#[ he's gonna steal all ur coins and leave ]

[motylheir]

◜ @lacuen​ ◞ . ♔

              ❝ Hey       hello you richie ! ❞ waved little hands towards the other as approached. ❝ Wanna see the coin trick ? ❞

[nochiquinn]

campaign 3 episode 34: derd

if liam and ashley aren't at the table at the start of the episode I will simply walk into the ocean. I refuse to engage with it.

tonight's supposed to be just under 4 hours and idk why that makes me more nervous than a super-long one

everyone trying to keep frozen while they laugh hysterically (and failing)

taliesin's holding it together the best

oh no there he goes

robbieeee

I once again do not have my earbuds in so I just see sam pop up in the subs going "Wow!"

laura's really pretty tonight

marisha's shirt is going to bother me tho (weird necklines give me second-hand sensory weirdness)

"no wait I have to iron my cat"

"shut up MATT"

show me the table, I need to know how bad it's gonna hurt

oh okay. full table. ….that will probably be worse

fcg: I am just a little creachure

AEOR

oh the way matt said "him"

OH NO

oh no

ELVEN FATHER

hey maTT

I'm gonna puke

"their" WHOMST?

no fearne and orym memories T_T

going to la to fight matt in a denny's parking lot

NO

hey dice gods turn on your location

matt it has TRULY been 15 minutes

"we're the dm now"

I don't know why I thought I could work during this

chetney with one of those sensory chew necklaces

I am ashley

honestly about to go get my emotional support piplup

"now it's a normal-size party" shut the hell your mouth

try to steal from her

"I hate this game"

"fearne" "[gay fear]"

"okay bye ashley"

ASHLEY JOHNSON

"geeze louise"

"it's like carrying a toddler" nancy 😔

"what do you mean orym's dead." just the flat anger

liam if you make orym stay dead bc grief reasons I will fucking fight you

"why would I have a diamond" "because you steal everything"

hi I hadn't actually teared up until now

ashley fucking goddamn johnson

laudna wake up, I don't like this

laudna broom

I appreciate the sentiment on the gas can but I do not believe him

the worst part is that's true

mariSHA

"she stole my coin didn't she"

oh I knew she was gonna swerve

"we can be mad at the changebringer later"

liam o'brien I will fight you in a parking lot

hello 911 liam and matt are murdering me

"you're not done" like fucK YOU

the little whispery voice for will I'm gonna fkcing

"fearnie" fu ck

MARISHA GET BACK IN THAT FUCKING CHAIR OR SO HELP ME

WHEN I SAID I DIDN'T WANT LIAM AND ASHLEY TO LEAVE THE TABLE THAT DIDN'T MEAN THIS

oh don't say it that way he'll break in half

chet

I mean you're valid but

"we clearly threatened you"

"little bitch signal"

whispersss

this is an extremely griffin mcelroy ad read

he forgot to draw his angry eyebrows on first

"I really wanna punch a wall right now" "why do that when his face is right there?"

orym

give him advantage, he stabbed him in the foot

T_T

wait didn't caleb have a thing

alternate timeline ghost thing

my guy they cannot protect themselves from her

use ur wood chetney

I literally only just noticed sam has painted nails

"it only makes sense when she does it" and only barely then

dbza voice: maaaahogany

travis

I miss dariax

matt: it can replace material components

matt: HINT HINT

beacon juice

"I trust ashley johnson, ashley johnson told me she doesn't trust ashley johnson"

Illegal Airport Patdown

all I ever think of is "that's not how you measure pants!"

this is the same day as Angry Eyes???

matt what u do

;-;

RTA

my heart needed that

"god it's awful. I love it!"

"aren't you an orphan?" "…I'm gonna give you ten seconds to work that out."

was it fucking wizard hubris again

taliesin's voice rn

wonder if the Theme of this campaign is being dramatically altered against your will

if not physically then emotional trauma changing how you interact with/see the world (these are not mutually exclusive)

[ducks from the imodna shipper shrapnel]

oh. OH.

delilah would fully zombify her wouldn't she

or it's like a salt circle against delilah possession

"also: u in danger girl"

I desperately need to see travis' etsy search history

"doomsday clock is at Concern"

"this thing is for toddlers!"

"get it off of laudna"

I'm gonna miss Joe

tag urself I'm shady sally

chetney

"grab the kids, I want them to see!" why is that so cute tho

[mighty nein voice] up!

[dreaming-about-fanfictions]

How to hold a sword - Geralt of Rivia x Reader - Part 1 of 2

Summary: You are bored with your life and want more. Luckily, Geralt of Rivia visits the town one day.

Requested by: @just-antiyou “could i request a geralt x reader where the reader is slightly wealthy but hates it and wants to be tougher than she looks so she hites geralt to teacher her and he slowly falls for her but she doesnt comprehend why HER? maybe this made no sense im so sorry i love ur writing pls an thank u stay safe” --> Hope you like it! I decided to make two parts out of the story! <3

Words: 2030 Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x fem!Reader Warnings: none

„Stop wasting my time. “

 „Come on! I can pay you!”

 “Sure you can.”

 “Yes! Don’t you believe me?”

 “Stop bothering me and go home.”

 “I have coin! Here!”

 Finally, the Witcher turned around when he heard the rattling of the coins in your small bag as you held it up. He quickly grabbed your hand, forcing it down. “Are you mad or do you enjoy the idea of being robbed,” he scolded you.

He was right. You were standing in the middle of a busy street, merchants and farmers passing you by as they made their way home from the market. The sun was already beginning to set and the first drunks stumbled out of the tavern to your right. Two working girls shrieked when a man fell against them, landing face down on one of the their bosoms, and angrily pushed him away.

 You let the small bag slip back into the pocket of your coat. “I have coin!”, you repeated yourself.

 “Where’d you get that?”, he demanded to know. “Did you steal it?”

 You snorted. Asshole. “My family owns half the town. Did you not recognize this?!” You pointed at your necklace with the family emblem brightly visible.

 His eyes only grazed shortly over it. “I’m not from here.”

 “Right, because you’re Geralt of Rivia, a Witcher, a famous one – so give me one reason why you would decline my offer?”

 “Teaching spoilt girls how to hold a sword is not in my job description.”

 “First of all,” this time you pointed your finger at him. “I’m not a girl, I’m a woman, so start treating me like one! And secondly, as far as I’m concerned, there is no monster to kill for you at the moment.”

 “There’s always monsters to kill.”

 “Witcher!” A frustrated sigh escaped your mouth. What was his problem?

 Geralt looked at you intensely, his eyes wandering from your face to your pocket, where the coins were stowed, back to your face. He pondered about what the offer would truly mean – letting another person come too close to him rarely resulted in anything good. People around him tend to end up hurt or heartbroken or dead. The last person to experience this had been Jaskier. Years of traveling together and it ended in Geralt chasing him away, blaming him for things that weren’t his fault. This happened a few years back and since then, the two of them had rekindled their friendship, but still. His point remained unchanged.

 However, this could be different. You didn’t seek him out to become friends. It was nothing more than a job. Not to mention that your comment about him not having anything better to do at the moment was true. He could really use the coin. Before Geralt was able to rethink this, he wiped his eyes in a tiring and annoyed matter. “Fine.”

 Your face lit up instantly and a big smile appeared on it. “Yes? Oh thank you!”

