#[ WOOO ADULTHOOD AND SHIT. ]

[esmeriandreamer]

Ik heb in 2022 2.844 keer iets geplaatst

Dat zijn 671 berichten meer dan 2021!

23 berichten gemaakt (1%)

2.821 berichten gereblogd (99%)

Blogs die ik het meest heb gereblogd:

@pumpkin-padparadscha

@cfo-of-antifa

@thegoliathbeetle

@tooquirkytolose

@sun-dari

Ik heb 699 van mijn berichten getagd in 2022

#cute - 16 berichten

#hfw spoilers - 12 berichten

#cat - 12 berichten

#funny - 11 berichten

#hfw - 8 berichten

#actuallyautistic - 7 berichten

#dreamling - 6 berichten

#cool shit - 5 berichten

#hzd - 5 berichten

#stray game - 5 berichten

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#*holding my characters* you get autism and you get add and you get autism and you get autism and you get adhd and you get autism and you g-

Mijn populairste berichten in 2022:

#5

Me: *on the phone, shaking and holding back tears behind my mask of Adulthood* I'd like to know where my package is please, so I can return it. I no longer need it.

Customer service: Oh, no problem! It seems to be lost in transport, would you like to cancel your order?

Me: *still holding up the mask* Yes please, that would be good.

*after the call*

Me:

HOLY SHIT I NEED A NAP-

2 notities - Geplaatst 12 april 2022

#4

Me: I go by they/them, yet I don't really mind being called a woman, and I don't mind being called she/her in Dutch, as "hen/hun" (Dutch for they/them) doesn't fit me.

Official survey: *only gives me the choice of man or woman when asked for gender*

Me: ...

2 notities - Geplaatst 6 oktober 2022

#3

Marije reviews and rambles about the 2022 game "Stray"

Okay, okay, so seeing this game is now out of the "newly released game" phase in my head, I feel like I am allowed to ramble and kinda word vomit about this game's story. Spoilers for the whole game under the cut.

WOOO BOY I WENT INTO THIS GAME BLIND THINKING I'D JUST BE A CUTE KITTY IN A FUTURISTIC CITY- I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE EXPERIENCING ALL THESE EMOTIONS ;7;

So first things first, this game is beautifully made and I adored all it's mechanics. I was sort of spoiled by the teasers that the Zurks were bad, and that first chase scene got my heart pumping so hard??? I smirked so much when I got the weapon and when all those little pink fuckers died when the city opened.

But it was the story itself and how it was told that blew my mind away. Especially since it's something that could very well happen, in a way. And it's not just in the dialogue, but also in your surroundings.

The Companion robots in Stray missed their humans so much that they started to copy their behaviour, gave themselves souls, and became as 'human' as they possibly could. They play together, protect each other, tell stories, create art, and play music, because that's what humans did. That's what humans do. They took their empty city and carried on their "Soft Ones" legacy by using it how they would, living their lives, creating new generations, and hoping for a future.

To me, if these robots didn't have screens (or speakers, or any other object) for faces, they would've been practically identical to a human, maybe even too identical. It's a good creative choice, don't get me wrong. I just love it so much. They wear clothes. They have styles. They have names. Clementine has tattoos, words and pictures painted or stickered on her metal arms, hands and fingers.

They have relationships. They call one another parent, child, sibling, and friend. There are elders, children, and adults, with their passions and dreams. They have personalities, and emotions, they made their own language based on those of humans.

And then there is a little cat, walking through it all. A member of a species that quite literally domesticated itself. A little orange cat who domesticates over the course of this story, shows love to these robots, and helps them.

The relationship between the cat and B12 is just so beautiful too. It's a relationship of love in some of its purest forms. The love of friends, the love of family, the love for the world itself. B12's sacrifice may have opened the city, but the cat's love for the human inside the little drone got them there in the control room in the first place.

"Stray" is, to me, a story of undying hope. It's a story of holding on, of the unyielding force that screams back at an uncaring universe that it will try again.

It is, at the core of it all, a story about love. And my god is it beautiful.

3 notities - Geplaatst 7 september 2022

#2

The chickens when I come into their little stable to feed them and collect their eggs: THIEF!! THIEF!! >:O THE ONE WHO BRINGS FOOD TAKES OUR CHILDREN IN RETURN!!

The chickens when I throw one of their eggs that cracked onto the ground: REJOICE!! THE ONE WHO BRINGS FOOD HAS GIVEN US A DELICACY TO FEAST UPON!!

