#[ i sometimes wonder what his kill-count is ]
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KNUCKLE VELVET
description:
â. . .Nothing hurts like you do. Like the way you say I love you.â
Following VIâs âbetrayalâ, the heartbreak, and cruelty that rests in her heart, she begins to embark on a path of full of physical and mental depravities that threaten to kill her tenfold.
That is, until you find her again.
â âą â â° â
pairings: vi x reader, caitlyn x violet
word count: 1.4k
content warnings: angst, violence, denial of feelings, childhood friends to strangers to lovers, 3 parts series.
authors note: sorry for being gone for a little while !! I did not have any motivation to write but now itâs Christmas break so Iâm hopeful Iâll write a little more <3 I hope you guys enjoy this have a good holidays đ also my inspirations were knuckle velvet and the carpet ep by ethel cain - hence the chapter title and wip name :P ( also cross posted on ao3!! my user is joannasprose if u wanna read it there! Itâs also linked in my navigation :) )
â âą â â° â
Her knuckles are achingâswollen and bloody from her fights. Fights that were, at first to make money for herself, yet now has turned itself into something formally depraved. Perhaps another form of self-deprecation, of hurt and of the brutality in which she finds herself subjectedto.
Everything begins to hurtâthe throbbing in her head, the pain of childhood melancholy, and most recently, a rebirthed heartbreak. The memory of Caitlyn's cruelty is wedged between her ribs, along with her fingers and in the wounds that wonât heal.
So maybe thatâs what it is, her reasoning for putting herself on display: for digging her nails deep into her skin as her fists meet her next unfortunate opponent.
But as she lays half awake in her bed, reminding herself that she cannot help anyone if she wonât help herself, a prolonged breath leaves her mouth.
â âą â â° â
YOU FIND YOURSELF sat in the stands, hands in your lap as the crowd's cheers begin at a simmer and slowly shape into a boil. The hairs on your skin have created goosebumps in anticipation, waiting unnervingly as you wait for her to enter the stage.
In all honesty, you feel a bit stalkerish. You had never found yourself trying to formally talk to herâin your defense, it had been seven years since then. Since everything went wrong and since everyone had changed. Yourself included.
And perhaps, if she had truly wanted to see you again, why hadnât she come to find you. To scrape up the pieces of a broken love and pull you in her arms again? You try desperately to pull yourself out of your thoughts as you see her, finally, stepping out of the archway and in the attire you always saw her in.
To anyone else who might not have known her as well as you did, they might have brushed her off as just another Zaunite. One who raved in the spotlight and indulged in the delights Zaun had to offer. But you knew better.
You could see it in the indents of her skinâand though you had never come too close to her, your vision along with where you sat had been enough for you to recognize her anywhere. There were rumors that she had come back; rumors of her being in acquaintance with a piltie, others speaking of the havoc sheâd caused around the streets of Zaun, sometimes even Piltover.
When you had first acknowledged them, your heart ached. For her, and then for Jinx, for Ekko. And sometimes, even for yourself.
The roars of the crowd hadnât died down, in fact, they had grown louder when her opponent had finally come on stage. He was five times bigger than Vi in size, and usually, you hadnât wondered whether or not she would win. Vi was a skilled fighter, fast on her feet, and level headed.
But now, as you watch her bring her balled fists up to her face, her eyes shuddering, her stance becoming wobbly as she puts her left foot in front of the otherâyou shamefully begin to wonder if she could truly win it, with the way she looks now.
In the first round, and even half of the second, she had the high ground. Blood was split, from his face and from her knuckles. But slowly, her movements had begun to deter, the sways becoming a more prominent factor in it all. And in the split of a second, one dipped in blood and in alcoholâhis fist met her face and sheâd hit the ground.
You couldnât help but bring a hand to your mouth as a gasp left your throat. She didnât get up, not this time. But her limp body laid there, unmoving on the ground as the crowd counted. All you could do was there, all you could do was watch as someone unknown to you, lifted her off the ground, and carried her out of the ring.
For whatever reason, seeing her like this pained you more than anything. In truth, you didnât like the fact that she was doing this to herself. Nothing good had come out of it. In your eyes, she didnât look happy or grateful from the outcome.
Just tired and hurt.
And so there you found yourself, standing from your spot and sifting through the crowd. Some cursed at you for blocking the view as the man below gloated his victoryâbut you didnât care for it. Desperate to find her.
But you stop at your tracks at your realization. Find her and say what? You think to yourself.
Youâd been gone, sheâd been gone. Sheâs moved on so what is there left to say? But you push your hurt and questions aside, resuming your hair and leaving out the doors the brawling scene.
When times had become unbearable, much like this one, you found yourself thinking of the past.
â âą â â° â
THE NIGHT IS how it should be. Your body pressed up against hers as the wind whistles, as those grueling goosebumps come around as they always have, and as Vi speaks, âAre you even listening?â She asks, looking down to your face resting on her shoulder, a crooked smile on her lips.
âOf course I am,â you say, smiling as she rolls her eyes.
âOh sure,â she begins, trailing off before resuming, âwhat was I talking about then?â An even wider smile finds itself on your faceârecalling the moments prior to this one.
âUmâŚthe intricacies ofâŚstructures?â Itâs silent until a laugh pulls itself from Viâs throat, the pearls in her gums taking their place on stage as she speaks, âseriously? Did you even try?â
You pull yourself away from her, slapping her shoulder playfully as you bite your lip, âDude! Can you blame me? It's freezing cold out here. My skin might freeze and fall off my bones.â
Vi hums in response, turning her attention to the cityâthe buildings that stand oh so firmly, all beautifully made in their own ways.
The silence is evident. Apparent enough to make you anxious as you take it all in.
Giving into the silence, you speak, âVi? Whatâs wrong?â You follow the path that her eyes lead to. But to no avail, all you find are scattered lights and people who look like ants compared to the both of you.
âNothing I justâŚâ she says, beginning to bring a hand to ear to her, a sheepish smile on her lips now as you look at her. âI just donât want this to end,â she says and then she looks at you. With a look of endearment and love and anything youâve found yourself dreaming of.
âPromise me you wonât change. Promise me youâll always be with me.â A smile finds itself on your lips as you lift a hand to her cheek, watching as she closes her eyes and grabs your wrist, gently.
âI promise. I wonât change. Not now, not ever.â
You say, genuinity laced across your lips.
Because it was true. It was, youâd truly meant it.
âââ
It hadnât been that hard to find her.
A turn down an alleyway and you saw her.
Alone and slumped against the bottom of the stairs. For a long moment, you just stared. Unsure of how to approach her and what to do. Even now, would she have remembered you? Even after all those years, thinking of her and wondering where she could have ended up, had she thought of you?
Or were you just simply another thing abandoned and forgotten.
Undermining that fact, you stalk towards her anyways, gently and with precaution.
Finally, as youâve set closed, watching her heaving on the sets of stairs, you see her for what she is now: a raw, gaping wound.
Hesitantly, you lift your hand to her shoulder, desperately wanting to push her into a sitting position. But the moment your hand falls close to her skin, she reaches out her own to grab your wrist. Not gentle like it used to be, but harsh.
A startled breath leaves your throat, wanting to pull away but she still holds on to you.
Her vision is squirming, her eyes are looking in every direction before befalling you.
Before her hand loosens and is gentle once again, like youâve always known.
But sheâs let go of you now as she speaks, ây/n?â
to be continued. . .
â âą â â° â
KNUCKLE VELVET
CHAPTER ONE: MISUSE OH
#vi x y/n#vi x you#vi arcane#vi x reader#vi#arcane season 2 act 2#arcane#fix it of sorts#arcane x reader#arcane x you
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"Mistle-Nope (But Maybe Yes)â
đ My bucktommy Christmas fic is here! Story time: I was bored last week at work and scrolling through insta when I came across this post. I immediately thought "Ah yes! that's Bucktommy and Eddieâ lol. And so, this story was born đ I hope you all enjoy it! I loved writing it (even if I struggled with it at times). đ
Gen | 3.1K words | bucktommy | Post-Break Up, Getting Back Together, Crack Treated Seriously, Multi-POV, Mistletoe Shenanigans
read on ao3 or below the cut
This yearâs Christmas party was taking place at Bobby and Athenaâs new house. Theyâd wanted to celebrate the start of this new chapter in their lives, and inviting everyone over for Christmas dinner seemed like the perfect time. As a result, they went all out with the decorations. Warm lights draped across every available surface, and a tall tree, decked out in ornaments that looked like they came straight out of a catalog, took over a large part of the living room. A drink station in the roomâs corner featured wine, warm apple cider, and hot chocolate. From the kitchen wafted the unmistakable scent of various baked goodsâapple pie, red velvet cake, gingerbread and sugar cookiesâcompletely overtaking the orange glazed ham that Bobby had prepared. And sprigs of mistletoe hung above all the doorways.Â
The 118, along with their partners and children, spread out through the house, and while the general mood was festive, there was a particular sense of tension coming from two of their guests.Â
Buck stood by the kitchen counter, focusing intently on finishing the decorative touches on the sugar cookies, glancing up now and then surreptitiously across the room. By the drinks station stood Tommy, swirling his wine and staring into his glass as if it held the answers to all his lifeâs problems.  Â
If anyone asked, Buck was fine. Totally fine. When Bobby had approached him about inviting Tommy to the Christmas party, heâd only hesitated for a moment. He could handle any awkwardness that might arise between themâafter all, theyâd already crossed paths during a few calls. And despite the hurt Buck sometimes still felt, he didn't want Tommy to spend Christmas alone. If heâd gone a little overboard with the baking at the thought of spending the holiday with the man whoâd broken his heartâ well that was entirely Buckâs business. Bobby and Athena had gotten a delicious spread of desserts, so they knew not to bring up the subject to him. Although they kept sending concerned glances his way when they thought he wasn't looking. Â
There was one thing Buck hadn't counted on, however. That was, how overwhelmed he'd feel, suddenly being so much closer to Tommy than he'd had the chance to be in months. He thought he had finally made his peace with the breakup, had stopped wondering why, and had tried to move on. But being here together like thisâit only reminded him that what they'd had between them still felt unfinished, lingering like an itch he couldn't scratch.Â
Unfortunately for Buck, everyone else at the party had noticed too.Â
âââââââââââââââââââ
âTheyâre killing me,â Hen muttered from her spot by the fireplace.Â
âExcruciating,â Chimney agreed, reaching to steal a cookie off the dessert tray atop the coffee table. âDid you see that? Tommy glanced over at Buck four times in the last minute. And Buckâs looked back twice.âÂ
Hen snorted, giving him an incredulous look. âYouâre counting their glances?âÂ
Chimney shrugged. âWhat? Iâm a details guy. Also, itâs driving me crazy.âÂ
Hen raised her eyebrow. âYouâre the one who absolutely insisted he needed to be invited. Howâd you get Bobby to do it anyways?âÂ
âI have my ways,â he said, looking around shiftily. âAnd, I thought itâd help!â Chimney said defensively. âYou know, finally getting them together in one place, no emergencies or other duties as an excuse. I thought they'd finally get to talking.â He shrugged, âMaybe spark some reconciliation. Come on! They belong together.âÂ
âMhm. And howâs that working out for you?âÂ
Chimney groaned, rubbing his face. âItâs like watching the worldâs most bizarre mating dance, they keep fluffing their feathers at each other and then running in the opposite directionâÂ
âYou two are ridiculous,â Eddie muttered, finally joining the conversation.Â
âOh, weâre ridiculous?â Chimney scoffed. âEddie, youâve been staring at them like theyâre the main couple in your favorite Telenovela.âÂ
Eddie didn't deny it. He had also noticed how Buck and Tommyâs eyes kept gravitating towards each other. How Buck would go over to refill his drink, brushing up against Tommy in the process. And how Tommy would look like he wanted to say something, but always stopped himself at the last second. Looking at them, it was obvious how much they still cared for one another, the problem wasâneither of them would make the first move to fix it.Â
âTheyâre idiots,â Eddie muttered. Buck was like a brother and Tommy was a really good friend, which is why it made this whole situation frustrating. The two of them needed to get their heads out of their asses and just talk to each other. Being apart clearly wasn't working for them. Buck still had his crazy baking binges whenever he particularly missed Tommy. And Tommyâwell he kicked Eddie's ass onto the Muay Thai mats one too many times. They needed to mend this before his body was taken out of commission. Death by baked goods or combat sports, he shuddered at the thought. He was really starting to regret keeping Buck from texting Tommy a month ago.Â
âBig, lovable idiots,â Hen agreed. âSo what are we gonna do about it?âÂ
Chimney grinned, reaching into his pocket to reveal a small sprig of mistletoe. âI brought reinforcements.âÂ
Eddie frowned. âSeriously? How is that going to helpâÂ
âOh come on,â Chimney said, moving the mistletoe in his hand. âItâs Christmas. A little mistletoe magic never hurt anybody.â
Hen folded her arms. âI think your planâs in trouble already. Buckâs been avoiding every doorway like itâs a hazard zone.âÂ
âAnd Tommyâs all but taken residence in front of that drink station. Plus I think heâd just leave if he figured out what we were up to.â Chimney sighed disappointingly.
Eddie groaned, watching as Buck and Tommy, still on opposite sides of the room, once again glanced at each other when they thought no one was looking. It was infuriating.Â
âYou know what?â Eddie said, standing up straighter. âGive me that thing.â
Chimney blinked in confusion. âWhat?âÂ
âThe mistletoe.â Eddie snatched it from Chimneyâs hand.Â
Hen raised an eyebrow. âWhatâs your plan?âÂ
Eddie scowled. âI donât have one. Iâm improvising.â âââââââââââââââââââ
At the kitchen island, Buck was cutting the apple pie and setting the pieces onto plates when he sensed someone approaching. He glanced upâand there was Tommy, trying to stealthily grab a piece of cake.Â
âUh, hey,â Tommy said sheepishly, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that special way of his. Â
Buck froze in panic for half a second before schooling his expression into something neutral. âHâHeyâ
The air between them was awkwardâslightly charged with an undercurrent of tension and things left unsaid. Buck didnât know how to shake the feeling.Â
âYou having fun?â Tommy asked.Â
âUh yâyeah, definitely,âBuck lied, nodding like a bobble head. Jeez, pull yourself together, he thought. âGreat party, Lots of, uh, desserts!âÂ
Tommy gave him a look, and Buck hated that Tommy could still see through him so easily.Â
âGood, Iâm glad,â Tommy replied, voice a little tight.Â
Before Buck could continue blabbing and making a fool of himself, Eddie appeared out of nowhere, looking far too determined for Buckâs comfort.Â
âAlright,â Eddie said, interrupting whatever awkward moment the two were having. Eddie was happy they were finally talking, but he was on a mission now.Â
Both Buck and Tommy blinked at him in confusion.Â
âEddie,â Buck started, âwhatââ
Eddie raised his arm, holding up the sprig of mistletoe like it was a declaration of war. âYouâre under it.âÂ
Tommy squinted, âWhat?âÂ
âYouâre under the mistletoe," Eddie repeated, deadpan.Â
âYouâre holding it,â Tommy frowned.Â
âIt doesn't matter,â Eddie said stubbornly, slightly shaking the mistletoe over them. âStill counts.âÂ
Buck scoffed at him. âThatâs not how mistletoe works, man. And you canât just go holding it up above people's heads, itâsââ
âShut up and kiss,â Eddie cut in, face blank and his voice completely flat.Â
Tommy turned to Buck, his expression torn between amusement and disbelief. âIs he serious right now?âÂ
Eddie, once again wiggled the mistletoe above their heads. âYes, now kiss.â Â
For a moment, neither of them moved. The room had gone so quiet, you could hear a pin dropâHen and Chimney watched with barely restrained glee, Athena peeked out from the hallway, Bobby pretended he wasn't paying attention and Maddie was trying to sneakily record the moment.Â
Buck huffed a small laugh, running a hand through his hair. âYou know what? Fine.â
Tommy looked at him surprised. âFine?âÂ
âYeah, fine,â Buck repeated, turning to face him. His voice was quieter, softer when he added, âItâs Christmas, right?â He hated how desperate he sounded, how much he actually wanted to feel Tommyâs lips on his. One more time, even ifâhe never recovered from this again.Â
Tommyâs brow furrowed. He looked like he wanted to argue, but something in Buckâs eyes made him stop. Instead, he took a deep breath and exhaled a quiet laugh. The butterflies in Buckâs stomach multiplied at the sound of it; he had really missed Tommyâs laugh. Â
âAlright,â Tommy said, stepping closer.Â
And then it happened.Â
The kiss started tentativelyâhesitant, carefulâbut somewhere between the first touch and the way Tommyâs thumb brushed under his chin, so reminiscent of their first kiss forever ago, it deepened. The room erupted in cheers and whistles, but Buck and Tommy didnât seem to notice. Now that theyâd had a taste of each other again, they had no plans of stopping anytime soon.  Â
âââââââââââââââââââ
The cheers had grown louderâChimney was whooping like heâd just won the lottery, Karen and Hen were clapping and murmuring to each other, Athena was just shaking her head at the theatrics while Bobby looked on proudly, and Maddie looked entirely too satisfied with her phone. Â
Eddie, meanwhile, stood frozen in place, mistletoe still held awkwardly over Buck and Tommy, staring at the unfolding scene in front of him.Â
âOâŚokay,â he muttered under his breath. âThat worked a little too wellâÂ
Eddie admitted he hadn't thought farther than getting these two to face their feelings for each other. At most, he was expecting an awkward peck and them finally talking things out. He shouldâve known betterâthis was Buck and Tommy, the two had been notorious for never being able to keep their hands off one another.Â
He stood regretting all his life choices and wondering why he was still watching his best friends make out in front of him when suddenlyâhe heard one of them moan and that was it. âNope, nu-uh.âÂ
He chucked the mistletoe behind him, ignoring Chimâs oof and weak protest.Â
âAlright, mistletoeâs gone. Please, for the love of god and everyone's eyes tonightâget a roomâ Eddie pleaded.Â
âNot one of ours,â Athena interjected dryly.Â
That seemed to finally snap the couple back to reality, Tommy and Buck ended the kissâboth blushing and breathless, but staring at each other like theyâd just discovered the meaning of life.Â
The look between them lingered, something unspoken but heavy passing in the airâa shared understanding and quite possibly a first step towards fixing what had once been broken between them.Â
âWant to get some fresh air?â Tommy softly asked Buck.Â
âYeâŚYeah,â Buck answered happily, ducking his head shyly.Â
Buck and Tommy turned to Eddie. They both beamed at him and excused themselvesâTommy setting his hand on Buckâs lower back and leading him outside. Eddie shook his head fondly, finally happy his friends had come together. Though he couldnât quite believe he had to be the catalyst for it.Â
âNice Work, Cupid,â Chimney said, elbowing him.Â
âDonât call me that,â Eddie muttered, glaring at the mistletoe clutched in Chimâs hand. âAlso, different HolidayâÂ
âIt looks like you solved the problem,â Hen added.
âI just gently pushed things along. And now, I need a drink for my troubles,â Eddie said, already looking towards the drink station like the worldâs thirstiest man.
âOh, come on man,â Chimney said excitedly. âYou know what youâve just done?â he asked dramatically, clapping Eddie on the shoulder. âYouâve given us a Christmas miracle!âÂ
Eddie just rolled his eyes and walked away to get his drink.Â
As he walked away, Chimney turned to Hen smirking. âI give them two weeks before theyâre back together officially.âÂ
Athena, from the kitchen yelled âOne week!âÂ
âThree days,â Bobby called out casually as he walked by with a tray of cookies.Â
Hen snorted, shaking her head. âYou all know theyâre getting back together by the end of the night. But Iâm always happy to take your money.â
âââââââââââââââââââ
Outside, the night was coolâthe kind of December night in California where a light jacket was all you needed. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves of the trees lining the back of Bobby and Athenaâs yard. Twinkling Christmas lights wrapped around the patioâs gazebo casting a warm light over them.Â
Tommy and Evan stood side by side, the sound of laughter and soft music occasionally filtering through the partially closed glass doors behind them.Â
Tommy had his arms crossed, feeling like it was the only thing keeping him steady. At his side, Evan rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at his feet, scuffing marks onto the concrete floor beneath him. For a moment, neither of them spoke. The sounds of the night filling the silence and space between them.Â
Finally, Tommy broke that silence. âSoâŚthat just happened.âÂ
Evan let out a choked laugh, nodding. âYeah. That definitely happened.âÂ
Tommy turned to him, his expression soft but hesitant. âI didn't think youâd actually do it.âÂ
Evan gave a small shrug, his voice quieter now. âHonestly, neither did I. But then Eddie started waving that stupid mistletoe, and I thoughtâŚwhy not? I mean, whatâs one more heartbreak, right?â He tried to laugh it off, but it came out more bitter than he was expecting.Â
Tommyâs face fell, and he took a small step closer. âEvâŚBuck. Fuck, noâEvan,â he said imploringly. His stomach churned at the thought of Evan hurting, all because he had been a coward.Â
âNo, itâs fine,â Buck apologized quickly, shaking his head. âIâm okay. Really.âÂ
âStop,â Tommy said, his voice firm but not harsh. âYou donât have to pretend with me, Evan.âÂ
Evan looked at him then, and the vulnerability in his eyes hit Tommy like a punch to the chest. âI donât know how to do this, Tommy,â Evan admitted. âI donât know how to stand here with you and act like everythingâs okay when you were the one who left me. And yet, I stillâŚâ He swallowed hard, his voice trailing offä¸looking at Tommy slightly scared.Â
Tommy felt like he couldn't breathe. He was terrified to ask, but he needed to know. âYet you still what? He asked gently, stepping closer.Â
âI still love you,â Evan finished, his voice barely audible. âAnd I donât know how to stop. Iâve tried, Tommy. I promise, butâŚâÂ
Tommyâs heart twisted at the raw honesty in Evanâs voice. He reached out, tentatively, his hand hovering for a moment in the space between them, before resting it lightly on the side of Evanâs face. âYouâre not the only one,â he said softly.Â
Evan inhaled sharply and his eyes met Tommyâs, searching for any sign of deception, of hesitation. âWhat are you saying?âÂ
Tommy took a deep breath, his fingers twitching slightly on Evanâs face. âIâm saying I love you. I never stopped loving you. And Iâve spent every moment since I walked out of your loft that night trying to convince myself it was the right thing to do. That youâd be better off without meä¸â
âTommyä¸, Evan tried to interrupt.Â
Tommy kept talking, as though he didn't hear Evan. âBut seeing you tonightâŚbeing near you againâŚâHe shook his head, his voice thick with emotion. âItâs like Iâve been living without a heart all this time, and now, here with youä¸I can feel it beating again.âÂ
Evan stared at him, uncomprehendingly. âThen why did you leave, Tommy?âÂ
Tommyâs shoulders sagged under the weight of the question. âThat night, when you asked me to move in, I was terrified. I felt like Iâd fooled you into thinking I was this amazing guy, and if I let it go onâŚIâd keep trying to be someone I wasnât. Or youâd eventually see the real meä¸a broken and lonely man with a lot of baggageâand eventually youâd realize youâd made a mistake. I didnât know which one would be worse. I had been hurt so many times before, I couldn't let you break my heart. So I panicked and ran. And broke my own heart in the process.â Â
For a moment, Evan didn't say anything, his eyes searching Tommyâs face. Tommy felt his heart clenching in fear at Evan deciding to leave. Then, slowly, Evan reached up and covered Tommy's hand with his own. âIâm sorry, I realized afterwards that I really blindsided you. I should've just told you what I really meant, that I love you and wanted you around as much as possible. I understand being afraid. But Tommy, It wasn't fair of you to make that decision for us. For me. I've been in relationships before, I know when I want something.â
âI know,â Tommy said quietly. âIâm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. Shouldn't have said it at all.â
âGood,â Evan said, squeezing Tommyâs hand. âAnd, I get scared too,â he admitted. âBut maybe this time around we can really talk and get to know each other better and figure it all out, together.âÂ
Tommy felt his lips twisting into a smile. âIâd like that. And maybe next time you can remember I own a house, Evan.â Tommy said, using his other hand to poke him on the side.Â
Evanâs face exploded into a blinding smile, squirming slightly at Tommy touching his side. âRight, see weâre already discussing the important details!â Â
Tommy shook his head fondly, and finally let himself lean forward softly putting his lips to the pink mark above Evanâs eyebrow. Evan sighed happily.Â
They stood there for a moment, looking into one another 's eyes, neither quite believing the other was real. Feeling infinitely grateful to their friend who had given them the push they needed to get here. The glow from the Christmas lights reflected in Evanâs beautiful shining blue eyes, as Tommy traced his thumb over his lips.Â
âMerry Christmas, Evan,â Tommy said gently, his voice carrying a note of something vulnerable but undeniably hopeful.Â
âMerry Christmas, Tommy,â Evan replied, pulling him towards him and into a soft kiss.Â
And for the first time in months, the space between them didn't feel unbridgeable. It felt like the start of something new. Something stronger. Unshakeable.Â
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safe space | s.r.
in which Jack Hotchner comes to your classroom after spotting Mr. Scratch on school grounds
margovember
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: flangst content warnings: takes place during early season 12, mr scratch/peter lewis, kindergarten teacher!reader, mom!reader, wife!reader, the spencer reid dilf agenda, nondescript illness, lying to your spouse word count: 1.9k a/n: this just popped into my head while i was watching season 12 AND @lilacsandlavenderhaze has a request in for kindergarten teacher!reader angst AND i wanted to give lia reading material for her train ride so we are killing three birds with one stone
Youâd just turned your monitor off when you heard a knock at your door. Initially, you assumed it was Janet, a member of the custodial staff, coming to see if you had left for the day, but as you approached the door, you didnât see anyone through the small window.
Your footsteps faltered, hesitating to open the door because you werenât sure what youâd find on the other side, you were certainly surprised to find Jack Hotchner standing outside of your door. Frowning, you stepped to the side as he shoved into your classroom, âJack? Whatâs wrong?â
Sometimes, Jack would sit in your classroom while you finished work, and youâd take him home to help out his dad and aunt, but as far as you knew, the BAU was in town, and Hotch didnât need any extra help today. âHeâs here,â Jack said ominously, his tone enough of a warning to prompt you to close your classroom door.
âWhoâs here?â You asked, clicking the door shut and turning back to him. He was nervous, clutching the straps of his backpack like it was a lifeline.
Wide-eyed, Jack peeked out the windows next to your door, âPeter Lewis.â
Instinctively, you locked your classroom door, before standing in front of Jack, âHoney, how do you know who that is?â
He gulped, probably wondering if heâd get in trouble for knowing something he shouldnât have, but in this case, his knowledge might have protected him. âI saw my dadâs files out on the kitchen table, I recognize his face.â
Technically, Peter Lewis wasnât a name you were supposed to recognize, and yet, youâd heard the name from Spencerâs lips countless times in the last year. Even more so since he managed to escape from prison, âWhere did you see him?â
âOutside by the busses,â he told you, following you through your classroom until you made it back to your desk, searching for your cell phone. âAre you gonna call Uncle Spencer?â
You shook your head, scrolling through your contacts until you came across one Aaron Hotchner, âIâm calling your dad.â Blood drained from your face as realization dawned on you, âJack, do you know where Henry is?â
He tapped on your desk anxiously; the fidgeting was the only movement that clued you into his nervousness. Jackâs facial expression was completely stoic, and you wondered, not for the first time, if it was genetic. âHe went home early,â He told you, âHis dad picked him up.â
Nodding to yourself as you clicked the call button on your phone and held it up to your ear, grateful that you didnât need to be a haven for multiple BAU kids. Youâd had both boys as students in kindergarten, but Henry was in second grade and Jack was in fifth now.
âHello?â A familiar voice came in through the phone, instinctively, you reached out a hand and smoothed Jackâs hair back.
You smiled sadly at Jack, you didnât call Hotch often, and when you did, it was seldom good news. âHey, Hotch,â you greeted him, âIâve got Jack here in my classroom, and I think we have a bit of a situation.â
Explaining the events of the afternoon to Hotch, you heard him packing up to leave work on the other lineâthe click of his briefcase, the placement of pens in a mug. âCan you put me on speakerphone?â He asked. Of course, you obliged, letting Jack take the phone in his hands, âHey buddy, you did the right thing by going to Mrs. Reidâs classroom.â
âI saw him in your folders,â Jack said, trying to explain himself.
