#[ if i didn't have a headache i'd go on abt how it feels like the avvar held on to the truth the longest ]

[tviburar]

the avvar were right, it's all just spirits

[neonstatic]

i'm struggling, like, a lot. i mean, i've always struggled. one thing abt me: i be strugglin' 😎 it feels like every time someone of trust asks me how i'm doing, i'm either saying i'm fine (in the most plain sense of the term) or say i'm tired. i'm always tired. i get my 8 hrs and i'm tired. i get 5 hrs and i'm tired. i sleep 12 hrs straight and i'm still tired. idek if it's physical or mental. i'm just. tired. my mom's noticed and said i should see our doc. i think it's more than just physical tho.

should i go to therapy? i've tried six yrs ago at uni. hated that bald bitch. it has more to do w me than him, probably. i didn't know what i wanted out of it and i refused to go to the queer support group he suggested to me (my brain was deeply rotten from online discourse at the time) and i was just angry and stressed abt school and we only had 3 sessions together. i remember talking abt being gay and mentioning my older sister being a total bitch to me... (we're good now) i can't tell you more than that. oh and i was getting headaches from trying to maintain eye contact. it's all v blurry. these sessions felt like a test more than anything and i was just not ready. you have to be receptive to therapy or it just won't work.

idk that i'll ever feel ready tho. it's not just that i can't open up for shit. it's also an ego thing. i've studied psychology then dropped out and it'd sting to sit across from someone who succeeded to do what i couldn't. cus they're intelligent and driven, and i am a fkg dumbass or wtv. i think i'll just sit here and be on the defensive half of the time. and i'd have to unpack some ableism i got in me brains (like, two yrs ago in winter i was having some very...interesting cognitive processes, and when a friend/coworker asked me if i was fine cus i literally had a dark cloud of energy hanging around me, i just snapped, "yeah i'm fine. what, do i look crazy? you think i'm crazy or smth? i'm not fkg crazy." which was a crazy response fr.)

anyway i'm thinking abt therapy. bc i've been feeling this miserable for a decade and there's an employee program i could benefit from if i wished to. and i think that if i quit my job in the current state i'm in, i won't be able to find another job. short-term therapy might help a lil the second time around. plus it'd be free. but idk that i should/can/deserve it. ahhhh i annoy myself

[kuunibal]

"In my case, I have a tendency to be a people pleaser and help others to the point of neglecting my own wants, needs, and boundaries"

Maybe since I'm not this way naturally, I'm exactly opposite of it, so I find this whole 'giving' thing working for me. But you're like this so I assume this might not be the way for you, Infact it might drain u even more.

I hope you reach that state of mind which you're hoping for. Also, instead of wanting to ditch the quality entirely, you could try to just control it, like divert it to some place better?

Also, i can relate w the draining part to some extent, I think😅 what I did was.. Cut off all those 'draining' friends n activities that only took from me. I must've spoke n written many huge essays/paras to help ppl (perfectly acc to their problems) n despite that, they still repeated crying over the same things so mostly I was just repeating the same stuff again n again.. Ugh.. N when I went to them for smth, since they're not like this, I obv didn't get my kind of response to stuff, which frustrated me at first, but then I learnt to control my expectations. Maybe mostly ppl just need an ear. Even i sometimes. It's ok. Anyway, now I tend to avoid such ppl who can bring this in me. Like I think abt how u be replying to all our hefty msgs! I'd never be able to do this! Seriously, claps to you! Also if your darling was my friend, I think I'd help her a lot at first w her decisions in whatever ways I could, but since I'm not attracted to her, I'd stop at one point, the moment I realise she's only gonna drain me. No offence but she does sound sorta draining from ur descriptions. Like how she's coming to u w her problems! I'm not so open so I don't understand this abt her. She reminds me of some ppl in my life who were such a headache once.

True, I don’t plan on having a bastardisation arc and stop caring about anyone else but myself. I just need to better moderate and communicate my wants/needs with other people’s.

