#[ like... masks r not just a covid thing and i think that's one of the worst things abt all this ]

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

love when media has something that enhances people’s fears to the point where they’re severely incapacitated and remembering some of the worst experiences of their life. that’s the representation i need

[shigussy]

my manager apologised to me today for being rude she was stressed out bc of her other job

[rennisaturate]

i can like... feel myself getting sick rn. love that for me truly

[covid-safer-hotties]

To My Unmasked Friend in the Fifth Year of COVID - By: Anna Holmes - Published Aug 17, 2024

I’m going to be honest with you, because I love you, and you deserve nothing but honesty. I’m going to try really hard not to be angry while I do it, but it’s probably going to slip out every now and again. But I need you to hear me out, all right?

By now, we’ve talked about my reality. My personal struggle with long COVID, the isolation I live in, why I am so angry all the time.

But let’s talk about you. You just went to a big convention overseas. You got on a plane, got a little gussied up, talked shop with some insiders, geeked out over awards and merch, ate, drank, were merry, left with your social cup and your heart full.

You’re a good person. We wouldn’t be friends otherwise! You’d never dream of tripping a person with a red and white cane, using the r-word, excluding a disabled person from an event because of something they can’t help.

You might even acknowledge that the COVID response from governments and organizations has been ableist and inadequate.

But you didn’t wear a mask.

For whatever reason — you wanted to show off your makeup, it makes you itchy, you believed the messaging that COVID is endemic (what does that actually mean?), you just don’t think about it anymore — you made a choice that actively excludes people like me from participating not only in an event like a convention, but society at large. And yes, it is a choice. Every time you step out into the world without a mask on your face, you have made a decision that your very good reason, whatever it is, supersedes the right of disabled and at-risk people to exist safely in your orbit.

Well, hold on, you say. It’s not any one individual’s fault, it’s the inadequate public health messaging. Isn’t that what you’ve been saying?

And I have. In the past, I have talked about how it is unconscionable that health authorities have thrown their hands up and rescinded guidance that would have saved hundreds of thousands of lives and prolonged a pandemic that, to hear them tell it, has been bested. It hasn’t. Worst of all, the financial motivation that we all know is driving this premature victory lap isn’t even being fulfilled. Long COVID and other post-COVID complications are costing the global economy one trillion a year. Meanwhile, article after article handwrings about nobody wanting to work anymore, about the sagging college application scene, about declines in military enlistment, and the strain on our healthcare systems.

All of this is very much the fault of our leaders, who have decided the political ramifications of “normalcy” are more important than the health and lives of the 400 million people living with long COVID across the globe, the immunocompromised folks who are increasingly being shut out of every conceivable public space, and the disabled community which has been screaming into the wind about our marginalization since before the virus even hit US soil.

But I want to be very clear. You are helping them do this.

The reality is that we have been living in this deeply flawed landscape of “personal choice”, and you’ve made yours. You’ve opted not to look into how densely clustered cases are. You’ve stopped listening to your friends who have informed themselves. You’ve given yourself permission to put COVID on the back burner. You’ve earned it, right? Four and a half years of trauma?

COVID doesn’t care if you’re tired of being scared or careful or considerate. COVID is not something you can personally overcome by being smart or virtuous or brave. It is a virus which only seeks to infect and replicate, and it is getting very good at those things. While you’ve looked away, my community has been scrambling to avoid variants that skirt immunity and don’t show up on rapid tests until day five-seven. The constant battle has changed since you were last in it. It’s not sufficient anymore to get your shots and test before a big event. You could well be asymptomatic and infectious, or have symptoms and convinced yourself it can’t be COVID because that second line hasn’t popped up.

You have come to the conclusion sometime between 2022 and now that you just have to decide what level of risk you’re comfortable with and live with it. The problem with that is scale. It’s you and everybody else doing that, and a lot of people have decided they are comfortable with a high level of risk. Despite what you’ve been told, you’re not just making that decision for yourself. You are making it for every person you come in contact with.

Think back to the early tense days of 2020. We were told to select a “bubble.” Those people would be our social lifelines, and through those, we could control our exposure.

My bubble is quite small. It includes my husband, my sister, and two friends I see relatively frequently.

My husband goes to work via the bus, and to the grocery store. Every person he comes in contact with there has the potential to infect him, and then he has the potential to pass it along to me. He mitigates this by wearing a well-fitted respirator at all times.

My sister goes to work at a busy public place. She masks when public facing and takes it off in the back office. She goes to restaurants, bars, concerts, hangs out with friends and her own partner unmasked. About 75% of her interactions have the heightened potential to infect her, which she might then bring into my house when she visits me.

My friends do not mask anywhere except my house when asked. They attend concerts, shows, cons, bars.

Obviously, I am in control of whether I wear a mask around these people. And as we approach one million new cases a day, I will be around everyone but my husband. But science is clear: reciprocal masking is more effective at infection control than a single person masking — especially when that single person is trying to protect themselves, not others.

This is settled science. We’ve known this since 2020. It says clearly that the choice you make is not personal- it has implications for everyone you come in contact with.

And being clear — if I could, I’d make everyone wear a mask for their own health. I don’t want people suffering with what I have. But you’ve been told this lie that you can take your risks for yourself, so you feel comfortable going out without a mask. You’ve been told this lie that it’s possible to completely recover from a COVID infection, so you assume that even if you do catch it, that’s what’ll happen to you, despite evidence showing that every body is indelibly changed by an infection, and that risk only grows with each subsequent infection.

And the greatest lie of all — that only the sick or elderly have anything to fear from COVID — has given you unfounded confidence in your own “good” genes or immune system or fitness. You can get long COVID even if you’re in peak form — in fact, may even be more likely to be hit hard.

So you have decided, individually and collectively, that only the sick or elderly should have to take precautions, and you freewheel through life, only to get surprised and dismayed when you bump into COVID in the wild. It’s back, people declare every summer or winter, as though it ever left.

But I want you to really think about the implications of your choice. Besides yourself. Because let’s be honest here, that’s who you’ve been thinking about, right? Your risk. Your comfort. Never mind your bubble, never mind the bubble of everyone you come into contact with, never mind the people like me who are literally hiding from people like you.

You’re not masking at the doctor’s office. You’re not masking at the airport. You’re not masking at the giant superspreader you just attended, and you’re not masking in the bars and restaurants where we know the virus flourishes. And then you’re bringing that exposure back to your family and friends. Back to the grocery store, where you run across people like my husband, shopping for someone who is unsafe to leave the house, or your elderly neighbors, or an immunocompromised employee.

You’re a good person, or you like to think of yourself that way. That’s why when you’re asked to mask, you dismiss it out of hand — because that changed behavior implies that you’ve been doing something wrong.

And my friend, I’m telling this because I love you: you have been. You might have been doing that on faulty information, but be honest with yourself and with me — you’ve heard me begging people to take this seriously. You’ve seen the information I’ve been sharing. You have had the opportunity to seek out the correct information all along, and you have chosen not to.

It isn’t too late to change your view of the risk you’re imposing on the people around you. It’s not too late to push public health to become more effective. It’s not too late to act in solidarity and be the inclusive person you think you are. It’s not too late to take care of yourself.

Ultimately, that’s what I have been screaming myself hoarse about. I don’t want you to end up with what I have. I don’t want you to inadvertently impose that on someone else. And yes, I’ve been angry, because you’ve been advertising your absolute lack of concern with group shots of your naked faces on social media. It doesn’t seem to bother you that I am stuck at home like it’s 2020, except for doctors’ appointments that I literally have to risk my life to go to. You’ve told yourself that it’s not your problem, because only the sick and elderly have to take precautions.

You know better. You can do better. For your community, yourself, and me, do better.

Please. I love you.

Anna

PS. If you’re feeling upset and embarrassed right now, the best thing you can do is take action. Get yourself good masks (the surgicals and cloth ones don’t cut it anymore), donate to mask blocs so others can access good masks, write to your representatives and the President, comment on upcoming CDC guidance, schedule yourself a booster, and talk to your loved ones about doing better, too. The only way we get out of this is with community care. So care.

[playingplayer2]

Just thinking about how if the world had kept masking, like seriously masking, from 2020-now how different everything would be. Like if you treated a deadly pandemic like a deadly pandemic, instead of downplaying it and gaslighting the people affected by it, if you didn't spread misinformation, if it being airborne wasn't hushed up from the fucking get-go. Just fucking everything.

I haven't hung out with people since late 2021. Basically all my friends stopped masking and started acting like I was being paranoid about a "minor cold." Like the actual fuck?

"when you feel safe going out again" LIKE BIRCH HOW TF AM I GONNA FEEL SAFE WHEN YOU'VE BEEN GOING AROUND UNMASKED to sports games and your job and family events and fucking weddings and restaurants and bars? HOW

How am I going to feel safe when you gaslight me in every conversation and fallout ignore me for literal days if I send information about covid and its effects? Literally how.

