#[ just a reminder i'm mostly on tj right now! ]

[house-in-the-cerulean-sea]

Anyway, here's what you should check out if you liked In the Lives of Puppets:

Qualityland and Qualityland 2.0 by Mark Uwe kling, although I'm not sure the second part exists in English yet. It has a similar premise as itlop it's basically a critique on capitalism and what the world would be like if we continued the trend of like algorithm advertising and same day delivery and AI the way we do right now. Don't worry tho, it's very funny and there is a group of found family misfits that will remind you of the forest family. Also and this also counts for the next one on this list, the main character just like Victor isn't your typical chosen one or anything, he just wants to live his life and "protect his small corner of the world" which is also what Tj Klune said about Victors character motivation (did you know i met TJ KLUNE last Friday? Because i did! And it was amazing.)

The hail Mary project by Andy Weir, which also kind of fits into the genre of dystopia science fiction but mostly the MC is literally just a guy. In the lives made you reflect on humanity? This will fuck with your head

The brave little toaster, just kidding don't, that movie traumatized me and my best friend TJ and also was inspiration for Puppets, which tj told me personally because we met, in person

His other books??? Are you kidding me? Don't tell me you haven't read the house in the Cerulean sea

[heavensbeehall]

"The Hunger Games", Chapter 27

Buy the book here.

Part 3: The Victor

Chapter 27. Caesar Flickerman hosts a program where they rewatch the Games. President Snow doesn't like Katniss. Katniss realizes she's being watched. Another interview. Haymitch is relieved. Then they leave. ... and Peeta finds out the truth as they return to District 12.

End of book one!

Thoughts:

-- Katniss thinks, "I hear Caesar Flickerman greeting the audience. Does he know how crucial it is to get every word right from now on? He must. He will want to help us." Do we think Caesar Flickerman wants to help them or is he a Capitol shill? The movies definitely make him out to be on Snow's side but Katniss usually has good instincts about people she likes (she is overly suspicious actually so it's odd she isn't of him).

-- Ugh three hours of mandatory viewing one night and then another interview the next. And I thought reality shows in our world dragged things out. If you have ever watched Squid Game: the Challenge and you shouldn't because it's one step closer to the Hunger Games in real life, they put in so much dramatic music and long pauses just to roll dice or something.

Quotes:

Haymitch’s appearance brings a round of stomping that goes on at least five minutes. Well, he’s accomplished a first. Keeping not only one but two tributes alive.

Haymitch has to be on the greatest mentors right? I'm sure the Capitol bookies have stats and stuff like we do for sports, and on paper he probably looks bad because he lost so many before. But getting two out?

Now I see what the audience saw, how he misled the Careers about me, stayed awake the entire night under the tracker jacker tree, fought Cato to let me escape and even while he lay in that mud bank, whispered my name in his sleep.

I just wish we got to see some of this in the movie because it does cut from outside Katniss' point of view at times (mostly for Seneca Crance and Snow). Maybe I am just being overly sensitive to people who are down on Peeta's abilities. He fought Cato and lived though! That's not nothing even they were high on TJ venom.

I don't love the phrase "tracker jacker" as much as I love "nightlock." It sounds kind of juvenile to me. [Here you should yell at me that they are kids' books.]

That’s when I know that even though both of us would have eaten the berries, I am to blame for having the idea. I’m the instigator. I’m the one to be punished.

Snow hates Katniss but seems to like Peeta. ... Or tolerate Peeta. I don't know if he likes anyone. Do we think he sees himself in Peeta? A sweet blonde boy being manipulated by this treacherous girl?

Peeta's actions don't remind me of Snow though. He reminds me of Jessup, protecting his fellow tribute, getting sick because of it, needing her in his agony. Except Jessup dies and Katniss finds a way to save Peeta. (Do I ship Lucy Gray and Jessup? Damnit, self.)