There was a fine line that needed to be walked when it came to what you all decided to tell your children. In this case, Jackâs snooping might have been what kept him safe. It made your chest ache, and it made you anxious to get home to your own kids. âI know, itâs okay. Iâm gonna leave work and come pick you upâŚâ His voice trailed off for a moment, âCan you give the phone back to Mrs. Reid?â
Jack handed the phone to you, and you smiled softly at him, âHey, why donât you take a seat in one of the bean bag chairs?â You gestured to your classroomâs comfy corner and brought the phone back up to your ear, âHey.â
âWould you mind staying at the school with him? Just until I can get there, I just have to make sure I let Dave know that Iâm leaving,â he informed you.
You swallowed thickly, it was a wonder that you were more nervous than Jack was right now, but maybe that was a blessing in disguise. âYeah, thatâs fine, Hotch. Iâll be here for as long as you guys need,â you assured him, watching as Jack dutifully opened his backpack and pulled out a binder.
Hotch released a sigh of relief, âThank you, Y/N.â
After hanging up the phone, you went over to your snack cabinet and pulled out a package of goldfish crackers, bringing them over to Jack and holding them out for him to take. They were his favorite when he was in your class, and you hoped they still were. Maybe he was just humoring you when he took them gratefully, âDo you want something to drink?â
âJust water is fine,â he answered, focused on the pages on his lap.
You hesitated, âAre you sure?â You wandered over to your desk and opened the small fridge that you stashed beneath it, âI have some yogurt drinks⌠I have apple juice. Does your dad usually let you have juice?â
Holding out the juice box like an offering, you let him see it before he answered, âSometimes.â
âWell, I think heâll forgive me today,â you admitted, acknowledging the extenuating circumstances. You kept the juice boxes in your classroom in case of a low blood sugar, but you worried about giving him too much sugar without his dadâs permission. Then again, Jack could probably handle more sugar than your toddlers could.
He thanks you again, this time for the juice box, and sets it on the small side table with his opened bag of goldfish.
You noticed his drawings in the binder, he was in the process of coloring in a bunch of spaceships, but it wasnât his precise coloring that you took note of, it was the fact that he was coloring in lines that he had drawn himself. Quickly, you texted your nanny to let her know that youâd be a little late getting home before sitting down in the bean bag next to him. âThose are really well done, Jack.â
âThanks,â he murmured, focused on getting the straw into his juice box.
Deciding to try again, you wiped your clammy palms on your skirt, âIs that what you want to do when you grow up?â You asked him, peeking over at the papers again, âDesign spaceships.â
Jack shrugged in response as he took a sip from his juice, âIâm not sure.â
Nodding in understanding, you let him sit and continue his drawing, smiling when he periodically snacked on a goldfish. You wondered if Hotch had the same fear as you. That one day, one of your kids would come up to you and proclaim that they wanted to be an FBI agent just like their dad. You wanted the best for your kids, and you wanted them to follow their own dreams, but not at the cost that the FBI took.
You both startled when a knock came at your door, you gently touched the side of Jackâs chair, âItâs probably just your dad,â you reassured him, âIâll go look.â
Setting down your snack, you warily approached your classroom door, releasing a sigh of relief when you saw Hotch on the other side. âHey,â you said, opening the door for him, âJack, heâs here.â
He started shoving his things in his backpack, minding his juice and snack on the table as he tossed the bag over his shoulders. âHi, dad,â he greeted.
âHey, bud,â Hotch greeted with a small wave before he turned to you, âI didnât say anything to anyone before I left, and I was wondering if you could refrain from mentioning anything to Reid.â
You shifted uncomfortably on your feet, âI donât keep secrets from my husband, Hotch,â you told him, shrugging slightly as you did.
Hotch nodded, âCould you just⌠delay it by a day, then? Just until Iâm able to sort some things out.â
Meeting his gaze, you recognized the fear in them; it was the same fear you saw in Spencerâs eyes every time an UnSub got a little too close to the team. The look you saw when you and the kids were put into protective custody. With that in mind, your head bobbed, âSure thing, Hotch.â
A day, you could do a day, you assured yourself as the three of you said your goodbyes, leaving you to relock your door and return to your desk. You took a seat, resting your chin in your hands as you eyed a photo on your desk. It was from last Christmas when you and Spencer took the kids to meet Santa. They were all grinning at the camera, even your youngest, who usually bore a scowl.
Closing your eyes, you tried to convince yourself to get up and head home when your phone started ringing. You sighed at the sight of the Caller ID: Spencer.
Swiping the screen, you brought it up to your ear, âHi, honey.â
âHey, whatâs wrong?â He asked you immediately, âYou sound upset.â
You sniffled, âNo, itâs fine. I justâŚâ you searched your mind for a fib, âThereâs something going around the school. A stomach bug or something.â
In the background of the call, you heard the dinging of elevators, familiar BAU sounds, âYeah, it sounds like Henryâs picked something up, so JJâs headed home early. Iâm worried Jack mightâve gotten it too, Hotch left in kind of a hurry not too long ago.â
Chewing on the inside of your lip, you nodded to yourself, âUh, yeah. Iâm just about to head home myself.â
âWell, with the team down two, Rossi decided we should just call it a day, so Iâm actually on my way out too,â he told you. âI was wondering if you wanted to try to take the kids to that new playground out by Falls Church, but if youâre not feeling well, I can just take them and let you rest.â
You laughed weakly, more at the situation than anything, âIâd love to, and the kids will like it too.â At the very least, theyâd sleep well tonight after playing their energy away.
He hummed over the phone, âPerfect, Iâll see you when I get home?â He asked, acknowledging that you had a shorter commute than him and would likely beat him home.
âYeah,â you confirmed, standing up and gathering your things with your phone wedged between your shoulder and cheek. âHey, Spence?â
âYes, lovely?â He chirped in response, clearly in a much better mood than you.
You sighed, âI love you.â
He was silent for a moment, âAre you sure youâre alright? Is something wrong?â
Shaking his head even though he couldnât see, you answered, âI just really, really love you.â
âWell,â he responded, his grin apparent in his tone, âI really, really love you too.â
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds angst#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fluff#written by margot#kindergarten teacher!reader
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Sleep well, amour.
Parings: Alastor x reader
Summary: Youâve been very intrested in Alastor ever since you met him. He invites you to see his recording studio, which you accept. Then you ask if you can stay and listen to him host! While listening, you fall asleep. How does he react?
Word count: 2844
Warnings: Ummm not really much? Alastor being Alastor! One mention of not being able to sleep sometimes, mention of seeing people in hell doing dr*gs, k*lling eachother, and fighting, mention of reader having bad social skills (?)
part two
A/N: UM!! this is my first time writing for alastor, so apologies if it isnât the best. Please give me any feedback you want, Iâd love to hear it! Also sorry for any spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy :â)
Alastor the radio demon. You know of the things heâs done, you know that people are quite literally terrified of him. But for some reason... you feel a certain way towards him that you canât describe, but itâs surely not fear.
Youâve had a some-what odd admiration of him since you landed in hell, only a few months ago. You got spotted by Charlie when you first got to hell. She noticed you looking around nervously and lost, and put two and two together that you must be new. She very kindly introduced herself which was refreshing because.. well.. itâs hell. Everywhere you looked people were fighting, doing drugs, and even killing each other. You were glad there were kind people even down here.
âHi, you! Uh, you lost?â Charlie smiled you and waved.
âUm yeah! Iâm guessing this is hell, huh?â You awkwardly chuckle. Social skills werenât ever your thing, it seems they havenât got better after you died, either.
âYep! This is hell! You must be new? Iâm Charlie! Charlie Morningstar. Itâs so nice to meet you.â She smiled and stuck out her hand for you to shake.
âNice to meet you, Charlie! My names Y/n.â You politely smiled back and shook her hand.
After that meeting, Charlie showed you to the hotel in which you eagerly accepted to stay at, her being the only sane thing youâve seen down here. It was a pretty nice place, no 5 star hotel like back on earth, but it was something youâre very grateful for. Who knows what wouldâve happened to you if you havenât met her.
While she was showing you around, someone caught your eye. He was a tall man, very polite and respectful looking. He was dressed head to toe in old fashioned attire, with a cane to suit his charming look. He was smiling in a way that made you look at him like he was something you wanted to inspect under a magnifying glass.
He glanced at you and smiled larger, stepping over to you and Charlie.
âMy, my! What do we have here? Charlie! You didnât tell me that weâve got more guests? Itâs a pleasure to meet you, my dear! The names Alastor!â He spoke politely.
His voice was sort of.. Radio-like? You found it soothing.
âHaha yeah! I found them wandering around on the street this morning! Theyâre a newcomer, their name is Y/n.â She spoke back, excited to introduce you.
âY/n! Well, my, my. Thatâs quite a lovely name!â He said. âSay.. do you listen to radio? I host a brilliant radio broadcast thatâll give you some real insight on this place!â He said enthusiastically.
âOh.. haha thank youâ You smile. âI do actually! I love radio shows.â You immediately feel drawn towads him. You cant tell if itâs just the new scenery or what.. but you want to just sit and chat with him for hours.
Alastor perks up at that. âOh you do, do you?â He smiled more.
âYeah! Back when I was.. uhm.. alive, I actually had a whole playlist of them! What do you do your show about?â You ask.
Alastor is delighted to have you take interest in his show. âWell, dear, I do all sorts of things on there! Yes, yes, you think of it and Iâve most probably done it! Most commonly known is the souls I entrap and prison, as I broadcast their screams of horror all over this horrible place and people get to hear the noises of their never-ending torture and demise. But! I also just made a wonderful segment on my motherâs Jambalaya recipe!â He stated.
While part of those sentences gave you chills, you still seemed to take interest in him.
âWell,â you chuckle. âI will certainly check it out!â You smile.
âAh! Wonderful news, my dear.â He said while he twirled his cane.
Charlie was watching you interact with him and noticed how you looked at him, as if admiring. She smile and said, âwell! We better finish the tour.â
She motions for you to follow her and you do, waving Alastor goodbye.
He waves back and yells, âgoodbye, sweetheart! Lovely to have met you.â
After that, you wanted absolutely everything to do with him. Youâve also got to know the other people staying at the hotel. Angel, Vaggie, Husk, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. They were overall kind people. Husk found your interest in Alastor to be no good.
âYeah, no. That, whatever thing you have created in your mind about him, isnât true. Heâs vile, Y/n. Trust me on that.â He grunts.
Angel thought you had some kind of kink towards âscary, creepy men.â Which wasnât true because you didnât even find him scary. You found him charming.
âAh.. Alastor? Fucking sexy weirdo if I do say so myself. Heâs got some reaaal problems but hey, if youâre into that-â You cut him off by saying it wasnât like that & that you donât think anything sexual towards him.
One day, you were talking to Sir Pentious about his âcrushâ on Cherry Bomb. He completely denied it but you could tell from his blush and his nervous demeanour that he was very interested in her.
You were caught off guard when you heard that radio voice coming up from behind you.
âY/n, my dear! I have a question for you.â Alastor came and stood beside you, looking down from where youâre sitting.
âAl! Hey, whatâs up?â You ask, containing your excitement.
Sir Pentious excused himself quickly, seeing one of his âegg boysâ were being played with by Niffty. She isnât one to be gentle.
âSo, I know how youâve been listening to my radio show as of late, and I was wondering if youâd like to see where the magic happens!â He states.
âR-really? Iâd be honoured!â You say, smiling.
âAh! Lovely. Come now, this way.â
You get up and he locks arms with you and chats about his new microphone that he got.
Once you guys arrive, youâre shocked. It looks very professional and comfortable. It suits him heavily. Thereâs a big open window, a desk, some chairs and sofas, a bunch of technical stuff on the desk along with his new mic that you recognize from his descriptions, and a deer coat hanger?
âWow, Alastor. This place is so actually so sick. I love it. And the new microphone suits you!â You say. âThank you for showing me, really.â
Typically, Alastor would never show someone something personal of his, including his studio, but you are an exception. He isnât sure what it is about you but he doesnât seem to hate you as much as he does with anyone else. At first he was weirded out, but now he just embraces it. He also feels protective of you. He doesnât know exactly why youâre even down here. For as far is he can tell, youâre an angel. Always being kind even to those who arenât kind to you, always saying âpleaseâ and âthank you,â all that jazz. Jazz! You even like jazz music, his favourite. He told you that he lived on earth the time jazz music was popular. The 20âs and 30âs. That explains his vocabulary and how he dresses. You just find it more interesting and take time to ask questions about what it was like in that time.
âWhy of course, my dear! If Iâd want to show anyone here, it would be you.â He says, giving you his iconic smile.
You have a thought. âHey, Al? Would it be alright if the next time you do a show, I could stay and listen?â
You hope he doesnât think this is odd.
Alastor raises a brow. âWhy would you want to do that?â He asks.
You panic, thinking you went too far by asking and now heâs going to cut you off or something.
âHa! Kidding, sweetheart! Of course you can. I love when my broadcast is wanted to be listened to. Though I love it as well when they donât want to.â He says.
Youâre relieved, a bit scared, but still relieved.
âSay!â He says. âI was going to make one tonight talking about this silly technology box that thinks he is better than me! You know, expose all his lies and secrets to my listeners, and unwilling listeners. Maybe broadcast it all throughout hell!â He starts laughing manically. Then calms down and stares at you.
âWould you want to stay and listen, hm? I can do it now! I didnât have any plans today going forward and well, getting it out sooner is better than later, I always say.â He asks.
You know heâs talking about Vox when he mentioned the technology box. Him and Vox have a sort of rivalry going on. Though Alastor seems to not care much about him, Vox is sure obsessed. Heâs even gone so far as to making posters about him. Which areee.. not much of a resemblance.
This offer strikes you and you immediately perk up. âYes! Iâd love to.â You say.
You donât think Alastor knows this but whenever youâre struggling to sleep, you put on his radio show and his voice comforts you to sleep. Youâre sure if you told him, he would find it weird.
Little did you know, Alastor already knew. He walked past your room one night and heard static sounds coming from your quarters. He immediately was intrigued and put his ear close to your door to hear his voice. He was surprised, but not weirded out. He found it delightful that you found comfort in his voice. Itâs not everyday someone does. Usually it invokes terror and anxiety on anyone who hears. This was new, and he didnât hate it.
âLovely! Let me get all set up. You can sit wherever you feel the most comfortable!â He says, adjusting his mic and pressing a buttons on his table.
You find a spot and sit down. Feeling honored to even be in the same room as him, let alone HIS room.
âAhem! Welcome ladies and gentlemen-â He goes off into his introduction, before winking at you and starting.
After about 20 minutes, you begin to feel tired and put your head on the side of the wall, still listening but with your eyes closed.
Alastor immediately notices and smirks, knowing how his voice effects you. He continues on and after about another 20 minutes, he finishes up. Youâre asleep, slightly smiling.
He walks over to you and looks down.
âMy, my. You really are an interesting one, arenât you?â He whispers. He smiles more softly than he usually does and looks around to find a purple blanket hanging on his deer coat hanger, and gently places it on you.
He feels his heart fluttering while looking down at you and he immediately shrugs it off.
âMm well, my dear.. I guess you can stay here. Iâll just be over there, transferring my broadcast to the other radios around town.â He says and points to his table.
âSleep well, amour.â He speaks softly.
#:alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#alastor the radio demon x reader#the radio demon x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader hazbin hotel#hes so pookie bear guys UGUHG#i love him sm#my works#alastor imagine#hazbin hotel imagine#alastor x you
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Breaking point
⌠Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes/Fem!Reader
⌠Word count: ~2,5k
⌠Rating: Explicit
⌠Warnings/tags: Dub-con (proceed with caution if this might trigger you), pwp, smut and a bit of fluff at the end, possessive/protective!bucky, degredation (slut, fuck doll, cum-bucket), grinding, choking, spitting, pussy slapping, fingering, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, pet name (sweetheart).
⌠Summary: Bucky is done with you going out with losers.
⌠Note: This used to be called I will kill them if they touch you but I never liked that title so I renamed it! Also, you guys didn't know what you were voting for, but it was the banner for this story! Please reblog and comment! Asks are always welcome đ
Masterlist | AO3
"Please don't scare this one away as you did last time," you beg and look at Bucky's reflection in the bathroom mirror. He makes a face where he's leaning against the door frame behind you and then sighs when you give him a look. "He wasn't worth shit if he didn't wanna fight for you," he points out.
Now it's your turn to sigh and you cross your arms, glaring at him. "He isn't supposed to fight for me on a first date. We're supposed to have a good time and hopefully fuck." Bucky's mouth hardens, and he looks away. He doesnât like that, at all.
Ever since you became roommates he's been very protective of you, helping you with the smallest things, driving you everywhere you need to go, even if you can drive yourself. Sometimes it's overbearing but most of the time it's nice to have someone care for you like that.
Unfortunately, recently he's picked up a habit of intimidating the people you go on dates with. He stands behind you when they come to pick you up, and his large frame and cold stare make many of them cower. A few have turned around right away, others have asked if that's your boyfriend or something, thinking it was some type of open relationship/cuckold situation.
"Don't say shit like that," Bucky says through gritted teeth. "I don't wanna think about you fucking other people." You can't help the teasing smile that cracks your face. "Makes you jealous?" With a huff, Bucky pushes off and leaves you to continue.
Two hours later your makeup is done and your hair fixed to perfection. You sit on the couch in shorts and a t-shirt, with a glass of wine, waiting until the last minute to put on the skin-tight dress. While scrolling on your phone, Bucky sits beside you with a beer. "So where's the loser taking you?" "Don't care,â you shrug. âHonestly, my priority tonight is to get laid. The previous ones were a little too⌠bland. But he seems promising." "What do you mean, bland?"
Putting your phone down you look at him, "You don't wanna hear this anyway, you'll just get mad," you point out. "I don't get mad," he defends. "Pfff, you're such a liar, I can see it in your eyes whenever I mention another guy." "Because you deserve the best and all I've seen is trash."
Irritated, you put your glass down too. "Why don't you pick for me then? Who would James Bucky Barnes deem worthy of fucking me?"
The grip on his beer is so hard his knuckles whiten and his lips are a thin line. When he doesn't answer you lean back and start to count people off.
"Well, Steve seems a bit too sweet for my taste but I mean I would not mind trying a slice of that all-American beefcake," you muse. "Sam is so charming and funny! That quick tongue would probably work wonders, if you know what I mean," you wink and watch as Bucky's eye twitch, his jaw clenched hard.
"Tony," you continue. "Well, he seems a little self-absorbed but maybe he's a really selfless lover. Won't hurt to check!" "Loki is so handsome," you bite your lip. "I would surrender my body to him in a heartbeat! But I've heard that he leaves people high and dry and that would be awful."
Tilting your head, you say, "Do you think Thor and Jane would be up for a threesome? I can just imagine eating her out while he fucks me from behind and then we could-"
With a slam he puts the bottle on the table and grabs your face with his hand forcefully, silencing your tirade of words and squeezing your cheeks so that your lips pucker.
The grip is close to bruising and it's an instant pull in your lower stomach. His eyes are black with anger, something you've never seen directed at you before. "No one," he hisses. "Not one of them is fucking you, I will kill them if they touch you."
His hand releases you and grabs your neck instead. You're shocked, and instantly so horny it hurts. Opening your mouth to speak he squeezes harder, making a wheezing sound come out.
"I'll give you a chance to stop this. Tell me right now you don't want this and we'll act as if nothing happened. Otherwise, I'm fucking you into this couch until you can't remember your goddamn name." When he finishes his grip lightens. The rush of blood makes you euphoric and boneless. You want to give yourself to him, let him do whatever he wants. "Fuck me," you whisper.
The kiss is more teeth than lips and the hold around your throat hardens again. You try to keep up with him but it's impossible as he pushes his tongue into your mouth, claiming every inch, making you lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. You gasp for air as he pulls away, releasing you. His gaze is brimming with lust and want now, all signs of anger gone. Then he pushes you down onto the couch.
"You're a kinky little slut, aren't you sweetheart?" he mocks and leans in over you, spreading your legs with his. All you can do is nod and try to wiggle close so you can press your center against his clothed cock. It's clearly outlined in his sweatpants and you hope it's as big as it seems. "If I put my hand down your pants, are you gonna be wet for me?" "Yes Bucky," you whine.
The throbbing is almost unbearable and his smirk is downright sinful. "Come on, rub yourself on me, show me how much you want it." With another whine, you brace yourself against the couch and lift your hips. He doesn't move a muscle to help as you struggle to find the right position.
"That's disappointing," Bucky smacks his lips and frowns. "Thought you wanted this." "I do Bucky, I do, please I'm trying," you tell him desperately. With effort, you get into a good enough position to grind your cunt on his cock through the layers of clothing. It's not nearly enough to curb the ache.
"Useless," Bucky sighs and grabs your legs. "Do I have to do everything?" He pushes your knees up towards your chest, folding you in half and pushing his cock right into your core.
"Sorry," you moan. His mean words have only made you needier and you move yourself against him with abandon. Bucky is motionless above you, not making a sound or saying a word, just staring at you chasing your high. Your movements turn unsteady when you start to come close.
If you were of sound mind you would notice the glint in his eyes but instead, youâre barreling towards your climax. Until he suddenly moves away.
Gawking you stare at him and he just smiles wickedly in return. "Take off your clothes, spread your legs" he instructs and you quickly pull your pants off and discard your t-shirt and underwear, spreading your legs as best you can on the couch. Bucky takes in your bare body, moving his hands slowly down your thighs until his palms frame your pussy.
"Fucking shaved for him too,â he notes with a snarl. You're not sure why that upset him. "Sorry!" you say, just to be safe.
"I don't need your hair curled, your make-up done or your whole body shaved. I will fuck you anyway, sweetheart, no matter what you look like because you belong to me," he growls before he spits on your cunt, sending a rush through you, making you moan and spread your legs even more.
For the first time, he touches you properly, letting his fingers spread the spit all over your pussy before shoving two of them into your soaked core. He pistons them in and out, putting his thumb against your clit and making colors burst before you.
"You want to come on my fingers, you fucking slut?" When you nod frantically he instructs, "Open your mouth, stick out your tongue." A second after you do spit lands on your tongue and droplets on your face. It nearly tips you over.
"Swallow it," he orders and watches you as you do, some form of approval shining in his eyes for the first time. "Who do you belong to?"
The question is too complicated to understand, you can't focus on what he wants. "I don'tâŚ" is all that comes out.
"Wrong answer," he says and removes his fingers, making you shout in disappointment. Sharp slaps land on your wet cunt and you instinctively try to move away from it, but he grabs your legs, pulling you back. "Don't you fucking run from me."
"I'm sorry," you cry, looking pleadingly at him. "I'm- I'm yours James, yours to do what you want with. Please, please, please let me come!"
With a huff he pushes his fingers back in, pressing the tips into your g-spot and getting his thumb back on your clit. His unbothered state makes you feel so small and insignificant, heightening the pleasure coursing through you.
As it climbs, your body shakes, your legs trembling from being held open. "I'm- I'm- don't stop!" you beg. Closing your eyes you focus on the feeling of him, his other hand still gripping your thigh hard. You hope it bruises.
"I can feel you, slut!" Bucky's voice is the cherry on top of everything. "Come on my fingers, do it, come for me!" he commands and of course, you do as he wants. With a scream you convulse, almost pushing him out with the sensation flooding you. Bucky is talking above you but you're not sure what he's saying because all you can hear is the blood rushing in your ears.
A hard tap against your cheek makes you open your eyes. "Don't pass out on me, I'm not done with you yet." "Wouldn't dream of it," you smile dumbly, and it earns you a smile in return. But it quickly passes as he pulls off his tank top and pushes down his pants. The cock is just as big as you hoped.
He rubs the head against your soaked center, sending overwhelming sparks through you, making you twitch. When he notches the head of his dick at your opening your blood freezes. "C-condom?" you stutter.
Cocking his head he asks. "Do you really want that? Doesn't a slut like you want to be filled up with cum?" "Y-yes, but, BuckyâŚ" you gnaw your lip.
"I want to fuck my little cum-bucket raw, make sure you feel me running out of you for days," he gives a light thrust, almost pushing inside, giving you a taste of heaven. For a second you look at each other and Bucky presses in just a little bit more. It decides it for you. "Please fill me with your cum Bucky, I need it so bad!" you whine and he chuckles before shoving his fat cock into you without mercy.
Quickly you wrap your legs around his hips, meeting his hard thrusts that are sending your body into overdrive. "Feel so fucking good sweetheart, your cunt was made for me, wasn't it?" he groans. "Yes it was," you answer breathlessly.
He grabs your face. "Those other losers are never going to satisfy you." "No, Bucky, only you!" "That's right, you're my fuckdoll now, sweetheart," he says before he leans down to kiss you. It's much sweeter this time and you grab his head, carding your fingers through his hair, feeling your chest fill with another type of warmth.
When he pulls back he says, "Beg me not to come in you." Your cunt clenches and your second orgasm is suddenly a lot closer. "Bucky, please don't⌠I can't get pregnant," you make your voice small and frail.
In response his laugh is cruel. "Yes you will, your purpose in life is to be bred. I'm going to cum in you every day til it sticks and then everyone will know who you belong to." "Please, pull out," you beg and reach down to rub your clit, feeling the climax shimmering underneath your skin.
"Such a bad liar, sweetheart," he chuckles. "Are you going to come on my cock? Are you gonna claim me just as I claim you?" "Yes! I just need- harder!" you pant. "Fucking hell," Bucky grunts and does as you demand.
The climax rips through you with little regard for your sanity. The sound leaving your throat makes it raw and a second later Bucky moans your name loud enough for the neighbors to hear. It's almost good enough to feel him finish inside you that you come again, but youâre too spent to do more than shudder.
Then he kisses you again, sweetly, caringly, and pushes his arms in under your body to hug you close to him. "So perfect," he whispers against your mouth. The cums start to trickle out onto the couch but neither of you care, too caught up in each other's lips.
"How are you doing sweetheart?" he asks when he comes up for a breath. "I feel a little high," you confess. "Haven't been fucked that good in a long time."
There is something in his gaze that shifts and he leans his forehead against yours. "I'm sorry. I just⌠I couldn't take it anymore⌠I like you so much." "Lucky for you I get off on that stuff," you smile. "And if I had said stop I trust you would have."
He hugs you so hard you can hardly breathe. "Of course, I fucking would." "You can make it up to me by going tender the next time," you smile. "Next time?" "As many times as youâll have me." He laughs into your skin. "I don't think you're ready for that!"
Suddenly the sound of the doorbell jerks the two of you apart. You stare at Bucky with wide eyes. "My date," you whisper, horrified.
With a smirk, he raises himself on his arms. "I should make you go on that date with my cum running out of you, maybe even let him get as far as spreading your legs just to see that youâre already claimed."
With a groan, you cover your face with your hands. "Don't tempt me," you tell him before wiggling out from under him, finding your clothes, and hastily pulling them on.
Opening the door just a crack, you understand you look a mess by the way your date eyes you. "Sorry," your voice is small. "I wasn't feeling great and then I fell asleep on the couch." "Yeah, you look terrible," the guy notes before handing you one of the ugliest bouquets you've ever seen. Quickly stepping away he says, "I'll call you." but you know he won't. "Great, I'll see you around," you respond before closing the door.
Bucky takes the flowers from you and shoves them in the trash before grabbing you around the waist and kissing you again. "Didn't you say he was promising?" "I have no clue what you're talking about," you answer with a completely straight face but then start to giggle as he swoops you up and carries you to his bedroom.
#veltana writes#bucky barnes#bucky smut#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#posessive!bucky barnes#bucky x reader#possessive!bucky#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky fic#bucky fanfic
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Company Cam-Girl <3
Tags: Gang-bang [Toji, Sukuna, Gojo and Suguru]; Use of toys [vibrator]; slight-bondage; size-kink; camera; public-exposure; nsfw + more nsfw; porn with slight plot; manhandling; unprotected sex; spanking; over-stimulation; cream pie; c*mplay; rough sex; lot's and lot's of very dirty talk; explicit; MNDI!; (18+); smut
A/n: This is probably the most explicit thing I might have written; my hazy imagination is getting too much. This period is killing me so it's just pure filth, this is pure porn with a little plot so MDNI!
Synopsis: What happens when a slight back talk results in getting railed and over stimulated like crazy by 4 big men in the sex-toy company?
Word count: 2.6k
[Pic not mine I randomly found it on the internet; I'll change it the owner requests ]
Your heels clicked on the floor as you walked, the place you worked was- explicit to say the least. You would have never expected to work in a company like this when you graduated- literally; a sex toy manufacturing company? beyond your wildest dreams
You were working here all because of pure desperation. Broke with college debts does not make life easy. The position gave good pay, insurance, good bonus, what else could you ask for? hence you continued working.
You worked in the marketing department which was a headache as it sometimes made you wonder how to advertise certain devices.