I feel that, I find that many people want to vent their problems rather than solve them, so they want emotional reassurance and support instead of advice and harsh truths. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I get how it can be frustrating to see people repeat the same mistakes and not really try to improve their situation, as well as draining to only serve as some’s emotional punching bag. It’s good that you know how to distance yourself when it gets too much! It sounds like you tend to be more problem-solving oriented when it comes to giving and wanting support from others. I am similar when it comes to giving (often unsolicited) advice, so I try to ask exactly what the other person wants from me: emotional support, specific advice, or just someone to listen.

I genuinely enjoy responding to asks and reading messages! Sometimes my response time gets sporadic because I have a low social battery and a hectic schedule, but I manage!

It can be a little tough with my darling mainly because it can be emotionally heavy, but I do care about her wellbeing and there are certain things she isn’t comfortable with going to anyone else to. She doesn’t want to scare off her relatively recent boyfriend with her mental health issues and already feels like a burden, so I am glad she is able to go to somebody instead of just suffering alone. I don’t help just because I love her, I just don’t want her to get hurt or die and apparently her options are limited. But we did have conversations about how it’s not sustainable for her to rely on me for that kind of thing (I am not always available!) and that there are other people she can trust.

[frecht]

ok to set the scene with background information. my dad donates blood ALL. THE TIME. he's o negative and his blood is missing this thing that most people's blood does have that is horrible for babies so he's specifically extra good for babies that need blood. and i've felt kinda guilty for years that i've never gone but i didn't really know where to begin. especially because i have these awful AWFUL veins (when i've gotten blood work they've had to use a baby needle in my wrist before. and the back of my hand.)

but so a couple weeks ago i saw a sign at my school talking abt a blood drive. so i was like ok this is it! i will sign up ! and i did. crucially for a too-late time, though i didn't know that: i thought 10:45 would give me plenty of time to eat lunch and then get to my 12:20 class. i was WRONG. i also didn't have as big of a breakfast as i should have. i got there at 10:45 and did all the prep stuff fine, filled out their form, talked to the lady abt it, checked blood pressure and heart rate, etc. everything is going fine. i give them my left arm and they hand to use the blood pressure cuff to find my vein bc the tourniquet isn't enough. whatever i kinda expected that. i cannot overstate how bad my veins are. and then after they try to put the needle in something went wrong and it didn't work. but since no blood got into the bag, they can try with my other arm. so i said ok though i was a bit peeved bc i didn't want them to have to draw from my dominant arm but whatever. at this point it was clear that i was not going to have time to eat lunch to i texted my friend begging her to bring me dining hall pizza to class.

the right arm worked fine. it was just around 10 minutes which was honestly way shorter than i'd expected: i thought it would be on the longer side. especially seeing as in all that prep another guy had come up done his interview given his blood and left. so they had my blood and they took a couple samples though my hand did start to go numb so they had to take off the tourniquet and i asked them "hey, i biked here this morning because i always bike to my thursday classes and didn't think it through. will i be ok to bike to class or should i leave it here and walk?" and the nurse said "oh just take extra juice boxes and if you're careful it should be ok i guess..." so i waited around for 10 minutes and had a juice box and cookie and felt fine. and i took 2 extra juice boxes and an extra cookie. and got on my bike and biked idk a half mile? to class.

at the building i had the choice of biking up a longer hill or carrying my bike up 10 stairs. pushing it didn't occur to me. so i carried it up the stairs and i locked it and i was starting to feel a little woozy but i was like ohh it's fine. they did take a pint of my blood. my class was upstairs so i went up and in the stairs thought i felt maybe a headache coming on and i got to class and my friend was NOT there with my food yet and i sat down and then my head started spinning and my ears started ringing and it got louder and louder and i was really REALLY out of it all of the sudden like i do think i was about to pass out and it was all i could do to find my 2 extra juice boxes and CHUG them desperately and open one of my snacks and have a little and at that point i felt not fine but ok. and i thought ok i should go to the vending machine to get gatorade because electrolytes will fix me. but there ISNT a vending machine in that building AT ALL so i had to walk to the next building over (longest 3 minutes of my life) where i then couldn't FIND the vending machine and had to desperately ask my professor who i saw in the halls and THEN there wasn't even gatorade. it was like 6 different kinds of coke, sprite, or water. so i got sprite and went back to class and it turned out the professor WASNT EVEN THERE (he'd forgotten to email us) and the TAs were teaching a VERY skippable class. my friend did end up showing up with food eventually but ohh my god.