 “Ten days.”

 “That’s a good start!”, you exclaimed happily.

 “It’s not a start, it’s all I’m offering,” he corrected you. Were you always this cheerful or just when you got your way? “What do I get out of it?”

 “Three coins for each day.”

 The Witcher raised an eyebrow. There was far more in that bag of yours and you both knew it. “Eight.”

 “Four.”

 “Seven.”

 “Witcher!”

 “Six then.”

 “Five.”

“Deal,” he nodded.

 Your smile grew even wider. “Thank you! This is fantastic!”

 The only acknowledgment you got for that statement was a low grunt. He wasn’t so sure about it being a fantastic idea. “Meet me here tomorrow when the sun rises. Do you own a sword?”

 He let out a sigh when you shook your head. “Of course you don’t. Doesn’t matter. Tomorrow, when the sun rises! Understood?”

 “Understood!”

 ***

 You arrived early the next morning. The excitement for the days to come was too overwhelming so after hours of tossing and turning and occasionally falling into a half slumber, you decided to cut the night short.

 You nervously looked around you. Despite the late (or rather early) hour, the street was buzzing with people. Mostly drunks but no less intimidating. It was the second time you visit this part of the town as your mother would forbid you to come here. “It’s a dangerous place,” she always said, “nothing to find there except for criminals and whores.” Observing the people around you, she might had a point.

 Growing up in one of the richest families of the town was a blessing and a curse at the same time. Nothing seemed to be missing from your life – dresses and jewelry, parties and royal receptions – everything was there in arm’s reach. You never had to work a day in your life and never went to bed on an empty stomach. Still, you were unhappy. You were born into this world with no purpose. All you had to do was look pretty, agree to a beneficial marriage and produce heirs. Your father didn’t allow you to be something else, something more. You never asked for much, knowing he’d deny your requests, except for learning how to fight and defend yourself. It was a simple desire but you hoped it would give you something. What, you weren’t sure. A purpose maybe? Indubitably, he refused you.

 A sense of guilt and shame rushed through you. It happened every time as you were aware that the problems were nothing more than luxurary at best. After all, what gave you, a privileged girl with no troubles, the right to complain when there were people starving and dying?

 “Well, ‘ello there, aren’t you a pretty one.”

 You shrieked at the slurring words coming from your left. A man, smelling of beer and piss, reeled towards you. A disgusted look on your face, you took a step back.

 “What’s that face, pretty one? Don’t cha think I’m pretty too?”

 “Fuck off!”

 A second voice made you turn around in surprise. Geralt of Rivia was standing in the doorway of the tavern, glaring at the drunk. Even in his current state of mind, the man sensed that Geralt wasn’t someone he wanted to bother, so he spit out undefinable curses and stumbled away.

 “Thank you,” you said to the Witcher. He looked different this morning. Rested and bathed, you figured and realized his attractiveness for the first time since you met him. Last night you were more focused on convincing him to train you. Tall, broad, with his glooming golden eyes and white hair that fell loosely on his shoulders – only a blind person could deny his good looks.

 Geralt eyed you up and down. “Now why would you wear that?”

 You furrowed your brows in confusion and looked down at your blue dress and fine cloak that hugged your figure. “What?”

 “You want to learn how to fight, am I wrong?”

 “No, you’re not.”

 “And you’re gonna do that in a dress?”

 “I’ve seen women fight in dresses.”

 “But not in fucking ball gowns.”

 “This is not a ball gown!” You protested.

 He rolled his eyes and started walking. “Whatever, come on. We have a long day ahead.”

 You followed, struggling to keep up with him. He didn’t seem to care all that much. “Why do you sleep here?” You pointed back to the run-down pension.

 “What do you mean?”

 “With the money I’m paying, you can afford better … places.”

 “I like it here.”

 “You like sleeping around these creatures?”

 Geralt didn’t answer instead he shot you a glance that made your cheeks flush in embarrassment. You knew exactly what he thought in this moment – he probably regretted taking the job and dreaded the fact that he was stuck with a spoilt girl like you for the next days. You didn’t blame him.

 You couldn’t have known on this day but you were wrong. Geralt didn’t have any regrets – not yet however. He saw you as spoilt, yes. He also recognized your will to change – or else you wouldn’t have come to him in the first place.

 ***

 One hour later and Geralt finally stopped in his tracks. You were more than thankful as your feet already started to hurt. The two of you had left the town far behind and had now reached a small clearing in the woods.

 With a sigh you sat down and leaned against a tree. Geralt kept his gaze on the ground and walked around the clearing, looking for something.

 You watched him. There was certainly something about that Witcher with his tall figure, white-hair and brooding looks. Only a blind woman would deny that. For a brief moment, you wondered if he had a companion or a consort, so to speak. What kind of woman did he desire? You had heard rumors about a mage he had taken as his lover. So probably powerful woman, fighters, he didn’t need to worry about protecting.

 “Here,” a stick landing in front of you catapulted you back into reality.

 You looked at the stick and back at Geralt. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

 “Fight,” only then you noticed a second branch, resting in his hand.

 “With a stick?”

 “Yes.”

 You grabbed it and got up in the same movement. “I’m not a child, I won’t play with sticks,” putting some force behind your words, you looked at him intensely.

 His face didn’t falter. “What do you suggest instead?”

 “A sword. I want to learn how to fight with a sword.”

 “You’re not ready.”

 “We only have two weeks though, we need to speed up this whole process,” you argued.

 “You’re not ready.” He repeated sternly.

 You kept staring at him, realizing that you wouldn’t win this argument. A sigh left your lips. “Fine.”

 A small smile appeared on his face. “Great. Let’s get started.”

 *** The first training was an absolute disaster. You were convinced that you spent the most time on the ground, face-down in the mud – the rest of the time you got your ass kicked. The exhaustion you felt when you were back in the tavern with torn clothes and leaves in your hair came close to nothing you ever experienced in your life.

 Geralt sat next to you, happily eating his piece of chicken, looking like he had just returned home from a lazy and relaxed day out of town.

 “You should eat something,” he said in between bites.

 You looked down at your plate where the food remained untouched. “I’m not hungry.”

 “Yes, you are.”

 As if your stomach wanted to agree, a low growl was heard.

 Geralt smirked but didn’t comment.

 “Fine,” you admitted. “I’m starving.”

 “But?”

 “Everything hurts.” It was true, you felt too exhausted to take one bite out of the meat.

 He shrugged. “Of course it does. You’ll get better though.”

 “I don’t think so,” you sighed. “Did you see me today?!”

 “I’ll tell you what,” Geralt said with a chuckle. “I promise that you’ll be able to fight and win against Jaskier by the end of this.”

 “Is he a good fighter?” You asked with narrowed eyes.

 “He’s not too bad.”

 “What if I lose against him?”

 “You’ll get your coin back.”

 “Deal.” You nodded in contently. Then you added after a brief moment: “Wait, who’s Jaskier?”

 “He’s traveling with me,” Geralt simply answered and took a sip from his beer mug. “You’ll meet him tomorrow. He knows people from this town.”

 Jaskier. You were curious about the kind of person a Witcher spent his time with when he wasn’t away, hunting beasts. Was he as calm and collected as Geralt? Always so serious?

 Another growl came from your stomach and you looked back at the plate. Well, maybe not eating at all would be a worse decision. After all, there were nine more days filled with exhaustion ahead of you. Slowly, you reached down to grab one of the chicken legs and bit into it.