"Y/n- the manager is calling you to discuss the latest high-intensity vibrator ad!", one of your colleagues yelled giving you the papers and walking away
You looked at the paper which outlined the build, the components, the types of intensity, movements, etc normal people would look away and even be embarrassed but- after a while, it became average to you like another Tuesday.
"Alright, tell him I'll be there, " you yelled, browsing the pages as you entered the office.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
"This design is so outdated⌠we need a new design-", Suguru muttered as he sat at his desk scrolling annoyed, the cigarette hanging off his lips
Toji clicked his tongue as he leaned back on his chair, "Damn if only we could experiment it on someone and record everything down", his deep voice sent a shiver down your spine
"I could always get a hook-up to try it out~", Gojo muttered with a smirk, "I don't mind"
"You fools", Sukuna scorned, "A hook-up won't give accurate data- her fucking brain will just be mushy, ask any questions-", he rolled his eyes, "her replies will just be fucking moans"
"Don't any of you have a girlfriend or somethin'?", Toji groaned as he grabbed his beer bottle, drowning it down, "You can get her and we can experiment"
"Nah- I asked my ex once she nearly threw a god-damn vase at my face", chuckling Gojo scrolled through his phone
"Ah, shit-"
With a groan, they collectively sighed. The atmosphere in the room was tense- after all, they were your superiors, you were just a mere girl from the PR department
"um- excuse me", clenching the papers tight you looked at them all, "T-The documents have an error-", you tried to keep your voice stable
"Oh shut up woman", Sukuna glared as he walked towards you, "Can't you read the room? or are you senseless?"
"Huh-?", rage-filled your veins, you were already annoyed with overwork- been working so hard not to let it get to you but this- this was the last straw.
"You are the senseless one!", you snapped back, "You assholes can't even design a vibrator properly! Look at you discussing this shit!", you scorned and shoved the paper on Sukunas face as you glared at the others
"What did you just say you fucking bitch-", Sukuna grabbed your jaw pinning you against the wall
"You deaf?", glaring into his eyes you scoffed, "I said you assholes cannot even design a fucking vibrator"
"Yo, calm down", Gojo yelled as he made his way towards you and Sukuna
"Fuck off-", his grip on you tightened choking you
"What a pain in the ass", Toji grabbed Sukuna with Suguru and pulled him back
"Tch", groaning he let go of you while Gojo picked up the fallen papers
"You alright?", Sugurus eyes locked with yours- something about his cold black eyes- gave you goosebumps all over your skin
"Y-Yeah" Gasping for air you coughed as you looked at Sukuna who was starting to calm down more
"You said we can't design a vibrator, right?" Toji smirked with a dangerous glint in his eyes
"Y-Yeah..", You backed away afraid. Something about his expression makes you instinctively back away as if your body subconsciously tried to protect itself
"Why not be our test subject? we lacked one anyways~", with a sneer he leaned in. The atmosphere in the room changed as all eyes were on you.
"Your fool brain finally came up with a good idea", grinning Sukuna fixed his blazer, "What do you say woman? or are you too scared?"
"W-What!? no way never!", you immediately shook your head shaking it crazily
"Awwww come on~ it'll be fun I promise!", Gojo nudged you wrapping his arm around your shoulder
"No way!", slapping his hand away you glared
"See you said we can't design good vibrators", putting out the cigarette in his mouth Suguru shrugged, "Have you ever even used one of our vibrators to know if it's bad? ever cummed dripping wet?"
You blushed hard, "W-what explicit nonsense are you even saying!?", shoving the papers on his face you scowled
"Oh~ is someone scared?" smugly Sukuna leaned in and whispered near your ears, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine
"N-No I'm not! It's just a vibrator!", shoving him away you tried to push the men away
"Great!", standing behind you Gojo wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you close, "I'll even let you try out my new designs baby~"
"Hey! Bun-head, grab the newest vibrators and bring them here", Sukuna yelled, "We found a pussy to try it on!" he chuckled deviously
"What-!?" before you could say anything Toji cut you off, "Bring some lube too, I just know she's tight as fuck", smirking he looked into your eyes
"Alright, alright- I'll even bring a camera to record it. Need the data", with this- Suguru went to get all the items whistling
All while you stood stunned- how did you even end up like this? How did a small comeback develop to- well- this?!
"You did it to yourself, baby girl, ~ if only you hadn't opened that darn mouth of yours", with a chuckle Gojo whispered near your ears
"oh well, I'll look after you well~"
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
"Is the Pussy visible?" Gojo leaned in as he looked at the screen of the camera
"Yeah, just gotta zoom in more", Suguru adjusted the camera, the RBG ratio, etc as he zoomed in
With your legs spread apart on Sukunas desk- your panties are removed as your cunt's all visible in the camera. Rather than an office it looked like a porn production set.
"HmâŚshe's tight", Toji looked at your cunt, "I wonder when's the last time she got fucked", Sukuna muttered
"Shut up!? what the fuck do you think you are even saying-", embarrassed you looked at both of them annoyed, "Just by looking at my- my pussy you think you can say such things?"
"Doll, I have seen enough to know what pussy has not been fucked and how well it was fucked", chuckling Sukuna smirked
Hearing Sukuna's comment Toji, Gojo and Suguru snickered
"Damn right", smiling smugly Suguru stood up and walked towards you
"You-", too stunned to speak you just lower your head, "How can they say such things!?" you think as you take a sharp breath blushing; almost embarrassed with the explicitness but it was low-key hot.
You hated to admit it but you were aroused as fuck. The cool air brushed against your cunt making the walls quiver, 4 hot guys gazing at you as they discuss what's the best way to record your pussy holding vibrators in the office. It made you get even more wet with your cunt oozing out and dripping, making a mess on Sukuna's desk.
"Look she's already dripping and making a mess how cute~ how needy", Gojo chuckled
"Well can't leave her like this can we?" with a smirk rolling up his sleeves Sukuna started circling his fingers around your clitoris- flicking it a bit making you gasp
"W-wait!" trying to stabilize yourself at the sudden wave of pleasure you try to focus elsewhere, your hands and body trembled at the way he abused your clitoris
"Where's your mind goin'?" Toji cups your breasts and starts kneading them, pinching and flicking the nipples making you squirm and moan
"T-Toji wait ah-" your eyes widen as your feel Sukunas fingers do deeper stretching you out ruthlessly, "She's tight- Fuck", he gritted his teeth
Tossing your head back you try to cover your mouth but it was instantly pulled away by Toji, "Can't have you cover your mouth now can we sweetheart?", smugly he pulled your shirt up and tied your hands with it
"Nice boobs you got here", Gojo brushed his hand against your breasts, fondling them, "I wonder how hard the nipples can get heh~", smirking he brought his lips closer to your nipples and started sucking on them making you moan even louder, "Gojo- ah! 'tis too much wait-!" earning only a chuckle from him as he sucked even harder biting it
"The Vibrator No 1 is ready~ let's see how well you take it darling", smirking Suguru stood beside Sukuna- turning the vibrator on and putting it down on your cunt grinding it, the movements so good you felt you were on cloud 9; while Sukuna continued to move his fingers deeper stretching you out.
"Smile for the camera doll", smirking Sukuna slapped your pussy which stinged a bit but also made you so fucking wet it was embarrassing
The intense stimulation from the vibrator immediately made you arch your back, toss your head back and let out the loudest moans you could muster, it was stimulating- too stimulating.
It was too much- your poor pussy could not stand so much abuse. It was all puffy, sobbing wet, begging for mercy as it dripped and oozed pre-cum. Tears stained your cheeks as you whined and moaned
Your breasts were off even worse, the biting and sucking of Gojo had swollen your nipples so much. The bite marks covering your breasts stung but also gave you so much pleasure wanting more
"Fuck- who knew we had such a natural cam-girl?", licking his lips Toji just watched your expressions hungrily wanting to devour you
"I know right? Should have fucked her and filled her up first", chuckling Suguru increased the intensity of the vibrator to it's highest limit making you gasp and moan, squirm all at once, "Let's see how loud she can scream eh?"
"Oh my God! it's too much ah-" tossing your head back you squeezed your thighs shut as your eyes rolled back and you climaxed instantly because of the intensity
"Stay still, how bratty", slapping your thighs Sukuna spread your legs open forcefully holding them down, his fingers covered in your release, "Heh- who said the vibrator was bad huh? look at the amount of cum", smirking he licked it off his fingers making you blush harder and be even wetter.
"D-Don't-!" you frantically tried to wipe your cum off his fingers too bad Toji held your arms down all tied up
"I wanna taste some too~", licking his lips smugly Gojo with a quick movement shoved his fingers inside your cunt and licked it
"How sweet I can eat her out forever~ Try some Suguru"
"Oh don't mind if I do~"
Seeing them taste your cum from their fingers made you almost lose your mind and your brain felt mushy. The camera still recording everything that they were doing to you. It was so crazy
"Hah- finally stretched out, what a good fucking pussy", Sukuna smirked satisfied
"We can finally put the vibrator in~ shall we put two?", Gojo chuckled as he gazed at your cunt
"I think she can take it~" smugly Toji looked you in the eyes, "She's such a good girl after all. Aren't you baby?"
"Well" with a sneer Suguru finally put the vibrator inside you with the highest intensity, "Let's see what she can do, go at it girl show what you got~"
Hungrily they all gazed at you, their eyes those of starving wolves who wanted to completely devour you, fill you up- breed you so fucking well like the way you deserve. You had no idea what a raging boner they had seeing you and your cunt.
"Oh my god- ah- hah~", moaning you squirm as the vibrator continued to hit all the right spots- making your whole body-shake, your walls clenching so tight- holding on for dear life; "Fuck it's so good!", biting your lips you closed your eyes as you felt your brain going numb.
It felt like it was designed specifically for you, the way it hit your G-spot was driving you mad. It kept pushing you over the edge again and again.
"Shit", biting his lips Sukuna approached you, his hard-on evident, bulging fully, so big it made you wonder if it would even fit.
"Moaning like a whore just from a mere vibrator", unbuckling his pants he removed the vibrator making you sequel and whimper
"Guy's let's give her the best fuck of her life shall we?", smirking he positioned himself to your entrance and slammed in without warning, doing deep, hard and fast thrusts- hitting your G-spot again and again
"Fuck, so good, shit how was I missing out on such good pussy"
The vibrator already broke your brain in the beginning and now feeling Sukuna fuck you, so big- so hard- filling you up so well drove you even more over the edge. Your throat had gone dry from all the moaning
Toji, Gojo and Suguru also unable to keep their hand to themselves any longer; unbuckled their belts with their hard on started jerking off standing beside you, letting out grunts and moans imagining fucking you. Making you suck on their dicks like the good girl you were.
Seeing how big they all were you wondered how your poor cunt will ever be able to take them all inside.
Your vision was going white with all the pleasure as you clenched around Sukuna's dick, squeezing him so tight he tossed his head back pussy drunk just wanting to feel you all around him.
You don't know many hours went by all you know is they all took their turns fucking you- in all positions, filling you up with their cum; praising you and telling how much of a good girl you are, how well you are taking them.
You were fully- completely knocked out and brain fucked. The office fully messy from the desk to the couch and all vibrators gone.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The next moment you wake up, sharp pain shoots up and down your body as you groan.
"Oh look who woke up, our cam-girl", chucking Toji sat beside you while the others crowded around you
That's when everything hit you all at once and you look down finding yourself completely and utterly naked.
"You took us all in so well baby~ my dicks never been more satisfied", Gojo lifted you making you sit on his lap and kissed your neck
"S-Shut up! I need to go!" you blushed hard and tried to stand up but tripped
"What a brat, you really think you can stand? how annoying, you were better brain fucked", Sukuna immediately grabs you supporting you to not fall
"You!-" feeling your blood boil you immediately try to open your mouth to yell all kinds of profanities
"Oh she's awake", Suguru entered the room smirking, "Still naked is she? are we going for another round? Because I am down"
"I'll die if we do another round!?" in panic you look at them all in the eyes earning a chuckle and a light slap on your ass from Sukuna making you whine
"Shut up you aren't going anywhere from today onwards you are our girl"
"Huh!?", you gasp in shock
"Everything we did is recorded", Gojo chuckled grinning, "Suguru even finished processing it darling~ thank you for your-", he tossed a vibrator to you and winked, "lovely data"
You stand utterly stunned knowing there is no way out from this, they'll eat you alive whenever they please. You are officially the company's cam-girl and test-subject.
Congrats on your promotion~ <3
My Masterlist!
#fanfic#jjk#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles#jjk x reader#jjk smut#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#jjk gojo#sukuna ryomen smut#ryomen sukuna#sukuna smut#sukuna jjk#toji smut#toji x reader#fushiguro toji#toji x you#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro smut#geto smut#geto x reader#jjk geto#geto suguru#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu geto#satoru#gojo#jujustu kaisen
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HEART TO HEART â aventurine
premise â â the five times aventurine bares his heart out to you, and the one time it works in his favor (or, in which aventurine says he loves you, in his own little ways.)
a/n â â lovesick aventurine, i repeat super lovesick aventurine this is not half-assed, reader is the same reader from make a bet !!
The first time Aventurine opened up to you, he thinks that you looked like what starlight could be in human form.
He speaks your name like a victory falling upon his lips, a measured weight in its cadence. Aventurine relishes in the way you look alert, placing your attention on him (and him alone), sticking to his side like the faithful subordinate that you are.
He's come to learn that you don't exactly do friendsâyou are the very image of professionalism, never crossing the lines you shouldn't cross; and if heâs not careful, you could disappear at the slightest touch, just like starlight. (Would it kill you to stay just for him?)
âHave I ever told you that you look prettier when you smile?â
You pause from your game, looking up from the chessboard you and your co-worker, boss, and give him a look that one can truly only enjoy if they were either a masochist or someone who enjoyed another's disgust of them. âAbout 25 times now, Aventurine.â
âYou've been counting? I didn't know you loved my praise that much.â
âDoes every word that comes out of your lips lack sense, or is it just me?â
âHaha, it's just you.â
âLucky me.â you roll your eyes. Aventurine's eyes melt, like butter in the sun.
Sometimes he feels the urge to always compliment youâbecause this is the only way for you to keep your eyes on him, to only look at him, and Aventurine has always loved looking at your eyes.
(If he kept looking, would he convey his heart to you?)
You scrunch up your face. Cute. âWhat?â
âNothing.â Fondness bleeds from within him, the Kakavasha of old seeping into the cracks of his hollow shell. Aventurine plays gambles, risks death, yet this feeling of elation is something that triumphed in all of that.
He wonders if you notice; if you know that his honeyed words are genuine, as genuine as a liar like him can be. Aventurine wonders if you can tell that every poke and prod hides the underlying meaning of desperationâthe words he can never bring himself to say because he thinks he's far too unworthy (for you). StillâŚ
âI hope you know that it's true.â Just this once, heâll let you see, just this once. âI mean it. You look prettier when you smile.â
Just this once, Aventurine thinks. Heâll bare his heart to you just this once. It's a gamble, a risk; a gamble he wants to risk.
And indeed, perhaps this is what Gaiathraâs blessing is for.
He sees you bristle like a cat, so waryâbut he sees the flush coating your cheeks, reaching well up to the tips of your ears, and he knows he's won. Checkmate. âThat's such a lame compliment. Is that best you executives can do?â
âMm, wouldn't you like to know?â (To love is such an unpredictable thing.)
Aventurine may be a liar, but Kakavasha isn't, because Kakavasha strung together his remains in hopes of perceiving you.
In hopes of loving you.
â
Aventurine has only three words to describe himself: loser, liar, and murderer.
He can think of other words too, like Sigonian, IPC lapdog, coward, unworthy⌠a plethora of ugly, demeaning, visceral wordsâ it makes his throat bubble with acid, coiling ang churning under the weight of his own existence. Disgusting.
There's another, too. Greedy. He's greedy. Whether as Kakavasha or Aventurine, the hunger to consume all lingers fresh in his mind. The strong takes all, and the weak is left to suffer. It's a need that knows no end, embittering all he cherished, cherishes. Like an iron chain upon his neck. He's greedy for solace, freedom; death, andâ
âAventurine, are you okay?â you.
How truly fortunate he is to behold your expression, when your concern is as slim as the chances of a collision of planets; when the expressive range of your emotions towards him range from either exasperation or irritation.
His smile feels rotten today, unbearably sweet. The smile of a thief. A liar. A Sigonian. âAre you worried about me?â
âYouâŚâ the traces of care don't slip from your expression despite the annoyance that betrays your tone. âBe serious hereâyou haven't been sleeping, have you? What is it? Is Sir Diamond assigning you yet another impossible mission?â
âNo. Nothing of the sort, my friend.â His voice is flat. He doesn't know what's more agonizing. Knowing you care (and always have cared) for him, or knowing that he's making you go through all this trouble just to care for him.
He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. âIt's just a minor upset, don't worry.â
(How could you even care about someone like him? Is this love? Care? How could you look at him like he's worthy of being perceived? He is a liar, a cheat, a coward.)
He doesn't want to be indebted to you. Rather, he doesn't want you to see him; vulnerable, weak. Allowing you to freely enter his study as he's buried under piles of duty bound work just to come across one of the rare times where he's just Kakavashaâalone, weak, and fickle.
(Because as Kakavasha, Aventurine cannot hide his yearning for you, for deceit is unworthy of you; just like he is for you.)
Worst of all, Aventurine feels that if you see him, youâll find out just how ugly he truly is. You'd slip away from him, like starlight. Out of reach; never to be seen again.
(Humans cannot survive without the light. Aventurine is starting to understand why.)
���Then I'll get you something to eat at least, so you can-â
âNo, wait.â He speaks your name like a plea, and you stay. Relief floods through his senses.
Aventurine thinks that perhaps because of the vulnerability he's exposed, you've even become softer. Because why else would you look like that, looking at him like he's worth something? âWhat is it, Aventurine?â
âCan you stay by my side?â There's a crack in his voice that he wishes to hide, but you don't mind anyway. âJust this once.â Please.
A part of him hurts, having to beg. It reminds him all too much of days when the commodity code on his neck defined the crux of his existence; it is all he will be, will continue to be, all he is allowed to be. But Aventurine is no longer Kakavasha; hiding away from the world.
â...Okay.â Aventurineâs heart throbs when he sees your concerned expression. You know better than to ask questions, something he deems both a boon and a bane. âI'll stay. As- As much as you want.â
Why is he just like a fool whenever he's with you?
They say that to covet what must not be coveted is oneâs downfall, and Aventurine is no different. His eyes trail over your form, every inch of the stardust that make you. âThank you. Really.â
Aventurine has only three words to describe him: liar, loser, and murderer. There may be others, but this defines the very tapestry of his lamentable existence, from the moment he was brought forth upon the world; that of which no longer exists, dissolving like the sand of Sigoniaâs deserts.
âDon't thank me, Aventurine. Justâget some rest. I'll be there when you wake up.â
âNn. You're too kind. Should I double that paycheck of yours next month?â
He can hear you scoff, that bit of mirth you let slip reinvigorating him, sustaining him. â....Sweet dreams, Aventurine.â
And if Aventurine strains his mind enough, deludes himself enough; he can hear you say in a voice that's tender, warm; like the warm embrace of his sister, honeyed Avgin spilling from her lips. Brimming with love. Brimming with care.
âMay the Mother Goddess thrice close her eyes for you,â
Aventurine is a Sigonian lapdog, an unfettered gambler. He needs no tears, for there will be none to shed in his victory. He has never lost, and sees no need to shed tears for something that he will never experience. (His hand still shakes, betting on his life.)
âkeeping your blood eternally pulsing.â
He feels your fingers brush against the strands of his hair, taking off his glasses. Aventurine stills. Kakavasha falls, full of love, loving you.
ââŚmay your journey be forever peaceful,â
He watches you, staying by his side; and Aventurine can't help but add another name to define him.
âand your schemes forever concealed.â
A fool. (a lover.)
Two system hours later, Aventurine wakes to the scent of lavender scented candles and a blanket covering his body, with the paperwork neatly handled, your writing scribbled on some of the pages.
Get well soon.
â
Envy is a face Aventurine has long grown accustomed to seeing.
He saw it as Kakavasha; the look others give when they see his eyes, when they look at his profile. As Aventurine, he sees it in the eyes of space traders as they gaze upon his wealth, how the eyes of others fall onto him as he walks past.
Others get consumed by it, others deny it; Aventurine embraces it. He knows the feeling of having nothing and wishing he could have things others can have with little effort.
But the fact that he also wears its mask is ironic, especially given the subject of his envy.
The third time Aventurine bares his heart out to you, it had been an accident.
He shouldn't be jealous, envious of those who get to help you with the IPCâs missions. It is the right, sensible thing to do; because you make him feel illogical, unable to comprehend in the haze of longing.
(Perhaps lovesickness isn't too far off a word.)
This is why you make him break free of his self-imposed apathy at seeing you off. Aventurine checks the file you'd be heading off to, letters in pristine print along with his signature, an indication of his approval. Pier Point. The name besides yours that indicate that you will be travelling together burns him like scalding iron, stinging like a brand upon his skin. Something green and uncomfortable in him roars.
In a sense of uncharacteristic recklessness and perhaps brought upon by his longing; Aventurine ends up seeing you off.
âI'll get going now- AventurineâŚ.?â your words falter when you watch as your co-worker strides toward you, terribly fast. âI thought you weren't coming to see me.â
âI can't have my dearest friend leave without seeing their handsome colleagueâs face.â he says, like a liar. Small mercies to his ability to divert his inner feelingsâand to not think about the fact that seeing you makes his heart throb in an ache no hunger can satiate.
You scoff, and thankfully you don't seem that irritated. If anything, you're in a good mood today. Even let him see the way your head tilts to bite back a smile. âHow fortunate of me then.â
(He is.)
âExtremely.â he calls your name like a wager, seeking an answer. âHow long are you going to be away this time?â
âAlmost a month, maybe. I was told that since the Pier Point Incursion, many of those under your department have been stationed to help sustain the damage.â
â...I see. My well wishes to you then, friend. Seems you've got your work cut out for you.â
He's sulking, and you can't help but laugh. Like a golden retriever. âWhy so glum? Don't tell me you'd miss me.â
And for all his grace at maintaining his carefully crafted mask, Aventurine's whole world stops when he hears the sound. âHow could anyone ever not miss you?â
You pause mid-laugh. Aventurine feels his face heat. He slipped up. Again, because of you. Because you always made him feel as though the universe could stop and end with you; and that this rotten hunger that gnawed at his bones might just be that he cared for you far too much for his own good.
âŚAnd now he felt like he wanted to fall back into a sandpit and hide there forever. âIs that what you think, Aventurine?â
The way you say his name is so intoxicating. It sounds hesitant, seeing through him in an instant.
âMaybe.â He can't look at you right now, or else he'll imagine itâhow could you ever feel the way he feels for you? When you were you and he was⌠him. âI'm afraid I've been too reliant on my closest colleague.â
âThen come with me next time.â you look at him as though he'd break at any moment; tender. There's something else, too. âIf you'd miss me that much.â
You flash him a cheeky, lovely smile, and Aventurine loves, loves, and loves.
How unfair you are, capable of reducing him to bits; bringing him to your light and making his heart set off like fireworks in the night.
For now, he will be Aventurineâhe could never resist such a tempting offer, not when its weight was far more valuable than any treasure of all.
He smiles, business-like in nature, one used to deceive, to lie. But AventurineâKakavasha smiles in fondness, in adoration. âIt would be my pleasure.â
â
Aventurine has always thought that the space in his heart is empty because it was meant to be.
Because he is not worthy of feelingâhe is a tool to be used; every part of him taken away and exploited away by others at their whim. In short, he is his best bargaining chip at any stability in his life.
âAventurine, youâll catch a cold if you keep forgetting to remove your coat.â
But you don't think that way, and it confuses him, to say the least. Like a shooting star, traces of your existence are specks in his life that have become far too important for him to let go.
Whether it be indulging in his whims of poker, allowing him to see the sight of your expressions in embarrassment and resignation, or the subtleties that have led him to believe (at least, he hopes to believe) that you do care.
And each time, Aventurine embeds your name into his heart even further, dreams of you in the far corners of his heart reserved only for the dead he needed to bury. His feelings, his family, and this growing attachment to you that became too difficult to hold back.
Even now, as you hand him a towel and take his wet coat out of the way, Aventurine doesn't know if this is a blessing or a curse. You are always like thisâoverwhelmingly blinding, tethering himself to you without warning with your compassion. âI won't get sick.â
âUh huh.â your eyebrows raise, and you take him inside. âThatâs what all the people who get sick after being soaked in the rain say.â
âWell, aren't you just charming.â
âThanks, I'm told it's one of my defining qualities.â
He laughs, genuine. You're probably the only one to be able to bring out this part of him. âSuch an angel you are.â
âYes, yes, very much.â You smile with faux sweetness, though Aventurine's heart stutters anyway. âStop patronizing me and dry off already.â
âAlright, no need to get so fussy.â he throws up his hands in surrender, and he waits until you leave his quarters, strides measured as you give him privacy to change.
Aventurine wonders if you know just how much he loves you. Because he knows he does.
Recently, Kakavasha has come to a dangerous conclusion.
Perhaps the reason the space in his heart is empty was because you had been dictated to fit in it, and that Aventurine knows heâd never want you to leave.
â
Grief haunts Aventurine like a ghost, an old friend. Anguish whispers in Kakavashaâs ears and dictates its path to be his destiny.
But love comes in the form of Aventurineâs adoration for you.
âHave you ever wondered what it would be like to die?â
âNo.â
A lie. Aventurine has always had a morbid, twisted curiosity of death. Death is the earliest lesson taught to him, among the lessons of Mama Fenge and the cruel acts of the Katicans. Death is his companion, a reminder that his life is merely defined by his usefulness, his luck.
âWhy are you asking?â It is a mundane question, spoken atop the glamourous balcony as you and him look down at the glittering streetlights in Penacony below, watching the people of the dreamscape live the life their reality never brought them.
âNo reason. Just⌠I wondered.â You hum, and Aventurine notes the miniscule shiver of your body, the lowering of your gaze; you're thinking about something again. (He wonders if you'd let him listen to what you want to say.) âWhat death might be like in this dreamscape.â
An underlying feeling of tension. You know what Aventurine's been up to. What he's been searching for in order to act out the IPCâs plan. Though it infuriates you to know he's doing this to himself, you're powerless to do anything about it. There is a wall between you that Aventurine refuses to cross.
Instead, his silent question comes in the form of his coat draped around your back. There's no motion of rejection from you, which makes him feel niceâeven if it's just for a while. âThank you.â
You didn't need to thank him. Aventurine knows that he'd do anything for you anyway even if you don't ask a thing. But you do anyway, because you were lovely and blinding; and he yearns to grasp at even a single wisp of your reality.
âFor what it's worth,â Aventurine says, the characteristic lilt of amusement in his voice gone, replaced with something authentic, âI wouldn't want you to die. Such a thing would be unfortunate for someone with lots of promise in the economic field.â
You glance at him with a funny look, exasperated but not surprised. âWell, I'm glad you think so highly of me...?â
He cringes at that, huffs out a weak ânaturallyâ as he stares out at the distance. The wall between you weakens.
âAnd, well, the sentiment is the same for me. I don't want you to die either.â you say, and the glow of the streetlights illuminate your face, and Aventurine's eyes don't leave your presence, wanting to burn the sight to his irises, to his pupils; never letting a fiber of your being go unloved. Retaining you and keeping you close when his hands cannot.
(If only you knew.)
âI wouldn't go down without a fight.â he says, and Aventurine takes you inâthe ways in which you gaze upon the scenery below, watching how you chuckle as you hear the loud countdown to the fireworks, the way your voice has always been the light, his adoration for you a stone to grab on in his gamble in life.
There's silence. Loving you is like loving the way the air fills your lungs as you breathe, because loving you was as natural as breathing in the sandy dunes of the place he once called home, as natural as the Avgin that filled his ears, and loving you is everything to him, for Kakavasha was a dreamer, and you are his dreams personified.
Loving you reminds him of home, because you have burrowed your way into his bones, his lungs and his skin, and Kakavasha fills himself with your existence and lives. Loves.
He speaks your name like it's the last thing he could ever do, and that through you, Kakavasha lived, and Kakavasha loved you.
And like always, it's there. Your attention, on him, as he always knows it will be (and as he always hopes it shall be.) as you gaze at him like he's the brightest star in the sky. Or maybe it's the light refracting in your eyes. Aventurine doesn't really care which. âWhat is it?â
The wall between you two disappears completely, and Kakavasha begins anew, his heart undone.
When Aventurine finally bares his heart to you for the fifth time as the burst of fireworks ricochet across the skies, he hopes those three words will reach you.
bonus: the one time aventurine bares out his heart to you, and he gets rewarded.
