; something about her desire for distance through the night and her rapid retreat the next morning. As with everything in life, Felix resolves to work harder, do better, and eventually achieve his customary level of perfection. He does what research he's able, pays more attention to the fireside conversations of the other men on his team, even daring a few well-placed and casual questions. 

   But instead of becoming more comfortable with time, each liaison seems to drive them further apart. Felix began to dread the uneasy silence that sags between them as they lay next to each other in the dark, and is always relieved when Aurelie takes her leave swiftly afterward. Her interest in him seems to cool distinctly as the year progresses. She has absolutely no desire to visit him in Peru, and can no longer even feign an interest in dragons or his work, except to mention rather pointedly in one curt letter how "all that" will need to be wrapped up before they can be married.

   At this, Felix balks. He's always known this was the endgame for the two of them - he has a shrewd idea both families have already decided on dates and divided up holidays - but the idea of abandoning his newfound freedom for a lifetime laying next to this woman, cold and beautiful and sharp as a diamond, is utterly terrifying. Instead, Felix throws himself into his correspondence with Juniper, who points out that Aurelie isn't the only eligible, pureblood woman in the world. She reminds him he's hardly done any serious investigation into the subject, and encourages him to hold out.

   "There's got to be at least one pure-blood girl out there with a passing interest in dragons. It'd be a shame for you to settle for someone that can't appreciate all your talent," she writes, in a letter Felix folds and unfolds so many times the parchment eventually falls into pieces he has to tape back together. He can’t stop re-reading it. The words make him glow. Aurelie's early letters teem with tantalising coquetry, but Juniper simply declares her compliments like established points of fact. If Aurelie is a diamond, then Juniper is a dragon egg; rougher and hotter, a different sort of object altogether, but infinitely more precious to Felix.

   Felix can't imagine Juniper ever permitting a chilly silence to blow between them as they lay in bed together. Juniper, with her easy laughs and natural way of setting people at ease, would know exactly what to say to make those moments beautiful and memorable, even if he doesn't. They're hard for Felix to picture with no good point of reference, but he feels instinctively that nights with Juniper would be better.

   Which is what makes the aftermath of their brief tryst so much harder to bear.

-

   Felix returns to work as usual, but there’s an ache inside him he cannot soothe, like a miniature dragon tooth lodged in his flesh. Unbearable waves of longing and pain beat against him every minute of the day, exhausting him and keeping his fractured nerves on fire. True focus is impossible. He's caught between an unquenchable thirst for Juniper and resonating, bitter anger for the way she’s treated him. After every sacrifice he’s made for her, Juniper is unwilling even to try. He didn't know it was possible to hate and love somebody so fiercely and simultaneously.

   I don't want things to change. Her words kick at his already bruised brain. Somehow, in spite of everything he had done, he still had not been good enough. On some level, Felix knows it must be his fault. He should never have let that night occur. He had rushed in senselessly, swept away by emotion, just as he had the night she'd been attacked. How might everything have been different if he'd only listened to his common sense? The regret makes him physically ill.

   Juniper's first letter arrives a week after his return, and Felix can't prevent his heart leaping into his throat when he recognises the hand-writing. For a few wild minutes, as he finds a quiet spot and tears into the envelope with shaky fingers, he's convinced everything will be fixed. Surely Juniper will be fit to burst with desperate apologies and confessions of feelings she was too muddled to express before. But as Felix scans the lines eagerly, his hopes are dashed. It's a few dutiful paragraphs about Juniper's return to the Khanna tree farm, her reconciliation with her friends, some minor improvement in her hands as she focuses on her healing once more, and her subsequent decision to return to school. She's breezy and pleasant, as if nothing remotely intimate had ever passed between them. Felix throws the offensive parchment into the fire, then spends the evening meticulously reassembling the ashes.

   His late night craft project makes Felix late for the next day's shift, and it’s a testament to his genuine enervation that he doesn't even notice. Nor does he notice the eyes of his Senior Dragonologist following him as he wanders into the Peruvian Vipertooth habitat an hour past his scheduled time. Felix goes through the motions of inspecting his dragon, instructing his team of assistants in a weary, hollow voice, entirely oblivious to his superior's expression of growing concern. It isn't until Felix fails to notice the tell-tale signs of impending flame from the mercurial young Vipertooth and has to be yanked out of harm’s way by a terrified assistant that Luis Rashbold steps in. Barking orders over his shoulder to the rest of the team, Rashbold heaves his junior dragonologist out of the fray by the back of his neck, and half-drags him across the grounds to a carefully concealed paddock.

   The simple covered lean-to serves as a hidden observation deck for researchers and other less daring visitors to the Reserve. One long window looks out over the grounds, offering a splendid view of the team of wizards now stunning the legs out from under the rampaging she-dragon, but the paddock's various enchantments prevent anyone outside seeing within. 

   Rashbold tosses an indignantly spluttering Felix onto one of the paddock's three-legged stools.

   "Alright, talk," demands the bulky dragonologist, looming over Felix, fists on hips.

   Felix straightens on the low seat, glaring at Rashbold with what little dignity he can scrounge up.

   "What are you on about?"

   "Pack it in that," Rashbold scolds. "You nearly had it back there! A blind streeler could have dodged that flame, yet my junior dragonologist wants the aid of a bunch of teenagers to keep himself kickin'. What in Merlin's name's going on with you?”

    Felix rubs the back of his neck mulishly. "I'm just..tired. Not enough sleep last night."

    "Rubbish. You've been shirty and careless for a week now, ever since you got back from your little furlough. You can't possibly be this bad at your job, or you'd never have survived Peru."

   Felix pushes off from the stool brusquely.

   "It won't happen again," he assures his superior, voice dripping with obsequious sarcasm, but Rashbold refuses to be goaded.  

   "It will," he replies coolly,"If you don't get whatever's eating you off your mind. Keep this up and you're going to get yourself killed. And you can't even imagine the paperwork nightmare that is."

    Felix says nothing. He squares up against Rashbold, calculating his chances of successfully pushing past the much larger man and reaching the exit.

   "It's that girl, isn't it. The one you went to see?" pries Rashbold doggedly, ignoring Felix's murderous look. "I can put two and two together as well as the next bloke. She turned you down, didn't she? Or called it off?"

   It's no good, concludes Felix bitterly; even if he were in peak condition, there's no way he could draw his wand on Rashbold before the brawny man knocked it from his hand. Instead, Felix emits a noise somewhere between disgust and exasperation and storms off to the window. He watches the technicians conduct routine scale care on the now unconscious dragon, and waits for the heat in his face to cool. He doesn't really expect his little tantrum to defeat the obstinate Rashbold, and he braces himself for further inquisition. He’s therefore caught off guard when Rashbold speaks again in a voice oddly gruff and choked, as if trying to force a soothing tone through a throat not constructed for it.

   "C'mon, mate. It happens to the best of us. Nothing to be ashamed of. It's hell, but we've all been there, haven't we? It’ll be right."

   Tears, something Felix has managed to avoid for so much of his life and now finds himself constantly threatened by, prick at the corners of his eyes. He wishes Rashbold would yell at him or berate him, even draw his wand. Felix has defences for all of those things. He has no armour for this sort of camaraderie.

   "You don't know what you're talking about," Felix tries to snarl, but it comes out too wet to be threatening.

   There's a pause, then the scrape of a stool being pulled across ground, and the creaking protest of wood as Rashbold settles his bulk into it.

    "Alright then. Tell it me."

   It's neither sarcastic nor saccharine. Just a plain invitation. And words slip out from around the growing lump in Felix's throat before he can even decide what to say. Ironically, it reminds him of conversations with Juniper in his final year at Hogwarts. She, too, had a knack for wrenching Felix's voice from him without his conscious consent, as though she knew a secret password to his thoughts he didn't know existed. 

   To Felix's own astonishment, he finds himself confessing nearly everything to do with Juniper, from his first inkling of feeling for an unlikely fourteen year old, to his arrival at her Quidditch match, and the horrid mess that followed. But when he reaches the final part of the story, something stops him short. Some piece of well-honed propriety simply will not allow him to discuss that with this man he barely knows.

   "I didn't know where else to go so I took her back to the Leaky Cauldron and I...we... had a discussion. I...made it clear how I felt about her, that I loved her. But...she said...she didn't want things to change."

    Felix takes a deep shuddering breath. All this uncharacteristic openness makes him woozy and in need of a sit, but he isn't ready to turn and face Rashbold just yet. He hears whining notes of concern from the stool indicating the large body on it has shifted positions.

   "Nah, you don't."

   Felix cocks his head, wondering if he hasn't understood Rashbold around his heavy accent.

   "Don't what?" 

   "You don't love this girl," declares Rashbold broadly. It's such a strange response to everything Felix has just said that it takes a minute for him to interpret it as an insult and allow defensive anger to rear its head.

   "Yes, I do!" he protests, whipping around to face Rashbold defiantly. The bulky man has his long legs kicked out in front of him and his arms behind his head, in a supremely relaxed manner that Felix is sure must be for show since he can't possibly be comfortable balancing all his weight on that ridiculously small stool.

   "Nah, mate. You love the idea of this girl," Rashbold explains, and his need to appear so at ease in the face of Felix's heart-rending story makes Felix's blood boil. He stares daggers at Rashbold, but the older man only continues coaxingly, "C'mon, mate. You couldn't even name two things you liked about her beside what? She's smart, kind, beautiful? Anyone you catch the bug for sounds like that. I'm not insulting your girl." He holds up a conciliatory hand, catching sight of Felix's flared nostrils. "I'm sure she's lovely and all, when she's not being a bit of a drama queen, but the rest? All that stuff you love about her? It's all made up in your head." 

   Rashbold suddenly sits up, propping his arms on his knees. "Tell me this. What's her favourite colour, your girl?”

    Felix blinks. "What?"

   "Her favourite colour," Rashbold repeats, very slowly and deliberately as if to a small child "The colour she likes best. What is it?"

   It's such an insipid question, Felix actually snorts before giving his memory a quick scan. A favourite colour? Surely that had come up naturally in conversation once, or been mentioned off-hand in a letter? But if it had, Felix can't call the information to mind. Panicking slightly, he grabs hold of the colour she sports in the majority of his memories:

   "Green! She's always wearing green."

   A supercilious smile crosses Rashbold's face.

    "That's house colours mate. Not the same thing.” He changes tact before Felix can argue. “How does she take her tea, then?"

   This time, Felix pales a little. He's seen Juniper drink tea, on multiple occasions. Had she put anything in it? Probably. He's never noticed.

   "How about a favourite meal? Or favourite Quidditch team?" Rashbold inquires, that infuriating smile still playing about his lips. "Do you know where she lives? Her parents’ names? Do you even know her full name?”

   "What does any of that matter?” Felix bursts in agitation, "That's all - that's just...little things. They’re not important."

   "No, mate." Rashbold shakes his head, the condescending smile replaced by a look of uncharacteristic earnestness. "That little stuff, that's everything. That's who people really are. A bunch of little quirks and preferences and opinions all jumbled together. If you don't know all the little things about someone, you don't really know them at all. Just an idea of them. It’s like fancying a celebrity in a magazine. You don’t love them as a person, you just love their picture and all the stuff you’ve imagined about them."

   Rashbold stands, ignoring Felix’s open-mouthed umbrage, and brushes off his trousers briskly. “You'll be right, mate. Trust me. Give it a few weeks, it'll all fade and you’ll be back in business. Just try not to get yourself burnt to crisp before then."

   He claps a burly hand to Felix’s shoulder briefly, dark eyes twinkling, before striding from the paddock.

   -

   Righteous indignation toward Rashbold takes the place of Felix’s regularly scheduled misery for the rest of the day. What does Rashbold know about him and Juniper? Absolutely nothing. And it isn’t his business anyway, great nosy git. And what was he, Felix, playing at telling the older man things he’s never confessed to anyone before? This whole situation must truly be driving him mad.

   But for all his justified resentment toward Rashbold, part of Felix can’t help but feel touched at the older man’s interest in him, his willingness to sit and listen to what Felix had to say. It's a rare enough occurrence. The only other person who has ever been quite so conscientious about Felix's emotional well-being was, well, Juniper. 

   And Rashbold's blunt words suddenly click into place in Felix’s head.

   What if he's right? thinks Felix as he tosses and turns on his camp bed that night. After all, aren’t his favourite letters from Juniper the ones where she talks about him? Complimenting him? Comforting him? Ruminating on their correspondence, Felix realises they hardly ever discuss Juniper herself, beyond her illicit Cursed Vault adventures and his constant admonitions that she stay safe. He’s always thought he knew Juniper better than nearly anyone, that was why he loved her, after all; but maybe what he really loved was having someone who cared about him. 

    Felix rolls over and folds his arms behind his head. What does he know about Juniper, then? Well, that she’s impulsive and reckless, talented, but with a rather short attention span, shrewd as any Slytherin when it comes to solving mysteries, yet somehow oblivious to anyone or anything that doesn’t matter to her at that moment, including schoolwork. Nearly the opposite of him in every way, when it comes right down to it. The more Felix mulls it over, the more he realises the Juniper he's in love with is mostly fantasy, a character he built in his head. The loss of which might be disappointing, but it's nothing he can't recover from because, in the end, it isn’t real. 

   It isn't real.

   Felix repeats this idea like a mantra until sleep rescues him from further thought. And for the next months, he applies the phrase like a burn salve against his thoughts every time longing or grief threatens him.

    Juniper’s letters keep coming; every week at first, then every month once her final year of school begins. But for the first time since his graduation, Felix does not write back. He reads her accounts of her continued recovery and her inevitable adventures and practices maintaining an appropriate emotional distance.

    Juniper informs him of her resignation as Slytherin Quidditch captain in favour of Skye Parkin, thus ending her illustrious school Quidditch career. It isn't real, Felix scolds the subsequent wriggle of pleasure at the idea of her spending significantly less time with Murphy McNully or Charlie Weasley. 

  Juniper is drawn back into the Cursed Vaults, as always, matching wits and wands with R once again. It isn't real, Felix reminds himself as worry for her safety guts him. She's a talented witch, fully of age, able to make her own bad decisions and it's no skin off his nose if she's hurt. 

    As the year draws to a close, the pain begins to fade, like scar tissue closing over a wound; until he can think of Juniper and feel nearly nothing, so long as he doesn't prod his feelings too forcefully.

    Christmas comes and goes. Juniper tactfully neglects to mention their plans to see each other over the holiday in her December letter. Felix feels slightly guilty. It's the first year since he left school he hasn't sent her anything for Christmas, but he puts it out of his mind. She has plenty of friends, he assures himself, he doubts she'll even notice. 

    The new year drags on bleak and chill. For whatever reason, The Reserve doesn't fill Felix with the same elation Peru did. For the first time in years, he's stuck in one place, and largely alone, with nothing to occupy his newly acquired free time. For something to do, Felix begins to write. Publication is a requirement before one can apply for a Senior Dragonologist position. For the last four years, Felix has kept a notebook full of ideas and research topics for papers and even books he tells himself he'll write when he has the time. Now he does. He spends most of his spare moments writing and researching, but his enthusiasm for the enterprise quickly wanes. 

    As much as he tells himself he shouldn't, Felix misses talking to Juniper. Occasionally, he toys with the idea of replying to one of the letters she continues to send. It's been enough time now, he hardly feels anything at all toward her. What could it hurt? Only it's been so long since she heard from him last, Felix can't think of any way to begin a letter without addressing his extended silence, and the reason for it, and all his attempts end up crumpled in the waste bin.

    True, Felix's fire for Juniper has been essentially smothered, his iron self-discipline has seen to that. But he can't help the occasional fantasy of Juniper appearing at the Reserve unexpectedly, concerned about his silence, and throwing her arms around him in joy the way she had after the Quidditch match last spring. He reminds himself dutifully that it isn’t real love that generates this, just a desire to feel something, anything to break up the monotony of time cards and paperwork. But he allows it, if only for something to occupy his mind. Which is why, as he tromps through the dirty snow after his shift one particularly blustery morning, Felix doesn't immediately register the sight of Juniper waiting for him at the end of the path as real. She trots about in place, arms wrapped around herself, clearly freezing. Her head is tucked into her chest, hiding from the wind as best she can in her inadequate coat, so she doesn't notice Felix's tentative approach.

     "Juniper?" he asks in disbelief.

    The young woman looks up and smiles; a lop-sided grin Felix would recognise anywhere. She stomps through the snow toward where Felix has stopped in his tracks. His brain is no longer able to control his limbs, every cell engaged in reconciling Juniper's presence with reality. 

    "What - how-" Felix splutters as she marches nearer until she’s close enough for him to make out the individual snowflakes dotting the top of her head. "What are you doing here?" he somehow manages to ask.

    "Waiting for you. Or that’s what I’m doing out here in the cold anyway. That man from the office - your office, I mean -he said you'd be back soon so I thought I’d try to catch you."

    Felix's mouth opens and closes like a fish, while Juniper shivers and hunches deeper into her thin coat.

    “Can we talk somewhere else? Warmer maybe?” 

-

    A dream, this must be a dream, thinks Felix. He's dreaming he's at the Reserve's only pub, sitting just across from a windswept Juniper attempting to breathe life back into her frozen fingers. The barman deposits two mugs of the locally popular warm, spiced Butterbeer, and Juniper wraps her hands around it gratefully. Felix can only stare. After a minute of strained silence, he pulls his mug toward him and takes a long swallow. The liquid scalds the roof of his mouth. Which has to mean he's awake. Which means Juniper really is here, in front of him. A bubbling excitement brews in his chest that his mantra cannot extinguish.

   “The real reason I’m here,” explains Juniper into her mug, “is...for a job interview." 

    Felix chokes on his second sip. He coughs into his hands while Juniper stares determinedly at the table, clenching her Butterbeer so tightly her knuckles are white. 

    “You’re a dragonologist now, then?” asks Felix once his spluttering subsides.

   “No,” Juniper says, still refusing to meet Felix's eye. “I...wanted to apply for the open healing position here. I’m doing better, quite a bit better, actually.” She nods at her hands wrapped around the mug, and it registers to Felix for the first time how still they are. “But St Mungo's only offers a limited number of intern positions to students out of school, and I know I won't score near high enough to get in. That was really sort of my whole post-school plan, on the off-chance I ever made it out alive. So I'm looking into alternatives, and Professor Snape mentioned this job. Apparently, the qualifications for healers here are a bit lax. I guess they sort of...take anyone they can get, so I thought I'd apply. But... I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

   Juniper's words seem to be reaching Felix's brain on a delay, so she has time to take another long swig of Butterbeer before Felix has processed her final statement.

   "About what?" he asks belatedly.

   "About the job. I mean...I won’t take it if you don’t want me to."

   "Why...wouldn't I want you to take a job?" Felix asks slowly. Some combination of the cold and the surreality of Juniper's very presence makes him feel slow and stupid. He can't understand what she's asking of him. Juniper finally lifts her head fully, her expression unreadable.

   "Felix, you haven’t written all year."

   It's Felix's turn to stare into his frothing mug. He raises it to his mouth, hiding as much of his face as he can.

   "Yes, about that. I’ve been rather busy. I'm so-"

   "You don't have to apologise," Juniper interjects hastily.  "I understand. Completely. I didn't mean - I mean, I deserved it, and... you've had all this to get used to and I'm sure it's really overwhelming. I only meant - you know - this is your space, and if you don't want me to...intrude on it, I won't."

     Pink patches that have nothing to do with cold appear on her cheeks as Juniper hides herself in her coat, and something about her obvious discomfort starts a primal fire inside Felix's stomach. It's a feeling he hasn't had in so long, and it jumpstarts his sluggish mental faculties. 

   "Not at all," Felix tells her. Juniper shoots a confused look at him and he clarifies, "I mean, I don't mind. At all. In fact, I think it's an excellent idea."

   Juniper makes a valiant effort to raise her eyebrows. "You do?"

   "Yes," Felix replies, an almost giddy smile appearing on his face at her familiar expression. He hides it behind a hand, tilted in front of his mouth in a gesture of thoughtfulness. "I think it'd be good for you to get out of the country for a bit. You'd do quite well here. You're not scared of dragons, good under pressure. And we can't seem to keep a healer."

   "Yeah, that's what the director said. Guivré."

   "You've met Guivré ?"

   "Yeah, for the interview." Juniper leans forward in her seat, warming to their conversation. "He didn't even seem to care about the fact that I haven't taken the NEWTs yet, and he didn't ask anything about my marks. Wouldn't even look at my transcripts. He just asked about the Cursed Vaults, mostly. And that time with the common welsh green in my third year."

   Felix no longer bothers to hide his grin. "That sounds about right. That's exactly the sort of person he is. He believes experience is a better teacher than education. So, you've already had the interview, then?"

