#[ i know i've been a flake lately and i'm sorry but i really do want to try gfjkdg

[kiealer]

dedicating this week to work and other various life things -- but I'm gonna try to write this weekend.

so uh. maybe. if y'want. like this for a small starter that I'll get to this weekend--

[sofiareidings]

Coffee Runs

Summary: The guy who's been coming to the cafe you work at finally asked why you've never called him by his name.

A/N: I'm sorry this story is so late, especially since I missed Monday's post. School has been so busy this week and I've also had a bunch if extracurricular lately. I'll try and be more on time from now on (Don't hold me to that) Also! I got the idea for this one shot from @hanllo-kitty

Word Count: 0.8k

Song Suggestions: Invisible String - Taylor Swift

It was a good job, a great job really. The cafe was in a nicer part of town and people would subconsciously give nice tips so your pay was good. Rarely were customers terrible. Most people that came in were students or really busy people rushing in and going.

There were a few regulars. Like Joe, Joe was an eighty year old man who came in everyday for a coffee and a sandwich. While he waited he would talk about the lotto numbers and how his kids were doing. There was also Lola, she was a journalist who spent most of her day sitting in the corner of the cafe while refilling the same cup until closing.

But there was only one regular you would think about while getting ready for work.

Come on, I don't know his name. Don't shoot the messenger.

He'd been coming in for the past three months almost everyday, right after the cafe opened for a coffee. He always looked a little tired and acted like it too. He barely made conversation and normally shuffled out of the store in the same fashion as the other overworked people; quickly.

You hadn't learned his name yet. He always seemed to forget to say it when you asked, which resulted in you making up something.

"Guy with the sweater vest!"

"Guy in the purple!"

"Guy with the scarf!"

You get the point.

He was your favourite regular because of his looks. God, even when he was incredibly sleep deprived he looked beautiful. He had brown hair that fell just below his sharp jaw. Brown eyes that always happened to be in the light from the cafe window, making the small gold flakes in his eyes shine. He was normally dressed in a sweater vest and neutral pants, he probably worked at some type of office. The one part of him that stood out in his outfits were his converse, odd for the rest of his outfit. You could've sworn a few times you saw brightly coloured mismatched socks.

***

The sound of the cafe bell echoed through the nearly empty shop, having only opened half an hour ago. Smiling in the direction of the person walking in you quickly noticed it was 'Guy with *whatever he had on*" who came in. Something was different, he had thick glasses on. That was new.

"Hey, just the regular coffee and donut?" You put the order into the computer, looking back up at him. Taking in the new look.

"Yeah, thanks." His lips creased into a line, you called it a tired smile, the same one he made everyday. He handed over his money and poured the change into the tip jar then stepped back to wait for his order.

A couple minutes later you came back to the counter with his order. "Guy with the glasses!"

He did his usual, smiled and grabbed his order saying bye. But just when he reached the threshold of the door he paused and turned. "Why do you do that?"

Having already turned around you paused, this was the first time he'd talked to you in a clear voice. You weren't really sure what he meant. "Do what? Did I get your order wrong?"

He cleared his throat and seemed a little frustrated. "You never say my name, you just call me guy with something. Is it just to annoy me?"

"What? No, you've just never told me your name." Laughing a little, realising the misunderstanding.

"I didn't?" His face changed to confusion, "Oh my gosh, I didn't." He realised his mistake then his face flushed a shade of red.

"Don't worry, it's okay. Guy with the glasses." You laughed, looking around the cafe for a minute, strange it was still pretty empty.

"I am so sorry, I thought I told you and you just wanted to annoy me. I feel like a jerk, you seem so nice." Genuinely sorry he apologised profusely. "Can I make it up to you?"

Deciding to take the chance, you'd been daydreaming about this guy for months. "Well, maybe you could take me on a date." A little shocked by your own boldness, your face went up like twelve degrees.

"Uh, yeah…" He trailed off, clearly flustered. "Yeah, I would really like that."

"Well then, it's a date." You beamed, internally jumping up and down out of excitement. Since when were you so forward? He made that smile he made everyday before turning towards the door again.

That's when you realised.

"Wait!" You shouted, louder than you expected. Causing your coworker to drop a cup. "You still haven't told me your name."

"It's Spencer. I'll make sure to be back tomorrow." He nodded again and chuckled lightly before finally walking through the door.

God could tomorrow morning come any quicker.

[howlingday]

Your post about Senukin lets me think about that one manga when she makes Rotten Petals. Jaune as Ngân, Weiss as Lan Hà, and Trà Ly as Elm. It’s about two childhood friends with each other and Ngân wants to confess to her, but always chatting about her new boyfriend. But in reality, Lan wants him to NTR her because she believes her mom that a man should confess a woman first, not the other way around. (Her mom definitely says that as a joke, but Lan always listens to her). Yup, she’s an idiot. But her hopes and dreams are crushed because Ngân confesses he has a girlfriend.

--------------------------------------------------

Y'know, I wasn't sure how to do this series, even though I was interested. To be honest, I was mostly turned away by seeing the prologue (with some less than great voice acting) and not really digging with the plot. It seemed like too many characters for too much drama. Thankfully, there's this guy to provide decent voice acting without the prologue. Anyways, here's...

ROTTEN FLAKES

--------------------------------------------------

Weiss: (On her scroll) My my~! You really miss me, huh~? (Giggles) Oh, grow up~!

This is Weiss Schnee. She's a girl from my childhood, and my best friend. She's living at my place but she spends all day flirting with her new boyfriend on her scroll...

Weiss: Okay, okay... I'll come over to your place and we can cuddle as long as you want~. Oh my goodness, you pervert~! Don't be so lewd~! My best friend is nearby~!

Every time I plan to confess my feelings to her, she has a new boyfriend...

Weiss: Yes, yes, I'll be back soon. Don't rush me! If you want me that bad, then love me more~!

My best friend, even though she came over to my place to hang out, has been flirting with her boyfriend for almost an hour now. If only she could understand how frustrated I am because of this!

This feeling I have inside... Like someone took something precious to me... I hate it... I can't stand it! I've been by her side for years! We did everything together! I should be her boyfriend!

Weiss: Hm? Jaune? What's the matter?

I love my best friend. And I won't let her be take away from me ever again! I... I'm sorry...

Weiss: Jaune? Why are you so quiet?

Jaune: You've left me no choice... (Unbuckles)

Weiss: (Thinking) NO WAY! Is he going to- He wouldn't, would he?!

Weiss: Jaune, don't do-

Jaune: (Lifts shirt) I... I've been going to the gym lately. What... What do you think of my abs?

Weiss: Oh my... So... So these are your "gains," right?

Jaune: (Thinking) I know you so well... We've known each other for so long, I learned what you're into! When we were kids, you used to drag me to the gym to ogle all those sweaty muscles...

Weiss: Looking at your body makes me miss my boyfriend all the more~!

Jaune: Huh?!

Jaune: ...

Weiss: You've grown up so much, Jaune. Who would have thought that scared, little boy playing knights would have become the man you are today? Any woman who becomes your girlfriend is beyond lucky, if you ask me. You're smart, charming, and always kind and caring to those around you. It's a shame, really. You're totally my type, and yet all I can do now is be jealous of whoever the lucky girl is that catches your eye...

Jaune: Hey... You said that looking at my body makes you think of your boyfriend. What does he look like?

Weiss: Oh~? You want to know, huh~? See, he looks a lot like you, doesn't he?

Jaune: Oh...

Jaune: How do we look similar? I just don't see it. Why are you going out with a guy so... weird? He looks like a total goof-off-

OH... RIGHT... I WAS THE EXACT SAME WAY TWO MONTHS AGO...

Jaune: ...

Weiss: HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH...

Flashback~ I still remember how we met, all those years ago...

Jaune: (Kid) Um... Is this yours? I found this by the lake. You can have it~!

Weiss: Ah...

A kind-hearted boy suddenly appeared before my eyes.

Weiss: Th-Thank you...

And the next thing I knew, I fell in love with the same man sitting with me right now.

My mother was a wonderful woman...

Willow: Weiss, a girl should never confess her feelings first. A girl who confesses first is impatient, desperate, and aggressive. A girl who confesses first believes she is not attractive enough to be picked. No girl should ever be in a position where she must await approval or face rejection. The one who offers the diamond ring should be the man. Never be the first to confess, Weiss.

Weiss: ...

Even back then, I always wanted to be just like my mother...

Weiss: Yes, mother...

Weiss: To protect my pride as a woman, I can't afford to tell Jaune how I really feel.

Anyways...

Weiss: I've done enough waiting! I need Jaune to confess to me NOW! I only tell him I have a boyfriend so he'll get jealous and confess FASTER!. WHEN WILL HE NTR ME?!

Yup. That's right. Our heroine of this story is a fucking hopeless loser idiot.