It causes people permanent, chronic heart, lung, brain, and other organ damage! It causes fertility issues! Chronic fatigue- I already HAVE chronic fatigue! It makes things like POTS and hEDS worse! A mild case now could mean a sudden stroke or heart attack in your near future!

Babies being born with glass lung, babies being born with covid- COVID fucking COLONIZES your body! It HIDES INSIDE YOU. And dear gods! The toxic work culture of work even when you're sick, go to school even when your sick!! Spread it far and wide to everyone WHEN YOU'RE SICK.

Politicize HEALTHCARE- it's been happening for for-fucking-ever so let's do it some more!

It's a FUCKING VIRUSSSSSS THAT CAN EVEN CHANGE HOW YOUR BRAIN WORKS

It can make you become more violent, more impulsive, aggressive, fucking SUICIDAL.

Cognitive issues GALORE, including L I T E R A L L Y losing braincells!!! Literally!!!

So yeah. It's great. I'm fine. This is fine.

I'm not massively depressed or angry over this. I mean, I, and everyone else, have only lost the last 4-5 years. I turned 18 after the pandemic started. I'm now 22. And it's still ongoing! I definitely don't feel suicidal because it doesn't seem like it's gonna fucking end, not at all. It's fantastic even! I get to be scared that by wearing my mask out in public, I could get attacked. I've certainly been harassed over it enough times.

It's not like how the world has mishandled covid has led to the mishandling of majorly infectious diseases (*cough* Monkey pox *cough* H5N1 *cough*). No, of fucking course not.

It's not essentially LIKE AIDS- IT'S NOT LIKE CHINA WAS GONNA CALL IT SAIDS - AS IN: SARS-AIDS!!!! BEFORE THE FUCKING WHO SHUT THAT DOWN. NOOOOOOO

It's not like it was caused by lax bio & security measures in fucking Canada— because they didn't fucking vet they're employees and their BSL standards WERE FOR SHIT!!!!!!!!

It's not like everyone in my house is at a higher risk of getting it. It's not like we'd be totally screwed over if even one of us were even slightly less able-bodied. It's thin fucking line most days but I'm terrified of what would/could happen if I am unable to make meals and do laundry, I already have to spend most of my days sitting or laying down. I don't fucking know what I'd do if I couldn't do that. I don't know what my family would do.

My family is trying to get OUT of an unsafe household where extended family belittle and gaslight and get violent regularly because we need, need, NEED, for us and them to keep masking. Said extended family has literally threatened to kill us before! So it's great.

It's fantastic.

[seoafin]

I think it's truly just the saddest thing that none of Ur anons have rlly gooned out in here over the Gojo footfetish truth you have so graciously tried to promote and put out there. How r ppl not talking about this. he'd absolutely have one, he'd nut so hard over ripmcs dainty lil' toes strokin his shit don't let him go near her when she's wearing tights bro that silky sole combo would have him spermin so hard shit would leap into her eyes. Like tbh I'm sawrry if it's tmi but that guy has no shame he'd be telling her to lift up her arms after walking around in town all day so he can jerk his cawk and sniff her pits like wtf do u think he keeps doin w the panties he and suguru keep stealing girl he is wearing that shit liek a COVID mask I don't understand how we as Gojo gaggers have such limited content on satoru being a literal fucking sex pest like this is a man who acts like he's hopped up on coke at least once every 24 hours he's not gonna be normal about ripmcs body dude probably wants to lick inside her ears too or some shit he's a weirdo lol (yeah suguru too tbh but that's mostly because he finds it fun to make ripmc rlly uncomfortable lmao)

thank u....my footjob gojo agenda lives to see another day.....this is so fucking funny because you've read my mind for the exact type of sex fiend gojo is. he is that tumblr post that says "men will fuck anything...you could throw a plate across the room and a man will fuck it before it lands" except replace men with gojo and make anything specific to you. he is such a little freak in bed. he also wants you to full on stomp on his dick. might even say please. you could poke his dick with a toe and you'll get a full body shudder. he's so unashamed about it too. Idek if ur joking abour the armpit licking ear stuff but he'd be into that too he's just so horny but like. in the really weird way 😭

[pandemic-info]

It is hard — re: "when you look out the window or when you’re out in your N95 and see 99% of the population going about things as if there’s no pandemic."

It is hard.

It helps me to remember that what we see outside is factually not 99%, just our own anecdotal sample. Some larger than others: I live in one of the most populated, traveled-to cities in the world and see a royal shit-ton of people every time I go outside — yet another reason I join the few masking.

(I get it that in other, less crowded places things look different; that's a contributor to confusion online. My city problems may not make sense to someone in the suburbs, but we're in the same discussion without any context.)

OTOH, I look at the data and know that outside, I won't see the invisible others. Those who are IC, have LC, etc. Of course they/we group online, since that's the only place to safely be and discuss.

I also know that people, even those who are informed, value social norms. E.g. Dr. Fauci going to some event and removing his mask because others were, then getting covid. And here's a good thread: https://twitter.com/Helenreflects/status/1641003804584972289

So I think a combination of a few factors contribute to those still masking; any single one may not be enough:

being closer to the nonconformist end of the spectrum to begin with (i.e. "I care about people; less so what they think.")

being informed, scientifically-literate

cultural (conforming, but to a different group)

those who've experienced chronic illness (not just the physical aspects but also how others react short and long-term...

and the resulting distrust built up from that: lack of, or lack of trust in the strength of safety nets — social and financial

likewise, those who've experienced gaslighting (this term is overused lately, but having experience with that can lead to personal high valuation of fact-checking and record-keeping, and again a lower regard for what some others are doing or saying)

privilege / circumstances (e.g. it may be harder for someone with kids; they might be more likely to be more fatalistic if it seems insurmountable. or e.g. this person's BF who probably felt high pressure due to this mandatory work event: https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/11h3ciu/comment/jart4aj/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

[wndaswife]

https://www.tumblr.com/wndaswife/758720363597316096/the-fact-that-lizzie-has-no-piercings-is-beyond-me

stop, rae - i had this exact thought yesterday haha. i actually just got my first helix piercing a few days ago, do you have any advice? bc lowkey its so sore :( i’m very firm on cleaning it twice a day and not touching it whatsoever so i’m hoping my healing is on par with the 6-9 months my piercer told me. i’m getting a little worried bc a couple ppl have told me theirs isn’t healed after, like, 2 years … but i’m like, girlies i feel like you’re not as careful as me 💅🏼 (i’m extremely paranoid over this lmao i don’t want an infection)

ohhhh i get it, i got mine during covid and my fucking mask kept getting caught in it so i would just tug at it super hard by accident

my piercer told me sometimes it's actually better to clean once a day as long as it doesn't keep developing things u need to clean in which case twice is good, because he said your body will do most of the cleaning and anti bacterial stuff! just make sure u are cleaning with good stuff like saline solution (and some ppl say not to do this but it was fine for me - warm water and some salt) the soreness is really normal and so is the swelling, but everyone's reaction and healing is totally different (so... if once a day starts being weird then stay with twice a day, if it works better for u then it works better for u, everyone is so diff)

if it gets infected you'll be able to tell, it will literally be an unbearable pain and you might even get sick and the piercing hole will start looking strange if it begins rejecting the jewelry (none of this ever happened to me but if it's infected you can just tell somehow! also i like to read reddit stuff about piercing advice)

my cartilage is super healed lolz and was very healed like.... def within the year i think tho it was prone to being sore if i slept directly on it somehow or if my headphones were just pressing against it (which i also think is normal if any part of your skin is pressed up against metal)

and ur piercings and ears r pretty resilient, but the healing isn't exactly linear, at least for me! but also yes don't touch it as much as possible :) this one im bad at i literally fuck with my piercings to fidget which is why i bring a fidget toy to study LMFAO

[tr4n5-p055um]

Just saw a ad for a controversial organization on a r/religious fruitcake video by emkay (named turning point USA), so let’s talk about it!

—-what is turning point usa?

glad you asked! Turing point USA is a American (obviously) organization that advocates for conservative/rightist politics on high school grounds, college grounds, and university grounds. It is known as one of the most fastest growing school organizations and is known for its massive campus conservatism.

The organization also has many different mini websites and businesses (if that’s what you even call them) that are dedicated to doing things such as tracking down liberal professors (which is public harassment and maybe even doxxing, which I’ll get to about later) and even a school watch board that tracks down kids who wear anti-racist beliefs and even people who think masks are essential (yikes, we’ll get to that later as well!) not only are these legal issues, but they are public harassment and doxxing as well.

now, go into some of the controversies, shall we?

Turning point action? More like turning point bashing.

one of its sister websites named turning point action has a quite embarrassing view on the Covid 19 vaccines. Charlie Kirk (one of the founders) supported a Tampa convention center where he would give students a script about resisting the Covid vaccine. Kirk would also warn that Biden was sending individuals to send a Covid vaccine door to door. He also made Facebook ads saying that the President Biden has no right to put experimental injections into you. He said to lock your doors.

many vaccine experts say that these are not factual info, and is just a spew of misinformation. Many individuals have died because of the disease, especially when you are under 18.

experts warn individuals that these ads will take you to a donation page. It’s already been a rough ride, so why not make individuals sick and possibly die because some man with an evil heart told them not to. This is even worse knowing that young adults are most likely to not be vaccinated and be against the vaccine.