   Juniper colours once more and retreats back into her coat. "Um...yeah. Yeah, I did first thing this morning. Sorry, I did want to talk to you first, but-"

   Felix overrides her apology. "Did he mention whether he liked you for the job or not?"

   Juniper takes a shallow, shaky breath. "Yes, actually. He - he said it's mine if I want it." She tries to purse her lips over a proud smile. "But I told him I had to think about it."

   "Take it."

   For the first time that day, Juniper meets Felix's eyes.

   "You’re sure?"

   "Positive."

    Both their faces flush with heat at the memory of the last time this word passed between them. Felix looks away first, clearing his throat.

   "Alright. I will then," Juniper says. "Thank you.” She takes another sip of butterbeer, holding the mug close to her body as if relishing the heat or the ability to keep the mug upright, while Felix's brain goes to war. 

  Better sense is screaming at Felix that this is possibly the worst idea he's ever had, that he's about to undo all the progress he's made. But though his better sense has maintained the upper hand most of the last year, thirty minutes with Juniper is enough to send it packing to the very back of his mind where its screams sound more like squeaks, leaving Felix free to revel in the sense of elation blossoming through him at the idea of living in close proximity to Juniper once again. 

    "So," Juniper interrupts Felix's musings, " Guivré didn’t mention where people live while they’re here? Does everyone...apparate in, or...?" 

    "Some do, yes. There’s limited housing on the Reserve itself, but there's a few buildings they've turned into flats. Dragonologists generally have seniority, then the assistants and researchers and everyone else."

    "Oh." Juniper falls silent, picking at a spot on the table with a fingernail, and it takes Felix a minute to understand what her nerves are about.

    "I'm sure I can get you a place on the grounds. In case you'd rather not apparate."

    "I can," she insists. "If I have to. It's not a big deal, it's just...I'm not really supposed to do it all the time, and-"

    "It's not a problem," Felix assures her. "I'll figure something out." He basks in the glow of Juniper's wide, grateful smile. And a brilliant idea occurs to Felix that makes his demoted better sense absolutely livid.

-

    "You sure about this?" asks the nervous young assistant, staring at the proferred key as though it were likely to turn into a snake and strike him.

    "Yes, Lambton, I'm sure and please don't ask again," says Felix trying hard to keep exasperation from his voice. He dangles the key out to the gawky teenager.

    "But...you're sure this is allowed? The Upper Flats are for proper dragonologists. Won't I be out of place?"

    Felix grits his teeth. "Don't you want to be a proper dragonologist yourself one day?"

    "Yeah, o' course."

    "Well, then," Felix cajoles, "how better to learn than to live with proper dragonologists? You can make friends, get extra help on your research. It'll be a major stepping stone for your career!" 

    " 'Spose that's true..." Felix watches the boy's dull eyes light up slowly at the prospect. He reaches out for Felix's key and fishes in a pocket for his own.

    "But...why would you want to live in the Lower Flats?" Lambton asks, holding his key out to Felix. "They're absolute shite, you know."

     "Never you mind," snaps Felix, snatching the key from Lambton's twitchy fingers.

-

    Those Dragonologists wishing to save a bit of money and be as close to their dragons as possible are usually put up in the Upper Flats, an old but dignified building that had probably once been a large manor house before the Reserve bought the land. It's nearly always cold, and not lavishly furnished, but it passes for comfort and the Dragonologists have little complaints; or if they do, they simply move on as soon as they're able. 

    The Lower Flats is the cruel moniker given the ramshackle building just down the path from the Upper Flats. No one knows what, if any, sort of building it had been before the Reserve got hold of it and added on stories and side rooms with whatever materials were to hand, but it now has more in common with Frankenstein's monster than any traditional forms of architecture. These flats are given to assistants and researchers, or any Reserve staff members or visitors the director wants to get rid of.  Lambton, being the most recent addition to the Reserve, had a top three-bedroom flat all to himself. However, once another new low-level employee arrived, such as a healer, he'd be forced to share. That is, until Felix graciously offered to swap flats with the young man for reasons Felix is well aware of and is determined not to think about too closely. 

   Felix has heard assistants complain long and often about how the building ought to be condemned, but he's always assumed them to be exaggerating. Right up to the moment his foot smashes through one of the rough hewn planks serving as stairs. It takes Felix a disproportionate amount of time to reach the top floor, as he carefully circumvents the more wobbly "steps", presumably held in place by magic, but not a particularly trustworthy sort. At the top of the winding staircase, he nudges what passes for a door open with his foot. The wood slab separates from the frame with a horrid screeching sound, swinging inward to reveal squalor Felix was previously unaware humans could live in.

    He gulps as he steps inside with exceptional caution. There a disconcerting number of burn-holes in the floorboards. The walls are covered in an uneven layer of green fuzz that on closer inspection appears to be the remains of old, peeling wall paper. There's a sofa in the great room that's predominately springs, and a simple unlikely mattress is the only furniture provided in each of the bedrooms. But even the thick layers of cobwebs decorating the corners isn't enough to kill Felix's growing excitement. It'll be work, but he's always been excellent at those household-y sort of spells, and it will give him something to occupy his time until Juniper arrives. Felix settles into his renovation project in higher spirits than he's had in months.

    Unable to wait for June to reveal the news to Juniper, Felix starts up their correspondence once more. He informs her he's found her a room on the Reserve, and mentions in passing that it's in the same flat as his, neglecting to illuminate any of the circumstances that have made such a happy coincidence possible. Juniper's response is as enthusiastic as he could have hoped. She makes the expected number of jokes about his newly reinstated status as her live-in prefect followed by a more serious assurance that she's "really glad" to be near him again. Felix is just worrying his cheekbones might fracture from the force of his smile when her next line forces the bottom out of his stomach.

    "I forgot to mention I have a friend who'll be coming to the Reserve this summer, as well! He got a job as a junior assistant the same time as me, so I imagine he'll be living near us if there's room. I've mentioned him before, not sure if you remember. Charlie Weasley?"

-

Chapter 10 | Masterpost

[airiat]

for the detail OC questions! 28, 38, and 45, for either or both your girls!

Helloooo! Thank you so much for asking these questions!! They all deal with themes I focus on pretty heavily in LMNIT, so much so that Fjoara has even answered these questions before in her own words! Therefore, I’m only going to answer for her, and also because I lowkey haven’t developed Morvera very much yet. I’m so, so sorry it took this long to answer–I ended up basically writing a whole essay on this because you picked the absolute perfect questions to ask lol. Thank you so much, again! This was so helpful for my fic and super enjoyable to do.

Fjoara Ebonhand:

~ What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? 

~ How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

~ What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

The driving force behind most of her actions is actually her overwhelming sense of fear, the biggest being what she’s tasked to do as Dragonborn (first dealing with Miraak, then defeating Alduin), and if she’ll be capable of carrying it out. When we look at the LDB from an in-game perspective we view them as fearless and able to do anything, but I would imagine the emotional implications of being chosen to literally save the world would cause an immense amount of inner turmoil, and this is a theme I explore consistently as it evolves within her. The catalyst for this all is her complete lack of confidence in her abilities in combat. She compares herself to the traditional brutish Nord warrior when she herself will never be like that. However, I think LMNIT will see her gain this missing confidence when she successfully deals with the situation on Solstheim, even if her approach is somewhat unconventional.

Later on, though—and you can already see hints of this—her fear becomes more directed inwards instead of outwards. As in, she’s afraid of her own power and its potential for causing devastation. Another element of in-game Skyrim is the idea that the LDB is very much a murderer, even a serial killer, but Fjoara is very strongly against using violence as anything but self-defense, preferring instead to be diplomatic or tactical. In fact, her carrying of Dawnbreaker, a sword most powerful against the undead rather than living people, is somewhat symbolic of this. She sees the thu’um as a weapon rather than a powerful tool capable of bringing peace, believing that the two are mutually exclusive. Of this she has said, “I have never wished to harm others, but the gods have given me a weapon that can speak an end to life with more ease than the sharpest sword, and with more devastation than the most powerful army. Yet, if I were to cast this weapon aside in favor of peace, I would bring upon an even greater destruction to all of Tamriel. Both my calling and the fear within me are inescapable. How am I to cope with being torn between these two parts of myself?” Once she learns Bend Will, however, I believe it will become a whole different story. That’s one for another time, though.

As for how Fjoara’s fear manifests tangibly, she would meet the criteria for Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well as Panic Disorder. When confronted with something particularly intense, like when she went to Apocrypha for the first time, she’ll most likely have an anxiety attack. If it’s something less severe, she’ll just shut down for a little while and become almost catatonic, though you can coax her out of it. Otherwise, she’s just a super high-strung and nervous person all the time no matter what the circumstances are, and will occasionally have panic attacks if the stress is too bad. She presents pretty classically, it’s just the things she deals with in her life are obviously quite unique.

On a less serious note, she’s really not a fan of frostbite spiders.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

Fjoara has held two statuses in her life that predispose a certain attitude to her: daughter of the High King who is next in line to the throne and, of course, Dragonborn. Both of these titles command a great deal of respect and an innate sense of admiration, but that then means an inaccurate image of herself is being projected onto her. This has been a huge source of contention for her. Before she knew she was Dragonborn and was only just nobility, she always felt like people were only ever nice to her because of that. This is what she’s said on this topic: “Back home in Solitude, I had become so accustomed to the delicate and inauthentic manner in which I was treated by my father’s court, and even by those whom I considered my friends. The luxuries and privileges afforded to me by my father being High King of Skyrim were beyond the common people’s most outrageous fantasies, but there was always a part of me who would have discarded it all for the chance at a real connection with someone. To be loved and respected for who I am, not because of who my father is, and certainly not because I’m now destined to become some sort of hero.” On top of this, she doesn’t really have a good sense of self because she has never really received genuine feedback about herself from anyone other than her family, who also have their own ulterior motives. As it is mentioned above, Fjoara at the very least knows what she wants out of her relationships, but she feels barred from receiving that because of her social status. This is why she takes advantage of an out that was given to her by way of being Dragonborn.

After she absorbs her first dragon soul (but before she knew that meant she was Dragonborn) and runs away from home, Fjoara makes a concerted effort to hide herself and from herself, which is why she “traveled to The Rift, the farthest possible hold from Haafingar.” In doing so, she also decides to distance herself from her noble identity by changing her last name and lying about where she came from. She also inadvertently gains more anonymity when she decides to join the Thieves Guild just by the very nature of the work she does with them. Besides, who would ever suspect that the King’s daughter would stoop so low as to become a filthy criminal?

Fjoara gets on really well with the Guild, and it becomes her greatest source of pride because it was purely her own skills and efforts that got her membership–not because of nepotism or birthright. I won’t go into the story of how she joined, but it’s actually pretty funny. Let’s just say Brynjolf never saw it coming. While there, she also develops a strong, somewhat romantic relationship with Brynjolf and eventually, she does tell him who she is. He had a positive reaction to it and promised to keep her secret, which he does honor. This was really the first time that she feels truly appreciated by someone else; even though he knows of her nobility, he doesn’t treat her any differently because of it.

Yet, Fjoara never really finds her identity in the Thieves Guild despite her sense of belonging and the second family she creates there. I believe that this sense of disconnection will be something she’ll struggle with for her entire life. It will be a challenge for her to truly name an identity for herself when she will have to fulfill so many vastly different roles, from the mundane domesticity of wife and mother to the last of an ancient prophesied hero to the familial burdens of nobility, and so on.

Despite all of this, however, people do actually really like Fjoara no matter what lens they are seeing her through. She is very personable, eloquent, and charming, and genuinely takes an interest in helping people, even if she can unintentionally come off a little fake sometimes. The Skaal respect her, the Guild admires her talent, Frea will become her first real friend, and Teldryn will fall so much in love with her. And that’s just the beginning.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

I get to talk about Teldryn in this part! The very nature of their relationship is a mutual, but unspoken feeling of admiration for the other. A sense of “I can’t believe you would choose to be with me because I believe you to be far more superior than me.” For Teldryn, he obviously admires the fact that she’s Dragonborn–that much is inescapable–but not for the reason one would expect. As he is a Dunmer, I feel as if the meaning he assigns to her being this hero carries much less of a cultural significance as it would if he were a Nord. Instead, it’s out of pure wonder at how powerful she is, her resilience against the tribulations she will have to go through at the hands of it, and the amount of cool stuff she gets to experience. The very first admission of his admiration for her was: “There is a growing need within me to provide for her and ensure her safety, though I know she is capable of doing these things for herself. I truly have nothing to offer that she doesn’t already possess. Her wealth appears limitless, guidance and accommodation are given readily just because of who she is, and her abilities in combat dwarf my own—a spellsword, like me, but in combination with that fucking voice of hers, she’s a lethal weapon.” As of right now in my fic, Fjoara doesn’t yet know enough about Teldryn to think any more of him than just that she is attracted to him, so I say this about Teldryn’s feelings for her to help illustrate the idea of her own eventual admiration.

The things that Fjoara values in another person are a bit misguided right now. As I said earlier, she struggles with her identity, and part of this is a disassociation from what she feels it means to be a “daughter of Skyrim,” a true Nord. Inadequacy is something that plagues her and this is highlighted when she says, “For a Nord, there is no greater shame than that which is found in cowardice, but it would be impossible for me to ease my mind of all fear. I still cannot comprehend why I was chosen for this duty when there are thousands of other more capable warriors than I. If I had been allowed to retain my normal life so that I could have someday utilized my skills to be High Queen of Skyrim, then I would have still held on to my honor. But now I am unsure what of it still remains, if any at all.” Therefore, what she admires most are the strong, militant warriors who know their way around a battleaxe. Another reason why she carries Dawnbreaker is to create the illusion that she actually is as such, but in truth, she is certainly no swordsman. Instead, Fjoara is actually a really talented mage. She studied at the College of Winterhold for less than a year, but she was able to get a firm grasp on Destruction and has dipped a little into Restoration, Illusion, and Alteration. Because of the attitude Nords harbor against mages, however, Fjoara doesn’t value this skill as much as she should. On another note, the “skills” she mentions in the quote are her inclinations towards diplomacy, leadership, and oration. As in, if one were to look at her skill tree, her speech skill would be way up there. Fjoara honestly would have made a really good High Queen, but that’s not the path set out for her anymore, and she hasn’t quite realized yet that she can still put these talents to good use as Dragonborn.

To rein in my tangent a bit, as with Teldryn, Fjoara also admires resilience in the face of hardship. She admires the fearlessness both he and Frea displays. She admires Frea’s selflessness and dedication to protecting her village. She admires people who have been through more in life than her and respects the wisdom she can glean from them. She admires Teldryn’s persistent good-humor in spite of adversity in the present and the traumas of his past. She admires Brynjolf’s cunning personality, even if it isn’t always to the best end. She also admires anyone who is artistically or musically gifted because she can’t do either for shit.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Chillin’ With Netflix (2018 edition)

LOST IN SPACE

Really well done, family friendly space opera.  Top notch production values, good / smart writing, superlative cast.

And despite all this, it couldn’t keep my attention past episode 4.

I put the blame on me, not this new series by writers Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless.  

As a preteen, I was in the prime target audience for the original Lost In Space back in the mid-1960s, and that series -- despite its wildly varying tone -- created an iconic show that, try as they might, every subsequent re-make struggles to overcome.

Seriously, it’s like trying to remake I Love Lucy only without Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, and William Frawley.

Yeah, it can be done, but why bother?  Use that talent and energy to do something in the same vein but different.

That being said, I deny no one their pleasure.  If you haven’t seen / loved the original, try this version; you might very well like it.

. . .

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE

Excellent production / writing / cast / performances.

I started out really liking it.

That enthusiasm faded.

I ended up enjoying this new retelling of The Haunting Of Hill House but came away feeling it fell short of 1963’s The Haunting, the first and still best adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s classic ghost story.

First off, a definition of terms (which will explain my enthusiasm fade):  In order to work, a ghost story must take place in the audience’s head.

That is to say, the reader / viewer must be left with two equally possibly yet mutually exclusive possibilities:  There are such things as ghost, or the haunting is purely psychological in the mind/s of the character/s.

Even in stories such as the original novel or the 1963 film where the possibility is presented that at least one of the characters is mentally unstable and is either imagining / causing the manifestations, the book / movie / series must never come down concretely in either camp.

To make it purely psychological turns it into a drama about mental illness, the make it supernatural moves it from the realm of “ghost story” into “monster movie” where the monster happens to be a ghost.

A ghost story doesn’t have to be scary, simply…haunting.  Portrait Of Jenny is a bitter-sweet romance that despite a lack of spookiness remains a bona fide ghost story.

(Ghost comedies such as Topper, Blythe Spirit, Ghost Busters, etc. are a different genre entirely akin to leprechaun / alien comedies where a fantastic being disrupts the lives of the human protagonists.)

This version works well, even though it doesn’t maintain the high level it starts with.  The family dynamics are well done, the performances excellent.

For the first couple of episodes the series tries to walk the line, raising the possibility and eventually confirming that mental illness runs through the family that moved into Hill House, but the moment the ghosts begin manifesting themselves, it paradoxically stops being a ghost story and becomes a booga-booga story).  Virtuosity for the sake of virtuosity also works against the production, occasionally dragging audiences out of the story to admire how clever the film makers are.

It also gets a little too convoluted and overly melodramatic towards the end, however (ghost stories work best at their simplicity.

And it is not an upbeat ending but a really horrific one as the family in question literally consumes itself.  

This version inhabits a godless universe, and the apparent “good” ending is really a terrible one of eternal damnation (albeit not in the Christian sense).

I recognize and appreciate the level of craftsmanship that went into this, and recommend it to people who like scary stories.

But it ain’t what I’d call a ghost story, and it sure ain’t what Jackson would call one, either.

. . .

SHE-RA AND THE PRINCESSES OF POWER

I'm not the target audience for She-Ra in either incarnation.

That being said, I watched episodes 1-3 and 12-13.

It looks good to me.  The story was familiar, but like old B-Westerns it's the kind of genre where familiarity breeds affection, so no complaints there.

Pacing seemed slow, but the design and animation was good, voices top notch. Clearly a heavy anime influence.

Really liked the wide range of physical types and acknowledgement of LGBT characters. Lots of fun with the various interpersonal relationships and characterizations, especially Swift Wind, the smartass flying unicorn.

They did a really good job with this show and the characters seemed more like real teens than the previous incarnation.

. . .

THE BALLAD OF BUSTER SCRUGGS

Well, this one I can recommend whole heartedly and without reservation.  

Joel and Ethan Coen have shown a remarkable penchant for period films and a strong affinity for Westerns in the past, and this anthology film offers a dazzling grab bag of good / off beat stories that range from the ridiculous to the realistic, though a couple of them are Westerns by location only as they don’t really rely on any of the themes that define the Western genre. 

The stories are:

“The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs” -- a hilarious send up of old Hollywood Western clichés starting with the quintessential sing cowboy trope and spiraling into full bore craziness from there.

“Near Algodones” -- a would-be bank robber has a really bad day.  Despite its dazzling editorial style, one of the more conventional stories -- and yet it manages to evoke both classic Buddhism, the crucifixion, and the ultimate sardonic joke all in the last 30 seconds.

“Meal Ticket” -- a Twilight Zone-ish story about a backwoods impresario and his limbless performer, told almost entirely silently except for quotes from poems and dramatic works and the occasional song.  While it makes good use of its Western locale, there’s really nothing in the story to tie it to the West; it could just as easily occur on a Mississippi riverboat, the back alleys of White Chapel, or the slums of Mumbai.

“All Gold Canyon” -- based on a story by Jack London, it’s a look at how hard and demanding a prospector’s life could be (with a virtually unrecognizable Tom Waits as the grizzled old prospector).  The Coen Brothers use their location to the fullest advantage, recreating the feel of what such land must have felt like before the first settlers moved in.

“The Gal Who Got Rattled” -- the longest, most realistic, and most bitter-sweet of the stories, set on a wagon train heading to Oregon, and focusing on a young woman who is definitely not the sort who should be making such a trip.  While we can look back from our safe vantage point in the 21stcentury and recognize the Indian Wars were the direct result of rapacious land grabbing by Western settlers, this story does an excellent job of showing just how terrifying it would be to sit on the receiving end of a tribal attack.  The ending is a morally complex one, well worth pondering, and especially ambiguous given the nature of the story’s framing element.

“The Mortal Remains” -- weakest of the stories, but salvaged by strong performances.  Another Twilight Zone style story, and if you didn’t guess the ending by the one minute mark I’ve got a bridge in Florida made of solid gold bricks I’d like to sell you.

. . .

AMERICAN VANDAL

Yowza!  This is one of the best series I’ve ever seen, and it’s perfect in damn near every way.

On the surface it’s a parody of various true crime documentary series, especially Netflix’ own Making A Murderer.  It’s told from the point of view of two students in their high school’s audio-visual club who make a documentary about an act of vandalism directed at the school’s teachers and the student who is blamed for it.