[ru5t]

hi i got reminded of a thing and this is technically an unfinished image i'm not sure i like anymore and not the thing i thought i was gonna talk about today (but that's unfinished as well--) but yes hello let's talk about:

Tech + Her Name

so one of the Things™ about Tech is that I've had her for more than a decade, and so she's gone through a lot of growth and changes over the years, been tweaked a bunch and soft rebooted a couple of times. and her deal now is that almost all of that exists in her a little bit, even if some of it isn't 'canon' anymore, and some of it reflects in these sort of "phases" she has in her overall backstory. these work out into general time frames, and at some point i started shorthand referencing them differently based on her various go-to behaviors and beliefs at the time. this got really confusing really fast! an then i remembered she has approximately a trillion nicknames, and lightning struck

boom, bam, quick and easy labels from her most common nicknames/forms of address at the time of each "phase" ; worth noting she was "Techno Havoc" for most of these, and wouldn't have introduced herself any differently, the nicknames were just what people leaned toward and/or picked up from others

these phases also tie into the [Hair Dye Post], because I am Unwell

Maddy — in the city, pre-escape edition, and there's not a whole lot to say about it; she was also occasionally Mads and, as her father was "Lt. Magson" and Jack was just "Magson", she was "Mags" to differentiate and as a diminutive; sometimes, more rarely, "Mini Magson" in the same spirit (mostly from her father's coworkers)

Magpie — the short form of her first moniker, "Miss Magpie", given to her by TJ when she was living at the Wind Stop, and though it was more of a teasing title it served as her name for her first year, give or take, in the desert; this was also when she was introduced to colorful dyes, and she picked the green but didn't want it all over, so someone (maybe not TJ he's Old) helped her work out the way for getting it to process right on her hair into those soon-to-be signature green stripes

Havoc — reunited with her brother, they get a little base going (picking up Lith & Tox, Red & the Weasel, and Dusty along the way, in that order) and she got a little unruly, a lot loud - a Rebellious Phase™, if you will, in which she made hobbies out of fucking around with Better Living systems, arguing with friends & foes, and generally being a massive teenagery pain in the ass, hence Havoc; somewhere in these couple of years, the pink came about from a desire to do something a shade dramatic and encouragement from friends, to match the fierce edge she'd put on, bright and aggressive

Techie — although a nickname she'd always had since become Techno Havoc, 'Techie' become more prominent after another couple years gone, and she'd mellowed out a little bit, becoming more sure of herself vs. the things that were her defensive mechanisms, stopped fighting with so many of her friends, started forging better connections, being more honest and in general just hitting a good growth stride - even making an impression with the fab four (some more than others🙈); she stopped keeping up with the color, letting it fade out into a much lighter pink, and she was considering just letting it grow out entirely ...

Magson — and then she got bagged and re-educated. she got to keep her name, but almost nothing else.

Tech(?) — back in the zones, she got knocked on the noggin and had vague shadowy memories and duplicate memeories and horrible headaches and mood swings and also a concussion (and okay maybe it wasn't the most common but soooo many people went "...Tech?" like they weren't sure it was her. she wasn't either.); chasing the fragments, she got her hands on that very same shade of green she picked the first time she got out into the desert, and in a dye job focused more on getting rid of BLI's fingerprints than anything else, she didn't go through all the steps and ended up at what a friend of mine (Lith's writer) started calling "swamp monster green"

Sparky — after a year of nonexistence, and then a year of hell, she finally starts to feel more like a person, get her feet underneath her reestablishing herself in digital spaces and robotic/computer engineering circles, get things get more pieced together to know that she had connections and that they're out there to be called on; the pink here was a choice on the basis of that it felt more right than the swamp monster green, or growing it out to her natural color, and though it wasn't where she settled it was definitely an improvement; towards the end of this 'phase' she sought out Jack at the Haven

_______ — Tech, Techie, Havoc, Sparky, Spitfire, The Ghost Girl; take your pick, all of the above and more, she's got what she needs figured out (even if there are some days where it's harder to keep it pinned in place the way it ought to be) and gone on to get bold, now not only up to her usual tricks on the waves but actively inciting unrest in the neon slums and smuggling goods both ways across the wall; the orange!! it's just right, for whatever reason that may be, and though she keeps away from her natural hair growing too far out for its own variety of reasons, having a bit of it peeking through also feels right + of course the return of her beloved green stripe. it's a lot but that's just the way it is.

