#[ Merry Christmas to all and all a Goodnight! ]

[jelzorz]

205.

Midwinter is different in Katolis. They call it Yule here, and Rayla's done a couple on this side of the border now that the yearly traditions aren't such a surprise. Skating is weird (she's been using her blades pretty deftly for years now and she's never once thought about strapping them to her feet but okay) and the food is... not for her (she and Ezran stick to salads while the others dig into the boar Soren and Corvus had brought back from a hunt) but the sentiment is the same. It's friends and family gathered around the hearth to celebrate, to talk and laugh and share stories of the year gone by.

It's supposed to be a happy time. A time of peace. Of rest. Of relief.

Instead, Rayla is wringing her hands in the hall while the others gather by the fire, uncertainty roiling in her gut.

It's been three years since the Archdragons defeated Aaravos. In four more, he will return, and she and Callum had promised to keep everything on hold until then; to wait until the danger had passed before they commit to the life they know they both want, and yet...

She swallows. She breathes. She clenches her fists and focuses on the sensation of her nails in her palms to keep herself from throwing up.

"You haven't told him yet."

"No, I haven't told him yet," she snaps, waving Runaan off with an irritated huff. "I haven't told anyone yet.You shouldn't even know."

"I can't help that I know you well, Rayla." Runaan smirks a little at that. "You remind me of your mother."

"Oh, please, like this is even a little bit the same."

"She had concerns," he says. "That she wasn't ready. That Lain wasn't."

"They just had to go back to work," snaps Rayla. "We have a time limit. Four years, Runaan. Four before the world'll end again. That's not a life! That's barely even a childhood! How could we possibly—"

"You're overreacting."

"Overreacting?" Rayla scowls and rounds on her father, hackles raised, jaw clenched, teeth sore from the way she's been grinding them for days. "Aaravos isn't done, Runaan! He'll be back! What if we're not ready then? What if we can't stop him? What if—"

"What if you do?"

"What—I—"

Runaan holds her stare, his face unnervingly unworried. "What if you do defeat him? What if it's all okay after all? Will you sit around and put something like this off because you're afraid of the next thing?"

"There won't be a next thing—"

"You don't know that."

"Well—you don't know that we'll defeat him either."

"And you don't know that you won't."

Rayla clamps her mouth shut. Runaan twitches the corner of his lips.

"There's a lot of uncertainty right now, Rayla," he says gently, "but something that is certain is that Callum loves you. There's no doubt about that. And he will not resent you for bringing his child into this world."

Rayla grimaces. "You're not worried even a little?"

"I will worry when I need to. There's no point in worrying twice."

Rayla breathes again: one slow steady breath in, one rush of an exhale out. "You've been hanging out with Gren."

Runaan laughs at that. "Yes, I remember him. Far too sunny a human but surprisingly good company these days. Go on, little blade. Your beloved deserves to know."

He pushes Rayla into the room and Callum looks up at once, his eyes bright and pleased to see her join them at last. Rayla takes another breath. And then another. And one more after that.

There's no point in worrying twice, she tells herself.

(And, in any case, Callum is thrilled).

[solarsyrup]

remember that like "hear me out" mini-meme from a bit back? about the relative levels of horniness people would admit to vis-a-vis nonhuman character designs? anyway vicar amelia would be mine. goodnight.

[dnangelic]

2 am more like time 2 go 2 bed

[b1mbodoll]

i Hate being sick

[regscupid]

i’m kissing everyone who left a message on my tree

[wandasaura]

i’m so sleepy!

[strangedisciple]

goodnight 👍👍👍

[size-two-shrimp]

Hey y'all, just so all of my fic readers are aware: I've kinda been losing motivation writing wise, I'm just not getting as much enjoyment (read: engagement) out of it and it's just not as worth it anymore to me. I'm still going to be writing, there's still things I want to work on, but probably not as frequently as I had been. Sorry about that

[spiderwarden]

i'm cold and my bed is calling me back but as I go just imagine this.

Minthara getting home in modern from a long day, it's 2am, she undoes the lady tie, pulling the bun on her head a little loose, as she starts to unbutton the front of her shirt. She turns to the counter and picks up a wine bottle and the filled wine glass in the other hand as she makes her way the living room. She HUFFS as she sits on the couch, knees spread to make room for the BDE, as she sips the wine from the glass. Leans forward to set the bottle on the glass table, and plucks the remote. Turns on the TV. What is she watching? Comedies. The Office maybe, something stupid. Maybe even those adultish cartoons like Family Guy, King of the Hill, Bob's Burger, etc. She has a tier list of favorite comedies, a top 20, where the top 5 are the go to and the other 15 are in case the first 5 are unavailable. She is not laughing, but every now and again there is a chuckle and a short smile as she drinks from the glass balanced on her knee.

[happilychaengs]

i have literally slept half the day away and i am concerned

[voxslays]

GIFT-GIVING

Featuring >>> Alastor x Reader; In which, the reader gifts Alastor a simple thirties era radio—a radio which ends up meaning more than they could ever imagine.

It was December, your favorite month of the year. You didn’t have a specific reason why, you just enjoyed all of it. All the snow and chilly winter air, the feeling of being bundled up by a fire, etc. The hotel was decorated in the finest Christmas decor, and only a few days ago you set up the tree with Lucifer. Alastor smirks softly at the memory of the tree-trimming, his voice carrying a faint hint of amusement. “You know,” He stands up slowly. “I must say,” Al slowly moves closer to you. “December really becomes you.”

You give him a confused look. “What do you mean by that?” You ask gently. Alastor chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling with a mischievous glint. “The way your cheeks get rosy in the cold, the way your eyes light up when you look at the Christmas decorations...” His expression softens slightly. “December just suits you.” You make a little ‘aww’ sound. “Well thank you.” Your cheeks are quickly covered in a dusty, rosy pink blush. “Oh!” You exclaim, pulling a medium-sized box from under the Christmas tree, “Before I forget, here’s your Christmas present.” You hand the heavy box to him. ​​His eyes widen slightly, genuinely touched by this small gesture. "For...me?" He takes the box carefully, a rare display of vulnerability crossing his features. "You didn't have to..." He slowly unwraps the present, taking care not to tear the purple wrapping paper. Inside is a brand new ‘RCA Victor’ Emerson radio, one that was built in the thirties. You had heard that Charlie had accidentally broken Alastor’s ‘one of a kind’ vintage radio. And what better way to surprise your friend than to give him his favorite thing in the entire helluaverse? “So what do you think?” You ask sweetly, before noticing he is staring into space at the mahogany radio. “Alastor?”