Of course, as they investigate, they turn up evidence that the accused student did not commit the vandalism, and in their pursuit of the truth uncover several more secrets on their way to the big reveal.

At first blush, the makings of a solid show.

But what co-creators Tony Yacenda and Dan Perrault manage to pull off with this is nothing short of astounding, a fun parody of a genre that raises interesting questions about both the genre they’re parodying and the issue of truth and guilt, while on top of that adding an incredibly complex yet easy to follow overlay of conflicting characters and emotions.

They get every single detail right, and even seemingly throw away lines / scenes / characters get fleshed out in amazing and unexpected ways (for example, one extremely minor character, with no significant dialog, who appears only briefly on camera as comic relief in one or two early episodes is later revealed to be severely alcoholic, and in recalling his earlier appearances, one realizes the character must be suffering through a genuinely hellish existence).

Dylan, the accused student, starts out as a character of fun and amusement, a high school goofball of Spicoli proportions, only to come to a sad and ultimately terrifying end as he realizes just how dumb and dead-end his life is.

I cannot praise thise series enough.  Very rarely will I look at someone else’s work and say “I wish I had done that.” American Vandal is one of the rare exceptions.

The series has two seasons, the first involving Dylan and the vandalism of the teachers’ cars, the second involving a food poisoning incident at a private school the original two students are invited to investigate.  Season two is very strong but lacks “the shock of the new” that season one provided; it’s high quality and entertaining, but not as compelling as the original.

. . .

© Buzz Dixon

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Sebastian

Our next aro-spec creator is Sebastian, better known on Tumblr as @gloriousmonsters and @mangledmouth!

Sebastian is a bisexual, autistic, aromantic trans man who is single-handedly covering many literary bases in producing original aro and queer short stories, novels and poetry. Aside from his Tumblr blogs, you can find and support more of his work at his Patreon. If you have a dollar or two you’re wanting to invest in worthy aro-spec talent on a less-regular basis, please take a look at Sebastian’s Ko-Fi!

With us Sebastian talks about identifying with the role of villainy in narrative as an aro creative, aromantic characters and grand emotional gesture, the divide between representation and self-expression, and some spectacular-sounding work-in-progress book titles! His investment in aromantic characters and characterisation shapes every word, so please let’s give him all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

It took me a while to realize I was aromantic, but it was one of the things that made me go ‘oh, that makes … a lot of sense’ when I looked back at my childhood. I was a weird, isolated kid, so I didn’t learn from bouncing off other children; I learned through stories.

One of my strongest early memories is of watching a poorly made Red Riding Hood film over and over again, belting out the lyrics to the (poorly written) villain’s song, called ‘Man Without A Heart’. Cut to a year or so later, watching the Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderella (still the best Cinderella, IMO), I was utterly fascinated by the villainess singing: ‘Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe…’

I didn’t know, that early, that I didn’t feel romantic love. Not consciously. But there was something utterly, obsessively interesting about villains that sneered at love, who were called heartless, who challenged the narrative that there must always be a love story and it must come out right no matter what. I felt, on a deep level, that these people were like me somehow. The additional queercoding and common side-helping of mental illness helped - or didn’t help, depending on your perspective. I grew up knowing, deep down, what my part in life was: I was the villain.

When I hit my rebellious age, it first came out by my saying, ‘But being a villain doesn’t mean you have to be wrong or unhappy’. I began collecting villains like nobody’s business, and writing stories that more and more often centered people whose character types I’d only ever seen as villains. And from there we arrive at today!

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Recently, my brother (who is my sounding board for a lot of stories, as I am for him) looked at my books-to-write list and said, ‘Nearly every idea you have is a deconstructed romance or strong non-romantic relationship.’

I love strong relationships, so I originally thought I needed to write people as love interests to get that; these days I feel more free to focus on whatever the heck I want, and being aro shows in everything. My current WIP centers a poly relationship where two of the partners are aromantic. Two people (often, but not always, a man and a woman due to my frustration with the ‘men and women can’t be friends’ thing) who are the most important people in each others’ lives and are platonic, show up over and over again in my novel ideas; I start with relationships that look like romances and then pull them apart. Part of this, I think, is due to my autistic ‘let’s take this into component parts and see how it works’ tendencies; being autistic and being aro aren’t cause and effect, for me, but they play well together.

When I write poetry, some of it deals explicitly with being aromantic, but all of it is non-romantic. It makes me kind of anxious sometimes to think of people interpreting pieces as being romo because they’re about intense emotions; one of the biggest ways being aro is expressed in my writing is my constant attempts to show other feelings, connections and relationships than romance being worthy of big feelings and gestures. I’ll sometimes refer to myself as ‘aromantic but capital-R Romantic’ (i.e.  extremely dramatic) because of that.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

I’m sure I’ll run into more problems as I try to take my increasingly aro and queer and ND works to professional markets, but at the moment my biggest problem is self-censoring. I sit at an awkward junction of having multiple identities I want to include in my work, and being … well, someone who grew up obsessed with villains, who later on developed a decade’s interest in slasher horror, and who still tends to write people who are perceived as, or see themselves as, villains. Awkward because I always have that voice in my head (helped along by some of the stuff I see on social media) going ‘that’s not good rep! nobody will want to read this!’

But I know from experience that not writing from the heart (and look at that, I do have one after all!) doesn’t end well, so I’m working on getting good at writing my weird dark stuff and hoping I’ll find the audience for it. And I always leave a little bit of light in it, because I have another voice in my head, still saying, ‘just because you’re a villain doesn’t mean you can’t be happy’.

It’s a weird sort of positivity, but it works for me.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

Following and submitting to this blog is part of my first attempts to actually join the aro-spec community. I tend to move slowly and be very nervous of talking to new people, but I’ve been trying to be more affirming of my aromantic identity lately, and seeking out other aros is part of that. Hopefully I’ll settle in a little more as time passes.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

At the moment, people following and reblogging from my poetry blog @mangledmouth would be much appreciated. It’s hard to get traction with poetry (especially if you don’t write romantic poetry) and I’d love more people to see my work. I’m proud of a lot of what I’ve done, so check it out! Be warned that my love for horror and oddness turns up there as well, but there’s nothing too graphic.

And Ko-Fi donations or small Patreon subscriptions are always appreciated.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

My current WIP (titled either The Night In Wanting or And One of Us Be Happy, depending on whether I go for the one that sounds better or the one that fits best thematically) is about a third done! Praise me, because I’m really bad at finishing things, but I’m still on track to wrap this up at the end of June. It’s about a Weird Small Town and Sarah, a girl with a reputation for breaking hearts, who decides to date one of her best friends and actually try to make it work. Her attempts at being normal quickly get derailed when their town’s general weirdness turns hostile - attacks by creatures from the woods, unsettling amounts of rain, pictures changing when you’re not looking at them and a really pushy forest spirit trying to bargain with people for a heart. Her attempts at normal are further derailed when she figures out that her new boyfriend is also in love with a mutual friend, and that she might not feel love at all.

I love these characters, guys. This story is finally coming together after years and the three main characters - Sarah, Mags and Fred - have always been at the heart of it, no matter what shape it took. (Mags used to be a ghost, and the story went through a phase of being a Band AU of itself. Fred kept getting possessed, and there’s a joke about that in the text now that nobody will get but me. And now you guys!) It’s terrifying to write a YA that’s not only poly, but focuses on an aromantic main character, but I’m determined to make it work.

(This is is one of the most sweet/normal things I’ve worked on, despite the healthy dose of horror. I’ve also been writing snippets of a pet project called How The Child-Eater Became King, to give you an idea of the other end of the spectrum.)

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

I haven’t got the release date for it yet (it’ll probably be a while yet) but I recently sold a short story, Sabuyashi Flies, to Glittership. The main character, Sabuyashi, was originally aroace but turned out to be a lesbian ace during writing. (Characters often decide to come out while I’m writing, which is always fun to handle. I mean that both sarcastically and genuinely.) I’m already working on and off on the sequel story where she meets her future best friend Nathaniel, who is aro. Working title is Nat Luckless and the Girl Made of Beetles. Look for news about Sabuyashi Flies soonish and Nat Luckless whenever my slow butt manages to finish and (fingers crossed) sell it!

[equikin]

Talk about your boyfriend! Also: sending much good vibes your way. I hope everything goes well.💕💖💖💕💖

My boyfriend (@gamkin / @mcistwave ) is legitimately the most wonderful person in the world, I love him so so SO much and have done ever since I met him. I met him over five years ago on tumblr when we were both blogging about Flight Rising (I was a fairly popular FR blog back then??) and I was stuck in a really horribly abusive relationship, I kinda had a semi public breakdown, basically a huge anxiety attack because of a big old sense of impending doom (which turned out to be well placed because some really awful stuff happened the next day). We had been mutuals for a while and would talk in reblogs and tag each other in stuff, but he reached out to me while I was having a really, really bad time- sent me an ask with his skype/reblogged my post with his skype on it? I can’t remember, but I added him and ended up staying up all night just talking to him.

He calmed me down a tonne? Idk I think I pretty much developed a crush on him from that first encounter, I mean, I didn’t think much of it then because I had a tendency to develop crushes on anyone who was nice to me, but I knew straight away he was important and would be important to me? I don’t know how I knew he would be but I had this overwhelming feeling of “they’re important, don’t let them go, keep them close” from the very start. I spoke to him for a little after, the next day I got a bunch more bullshit from my then abusive partner and they broke up with me and I somewhat disappeared from stuff for about a month? Ended up evacuating most of my social media accounts and leaving lots of communities I was part of because of it. 

I had got into SNK (Attack on Titan) that year, and he had changed his name to Levi Heichou, and noticed it one day after it popped up as the “_____ is online” message in the corner of my screen. I basically sent him a message along the lines of “I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT I LOVE YOUR NAME” (because the end of our last conversation had been a while ago and was fairly vague and normal?) anyway, he responded saying thanks and reminded me who he was and... pretty much since that moment I don’t think we stopped talking at all. 

Actually that’s a lie, there was one more time when we drifted off for about a month because he was having some really bad mental health issues (I think it was right after he broke up with a nasty ex) and he popped back and messaged me and I checked up on him and i told him I had missed him a tonne- after then it’s been constant really.

He helped me through a lot of stuff and I like to think I helped him through stuff as well? He got me back into the RPC (I had previously RP’d on forums mainly, but he got me into tumblr RP) and we started RPing and writing together day in day out, talking together about ships and writing and angst and just *stuff* and it was so nice? I just loved being around him, he made me so happy all the time and I admired him SO MUCH, seriously, he’s such a talented writer and I honestly felt SO HONOURED to be friends with him.

My crush had been consistent and I ended up admitting my affections to him REALLY AWKWARDLY and with a massive like, multi para gay confession and stuff (I still have it kbgfjkebgjkbteg) and he responded positively but ofc I couldn’t date him!! He was older than I was by a few years and he was of legal age and I wasn’t so he was very sensible and was like hey its not weird it’s chill sorta thing but dating isn’t something I can do for various reasons.

So I was like!! Ok i’m glad it’s not made anything weird, I was still SUPER GAY but I knew nothing was likely to happen even though I genuinely daydreamed about the concept ALL THE TIME. It was all I could think about. I mean honestly it’s still all I think about. I’m super gay. I love him.

I tried to date other people but the crush was still there and I ended up in another toxic relationship and then after that one that wasn’t bad?? it was with a nice person who I’m still friends with but I never really had feelings for them the same way I did for JD, I think at that point I kinda realised that this crush wasn’t going away, it was way more than a crush at this point, two and a half-ish years on and it had only grown stronger, I was straight up in love with this guy and there was nothing that was going to make it go away. I tried everything to because I was CERTAIN he wasn’t gonna wanna date me ever but it REALLY DIDN’T WORK, nothing made my affections even lessen a little.

I did nothing to hide them either throughout the duration of all this, I was pretty open about my Gay Feelies:tm: because it KInDa helped me “cope” with them in a way? Him allowing me to be affectionate 2 him even if he didn’t return it in the same way was really nice and helped me 2 not just exPLoDE with these feelings. I guess I was also piNING FOR HIM TO BE LIKE YES LETS DATE BUT THAT WAS JUST IN MY DREAMS TERRITORY.

I knew no matter what we were I wanted to be by his side forever? As a friend or a partner I didn’t care, all I cared about was his happiness and comfort and I wanted to have him in my life for as long as he’d allow me to be?? But I knew I’d never stop loving him and I let him know that, I told him that and I told him how much he felt like a piece of me, like he fills a missing hole in my soul and how it felt like I should be reaching into myself and giving him a piece of me in return for how complete he made me feel, offering him up my existence I guess??? It doesn’t sound the most healthy but I suffer with DPD so my emotions regarding my boyfriend are INCREDIBLY intense, so so intense and they make me feel SO GOOD- HE makes me feel so good and I can’t lie about how I feel yknow? It’s me, it’s how my personality and emotions work and it can be such an amazingly euphoric experience being around him.

He finally admitted he had affections for me as well but his anxieties about relationships due to past abuse were way to high, and he never knew if he’d be in a mental place where he would feel comfortable dating, and I told him that was fine, I didn’t care, as long as I could still stick by his side and he was comfortable and happy, that would make me happy too, yknow?

He said he’d give it a go with me and it’s been so lovely, I adore him so so much, with every tiny little fibre of my being he makes me so happy and I honestly don’t think I could ever for anyone like I feel for him? He’s just so damn perfect.

[xxreadersxx]

Hi! Attack on titan matchup w/ a first kiss scenario please? Bi 5'9 girl with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. Introvert. Very protective of my friends. Gryffindor. A bit antisocial. Sarcastic. Childish. Over emotional. Easily jealous. Likes affection but not in public. Would probably be an awful fighter but would be determined to improve. Dirty sense of humor. Hobbies are piano and archery. Speaks a little French. Sings a lot. Thanks! 💕

{LET ME PREFACE THIS WITH A THING: So, I realize I am behind on AoT. I got that (I’ve only watched the Anime, and I’m a couple episodes behind at that), but I’ve come to realize, that I have to write these a little differently than before, I’ll make a separate post for this as well, BUT any character I use for matchups/scenarios/HC will be ANY character from the show, DEAD or ALIVE and will take place (specifically AoT) during their training days/ early on/ AU. I’m a little traumatized (not your fault, completely my own. It’s also the reason this is late, sorry) I always research different characters for matchups, but I always get the worst spoilers for AoT. So, with that being said, enjoy your matchup! I look forward to future requests!~}

Your Attack on Titan Match: Armin Arlert!

This little ball of hope and possibilities will make sure you’re always happy. He likes your feisty nature, and how it contrasts to his own, and won’t ever try to change you. Armin likes that you’re strong and talented, maybe not while fighting, but your personality really drives him to be his very best. Although your humor causes him to blush deeply, he loves that you are affectionate towards him, and protective of your friends. You’re someone he wishes he could have been able to introduce to his family. When you get emotional, he really hopes that he can be the kind of man you would seek solace in.

Staring into the open sky, you and your friend Armin sit relaxing from a hard day of training. Who knew that this boy could fight like that? You weren’t at all bad at hand-to-hand, but he could at least stay upright for a good minute while fighting you. You turned to your partner and smile. He looks over to you, a blush heavily on his cheeks for some reason.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” You question, his face becoming even redder.

“N-nothing! Nothing at all!” He assures, looking away from your eye contact to stare at his feet.

‘Nothing…huh…’ You think. He is super adorable when he blushes, as it contrasts well with his pale skin. You smile.

“H-hey…” He starts, you tilt your head to the side, wondering what in the world was so hard for him to discuss with you. You sat silent, waiting for him to continue.

“W-what do you think about r-relationships while in our … current state?” He stutters through, his question catching you off guard as you sit beside him, a blush now residing on your face, as well.

“You mean as a soldier? Hmm,” You ponder how to say what you were thinking, “I guess I wouldn’t really have an issue, if the feelings were mutual. Although it would hurt a lot more if we lost them.” You respond, happy with your answer. It wasn’t like you hated the idea of falling in love, but being a part of the Survey Corps was a daunting and dangerous job. Who knows, today might even be your last! While you sit and think more about the question he asked, your chin gets grabbed, not too harshly, and turned towards your partner.

Your lips are met with a soft, petal like feeling, and you can feel hair brush against your forehead. Your eyes instinctively close, when you realize exactly what was happening. After only a couple of second, the two of you break apart, both faces flushed. You open your eyes to look in his cerulean blues. He smiles, his lips turning upwards, warm and inviting. His smile was so comforting that you unintentionally smile back. This could work ... right?

[didthebcsticould-blog]

30 days of questions;; cassie lang;; batch 3

ten;;

if your character could choose a different identity, who would they pick?

she’d not really thought about it all that much, and was having difficulty with the question just now. it wasn’t that cassie didn’t have any imagination. she had waaaaay too much information. but this specific question stumped her. who else could she be?

the dungeon master was still trying to go over things with someone else. they were a bunch of newbies, and maybe this first session would just be character creating. cass already had a tonne of ideas, but she kept getting side-tracked by other things. just the idea of creating someone to play as opened up so many doors in her mind. seriously, the problem really was too much imagination. forgetting the game, just for a moment, her mind was wandering to what else she could picture herself as because the question stumped her.

she was everything she wanted to be - wasn’t she? i mean, cass wasn’t perfect. and she knew that. too stubborn, too emotional (so quick to anger), a major procrastinator.... but she was a freaking hero, and she had a family that loved her, and she liked being a student and-- what else could she be?

maybe she’d like to explore. yeah. if she wasn’t so hellbent on being a student, on showing she had some of her mother and fathers brains and proving she was smart she’d maybe have gone exploring. cass loved uni life, but exploring? that’d be so awesome. (and hey, her dungeons character should totally be an explorer? did this world have an indiana jones/ cause if not indiana lang could work). maybe the identity she’d pick would be not to have one at all. to be free from everything so she could just go and explore all the different places. travel in jungles to meet people with lives vastly different from hers, travel to places where she could help out and give to those in need, explore deserts and cities and mountains! yeah. yeah, that’s what she’d do. hell, maybe even explore SPACE. there was a whole freaking galaxy out there.

“earth to lang, earth to lang-- hey! you’re drawing on the fucking sheet, cass!”

“huh?” cassie blinked, looking down at the sheet she was writing her stats on and then giving a sheepish grin. “shit. sorry. i got lost in my own mind for a moment. uh... i don’t suppose you have some more paper? an extra supply you brought for cassie emergencies?”

eleven;;

in what or whom is your character’s greatest faith in?

cassie believed in people. she was good at that. she just liked to see the best in people, and to believe that they were trying hard. that there was goodness inside everyone. or at least, she was MOSTLY good at that. if someone ever threatened her friends or family? yeah, that whole line of thought could momentarily disappear as anger took over. 

as she watched the news report eagerly, sitting forwards in her seat in a way that would make her step-father snap at her to sit back or else she’d ruin her damn eyes. the report was on (another) fight in the city, one her father had been involved in. 

cass believed in the young avengers, believed in their mission and what they could do. each of them had so many talents and abilities - but maybe it was their mutual stubbornness that really held them together. they were kick-ass, no butt left unkicked when the young avengers were about (wait, that maybe didn’t sound so good?). 

but her father. he was the one she believed in the most. and it wasn’t just belief he could save the day. it was a pure belief he could do anything. 

she listened intently as the news reporter described the attack, but then instead ignored them to focus on the images. it was clear the reporter was biased, and that they weren’t exactly huge fans of heroes. whatever. her dad had been amazing, and she just needed to see the pictures to make sure he was alright. she’d talked with him on the phone, but she still hadn’t yet been able to visit. 

she gave a sigh of relief as an aftermath image showed scott lang just fine and a bright grin spread on her features. OF COURSE he was alright. he always was. scott lang, his daughters hero from day one.  he was funny and he was smart, and they just loved each other. it wasn’t that cassie thought he could do EVERYTHING. she wasn’t stupid, and she wasn’t completely blinded by her love. she just believed that he would always be there, and just as importantly, that he would always try. he was A GOOD MAN. despite what some thought. if anyone could help her, in any situation, well then it was going to be her daddy.

she sat back in the chair, grin not quite left her features yet. the fight looked way more awesome from the video and images on the news that her dad had made it out to be. but then he’d been distracted on the phone. when they met up later in the week for milkshakes and burgers they could talk more, and she’d get the full story - with tonnes of puns, and impressions, and actions. it’d be better then, in person. it always was.

twelve;; 

what was the best thing in your character’s life?

“that’s a stupid question! i can’t just narrow it down to one thing. i mean, c’mon eli, what’s your best thing, huh?”

the question had aggravated her for a second - just a split second really, and then she’d calmed down. she let her arms fall back to her side after throwing them in the air, and actually began to consider the question. it was NONSENSE of course. like, honestly, how could she just specify one thing.

