#[ but i notice how abysmal the amount of engagement i've been receiving has been lately ]
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There are honestly times where I would question if Vivian is even an interesting OC to interact with, because while she is an eccentric girl, she’s also very much a character more so geared towards slice-of-life interactions, and due to this being the case, I manly prefer writing her in her modern verse.
Of course, I do happen to have other verses for her, but people oftentimes don’t really request them ( /stares at the one time a DND multi followed me but didn’t even request her Granblue Fantasy verse ), so by natural default, I end up using my modern verse anyways... regardless, I get the sense that because she’s such a normal human being, people aren’t as drawn to her as they are to other muses? Because with her, there’s no conflict, action, or drama that might happen with supernatural or non-human muses, and if there does happen to be conflict or drama, it would be more so the realistic kind revolving around her hypersexuality or how she might be at odds with someone as an autistic individual with rejection sensitivity.
To top it all off, Vivian is also kind, so she won’t be mean to other muses without an actual good reason... so whenever I see memes with confrontational/argumentative prompts, I inwardly sweat, due to the fact she is mostly a very agreeable person who would rather chat with someone over coffee than intentionally cause conflict, meaning if a muse has yet to make her mad, she won’t really do anything to provoke them.
Like, unless they happen to be a jerk or has a personality she deems boring, Vivian would more or less be nice (at least until they get pissed off by her sense of humor/blatant disdain towards ‘normies’)... and even then, I get the sense that maybe her kindness comes off as boring to other muns, which really puts a whole damper on my mood, because I don’t want to change Vivian to be more palatable for the RPC.
#vent tw#rant tw#negativity tw#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( OUT OF ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟.#[ ofc i acknowledge vivian wouldn't be EVERYONE'S cup of tea ]#[ and the fact people are slow might just have to do with the fact everyone is busier at this time of year ]#[ but i notice how abysmal the amount of engagement i've been receiving has been lately ]#[ that OFTENTIMES it feels like i'm screaming into the void whenever i talk about vivian ]#[ at the same time though i do acknowledge it could be due to the fact i rarely express interest in other peoples muses ]#[ but it's hard when you're autistic and the only thing you constantly have spoons for when you get back home from work ]#[ is to talk only about/focus only on your own oc ]#[ due to the fact it happens to be what you're MOST hyperfixated on ]#[ liKE... as much i would wanna interact with more peeps ]#[ the things i wanna write are very self-indulgent ]#[ and my ooc attachment to muses is really dependent on how much vivian actually interacts with them ]#[ SO I'M PARANOID OVER HOW I'M PROBABLY THAT (1) MUTUAL EVERYONE IS SECRETLY TIRED OF ]#[ BUT KEEPS AROUND ANYWAYS BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT HURT MY FEELINGS BY BREAKING MUTUALS WITH ME ]#[ and so i'm in that weird limbo of having super high muse for vivian but also feeling undervalued/invisible in the rpc ]#[ AS IF NOTHING I DO WOULD PROBABLY MATTER ]#[ tldr though?? writing a female oc is hard and it could be just my imagination ]#[ but everyday it feels like people are losing interest in vivian and i don't know how to rectify that ;; ]
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