Kirk himself replied to the very much needed information and said it was “a pro-freedom movement, not “anti-Vax”” it’s also not good enough because the virus hits HARD in conservative states. He claims that there are unknown side effects at the time this was said. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that people don’t die. He warns people stores and airlines to not trust it, his reasoning ? Because he says that people are still testing positive THE REASON PEOPLE ARE TESTING POSITIVE DUDE ARE BECAUSE YOU SAY NOT TO TRUST IT, THUS LEADING TO POSITIVE RESULTS.

If clicking on a ad of his, the article shows that, apparently, the government is here to inject fluids into you and “force” you to show a medical history. Facebook has to turn down these ads because they violated the rules of the app on denial of vaccines.

References down below.

I will do a part 2 in a day or two, so come on to my follows for some news, shall we?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/07/29/vaccine-mandates-charlie-kirk-tpusa/

[chaoticgenders]

jeff the killer headcanons, if you like these n want more tell me becuz i might make a headcanon/one shot tumblr. i've always wanted too, it sounds amazing lol

knife tw under the cut, ig, idk it's jeff the killer

Jeff The Killer

this is relativity a different concept of jeff, because i'm rewriting his story and things r very different lmaooo.

20s/30s

His name is really spelt Geoffrey and he goes by Geo for short. lol.

ppl spell it jeff and he usually never bitched because he doesn't care.

mouth is relatively healed, although he can't really emote much because his face is numb due to nerve loss, talking is also hard.

how i consider his story he's had upper eyelid reconstruction and he has relativity normal eyes, although his vision is quite terrible and wears glasses.

He has selective mutism because I said so.

ADHD haver

he also has ASPD, i'm projecting but it makes sense to me shush /t

bites finger nails

does knife tricks bcuz what else r u doing in ur spare time lol

i read somewhere that he loves middle parts and it just makes sense to me

his hair is silky as hell and goes to the top of his back

voice is very scratchy and there's always something stuck in his throat it seems

he's always clearing his throat

he's a really good hugger and likes to bear hug people, especially s/o's although he's prone to just patting people on the back Like A Dad.

avg weed enjoyer

because we're all thinking it, i feel like he'd be really weird in bed. not in a awkward way, but more in a "why w/ me there's plenty of other people" way lol. i wont get too nsfw on this acc, but he kisses a lot during it <3

he's relatively okay with kids, although hates being around them because they're usually scared of him, and their parents bitch at him for existing because of scaring peoples' kids.

he's always worn a face mask, the influx of covid made everything more stressful for him, but also relieving.

he's Libramasculine, Dryagender, & Genderliminal

he uses a fuck ton of pronouns, usually online (i feel like he'd be a avid tiktok and tumblr user), he uses he/they irl but he/they/it/blade/blood/slash/gore online

he's pansexual, demiromanticspike, and autoplatonic (literally he's his own bestfriend lol)

[juminsmysticmc]

Pregnancy Series - Part 2

Finding out 

Hope you like the second part of my pregnancy series! 

Click here to read Part 1!  

Jumin 

You dried your tears after you dried your hands with the towel next to you, observing the pregnancy test you just took in front of you.

You hated that one stick so much that whenever your period was late, your heart was beating in fear and not happiness.

One and a half years passed ever since you and Jumin began to try for a baby and there was still no baby.

You couldn’t bear seeing your husband’s sad face anymore whenever you gave him the news that you weren’t pregnant and that this was just a false alarm.

You were sure that this time too, the result wouldn’t be the one you hoped for.

A last glance on the clock made you look at the pregnancy test for the last time before you would toss it into the trash can since you had to get the breakfast ready for Jumin, but somehow this time, something was different.

Your heart was beating crazily in your chest as your cheeks grew warm.

You slowly placed your hand on your belly as you watched the results on the stick you hated so much.

,,Pregnant’’ it said.

You slowly sat back on the toilet, the pink stick between your hands as you read it again. ,,Pregnant,’’ you gasped, trying to gulp the tears away.

,,J-’’ you were about to call your husband when your brain decided to think about this logically.

What if the test is false and he gets excited?

And so, you instead decided to not say anything and instead put the test in your pocket to hide in a bag so that he wouldn’t see anything.

The first thing you would do, however, was go to the doctor after breakfast.

,,My love, I forgot that I have to meet a friend after breakfast. I know I shouldn’t come late as your second secretary, but-’’

Jumin kissed you as he took his bowl of rice.

,,You are my wife and are allowed to do anything. Do you need Driver Kim perhaps?’’ of course you declined and even though you knew, you just lied. You knew that this was going to protect him…

,,Six weeks pregnant, Mrs Han. Your pregnancy test wasn’t wrong,’’ the doctor told you after a checkup, making you tear up.

She then made you follow her to a room where she made an ultrasound and eventually gave you your first picture of your baby.

The doctor explained the next steps, telling you that she wanted to see you regularly.

,,I’m so happy that you finally are here on your way and you did well. It's daddy’s birthday this weekend and you are already a perfect baby,’’ you sobbed as you looked around for some ideas for Jumin’s surprise...

Zen

,,I don’t think I can come today,’’ you groaned as you laid back as you just came back from throwing up into the toilet.

An acidic taste was left in your mouth, making you feel disgusting.

As if an upset stomach wasn’t enough, you even had a slight fever.

Your body felt weak and all you wanted to do was sleep, well, not that you could do anything else in this condition.

Your boyfriend looked concerned for you. The possibility of you being pregnant wasn’t even on his mind since the both of you finally gave up, wanting to wait again after so many failed attempts.

Well, Zen wanted to try more. It was more so you who couldn’t bear it mentally and so he stopped buying pregnancy tests.

,,It’s the time of the flu in February… well, I’ll stay with you,’’ Zen whispered and kissed your nose, feeling sad to see you so sick.

,,No,’’ you tried to stop him.

,,You need to go to work. It’s okay, I’ll sleep a bit and later when you are back, I will be better and I will be able to go to the doctor,’’ you told him, closing your eyes because right now everything was spinning in your head. You just wished for it to get better.

Zen hesitated, but agreed afterwards, giving you a last kiss. ,,I will come earlier, I mean, I took a holiday leave for tomorrow so I shouldn’t have much to do today,’’ he told you and quickly left as he was late for work.

You decided to close your eyes for a few seconds again before a big feeling of nausea hit you again, making you run to the toilet.

,,Ugh, I hate throwing up,’’ you silently cried to yourself as you tried to hold your own hair back.

It didn’t take you long until you decided to dial your doctor's number on your phone and ask for an appointment this afternoon.

,,Thank you, I will be there,’’ you said as the nurse asked you to come right away, making you groan in annoyance and get changed.

The weather was cold as you stepped out, closing the door behind you and walking towards the medical facility, rubbing your hands together as you were freezing.

,,Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day,’’ you remembered as you walked past a shop selling chocolate, remembering that you didn’t buy anything for your boyfriend yet.

,,Pretty lady! We even sell chocolate done with a picture chosen by you! Want to give it a try!? I bet you have a boyfriend!’’ a woman smiled at you, showing you pictures of white chocolate with edible photos printed on it.

You thanked her, telling her that you had to go somewhere and had no time.

A few streets away you arrived, putting your mask on and entering the building, telling the nurses that you had an appointment.

,,When I heard that you had a slight fever and felt nauseous, I knew immediately that you were pregnant!’’ the doctor smiled at you after she checked you up and took your blood sample, making you look in shock at her.

,,R-really? I am...expecting a baby?’’ you asked her, tears slowly coming up and rolling down your cheeks as she nodded.

You immediately called your gynecologist to make a second check and also see if you could already have a sonogram since suddenly you had a very good idea. 

,,Ajumma,’’ you said with a teary face to the woman who wanted to sell you chocolate earlier.

The woman looked concerned at first, but quickly began to tear up herself as you held up a picture.

,,I just got this good news. Will you help me surprise this baby’s father?’’ you asked her.

Yoosung

Soon, you and Yoosung would celebrate your eighth wedding anniversary.  

You were currently sitting in front of the window, thinking about everything the both of you achieved until now.

A lot.

Yoosung had a stable job, you worked with the RFA, both of you had your own big house with a beautiful garden. Your relationship and marriage was the best, there wasn’t anything else you could wish for.  

Everything seemed perfect, if just that one little detail wasn’t missing.

A child.

Something you both could take care of and shower with love and affection as it grew up.

But some things weren’t meant to be. It was just too much for you to handle.

The disappointment you regularly had to face, the pain in your heart.

,,We should give up,“ you whispered as you kept looking outside of the window, tears in your eyes as you said these harsh words.

Giving up was something you would normally never do.

Yoosung hugged you from behind, knowing how much this situation was hurting you and how much this made you depressed.

,,I will be back for dinner,“ he whispered after a few seconds before he rubbed your arms and put on his jacket to step out on his way to work.

