#[ but i have a bunch of metas i wanna write up like her fear of water n also her n the subject of cooking n nature n stuff

[veilder]

whenever you have the energy/are in the mood to talk about it: what are some of your North60 headcanons? >:)

Yes, hello! I would be elated to talk about my favorite violence perpetrators! :D Okay, so, first off, I think I need to get into some of my headcanons about each character on their own first?

Sixty:

For Sixty, I waffle back and forth. He's a very versatile character depending on how you want to use him in a story. Sometimes I want to emphasize his connection to CyberLife, his role as an antagonist, his struggles with being revived/becoming deviant, etc. Sometimes I wanna skip over all the angst and use him for comic relief. Sometimes I wanna plug him in to some RK Bro headcanons and do something emotional with him. But, no matter how I use him, there are some things that tend to stay consistent.

A certain resentment towards Connor: Even at his most docile, I always imagine Sixty harbors some sort of negative association with his twin? After all, every bit of his very short existence was centered on stopping Connor, his entire self-worth hinged upon it, and he failed. The way he has like a genuine panic attack in the ending where Connor manages to wake the AP700s really drives this home for me. And, to a lesser extent, his desperation during the interrogation scene with Hank, too, where you find out he has Connor's memories. I tend to manifest this as a certain inferiority complex, though the severity is very flexible depending on what I'm writing. Sixty is fun in that he can waffle between being a genuine threat or just being a silly sibling nuisance, but it all stems from the same place imo.

A lingering attachment to CyberLife/Amanda: This is something I tend to gloss over in my lighter stories, but I still think it's applicable to him across the board. But the way I see it, even a deviant Sixty would have some sort of love-hate relationship with his creators, and especially with Amanda. After all, she would've been his handler, too, just like with Connor. She would've been the guiding force for him for the scant few hours he was alive and (again going back to his little freak-out scene), there is a definite fear to him that I posit stems from more than just the threat of being decommissioned. Imo, he seems not to want to disappoint CyberLife and Amanda, just the same as Connor earlier in the game. Amanda is used to great effect to manipulate them both, binding them to her and CyberLife through a sort of pseudo-parental bond that was meant to inspire loyalty. And unlike Connor (who I suspect also has some very complicated feelings towards Amanda, too), Sixty had not time to come to terms with them discarding him. So, while I think that Sixty would recognize that he was only being used as a tool by CyberLife and that he never mattered to them otherwise, that complicated sort of love-hate affection would persist. This tends to manifest as him being something of a mama's boy in fics where I portray Amanda in a better light but also as an extra sort of hurdle for him to get over when forming any sort of relationship with an authority figure. It's partly why I tend to write him as having a chip on his shoulder at all times, lol. XD

An affinity for knives/close combat: Now, this one is based much less in any concrete meta analysis and just more in that I think it's cool, lol. The whole "Sixty is the knife boi" idea started way back with a bunch of us on a Discord server and it just really stuck with me? But it fits his character in my mind. It matches up with the borderline deranged, manic persona I tend to write him with where he's not at all afraid to get his hands dirty. In fact, I like to write him as particularly liking a certain level of violence, using it as a sort of outlet for his darker impulses. Now, this can get into some truly deranged territory if he's actively being an antagonist. However, when it comes to protecting someone or something he cares for, it's more of like... him being willing and able to go to extremes others won't. He has far less moral qualms about harming humans or androids than the rest of his series, but he (usually, lol) has enough emotional awareness to keep that to an appropriate time and place. He's not a psychopath or someone who would, say, enjoy hurting innocents on a whim. But if there is a reason for his violence, well... He's really not afraid to let loose, lol. And in that same vein, I feel like friendly sparring, both physically and verbally, are also a sort of love language with him, lol. Almost a sign that he trusts the other person to be himself around them, y'know? (Although, sometimes he just enjoys being an annoyance and getting a rise out of people, too. XD)

North:

North is much more straighforward for me. Since she gets more actual time to develop as a character in the canon, there's a lot less guesswork I usually put into her. I won't do a full-on bullet point list for her since she's mostly the same as canon, but, at least post-canon, I tend to let her mellow out a bit more? Without the constant threat of being discovered and decommissioned, I feel like she would turn her energy towards preserving the android community Jericho has built. I almost always hc her as their Head of Security in the aftermath, letting her use her feisty personality for the protection of her people in a more controlled (and legal, lol) way. But I think just the lessened pressure on her and the rest of Jericho's leadership would finally give her a chance to, y'know... relax? I doubt she'd ever be fully off her guard, not unless someone she trusted fully was looking out for her the whole time, but I feel like she'd get a chance to mellow out, to work through her traumas with the help of her friends, and for her to discovery more about who exactly she wants to be when not surviving an active crisis. And therin, I think, is where the real beauty of their relationship blossoms.

North60 Headcanons:

Now, finally! The actual point of your ask, lol! XD

Now, first of all, North60 as a concept has absolutely fascinated me for a very long time now. Again, owing to some in-depth discussions back in that Discord server, I began to think about just how similar these two characters might be? I mean, think about it: both of them living with the aftermath of an intimate violation, both covering up some deep-seated trauma and insecurity with anger and violence, both willing to go to terrible extremes to secure their safety or for the ones they love. There is a darkness to them both, one that I think many people wouldn't really understand. And with that in mind...

They have an innate understanding of each other: Now, this is the big one for me. This is what really drew me to the ship in the first place and made me fall so hard for them, lol. But that darkness that I mentioned they both harbor? I honestly believe that is key. I feel like they'd both recognize such a thing in each other. In my first North60 story, North meets Sixty at his very lowest point. She finds a broken android ready to give up on himself completely. And she sees in that a mirror to her own past self. North knows what it's like to be so low. To wake up a deviant in a world of cruelty and violence. She knows what it means to have done terrible things, to have regrets, to feel so all alone in a world that hates you. But luckily for her, she did find support. She found friends--family really--who love and support her despite her darkness. She found a purpose and a cause to fight for. She found a home. And she knows that that made all the difference. In my fic, she sees her former self in Sixty not only because he's broken, but because he can be saved. And she would never abandon one of her people so in need. But what's more, she wouldn't judge him for his past. And I think that's the real equalizer between them. Her lack of pity helps. Her understand helps. Her refusal to abandon someone who surely deserves no more second chances helps. Because for all his failings, here is someone who still sees worth in him. And that, I think, is the draw that really aligns them together.