His expression is unreadable, staring at the radio with an intensity that makes you uneasy. After what feels like an eternity, he looks up at you, his eyes glistening with an unspoken emotion. "Where did you find this?" His voice is barely above a whisper. The usual surrounding radio static is completely gone, his voice no longer sounding like a vintage radio. His signature smile is completely gone. “I pulled some strings.” He picks up the radio carefully, turning it over in his hands. He runs his fingers along the mahogany wood, tracing the ‘RCA’ logo. "You can't be serious...this is…”

He trails off, his mind racing. His hands tremble slightly as he holds the radio "How...how did you know about this exact model? This was…" His smile returns, but it's different—a softer, more genuine one that you don’t think anyone (besides maybe his mother), has ever seen. "This was my very first radio..." You simply smile back at him, placing your hand on top of his. He flinches back momentarily, before sinking into the touch. He looks down at your hand on top of his, his heart racing. He's never been one for physical affection, but there's something about your touch that feels...right.

He gently intertwines his fingers with yours, his thumb brushing against your skin. "Thank you.” He gently sets down the bulky thirties era radio. “Of course.” You whisper gently. “Merry Christmas eve.” His other hand moves to gently cup your cheek, his gloved fingers brushing against your skin. "Merry Christmas Eve, my dear.” You slowly pull away from his grasp, not used to Alastor’s touch. “We should probably get to bed. Charlie will have us up at the crack of dawn.” You jest playfully. He chuckles softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You're probably right..."He slowly gets up, but pauses, turning back to face you. “Goodnight.”

It was six o’ clock in the morning, and just as you had predicted the night before, Charlie was knocking on your door. “Wake up! It’s Christmas!” She squeals happily. It was strange, and you knew it must be for the others as well. Most of the sinners in this hotel haven’t celebrated Christmas in a long time, and some never at all. Yet, for Charlie’s sake, you all sleepily marched down into the hotel lobby—stopping to get the necessary morning coffee and hot cocoa—and sitting by the Christmas tree. Alastor is the last one out of the kitchen, holding his infamous ‘Oh Deer’ mug in his hand as he takes a seat on the couch next to you.

“Morning.” You yawn. He sits down next to you with a soft sigh, sipping his coffee. "Morning..." He's still clearly moved by your Christmas gift from yesterday, and there's a gentle smile playing on his lips. He leans over slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. You lean in expectantly. “Yeah…?” Alastor’s breath is warm against your ear as he whispers. "Thank you again for the radio. It's perfect." He pulls back slightly, looking at you with genuine warmth in his eyes. “I’m glad.” You both share a warm smile. "Did you sleep well?" Alastor asks, before taking another sip of his coffee. “Fine.” You sigh, clearly tired.

“What about you?” ​​Al smirks slightly at your question, leaning back against the couch. "As well as can be expected, I suppose." He glances around the room, taking in the sight of the other demons slowly starting to open their gifts. So far, Niffty unwrapped a rare bug kit, and Husk a bottle of cheap brown ale. You look over to Alastor one last time before joining the others. “Merry Christmas.” You say softly, your voice as sweet as sugar. His heart skips a beat at your words—He’s never celebrated a christmas with such a large amount of people before, since it was usually just him and his mother before she died—and your sincere enthusiasm does something to his usually icy demon heart. He leans in close again, this time his lips almost brushing against your ear. "Merry Christmas, my dear."

[javierpena-inatacvest]

It's Never Too Late Masterlist

Summary: You are an elementary school teacher who just moved to Texas for a fresh start when you meet a very handsome man from the Laredo Sheriff's Department coming to give your class a presentation.

After your co-workers pull some strings for you to meet again, you and Javier Peña find yourselves falling head over heels for each other.

Story takes place post Narcos Season 3 in Laredo, Texas, starting May 1997.

Paring: Javier Peña x OFC (Reader is an elementary school teacher whose nickname is Osita, no use of y/n)

Warnings: SMUT (18+ chapters containing marked with * and each chapter will also have its own warnings), language, fluff, romantic comedy, reader has physical descriptions, Javi being so soft and getting all the love and affection he deserves, you two being the biggest weirdos so in love

Status: Ongoing

Let me know if you want to be added to a tag list for new chapters as they come out! :)

Main Story:

Chapter 1: I D.A.R.E. You

Chapter 2: What's Cookin', Good Lookin'?

Chapter 3: I Wanna Be With You Everywhere*

Chapter 4: Add You To My List*

Chapter 5: You're The One That I Want*

Chapter 6: Dinosaurs, Dates and Diners, Oh My!*

Chapter 7: School's Out for Summer*

Chapter 8: My Favorite Cowboy*

Chapter 8.5: 007- Peña, Agent Peña*

Chapter 9: I Promise*

Chapter 10: Happy Birthday, Javi*

Pt. 1*

Pt. 2*

Chapter 11: Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago *

Chapter 12: I Love You. I Know. *

Chapter 13: There's No Place Like Home*

Chapter 14: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas*

Chapter 15: She Shoots, She Scores*

Chapter 16: The Lone Star State*

Chapter 17: No Ifs, Ands, Or Butts*

Chapter 18: Hole in None*

Chapter 19: Good Luck, and Goodnight*

Chapter 20: I Do

Pt. 1*

Pt. 2*

Chapter 21: Paradise* (New 11/7!)

Spin-Off Series:

Forever and Always*: Slices of life following the Peña family after their first child

One Shots (In chronological order of the main storyline):

Movie Night*

Dirty Laundry*

Again*

You're My Home*

Not Yet*

Happy Valentine's Day, Javier Peña*

The Mouse and the Motorcycle

You Make Life Worth It

Take Me Home

Plaid Pajama Morning

Agent Peña*

Every Inch*

Soup for Breakfast

Whatever My Wife Wants*

Fever*

His*

Oh, Baby

Insatiable*

Peanut Butter and Pickles

Sail Away

You Make Lovin' Fun*

Everybody Knows That I'm a Good Girl, Officer*

Asks/Headcannons:

Javi and Osita before work

Javi's DEA Jacket

Javi's Tac Vest

Javi and Osita when they argue

Javi being distractingly cute

Javi when he's sick

Javi helping with Osita's pregnancy cravings

Osita when she's pregnant

Osita after a bad day at work

Javi coming home after work to his kids

Javi and Osita deciding how many kids they want

Javi and his daughters at the Eras Tour

Extras:

NSFW Alphabet- Javi and Osita*

1K Followers Celebration Asks and Answers

Never Too Late Playlist

Mood board

Timeline of NTL

[anisangeldust]

Santa, Baby ❆𝜗𝜚

Summary: After being stumped on a gift for your boyfriend, Jedi knight Anakin Skywalker, you settle on a safe favorite of his.