Jaune: Actually... Weiss... There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about.

Weiss: Oh my! What's this? What's this tension I feel?! Is it finally happening~?!.

Jaune: I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now... Now seems like the right time to tell you more than ever!

Weiss: (Shaking) There's no doubt about it! He's finally confessing to me after all of these years!.

Weiss: Jaune, I-I...

Weiss: Calm yourself, Weiss.

Weiss: (Sips tea) Hmph! Easy game~.

Jaune: I have a girlfriend now...

Weiss: SPPPFFFTTT!

Weiss: A... A girlfriend?! Why, who doesn't have a girlfriend?! Am I not your girlfriend, or at least your friend who is a girl? I am a girl, after all!

FUCK! WHY NOW?!

Jaune: Oh, sorry. I should clarify. When I say "girlfriend," I mean my LOVER.

LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?! LOVER?!

Weiss: HUH?!

As soon as the word "LOVER" was heard, Weiss was instantly on the defense!

Jaune: Um... Weiss?

In the five stages of grief acceptance, according to experts, humans go through an emotional process to come to terms with their experience of loss.

Weiss: LOVER? What is that? Is it served hot or cold?

STAGE ONE: DENIAL

Weiss: Wait one moment! Is Jaune really telling the truth? He could be lying, just like me. All talk with no evidence to back himself up.

Jaune: ?

The heroine of our story has revealed herself. And if that's the case, I'll make Jaune tell me everything!

[taylormarieee]

Okay so I've been thinking if you could write smut for Kuai Liang it can literally be anything, but if you could, please don't make it short, you don't even have to make a plot. It can be a totally random smut or it can be that reader is having a bad day or that he's having a bad day or you can make something on your on. I'll be happy whatever you"ll make :)

OK! Sorry it's a little late! Thank you for this! I loved writing it!

Kuai was not having the best day! His brother betrayed him and the ninjas at the Shirai Ryu were not doing what he instructed.

He had come home with flames in his every step. He didn't want to take it out on you but hearing your sweet voice humming in the kitchen slightly made him relax.

Your tune was magical and calming. When he enters the kitchen he sees you in your little orange night gown. You had gotten it designed just for his liking!

On the bottom were tiny imprinted little scorpions with little goldish flakes to look like flames.

He loved whenever you wore it for him, or just around the house in general.

He sneaks up on you in the kitchen and wraps his arms around your waist. You gasp but then realize who's warm hands it is.

Your sweet voice rings in his ears as he nuzzles his face into your neck to smell you and give you light kisses.

He was still very furious and angry but he didn't want to take it out on you, not his sweet little flame.

"What's wrong Kuai?" You akses. Your voice so soothing. He picks his head up and walk backwards towards the island and sits down on the bar stool.

"Had a bad day, it's nothing too serious sweetheart." He responds rubbing his hands down his face.

"I know that's not just the only reason honey, tell me." You were pushing him. He hated when you did that because sometimes he could lose his temper when he was frustrated.

"I said it's nothing! Stop asking me!" He yelled. You flinched and slightly backed up from the island.

Your fiddling with your hands and your head is down.

There it was. Him losing his temper and you now scared.

He didn't mean to. That's what he always said. And he meant it, he was never mad at you.

"I-I'm sorry sweetheart. I just- I had a really bad day, I just don't want to talk about it." He says a lot softer, his voice as quiet as a whisper.

"I-It's ok... You can take it out on me y'know. I don't mind." You say lifting your head, eyes sparkling.

He looked at your beautiful face and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" He asked cautiously. This wasn't like you to let him take his anger out on you, let alone suggest it!

You meekly nod your head and walk around the island to face him. You run your fingers up and down his arm and bite your lip.

"Y'know, you don't always have to let your anger out by training or yelling. You can find... other ways." You suggest looking at him through your eyelashes.

Kuai Liang slightly smirks and you smirk with him. You kiss his cheek and turn around beginning to walk up the stairs to your shared bedroom.

He takes that as a silent motion to follow you up the stairs. When you finally reach the top of the stairs, he starts following you.

By the time he makes it up there he's already met with the bedroom door. It's slightly agape and there is a light shining through the crack.

He slowly opens the door and sees you stipped naked and laying on the bed.

Your head pops up and you see your husband in the doorway. You smirk and he eagerly walks over to you.

He climbs on top of you and looks at you. "Are you sure about this love? I don't wanna hurt you." He asks.

"I'm positive baby. Take it all out on me." You say lustfully. You bite your lip.

He slowly approaches you and kisses you roughly. He pushes you on to the bed and begins to tear off his clothes in a rushed manner.

He slides his cock into you and doesn't even give you time to adjust. He rams into muttering curses under his breath at how tight you are.

"stupid brother."

"I hate him."

"Why would he do this?"

"Selfish bastard!"

He muttered things but not about what he told you, He's still on about Bi-Hans betrayl.

"Liar." You mutter as you look up at him. You whimper when he halts his movements.

"What'd you say babygirl? I couldn't hear you?" He says darkly and with a bit anger.

You shake your head mutter a 'nothing' before he goes back to pounding into you relentlessly.

You cry out and scream his name at the top of your lungs when you feel your orgasm approaching.

He smirks and pulls out. "Since you wanna be smart, you don't get to cum." He says with a devious smirk on his face.

Before you could even rebuttal and complain he rams back into you now chasing his own orgasm.

He grunts and growls as he plunges into your tight soaking pussy. Your eyes roll back at the stinging feeling of him stretching you out.

He was so big, filling you up making your belly bulge slightly. You whimper at the feeling of feeling him everywhere inside you.

All up in your guts and feeling your body. He gropes your breast and kisses your neck.

"Fuck~ngh! I'm gonna-g-gonna" Before he can finish he's spilling his load inside of you.

Nice and warm and filling. You moan as your orgasm mixes with his. Your pussy pushing his cum out.

His eyes roll back at the sight and he slams into you repeatedly to keep his cum inside.

When you both finally relax Kuai feels a lot better. "Wow! Taking my anger out on you felt good." He says.

"I'm here for you to use me whenever you need baby." You respond with love in your eyes. He kisses your forehead and you both enjoy the rest of the silent night.

Taglist: @itzdarling @aerangi @liliesdiary @crimsonbubble @yanderestarangel @keiva1000 @daemontqrg

[faeriekit]

Hey faeriekit! I love seeing your library posts because I'm actually attempting to get a degree in Library Media. It was a long forgotten childhood dream of being a librarian and while I put it down for a while it feels like coming full circle. Any advice or know how you feel like giving for someone who has no idea what she's potentially getting herself into? Thanks!

Hi, sorry it took me so long to respond; my brain exploded. Which. Wasn't very conducive to answering questions.

Okay, my concentration/specialty was always going to be public librarianship, so the closest intersection I've had with other specialties were Archival and Academic and Teaching concentrations. You're looking at what seems to be a media concentration...? Far out. Whatever you want to do in regards to media preservation and librarianship, just make sure that whatever programs you're applying to, you pick a school with a concentration/specialty that moves the needle closer to that goal. This database of ALA accredited programs lets you search by concentration as well as style of course, location, etc. If you're outside the US, uh...not sure how to help you navigate that, unfortunately. 😅 You'll likely follow a similar process depending on the needs of your career wherever you intended to work in the future.

Secondly, don't forget, this is a grad school application; you'll have to round up your recommendation letters, testing scores, transcripts, and all that other horrible paperwork that proved that you have a bachelor's degree and didn't flake out the whole while. It will be annoying. You will spend a lot of time looking at application pages on the schools' website. Ugh, it made me so exhausted lol. You'll also have to remember that this is something you'll have to pay for; my degree cost me maybe... $4000-$6000 a month when I went full time for four semesters. That adds up! Are you going for a loan? Paying out of pocket? Only going part time? It all changes how you plan to approach library school!

(I went online and full time, even when I was working full time. It did save me $$ and time but I was also so stressed I wrote Blister pack nonstop, so. Maybe not smart for long term mental health reasons.)

Have you been in a library lately? Done work there recently? If I were you, I would add a couple of volunteering hours at the local library to your schedule if possible; being around people who understand the material inside and out and having them available for questions makes a big difference long-term. I have never seen anyone struggle more in library school than people who had never done any kind of work in a library. There is lingo that isn't as natural to them, concepts they don't immediately grasp...seeing it in person helps put everything into perspective. A couple hours here and there helps; if not, I would do your HW at a library instead, and make it clear to the staff what you're up to so that they recognize you! This really helps when you have to do stuff like interview assignments or eventual job search advice!

I want to say "go online and asynchronous; it's cheaper and easier on your schedule". And this is true. But everyone I know seems to think that in person or synchronous courses help keep them focused and grounded in what's going on and able to keep up with the curriculum better...and then I see the suffering immensely from the burdens of synchronized courses on their schedule, which proves my point, so...that was advice my boss gave me way back when, and it served me well.