afrer I wasb my dishes I will get out my computer and tell you all the tale of my harrowing blood donation experience this morning

[drinkwithmoi]

a week and a half ago i watched aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe.

i was able to rent the movie through tiff's digital screening and i have not been the same since. i thought i'd compile some of my thoughts into a disarray here in case anybody was wondering how devastatingly good it is:

first and foremost, i cried so hard i gave myself a headache. i mean i literally have never been more animated about a movie in my life

at one point i accidentally yelled and i live in a very paper thin suite w my landlord and his wife living above me... sorry guys

aitch alberto was THE only person who could have done this. i fully believe that. her direction seeps through, you can tell just how careful every decision was, the sacrifices and love she gave to this movie... it shows. she is brilliant and i am in love w her artistic vision.

it was created with so much fucking love and you can feel it

the way that it opens with smalltown boy by bronski beat... i knew it was over for me

the cinematography is fucking gorgeous. each shot is arranged like artwork.

max and reese UNDERSTOOD the assignment

reese's dante was so sweet. he was so charming and silly and thoughtful and real. his squeaky voice HAD me

you can see him falling in love with ari throughout the film, you can feel his fear, his yearning, his own loneliness, even if it's wrapped in giggly smiles and playfulness

max's ari was unbelievable

genuinely

im not being dramatic here. he was ari mendoza.

max is a beautiful actor. he knew exactly how to show ari's anger, his frustration at the world, at himself. he is a perfect teenager: his jokes fall exactly the way you want them to, the way he interacts with his parents is layered and meaningful and fun. he is such a complex character and it is beautiful to witness

the OUTFITS!!! dante's sunglasses, his cute pastel fits, his bare feet. it is all so perfect

the 80s vibe is there but not in a garish way, it's subtle and it feels authentic

ari's voice was soooooo beautiful. max has the best movie voice

they are so!!! awkward with each other in the most endearing way

the LOOKS. the way that they look at each other is Charged, they must have fucking aced the chemistry read

this movie is freeing, it's a breath of rainy summer air, it's that feeling when you hold someone's hand for the first time. it's butterflies and rainstorms and dancing to someone you're falling for. it's coming of age and coming to terms with yourself, sometimes in ferocious, unexpected ways.

the most shattering moment for me was when we hear dante talk about wanting to marry a boy. the first time that sexuality is broached is Very deliberate and shown in such a tender way. it brought me back to who i was when i first read about these characters: 15 years old, closeted, and living in my parents strict, religious home. i didn't know how to make sense of myself and where i fit in the world. when i read ari and dante, it was the first book id ever read centered on a queer love story. it destabilized me in the best way. now i'm 19, living on my own and i'm proudly out. seeing their love on the screen is such an important thing. to see queer love that is young, that is beautiful and innocent and soft, love that doesn't have borders or rules. jesus christ we need more of this

when i finished watching it, i took an advil for my headache, waited half an hour and then watched it all over again. when this comes out on some streaming service, it WILL be the most watched movie of my life. it will be the comfort movie i watch on rainy days, when i need something to fall asleep to, when i'm sad, when i'm happy, when i am avoiding my homework. it will be THAT movie

not to be dramatic but i haven't stopped thinking about this movie since i watched it. if anyone else on here has seen it, please message me so i can have someone to talk to about ~those~ scenes. and even if you haven't seen it but you'd like to talk abt the movie, pls message!!!!!

gonna go reread the book and cry :-))

[sunatooru]