Pairing: dilf!Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

Warnings: Implied age gap (Anakin is 35 and reader is 18), lap dance, smut, oral (m receiving), mating press, mentions of breeding, smutty descriptions !!

A/N: Happy holidays! All the love and magic for all of you! May you all have the bestest day ꨄ

Santa baby..

Slip a sable under the tree, for me

Been an awful good girl,

Santa baby..

What do you get for a man that has everything?

7 year olds are easy to shop for, Leia was head over heels for he giant wookie stuffed toy, and Luke wouldn’t shut up about the ‘training saber’ he unwrapped that morning, children were easy to please, but a man?

What did you get someone who was almost double your age? A watch? He didn’t need that, it was useless for how often he changed planets with different time zones. Cologne? He had that, new parts for tinkering? He had those too, a new glove for his prosthetic hand? That was too cheap.

When you decided to just ask what he wanted, despite wanting it to be a surprise and feeling a touch of shame that you didn’t know your boyfriend well enough, the conversation went as good as you’d expect:

“I don’t want anything babe” his buttery voice insisted, strong hands rubbing your back and his baby blues full of warmth.

You sighed “all couples say they don’t want anything, I’m getting you a gift. Tell me what you want.” You insisted, kissing his cheek.

Anakin let out a deep, hearty chuckle. “I have you, I have the little ones, they love you like you’re their mother, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I don’t need a gift.” He reiterated, his hand moving from your back to your rear, playfully squeezing.

That comment: “I have you, I have everything I’ve ever wanted” gave you an idea, you’d be his present. If he didn’t want anything new, perhaps something revamped would be the move?

It wasn’t difficult to get Luke and Leia asleep, they had crashed hard from the inane amount of sugar they ingested. After gently forehead kisses to each of them, and soft goodnights, you closeted their door and went to your bedroom you shared with Anakin.

“Merry Christmas Ani..” you kiss him gently and he holds you gently while kissing you back

“Merry Christmas baby girl” he coos and rubs his hands up your sides, a lustful look drinking behind the cobalt clouds of his eyes.

You giggle gently, pulling away. “I have a gift for you..” you murmur and climb off his lap, gesturing to a Cody chair by your bed “sit..” you smile.

Anakins brows shoot up “oh? I thought I said no gifts?” He teases but complies, siting down and looking at you.

“It’s not completely a gift.. more a.. zhuzh..” you wink and disappear into the bathroom.

Only a few minutes later do you emerge, flipping on a speaker to the familiar tune “Santa, baby” and sexily strutting over to your sitting boyfriend, clad in red lingerie and a Santa hat, complete with red lipstick and red stockings.

Anakin lets out a low, wolf whistle “whewww baby. What is this?” He leans back and pats his lap. Once you sit down on his thigh he tries to hold your waist, only for you to swat his hand away and pin his wrists behind him. Though he could easily get out, he chose to play along and refrain from laying his hands on you.

“Shh.. let me give you a show..” you coo and arch your back, standing up and wiggling your chest in his face. Allowing the white trim to brush his nose before you step back and squat down, slowly lifting up with your hands on his knees, wiggling your hips again.

The familiar song faded out as you climbed on your knees infront of him. Nuzzling one of this thighs and kissing his pants “you can touch now..” you purr gently. He takes no time for hesitation, immediately yanking off the pure hat and tangling his hands in your hair.

“Mmmhh.. baby..” he groans and spreads his legs allowing you to pull off his pants, he watches the fabric slide off to reveal the hard bulge in his boxers “you’re so fucking beautiful..” he groans and pulls you forward to his crotch.

Your lips meet the hardness of his bulge and you kiss it, feeling it twitch and grow under your lips. Slipping your fingers under the elastic of his boxers and slipping them down, his hard cock springing free of its cloth confines. The tip leaking pearl and standing stiff. Trimmed pubes leading to heavy balls and upwards was his toned abdomen.

“Is this all for me?” You tease and suck lightly on his baby pink tip. He tried to pull you down and you resist, moving instead down his shaft to suckle on his aching sack, the motion making him growl and shake.

“Fuck yes.. all for you baby girl, always for you..” he grunts then tangles his hands in your hair, tugging on your scalp. “Gods.. fuck me.. always so good” he rolls his eyes back. The groans louder as you finally take him into your mouth, letting your slobber lube your hand so you can pump what you can’t take. Your tongue traces the bulging vein Yang runs under his cock head, swirling it and catching all his leaking pre before going back down.

“Mmpohh…” he tenses “fuck fuck fuck.. I’m.. ohhmm..” he takes control and face fucks you, hips lifting up to meet your face, hands tangled in your hair, he was enjoying this more than any blowjob he’d ever been given. There was a moment of chocked silence as Anakin came down your throat, beads of sweat running down to his eyebrows, eyes pinched close and brows furrowed.

As soon as he came down from that high, you made eye contact and swallowed his whole load, letting the little bit that dripped from your mouth to be scooped up by your tongue. “Merry Christmas daddy..” you tease and he groans “get the fuck over here” he growls and stands up, pulling you up and throwing you on the bed.

Anakin kisses up your thighs and nips at the conjunction between your thighs and hips “fuck me babygirl..” he coos “so good with the little ones, makes me wanna give you one of our own” he growls before ripping off your panties with his teeth, tearing the delicate lace.

“Oh! Mm.. please.. give me a baby.. make me full..” you spread your legs, allowing him to see the wetness of your cunt. You pull your knees to your chest and your puffy, pink clit pops out from between your glistening folds.

Your boyfriend tugs his cock a few times, using the thumb on his other hands to tease your sensitive bud “I’ll give you a fucking baby.. I’ll pump you full of my cum..” he promises as he folds you in half and bullies his cock into your cunt “I’ll make you so full your forget what it’s like to be.. empty..” he grunts and starts to pump his thick, heavy cock into your puffy pussy.

“Yes! Yes! Fuck!” You groan and bite your finger, trying to refrain from waking up Luke and Leia. Each thrust leaves a sticky squelch behind, the sound and smell of your combined arousal is like Anakins personal heroin, each jiggle of your tits, every choked sob that leaves your mouth, it’s all Anakin will ever need.

“Cum, fucking cream all over my cock, you’re already clenching me so good.. let me feel you cum” he demands and slaps your folds a few times. Pinching your clit ever so slightly.