Even if you don't immediately join your state library association (again, if you are in the US), try to get on their mailing list. Usually they have their own job board, resources, newsletters, etc.

I will say, the job market right now is whack and library jobs are usually pretty scarce in general. There's always competition, it's hard to get paid anything remotely close to a living wage, and every ten minutes there's news about how librarians are actually evil for leaving books on the shelves that Moms of Liberty hate, or whatever they're on about. Also [Current US Gov Status: BAD] at the moment, which may impact future budgets, which, again, will lead to a decrease in available jobs. I would keep whatever job you're currently in tucked neatly into your back pocket, because who knows what the future holds.

That being said, I've had my best career moments and amazing coworkers all at the library; I love what libraries stand for, I love what we do, and I love how we do it. I love the people I meet, and I love the programs we get to put on. I love my job. Working at a library is worth a whole lot; the hard part is just, you know...getting there.

(And I had a very easy way in compared to other people; online schooling in early 2021 was very easy to get into.)

Ummm...library good. I hope you're happy with your plans. Just. Uh. Plan for a lot of time to spend applying to a lot of places. If you have any more specific questions, let me know! I will probably be here. Unless. IDK. Something else very big and legal blows up I suppose.

[duchessanon]

A few short story ideas, bb:

Anne, the Olympian, at The Olympics in Montreal

Anne the speed demon lol! Apparently, she drove 93 mph in a 70-mph zone near her home in Gloucestershire, went to court and fined.

Anne's affair with her bodyguard, Mark Cross👀

bb, your version of the private letters between Anne and Sir Tim Laurence, that were obtained by The Sun but never published.

The Fandom rigged the Pulitzers?! Justice for busybody!

Inspired by true events. For the Annedom/fAnnedom xo

One fine morning in 1993, Princess Anne stood in the mirror combing her bouffant for another day of busy engagements. Today she was going to an engagement at a horsey school and decided to wear her full Olympic horsey outfit for the occasion.

Her husband, Timmy appeared behind her with hearts in his eyes. 'Wow, you look fresh out of a trough'

Anne scowled. 'What have I told you about making horsey compliments when you don't understand horses!'

'I'm sorry my beloved' Timmy said mournfully. He really was trying to understand her love of horses and continued to wear his chaps every evening because the sight of them set her nethers in a flutter.

'A trough is what animals drink out of, if I had come out of a trough I'd look like a rat coming out of a sewer!'

Timmy did a sad face but didn't argue with Anne. She was in a bad mood because Fergie had pranced too far and trampled over her cabbage patch.

'If you want to give me a horsey compliment there's many of them!' Anne proceeded for ten minutes listing horsey related compliments starting with 'Your heart is like a Trojan Horse' and ending with 'I could ride you!'

All of a sudden Anne snapped out of her equine reverie and hollered 'oh busybody I'm late! This is your fault for distracting me!!!'

Timmy was startled and tried to help but Anne was out of there and he mused out loud 'like a stallion out of a stable'.

'It's like a horse out of a gate!!!' Anne shouted as she sped away.

On the way to the horsey school, Anne put her foot down and grumbled about the uselessness of men. Just look at her three brothers. She couldn't be late, the family already had a reputation for being lazy, useless, tax money stealing busybodies.

Suddenly a siren started blaring behind her. 'What the shit butt are my escort doing?!' When they levelled up next to her, she suddenly realised this was no royal escort, it was the Pauper Police.

Anne dutifully stopped in a layby and the officer approached her.

'Excuse me, my name is Constable Buthol. Do you realise you were going 93 MPH?'

'Well yes of course I do Constable Butthole, I am Princess Anne and I have an important engagement at the horsey school, and now I'm even more late!!!'

'It's Buthol'

'That's what I said busybody Butthole! Now fine me quickly so I can get on my way'

'That's enough of your insolence, I'm an officer of the law and I am hereby confiscating this vehicle under section 6.9 of the highway code - dangerous driving and abuse of a member of the Pauper Police'

'ASS FLAKES!!!' As Butthole went to fill in the paperwork, Anne quickly used her car radio to call Timmy. 'Timmy I'm in trouble, I know I called you useless but I've been stopped by the Pauper Police for speeding and verbal abuse (snowflakes!) and I must get to the horsey school!'

'You didnt call me useless, my beloved'

'Well it was in my head then! Just hurry up will you, I'm on the road next to the lake. The traffic is too heavy. Bring me my horse!'

Timmy panicked. He couldn't ride a horse well, but what else would get Anne there in time? Suddenly he had a brainwave, his nethers jolted up at his cleverness.

Back on the road, Anne was standing alone after Butthole had taken her car. 'Fucking asshole busybody bitch bastard, and WHERE is Timmy with my horse?'

Just then there was a gigantic splash in the lake behind her. Timmy sat in a speedboat wearing his boaty uniform waving up at her and shouted, 'I can't do horses but I can do boats!'

Anne's nethers and whethers fluttered at her handsome sailor's efforts. She immediately jumped off the road and landed in his arms.

'I wondered if I had been too brusque this morning and you'd given up on me' Anne said as they sped along the lake, narrowly missing Fergie as she performed a solo synchronised swim.

'Never my beloved, wild horses couldn't drag me away from you or your nethers'

'Finally you got one right!' Anne said gleefully. Someone would be getting a roll in the hay tonight.

Fin.

@fannefictionarchive @princessanneftw

[ihatehannibal]

Everything is so fucking shitty lately, I lied through my teeth to my psychiatrist bc I don't want him to blame it on me reducing my SSRI dose & insist I stabilize again. it's bc my friends are all so...completely ambivalent about me I guess? like ok there's my best friend, who I've been long distance with since the we met online ten years ago but who I've never FELT this distant from in all that time. it's been like this for a year, since she moved to Japan, but again it's not like she lived close to me before, she's Canadian. I don't even know who's fault it is but we don't talk like we did before. It's probably her fucking boyfriend giving her the emotional support that I used to give her. She doesn't rly need me anymore. I don't want it to end I really thought we were platonic soulmates and I thought we'd be 80 together still best friends. Maybe that's just me being naive. This is how it goes with friendships for normal women isn't it, they eventually find a partner & then suddenly you're no longer #1 for them. You can't compare

Then there's my second best friend, who IS local & who I've known for 14 years...since we were 14 and starting high school. I've known her as long as I didn't know her. and yet she has let me down more times than I can count & I'm sure I've let her down the same. Every time I try to talk to her about what's going on I just end up feeling like shit bc she tells me I'm triggering her or whatever. Ok. Like she rly said "I'm not the sort of person who can hear this stuff & go on my merry way" I'm sorry I said like four sentences about what happened with the guy w/the gun but how the fuck do you think I feel having to LIVE this shit firsthand??? Pop quiz do I fucking sound like I'm going on my merry way about it or do I sound traumatized???? I feel emotionally distant from her too & don't even know if I want to keep being friends but I'm a coward so I'll probably just let it fade rather than making a clean break.

Then there's my third & final friend, who I've known the longest but who I only recently reconnected with. She's fun to hang out with but that's only when she doesn't flake & leave me on read for a month, which she does so consistently that I'm ready to just stop trying.

It sucks seeing my sister with all these super strong bulletproof friendships, both local & abroad, that she formed in primary school & more in college (years that I entirely wasted being a depressed shut in) & are still going strong. She's always going out for drinks with them or watching movies on FaceTime & I'm here alone in my room binge eating & watching fucking greys anatomy of all things wondering if I will ever have a successful life with a friend group I can count on & knowing deep down that the answer is no.

I feel like I don't even ask for much. Like yes I want to be a famous writer ideally but I think I'd be happy just writing my stuff for a niche audience & having a bunch of fucking friends to do things & go places with. I'm not even looking forward to my Japan trip anymore bc my best friend isnt even excited to see me for the first time in 5 yrs & I probably can't save up enough anyways due to having to pay the mortgage on this fucking house the whole summer which was when I had the most work. Now I'm gonna be lucky to get two days a week & have only Saturday ON shift guaranteed. I couldn't save up anything when I had the chance so now I'm screwed

Oh and my room is a fucking stye again. A real depression den. Kratom powder & empty junk food wrappers & dirty clothes all over the floor & bed. Unreal how I keep letting it get this bad repeatedly

[thenexusofsouls]

{i am the caretaker of souls} Sorry guys, I know I'm flaking on tonight and not getting anything done. The Mother's Day Sads™ hit early today and I've just been unable to focus or feel creative much at all. I have to get up early tomorrow too so I can't stay up that late, but I will try in the next couple hours to get as much done as I can because I know there are several of you who really look forward to getting replies each week and I don't want to disappoint. I'll do the best I can. <3

In other news, Raiden has been stirring a lot lately, so over the next couple weeks I'd really like to try to do some things with him, if anyone is interested. I'm particularly soft for his MGS4 verse right now. I know his "About" posts are... A Lot™, so if anyone wants a quick, basic rundown of him, I can provide that. I understand not everyone wants to do that much reading on a muse, heh.