“i mean, being born was kind of awesome. i feel like my birth has really led to some of my greatest moments,” she joked, sending her friend a grin. the blonde ran her hand through her hair, her thoughtful expression coming into play (really, her look of concentration wasn’t so pretty - slightly scrunched up nose, slight frown, furrowed brow). she was really trying to come up with an answer.

“maybe the day i first got pym particles? my dad used them to stop me from-- y’know, dying and all. heart problems. that was maybe the best. course, i then went on to start stealing the particles. maybe the best day was the day i finally found out the stolen particles were doing something and could let me grow and shrink.” that had been AWESOME. both of those days. the first time she’d gotten pym particles so much fear and worry had been lifted from her, and she felt better knowing her parents were  slightly less worried for her too. but getting powers? what could beat that?

she gave a groan, reaching out and giving eli a light shove (not like a hard shove from her would move him anyways). “why d’you have to make me think so early in the fucking morning? c’mon eli, it’s too tough for me. i mean... what about meeting you? and kate? and the rest of the team, huh? that’s one of the best things too. i’m not a decisive person - at least not with these things. i’m gonna have to pass on this question.”

thirteen;; 

What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

“seriously? yesterday was the best, and now we’re onto the worst? what, couldn’t you think of anything else to ask me? you know i don’t like straining myself in the morning.” that wasn’t actually true, she was quite the morning person. just not the best at being decisive on these things. plus, why think about the WORST thing? eli just liked annoying her was all.

“i dunno. thinking my dad was dead? that was like-- i mean, it doesn’t get much worse than that right?” course he hadn’t been dead, and that had just been cassie’s imagination running away with her. just thrown in jail. again. that happened a fair bit. she always worried about her dad - he was as accident and trouble prone as she was. it was a lang family trait. 

“maybe the times i’ve nearly died. i don’t mean with you guys. i mean before. like... before before. when i’d never had any pym particles. i couldn’t do anything really. i wasn’t meant to strain my heart and you know what? EVERYTHING strains a persons heart. any excitement or fear or sheer joy. it sucked. there were a lot of times i was rushed to hospital as well. that was scary. maybe feeling so helpless. that was a bad thing. but come on! eli, you can’t make me think about all the bad stuff. can we go back to the best quesiton now? i don’t have an answer but it’s way better than this?”

she sent her friend a grin, strolling down the street with her morning coffee and a muffin. morning meet ups were always fun. the questions? not so much. she was still happy, but the question did get her thinking. she’d had some sucky moments. and maybe deciding on the worst things was easier than the best things. what she’d already mentioned were in her top three worst moments - in no particular order. and the third thing? 

a hand went absently to her cheek, the blonde thinking of the time her mother had slapped her. the hit hadn’t been too painful - but it had shocked her. it hadn’t helped with the resentment she’d always sorta had for her mother and step-father. she LOVED them, but kinda hated them too. and she remembered that slap clearly, and that they’d been arguing over her father. and his heroics, and his job, and him turning up to see cassie. they’d not always liked scott seeing her - but knew she’d just run to him if they tried to keep her away. yeah. that slap was nothing like any punch she’d taken from villains. but to come from her mother? ...yeah. yeah, that had made it a whole lot worse. and to have been hit because her mum didn’t like her speaking and saying things in a loving tone about her dad made it worse.

she shook her head, noticing eli giving her a questioning look. she smiled, pulled a silly face, and then said, “don’t stare. in polite company that’s considered fucking rude.”

[someone-im-close-to-fanfic-blog]

Chapter 12- Written (Epilogue)

Let’s hear some things from Wilson’s point of view. You might want to keep those tissues with you still, just in case.

Chapter Rating: G

Day 6 of...

Spring #7, if memory serves

1926

Been a while since I finally got the chance to sit on my ass and write something. It's a welcome break from all the building and cleaning and harvesting we've done around here lately. Wendy’s knee has headed just fine, but there's a large and very noticeable scar just underneath the patella that she's a bit self-conscious of. Wigfrid and Webber are always trying to build up her confidence about it, though, so I'm sure she'll be fine with it soon enough. She’s quite adorable about it, to be honest. I didn’t think much of raising children before, but I’m having second thoughts about that now thanks to Willow. Wendy and Webber are like everybody’s children around here, and as far as I know their only problem with it is that they’re unsure of who to call ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’.

Winter was actually surprisingly mild for us. I'm sure we all know who to thank for that. Everyone was quite depressed during the most of the season, but they’ve recovered since then. Not fully, but we’re all making progress. Now it's spring, as stated at the beginning of this entry, and so far, we’re thriving. I'm a bit worried, actually, since we haven't received any attacks from the hounds just yet. We usually get one around this time. Maybe I've just miscounted the days. That, and for some reason Charlie never came back as a human into this world. While I’m feeling a bit suspicious about that, words can’t describe how happy I am that she’s gone and that we’ll never have to deal with her again. Hoorah!

Our crops are doing just fine. The bees are starting to produce honey but we can't go anywhere near them because they'll poke us full of holes and bee poison if we do. Oh well. Honey isn't a priority right now anyway. What IS, however, is monitoring the world closely to see what other changes Willow may add to it soon. At least, that's MY biggest priority. Everyone else is still trying to get used to the fact that she's gone in the first place, and on top of old Wickerbottom’s death, too. Can one blame them for missing her? Absolutely not. She was a treasure to us all, myself and Wigfrid especially. Wigfrid especially has had difficulty adjusting to her absence. Before these past two weeks, I had never heard her cry before. It’s not something I want to hear again. It’s quite heartbreaking to listen to someone you’re friends with cry over something you know you can’t fix. Poor Winnie. The good news is, she and Maxwell are on better terms now. They apologized to one another for the little incident that went down between them when we found Wickerbottom’s body and how they approached it. Wigfrid is actually fairly accepting of Maxwell and I now, so I suppose that’s a good thing, too.

By the way, Maxwell made the strangest discovery. The morning after we confessed to one another about how we felt, he found a note in his tent that said ‘Hey-- take good care of my brother for me, okay? -W’. Oh, Willow. We didn’t deserve her. I will admit, though, I’m a bit embarrassed at the idea that she saw us getting intimate out there.

That note isn’t the only thing we’ve gotten from her thus far, actually. Near the end of the winter, Wes had a horrible mishap with some beefalo in heat that had somehow wandered close to the base. Wigfrid brought him in to clean him up, but his wounds were pretty severe, and we were dangerously low on disinfectant. He developed an infection and passed away within a few days. It wasn’t pretty. We were devastated, Woodie especially, until we found some things outside the base the next morning. They looked...I don’t know how to describe them. They looked vaguely like a person’s heart with ropes tied around them, as if to hold them together. They came with a note detailing how to use them, and long story short, we brought Wes back with one. That’s one moment I don’t think I’m ever going to forget. That, and one of the kids mentioned bringing back Wickerbottom with one of the spares. Let’s just say trying to dig up that body wasn’t our brightest idea. I moved the last shovelful of dirt, looked down to see just how far I’d gotten, and promptly turned my head to the side to vomit. Luckily neither Wendy nor Webber saw what I did, or they would have been horribly, horribly scarred. I should have kept in mind that decomposer bacterium existed here as well as in our old reality.

I suppose if I’m to continue writing, I’ll write about something more positive. Maxwell and I have gotten closer since that night. I’m not really sure how else to refer to it. He’s a lot more shy about romantic things than I thought he’d be. It’s actually kind of cute, I’m not going to lie. I just hope he doesn’t find this paper detailing my feelings. Otherwise I may die of embarrassment. We’ve spent a lot more time together since then, but we haven’t told the others explicitly that we’re together. Honestly, I’m not even sure that’s what we consider ourselves to be. I don’t know that much about same-sex relationships, other than the fact that they’re common in nature and that the animal with the highest rate of homosexuality is the bat. If only the world I knew before this one was more accepting of such things. Maybe then I’d have more knowledge of how to go about being in love with someone of the same sex. I’m sure the others can tell we’re together, though, and they’re fine with it. If they’re not, no one’s said anything. No one seems to have a problem with Wes and Woodie’s blatant flirting on a daily basis, so I have no idea why they wouldn’t be alright with something more low-key. Besides, we’re happy. If that’s the case, then there probably isn’t anything wrong with our love.

To be honest, it feels weird calling it that. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just because when I say I love someone, I’m not used to saying it to mean that I love them romantically. I usually just say it to mean more like my brotherly affection towards Willow, or the parental affection I have for Wendy and Webber. Looks like this new relationship is yet another thing for me to get used to. That’s not a bad thing, of course. I’ve just got a lot on my plate right now.

One more thing before I finally put my pen down. All this time I’ve spent with these people has made me realize something. Before I came here, the only thing that was important to me was my experiments and becoming one of the smartest people alive. (Keep in mind, I was trying to steer my focus away from my family since I hated my parents and thought my sister was dead.) I was morbidly self-obsessed, and that’s probably one of my biggest crimes. However, these people have taught me to become more… I suppose the word is compassionate, more aware of the needs and wants of others. While I’m still incapable of interpreting some feelings and emotions, and may not be the best all-around at interacting one-on-one or paying attention, I think I’ve become better with socializing with these people. The knowledge that I can do this brings me great happiness. Before now it was so hard to feel like others actually liked me, but here there’s a feeling of mutual acceptance for one another in the air, and it feels wonderful.

Being here has made me realize the importance of being close to someone. If I hadn’t come here, then I honestly don’t think I ever would have met people who cared for me better than I’ve cared for me, and that would have been really different than what I’ve got now. I would have never met Wendy and Webber, my wonderful children whom I wouldn’t trade for the world. I would have never met Wes, the kind mime who doesn’t need words to be a good man. I would never have met Wigfrid, the wonderfully talented and strong stage actress who can take on any role flawlessly and loved my little sister with a heart of gold. I would have certainly never met Maxwell, the man I’ve learned to love despite our several disagreements over the years. Wickerbottom, Woodie, and Wolfgang have all influenced me as well, and even though I don’t interact with them much (especially Wickerbottom for obvious reasons), I can’t imagine what my life would be like without them.

Point being, I think these long years of living with these people has taught me that you need to have an anchor of some sort to get through the worst times of your life, and that other people are sometimes one of the best forms of anchor that you can get. That’s probably some of the most useful information I have in my head right now, and I think that if anyone were to find this paper somehow and read it then I would want them to remember that single piece of information.

At present, Maxwell and I are underneath a birchnut tree together and he is asleep. Wigfrid and Wes are playing with the children in the garden. Wes has made them all flower garlands and it’s probably the cutest thing I’ve seen in ages. Just to the left of them, Woodie and Wolfgang are casually conversing with one another. It’s a wonderful and peaceful sight to behold, and I can only wish that it would last forever.

Nowadays, I think that if someone were to come up to me today, tomorrow, a week or even a century from now and ask “Wilson, who’s someone that you’re close to?”, all I would have to do is show them this wonderful bunch of people I’ve grown to love like family, the children, and my sweet baby sister, and that person would have their answer.

The End

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Kristin Cashore, I love you, will you marry me?

by Wardog

Thursday, 29 October 2009Wardog apparently rather enjoyed Graceling.~

There's a bit in The History Boyswhere Hector is discussing Hardy's 'Drummer Hodge' with Posner and he says something like (I can't be arsed to dig out the correct quote) one of the wonderful things about reading is that sometimes it feels as though an author has reached out to you and taken your hand. I know he was talking about High Art yadda yadda but, screw that. For me the experience of reading Graceling felt rather as though Kristin Cashore had reached out to me and into my head and pulled out of it something I didn't even know I needed to read. It wasn’t until I read Graceling that I realised how profoundly tired I am of fantasy. I am sick to the back teeth of making excuses for pisspoor female characters or trying to dismiss the effect of constant, background sexism. It’s been a long time since I read a book and felt safe to relax and enjoy it, without going in constant fear of the author dropping a gender clanger on my head.

In case I'm not making it clear enough: Graceling is simply fantastic. I urge you to go out, buy it, read it, love it, and then get really really angry at the rest of the fantasy genre. I know I am. I don't think I want to read a book that isn't written by Kristin Cashore ever again.

In our fantasy kingdom de jour, the Seven Kingdoms, a select few are “graced” with super-human talents, and identified by their mis-matched eyes. These talents can be for anything from the mundane to the outlandish – from being able to swim really well, predict the weather or even read minds. Our heroine, Katsa, has a grace for killing. As the niece of King Randa, she has been trained since the age of eight to be his weapon and his tool. But Katsa also organises, and works for, the Shadow Council – a resistance network, aimed at righting some of Randa’s injustices. While on a rescue mission for the Shadow Council, Katsa encounters another Graceling who intrigues her and, needless to say, the mission at hand turns out to be connected to much larger, much more dangerous events. The plot, which naturally involves travel! politics! and all the usual things, kicks off from here.

To be honest, it’s basic fantasy fare but Cashore handles it extremely well. The pages keep turning, there is action, adventure, tension, drama and danger, and all this in a delicious 300 pages. The world-building is deft and even the concept of the Graced, which struck me initially as being rather dubious, comes across plausibly. Basically Graceling is competent across the board: excellent writing, snappy dialogue, fantastic characters, I couldn’t ask for more. It is a little bit rough around the edges, as one might expect of a first novel – the pace falters occasionally, some sections seem a little hurried compared to others, and there are a couple of things that don’t entirely come off. For example, I wasn’t especially convinced that a girl of Katsa’s age and temperament would have managed to administrate something like the Shadow Council. And I was also slightly irritated by one of the squabbling Seven Kingdoms so blatantly being designated The Good Kingdom Where The Nice Relatively Non Judgemental People Come From, but, truthfully, it was also kind of a relief.

And, equally, although the villain is genuinely terrifying in concept, his presence is a muted one for most the book, until the very end whereupon he is dealt with rather abruptly. The villain in question is altogether a little bit difficult actually. It’s refreshing that the characters recognise him as the villain at about the same time the reader does and I don’t even mind the fact we’re distanced from him, since this is Katsa’s book, not his. But he’s pretty much invincible until the point at which he’s destroyed, which leads to a rather hollow feeling at the moment of victory. And his ill-deeds over the course of the book stack up to the point that it seems as though he’s just evil for the sake of being evil. It’s not that I demand moral ambiguity from villains but when they’re cutting up kittens for shits and giggles they’ve crossed the line into cartoonish. The truly bewildering thing about it is that as soon as I finished Graceling, I started on Cashore’s next book, Fire, and the prologue offers us just enough information about him to turn him back to terrifying. I have no idea why this isn’t in Graceling. It even makes the kitten killing make sense.

In general, therefore: extremely competent, slightly generic fantasy, in need of a little polish here and there. But the thing about Graceling that is truly astonishingly amazingly fantastic is its approach to female characters, and the solid gold gender-issues awareness that saturates the entire book. It’s simply wonderful to read a book so sensible and sorted and safe. Take the little things. During her travels, Katsa tries to book passage on a ship to take her out of danger. She runs in trouble with the crew for untrustworthy appearance and the fact she is so obviously in flight from something, so they take her to meet the Captain, about whom they all speak with affection and a great deal of respect. This is the Captain:

She was a woman past childbearing years, her hair steel grey and pulled tightly into a knot at the nape of her neck. Her clothing like that of the sailors: brown trousers, brown coat, heavy boots, and a knife at her belt. Her left eye pale grey, her right a blue as brilliant as Katsa’s blue eye. Her face stern, and her gaze, as she turned to the two strangers, quick and piercing.

Kristin Cashore, I love you, will you marry me. Thank you for the attractive, competent mature female sea Captain, thank you, thank you, thank you. The worst of it was, until the moment they met her, it hadn’t crossed my mind that the character would – and could – be a woman. Graceling is peopled with, err, people. Man persons and woman persons, all of them realised, rounded, fleshed out, admirable and not so admirable. It’s the first time in a very long time that I had a sense of a world in which any character in it was as likely to be a woman as be a man. That’s so damnably important, I can’t believe I’d ever forgotten it.

As for Katsa herself, I just adored her, adored her and wanted to be her, which, again, is the sign of an excellent female character if you ask me. Given her Grace, she is exceptionally kick-ass, but she possesses enough flaws to be human. It was hugely pleasurable to revel in her strength and her courage, and relax into a book where the heroine can take care of herself and isn’t going to be fondled by rough barbarian hands any time soon. The hero, Prince ‘Po’ Greenleaf, the Graceling Katsa meets on her rescue mission, is an equally successful character, and a perfect match for Katsa. I don’t say this lightly but by about halfway through I was head over heels in love with him myself.

I’ve read a few reviews which found the relationship between Katsa and Po unsatisfying, claiming that Katsa has to be “emotionally rescued” by a man. I didn’t see this at all. It’s true that Katsa is strong, surly and not very good with her emotions, and Po is a much lighter, much more emotionally intelligent character, but I never got a sense of their relationship being any other than based on mutuality. And personally I appreciated the gender-role reversal – the alpha heroine and the man who isn’t afraid of her.

He laughed “You may hunt for my food and protect me when we’re attacked, if you like. I’ll thank you for it.” “But I’d never need to protect you, if we were attacked. And I doubt you need me to do your hunting, either.” “True. But you’re better than I am, Katsa. And it doesn’t humiliate me.” He fed a branch to the fire. “It humbles me. But it doesn’t humiliate me.”

You know, I think that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever read.

Okay, I’m giving up now. This is a terrible excuse for a review. But, in my defence, positive reviews are harder to write than negative ones, and I genuinely don’t want to spoil Graceling for anyone. I do, however, think you should read it and I hope at the very least I’ve convinced you of that. Fantasy needs more of this!

Themes:

Books

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

~

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~Comments (

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C J Morgan

at 18:26 on 2009-10-29Man, you Brits get the best book covers. I went to buy this book, and I never would have looked twice at it, if I had seen the American cover:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0547258305/ref=s9_simz_gw_s0_p14_i2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=04DJ2FA20F5JCARHVJ9T&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846

I mean, seriously now...

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http://ptolemaeus.livejournal.com/

at 02:07 on 2009-10-30

This is a terrible excuse for a review.

If you say so; you sold me on the book, one way or the other! Oh, how I love a good feminist-friendly fantasy...

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Bryn

at 02:17 on 2009-10-30What Ptolemaeus said. Kyra, you've sold another book! :)

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 06:45 on 2009-10-30I enjoyed Graceling a lot. I think my favorite scene in any of the books I've read in recent years is Katsa and Bitterblue trekking through the snow and surviving. I had shivers up and down my spine as I read that bit. A lot of reviews thought it was boring but I thought it was one of most powerful and vivid bits of writing I've ever seen. I really loved the relationship between these two young women.

Katsa's Grace is not the Grace to kill but the Grace to survive.

The villian, unfortunately, was the weakest aspect of the book and the weakest aspect of any book I've read in recent years. I did like the ignominious way he died and the way he was so villainous. But the cutting kittens and little girls was, as you said, just plain cartoonish. And I read Fire hoping to find out a little bit of why he was bent but all Cashore seemed to say was that some people are born eveeel. Which isn't very profound or original.

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Wardog

at 12:13 on 2009-10-30@CJ

God, that is a horribly generic cover - doesn't do the book any sort of justice. I really like the English covers for both Graceling and

Fire

, I think they're beautiful. Fire is a little bit silly - why is she wearing that ballgown and trying to shoot an arrow - but Graceling is awesome. It's attractive and communicates "kick ass woman" without being hideously in your face about it. And look at her there, wearing clothing appropriate to kicking ass. No bare legs and pointless cleavage.

@Ptolemaeus and Bryn - well I tend to prefer reviews to be a bit more analytical but I didn't want to analyse Graceling and spoil the pleasure for others. And all I really wanted to say was "ohmygodthisisawesome*. But, yes, do read it, it's thoroughly excellent feminist fantasy. MOAR! I want MOAR of this!

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Wardog

at 12:21 on 2009-10-30Kat, that's one of my favourite scenes as well. I actually cried. I don't know why because I knew the narrative demanded they survive but they were both being so *brave* and I loved them both so much... *embarrassed* Also I adored Bitterblue. So rare to find a child I can stand in fiction and there she was.

Also, I know Katsa's grace is survival not killing but the moment you find that out is quite important for both Katsa and the reader - basically I thought it constituted a spoiler so I obfuscated it.

Leck is certainly the weakest aspect of the book, I agree, but I thought Fire made more sense of him. I've only read half of Fire so maybe there's more to come but I thought Cashore was going for A Clockwork Orange vibe rather than a "some people are born evil" message. The point is, I think, that you can argue that people are born literally amoral. And the thing is, Leck is born with incredible power over human beings, without any social or moral structures around him. You *would* in fact turn into a complete sociopath under those conditions. In fact, why *wouldn't* you? I think you can probably see a similar thing in Cansel?