 Geralt watched you carefully and a very small part of him began to like the idea of having to spend more dinners with you in the next days. Of course, he’d never admit it. Not even to himself.

***

My Masterlist

My Tag List: @just-antiyou​ , @sarah-midnight​ , @aspiring-ginger​ , @seb-owns-these-tatas​

Message me if you want to be added to my tag list <3

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 9, 2019 // the velvet masque

this ep is sept 9 bc victoria bursts in the next day bc of the coins and thats the day they do the seancé which is the night of sept 10 (which they keep referencing at the asylum and w bashiir)

completely unwarranted this is my lil update for all who didnt know, dead lucy and alive lucy are played by 2 different people k thx bi 💙🙏🏻

-"way to be literal lucy" SHE IS BEING LITERAL THO LMFAOOOO

-"what do you do when the dead stop talking to you?" maybe shes busy bitch. shes got tons of hauntings scheduled and people attempting to seancé her and shit. u cant hog her all the time just cause she's ur mom

-"its a first date bess not a parliamentary hearing" this and the whole date scene is so cringe 😂

-"what do we know about the velvet masque" nancy uses the crew's collective pool of knowledge available/working together but still unwilling to trust others; nancy wants to get answers at any cost but answers don't mean friends. *maybe sometimes she needs the endorsement of others to move forward in certain times (ie "use me" to lisbeth after owens death)? idk feel free to debate that w me but nancy really takes advantage of having everyone help her for someone who says they work alone

-"i've been following him around"/"i've been studying every word looking for clues" nick is terrible at mysteries/snooping and has to go to nancy for help which nancy knows --> "we're here to steal the coins"/"you're gonna get kicked out" like when he talks about stalking owen shes laughing at him so much lmaooo but nancy is NOT book smart, she is street smart, and highly logical - she predicts human behavior scientifically, not socially

-"good cheekbones" owen lmfaoooooo

-so in the first ep nancy breaks into ryans house and this ep ryan breaks into hers right back 😂

-"take me to the velvet masque" so now ryan takes lucy and nancy, but he hesitates for nancy after what happened to lucy --> trying to stop her going in and then lucy appearing trying to warn nancy about ryan/the "bad thing" (celia) but lucy still kinda blames ryan for that one

-HOW does bess manage to make a white t-shirt and jeans look sooooooo good

-"so go help that person!" GEORGE lmfaooo

-"are we good?" ohhhh nancy. read the room sweetie. (she cant i know she cant)

-wonder if this poor guy w the chocolates sees nick and george across from him and thinks of himself and victoria lmaoooo

-"he must not know the whole story" ryan is always kept in the dark about everything, all the time which is ironic af bc nancy is always after knowledge at any price

-interesting that ryan only really "sees" lucy fully (at first) in nancys house

-ryan's foreshadowing: "if anything happens to you, you're not my responsibility" / "everett should have thought of that before he kicked me out of the family" / "your father is trying to teach you a lesson" by everett rejecting lucy and therefore nancy, ryan's little family was kicked out 20 years ago and ryan now completes the circle (this goes w his "steering ship" comments from the dinner ep)

-so honestly, how are the crew standing out so badly at this event?? its fucking dark and most people wear masks. is it that bloodhound rich nose that can smell a fake chanel a mile away? curious.

-owen + nancy / shades of blue (destined to be melancholy)

-sooooo nancy and owen's age difference. owen was 5 in 1999 and nancy was born in 2000 soooo hes only 5ish years older than her. so 19 and 26. (for reference ryan was 17/18 in 1999 and is now 37/38, and tiffany was 28 as laura said, and george is equal to nancy.) 🤷🏼‍♀️i honestly kinda love owen/nancy fight me on it.

-"please tell me you're not here to steal the coins" foreshdowing s2 "i have been trying to warn you all day"

-lucy was a creative writing hoe, we would've vibed so hard tbh

-BESS your gay ass just tanked the mission 😂

-"Luce?" 🥺😔

-damn lucy can't decide if she likes him or hates him 😂

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: "i had this one good thing in my life and i ruined it" i think men genuinely feel like this a LOT. living in the past, bringing it w them to the present, thinking they only had it good way back when. something about never reclaiming former glory/kinda tox masc but a lot of emotion in it too. like goodness in the present is unattainable. i mean ryan is like 38 so that midlife crisis tho? 😕

-"...carson drew." ryan and nancy almost share their looks of despair as they realize that carson is involved / makes me think of s2 ending when nancy says ryan "could use a dad" or something

-"looks like i missed some things" as always nancy lmfaoooo like. "what we were looking for?" no sis. no honey. not at fucking all. 🤦🏼‍♀️

-either owen fell in love with nancy at first sight or he pounced on her real quick at that gala bc damn 👀

-bess and lisbeth are the cutest 😭💙🙈

and lastly

-"my heart belongs to a certain mechanic with very good cheekbones" honestly sis why would you say it like that?? that word choice and phrasing leaves me all off. like what a combination tease to owen and backhanded compliment to nick all in one

[bucksbisexual]

okay since im rewatching 2gether, might as well make my reaction public lol

tine trying to be a supportive boyfriend by asking wat if something is troublig and wat’s himbo self being like “nah fam im good” god i love this dumbass

also tine not knowing how to talk about his feelings is so relatable help

honestly i would’ve LOVED to see sarawat at least one (1) question

tine’s smile while wat drinks..... Sir I Am In Love With You

also his blush..... Sir I Am More In Love With You Than I Was Before

“is the lyric about smile or happiness?” “don’t cheat” wat saw through his bullshit right there KSJFHKS

i wonder what’s in those glasses because it doesn’t quite look like coke but it obviously isn’t beer,,,,

ohhhhh “a friend from high school” ... explains tine’s reaction we see in the teaser when he introduces pam as his highschool friend

also explains why tine thought sarawat made that video for her instead of him. wat is in his high school clothes and tine probably thought it was before he saw him (when in fact it was probably recorded the same day lmao sarawat hopeless romantic)

tine: one more game! [spins the coin and supposedly falls on heads] wat!

sarawat: no one can talk to me if i fall asleep

i’m trying not to look at bright’s jiggly butt why is ass so fat fOR

it doesnt add the points here if i dont write something else so intro time yeet

yknow what . we need more earn and more pear in these two last episodes . i need my wlw rep and i need it Now

“personal space is important even for couples” still cant believe man was the owner of their braincell in this scene

tine giving all of type’s info away to wat so wat can give it to man who tine knows will use to pester him until he becomes his boyfriend...... say it with me: tine mantype shipper

“how did you know?” “i prayed to god” literally the funniest part ever

manboss: im not going good luck wat: you’re so full of bullshit

GREEN <3

i will just say that pink is tine’s best colour. i need him in every soft pink thing u can find. it accentuates his skin colour so perfectly and we are Here for it honeyyyy