Aventurineâs hair has always reminded you of the color of gold.
It is the color of the sunlight as it gently basks against your skin, the color of expensive champagne the man next to you so favors, and the color of the edges of his sunglasses.
(You've always been fond of yellow.)
âAventurine?â you say, tone light, urging him to wake up. He's truly relentless, adamant on sulking as though his most valuable treasure would slip away from his grasp like you are right now because you were running late. âCan you let me get up now?â
âGood morning to you too.â purple eyes greet your form and an arm winds itself around your waist, pulling you even closer. âAnd unfortunately for you, I'm afraid I don't want to.â
âI'll be late. You know Jade hates tardiness-â
â-And I would be devastated to not have my lover by my side and leave me heartlessly.â Aventurine feigns, the falsity of his hurt not affecting you at all.
âYouâŚâ You frown at him, and Aventurine kisses the crease of your eyebrows of your face, enjoying the way your cheeks flush the like burn of alcohol down oneâs throat. âYou're so insufferable.â
âMhm, whatever helps you let out that ire of yours.â he looks at you like he would the most precious of ores, the most valuable of cardsâAventurine looks at you unabashedly, wholly, in affection.
âWill you ever let me be on time?â
âWould you ever let me stop loving you?â he presses a kiss to your palm, tender as his hand traces circles on your palm. Aventurine already knows the answer.
âThats two completely different things.â you sigh, but it's exasperatedly fond, and Aventurineâs heart skips a beat. He finds his answer when you press a chaste kiss upon the edge of his mouth. âDon't answer a question with a question.â
âIt's a great conversation tactic, though. And to answer your question, no, I don't think I will.â
âKakavasha.â You warn. His name on your lips feels a little like salvation, and Aventurine feels a warm ache fill his stomach, blooming into something not so dissimilar to devotion.
With you, there is no Aventurine of Strategems, no Aventurine of the Ten Stonehearts. All that remains is Kakavasha, one that loves you, and one that you love too.
Aventurine laughs, and the die is cast. âLet's make a bet then.â
âUgh, not another one of those.â you groan, but you make no notion to refuse anyway.
âSway my heart enough to let you go.â he smirks, cunning as ever. You roll your eyes, though it's nothing if not affectionate, determined glint shining in your eyes just like starlight.
âOh, that's way too easy. Deal.â
Recently, he's come to a conclusion; Aventurine thinks that if it's with you, no gamble is worthier than this.
(With you, Aventurine is whole, and he is home.)
end notes im gonna kms i hate the ending like actually hate it this fic is the product of boundless hatred and the urge to never show it to the light ever but here i am
Š đđđđđđđđ : do not repost, copy, or plagiarize my work.
#mhie's spirals#âstellaronhvnters#aventurine x you#aventurine x y/n#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#hsr aventurine#aventurine HSR#aventurine x reader#everyone say thank you to ieyn because she was the one who said the ending had to be fluff instead of aventurine dying in reader's arms ^^
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Sunshine [7] - Heat Wave
AN: My loves, thank you so so much for your wonderful support and lovely comments and HCs! â¤ď¸ Youâre amazing! â¤ď¸
I hope you like this as well, and please donât forget to tell me what you think, thank you! đĽ°
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Summary: There are many ways how a first date can end.
Word Count: 4400
CW: Explicit language, mentions of sex, drinking, adult themes MDNI
Series Masterlist
A rational and emotionally mature person would know that drunk calls were normal, and the aftermath was inevitable. Drinking too much sometimes led to that, everyone knew, and a rational and emotionally mature person was supposed to just handle it with dignity.
Too bad you werenât that person.
âSo youâre avoiding the hot lumberjack?â
âCan we stop calling him that?â
You repressed a laugh and filled Nikâs cup with coffee.
âWell, I wouldnât say Iâm avoiding him,â you said. âItâs justâŚyou know, Iâm sure Logan is a very busy individual so if anything, Iâm doing him a favor by not distracting him. For all we know, he could be on a mission right now. Do you really want him to die because heâs answering my call? I couldnât live with that on my conscience.â
âSunshineââ
âHe could be saving the world,â you pointed out. âDo you want the world to end because he is answering my call? Do you want me to be the person who causes the extinction of the whole humankind? I mean honestly what am I, a tech CEO?â
âYouâre so avoiding him.â
You heaved a sigh, then leaned against the counter.
âI texted him the next morning.â
âBut you didnât call him?â
âI canât call him,â you whined. âIâve made a fool of myself.â
âIâm sure thatâs not true,â Nik said and you tilted your head at Jamie who was eating his breakfast.
âHow are you being so quiet about this? I thought youâd be thrilled that Iâm avoiding him.â
âI am but I canât comment on this whole thing, I have a conflict of interest.â
âConflict of interest?â
âYeah I hate the guyâs guts,â he stated before nodding at you. âKeep avoiding him, youâre better off without him.â
Nik gasped. âJamie!â
âBabe, that guy is a walking red flag.â
âEven if it were true, he also looks like he belongs on the cover page of those vintage romance books my grandma has in her library.â
âFabio?!â
âI donât know his name Jamie, but in Loganâs case Iâll allow a little red.â Nik stated. âItâs been years since she got laid.â
Your jaw dropped. âNo it hasnât!â
âIâm half scared sheâll join a convent,â Nik said, motioning in your direction and making you roll your eyes.
âGuys.â
âSheâs not just going to get laid, sheâs already talking about moving to the mountains with that asshole.â
âItâs not a mountain, itâs a cabin in the woods!â you argued and Jamie shrugged his shoulders.
âWhatever it is.â
âIâm pretty sure he doesnât want to hear from me after that night,â you said. âI mean I totally made a move on him andâŚâ
âAnd he turned you down because you were drunk!â Nik said with a smile and Jamie made a face.
âThatâs like the bare minimum, donât get impressed by that.â
âAnd when he maimed three guys for her?â
âThe least he could do, considering what they threatened her with. Shouldâve killed them if you ask me.â
A shiver ran down your spine but you made yourself busy with the tablecloth, wiping at the counter while Nik raised his brows.
âDriving her home so that she wouldnât walk in the rain? Fixing her car? Going all the way from school to her neighborhood because he was worried about her being drunk and outside?â
âWhat are we, keeping a list now?â
âDarling I know youâre very adamant about hating this guy but you do have to admit the things heâs been doing for her are the opposite of a red flag,â Nik said, patting his hand as if trying to console him and Jamie heaved a sigh.
âI hate this.â
âSo you think I should call him?â you asked Nik and he nodded.
âYou should.â
âI disagree.â
âWell aware of that Jamie.â
âI hate him.â
âFigured that one as well, strange as it sounds,â Nik said before turning to you. âCall him.â
You nibbled on your lip, then motioned at Stacey and held up your phone, making her nod before you made your way out of the diner. Taking a deep breath, you found his name on the screen and touched it before taking the phone to your ear.
It rang only once.
âHey princess.â
âLogan, hi!â you said, your heart pacing in your chest. âUm, are you busy?â
âNot at all,â he said. âTook you a while to sober up huh?â
You could feel your lips curling into a smile at his teasing remark.
âI may or may not have been avoiding you,â you admitted, biting at your nails. âIâm sorry.â
âNot a problem,â he said with a small chuckle. âWhy were you avoiding me?â
You shrugged your shoulders as if he could see you.
âI donât know,â you mumbled. âReasons.â
He hummed and you shifted your weight before you leaned back to the wall of the diner.
âThank you by the way,â you said. âForâŚthat whole night. And Iâm sorry forâfor making a move on you, thatâs very unlike me and Iââ
âAre you free tonight?â
Your head shot up, your eyes widening at his question and you felt your breath catching in your throat before you swallowed.
âMe?â you felt the need to ask and he paused for a moment as if he didnât know how to answer that.
ââŚYes?â
âAs in tonight tonight?â
âYeah.â
âUhâsure!â you said, your voice going high pitched for a moment. âIâd love that!â
âGreat, I can pick you up from the dinerââ
âNo!â you cut him off as you looked down at your uniform, frowning slightly. âI need to drop by my place first.â
âThatâs fine,â he said. âI can pick you up from there then. Does 8 work for you?â
âYeah!â you said breathlessly as you nodded your head so fast that you got dizzy for a second, blinking fast. âIt totally works for me.â
âGreat,â he said. âSee you tonight then.â
âSee you,â you said and hung up, then let out a squeal and pressed the phone to your chest, jumping up and down in your spot. You took a deep breath, then fixed your hair and made your way back into the diner to rush to the counter again.
âHe asked me out!â you whispered to Nik, grabbing his arm. âJust now, he asked me out!â
Jamie let out a whine and buried his face into his palms while Nik grinned at you, patting Jamie on the back in a reassuring manner.
âSee? Told you.â
âWeâre meeting tonight! At 8!â you said and paused for a moment. âOh my God what do I wear?â
âA Regency gown.â
âJamie I love you but not now,â Nik told him before he turned to you. âWeâll videocall okay? You, me and Julie.â
âOkay.â
âAnd after you and Logan become a couple, we can have a double date.â
That was enough to make Jamie lift his head from his hands. âAbsolutely fucking not.â
âDonât worry, Iâll convince him,â Nik told you and you let out a giggle, your insides all warm with excitement.
âNik,â you said. âI really really like him.â
Nik let out an âaw!â and reached out to squeeze your hand.
âThatâs good!â he said. âI mean granted we will grill him about his intentions with you but itâs a great start.â
Jamie opened his mouth to disagree but Nik elbowed him, shooting him a glare. You suppressed your laugh as Jamie heaved a sigh, then turned to you.
âJustâŚâ he said. âBe careful. Please?â
âAlways am,â you promised him with a grin. âThe pie is on me by the way. For emotional support.â
                                           *
It wasnât that you hadnât been on dates.
Nik was quite the matchmaker, so was Julie. In fact, for the last year, they had been acting like their sole purpose in life was to find you a boyfriend so if anything, you had been on too many dates.
Not thatâ
Not that you assumed this was a date.
Even if you were wearing matching lingerie underneath your dress.
You were basically buzzing with anticipation as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, fixing your hair before smoothing down your dress. Your wardrobe looked like it had exploded and for a moment the possibility of bringing Logan back to your apartment crossed your mind, making your heart skip a happy beat. You gathered up all your clothes into your arms to push them into the wardrobe, then put your hands on your hips, tilting your head to the side.
âGood enough,â you mumbled and walked to your vanity to check on your makeup, then went to the living room to approach the small fish tank. You grabbed the fish food next to it, then sprinkled it into the tank carefully before dragging your finger over the glass, following their movements.
Theo was going to be so happy when he saw them.
Your head whipped around when you heard the doorbell ring, your heart beating in your ears and to make it worse you knew very well that he could hear it but you refused to dwell on it, so you made your way to the door to open it.
Fuck, you were beginning to think you were never going to get used to just how hot he was.
âHi!â
âHi princess,â he said, his deep voice making your stomach do a happy flip as he looked you up and down. âYou look beautiful.â
Oh dear God, you were not going to survive tonight.
âThanks, so do you,â you said with a smile before you turned around to get your jacket and purse. âSo um, where are we going?â
Where you were going turned out to be a cozy bar with soft music playing in the background. It was somehow so Logan, there was no chaos, no deafening noise or blinding lights.
Just pure comfort; the kind that made you almost lightheaded, warming your insides.
âSo why exactly were you avoiding me?â Logan asked as the waiter put his whiskey and your cocktail on the table and you took a shaky breath, forcing yourself to focus on the question rather than how handsome he looked under the dim light of the bar as you crossed your arms on the table.
âI meanâŚâ you trailed off, scrunching up your face for a moment. âI was embarrassed.â
âWhy?â
âUh I donât know if you remember that night,â you tried to joke your way through discomfort. âBut it wasnât what one would call dignified.â
He shot you a lighthearted glare and you shrugged your shoulders.
âI turn into a very impulsive person when Iâm drunk,â you admitted and his lips quirked into a smile.
âYeah I donât know that many people who buy fish when theyâre drunk.â
âOh you donât know the half of it,â you said with a laugh. âI have a worse drunk story actually.â
âYeah?â
âOh yeah, on my senior year in high school, me and my friends got drunk and in our town there was this guy who was a dog breeder,â you said. âAnd we knew he was terrible to them, we wrote petitions and everything for the town council to do something but there was no use. So one night, we knew he was out of town so we broke into his house and stole all the dogs.â
He raised his brows, smiling slightly. âSeriously?â
âYeah! And we kept all of them at my friendâs house and one by one we got them adopted. The guy knew we did it, but there was no chip or anything so he couldnât do anything.â
âWow,â he said, a chuckle vibrating in his chest. âSo you turn into a vigilante when youâre drunk, got it.â
âI do,â you said, raising your cocktail in a mock of toast before taking a sip while he leaned back. âI love animals. I was actually studying to be aââ you paused for a moment. âWell, studying is a big word for it considering I dropped out without even completing my freshman year, but I was studying to be a vet before Theo.â
He tilted his head. âReally?â
âMm hm.â
âClassmate?â he asked and you licked your lips, an icy spark replacing the happy warmth inside of you.
âUh,â you said, trying to sound nonchalant. âT.A actually.â
Logan pulled his brows together and you took a sip of your cocktail.
âTrust me, I know how fucked up it sounds now,â you said with a small laugh. âBut back then I didnât and it worked out very well for him.â
âThat guy really sounds like he needs to get his ass beat.â
âOh Jamie actually beat him up once,â you pointed out. âIn what became known as The Legendary Bar Fight. We celebrate it once a year with drinks.â
âYou could give me his address.â
âAbsolutely not, and I donât even know where he is to be honest,â you said. âAnyway, why are we talking about him? Also why am I the one doing all the talking yet again?â
âI like listening to you talk.â
You could feel your cheeks growing warmer and a smile curled your lips.
âUntil I give you a headache.â
âNever gonna happen.â
 Your smile widened as you looked down at your cocktail, shifting your weight.
âWell, either way,â you mumbled. âItâs your turn now.â
âOh, my turn?â
âI barely know anything about you,â you admitted. âOther than the fact that you have been saving me a lot since we met.â
He shrugged his shoulders. âWhat do you want to know?â
âWhatever youâre willing to tell me,â you said. âWhat did you want to be when you grew up?â
âAlive.â
Your brows pinched together as you took a deep breath.
âLimited options, got it,â you said. âWere your family also mutants?â
âMy brother,â he said. âVictor. We donâtâŚtalk anymore.â
Something in his tone was distant, so you decided not to push it.
âDo you like working for Professor X?â you asked, steering the conversation to safer waters and that seemed to pull him out of his thoughts as he nodded his head.
âYeah,â he said. âCharles is the best man Iâve ever met. Donât tell him I said that though.â
âCross my heart,â you said with a giggle, proud of yourself for finding a better subject. âHow did you meet him?â
âHe found me back when I was a cage fighter.â
You blinked a couple of times. âSorry, a cage fighter?â
âYeah I was uhâŚâ he paused for a moment. âWandering.â
âHow does one become a cage fighter?â
âWrong crowd,â he joked, making you let out a laugh.
âIâd bet. And now you are part time teacher, part timeâŚgoing on missions.â
âMm hm.â
âAnd you have a costume,â you mused as he shook his head slightly. âAny chance Iâll get to see you in it?â
âIf you ask nicely.â
A fire spread over your cheeks at the teasing tone in his voice and you scrunched up your nose at him.
âIâm always nice,â you pointed out nonchalantly. âOr has it escaped your attention?â
âTrust me, it hasnât.â
His lips twitched when a smile warmed your face and that soft light started gleaming in his eyes.
âOkay,â you said, sitting up straight. âAnother question.��
âShoot.â
âYou really didnât get a handkerchief?â
He scoffed a laugh. âYou remember that?â
âUnfortunately.â
âAs I said, I had other priorities in mind.â
You narrowed your eyes a little. âI could see you in period clothing, now that I imagine it...â
âPlease stop imagining me like that.â
âLike those long jackets, long bootsâoh my God,â you gasped, making him raise his brows. âLogan!â
âIâm not gonna like what youâre about to say, am I?â
âA top hat!â
Logan nodded to himself. âYep, called it.â
âNo seriously,â you insisted. âOn Halloweenââ
âAbsolutely not.â
You let out a small laugh.
âNik throws these amazing Halloween parties and the theme was âwrite your own storyâ a couple years back,â you said. âSo I got this huge dress, likeâŚ17th century huge, with a corset and everything, and no one really thinks about it but it is quite hard to unlace a corsetâ" you tilted your head when you saw his smirk. âHey!â
Logan held up his hands, gesturing surrender.
âI didnât say anything.â
âLet me guess, youâre painfully familiar with how to unlace a corset?â
âStill not saying anything.â
You hummed, trying to adapt a serious expression.
âAnyway, Casanova,â you said. âSo my story was, thereâs this girl, who was betrothed to the love of his life, and then he gets lost at the sea and everyone is convinced that his ship sank, but the plot twist, he wasnât dead so he comes back but heâs a vampire, and he turns her into a vampire as well âobviously with consentâ and they live happily ever after.â
âQuite the love story.â
âThank you,â you said happily. âSo no handkerchief?â
âNo handkerchief.â
You hummed, then heaved a sigh.
âVery well then,â you said and grabbed your purse to take out a pen, then pulled the napkin on the table to yourself to write your initials on it. You pulled back to look at it better, then held it out for him.
âThere you go, Mr. I had other priorities.â you said with a grin. âA make do handkerchief.â Â
The fond look on his face was enough to make your heart skip a happy beat as he stared at you, then took it from you and folded it before he pulled out his wallet, making your eyes widen.
âOh I was justâyou donât have to actually keep it, itâs a silly joke,â you stammered and he shot you a glance of disbelief as if he was surprised that you thought he wouldnât.
âIâll keep it,â he said while placing it into his wallet in such a careful manner that one simple observer would think it was something incredibly precious for him rather than just a bar napkin. You blinked a couple of times, gawking at him.
âReally?â
âReally.â
You were painfully aware of the heart eyes you were giving him so you forced yourself to drag your gaze from him to your cocktail and took a huge sip, your heart still beating in your ears.
âOkay then,â you said, taking a deep breath. âI hope youâre ready for more questions, because I have like a million of them.â
                                           *
You had insisted walking after leaving the bar. It wasnât that far away from your apartment, the weather was so nice, and you had hoped it would make him see you were completely sober, just in case it had escaped his attention how you had only drunk one cocktail in like two hours.
You had plans for tonight and it included him and your bed, God damn it.
âSo you actually were a lumberjack?â
âI was cutting down trees and turning them into logs.â
âThatâs what a lumberjack does,â you insisted as you walked beside him. âJulie has superpowers, I swearâŚâ
âHm?â
âNothing,â you said quickly. âAnd you had a real cabin in the woods?â
âSomething like that.â
âAre they still hiring?â you asked him, making him let out a laugh. âSeriously, I want a cabin in the woods.â
âFor your Hi-Horse?â
Your heart skipped a beat as you stared up at him. âYou remember that?â
âOf course,â he said as if he wasnât melting your heart with that simple fact and you licked your lips.
âDid you have a horse?â
âNope.â
âYou had a cabin in the woods and you didnât have a horse and two dogs and a cat?â you asked, pretending to be scandalized. âThatâs just being short sighted, Logan.â
âNot all of us want to have a zoo, sweetheart.â
âItâs not a zoo!â you said with a gasp, making him grin.
âA farm then.â
âItâs not a farm,â you argued. âFarms have sheep.â
âOh you donât want sheep?â
âOf course I do but thatâs beside the point,â you said. âItâs not a farmââ
âWhat are the sheepâs names?â
âShearlock and Wooly Wonka,â you muttered, coaxing a chuckle out of him.
âVery creative.â
âThank you,â you said. âI think itâs against the law to not have animals if you have a cabin in the woods.â
âItâs not.â
âWell it should be,â you said without hesitation and he bit back a smile as you stopped in front of your house.
Anticipation was swirling in your stomach, filling you with excitement and making your heartbeat faster. You knew he could hear it but for the first time, you didnât mind it.
Desire was too strong to let you feel anything else.
âUm, so before I say what Iâm about to say,â you said after a beat, turning to look at him better as you leaned back on the wall of the building. âI would like to point out that Iâm completely one hundred percent sober.â
He tilted his head to the left, a mischievous light playing in his hazel eyes.
âLike, in case it has escaped your notice I only had one drink and it was a cocktail and it was a pretty light cocktail so like, half juice really,â you said. âAnd Iâm not even buzzed, and even if I were buzzed, we walked here so fresh air wouldâve helped. Which, it has no reason to help because to repeat Iâm not even buzzed. I will blow on anythingâthat sounded wrong,â you corrected yourself, pulling your brows together. âUm, a breathalyzer I mean, if I blew into a breathalyzer it would come out a zero because Iâm so sober, andâandâI donât know if you paid attention to it, but I walked all the way here in a straight line, which should be the proof and if you didnât, I can walk in a straight line right now toââ
You didnât get to finish your sentence when he pulled you into a kiss.
You could swear the rest of the world stopped existing the moment his lips touched yours. His arm sneaked around your waist while he cradled the back of your head with his other hand, making your breath catch in your throat. Desire turned into fire in your veins, reaching your chest before it sent the warmth all over your body, making you dizzy. You gripped his shirt tighter in your fists, standing on your tiptoes, a soft whine escaping from your lips as soon as he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours.
âFuckâŚâ he whispered and you blinked up at him, nearly drunk in the haze.
âNo IâI wanted you to do it,â you tried to find the right words through the fog of desire and he licked his lips, looking down at you before he shook his head slightly.
âYou shouldnât,â he rasped out and you pulled your brows together.
âI shouldnât want you to do it?â you asked him, still trying to catch your breath and he nodded.
âIâm notâŚâ he trailed off against your lips. âIâm no good for you.â
Your frown deepened before you let out a breath, and slowly reached out to cup his cheek. His eyes closed for a moment as if your mere touch was anchoring him to the moment, pulling him out of his own mind before he opened his eyes again to look at you. A tentative smile curled your lips and you thought for a moment before clearing your throat.
âHereâs whatâs gonna happen,â you said, your voice soft. âIâll be the one to decide whether youâre good for me or not. Alright?â
His eyes searched yours before he let out a breath, then nodded his head.
âAlright,â he said, his voice a murmur before he dipped his head down to kiss you again. A squeal escaped from you as he picked you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist and walked into the building. You had no idea how he didnât lose his balance or hit anywhere on his way but you couldnât bring yourself to care when he was kissing you like this, and you only noticed you had in fact reached your door when he pressed you against it.
âInside, inside!â you giggled as you fished your keys out of your purse, and he held you with one arm, making your eyes widen while he took the keys from you and opened the door, then walked in and kicked the door shut behind him.
Oh God.
Oh God this was happening.
Now you understood what all those romance novels were talking about. You couldnât pull yourself away from his kiss even if you wanted to, the fire had taken over your whole body until every single thought disappeared; the only thing that existed was him, and how good his lips made you feel. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you both fell on your bed, his weight taking your breath away for a moment before you unbuttoned his flannel and pushed it down his arms. He tossed it somewhere in the room and got rid of his white shirt underneath, making you let out a breath at his muscular body.
Jesus Christ.
Your fingertips grazed over his broad shoulders before slipping down to his hard chest and he helped you up to unzip your dress, his lips finding yours as if he couldnât stand not kissing you even for a moment. He pulled back only to pull the dress off of you, but he froze as soon as his eyes fell on you.
âFuck, youâre perfect,â the whisper left his lips like a prayer and you felt your heart skip a beat despite the ever-consuming fire.
âNot really,â you teased him. âI just planned it.â
He raised a brow, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes and he slid down to the foot of the bed, then grabbed your ankle to pull you down, making you let out a small scream before you giggled, propping yourself up on your elbows to see him better.
âWhat are you doing?â
He gave you a wolfish grin, sending a pleasant shiver down your spine as he knelt down at the foot of the bed, his fingers drawing lazy circles on your inner thighs.
âWell, princess,â he muttered, your heart leaping up to your throat when you realized what he was about to do. âYouâre not the only one who planned things.â
8 - Scorching
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan wolverine#logan x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#james howlett#logan howlett imagine#logan x you#james logan howlett#logan xmen#wolverine logan
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Being Goo Kim's Secret Friend: Gitae Kim
2.2k. G/N. Gitae Kim x reader. Reader is morally grey. Gets spicy (Prequel-ish: An Introduction) Other Masterlists
âSo, let me get this straight."
"Mm." Goo hums, meaning go ahead.
"You're paying me to babysit?"
"Man-sit," he interjects.
"Whatever." You flap your hand, "but I am looking after this person, correct?"
"Yes my little sweetpea." Goo rests his head on your shoulder, so close you could count his eyelashes and see the way his pupils dilate. "It's my secret friend's first time back in Seoul after being away. It'll be good for you to show him around."
"...I'm charging my usual rate."
"Sure-"
"And you're covering our expenses."
He rolls his eyes, "Ugh, fine."
.
.
Gitae Kim, from what you have managed to find out, is patricidal and a powerful man with unsavoury dealings.
"Play nice," was Goo's parting advice when you came to him with your concerns.
"Play nice?!" You say, voice shrill. Goo grins.
"Fuck you, my rate just tripled."
The grin drops and is replaced by a scowl.
.
.
"I thought we could try this place. It serves the best yukhoe." You gaze over to Gitae sitting in the passenger seat as you navigate the roads, checking if there's any response.Â
Nothing.
"Raw beef tartare." You explain, "I've heard you can be bloodthirsty."
His eyes flicker to you and you give him your most charming smile.
.
.
Head resting in your palm and elbow on the table, you observe him.
You find his table manners leaves a lot to be desired and watching him has put you off your own meal.
He eats like a beast but if the ferocity that he attacks his food is anything to go by, you're right on the money with guessing his taste.
"Let's get you another drink," you murmur, signalling for the staff. "Goo will kill me if you choke to death and I'm not practised with the heimlich."
.
.
"That was good, right?" You ask, striding alongside and trying to match Gitae step for step as he ignores you.
"I think you enjoyed it. Or you look like you did. I'm not really a fan of raw anything to be honest but gotta be a good host." You direct a smile his way and he hasn't even glanced over at you. You shrug it off and continue to ramble. "I'm still pretty hungry. There's a really good bubble tea place round here and they have a limited edition drink I want to get-"
"No," Gitae cuts in rudely.
"It won't take five minutes."
"No." He repeats, indicating there's no room for argument.
"Aww, cmon," you pout and he once again continues to ignore you. You consider going anyway, with or without Gitae.Â
Goo, face scrunched up in anger and shrieking obscenities, pops into your mind's eye when you imagine telling him that you might have lost his secret friend because you wanted a bubble tea.
"Fine," you grumble and throw Gitae a dirty look.
.
.
Gapryong's eldest is a man of few words and it only adds to his intimidating and menacing aura.
You've seen his list of achievements and he is not someone you want as an enemy. But when someone is this difficult, your default is to try and see what response you can get out of them.
"You know they have vapes now," you signal at the pipe hanging from his belt as you continue to walk next to him.
"Do you smoke?" you ask, and expectedly, he doesn't respond,
"No? I guess it's cool you're committing to it for aesthetic reasons." Then dammit, you wonder what has gotten into you. Maybe it's hanging out with Goo too much because you can't help but add, "Even if it makes you a bit... y'know."
He slows, looking over at you at the same time that you pull a face. Indicating clearly you meant 'cringe' even if you didn't say it aloud.
"You do you though," you say, giving him a thumbs up.
He looks at you for a beat longer, head tilted and eyes narrowed, before continuing on his way with you scurrying to catch up.
.
.
By the end of the first week, Gitae has responded to exactly three things that you've said.
The second week, he's still mostly silent but he actually looks at you sometimes when you talk.
The third week, he calls you by your name when he demands your attention and you're surprised that he even knows who you are.
And the fourth - you manage to make him laugh.
Ok, maybe laugh is a bit generous, but he exhales harder than usual and you're sure he's at least amused.
.
.
GItae thinks you're strange.
You run your mouth like you don't know who you're talking to, though you anticipate his needs and preferences like you've been studying him for most of your life.
You're this side of irritating, but not irritating enough that he wants to kill you.Â
And, the few times he tunes in to your comments, he admits that he finds you quite entertaining.
No-one has spoken to him like you do in a long time. There's a refreshing honesty to your words, and he's also confident that you're not going to stab him in the back at any second to wrest control of his cartel territory, which is also a welcome change from his usual company
It means that he can relax around you, or relax as much as someone like him can..
All in all, progress. Gitae finds himself trusting you like you're his second-in-command.
.
.
"What do you do for fun?" You ask. Gitae doesn't respond.
Right, you think, back to ignoring me.