They have a similar sense of humor: Now, in the same vein of them understanding each other, they also think each other is hilarious. XD Both of them can be a bit mean-spirited at times, their senses of humor veering towards sarcastic, maybe mocking, sometimes even cruel. But their sardonic humor amuses each other greatly. Their straightforward or stoic deliveries can send the other into peals of laughter. They'll one-up each other's mocking until they're both collapsed against each other, giggling like schoolchildren. And, of course, their bickering can be downright vicious-sounding to anyone who isn't them. In a way, I think it's something of a coping mechanism for them both, countering the darkness and trauma of their pasts with their equally dark humor. And y'know what? Having a pretty sarcastic sense of humor myself, I think they're fuckin hilarious, too. XD

They both crave violence: Now, again, I have to reiterate that this is not in a bad way. They're not going out murdering people for shits and giggles or laying into innocents for fun. But they were both raised on cruelty and savagery, violence is in their make-up. If androids had adrenal systems, I'd say it sends their pulses skyrocketing, lol. But even without the biological satisfaction, I think there would still be a thrill in it for them? Especially in an era of relative peace, in a controlled spar where they know they're safe and trust each other to stop when needed, I feel like they'd have an absolute blast just beating the shit out of each other, lol. Sixty himself was created to be a hunter. North wants to never feel powerless again. Being able to enact controlled violence on each other would help them keep their skills sharp and also be cathartic imo. So yeah, I hc that they both spar regularly as a way of bonding. But also, God help anyone who actually intends to harm them or those they care for because, as stated, neither of them are afraid to do some downright nefarious things to those they deem a threat.

They make each other feel safe in an unsafe world: To tie it all up, I think this is something very important for them both. As mentioned previously, neither of them have very pleasant origins. The darkness they understand in each other also serves as a sort of barrier with others and, while not completely isolating, I think it would leave them both... lonely. And so, I also believe that, in finally finding another who seems to get them so well, maybe they could finally manage to settle. To relax fully, knowing their partner will always have their back. Of course, threats are still out there, violence and tragedy still running rampant in the streets. But there, together, just the two of them? Their familiarity and understanding would soon turn to camaraderie, to trust. And when they're finally able to trust, fully, whole-heartedly, well... There is love in understanding, in commitment, in trust. North knows this. Sixty would learn it. When their affections sneak up on them, they'll do so slowly, guiding them easily into a relationship they'd never known they could have or want. I think... there would be no grand declarations, no formal engagements, no obvious changes in anything they do. Just a quiet realization that they are what each other's craved all along. And a hard-won peace that would come with that.

...God, I love them so much. T_T

Anyway, I kinda went overboard with all that, @valeffelees. I hope it's an acceptable response regardless, lol! Thank you so much for sending this ask in, I always enjoy any opportunity I get to talk about these two!!!

[fanby-fckry]

Distracting yourself from your problems by making a bunch of semi-unrelated shitposts is a time honored tradition.

Source: voxblr.vox #unreality cw #meta post #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #helluva boss

( 6 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

4 hr. ago

🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow

18 min. ago

🥺

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

3 min. ago

alright, alright, princess puppydog eyes. i’ll keep healing.

Source: sinstagram.vox #fr tho thanks charlie #i think i needed to hear that

( 104 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady 📠 Follow

24 min. ago

smut writing tips: sexualise guilt

Source: voxblr.vox #writeblr writing tips

( 3,510 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

1 hr. ago

You can't spell advertisements without putting semen between tits

🎀 charlies-angel Follow

1 hr. ago

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

1 hr. ago

I’m right tho

Source: voxblr.vox #cut me some slack vaggs #i’m trying to distract myself from fomo intimacy issues and crushing shame

( 6,966 notes )

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

2 hr. ago

I like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and thinking "I have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

2 hr. ago

Your impending execution should be your second priority! Your first priority should ALWAYS be your commitment to the bit!

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

2 hr. ago

remember, they can’t kill you if you never tell them the punch line 😎👉👉

Source: voxblr.vox #jester’s privilege

( 55,728 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

3 hr. ago

What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel

🎀 charlies-angel Follow

2 hr. ago

do u mean excited

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

2 hr. ago

That’s it the bitch, thanks Vaggs

Source: voxblr.vox #changed my mind tho #would fuck a pumpkin

( 649 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady 📠 Follow

3 hr. ago

i don’t have rizz i have one (1) big doll eye and many unsettling things to say

Source: voxblr.vox

( 1,622 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

4 hr. ago

The fact that makeup is considered to be “mature” and “sexulized” implies that being a clown or mime is the sluttiest job out there

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

3 hr. ago

damn, angel, just @ me next time

Source: voxblr.vox #🤪 #jester’s privilege

( 17,379 notes )

🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow

5 hr. ago

how can people be so rude and not feel bad afterwards… When I don’t say thank you or don’t smile back I’ll think about it for 3 months straight and have flashbacks

Source: voxblr.vox #vent post #🌈 posts

( 18 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 1

if I make it outta this alive, I’m gonna tell my crush I’m in love with him.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 1

fuck

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 3

ya know, I don’t think I’ve confessed to someone and meant it in over a decade?

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 3

haha would it be crazy if I said I forgot how?

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 5

today’s the day. i’m gonna do it.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

5 hr. ago

guess what I did not do yesterday

#fuck why is this so hard? #i don’t know what’s wrong with me #fuck i need a drink

( 316 notes )

🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow

Jul 6, 2013

Do you think Dad stays in Heaven because He too lives in fear of what He's created?

🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow

6 hr. ago

I made this post 7 years ago after my wife left me and my life was falling apart.

These 7 years have been some of the darkest times in my life, and considering how fucking ancient I am, that’s really saying something.

I thought humanity was beyond cruel, that Sinners were nothing but awful, irredeemable monsters. My daughter and her hotel have taught me otherwise.

My life is finally looking up. I’m starting to regain a sense of clarity I haven’t had since fucking Eden. And I have her, her Fallen gf, and their rag-tag bunch of Sinners to thank for that.

So thank you, Charlie. I’ve said it in person, but I’ll say it again here. Thank you for showing me that the gift of free will was not wasted. That what I did wasn’t all bad. I love you, sweetie.

Source: Know Your Meme #wholesome

( 92,616 notes )

⬜️ voxblrverse-meta Follow

7 hr. ago

Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost

[princesscolumbia]

For anyone who follows my stuff, you may not be aware I'm pretty into omegaverse stuff. I met my boifriend thanks to being in the meta-fandom, just seeing so many fics in my favorite fandoms being so positive about Alpha women has helped me with my gender identity as an NB (she/her) transwoman, and the setting is just so absolutely fascinating that I can't help but be inspired to write my own fics.

I'm participating in this event, though I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep up with the daily prompts, my writing tends to be "crock pot" writing, I throw a bunch of ideas in to stew and add a few things over time and when it's ready I serve it up. That said, I've already got a fic in progress and decided to put it the workflow out of cycle for the next chapter. Have a snippet of Deviation:

“So you came from, what, a mirror dimension?” asked Celestia.