You listen almost instantly, your back arching and a loud whimper escaping your throat, cunt fluttering around his invasive manhood. Anakin isn’t far behind, shorting his hot and sticky load into your womb, making sure to fuck it against your cervix, making sure to take advantage of your little fertile body.

As soon as the sexual haze lifts off the room, Anakin turned back into your loving and doting boyfriend. “Oh baby.. did I hurt you?” He lifts you up and lays you on his chest “that was so good, you did so good..” he coos gently and you nuzzle him “mhm.. I’m okay.. ‘m perfect..” you assure him.

He lets out a comforting sigh and nods “so perfect.. my perfect girl.. my most wonderful Christmas present..” he kisses you softly “Merry Christmas doll..”

You lean into it “Merry Christmas, daddy.”

[youleftmenochoicebut]

SANTA BABY — remus lupin.

SUMMARY. — it’s your second christmas with your baby girl and Remus dresses up as santa.

PAIRING. — dad!remus lupin x mom!reader

WARNINGS. — fluff, some suggestiveness at the end (because im kinda scared to write smut yet)

A/N. — merry christmas to those who celebrate!

“mommy, where’s dada?” your two and a half year old asks, her small body wrapped around your middle like a koala bear, as you sit in front of the fireplace. it’s 9pm, already past Brielle’s bedtime, but you’re letting her stay up late tonight. it’s christmas eve after all. your friends have left already, the kitchen’s been cleaned and Brielle’s been more than excited to finally get her presents.

“he’s getting more wood for the fire, bug.” the lie slips past your lips flawlessly, your fingers combing through your toddler’s hair, and the fact that it’s the exact same color and texture as Remus’ still stuns you to this day. the truth is you decided it would be a fun idea for Remus to dress up as Santa Claus and give your baby girl her gifts that way. although the more you think about it now, the more hesitant you are.

Brielle just nods, nuzzling her head into the crook of neck, and you sigh contently. not much time passes before you hear the backdoor bang, the loud stomping getting closer, and Remus’ figure appears in the doorway. for how tall he is, being almost 6’5, he’s too skinny (at least that’s what you always tell him), so he has to fill out the Santa costume with some pillows for the belly to look big and round. you chuckle when you notice him, nudging Brielle softly.

“ho, ho, ho!” Remus exclaims, making his voice intentionally lower and he pats his fake stomach, coming closer. “i’ve come to see if there are any good kids here, in this fine house?”

Brielle giggles, her eyes shining brighter when she slides off your lap and skips over to him, tugging at his pant leg. “daddy silly!” she shrieks sweetly, jumping in place as she waits for Remus to lean down to her level. “up, dada!”

“well, i don’t know where your dad is, kiddo, i’m here to bring you your presents!” he keeps up his act like a professional, the smile on your face widens, and you can see a hint of confusion on your girl’s face.

“hmm… i like presents!” Brielle smiles, showing off her teeth, and tries to pull Remus over to the christmas tree. “mama, look! it’s Santa!”

“oh, wow, Brie. no way.” you gasp, chuckling along with your toddler’s enthusiasm, and you watch the scene unfold.

Brielle and Remus kneel down by the christmas tree and your husband reaches for the velvety santa’s sack, and pulls out a couple of neatly packed boxes. he puts them on display, in a row, in front of your baby girl who excitedly waves her hands. she wastes no time reaching for the first package, eagerly ripping the wrapping paper off and squealing happily at what she sees. it’s a toddler sized broomstick, the exact same as Harry’s just smaller, because she’s been wanting that ever since she saw him fly around in the summer. with James’ close assistance, if Lily ever asks, because of course a six year old can’t fly around on a broomstick on his own.

it doesn’t take much time before Brielle starts rubbing her eyes, the events of today catching up to her, and you know you have to step in. you scoop her up in your arms, winking at Remus with a small smile, and as she clings to you, you slowly go upstairs. she’s started sleeping in her own room just a few months back, when you decided she was big enough to have her bed in the separate room on the other side of the corridor, and she still sometimes sleeps with you. you can’t help it, you just love having your baby girl close to you.

this night though, you go straight to her bedroom, swiftly changing her into her red christmasy pajamas. you settle her down in her princess bed, pulling the sheets up to her chin, and you step away, pretty sure she’s already asleep. you’re almost at the door when you hear a soft voice call out to you.

“mama, goodnight kiss.” Brielle whispers, her eyes remaining closed as she snuggles up to her favorite dog plushie (it’s the one Sirius gave you guys when she was born). you smile, and quickly rush over, leaning in to plant a kiss on her forehead, nose, then both cheeks.

“goodnight, bug.” you murmur, and leave the room, a yawn escaping your lips as you walk downstairs to find Remus lounging on the couch, still in the Santa costume.

“well, hello there, Mr. Claus.” you say playfully, slumping down next to him, and your eyes are set on his face, covered mostly by the long fake beard. “i haven’t gotten my presents tonight.” your lips pouting as you reach out, putting your hand against his chest.

“that’s because you’ve been a very bad girl this year, dovey.” Remus whispers, his large hands grasping at your hip and with completely zero trouble he swooshes you into his lap, making you straddle him. you rest your arms on his torso, in a way to hold up as well, and you scoff.

“hey! i thought Santa Claus was supposed to be nice ‘n all.” you mumble, hitting his shoulder as you feel him squeeze his hands on your bum. you raise your eyebrows at him, and as much tired as he seems, you can see the hunger in his eyes.

“then i guess i have to take this off, cause i don’t plan on being nice to you tonight.” his voice is raspy and it makes a shiver run down your spine, and you throw your head back when he puts his lips on your neck.

“no, no, no. the costume stays on.” you grunt, and the laugh that escapes him is so heartful is wrecks his body, so you glance down at him with a serious expression. “oh, i’m not kidding.”

without responding, his hands wander back up, then down, this time deeping into your pants, and with one swift movement he tears your panties apart and off of you. you glare at him, shaking your head, and you shift at the feeling of the slightly itching material of your pants against your bare womanhood.

“i liked those ones-“ your complain is cut off by his lips pushing against yours forcefully, his tongue delving into your mouth. after you pull away, a sting of saliva connects your lips to his, and you blink hazily.

“Santa’s gonna buy you new ones.” he breathes out, a smirk appearing on his face before he easily flips you over onto your back, hovering over you. “actually, a lot of new ones.”