You roll your eyes and start to ramble about this and that. You tell him that you're chronically online, giving a wry smile, and say it's a general side effect of your job but at least it's interesting to know the ins and outs of a few things.
Really though, maybe you should consider taking up some exercise to get fit or even as a form of self defence with your line of work and the people you come into contact with (you give Gitae a side eye at this) but it's kinda hard to find the time and-
"I can teach you," comes Gitae's low voice.
"What?"
"I can teach you," he repeats and your mouth drops open in shock.
.
.
Ok, as far as bad ideas go, this is a terrible one.
First, Gitae is huge. There is no chance you could even win in a spar or anything against him. You doubt even bullets would be able to penetrate that muscle.
Second, there is a lot of close contact and even more touching.
You aim a punch with all your might at him, any part of him. He deflects without effort, capturing your fist in his palm and he pulls you to his body. Chest against your back, wrapping his arms around you and pinning your own to your side as you try to wriggle out of his grasp.
He leans down to murmur into your ear. "You're very weak." You can feel his voice rumbling through his chest. "But you're very fun."
Your eyes snap to his at his words.
He's grinning, for the first time you've been with him. Eyes crazed and pupils blown, breath hot on your skin.
"Thanks!" You dip your head just before throwing it back sharply, connecting to Gitae's nose with a loud crack.
.
.
Gitae's nose isn't broken though it is bruised.
You apologise profusely and he tells you you have nothing to apologise for.
"It's a great hit."
You halt in your apologies, peering up at him through your lashes with a smug smirk, "I know."
.
.
Your response plays on his mind.
The lift of your lips, the sharpness of your smile, the confidence in your eyes, that half-lidded gaze.
"I know."
.
.
Gitae sees you in a new light.
He has enough of an understanding of Goo Kim to know that he's selective with his secret friends, and you have talked enough that Gitae also understands you play the role of brain rather than brawn.
Though he did not expect such viciousness to hide under your veneer, or you to be capable of such an underhanded move.
He's impressed.
.
.
"Why do all these shows make Mexico so blue?" You ask, watching a scene unfold on your phone. "Is it actually?"
You hold out the device to Gitae, some drama show playing and Mexico is indeed blue tinged.
"No."
"Hmm. It'll be cool to see for myself." You murmur, pulling your phone back.
Gitae pauses. The idea of you in his territory is very appealing. He can demonstrate to you exactly the kind of man he is, the power he wields. He can relish the impressed (or horrified) look on your face.
"I can show you," he says and you beam at the offer.
"Deal!"
.
.
âHow many people have you killed with this?â you flex your hands, signalling âgimmeâ and Gitae passes over his axe.
âToo many to count.â
âCool,â you say nonchalantly, testing your grip. Gitae gives you a strange look.
âI gather intel, remember. Thatâs my thing,â you say, swinging the axe experimentally a few times and appreciating the heft behind it.
The meaning is clear: I know all your secrets and Gitae, to his surprise, feels some respite at this fact.
.
.
"Fuck," you squirm to no avail, trapped underneath Gitae as he looks down at you lazily, inches from your face.
Your wrists are pinned above your head, held in place by his grip as his other hand rests, light but threatening, on your throat.
You have had a few other training sessions since the first one, and the way they had gone was all pure luck. You had managed to gain the upperhand by complete fluke.
This time you feel completely stuck. Movement completely restricted. Gitae straddles your hips and youâre left unable to escape. You have no way to get close and cause any damage.
"Looks like you lose," he says.
You buck your hips, trying to throw him off but the weight and strength difference is too vast. He barely moves even with all your effort and youâre left more dishevelled than before. Shirt riding up and hair in your eyes and mouth.
âFuck,â you groan again, elongating the word and pouting.
You peer up at Gitae and find his eyes flicking between your jutted out bottom lip and your sliver of skin on show.
An idea pops into your head. It may be your worst one yet.
Throwing caution to the wind, you tilt your head up in one swift movement and kiss Gitae full on the mouth. You make contact harder than anticipated, almost clashing your teeth painfully together but adjusting the angle just in time.Â
His body stills when he realises what youâre doing.
âWhy-â he asks, pulling away, and you take advantage of the distance to nip at his bottom lip and reel him back in.
Gitaeâs thoughts are cut off.Â
You bite down roughly, feel your sharp canines punctuating skin.
Blood bursts onto your tongue and he lets out a guttural groan, eyes boring into yours and darkened with lust.
His other hand releases your wrist, caressing over your body, slipping down until it reaches your bare exposed skin. He slides his palm under your top, long, thick fingers splaying over your ribs.
With your hands now free, you continue kissing him, mingling spit and saliva and bursts of metallic tang.
You squirm and this time, Gitae gives in to what you want; rearranging his position without breaking contact. Tongue delving into your mouth. Tasting you as you wrap your legs around his hips.
Taking advantage of the situation, you hug your arms around his neck and use your body as leverage to flip him over. Straddling him as his hardness grinds into you and his hands circle your waist to press your body close.
You can feel exactly how turned on he is, how much he wants you. And god, youâre just as fucking horny. You want him just as badly, except now youâve managed to climb on top, the whole point of this came rushing back. You absolutely hate yourself for stopping this but-
Itâs the principle.
âYou know,â you murmur into his mouth, then pushing up off his chest to sit up, âI think Iâve won. Againâ
Gitae frowns at the sudden loss of contact, âWhat?â
âIâve won. Pretend this is a knife,â you smirk, holding your hand against his throat, in an almost-mirror image of your previous position. âI would have killed you.â
Gitaeâs eyes widened in surprise, âYou did this⌠to win?âÂ
âYep!â
âI didnât expect you to play so dirty.â He says, grinning maniacally as the pieces click into place and he finds himself completely captivated.
âI play as dirty as I need to,â you tell him, tongue swiping out to lick the remnants of his blood from your lips before dipping your head down to kiss him and continue where you left off.
#lookism#lookism x reader#gitae kim#kitae kim#kim gitae#gitae kim x reader#kim gitae x reader#a little bit of the classic ->#goo kim x reader#lookism fic#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#wannaeatramyeon
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Something for Ratchet getting to know Deadlock/Drift
âââââââââââââââââââ
Ratchet doesnât know when exactly the giant alien mech thatâs fallen into his life became âKidâ. But he knows why.
Thereâs something to the way the other throws himself at life with a reckless abandon that screams of youth, even as Ratchet is fairly sure by the weathering of the kidâs metal plate that this mech is way older than he is already.
What frustrates Ratchet though is that the kidâs not even subtle in his recklessness. Ratchetâd barely finished welding his injuries before he started poking at the welds curiously. Just a couple days ago, Ratchet had caught him with a can full of neon pink paint halfway to his mouth. And then thereâs the way that he still calls Ratchet âRatâ, even as Ratchet scowls at him. Because he knows the kid knows his full name by now and he can tell the kid enjoys getting on his nerves.
Thereâs the way the mech moves around his workshop. Clumsy. As though still learning to move around for the first time. Ratchetâs lost count of the number of times the mech has smashed lamps, knocked over tables, or nearly damaged delicate medical equipment that Ratchetâs quickly snatched out of his path (because he needs those, and they arenât nearly as easy to replace as tables or lamps).
And then the day comes when theyâre walking out late at night in an abandoned part of town. No one around to see anything suspicious. No one around to help when the alien falls out of the sky in front of them, a mass of writhing tentacles and glowing red eyes.
And Ratchet watches as the kid moves. A blur of motion so fluid and quick that it goes beyond practice. Thereâs a gun in one of the mechâs hands and a sword in the other. (And where had the kid even been keeping those?)
A slice of the sword sends a tentacle flying over Ratchetâs head. And a short blaze of gunfire later and the alien is nothing more than a corpse oozing green goo onto the sidewalk.
Ratchet is left clutching his wrench and staring up at the kid with something bordering between shock and awe. Reminded that the kid is also a warrior. A warrior ages older and more experienced than Ratchet himself. Deadly, when he wants to be.
Though heâs never shown any desire to hurt Ratchet. In fact, if the way the kidâs looking down at Ratchet as he stows the sword and gun back wherever they came from, the kid feels protective of him. And Ratchet realizes in that moment that he feels the same.
The kid can protect him from the aliens. He vows to protect the kid from what he likely doesnât know (hopefully will never know). That humans have a darker side, can be just as deadly and dangerous as any of the aliens theyâre fighting. And that there are those who will always seek to understand what is new and unexplained by any means necessary.
ANON I LOVE YOU THIS IS WONDERFUL KGJNGNGJFKFMFNCNC
I just. Ahahahahah OH I LOVE to think how much of a disaster Deadlock would be for Ratchetâs workshop hahaha. Everything is on its place? Nope now its not. The whole table got sent to the opposite corner just because your new big ass roommate tripped over it khkhk
ALSO. ehehehe. HEAR ME OUT.
I was thinking a lot about what would Deadlock eat while heâs on Earth. Since in this au Cybertronians doesnât know Earth even exists so they didnât get the chance to hide some snacks on it in advance.
So I got this creepy fucking idea. What if he eats the Quintessons?
Remember how some Quintessons are described as organic and some as robotic? And remember how in Transformers Quintessons are always trying to steal some kind of energy from Cybertron? Sometimes itâs energon, sometimes itâs spark energy, you got the idea. Iâm trying to say that Quintessons are clearly compatible to Cybertronian energy sources~
So. Wouldnât it be wonderfully fucked up if Deadlock had to hunt Quintesson robot monsters, kill them, and then drink their fuel out of their lines? Wouldnât it be crazy gory and fun to think about hmm
Because yeah no the Earth doesnât have any energon in it and Deadlock is crash landing there so he doesnât have enough energon just laying around in his pockets.
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The Pact
Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: Seeing you yearn for a relationship and dejected over the lack of one, Luke Castellan proposes a dating pact. Little did you know, he was going to do more than just wait until the day the pact could happen (friends-to-lovers, fluff, pining, a lot of longing, lowkey jealous luke).
Note: Sort of inspired by Monica and Chandler's pact thing from Friends.
Word count: 3.4k
You were spending some time alone near the lake, trying to enjoy mid summer sunlight as well as the silence from the lack of campers and couples around. For some strange reason, the number of people dating at least tripled in the last three weeks. If you were honest, the sight of happy couples was starting to irritate you.
Your eyes glided through the lines in the novel you were reading, though you could barely get past a few pages before a degree of bitterness seeped through. You set the book down and sighed. Your head leaned against the tree behind you while shutting your eyes and furrowing your eyebrows.Â
Oh, if only someone could love you the same way love was portrayed in books.
Before the scowl could grow permanent on your face, you felt light finger tips setting on the crease between your eyebrows. Instead of getting scared, you remained calm. You knew immediately who it was because there was only one person who would do that. The person sat down next to you and you turned to see them already smiling at you.Â
To most, Luke Castellan was just the Hermes cabin counselor and best swordsman. But to you, he was a close friend and confidante. He has made it a habit to press softly against your scrunched eyebrows to prevent you from scowling further. It was somewhat sweet to you.
âWhatâs got you so bothered?â Luke asked, peering at you while tilting his head in a boyish manner. The look alone somehow made you blush. There was no denying that Luke was cute. You knew at least a handful of people at camp who would agree. It honestly surprised you that he was still single. Though you were somewhat relieved at that. For about a year now, you have had a little crush on the Hermes cabin counselor. It was not hard falling for his kind words and sweet actions.
âThis is going to sound so stupidâŚâ You let out a deep sigh.
âOh, come on, since when have I judged you for being stupid?â
âOh, so you do admit Iâm stupid sometimes?â
âYes, but is that really a problem, considering I find it endearing?â You hope he did not see the way your face heated up at his words.Â
Little did you know, Luke did notice it, just like he has always noticed little details about you. Knowing he was the reason behind your pink-tinted cheeks filled his heart with joy. In fact, throughout the last year, it got to the point where he would grow very bold with his flirty jokes, disguising his feelings in between them. Honestly, he was surprised you had not caught up to the truth yet.Â
âOkay, well, so many people have gotten together lately, and itâs got me a little bit annoyed.â
âWhy?â Luke questioned.
âBecause, I want that experience, you know? The teenage love thing. We already have a strange life, fighting creatures and going on quests that could kill us. I just want to at least experience an aspect of a normal teenage life,â you watched him nod and digest your words. âI didnât want it, want it. But seeing everybody else experiencing it makes me wonder when it will be my turn, you know?â You sighed before adding, âTo make matters worse, it seems like nobody is interested in me that way, soâŚâ
Luke almost let out a chuckle of disbelief at your last remark. Oh, many Demigods found you cute. But if only you knew to look right under your nose. He has always been here. If only you could see him how he wanted you to and give him a chance.
Ever since the day Luke Castellan met you, he became a dreamer. During the night, every dream would be of you, while in the morning, heâd daydream of you until he would see you next. You filled in every thought, walking in his mind like it was your home. But even if it wasnât your place, heâd still give you the keys without hesitation.
âSoâŚyou just want to experience teenage love?â
âWell, that, and ideally, to be loved too. I donât just want some casual teenage love, but at the same time, Iâm tired of waiting around.â
A lightbulb practically lit up inside Lukeâs head as an idea popped up. The logical part of his mind was yelling that this was a bad idea, though the more chaotic side was pushing him to just give it a shot. Though, he spent little time contemplating.
âWhat if we make a pact? By the end of summer - so maybe in about a month - if you havenât started dating anybodyâŚletâs date each other,â Luke blurted out before his mind could talk him into backing out. It was stupid, and he knew it. But if that was one way to potentially date you, then so be it.Â
Lukeâs heart squeezed when he saw you completely frozen. He started panicking. Maybe he made it too obvious, and perhaps you didnât like him in that way and were trying to find a way to back out.Â
âI meanâjust so the both of us could experience teenage love, you know? I think it will be great. We already get along well. Weâre good friends. What could go wrong?â Luke tried in a more casual voice.
A lot could go wrong â you thought. A possible thing that could go wrong is that you would fall harder for Luke, and that feeling would absolutely destroy you when you two break up because he finally becomes genuinely interested in another girl. Or, it has you so hung up that you would confess to him, only for him to say that whatever you two had was just a pact. But Gods, your heart must actually be a fool to whisper to your brain, âI meanâŚat least you would no longer have to imagine how it would feel like to be his.â
âSure,â you said before you could think twice about it. âDeal,â you grabbed his hand and shook it.
âDeal.â
NowâŚLuke just needed to do a couple more things in the meantime.
During the first week, you asked Clarisse to set you up with somebody. She introduced you to one of her friends, Dean. However, when you mentioned Dean to Luke, he clicked his tongue before warning you.
âI just think you deserve better, Y/N. Iâve known him for five years and have never seen him bring one person on a date twice. Last week alone, he went on a date with five people.â Since then, you havenât spoken to Dean again, deciding that you donât want to try and date a playboy.
Two weeks later, you asked this guy on a date. He came to the picnic you had set up with a bouquet of flowers. However, your smile faltered slightly when you realized they were the type of flowers you disliked. You shook the negative thoughts away. After all, itâs the effort that counts.
Things quickly went downhill as the guy started sneezingâŚa lot. His eyes were watering, and it seemed like he was borderline getting sick. You noticed him trying to stop sneezing. You could feel the guy tryingâyou really did. But the last straw broke when he turned away to sneeze mid-sentence but didnât do it fast enough.Â
Three days before the day that marked the day the pact would be able to begin, you attended a party hosted by the Hermes cabin. You were honestly done with trying to find someone to date. Perhaps, this pact thing was not such a bad idea after all, even if Luke might not like you as much as you like him. But at least you knew he would treat you well.
However, your numbers must have turned because somebody had walked up to you and struck up a conversation. With similar humor, your jokes bounced off each otherâs, and you almost started crying from laughing at one point.
The sound of your laughter caught the attention of the Hermes cabin counselor. Luke could feel his lips slowly curling up into a smile at the sound of your giggles and laughter. He has always found the sound so endearing.
However, when he turned his gaze over at you, his eyebrows scrunched at the sight of you conversing with another Hermes boy â Oscar, who was also one of his friends. Luke was no longer paying attention to the conversation in his circle right now. His ears were busy trying to make out what that boy was saying to make you laugh like that. However, he almost left his friends when you touched Oscarâs arm while giggling at another one of his jokes.
You always tend to physically react to Lukeâs jokes, from small touches while laughing to you playfully slapping his arm at his cheekier jokes. They never fail to make the tip of his ears grow red while his cheeks match the same color. Though Luke swore he had never seen you this way with anybody else. Hence, he was less than enthusiastic at the sight of you doing the same with another guy right now.Â
You continued talking to Oscar, but your conversation stopped when somebody bumped into Oscar and spilled their drink onto him.Â
âIâm so sorry, I didnât mean to tripâŚâ the guy who bumped into Oscar apologized.
âChris, itâs okay, donât worry about it,â Oscar said, though a sigh quickly followed his words. âIâll just go and wash the drink off, but Iâll talk to you in a bit, though?â Oscar looked at you. He smiled when you gave him a sweet nod.
âSorry again, man,â Chris said before watching Oscar exit the cabin. He turned to you now. âSo, how are you? Are you enjoying the party?â You answered Chris and started catching up with him. You and Chris met through Luke, though as the years went on you two became friends as well.
With your focus now on Chris, you did not notice the figure of the Hermes cabin counselor zooming past you two and outside, following a certain someone. However, your conversation with Chris didnât last long because Clarisse swooped in and borrowed you from Chris.Â
âSo, I saw you talking to Oscar. Give me the details,â she said, dragging you down to sit beside her.
âHeâs great! Itâs so easy to talk to him and be around him.â
âEasier than with Luke?â you gave her a warning glare. You might have told her about your little crush on Luke, though you confessed that to her out of the belief that nothing would ever happen and that it would pass soon. Fast-forward to a year later, your feelings have not changed.Â
â...No, butââ
âIâm telling you, Lukeâs the best one for you.â
âHe doesnât like me like that.â
âIf he doesnât like you like that, he would have never made that pact with you." When you didnât reply to her, Clarisse decided to bring something else up. âAlright, letâs move on and talk about something else thenâŚanother candidate. Dean told me you didnât show up.â
âShow up to what?â
âHe wrote you a note asking you to meet him?â the look on your face must have told Clarisse you had no idea what she was talking about. âHe wanted to ask you out on a date in person after that talk you two had three weeks ago.â
âWhere did he leave the note?â
âApparently, he was planning to get me to give it to you, but he passed Luke on his way to me, who offered to give it to you.â
âWell, I never got the note. I guess it doesnât matter anyway. Luke told me heâs quite a player.â Clarisse pondered on the information you just provided her. Dean was in no way a player. She knew he has only been on one date with another person at camp. However, the puzzle pieces quickly clicked for Clarisse and she leaned back with a smirk.Â
Before you could question the look on Clarisse's face, Oscar came back to the party.Â
âWell, if you don't mind, Oscar is back and I have a good feeling about him. So I'm going to go and talk to him,â you left Clarisse, walking in the direction Oscar did. Meanwhile, Clarisse only silently chuckled. She knew exactly what Luke was up to and it made her shook her head in amusement.
âHey,â you touched Oscarâs arm, though the cheery grin on your face fell when he slightly flinched and shrugged your hand off. âUhm, itâs good you got that stain off your shirt,â your eyebrows furrowed when you realized Oscar was not even making eye contact with you.
âSo, tell me more about that quest you went on last year?â you asked, hoping to start a conversation again. However, Oscar quickly broke out the truth.
âListen, you seem very lovely, but I donât want to put myself in the middle of anything. I donât want to cause any drama.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âIâm not the type of guy to steal girls my friends are talking to or having a thing with,â you scrunch your eyebrow in confusion. Just as you were going to question what Oscar was referring to, his eyes betrayed him and looked at someone. You followed his eyesight only to see Luke already looking at you while glancing between you and Oscar. Though realizing he had been caught, Luke looked away and back to his friends.
That was when everything made sense.
âUh ohâŚâ Chrisâs voice snapped Luke from whatever his friends were saying. He followed his gaze to where Chris was looking, only to see you storming over.
âWe need to talk,â Luke tried not to think too much about the way your hand felt on his wrist as you pulled him through the crowd and outside. As always, he blindly followed you to wherever you were taking him.Â
You released Luke from your grip and stood with hands on your hips. You took a deep breath.Â
âAre you kidding me? Have you been sabotaging me? You told me Dean plays around, but apparently he doesnât. He also gave you a note to give to me, but you never did it. Then, Oscar, who I was getting along with, came back acting weird, wouldnât even look me in the eye, and then told me we have a thing going on?â
Oh, Gods, you found out about what he has been doing.
âListenâŚâ Luke started off while rubbing his neck, though he was unsure what to say next because he was indeed guilty of every accusation you were throwing towards him. But how was he meant to trust fate that you would still be single by the time the pact would be able to come true?
So, he intervened in his own way. That included throwing away Deanâs note, having Chris spill a drink on Oscar to get the boy away from you so Luke could have a talk with him. He might have also suggested your date two weeks ago to get you flowers, despite knowing that the boy was allergic to flowers.
All he wanted to do was to make sure the pact could happen.
âLukeâŚwhy? You know I wanted this. I wanted to experience things and date someone.â You werenât mad, but you were slightly disappointed and confused. You didnât understand Lukeâs intentions behind his actions.
However, Luke misinterpreted the look on your face. He thought you were genuinely upset, and that alone pinched Lukeâs heart. He gulped at the idea that he might have disappointed you or made you sad. Screw waiting until the pact happens before confessing. What use would that be when you might somehow start hating him?
â...Maybe I wanted it to be me,â Luke confessed, watching your eyes widen. âYou told me you wanted to experience teenage love and feel loved, and youâre tired of waiting until itâs your turn. But I have never told you what I want.â Luke took a step closer to you before starting.
âI want to be the one to take you on dates and give you your favorite flowers every single time. I want to be your personal hype man and be your shoulder to cry on if you ever need one. I want to sit with you by the lake while you read. I also want to read the books you read and those little annotations you make. I want to learn about the things you love and the things you donât. I want to do things you love. I want to show and tell you just how amazing you are every single day. I want to let the feelings I have right now grow cause I really like the idea of loving you, and I want to get there someday.â
You stood there shell-shocked. This felt almost surreal, like something you read from one of your novels. You have always wished to have someone who practically walked out of a romance novel.
âI want you.â
And here he was, standing in front of you, begging for a chance to be yours.
âAnd I know you just want teenage love, and I could offer you that. But just know Iâm also offering so much more, even if you donât treat the pact the same way as I do and will only view it as a casual relationship. But I suggested that pact and chased all those guys away because I like you a lot, Y/N. And in hindsight, it was stupid and selfish. But I did it because I felt like it was the only way I could have you.â
âI like you too, Luke,â the words slipped out so easily like they were always meant to be said. âI want you to be my teenage love. I want you too.â Youâve been walking around asking when it would be your turn. If only you had paid attention and looked closer instead, you might have noticed he felt the same way. You wanted everything he has spoken of and be just the same for him â to be there for him and learn to love the things he does.
âAnd I look forward to every single one of the things youâve told me, and be the same for you. I really canât wait for it. However, there is one thing I really want right now,â you said as you walked closer to him, one hand taking his own into yours.
âWhat?â Luke rasped out, looking so tentatively at you. Gods, whatever wish that spills from your lips this second will have him scour the world for itâwhatever guarantees your happiness.
âI want you to kiss me.â
Oh, you could ask him for a thousand kisses, and he would give you a million.
Lukeâs cheeks grew rosy at your request. He stepped closer, tucking your hair behind your ear without breaking eye contact.Â
âCan I?â He whispered in a honey-like tone, and you knew right then that if he kept talking to you in that voice, youâd do absolutely anything he asked.
âMhm,â your quiet hum granted Luke permission to his next addiction. Without hesitation, Luke attached your lips together with both hands caressing your face tenderly. In return, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled you both closer until your bodies were flushed against one another. Slowly but surely, you also tangled your fingers in his curls. Luke almost immediately melted against your touch, sighing in contentment against the kiss.
Luke was convinced this was now his new favorite thing to do. He wondered if you could taste it through the kissâhis feelings and borderline infatuation for you. Either way, he intended on making every kiss like this: wholeheartedly and as if it would be your last.Â
Now, if you were to ask Luke Castellan how to get the person of your dreams, hereâs what heâd advise you:
Step 1. Be stupid and propose a dating pact (tick).
Step 2. Chase away every other potential candidate (tick).
Step 3. Confess (tick).
Step 4. Fulfill all those promises you have made about loving the person (To be continued...But, heâs intending to do this for as long as youâll let him).
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For the yandere! Justice League x assistant reader, how would they react if they had Deadpool as a friend? Like he randomly shows up. They would try to keep the reader as far away from him as possible, but it's Deadpool. Lol. How would Yandere Justice League feel if the reader liked Deadpool because he's funny and makes the reader laugh even if in a tense situation, randomly just talking about nonsense and/or making funny jabs at some of Justice League members? Not only that, but he would just annoy them for his and the reader's amusement. I can also imagine Wonder Woman or Superman trying to kill/critically injure him but finding out he has a super healing ability. LOL. I can imagine the scene where Deadpool punches Colossus, but his hand breaks, then he tries again while saying, "Cock shot!" but his other hand breaks. Instead, he does it to Superman and says, "Oh, your poor Lois Lane!" I feel like that would make the reader laugh out loud.
I finally saw the Deadpool & Wolverine movie, and I loved it! So now I want to see more content about Deadpool. I forget how funny he can be. I would like you to add a Deadpool & Wolverine, but I don't know if you have seen the movie yet. But I recommend you go and watch the movie.
A Day in Life: Best Friends Forever
Synopsis: A day in your life where a visit from your friend ends up in Deadpool losing his thumbs and re-attaching them back.
Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Gn!Assistant!Reader; Platonic!Deadpool
Tw: 18+; No spoilers from the movie; Some violence; Light gore descriptions (not really); Some sexual comments (it's Deadpool); English is my 2nd language.
Word count: 830
Requested? Yes.
Extra notes: I loved this request, saw the movie on like the same week it came out, sorry this took so long</3
General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist
â So that's what happens when Iâm not around, huh?! â Hal Jordan snarked, faking amusement by the sight in front of him, but being very much not amused.
How? Was the question going through everyone's minds, as they watched their dear assistant (Y/N), in the middle of Hall of Justice, chatting away with a very infamous criminal known all around the hero-villain underground, who every single soul despised, and yet, there you were, choking your laughter and in tears with Deadpool, acting as if you've been friends all your life.
Diana was the first one to approach, followed by the rest of the Justice League.
â (Y/N), is this man bothering you? â She squared up and stared directly on Deadpoolâs blank white lenses. That grounded you and helped you come back from the stories your friend was telling you.
â B-Bothering me? â Your laughter slowly died down, and you wiped your tears. â No, weâre just talking. â You shrugged and sniffled, so happy that a genuine smiled was fixed on your face, hypnotizing all the heroes for a moment.
â Wonder Woman! â Deadpool gave little fangirl jumps. Diana swallowed a groan. â Itâs amazing to see you again! Iâm even wearing my fanciest anal plug and thinking about you, all in your honor. â Diana couldn't control the disgusted and astounded expression on her face, while Wade saluted her. You bite your lips to not giggle.
â Don't be silly, Pool. Not everyone understands your humor. â You lightly slapped his shoulder and he sighed.
â I know! That's why I'm so introverted and depressed! â He shook his head. â That's why Disney sold me to DC, they couldn't handle my deep and complex character. Let's hope James Gunn knows what he's doing now. â Everyone, including you, furrowed their eyebrows, but no one decided to question what the hell he was talking about, since the mercenary was known for being insane. â And just after my third movie with Wolvie came out! Unbelievable. â He threw his hands in the air and shook his head while looking at an empty space as if there was someone there. He did that sometimes.
â You seem⌠Close. W-When did that happen, (N/N)? â Flash looked between you and Deadpool, biting his lower lip, slightly anxious. You blinked.
â Oh, well. Like, a few months ago? He sent his curriculum because he wanted to be part of the Justice League. There were no records of him in the system so I Interviewed him. Obviously he didn't pass, but we became good friends! â You shrugged with an easy smile.
â That's⌠Great, (N/N). â You narrowed your eyes on Hal Jordan.
â Hey⌠â Deadpool's mask gave the slightest hint that he was furrowing his eyebrows, and he pointed at Green Lantern. â (Y/N) told me about you. I don't like you. â He took his guns out of the holsters and pointed at the brunette. You gasped and stepped back, slightly regretting having told Wade about that. â STEP BACK WORST RYAN REYNOLDS SUPERHERO MOVIE OR IâM GONNA BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT IN 4K R-RATED! â Hal raised his arms. He was already on thin ice with you, and beating your bestie would probably be a bad idea to start over.