It also really helped illuminate the rather hostile attitude to the Graced - I mean, yes, you would hate and fear these people if just one of them could bend the world to his will with a word.

*shudder*

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Arthur B

at 13:56 on 2009-10-30An interesting travel sequence in a fantasy novel? That's even rarer than decent treatment of women.

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http://mary-j-59.livejournal.com/

at 14:58 on 2009-10-31My sister has also raved about both these books, and I'm certainly going to read them, but have been putting it off lest it queer my pitch. But what you have said about the travel sequence reminds me:

I simply love both Sam and Frodo's trek through Mordor and Genly Ai and Harth rem ir Estraven's trek over the ice. (that last in Le Guin's "Left Hand of Darkness") I am half wondering if Cashore could have been influenced by Le Guin?

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http://barefoottomboy.livejournal.com/

at 04:53 on 2009-11-02Long-ish time lurker, first-time commenter.

I have to say, Ferretbrain has been an excellent source of book recommendations (

Finnikin of the Rock

,

On the Jellicoe Road

,

Feeling Sorry for Celia

- couldn't find

The Year of Secret Assignments

in my library, but borrowed FSrC, which is by the same author, instead), and I am

massively! overexcited!

about tracking down

Graceling

as well. Feminist fantasy?! Hurrah!

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Dan H

at 10:58 on 2009-11-02Just FYI, in some countries "The Year of Secret Assignments" was called something like "Finding Cassie Crazy". They changed the name for the UK market.

Welcome to FB

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Dan H

at 11:07 on 2009-11-02

Also, I know Katsa's grace is survival not killing but the moment you find that out is quite important for both Katsa and the reader - basically I thought it constituted a spoiler so I obfuscated it.

I'm about halfway through Graceling and one of the things I've found interesting is the fact that while people *outside* the text talk about Graces in quite simplistic terms (her Grace is killing, her Grace is surviving) the way they actually work *within* the text is actually rather more complex. Po's grace, for example, demonstrably *does* make him a better fighter, even though it isn't specifically "fighting".

One rather wonders if Cashore isn't making a specific point about labels...

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Wardog

at 14:29 on 2009-11-02

An interesting travel sequence in a fantasy novel

Well, there's more character than geography which I think is what makes the difference ;)

@Mary.J

I wouldn't like to guess at Cashore's influences but I really enjoyed Left Hand of Darkness as well. I'm generally not big fan of the travel narrative but watching two people develop their relationship while throw upon each for survival is really satisfying. I'll just add my voice to your sister's - you should really read Graceling. From the little I know of your tastes from your comments, I suspect you'll really love it - at least, I hope you will :)

@Barefoottomboy

I shall just echo Dan's welcome - and I hope you enjoy Graceling. I'm feeling kind of anxious now since I've made such a big deal of recommending this book to all and sundry in case somebody hates it. But, hell, Dan is reading it right now and he likes it and Dan doesn't like anything ;)

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Robinson L

at 15:00 on 2009-11-02

Kyra: This is a terrible excuse for a review. Ptolemaeus: If you say so; you sold me on the book, one way or the other! Oh, how I love a good feminist-friendly fantasy...

I'd offer to race you to finishing it, but I just discovered the library out here has it on playaway, so that wouldn't really be sporting. (Three copies, too, it must've made quite a splash with someone.)

Thirded on the review. Personally, I was just about sold on the title. If Kyra Smith is that enthusiastic over a book, 9 of 10 says that book is awesome.

As for the UK covers, for both

Graceling

and

Fire

I find they look gorgeous until I take a good close-up look at the faces, at which point I feel like I've suddenly stumbled into the Uncanny Valley.

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Arthur B

at 15:05 on 2009-11-02I am not 100% sold on the UK cover. Bare arms out on the tundra?

Really?

Her Grace might be for survival but there is such a thing as tempting fate.

That said, I am a sucker for narratives about people freezing to death so I will pick it up anyway.

The Left Hand of Darkness

, the ending of

Frankenstein

,

The South Side of the Sky

by Yes...

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Niall

at 17:15 on 2009-11-02Opinions do vary on the UK cover. Since having it

pointed out

to me that the sword wouldn't fit into the sheath, it's all I can see. (Well, that and the similarity to Justina Robson's Quantum Gravity covers.)

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Rami

at 19:29 on 2009-11-02

(Well, that and the similarity to Justina Robson's Quantum Gravity covers.)

Ah, but the Quantum Gravity covers are consistent on both sides of the pond...

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http://barefoottomboy.livejournal.com/

at 04:20 on 2009-11-03@Dan and Kyra: thanks for the welcome!

@Dan: yup, it's called

Finding Cassie Crazy

in Australia, it was just that someone had borrowed it last time I checked the library.

@Kyra: Well, I read

Jellicoe Road

on your strong recommendation and absolutely loved it, so I wouldn't worry. :-)

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Wardog

at 10:31 on 2009-11-04"That is a mighty big sword you have there, little lady.."

Sigh. Now I'm obsessing about it too, damn you Niall. But at least the UK cover says something - even if what it says is "impractical kick-ass chick", whereas the US cover says "blah."

To be fair, I quite like the Quantum Gravity covers as well...I guess I'm a little bit primitive in my tastes.

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Niall

at 12:15 on 2009-11-04

consistent on both sides of the pond.

Not completely: in the US, the

first book

comes with

extra man

. (Er, apologies for wandering completely off-topic.)

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Wardog

at 12:43 on 2009-11-04No worries - but that's actually kind of weird. Did they think the US wouldn't be into a book that didn't have sufficient man in it? Is that supposed to be Zal do you think?

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Arthur B

at 12:50 on 2009-11-04For me it's not the size of the sword which is distracting - I could write that off as dodgy perspective.

It's the fact that she's got a straight sword but her scabbard is

clearly curved

which, to me, is definitive proof that the artist just wasn't thinking things through.

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Guy

at 15:13 on 2009-11-04Just playing devil's advocate here, but, could the curve of the scabbard be explained by it being made of leather and hence, liable to bend in the middle when it doesn't have a sword in it? Actually, I can't convince myself that that's what it is. The base of the blade appears to be twice the width of the scabbard. Actually, maybe it's better not to focus too much on the details - as an overall composition, the picture works for me.

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Robinson L

at 22:36 on 2009-11-16It didn't strike me as generic, exactly. There's a weird fantasy category in my head that seems to be neither stereotypical nor particularly imaginative - it's sort of a fantasy neutral to my way of thinking.

Graceling

fits in that category. (Similarly, the story itself struck me as okay-edging-to-really-good-at-times.)

This is the Captain

And she is indeed quite badass, considering what she was willing to put herself and her crew through if necessary.

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Wardog

at 11:09 on 2009-11-17To be honest, I don't think that's a simple distinction to make. I mean, I've read plenty of absolutely excellent, thoroughly imaginative fantasy novels that were also quite defined by genre tropes, but equally stuff that has been touted as amazingly 'original' has ended up being quite disappointing, and actually not that original. The point being that there's nothing actually inherently wrong about working within your genre, it's just "original" has an implicit value judgement of "better" attached to it.

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Robinson L

at 15:00 on 2009-11-18Crap! Loginfail seems to've eaten the rest of my comment.

To explain what I've already said: I wasn't attempting to tie the two thoughts together. I just said that the setting struck me as neither generic nor imaginative, I consider it neutral on that axis. Then I happened to mention that additionally, the storyline for me occupies a similar position on the entertaining/meaningful axis. I did not mean to imply that the two axes are interchangeable.

Now as to what I'd intend to say earlier: I also felt that Katsa's and Po's relationship worked quite well. I think Cashore gave them just enough buildup to make the payoff truly satisfying, but not so much as to have the sexual tension between them wear out its welcome. I was also very pleased that finding the Right Guy for her did not at all change her attitudes toward either marriage or motherhood. I love how she's able to find love without contorting herself to fit her man's desires/society's expectations of her.

On the other hand, I kinda wish Cashore had given us a better sense of the cultural context of the seven kingdoms so I could have a clearer idea of why it didn't even

occur

to Katsa that she could sleep with Po without marrying him. Preferably, something other than “Katsa is a bit of dunce.”

The other thing I wanted to say was that while the female characters in

Graceling

were great, in terms of sheer numbers they were rather crowded out (or should I say “swamped”) by the male supporting cast. I do hope

Fire

has a more egalitarian f/m breakdown.

And does anyone else get a relationship vibe between Katsa's cousin (Raffan? Rathan?) and his assistant, Ban?

I don't have much evidence, just this nagging suspicion I developed in that scene where Katsa asks him “you're not in love with me too, are you?” and they both burst out laughing—almost as though they're sharing a private joke. And otherwise, Ban seems completely extraneous to the plot. Plus there's the speculative fiction rule which states that any suitable member of the other sex

not

madly in love with the protagonist must already be engaged in a loving relationship, or gay, or both.

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Wardog

at 15:13 on 2009-11-18Just the idea of an axis, or rather axes, is totally alien to me - in the sense that it's not the way I would choose to look at a text. Also why is being entertaining opposed to being meaningful, I found Graceling both entertaining and meaningful.

I noticed a balance in the gender of the suppporting but then I don't think I was counting. What mattered to me than quantity was that each of the female characters were whole human beings, with non-stereotypical roles to play.

And, yes, I think it's pretty clear that Raffin and Ban are gay.

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Dan H

at 17:29 on 2009-11-18Playing numbers games with gender is always a bit difficult because not all fictional characters are created equal.

I'd also suggest that the mostly-male supporting cast is, in the case of Graceling, actually extremely important. One of the big features of Katsa's emotional development is that she grew up in a male-dominated society surrounded almost entirely by men.

The way Graceling deals with gender issues is actually quite subtle and complex, and there are very few characters whose gender is accidental or arbitrary.

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Robinson L

at 22:02 on 2009-11-18Well Kyra, I guess we just think about these things a little differently.

I did not, however, intend to create a dichotomy between "entertaining" and "meaningful" (I really must take more care when writing these comments). I guess the term I was reaching for might better be described as "story quality," and instead of saying that, I came up with "entertaining

and/or

meaningful."

The imbalance is perhaps a bit more noticeable in a full casted audio dramatization. While I agree that fully realized and well-developed female characters are preferable to large numbers of female characters, I feel that both would be better still.

As you say Dan, not all fictional characters are created equal. Looked at in that light, the most important supporting female character is a prepubescent girl who strikes me as more than a little Mary-Sueish (not that I dislike her, but tell me she isn't a little

too

perfect). Compared to a fistful of equally important (or near enough) supporting male characters.

I can accept the argument that Cashore may have weighted the scale so heavily on the male side as part of the novel's discourse. If so, though, I hope she doesn't try pulling something similar in

Fire

, as I don't see what good rehashing the same territory she explored in

Graceling

would do.

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 10:27 on 2009-11-19

<q>not that I dislike her, but tell me she isn't a little too perfect</q>

I love Bitterblue!

But yes, she is a bit too perfect as well. :) I never quite grasped exactly how she was able to resist her father's influence so thoroughly. It would have been a different thing if Bitterblue remembered

seeing

her mother being killed by him; and then she'd have a visual weapon to use whenever he tried his Jedi powers on her. As it is, she's just speshul that way. :p

Still... I really love Bitterblue and I'm looking forward to the book with her as the main character. Does it count when you don't

mind

that the character is perfect?

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 10:28 on 2009-11-19

not that I dislike her, but tell me she isn't a little too perfect

I love Bitterblue!

But yes, she is a bit too perfect as well. :) I never quite grasped exactly how she was able to resist her father's influence so thoroughly. (It would have been a different thing if Bitterblue remembered

seeing

her mother being killed by him; and then she'd have a visual weapon to use whenever he tried his Jedi powers on her.)

Still... I really love Bitterblue and I'm looking forward to the book with her as the main character. Does it count when you don't

mind

that the character is perfect?

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Wardog

at 11:07 on 2009-11-19Kat, agreed - I adore Bitterblue too. She is incredibly brave and incredibly strong but I didn't get too much of a Mary-Sue perfection vibe from her, to be honest. She's also tired, fretful, snappy, and hindered in all things by the fact she's a child with only limited strength and understanding. But, yes, I can't wait for Bitterblue either - I'm especially to see Cashore write a heroine without special powers of any kind.

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Dan H

at 11:21 on 2009-11-19

I can accept the argument that Cashore may have weighted the scale so heavily on the male side as part of the novel's discourse. If so, though, I hope she doesn't try pulling something similar in Fire, as I don't see what good rehashing the same territory she explored in Graceling would do.

Umm ... I'm not sure what you're saying here.

The "territory" Cashore explores in Graceling can broadly be described as "being a woman". One might think there was enough material there to sustain two books, possibly even three?

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Robinson L

at 15:30 on 2009-11-19I love Bitterblue as well. However, it seems to me her incredible empathy, intelligence (heck, even wisdom) and stoicism vastly overshadow her flaws. As far as I'm concerned, a Mary-Sue is still a Mary-Sue, even if you don't mind that the character is too perfect. (I quite liked Jenny, the Doctor's Daughter from the

Doctor Who

episode of the same title, but she was still an incredible Mary-Sue.)

The "territory" Cashore explores in Graceling can broadly be described as "being a woman". One might think there was enough material there to sustain two books, possibly even three?

Tut-tut, my good man. Four, surely. Maybe five, at the outside.

But I was responding to your thesis that the specific way she explored "being a woman" in

Graceling

was one which required a majority-male supporting cast. And I say that if so, well enough, but if her next book just so happens also to have a majority-male supporting cast, I'll be more inclined to get disappointed/irritated.

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Arthur B

at 18:16 on 2009-11-19

I love Bitterblue as well. However, it seems to me her incredible empathy, intelligence (heck, even wisdom) and stoicism vastly overshadow her flaws. As far as I'm concerned, a Mary-Sue is still a Mary-Sue, even if you don't mind that the character is too perfect.

By this logic any character whose positive qualities outweigh their flaws is a Mary Sue.

What's wrong with having a character who is smart, empathetic, and stoic? Such people do exist in the real world.

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Dan H

at 19:03 on 2009-11-19

But I was responding to your thesis that the specific way she explored "being a woman" in Graceling was one which required a majority-male supporting cast. And I say that if so, well enough, but if her next book just so happens also to have a majority-male supporting cast, I'll be more inclined to get disappointed/irritated.

Okay, let me put this more specifically.

What Kristin Cashore explores in Graceling is the experience of growing up as a woman in a male-dominated society. This pretty much by definition requires a large supporting cast of men if you are going to do it properly. This is because "society" is actually quite complicated, and in order to explore it properly you need several well realised characters to speak and act for it.

As I said earlier, I cannot thing of a single member of the supporting cast who would have been better off as a woman. Worse, I cannot think of a single member of the character who, had they been a woman, would not have utterly undermined the point of the book or - worse - just been flat out sexist.

Raffin: Heir to the throne. Again, patriarchal society, you can't have the heir to the throne be a woman.

Bann: Exists purely as Raffin's lover. Making him female would have been actively sexist.

Giddon: Very specifically represents the element of patriarchy that will attempt to control women by trying to protect them. Your classic "Nice Guy" if you wish.

Po: Contrary to what Joss Whedon may think, lesbianism is not inherently better than heterosexuality. Either way coming to terms with your sexuality is an important part of growing up whatever your sex.

Grandfather Tealiff: Spends the entire book being rescued or passing out. This is another character it would be *actively sexist* to recast as female.

Spymaster Dude: So unimportant I can't even remember his name, and see Raffin re: patriarchy.

Leck: Utterly corrupt, the living embodiment of the dangers of power and privilege. Make him female and you're saying "women can't be trusted with power".

Randa: Like leck, but smaller and meaner. Again the fact that he's a man is sort of integral to the book.

Basically Cashore's books contain a lot of men because she is writing specifically about being a woman in a patriarchal society. If you would be "disappointed" to find a similar setup in Fire this implies one of three things:

1) You believe that "being a woman in a patriarchal society" isn't worth writing about.

2) You believe that "being a woman in a patriarchal society" is worth writing about, but it is not something you, personally, are interested in reading about.

3) You believe that "being a woman in a patriarchal society" is worth writing about, and it is something that you are interested in reading about, but you believe that Cashore should write about it in a different way.

(1) and (2) are basically the same thing, and if you genuinely feel that way it's fine. You and I are not the target audience for this book. It is a book by a woman, about a woman, for women, it's totally okay to decide that a book like that hasn't got much to offer you. If it's (3) then ... well as a man, I'm not sure I would be comfortable passing judgment on the way a woman chooses to write about the experience of being a woman.

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Melissa G.

at 23:59 on 2009-11-19I think part of the problem, and I've experienced this too (most of my characters end up male and I've always kind of wondered why), is that often a reader judges a female character more harshly than a male character. It might be because we assume they represent all women, and thus we have to ask ourselves, "What is the author saying about women by having this character?" even if there are other females in the book. There are also far more stigmas attached to woman, I think. For example, if you had a character who was sharp-tongued and didn't take sh*t from anyone, as a man, he comes off kick-ass, as a woman, you run the risk of her coming off as a bitch. It's not fair, but it can happen. Even just as a character, women tend to get pigeonholed a bit. I'm not saying its right, or an excuse for lacking in female characters; I'm just saying that the problem exists.

I hope that made some sort of sense. I feel I'm rambling.

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Robinson L

at 00:02 on 2009-11-20Sorry, Arthur, I must not have made myself clear. I didn't mean to suggest that

because

Bitterblue is smart, empathetic, and stoic, she's a Mary-Sue. I meant that the

amount of intelligence (wisdom even), empathy, and stoicism

she displays in the book (which is a

lot

) make her a Mary-Sue. I might not have been so quick to label her a Mary-Sue were she an adult (as you say, such people do exist in the real world) but a twelve-year-old girl displaying that kind of selflessness and maturity strains my willing suspension of disbelief.

Possibly she's supposed to have matured quickly due to Leck's (attempted) abuse, but even if I were prepared to accept such a scenario, I never got the sense that his mistreatment of Bitterblue or her mother was anywhere near that traumatic for her.

Dan, thank you for the explanation, that clears I few things up.

I won't question your analysis of the characters, Dan (although I'm enough of a pedant to point out that your argument for Raffin is complete nonsense, as European history demonstrates quite clearly. Are you suggesting that Moncey with its Queen Bitterblue isn't patriarchal?). However, I think we're looking at the book from opposite directions. You're looking at the characters who're already there and how they work. I'm looking at the characters who

aren't

there but

could have

been. What about the characters who would have worked better just as well or better as women? Why weren't they included?

I can think of two possible reasons:

1) The specific discourse of "being a woman in a patriarchal society" Kristin Cashore was writing in required that most, if not all, of the major supporting characters be male.

2) Writing about "being a woman in a patriarchal society"

by its very nature

requires that most, if not all, of the major supporting characters be male.

If (2) is the case, then I'm going to need to see a really good argument for why it should be so. If (1) is the case, though, then it suggests to me that there are other ways of writing about "being a woman in a patriarchal society" where having a more equal gender balance of well-realized major supporting characters would be nondetrimental to and maybe even enhance the discourse.

Further, if (1) is correct, that would suggest to me that another book with a similarly male-dominant supporting cast would fall into the same narrow range of subdiscourse of "being a woman in a patriarchal society" in which

Graceling

resides. (I realize this doesn't necessarily follow, but it seems likely.) That's where my line about "rehashing old territory" is coming from.

Of course, must disappointment in that case is not Cashore's problem, nor does it mean that I would dislike the book, probably. Nor am I trying to say what Cashore

should

do, just what I think she could do and what I would

like

her to do. As you point out, it's not my business to tell her what to do; but neither is it my business specifically to refrain from asking if she couldn't say what she needs to say with a larger female supporting cast, and whether that might not be even better.

(I guess partially, I'm hypersensitive due to a regular bombardment of stories - even really good stories - with tokenized and/or marginalized female casts because male characters are just the default. I'm pretty thoroughly convinced that Cashore's smarter than that, but that still doesn't tell me why she also considers majority-male casts a necessity.)

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Niall

at 00:05 on 2009-11-20

Make him female and you're saying "women can't be trusted with power".

I don't agree with this logic; if you have a large cast with diverse roles for women in it, you're not saying anything about women in general by having character x be a woman.

I do agree with the general point that the balance of the cast in Graceling supports the argument being made; I would disagree with your implicit point that it's the only way, or even necessarily the most effective way, to make that argument.

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Sonia Mitchell

at 00:07 on 2009-11-20Haven't read the book, but I do think arguments like

Leck: Utterly corrupt, the living embodiment of the dangers of power and privilege. Make him female and you're saying "women can't be trusted with power".

are pretty dangerous. The whole "when you're wearing school uniform you represent the entire school" mode of thought is very prickly after all. To go back to xkcd, see

How It Works

. The problem isn't with the girl who can't do maths, it's with the guy who sees that she can't do something and applies it to all girls.