As soon as he was outside, you could finally let out that loud sob you held onto yourself to not make Yoosung pity you and cried alone in your room.

,,Ah, I need to go to the doctor today,’’ you groaned as you dried your tears with your palm, sighting and looking at your display as you calculated how much time you still had until you had to go there.

As soon as you arrived, you rolled your eyes in annoyance as you sat down in the waiting room, three pregnant women with their husbands on their side, smiling widely, feeling probably blessed. Today was a bad day.

You were truly happy for every pregnant woman in the waiting room, but seeing them made you angry and made you feel and think things you shouldn’t.

You were jealous, jealous that they achieved something you couldn’t achieve in all these eight years.

,,Mrs. Kim?“ the doctor called you, making you stop thinking about the women around you and instead look up at her.

Your doctor was smiling at you as she asked you to follow her, leading the way to her room where she asked you to sit down to talk to you.

,,How are you?“ she began, ready to listen as you told her that you wanted to give up on getting pregnant.

,,But before that I would like to check one last thing. Is that okay?“ she asked you, nodding as she typed something on her keyboard to note everything you guys talked about.

A bit annoyed, you watched her minutes later as she checked you, finally looking into your eyes, smiling at you.

,,Mrs. Kim, it seems that you are already pregnant. Five weeks,“ she smiled.

In disbelief you observed her, you could feel your eyes get teary. ,,But the last test-”

,,Sometimes they’re false, but you are pregnant,“ she cut you off.

While she talked about a few things you should keep an eye on, all you could think about was that tomorrow you and Yoosung had your anniversary and that this news was the best present you could give him, just like she just gave to you.

Jaehee

,,I just hope you are alright and that they can find out whether it is or isn’t Covid-19,“ Jaehee whispered as she looked out the window.

You weren’t with her together at home, something that already was difficult for her, but knowing that you weren’t feeling well somewhere apart from her made her feel even worse.

The both of you decided to have a little bit of time on your own, making you go to your parents home for the week. Neither of you ever thought that you would stay away longer.

The reason why you both decided to get a distance from your place was that both of you just agreed on giving up on getting pregnant.

It was getting too hard for you and her, knowing that your body couldn’t give you what you wanted - a child.

You and Jaehee already spent about 9.000 won to get you fertilized artificially three times and you both failed three times.

Six weeks ago, when the doctor told you once again that you guys failed, you decided to give up.

As if it was yesterday, Jaehee remembered your crying face in your dark, shared bedroom.

Your loud sobs and your trembling body on the floor.

You were devastated.

She couldn’t bear to see you falling apart anymore and she couldn’t bear to act like the strong one for both of you because she, too, was in too much pain.

As soon as your parents found out, they persuaded you to come back home for a bit to rest.

However, as soon as you arrived, the symptoms of the virus hit you.

You were feeling weak, had a slight fever, and you felt like your limbs hurt a bit.

,,I hope so too. The test was negative. Well, all my tests are negative,’’ you mumbled, making Jaehee feel bad without noticing.

,,Tomorrow they will take a blood sample, but I’m happy that you are feeling good, Jaehee,’’ you said as she told you that her COVID test was also negative. 

,,Okay, I will go and sleep a bit. Call me tomorrow as soon as you know something new,’’ she whispered before she cut the call, her thoughts by your side.

The morning afterwards, your legs were shaking in the isolated waiting room as you waited for your results to come.

Well, if it wasn’t Covid it would be something less worrying, right?

Indeed, the news the doctor had was less worrying since you were told that you were positive - positive for a pregnancy.

,,Huh? But, the doctor said…. we waited so long!’’ you told her, crying out of happiness but not believing her.

,,Yes, sometimes the test can be false or he made a mistake, but I am for sure that you are pregnant,’’ she nodded.

And so, happy that you could go home again, you decided to not tell Jaehee anything and instead surprise her with good and happy news…

Saeyoung

Your husband looked at you with a sad face as you once again felt sick and decided to stay in bed the whole day.

But he knew that you weren’t sick, but more depressed and sad.

He gulped as he looked over to the calendar.

It’s been almost two years since the both of you agreed on trying to become pregnant, even though he was sure that it would work out in less than a year.

But you both failed.

And the one that was hurting her body was none other than yourself, but he could just observe you and stand by your side.

Saeyoung’s eyes wandered over to your desk where countless pills and bottles were standing.

The both of you were currently injecting hormones into you to overstimulate your production of eggs.

He was nibbling on his lips. ,,Mc?’’ he asked you.

,,Mhh?’’ you hummed in response, turning your body to his side.

He hated to see you in pain, feeling unwell, and of course the stress of becoming pregnant was something that bugged you too.

,,Maybe… well no, to be honest, I think that we should stop with the injections wait one, maybe two years for the baby. What do you think? I mean, I don’t want to stress out your body,’’ he whispered to you, nervous for your answer.

You just sadly smiled at him and nodded as you slowly closed your eyes.

,,It’s a good idea. I think I’ll sleep for a while. I actually have a headache,’’ you lied.

Well, the truth was that you stopped taking the injections for four days already, something Saeyoung didn’t know.

He also didn’t know that you were already six weeks pregnant.

But you also just found out at your last appointment when the doctor told you that you were five weeks along, making you feel the most happiest wife on earth.

The reason for your lies was that soon Saeyoung would have his birthday and you wanted to make this day a special day for him, but also for his brother, who would be an uncle soon.

And so you decided to lie to your husband who was clearly worried as hell and told him that you were having side effects of the hormones.

Well, that was something you also thought at first.

The doctor told you from the very first injection that the side effects may be hot flashes, mood swings, nausea, and swelling, so when you first had them, you didn’t actually think that you were pregnant.

But you still wanted to talk with her about it to make sure that everything was fine.

To your surprise, it was more than fine and you were pregnant.

,,We just need to keep the secret,’’ you whispered, rubbing your still flat belly.

Saeran

You patted your boyfriend’s back as he once again sobbed at the negative pregnancy test.

,,I… I’m a loser,’’ he whined and looked at you, his eyes red and swollen from all the tears.

,,Maybe my mother is telling me that I shouldn’t become a father, that I don’t deserve it, that I am bound to become a monster like her and… ahh… so much is going through my head!’’ he whined and threw the test into the next corner, sobbing into his hands.

You slowly began to sob too, feeling guilty.

,,I’m sorry, Saeran… I wish I could do better,’’ you cried as you looked at him. He seemed so fragile.

Your boyfriend suddenly looked up. ,,Why are you apologizing?’’ he asked you. He couldn’t believe what you were saying.

,,I can’t give you what you want. I’m a bad girlfriend,’’ you whined.

,,No!’’ he sobbed again. ,,I’m a bad boyfriend and brother! I can’t find Saeyoung so I’m getting punished and you’ve been with me even though you didn’t do anything!’’ he told you, now hugging you and rubbing your back. ,,I’m so selfish, crying to myself even though you’re in pain too!’’ he sobbed harder.

And so this day, just like other ones, ended with the both of you lying in bed, sobbing into each other's arms as you thought about the future without children.

But it was still empty.

Days passed by and you and Saeran decided to give it up. For the time being, you didn’t want to get stressed, you wanted to enjoy life/ Saeran wanted to find his brother for real now and you just wanted to have a clear head.

But it didn’t work as you felt a sudden pain in your abdomen.

Sick and lightheaded, you laid back in pain, feeling a slight temperature that morning.

Some infection, you thought. Being pregnant wasn’t on your mind back then.

But after you didn’t seem to get healthy again, Saeran decided that it was best to bring you to a hospital.

,,Are you perhaps pregnant?’’ the doctor asked you and seemed to understand the case pretty quickly.

But you wanted a whole diagnosis. ,,No, I can’t get pregnant,’’ you told him, hearing these words from your own mouth hurt even more and so you once again felt your hot cheek as your eyes began to shed tears again.

,,Make a pregnancy test to make sure before doing anything else,’’ he told the nurse and went off to the next patient.

Indeed, the nurse turned back with a big smile, asking you again. ,,Are you sure that you can’t get pregnant?’’ she asked you, rubbing your arm.

,,The last test was negative,’’ you whispered.

,,Well, we will bring you to the maternity ward because it seems that you are pregnant,’’ she chuckled and pushed the wheelchair to the other ward.

,,Uhm, can you please not tell my boyfriend? I… I want to prepare a surprise for him,’’ you told her as you began to smile in happiness.

Finally good news arrived. Was it a sign?

Jihyun

Almost two years passed ever since you and your husband decided to adopt a new child to make Lucy into a big sister.

However, back then the adoption wasn’t possible, making you go for pregnancy.

But to you it just seemed as if God wanted to punish you for something.

,,It’s not working,’’ you sobbed as you found out that this time, too, you weren’t pregnant.

Your husband pressed his lips together and thought of something else.

Injecting hormones into you was something he wanted to avoid.

,,Maybe,’’ he began, looking at you and stroking your hair. ,,Now, we should stop for a bit.

You are stressed out and I’m nervous.