I have social anxiety and I get so fucking nervous talking to some ppl , I've been ignoring some texts bc I'm too scared to answer and if I do answer they'll think I'm rude . when some old friend was talking to me it felt so akward .I felt so sweaty and overwhelming that'd I'd be judged bc i dont talk much and I didn't make eye contact , the person talking was so kind I felt bad for leaving all of a sudden. when I went back home I keep thinking abt the convo , I cringed @ myself. I wanted to stop thinking of it so I played some games, then I got bored and I still have so much things to do (hw,organize ,study etc) but I stopped playing and went to my bed to do nothing.so I'm here wanting some comfort , um can I have haikyuu boys suna and if u can write kunimi that'd be great ? um ty .. pls dont do it if u dont want too , hopw ure ok ,

I heard u got a headache, um pls take care hope u get well :)

Hii I hope you’re feeling a little better and taking some rest too <3 I’m much better now thanks! I hope these help xx

~

Warnings: social anxiety mentioned, feelings of guilt

~

Suna

* He walks in on you staring at the ceiling on the bed

* He kneels in front of you and caresses your cheek

* “Something happened.” He catches

* When you tell him about the guilt and feeling overwhelmed, he swiftly nudges you deeper into bed so he can join

* “Don’t worry too much. I know you feel bad but you can’t stop how you feel. Don’t force yourself to accommodate for others if it’s too much.” He whispers, drawing circles on your arm

* “Social anxiety is hard to deal with. It doesn’t make you rude just because you couldn’t hold eye contact. If you want, maybe reassure the person that you’re listening and just find it hard to talk, yeah? But your comfort is also important.” He suggests, kissing your temple

* He smiles, pulling you closer

* “Let’s stay like this a little then do some studying?”

Kunimi

* He’s ready to greet you when you come home and sees your upset expression

* He watches you fidget with you lips and frowns

* He watches you ignore the work on the table as you stare into space as he brings you a snack

* It’s only when you’re in bed that he finally approaches you

* “What’s going on in that pretty head?” He asks, nuzzling his head onto your neck

* He kisses the skin below your ear and waits

* “I see. It’s not like you were being malicious, so don’t feel like it’s your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He nods, wrapping his arm around your torso

* “I know it can get too much but it’s normal to feel like this. I’m sure your friend didn’t mind as much as you think.” He hums, holding one of your hands tight

* “Trust me, pretty. It’s okay and going to be okay.”

[stormblessed95]

And add the fact that she has many as young as 10 years old followers, which some of them could be queer and learn what they should do from her, would normalize so many problematic traits, ,jealousy possesiveness cheating on your s/o (for $$$ or for just because) etc. , and this is what they will think of "queer relationship" bc they're in a homophobic environment. An applaud for the crowd pls.

I'm going to add all my TKlies anons and the asks I've already posted here into this one thread. Just so everyone can be well aware as to WHY she is toxic along with some of the toxic narratives tkkrs push. Then I'm closing this topic and won't be posting anymore asks about it. Rainbow text lady gives me such a headache. I tend to avoid the hell out of anything she does or posts. I'll also split up anons with cute jikook pics because we deserve some happiness in this post too

Anon 2: Every time i see "tkr" and "queer" used in the same sentence, i always think of this girl on twt who exposed herself accidentally. She posted a ss of a chat with her friend with the caption "i love this girl so much" but in the chat the account owner wrote "i wish i was gay, that sounds so fun, and you bitch would be the first girl i'd hit up" ??? But if you look at her bio, there was a pride flag. The audacity maam. Homophobia is so fun, yeah. And we believe you, you're a really queer indeed.

Anon 3: imagine your boyfriend making romantic videos for other person and uploading in public platform just to make you jealous. Boy I would break up immediately

Anon 4: Oh you didn't know? She invented some of coming out stages herself. She decides "TK's current stage" acc to how they behave lately. SI=Stay in, CIO=Coming into open, CO=Coming out. Do the editors of run!bts cutting TK content? TK is in SI stage. Are TK being loud? They're in CIO stage bc they dropping "hints". Did dispatch or any outlet shared a TK related thing? OMG THEY'VE CAME OUT ALREADY!!! THE WHOLE KOREAN INDUSTRY KNOWS ABT THEM!!! Her followers always ask her abt when will TK come out...