3 notities - Geplaatst 9 juni 2022

Mijn #1-bericht van 2022

Just saw someone call AO3 a "cp-website" and I'm gonna just-

Like I know every time the Archive has a fundraiser some people will crawl out of the woodworks and spout bullcrap, but geez-

If you don't like AO3, fine, that's your opinion. But don't call it a "cp-website", nor demonize people who donate to their fundraiser, from which a large part of the funds goes to KEEPING THE SERVERS AND HAVING PROPER LEGAL PROTECTION.

You know one of the main reasons why AO3 was created? Because in the "old days", if someone didn't like the fact that you, I dunno, wrote some wholesome gay fic online, they could report it and you might just lose your whole fic without warning, because think of the children, right? And to really put icing on the cake, your account might be deleted too. 🙃

Or, like I experienced, it won't just be one or three reports that get your fic taken down. Critics United for example was a group of these ~lovely~ people who would go on people's fics and suggest (harass) the author on how to change their fic to be "improved upon" (aka sanitize the fuck out of it so there is no trace of what they saw as gross/bad/wrong/cringe/sinful/etc.). If they didn't manage to harass you into deleting, they'd just mass report you.

I got literal death and rape threats for writing a Spamano version of Beauty and the Beast, told I was a criminal and that my parents should've killed me in my crib.

ALL OVER A STUPID LITTLE SELFINDULGENT FIC.

They even went so far as to track my username down from Fanfiction.net to Wattpad, and only once I got it on AO3 was the story able stay up because they had no way of harassing or reporting me like they could before, because I could easily turn my comments off to "registered users only" or even to "moderate comments." and that scared them off.

This was in 2016 by the way. Not even a decade ago. Now I could even block people if I want on AO3, so it gets harder to harass me, even if I did care.

But like yes, I agree on the fact that fics with cp are allowed on the site is rather gross. I would never write nor read it. But you know what helps with this?

AO3 HAS THIS TAGGING SYSTEM IN WHICH YOU CAN TAG AND FILTER OUT THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE, SUCH AS FICS WITH THE UNDERAGE WARNING :D

And guess what? It works great! I never have to see fics with cp in it, because I filter my fics. And even if I see that I accidentally clicked on a fic like that? I click out of the page and move the fuck on.

People on AO3 can and have written the most repulsive shit known to man, but more often than not, it's tagged with big warnings in the description. I have read cringy and horrifying fics that still made me nauseous to think back on, that have changed how I look at certain characters. And guess what?

THEY STILL DESERVE TO EXIST AND BE READ BY OTHERS.

Besides, there is a very fine line as to what some people define concepts like cp. Like I define it as minors being forced/manipulated into sexual situations, while others might look at an adult anime character who looks like a little kid and say that they shouldn't be sexualized. We are both correct in our own digital space there.

I don't like "shota/lolita" nsfw stuff, others do, and so I am just letting those people be and I avoid that content. Same with scat, or watersports, or cnc. Avoid, click away, goodbye. I don't demand that all "they look young but they're actually an adult!" types of media should be banned, nor that people who enjoy (reading about) sex with bodily fluids should be publically shamed, or that people who consentually enjoy the dark fantasty of being forced should be treated like an actual rapist.

And that's really what this is about. Don't like it, don't read/look at it. This whole "but they are allowing xyz and I don't like that!!" argument is basically becoming the same right-wing argument as "but I see xyz as wrong/bad/a sin and therefor nobody should be allowed to enjoy it."

If AO3 were to be forced to ban one thing, like people dealing with their childhood SA by writing a fic about it, who is to say they won't be forced to ban something like CNC next? What about kink? Queerness? Because that is the road a lot of right-wing people want you antis to take.

It's a main reason AO3 has fundraisers. For the servers to stay up. For legal support when a company claims fanfic is bad. For times that those things might get more expensive to maintain.

And because AO3 is of the few websites that allow everyone, especially queer people, to make art and have that art be protected from those that wish to destroy anything they do not like. And yes, that protection includes protecting work made by "bad" people.

So chill, skip over that fic you don't want to see, don't donate to or interact with AO3 if you don't want to, and maybe touch some grass? That would be great.

Rant over uwu

591 notities - Geplaatst 15 oktober 2022

Bekijk je jaaroverzicht van 2022 →

[smolgreenboi]

Is/Was BB rich like it's implied in the comics? What about now that he's with the Titans? Does anyone know? Does he like to spend money? On what?