[gyubakeries]

❆ 𝐠𝐲𝐮𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 : 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐬! ❆ | 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐮 - 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 <𝟑

❆ 𝑑𝑎𝑦 13: christmas morning | l.c

a/n: last fic of the series!! i hope you guys liked all the installments <3 thank you for everyone who read the fics!! love you guys, and merry christmas to all who celebrate! i hope you had a great year, and i wish for the next year to be kind to all of you as well <3 last fic, hope you enjoy :)

p.s. i dont think its that easy to get an hermes birkin, BUT WE WILL PRETEND THAT IT IS. its been literally my dream to get one, so i might as well experience it through my writing LMAO

word count: 1.3k contents: chan x fem!reader , established relationship , idol bf!chan , cuddles , domestic fluff , gift exchanging , chan is energetic , reader is sleep deprived , reader gets their dream birkin bag (projecting onto reader big time)

it's christmas eve and you're going to bed alone.

it's not like you're feeling sad about it. you know chan is holed up in the practice room, practicing choreographies over and over again till he satisfies the perfectionist in him, which is why you're okay with the selfie chan sends you as a goodnight.

you've been dating him for five years, and you've been through a lot of long distance with your boyfriend to easily overcome the feeling of sleeping alone in the cold bed.

plus, you're tired to the bone with how much work your boss had dumped on you over the last three weeks, so sleep comes to you easily.

—

you stir awake when cold hands press into the bare skin of your waist from where your sleep shirt had ridden up.

"chan, cold," you mutter under your breath, turning around to face your boyfriend, who had just failed at his attempt to slip into bed without disturbing you.

"sorry for waking you up," he whispers, smoothing your shirt down so that he can hold you without bothering you with his cold hands.

"'s alright," you yawn. "i'm a light sleeper. what's the time?"

"3:15," comes chan's soft voice, and with the way the warmth radiating from his body wraps you up in a soft embrace, you already find yourself dozing off again.

"merry christmas, baby," chan smiles against your skin. you press a kiss to his neck, the closest part of him that you can reach, and whisper a, "merry christmas, channie," before you're falling back asleep.

—

waking up in the morning is not nearly as soft and quiet as the night before. primarily because chan was shaking you awake, yelling in your ear to get you to wake up.

"i thought you said you were a light sleeper!" chan complains when you smack his hands away.

"well it was a lie!" you grumble, turning to your side to try and escape chan's antics. "let me sleep. i'm so tired."

"oh," chan's voice immediately goes soft. "was it your boss again? god, i wish i could just tell him to go screw himself-"

"how about you try saying that to seungcheol's face first?" you tease him. "if you think you can't face your leader, my boss is ten times worse."

chan blinks.

"okay, i may send him an e-mail then," he huffs. "but babe, it's christmas morning. let's at least do the gift exchange and then we can sleep in, hm?"

you sigh at your boyfriend pulling his best puppy eyes, complete with the pout, and you give in easily.

"alright, let's go."

"i love you!" chan beams with joy. he all but drags you off the bed and bundles you up in his hoodie, knowing how cold you got in the mornings. then he pulls you in for a tight hug, kissing the top of your head softly.

"merry christmas, my love."

"merry christmas, chan."

—

"okay, whose present do you wanna start with first?" you ask chan. you're sat on the living room floor, gift boxes strewn around you.

"let me open what your family got me, and then you can open what my family got you," chan suggests, and you agree. he then adds on, "the hyungs got you a gift too, so you can do that next."

the two gift boxes you got for each other lie in the corner, the both of you eyeing them silently, wondering if the other will like their gift.

"okay! me first!" chan announces excitedly. you hand him the delicately wrapped box your mother had dropped off at your house a few weeks prior to christmas for chan.

he opens up the wrapping gently, and gasps when he sees what's inside. curious to see what the gift was, you peek at the box in his lap, and you find a bottle of expensive whisky inside.

"i can't believe my family supports your alcholic tedencies," you roll your eyes affectionately, and chan gives you the look of a wounded puppy.

you laugh at chan's theatrics and reach for the gift his family sent for you. you unwrap the gift, and you're moved by this inexplicable warmth that fills you as soon as the wrapping paper is gone.

the gift is a framed photo of you, chan, his parents and brother, standing together at chan's brother's wedding. it was the day chan's mother had looked at you with tears in her eyes and said, "you make my son so happy, y/n. i hope you stay in his life for a long time."

along with the photo, there's also a perfume that you had mentioned in passing on one of the many dinners you've had with chan's parents.

"this perfume is so expensive," you gasp. "they really shouldn't have-"

"y/n, they're my parents," chan laughs. "of course they're extra. where do you think i get it from?"

"fair point," you laugh, trying to blink the tears away in your eyes. "okay! give me the gift from the boys."

chan passes over another box to you, and you read the gift card stuck on top.

'merry christmas, female dino'

you sigh at their silly joke before unwrapping the gift and bursting into laughter.

"what is it?" chan asks, leaning over to look at the gift.

it's a plain black hoodie inside the box, with a collage of chan's pre-debut pictures printed all over the front. chan groans when you take the hoodie out of the box.

"i bet this was jeonghan-hyung's idea," he mumbles. "i'm gonna kill all of them."

"sure you will, baby," you giggle, kissing his cheek.

then, there's silence.

the only two gifts left to unwrap are the ones you got for each other.

you look at chan, who looks like he's going to throw up any second, and you clear your throat. "should we open the last two together?"

"yeah," chan nods, reaching for his gift, and you take yours.

"alright, three, two, one."

chan claps a mouth over his hand when he unwraps his gift "you- you got me the watch- oh my god, y/n are you crazy? this must have cost a fortune and- shit, i can't even believe that you... y/n?"

caught up in finding the luxury watch he'd been planning to buy for himself for a year inside the box, he totally forgot the gift he got you. you were currently frozen in shock, and chan can only hope it's the good kind.

while chan was freaking out over his gift, you opened the one he got you. you weren't expecting the expensive bag you had on your wish-list for almost your entire life.

it was the Hermès Birkin bag, the one thing you've wanted ever since you were a little girl.

"chan, this is- where did you even-"

"i pulled some strings," chan replies. "do you like it?"

"do i like it?" you ask. "i love it. this is everything i've wanted, i can't believe you got it for me."

"i thought i was everything you ever wanted," chan pouts, and you would shoot him a glare, but you're feeling so grateful for having such a thoughtful and kind boyfriend that you just lean forward to pull him into a tight hug.

"you're the best thing that's ever happened to me," you tell him, and he hugs you by the waist tightly, agreeing with your statement.

"i'm so glad i bumped into you all those years ago," chan says, and you pull away slightly to kiss him, pouring in all the love you felt for the one person who's made you feel more special than anyone else ever could.