“Mirror universe, technically, and it’d probably be better to just say ‘parallel,’ ‘cause there are enough differences that it’s not a perfect reflection,” answered Sunset.

“Right, and one of those differences is that I’m an immortal princess who was buddies with the greatest mathematician in centuries and keeps a herd of unicorns at her school.”

“Ah, no.” Sunset blushed, “She’s an alicorn, and we don’t know that alicorns are really immortal, but they don’t seem to die of old age, and she was Starswirl’s student. And the ‘for unicorns’ is just a name these days. They have programs for weather magic and about ten years ago started a college for earth pony magical studies.”

Something in the way Sunset clarified the statement caused a ‘click’ of understanding. “...are your people even humanoid?” she almost, but not quite, stammered.

Sunset looked every inch the awkward pre-teen as she clasped her hands between her knees and hunched over, as though fearing reprisal for her answer. She shook her head and said, “No, we’re equines sapiens…ponies, specifically.” As she spoke, she began rocking slightly, nerves on display as her eyes flitted around the room instinctually.

Luna’s eyebrows shot up. “Ponies? Little horses? And…you were a pony? How did you become a human?” The somewhat rancid smell of lilacs and decaying food waste rolled off her, this time Sunset practically flinched back, her nose wrinkling. Sunset’s eyes teared up and the girl’s own scent of grassy fields after a rainstorm was overpowered by the sour smell of rancid oil, the scent Celestia had determined was Sunset’s expression of nervous confusion mixed with fear of some sort.

The girl hugged herself and started hunching in again as Luna’s pheromones flooded the room. In that moment, Celestia decided to try a blind test; she exerted her mental control and nearly completely smothered her own pheromone production and muted her Alpha dominance as much as possible. Luna noticed and glanced down at her sister, Celestia just gave the slightest shake of her head and subtly raised a finger to indicate Luna shouldn’t say anything. In the absence of Celestia’s influence, the room became almost oppressive with Luna’s scent.

Sunset abruptly whimpered and curled in on herself. The subtle rocking became shivering as she clapped her hands over her ears and buried her face in her arms. “No…no…no…I wanna go home…no…”

Celestia reached up to clasp her sister’s wrist without looking away from Sunset, though she didn’t need to. Luna’s suspicion finally gave way for concern, and the rancid trash smell was swiftly replaced with the soft, slightly sweet smell of brown sugar baked into cookies. Slowly, Sunset calmed, the muttering and whining being replaced with quiet sobbing.

Celestia released her sister’s arm, again without looking away from Sunset, and asked, “Sunset, have you had these…reactions often since you came to this world?”

“Yes,” sobbed the girl, voice muffled from her face still being buried in her arms, “It…it gets really bad in P.E. or in a test, I feel like I’m surrounded like I can’t get away and everyone’s pressed against me and I just want to be left alone and I can’t get away and I want to hit someone and bite them and…” her whole frame shuddered.

Sunset’s reaction was running its course, the girl’s rocking and shaking finally settling down. Celestia let her own pheromones loose and called up her inner Alpha to assert comfort and reassurance. The girl instantly stilled and began to uncurl, even Luna’s posture softened, leaning gently in the direction of her sister. Luna had told Celestia it smelled like cinnamon and allspice baked into a pie during Harvest Festival to her.

“Sunset…” Celestia began, “Do…ponies…have Alphas?”

The girl’s head popped up, tears staining her face and pure confusion rolling off her, “Alphas…what? What does that mean?”

“Alphas, that’s what you are…do you know what betas are?” Celestia asked. Sunset shook her head again, “Omegas?” another, highly confused denial of understanding.

This time the look shared by Celestia and Luna was deeper and carried more meaning, both sisters frowning visibly and concern wafting off them like spring rain. The principal stretched an arm across her desk to the desk phone and pushed a button, “Raven, can you please reschedule my appointments to clear my afternoon? Luna will take any that absolutely can’t wait.”

Her secretary’s voice came through the phone, “Certainly. Will I need to contact the steam cleaners to do a deep clean? There’s been more drama wafting under the door than the last time Diamond Tiara earned herself detention by getting into a fight with Trixie.”

Celestia chuffed in irritation even as Luna chuckled. Sunset seemed just as confused by the secretary’s response, but smiled and smelled a bit of…cherry pie? Thought Celestia, what in the world could that scent indicate? “No, Raven…actually, yes, it might be a good idea, but have them bill my private accounts instead of the school’s. I think…I think we’ll need discretion with this one.”

Raven didn’t hesitate, her tone losing its playful tease, “Of course. I’ll use my cell phone for the call, then.” “Thank you, Raven,” Celestia responded before releasing the button. She turned to her sister, “Luna, can you go to the cafeteria and get Sunset’s lunch and a cup of hot water for me, then stop by the nurse’s office and ask Redheart to bring a vapor inhaler and…” she turned to Sunset with a sigh, “And her ‘runaway’ kit.”

The rest can be found on both fimfiction.net and AO3, and I'm hoping to get the next chapter posted by 6/12.

collection :

And a hash tag

#KnotInMyName

[glorywaited]

👉🏽👈🏽 what if we did poly ships together

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

WIP Wednesday - “Obedience”

So this week’s story, Obedience, is a little difficult to talk about. I already discussed on Saturday how it was inspired by just the sense of utter hopelessness that came upon me while researching German history between WWI and WWII which, shockingly, might be tied to why no one is reading it.

(I DO NOT BLAME ANYONE for that. I fully understand that “bleak depictions of the hopeless state of war and the ways in which the army attempts to destroy the sense of self” is not exactly the kind of thing people go to AO3 to read. This was kind of something I wrote for myself? But I’m glad a few people have also enjoyed it.)

One of my readers commented that the way Briathos berates Aziraphale in this story reminded them of how Crowley is with his plants, only worse.

(Literally could not get the “Grow Better” GIF to work why does Tumblr hate me??)

Anyway, while this wasn’t directly what inspired her (I hadn’t seen the connection before), it really comes from the same place.

@wanna-b-poet31 has written some great metas on the abuse Crowley and Aziraphale have suffered and the coping mechanisms they developed as a result. I’m going to specifically link to this one on Crowley’s harmful coping mechanisms, because of the mention of his yelling at his plants. Specifically, the way he uses his plants to relive his own rejection by Heaven, casting out any that are less than perfect with the same terrifying wrath that he probably felt directed at himself.

Seriously that one paragraph from the meta just made me feel so many things and I’m still feeling a lot of them, how do I process this??