[dandywonderous]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @kiaxet

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

210, but about 110 of those have been copied over from my old FFN account (almost all of the One Piece fics, basically).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

709,457

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I'm mostly only writing for Rise of the TMNT, but I have written a lot for One Piece and Free!, as well as Twisted Wonderland, Persona 5, Fire Emblem 3 Houses, FFXV, KnB, and others.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good (ROTTMNT) 2. Tight Fit (FFXV) 3. Tapping Out (ROTTMNT) 4. Lab Accident (ROTTMNT) 5. Things Overheard (Hiding Under the Bed of the King of Athens) (Hades)

5. Do you respond to comments?

No |'D I don't know why but it just gives me anxiety so I don't. I do appreciate the comments, I'm just bad at responding. I'm sorry!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably this old fic where Sanji just dies in the end, but I think I have fics that are angstier in the middle even if they end better. For something that's not just the character dying, probably Herbal Tea (ROTTMNT), or maybe Failures and Heroes (You and Me) (ROTTMNT)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings so this is hard! Probably a tie between Tight Fit and IMBI, since those have their central characters going through pure hell but getting all kinds of love in the end (including romantic love in Prompto's case).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once. This is the hazard of writing AkeShu (P5) lmao.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY I sure do. I write all kinds of smut, including a few gross kinks most people put in their hard nos. If you're poking around in my full fic list proceed with caution. Lately since I've been writing so much ROTTMNT I haven't been writing smut, though, since I'm more into the canon for the fluff and family feels. The last smut fic I wrote was The Appearance of Impropriety (FE3H), which is a Dimitri/Edelgard/Hubert threesome. And before that, it was a TWST AzuJami fic that, well, took advantage of Azul's octopus anatomy, if you get what I'm sayin'.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't really written fandom crossovers since I was a teenager and tbh I don't remember much about them, I think they were more crackfics than anything serious. I have written several AUs that use other fandoms, though. Probably the weirdest one I've actually written is a Free! RinRei Dragon Age AU, where Rin is a templar and Rei is a mage (the forbidden love of it all). I also have waaaay too many ideas in my head for an ROTTMNT FFX AU where Mikey is a summoner.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I remember back in my FFN days I would occasionally search up my fics and find them c/ped to random clickbait sites, probably as a bot scrapping operation. But to my knowledge I've never actually had anyone take one of my fics and claim it as theirs. Even that bot reposting still had my username attached lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! The fabulous @e-turn has translated several of my ROTTMNT fics into Russian! I've had other requests before, too, but I'm not sure how far those went. If anyone does want to translate my works, feel free! Just be sure you're crediting me, and if it's going on AO3 be sure to link the original!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have done some co-writing and some fic round robin events but none of them ever got to the point where they actually got published, because someone would flake out or we would just lose steam. I might be up for it, if it were a project we were both really invested in, but I'd probably have to be friends with the co-writer first.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

MMM this is hard... probably RinRei from Free! I've never felt quite as intensely about a ship as I did that one.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hold On To Me (KnB); I love it but I am so far out of KnB fandom at this point haha.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voice, I think; it's what I usually get compliments on and what I feel the best writing. In a way, fanfiction (and fandom RP) has really helped me think about characterization. Something I was certainly guilty of in my younger days (and that a lot of amateur writers are guilty of) was having my characters act as vehicles for plot, doing or saying whatever I needed them to in the moment to move the plot where it needed to go. This meant none of my characters had any kind of consistent characterization and all of them were samey. We joke about "he wouldn't fucking say that," but in a funny way this kind of thinking really got me to think about characterization and character agency. Before I would say, "we need to get from point A to point B, so let's do that." After trying to get into the groove of writing already strongly characterized characters, and please an audience with certain expectations, I found myself thinking really hard about what would motivate a character from point A to point B, and if the circumstances I'd set up weren't enough to cause that, I'd need to tweak them, or better yet, explore what I think the character WOULD actually do in that scenario (which may be more fun anyway). This is a skill I think fanfiction is great for helping new writers develop.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I wish I had stronger word choice at times, and had stronger imagery. I'll read lines in other people's work that just blow me away haha. I could never write so poetically, I think.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If you are good at a language, or have someone fluent helping you out, then go for it. There's no reason any work needs to be written in only one language. I'm not a purist on this. That said I also think writing "he said in Spanish" or something like that is fine. If it serves your purposes better for your fic to all be in one language, or you aren't confident enough to write in a different language, then you can just make it clear to your audience that a different language is being spoken now. Especially because I come from a lot of anime fandoms, I'm used to there being a sort of unspoken understanding that the characters are not speaking English and what we're getting is just the English approximation/localization of what they're saying. So this doesn't bother me. And of course, throwing in random Japanese exclamations in an otherwise English language fic always comes off a bit campy. I do think it's fine for things like terms of address and nicknames, though. I've never really gotten the hubbub over not having honorifics like "-san" or "-chan" in fics because the same people who usually hate that are also fine with "Señor" or "Mademoiselle" in writing and, like, what's the difference? Idk if any of what I said answers the question. My thoughts are that it's variable, ig.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically it was for the book Alas, Babylon, and it was a class assignment in 9th grade English.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ah this is hard... IMBI is my longest fic and I'm really proud of how it turned out, but I think I'll always have a soft spot for I Keep on Hopin' (We'll Eat Cake by the Ocean) (TWST) - warning that this fic is NSFW and has explicit smut.

Idk who to tag. @aria-faye @unpredictable-probabilities @daboyau ? Anyone else who wants to do it feel free!

[sourweather-fics]

Will knows that he's left this for too long. He's known it for a while. Ignored it in favor of other things, letting it fester and naively hoping that by the time he came back to it there might be something to salvage. He can't leave it any longer.

He moves for the door, nodding awkwardly to Jimmy as he passes. Neither of them follow. They know, probably, that something explosive is about to happen. Best not to be caught in the blast.

Bev is sitting in the driver's seat of her parked car. She doesn't seem surprised when Will approaches, doesn't stop him from opening the passenger's door and falling into the seat beside her. She certainly doesn't look happy about it, but she doesn't stop him.

"Go away, Will," she says, making a point out of looking out the window.

'Come on, don't be like that.' It doesn't matter, and he knows it. She's turned away. Fun thing about being Nonverbal, you can't make anyone hear what you have to say.

'Look at me.' Nothing. Will huffs. 'I'm not leaving. You might as well talk to me, unless you wanna be here all day.'

"I said go inside," she insists, crossing her arms. "Go hang out with Lecter, like you always do."

Real mature, Katz. 'Bev, seriously. I know I've been flaking on you a lot, but— Christ, you're not even listening to me.' he snaps his fingers, demanding her attention. She still won't give it to him.

'You're being so stupid right now!' he signs, and she doesn't move. 'Really? You're just gonna ignore me? Fucking— I'm so scared of needles that I pass out when I get my blood drawn at the doctor. I once had a wet dream about the dentist from 'Little Shop of Horrors'. I'm scared to get closer to you because I don't want you to realize how sad and shitty my life is and start feeling bad for me!'

It feels weirdly good. Like talking to a brick wall. He's not here to talk to a brick wall, though. Will grabs Beverly by the arm.

She yanks away, but she finally looks at him. "Let me go!"

'Don't shut me out, Bev.'

Maybe it's the gravity of the look on his face, but she settles. She frowns hard at him, more wounded than angry. "What do you even want?"

'To fix things?' he offers. 'I get it. You're pissed at me. Can we talk?'

"I don't know, can we? Because it's seemed pretty fucking impossible to get through to you, lately."

Will sighs. 'That's not fair.'

Bev blinks, and he can tell that he's said the wrong thing. Strike one. "Oh, I'm sorry, am I being too hard on you? You've been treating me like shit lately, Will. You spend all your time with Lecter, and you don't talk to me about anything anymore!"

'I... I've had a lot of shit going on,' he replies slowly, trying hard to keep a firm grip on his feelings. 'Personal shit.'

"Right. And I'm like, a second-class friend, so I get axed."

'You know that's not what I meant.'