[colestis]

When The Clock Strikes 12:00

Cyrus POV

It's New Year's Eve, and I'm sitting in a corner watching all of the Good Hair Crew and their boyfriends/girlfriends mingle with each other. I'm the only one who has no one to kiss tonight. I'm the only one who is alone tonight. I'm the only one watching longingly at every couple in the room wanting what they have.

A love life that isn't a hopeless crush.

Andi thought it would be a good idea to hold something for New Year's Eve, so she piled Herself, Jonah, Amber, Marty, and Buffy into her living room, her coffee table full of snacks, the TV on with a live countdown from New York. Buffy and Marty are cuddled up together on the end of one couch, Andi and Amber are sharing a recliner, and Jonah and Walker are sharing the other end of the couch that Buffy and Marty on. I'm watching from afar on a smaller couch, and I don't think anyone realized I'd be 7th wheeling.

This sucks.

Everyone is in their own world, and all I can do is watch the count down to the ball drop — or whatever they're doing this year. Twinkling lights, people dancing, and some pop singer performing their hits is projected onto the screen. The glow of the TV is the only light in the room, illuminating onto the three couples around me flirting, kissing, or having a friendly banter that ends in a make-out session that really should be moved to a different room than this one because I've learned from last time with Walker and Jonah.

Both of them have bonners in front of Tj and I and Tj had to cough for them to separate and look down to see the obvious bulge in both of their pants. It ended in a fit full of laughs and they tucked it until they left. God only knows what they were doing after they left, and I don't want to know. To be honest, I kind of wish that Tj was here right now. He is the only other person in our friend group that is single. I would do anything to desperately call him to come over right now so I would have someone to talk to, but he might have something going on with his family and I don't want to intrude.

The funny thing is that everyone jokes that Tj and I are practically a couple in itself. They probably tease him about it when I'm not around. The sad part is that I can't help but think that what they're saying is basically true. Ever since costume day, we had started to blur the line between 'friends' and 'boyfriends'. Longing looks, soft touches, and brushing hands had all lead us up to where we are now. We've held hands, we've cuddled several times. Fuck he's kissed me on the cheek before.

It makes me think that we are friends with benefits, but where fourteen and that term is mostly used for 'bro's helping out bro's'. Reminder: we're fourteen. It's obvious that he thinks something of me besides being friends. It makes me think that his face burning up and his flirting isn't just a part of my imagination. That may be — just maybe — he likes me back.

Maybe. Just maybe.

But there's suddenly a knock on the door, and I'm afraid that it's Cece coming back from her night out with Bex and Bowie. We might get caught, and my heart starts to race from the disappointed look I imagine Cece having on her wrinkled face when she sees that her granddaughter hosted something without her permission. Cece has improved — don't get me wrong. But she's still here, meaning that she's still scary. Still strict. Still Cece.

Buffy pulls away from Marty's lips as she untangles herself from his lap. She had a knowing smirk on her face, and it's pointed towards me. I look at her for a moment having no idea what's going on. She looks excited, not for her but for someone else. Her gaze is pointed towards me, and I take the hint that I'm that someone.

"Don't worry, I invited someone else. I wouldn't have invited Cyrus knowing that he would be the only one without a date. So I had the brilliant idea of inviting someone — or a date — for him." Her feet softly thud the wooden floor accompanied by a creek with each step. She gets closer to the door, and when she opens it a gust of wind is let into Andi's house, goosebumps finding their way to my skin.