Batman grunted for someone to cover your eyes and threw two batarangs that disarmed Deadpool before he could react. Deadpool gasped and looked at the ground wide eyed. His thumbs had been chumped off in the ordeal (Batman was jealous and also knew he would just regenerate).
â WHAT? WHATâS HAPPENING? â You blindly yelled, since Superman had zoomed to just behind you and was covering your eyes.
â HE CASTRATED ME! â Deadpool cried, reaching back for his swords, but since he didn't have thumbs anymore, he couldn't even hold them, making him just cry more from frustration. â THE DADDY ISSUES JUST GET WORSE! AND JUST BECAUSE I WAS READY TO BE ADOPTED BY YOU! â Batman furrowed his eyebrows at the mention of him having more than just one kid.
â Guys, we should all just calm down. â Flash tried to play the pacifist, standing in the middle of the chaos with his hands up, but Wadeâs cries were covering his voice.
â WHAT'S HAPPENING? â You tried to tug Supermanâs hands off, but he didn't let up, and started trying to sooth you.
Deadpool got to his knees and pathetically tried to push one of his thumbs into place, trying to accelerate his healing process, and after 30 seconds of chaos, he perked up when the thumb got attached again. He did the same to the other one.
â The sight is gross, (Y/N). You do not want to see it⌠â Wonder Woman mumbled, eyes fixed on the scene, feeling a mix of grossed out and impressed.
â Gross? This is natural. Like the birth of a little naked newborn baby. You wanna know what's real gross? My roommate Blind Alâs stink! She might as well be dead at this point⌠Uh, oh⌠â Wade slowly got up. â (Y/N)... Call me an Uber. I need to check on someone.
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#dc comics#yandere dc#yandere bruce wayne x reader#cw yandere#masterlist#yandere diana prince x reader#yandere barry allen x reader#yandere hal jordan x reader#wade wilson x reader#platonic wade wilson x reader#deapool#platonic deadpool#bruce wayne x reader#yandere clark kent x reader#clark kent x reader#diana prince x reader#barry allen x reader#hal jordan x reader#marvel dc crossover#marvel x dc#tw yandere#tw violence#yandere justice league x reader#justice league x reader#justice league#justice league x deadpool#deadpool x justice league#deadpool x reader#yandere justice league x assistant reader#justice league x assistant reader
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and it feels like home | s.r.
in which Spencer confesses his love to you at the oddest of places - your sister's wedding
margovember
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: could be angst if you know what's coming next, jareau!reader, down bad!spencer, yearning, reader feels unlovable, spencer drinks champagne, reader does not drink, reader is shorter than spencer, reader wears a dress and heels word count: 1.93k a/n: and just like that, margovember is over (i have one more request for it technically but it's an episode rewrite so that'll take me longer to write). i was in need of some good yearning - this covers a request for their first kiss and for a fic with francesca by hozier levels of yearning.
You allowed yourself to be led away from the party. The past twenty-four hours had been amassed of you running around like a headless chicken, trying to put together your sisterâs one-step-below shotgun wedding. Now that the party was in full swing, you willingly followed Spencer through the garden, a few remaining speeches going on in the background as the two of you rounded a corner, out of sight of party guests. âIf I didnât know you, Iâd think you were leading me away from everyone to kill me,â you said offhandedly, adjusting the way your shawl fell over your shoulders.
Instead of looking up at Spencer, your eyes homed in on the way he was holding your hand as if he were about to lift it and press a kiss to your knuckles. Butterflies flurried in your stomach at the thought, but you quickly dewinged them, trying to focus on the issue at hand.
Something was wrong with Spencer; you could see it in the way he was shaking his hands. It looked like he was trying to get excess water off of them or if there was energy trying to exit via his fingertips. You were worried about him, sometimes he fidgeted when he was cravingâthough youâd only seen him in that state once before and you couldnât ascertain what would have triggered him.
âI have to talk to you,â he repeated the same words that heâd told you when he first took your hand back at the gazebo. He had to be preparing to tell you something awful, you could tell from the way he wouldnât meet your eyes when you finally glanced up at him. Deep brown irises flittered around, noticing each small detail that you and Dave had plotted out, but he never noticed you.
The blue dress that you had picked out to go well with the flowers and your hair was previously pinned to perfection but had since fallen out while you tried to sort out a last-minute issue with the caterers, but he didnât seem to take mind of any of it. For better or for worse, you supposed. âWhat do you need, Spence?â You asked him, cocking your head and trying not to notice the twinkle in his eye when you called him âSpence.â You promised yourself months ago that youâd stop waiting for someone who would never want you back.
You just couldnât seem to get away from Spencer Reid.
It wasnât that you saw yourself as undesirable, but a small part of yourself was under the impression that if he hadnât made a move yet, it was never going to happen. He knew too much about you; heâd been the one to pick you up off of the floor when your last relationship fell apart. You wondered if he felt the same way, recalling the night you spent on his bathroom floor because you were terrified of finding a needle in his vein.
âAre you seeing anyone?â Spencer finally spoke, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at you nervously. You eyed him curiously, the question faintly reminiscent of something a man would ask you if he were making small talk.
Foolishly, you had thought that you and Spencer had been well past small talk at this point, âNo,â you answered, dragging out the vowel. âYou already knew that, though,â You had talked to him about it last night when the subject of weddings came up, naturally.
He nodded in confirmation, âRight, yeah. Yes, I just needed to make sure before I started this conversation.â Spencer glanced over his shoulder as if he were being watched, or maybe he wanted to make sure no one saw the two of you in close vicinity.
You squinted at him, trying to get a feel for what he wanted to talk about without outwardly profiling him. âWhat conversation?â You asked, feeling like you were enveloped in a spiraling line of questioningâlike youâd never get a straightforward answer.
âDo you remember this time last year? Weâd just finished that sex trafficking case, and we were finishing paperwork late in the office, and you asked me if Iâd ever been in love,â he said, panting like he was running a marathon. âI told you no, and at the time that was the truth. However, the circumstances have changed.â
Your stomach flipped, surging well past butterflies at this point as your face warmedâwhat was he trying to say?
He finally dropped your hand, resorting to placing each of his hands on your waist, stopping you from pulling away. Spencer felt impossibly close to you, even though the two of you had irrefutably been closer together, but not even an embrace would match up with the look he was giving you now. âI couldnât let myself love you, not while you were in a relationship. It felt cruel to me, and it felt cruel to you because you had a boyfriend. It feels like weâve already lived a lifetime together when weâve never truly been together,â he told you, gently squeezing your waist as he spoke animatedly.
Instinctively, you took a step back from him, your breathing faltered slightly when you saw hurt flash in his eyes, âWhy?â Your voice was no more than a breath, an appalled, exasperated breath. âWhy here? Why now, Spence? Weâre at my sisterâs wedding,â you placed a hand on your chest âPlease, can we talk about this tomorrow?â
Spencer was shaking his head before youâd even finished speaking, âNo, it has to be now. I need to do this now,â desperation crept into his tone as he stepped forward, practically caging you against the siding of Rossiâs mansion.
You didnât feel trapped, though, even with Spencerâs arms on either side of you, he was still Spencer. âWhy now, Spence?â You peered up at him through your mascara-covered lashes. Maybe this was a consequence of his environment, surrounded by an evening that was sure to involve declarations of love, so he elected to make one of his own with you as a victim.
âBecause I thought you were in that building,â he said exasperatedly, wide brown eyes watching you as if the answer had been completely obvious the entire time.
Realization dawned over you as you recalled the events from a few days ago: the bank robbery turned explosion that somehow ended in a marriage proposal. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you eyed Spencer curiously, âYou thought Iâd gotten hurt.â
Spencer sighed, âI thought you were dead.â His eyes were trained on yours like there was nothing else in the world for him to look at, âFor a moment, I lived my worst nightmare because I didnât know if you were dead or alive, and I was stuck in Quantico with no way to reach you.â
Everything about the explosion was hazy, everyone was shouting for someone else, and you thought youâd imagined someone calling your name. Youâd convinced yourself you were hearing things, some sort of after effect of the blast, but Spencer had been looking for you. âSpence,â you whispered, unable to gather the words you were so desperately searching for.
He shrugged helplessly, âI canât go another day without telling you I love you.â
You felt like you were being stabbed in the chest repeatedly, unsure if you were on the verge of laughter or tears. âYou never showed⌠I didnât thinkââ
âYouâre the only person Iâve ever met who I have a hard time reading, and I thought⌠I thought that if I waited for you someday, youâd realize that you love me too. I sat and I waited, and I helped you get over your ex and I am so grateful for you and your friendship, but itâs not enough for me,â he told you, no longer panting. This was Spencer completely levelheaded, emphatically declaring his love for you. âI need more of you and I canât wait any longer.â
Eventually, the jig would be up. Someone would jump out from the bushes, and theyâd let you know that you were indeed being Punkâd, but right now you were just looking into the eyes of someone who loved you. It would seem that no one else had ever truly loved you before, because the look Spencer was giving you could only be defined as love, yet it was unfamiliar to you. âYou love me?â You asked, your voice no more than a whisper.
His Adamâs apple bobbed as he looked at you, âI love you in ways that no one has ever loved anyone before, Iâm sure of it.â
âOkay,â you breathed, eyes studying his expression for any hint of regret.
âWould you allow me that?â He stepped away, dropping his arms at his side, âI know I cornered you tonight, and itâs perfectly fine if you donât have an answer for me tonight, but Iâd wait years for you if thatâs what it took.â
You were shaking your head as you took the opportunity to step toward him, propping yourself up on your tiptoes and pressing your lips to his, the picture-perfect moment for the two of you. Perhaps you startled him at first because it took him a moment to wrap his arms around you, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he pulled your body flush with his.
His lips tasted like champagne, and the soft tinge of the alcohol on your mouth only served to intoxicate you further, even though you yourself didnât drink from a flute.
The universe had a funny way of working in your favor, and this time, it had given you your first meeting with Spencer almost four years ago. You had nearly two years of friendship under your belt now, which is why it was so easy for you to pull away from him slightly, grinning against his lips as you whispered, âI love you too.â
Spencer kissed you again, moving one of his hands to gently cup your jaw, moving his velvet soft lips against yours with purpose and care. Your arms were thrown over his shoulders, elbows crossing at the nape of your neck to support you. Youâd have to get used to the height difference, and youâre sure you will.
âHey, Y/N,â Someone called out, and the two of you bolted away from each other like opposite charges, âI think itâs about time to cut the cake, yourâ Oh.â Â
It seems the two of you did not move fast enough, for you were now faced with Emily and her knowing gaze. Your eyes flickered over to Spencer just briefly before you looked back at Emily, âOkay,â you responded to her, your voice hoarse, âIâll let the caterers know.â You started your trudge to the backyard, picking up your feet so your heels wouldnât dig into the grass. âAre you coming?â You turned and faced Spencer; a watercolor pink brushed across his cheeks.
âIâll be right there,â he answered, giving you a soft, patented Spencer smile.
You looked nervously over at Emily, dreading the fact that this thing between you and Spencer was barely fledgling and the team was already going to be aware. âYou know,â she started, and you braced yourself for the teasing, âLondonâs a pretty good place to keep a secret.â
Mouthing a thank you to her, the two of you stepped forward, turning around only when Spencer called out your name one last time, âSave me a dance?â
You laughed slightly at the dopey grin he bore on his face before nodding, âFor you? Always.â Â
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#written by margot#jareau!reader
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Click here for Series Masterlist.
Summary: In the hopes that things would improve between you, you choose to lose your virginity to your friend Dean Winchester because you have been in love with him madly for a long time. However, he doesn't feel the same about you.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader
Warnings: +18 (MINORS DNI) smut, virgin reader!, unrequited love, heavy angst, reader gets hurt, kinda friends with benefits, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, fingering, language
Word Count: 7216
A/N: English is not my first language.
Song: 'WASTE' by Kxllswxtch
Dean's eyes narrowed as he treated your wounded hand; you smiled a little to yourself as he talked about how you sometimes behaved recklessly. If only he knew how much you cherished the moments when he protected you during a hunt.
You had been with him and Sam for a year now, and it was difficult to resist falling in love with him. You weren't sure when you fell in love with him, but you sensed it from the moment he smiled at you, or maybe in a random moment. Every time you glanced into his green eyes, you felt a sense of admiration. You had absolutely no complaints.Â
He complained as he was working to treat your wound, âYou must know, I will consider kicking you out of the team if you keep acting like that.â
It began to rain in your house's weak light. Your heart was filled with fright as he took care of your wound in your house, where you were alone, and it seemed so calm; you were afraid of losing that precious, fragile time with Dean, not of ghosts. You weren't afraid of ghosts.Â
You asked naively, as if you had no idea what he was talking about, âLike what?â When he grabbed your hand too tightly unintentionally, and that sudden moment hurt you a bit, you attempted to draw it in toward yourself with a pained gasp.Â
With a look of regret on his face, you looked at him with understanding.Â
âWhen I tell you to get behind me, you must do what I say, or when I tell you to stop, you must stop.â
âRemember the previous case in point,â you sighed. âIf I did what you told me, we'd both be dead.â You looked up to see how he was feeling.Â
âIt was only a single exception,â Dean immediately defended himself, rolling his eyes at you.Â
âHowever, if I had listened to you, I would have been killed. You too,â you mutely remarked. You weren't attempting to put the blame on him. You were aware that he was guarding Sam and you constantly. You dropped your eyes to your eyes as he looked at you, feeling instantly overwhelmed and overpowered by his piercing stare. âI promise that when I go hunting, I'm not being careless. I truly listen to you, but you must have some degree of faith in me. Since I joined you and Sam months ago, I'm convinced he has more faith in me.â
You wanted Dean to think highly of you, someone whom he could always trust, just as you trusted him with your life. You wanted him to trust you, your strength, and your feelings. Even if you were quite successful, you felt that he still seemed to be unsure about you.
This time, instead of cracking one of his jokes to lighten the mood, he seemed to be deep in focus. When he appeared so confused and like he was in pain on the inside, you wondered what exactly he was thinking. Though you didn't think you could stop him from ruminating at that moment, you still wanted to help him if he was in pain, calm him down if he was feeling anxious, and comfort him if he was feeling uneasy.Â
The sense of worthlessness was an emotion you wanted to stay away from.Â
When he noticed that you weren't as happy as you had been minutes before, he stated in a dry voice, âI don't want you to get killed or hurt because of me. I do trust you, but you have to stop acting reckless and try to save me by endangering yourself.â
âI wasn't putting myself at risk. You're exaggerating,â you said as you continued to examine his hands while he continued to take care of your wounded hand.Â
âYou're very stubborn, aren't you?â In an attempt to soften the thick air, Dean smiled back weakly.Â
You chuckled and tried to catch his gaze by raising your head as you drew nearer and moved on to where you were sitting. âBut Sam thinks I'm the easiest one to get along with and easiest to persuade,â you said.Â
Dean winked at you suspiciously and said, âHey, I guess you were right about something.â
âAbout what?âÂ
âHe's dumb when it comes to reading people, huh?âÂ
You muttered, âAsshole,â and gave him a little leg kick. It made him laugh, which made you joyful.Â
Dean let go of your hand, gave you a long, odd smile, and checked his watch after making sure you were okay and being well taken care of. You could feel the joy leave your body when you realized he wasn't going to stay or anything. You had no idea how to get him to stay with you, at least for a day, at your home. Still, he was always on the move. It's fortunate that he didn't hear how quickly your heart was beating, how much you wanted his touch, and everything else.
You said in a hushed tone, as if you didn't give a damn whether he said âyes,â but you cared like crazy. âYou can spend the night in here if you wish.â
âI think I have other plans for tonight,â he remarked, flashing you his adorable grin and a wink. âWe move so much throughout the day. The town must have missed me.â
You chuckled slightly and said, "By whom exactly, Mr. Loverman?â You noticed that the rain was falling more quickly through the glass.Â
Dean gave you a haughty look and stated, âBy ladies, of course,â which made you jealous, but you didn't want to show it to him and ruin your friendship.
Playing with the fabric of your sweatpants, you said, âBoys. They come and go.â You attempted to ignore the vivid images of Dean with other women that were playing out in your head. It was unavoidable, but you didn't want to get jealous and mess up everything. âNew ones appear all the time. Don't be worried about the women who missed you.âÂ
He smiled and replied, âYou're a smartass, aren't you?â You felt encouraged to continue since he didn't appear to be offended or anything.
âAnd you're overconfident in yourself. Have you yet to be rejected by someone? Not even once?â You said it inquisitively.Â
âJust once,â Dean remarked humorously. It eluded you whether he was being serious or joking. At times, it was difficult to understand him.
You tried to chuckle as you remarked, âMust be fun.â  You sounded like you were going to choke though.
Dean spoke for a little while before attempting to get up and leave your home, but the electricity unexpectedly cut off, leaving you gasping in surprise. You backed away from him with a shy grin, not because you were afraid, just because you realized you had touched his knee.Â
You said, âAh, it doesn't look like the rain is going to stop soon,â and to your relief, he sat back on the seat. As it was pouring heavily, you expressed your gratitude to God and Michael for their generosity and compassion, which you felt had come once in a lifetime.
At least once, you prayed that night's rain would never cease so Dean wouldn't go.Â
"Yeah," he said in a dry voice. It was your hope that he wouldn't feel stuck with you and let down. Dean was aware that although you weren't terrified of ghosts, you were fearful of being alone yourself in the dark. âDo you want me to light a candle?â
You timidly replied, âI guess I don't have any.â
âAll right.â
âAre you still planning to leave or spend the night?â You tried not to seem enthusiastic as you asked, but with anticipation. You hoped that his ability to read your face in the dark would be poor.
âI suppose it's best if I stay with you. You're a lovely young girl who, in the end, is more terrified of the dark than ghosts. As a gentleman,â he murmured, moving to a more comfortable position on the coach. âIt's my responsibility to protect and repay you tonight, don't I?â
You laughed as though he had made a joke, but in reality, you were only finding it difficult to hide your happiness at his answer that he would stay. The angels seemed to fill your heart with such incredible bliss. If it would force him to spend his time with you in that manner, you may put yourself at ongoing risk. You wished he understood how much you valued each and every word he said.
âHow about you, though?â Dean asked out of the blue. Although his face was concealing himself in the darkness, you could tell by the tone of his words that he was perplexed.Â
You asked, perplexed, not understanding what he was talking about, âWhat about me?â
âI haven't seen you with...someone in a long time since you joined us,â he said. You may argue that he spoke slowly in order to carefully select his words so as not to offend you or cause you distress. âActually, I've never seen you with someone nor heard you talking about anyone.âÂ
You attempted to give him a confident smile, but all you managed to do was give him off an odd look. âUhm,â you stammered out while attempting to think of anything to say without looking foolish. âThose hunts are challenging and exhausting.â You attempted to explain to him, âI'm not interested in seeing someone right now, and I can't find time for myself.â You were hoping he wouldn't dig too much.
You werenât the best when it came to lying.Â
As if he wasn't okay with your explanation, he grumbled, âWe've been staying here for a month, and we are not even that busy.â
You wouldn't tell Dean that you were an inexperienced one in your mid-20s, as you knew he was very skilled with women. You just could not possibly make yourself look so foolish in front of him. You were unsure what he would think about you. Definitely, it was best to remain silent.
You said, âI'm just not interested and feel like I have no time for anyone,â trying not to sound like lying. Although it wasn't a total lie, how in the world could you admit that you were truly interested in someone, him, and that's the reason you weren't interested in anybody else?
You wanted he could read the words on your lips and your voice so you wouldn't have been trying so hard to explain things to him while hiding yourself away from him for so long.
Love was something that both wanted to be hidden and to be revealed. It was complicated and bizarre.
Dean finally responded, âYou're right, actually,â after giving you a long stare. âYou should avoid things that might distract the focus of your attention. Men might easily split your soft and lovely heart in half.â
You asked, irritated, âWhy do you say that?â You always believed that since you avoided people so well, nobody would ever consider hurting you or anything like that.
As he moved a little closer to you, Dean smirked and remarked, âLike you say,â which made you tense. You couldn't see him well, but his smile was joyful. Before continuing, he arched an eyebrow and nibbled his bottom lip. âI'm ladies' man. I read women really well, and you're easy to see through.â
You said to him, âYou really are a ladies' man. But I'd say you are illiterate.âÂ
Dean gave you a small chuckle and made the decision not to push you too far or make you feel more shy. And anyhow, he wouldn't allow you to talk about males, not right now. You did not require guidance since you did well on your own. âHey, I see that youâre a little sharp today. After taking care of your wounded hand, I made the decision to spend the night with you and look how you treat me. You're being ungrateful.â
He made a false furious look at you, and you couldn't stop laughing. âYou do realize, though, that I have once again saved your ass. I'm beginning to feel like you must repay me for acting as your guard. Like an angel.â You gave him a little smile and added, âThat means something, right?â
Dean said, âIt does,â with the same lighthearted tone as you, his eyes examining your face up close in the dark as your smile slowly faded from the corners of your lips.
You gasped in surprise and fright when an unexpected lightning strike struck with such force it seemed like the sky had been split in half. Dean laughed, seeing as how you really jumped on the coach.Â
âI can't believe you're not afraid of ghosts, witches and all, but just some raindrops,â he stated in astonishment. Your pulse beat like crazy when you felt his breath close to you, but Dean probably assumed it was because you were frightened.
Both of your arms and legs touched, but you tried not to react. âI'm not afraid of rainy weather or something,â you replied. âIt's normal to be jumpy when an unexpected noise like lightning appears.â
In an attempt to annoy you, Dean said in a persuasive voice, âIt was just simple lightning. Many things might come as unexpected. You can't always get scared.â
You said, âLike what things?â as if in plea.Â
You stared at his wonderfully shaped lips in the darkness as he spoke in a whisper. Your lips felt so dry that you wanted to lick them. Although you hoped he didn't notice, at that point you weren't really worried. Yes, you were a virgin with no prior experience, and you were very determined to keep your body and mind closed off to others, but things seemed different when you met Dean. It wasn't that you were old-fashioned-minded; you just wanted to be with someone you cared for, someone you loved.Â
You were aware that the desire to be near him was more than simply passion; you wanted to touch his face, jaw, hair, and every other part of him. Your soul yearned to be near him desperately.Â
Dean failed to notice when another lightning strike made you jump. It wasn't the finest moment for him to think clearly. There was always something enjoyable to do. Given that you've known each other for a while and that it must have been a while since you allowed someone to touch you, it seemed appropriate to blow off steam with each other. It was, after all, a difficult and somewhat tiresome a few hours earlier.Â
Just when you thought you were going to pass out, Dean suddenly captured your lips and began to give you an urgent, intense kiss. Yes, you were somewhat inexperienced, but at least you've had a kiss. Quite some time ago, indeed. You made an effort to calm down, returned his kisses with your best effort, let your racing thoughts disappear into the darkness, and gave yourself over to that single perfect moment.Â
You sucked Dean's lower lip, and your fingers stroked his jaw as his skillful tongue dominated yours. He must have been encouraged by your response because he moaned a bit as he shoved you back on the coach and pushed you to lie under him. He kept giving you firm kisses throughout.
His muscular neck was stroked by your hands as you drew him in between your knees. You shuddered as he put his body between your legs. It was the realization that your body was missing something that you were unable to identify. Your entire body exuded passion and desire. It hurt to need Dean so much. You had no idea how you had been able to contain yourself for so long.
You were longing to touch him all over.
Dean moved his lips to your throat, allowing you to take a deep breath. You were unable to contain a giggle as he violently sucked on your neck and throat. You realized you were sensitive there.
âDon't keep those lovely noises from me. Are we not the only ones alone in here?â While he boldly touched your skin beneath your shirt, Dean whispered. Though you urged yourself to relax down a little, you felt like your heart would burst at any minute.
It was possible that he might back off if you revealed to him that you were a virgin. It was certain that he would. You attempted to pretend that you had experience too and that it had simply been a long time because he was just interested in hook-ups, and that's what you were going to go through. It hurt to admit it, but maybe things would change.
You never would have imagined that you would feel that way about Dean, and you refused to miss the opportunity to be with him by telling him you weren't deflowered just yet. All you had to do was appear bold and avoid raising suspicion with your awkwardness.
Your cheeks flushed red, but at least the room was completely dark, keeping your almost scared gaze and timid finger movements hidden from him.
Your hands gently slipped inside his t-shirt, touching every muscle in so as to savor it. Your breath quivered with anticipation as your palm brushed every part of him. You could never let someone else touch you in the same manner that Dean did.Â
Dean's eyes were on you, and as he nibbled your lower lip, you urged him to remove his shirt. You could see he was smiling a little bit when he pulled it off. That you were prepared to go one step beyond thrilled him.Â
You must have pushed your injured hand a little bit hard when you gasped in little pain after both of your hands reached his back and you enjoyed the feeling of his muscles beneath your palms.Â
âHey, be careful and take your time there. Remember that all you are is a wounded gazelle under my mercy. Youâre a greedy one, arenât you?â As he worked on your clothing, Dean said in amusement.
You moaned in surprise as one of his hands slipped into your shirt and gave you a strong grip on your nipple. âMaybe I am,â you murmured, almost laughing, but the noise you made turned into a moan.Â
You made a little movement beneath him. It seemed as though your body needed something from you or him, but you were completely unaware of what was going on. All you knew was that you were desperate for Dean to do something.Â
You gasped somewhat alarmed as your nipple hardened between his skilled fingertips. As he slid on top of you and played with your tits, you got excited more and more, assuming that he wanted this as much as you did. You thought for a moment that it was actually romantic considering it was all dark and raining like hell outside, like the whole heaven wanted you to be with him.
You nailed Dean's back with boldness, crushed your lips to his once more, kissing him with desire while trying your hardest not to show Dean how shy you were in fact. It relieved you to hear him groan a bit in your mouth. You moaned quietly into his lips as soon as his thumb started playing with your nipples once again.Â
Dean moved quickly to help you remove your shirt by pulling back. You were shivering a little, but even though he was making your skin hot, you would have blamed the room's cool temperature if he had asked.
His lips made their way to your nipples, where he expertly sucked them with his tongue. Your back arched as his lips nibbled your breasts delicately, and you forgot about your envious thoughts about how many other women he had treated like this. This time, you were unable to stop your loud moan from filling the room.Â
Dean gave both of your nipples little licks and a firm kiss after sucking your tits for many minutes, making them slippery with his spit, and making you cry out beneath his body. You didn't know how pleasurable it was to be with someone doing such things.You were aware that you were attempting to create friction by placing your leg on his hip.Â
He whispered to your lips, âI bet you're fucking dripping there,â as his hands gently moved into your sweatpants. He was trying to see every expression on your face in the dark. His voice was rough as he asked, âAre you wet enough to take me?â
You managed to say something like âHmm,â which is sufficient. âI think I am.âÂ
âWe must be sure,â Dean remarked in a lighthearted manner. âLet's see.âÂ
Dean slid his fingers slowly inside your sweatpants. He was grinning a little over you when he heard your heartbeat. As you waited for what was going to happen, you gripped onto his shoulder.
His fingers touched your underwear, causing you to gasp in surprise as he gave you a soft touch. Every second, you felt like you were becoming wetter. You believed you might orgasm at any minute since your clit was so sensitive to him. You wanted more because of how ethereal and gentle his hands were. You needed to raise your hip to him and squeeze his bisceps in order to receive what your body craved.Â
Satisfied, Dean moved your underwear aside as he watched you twitch under him in desperation. He rubbed your clit some more, then used two fingers to feel how wet you were.Â
Dean kept pushing back on his groan. He said in surprise, âFuck, I knew you'd be wet, but you are literally leaking there.â You had no idea whether or not it satisfied him. All you wanted to do was the right thing. Regardless of what it was.Â
You lied when you said, âIt's been very, very long,â since you had no idea what to say. The way he responded truly made you feel a little awkward.Â
You felt better after sharing quick kisses on the lips with him. âGood,â was Dean's sharp reply. âHow many times can I get you to come to me tonight? You deserve appropriate treatment in light of the effort you have been doing these last few months, you know. I must reward you.â
Encouraged, you had a blossoming sensation of bliss and anticipation in your chest. You wished that light would never return and that you and him would always be in the dark together in that very moment.
He touched you during hunts and other times to make jokes, but you didn't used to be physical like that. Watching him being intimate with other women except you was agonizing. But now you knew you could touch him whatever you pleased right now. Just like you imagined when you thought about him, you touched yourself.Â
Dean palmed your moisture in his hand, causing you to both pant into each other's mouths. You felt a little uneasy as one of his fingers began to gently press into your entrance since you weren't sure if it would hurt that much or not. You just didn't tell him anything since you didn't want to spoil things. All you did was wait expectantly.