(chan remembers how difficult it was to get the bag for you, but for you, he'd tackle the world's greatest challenges.

next christmas, he hopes he can get you something he's wanted ever since you've entered his life; a ring, and hopefully, a family of your own as well.)

- fin.

divider made by @bernardsbendystraws !

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[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (07)

chapter seven: built to break

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; the gorlies are fighting...?, not much for warnings in this chapter ig word count: 4.3k note: i finally got off my ass and wt is finally back lol. i had a last minute change of plans and thought "oh! you know what would be pretty neat? if we prolong the angst so everyone can be sad for longer!" <3 and this is how i announce that the next chapter is not wt8 but wt7.5 and it's written from his pov <3 merry christmas

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

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I’ll hold my breath as I wait for your answer I’ll leave it up to you Tell me whether it’s yes or no Baby, love me or leave me tonight

Love Me or Leave Me - Day6

The warning signs, they're there. You can see them before they materialize. You know your own tells.

Your metaphorical bags are packed, your shoes are already on. You're about to run again, leave a half empty house before it has the chance to become a home. No one has to tell you that you're a flight risk; you're well aware of it yourself.

Wednesday Min: got plans tonight? You: booked and busy with ze old canvas Min: tomorrow? You: same thing probably. sorry Min: u're working hard lately You: yeah this one is just driving me crazy and i need it to turn out decent Min: it'll be perfect. it's u

Thursday Min: running errands at the store Min: want me to bring u anything? that caramel popcorn u like?

Friday Min: don't work too hard. remember to eat

That was three days ago, the last time you'd heard from him after you left him on read. It wasn't a complete lie; this project is driving you kinda crazy and you do need it to end up a decent piece, but you weren't exactly holed up in your apartment to slave over your painting. And you suppose Minho didn't find it all that suspicious because you tend to do this sometimes - disappear for a couple of days and force yourself to focus whenever you had a project to finish, before you come back to everybody again. You've come back to him before; it stands to reason that you'll do it again.

It's been about two weeks since you'd seen him, though the memories of that evening are still fresh in your mind - the evening of the group dinner, when he'd kissed you goodnight and left for his parents' house the following day. True to his words, he did send you pictures of the cats - ones of Soonie wearing a matching hoodie with him, a few of Doongie and Dori napping at the foot of his bed. There was an accompanying text - The kids miss you - along with a frowning emoji, and it made you wonder if what he really meant was I miss you.

You wanted him to miss you, because you missed him too.

The photos brought a smile to your face despite the predicament you found yourself in. A smile that was short lived, a smile that was soon wiped off when you realized your heart shouldn't be swelling with that much affection for him. It shouldn't, but the truth was that it did and you don't know how to live with it.

Love isn't something you've ever learned to hold.

It's beautiful yet full of thorns, and your hands are too clumsy to ever keep it from slipping from your fingers.

You remember when you first met Minho. Freshman year, at some popular senior's house party.

It feels like forever ago when you were just an awkward freshman at orientation who didn't have a single clue on how to make friends. Jess was your first friend in college, and you'll always be grateful that you got along well enough that she adopted you into the group with the rest of the guys.

You didn't cross paths with Minho until you were already acquainted with everyone else. On the night of the party, you remember being enamored with him for those couple of hours, and it wasn't the side effect of too many solo cups of cheap beer. Who in their right mind wouldn't be infatuated with him? He was beautiful, absolutely alluring, and you would always tell him as much.

Back then, he had brown hair, slighter shorter than now but it was tinted with the most gorgeous shade of red. You didn't know much about Minho, only been told that he was pretty quiet and might be off-putting to new people. It was sort of true; that night, you were intimidated by the aura he exuded. Mysterious, couldn't be bothered, didn't seem to give a shit. He looked like a scary little thing, while you were the new kid who was only trying to observe everyone's dynamics, not wanting to overstep any unspoken boundary.

To this day, you're still not sure what really happened, how you two immediately clicked and he's been one of the most important parts of your life ever since.

Maybe it was just him. Maybe it's always been him.

Minho, the one who makes you smile when all you want to do is curl up and cry. The one who makes you laugh when you look for joy but the search comes up empty. The one who grounds you every time you lose your way. Your anchor, the safe harbor you can always return to. The light at the end of a long, long tunnel.

You don't know where you stand, don't know where it goes from here now that everything is changing. He told you so himself, that nothing changed for him, but how could he possibly know that everything is changing for you? And it infuriates you to no end because you don't even have anyone to talk about this with. You're the only person whose world is being turned upside down after all.

You can't tell your friends because they can't know about you and Minho. You can't tell Minho because what would you even say? That you think you're in love with him? That the implications of what it means are devastating to you?

For the first time, you regret everything. Kissing him that night, sleeping with him, becoming whatever this is with him. Letting down your guard and falling for him somewhere along the way and you didn't even stop to notice it. You regret all of the decisions you've made up until now, because they've only led you to the point of no return, the point of losing him. You made bad decision after bad decision after bad decision, until you couldn't anymore. All along, there's been no one else to blame but you.

Maybe it hasn't happened yet, but it's inevitable. You will lose him. You are going to lose him.

There's no other ending, no other alternative that you can imagine. You're going to leave because you're a coward and it's what you do best. You ruin things before they get a chance to hurt you. You leave because if you don't leave then you'll be left behind, and you'd rather not bear the brunt of it.

Now, when you think of Minho, the thought is always accompanied by a painful reminder - Nothing changed for him.

When you get to the cafe, Hyunjin and Seungmin are already seated in a corner booth, three drinks in front of them, one of which they'd ordered for you before you arrived.

You slide into the seat next to Hyunjin, smiling at him appreciatively for the drink. There's still over half an hour before you have to walk to your shared class, over half an hour before Seungmin parts ways with you two to do whatever or whoever it is that Seungmin does on his off days.

"I still think it's Nara," Hyunjin says, casually sipping his iced coffee.

"Nara from your Lit class last semester?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"I saw them talking at a party once."

"Okay. And?"

"And what? That's it."

"That's... all the evidence you have to back up your claim?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

You wave your hands in front of them. "What are you bozos talking about?"

"He’s still trying to figure out who Minho is hooking up with," Seungmin is the one who answers you without missing a beat, then he turns back to Hyunjin. "Anyway, it can't be Nara. She's dating Jaehyun on the basketball team."

The friend next to you flails his arms like a petulant child, like he couldn't have possibly seen this coming, like he was so sure that he had finally solved the mystery. "Great. I'm back to square one again."