Buffy talks to the person at the door, the smirk on her face only getting wider. Everyone is smiling so I can only guess that everyone knew about this but me. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's Tj at the door, and I'm correct when I see him walk into the house with a pillow in one hand, an overnight bag in the other. His hair is windswept with no gel, it flopping on the side of his forehead. His green eyes are twinkling, his smile only growing wider when he sees me (I don't notice this). He's in an ugly Christmas sweater with a pair of flannel pajama pants and slippers. To be fair — it is 8:00. I don't blame him for not coming in normal attire like the rest of us did when we arrived at 4:00.

I can't believe the fact that I survived 4 hours alone in a room with only couples.

"Hey Muffin!" He rushes towards me, plopping down next to me. By now everyone has gone back to their own world with their significant other, so it was basically just us two. Our shoulders are pressed together, my heart feels like it's about to beat out of my chest. I get it, I love him. But I don't want to pressure him to be anything else.

"Hey! You saved me! I don't think I know how much longer I could go watching all of them make out with each other. Walker and Jonah clearly didn't learn from last time either." Over time, I've felt discarded. Someone was dating someone and then they had a fight so I had to come in to comfort them. I don't feel like a friend. I don't feel like a person. Every day the same thing repeats in my head in the hope that it's right.

Everyone has someone.

Everyone has someone.

Everyone has—

It's torture. All of it is torture. I want it all to stop. I want it to be like we're in 8th grade again. When were pinning over hopeless crushes that won't work out, long sessions of milkshakes and baby taters at the spoon where we would annoyingly watch Andi whine about something in her life that always seems to be happening. Or we would all complain about Jonah.

That's the past though. No one has any time for me. No one but Tj. Why can't life be easy? Why can't he like me back? Why can't I get over that goddamn kiss on the cheek thinking he liked me back? This is too much. It's getting to be too much. Sitting next to him with my heart hammering is normal. Crying because I just want him an I to be happy is normal. Why can't it all be over?

Fuck normal.

"Wanna ditch this place?" And I'm accompanied by the idea of doing something fun or exciting. Sure, watching singers on TV is fun, but I wanna do something else. I can't agree with him more. This is getting really boring, and I want to do something else.

"Awww don't ditch us! Are we really that boring?" Amber says, and this is where I really want to leave. But then I feel Tj bring is lips toward my ear, and my heart somehow beats faster, blood rushing up to my cheeks. 'Sneak out at 11:45. Trust me' His voice is breathy, and my ear tingles. And I can't ignore the fact that this place is getting to be really boring, so I don't care if we leave. I'm up to an adventure.

And that's when I feel my head drop to Tj's shoulder, my eyes closing as I doze off to sleep.

~•~

When I wake up, I'm engulfed in warmth. My head is resting on Tj's shoulder, and his arm is wrapped around me. I want to open my eyes, but I feel safe. So I stay put, with a smile on my face. I nuzzle my head into his shoulder, and my hair grazes his neck. I kind of want to stay like this forever, with the TV playing in the background, and our friends doing I don't know what.

I open my eyes to see everyone staring at us though. Buffy and Marty seem to be bickering about something while looking at us, Andi and Amber gushing, and Jonah and Walker . . . doing Jonah and Walker things while staring at us. So I look at them back, trying to get them to go away. Before I can, Buffy starts laughing.

"This is adorable. Your both awake, but you're pretending you're still sleeping so you still have the excuse to cuddle without it being awkward, and you're both trying to get everyone to stop staring at you. Just so you can cuddle. Y'all are whipped." I disconnect from Tj to see his eyes wide in pure fear.

I can't do this anymore.

"I'm leaving. Andi, thank you for hosting but I'm out. It ha seven a very long night, and ai want it to be over." I get my coat, not bothering to grab my other stuff besides my shoes and phone. I know Andi will return them at some point. And that's when I'm rushing out the door, not knowing what to do. I just want fresh air. I don't want to be in a room where people are making out but you and your crush.