We are doing our best and I’m sure that one day the right time will come and we will be able to have a child on our own,’’ he told you.

He let go of your hand and kissed your head and then walked off to pack his bag.

Jihyun also had to go on a business trip for six weeks so he had to prepare a few things.

As consolation, the both of you lastly had a lovely and also sexy time together. This time you two didn’t think of having a baby, you just wanted to feel each other, feel closer and happier as you both wouldn’t be able to stay next to each other for a bit.

The next morning, Jihyun already left. The house felt empty and you were down, but for Lucy, you kept staying the happy mother she knew, waking her up, preparing her, as well as bringing her to school and then doing your house chores.

But it didn’t take you three weeks until it all backfired. You got a bad virus and weren’t able to get off the bed.

,,I’m so sorry that I can’t help you,’’ Jihyun gasped from where he was currently, feeling guilty.

,,It’s okay. Hyun and Yoosung are helping me and Jaehee keeps an eye on Lucy's tuition while Jumin helps with the hospital and medicine,’’ you groaned as you felt like vomiting again. It was eight in the morning after all.

,,I am such a bad husband. Three more people have to look out for you,’’ he chuckled, happy that you had support at home.

,,Well, you are providing for our family so don’t feel bad. Besides, it’s five. Saeyoung and Saeran are doing their best making Lucy happy and helping me too,’’ you laughed.

A few moments later, you cut the call as a red haired man, none other than Saeyoung entered your room. ,,Hurry up, I am taking you to the doctor’s. I read countless diagnoses with your symptoms and none of them is anything I would like you to have,’’ he said worriedly, helping you get ready after you vomited again.

But the diagnosis you had was much better than you all thought and with happy tears in your eyes, you entered your friend’s car again, actually shocking him. ,,I never thought that you could be so wrong with your diagnosis, Saeyoung. Actually, Jihyun and I are finally going to become parents!’’

Vanderwood

The both of you stopped counting the time at some point.

It just felt like a never ending story. It felt as if it was impossible for the both of you to archive what you wanted to.

Becoming a family.

Having a child between the both of you at night, caring for someone…

The more time passed and the more negative tests you held between your trembling fingers, the more you thought that this was an impossible dream for you.

You kept biting your upper lip as you looked into your calendar again.

You were once again bleeding. It was your period.

A sigh left your mouth as you looked over to Vanderwood.

Ever since he stopped smoking and was actually trying for a child, his mood had gotten weirder and harder to bear.

You weren’t happy anymore.

,,Yo, Vanderwood!’’ you called him, trying to smile as he turned your head over to you. ,,I… can we actually stop trying? You can smoke again and I can… maybe focus on my job for a bit… like, nothing has happened yet. Can we go slowly?’’ you asked him.

This was so out of the blue, he was actually so shocked, maybe a bit pissed off. You fell over him with this topic as if it was the most causal thing to say.

But he still said yes. He still nodded at you and he still agreed with you.

And so he really began to smoke a day later. Of course, smoking wasn’t that good anymore. He actually hated it.

But, he was sulking? He was hurt by you, a bit disappointed even though he could understand what you were trying to tell him.

A few days later, your period didn’t come as strong as it was supposed to be, so you decided to visit a doctor, maybe also to get a prescription for your birth control again.

But the news you got there was something you never expected.

,,You’re pregnant and you’re three weeks along!’’ she said, looking at you happily. She never had a woman who couldn’t get pregnant since she was still not a very well known doctor.

But you, one of her hardest cases, finally did it.

,,Since it was a hard fight, I want you to take these,’’ she said and wrote something down. ,,You need to take them to support your body with the change, make sure to come regularly. I think you already know what to do, but do not lift anything heavy, rest a lot, sleep, drink, whenever something feels off do not hesitate to visit me, okay? I will now schedule the first ultrasound of your baby and then you will have the assignment to search for a midwife to support you, okay?’’ she asked her.

Suddenly you felt so happy and scared at the same time that you didn’t know what to do.

But you already knew that there was someone at home that would be clearly happy to find out and you knew that for sure.

Part 3 of my pregnancy series here

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

🤰🏻ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ sᴇʀɪᴇs🤰🏻Masterlist here 

12.05.2021// 23:55 MEST

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Small Actions (Create Big Ripples) CC!Plat!Ranboo x GN!Reader

I've been thinking lately about this little drabble and it makes me a bit upset? Like.. I'm in this position high key but theres nothing I can do about it...

(R/R/n) stands for Ranboo's real name. Also if you're really tall.... No you're not. Shhhh. For plot purposes

You stayed away from social media as much as possible. Now, don't get me wrong, you used to love watching Youtubers play their games and happily interact with their fans.. But growing up, you never seemed to have enough money to donate when they streamed, or go to events where they were.

You had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped you through life, or shaped your personality.. Or saved you. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it..

You'd probably just get a simple, "Aw. Happy I could help." Before turning back to their game without blinking twice.

So, you just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show your appreciation.. But you never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'

Eventually it hurt too much to keep watching the content creators that raised you, so you just stopped and went on with your life.

It was hard, but at least you didn't have to deal with the fact that you would never be able to thank the people you watched for making your life that much better.

As time went on, while you still heard about the creators, it was just... less. Now people were non stop blabbering about these people from something called the DreamSMP?

Your sister was obsessed with it to say the least, and you always heard her mumbling about strange people like Technoblade? Or Sapnap? And apparently some people had children with inanimate objects?! Like a Samsung Fridge and a salmon?! Yeah you didn't even bother trying to understand what she was rambling about most of the times. It just spun your head in circles.

"Okay, I gotta take my mutt to the vet," Your sister and closest friend, (S/n), tilted her head towards the backseat to her dog as you sat in the passenger seat. "You think you'll be good to do the shopping for two or so hours? I'll call when I'm finished, and plus I know how you can get distracted with looking at some things."

"Yeah, I think I'll be good." You nodded slightly, going over the list in your hand of things to get for your classes, food and just some clothing for the changing seasons.

(S/n) pulled into the parking lot and looked you over briefly, "You forgot your mask didn't you?" She watched as your hands flew up to your face to feel for the fabric, but you didn't find it so you fished through the pockets of your sweater before smiling nervously at the driver. "Uuugggggggghhhh. Of course. Okay, I got a new one from the merch store that you can use, but do not damage it! I spent a whole $30 on it!"

Scoffing as you rolled your eyes, you snagged the half white and half black mask away from her, "You and your merch. Honestly, (S/n), your obsession scares me. But anyway, thanks. I won't get it damaged, I swear." You pulled the mask onto your face after giving her a smile and walked into the store as she drove off.

Sighing slightly, you walked in, sanitized your hands, and set off on your journey to find the things you needed. Surprisingly, today seemed to be a good day as you miraculously pulled the card that didn't have the busted wheel!

Humming a soft tune to yourself, you paced up and down aisles in search of (S/n)'s favourite coffee. Pausing for a moment as you scanned the shelves, you finally spotted it and made a noise of anger as you realized it was on the very top shelf. "Oh, I hate it here..." You mumbled, a phrase you had picked up from your sister who was really big on trends like that.

Grumbling to yourself, you stood on the tips of your toes, jumped up and down, even climbed the shelves a small bit, but it just seemed to brush by your fingertips every time. Apparently it had been long enough to the point where someone had wandered into the aisle as well.

"Hey... Uh.. Nice mask? You need help?" A male voice asked very hesitantly making your head turn towards him. He was t a l l and literally could tower over you if you got close enough. He had fluffy dirty blonde hair possibly? It looked a little damp so you couldn't really tell. Rain had been in the weather report, but guess it couldn't hold off long enough. Oddly enough, he was wearing dark sunglasses and the exact same mask as you?

'Maybe he's a fan of one of (S/n)'s fandoms?' You stepped back with a sheepish smile and a blush. "Oh! Yes please! Uhm.. Also, could you tell me about what these masks represent? This is my sister's... And I kinda want to make sure I'm not looking like I'm part of some gang or something."

The tall boy reached up for the coffee before pausing midway through and looking at you in surprise. "You don't know who... Oh, it's just from a Twitch Streamer.." He murmured rather softly as he got the coffee down for you.

With a cheerful "Thank you!" You placed the container in the cart. "Oh? Yeah that makes sense. My sister loves that kind of stuff. Are they... A good person?"

"I-I'd like to think so." He nodded quickly. "Are you not.. Like, a fan of content creators? Like.. Uh.. Dream or (P/F/C)?" (Past favourite creator)

"Well... I mean I used to really like (p/f/c) when I was younger. But it kind of... Saddened me, you know?"

He looked at you again and tilted his head a bit, "Saddened you? Did they do something bad?"

"No no! It's just... I try to avoid joining fandoms, even if they make me really happy while in them despite the toxicity. I really enjoy the people who create content, and I like watching them have fun... It's just.." Were you really gonna spill some personal stuff to some stranger who showed you the slightest bit of kindness? Not originally. But he kept watching you, patiently waiting for you to continue the sentence. "They'll... Never know.. How much they saved me."