Anon 5, relating to tkkrs not tklies: I literally cannot believe i'm typing this right now. Have you seen the drama revolving around 🐰🦁? A specific fanartist better not be named literally drew 🐥getting beated up by🐰bc he was jealous how close 🐥 was to🦁?? And those dumbasses cannot understand that jikookers attacking them bc out of all the imaginary ppl they could've drawn,they chose this path to go? Just bcs it's hard for most tkrs to differentiate b/w fantasy and reality, 🐥 had to be dragged to hell and back everyday. ISTG.

The ask that started this conversation... opinion from an anon about how she doesn't believe their are truly queer TK supporters, only fantasy shippers...

Ask posted about tklies on Twitter about telling young army to come out:

Possible false claims of being LGBTQ ask posted:

I don't have much to add expect this all is all just very very sad. These are REAL people. Not fictional characters to create whatever kind of narrative you want about who they are. I'll just reiterate to stay away from TaeKook_Lives on literally every SM platform, block and report. And make sure you are watching original content when you form your opinions over the guys and to always always be respectful. TKlies topic closed to asks for now. Thank you 💜

[luvdsc]

Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

[the-moon-at-zenith]

let me blow in like a gentle breeze bringing chery blossom scent then. one thing you should know abt me though is that when i kept a diary as a child/pre-teen, i would scrupulously write down mundane details like what i ate that day, what toys i played with (and what drama happened between them), what time my fav tv show about animals was, when i went to sleep etc. such a shame i threw this masterpiece away a couple of years ago, i'd love to know what i had for breakfast on June, 16 2001 :(

anyways, i hope reading this will bring you a pleasant experience.

yesterday was an average but nice day, and i hadn't had those in a while, so it felt kinda special.

i woke up 15 minutes before my first alarm, which is a marvel in its own. i wasn't sleepy and spent that time cherishing the moments of being in bed.

i had coffee from my fav mug, my granny's gift. it pictures the light blue sea and a sailing ship with red sails, and there's a small poem on another side titled "to my grandchild." non-poetically translated, it wishes that each of my days be filled with heartfelt warmth and illuminated by magic light.

that day i also decided to make a habit of "stupid little daily walks for my stupid physical and mental health™." i went out with my mom the day before to get to a pharmacy, which resulted in me being outside and walking for 1,5 h. that was a good start.

i drew a card for the day from my oracle deck (a habit long forgotten) and got my motto is "everything is fine now." i loved the message and left the card at my bedside drawers for the day.

so i took my pills and went out. i walked around my building and then it dawned on me that my 26yo ass could go on the swings because there are seven just near my building, and all of them except one were vacant, and children were playing around but showed no interest towards the swings.

the thing is, ever since i learnt how to swing, which was pretty early considering that those are my earliest memories, i would do only that when outside for a walk. mastering the skill gave me autonomy so i could just spend hours daydreaming with no one getting tired of pushing the swing. it also drew an invisible line between me and other children: i was unapproachable and they usually wouldn't bring me down from my clouds. i adored the swings, to say the least.

i stopped swinging when i was 13. my mom decided to stop being a housewife and found a job. thus, we stopped going on our daily "walks," which essentially were me swinging and my mom reading a book on a bench. also, the school curriculum was becoming more and more overwhelming for me, and my mom really wanted me to graduate with honors, and nothing else was asked of me, so i tried my best and more, and that meant some a lot of sacrifices.

getting back to yesterday, i collected myself and casually walked to the swings while ignoring the presence of some parents at the playground. i mean, the swings are meant for children, and i sure am someone's child, so i don't see a problem here.

and so i did the swinging, and boy did it feel good.