Saying that one shouldn't cast a woman in a role which reinforces a sexist stereotype because there are readers who will apply this to all women just seems to be catering to that type of person. If I want to write a novel about a woman who can't do maths then that should be fine - I shouldn't have to second-guess the reader and decide I'll write it about a girl who can't arrange flowers nicely enough.

Which is to say, I don't think casting a woman in the position of a powerful corrupt spymaster would be sexist unless one reads it expecting women to represent their sex (Or, indeed, unless the writer genuinely believes women can't be trusted with power, in which case we'd have bigger problems).

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Sonia Mitchell

at 00:09 on 2009-11-20Cross-posted with Niall there. Jinx, as the pre-teens were saying back when I was one.

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Arthur B

at 00:12 on 2009-11-20

I won't question your analysis of the characters, Dan (although I'm enough of a pedant to point out that your argument for Raffin is complete nonsense, as European history demonstrates quite clearly.

Would that be the European history during which the nobility have practised male-preference primogeniture pretty much exclusively up to the present day?

2) Writing about "being a woman in a patriarchal society" by its very nature requires that most, if not all, of the major supporting characters be male. If (2) is the case, then I'm going to need to see a really good argument for why it should be so.

How about "male dominated societies make it inherently difficult, if not impossible, for women to attain any degree of power and agency, and there's only so many powerless, agencyless characters you can fit into a fantasy adventure story?"

Or perhaps "by having most noteworthy individuals that Katsa meets be male, Cashore underlines the point that wherever you turn in Katsa's world most of the folks calling the shots are dudes?"

Either seems applicable in this case. I am sure there are more.

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Melissa G.

at 00:32 on 2009-11-20

Saying that one shouldn't cast a woman in a role which reinforces a sexist stereotype because there are readers who will apply this to all women just seems to be catering to that type of person. If I want to write a novel about a woman who can't do maths then that should be fine - I shouldn't have to second-guess the reader and decide I'll write it about a girl who can't arrange flowers nicely enough.

I agree. I do feel that it's unfair that writers feel they can't write a female character who is, say, demure and emotional and can't fight just because people will get all upset and start accusing them of being sexist. Girls like that exist. Girls of all kinds exist! I think what's important is representing a variety of female characters - weak, strong, whatever. My friend and I always complain how just because a girl likes shopping or dressing up and doing her make-up doesn't make her a moron. If a female character is well-rounded and multi-faceted, I usually jump up and do a dance because it doesn't happen as often as it should.

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Sonia Mitchell

at 00:52 on 2009-11-20I didn't mean to rehash your point - I think quite a few of us were posting at the same time :-)

My friend and I always complain how just because a girl likes shopping or dressing up and doing her make-up doesn't make her a moron. If a female character is well-rounded and multi-faceted, I usually jump up and do a dance because it doesn't happen as often as it should.

Yes, this exactly. I agree that it's a problem if people only write about women behaving in a certain way (ie. shopping) because that's all they think women can do. However it's equally a problem if critics say that you should *never* write about a woman who shops because of sexism.

It's still holding women to a different standard, because male characters are seen as individuals while female ones have the weight of representing the sisterhood. It's just this time it's done under the banner of being progressive.

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Melissa G.

at 00:54 on 2009-11-20

I didn't mean to rehash your point - I think quite a few of us were posting at the same time :-)

No worries. :-) Yeah, I think we all just jumped there all at once.

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Sonia Mitchell

at 00:57 on 2009-11-20It's like the Okavango here. Once one brave wildebeest decides to cross the river, the rest all follow together.

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Rami

at 03:04 on 2009-11-20

It's like the Okavango here.

I love that simile.

My friend and I always complain how just because a girl likes shopping or dressing up and doing her make-up doesn't make her a moron.

I have to admit that I have frequently been guilty of looking down on women who like those kinds of things ☹ I think a problem is that our brains

may not be able to deal with lots of different people

, and so unless you know someone who really challenges the norms it's far too easy to just use stereotypes as handy guidelines. I know I found it much harder to stereotype women who like to shop after I met someone who loves malls and dressing up and doing her nails... and happens to be a quantum physicist whose day job is miles outside my comprehension.

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Leia

at 03:43 on 2009-11-20

Would that be the European history during which the nobility have practised male-preference primogeniture pretty much exclusively up to the present day?

What about the Marys, the Elizabeths and the eternal Victoria? I'm always very wary of people using historical context to explain why there were no women in power in the "old days" or no Blacks outside Africa. Most of the time, it's not even historical accurate. Then it's conveniently hand-waved in the same story when it fits the plot: Queen Bitterblue.

How about "male dominated societies make it inherently difficult, if not impossible, for women to attain any degree of power and agency, and there's only so many powerless, agencyless characters you can fit into a fantasy adventure story?"

Well, as part of Cashore's intended audience - i.e. female - I think I would prefer more stories where the Heroine is not also the

only

female character who tries to challenge the status quo. The ship captain already comes from a culture where the status quo allows her to be empowered - so she's not challenging it. It would have been nice to have some innkeeper's wife who baked bread for Kasha's rebellion/spy-ring and kept the King's soldiers busy with free beer while the rebellion held their secret meetings. Or if one of the girls who ran Kasha's bath murmured something about how it was cool that the Lady could defend herself when she needed to. I mean, I can buy that it takes one woman to speak up against the system but the way rebellions and revolutions work is that that one person is usually voicing the present but silent disgruntlement of a greater number.

As it stands, Kasha ends the story thinking about setting up a training school for girls and one is left wondering where she'll find her students.

The problem isn't with the girl who can't do maths, it's with the guy who sees that she can't do something and applies it to all girls.

Well said. And, knowing full well that I'm in the danger of commiting that same crime with this statement, I actually have a big problem with Bann existing purely as the Token Gay Lover. It bugs me to admit this, but at least Alec and Magnus from the Clare books added more to the story than just the confirmation that the author was being "diverse".

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Melissa G.

at 04:12 on 2009-11-20

I actually have a big problem with Bann existing purely as the Token Gay Lover. It bugs me to admit this, but at least Alec and Magnus from the Clare books added more to the story than just the confirmation that the author was being "diverse".

Yeah, there seems to be a trend going around of including gay characters...for the sake of including them? I haven't read the book so I'm not saying Cashore did this. I just wanted to point out something I've said before but not here. There's a difference between making a gay character and making a character who just happens to be gay. I'm all for the inclusion of gay characters in literature (yes, please!); it's when "gay" becomes their whole character that I find a problem with it.

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Arthur B

at 09:04 on 2009-11-20

What about the Marys, the Elizabeths and the eternal Victoria?

None of them would have ever been in power if there were a male heir to hand.

Actually, in the case of Mary I and Elizabeth I, neither of them came to power until the death of Edward, their younger, sicklier, and generally vastly less suited to actually being monarch brother. And Elizabeth basically had to forego marriage for her entire life in order to retain her power (whereas Mary's marriage to Philip of Spain caused the nation to collectively shit bricks in fear of being annexed by Spain). So those are pretty much the worst two counterexamples you could come up with - yes, they were both powerful, but in order to get a sniff of power in the first place they had to a) patiently wait until their brother died, hoping that he didn't have any kids in the meantime, and b) make sacrifices which a man in their position would never have been asked to make. (As for Victoria, by the time she came to power the monarchy was basically there to provide a nice figurehead, and genuine political power lay exclusively in the hands of Parliament. A bunch of men elected by men.)

Just because England occasionally had female monarchs doesn't mean it wasn't a male-dominated society in general. If anything, the fact that most people can only name 3 pre-20th Century female English monarchs is evidence of exactly how rare it was for people to buck the trend.

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Shim

at 09:08 on 2009-11-20

Make him female and you're saying "women can't be trusted with power". I don't agree with this logic; if you have a large cast with diverse roles for women in it, you're not saying anything about women in general by having character x be a woman. I do think arguments like Leck: Utterly corrupt, the living embodiment of the dangers of power and privilege. Make him female and you're saying "women can't be trusted with power". are pretty dangerous...Which is to say, I don't think casting a woman in the position of a powerful corrupt spymaster would be sexist unless one reads it expecting women to represent their sex

I haven't read the book, and I'm not sure if this is exactly what Dan was getting at, but anyway... it seems to me that the smaller one subset of a cast gets (e.g. "women"), the more they're likely to seem like representatives. If this book is also using gender in a very careful way, to explore

the experience of growing up as a woman in a male-dominated society

(Dan)

then it seems likely to me that characters are also a bit symbolic/representative of influences. Or something like that...

In a context like that, with very few female characters, it seems to me that making just one or two of those mentioned female might end up seeming sexist because of implications like those Dan suggested. As Niall said, a large diverse cast can overcome this; but Graceling doesn't have one, and making

several

of the characters female would presumably wreck the "patriarchy exploration" part in the process.

Also Niall, I'm not quite sure what argument you mean in your 00:05 comment. Could you clarify that?

But yes, I agree that the "everything is representative of its 'kind'" argument brings up all kinds of problems.

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Wardog

at 09:28 on 2009-11-20Not to put words in Dan's mouth here but I think he over-rhetoricised his point in order to respond to Robinson's Just Plain Stupid notion that because the book has a largely male supporting cast, it didn't score enough feminism points.

I genuinely think it's got to the stage of being picky for the sake of it. Ultimately I'd say Graceling is feminist-friendly fantasy - criticising it because it doesn't have enough homosexuals in it, or because it isn't a sufficiently correct portrayal of the socio-cultural political of Medieval Europe, or because it does attempt to address every aspect of gender-inequality in life, in art and in fantasy strikes me as just plain churlish.

There are plenty of women doing admirable things in Graceling, it's just Cashore doesn't stand up, yelling "LOOK HERE IS A WOMAN DOING AN ADMIRABLE THING BECAUSE I AM A FEMINIST" every time it happens. I mean, there's Po's Mother, there's Bitterblue, there's Bitterblue's mother, there's Helda, there's the sea Captain all of whom have an immense impact on the events in the text. Without Helda, Katsa would likely never have had the strength to form the Shadow Council, without his mother Po would be a political puppet, without her mother Bitterblue would be dead... and before anyone says something, I think it's *important* and *deliberate* that these women acheive what they achieve from within the system as it were.

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 09:30 on 2009-11-20

Arthur B

, I think the point that

Leia

and

Robinson

are making about female monarchs is that ...

they existed

. Sure, they existed under shitty circumstances but they are not anomalies. If Kristin Cashore chose not to make Raffin - the King's gay only son - the female heir to the throne and facing pretty much the same challenges that her male counterpart already does (he is a "weakling" of an heir in his father's eyes), it's not because a female!Raffin is something that is unheard of in the annals of history.

Like Robinson L, "looking at the characters who aren't there but could have been", a female!Raffin, an "Acting" Crown Princess living under the shadow that her crown may be taken by a baby half-brother, would

fit

a story about women struggling for power in male patriachal societies. As Leia said, it would have been nice if Kasha wasn't the only woman who was unhappy with the status quo. That would make one more awesome lady in the story. That can't be a bad thing!

I haven't read the book so I'm not saying Cashore did this. I just wanted to point out something I've said before but not here. There's a difference between making a gay character and making a character who just happens to be gay.

I have read the book and this might have been the only other thing I didn't like about it. The other thing was Leck being cartoon!evil. But Bann is such a shadowy character that until now, I had completely forgotten about him.

I didn't mean to suggest that because Bitterblue is smart, empathetic, and stoic, she's a Mary-Sue. I meant that the amount of intelligence (wisdom even), empathy, and stoicism she displays in the book (which is a lot) make her a Mary-Sue.

I noticed that as well. I didn't mind it as much as I minded her ability to block Leck's powers which falls too neatly into the box of "Super-speshul, unexplained powers". But, like I said, Bitterblue is such a delightful character that I am more than willing to over-look this.

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Wardog

at 09:35 on 2009-11-20Just to keep going on about it, this time in response to Kat, one the things I really like about Graceling and the way Cashore writes, is that she kept her focus squarely on her main character and somehow managed to write reasonably well-paced fantasy novel that wasn't 800 pages long. I think we have to remember that Katsa, as a heroine, is young, and a little bit too caught up with her own struggles, and her own injustices, to really look around her and *see* what's truly going on. This is partly, I think, one of the many things she learns over the course of the book, and something that both Po and Bitterblue help her learn. Although I *loved* Cashore's characters and would gladly have taken more Raffin, more Bann and more anybody else she wanted, I think they served to provide a nuanced background for Katsa's personal story without detracting or interfering from it. And let's remember Graceling is the first book of a series - I imagine we'll see much more Raffin in later books, and of course, Bitterblue... *excitement*

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Niall

at 10:22 on 2009-11-20

In a context like that, with very few female characters, it seems to me that making just one or two of those mentioned female might end up seeming sexist because of implications like those Dan suggested.

As Kyra says, actually there are plenty of female characters. And to continue with the case of Leck specifically, given that he ends up being replaced by Bitterblue, I cannot see how making him a woman would carry the implications Dan suggests it would.

But that doesn't mean I think it should have been done. When I talk about a book's "argument" I'm referencing the description of sf and fantasy works that says they are "arguments with the world"; that everything in them necessarily engages in dialogue with the world as it is, and makes a statement about the relationship between the textual and real worlds. In the case of Graceling, that argument is, as Dan says, about growing up as a woman in a male-dominated society, like our society; so it matters that the figures with the most power are men, because they tend to be in our world.

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Dan H

at 11:02 on 2009-11-20Wow, a lot of responses:

Sonia:

Saying that one shouldn't cast a woman in a role which reinforces a sexist stereotype because there are readers who will apply this to all women just seems to be catering to that type of person.

This, unfortunately, is the same logic that leads to things like the "colour blindness" defense of Earthsea and Avatar. If you have the choice to perpetuate a stereotype or not to perpetuate a stereotype you should choose *not* to because perpetuating stereotypes *actively harms people*.

The notion that women cannot be trusted with power is actually something Graceling specifically addresses - the whole "her grace is killing/her grace is survival" thing is *specifically* about the tendency of society to demonize powerful women. If the main villain of the book had been a woman whose power had turned dangerous it would have reinforced *the very ideas it was critiquing*.

It's perfectly okay to write books where the villains are women. It's perfectly okay to write books where women do horrible things to people. It's not sensible to suggest that a book which is specifically about the power dynamics of relationships between men and women in a patriarchal society would be improved by making its villain female.

Kat:

Like Robinson L, "looking at the characters who aren't there but could have been", a female!Raffin, an "Acting" Crown Princess living under the shadow that her crown may be taken by a baby half-brother, would fit a story about women struggling for power in male patriachal societies.

Again, I think this misses the point.

Graceling is not about women struggling for power in male dominated societies, it's about one, particular woman struggling for - not even power particularly, but freedom, identity and a sense of self - in a male dominated society.

Making Raffin female would have *profoundly lessened* the book for precisely that reason. Part of what Cashore was trying to capture with Graceling (as far as I can tell) was a sense of isolation. You can't have that if you've got another character who's in exactly the same predicament as her. Suddently Katsa would either have to change her behaviour entirely (staying in the Middluns to support Raffin) or else wind up looking utterly selfish and hypocritical. And either way it would have reduced a quite subtle, quite complex analysis of power dynamics to a rather simplistic "women good, men bad" axis, which would have done nobody any favours.

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 11:18 on 2009-11-20

Although I *loved* Cashore's characters and would gladly have taken more Raffin, more Bann and more anybody else she wanted, I think they served to provide a nuanced background for Katsa's personal story without detracting or interfering from it.

Do you think that Raffin being female and essentially playing the same role in the text would have made him less a background character? Make him take the spotlight from Kasha? Because there's a part of me that thinks that and it's making me wonder about that theory that says that many people (men and women) will regard a room half-full with women as

too many

women.

In the case of Graceling, that argument is, as Dan says, about growing up as a woman in a male-dominated society, like our society; so it matters that the figures with the most power are men, because they tend to be in our world.

I don't think the argument is about Graceling having more women in power or even more women doing admirable things. I think it's about it having more women who are discontent with the male-dominated society (i.e. outside of Po's island which appears to be progressive in terms of gender equality. So the ship captain and Po's mother and even Bitterblue, his niece, don't actually count). They aren't doing anything about the male-dominated society in the scale Kasha is but they aren't resigned to it either. I get the point that was made that at the end of the book, you have to wonder where the girls that go to Kasha's school will come from.

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Sonia Mitchell

at 11:33 on 2009-11-20This, unfortunately, is the same logic that leads to things like the "colour blindness" defense of Earthsea and Avatar.

I don't think that's a fair point at all.

However I'll have to bow out, because as I said I haven't read the book and was speaking rather generally.

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 11:44 on 2009-11-20Sorry Dan, we must have posted at about the same time.

If the main villain of the book had been a woman whose power had turned dangerous it would have reinforced *the very ideas it was critiquing*.

That's a very good point. I just knew Leck had to be a guy, but I couldn't put my finger on why.

Making Raffin female would have *profoundly lessened* the book for precisely that reason. Part of what Cashore was trying to capture with Graceling (as far as I can tell) was a sense of isolation. You can't have that if you've got another character who's in exactly the same predicament as her.

A female!Raffin won't have been exactly in the same predicament at Kasha, at least, if you assume that Raffin being female would have added another layer to his father's present discontent with him and not changed his personality. Nor should female!Raffin make Kasha's decision to leave any more selfish: Randa was still alive and able to produce a male heir at any time. Unless Kasha was going to remain in the Middluns to take care of any bastard brothers that might threaten Raffin's crown...?

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Shim

at 11:44 on 2009-11-20

...actually there are plenty of female characters.

Given I know almost nothing about this book, I'll give up trying to analyse it now...

Ah, the "argument" bit makes sense now. I read it before as meaning the phrase you quoted from Dan:

Make him female and you're saying "women can't be trusted with power"

. The paragraph didn't really seem to make much sense that way (i.e. why would you, Niall, want to make a case for that anyway?).

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 11:51 on 2009-11-20

Graceling is not about women struggling for power in male dominated societies, it's about one, particular woman struggling for - not even power particularly, but freedom, identity and a sense of self - in a male dominated society.

Not to be redundant but isn't the reason why it's a male-dominated society in the first place, because

women

don't have power? Sure the book focuses on one woman's struggle and there's nothing wrong with that. But why would this impact or theme be lessened if Kasha's story had been told against the

backdrop

of other women's struggles?

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Wardog

at 12:49 on 2009-11-20

But why would this impact or theme be lessened if Kasha's story had been told against the backdrop of other women's struggles?

I, uh, rather thought it was, to be honest? It's just the way Cashore has chosen to explore it is through the lens of one character. I didn't feel there was a lack of explicit female struggling going on, I just thought it didn't particularly need to be constantly addressed by the text. It's kind of got to the point where we're criticising Cashore for doing something one way, instead of another way.

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Arthur B

at 12:58 on 2009-11-20

Arthur B, I think the point that Leia and Robinson are making about female monarchs is that ... they existed. Sure, they existed under shitty circumstances but they are not anomalies.

If we take the medieval period in England as spanning around 500 years (from the Norman Conquest to the Elizabethan period), then as far as female monarchs of England are concerned you've got Matilda (whose reign was contested throughout by Stephen), Mary, and Elizabeth. Oh, and there was Lady Jane Grey, but she's not often counted because a) she's generally regarded as a puppet candidate propped up by a desperate anyone-but-Mary movement, and b) she was convicted of treason and killed, and was monarch for barely a week.

4 instances. 500 years. Arithmetic mean once every 125 years, and even then 3 of those instances are packed within one generation at the end of the period.

If you've got an event which only happens

once every few lifetimes

, how is that not anomalous?

If Kristin Cashore chose not to make Raffin - the King's gay only son - the female heir to the throne and facing pretty much the same challenges that her male counterpart already does (he is a "weakling" of an heir in his father's eyes), it's not because a female!Raffin is something that is unheard of in the annals of history.

But in the annals of history the solution to the King's "problem" of having an heir he considers unsuitable would be very different.

If you are not happy with a female heir, you could just

keep shagging

until you spawned a male one. It worked fine for Henry VIII.

If you have a male heir you're not keen on, though, it's a very different matter. In theory you could disinherit him. In practice, even a disinherited male heir hanging around would pose a problem for any preferred heir, because there'd always be the threat of opponents of your preferred successor using your disinherited son as a figurehead to spark off a dispute over succession. In medieval Europe such disputes tended to play out in battlefields, not courtrooms, so any monarch who cared even slightly about the fate of their country after their death would be loathe to just disinherit a kid. Murder is of course an option, if you don't mind being compared to King Herod for the rest of history, and even in medieval times you had to be especially psychotic to kill your own kids.