It is through this scene - through the trembling fear of his plants - that we get a hint of the wrathful, violent side of Heaven. Yes, you see the three angels ganging up on Aziraphale in episode 5, and yes Sandalphon walks around like a mob enforcer, but honestly what we get onscreen is mostly just the slow, suffocating combination of emotional abuse and neglect. Through Crowley and his plants, we see the way just a tiny application of fear and threats can keep everyone else in line.

And that is something I wanted to develop a bit more through Sawdust of Words. At the moment it’s just rearing its head now and again across the timeline.

The first question, of course, was who to have delivering the threats. I wanted the scene to be mid-battle, and as I’ve stated before, I think the Archangels are too hands-off to ever be in the trenches dressing down one of their soldiers (or, technically, low-ranked officers in Aziraphale’s case). 

Side note: if Sandalphon is the “enforcer” I wonder if he is not, in fact, an Archangel (I don’t believe he’s identified as one in any major Angelology) but instead someone whose service during the War made him especially distinguished. If Gabriel is the CEO, Sandalphon is the ex-marine chief of security/personal bodyguard is what I’m getting at.

Anyway, that meant I needed to create a new character, someone who could be there to do the Archangels’ terrorizing for them. Briathos (who is listed in my source as “an angel who thwarts demons”) is one of MANY who serve this role (she’s really a mid-ranked officer herself), but definitely distinguishes herself by being VERY ENTHUSIASTIC in her threatening. She is a True Believer (TM) in somewhat of a different way than Aziraphale is - while he believes that the Ineffable Plan will come to Good in the end, despite the occasional Flood-genocide, she believes completely in the righteousness of everything Heaven does, in this case, killing a whole bunch of rebellious angels.

So now that I have a threaten-er, the next question is what is the threat? She obviously can’t threaten disobedient angels with Falling (as a concept, Falling doesn’t exist this early in the War...slight spoiler, but I’m thinking when all the rebellious angels were abruptly cast out of Heaven, it was just as much a shock to those fighting them...and in any case, that decision would be WAY over her paygrade).* So that brought me to my other idea: Forgiveness.

This is something I’ve hinted at before. I grew up very much involved in the Catholic Church, and one thing you’ll often hear people say is that the Church is VERY much obsessed with guilt and forgiveness - until relatively recently, you went to Confession EVERY WEEK and had a long discussion over everything you’d done wrong, you were made to feel every less-than-perfect thought was a sin, etc. You do not have to dig very deeply to find so many ways this concept has been abused in the last 2,000 years, on some massive scales. The idea that absolution from sin was something you could PURCHASE - even for sins you hadn’t committed yet - was one of the major causes of the Reformation, which got us all the Protestant Churches. The idea of Catholic Guilt is just, like, a really easy punchline for anyone who grew up Catholic, right?

To be honest, this wasn’t my experience AT ALL. My anxiety already leaves me feeling guilty enough all the time (every social interaction makes me berate myself as a moron; my short temper resulted in plenty of actions I regretted). To me, the idea of divine Forgiveness was a lifeline. As long as I kept trying, as long as I WANTED to be a better person, there was one Being who would always be willing to give me another chance, who wasn’t going to give up on me the way everyone else I knew would. That kept me going through a lot of really dark times. I have one distinct memory of going to Confession in high school and it was like the weight of everything I’d done up to that point in my life was taken off my shoulders and put aside, and I was able to go on without it burdening me anymore. The feeling was...indescribable.

So finding out about this dark other side to one of the most important parts of my religion was...well, the best I can say is it was really hard for me.

So it was pretty much inevitable that, writing a story about angels and demons, the concept of Forgiveness was going to come up. It hovers around the edges of “Early Days” in Aziraphale’s anxiety about his sword, Crowley brings it up directly in Chapter 4 - when talking about the behavior of the humans, the thing that made him think they HADN’T been completely corrupted was their ability to forgive each other, no matter what.

Of course it’s in the show itself; who could forget:

(Off the top of my head there are three major scenes involving Forgiveness, which maybe I should address in its own meta?)

So here’s my thoughts on Heavenly Forgiveness in a nutshell:

Heaven, and by extension the angels, are supposed to Forgive and Love freely and unconditionally. You may have noticed they, sort of, DON’T. The Rebellion and the War are a large part of what lead to these changes, Heaven becoming harsher and more authoritarian. One way this immediately manifested itself was in the idea of Forgiveness.

Once the Soon-To-Be-Demons Rebelled, well, they’re UNFORGIVABLE. Now all of a sudden, Forgiveness IS conditional. It can be withheld. It can be denied. If you screw up, it is now SOMEONE ELSE’S decision if you still have worth, if you can be redeemed. And the first thing the higher-ranked angels do is turn Forgiveness into a club they can use to beat the lower-ranked ones into whatever shape they need.

Reducing those like Aziraphale into quivering plants, terrified of the sound of the woodchipper and a now-empty flowerpot.

“Obedience” is here on AO3. If my edits are completed on schedule, the next story will go up Friday night/Saturday morning, and be less bleak.

*Yes, I suppose you can either interpret the casting out as what STARTED the War or what ENDED it; I’m going with the latter.

[clairen45]

Digging into Rey and Kylo’s Spotify Playlists- part 1: episode 7 songs

The Shut Up and Dance with Me post really pushed me to go through the songs from the Spotify playlists and give you the lowdown, as I see it. That these lists even exist is beyond me! And, just to be clear, these lists have been released in 2015 pre-TFA. With no modification, even pre or post TLJ. No added material. If anything, they actually removed some songs from the lists: 2 for Kylo and 3 for Rey. I don’t think the changes necessarily meant that the songs were too revealing or, on the contrary, didn’t fit the characters anymore. It might just be copyright or legal issue or some artistic differences or god knows what. But again, the point of these lists were to get to know the characters a little better. Some characters we already knew of course, the big three ( Luke, Leia, Han Solo), but also Obi-Wan and Yoda, a list for Anakin and a list for Vader, Padmé, Mace Windu, Bobba Fett, Chewbacca... Lists for new characters: Finn, BB8... surprisingly no Poe Dameron. By the way, I think the Dark Side’ list is super interesting! And of course Rey and Kylo. Rey’s list is full of pop, girl empowerment anthem kind of songs, with a few romantic ballads, which already meant something. Kylo’s is of course full of angsty rock. I don’t want to comment on the genre. My mission was less on the musical genres than on the lyrics and how they can shed some light on the characters and their fates. Because, sure, a team chose these songs to let us know about the characters but, honestly, guys, I think somebody let them in on the rough draft of the whole ST. Because post TLJ it is obvious that a lot of songs apply to what happened as far as Rey and Kylo are concerned in this movie. And since we have our bunch of ep 7 songs, and a bunch of ep 8 songs, well, it appears a bunch of songs don’t fit either and could very well give us key information about ep 9. Before I get accused again of “reaching” (LOL), let us be honest: I think they put a lot of care into those playlists. So no, I don’t think coincidences are accidental. And yes, I think it’s fair to speculate about episode 9 looking at the songs. So let’s take the journey and crack these songs together.