it didn't make me feel 10 years younger or anything but i sure felt refreshed and content. couldn't properly daydream though because children were yelling, and i have had some serious sensory issues lately, so i listened to a podcast episode (which was called "Queer & Magic" and i just loved it).

also that day:

didn't have a headache, only some tension in the head, esp in temple areas, but it still didn't become a full headache

i surfed online shops to find some essentials for a stray cat now living at the tenth floor near my wife's apartment; we're planning to adopt this baby, so we need a cat owner starter pack and basic vet services, which i eagerly studied as well and then discussed with my beloved

my student asked to reschedule the lesson for another day, so my evening turned out completely free, and i could write a post for an RP with my wife

i finally decided on the way of keeping the weekly log in my bullet journal: one page of the spread is for urgent non-essentials & work (lessons, errands, chores, shower reminders), and another one is for things that bring me dopamine happiness (spending time w/ my wife, writing posts for RPs, writing blog posts, learning about stuff, and all other things from my "dopamine menu," which i actually made into a picture for easy access)

first time in a few weeks made a daily check-in entry (i no longer push myself to do it daily although i keep the name), which helped me trace sources of some of my recent depressive thoughts, and i made a few surprising conclusions which feel to be really close to the truth; also, writing that down helps get it out of my head so that i don't keep munching it, and that does feel good

by the end of the day, i thought of a friend i hadn't contacted for more than half a year (and i think i also forgot to contact her on her b-day, although i might've called but i can't remember if i actually did). absence of object permanence makes it hard for me to keep in touch with people. i don't use facebook, i deleted twitter a long time ago, i haven't visited instagram for a few months already (for my mental health), so i have no idea what's going on in the lives of those i don't directly communicate with, and i'm kinda absent from their lives.

but with this person, i know i might just send her a few photos from my camera roll that i especially like. and because i usually feel too overwhelmed to actually tell (in writing) about what has been up, this is a perfect way to just say "hey, i'm thinking about you." and so i did. and she replied with the photos of her own. we exchanged a few messages. i felt like writing her a letter, on actual paper (that's the kind of a person she is to me, i guess, a person i'd love to write an "old-fashioned" letter to), so i suggested this, and she was just genuinely happy about getting a real letter.

finally, i watched the full moon from my balcony. it rose above the lights of the city and above the forest, and the water in the lakes was glimmering silver.

hey y’all when was the last time you had a good day? feel free to describe it in as much detail as you’d like <3

[luvdsc]

Hihi Cat! I've come to deliver some good news! (This is pretty long huhu ToT)

MY ERB HAS BEEN APPROVED AND I CAN PROCEED TO RECRUIT PARTICIPANTS!! Ahh it's been such a blessing to be able to proceed immediately! I've actually hit my target amount of participants in less than a day (IT'S CRAZY) but I'm gonna collect more responses cuz the more the better! (Would you wanna check the questionnaire out? I can PM you the link!! :3)

Also also I PASSED THAT FINALS! The one I took a day after my vaccination (1st dose) ToT GAHH I'm so happy I won't even ask for more, it's enough :3

I've been writing my thesis during this sem break but it's progressing pretty slowly cuz I've been so drained from last semester and the vaccine itself. Huhu but I've written a brief rundown for my proposal so there's a rough idea there, just needa rly assemble it into a clear narrative. And yes I agree! Psychology studies are a beautiful fusion of science & human essence imo, and its fascinating learning more abt ourselves and how we as the human species progress in life ya know? 😌

I got my second dose exactly a week ago and got the same side effects - headache, arm soreness, hunger, fatigue; I felt like a fusion of psyduck & snorlax HAHAHAHA 😂 - it wasn't anything serious so yay I'm fully vaccinated! (in a few weeks time keke I'll be)

HAHAHAHA my vaccination appointments were pretty eventful. The nurses and volunteers were all so warm and friendly! I'm the type of person who feels whatever's being injected into me, it's not the pain that I wanna distract myself from (it wasn't pain tbh) but that sluggish discomfort I get from the needle ejaculation >//< sooo as they showed me the vile and syringe before injecting me, I prepped my Yangyang photocard in my hand. During my second dose, the nurse thought I had some fancy way of taking a video when in actual fact I was just looking at my Yangyang photocard hehe UwU she asked me whether I wanted to see the needle going in (smtg I can't look at tbh) and I was like HELL NAH ToT

And also some recap from the previous ask!