You straighten your back and reach for your drink, tentatively gulping down the beverage as if it'll hide the fact that you've gone stiff the second this topic is brought up. You feel bad about it, sure. These are your friends that you're lying to after all. They don't have to look anywhere far; the answer to the secret is right in front of them.

"We're still on about that?" you ask in the calmest, most nonchalant voice you can muster. You usually consider yourself a believable liar (which, to be honest, isn't really a flex at all), but whenever someone mentions this little arrangement between you and Minho that shouldn't be common knowledge for anyone else, you feel like you're been put under a spotlight for the whole world to scrutinize.

"Duh," Hyunjin says. "You know, I'm kinda surprised that you don't know. You two are like, attached at the hip sometimes."

You give him a thoughtless shrug, your hands fiddling with the sticker on the plastic cup as you avoid looking at either of your friends. "Maybe he just wants to keep private things private, y'know? You wouldn't like either if all of us is suddenly all up in your business. And besides, what if it's just casual?"

Hyunjin scoffs. "Please, I'm an open book. I tell you guys everything. I tell you every time I hook up with someone."

"Yeah, but you see, literally no one needs to know that," Seungmin says.

The taller one only scoffs, waving his hands around dismissively in Seungmin's direction before he turns to you. "If it was just casual, would he save her name as - oh my God, I forgot what her contact name is. Freaking bird person or something."

You make a face. "What?"

"Dude, seriously?" Seungmin rolls his eyes. "You forgot one word? Dove? What is the matter with you?"

Perhaps it's the half-hearted teasing judgment in Seungmin's voice that makes Hyunjin take offense and drop the topic. The conversation veers off course when they start bickering like children in the busy cafe. You suppose it works in your favor, but you can't focus. You drown it all out.

Your hand is still on the cup but the sticker has been left alone and forgotten, half peeled off, half still clinging to the plastic underneath the condensation.

The single word repeats itself in your mind, over and over and over again.

The entire time you're in class, you don't really focus on anything. You can't bring yourself to listen to whatever your professor is saying, not after what Hyunjin and Seungmin told you earlier. At some point, your friend has to nudge your shoulder to bring you back down to earth when usually, you're the one who has to remind Hyunjin to pay attention. Class ends soon enough though; time tends to fly by when your mind is lost elsewhere.

"What's wrong with you today?" he asks with his bag slung over his shoulder, slowing down his steps to match your speed as you walk out of the lecture hall together.

You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. "Nothing's wrong. I was just tired."

"You wanna grab dinner with me and Felix?"

Any other day, you would've agreed in a heartbeat. But today, you want to be alone. Sometimes, you'd rather wallow in your own misery than settle for a temporary distraction.

You're still stuck on the conversation from earlier, on the small detail that Hyunjin and Seungmin had let slip in the cafe.

Dove.

His dove.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it's only a nickname that he's assigned to you out of mere platonic fondness, but it makes you conscious about the dove on your own wrist nonetheless, the one that you feel compelled to hide from your friends underneath your long sleeve.

"No, it's okay," you tell Hyunjin. "I'll just go home and sleep it off."

"Okay. I can walk you for a bit," he says. "Just wait with me here. Minho's coming to give me back something he borrowed."

"Minho's coming?" you ask too quickly for it to sound casual. There's a panicked edge that you can hear in your own voice, though you don't think Hyunjin picks it up as he unlocks his phone and types something on the screen.

"Yeah, he was at the library. He's coming over right now, should only be a couple minutes. Then I'll walk back with you."

You shift on your feet uneasily, but you cover it up by rubbing your hands on your arms to pretend like you're just cold. There's no excuse that you could think of that would justify why you can't stand here with Hyunjin for just two more minutes, without giving it away the fact that you're avoiding Minho.

You take in a quiet breath, put on your best brave face. Casual, nonchalant. It's just Minho. Just Minho...

He comes up from behind, where you can't see him. A warm hand gently lands on your shoulder, and it takes everything not to shy away from his touch. It takes even more not to lean into his side.

You've missed it. You've missed him.

"Hey." He smiles at you while Hyunjin only gets a nod in acknowledgment.

"Hey." You return the smile, though you're sure you look a little rigid. You can tell there's an inkling of confusion in his eyes when he senses that your energy is off, but you're thankful he doesn't comment on it, at least not in front of Hyunjin anyway.

You don't notice the paper bag in his other hand until he hands it to your other friend with a simple Thanks, to which Hyunjin just nods along in a silent You're welcome.

"I was going to walk with Y/N for a bit and then meet Felix for food," he tells Minho. "You wanna get burgers with me and Lix?"

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry, I had a late lunch. I'll take the walk though."

You didn't plan on being alone with Minho today, even though you knew you had to talk to him eventually. You just thought you had a little more time, at least until you got your shit together and face him with a brave façade.

Minho's hand brushes yours the entire time you walk, and it's nothing if not confusing. It's unbearable, the way your fingers twitch with the urge to intertwine them with his.

It persists even after Hyunjin has waved you goodbye to you two and turned to head wherever he and Felix agreed to meet. You think Minho would hold your hand now that it's just you and him, but he doesn't. He lets your skin continue to brush, lets you suffer alone and wanting in your sunken disappointment.

It has very little to do with him and everything to do with you, the conflicting thoughts inside your head piling up one by one the more time you spend in his presence.

Dove, the brief display of jealousy at Yeonjun's party, the way he looks at you sometimes that you can't really decipher the meaning behind, how he kisses you so tenderly that it can't possibly be strictly platonic. You want these things to all mean something, and yet...

You want him to hold your hand, but you know you'd wave it off if he tries to reach for your fingers. You want him to stop you right then and there to kiss you breathless, just as he had that night two weeks ago, even though you're sure you'd only dodge his lips and push him away. You want to stay, you want to leave. You're terrified of things changing, but you wish that something, anything, would be different for him; that you aren't the only one who's spinning out of control. You love him, but you wish you didn't.

Eventually, Minho asks, "You okay?"

It's not until now that you realize this is the first time you've ever been this quiet around him. You purse your lips, glancing down briefly at your feet as you keep on treading the rest of the way home. "Yeah, all good. I'm just tired," you tell him, visibly unenthusiastic despite the smile you try to fake. "I just need to sleep it off."

"The project stressing you out?"

"I guess, yeah."

"And here I thought maybe you were avoiding me," he says, half a joke, half inquisitive. "Were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Were you avoiding me?"

You give him a weird look, one that's meant to be dismissive and call his question ridiculous even though you know you've been caught. And maybe it's the over-the-top glance that you throw his way and the way your pitch goes higher when you reply, "Why would I be avoiding you?" that makes him stop walking.