[ EDIT: apologies for terrible formatting, tumblr asks are apparently having a glitch that i didn’t know about when i posted this. i’ll clean it up once this whole garbage can is resolved! ]

----------------------------------

tl;dr answers: yep. yep. debatable to no. ehh kinda. gifts.

idk where he is comic-wise as far as new 52 & rebirth go ( because to be blunt, i don’t care lmao ), but from what i do pull out of the comics pre-reboot for my own writing gar being rich is something i include. that’s basically the only reason nicholas galtry wanted custody of him after he was rediscovered... he was gonna wait around until gar was old enough to inherit his parents’s estate and then kill him. because, you know. gotta get that sweet, sweet cheddar ( you can’t see me but i am rolling my eyes, using hella sarcastic tones and overall wanting to strangle an asshole with my stringy hands ). 

ANYWAY

the way i write gar, specifically, he IS rich but he definitely doesn’t flaunt it. this is partially due to not... really knowing what the hell to DO with all this money he just finds himself sitting on for no other reason than his parents are dead ( *bruce wayne voice* awesome ) and also i think it comes from wanting actual friendships instead of surface level bullshit. y’know? he’s already a freak by society standards, a bit socially inept due to years of being isolated and/or abused, and he knows it. i think he has a string of underlying suspicion with a lot of first impressions buuuuuut his eagerness to befriend people and desire to believe in the good of humanity rather than the bad overrides that string. flaunting or making it publicly known that he’s rich would just add to that because when you got money, suddenly everyone wants to be your friend and shit’s shallow and it’s probably exhausting and he just... no thanks. he’s already got a lot of internal hatred whispering in his ear and he doesn’t need another voice muttering “they only hang out with you for your cash”.

i would say that the doom patrol knows if not just because rita and steve are his parents/legal guardians, and larry and cliff would know through them. steve’s also richer than bruce wayne, apparently, so lmfao amazing. 

as far as his friends/the titans, i don’t think anyone KNOWS outright, but i would say those closest to him and who are observant might have suspicions ( or if you’re a bat-family member, you may have done some digging and found all the legal paperwork and whatever and do know outright but just don’t think it’s important to bring up in conversation, idk ). 

for the most part, i would say gar isn’t much of a spender. the animated series can fucking fight me on this ( miss me with that “my goal is maximum couch time” bull ), but i think he WOULD want to get himself a job and earn a modest living on his own whilst setting aside all that money for emergencies, donations, or a Treat Yo’ Self sort of day when you’re like “fuck, i just got through a garbage can of a week and life is short, i’m buying that video game i’ve been staring at for the past two months”. i know that he’s cool with not being ‘normal’ and that being weird is something he’s not only accepted but is very proud of, but i also think he would want SOME sense of normality when it comes to just... day to day living, you know? having a day job, having a little apartment or something, and earning his own money would provide some of that.

( unrelated: i know gar wants to be an actor in the comics and i know/understand/respect why that’s important to him but... i’m also super sick and tired of shapeshifting being synonymous with acting as a profession, so i don’t really write him with having any desire to be an actor; instead i write him working at various animal sanctuaries NOT due to his powers but due to animals providing him a source of comfort and wanting to give back to them/teach other people about conservation and welfare and all that jazz )

when gar DOES spend money for the sake of spending money, it’s usually on friends. HEY, you guys want pizza? it’s on me! (uuuh don’t ask how or whyyyy i just uuuh--foUND THIS random $20 in the park after Dr. Light knocked me into a bush! weird, huh??). HEY, VIC, it’s your birthday, check this COOL NEW GADGET I GOT YOU (i’ve been totally saving... stuff for MONTHS, yeah, definitely didn’t just waltz into the store and grab it because i saw it and immediately thought of you or anything??). yo, raven, LOOK, i found that third book in that series you’ve been reading, you want it???

... this answer has gotten stupid long and i need to go get dell some ingredients for her dinners this week so i’mma end it here BUT IF I NEED TO ELABORATE ON ANYTHING, LEMMIE KNOW?? thank c: 

[oysterie]

jeff rosenstock was able to tap into every emotion ive ever felt wrt stuff when he wrote im serious im sorry

[muggycuphead]

weird flex but ok i guess pt.27

26

War...Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ (and dark themed) designs I made while having funky fever bc o h m y g o d do I get a little crazier every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – AU fanconcept sketches [XXIV]

EDIT 26/10/2023: Updated the drawing with a rescanned, more clean version

Fun fact, I showed this to my grandma the other, and kid you not, she ended up finding way more figures than what's seen here, from a dog to a bird, passing by a bunch of faces. It was awesome, truly a unique experience for sure

1.-Dadaist Lezor

Remember lizard kid from the comic ver? Yeah this is him in adulthood, shit's really hit the fan on his behalf

So, for context: He's a member of the dada movement, which, for the uninformed, was an "anti-art" movement from around the 1900 (i think?) whose objective was to protest against the academy's concept of what art could and could not be -basically mockery towards the concept of 'good' esthetics back then art-wise. I heard my art history teacher talk about it, and even though it came off as somewhat uneasy, with the time I caught some interest on the concept behind it, and well...here it is

My purpose on the making of his design was to do something senseless, patternless and basically totally against anything that could be considered 'fashionable', hence why he got so much stuff onto him and most of which doesn't match up with each other.

