#[ i may keep this series format just for ease of finding XD ]

[moltementi]

nattering about: asscreed

grey morality

one of my favourite things about the ac series in a general sense, is just how grey everything is morally. 

because, as i am fond of saying, perception is one hell of a drug. 

and i mean this from a "both sides may genuinely think they are the better option for society, and function within that rule, but both sides also do morally reprehensible things and excuse them with said perception of need and necessity; yet also do they have the shining beacons of ‘true good/compassion’ within their ranks” standpoint.

under a read more cause i go on and on. and on. and on...

it’s actually pretty difficult to identify where the actual problem is, as it’s technically everywhere. a human condition. to survive, to protect, to ‘make things better’.

it’s easy to blame templars from a renaissance-to-modern standpoint, because it’s fairly clear capitalistic greed and power-hungry individuals ruled the roosts then. 

roderigo and cesare ‘power mad’ borgia, laureano ‘slaver’ torres, reginald ‘isu obsessed’ birch, crawford ‘they should be grateful’ starrick, and alan ‘world domination thru aoe’ rikkin as examples. 

whether or not they believed they were doing good for the world, it’s fairly cut and dry how fucked up they all were in some measure while going about it.

it’s also easy, to point out where the assassins have gone absolutely ape-shit over the [understandable] sense of losing freedom and free will, rights, and control, and feeling as if they are the sole protectors of humanity’s ability to choose. whether such is choosing to starve or work for pittance, the choice is theirs.

yes, hope jensen is one of these individuals [check out this little blurb if yer curious by @thatoneacblog, they’re a clever whip] that allows a gang to have the run of the place. 

anyone with a stable logical brain cell and an ability to look objectively would look at that and go "hm. gangs are typically violent or self-serving. even if she established them with the rule of ‘do not harm the innocent’, no matter how she threatened them they are fundamentally human, and will be prone to the human inclination of survivalist-greed and power-mongering”. who defines ‘innocent’ to the masses? what is ‘guilty’? 

i go any further and this will become a philosophical rabbit hole though, so i’ll refrain. 

but you don’t just make gangs to improve people’s lives. 

even if you did, any organization, or group with vague structure is going to be subject to the downfalls that are inherent to being said group. corruption of cause, wonky interpretations, skewed perception and translation of aforementioned cause or instruction. 

as well as the inherent human nature of ‘survivalism’, which when played with perception, can range anywhere from stealing three apples for the day, to hoarding food stores, money, and resources out of the perceived need of them for either oneself, one’s house, or one’s village.

the brotherhood is driven by a more emotional force on the surface compared to most templars, and while such can be explained by the templar creed of order and logic, it does provide an explanation to how they can so easily lose sight of their original goal of ‘freedom, safety, and peace’ in their efforts to assert it.

it’s not a black and white. it never can be. and no one can really point in a specific direction and say ‘these people are right’ or the opposite. one may watch a mad commander of forces committing heinous murder, whilst another views it as a rescue from a hell they’ve lived their whole lives.

both are true. yet neither are fact.

[pinkletterday]

Writer's Year In Review

This year has been a revelation. I went from deeply, irrevocably believing I can't write fiction at all to knowing that I'm actually pretty good at it!

It's given me the confidence to find work as a freelance writer and editor in real life, after years of unemployment and anxious paralysis resulting from chronic illness and trauma. A lot of other factors also helped but the fic writing played a huge role in getting my shit together.

General Fic Stats:

Word Count on AO3: 92284

Fics posted to AO3: 23

Favourite Fic:

Kiss It Better (Westallen).This fic is my baby. I love little Iris and little Barry in it so much, the hurt and confusion in each other they attempted to heal, how that healing carried into their adult love and family. It will always and always be my favourite thing I have ever written. Wee!stallen is my jam, and the reason I ship them so damn hard.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). Ngl, I love this for the sheer amount of truly gratifying comments. Every single one of them have been emotional and flaily. It all makes me feel like I may have finally levelled up. Hallelujah. xD

Funniest Fic:

The Care and Feeding (Queenwestallen). This is my ultimate OT3. This fic, written as a list and discussion is 95% humour and contains some of my best banter and (I feel) characterization. An element I'm really proud of is how I managed to center and include all their important non-romantic relationships in their conversations. Iris's boisterous female friends, Oliver's friends, Cisco and Caitlin's snarky commentary all shoehorned themselves into the list with hilarious and wholesome results. 