There's an adrenaline pumping through me. My eyes are watering from being upset. I can still imagine Tj's arm wrapped around my shoulders, his head rested on mine. Every moment we've spent together plays on a loop in my head, looking for something useful. Looking for a sign that he could like me back.

I find nothing.

I don't even notice my legs moving — practically running — until I hear someone shouting my name. I'm crying. I'm sobbing. I want help. I need help. I can't do anything about this. I just want him to be happy, and that means running away from it all. I have to get over it. I have to get over him.

"Cyrus please!" I feel Tj's hand wrap around my arm, and my legs come to a stop. Our eyes lock, and I realize that I'm not the only one crying. He's going through pain too, but I don't know why. Tears reach the brim of his eyes, and he finally snaps. One falls down his cheek, and then the next, and next.

"Why?" He croaks out, and my heart shatters. I'm out of breath from just running a random path, not knowing where I was going. I have a feeling that I was heading towards the swings — where I always go when something is wrong, but I start to think that's a bad idea. That place belongs to Tj and me.

"Tj just go. I can't do this anymore. I can't ignore my own emotions and let you be happy." I try to run again, I want to run again, but his grip on my arm gets tighter. He's not letting go of me any time soon. So I stay. "Why won't you let me go?" And then I'm yelling. And I feel horrible because I'm taking my anger out on him. "I can't ignore how I feel okay? I love you and I can't just can't do this. You deserve better! I want you to be happy! I'm just some dork who can't do anything and is ugly. I'm a mess okay?"

He looks like he had just seen a ghost. His eyes almost go grey and look just as broken as me when I'm saying those words. "Do you really think that's true?" It's just above a whisper. His voice is just above a whisper. "Cyrus your the most amazing person I've ever met. You can do so many things and your . . . your beautiful okay? I can't look away from you. And . . . while we were fighting at the swing set I wanted to kiss you. I really really just wanted to kiss away all the guilt and shame and all the stupid damage I had done. And then Kira happened and she got to me and I just can't."

Woah.

I don't think he's ever been so open.

From what I've observed, Tj isn't that good at talking about his emotions. He's sensitive too. But when you dig deep, you find out more, and you want to know more. Tj has changed my perspective on life, love, and basically the conversation on a lot of things. Every day when I came home after I hung out with Tj, my mom would always stop me and say you look confident or sure of yourself. Sometimes she would just say happy.

I didn't know why at the time. I thought it was all stupid. I thought I still liked Jonah, and that I was smiling about the time he touched my shoulder or our eyes locked for 0.2 seconds. I was wrong. I didn't find out why my heart was racing around Tj or why I thought his green orbs of eyes were beautiful until the gun. It looks like Tj has liked me from the start.

It's a relief.

I'm still crying though. I'm still upset for some reason. Maybe it's because I don't agree. Maybe it's because I don't think that I deserve him. He lets go of my arm.

"I'm not leaving you like this."

He holds his arms out, and I walk into them, my arms wrapping around his back, his arms wrapping around my neck. I let it all out. I let out all of the pain, all of the guilt, and all of the sorrow until there's nothing. Part of me thinks that Tj is crying too, for some reason. Part of me thinks that it might have been worse for him. We're broken, but maybe we can fix our broken pieces.

One at a time, right?

People start to come outside, and both of us get the message. But then people start to count down from 10, and we both know what's happening. It's that last seconds of 2019, of this decade. I want to end it right.

10

We separate, but I know that won't last long.

9

I look into his eyes, his stupidly beautiful eyes.

8

We hold our gaze, and I have no idea what's happening.

7

He starts to move closer.

6

I start to move closer.

5

I wrap my arms around his neck, getting on the tip of my toes.