There's no need to apologise for the delayed response okie!! UwU my sem break is ending this week, but I've spent my time completing my academic research trainee tasks (transcribing audio clips), I've also created the content & design for my uni's newsletter, did some thesis writing, and I took a course on financial planning on Coursera to prep myself for the adulting life ToT

And idm sharing my back up / failed topics! I didn't have a lot of cards in my hands, but here are some of em!

1) time perspective and meaning in life 2) anticipatory nostalgia 3) not a topic but a variable! fragility of happiness / happiness aversion

what ideas did you settle on for yr art pieces? If you dm sharing, I'd love to hear abt it! 💖💖💖

Tbh I can't think of a fav ice cream flavor hmm 🤔 i rly didn't think it'd be so hard thinking of a fav ice cream flavor but the first that comes to mind is green tea! I like them milky flavored ice cream😍 though my fav from this ice cream place I go to is thai milk tea, it's so fragrant and milky!! 🥺💖 I just got myself a tub of milk & biscoff gelato keke UwU what's yr fav ice cream flavor? :3

For my course structure:

We have 2 long sems (Jan - Apr, & Aug - Dec, 16 weeks) & a short sem (May - July, 9 weeks)! Our sem breaks are only around a month then it's back to sleepless nights ToT AND YES those weeks were the most stressful weeks ever 🥺😭 I'm glad I'm graduating soon for that reason 😂(though idk what awaits in the working world ToT that is another fear I have :/)

Thank you for being part of this journey and being open to listening to my lil adventures! 🥺🙆🏻‍♀️💖😭 esp w the amount of responses and ppl helping me, I feel a lil more motivated to work and excel in this pregnancy (thesis, I call it pregnancy cuz it's around 9 months too HEHE) Since the pandemic, it's been pretty hard separating studies & hobbies :/ I've learnt it the hard way from my period cramps last sem (mine's the severe type where you can faint ToT), and it was also on my last paper for finals !! Very traumatizing ._. but I'll continue to manage myself better! :3

Huhu Cat since you're working now, I also wanna ask abt yr experience in job seeking! Cuz unemployment is a real deal here esp. w everything that's going on :') I don't have working experience either (only had 1 through internship) and it literally feels like I'm going into the unknown ToT I've been running over some case studies and assessments just to better prep myself for this. Do you have any advice as someone who's already working? UwU

Take care and stay lovely as always!! 💖💖💖

hi, sweetpea !!!! 🌸 omg major congratulations for getting your ERB approved, honey bee !!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 that’s absolutely amazing, and I’m uber proud of you 🥺💗💗 also, it’s wonderful that you hit the required number of participants so quickly !!!!! (And I would love to participate if the questionnaire is still open 🤧)

AND HECK YEAAA CONGRATS ON PASSING THE FINAL TOO 🤩🤩🤩🤩 big congrats to you all around, miss smarty pants 💓💓💓

Oh gosh, I hope you got to rest during your semester break too ): you’re working so hard, please remember to take care of yourself !! 💕 your mental health is more important 🤍 have you finalized your proposal now? And omg yes exactly !!! It’s so interesting to see the thought process behind an action and how it can be manipulated or influenced by various stimulants or there’s also the argument between nature versus nurture too and how that affects psychology and it’s just all so cool to learn about 🤩

Omg you had so many symptoms, I’m so sorry to hear that 😭 I only had a sore arm, but that’s what happens when I get any shot 🤧 I hope you’re feeling better now 💘💘