At least in England, the monarchs seem to have been satisfied to just let their sons inherit the crown, and hope that they will rise to the occasion when the time comes, whereas female heirs - regardless of their qualities - were regarded as generally a really big problem.

Not to be redundant but isn't the reason why it's a male-dominated society in the first place, because women don't have power? Sure the book focuses on one woman's struggle and there's nothing wrong with that. But why would this impact or theme be lessened if Kasha's story had been told against the backdrop of other women's struggles?

Dan points out the isolation angle earlier, which I think is key. If Katsa isn't isolated, if there are women out there openly struggling for the same things Katsa is looking for, then a) it's just plain less exciting than Katsa trying to sort these things out without help, and b) suddenly it's no longer just about Katsa the character, but women in general, because by providing the other struggles as a backdrop you're inevitably inviting the reader to draw the comparison and make a link.

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 13:15 on 2009-11-20

If you've got an event which only happens once every few lifetimes, how is that not anomalous?

Er... Sorry about the word choice then. I was just trying to say that it wasn't "Impossible" that Raffin could be a girl. What Dan said was:

Raffin: Heir to the throne. Again, patriarchal society, you can't have the heir to the throne be a woman.

But history shows that there have been female monarch ins patriarchal societies so that statement isn't accurate. If Cashore had made Raffin female, it would have still worked. That's all.

If you are not happy with a female heir, you could just keep shagging until you spawned a male one.

I had this private theory that Randa couldn't have any more children, or he'd have got a spare to his heir.

I didn't feel there was a lack of explicit female struggling going on, I just thought it didn't particularly need to be constantly addressed by the text. It's kind of got to the point where we're criticising Cashore for doing something one way, instead of another way.

I guess I'm always a fan of "more" awesome female characters, especially from a writer who's clearly good at creating them. That's a compliment to Cashore, isn't it? I think Graceling is awesome. This discussion has made me see ways in which it could have been

more

awesome. Is there anything wrong with that?

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Dan H

at 13:19 on 2009-11-20

I don't think that's a fair point at all.

Actually you're right, it was a cheap shot, sorry.

All I meant was that I think we've got caught up between specifics and generalities. Obviously it would be possible to imagine a book in which there was a powerful, corrupt female antagonist, which was not in any way sexist, but that book would not be Graceling.

The reason I reached for the Avatar/Earthsea analogy was, I admit, partly just reflex defensiveness but partly because I was talking specifically about *changing* the existing text. But yeah, sorry, it was cheap of me.

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Leia

at 13:28 on 2009-11-20Just repeating what Kat said: the point wasn't that female monarchs were a dime a dozen in history. The point is that they were not absent from it. In fact, Medieval Europe is too far away. Too often the historical "accuracy" is used in application to fantasy worlds. Let's stick to the Seven Kingdoms.

Queen Bitterblue exists.

In the same world. In a similar patriachal society as Randa's. (And child to an even more twisted King-father).

A child-woman monarch.

How is Queen-to-be Raffina an impossibility?

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Arthur B

at 13:38 on 2009-11-20

Er... Sorry about the word choice then. I was just trying to say that it wasn't "Impossible" that Raffin could be a girl. What Dan said was: Raffin: Heir to the throne. Again, patriarchal society, you can't have the heir to the throne be a woman. But history shows that there have been female monarch ins patriarchal societies so that statement isn't accurate. If Cashore had made Raffin female, it would have still worked. That's all.

It would have worked in the sense that, legalistically, she'd be the heir, assuming they follow the same general rules as we did in medieval Europe.

It wouldn't have worked in the sense that the more women Cashore put in positions of power and influence, the less male-dominated the society depicted would seem. In fact, I could

guarantee

you that if Raffin had been female, people would be arguing that the society depicted wasn't

really

male-dominated, and point to female-Raffin as proof. They would be

wrong

, but why give them that wiggle room in the first place?

Which comes back to the basic point: yes, more significant characters could have been female. But why should Cashore blunt the "this society is male-dominated" message when she could be driving it home with full force? Why should Cashore lessen the perils and obstacles that face Katsa - and thus lessen her heroism in overcoming them - when she could pile 'em higher instead?

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Melissa G.

at 13:39 on 2009-11-20I also am now bowing out of the debate as I was also speaking generally and cannot address this book particularly. I didn't mean to insult Graceling or Kristin Cashore. ^^

Have fun with the debating!

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Arthur B

at 13:41 on 2009-11-20

Let's stick to the Seven Kingdoms. Queen Bitterblue exists. In the same world. In a similar patriachal society as Randa's. (And child to an even more twisted King-father). A child-woman monarch. How is Queen-to-be Raffina an impossibility?

Queen Bitterblue exists specifically because of Katsa's heroism, though; she's the end result of Katsa's victory over her society. If Raffina were female, and a viable choice to be heir, then what need for Bitterblue?

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Leia

at 14:14 on 2009-11-20Bitterblue owes her life to Kasha not her crown. She's Queen because she's the child of the late King and in Cashore's world, that is claim enough. Kasha doesn't put her on the throne. She just keeps her alive long enough to be able to claim it. But the system that makes it possible for a child queen to be crowned is already part of Cashore's world.

I'm not sure I like the implication that Raffina being a heiress makes Bitterblue redundant. Forget that they play polar opposite roles in the story and have opposite relationships with Kasha - it's too much of the "we can't have two [Insert Characteristic X] *girls* in the story. In fact I'm uncomfortable with the whole argument that a woman's story loses its power when there are more women in it. It's an argument that never comes up when the protagonist is male.

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Wardog

at 14:24 on 2009-11-20Looks like we're all bowing out here. I think the debate is certainly interesting but I hope things didn't get too heated and nobody is hurt/irritated/furstrated with anyone else. If I was overly defensive regarding either Cashore or Graceling, it's just because I think in these sort of discussions it's all too easy to lose track of what the book *did do* in the welter of speculation about what it *doesn't do*. And when you get right down to it, Graceling has been some of the best, feminist-friendly fantasy I've read for a long time.

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 14:26 on 2009-11-20

But the system that makes it possible for a child queen to be crowned is already part of Cashore's world.

Yes, this is what I thought. I think you could even argue that Bitterblue claiming her throne so easily - because Leck as a sick, crazy Dad is the obstacle she overcomes not the rejection of her own people against a child Queen - might even do what Arthur B thinks Raffina would have done and make the world less patriarchal while a Crown Princess Raffina who is shown to be resented/endangered because of society's expectations of their monarch's gender underlines the patriarchal philosophy of the world.

Wow, that was a long run-on sentence.

Yes, I too am uncomfortable with the idea that more women in a story makes it less powerful for the one woman the story is about. For one thing, I don't believe that. But I don't know how to argue that or express or explain that.

Er... so that means I'm also bowing out of the discussion. I think I've pretty much said everything I have to say and the bottom line is that though it's hard not to find room for improvement in anything, I still like Graceling and Cashore's writing a lot. That's all.

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Arthur B

at 14:28 on 2009-11-20

Kasha doesn't put her on the throne. She just keeps her alive long enough to be able to claim it.

You see, I'm enough of a pragmatist that I think the two are the same thing.

In fact I'm uncomfortable with the whole argument that a woman's story loses its power when there are more women in it.

This would obviously be an untrue thing to say of all women in all stories.

That doesn't mean it isn't true for

Katsa

in

Katsa

's story, which is about how

Katsa

found her way in a male-dominated society.

It's an argument that never comes up when the protagonist is male.

Wouldn't that be because there just ain't that many stories about men striving to find their identity in a female-dominated society?

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Leia

at 14:48 on 2009-11-20If Bitterblue had outlived Leck and her people revolted against the idea of a Queen and, let's say, dug up the records of Leck's foster parents to trace the rightful King, no matter how obscure the relationship, the matter would have been out of Kasha or Bitterblue's hands. It's like arguing that it's Harry's ingenuity that saves him in GoF when it's Rowling making his wand match Voldemorte.

Only in Cashore's world, by her rules, it's apparently not a big deal that a woman is crowned. Like Kat said, Raffina struggling to just be Queen-to-be as opposed to Bitterblue waltzing into her throne would be more fitting to the patriachal society the story is supposed to be set in.

No, there aren't that many stories about men like that. But there are far too many stories where the male:female ratio is skewed to the men's side. For A Lot of Very Good Reasons. I guess I'm just skeptical of One More Good Reason why women are in the minority. And I'm saying that as a woman, part of the "target" audience.

This is probably a good time for me to bow out.

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Arthur B

at 15:18 on 2009-11-20It's probably wise for everyone to bow out at this point. There is always, after all, the possibility that Kristin actually knows precisely what she is doing and intends to introduce a greater and greater proportion of female characters over the course of the series to reflect the development of the culture of the Kingdoms, and there's only so far we can take this discussion when we're only seeing a portion of her plans.

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Wardog

at 15:23 on 2009-11-20Okay I meant to bow out and failed.

But there are far too many stories where the male:female ratio is skewed to the men's side. For A Lot of Very Good Reasons. I guess I'm just skeptical of One More Good Reason why women are in the minority.

Again, it's possible my love for Cashore is blinding me to inequalities in the text but I genuinely don't believe this kind of thing can be judged numerically, and I think we might be doing Cashore a grave injustice by looking and her text and counting up the men and counting up the women and trying to work out whether it would be better if x person was a man, or y person was a woman.

I mean if a book has 100 women and 3 men in it, and the women all stand around in the background, or bake cookies for the men, or are constantly raped by passing barbarians, I think we'd all agree that it was a problem. And, let's face it, it's tokenism.

If you have a text with 5 men and 5 woman, and the women are all terrible stereotypes then, again, I think we'd all agree that it was a problem.

And so on.

To be honest - and no offence to Dan - I think the "these characters have to be men for this reason" rhetoric did more harm than good, although I know exactly why you did it. I think we're looking at this completely the wrong way round - the point is not why the men in Graceling are men, but what Cashore is saying, and doing, with her female characters.

The point is, I would argue, is that they're all fantastic characters, with a meaningful place in the text, no matter how brief their appearance. Despite living in a patriarchal world, they have agency, they have strength, they are, individual and wonderful. They have significant interactions with Katsa. They are, most importantly, people, rather than token women stuffed into the text to give a semblance of gender equality. I hope this makes sense.

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Rami

at 18:13 on 2009-11-20Congratulations! This article has leaped into the top five most discussed so far. Perhaps we should let Cashore write another book before we start extrapolating about her plans or worldview, though.

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Dan H

at 18:29 on 2009-11-20If you'll bear with me for a second, I'm going to a do a play-by play of how the discussion has got to this frankly unhelpful stage.

We've got to the point now where people who haven't read the book are arguing that the book should be changed in order to remove features it does not in fact possess. In particular people are arguing that it should contain fewer male supporting characters. It contains five.

Here is how it went down.

Robinson, L posted a comment further up in which he suggested that the book contained too many male characters. Since the book is remarkable for the large number of interesting, well rounded, well developed female characters it contains Kyra and I both thought this was a bit odd, and pointed out that while in some parts of the book, Katsa is indeed surrounded almost entirely by men, that's kind of the point.

Robinson L, whose impressions of the book I should remind you came from an audio dramatization and not from, well, actually reading it, continued to insist that the book contained too many men.

Kyra and I once again tried to explain that the book actually contained an awful lot of women, and that the men it did contain were there to make some very specific points about the relationships one has with men when one grows up as a woman in a male dominated society.

At this point, Robinson L took it upon himself to declare that Kristin Cashore was wrong to write the book the way she chose to write it (he insists he is not saying this, that he is merely saying it would be "better" if she wrote it differently, this is in fact the same thing). He insisted that he would be "very disappointed" if she "went over the same ground" in her next book and declared that he "hoped she didn't pull something like that again."

He then went on to pat himself on the back for how awesomely tolerant and feminist this made him.

This made Kyra so angry, so offended, and so genuinely hurt, that she did not feel herself able to reply in an appropriate or professional manner. Because, and let me be very clear about this, when you are a man, saying you know how a woman could improve the book she wrote about growing up as a woman is fantastically fucking patronising.

I attempted to reply on Kyra's behalf in order to make three points. Firstly that there actually aren't very many men in the book. Secondly that the men that are there are mostly there to make very specific points about what interacting with men is like for women and thirdly that claiming you know how to write about being a woman better than an actual woman is kind of a problem.

Unfortunately I overstated my case, people went off on a variety of tangents, and we're now in the farcical situation where people are strenuously arguing that a book entirely about women has somehow dropped the ball because it contains a few male supporting characters.

Sorry to have such a go at you, Robinson, but Kyra and I are both really quite angry, because you took a powerful, beautiful book which says genuinely important things about growing up as a young woman and got everybody to judge it by a set of standards which you, as a man, took it upon yourself to define. The main character is a woman. The most important supporting characters are women. The book is entirely about women. The entire last third of the book focuses entirely on two women completely alone in the wilderness. Yet you presume to find it lacking because of a "majority-male supporting cast".

As Kyra initially refrained from saying: how fucking dare you.

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Wardog

at 20:22 on 2009-11-20And it's irritating as hell that some really interesting discussion has been dominated and buried by this nonsense as well :(

Although I'm thrilled to have swooped into the top 5 discussed articles I am conscious that things have got more than a little bitter - so I just wanted to thank everyone for their time and their thoughts.

And for the record I still love Kristin Cashore and want to marry her.

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Robinson L

at 21:30 on 2009-11-20Kyra, I am so deeply, incredibly, unbelievably sorry to have offended you. I'm still not sure how on Earth I ended up giving the impression of the extremely judgmental and sanctimonious attitude you and Dan attribute to me. But apparently I have upset you terribly, and for that, I am truly, deeply sorry.

I may not agree with all of you about the gender breakdown of the casting in future books. However, something that obviously did not come through anywhere near clearly enough in my previous comments is that as far as I was concerned, this was a very minor point – in other words,

not a big deal

. I was under the impression (grossly mistaken, I realize now, to my shame) that this was a light philosophical discussion. I hope you will believe me when I say I

never

would have continued shooting off my mouth like that if I'd known that this was not the case.

You've said:

Ultimately I'd say Graceling is feminist-friendly fantasy

. And I agree with that. And further:

And for the record I still love Kristin Cashore and want to marry her.

. Good for you. I did not have that strong a reaction, but she's certainly a good writer and has written a very good book. It seems that my overall feelings about the book got lost in the argument over one detail. Once again, I am so, so sorry. I only wish there was something more I could do to amend the damage I see now that I have done.

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Wardog

at 22:09 on 2009-11-20It's not the fact that you didn't like how many male characters there are in Graceling, it was the more the idea that you thought the themes Cashore explores and the way she explores them - which I would define broadly as 'being a woman' and 'from the perspective of a woman' as evidence that she has failed as a writer. Quite frankly I'm sick to the back teeth of men telling female writers how they should portray women and what they should be writing. If you consider that as light philosophy then fair enough, but I rather imagine that's a prerogative you only get as a man. But you absolutely don't have to apologise to me - you think what you think, and I'll think what I think. I'm kind of hoping we can salvage the discussion actually - I've completely lost several of Kat's very interesting points in the noise.

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Dan H

at 17:46 on 2009-11-21

Yes, I too am uncomfortable with the idea that more women in a story makes it less powerful for the one woman the story is about. For one thing, I don't believe that. But I don't know how to argue that or express or explain that.

Just quickly replying to this post from Kat which got lost in all the fail.

You are of course quite right, I'm afraid I wound up arguing a more extreme position than I intended, apologies.

I don't believe that the fact that the Shadow Council consists entirely of men represents any kind of flaw in the book - not even a minor one. On the other hand I do in fact see that arguing that "these characters have to be male" is a dangerous path to go down - as you observe it leads to some nasty implications because it leads quickly to the point where you're saying "whoops, can't have too many women in this." Obviously that wasn't my intention but that doesn't change the fact that it wound up being the implication of my argument.

So, yeah, you're dead right on that, sorry.

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Melissa G.

at 21:19 on 2009-11-21It brings up an interesting question to me. Where does the author's freedom to create characters as he/she sees them (as man, woman, white, black, straight, gay, etc) end, and the burden of social responsibility come in where an author feels compelled by social issues and things to not only include diversity but to make sure he/she doesn't overshadow the diversity? (Wow, long, sorry.) In my opinion, it's just as detrimental or offensive to include a character just to have a woman, gay person, or minority.

Any thoughts on this?

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Jamie Johnston

at 19:19 on 2009-11-22I haven't got anything I'd call a thought, Melissa, but here's a sketch of the beginnings of a thought:

It's perhaps useful to separate in one's mind the design of the story-world (i.e. the society in which the story takes place, or more specifically the parts of the society that we see, including the sorts of people we encounter) and the presentation of it (specifically what effects any given aspect of the society is shown to have, and whether that aspect is presented as good or bad).

Having made that mental distinction, one could say, "I shall design whatever social setting feels right, and choose my cast of principal, supporting, and background characters accordingly. Then, once I've done that, I'll step back and look at it. Very carefully. I'll turn over every aspect of it and ask myself what I think about it, whether it's positive or negative, whether I approve or disapprove. And then I'll write my story (or, if I've already written it, I'll revise it) to make sure that I reveal the positives and the negatives appropriately, that I don't seem to approve or reinforce the negatives, that I give due weight and approval to the positives."

I don't know whether that's the best approach, or a good one, or even a practicable one. I haven't written any fiction except short comedy sketches for many years, so I certainly haven't consciously tried that approach. But it strikes me as one possible way to be free and creative without feeling overburdened by worry, and also to be suitably burdened by worry without letting it stifle the creativity.

On the other hand, perhaps that wouldn't work. Perhaps, as both Robinson and Dan have both at times seemed to suggest earlier in this discussion, it isn't enough to make sure that the presentation expresses the right approvals and disapprovals: perhaps the very design of the society and the composition of the cast of characters can perpetuate unhelpful stereotypes and reinforce bad habits of thought.

In that case, maybe the writer can take the mental separation I've suggested and use it the other way: start by thinking of the messages she wants to send or the stereotypes she wants to undermine or avoid, and build these consciously into the design of the world and, in broad terms, the cast. And then, once satisfied, she can say, "Whose story shall I tell? What should happen? What, within the confines of what I've designed, could happen, and to whom, and with what effect?"

Perhaps that wouldn't work either; it might need to be a sort of Hegelian zig-zagging between periods of untrammelled creativity and responsible self-correction. But my instinct is that it's probably helpful to keep in mind that there are those two separate things: the way you design it, and the attitude you ask the reader to take towards it. Or, to look at it from the critic's point of view rather than the writer's, it's probably important to avoid examining and criticising the composition of the cast, for example, or the design of the social institutions, without also looking at the attitude of the text toward those facts, and vice versa.

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Melissa G.

at 19:51 on 2009-11-22I think I came up with similar thoughts too. I mean, it's impossible to do everything right so I guess the author has to decide what's most important to him/her as far as what they want to say with their book. If the book is about tolerance, it's important to show diversity because if the author doesn't, the theme is undermined.

I suppose this interests me because I tend to be a character writer. I come up with characters before theme. So, in cases like mine, I guess what's important is to go back afterward and look over what you've done and if you're presenting any possible stereotypes and how to maybe turn the reader's mind away from that idea, either by tweaking a character or introducing another. And I think there are times when you ask, "Does this character need to be white/man/straight/etc?" and the answer is no, but I think there are times when the answer is yes too. So, maybe the most important thing is to ask that question whenever you make a character.

Now I might just be rambling though.

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Robinson L

at 03:02 on 2009-12-02

Kyra: you absolutely don't have to apologise to me

On the contrary, if Dan's account is anything to go by, my words in the conversation above were hurtful, which was far removed from my intentions, I assure you. I do apologize for having given offense.

If you consider that as light philosophy then fair enough, but I rather imagine that's a prerogative you only get as a man.

An excellent point, one I will endeavor to keep more firmly in mind.

I do not at all, however, propose to tell Cashore what she should do, in matters of writing or any other.

It's not the fact that you didn't like how many male characters there are in Graceling, it was the more the idea that you thought the themes Cashore explores and the way she explores them - which I would define broadly as 'being a woman' and 'from the perspective of a woman' as evidence that she has failed as a writer.

A position which I in no way propound.

It seems clear to me now that we have been speaking at cross-purposes for some time.

The composition of a book's main cast is absolutely a feminist issue, and a somewhat separate issue from that of discourse. However, you and Dan and others have quite satisfied me that

Graceling

's discourse addresses feminist issues very well indeed, and for myself I will not argue the matter of casting from a feminist perspective. In light of what has been said already, I do not consider myself qualified to assess

Graveling

's handling of feminist issues one way or another.