There are 53 songs for Kylo (I am excluding the original soundtrack every time) and 54 for Rey. Rey’s playlist also has tunes in common with Padmé, Leia, and Luke. 4 songs in common with Padmé, quite a lot: Smoke and Fire, Rich Girl, Fighter, and Bulletproof. With Leia: Smoke and Fire, and the fact that they both have Love is a Battlefield, except that Leia is Pat Benatar’s song, and Rey’s is Jordin Spark’s song. Same title, different songs. This marks Rey as the “heiress” to these two heroines, which is not surprising. I think it is quite remarkable that she shares so many songs with Padmé, as regards the Anidala inversion we always talk about. Rich Girl, in particular, because Padmé was a Queen, so yes, the rich girl, whereas in Rey’s case the song is ironic. Rey also shares 2 song with Luke: Wild by Troye Sivan (I honestly don’t get what this song does on Luke’s playlist, so that must mean something potentially), and Adventure of a Lifetime. With Luke as a mentor to Rey in ep 8, that would kind of make sense that they would share something. I honestly merely skimmed through all the playlists, but Rey and Kylo seem to be the only one who share  songs with other characters (if I am wrong, please correct me). Kylo shares 3 songs, 1 with Anakin (and NOT Vader), Bored to Death, 1 with BB8, Destroy the Map, and one with Mace Windu on You want a Battle (Here’s War). Interesting also. I won’t necessarily comment on that today, because there is a lot to go through, but these are thoughts to save and process later maybe.

Some songs can also fit two, maybe the three, episodes. And also, I have noticed something very interesting in Rey’s playlist: a lot of songs that feature in her playlist seem to be more from Kylo’s POV (like Shut up and Dance). They should normally feature on his list but because they would break away from the others in terms of genre, it is probably how they ended on Rey’s list. I found on Kylo’s playlist 1 song that, to me, should rather feature on Rey’s list, but again, would seem odd in terms of genre.

1.KYLO’S LIST/ EPISODE 7

Kylo’s list also seems way more descriptive about his character, angst, inner conflict, feelings of pain and revenge, than Rey’s list. There is a lot of songs talking about past abuse and family conflict. Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson is a good example: “ Some of them want to use you/ Some of them want to get used by you/ Some of them want to abuse you/ Some of them want to be abused”. References to dreams and nightmares in Kylo’s playlist are also quite noteworthy because they tie in with Rey’s visions as described in TFA: she hears voices in her dreams, and when she first sees Kylo, she knows that she has seen him before “in a dream, in a nightmare”. We can also find some parallels with the plot in episode 7: the Jakku massacre, meeting Rey, killing Han... Recurring themes are, without surprise, fire, death, suffering, dreams and nightmares...

This Means War (Avenged Sevendold). That song is packed with so much about his feelings and his introduction in the ST. It goes on and on really. I could quote the whole thing. But here are the highlights :

Hide my face again, harbor in the shadows (duh!) Feel this weight of sin hammering away Die, with the guilt of a thousand AWOL soldiers (The pull to the light) Die, watch the scythe usher me astray (Lor San Tekka’s execution)

The ugly side of me is strong

Carry me to nowhere  (Jakku is nowhere!) Lie!Mask the pain Of a child who's forsaken Lie! To myself Praise the new regime (honestly, did they write the song for Kylo?)

I left me long ago Reasons you'll never know No one to miss me when I'm gone With no more words to say No argument to stay. Another post I don't belong (Lor San Tekka: The First Order rose from the dark side. You did not)

No home to call my own No finding someone new No one to break the fall No one to see me through No name to carry on No promise for today No one to hear the call (Oh hon, hang on, the girl is coming!) Buy into the fear (Rey: You are afraid!) My serpent blood can strike so cold (Murderous snake! again) Another thought I can't control (Force bond much?)

Elements of TFA Plot:

Legion of Evil (OFF): “Break down houses”, “ Mystery crews on a murderous spree” (the opening on Jakku, with his mysterious identity) but also “Retaliation against horrible gods/Treasonous snakes with gentlemen's lies/ Waving a false flag to sell the deception” which of course are reminiscent of his line to Rey about the Resistance: “ You mean the murderers traitors and thieves you call your friends ? “. But can also ironically evoke Snoke’s influence on him: he is the treasonous snake with gentlemen’s lies. Or even to him as seen from Rey’s POV in 7 and at the beginning of TLJ: “a treasonous snake”/ “murderous snake”/ “liar”...

The Red (Chevelle) and Evil Eye (Franz Ferdinand), both emphasize the color red, which is Kylo’s color theme.Thunder and Lightning (Motorhead”, “ Maybe you'll die, maybe you'll fly/ Fire in the sky, thunder and lightning”.  Heart of Fire (Black Veil Brides): “ I feel alive inside I won't be terrorized, I'll take all the blame/This heart of fire is burning proud/ I am every dream you lost and never found/ This heart of fire is stronger now”. Also the attack on Jakku.

The Map plot: R2 where are U (Flying Lotus): it takes both BB8 and R2 to find Luke’s hideout. This song is also on BB8′s list by the way. Destroy the Map  (36 Crazy Fists). Obviously the title is interesting because Kylo gives up on the map and gets Rey instead. The song presents some other interesting points: something that could evoke Starkiller base “ And the clouds don't break when the sun is on empty” , and also something that seems to fit straight into TLJ: “You couldn't hold your mouth to stop the sound/ With all these riches on the tip of your tongue/And I was trying to dampen it all out/You were talking louder than I should here/Producing nothing but all these mirrors”, “ Where the baptized drown/We used to breathe” (Rey in the cave) “This time, our time, we have, we'll last”. So gain some songs can actually fit more than 1 episode.

Failing on Starkiller: beaten up by Rey, never got the intel about Luke... At least I’m known for something (New Found Glory): “ I've figured out my situation/ I am an endless source of useless information/ Give me bad news could be something expecting/ I let my front down/ And I know I will regret it/ /But you don't know that and I'm the one to blame for it/'Cause I'm destined for failure“. More Starkiller: My own Summer (Deftones): “ Hey you, big star/ Tell me when it's over”.