"Oh.. I see. Yeah.. I've had that happen a lot. When, I watch this guy's streams," He pulled at his mask for a moment, "People always donate money and tell him how much they appreciate him for getting them through rocky times.. It's heartwarming to say the least but he does sound genuinely thankful."

"Oh that's sweet.. What does he do? Or what's he like?" You asked with a smile, although he couldn't see it, as you crouched down to get something from the sheleves. "Unless you have places to be of course!"

He looked a little surprised at first, "Ah... I got time. It's just.. Kinda nice being able to talk to people again after quarantine..." He trailed off briefly before taking something off the shelf as well and putting it in his basket, "Uh.. The streamer is a popular minecraft player. He recently hit a record during a stream and everyone lost their minds. He's a little painfully awkward at some points but he enjoys playing the games and interacting with his chat."

"Oh he sounds nice! I would definitely want to friends with someone like him!" You chuckled softly before frowning and glancing away. "Oh.. Popular.. So I'd be another comment in the flood of a chat.. Damn. I got a little excited. Oh! My bad, I'm (Y/n). Nice to meet you!" You laughed softly in an attempt to brush off the sad atmosphere you made.

"(R/r/n). But everyone just calls me Ranboo. Nice to meet you too." He sounded as if he was smiling but there was a soft sadness in his tone. "Do you not like popular streamers then?"

"No, it's just... that I had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped me through life, or shaped my personality.. Or saved me.. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it.. I suppose it just left me feeling a bit hopeless and like a broken record of every other fan of theirs. So, I just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show appreciation.. But I never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'.."

Ranboo seemed slightly more upset and he shifted his basket into his other hand, "I don't think it's like that at all.. I believe that streamers and creators truly cherish anyone who even interacts with their videos, and even though they know there's some people in the world who can't say anything or buy their merchandise, the creators still know that they're there. They appreciate everyone who comes along their path, whether they support them by giving them money, criticism or their attention!"

You blinked at how... Passionate your new friend was about this topic before smiling softly. "I guess... It never passed my mind.. Thank you Ranboo.. Hey, you wanna be friends and get to know each other more?"

His expression was unreadable due to the fabric covering his mouth and nose, and the glasses covering his eyes. "Oh! Sure!" He sounded quite happy, so you were guessing that you weren't being too awkward. "Here's my number, as long as you promise to never give it to anyone. Even if someone wants to get to know me, okay?"

You took out your phone and looked at him with a strange expression, but quickly nodded. 'Maybe he is just really strict about his privacy.' Once he gave you the number, you sent a quick text to him to give him your contact in return. "Great! It was wonderful meeting you, I hope we can hang out more often! After.. covid of course."

Eagerly nodding, Ranboo finished writing your contact into his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. "Oh yeah definitely! I'll see you soon, (Y/n)!"

Parting your separate ways, you looked down at the newly added contact, 🤍Ranboo🖤 (Platonic hearts), with a smile.

Maybe small actions weren't as useless as you thought...

[justbeingnamaste]

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Today, physician and U.S. Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) blasted YouTube for continuing to censor his content. Last week, after calling out YouTube for removing a video he posted in which he discussed the efficacy of masks with a journalist, Dr. Paul recorded a video message slamming the tech giant for censorship and noting that moving forward he would be posting his videos to Rumble.com as well, where they don’t censor the news. You can view the press release HERE. In a continuation of their commitment to act in lockstep with the government, YouTube removed that video too, claiming it contradicted the government’s official position. You can still watch the banned video HERE on Rumble. 

Not only did YouTube/Google remove the video, but they also suspended Dr. Paul’s ability to upload videos to his official senate YouTube account for seven days, which is a huge disservice to the thousands of Kentuckians who visit his page for regular updates on the work he does for Kentucky in the Senate.   “I think this kind of censorship is very dangerous, incredibly anti-free speech, and truly anti-progress of science, which involves skepticism and argumentation to arrive at the truth,” said Dr. Paul. “As a libertarian leaning Senator, I think private companies have the right to ban me if they want to, so in this case I’ll just channel that frustration into ensuring the public knows YouTube is acting as an arm of government and censoring their users for contradicting the government.”   BACKGROUND:

For your reference, here is a rough transcript of the video that YouTube banned, where Dr. Paul cited two peer-reviewed studies on the efficacy of cloth masks:   Recently I shared a video on my YouTube page. It was an interview between myself and a journalist where we discussed a variety of topics, including the science behind masks.   Apparently because I dared to contradict Dr. Fauci and the government, YouTube has removed my video. If you want to see the video its up on Rumble.com. Rumble.com does not censor the news.   YouTube said the video violated their policy because of my comments on masks, and that they don’t allow videos that contradict government’s guidance on COVID.   YouTube may be a private entity, but they’re acting like an arm of government, censoring those who present an alternative view to the science deniers in Washington… people like Dr. Fauci who have lied to the American people time and again about masks.   Here’s the thing, what I said in that video is the actual science. Most of the masks you get over the counter don’t work. They don’t prevent infection.   Saying cloth masks work, when they don’t, actually risks lives, as someone may choose to care for a loved one with COVID while only wearing a cloth mask. This is not only bad advice, but also potentially deadly misinformation.   What I said in the interview that YouTube censored is the truth. It’s fact.   If you want to hear exactly what I said, go ahead and check out the video on my Rumble channel. The channel’s name is Rand Paul.   Here’s some of the science for the YouTube science deniers…   A Danish study of 6000 participants found that wearing a surgical mask did not significantly reduce a person's risk of COVID-19 infection, compared to the risks facing those who did not wear masks.    And a Vietnamese study of 1600 participants found that cloth masks allow for 97% penetration of particles. This study also found that cloth mask wearers had a higher rate of infection than the control group who wore no masks.   Now, when it comes to N-95 masks, I have always said that those do work. Dr. Fauci knew that too, which is why he originally lied to the public and said masks don’t work. He feared not having enough for health care workers.   He justified his lies by explaining that he was trying to shape human behavior. Like so many ‘Fauci-isms,’ he lies to us for our own good, or so he believes.   Ask any doctor or nurse, what mask do they wear into a COVID patient’s room? Only an N-95 because the other masks don’t work.   Trying to shape human behavior isn’t the same as following the actual science which tells us that cloth masks don’t work.   Censorship by YouTube is very dangerous as it stifles debate and promotes groupthink where the “truth” is defined by people with a political agenda.   If you want unfiltered news go to Rumble.com.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Understanding the aftermath of r/wallstreetbets

A couple days back, I wrote up my best understanding of what happened with /r/wallstreetbets and meme stocks like Gamestop, trying to show how all the different, seemingly contradictory takes on the underlying financial stuff could all be true.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/28/payment-for-order-flow/#wallstreetbets

In the days since, a new series of contradictory takes has emerged, these ones disputing the meaning of this bizarre financial spectacle, and likewise what response, if any is warranted as it unfurls.

I think that all of these takes can also be true, and as with the trading itself, reconciling them requires that we widen the frame.

Let's start with Jimmy Carter.

In 1978, Carter's IRS created the 401(k), a tax-sheltered account for people who wanted to gamble on stocks to fund their retirement.

That was a fringe proposition at best.

The normal retirement system was a "defined benefits" pension where your employer guaranteed you a certain monthly percentage of your salary from retirement to death.

The vast majority of Americans wisely prefered a guaranteed payout to a tax-advantaged gambling account.

Obviously, right? On the one hand, you have the guarantee of a pension (maybe even inflation-indexed); on the other, you have a bunch of bets, that, if they go wrong, leave you literally homeless and starving.

When gamblers remortgage the family home and cash in the kids' college funds to play the tables, we consider them to have a mental illness, a pathological condition that harms them and the people around them.

Giving up a defined benefits pension in favor of a 401k is just the same kind of bet - staking all the money that will support you when you exit the workforce on the movement of stocks and bonds.

Who would do that voluntarily?

Pretty much no one. But the transition from defined benefits to 401k was not voluntary. Finance ghouls like Ethan Lipsig wrote memos to major employers like Hughes Aircraft showing them how they could ditch their pension obligations by moving workers to 401ks.

In the 80s, Reagan created a bunch of legal tools that allowed employers to coerce their workforces into giving up the security of a pension and force them into gambling their salaries on the prayer of a win in the markets.

This was insanely, amazingly great for the finance sector, in three ways:

1. It made companies more profitable. Guaranteeing that the workers whose labor made your company viable wouldn't spend their dotage starving and homeless is expensive.

Helping fund wagers on shares is much cheaper. The finance sector represented the major shareholders of the companies that transitioned to 401ks. The savings were transferred to these shareholders and the finance sector got commissions.

What's more, this temporary inflation of share prices disguised what was going on with the pension switcheroo: workers' defined benefits pensions were liquidated and turned into stocks, just as stocks were going up because their pensions had been liquidated!

Their legs had been amputated out from under them, but so subtly that they didn't yet feel the pain - and now their bosses cooked their legs and snuck them into their dinner, and everyone marveled at how full they felt after that hearty, meaty meal.