Something I should perhaps have tried to explain earlier is that casting for me is also a matter of personal taste. All else being equal, I prefer large female casts (“all else” including such matters as the female characters being well-written and not exploitively written, yes). Aside from a feminist angle (which, as I say, has now been more than aptly addressed), I can not come up with any particular reason why this should be so, other than to restate that it is what I prefer, and so I left that part unsaid—unwisely, I now realize.

It was in this light that I made my comments. I liked

Graceling

. I was slightly disappointed by the casting, but having seen the arguments in favor of Cashore's decisions in that regard, I accept the casting as is. I hope that in at least some of her future books, Cashore will be able to convey her feminist discourse in a way which will be congenial to—or even enhanced by—a larger female supporting cast. I think Cashore could do some great things with a large female cast, and I think I would like such a story even better.

None of which says anything at all about what Cashore

should

do, as it is certainly not my place to make any such statement. I merely offer my opinion on what I would like her to do, which places absolutely no obligations on her whatsoever.

As Dan points out, Kristin Cashore is not primarily writing for me or even for people like me, so my opinion counts for even less, which is fair enough. For what very little it's worth, then, I offered it. Had I known how it would be taken though, and what that would lead to, I would a) have picked my words with a

lot

more care or, more likely, b) not bothered entirely.

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Sister Magpie

at 15:57 on 2010-05-07Hey, remember this thread? I do! I've remembered it all this time while reminding myself to pick up this book and I finally have. Just wanted to thank you for the rec and also, months after the fact, to put in my 2 cents about some issues brought up here.

I didn't find Bitterblue to be a Mary Sue. I think in my head I was expecting it, having remembered the discussion, but she really didn't come across that way to me. I guess her personality seemed to just make sense given who she was. She was a princess and was taught to be self-possessed. She had already broken through Leck's power by the time we meet her--it wasn't about seeing her mother killed, it was that she had already seen her mother hurt. Essentially, she was the child of an abusive marriage and seeing her mother hurt at the hands of her father repeatedly had opened her eyes. This was not a special power of Bitterblue's, they were careful to say. Everyone, when hurt enough by Leck, gained that power.

I do agree with the few flaws pointed out here, particularly Leck's downfall. I could think of many ways that Leck could have become the way he did given his power so I didn't think he was just evil for the sake of being evil, but we never know him and his death is almost intentionally anti-climactic.

TBH, the thing I thought was a bit weak actually was Po. I loved the guy, but that was the thing. He was just too much a fantasy for me. He made Ginny Weasley look like a character not created to be the perfect mate for the protagonist! He was still an interesting guy, but if there was a Sue in the story I'd be looking at Po far more than Bitterblue. I can't really think of a single flaw the guy had.

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Dan H

at 11:47 on 2010-05-10I'm actually okay with Leck's downfall, I thought it was actually quite well thought through. Leck's power very specifically *isn't* a D&D charm spell, it's that you believe whatever he says. Which means that if he threatens you, you do actually get a narrow window of believing he's dangerous before he backtracks and says "but we're friends really".

The end of the Leck arc actually highlights some rather chilling things about Katsa - it's quite clear in the text that she "beat" Leck because she really was willing to kill a man who she believed otherwise innocent, purely to protect Po.

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Wardog

at 10:23 on 2010-05-11I didn't really find Po too Mary-Sue-ish, I think because he was someone for me to want to have, rather than someone I'd necessarily want to be, if that makes sense? Mary Sue heroines are annoying because they are (meant to be) more awesome than me, but idealised lovers I enjoy very much :)

And actually I thought Po behaved like a bit of a twat when he went blind - at least, he doesn't respond to a position of new found vulnerability particularly well.

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Sister Magpie

at 17:20 on 2010-05-11

I'm actually okay with Leck's downfall, I thought it was actually quite well thought through. Leck's power very specifically *isn't* a D&D charm spell, it's that you believe whatever he says. Which means that if he threatens you, you do actually get a narrow window of believing he's dangerous before he backtracks and says "but we're friends really".

Oh, I bought how it happened. I was just left wishing we could have gotten to know him a bit more. We only see him for a few moments before he dies, and that's after a really chilling build up.

I didn't think he was much a twat after going blind given the circumstances. I mean, it's a huge thing to go blind, and he was a bit mopey about it but that's probably nothing compared to what a regular person losing their sight would be. Especially since he had the added factor of not being able to tell anyone for fear of revealing his Grace.

I didn't really find Po too Mary-Sue-ish, I think because he was someone for me to want to have, rather than someone I'd necessarily want to be, if that makes sense? Mary Sue heroines are annoying because they are (meant to be) more awesome than me, but idealised lovers I enjoy very much :)

Yes, I shouldn't have used that term. He's definitely not a Mary Sue but an idealized love interest, which is a different thing. But I did find it a little distracting that he was so perfect that way.

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Jamie Johnston

at 15:23 on 2010-12-16'Late to the party' doesn't even begin to describe it, but hey! I have read this book now! Yay!

I really liked it. And it was interesting, having read it, to re-read this article and

Dan's

about it, and skimming the discussions on each. Interestingly partly because one of the things that struck me as very striking and appealing about

Graceling

, especially from a 'gender studies' type perspective, is something that hasn't come up much in the commentary so far.

[Slight

spoilers

hereafter. Not that there haven't been any already, but.]

Kat and Kyra mentioned that they particularly liked the sequence in the mountains, and I feel the same. And I think one of the reasons I found it so striking is linked to the broader question of the qualities that the book treats as heroic. I loved the way it valorizes care and survival and practicality. I think that comes through very clearly in the way the most climactic and memorable sequence — the one in the mountains — is not a massive battle but is actually an escape.

What they're doing is running away, which is something that the conventions of not only fantasy (of which I have no very deep knowledge) but genre fiction generally tend to portray as massively un-heroic. Even when an escape is heroic in fiction, the heroism is usually found in the one who self-sacrificingly stays behind to hold back the pursuers. We even had all the ingredients for that trope in

Graceling

, and I really thought (and feared, because I liked Po a lot) that it was going to happen. But no, the focus was on the actual escape itself, and Herclé! it was just the most heroic and awe-inspiring thing.

People have already remarked that Cashore has a women doing cool things without being all 'Look, Awesome Women' about it, and it's a similar thing with qualities and activities. Practicality and survival are interesting in terms of gender because they feature as strands in both traditional masculinity and traditional femininity, while being heavily gendered in both. Men put up shelves, women mend clothes. Men hunt animals, women seek help and shelter. The obvious 'feminist' things to do in a book would be either (1) to have a female character who is Awesome because she does the traditionally masculine things or (2) to deprecate the traditionally masculine things and have the traditionally feminine things turn out to save the day. What

Graceling

does is more progressive than that, it seems to me: Katsa mends clothes and makes fire and weapons, hunts animals and and makes them into meals. The fact that she does all these things makes her super-cool, and also makes the point that there's nothing inherently masculine or feminine about any of them and there's no reason why a woman can't do all of them. She fights and she escapes, and she's a hero both ways.

And the other interesting one is care. Care, of course, is a very gendered thing: so much so that it's the basis of the main strand of feminist ethics. But traditional gender-stereotyping tends to depict care-giving as something that women just spontaneously do because they want to, because women are naturally loving and caring, and therefore care is effortless for them. Which is insulting to men because it implies that men don't love or care and to women because it implies that care-giving isn't sometimes bloody hard work and often something you do even if you don't feel like it.

Graceling

makes care heroic, but again not in a 'Men Are Rubbish, Traditional Femininity FTW' way. Katsa isn't an especially caring person, and the care she gives to Bitterblue isn't because she's a broody mumsy woman who instinctively cuddles and protects children. She does it because she has to, because that's the position she's in (which is, of course, the sort of position that many care-givers are in but that doesn't get a lot of air-time in fiction). She does positively want to care for Po but doesn't entirely know how to and eventually has to face the fact that she can't (which again is something that a lot of care-givers have to deal with). And the care she gives to Bitterblue is at her expense and almost kills her (yet another issue that arises with care in real life but not so often in fiction).

Another related note is that the escape is different not only from the classic 'running away' but also from the classic heroic rescue. It is undeniably a rescue: Bitterblue will die if Po and Katsa don't get her to safety. But rescues are usually all about the swinging through windows on ropes and having sword-fights and stuff. They aren't so much about actually getting away and keeping the rescued person alive. Which is wierd, because that's kind of the point? But fighting is for Heroes, and the way Heroes rescue people is to fight the threat until the threat is gone. It's the fictional version of a hostage-rescue by a SWAT team. Whereas in real life rescuing someone is usually not about destroying the threat but just getting the person out of the threatening situation and not unduly endangering yourself in the process. Which is what we have in

Graceling

.

The escape from Monsea brings all this stuff together, the practicality and survival and care. It says 'Sewing is a useful skill and so is fishing, and they could both save your life, and there's no reason for them to be gendered like they are'. It says 'Fighting injustice is grand, but surviving cruelty and oppression is also pretty bloody heroic.' It says, 'You can't always decide who needs your care and you can't always help the people you want to help, but if you can keep someone alive and safe you've done an amazing thing.' I really liked that about it.

And that may be why I wasn't too bothered about the odd brevity of the ending, because that didn't feel to me like the climax of the story. We'd already had the climax. The rest was more like a coda and a resolution of the 'Katsa's character development' thread.

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Andy G

at 01:19 on 2012-03-24I finally read this and it was just as brilliant as you said, so thanks for the recommendation.

I read Fire too. What did you think of that? I guess I thought it was good but not *as* good. The characterisation seemed weaker and there were fewer moments that made me just go 'wow'.

[amandasarmada]

Meta: Leta Lestrange (Part 1 of 2)

Tumblr Exclusive for my story “A Chance I’ll Take”

Note, for people seeing this in the tag, this is an extension of a fic I just finished, so not canon.  Also if you have your own theories and just adore who you think Leta is going to be, you may want to avoid reading!  I thought/hoped this was reflection was worth putting in the tag, but it could easily be considered “hate” (although I did try to make it more complex than that).  I know it absolutely breaks my heart when I go to my ship tags and see negativity, so I wanted to give fair warning.  It was not my intention to come in your tag and hate on your girl, I just figured some people interested in her character might enjoy some meta on her. Please don’t read if you’re sensitive about negative commentary!

So - this post contains what is essentially speculation for the personality of Leta Lestrange, explored through my fic “A Chance I’ll Take,” which attempts to take on the rumored events of the second movie.  It’s a combination of explicit canon, inference, and extrapolation (with a healthy sprinkle of wishful thinking). And it’s long af, so buckle up.

So, Leta.  I’ve gotten some very interesting and thoughtful comments from readers on my characterization of her, all of which I found incredibly flattering (you guys are too sweet <3 ) but some of which also concerned me, as maybe I wasn’t as clear as I hoped in sprinkling hints about what kind of person she is. (And maybe minds will be changed, now that the story is officially finished, and everything has been laid bare.)

For example, someone said something along the lines of ‘being grateful that I didn’t just do the catty thing - and that in a different world, she could see Tina and Leta being tentative friends (or at least having a mutual respect for each other).’  While I did try hard not to just write Leta as a one-dimensional Uber Sadistic Evil Bitch, I don’t think she’s someone Tina (or most people) would want to be friends with.  I certainly wouldn’t.  I think she’s a remarkably dangerous person, in part because on the surface she seems fairly likable.

In other words, the original commenter can definitely be forgiven for her misinterpretation of Leta, because that’s exactly the point.  She’s the snake hidden in the grass (funnily enough, I’ve toyed with a headcanon that she’s secretly a snake animagus, but that’s a topic for another time).

Let’s back up a bit.

Leta has many positive traits.  She’s fun, spontaneous, charming, almost unnervingly beautiful, and clever as they come.  And clearly, she’s not entirely unpleasant, as Newt had many happy moments with her.  (She also, importantly - and as has now been revealed - has a very sad backstory.  This not only makes her much more sympathetic, and causes people to be more willing to overlook her negative traits, but also makes them actively want to protect her. It’s an important distinction, as Newt and Tina are both “protectors” by nature and reluctant to turn away those they view as being vulnerable.)  

Now in acknowledging Leta’s positive traits, I also wanted to draw attention to a very common real-life parallel - which is that toxic, even abusive people can be incredibly likable (and lovable!), when they’re not actively performing toxic behaviour.  In Leta’s case, it’s not just a show, either - she isn’t a full-fledged sociopath, she does genuinely care about Newt, and she isn’t simply pretending to be nice to get him to forgive her or ‘fall into her trap’, at least not consciously.  But her behaviour is nevertheless extremely unhealthy, and even if she has underlying reasons exacerbating that behaviour (whether it be mental illness, or coping mechanisms due to childhood abuse), it still remains unhealthy, even criminal, and she should be held responsible for it.

This is extremely relevant because in my mind (and most importantly, in my story) Leta bears several characteristics of a pathological narcissist.

Here’s how David Yates explains her:

“She’s quite complicated and damaged and confused...she’s a kind of tragic figure.”

I think (or at least hope) the version of Leta I created is all of those things, but that doesn’t mean she’s a good or noble person. She isn’t.

In my mind, Leta is someone who likes control. Part of this is a consequence of her life experiences, and very understandable - she grew up in an oppressive, rigid household, in which she was put under immense social pressures and literally had no control of her own body (which was subject to ritual abuse).  But I think Leta is naturally controlling as well, and she exerts her desire for control in unhealthy, unacceptable ways, to the detriment of others around her.  (I’ll discuss this more in part 2, when I discuss Leta as a foil for Tina.)

She also doesn’t see how her behaviour puts others off, and it’s one of the reasons why she - like Newt - was a loner at school.  Leta actually doesn’t have much difficulty making friends - it’s keeping them that’s the problem. Socializing is a complicated undertaking for her.  She adores attention and admiration, but she gets easily bored with people (and shows it), and generally expects much more from others than she’s willing to give back, which other people quickly tire of.  She’s also extremely emotionally volatile, and her tears and tantrums caused most of her classmates to steer clear of her early on.  These episodes became less public as she grew older, but the underlying reasons for them persisted, and she was never as popular as one might expect for a girl of her charm and talents.

Little hints of her and Newt’s interactions at school shed light on these traits - for one thing, she’s manipulative, bossy, and selfish, though she manifests these characteristics in a lighthearted way that helps mask and soften the extent of her controlling tendencies. Although I didn’t get to explore it quite as much directly in the text, my headcanon going into this story was that often, when Leta wants something from someone, she frames it in a way that elicits sympathy rather than demanding it outright, such as asking through tears. And those tears aren’t insincere run-of-the-mill “crocodile tears” either, exactly - it’s more complicated than that. Much like a child, she sees her needs and even desires (however petty or inconvenient) as paramount, and the thought of not getting everything she wants (or at least as much as possible) is genuinely distressing to her. Obviously, these aren’t unusual traits, and we all exhibit them at times (especially in our youth, or in times of fatigue or stress or hunger), but in Leta they’re exaggerated to an extreme, persist into adulthood, and are nearly constant - rather than being the infrequent, occasional occurrences typical of most mature, well-adjusted adults.  In a nutshell, Leta’s recklessness and unruliness often gets her into trouble, and she doesn’t mind bringing people along with her.  And despite thinking of herself as a fairly independent person (she’s certainly ingenious and resourceful enough), Leta is extremely manipulative of other people, and constantly drains the energy of those around her.

None of these things are particularly pleasant, but in Leta’s case her faults delve into the genuinely disturbing.

As we saw in Chapter 7, Leta performed the Imperius Curse on her brother, Lacerto, in order to get the information they needed to save Newt.  Hopefully, when you first read this, it made you sit up and widen your eyes a bit, because it’s a big moment, and it says a lot about her character.  

While there are circumstances in which performing the Imperius Curse doesn’t necessarily and irredeemably make you “evil” (Harry himself did it when they broke into Gringotts), there is a reason why the Imperius Curse is considered Unforgivable.  And compare the two situations - Harry did it in an emergency and as a last resort; Leta planned to do it ahead of time.  She set out to do it deliberately, and she did it at length, taking full advantage of the act, and without considering alternative options (like searching through his things, for example, or tricking him).  She forced her brother to sit and draw an extensive map of Nurmengard, interrogated him about security measures and Grindelwald’s movements, then wiped his memory of the incident.  It would have taken hours, and caused a considerable amount of emotional distress for her victim.  No, her brother wasn’t a “good guy”, and yes, Newt’s life was in danger, but hopefully this action makes you at least uneasy.  And we see that absolutely, Queenie doesn’t approve when she sees it in her mind, and she knows Tina would be equally horrified if she knew of the methods they’d unknowingly been associated with, which is why she didn’t tell her.  Here’s the exact quote:

Tina gaped at her, her eyes widening as she started flipping through the heavily-detailed notes. “How did you-?”

“You don’t want to know.”

It was Queenie who answered. She looked slightly sick, and was suddenly eyeing Leta with distaste, and something else that might have been – fear. 

(Chapter 7)

This is only very, very subtly hinted at, but the fact that Queenie is so appalled by what she sees also suggests something else - that Leta didn’t have remorse, and that maybe she even reveled in having someone else so much at her mercy, rather than seeing it as a necessary evil she felt deeply conflicted about. Something about Leta’s mind disturbed Queenie, that’s for sure, and that’s also the feeling I got while watching the movie, when she’s reading Newt...Queenie does not like or trust this woman. At any rate, hopefully we all agree that Leta’s actions were morally ambiguous at best. 

What maybe (?) many people also didn’t catch, is that in the flashback, when Leta performed the experiments on the jarvey which later attacked Abraxas Malfoy, not only did she give the creature potentially dangerous substances in order to increase its powers, Newt mentioned explicitly that it would have been afraid during the attack.  I wanted to subtly suggest in the story that indeed, Leta had Imperiused it as well.  In short, she sees living things as potential tools to control, and will use force if need be.  (And then there’s the question of why she’d performed those experiments on the jarvey at all.  She was trying to figure out how to create more potent tools to have at her command - again looking to control and exploit. This also raises the point that a great deal of effort and deliberation went into Leta’s scheme against Malfoy; this wasn’t a prank, it was a premeditated attack.  She had to think up the idea in the first place, then brew and perfect the potions, and practice the Imperius Curse to master placing it on the jarvey when the moment came.  She had a lot of time to change her mind about going through with it, but she didn’t.)

Equally important, Leta refused to accept responsibility for her actions, and put the blame on everyone else - ‘Malfoy deserved it’ (even though he could have been killed, due to the “enhancements” Leta had done on the jarvey), ‘his father was overreacting’, she ‘couldn’t have known’ they’d kill the animal that gravely attacked a student.  Sure, many people will try to convince themselves of such things after they’ve made a terrible mistake because they can’t bear to face themselves and the reality of what they’ve done, but Leta also made it clear she’d be willing to do it again.  Though she showed momentary discomfort at the jarvey’s death, this could just as easily be read as a reaction to the situation spiraling out of her control, and her losing one of the tools she’d so carefully cultivated.  Her uneasiness is also gone as quickly as it appears; for her, the suffering and death of innocent creatures to do her bidding is an acceptable cost of achieving her goals.

Most importantly, despite the fact that an innocent creature is dead and a student is in mortal peril at her hand, Leta’s primary concern throughout the scene is always the preservation of her own well-being.  First she tries to downplay the severity of the attack to save face (knowing Newt is unhappy about Malfoy’s condition and wanting to preserve his image of her in his mind), and when he makes it impossible for her to worm out of it, she turns cold and reiterates that he deserved it.

Fifteen years later, Leta is largely friendless; she’s effectively pushed away the one person who could have saved her, if she’d allowed herself to be saved. Although she is regretful of this, it’s not enough for her to actually change her behaviour in order to truly seek contrition.  She expects Newt to forgive her, she feels entitled to it; when he doesn’t, she wallows in self-pity rather than reflecting on why that might be.

Also, though she does take a risk to help in Newt’s rescue, she could have done much more (every wand counted, and she could have concealed her identity if she was worried about being hunted down later), and again, she’s never made any real effort to find redemption for her past crimes.  Note the words Newt uses when Tina asks if she’s ever shown remorse - “She’s apologized five or six times over the years for what all her actions cost me.” Never has she expressed guilt over causing the creature’s death, or gravely injuring another human being.  Newt actually addresses this distinction himself, and that this bothers him far more than his expulsion. 

That said, Leta’s choice regarding the expulsion, too, is heavily significant. Although the original decision to let Newt take the fall is tragic and understandable, given her fear of her father’s wrath, fifteen years have now passed.  Leta is a grown woman, living on her own and free of her father’s tyranny.  She could come forward and clear Newt’s name and face the consequences of what she did (and these consequences would be significantly lighter now), but she chooses not to.  To someone like Tina, who believes in honesty, courage, and integrity, this makes Leta the antithesis of everything she values - which I’ll discuss more in Part 2.

Thoughts you’d like to share?  Thanks for wading through my little essay!