Family and Han:

Refusing his legacy. War on the Palaces (Refused):

I carry history with me I carry hope   (I see you Ben You are My Only Hope Solo!!!!) All the nameless faces before us Let's carry them all

I wanna carry the dead (his attachment for Vader instead of the living members of his family) Wage war on the palaces

Bored to Death (Blink 182): “ And it's a long way back from seventeen/The whispers turn into a scream/And I'm, I'm not coming home/Save your breath, I'm nearly/ Bored to death”. Mene (Brand New): “ My father spoke of prophecy/ To think that I believed is self-centered of me/There was something I was trying to say/ But then I choked on it and now it's getting kind of late” (@madandmisquoted did a meta on how Kylo mumbles “I love you dad”+ “It is too late”). Indestructible (Rancid): “ It's so fake now, everything I see right through/I'm ashamed now to say I ever know you” evoke his scene with Han. I don’t wanna Hear It (Minor Threat): “ I don't want to hear it/ I'm sick and tired of all your lies/ I don't want to hear it/ When are you gonna realize.”. Family and mommy issues: Down With the Sickness (Disturbed): “ It seems what's left of my human side/ Is slowly changing in me”, “ It seems you're having some trouble/ In dealing with these changes/ Living with these changes / The world is a scary place/ Now that you've woken up the demon in me”, “ No mommy, don't do it again/Don't do it again/ I'll be a good boy/I'll be a good boy, I promise No mommy don't hit me/ Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?”. 

Conflict

Got the Life (Korn): “Hate, something, someway, each day, dealing with no forgiveness/ Why? This shit inside/ Now everyone will follow/ So give me nothing just feel/ And now this shit will follow/ God begs me, the more I see the light, who wants to see?”. Strife (Trivium): “ I reach for calm/ I starve for a balance unknown/ This burden tortures me deep in my soul” ; “ Guilt buries me alive/ In a coffin criticized/ I shouldered the blame and dug this hole for me to lay in”. Duality (Slipknot). The title says it all, but it definitely applies to the scene with Han: “ You cannot kill what you did not create”;  “Pull me back together/ Or separate the skin from the bone/ Leave me all the pieces, and then you can leave me alone” (Can apply to “I’m feeling torn apart”, “I killed your son, he was foolish and weak” ).

The Girl

I know that’s what you’ve been waiting for. There are 2 major songs about Rey in that list and one them has been removed, A Cross and a Girl Named Bless (Evans Blue). That song presents some elements that stretch all the way to 9. I’m including it here, because of the obvious reference to the way they meet on Takodana:

She's holding out for weapons to kill the ghosts inside (She shoots at a ghostlike figure in the forest)

Or at least kill the thoughts she has of killing her mind (Get out of my head!)

She says "I love you" with her hands (TLJ: Smut Hut)

She says "I hate you" with her eyes (You have that look from the forest..)

There's a pretty girl somewhere with a pretty name (What girl?)

But I could never let you know how much this means I swear we'll end this war, because we both know

It wasn't worth fighting for  (Major episode IX spoiler)

She, she said to me I will be driving in the wrong direction Did you ever think that maybe your life

Is heading in the wrong direction, baby? (Throne Room Scene)

There's a cross up on the wall See from the corner of your eye When you're down on you knees...and she's begging please So go and lay back down tonight Because you won't know who you are

Until you're down on your knees...your begging please (End of TLJ, Crait)

The other big song is The Answer (Savages):

Wish me luck This was a hard year And I can't see No brighter future Wish me luck I saw the answer It was a girl (What girl?) Will you go ask her  (Interrogation scene, the girl is all we need) I saw the answer Will you go ask her Love is the answer

Evil (Interpol): “ Heaven restores you in life/ You're coming with me/ Through the aging, the fearing, the strife/ It's the smiling on the package/ It's the faces in the sand” (the abduction, Rey is literally a face in the sand, the smile...), “You're weightless, semi-erotic/ You need someone to take you there/Sandy, why can't we look the other way?/Why can't we just play the other game?” (he carries her in his arms like a feather, You need a teacher!).

There is also a song there that is all about Rey’s POV on Kylo in TFA. Headstrong (Trapt) screams Rey during the interrogation scene. But, again, they couldn’t have put it on her playlist so it features on his instead.

Circling your head contemplating everything you ever said (getting in HIS head) Now I see the truth I got a doubt  (You... are afraid you will never be as trong as Darth Vader!) A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out (escapes the interrogation room) See you later I see your fantasies You wanna make it a reality baby paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads yeah Well now that's over

Back off I'll take you on (Forest duel) Headstrong to take on anyone (Come on, that is SO Rey!) I know that you are wrong Headstrong we're Headstrong Back off I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong This is not where you belong (Trying to turn him in 8)

I can't give everything away (I won’t give you anything!) I won't give everything away

2.REY’S PLAYLIST/EPISODE 7

JAKKU

There are songs about Rey’s life conditions on Jakku. Poverty in Rich Girl (Gwen Stefani): “ If I was a rich girl/ See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl/ No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end/ Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl”. Of course the morale of the song is “All the riches in the world don’t mean anything without your love”. To remind us that if Rey has dreams it’s mostly about finding love and belonging. Interesting that she shares this song with Padmé who had the riches + the love and still didn’t get her happy ever after, but more on that later...

New Americana (Halsey) about survival of the fittest, the daily struggle of poverty, social divide. That one is also interesting because of its reference to James Dean: “ Young James Dean, some say/ He looks just like his father”. There is also the big reveal about Kylo being Han’s son.  I  think it’s probably how they first imagined Kylo, as a hypersensitive, rebellious, angsty youth, a character from East of Eden (another reference to Eden). The character played by James Dean, in Elia Kazan’s adaptation of Steinbeck’s famous novel, is Cal, a rebellious son who believes his father does not love him and sees him as evil incarnate. Kylo much?

Daylight (Matt and Kim) can also be about home and Jakku: “I miss yellow lines in my roads/ Some color on monochrone”, ‘Cause the daylight anywhere feels like home”. In TFA she wants to go back to Jakku. Rey is also used to having to fight for her survival: “ Murder lives forever/And so does war/ It's survival of the fittest/ Rich against the poor/ At the end of the day/ It's a human trait/ Hidden deep down inside of our DNA”.