It's not a popular OT3 but I feel like it's a good first attempt to drag this ship to water. xD

Cutest Fic:

Dancing Queen (Olivarry). Even after a year this contiues to be the fic with the highest kudos ratio (except for the more recent one) and the second most bookmarked. I love getting comments on this because they are all some variation of "my teeth hurt. I have diabetes!" xD Well, I did build it around a rainbow sprinkle icing sugar donut, but there is a significant dollop of angst there in the middle. A flangst donut.

Your Vigil In My Keeping (Westallen). This fic has less than 200 hits but has the highest kudos ratio of all. I guess kid fic isn't everyone's cup of tea, but Wee!stallen is cute af yo. I headcanon the origins of Barry and Iris's steadfast partnership in this story, where her faith and belief in him is as strong as his protectiveness of her, all tied up in the language and innocence of children.

Kinkiest Fic:

WA Smut and Kink Collection. I literally just posted this yesterday lol. So far it's just a face-sitting short, but I have quite a few hard and soft kinks lined up. Westallen needs more hard smut tbh, and they have such a unique powerfully loving dynamic that every kink I'm writing has required me to come at it a little bit sideways with a whole lot of emotional focus.

Saddest Fic:

Three fics I can't choose from.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). This is basically Iris's grief and fear in a raging tempest, and it's strongly implied that the future Nora has warned them of will come to pass regardless of what they do. The fact is that there already is and will be a timeline where Iris loses Barry, just as there must be one where she won't, because that is the nature of potentiality. 

The Paradigm of Uncertainty (Westallen). This was a drabble almost, that ruminates on the probability that speedsters do not erase timelines but abandon them, along those versions of their loved ones. It's as @rkwago's brilliant comment says: "Iris hurts in so many weird, cosmic ways that her life is almost an eldritch horror house," which is the most perfect description ever of what it means to be a time traveller's wife.

The Universal Constant (Gen, background WA). A lot of people find the way Barry goes off on Joe cathartic in this fic, and so do I. But it's not so simple. I don't think Joe was wrong to form the views he did, or that anyone was in the wrong really. As @sophiainspace pointed out, it's a mediation of grief and love, their parallels and continuations between parents and children and lovers. The fact that it takes Henry's death for Barry to find the adult language to articulate to Joe why he will always believe in his father's innocence is a tragedy that cuts three ways.

(This fic is also the reason I have a folder in my drive marked "how to get away with murder" and probably a likely reason to get me arrested one day. xD)

Most Popular Fic:

Strangers In The Cold (Coldflash). The Coldflash fandom is a joy to feed. This was my first smut fic which was preceded by an entire chapter of banter about nothing in particular (except it ended up establishing a background that gave birth to the Coldflash vs Olivarry polyam series) And holy wow, for a newbie writer, the response has been amazing. Looking back, I wince at a lot of writing mistakes and its undeniably rough, but it really bolstered my confidence.

(I feel a little guilty that all my other CF stories are still in my WiP folder while I update the polyam series at snail's pace.)

The Shape of Us (Westallen). I wrote this on tumblr half-asleep one night, half as a rambly headcanon...and woke up to literally one hundred freaking notes. What the hell. Now at over 260, it's the most popular fic I've ever posted on tumblr.

I never consciously intended it to be a body-positivity fic but apparently women really relate to the insecurities of growing older and watching our bodies change with marriage, children and the sheer hectic pace of life. Even my non-fandom friends reblogged it simply for its representation of "real women". Barry's response is my own wish fulfillment fantasy; the sort of total acceptance and validation that we wish we could hear it the times we can't find it in ourselves. In light of the virulent body-shaming Candice Patton has been subjected to ever since she was revealed to have gained a fuller figure in S5, I'm very glad to have written it.