I’m really glad to hear that the nurses and volunteers were kind and friendly !! it’s always comforting to have nice people as doctors, especially when you’re trusting them to stick a needle in you bshdjdjdkd omg yangyang to the rescue !!!! 💞💞 we’re not allowed to record record any medical appointments, like I think the nurse thought the person in front of me in line was recording when they were getting their vaccine and said they weren’t allowed to do that 😅 and aaaaa I always have to look when they inject me, I don’t like being taken by surprise 🤧

oh my gosh you were so productive over your semester break !!!! :o and oooo you do content & design for your school’s newsletter? Do you do stuff like graphic designing and write articles? 💓 and how was the financial planning course !! Did you learn a lot? Did you like the studies? :’)

aaaaa those topics sound so cool ??? 🤩🤩 I would definitely be down to read about those omg 💛

for my 3D design class, I decided to do lightbulbs and flowers as my overarching theme for my art pieces !! I included a couple pictures below under the cut at the bottom 💓 the first one is a soft sculpture made out of newspaper, and there’s a pencil next to it for size reference, the second one is made of wires that I shaped myself, and the third one is made of foam boards that I cut and assembled myself as well 💕 and I included a picture of my final painting project! it’s a triptych and I believe the size was like 18 x 24 for each one? If you click on the picture, it should be better quality!

omg I love green tea ice cream too !!!!! 🍵🍦 I like going to somi somi for their matcha and milk swirl ice cream with red bean taiyaki 💚 I only had thai milk tea ice cream once, but it was phenomenal 🤩 I wish they sold it near me too !! milk and biscoff :o I’ve never tried that flavor! I’ll have to see if it’s sold around here :’) green tea is my favorite, but I also really like everything but the... from Ben and Jerry’s !! 💛 also alcoholic ice cream.... like there’s this one kind where it was a breakfast esque type with vanilla, corn flakes, and bourbon, and it was delicious 😋

omg what 😭😭 you’re basically going to school year round with no break bahsjdjdjdkd when I was in uni, i had a month off for winter break (usually something like dec 9 - jan 9) and then mid june to mid September off, so around three months of summer vacation? Your school schedule sounds absolutely brutal 💀💀

and omg of course !!! Thank you for letting me be a part of the journey 🥺💗 bdjdjddj pregnancy omg that’s such an interesting way of seeing it :o sending you all my love and support for a successful delivery of your thesis baby 🥰🥰 oh yeah, it’s definitely been a struggle to separate everything, especially when the lines between home and workspace blur with online school or working from home. And oh my god ???? Are you okay ?? Did you go see a doctor or take any medication? I hope you’re feeling better now !! Please take care of yourself 😭

ah, I got my job through my internship, so I’m not sure how helpful I will be 😅 but during the process of interviewing for internships, there were several rounds for each company that range from a group interview, a one on one interview, video interview where they give you random questions that you have to answer on the spot (some of mine were discuss the stock market, give a sales pitch on something you’re interested in, etc), a test, etc. I think it’s different depending on the job you’re going for, but that’s what I had to do in the business field! It’s important to study and prep for all of this!! It’s like taking an verbal exam for one of your classes. And also make sure to study the company’s website and familiarize yourself with what they do/sell.

My one piece of overall advice would be about interviews! Interviews are important in which the person interviewing you is seeing if you’ll be a good fit with the company, not in terms of skill, but personality. They already know you’re qualified and have good skills - that’s how you got the interview. With the interview, they’re essentially trying to see how personable you are and if you will work well with their team. Some people are so intent on proving their skills that they kinda just rattle off all their achievements and whatnot, and it’s like... the interviewer already knows this, it’s all on the resume they reviewed when they decided to give the interview offer. Be friendly, open, maybe make a little small talk at the beginning (“hey, how are you? any weekend plans / how was your weekend?” This is what I did for all my business interviews, and I got an offer back from every one 🤧💗), make appropriate jokes / be a little funny, just show that you’d be a fun person to have in the office whom people will want on their team, but that you will also be dedicated to the job and work hard 💘

And thank you so much, honey bee!!! 💞 I hope you’re doing well and having a good week , and please take care as well 🌷🌷