Some songs talk about Rey’s dreams and her feelings of loneliness.Chandelier (Sia): “I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist/ Like it doesn't exist/ I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night,/ Feel my tears as they dry”. How she lives on a day to day basis and feels lonely all the time. Wake Me Up (Avicii):  

Feeling my way through the darkness Guided by a beating heart I can't tell where the journey will end But I know where to start They tell me I'm too young to understand They say I'm caught up in a dream Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes Well that's fine by me (stuck waiting on Jakku)

So wake me up when it's all over When I'm wiser and I'm older All this time I was finding myself And I didn't know I was lost

I tried carrying the weight of the world (Literally her job as a scavenger) But I only have two hands I hope I get the chance to travel the world And I don't have any plans I wish that I could stay forever this young Not afraid to close my eyes Life's a game made for everyone And love is a prize

THE FIGHTER

Of course songs about Rey, the independent girl, the fighter... Fighter (Christina Aguilera): “ 'Cause it makes me that much stronger/ Makes me work a little bit harder/ It makes me that much wiser/ So thanks for making me a fighter/ Made me learn a little bit faster/ Made my skin a little bit thicker/ Makes me that much smarter/ So thanks for making me a fighter”. Another song shared with Padmé. I know the song is about a guy that cheated on the girl and lied to her, but rather than about Kylo, this song can apply to a lot of people in Rey’s life: her parents, Unkar Plutt, and all the people she’s had to deal with since childhood. There is Run the World (Beyoncé) that could also be foreshadowing for episode ix. Kelly Clarkson’s Miss Independent, with the perfect title for Rey’s episode 7, but the message about love in this song actually fits better episode 8. Roar (Katy Perry): empowerment anthem, plus Rey looks like a lioness at the end of TFA, baring her teeth and snarling at Kylo. Possibly Piece of Me (Britney Spears).

Confident (Demi Lovato) fits well with Roar. That one screams end of TFA with beating Kylo down.

It's time for me to take it I'm the boss right now Not gonna fake it Not when you go down 'Cause this is my game And you better come to play

I used to hold my freak back

Now I'm letting go

I make my own choice (accepting the saber)

Bitch, I run this show So leave the lights on No, you can't make me behave

So you say I'm complicated

That I must be outta my mind But you had me underrated Rated, rated

What's wrong with being, what's wrong with being

What's wrong with being confident?

 There is the teaser song about Rey’s origin. That’s Not my Name (The Ting Things). Well, in TFA everybody is asking about her identity, about “the girl”, wo that would make sense to have this song. Rey might not even be her name after all, though she is old enough when her parents sell her to remember it; Does it mean we will l get a new name in ix? Maybe. Or just Rey Solo. I think the song is really there for the fun about the possible identity of Rey...

THE ESCAPE

Songs about Rey leaving Jakku and becoming a pilot. Obviously: Starships (Nicki Minaj) because “starships are meant to fly”. Boom Boom Pow (The BEP): “ I'm on that supersonic boom/ Y'all hear the spaceship zoom”. Alive Tonight (Grace Potter), for these lines: “In the dark of the desert/  I saw a man with a sign, it said/ People get ready, 'cause it's all over/ It's all gonna end tonight, well” ( On Jakku, Lor San Tekka is the man with the intel about Luke promising that “this will begin to make things right”, and eventually this sign gets to Rey through BB8 at dusk in the desert). I also like these lines: “ You wanna get in on the action, you want/ Everyone to listen to you, oh/ You're just living in a prediction/ And that don't, that don't make it true, no” which fits the fact that things will not be as simple as Rey thinks. Also about the end of Rey’s time on Jakku, The Dog Days are Over (Florence+ the Machines): “The dog days are over/The dog days are done/ The horses are coming so you better run”.  These lines are great: “Leave all your love and your longing behind you/ Can't carry it with you if you want to survive”, about giving up on Jakku and close to Maz’s line about “the belonging you seek is not behind you”.

MEETING KYLO

Now, with songs that reflect on meeting Kylo... There is Gibberish (Max): “ But then I caught you creepin'/ Secrets that you were keepin”, which could fit the interrogation scene. Or the title could just refer to the fact that Rey seems to understand every language she meets (BB8, Chewie...). LOL. Obviously, the beautiful Yes Girl (Bea Miller):

I got you figured out, you need to have control You think that I don't know you, I know you, I know Trying to tell you now, I've been doing what you want But I won't be your yes girl, no, not anymore

And these even better lines: “ And now you're my favorite sin, oh/ Cause I'm either on your side or you're a mile away” (which fits TLJ better). There is Focus (Ariana Grande): “ I can tell you're curious/ It's written on your lips/ Ain't no need to hold it back/ Go ahead and talk your shit/ I know you're hoping that I'll react/ I know you're hoping I'm looking back/ But if my real ain't real enough/ Then I don't know what is” (again, mood for the interrogation scene). Also like that line: “ Let's find a light inside our universe now/ Where ain't nobody keep on holding us down”. 

That one seems really more to me from Kylo’s POV when Rey leaves for the MF at the end of TFA. We Come Running (Youngblood Hawke):

Headed for the open door Tell me what you're waiting for (Rey is coded as the waiting one) Look across the great divide   (the ground falling apart between them) Soon they're gonna hear The sound, the sound, the sound (Boom goes Starkiller) When we come running Never go where we belong (obviously, they parted ways when they should be together) Echoes in the dead of dawn  (Force bond foreshadowing echoes?) Soon they're gonna know The sound, the sound, the sound When we come running

And also that one: Force of Nature (Bea Miller). That one really fits Kylo in TFA as he starts falling for Rey during their duel on Starkiller: I don't know why but my hands are shaking I can see you coming and I stand here waiting (Didn’t put up much of a fight, honestly) Yeah I get tongue tied in the conversation (Lost the interrogation scene fight) It's an F'd up, bad, sick situationI tried to tie my heart down, board up all the windows Oh but it's too late now (Too late is classic Kylo) I let you get too close (like inside my head) I know I should take cover, hide inside these four walls But baby I surrender, it all'Cause you're a force of nature (Marry Me Face) Look at what you've done I can taste the danger but I don't wanna run So pull me to the ground and I won't put up a fight (End of the fight) I'm a caution taker, but baby you're a force of nature Baby you're a force of natureI feel your lips move in and they take me under (The Force? Mesmerized in looking at her) You know just what to do, how to make me want you And I know I'll be broken when it's over Oh but I can't help but pull you closerI'll be here 'till we collide I don't care if I survive So crash into me one more time

Say what you want, but this beautiful ballad is all about Kylo’s feelings for Rey!

BONUS: THE INVERSE ANIDALA SONG?

There’s an intriguing tune in Kylo’s playlist. Incorporeal (Tiger Army).

I’m gone I died long ago but my spirit still roams (Incorporeal) Unwanted in heaven, forgotten in hell as on earth (Incorporeal) I don't want to stay here, it seems that I'll never be free Oh can you hear me? (no) And so It has come to be that I must wander forever (Incorporeal) Many things I have seen, empires that rise and then fall (Incorporeal) A life you live long is simply a moment to me A tiny drop of water in the sea of eternity There's no place for me everywhere that I go Only seems to bring upset and harm There's one thing that I want and one thing only Release into the great beyond Don't want to remember when I was alive When I held my true love in my arms For like you I once was, and like me you shall be When you Feel a chill in the night perhaps it's me saying hello (Incorporeal) You're so much like my love though she lived in a long ago time (Incorporeal) I long to see her, the day when my soul's laid to rest The peace that I can not find in life, I can find in death

Honestly, this song makes me want to scream!!! Heavy reincarnation theme. Especially when you cross that with Rey sharing 4 songs with Padmé. And with the fact that Anakin (not Vader) and Kylo share a song. And the song  I mentioned, Rich Girl. Rey is the inverse Padmé already, right? She’s the younger one in the couple, and she is poor with a low status. Again, Padmé has everything (the riches and the guy) and didn’t end up happy. By sharing songs, it might be another hint that Rey will succeed where Padmé didn’t.