He said, âYou're a tight one, aren't you?â as he kept his finger inside of you. You were glad Dean wasn't being swift with you. You withdrew your lips from biting and captured his, pushing him into doing what he needed or desired as well.Â
Dean expected that you would be tight, but he didn't anticipate that level of tightness. He was taken aback by how tightly your walls clamped around his finger, and he couldn't help getting thrilled at the thought of feeling your cock around him. He was shivering with excitement coursing through his veins.Â
You bit your lip hard in pain as he pressed his thick finger a little further. You didn't make any sound that might have stopped him. Dean would stop in an instant, you knew.Â
He must have realized how uncomfortable you were, though, because he began to touch your clit more in an effort to prepare you to become accustomed to him and make you wet enough to take him.Â
As he worked on your clit, he remarked, somewhat smirking, âIt seems we need to get you ready for me; otherwise, it might be painful a bit for you.â
âI'm prepared. Really,â you said, lifting your hips in the course of action. âYou can go on.â
Dean groaned a bit and pressed his finger inside again. He used extreme caution. You whimpered and attempted to make yourself quiet by stealing kisses from him to silence your whimpers.Â
Dean withdrew his finger and then thrust it back, not allowing you to say something. His abrupt movement caused your lips to parted in pleasure and enthusiasm. Even though there was still some discomfort, it was soon overshadowed by pleasure and desire as he began to properly finger you. You grabbed onto his shoulders because your pussy hurt from yearning. You tried to put your groaning mouth into Dean's, but he wouldn't let you kiss him.Â
You could not help but let a moan out in ecstasy as your back arched when he gently pushed another finger and began to fuck you with them. You made a valiant effort, but it was impossible to avoid coming so quickly and effortlessly.
Dean moaned, âGive it to me,â realizing that you were making it difficult to come. âCome to me now. You're almost there; I know that.â
As soon as your climax hit, Dean grabbed your lips and planted a passionate kiss on it as he touched your chin with one hand, allowing you to ride your pleasure in between moans.Â
Your hips rose to get more pleasure as though you could, your back arched, and your walls clenched hard as you rode your climax. Dean's experienced tongue expertly dominated yours as he murmured into your lips. He withdrew to give you a bit of time, and while he did so, he studied your face in the darkness, as if he wanted to remember each and every shadow that passed across your skin in the flickering light.Â
He was at a loss as to why he had never touched you before. For a while, at least, it felt pleasant enough to become sidetracked.Â
Your cheeks became scarlet as your climax wore on, but you were itching to go one step more. For that, you were ready. For a long while, you had been ready to give Dean everything.Â
If he asked, there was nothing you wouldn't give away.Â
You planted a hesitant kiss on him to gauge his reaction before your shaky hands made contact with his legs and through his trousers. You could see more of his face as your eyes grew used to the gloom. Your hands became braver as you watched him smile, and boldness invaded your body and thoughts. The sexual experience shouldn't be difficult. Particularly with him.
Shortly after your hand briefly ran over his hardened cock through his trousers, your fingers somewhat slid into his boxer. You were taking your time to gauge his reaction. You were hoping he wouldn't say no, draw a line, or worse, end it up.
You yearned to offer him the same pleasure that he gave you.
In a weak but hopeful voice, you asked, âCan I touch you?â
With a charming chuckle, Dean added, âYou can do whatever you like.â His voice carried expectation, which made you thrilled even more.
You reached out and stroked his erect cock, feeling that it was safe to go a step further and meet his gaze with yours. His sly smile vanished from his mouth as he stifled a moan and shifted on top of you, his hand still resting on your thighs and legs.Â
He said, âIt seems like you're cold,â as soon as you began to touch him.Â
You retracted your icy hand in an ashamed attempt to mumble a âsorry,â but Dean reacted swiftly and put your hand back to his aching cock.Â
He responded, âWe'll get you warm,â and helped you put your hand around his cock to feel closer to him and to give you the confidence to continue. âYour hand feels so good around me.â
Driven by his words, you felt each vein on his cock and then circled your fingers around it to memorize him. You weren't familiar with his length or anything because you weren't an expert on male anatomy, but he was thick, so it was difficult to properly wrap your hands around him. You reasoned that it would be best to take some action to get him to come.Â
You moved your hands and began to rub him, trying not to feel shy as you stared into his eyes. Your chest was rising with excitement, and your breathing was heavy. His gasping for air made you pleased and aroused; all you had to do was give him the same pleasure.Â
Dean told you, âYou're doing so good,â in between strokes.Â
You inquired quietly, âDo you like it?â
âI really like it,â Dean said as he planted a kiss on your neck. He paused at your sweatpants and began to carefully lower them with his hands.Â
Your hands were moving more quickly on him, and your heart was racing. He felt larger in your grip. He was nearly there. But Dean gently stopped you, pushing your hands aside and planting a kiss on your lips. You sensed that the big move was about to happen.
He saw you were becoming stiff as he assisted you in taking down your sweatpants and underwear, so he questioned you suspiciously, âAre you nervous?â
You lied once more while waiting for him to remove his clothing. âNo, of course, not,â you said. When he removed his boxer, you could have practically felt the chills beneath you. You had everything you had on the floor. âIt's just cold in here.â
âTrust me, you'll feel warm very soon,â said Dean confidently. His tone had hints of dedication.Â
You shifted slightly beneath him to find a more comfortable position. Luckily, there was plenty of room in the coach. You put your hands on Dean's back, feeling his hardness on your stomach, and you waited for him to do something already. Though plainly aroused and moist, you were still a little anxious. You
didn't want to come seem as inexperienced, though. You wished for this to keep going.Â
âI do trust you.â That was true at least.Â
Dean believed you.
While you waited, he took his cock and gave himself two or three strokes. Witnessing him stroking himself got you even more aroused.
Dean positioned himself on your entrance, making you tense up a little, then brushed his hard cock on your clit after making sure you were both ready. But you were determined to see it through to the end. It was almost like a chance to win him over in a romantic way. Maybe.
He pressed the tip of his cock, and you laid your hands on his back and nailed him like crazy. He was able to slide inside you very easily because of how wet you were, yet it was still uncomfortable and painful.
You bit your lip to suppress your agonizing groans and not to make him stop, so as not to seem like a wounded animal or anything.
Dean groaned over you, âFuck, you are really tight,â pausing just before pulling away. It was difficult for him to fit inside completely.
You whispered to him, embarrassed, âSorry,â attempting to calm down and let him in.
âJust relax,â Dean said, taking another position. You nodded to him quickly.Â
He again pushed his cock inside of you. This time, your pussy was around him tightly, drawing him within. He let out a sigh of delight at that. Your eyes welled up with tears as he withdrew and used a forceful motion to push himself forward. It was as though he was slicing you in two. Thankfully, he was unaware that a few tears had trickled down from your eyes onto the coach. However, you were unable to cease whimpering in pain.Â
Dean sensed when you were ready and gave himself a single, full thrust. You nailed his belly and back and moaned in agony this time because of his harsh moment.Â
You were no longer a virgin while you were lying beneath him. Even though the man you loved was unaware that you had given him something unique, you knew that no matter what happened, you would never regret it.Â
âAre you okay?â Dean asked. He could not believe how tight you were. Your walls were drawing him in, constricting around him all the while. If he was less experienced, he would have come inside you as soon as he entered your pussy.Â
âI am,â you urged him to continue, your voice quivering. âJust give me a moment, please.â
Dean gave you a kiss to help you relax. He saw that you were a bit anxious and that you needed to wet yourself a little more before you could handle him. He was sure sloppy kisses would be helpful.
Dean stepped back after a while and questioned, âAre you ready now?â You were clenching around him, and his patience was getting thin.
You nodded to him, and Dean retreated and pushed inside again without waiting another moment. The way he fucked you was rough and painful for you. You didn't complain though, even if it was hard to get used to his size and pace in such a short amount of time. He moved slowly at first, but as you got wetter beneath him, he accelerated his pace.
Dean moaned, âYou're taking me so well,â while fucking you in a rough way. His delighted tone and praises made your heart sing. âI like how tight you are.â
You only said, "For you." His compliments caused the anguish to become joy, and this time you didn't suppress your moans. You had no idea that you would enjoy this so much.Â
âOh yeah?â he said, teasing as he whispered into your neck, picking up speed. âYou sound so sweet. Do you like the way I fuck you? I should have fucked your lovely tight cunt sooner.â
Your face turned red the moment he spoke dirty words into your ear. They were about how much he liked fucking you everything else. The whole room was filled with sloppy and obscene sounds that made you blush with shyness. You were becoming even more excited at the sound of his heavy balls hitting your pussy. You began to tighten up around him. Although you were trying to hold back to extend the moment, you were getting close.Â
âThis won't take long,â he groaned, getting his fingers tense around your flesh. It was difficult for Dean to control himself. You were tightening around him, whimpering beneath him. âCome to me. Come now!â
When Dean moved around a little inside of you, he started to fuck you harder and find your sensitive spot. With a groan, âTake it. Come on,â he said, fucking you senseless.Â
You reached your climax and clenched him with his name on your lips as your screams became louder and you were unable to contain yourself any longer. Dean proceeded to fuck you throughout your climax by lifting your hips and drawing his body to you in order to receive more pleasure. You believed you might come again right there since your pussy was throbbing so much.Â
After Dean made sure you rode your orgasm, he let out a deep grumble, pulled out his cock in between your startled gasps, and began to stroke himself. You became excited by his stroking himself on top of you, even though you had just rode your climax.Â
When Dean began to empty himself on your thigh and stomach, you jumped. You waited for him to empty himself as you saw him spill his hot white ropes all over your body. You glared in shock as you watched him riding his pleasure.
You were no longer a virgin there, under him. It had happened. You were aware that he was only a friend and that the situation was really a bit awkward. You waited for remorse to surface, thinking that nothing would change with him, but it didn't. You didn't feel any sign of regret. Giving something unique to a loved one, even if it held no significance for them, was never wrong. After all, love was generous, and it always needed to consume the untouched places of your body and spirit.
With a low grunt, Dean moved your bodies on the coach and, to your astonishment, embraced you. It was obvious that he was satisfied. Dean grabbed the blanket that was hanging from the coach's corner and laid it over your bodies. You trembled as the heat took the place of the cold. You simply drew nearer to him to enjoy the moment because you had no idea what to do. You pondered whether this would occur once again.Â
Jokingly, you said, âWhat now?â Still, a lot of questions raced through your head.
Dean sighed and said, âIt's pretty late and seems like the rain won't stop any soon, so let's sleep.â You remained silent regarding what had transpired.Â
Saying, âOkay,â you leaned into his embrace and made an effort to keep as close to him as you could. The thrill you had just had began to gradually fade away, leaving you alone yourself with despair and sadness.Â
Dean remarked, âBy the way,â before he closed his eyes. âLet's not talk about this to Sam or someone else, alright?â Though gentle and soothing, his words were sharp and cut you through.Â
You said, âSure,â immediately away. âOf course not.âÂ
As though nothing had occurred and you weren't naked in each other's arms, you told each other good night. Although it was awkward, you made the choice. When you made the decision to go all the way with him, you knew that was what would happen.Â
You got out of bed before Dean did, picked up your clothes from the floor, and headed to the bathroom for a long shower. Whatever is done is done. It was irreversible; you convinced yourself. Nothing was a regret for you. You were relieved that it only happened with Dean. It was the appropriate decision for you to keep the details from him. He wasn't made to feel oppressed by you or anything. This would ruin the friendship and also ruin you.Â
Dean also woke up, and you two didn't chat much after that. You felt a little uncomfortable, but as soon as Dean returned to his lighthearted demeanor, you felt at ease and acted naturally. When you saw he didn't put distance between you, you felt relaxed.Â
That's how three weeks went by. Everything was well.Â
Following a disastrous hunt that left Sam with an arm injury, you enter their home and assist Sam in taking care of his arm. The hunt this time was challenging, and you were distracted.Â
Sam was giving you and Dean one of his puppy looks. You felt terrible.Â
With remorse, you murmured, âI'm sorry, Sam.â He injured his harm in order to protect you, yet he didn't blame you for anything. You have probably never met someone as kind as he was.Â
He said, âIt's okay,â and made an agonizing moan as you carefully cleansed his arm.Â
Dean snapped, âIt's not,â in a harsh voice. He was across the room, observing Sam and you. He had his fists crossed over his chest, obviously frustrated with the current state of things. After all, Sam was his brother. âThere, you should have been careful. Sam could have hurt badly because of you.â
âI know,â you said, panicked. âYou are right.â
âI don't think so,â Dean stated sharply, glancing at Sam's injured arm. âYou've been distracted for a while. I attempted to ignore it and hide the mistakes you made, but today they could end up killing Sam.â
Your pulse raced, and you felt guilty as you proceeded to handle Sam's arm carefully. As he persisted in blaming you, you found it difficult to contain your emotions.Â
âIt won't happen again,â you stated in a tremulous tone while keeping your gaze on Sam's arm.Â
âIt's alright. Dean, please stop being so grumpy,â Sam eventually pleaded in an insistent voice.
âYou shut up,â Dean said, gesturing to Sam as if he were a little child. In fact, you were aware that he remained a child in Dean's eyes.
As you began to wrap a white cloth around Sam's injured arm, he groaned and pressed his groan back. âYou're being annoying right now,â he said.
âI'm going to be more annoying if you two keep acting like this, you know.â
You said, âI'm really sorry,â and you gave Dean and Sam sincere looks. âIt really won't happen again.â
Dean nodded at you quickly and sighed. However, it was clear that he was frustrated with you. âHe's all I have.â
âI know.â
You and Sam didn't say anything further about what had transpired. Thankfully, despite his curious and suspicious stare, he remained silent. To get better, you had to gather yourself. But it was challenging. You questioned whether being near Dean worked as a deterrent for him to stay away from you.Â
A week went by, and Dean came home with a blonde woman by his side as you and Sam were spending the night in the house eating pies and watching a movie.
Jealousy took over you, but you smiled and greeted them instead of pulling a grouchy face and making a scene. Dean's hookups and lovers became routine to you. The things that had happened weeks ago weren't important, even if it was hard to admit. Not a word about it was spoken.Â
Last several days, Dean had been annoyed, but when he kissed the blonde, he was a completely different person. Happier, more relaxed. Though your heart was pounding from pain and suffering, your gaze remained riveted on the TV. It was pathetic how much you wanted to be her. It was a hard swallow.Â
When she, Dean, or Sam told you something, you smiled and engaged in conversation so as not to arouse suspicion. They eventually made their way to Dean's room, and this is when your eyes started to well up with tears. You were unable to stop it. You uttered a little sound as your heart gripped with so much agony and suffering. You had no idea why. It might all have been different, but it wasn't.
Sam saw your eyes become wetter in the light, and he gave you a dubious look, but none of you said anything.Â
You longed to travel back in time as soon as you heard it began to rain outside. This time, you weren't fond of the rain or how it felt.Â
Next Chapter
A/N: I hope you like it. Let me know what you think, please. Â ^^
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fic#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester one shot#dean winchester x female!reader#dean winchester x you#dean x reader#dean x y/n#dean x you#supernatural fanfiction#spn fanfic#supernatural fic#supernatural smut#supernatural x reader#supernatural#heavy angst#tumblr fanfic#jensen ackles fanfiction#jensen ackles fic#jensen ackles x reader#supernatural x you#jensen ackles smut#dean winchester#fanfiction#angst#jensen ackles#dean x female!reader#dean winchester angst#Spotify
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
Chapter four âď¸ Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness
Warnings: angst, mentions of death, mentions of loss, allusions to depression, fear of loss, hurt/comfort. reader calls her sister 'twinkie', mentions of abuse, mentions of sex
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: As Steve shows up on your doorsteps with an apology, you let him see more of just the you he already knows
Word count: 7.6k+
Author's note: shoutout to my co-writer (shut up, you wrote the dialogues and ideas with me, don't say anything) @hellfire--cult
Series Masterlist âď¸ Previous Chapter âď¸ Next Chapter
âĄ
Breathe in. Breathe out.
His heart was pounding, his body was shaking, his eyes wide, blinking rapidly as he stared at the same exact spot. The dried blood on his hands was starting to make him feel sick. It was Eddieâs blood. He hadnât cleaned it off yet, he was still in shock, still in pain after what they had all gone through.Â
Eddie made it, he was going to be okay, his injuries were bad and he was losing blood, a lot of blood, but he would be okay. And yet, Steve had felt anything but it.Â
He almost lost a friend, he almost lost Max, he almost lost⌠you.Â
He was sitting down beside you, though he couldnât bring himself to look up and face you. You looked so⌠dead. Your skin lost its color, and the bandage around your head was new, yet there was a blood stain already. The machines were beeping beside you, it was the only sound in the room.Â
And then the door opened, only then did he lift his head to look up, expecting it to be your parents or maybe your sister but it was only Nancy. A cup of coffee from the machine outside in her hand, a sad look still resting on her features.Â
âHey,â she whispered as she walked towards him, handing him the cup, âhere, I didnât know what you liked so I just got you a regular coffee.â
Theyâd been together for over a year and she couldnât even remember what he liked. Should he even be surprised? No. A small thing like this still managed to hurt him.Â
âThanks, Nance,â he mumbled as he tried to give her a smile. He reached for the cup, ignoring the way it felt when his fingers brushed hers, how his heart had fluttered despite her rejection only a few hours back.Â
She cleared her throat and looked away, sitting down at the end of the bed, she looked at you.Â
He took a sip of the hot coffee as he leaned back in the chair, he avoided looking at you still, instead he kept his focus on her, the way he always did. There was disbelief, anger and sadness flashing in her eyes as she stared at you.Â
âI canât believe that Jason did that to her,â she whispered, âI knew I saw something in his eyes, I just didnât think that he was this violent.âÂ
Steve nodded.Â
He too was still in disbelief.Â
You survived the night in the upside down, you fought off bats, didnât even bat an eye when one of them got you good, but Jason, you almost didnât survive him. And Steve felt so much rage as he sat there and thought of the guy that almost murdered you.Â
âYeah, me neither.â
There are monsters in different dimensions, in dark worlds, ones that do not know of a different way of living, they exist to kill because it is in their nature. But sometimes there are worse monsters, ones that hide behind kind eyes, ones that are raised into a world that should be more humane but because of them, it never will be. This world will always be just as dark as all the other ones that exist in secret. Jason was one of the monsters that got to you.Â
This world is a hell just like the ones he and his friends had been dragged into but thereâs still kindness left, peace and order. Though, Steve couldnât help but wonder what this world would have turned into if Vecna had won.Â
He would have brought endless war and chaos on this planet and people would have followed, they would have turned against each other so quickly. Everything would have crumbled into pieces.Â
Shivers ran down his spine as he thought of what couldâve happened had they not stopped him. You were a part of it all, you helped in stopping him, had you not been at the Creel house, things couldâve gone sideways so easily.Â
âHey,â Steve whispered, clearing his throat. âThank you⌠You know, for jumping into the water and saving my ass back there.â
Nancy furrowed her brows, a soft laugh fell from her lips, she looked away from you and turned to face him, shaking her head a little.Â
âEveryone did.. And, she did first. She jumped first on the boat and she jumped first into the water, then I followed, then Robin and then Eddie.âÂ
His eyes widened, flashed with confusion as he tilted his head at her.Â
âHuh? Who jumped first?âÂ
Nancyâs blue eyes were filled with confusion, her bangs fell in front of her eyes as she turned back to you, saying your name.Â
You were the first to jump.Â
You were the one to go after him first.Â
You wanted to save him.Â
How could he throw such horrible words at you after what you had done for him? After risking your life to save him?Â
He wouldnât even be able to begin to describe the guilt that kept him up all night. He wanted nothing more than to drive over to your place and apologize, even if he would have to drop to his knees, he would.Â
But Max had told him that it was better to wait, to give you the time that you need, so thatâs what he did. But he was going crazy, the guilt and the regret were eating at him, making him feel worse and worse with each passing second.Â
Going to work that day had been torture as well, he was nervous and restless, he kept bouncing his knee and tapping his pen against the unmarked crossword in front of him. His mind was forcing him to think of you, of the look in your eyes, of the tears and the hurt. He felt so awful, he felt like King Steve again and he is someone he despises, just the way he despises himself, right this second.Â
Robin told him to leave before he could even finish his shift, knowing that all he wanted was to set things straight, to make things right with you.Â
And here he is now, standing on your porch with a racing heart and sweaty palms.Â
He doesnât know how you will react to seeing him here, but knowing you, he is certain that you will slam the door in his face â heâd deserve it.Â
He rang the doorbell once before, but you didnât open it. He wonders if you saw his car in your driveway already. He rings it again, hoping for you to open, hoping for you to give him a chance so he can⌠try, try to make it up to you.Â
He tugs at his hair, feeling more and more stressed the longer it takes you to open. As he stands there, staring at the wooden door, he realizes that itâs only the second time that he stands here, on your porch, on the doorsteps of a big house, just as big as the one he lives in, if not bigger. The inside of your home is just as much of a mystery to him as you are.Â
Steve knows nothing about you, absolutely nothing and he still opened his mouth and threw words at you that you didnât deserve â even when you pushed him, even when you were being mean to him, you had never sunk so low just to hurt him, not once.Â
After he got all this anger off his chest, you were no longer the girl he saw before, you were someone else, someone vulnerable, someone heartbroken and that hurt even more to think about.Â
He gets pulled out of his thoughts when you finally open the door. He snaps his head up and his eyes meet yours for the first time that day.Â
He had seen you in a bad state before, after your fight with Jason Carver, after the surgery that saved your life, you looked bad. Your skin was marked with bruises and scars, you had that traumatized look in your eyes that no one dared to even mention. You barely ate or talked for the first few days, whether it was because of the surgery or the trauma that Carver had left you with, you were in a bad, bad state.Â
But he had never seen you like this before.Â
Not even the sadness from last night was this strong as the one in your eyes now. They are glassy, a mix of anger and hurt swirling in them. Your lips are puffy just like your eyes, from all the crying. Your hair is messy, a big hoodie that doesnât even seem to belong to you hanging loosely on your form.Â
Another pang of guilt hits him at the sight of you.Â
You stare at each other for a long moment before you try to slam the door shut again, but he jumps forward, pressing his palm against it, âBlondie, please! I just want to talk!âÂ
He hears your sniffle, like youâre trying not to cry again. You stop pushing against the door but you donât pull away either, you donât let him see you.Â
âThereâs nothing to talk about,â he hears you say.Â
âI-I just want to apologize, I was an asshole to you and you didnât deserve it. I messed up.. fuck..â He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling desperate to fix this between you two, âIâm sorry, Iâm really fucking sorry, Blondie.âÂ
âY-Youâre forgiven, now please leave..â
The weakness in your voice makes him feel like the worst person alive, knowing that he is the cause of your suffering, right now.Â
How did you feel last night?Â
âNo,â he begs, shaking his head as though you could see him, âplease just let me in, I-I want to talk to you, I want to fix it, please let me fix it.âÂ
You are silent on the other side of the door, you donât move, you donât speak. You hesitate. And it feels like forever that he stands here with a pounding heart, willing you to open the door and let him see you, talk to you.Â
Without a word, you open the door and you step aside, crossing your arms over your chest.Â
He swallows the lump in his throat, blinking as he takes in the sight of you, once again.Â
You stare at him with both impatience and annoyance now, wanting to get this over with quickly, while he wants time â time with you.Â
He had never felt such desperation before, especially now that he sees you.Â
âThereâs nothing to fix, itâs okay, you told me what youââ
He says your name, and he says it so desperately that it shuts you up.Â
âI wonât leave until I can properly apologize to you.âÂ
You blink, your upper lip twitches and you take a moment, staring at him for what feels like forever until you nod.Â
âFine..â
âCan I come in?â
âYeah,â you whisper.Â
He takes a deep breath before he steps inside the house he has never been in before, he closes the door behind him and he canât help but look around, taking in the sight of the big hallway, the wide stairs are on the right side, pictures hang on the wall all the way up to the second floor, there is one that is slightly bigger than the others, and even from afar, he recognizes you â you are no older than twelve in that picture, you wore a wide smile on your face, pigtails that were tied with pink bows at the end, you were wearing a dress and you looked happy in a way he had never seen before. Your big sister was next to you, holding your hand as your parents stood behind you both, the smiles were genuine, even on their faces.Â
Only as he stares at the picture, does he realize that he has never actually seen your parents before.Â
âAre your parents home?â He asks without looking at you, still questioningÂ
You hesitate.Â
âNo⌠I uh, do you want something to drink?â You ask awkwardly, not knowing what else to say or do.
Steve is too busy staring at the picture, trying to remember your parents, wondering why they didnât come to visit you at the hospital, only your sister came to see you.
When he looks down at you, away from the picture of the girl that once looked so happy, he now sees a broken one, for the first time, he sees past those glares and cold looks.Â
He runs his fingers through his hair.Â
âI-Iâm sorry⌠Iâm really sorry about all the awful shit I said to you last night, I was angry a-and I let it out on you and you did not deserve this, you really didnât deserve any of the words I threw at you.âÂ
You blink, and you press your lips together just like you did before, just like you did last night.Â
âItâs okayââ
âNo, I said things that I had no clue about and I never wanna do that again. I just, I want to understand you.. I want to get to know you because.. fuck, Iâm realizing how much Iâm hurting you.â
Your eyes soften and you genuinely look surprised at his words, eyeing him as you stay silent.Â
You donât blame him, heâs not at fault, not entirely. He knows nothing about you or your life, so how could he know that those words would cause so much damage?Â
You carry guilt, just like he does.Â
You both kept throwing knives at each other, hitting one target after the other but you were both blindfolded to the pain you were causing to each other.Â
You shift, pulling at the sleeves of the sweater you are wearing, you close your eyes for one second, taking a deep breath, before you open them again and look up at Steve.Â
âWhat do you want to know?â You ask, surprising him with your words.Â
He expected you to be more stubborn than this, but you seem willing to let him get to know you, the real you.Â
âAnything you want to give me really.. so⌠I just want to stop hurting you without me realizing it⌠I donât⌠I need to stop hurting you, Blondie.â
You look at him, really look at him, and you notice that he looks just as bad as you do. His hair is messy â a very unusual sight for him. He has dark circles under his eyes, like he hasnât slept all night and his eyes are filled with guilt.
With a sigh, you tilt your head into the direction of the living room, motioning him to follow. You turn on the lamp on the dresser, making the room appear lighter, itâs gloomy outside and the rain has been falling all morning, it only just stopped.Â
âSit,â you mumble, pointing to the couch, âwait here.âÂ
He nods at you and sits down, he watches you leave the room again and listens to your footsteps as you make your way upstairs. He looks around, there are fewer pictures around here, though still enough for him to get curious about your parents again. Thereâs a bouquet of fresh flowers on the small table in front of him â Daisies. A throw blanket lays on the other end of the couch, an open book next to it, were you reading when he got here?
It doesnât take you long to come back into the room.Â
Steveâs brows furrow a little when he sees the shoebox in your hand, you place it in front of him and take a deep breath as you look into his eyes, pointing to the box.Â
âHereâs everything you need to know about me.â
His lips part at your words.Â
âYou can look, Iâll tell you anything you want to know and then we can⌠move past all of this and go back to the way things were before yesterday.âÂ
He blinks, noticing how your shoulders slumped a little, you donât want to go back to the way things were, and neither does he. He enjoys the bickering but not when it means that he is hurting you.Â
You break eye contact, and turn around, âIâm gonna get us something to drink, feel free to look..âÂ
And with that, you leave again and Steve, he stares at the box for a while, feeling like he is about to intrude, despite you telling him to open it, to look inside, he still feels like he is intruding. But his curiosity gets the best of him, he removes the lid carefully and puts it down on the table.Â
Polaroid Pictures.Â
So many of them. The box is filled, all the way up to the top with pictures of friends and family. The first one that catches his eye is the one of you and Max. He reaches for it, bringing it closer. You are both smiling into the camera, Max is wearing her red sunglasses and you are wearing your heart shaped ones, an ice cream cone in her hand and a can of diet pepsi in yours â he canât help but smile as he stares at it, you looked so happy.Â
The date was written under the picture, with a pink sharpie: May 7th 1985.Â
He places the picture down, reaching for the next one.Â
This one doesnât have you on it, only your sister, with a black cat on her lap â Luna, the catâs name was Luna, he overheard you talking about her to Max. And your sister, he doesnât remember her actual name, only the nickname you called her when she came to see you at the hospital; Twinkie. He almost laughed at that, the first time he heard it.