[gettatranslations]

My Hair Clip is a Pickled Plum！Yumigeta Ako (23.09.04)

Good evening🌝

I'm Yumigeta Ako 🛑

Thank you very much for your comments！

Lots of you said that you came to Tachikawa！！

Thank you very much♪ It was so much fun！Plus your comments that my costume suits me made me really happy❗️

I also enjoyed reading all of your comments about 「I WISH」😂

Did you all hear my declaration？

（My enthusiasm for the Autumn Tour）

I put all my emotions into my declaration、笑lol

Since I've said it now I'll give it my all and do my best。

WOWWOWWOW

Also I posted my new costume in yesterday's blog！

Lookー！Doesn't this hair clip resemble something …？

What is it！

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Time's Up

A picked plum (umeboshi)〜！

Doesn't it look like oneー？！It does right！？！

I didn't think that deeply about it、I just chose it because it was a flower in my member colour 笑lol

Maybe it's because the clip part is hidden？It really looks like a pickled plum！

It made me hungry〜

By the way the clip below it also had red gemstones、and my earrings look like yellow baby's breath flowers！

I chose them all myself〜 I love them♡

Before I joined Morning I didn't wear my hair down often so I never really used hair clips、so wearing all these clips made me happy！

I wonder what clips I'll wear next〜🤣

Look forward to finding out！

⋆┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⋆

Well then it's time for today's 【Gettaa Life】✨

Today I want to introduce my favourite dinner…

Sorry it's not at all aesthetic 🤣

Although I said it's dinner

I actually eat this when

「I had a late lunch today so I'm not really hungry but I don't want to wake up hungry in the middle of the night」✨

It's cucumber covered in sesame oil and spicy chili flakes and salted koji〜 It's so delicious☺️

The flavour is pretty strong but cucumbers are healthy so I can eat it guilt free！

I Getted 「A healthy recipe」！

I want you all to make it tooー！

It also tastes good with garlic if you can eat it when you have nothing planned for the next day🧄

Maybe you could also use the finely chopped cucumbers that they sell at the convenience store？

🍳🧂🍲🍳🧂🍲🍳🧂🍲

That's all！This has been 【Gettaa Life】！

⋆┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⋆

T/N News and information has not been translated

⋆┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⋆

I've had so many happy things happen recently！

The bento we had at today's lesson was super delicious！

There were lots of little onigiri、

There was a crunchy pickled plum oneー and a Chinese fried rice oneー and a seafood one！

And one with hamburg steak inside and fluffy boiled egg♡

I also ate hamburg steak last night so I'm happy because I've eaten lots of hamburg steak recently💞

Eating meat makes you happy…！

Everyone what meat dish makes you the happiestー？！

Please let me know in the comments！

By the way I like yakiniku🥩‪🔥

Oh but hamburg steaks are great tooーo

Well then I'll see you tomorrow！

This has been YumiGettaa Ako！Good night 🐭🐭🐭

[emmebearpaw]

i wrote something it's just about my oc, Molly, for a theoretical ttrpg I want to run one day, it's like, a theoretical missing scene for the game because I don't have any players for the game (and it's not done lol). I had to cut for the night since I'm not crying within an hour of bed time. It's probably not great but it's readable! If you have any questions about them please ask I like talking about my ocs. 590 words, Content warnings for: Description of object through the head and air being able to enter the skull without blood/gore, parental death, contemplating one's own death!

Their head hurt.

Well. It's not like that was a new revelation. A giant crystal of unknown and mysterious origin jutting from one's eye socket was bound to hurt. The dull ache that bored through them was not a secret to anyone as the ad hoc investigation team crawled into their sleeping bags. And neither was the strange weather. Nevada in June shouldn't snow. According to everyone else, it wasn't snowing in town. It had never snowed in town And yet the crunch of snow beneath their feet accompanied them as steadfast as the ache as they paced through the silent snowy oasis of trees and stone. It was no wonder the government had sent people to investigate Sandia Lake, as it had been named. It shouldn't exist at all.

The mining town was gone. The people who lived here before the miners were gone. Everyone else on the expedition was.

The sting of their eye was drowned out by another wave of ache as they knelt down to the rough stone, not crystal, they placed just the night before.

"Hey Dad. I'm back again"

The grave does not respond.

"Yeah, everything was... fine... today. We're making some progress for sure" Molly paused, as if listening for his response before continuing

"I'm sorry for always visiting so late at night, I'm sure you are tired even if I'm not. Plus, the investigation is certainly keeping us busy." The silence continued before Molly did.

"Well, I guess it's not quite... 'us'. Nearly everyone went to town and then some mine nearby- you remember Dalton Mine right? We used to get supplies there back-" they don't finish the sentence. "Well, apparently it closed down a few decades ago, but the tunnels probably connect to those we were exploring yesterday. So I mostly just sat around, they only got back about dinner time."

Molly chuckles, leaning back into the snow, flakes continuing to fall. "I'm sure if you were alive you would say it's rather silly for me to be coming to talk to you every day, we didn't even visit Mom this much, and I know you missed her a lot, but-"

There is no gust of wind.

"I was going to try to excuse it by saying I was lonely, but then you'd just tease me for being to shy to talk to other people again, wouldn't you?"

The grave, still, does not respond.

"It's just. I mean, they are admittedly very strange."

The birds do not chirp, for there are no birds.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry that was rude of me to say, especially since they've been so nice to me but I guess I've just been thinking about what happens when the investigation ends.

The bugs do not chime, for there are no bugs.

"Once they figure out what's going on, they'll all leave and go home. But I still won't be able to go with them, won't I?"

No one responds.

"Or maybe I'll just die again and then they won't have to worry about teaching me about "cars" or finding me clothes for when it's hot or bringing me food to ea-"

There is no one to respond.

"Dad. I. I don't want to be alone-"

Water rolls down their face. Whether its snow or tears, they don't dare investigate.

"Why didn't I die, Dad?"

He doesn't answer.

"I-I... am I gonna die again, Dad?"

He can't answer that. They know that. They are laying next to a grave as the night air seeps into their skull. and yet they can't help but say.

"Why... why am I more scared that I won't?"

Time to write. motivation to write. absolutely no inspiration because my head is full of stories i don't want to share. truly i am cursed

[girl-of-many-fandoms]

Second To Her // 2

Pairing: Shang-Chi x Reader

Summary: Conversations in the dark are much better

Warnings: none

Part 1 Part 2

I have one more fic lined up to be posted and then I'll be focused solely on studying for final exams, I hope you all enjoy this one 💕

MASTERLIST

----

Y/N's POV

Groaning for what seemed to be the millionth time I threw the covers off of me and sat up on the bed. It's been a week sleeping in a bed without Shaun to keep me warm and I hate every second of it, yes the pillow he slept on faintly has his scent but I needed him

2:25am

The stupid clock next to me flashed it's angry red colour at me, mocking me. Stretching my hand to the nightstand I grabbed my phone, a smile played on my lips at the sight of my wallpaper; Shaun was hugging me from behind, both our smiles could've lit up a town

I should call him

Chewing on my bottom lip I contemplated if I should, it's late and I don't want to disturb him

Y/N just close your eyes, you'll fall asleep soon enough

Locking the device I returned it to its original spot and attempted to get some rest

------

Shang-Chi's POV

2:40am

I hate this

Sitting up against the headboard I combed my fingers through my hair; I can't take this for much longer

Well, it's technically your fault that you're not next to her

The voice in my head was right, I am the cause of my own misery. I should've told Katy that I couldn't come over that day but she was freaking out and I couldn't leave her like that

Y/N was right, over the week that we've been apart I really thought about all the times I flaked her off to run to Katy whenever we were spending time together and let me just say, it happened way more than I had initially thought

I love Y/N there's no doubt about it; she's kind, intelligent, caring, beautiful and witty, she also packs a mean punch

I miss having her next to me, hearing her voice

I'm an idiot

Call her

Picking up the device I unlocked it, her beautiful face lit up my screen. Opening my contacts, I scrolled down to her name and without any regards to the time, I called her

Please answer

----

Y/N's POV

My eyes opened at the vibrations of my phone. The device lit up and I reached for it

Shaun

Answering it I put the phone to my ear

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Sorry for waking you, I know it's late"

"You didn't wake me up, I couldn't sleep"

"Me either" there was a short pause in conversation, we both just sat there in silence listening to each other's breathing

"Shaun I-"

"I miss you Y/N"

"I miss you too"

"I have have so much to say but I can't say them over the phone, can I come over?"

"Sure"

"Okay, great I'll be there in a few minutes" I hung up and got out of bed. I missed him so much and we really need to talk about us

I made my way down the hall to the living room and turned on the television to occupy myself until he got here. I don't know why I'm feeling anxious, I've seen him so many times before, maybe it's because the last time we spoke we ended up in a screaming match

There was a jingle of keys at the front door before it opened; Shaun walked in and locked it behind him. He stood there awkwardly, visibly fighting the urge to immediately find his way over to me

"That was quick"

"Yeah, well I had to get here before you changed your mind"

I gestured for him to have a seat on the other end of the sofa and he did. He wiped his palms on the grey sweatpants he wore a couple times

"I'm going to speak, I just need you to hear me out" angling himself to face me he continued

"I'm sorry, I know it's a weak ass apology but I truly am. The things you said about me always running off to Katy was right, I hadn't noticed how often that happened until you brought it up" he paused reading me to get a sense on how to continue

"I'm sorry for not realizing what I've been doing all those times, could you forgive me?"