This is it for 7, guys. It is quite a beast. 34 songs left to go through in Rey’s playlist, 25 for Kylo.

[madestrcng]

tagged by: @dcputyrook​ tagging: whomest ever

BASICS:

Name: Bee ;w; Age: 22 Pronouns: they / them Sexuality: Gay Zodiac sign: Capricorn  Taken or single: single pringle Four Things About This Blog: ✘ I originally made it to be a John Seed blog while I was still playing through the game, but after considering and playing more of it, I decided on Staci instead.  ✘ Partly why I decided on Staci was because he was similar to a muse I use to play that I missed, and mostly because I found @badwclv​‘s blog in the tags while I was on my personal and I just ???? wanted to have a reason to write with them and I hadn’t seen any blogs for Staci when I looked. So I was the first to write him on here. ✘ uuuuuuh, a lot of Staci’s backstory is based on previous characters I played from other fandoms that I thought were similar, my own personal experience (see below), and some fanfics I had read about him. His secondary verse (cult verse) is heavily influenced by a fanfic actually. Embarrassing to admit haha I just found the story concept and Staci’s development interesting and I wanted to see where I could go with that. ✘ I write Staci as being Native American and had grown up on the Rez. Mostly because I myself am Native American and grew up and lived on an Indian reservation all my life before moving for College. I decided to do this partly because of how Staci looked (nonwhite, dark hair, etc), and also based on the general area of where this might all take place. Montana is home to a lot of different Indigenous tribes, like The Cheyenne, Crow Nation, Bitterroot Salish, Blackfoot, just to name a few. I decided on Blackfoot because their reservation is North of where Hope County is supposed to be set. Idk if that is really that interesting but I just ??? wanted to do it, because not a lot is known about Staci before EG, and I found it as a way to build his character and connect to him more personality. Like, if he and I shared experiences even if they were mundane and small, it would make writing him more real to me?? Idk f that makes sense, but point is that bc of this I created like 5 other FC5 OCs or Other Characters (Wheaty) on my multi who are also Indigenous and I get to thrive??? writing native characters??? Thanks I suck lmao

Three Mun Facts: ✘ I will go the fuck off about character theories or headcanons for the most minor characters ever. I only really do it on discord because I fear being annoying and spamming but, I got some deep ass metas in my head. ✘ I wanted to be a filmmaker since I was 4 years old, and I made some short films in middle school and high school. So when I graduated I moved across the country a month later and went to film school. I graduated with a degree in film & cinematography, and every time I watch Inside Eden’s Gate or any of the shorts made for Far Cry, I cry because I wanna make some shit like that. Super wild. ✘ I can play bass guitar and use to be able to play piano like a mf but I stopped and now I’m really rusty. Anyway, hire me to be your bassist in your punk band ;3c

EXPERIENCE:

How’d you start: I rped Naruto over texting with my best friend in Middle School. Platforms you’ve used:  I pretty much jumped right into tumblr after that, never did the forums or anything. I think for awhile we used skype :0 but I only really rped over skype, email, facebook, and texting on and off for awhile with her. But I found uuuuuh, a Durarara!! rp group randomly like two years later and was like oh???  Anyway, so I’ve used skype, email, tumblr, aim??, facebook, and I now RP on Discord a lot more. Best experience: honestly hard to say, I think when I just met people I really hit it off with and we just meshed well is always the best. But if I have to be specific uuuuh, I once joined an RP group about Gods or something, and I eventually got my best friends to join which is what got them into Rping. Also through it I met another girl who became like, my best friend online for YEARS after that, from age like, 13 to age 20?? And also bc I was a big gay, I fell in love with her which uuh, didn’t end well but point is that, the best part is just making friends who you love and adore who stick with you even after the group or fandom you were in together dies.  Worst experience:  fuck ok honestly, I had someone who would hound me to ship all the time, and would follow me every time I moved blogs. They would constantly hound me to write smut with them (even tho I was underage) and if I said no they would just be like oh well too bad and would start writing their character doing some shit with mine and get really fucking mean to me if I didn’t reply. Also would constantly bug me to reply to them and guilt trip me, even if I wasn’t home to reply or if I was at school, they would get really mean and vicious about it. And would post horrible shit about me on the dash and stuff when I wasn’t home to reply to our threads.

And they would constantly like, play if off like I was the bad guy and the abusive one and was overall just really toxic and super mean to me and my friends? Pushed away my other shipping partners, forced me to tell my best friend I cant ship with her anymore or else??? And we were all like, 14 or 15 at the time when we met them, and they were like, 36 and had a kid and was married. I didn’t get away from them until I was like, 18 :))) and they had made so many people dislike me and shit because of the dumbass stuff they said about me, so I had to leave tumblr for awhile. Anyway when I came back like, months later a bunch of people had come out of the woodwork who I don’t even remember to apologize to me and be like wow some shit went down and this person showed their true colors and everyone kinda realized they were toxic and a liar bc I guess they tried to do it to some other people. It was wild.

MUSE PREFERENCES:

Original or canon: Canon usually Favourite face: oh geez uuuh, i guess Rami Malek since I’ve used him A LOT, or Erin Richards. Least favorite face: idk man, I guess people who use FCs who are dead irl makes me uncomfy. It just feels weird to me :/ Or people who use White FCs for nonwhite characters, sometimes its up to interpretation though like a video game character or something. But when it’s super obvious a poc and they use a white fc it’s super weird for me. Multi or single: both, but I have trouble maintaining a multi.

WRITING PREFERENCES:

Plots or memes: plot usually, sometimes I don’t know what to do with memes or I don’t know what the other writer is comfortable with. I like to hash things out and make a game plan so I don’t screw something up. Best time to write:  I usually write at night, but sometimes I crank out replies during the day if I have time or if the muses suddenly strikes. Do you like your muse(s):   I love all my muses so much it hurts wowie How long (months/years?): uuuuuh, started in 6th grade so uuuuh, 11 or so years now?? Something like that, I feel like my writing peeked in high school but then again, if I look back at it, it was probably all cringy and dark bc I was a little edgelord.