MIL SHUT THE FUCKUP

sarawat being a savage (rachet booty nasty) we stan

bro get over him oh my god he’s taken and happy with wat LEAVEEEEEE

and man pestering type begins Now ksjfh

i’m like 100000000% sure that the only thing in that whole backpack is a pencil and half of an eraser

im also sure type saw him buy the book since u literally can see him from where man and that girl are and

hold up the waiter looks like a guy from whyru,,,,,,,,,,

i need someone to write a fic about tine being an astronomy lover and wat falling in love with him because of the joy in his eyes when he talks about the stars and interesting facts about the universe and new discoveries of galaxies and other things that wat doesnt really care about but he listens to either way because he’s too in love to shut off his brain

okay back to the episode sorry i just really had to say this

wat really said “don’t take advantage of me when i’m sleeping” when they haven’t even kissed.......... no words, completely speechless

tine probably thought he was being real sneaky right there lmao boy he fell asleep 2 seconds ago

god green really appears for 2 seconds and yet he steals the show KSFJHKFJFS he really was about to beat the person in front of him’s ass for not walking faster im crying i love him

BITCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE THEM ALONE STOP TRYING TO BE A HOMEWRECKER

wat looks so offended by his offer it’s so funny jhfksjhgj still MIL GET THE FUCK OUT

them running around is so funny when u know they had to do that like 20 times and were tired as fuck KSJFHKSHFS

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER i love u

omg the bracelet truly isnt there at the start of the scene :-(

“nuisance tree” lemme just cry a bit

the music stopping here......... they truly played with our feelings there huh

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 2

the reactions are so kdrama outro i cant breathe KJHFJSFKJS

GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTT

“well, you left him” IM GOING TO STEP ON YOU

bracelet where r u :-(

“it was here a second ago” it wasn’t im an obsessed bitch and noticed just as the scene there started

he looks so worried:-( tine baby

“i can make you a new one” “but i want the old one” why do i feel like that has more than one meaning,,,

half of the times wat touches tine’s head his hands are dirty as fuck lmaoooooo

is- is someone wearing a marihuana dress??????

manbosss again and he has a book

type is the teepakorn brother that can lie and will lie meanwhile tine can’t lie for a living

I LOVE THIS GUY GIVE ME HIS SELF CONFIDENCE

dim really made up a whole spirit just for wat to be with tine lmao i cant breathe (unless the pine tree spirit is an actual thing and he just used it for this specific thing lmao)

“that senior is me” “and who did you go with?” “that was a long time ago” “it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me” “green, drop it!” i love them KSFJHFSJHF

green and wats faces i cant bREATHE these are the faces of people who know this is all fake

BRO WAT WASNT EVEN THAT SLICK WITH THE PAPER IN HIS HAND SJKHSFHHKFS

my guess is that he had two papers that were the same number just incase they didnt get the same number but then somehow mf MIL had to come in and ruin it

i dont know who chose to make bright wear this much brown but it honestly fits him so well

coffee for his soon to be boyfie

man: loving u is kind of bothering? type: o_o man

he’s still reading the book kjshfsf WAIT HES SO CUTE

“you gotta miss me if i don’t show up one day” “just back off. i’m leaving. do not follow me. give me some time to miss you” okay tsundere ass bitch

type’s so rich he’d rather spend money on getting his tire fixed than get it fixed by man for free i hate rich people

he’s also too rich to care to check if his doors were locked i-

“for me?” “do you see anyone else?” bitch ass tsundere

type: smiles, realises he just did that, eyes cutely go o_o

type looks so cute in that scene for no reason im going to eat ur cheeks if u dont stop being a cutie

aaaaaand of course theyre not paired up

dude of course he is youre creepy and also trying to break his relationship apart only because u dont have the decency to see that you dont have a place in his heart whatsoever

dim honey........ jskhsjf

tine’s hair....... PLEASE I NEED TO TOUCH IT IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY

“the spirit doesnt like it when you pray with your eyes opened” did literally no one notice how nonsense that was? KSFJHSJ

GREEN U SCARED THE BABY WHY WOULD U DRESS LIKE THAT

he looks so cute im gonna cry like actually cry

weak ass blankets they gave them i swear

if u cuddled then u wouldnt have been cold but noooooo ur big puppy boyfriend has trust issues

baby:-((((((((((( i will cover u with a blanket and give u lots of kithes and hugs

tine having his phone die at an important moment and also having no sense of direction whatsoever is so relatable lmaooooo

thank god for the rain because otherwise sarawat wouldnt have ran the way tine actually went lmao i wouldve beaten dims ass if mil was the one who found him

this scene hurts so much:-(( his throwing the grass like that in complete defeat??????? the flashback to him saying that bad things seem to happen to them lately makes my heart break

the soft touches:-((((( please im gonna Cry

dnotsaysorrydontsaysorrydonsaysorrydontsayHE SAID SORRY FFS

baby :’((((((

“i prayed for something but i havent redeemed that prayer yet” “what did you ask for?” “it’s if i got to see you again, i would show you the video i made. it’s the song your smile you are so curious about” BITCHHHHHHHHH

HES GONNA SHOW ITTTTTT YES I LOVE HOPELESS ROMANTIC HIGHSCHOOLER SARAWAT

he’s all shy i cant breathe he cant even look at the screen skjfhksh

oh so it was on the same day sksjhj forgot about that

I CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

tine is all blushy im gonna sob i love these two

im trying not to scream and tines reaction to wat telling him he went to every scrubb concert just to look for him

ITS NOT GONNA GET STUCK ON THE VIDEO BABY HE WILL LIKE U BACK IN A YEAR!!!!!!

“i like you” “yeah. i know. i like you too” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LITERALLY REWATCHINNG BUT I STILL JUST SCREECHED AT THAT I LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

their smiles after he said it tho.......... my heart hURTS

wat: the wish only drew us to cross paths again. us being together is because of something else, tine: what then? wat: shout out to my homies for being there for me since day one i love u bros

THE FLASHBACK AAAAAAAA I FOUND HIM YES U DID BABYYYYYY

boss’s whistle after he tells them that he only said he would kiss him until he dropped lmaoooooo

“his name is tine. [with the softest voice ever] what a cute name”

manboss looking at each other like this bitch is so gone for this random dude but we’re gonna support him because we’re the only friends he has

wat was probably wishing the pool had water in it so he could throw both of them into it at that moment KJSFHJSFHF

“he’s the one i like” “shiiiiiit” same dim, same

fan dee nAAAAAA

his ass was so gone he was gonna make his ig username lovetine i literally cant believe him

boss having the braincell in this scene i love it

“but earn has a boyfriend” LIES. SO MANY LIES. ITS A GIRL. SHES A WHOLE LESBIAN.

boss once again being the owner of the braincell...... im starting to think he owns it half of the time

“you get it now? us being together is not a coincidence. it’s because of us” WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 3

wait,,,,, tine’s little head tilt,,,,,,, SIR I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU

the stars!!!!!!!!! theyre there!!!!!!