4

He wraps his arms around my waist

3

Our noses touch, and we just stare

2

My thoughts catch up to my brain, and I start to think if this is a bad idea or not. This could be the worst, but my heart it's faster than my brain, and I don't pay attention.

"1"

We whisper, and then it happens like you would imagine it would. Our lips fit like two magnets, pulled together under Shadyside's firework display. Our bodies are pressed together, our hearts in sync as I feel his beat against my chest, and I play with his hair, it softly tangled in my fingers. It contains so much passion and love I might burst.

The fact that humans need air finally comes to both of us, and we separate. Our foreheads come together, and a few people clap and whistle from the porch we're in front of. I don't care though. I don't care that there of fireworks above us highlighting Tj's eyes and his complexion, I don't care that some people are banging pots and pans, or that kids are cheering in the background, still on their high of sugar and whining because they finally have to go to bed.

I guess all my questions were answered through that kiss. Because when the clock strikes 12:00, the best things happened.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi, Em! Hope you're doing great today. I've typed myself as ENFJ for some time now and I just wanted to get a check up and see if I should reconsider. I'm mostly just gonna tackle dom Fe ++ and do the rest on my own if needed. I think I'm an ENFJ because for one I'm very sensitive to the people in groups. I can't sit around a table eating dinner without paying attention to how everyone is acting ie how comfortable they look, how the mood feels, if anyone is distorting some kind of harmony etc. 1

It causes me to yes talk to people who look lonely, but also to talk to people who bother people who want to be alone, or help people along if they're trying to make excuses to leave/do something else. In other words I don't just spew "hi how are yo you look so sad sit here!!" More so you'll always hear me say "everyone thinks X, everyone says Y" because I put value in the general consensus. It doesn't mean I need peer pressure to live and I wouldn't wear pink on Wednesdays just because, but I 2 

still make my TJ and FP friends roll their eyes at me for it. An example would be "I think I'm an ENFJ because that's what everone tells me I am." On the other hand I'm not affected by direct peer pressure and I'm not a people pleaser at all. I care about the group, but not my own place in it and I will from time to time self-sabotage my own social standing, usually by telling people off when I shouldn't. I'm sometimes very blunt and occasionally give tough love, mostly because I don't think 3

anything but honestly works in the long run and I also have exactly 0 energy to sugar coat anything. Also a bit of fi voice: authenticity to myself, but not too much, because I don't REALLY care. Thanks for any help and let me know if I can try again in case you got nothing. PS mbti-notes, what's generally being said by typology blogs and me are who told me this. PPS my question is if this makes sense for an Fe dom. I'm not asking for a full typing, that'd be uh a lot to expect. 4/4

4 part anon ask afterthought: I think I'm aware of individual needs because it benefits group harmony, the dinner table example being an example of that too. If anything sticks out and doesn't work it gets under my skin and it doesn't stop bothering me until it's fixed. I don't need everyone to be the same, but I need everyone to be comfortable and preferably on the same wavelength, otherwise there's no harmony, and you can't fix that with a "we should all wear pink" mindset. Ok thanks again 5/4

-----

Hi anon,

The first sentence pinged my ENFP radar extremely hard because while I may clash with the NFJs at times, they tend to at least be able to make up their minds. The self-sabotage of telling people off inappropriately and occasional bluntness also sounds more ENFP as does the ‘0 energy to sugar coat’. Fe-doms have a lot of energy to sugar coat. Your overall voice in this ask also reminds me far more of high Ne users than high Ni users, who tend to be much more streamlined. I wouldn’t rule out ENFJ, but ENFP seems more likely to me.

A major source of confusion, since this is one of the more common (and understandable) mistypings, is that ENFPs are extroverts and feelers, so they’re extremely people-oriented, and a pretty large number of them have either a strong 2 or 9 fix leading them to value some sort of harmony. And just as IxTJs can get an tert-Fi morality complex that filters through Te ideas of what is right, ENFPs can get a tert Te achievement complex regarding Fi social goals.