"You're an idiot" his frown deepened not knowing where I was going with this. Getting off the sofa I moved to stand in front of him

"It took you so long to realize what you'd been doing, can't say I'm surprised because I'm not" his eyebrows were drawn together as he waited for me to continue

"You're an idiot, yes" I straddled his lap, his hands immediately resting on my hips, his confusion melted away and a smile now sat on his face

"But you're my idiot, I forgive you but don't ever let it happen again unless she's actually in danger or something is drastically wrong" cupping his face in the palms of my hands I lovingly stared down at him

"I promise, I love you Y/N"

"I love you too"

He puckered his lips and I kissed him, I kissed him like he was the oxygen I needed to breathe. I needed this, him, I needed him. Our innocent kiss quickly turned into a heated make out session, my mouth fell open when he thrusted his hips upwards brushing his hardening member against me

As if I weighed nothing, Shaun stood up and took us to the bedroom. I left kisses along his jaw and down his neck as be laid me down on the queen sized bed

"You know, I think we were in the middle of something last time" his voice was an octave lower; he undid the buttons of the shirt of his I wore to bed

"My memory is a bit foggy, remind me"

Let's just say that he did remind me of where we left off, how beautiful I was and how much he loved me, many, many times.

----

Part 2 as requested!

@fofocuddlypooops

[blueeyedgeorgie]

The One That Got Away-Dream Was Taken

Pronouns: She/her

Word Count: 2.4k+

_____________

'You're gonna be there, right?'

Y/n bit her lip, reading the text message for what felt like the millionth time. She had texted him 40 minutes ago, yet no reply. This had become so much more common recently and she had no idea why. Maybe it wasn't such a big deal, but it felt important to Y/n. Clay would never leave her on delivered for more than ten minutes. Even when he was streaming, he'd text her before he had begun, telling her when he'd be finished.

Tonight was an important night, they had been planning for this for months. A few members of The Dream SMP server had come out to Florida to meet up. They had planned to meet up for dinner and maybe a bottle of wine at Y/n's house afterward.

Y/n admired herself in the mirror, she wore a black dress that complimented her body well. She felt gorgeous for the first time in weeks. Usually, she didn't rely on items to make her feel good about herself. Clay was always there to compliment her or assure she was pretty. But recently, he just seemed to disappear.

It felt so hard to connect with him recently, Clay had become so quiet. Every time she texted him, she was left on delivered for hours if she wasn't left on read. It was rare for him to even send a brief text back to her nowadays. Weeks had passed since the last time Y/n was able to see Patches or hang out with Clay.

At this point, it felt like Y/n was at war with herself. Half of her was so demotivated, maybe it was time to finally leave Clay alone. The other half was demanding they had to keep trying, their friendship was just going through a rough patch right now.

'You know why you're trying to hold onto this friendship, you have feelings for him.' Y/n swallowed hard while the thought of Clay appeared in her mind again. It was true, she had grown a small crush on her blonde friend. But it wasn't her fault, It was because of the way he use to be so protective of her. The way his face lit up when he laughed. The way he just knew something was wrong. 'But that doesn't matter. It's obvious he'll never feel the same way about you.'

Before she had gotten another chance to argue with herself, Y/n's phone had buzzed. Clay? ...Wilbur.

'Hey, I'm gonna uber to the restaurant in the next few minutes. On your way?"

Letting out a sigh, she typed away. 'Getting in the car in five minutes.' She took one more glance at herself in the mirror. "He's going to be there, I know it."

"Y/n!"

"George!" Y/n smiled, picking up her pace as soon as she spotted her friend. Their arms wrapped around each other, holding one another tight. "It's so good to see you."

George let out a short laugh, "It's good to see you too, Y/n." He pulled away from the hug. He had dressed in a suit, they had planned to meet at an expensive restaurant for the night. It was recommended by Clay, it was one of his favorites.

"Anyways, we should go find our table, I think Wilbur's already here."

The pair walked side by side, friendly banter being spoken between them as they entered the restaurant. Nostalgia immediately hit Y/n as they passed through the doors, it wasn't her first time here. Multiple times in the past, Clay had brought Y/n out to eat here. The first time they ate here was the first time she had seen him in a suit.

"Y/n?"

"Oh, yes?" The h/c girl had quickly snapped back into reality, looking to her right. "I'm sorry, lost my train of thought for a moment."

"It's fine, I think I see Wilbur." George motioned to look across the room, there at a round table was another friend from the UK. Wilbur sat down, looking at something in his lap.

Biting down on her lip, Y/n had to fight back the urge to yell aloud; "Wilbur!" And run to him. When the lanky man had noticed his friends, he smiled and stood from his chair.

"Wilbur!" she whispered quietly, trying not to disturb the other tables. Quickly she shuffled over to give as big a hug as she could.

"Y/n!" He whispered back, returning the exact energy she gave.

One by one, more and more friends had arrived. Everyone seemed so happy to see each other. Eventually, it seemed as though each person was lost in a conversation... besides Y/n. She had been staring down at her phone, she was still left on delivered by Clay. 'What a dick.'

"hey, Y/n." Her head shot up, looking across the table. Niki sat there with a smile, "Just curious, is Clay showing up tonight?"

Y/n's smile faded for a second, only to reappear. "I... I doubt it. I haven't received a text message back from him, and he hasn't answered any of my calls for these past few days." She ignored George and Nick, who gave each other a certain look as she spoke. But at this point, it didn't matter. Clay wasn't going to ruin Y/n's night with her friends.

"Here, let me try and call him... would that be alright, Y/n?" George was already standing as he spoke, his phone in one of his hands.

She flashed a faked smile at him, "Yeah, I don't care, Gogy."

With that, George had excused himself from the table, already beginning to pull up Clay's contact before he even reached outside. Y/n help her breathe for a moment, watching her British friend disappear around the corner, out of sight. Usually, 'out of sight, out of mind' made sense, but not in this case. Y/n could feel her stomach doing backflips as she glanced from her phone, checking the time, only to look back to see if George had returned yet. It practically felt like time had slowed down, trying to drag these few minutes out as long as possible.

When George had returned, Y/n could already tell he didn't have good news. Just by the look on his face, she knew Clay had flaked out on all of his friends.

"Clay's gonna be a little bit late, he's bringing a surprise with him."

"A surprise?"

What surprise could Clay possibly be planning? Whatever it was, Y/n hoped it would be something to help keep their friendship from breaking apart. "Did he mention how long it'd take for him to show up?"

"He said, 15-20 minutes."

"So let's just order drinks now, he can get whatever he likes when he shows up.

If time wasn't slow enough while George was on the phone, it felt like she was stuck in time. Y/n had begun to pick at her nails nervously, this was going to be the first time they saw one another in weeks.

"Hey," Y/n felt Wilbur place a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her thoughts again. "Look."

She glanced up at the entrance. There he was, wearing the suit she had seen him wear for the first time. A giant grin was on Clay's face as he walked, he looked to his left. And there she was... a blond-haired girl wearing the exact same dress Y/n had picked out for tonight. Y/n could feel her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

"Hey guys," Clay spoke as soon as he came into earshot of his friends. Looking over the table, his eyes looked with Y/n's for a short second. "I want you to meet Elise."

One by one, Elise had introduced herself to each of Clay's friends. But when she reached Y/n, it felt like a stab in the stomach. "Omg, hi! You must be Y/n!" She was pulled into a quick, bone-breaking hug, "I love your dress! Oh, we're matching! How cute!" She just seemed to perfect, she was so much better than Y/n.

While an extra chair had been pulled up the table, everyone was lost in conversation. Except for Y/n, she had stayed quiet. Every now and then, she'd look over to Clay, who sat across the table. Their eyes would lock every couple of times, a strange feeling laid in the pit of her stomach when it would happen.

It seemed as though Wilbur had caught onto Y/n's anxiety. He was quick to offer his hand, allowing his friend to hold it under the table. Wilbur had always been a good friend to her, if Y/n wouldn't tell Clay about something, she'd turn to her brunette friend. So of course, he knew about her feelings towards Clay.

After placing everyone's orders, Y/n just couldn't take it anymore. Standing, she moved across the table. "Clay, could I get a moment to speak to you outside?"

"Uh, sure... Y/n." He was hesitant to stand. Before leaving the table, he had whispered something into Elise's ear.

The short walk outside was quiet. There was obvious tension between them. When the front doors opened, Clay had begun to speak.  "I-"

"No. Not right here. Around the corner." Y/n didn't stop walking, making a direct beeline for the alleyway on the left of the building. She could hear Clay let out a sigh behind her, only making her fight the urge to yell a brief; 'fuck you,' at him.