2. 401ks brought a lot of suckers to the table. The market was - and is - dominated by "sophisticated investors," AKA predators, who knew all the ways to fleece the rubes who had no idea how any of this worked.

The predatory nature of finance only increased over time. Hedge funds, for example, exist to find unethical practices that are legal (thanks to loopholes in the rules) and exploit them until they are illegal.

3. 401ks created a political force outside the finance sector that would lobby on its behalf. Transforming America into a nation of stockholders meant that workers had to choose between supporting rules that protected their jobs and rules that protected their retirement.

For your pension account to grow, you had to support policies that permitted finance ghouls to offshore your job, or misclassify you as a contractor, or eliminate the safety rules that prevented you from being maimed, or take away your right to sue for compensation.

Every time there's a particularly ghastly bankruptcy driven by PE or hedge funds - Toys R Us, Sears, etc - it emerges that at least some of that money is coming out of a union pension fund.

That's marketization - turning the once obscure, boring business of market-based capital allocation into a matter of import to everyday people.

Marketization begat financialization.

While marketization is primarily about capital allocation (who gets what money), financialization is about bets. Sometimes those bets are about things - businesses, houses, coal and timber - but things are limited. Mostly the financial market consists of bets on other bets.

Bets are infinite. Every time you make a bet, you create inventory for a market in a bet on the outcome of your bet. And that's inventory for a new market: bets on the outcomes of bets on the outcomes of bets.

It's called Wall Street Bets for a reason.

Bets need referees, someone who decides who the winner is. In sports, it's a major scandal if a referee is caught wagering on one of the teams in a match. In the financial markets, it's the norm - referees that lay wagers on the outcome of the contest they're overseeing.

Let's take stock:

Workers are forced to play the casino, and if their bets fail, they spend their old ages homeless and starving;

The vast majority of casino games are wholly abstract - bets on bets on bets - and require layers of refs;

the refs are all crooked.

Every couple of years, we have a massive, systemic financial crisis, and every time that happens, the finance sector lobbies for a no-strings-attached bailout, abetted by suckers who hate the finance sector but fear starving in their old age.

We're about to be engulfed in the second-largest crisis of our lifetime - the reckoning from trillions in capital market gains propped up by the Trump administration's policy of buying all corporate debt as a covid stimulus.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/28/cyberwar-tactics/#aligned-incentives

(the largest crisis of our lifetimes is a few years off, as the climate emergency piles losses on losses, stranding tens of trillions in assets, from fossil fuels to obsolete gas-stations to literally underwater coastal real-estate to whole towns incinerated by wildfires)

That's where we're at: a crooked casino that we've trusted our futures too, a crisis on the horizon, and a bunch meme-stock "players" who have thrown the normal weirdness of the market into stark relief through a spectacular stunt.

A lot of people are angry at Robinhood, the stock-trading platform at the center of all this. Robinhood froze trading on meme stocks, and has only allowed it to come back in a useless, performative trickle that is seemingly calculated to prevent more meme-stock gamesmanship.

Is Robinhood just another crooked ref? Yes…and no. The meme stock run upset the stable cheaters' equilibrium whereby cheating never escalated to the point where the game just collapsed.

For example, the total short position on Gamestop exceeds its total stock issuance.

Translation: there were more Gamestop shares promised between bettors than exist. When the game stops, all those promises come due, and they literally can't be paid off because there aren't enough tokens in circulation to settle all the debts.

Robinhood halted trading in part because the big fish upstream of Robinhood also halted trading, because they have even more at risk than Robinhood does if the game collapses - they the refs for MANY players, all the same size as Robinhood or larger.

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2021-01-29/reddit-traders-on-robinhood-are-on-both-sides-of-gamestop

But remember, the refs are cheating. And they are both downstream and upstream from other games in which the refs are also cheating.

And the games, as a whole, encompass our economy, including the solvency of the "real economy" (the people who make masks, deliver groceries and drive ambulances), and whether you spend your old age homeless and starving.

So the people who say, "Don't blame Robinhood, they didn't halt trading to help billionaires, they halted trading to prevent the game from collapsing are right."

But they're not the only ones who are right.

Also, there's the people who say that meme stocks aren't making money for little guys at the expense of the big guys. They're right too.

First, because these stocks will all need to be converted to cash, and that means selling them.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2021/01/the-gamestop-bubble-is-going-to-hurt-a-lot-of-ordinary-investors/

When the selloff starts, the price will plunge, because even if the stock was undervalued before, it's certainly overvalued now. Every bubble produces wealth for its early bettors who sell out to later players who lose everything when they can't find a sucker later on.

From Beanie Babies to subprime, bubbles burst and leave suckers holding the bag. If you just heard about meme stocks last week, you're too late to make money off of them.

There's another version of the "this isn't little guys, it's big whales" that's *also* true: the main beneficiary of the meme stock runs is giant funds who magnified and the bets from r/wallstreetbets and got out smart and fast.

https://twitter.com/zatapatique/status/1354904995901136896

So given all this, what can we make of calls (from parties as varied as AOC and Ted Cruz) to investigate Robinhood and other retail brokerages to see whether they're honest refs, or in the tank for billionaires?

At Naked Capitalism, Yves Smith calls this a "fatuous uproar," saying that the Senate has more important things to do during the racing-out-of-control pandemic than to investigate a literal penny-ante grift.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2021/01/the-fatuous-uproar-about-robinhood-and-gamestop.html

Do we really care who the winner is in "a beauty contest between Cinderella’s ugly sisters" ("clueless new gen day traders versus clumsy shorts")?

Smith is right too.

A speculator-v-speculator contest that falls apart when the crooked ref halts play to prevent collapse - who cares who "wins?"

But here's how they can all be right - the "who cares" and the "goliath v goliath" and the "bubble" and the "Robinhood is a plutes' honeypot."

*If* there's hearings, and *if* those hearings expose the absurdity and corruption of the system, *then* there is a chance to build the political will to make real, systemic changes when the crisis comes.

And there's a real crisis coming: two, in fact. The covid junk bond financial crisis, which is due very soon, and the climate crisis stranded asset emergencies, which will unroll with increased tempo and intensity for decades to come.

The half-century cycle of "addressing" finance crises by increasing financialization MUST stop.

If the meme stock spectacle gets us to pay attention to hearings that reveal the irredeemable rot of the system, then it's a unique chance to spread *real* "financial literacy."

And that literacy is the necessary (but insufficient) precursor to taking action when the time comes - and the time is certainly coming soon.

[fyeah-bangtan7]

BTS' V on His Upcoming Mixtape, His Love of 'The Godfather,' and Being a 'Secret Member'

"When they said I was a hidden member, I actually thought I'd been cut from the team," V says

From the start, singer-songwriter-producer V was BTS’ secret weapon. His rich, deep voice is a pleasing contrast to his fellow singers’ ever-higher high notes, and he’s not afraid to delve into full-on bedroom R&B, as on the downright sultry neo-soul track “Intro: Singularity.” With a love of jazz and classical music, V began his musical life as a saxophone player, and has the most eclectic list of influences of any member of BTS, from Sammy Davis Jr. to Sam Cooke to Coldplay (BTS’ recent cover of “Fix You” was apparently his idea). Wearing a black newsboy-style hat, a zipped-up black parka, and a white mask in his label’s headquarters one morning in April, he sipped orange juice and talked about his upcoming mixtape, his Elvis Presley fandom, his favorite movies, and more.

I know yesterday you did a variety show for the first time in a long time. How was that? It was our first appearance in five years. So I was really nervous and I was really tense. So I didn’t get a lot of sleep. But then actually when we showed up yesterday for the actual shoot, the host of the program was really kind and really accommodating. So everything went really well. I felt really comfortable. And then this morning, because of our interview, I also didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.

I’m sorry about that! [Laughs] No, no, no, no, no.

I know you had been working very hard on your mixtape, and it’s been delayed, and I think you feel a lot of pressure to make it right. How’s it going now? We’ve worked and made music as a group, and as a group only. So working on my own tape means that I have to do everything related to all the songs on the album. I have to take part in writing the lyrics and the melodies for all the songs and the production process. So, it is a bit of a pressure to bear all of the load that is distributed among the other members for a group album. So it is tough. But what is good about it is it gives me an opportunity to show who I am, and show the music that really has the color of Kim Taehyung, the color of V, to our ARMY. So that’s great opportunity of course, and that’s what makes creating this mixtape so much fun and fulfilling.

So, what is your current prediction for when you will put it out? I originally thought of releasing it last year. But it turned out to be more harder and more complex than I imagined that it would be. So then I thought I would release it early this year. But again, it turned out to be a bit more tough than I thought it would be! So now I’m looking at the end of this year.

You already had the solo song “Sweet Night,” from a TV soundtrack. What did you take away from the experience of making that? That was released as part of a soundtrack for someone I knew really well [actor and former cast-mate Park Seo-joon]. but it was actually originally made as part of my mixtape. It’s one of my personal songs. That song started out from me feeling that I really wanted a good night’s sleep.