Least Popular Fic:

Carry On (Gen) This character study of Oliver Queen only has 135 hits a year after posting, which is par for the course with gen. But has a solid 12% kudos ratio, which means it's probably as good as I think it is. It's one of my favourite and easiest fics I have ever written.

Love Me Like You Do (Olivarry) Lordy, if my first Coldflash smut filled me with confidence, my first Olivarry smutfic all but ruined it. I struggled with it for a long time, unlike SitC, which I suppose shows in the over-descriptions. I got carried away with the quipping and I guess Barry topping at all is really not popular with slash fans?

Still, I'm honestly toying with the idea of deleting and rewriting it. At least it was a learning experience - don't write smut unless it makes you feel horny yourself.  

Most Challenging Fic:

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). I think the reason stories you knock off in two hours are instantly popular while the ones you slaved over for weeks barely get any attention is because the process is reflected in the ease of reading. But this one is an exception. It was an absolute monster, taking three weeks and several revisions to wrestle into submission - and it paid off in spades!  Going by the response, I seem to have achieved the wow factor I was going for.

My only regret is that I posted it on tumblr before the last revision that finally made it work, so that too many readers saw the lacklustre version rather than the polished one.

Honorable Mention:

A Stitch In Time (Olivarry for now, eventual Queenwestallen) Baby's first multi-chapter! Admittedly chapters 3 and 4 have been languishing in my drive for a few months now and this thing has 100% more deleted scenes and outtakes posted to my tumblr than the actual story on AO3. But I'm so proud of it! I learned to write action scenes because of it, how to write climaxes, dream sequences, news articles and tell a story in several different formats. It made me rediscover my empathy for Felicity and write her as a PoV character, think deeply on Laurel Lance's losses and give voice to her struggles, and explore how a real friendship and understanding could evolve between Oliver and Iris out of their mutual love for Barry. (Centering female characters within manpain narratives, ftw! Otoh, I centered Iris so much it veered off the Olivarry rails into Queenwestallen territory on its own)

There is so much meaty conflict and delicious looming disaster in this story that I'm determined going to keep at it, even if slow and steady. If only to bring the light of Barry/Iris/Oliver into the world. xD

Holding On (Olivarry). This real-world disability AU deals with chronic and mental illness and the precariousness and personal demons of that reality. I tore out the rawest parts of my life for this fic and put them on display so that I couldn't bear to show it to anyone for a year after it was written.

I'm very glad I did finally brush it off and put it up because it has struck a chord with so many people, especially other Spoonies. The low number of hits on a fic that deals in hurt/comfort rather stings, as I can't help but think the disinterest is because of the "disability" and "neurodivergence" tags. But I still think it's one of the best things I've written and one I'll always be proudest of.

General Reflections:

Things I've learned over the past year of writing:

- Self-deprecation is not my friend. I need to be honest enough with myself to acknowledge when my writing is good, because either I self-validate and build confidence or I become a black hole of insecurity where validation goes to die. And if I think I'm a bit better than I actually am, it's not just okay but necessary to believe it.

- What I call writer's block is perfectionism, anxiety and physical and mental fatigue. If I don't eat, sleep, hydrate and acheive a relaxed mental state, I won't be able to write. 

- Momentum is more my friend than any amount of inspiration and motivation. Sitting my ass down and make it a habit to churn out X number of words a day, even bad writing, will do more to help me than polishing an idea to a high shine. 

- If I don't forgive myself for the stories I can't write I'll never write anything. I am doing this for free, to share the love and joy and therefore obligated to no one. 

- I'm capable of writing things I don't have the first idea how to write. My fingers on a keyboard can paint the picture my brain can't visualize. 