When they were finally around the corner, she had turned on her heels to face the 6'3 man. "What the fuck, Clay?"

"What?"

" 'What?' You don't get to ghost me for weeks then reply with, 'what?'  Do you know what a dick move that is? Where have you been?" She practically hissed at him, crossing her arms as she spoke. If it was possible, steam would leave her body from how upset she was.

"I've been busy, Y/n."

"Busy? So that means you cut me out of your life? After being friends for months?"

"You aren't the most important thing in my life, Y/n. You should know that." It was Clay's turn to give Y/n a nasty look. But at this point, she didn't care.

"I know, I shouldn't be the most important person in your life, Clay. But that doesn't mean shut me out of your life." She snapped at him, pushing herself up against his chest, "You know what would've been nice? Not being left on delivered or read. It would've been nice if I could receive a text every now and then catching me up about your life."

"As I said, I was busy."

"Busy! That's your only excuse, pathetic. I can tell you're busy, you have a girlfriend and I never got to meet her."

"Well,-"

"Am I the only one who didn't know about her?"

Clay froze. he knew this was the end of the line for him.

"Clay." His silence spoke loud enough. "I'm happy for you, I really am. But... it fucking hurts, you know." Y/n let out a short giggle, she could feel her eyes watering. "I loved you, you know. I loved you so damn much. If you told me to do something, I'd do it with hesitation. But it's crystal clear the feelings aren't mutual."

"Y/n..."

"No, it's fine. I'm gonna leave. Don't worry, I've ruined the night, I'm sorry. Enjoy your time with your friends, Clay. Don't let me rain on your parade any longer." Y/n had stepped back, trying to move past her friend.

"Y/n, listen to me."

"Move, Clay. God damn it."

For a few seconds, Clay continued to try and catch her attention, refusing to let her past. "Y/n, shut the fuck up. Listen to me." Out of frustration, Clay had grabbed onto the girl's shoulders, pushing her against the wall. Y/n looked down at the ground, batting back tears. "Y/n..." he sighed, moving one of his hands under her chin gently. Carefully, he made her look up at him. He always hated seeing her cry.

"I'm an idiot. A big one. Y/n... I love you too. I just didn't think you felt the same, so I decided to push you out. I looked for love somewhere else and I found Elise. But Y/n, I really do love you."

"No, you don't..." Y/n whispered softly, she shook her head as a dumb smile appeared on her face. "If you loved me, you would've made a move. You wouldn't have closed me out of your life for weeks. You wouldn't have found someone new to love. Please don't bullshit me, Clay. You know I'm not stupid."

"Y/n..." clay could feel his heart begin to crack, it hurt to see her like this.

"Please just let me go," her voice was soft as she spoke. He really did hurt her heart. "I want to say goodbye to my friends."

"I..." Letting out a sigh, he stepped back, "alright."

Clay watched as Y/n disappeared around the corner, wiping tears from her face. Why was he such a fool to let her go?

Y/n smiled as soon as her table came into sight. It would all be quick and easy. As soon as Elise noticed her, she stood from her seat. "Oh my god, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit chilly outside," Y/n replied, pulling Elise in for a hug. "It was so nice to meet you. You're such a lovely girl to talk to."

"Right back at you," Elise smiled at Y/n, taking her seat again.

One by one, Y/n gave each of her friends a hug goodbye. When Wilbur held her, she was quick to whisper something brief to him: "Walk me to my car?" Wilbur nodded, taking her purse for her as they walked out. On their way out, Clay had passed by them. He kept to himself, looking the other way when Y/n came into sight. When he was out of earshot, Wilbur spoke up.

"Are you okay?"

"Honestly, no. I just wanna go home and cry." Y/n let out a huff of breath. She was speed walking to keep up with her tall friend.

"Do you want me to tag along?"

"Please." As the night continued on, it seemed like both Clay's and Y/n's moods had changed drastically. While Y/n was at home watching movies and laughing with one of her best friends, Clay was stuck in the place that reminded him of Y/n, thinking about how she'd be the one who got away. Did it hurt him? Yes, but he deserved it. He was the one who ruined it all. Nothing would be the same after tonight.

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 - 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.1k

warnings: swearing, slight angst in the beginning but not really, fluff

i owe you guys an apology. i’m not very active on tumblr as of posting. i’m sorry about that. school has been hard on me and i’ve been very stressed. i’ll try to do better in the future :)

listen to the music masterlist

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Armin was discharged from the hospital only a day after the accident. The doctor said there was nothing extraordinary to worry about. But of course, even with this information, Eren still made a fuss. That much was clear when he walked through the door with Armin's arm slung over his shoulder.

"I didn't break my leg, Eren. I don't need to use you as a crutch," Armin grumbled as the two walked into the kitchen from the garage. He reached back to shut the door with his free hand.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for supporting you in these trying times."

"I don't need your support," they scoffed. He unwrapped his arm and made his way across the room.

Eren gave him the finger, rather aggressively. The gesture wasn't reciprocated since the blond already disappeared into the hallway.

Sucking on a freeze pop, you leaned back against the cool countertop. "Welcome home, lovely. Have fun?"

Eren sighed loudly as he walked toward the freezer and got a popsicle for himself. He grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the top of the wrapper off into the trash.

He said sarcastically, "Oh, absolutely I did." He paused and shook his head disapprovingly. "He's a lot bitchier when it's us two. How's it been here?"

You shrugged. "So, so. Pretty quiet."

He nodded and pushed up the pineapple-flavored ice. "Thought so. Jean's gone today, obviously. Is Mikasa here?"

You huffed softly at the mention of her. "I haven't seen her since breakfast. She's been upstairs all day."

He frowned. "Oh, I see. Armin told me about the kiss, by the way. At first, I was gonna make fun of you for passing out but now that just seems cruel."

"You think?" You laughed lightly and rested both arms on the counter.

The sound that followed from him was more of an exhale than a laugh. "Listen, Y/n, even if she's avoiding you right now, I know she'll come around. Just wait and see."

"You're right," you mumbled, sticking the freeze pop in your mouth again. Armin basically said the same thing. Eren sent you a quick smile and patted your shoulder before leaving through the hallway.

You swallowed the remaining ice and threw away the wrapper. Noticing the bin was full, you took the trash to the bigger bin outside. Maybe doing some chores would distract you from Mikasa for a while.

Plus, today was the only day that allowed you to do so. Practices for the band's upcoming performance were every day until the date of it. You'd be rehearsing 24/7 since it was scheduled on such short notice.

It was going to be at a middle school some of your friends went to. The DJ they booked before flaked and your manager was kind enough to offer your talents.

Jean was meeting with Hannes and the school administrators to work out some extra kinks before the practices began.

The only day there wasn't a rehearsal was on Eren's birthday. You all decided it'd be best to take the day off to celebrate and set up for the party that would be happening later in the night.

The day passed easily as you got caught up on chores that weren't done over the past few days. The house was messier than you liked it although it hadn't been long at all since the previous clean-through. However, it had been a hectic week.

Speaking of hectic, when Zeke was there, he sure made himself at home. That much was clear when you made it to the living room portion of the basement.

Eren probably couldn't find time to clean up yet. Either that or he was just lazy because at that moment he was more focused on a pinball machine than the state of his living space.

His brother's suitcases were lying open by the couch. To be honest, you didn't love the idea of a criminal's possessions lying around your home. So, you decided that throwing them in a storage closet was the best option. 

When you finished tidying up, you started a game on the pinball machine next to Eren's.

His birthday was in three days. The house looked a lot better than it did when you started, which was perfect for throwing a party. You could only hope it would stay that way.

After a few hours of playing games with him, Jean came down the stairs to let you know he was back from the school. He left when he saw neither of you were interested in what he had to say.

Once it got dark outside, you left Eren to his own devices and went to your own room to chill out some more.

Unfortunately, when you flopped down on your bed, Mikasa started to consume your thoughts again. In an effort to fight them, you turned on a show to distract yourself.

For the slow hours you spent staring at the screen, you couldn't focus, not once. No matter how hard you trained your eyes on the screen, you still thought about her.

Sighing, you got out of bed and walked to your bedroom door. You were careful of the creaking hinges, it was around midnight. Everyone would either be asleep or close to sleeping.

Except for Armin. You had no idea what he did at night but you knew better than to ask. However, he was probably pretty tired from the time spent at the hospital. So, there was a solid chance he actually was asleep.

You crept outside, checking that the front door didn't make too much noise. Your car was parked in the driveway since there was never room in the garage. The gravel underneath your feet made noise as you walked toward it. You pushed yourself onto the hood and leaned back against the windshield.

Drawing in a long breath, you stared up at the sky. You needed to calm down and clear your mind. This would help, as it usually did.

Even if it was a little chilly, it was warm for a night in March, especially this late.