“Blue and Gray” is a gorgeous song. You said you wrote it about a time when work was really hard for you and you weren’t happy. What was it about the work that was hard? That was when the Covid pandemic was just really expanding and becoming serious. We had prepared really hard to show ARMY our “On” performances. And what I was finding difficult at the time was not being able to show what we practiced and prepared so hard. I was telling all ARMY on social media, “Get ready, we’re about to show you these great performances!” So that was really frustrating and difficult and it made me sad. I think there was a measure of being tired and really sort of burned out a little bit from the work as well.

Were there any good points of this year off the road? It allowed me to really focus on something. Pre-Covid, I was so busy that I couldn’t really concentrate on one thing or really focus on something new. If I wanted to do a new thing, I was really forced to sort of be a dilettante. I couldn’t dive deep. But during the last year I had more time. In my work, I really tried to do more producing and then go more in-depth on my music. My melodies before were not that complex, or intricate, I thought. But I was able to focus more energy into it, to listen to more music, and really sort of think about more things. And that, I think, helped me to really dive into the producing aspect of making music. And I had a lot of time to come up with good melodies, and also had a lot of time to just sort of sit and vegetate. [Laughs] And that also helped me.

I know that you like many different kinds of music. Tell me about some of your musical heroes. My musical heroes are constantly changing by the hour almost. So yesterday, you know, it was Elvis Presley. And today might be somebody else. This is sort of my personal preference, but I think I like the older Elvis Presley, the Elvis Presley of his later years. There are many famous Elvis songs, but I feel like there’s a lot of songs that are more hidden, and not as prominent in the song discography. So, what I’m trying to do, and what I want to do, is listen to every single song, even if it’s just one minute of the song. Both the big songs and even the songs that are sort of hidden among the tracks.

There’s some great 1950s ones as well, but you’re right, late-period songs like “Kentucky Rain” and “Suspicious Minds” are some of his best. If you can recommend some must-listen Elvis Presley songs, I’ll listen to them!

I’ll get a playlist to you. So what was it like to be a “secret member” before BTS’ debut? To be perfectly, perfectly honest, when they said I was a hidden member, I actually thought I’d been cut from the team.

So can you laugh about that now or is it still a little bit traumatic? I can laugh about it now for sure. As long as I can sort of toss around our CEO, our label’s boss, and shake him around a little bit by his cuffs. But yes, I can laugh about it.

I’ve heard you like old movies. What are some of your favorites? I like old movies, but also movies that are classics but not super old. Like for example, The Godfather was a movie that I really enjoyed. And Reservoir Dogs is one of my all-time favorite movies. The Godfather I actually watched recently. A friend of mine had told me, “It’s really long, I fell asleep in the middle of it.” And I thought, “Is it that boring?” And then I watched it and I was really moved by it, especially the charisma of the godfather [Marlon Brando], and all the actors and the direction and the production. And again, his charisma, and his commanding presence during the film.

You did some acting of your own in the TV drama Hwarang. Do you want to do more of that going forward? It’s something that I’m thinking about after I turn 30.

© source

[axvoter]

Blatantly Partisan Party Review XXXVIII (federal 2022): Reignite Democracy Australia

Running where: Group R for the Senate in Victoria, and numerous sympathetic candidates in all states and territories—see below for list of indies

Prior reviews:  None, this is a new party

It’s never a good start when you need a prominent page on your website to beg your supporters not to break electoral law. Reignite Democracy Australia (RDA) failed to understand laws around electoral ad authorisation, got in trouble, and now they have a page urging followers to display an authorisation on all ads. It’s one of the first things you see when you visit the site of the organisation created by anti-vax agitator Monica Smit, who has been charged with incitement over Melbourne lockdown protests last year. Smit has led and spoken at plenty of so-called “freedom” rallies and hung out with Craig Kelly, so you can pretty safely assume her views and character. There are even more unsavoury individuals who’ve been involved with RDA.

RDA sought to register as a political party last year. This turned into a farcical process where they seem to have basically just ghosted the AEC. You can read the AEC’s rejection of their application here. Since then, they proclaimed they would join the United Australia Party, and then walked it back, deciding in February 2022 to be “non-partisan”. Smit is now quite mad at the UAP because some of its how-to-vote cards place the Liberals above other “freedom parties” (aka total cookers) like the Australian Federation Party, Informed Medical Options, or the Great Australian Party. Smit and her partner Morgan Jonas are standing as grouped independents for the Senate in Victoria (Group R), and the RDA now lists a range of ideologically-friendly people on its website—more on that below.

First, you might want to know about RDA’s platform. They pull the usual trick of racist anti-vaxxer groups, claiming to be neither. The second question in their FAQ asks “Is RDA a right-wing, racist, anti-Semitic or white supremacist organisation?” As I’ve said before, if you have to answer such questions prominently, it suggests you are either very bad at communication or the accusation is true. And RDA really are not that bad at communication: they deliberately choose to emphasise “liberty” and “choice” to appear more moderate than conspiracy theorists and have won a large following.

Of course, once you dig into this group and who they associate with, you realise this is just another anti-vax, anti-lockdown, anti-mask, anti-any-public-health-measure-that-might-slightly-inconvenience-me group. They’re the types who’ve disingenuously appropriated “my body, my choice” from women’s rights campaigners to encourage vaccine hesitancy. Their website has pages on how to wiggle out of public health laws and a “save our kids” initiative intended to sow distrust in vaccination for children—grossly irresponsible stuff at the best of times. There is also a business directory so you can patronise all the companies that don’t mind if you get covid. As this Crikey article sets out, RDA has claimed all sorts of things from calling contact tracing unconstitutional through to calling for chief health officers to be tried for crimes against humanity. As is all this isn't bad enough, Smit is virulently transphobic and thinks sex education about diverse gender and sexual identities is "perverted".

The website contains a Candidate Search feature that lists sympathetic candidates. Most are from “freedom” parties with very fringe views about public health, often peddling conspiracy theories and sometimes indulging in violent rhetoric. If you’ve been paying close attention to far-right cookers then you will recognise names. I was surprised to find Gilbert Wilson, Labor candidate in the Division of Wannon (RDA has targeted Daniel Andrews with extreme vitriol!), although he just spruiks the Labor party platform. Likewise, I was not expecting a Fusion Party candidate to crop up on such an anti-science site, but their candidate for the Division of Dobell, Geoff Barnes, is there. He too largely spruiks his party’s policies but his opening about how “obfuscation, misinformation and hidden agendas masquerade as news” will no doubt appeal to the more conspiracist types at RDA.

To have a profile a candidate has to respond to a questionnaire, which asks whether they will support permanent(!) removal of all pandemic powers, restrict the WHO’s influence, and investigate and repeal/replace the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation the Agency and Australian Medical Association. The questionnaire asks after a Bill of Rights and digital privacy, which aligns with the goals of more reasonable groups but you can safely surmise some of these candidates don’t support this for the finest reasons, and there is also a protectionist “revive Australian manufacturing” question.

The following independents feature on Reignite Democracy Australia’s Candidate Search. The extent to which they sympathise with the RDA’s dangerous agenda varies—Joanne Pearce in Lyne seems particularly confused by some of the questions and I’m not sure why she went ahead with submitting this. But being on here is concerning enough and most spout some pretty extreme or unhinged stuff. In brackets is the electorate for House of Representatives candidates:

NSW:

Senate: Julie Collins (ungrouped independent); William Laing (ungrouped independent) [links go to b_auspol’s NSW Senate profiles]

House of Representatives: Greg Butler (Eden-Monaro); Nina Digiglio (Gilmore); Stuart Bonds (Hunter); Joanne Pearce (Lyne); Matthew Sharpham (New England); Basil Paynter (Shortland)

QLD:

Senate: Len Harris and Debra Yuille (Group A), Steve Dickson and Rebecca Lloyd (Group H), Peter Rogers (ungrouped independent)

House of Australia: Alan Buchbach (Dickson), Thor Prohaska (Dickson), Sinim Australie (Fairfax), Barry Smith (Fairfax), Kelli Jacobi (Wide Bay)

SA:

Senate: Bob Day (Group E)

House of Representatives: Maddy Fry (Barker),* Vince Pannell (Barker)*

TAS:

Senate: Fenella Edwards (ungrouped independent)

VIC:

Senate: Monica Smit and Morgan Jonas (Group R)

House of Representatives: Steven J. Lončar (Gorton). Domonique Murphy (Chisholm),* Scott Robson (Melbourne)

WA:

Senate: Ziggi Marley (ungrouped independent),** Yunous Vagh (ungrouped independent)**

House of Representatives: David Archibald (Curtin)

*these candidates are affiliated with the unregistered party Australia One, who I have reviewed here

**these candidates feature in my review of WA ungrouped independents

My recommendation: In the Senate, give Group R (Victoria) and other independents sympathetic to Reignite Democracy a weak or no preference. In the House of Representatives, where you must distribute full preferences, give independents sympathetic to Reignite Democracy Australia a weak preference.

Website: https://www.reignitedemocracyaustralia.com.au/