“i think nothing bad is going to happen anymore” honey you got a big storm coming

it ended :’(((((( my beautiful boys i love this episode and drama so much i swear

lets watch the next episode teaser

i dont think tine is gonna lsiten to pam saying that but if he does,,, baby pls dont overthink okay he loves u and wont leave u for anyone in the world

phukong dont come back to him he knows that u like him and will play with ur feelings

type is gonna have to choose between im guessing either a boy interested in him from work or man and im gonna vote for him going with man lets hope i win

WHAT IS WRNOG WITH U BRO GET OUT HES HIS BOYFRIEND OF COURSE HES GOING TO CARE AND WORRY YOURE JSUT A CREEP FOLLOWING HIM AROUND HOPING THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ENDS SO U CAN SNEAK IN UGH

“is pam your first love?” WHY DID U END THE TEASER THERE AAAAAAA BITCH

im so glad that the episode comes out today because i Need to know more

okay thats it if anyone read all of this first of all sorry kjshkfj and second of all thank u ,, u didnt have to but u did and ily for that okay bye

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 10 notes

oh wow yeah the layout of these will just forever be trash now bc it’s a lot of formatting work like a LOT sorry

• Presentation prep

○ Jacob is doing a tier list of every smash character in the world ever

• Apparently picchu was really busted

○ Idk who picchu is tho

○ Peechoo

○ I think it's picchu bc I think I've seen that before

• Are waterbenders ghostbusters

• R we starting

A few my little pony quizzes real quick

• When we last left off

• We were using medallions or whatever to search for stuff

• Broke into the city of the dead

• Were ambushed but interrogated one of them after killing the others

• Adam convinced that one that we chucked the stone

• We let him live but adam took his pants

• Not midnight but it's raining a lot

What are we doing

• As we leave the graveyard adam is getting chains out of george bush and putting it back on the gate

• Nvm we're just gonna follow naya

• Put chains back on 

• Squelching through mud

• Make way back w little trouble

○ We were able to set up the stuff?

○ Looks like some ppl r patrolling

○ Still hard to see bc rainy so we haven't been noticed

• Keep following naya

• Make way out safely

• Naya varies the pace every now and then

• Rain dies off later in the night

• Start approaching poorer area of the trade ward; fewer shops and businesses, more poorer housing

• Naya looks like she's leading us towards a windmill in the distance

• Just a towering windmill

• Not much wind so not spinning

• Cel makes perception check at disadvantage, can't see anything

• Naya runs up and stops in front of the windmill then vanishes

○ The second time we used naya's scry power? Maybe? Nvm?

• Does ur wifi ever poop itself

○ Nice

○ Ok I'll just keep sitting here ig

• Ok we're in a dark room and can't hear any sounds of a bloodbath

• There's a door

• Adam puts his ear to see if he can see anything, perception check

○ 8

• Door is solid wood

• Adam opens ground floor door

○ There r two doors

§ One on the side and one on the top

§ Ok we're in the windmill

• Cel pulls out lantern

• Adam opens door and sees a lot of people who look like they're sleeping on the floor

○ 5ish

○ Look like squatters

• Adam rolls 22 perception to see if he recognizes anyone, no one looks familiar

• Sneak by them ? Try to ?

• Adam can see another door that goes further in

• Adam snaps tiny flame on finger and rest of us follow the flame

• We walk over to next door

• Not locked

• Quietly go through

• Asyna is going to stay in the first room w ppl to watch them

○ In case they wake up / as guard

○ "hehe . Shillelagh"

○ "whack 'em with your 'forget-me' stick"

• Proposition for asyna to pretend she's sleeping

• Enter next room, just as dark as other

○ A few doors leading to left and right in front of us

○ In distance can see more people sleeping but only two

○ Looks empty

○ Lights lantern

• Adam pokes head through closest door

○ There's just more people

○ Strategy to burn entire building will not work

○ Cel can't tell if anyone looks like they're armed

• Do I want banana bread

• Going to peek into all the rooms

• Every room marked w2 has ppl sleeping

• What's happening in w3

• "so I look outside bc I heard somebody blasting despacito… there's a pickup truck towing a boat and there's a bunch of teenagers on it raving" - dom, 2020

• W3 is a wc a water closet as in a bathroom

• W4 is a closet w some cleaning stuff and grains

• Some ppl have woken up but they don't bother to like really watch us suspiciously

• Upstairs we go

• Three doors leading out of the room but also a large millstone in the center of the room

• Under debris, soaking wet from a hole in the ceiling

• Adam tries to move debris

• Cel rolls 15 perception, can't hear anything

○ Adam rolls nat1 and the stone resists adam's efforts

○ Technically a 0

• What's behind door w6

○ Caved in sections

○ Floor littered w bird droppings

○ Adam investigates "that's a 12 for eggs dominic"

○ There are eggs but they are fertilized eggs

○ Adam has to b careful

§ Gently picks up pigeon egg

§ "I have a plan if combat starts"

§ Adam is now carrying a pigeon egg

• What's in w8?

○ W7 first

○ W7 is locked

○ Adam tries the key; theo makes perception check first

§ Nat1 so can't hear anything

§ Adam tries the key

□ "I'm gonna stick that key into the lockhole"

□ It doesn't fit

§ 14, can't unlock

§ Aerana tries, 22

§ Lock clicks open

§ Cel peers inside

□ There's an open window, the room is cold

□ There's a door leading into a separate room

□ Armoire

□ Also two human males holding shovels

□ "congratulations - you're free" - adam

□ "what the hell r u on about"

□ "we unlocked your door that was previously locked presumably from the outside but now the door's open and you can walk through it"

□ "we locked it on purpose"

□ "none of ur business how we do ours what do you want"

□ "why did you lock yourself in here"

□ "bc this is our apartment"

□ Smth abt a rock

□ A tiny boulder ?

□ Rolls 20 for insight

□ Guy had a flash of recognition but he doesn't have it

® But what r they wearing

® Indiscrete, utilitarian clothes

® "can we search your room or will you tell us all you know"

® "is that a thweat"

® "a thweat? O thorry sorry a threat"

® Adam rolls for intimidation

◊ 9

□ "we could just lasso them"

□ "how much health do they have combined"

□ "ok so you guys aren't gonna tell us anything"

□ As adam turns around to leave he casts sleep

® 5d8 

◊ "is their combined health equal or less than 22"

◊ "together they had 8"

□ Asyna moseys on upstairs

• I try so hard

○ And then things like this happen to me

○ It's fine, I say, albeit wholly unconvinced

○ Wow ok it really b like this

• Adam makes investigation check for anything in the bed

○ 18

○ There's a cut in the side of the bed w a bag of coins

○ "we shouldn't rob these people"

○ Apparently it's not a lot so we leave it

• Going to check other room

○ W8

§ Try to open door but immediately hit smth blocking it

§ Aerana and cel try opening the door

□ 14 strength check; doesn't budge

□ Peeking inside can make out a lot of heavy stones

□ 3 in gap

□ "so we can't fit through it . But a much smaller animal could probably fit through it"

○ Would b asyna's second wildshape

§ Investigate room wd40 but it's w4b

○ Asyna and cel r gonna go to w4b

○ Adam sticks arm through crack

§ Adam gets sense roof has collapsed

§ Feels beam of wood blocking door

○ Dom thinks we're too weak to hammer the door

○ Cel goes first

§ Dexterity save

□ 19

□ 2 damage; steps inside side closet and floor collapses

□ Falls down into w4a on first floor

□ Picks self up and goes back upstairs

○ Gonna try n shimmy over, 10 for acrobatics

§ Starts making way over then falls; dex save 11

§ 2 damage again

§ "uh hearing cel fall from the second floor twice , I come out"

□ Cel is gonna try and jump to w6

□ Adam gets crowbar from cel

§ Adam uses mage hand to open the door

□ Cel can just see a bunch of pigeon nests in w6

□ Cel jumps into w6

□ More pigeons

® Investigates; 20

◊ Finds the odd shiny thing a crow might've brought in; for the most part looks like a bird's dwelling

◊ Some fish bones in one of the nests

◊ Nature check, 5; can't tell what kind of nest

◊ They look like pigeon eggs tho

◊ Whisper yells to asyna "pet pigeon ?!"