The next one is one of you and your dad at the beach, he recognizes him from the picture in the hallway. Both of you were holding surfboards. Your eyes shone with happiness, a bright grin on your face, your dadâs arm was wrapped around your shoulder. In this picture, you looked even happier than in the one from last year. â This one was taken in the summer of 1981, you were only fourteen.Â
He flinches a little when you place a soda can in front of him, âhere, I found some coke in the fridge, figured youâd prefer that.âÂ
He raises his brows and then looks at the pepsi youâre holding in your hand.Â
âOh, thanks,â he mumbles, trying to smile.Â
You nod at him as you sit down beside him, looking at the picture that heâs holding.Â
âWe spent the summer in California, my parents had a summer house in Monterey.âÂ
âHad?â
You nod.Â
âYeah,â you whisper as sadness takes over your features, a sadness he hadnât seen before. Itâs not the kind that he had seen last night. Itâs one that reminds him of grief, like the one on Maxâs face when she mentions Billy.Â
Oh no.Â
âMy sister sold it last year, I asked her not to but.. for some reason that house gave her more painful memories than this one,â you say as you gesture to the room you sit in, you lean forward, placing your drink on the table as you reach for a picture in the box, âthat was.. that was two weeks before they uh.. got into an accident.âÂ
You hand him a picture but he canât look at it yet, too busy staring at you and at the way you try to hide the tears in your eyes.Â
Steveâs heart aches in his chest, the guilt eating at him like never before.Â
âI-Iâm so sorry, Blondie,â he whispers as he slowly looks down at the picture, at your parents who both smiled into the camera. That one was also taken in the summer of 1981.
Steve started to feel a little sick as the seconds went by, at each picture that he looked at.
âTwinkie and I took the flight back with our grandparents, we wanted to spend one more week with them in Indianapolis before going back to Hawkins, we didnât know that this would be the last time weâd ever see them.âÂ
His heart no longer aches at your words, it breaks for you. He didnât know this, he never knew anything about you. You lost your parents when you were so young, right before your first year in high school.Â
Now he understands why you had always looked so.. lost.Â
Why you had been so rude and unapproachable. You pushed people away while you were grieving, you didnât want anyone to see.
He doesnât know what to say, no words will give you the comfort that you still clearly need.Â
âI-I never knew.â
You chuckle as you look at him, still blinking away those tears, âI didnât want anyone to know, especially not when it just happened.â
âWhy not?â
âIâd forever be the girl that lost her parents, and honestly, Iâd rather have the whole school hate me than give me pitiful looks.â
âOf course,â he mumbles, shaking his head at you.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âNothing,â he shrugs, running his fingers through his messy hair after he puts the picture down, âyouâre just so⌠I donât know, itâs just.. classic you.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â You ask, not with anger in your voice but with curiosity.Â
âWell, youâd rather have the whole world hate you than let them see you vulnerable.âÂ
You shake your head at him and his eyes meet yours as he turns back. There is that look in your eyes, the one that reminds him that he doesnât know anything about you.Â
âI let some see.âÂ
Right. Some.Â
He nods and looks away.Â
Heâs surely not one of those that you let see.
When he reaches for the next picture, he freezes, staring at the two little girls with wide eyes. Itâs not hard to figure out who the one next to you is. Strawberry blonde hair, the two front teeth way too big for the small face, she was wearing a cheerleader costume â not knowing that she wouldâve become cheer captain years later. Chrissy Cunningham.Â
The girl next to you was Chrissy, you were hugging each other from the side, giggling.Â
He looks at you, you were wearing a fairy costume, green and pink colors on the dress, and your smile was big. You looked happy.Â
He shakes his head a little, not understanding what he sees in front of him.Â
He had never seen you and Chrissy around each other, not even once. In fact, he rarely ever saw you around anyone for that matter. Sometimes he saw you talking to Jonathan, something that gave him more of a reason to dislike you back then, heâd throw the word âfreaksâ at the two of you whenever he passed by you. The memories of that fill him with guilt and regret, he always wishes that he could turn back time and change things, change the way he acted.Â
But he never ever saw you even talking to Chrissy.
He slowly turns to face you, holding up the polaroid, ây-you and Chrissy knew each other?â
You only glance at the picture before you look down, âyeah, we were childhood best friends, we grew apart but⌠we still kept in touch. Sheâd stay over sometimes.â you explain, not meeting his eyes.
You lost your parents. You lost a friend.Â
His words from last night echo in his mind and the guilt crashes over him, harder than before.Â
No words appear before him, what can he say that will make you feel better in the slightest? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.Â
But the monsters have gotten to her without her knowing about them.
Thatâs what Max had told him. Now he understands. Even more so, when a different picture catches his eye, one that shocks him even more than the previous one.Â
Only this time, he doesnât just freeze, he feels a shiver running down his spine and his chest feels weird, all of a sudden. Because the guy in the picture isnât someone he ever expected you around with.Â
He takes it, between his thumb and his forefinger, bringing it closer with a shaky hand. He blinks, like he canât believe what he is seeing, but itâs real, itâs so very real. No amount of blinking will transform the guy into someone else. Itâs unmistakably Billy Hargrove in your collection of polaroids, a collection that reminds you of the people you loved. The box of memories that is frozen in time.Â
Billy is sitting on the hood of his car, a cigarette held between his fingers as he snickered at the camera. It was taken back in 1984.Â
You were friends with Billy Hargrove?Â
He canât even utter a single word, just reaching for the next picture which is just another one of him.Â
Billy was lying on the grass, probably in your backyard, his eyes were barely open but he was smiling into the camera, with a thumbs up in the air. Itâs clear that he was drunk when you took that picture.Â
He feels your eyes on him, he notices you shifting on the couch as you lean back, still looking at him. He doesnât turn to face you, not yet. Too curious to find more pictures of Billy, he doesnât expect the next ones to be more intimate than the ones before.Â
He stares at the one of you first, it looks as though you have cried, but you are smiling, and the only thing that covered your body was a blanket, while pushing the camera out of your face.Â
And for a moment, Steve canât help but think how beautiful you look in this picture with your hair all messy, your exposed skin looking so soft and glowy beneath dim lights, and a smile so content.Â
But the picture of Billy makes him frown. He was sitting on your bed, shirtless and with a cigarette between his lips, his eyes were red but he was smiling just like you were.Â
Itâs obvious what happened before these pictures were taken and he canât shake the weird feeling in his gut, the longer he looks at them.Â
Were you and Billy dating?Â
Is that why you have been so miserable since last summer? Because he was just another name on the list of people you have lost?
As though you can read his mind, you lean closer to him, reaching for the first picture you ever took of him, the one where he sits on the hood of his car.Â
âI ran into Billy at Big Buyâs, well, behind the building. He was smoking a cigarette and he was crying. I hadnât seen him before, it was the weekend before school started again. I approached him and he obviously tried to scare me off, but⌠fucker didnât know who he was talking to,â you chuckle. âHe was being rude, like really rude, calling me names and trying to get me to leave, I stepped on his foot and he yelped, literally yelped. I left after that but uh, after that, we just started pestering each other at school and then one day, he showed up here, with a bleeding nose and a busted lip, he didnât know where else to go.â
Steve watches you, the way your eyes are filled with sadness as you look at the pictures in front of you.Â
âIt took him a while but eventually, he opened up to me, about his dad and everything.â
He knows about Billyâs dad, about the abuse, the emotional and physical abuse. Max told him all about it.Â
âSo uh, then that happened,â you murmur, awkwardly, not meeting his eyes as you point to the pictures of the two of you only covered by the sheets.Â
âWere you two dating?â He asks, and somehow he feels a knot in his stomach at that question.Â
You scrunch your face up at his words, almost in a way that makes him laugh. You shake your head at him.Â
âFuck no. We werenât even attracted to each other. I just, at that point we were close and I trusted him so uh.. I just wanted to do it with someone that I felt comfortable with and uh, the beer helped too, I guess,â you say with a small smile on your lips.
Steve turns away from you, biting the insides of his cheeks, the knot slowly undoing itself in his belly.
âWe never mentioned it again after this, it wasnât awkward or anything, we were just.. best friends.âÂ
There is no bitterness in your voice, he notices. You had no feelings for Billy, and that for some reason makes his shoulders relax.
He looks back at you when he feels your eyes on him, your smile has fallen.
âHe came to my house⌠you know.. after he beat you up and he was drugged by Max.â
He raises his eyebrows, pursing his lips.Â
âWhat?â
âI told him that it was wrong, what he did, that you did the right thing, that I told him time and time to lay off Max. Damn, I even slapped him across his head when he broke her skateboard.â
His eyes soften, and his lip twitches.Â
âI-I was doing the right thing?â
âYou protected Lucas. When I found out how he was treating him I got so mad at him, we got into a fight and I didnât talk to him for days. I just hated what he did to him and to Max,â you mumble, breaking eye contact when the look in his eyes gets a little too intense for you. You also didnât like what Billy did to Steve, but he doesnât need to know that. âBilly he was.. driven by his fatherâs words and actions. The abuse turned him into that. He was vulnerable with me, butâ the anger was still inside of him⌠bright red.â
As Steve looks back at the pictures, he realizes that he had never seen Billy like this, happy, smiling. He almost looks like a different person. Regret floods through him, he canât help but wish that he wouldâve gotten to know this side of Billy, the one that you knew, maybe things wouldâve gone differently if he did, maybe Max wouldnât have lost her brother.Â
âI never saw Hargrove like this.â
âNo one did,â you shrug, âonly me, sometimes Max. I-I tried to change him and his dumb views but Billy was just.. stubborn and angry.â You shake your head, blinking away the tears that welled up in your eyes, you close them and tilt your head down. âA-And then he pushed me away when he.. when he was possessed.âÂ
Steve notices the way your voice got so much more shaky than before, how you seem to be on the verge of tears.Â
âMax,â he whispers, now understanding why or who the reason was for your friendship.Â
âYeah⌠Max. We received letters, well, notes from Billy,â you mumble.Â
He watches how you bring your hand up to your face, wiping away the tears with the sleeves before you reach for something in the box, a folded piece of paper that you hand to him.Â
âHe told me to stay away in mine, all messy, but he said that he didnât hate me, that he could never..â
Steve doesnât open the note, your words are enough, he doesnât want to intrude more than he already did, he understands this enough. Billy pushed you away to keep you safe, and he did it with cruel words to keep you away, because he knew that that would work with you.Â
Steve is at a loss for words.
âAnd Max, he called her his sister in hers. She didnât read the note until a few weeks later though.â
Steveâs eyes widen, and it all clicks in his head.Â
Why Max had been suffering as much as she did in those months after Billyâs death, why she seemed more depressed than ever when the summer was over.Â
âIs that why you are so close with her? ⌠For Billy?âÂ
âYeah,â you whisper, nodding. âSheâs like a sister to me, Iâd do anything for her.â
And you did. You did and you almost gave your life protecting her.Â
âAnd I almost lost her too.â
Just like everyone else you loved and cared about.Â
Steveâs words did more damage than he thought they did, and they echo in his mind, over and over again.Â
Donât you ever ask yourself why you donât have anyone? Why no one bothers to stick around because Iâd be really surprised if someone did.Â
The nausea that fills him almost overwhelms him, it almost knocks the breath out of him. He swallows harshly, and he starts to put the polaroids back into the box, blinking as he looks at each and every one of them again.Â
His eyes linger on the one of you smiling, the one from the year before. When you found your happiness again when a new friend had stepped into your life.Â
Steve couldnât stand Billy Hargrove, he really couldnât stand him, but his death was cruel and even he didnât deserve what happened to him and you didnât deserve to lose another person you cared about.Â
You lost. You lost people, you lost family, you lost friends and you lost your spark, your happiness. And now he understands why you are the way that you are. Why you keep pushing everyone away, youâre scared to lose again, scared to get too close to someone only to watch them being taken away from you.Â
As he stares at your smile, he canât help but frown at the picture in his hand because he will never get to see this. He will never see you like this with him and in this moment, he canât help but envy those who will.Â
âYou are right.â His voice sounds small, filled with regret, filled with sadness and hurt.
âHuh?â
âI donât know what loss is. Iâ shit. I donât know if I could have handled it like you did.â
You feel your eyes burning at his words and before you can even try to blink your tears away, one falls from your eye.Â
Steveâs eyes soften when he hears your sniffle, he watches the tear roll down your cheek. He moves without thinking, raising his hand up to your face, he catches the tear with his thumb. Â
You freeze and your lips part in surprise, his touch giving you butterflies despite what happened yesterday.Â
His touch feels so foreign on your skin, yet comforting and warm, like something that you have been craving and longing for since always. You slowly turn to face him and only then, does he realize what he did.Â
His cheeks flush red and his eyes fill with embarrassment, he clears his throat and pulls his hand away from your face, not knowing that this makes you feel empty again.Â
âIâm sorry too,â you whisper, apologizing to him, for the first time. âKnowing that theyâre alive yet still deciding to leave you behind.. thatâs not easy either.â
He appreciates your words and his lip twitches, he shrugs, trying to play it off â The pain he always endured by himself and never voiced out, and he wonât start doing it now. Itâs done with.
âI have the kids and Robin.â
âRight,â you whisper as you push yourself up, unable to sit here with him any longer, you reach for the box, ignoring the confused look that he gives you, âthey take care of you.âÂ
He noticed the sarcastic tone at that last phrase, but he nodded either way.Â
âOkay uh, time to go, Lego head. I need a shower.â
This time, he canât help but smile at the nickname.Â
âOkay, Blondie.â
You lead him back out into the hallway, avoiding the hazel eyes that fill your heart with nothing but sadness and longing.Â
You feel your heart pounding, your eyes still burning as you feel yourself nearing the edge of yet another breakdown this day.Â
âHey,â Steve whispers, taking a hold of your arm he pulls you back so he can see your face again.Â
âYeah?âÂ
Your eyes show him so much and now he canât help but wonder if these emotions have always been there and he was just too blind to see them or if you only showed them now.Â
âIâm really sorry about everything,â he whispers.Â
Your lips twitch, though not into a smile.Â
âMe too, Steve.â
He keeps holding your arm, ignoring the wish to hold you instead.Â
âAre we.. good?âÂ
His question makes you laugh and you squint your eyes.Â
âWhen have we ever been good?â
He rolls his eyes, though he canât help but smile. He brings his left hand up, running his fingers through his messy hair.
There is that look in his eyes, the one that shows you that he is thinking about something, deeply.Â
âDo I still call you BlondieâŚ?â He asks as he realizes that he had always called you by a name that must have taken you back to a time where you had felt the saddest, the loneliest. You were fifteen when you had bleached your hair and tried out new styles, all the time. He never knew that it was something that you needed to do, to distract yourself from the grief. You had no friends, no one to talk to, no one to be with. You only had that â box dye, makeup and new clothes every week.Â
Oh.Â
You swallow the lump in your throat, digging your nails into your palm. He knows.Â
âI would be mad if you didnât. Itâs weird when you say my name, Harrington.âÂ
He chuckles, shaking his head a little.
âYeah yeah, Blondie, keep acting like you donât like it.â
You smile, though it doesnât reach your eyes and he can see it.â
âI guess weâre still Lego head and Blondie then, huh?â He asks, snorting.Â
âAlways.â
He licks his lips, nodding.Â
âAlways,â he chuckles as he lets go of you and walks towards the door, he opens it, but he doesnât step out, right away. He looks back at you, one more time, âyou know, I didnât mean a single thing that I said to you, last night. And Iâll do anything for you to believe me. B-But, I think that youâre amazing and the people that had the chance to get to know you⌠the real you were really fucking lucky.âÂ
He leaves you with those words, closes the door and walks away from you.Â
And you stare at the front door for what feels like forever before you finally break into tears. You were pushing away your pain and your sadness but the fight from last night, his presence and his words have made it all so much worse again.Â
You bury your face in your hands as you sit down on the stairs, letting tears fall that you havenât felt in ages but instead of relief, you feel frustration running through you. You didnât miss this, you didnât miss this for a single second.Â
There is a knock on the front door and it fills you with annoyance when you expect it to be Steve again.Â
Wiping your tears with anger, you rip open the door, expecting to see him again but instead itâs Max on your doorstep. Max and Eddie.Â
You blink, looking between them, back and forth.Â
Maxâs blue eyes fill with worry as she looks into your glassy eyes.Â
Eddie smiles at you, despite matching the look in her eyes.Â
âHey, you didnât let me come in yesterday so I assumed that if I brought Red here you would let us in,â he says, still smiling cheekily. âWe brought movies and got your favorite snacks,â he points to Maxâs backpack.
You donât know what comes over you, but the kind smile on his face, of the guy that has been trying desperately to be your friend, makes you want to continue crying. You donât know how, but you keep your tears at bay.
You know that they can see that you were crying, but it brings you comfort to know that neither of them will push you to talk about anything.Â
âHey guys,â you try to put on your best smile as you greet them, you step aside without another word.
Eddieâs smile widens, he bumps his shoulder into Max.Â
âHey,â she smiles, still eying you worriedly, âare you okay?â
âYeah,â you nod, placing your hand on her shoulder, âIâm okay.âÂ
She doesnât look convinced but she doesnât push you to talk, she doesnât ask any more questions either. She just walks straight into the living room.Â
âShe feels at home, huh?â Eddie chuckles.Â
âItâs basically her second home so yeah,â you laugh.Â
His brown eyes take you in, his lips twitch but his smile doesnât fall. He looks like he wants to say something but he doesnât speak up.Â
You both follow Max into the living room, expecting her to be unpacking the snacks but instead she stands there frozen in place as she stares at the box of polaroids.
Your eyes widen and in panic, you rush over to the coffee table, wanting to close the box.Â
âS-Shit, Iâm sorryââ
âNo!â She grabs your hand before you reach for the lid. âI-Itâs okay, Iâm okay. A-Are you though?â She asks as she looks away from the pictures of Billy.Â
Eddie looks between you two, furrowing his brows as he takes a step closer. He looks into the box and his eyes widen instantly.Â
��Holy shit, is thatââ
âEddie donât,â Max warns him.
You shake your head, âno.. no, itâs okay, Max.â
Eddie doesnât even look at Max or you, he is staring at the picture of her brother, in shock.Â
âI-I promise, itâs okay,â you mumble, pinching the bridge of your nose as you feel your heart starting to pound again, âI just.. I need some fresh air, Iâll be right back.âÂ
You leave the room, rushing out of the house. You sit down on the porch steps, taking a deep breath. The earthy smell that lingers after the rain comforts you a little.Â
You knew you wouldnât get more than a minute to yourself, because only moments later, the door opens. You know that itâs Eddie, you hear the flick of his lighter, and seconds later, the smell of smoke fills the air, mixing with the smell of the after rain.Â
You hear his footsteps and then he sits down next to you. Without a word, he offers you the cigarette. You take it, placing it between your lips, you take a drag and blow out the smoke.Â
Eddie doesnât talk, he just wants you to know that he is here because he wants to be, he wants to be your friend but you donât want to lose him too.Â
âI lost a lot of people I cared about, Eddie.. Every single one of them, my parents, Chrissy, Billy.. I almost lost Max and you too,â You trail off, taking another drag before you hand him back the cigarette. âAnd I canât lose any more people, Eds.â
He stares at you with his big sad eyes that you canât bring yourself to look into for longer than two seconds.Â
âI feel like Iâm fucking cursed or something. Everything that I touch immediately rots. Thatâs why I just.. I keep pushing you away because I already lost a best friend.. so just please.âÂ
He sees the way youâre blinking, the way your hands are shaking just like your voice is. He knows what youâre asking of him and he only shakes his head in response, moving closer to you as he feels his own eyes burning.Â
Youâre his friend, a friend that he doesnât want to lose either.Â
âNah.. It will take a whole swarm of demobats to rip me away from you. And even then, hey, I will still survive, already did once,â he tries to crack a joke but only makes you tear up even more.Â
You finally turn to face him, looking into the kind eyes of your friend before your eyes move down to his neck, to the bandaid that covers his scar.Â
âButââ
âNo buts. You are not cursed. You are not responsible for anything that happened to those people. Itâs okay to feel sad, itâs okay to hurt, itâs okay to love, Darling. Let yourself do it,â he says, smiling as he throws his cigarette on the pavement before he wraps his arms around you, bringing you closer, âand stop pushing me away, please.â
Your bottom lip trembles and the tears flow like a waterfall, you stop fighting it, you stop fighting him and you let him pull you into his arms, closing your eyes as you lay your head on his chest, letting yourself fall into the hug that you so desperately need.Â
âLet it out, sweets.â
The soothing tone in his voice makes you cry even harder, your tears seep through his shirt but he doesnât mind, he rubs your back and holds you. Your heart is crying, your brain is banging, your breaths are cut short thanks to your sobs, but itâs something you needed. And even through all of that, you are feeling so relieved, so light at each sob that rips out of your throat.Â
And when you feel Maxâs hand in yours, her head on your shoulder as Eddie still holds you, you know that everything will be okay, that you will be okay. You might not need anything else for now⌠these two people right here are making you feel fuller than you ever felt in the past year.
You wonât lose them.Â
You wonât have to live without them.Â
They will be more than just a short time.Â
âĄ
tagging friends and mutuals:
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @sherrylyn628 @livosssblog
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington angst#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fluff#stranger things angst
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hii, could I order a croissant, a mince pie, and an iced tea served by toto? (maybe with brown or horner reader:)
thank you, honeyđ¤
bakery menu
welcome to the bakery! how can i take your order? want to submit your own order, then hit up the menu! i'd love to hear from you!! as for this lovely anon, i changed one thing. that it wasn't an accidental launching of the relationship. but rather toto did it on purpose! (oops), i hope you love the fic
croissant ("i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me.") + mince pit ("i'm not jealous) + iced tea (accidental launching relationship) served by toto wolff (formula one)!
cw: smut/pwp, age gap (20s/50s), size difference, zac brown!reader, launching relationships, roadside sex, car sex, cow girl position
toto sipped his drink and watched you from a short distance. the drink was sour in his mouth as he watched you talk to your father. you had always been a daddy's girl. he knew first hand how that manifested itself.
your daddy issues were so painfully clear cut, he didn't know why you would question how you ended up with them. your father was zak brown and yet you went home with toto wolff. if you were all royalty, this would count as treason and your two nations would go to war.
but this was formula one, and while it was different. toto still shouldn't have been bedding you for several months now. even now as he watched you chat with your father over drinks, toto wanted to undress you and kiss every inch of soft skin.
your father be damned.
it was after a night of drinking and toto was more than happy to take your keys away and drive you home himself. you could grab your car tomorrow, tonight toto needed to make sure that you were okay.
"thanks for doing this, toto." zak said as he shook the other man's hand.
toto nodded, he would play the shining knight. at least until he got you into his flat for the night. you looked nicer in toto's bed than you ever did your own. too many stuffed animals all over yours. he said to your father, "it's not a big deal, zak. it's better someone drive her than she drive herself."
zak chuckled, "i remember drinking that much at her age. it would kill me now." he laughed, "i bet you remember those times!" sometimes toto was reminded that he was your father's age almost to the t.
but as you once said to him, 'sucking your cock is cheaper than therapy.' as you filed your pretty nails that he would later pay to get painted.
you were soon at your father's side and laughing, "who's taking me home?" then looked to toto then your father, "he's taking me home?"
zak chuckled and looked at you, "yes. you'll be nice to mister wolff, right? no getting sick in his car?"
you nodded dumbly and smiled at toto once more, the smile was knowing and it made toto hot all over. you said to your father, "of course! thank you daddy, i'll text you when i get home!" then kissed your father on the cheek.
little did zak brown know. little did he know.
"you're jealous. you're jealous!" you said in a sing-song tone to toto once you were out of the venue, "you're jealous of my dad!" you giggled and rested against him as he brought you to his expensive car.
"i'm not jealous" he replied as he opened the car doors and got you inside. even buckled you in and you reached for him cutely to place kisses all over his face. if freud were alive, he'd be gawking at this moment. toto closed your door and then got into the car on the driver's side.
before his door was closed, your hands were all over his face. feeling the masculine nature of his features. those dark eyes, that strong jaw, that nose of his. it all excited you as you tried to get your hands all over him. you were like an insatiable puppy who demanded kisses.
he held onto the back of your hair to keep some distance between the two of you. he looked at your lips and sighed, "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."
you pouted a little, "my daddy has no idea."
"maybe he should find out at some point." all toto knew was that if his phone went missing, there was a folder with so many photos of you in various states of undress and redress. from your pretty pussy on display to a heavy skiing jacket when you went on vacation with some 'friends' (it was toto). he knew if he ever sold them, he could make a healthy dollar. but he'd never do that. he had a hard enough time with you wearing a two-piece swimsuit around your friends.
soon toto was driving and his hand was on your thigh. slowly he inched up that skirt until his long fingers were in between your thighs, just over the waistband of the poor excuse you called panties. a lacy white number that toto bought for you.
"you wore them."
"only for you."
"did anyone else see them?"
you looked at toto with the cutest expression that fell naturally on your face. you smiled at him, still a little drunk, "of course, daddy. only the best for you."
the road you were on was quiet and toto had no choice but to pull over. he couldn't very well send you back to your cute little apartment without a pussy full of his cum. not when you were giving him such delicate looks. you were already heated and toto wanted you between his teeth.
with the car lights off, you could only maneuver yourself in the dark as toto leaned back the driver's seat to let you onto his lap. he undid his belt and his cock out of his slacks. your panties were over the back of the passenger's seat for safe keeping (they'd be lost).
in the dark you managed to find his cock and sink yourself down on it. your eyes went wide for a moment from the stretch of his cock settling inside of you. you shuddered and your inebriated mind made everything feel heightened.
"you're going to be a good girl for daddy?" he asked. he wanted to show you off to the world. show zak brown that he didn't have that tight of a grip on you. that you were a woman and you were dating a man. and there was nothing that fucker could do.
you might be brown's daughter but you were toto's baby girl. once again, daddy issues sprouted their ugly heads into the back of your mind as you rode the older man. he pushed the skirt of your dress up and kissed at your neck.
the car rocked a little bit from your movements and you panted heavily. the windows fogged up on the quiet back road. toto's hands switched from your breasts to your hips then back to your breasts when he groped them with those paws he called hands. they were huge, it was intimidating. you still didn't know how those digits managed to fit into your poor pussy.
he licked his lips as your held onto his hair, he then pressed kisses up against your heated skin. he felt the heat in his gut as he pressed kisses at your skin. his hands were eventually full of the softness of your hips as he guided your faster up and down his cock.
you panted heavily before you pulled his hair to get him to face you where you made out with him once more. you whimpered between kisses a simple, 'daddy.' and it made toto hot all over. your back arched as you really worked at his length.
you felt the sweat cause your dress to stick to your back and you make up to run a little around the edges. toto thought you looked beautiful, like a debauched little princess. all because of him. wasn't that something? that zak brown's daughter was riding toto without a car, in a semi public space. anyone could drive by and snap a photo. wouldn't that make headlines.
he held onto you tighter and started to move you faster on top of him. your noises were loud as the car rocked to your movements. and toto felt himself get so close to orgasm.
but you were first. you held onto your lover tightly and whimpered, "daddy" as you felt yourself climax. your back arched with your head almost hitting the roof of the car.
but toto kept you close to him. there was nothing that could hurt that (empty) little head of yours. not while toto wolff was still breathing. you felt so good against him even when you went a little limp against him. but he continued to work your hips against him, he buried his cock in you as deep as it would go.
your noises soon turned pathetic and the car reeked of sex. eventually toto finished inside of you with one last heavy thrust. he spilled himself into you. not that you cared, sometimes toto wondered if you enjoyed the risk of him finishing inside of you. that maybe you'd be mostly wolff dna if he came into you enough times. and toto was happy to comply because that meant you'd eventually have toto's baby at your hip. but that was for later. right now he had to get you alert enough to get into the passenger seat so he can get you home.
"come on. pull down that dress a little and get yourself seated."
-
you woke up the next morning in your bed to a flurry of messages, a full voice mail inbox and even fifteen emails from various people within your network. through bleary, sleepy eyes you basically made out one thing. check social media.
upon opening the app, any tiredness was zapped from your body and you felt hyper away. your eyes went wide when you saw toto's page, the newest photo wasn't of the cars or the tracks or anything. it was you in his apartment in monaco in one of his shirts (with no bra given that you could see your nipples through the fabric) looking not at the camera but at the book on the history of mercedes that he kept on the coffee table. you knew the exact moment that was taken... and now the rest of the world wanted to know every detail about your little love affair with toto.
especially your father, who was calling your for the fifty-first time that morning. there was a lot of explaining to do. <3
#bunny writes#the bakery#torger toto wolff#toto wolff smut#toto wolff#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff fanfic#reader insert#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one smut#f1 smut#formula one fanfiction#formula 1 fic#f1 x reader#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic
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