Heck, even his hair is a mess

Just look at it

it makes no mfing sense

Had a lot of fun doing him and am proud of the result tho, wish my scanner wasn't so trash so you could see the design better than what's displayed here

Not an easy boy to sprite out though, specially with that tail covered with a shit ton of stuff-

2.- Dadaist Brick

Oh shoot, satyr kid got onto the stuff too

Wanted to try again, couldn't do it as blowed as the first one though

I still think it looks sick

3.-Lezor icon

He mad

4.-Brick icon

Also mad

5.-Small Lezor

why you yelling-

6.-Calm Steinkion

Woo, look at that, it's the science shroom guy from SD III

Callbacks ftw

7.-The bird duo

oh no

i forgot their names help-

8.-Feral Snakeye

okay-

9.-BF but something's not alright

Smells like something's rotting

...won't make assumptions wooo-

10.-Cute Puppil

I know he's an abomination in a way

But he's a cute abomination still, isn't he?

11.-Rings

Tried to do Q-zin and Brit's proposal rings, but didn't get through with it :(

12.-DADA!

Graffiti test

13.-Bottle

Bottle

14.-Eye earring

Momzst jewelry be like

15.- ZomBoyFlower

Concept crossover woo

He looks nasty though-

28

[borntofishforcedtowork]

monthly holy fuck why am i so pathetic wall of text rant

everyday i realize more and more how much of an absolute pathetic little worm i am. i have maybe 1 irl friend? it's weird. i havent hung out with anyone outside school since 2019 (and not because of covid i just have 0 people who want to do anything) ive been spending years spending all my free time in my basement consuming media trying and failing to learn things and trying and failing to make things. then i see people from my school and everyone actually like. having fun and doing things. and yeah ok what you see isnt whats real but i dont care if they arent having as much fun as it looks, i just want to talk to someone and have someone i know i can call a friend irl. my standards are low i dont need to find my soulmate i just want someone who i can listen to and they will listen to me in return and maybe we would take walks and eat together sometimes. the only people who i think actually enjoy my presence are people who are obligated to be nice/tolerate me (family/teachers) so i don't know if they're just tolerating me or whatever the hell. i think the reason i like war movies about comradery so much is because i like the history first of all but most importantly the COMRADERIE!! that i lack. i just found out that these four guys all of which i know from somewhere (one i was acquaintances with in 9th grade, another on the bus with me who used to chat with me a lot but a lot less now its mostly just good morning good night, another who was in my computer science class this year, another who is a friend of the 1 person who is my sort of irl friend) and also my neighbour showed up in one of the episodes?? shes nice and all. i wish i could be like that tbh, i dont really know how to interact with other peole and i try to be nice but the only way i really know to get people to like me is to do homework for them or make things for them, and when i try to talk to them i'm the most awkward autistic motherfucker youve ever seen, i think being in online school for like a year and 3/4ths messed me up lol, even before that i wasnt great at socializing but now im like. wooo. im kind of tired of being the idiot loser who spends every lunch period in the stairwell reading library books and only has people talk to me in class, when they can use me for my notes and homework. and yknow what? in a way i like it. i like having 0 social capital. i can say outlandish shit in class and argue and whatever and i lose nothing because there was nothing to lose before. two days ago i was arguing with this cryptobro in my tech class and was i worried about fucking any relationships up? no, i have none! i am so free. i can walk whatever direction i want and go wherever without worrying about what another person wants. but still, i feel like im missing out on something so fundimental with how im alone so much. at home, at school, most of the time i'm completely by myself. and right now i'm kind of tired of being lonely. i like being alone, don't get me wrong. i just wish that maybe once every week or two i had someone to have food with and talk about nothing and maybe just share facts or tidbits about things we like. i don't know man. i know very well none of this is going to change, everyone at my school already has friend groups they're in and honestly the people in my town, most of them are just not really my kind of people, no similar interests and we just don't really jive; not in a we hate each other way, just a we belong in different social groups way. i can;t wait to look back on my teenage years and remember spending every lunch in the stairs reading by myself and going home to do more shit by myself with absolutely nobody to remember funny stories with or reminisce. nothin. and even in adulthood it'll be the same. i've heard people talk about how hard it is to make friends as an adult and tbh if i've already had issues socializing for my whole life i'm just destined to die alone.

anyway gn sleep well