◊ "are you gonna throw it?"

◊ "let me just tell you guys right now . You have more than one chance"

◊ Both have to make dexterity checks

◊ There are at least 5 eggs

◊ Cel rolls 22, asyna rolls 16

◊ The egg made it across successfully

◊ Cel just jumps back

○ Adam lightly pats down the two sleeping dudes

§ Some money, small utility knife

§ Gonna crowbar w8; strength check w advantage

§ Adam tries using the crowbar on the hinges, 8

§ Warhammer ? 15

□ 11 damage

□ "ok. Bonk"

□ "screws were invented in the first century so there WERE screws in the renaissance"

® Oil the door, adam tries to pop out the bolt with a dagger

® Two 4s

□ The people we cast sleep on are still asleep

○ Nat20 for athletics check to go onto the roo

§ You go to top of the windmill

§ Drop down into the room

□ Huge collapse of stones from the ceiling, beam of wood propped up against the door

□ Nat20

® Positive there is nothing in the room, just ceiling debris

○ "I'm gonna give their hands a little bondage"

§ "and then jerry seinfeld walks in like 'what's the deal with airplane food'"

§ Adam shakes the more serious-looking guy awake

§ Takes out key and asks if he's seen it

□ Wakes up and says "wot"

□ Other guy wakes up and is flailing

□ Cel rolls athletics check to tie him up

® 14, is able to tie him up

□ Looks at it and says it's his

□ "what's it for?"

□ "none of your business"

□ "you guys have a hobby of graverobbing?"

□ Adam says he's with the citywatch

® Deception check at disadvantage

® 9

® "yeah we're from the watch . Watch your back"

□ "why were u in the mausoleum"

® Jacob makes intimidation check w advantage

◊ 16, more serious one says "well u know we don't normally do that sort of thing"

◊ "we was paid to do it"

◊ "by whom"

◊ Lorsa morclav

} Losser mirklav paid them

– Asdjdmaf nice

® "what's the key for"

® "it's private"

® "can you make it public? For money ?"

® "45" adam puts knife closer to throat "I'm guessing that's a no" "I'm guessing that's a less please"

◊ Asks if we've played the dnd equivalent of poker

} Adam says he wants names first

} Younger one is urlaster

} Older one is volkarr

□ Threaten to bludgeon toes

® "how connected r u to ur toes"

® "rather intimately"

§ Says he buried his treasure

□ 10 to hit, slams ground

® Adam asks to see where loser mirklav is

◊ Southern ward

◊ By a bunch of apartments

◊ Half elf guy - cellar street ?

◊ Lives in an apartment

◊ "wig shop"

◊ "a weed shop"

◊ "a wIG shop"

§ "did u guys steal anything else from the tomb"

□ "we was hired to steal bones"

□ "losser's a necromancer"

□ Did they pick up a stone ?

® Losser saw a really thicc rat

® Losser kills the rat but it just vanishes, leaving the stone

® Losser took the stone

◊ Insight check, 8; can't tell if he's telling the truth

} "u guys broke into the tomb of a noble family for a necromancer for how much gold"

} 10 gold

} "we're keeping the key"

} "is loser the type of person that stays up at night"

} "well he's a mostly nocturnal fella"

} "yeah he likes his beauty rest during the day"

} "he's a strange little fellow"

§ "how badly do you want this key back"

□ "that's my life savings I want it back"

□ "what does losser look like ?"

□ Halfling fellow w long gray ponytail, he's wrinkly and smelly

® Is it bad that every time I hear the word necromancer I think necrophilia not necromancy

® "yeah I'm licking your life savings right now buddy"

◊ Adam fake swallows

} Performance check, 8

} "you're the worst actor I've ever seen"

} Actually swallows it

} "oh fuck"

} Key is made out of rusty iron

} "alright . Bye"

◊ "do you want your key back within 1-2 business days"

} "why don't you just puke it out"

} "I don't want to"

} "you guys keep quiet, I'll return the key to you in 1-2 business days"

} "that's disgusting"

} "alright . Bye"

– We’re leaving them tied up 

– "wow we're being judged" - marguerite, 2020

– We take their shovel

– "say what was your name"

– "reginald"

– "deception"

w Rolls a 20 total

w "that's shilanda shilanda brilanda and tiffany"

w Nat1

® "it might come out less rusty than it was before"

◊ "hey dom when should I roll for that poison"

§ Cel takes knife, toss the shovels

□ Barricade door ?

○ Going back to mirt's to rest ?

§ Go back to mirt's

§ Fog has settled in over streets, early early morning

§ Make it back no problem

§ Past midnight

□ Rest with watches

□ During adam's watch reads book

® Investigation check, 20

® Details house growlund and their lineage

◊ It's a genealogical book

} A lot of the pages are blank bc it's continuously added to

} At some point it's described that some of the children were born with tails

– "I look at my tail . Then look back at the page"

– But then those tails were amputated

} Any inbreeding ?

– Investigation check, 13

– There was inbreeding

□ Cel keeps pigeon egg warm

§ Morning arrives, daytime mostly spent in fog until noon

□ 8 a.m.-ish

□ "do I have to uh use the bathroom dominic"

□ "is there any key"

□ "oh I thought you were talking about real life"

® "does the key come out"

® "oh my god no it does not"

® "this is a great disaster"

◊ "it was a large key"

◊ "then how did I swallow it?!"

◊ "oh god whatever"

◊ Key was small enough for adam to swallow without choking

} I didn't say this but I thought it: what if he had practice tho

• Renaer is up

○ Cel grabs asyna and adam to go ask renaer to watch their pigeon egg babies

○ He is incredibly confused but he affirms he won't eat them

○ "ey what's poppin mirt"

○ "how's it going"

○ "groot is chunky" - aerana?

○ "groot is the best kind of chunky" - cel

○ "mirt, I'll buy you a wig" - adam

○ "make it purple"

§ Purple like …. : - D ahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahaAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA

• We bust our way down to cellar street

○ Southern ward is the one where a lot of ppl move to from foreign lands

§ Eclectic

§ We find a small shop w some wigs in the front

○ There's a young half-elf woman running front desk

○ Headstands w wigs in the front, some r purple

○ Adam walks up to the half-elf woman asking for a special order w loser

○ "sorry we don't have anyone by that name"

○ "losser?"

○ Adam wants a private meeting to place an order

§ Insight

□ 16, she looks surprised n confused

○ There was not an apartment above the store

§ This corner is mostly businesses

□ Nat20 wisdom saving throw

® She is uncharmed

○ Has gray hair, smells like an excessive amount of lavender, 

§ Says his name is val

□ Mirklav backwards

○ "is your boss here right now"

○ Lets himself in sometimes to say hi and to check in like once a month but he has a key

§ "how do you know him"

§ "uh do u remember how I said I was throwing a bar mitzvah ? He's invited"

□ 15 deception, works

□ She goes to the back

○ Nothing suspicious looking in the shop aside from the normal weirdness you'd expect from a wig shop bc it's just head mannequins

○ An elf walks in

§ "hey . Yo"

§ He nods

§ Doesn't necessarily look like he needs a wig

§ Wearing a tricorner hat like gwash

□ Makes idle conversation

□ "interesting things happening in the city, eh?"