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I am going to make it a personal goal to write at least 15k words per month, learn to stick to a posting schedule where possible.  and end next year with an additional 150k words posted. 

To everyone who follows this blog, commented, reblogged and liked my posts - I see and remember and appreciate every one of you. You're the reason I feel seen and valued and why I am motivated to keep writing through all the difficulties life throws at me. <3<3<3

[claeriekavanaugh]

Intro: What is your name, what do you write, where can readers find you on social media, and where can readers find your book? And just for fun, if you could be any mythical being or creature, who or what would you be?

Hi! I’m Kyle Robert Shultz, and I write snarky fairytale fantasy in an alternate 1920’s world. You can find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads. My first book, The Beast of Talesend, is available on Amazon and other ebook markets.

Hmm, any mythical creature…dragon is very tempting, but I’d probably go with centaur for sheer practicality. Ease of transportation without high gasoline bills, and no loss of opposable thumbs. Groceries and housing might present a problem, however. XD

Beast of Talesend is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast.  This is a popular fairytale to retell and it has been the inspiration for many authors.  What drew you to the story and which version appeals to you the most, Grimm, or Disney?

There’s a ton of storytelling and character potential packed into Beauty and the Beast. I think that’s why it’s been so popular over the years. You can twist the format around in many ways to create intriguing and powerful stories. The Disney version is my favorite–both Disney versions. I wish I could take elements of each one and smush them together into a single, perfect adaptation. Each film has its strengths and weaknesses.

2. How is Beast of Talesend different from other Beauty and the Beast stories?

What sets my book apart is that it’s not a retelling in the strict sense. It’s more of an answer to the question, “What happened after the original story?” That being said, there is a  retelling of the original tale included in the text, and it’s a story I may expand on in the future. Watch this space. 😀 Also, I’ve set the book in a unique alternate reality that blends 1920’s London with magic and fantasy. I don’t think anyone’s done that before…then again, at this point, I’m used to finding out that even my wackiest ideas are already taken. 

2. There are a lot of fun Easter eggs in Beast of Talesend that allude to other previously famous fairytales? Which was the most fun to twist?

Even though it’s been done many, many times before, I enjoyed mixing up the tale of Snow White. There’s so much scary and cool stuff you can do with mirrors. It was fun to create a deeper mythology behind that story that fits into the wider scope of my fictional universe. The Snow-White-related themes in The Beast of Talesend will be explored further in a future book that’s more centered around that particular fairy tale.

3. Do you find there are central themes or elements that are unique to your books? (For example, are you drawn to anti-heroes, antagonists, certain settings etc.) Why do those things stand out to you?

Villains and anti-heroes are my favorite characters. They’re the most interesting to write, in my opinion. (This is why Cordelia is sort of an ex-villain.) I also like to mix up “modern” themes with magic. Most fantasy books fall into either medieval or contemporary time periods. I like to pick times and settings that are more atypical. Beast is basically urban fantasy in the 1920’s. Future books, however, will go to a variety of other settings.

4. One of the things that really stood out to me in this book was the snappy dialogue. It was so funny and engaging, but also managed to propel the story forward. What advice would you give to other writers to help improve their own dialogue?

First off, thanks! Very kind of you to say. 🙂 The key to good dialogue is to have fully fleshed-out characters. If your characters don’t have distinctive personalities, backgrounds, accents, etc., then their dialogue will come out stilted and unnatural. Develop your characters in detail and try to get into their heads as you write their conversations. If they all sound the same, then you have a problem. Think of them as people, and they won’t just be robots parroting the information you need to get onto the page. A good way to practice is to try throwing your characters into a variety of different situations and free-writing their reactions. It will help you to find their distinctive voices.

5. What character would you say you relate to the most?

Nick. His sarcasm and his tendency to overthink things are very me. I would hope that I’m a little less uptight than him, however.