On the other side of the street, there's a couple of kids in high school uniforms, exchanging shy glances and sharing fond giggles.

Minho calls your name softly, and it's like you're just waiting for the ball to drop. You don't want to turn back and look at him, but what other option do you have? What else is there to do?

You can't decipher the expression on his face. He's still calm, but the air has turned serious, the silence of the mostly empty streets surrounding you only serves as the soundtrack of your impending heartbreak. The tender and innocent laughter fades away when young love moves further and further from where you stand. "What?" you ask with faux nonchalance as you look at him, another attempt at stalling. Biding your time even though a few more minutes aren't going to do any good for your case.

Anyone with half a braincell could tell that clearly it's not the truth, let alone someone who has learned to read you better than the back of his hand. He doesn't look like he believes you, though he doesn't push it, much to your surprise.

"Okay," he says after a moment of studying you, and this should be the part where you heave a sigh of relief because he's letting you off the hook for now, but your chest doesn't feel lighter at all. Your head is clouded with dread, with the anticipation that you're only delaying the inevitable.

You walk the rest of the way in awful silence, because you know that he knows something is wrong. You try your best to appear composed, but he sees right through you. You know he does.

You must look like a frightened animal, one that's about to take off running any second now.

When you reach your building, Minho is quick to keep you with him before you can make up a lame excuse and bolt.

"Hey," he starts, his voice so impossibly gentle that it hurts. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Heavier and heavier, it weighs you down until you feel like your chest is going to collapse. The nerves gnaw on you, clawing into you until you feel your heartbeat quicken, the overwhelming dread simmering low in your belly.

"I know," you say, but deep down, what you're really thinking is, Not this. This is the one thing I can't tell you.

"Is everything okay?"

It's the way that Minho's got his gaze set on you with those deep brown irises, the concern so apparent in them that it hurts you. It's the way he looks like he wants to reach out and touch you - a comforting hand on your shoulder or your back like you're so familiar with - but he has to hold himself back or you might slip away.

It's him, how he always puts you first, how he cares about you in ways that you've never been cared about before. He understands you, he sees you. It feels like it could be love if you let the lines blur just enough.

Is love supposed to hurt? Like this?

Maybe it's not that you don't know how to hold love. Maybe it's because you're not meant to hold it at all. Insignificant, unlovable.

And... it's the reminder that cuts through the dread like the sharpest knife.

You leave his question unanswered, because nothing is okay and you can't tell him any of it. You can't lie to him either, because it's the last thing that you want to do to him.

Instead, you ask, "We're good... right? We're okay?"

"What do you mean?"

You gesture between the two of you, though you're not sure what that's supposed to signify. "Just...," you trail off for a second, hesitant. "Nothing's changed, right?"

Minho doesn't answer right away. He looks at you for a moment, searching for something in your eyes that you can't tell if he's able to find.

He nods, seemingly wistful as he says, "Nothing's changed."

He seems unsure about it, at least more than he was just a few weeks ago when he told you the same thing in your apartment with his fingers wrapped around your wrist. The tug between his brows - though barely noticeable - tells you as much.

Is it because something is different now? Or does he only sound uncertain out of concern, because of you and how you're acting?

Then he continues, "For me, at least."

And there it is.

It's the confirmation this time around that turns you inside out so his simple words could cut into you.

You swallow thickly, put on a smile like you're pleased with his answer even though you're trying your hardest to stop yourself from shaking. Whatever energy you had left is instantly drained from you just because of a few words.

Your sentences get smashed together, tangled up like barbed wire and they only make you bleed when you try to pull them apart. All your nervous tics coming out to play despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. A frustrated hand running through your hair, gripping at the roots a little harshly. Your bottom lip pulled between your teeth and your eyes turning glassy for a split second before you blink the moisture away, because you can't let Minho see you like this. See you trying to keep your pathetic heart intact while he's none the wiser.

He's fine. And unlike you, he's going to be okay when this is over.

Unavoidable and inevitable, the end will come whether you like it or not. You're the only one who won't make it out unscathed, and it will only shatter you into more pieces the longer you drag this out.

Just rip the bandaid off. Salvage whatever you can. Stop digging the grave even deeper for yourself.

One second, then two, then three. You don't speak until you have enough faith that your voice is even enough to carry out a few sentences.

"Okay, uhm... I think I need some time for myself. We should..." But it isn't, and you crack halfway through. The sound is deafening to your own ears. "We should take a break. We should stop this."

Minho doesn't question if you mean the secret between the two of you, or your friendship entirely. Instead, he asks, "Why?"

"I told you." You clear your throat. "I need time for myself."

You can't tell what he's thinking, but the knife twists inside of you nonetheless.

He takes a step closer, you take a step back.

You watch as his face falls, and the same feeling mirrors itself within the confines of your ribcage. Your heart drops at the sight of his eyes, deep brown irises stained with a little confusion, then a little hurt though it lasts for only a few seconds. The slight slump of his shoulders, the absence of the familiar playfulness he always sports when he's with you.

He blinks.

"Time for yourself, or time away from me?"

You say nothing.

You don't address his question directly, and your reluctance to do so is a loud enough answer in and of itself. "Why does that matter? What's the difference?"

"It matters if I did something to upset you."

"You didn't."

"Okay. So?"

This is confusing, because he's not letting you rip the bandaid clean off and you don't know why. "Nothing's changed, right? If it didn't mean anything to you, why can't you just drop this?"

Minho is quiet for a beat. His eyes are searching again, but this time, you think he finds something.

Everything is still and you hate it - the silence of the streets, the scrutinizing orange glow of the streetlights as if they're watching the scene unfold, even the innocent cat that's sitting by itself on the balcony on one of the floors higher up. You hate all of it.

"I never said it didn't mean anything," he tells you.

It makes you a little angry for some reason, and there's enough red to cloud your vision because his words are contradicting and you're tired, you're so exhausted that you can't focus on what it is that he's really saying.

"So you lied to me?"

"I've never lied to you."

"I asked you before and you said nothing's changed. Now you're saying whatever this is didn't not mean anything. Make up your mind."

It gets redder when he keeps his eyes fixed on you, still so calm despite the frown that has returned to its place between his brows. Still so collected, while you're being pulled apart at the seams.

The ball doesn't drop the way you expect it to. It keeps falling so insufferably slowly, hanging over you like it's mocking you for being stupid, like it's milking every second of suspense to make you implode.

Until Minho speaks next and suddenly, it feels like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. His voice, still so soft and tender. His eyes, reading something in yours that you can't bear to admit out loud.

"You really don't see it, do you?"

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 24.06.2024]