® Heard abt the house that got blown up

® "oo . What's the juice ? What's the juicy gossip my guy"

® They say some kind of explosion

® Says he's more into politics

◊ "of course he is"

® "well I concern myself w the affairs of princes and princesses"

◊ Talks abt making deliveries

® "well many of them r comfortable . Of late I was able to make a v special acquaintance who essentially helped me w smth I needed doing"

◊ "I'm adam nice to meet you . Is it impossible to explain or "

◊ What's this guy's name tho

◊ Says he's good at making ppl happy or sad ???

◊ "you're like a performer"

◊ "do smth for us"

} He lost his silver handkerchief

– Can turn silver into gold, flicks it

– Admits puppetry is not his particular area of expertise

w Name is Jamboreal

w Nat20 insight check

w Looks different but it's the other guy

w Oh it's the guy the disguise guy your handkerchief bruh you really forgot about your own doings n stuff

w AHAHAHHA I SEE IT NOW OOPS wow I was really off

• Clerk lady comes back in

○ Brings back note of smth

§ We'll just sneak back later at night ig

§ Adam gives her a gold and says he'll take her purplest wig

□ Brings out a fluffy purple toupee

○ Wig shop closes around dusk

○ "do you want this wrapped"

○ "do you want to come to my bar mitzvah ? I'm turning 14"

○ Jamboreal is haggling a price down

§ Concept: take asyna to the zoo

□ Adam runs intelligence check for a 

□ Uh are we going to the zoo ? We're going to the zoo

□ There's a bunch of animals

Pause; next time we’re going to the zoo

[virmillion]

//ignore me

hey lab. i see ur not being productive. that’s really cool and groovy of u. here’s a post for u once u stop being unproductive

ok so they’re at the tavern yeah? so have them getting their food and pascal scarfing it down (maybe he steals a pickle off sixer’s plate idk) and make sure u touch on tanra Not Being Able To Eat lmao

but remember how there’s a yeehaw party time situation happening outside? have pascal notice it’s gotten kinda quiet, so he mentions it, and isaac is like ‘yeah that’s weird, what were they even celebrating in the first place’ and he calls over the waiter who explains that they were celebrating the Real Adventurers being gone bc everyone assumed they’d died on their mission/given up and decided to leave well enough alone (’well enough’ being the town under bba influence ofc), and isaac is like ‘ok but why did they get quiet tho’ and bartender is like ‘welp. uh. wild guess here, but probably-’

BAM door swings open and in stomps a group of Real Adventurers, all battle-scarred and torn up and nursing wounds and yeehawhatever, and they shove together a few of the bigger tables and sit at them and scowl and grumble, and in after them troops a bunch of the people who Were partying before, now harrassing them and yelling at them and all that fun stuff

bartender shoos them out bc Bad For Business/If You Aren’t Gonna Order Something, Get Out, and definitely not bc xe cares about the Real Adventurer’s feelings (seriously xe could not care less, xe just wants to get paid), takes the Real Adventurer Squad’s order, and comes back over to the Disaster Squad’s table, and sixer is like ‘dude wtf,’ and xe goes ‘why should i tell you,’ and pascal fumbles some of his coins from earlier in the book (like. page two) and holds them out, and xe explains who the Real Adventurers are and what they were trying to do, bam you can now transition into isaac interrogating the Real Adventurers and chosen one-ing himself

[roachliquid]

OK, this is gonna be a hot take, so hear me out.

(Also, this is Homestuck, so if you’re not into that or don’t want spoilers, you’re gonna want to skip this one.)

I’ve noticed that bladekindeyewear’s model of classpect arrangement seems to be pretty much universally accepted (or at least, accepted enough to be given considerable credence on the Homestuck wiki), which makes a lot of sense.  It’s tight, it’s well thought-out, and it actually answers more questions than it raises, for the most part.  Which is why I’m bringing it up - I’m actually operating on the assumption that most of his conclusions, including the majority of class pairings and inversion theory, are correct.

But (and this is a pretty big but, so get comfy) it’s missing out on a key clue to the puzzle, specifically: Karkat.

Karkat is effectively the troll sessions’ counterpart to John.  He’s crabby where John is calm, cynical while John is almost brainmeltingly openminded, obsessed with romantic fulfillment whereas John is ambiguously asexual, etc.  He’s even got the counterpart aspect to John’s - Blood vs. Breath.

So that got me thinking... why would he have the aspect counterpart, but not class?

I want to clarify here that I don’t think Karkat is an inverted John.  Knight doesn’t invert to Heir no matter what system you’re using.  An inverted John, I believe, would actually be a worse person than Karkat.

(Karkat’s not a great person, but there’s a reason his nickname is Nubs McShouty, and not, IDK, Prongs McStabby.  As far as trolls go he’s practically a cinnamon roll.  Anyway.)

So, rather than having the inversion of John’s class, I’m proposing that Karkat simply has the counterpart.  That Heir and Knight are a pair.  And I’m going to explain myself.

So, the first thing to address is one of the popular justifications for pairing up Knight and Page - that they have thematically complementary names.  This isn’t the worst reason to put them together, particularly since the counterpart pairing - Thief and Rogue - have a similar rhythm going on - but I am going to go out on a limb and say that’s not enough justification.  You also have to argue that they’re “two sides of the same coin”, and when you look at them, they’re really not.

BKEW argues that Knight and Page are both “exploiters”, characterized by a lack of their class and a need to carefully utilize what they do have to produce a greater result than it ostensibly would have been capable of.  And BKEW, I have to apologize in advance, because I love your work, but:

This is stupid.

Look at the classes in Homestuck.  One thing you might notice about them is that their names TYPICALLY correlate in a pretty straightforward manner to what they’re about.  Witch is a powerful manipulator, Thief steals, etc.  Prince, Bard, and Lord are the only real exceptions here, and that’s because they operate on a separate level of internal Hussie logic that seems to really hate royalty (and understands the unmitigated chaos that invariably happens when you bring a bard into the room).  So based on how other classes work, the correct role for a Knight should be a protector, not an exploiter.  And I’d like to point out that “protect” as a core concept pairs very well with the “steal” concept behind Thief and Rogue.  Better than “exploit”, even.

Furthermore, THIS IS NOT EVEN HOW PAGE WORKS.  Page is characterized by a lack of something that they will later have in abundance, provided they can work through their personal issues.  They don’t have to scrimp and save their aspect - they just have to earn it, and then they’re golden.  Jake English, legendary Page of Hope, is the ur-example here - at his full power level, he is capable of a hopesplosion on par with what Jade demonstrated when she first rose to god tier.  And while the first demonstration of this power was artificially induced and arguably not healthy, it’s confirmed at multiple points that this is also the power level he would eventually reach by properly completing his personal journey.  (Cal’s puppet theatre is the obvious citation here, but there’s another conversation I don’t remember the details of wherein Jake and another character are talking about the event and he is told that he COULD get back to that level of functionality in a healthier way.)  Tavros is a lesser example - his personal journey ends with him getting over his reliance on Vriska for self-worth, recognizing that he is capable of exercising autonomy, and using it to recruit an entire goddamn army.  It’s not as flashy or all-encompassing as Jake’s hopesplosion, but as far as dead trolls go, it’s pretty fucking impressive.