The stress that bubbled inside you simmered down the longer you watched the thin clouds dim the stars.

Any negative thoughts you had about the situation with Mikasa or the previous days seemed to disappear the longer your focus was on the sky.

Gravel crunched and you snapped your gaze toward the noise. Sitting up, you were surprised by what you saw.

Mikasa froze when she realized she'd been caught. She held a white blanket in her arms and still had one foot on the porch steps.

"Hi," she greeted quietly.

"Hey." Your breaths were a tad ragged from the initial scare.

She came closer to the car. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." You took the blanket from her arms and she pushed herself up to sit beside you.

"The door to your room was open when I came downstairs for a drink. I thought you'd be out here."

"Oh." She knew you better than you thought.

She spread the blanket over both of your laps and leaned down on the hood of the car.

She looked at the sky but your eyes were still on her. "Why did you come out here?"

After a moment of silence, her gaze finally shifted to you. "I wanted to apologize. Ignoring you was immature. Plus, I remember how you used to come out here when you were upset. Above all else, I wanted to make sure you were alright." A blush coated her cheeks when she finished talking.

You took note of that and couldn't help but blush yourself. "I'm okay. I understand why you'd ignore me, though. If you didn't want it, that was probably your only option since we have to see each other so much."

Her brows furrowed and she sat up again. "What? Y/n, did you think I didn't want to kiss you?"

You blinked stupidly. "Well, yeah."

She laughed. "You can be so ridiculous sometimes. I've always wanted to kiss you like that. I'm just not great at expressing it."

Even more heat rushed to your face. You gawked at her and she looked down at her feet. Many things were running wild in your head. For some reason, though, there was one thing that was so prominent in your mind once you remembered it.

Out of all the questions you could have asked, this one came out rather bluntly. "What did you mean in your letter? What should I know?"

Her eyes widened, she didn't expect you to ask about that yet, and quite frankly, neither did you. Nonetheless, she answered anyway. "If only you knew. That's what I wrote. That's easy to answer now. If only you knew how long I've loved you."

She turned her face and made direct eye contact with you. She seemed to know the next question on your mind. "You never knew it but I've been in love with you since high school."

That can't be right. This is a dream. You're dreaming, Y/n. What the actual fuck?

"Are you sure? Then why did you ask Jean out when we were seniors? Why did you break it off with me mere weeks before?" Your mind was racing and it translated into sentences quickly spilling from your lips.

She still looked straight at you. Her facade of confidence was making you nervous. "I'm sure. Back then, I was so afraid of what I felt for you. Pretending the feelings weren't real and projecting them onto Jean seemed like my easiest option. For years I convinced myself I loved him. But it was never him. It was always you. I felt so awful when I realized what I was doing."

And just like that, the facade fell. Her words were no longer held confidence. She was afraid of how you'd react. She had little idea that you were ready to be just as vulnerable as her.

"When did you realize?"

Looking up at the dark sky, she pushed a stray tuft of hair away from her face. She continued, sighing softly before she spoke, "When I saw him that night with Marco, I was relieved that I didn't have to be with him anymore. When I tried to figure out why that was, I could only think about you. Every feeling that scared me before came back. I got so scared that I left. But, even then, they never went away."

You were having some trouble believing that this was actually happening. Mikasa loved you back this entire time. If she hadn't kissed you before, you would've thought this was only possible in your dreams.

However, things were actually starting to make sense. That whole time it was your fault. Every night of those two years you spent wondering about what you could have done to make her stay. It turns out you did enough. You were the reason she left. 

But maybe you were the reason she came back as well. You could recall something Jean had told you a day before she came home.

"Why did you come back? You needed to do something?"

She looked back at you again. "I've just done it," she said.

Before you could process her words, she was leaning closer to you. Her lips were so close to brushing yours but she paused before they could fully touch. "Can I?" she whispered.

"You don't even have to ask."

When she kissed you, you felt everything. Her feelings, your feelings. The world was minuscule compared to you two. Anything else meant nothing at that moment.

It was the first time in a long time that you felt fully complete. You were a puzzle and she was the missing piece. It was like before, only this time, you knew for sure what you wanted.

Pulling away, you managed an, "I love you too, Mikasa." 

There were no other words that would feel so good to finally say out loud.

Everything was clear. You understood. 

Now more than ever, you wanted to be with her.

posted: 9/26/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[anarmorofwords]

so because of all the music talk today I thought i'll finally share my Matthew playlist, ft. a selection of some particularly fitting lyrics etc. - inspired by @itsjusta-j-really's format I'm just putting them under the cut (also because there's A Lot)

warning: many songs on this playlist deal with heavy topics, such as addiction, suicidal thoughts etc., so please keep that in mind

also, you might cry, I'm not sorry

gonna tag @thepictureofsdr @underestimatedgenius too because you like Matthew so maybe you'd be interested

false confidence - Look at you all dressed up for someone you never see// You're here for a reason but you don't know why (...) Don't let those demons in again// I fill the void up with polished doubt, fake sentiment// Surrender yourself

redemption - Father, help me, do you understand?// All my life, I've been a wicked man// Show me mercy and comfort me// I need to find redemption (...) I've never been this far from peace// I'm disappearing out of reach again

achilles come down - I'll just say read this post

spirits - I got guns in my head and they won't go// spirits in my head and they won't go (...) I'll be a dreamer 'til the day I die// and they say, oh, how the good die young?

I'll be good - I thought I saw the devil, this morning// Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue (...) My past has tasted bitter for years now (...) I've been cold, I've been merciless// But the blood on my hands scares me to death// Maybe I'm waking up today

comfort crowd - This hurt that I'm holding's getting heavy// but I'ma keep a smile on my shoulders 'til I'm sweaty (...) Telling you, "I'm fine I don't really need nobody"// but you say through a sigh// that I said that lie already

broken - If you see the boy I used to be// could you tell him that I'd like to find him// and if you see the shell that's left of me// could you spare him a little kindness *sobs*

dancing with the devil - It's just a little red wine, I'll be fine (...) // twisted reality, hopeless insanity// I told you I was okay, but I was lying

when you wash your hair - You did some things that you forgot// drinking wine and smoking pot// you tried to be someone you are not

the fire - 'Cause I've been a devil, I've been a saint// somebody help me, I can't change (...) Ashes in the cold, now I'm running toward the fire// (Runnin' toward, runnin' toward the fire)

mad world - all around me are familiar faces// worn out places, worn out faces (...) And I find it kind of funny// I find it kind of sad// the dreams in which I'm dying// are the best I've ever had

four - *inhales**cries* In this game of hide and seek// I can't help but think that ordinary has swallowed the key// bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust// for a moment we get to be glorious (...) Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure (...) I lost my balance when I needed it most (...) I'm stuck swimming in shadows down here// it's been forever since I came up for air

unsteady - Mama, come here// approach, appear// daddy, I'm alone// 'cause this house don't feel like home (...) whoa, if you love me, don't let go// Hold, hold on, hold onto me// 'cause I'm a little unsteady

ready to go - Jackie's just 17, and hard to please (...) You don't know what she's seen, or where she's been// The devil's dancing toe to toe// when the reaper comes, I'll be ready to go

the show must go on - The show must go on, yeah// inside my heart is breaking// my makeup may be flaking// but my smile, still, stays on (...) another heartache, another failed romance, on and on// does anybody know what we are living for?

tortured soul - Whiskey taste is on my breath// part of me is scared to death// what if I told you the truth? One more sip for a tortured soul// your diggin' my heart in deeper hole// and a thousand thoughts going through my mind

icarus - look who's digging their own grave// That is what they all say; you'll drink yourself to death (...) Icarus is flying too close to the sun// and Icarus' life, it has only just begun (...) Standing on the cliff face, highest fall you'll ever grace// it scares me half to death// look out to the future, but it tells you nothing

perfect places - every night, I live and die// feel the party to my bones (...) meet somebody, take 'em home// let's kiss and then take off our clothes (...) meet somebody, take 'em home// let's kiss and then take off our clothes

sinners - I'll be drinking late with you// until the morning comes around (...) Yeaaah, I must be good for something// yeaaah, yeaah, yeah// oh sinners come down, come gather 'round (...) Drinking gin and dropping lines// wasting beats in this heart of mine// until the morning comes around

monster - If you knew the truth, you'd probably hate me// (...) I need a fight// I've got you, in my sights// only one of us will make it out alive// I'm turning into a monster // My tongue is a weapon and I'm locked and loaded (...) Delirium takes over me// you're just another casualty

play with fire - Insane, inside the danger gets me high// Can't help myself got secrets I can't tell (...) Fire, fire // I've always liked to play with fire// oh, watching as the flames get higher

monster - Ever since I could remember, Everything inside of me, Just wanted to fit in (oh, oh, oh) I was never one for pretenders (...) Everything I touch isn't dark enough// If the problem lies in me