6. Give us your best behind the scenes story from writing the book.

I workshopped the book on Scribophile (an online critique community) before I got around to publishing it. At first, I really struggled to get it off the ground. I think I wrote about five different versions of the first chapter, all of which got politely tepid responses from the people on that site. I was trying way, way too hard, and it showed. Finally, I gave up. I stopped trying to make it absolutely amazingly perfect and tried having fun with it instead. The line “I’m sorry, Miss Hogarth, but I’m afraid this toad is not your fiancée” popped into my head. The rest is history. Very recent history, but history all the same. XD

7. Madame Levesque and Lord Whitlock reminded me quite a lot of the famous voodoo queen or New Orleans legend Marie Laveau and Rumpelstiltskin respectively. Were either of these people used as inspiration and if not, who was?

I suppose Rumpelstiltskin did have some influence on Whitlock’s brash, gleefully evil personality. My main inspiration for his character, however, was a figure from the works of P.G. Wodehouse–Major Plank, an “empire-building” British explorer of the old school. Very proper, very overconfident. The Master from Doctor Who informed some of Whitlock’s darker qualities (the Geoffrey Beevers and Alex MacQueen incarnations, specifically). As for Levesque, while there’s definitely a name similarity, she doesn’t really have any connection to Laveau. Lady Catherine de Bourgh from Pride and Prejudice was my model for her character. (I mean, think about it. Lady Catherine with magical powers. How scary is that?)

8. Nick as a beast and the other beastly characters look quite different in my mind despite being victims of the same curse. Can you shed some light as to why that is?

The in-story explanation is that Nick didn’t get the “full blast,” as it were, when he was cursed. His enchantment is a toned-down version of the original Beast spell. The reason for this narrative choice on my part was that I wanted a balance between scary and funny in the story. The Disney version of the Beast has been criticized by some for toning down the horror of the original fairytale. I don’t really have a problem with that, hence Nick’s more Disney-esque appearance, but I also wanted there to be genuinely frightening monsters. I really don’t think people would have been drawn to a main character as creepy as the fully-transformed Beasts depicted in the book. Nick’s better off as an intimidating-yet-not-utterly-horrifying gargoyle/minotaur. XD

9 . What can you tell us about book two of the series? Any behind the scenes secrets?

The Tomb of the Sea Witch gives The Little Mermaid the Beaumont and Beasley treatment. There are surprising twists on the original story and a few nods to the Disney version as well. The book also features Nick, Cordelia, and Crispin going undercover in a Hogwarts-like school, which was loads of fun to write. 😀 I can tease that The Little Mermaid isn’t the only classic ocean-related story that gets referenced, and that there’s a huge twist near the middle of the book that will turn everything upside down.

10. What is/are one or two pieces of advice that you learned while revising the first draft that you wish you had known before you started?

One thing I didn’t do when revising Book 1, and which has been very helpful in working on Book 2, is to convert the draft into an ebook and try reading it on my Kindle in order to spot errors. That method brings things to light which are easy to miss when reading from a Word or Scrivener document. On the other hand, I also wish I hadn’t overstressed quite so much about the revisions for Book 1. When people spotted a few embarrassing typos after I’d published it, I was mortified. But it turned out that I was far more worried about it than they were. The whole thing blew over, and it didn’t affect the book’s success at all. Finally, I wish I’d known about onestopforwriters.com…VERY helpful site.

11. This is random but fun one, if you could pick any time period to live in, when would you live and why?

The Old West. Untamed wilderness, horses as the primary means of transportation, the occasional showdown with desperadoes…I could live with that. XD

12. What is one book you think every YA writer should read at least once?

Story Trumps Structure by Steven James. The worst thing any author can do is to fall into the trap of thinking there’s only one right way to write a book. James’ book frees writers from that philosophy. You may not agree with him on everything, but you’ll at least find yourself able to relax more about the craft.

Thank you Kyle! Don’t forget, Beast of Talesend is available on Amazon and other ebook markets and you can say hi to Kyle on Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads.

As always, keep making magic, word weavers!

Author Interview with Kyle Schultz Intro: What is your name, what do you write, where can readers find you on social media, and where can readers find your book?