Busting Page out of knight-pairing jail is only half the battle, of course.  With Knight’s counterpart slot open, this has the potential to throw the whole system into disarray - or half of it, anyway.  After all, we don’t REALLY know for certain that Mage and Sylph are a pair, what if one of them is actually paired up with Knight?  There are some interesting possibilities here.

But there’s also some information that will help us narrow those possibilities down.  For instance, we have information (mentioned in one of the posts I linked) that states that the two most passive classes prefer male players.  With that in mind, we know we can only pair Witch - the most active normal class, if we follow the trail of breadcrumbs Hussie left us - with Heir or Page.  And since this whole theory hinges on Heir being the counterpart to Knight, that leaves us with Page, and Maid & Sylph stay exactly where they are.

Page works well as a manipulator, IMO.  Jake’s example is pretty straightforward - he straight-up channels the element of Hope to get shit done.  Tavros, in a less literal way, employs his own freedom to great effect.  Again, it’s not flashy, but neither was Feferi’s negotiation with the Horrorterrors to produce the Dream Bubbles, but that was certainly an example of her manifesting her classpect, as it saved a bunch of dead characters from ultimate oblivion in the void.

Heir as a protector is a somewhat tougher sell, if only because the title doesn’t really indicate the kind of person who guards something - unless it’s a plucky young heir rising to power to protect his estate, IDK.  Role-wise, though, we DO see John doing just as much to safeguard his session and people as Dave does.  While Dave operates behind the scenes, setting up key events and harvesting important information from doomed timelines, John is keeping things together in the limelight - first by initiating the game, and later by performing the Scratch and the Retcon.  Hell, in some ways he feels like the active counterpart to Dave, which is making me wonder if it’s not Knight/Heir but Heir/Knight - but that’s probably a discussion for another time.

Anyway, that’s my dissection of S---bian mechanics.  I’m certainly not saying I’m objectively right - who knows what was going on in Hussie’s head when he designed any of this - but I do think there’s a good chance that Karkat was intended to be John’s counterpart in EVERY way, including his class.  I like this theory because it makes things just a little bit smoother on the character design stage, and also because pairing Knight with Page on the basis of names always felt cheap and awkward in comparison to how carefully planned out many of the other class pairings were.

[nochiquinn]

exandria unlimited: kymal: part one: 🐩

crown keepers minus their one brain cell let's goooo

IT IS BEGIN

oh no she cute

"we're at the same table, nerds!" it's going to be CHAOS

"he's been THROUGH IT"

Dwarven Nincompoop

aw, no more comfy matt

chinhands at this opening

cyrus, your dumbshit brother

where errebody go

I had to step away but I come back to gilmore plans

"a little smarter" "ehnnn"

"I said a LITTLE"

FRENS

purple!

aimee ur eyelashes

"chosen family" cries

I Love opal's new art

opal using her vestige to steal

"it's a lot of women yelling"

oh god she literally has a shoulder angel and shoulder devil except she already wasn't listening to the shoulder angel

I WAS JOKING ABOUT USING THE VESTIGE TO STEAL

I fucking love opal

I've had this headcanon of dariax trying to keep opal safe or at least not actively throwing herself into volcanos but I knew that was wishful thinking

"he's got the luck of the idiots"

drags dariax away from the table by the collar

"act natural" oh god

SHE

matt

I love her

oh someone has worked hospitality

"pure brewer's yeast"

"I'm leaving! I'm already done!"

"I like bread." jester?

"I eat it." fcg?

"you got a problem?" "yeah!" "you wanna take this outside?" "no!"

"remember when I said keep a low fuCKING PROFILE"

oh no dorian is the braincell

I Love Her

coin? coin in play? EXPLAIN

oh dislike

erica use the barbie voice USE THE BARBIE VOICE

erica this is extremely specific

"I'm not supposed to be out of my room"

this whole casino is gonna light the FUCK up

"I'm Detecting It"

that's actually extremely cool??

taking out her frustration on pickpockets

cat the rabbit

CABBIT

"did you just nope me"

dariax. DARIAX.

dorian

cackles loudly

glitchy circlet

opAL

"I'm so glad I called you guys"

you are not immune to pretty fire lady

nice save aabria

"it's canon"

oh. oh no.

"a grandma? wearing grandma clothes?"

oh NO

well well well if it isn't the consequences of their own actions

friendly reminder that opal is nineteen, MAYBE twenty years old

ah yes, the Aladdin Gambit

ngl when they said bromance was I was expecting some hitachiin shit

I can't see matt's face but his forehead just went on a journey

oh now he's just dead

her WHAT

Morrighan please explain me your deal

okay which one of them heard "we need one million dollars" and suggested gamblnever mind it was opal

opal

I accept this retcon

why did the subs just say MATT [JENGA]

Traditional Rogue Attire

Functional Feathers

dariax

"you'd never expect a poodle from a bunny"

"you're on thin ice" "why?!" "because it's funny"

it's because you're you, cyrus

no direct victims

......is dariax still being tracked

HEIST DADDY

"hack down the door" this is hilarious bc I've been playing persona 5 strikers

....akechi, yusuke, and futaba playing dungeons and dragons

(akechi, yusuke, futaba, symmetra, and she-ra)

"I don't like that we have a problem" "I like it"

my dariax/dorian/orym headcanon is that dariax sees that dorian is upset at leaving orym behind and blames cyrus

(and he should)

Evil Check

matt: I'm canonically an idiot

where's the art, I need it

they got him a PRESENT

....they stole him a PRESENT

"is this a dead man's mandolin" "no! no - he's not - is he?" "eh."

I love them

oh nO THEY DON'T KNOW

I FORGOT THEY DON'T KNOW

...how did you roll 10 on 2d4

"he's good at what he's good at!!"

"DO YOU KNOW DENI$E?!" ".....we gotta go"

"no we don't! :D"

"I'm gonna pretend your dad is my dad and he told me that" "that would be very sad indeed for both of us"

BEADS OF LOVE

matt missed it and I'm sad

TED 2

I came back to dariax ghosting his ex

"I can do a kill"

MAP

DOOR

sex pestedal

this is the little camera drone from watch_dogs

orym where are you, we need the braincell

this doofus

"my first instinct is to protect dariax" gay

"are you gonna kill us?!" "maybe I will! maybe I wanna go home early tonight!"

if dorian dies I riot

what in the magnus archives

we found the poodle!

exCUSE ME

MAGICAL GIRL BLESS

"it all certainly looks like stone. then you notice....it LOOKS like stone"

CYRUS

this room is getting uncomfortably full

excuse

exCUSE

yeah yeah fuck yeah

I forgot how much I like aabria's spider queen voice

oh no ted 2

MATT

BOOGER METEOR

"are you DONE NOW"

I love him

matt still managing to give erica the hdywttd

he did a baton pass!!

giving mr. tumnus a concussion

what in the eluvian

"wait you found gin?"

STEAL THE SKYBAR

fuck an airship, FLYING BAR

Death Dwarf

"he stole words from our faces!"

"I don't wanna wait a week, can we just come back tomorrow?"

I'm using this precedent for every awful matthew mercer cliffhanger from now on

like coming home from your cool aunt's house "but AABRIA let us come back the next day!"

Don't Do A Murder, Do A Poodle

I'm waiting for a stinger

aw, no stinger :(