#[ 𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 . . . ] 💰 verse : ravens banquet.

[bakshiis]

i literally jack off after every single therapy session.

i'm used to unhinged bullshit coming from ted's mouth at this point. for some reason he had decided to latch onto me as a conversation buddy when he had started working at mq regardless of how many times i have informed him that i'm not looking to make friends at work. apparently boundaries are a concept that escapes the coder, which is why i find him in my office trying to make idle conversation. i was thankful that david was in meetings all day, leaving me with an office to myself. maybe the universe was punishing me for getting my hopes up.

"god, ted." i say with a groan, snatching one of the stress balls of my desk. i toss it in the air a few times, keeping my focus on anything but him. "you realize if i told carol what you were talking to me about right now, you'd get written up." my eyes finally meet his, and i raise my brow. "you might get off on talking about feelings but i do not. in fact, i'm not interested in this conversation at all! so you can leave. now."

@sleazeballtm

[bakshiis]

"it's my dream to build my own money bin so i too can bathe in my hoarded wealth."

canon dialogue starter ft. @quirkthieves ( mia ).

[bakshiis]

why are you like this? were you not hugged as a child?

there's this chill that runs down my spine when ted speaks. it's difficult for me to keep a straight face now, but i do. i have to. i don't like talking about my childhood, and i like it even less when people try to bring it up. no one here knows about my past, my personal life. i like it that way. i was weak back then, i'm not weak now. i'm not. "of course i was hugged as a child, ted." another lie, how easily they roll off my tongue now. the reality is that i wasn't hugged as a child, i wasn't loved. not like zack was. that is why i'm like this, why i'm so closed off and serious. anything else shows how soft i am, how easy it would be to surpass me. i worked hard to be here, i'm not going to let some coder change that.

"just because i'm not interested in distracting small talk doesn't mean that i had some awful childhood. it means that i'm focused on things that are important, like work. you do know you're here to work, don't you? or are you convinced that you clock in to talk nonsense all day and distract others from their jobs?" my brow raises, head tilting to the side. ted is far too interested in being friendly with me, i need to stop that as soon as possible. it was already difficult enough sharing offices with david. "grow up, ted. you're an adult, start acting like one. and don't forget, you're my subordinate. what i say goes. so get back to work."

@sleazeballtm

[bakshiis]

that is obviously a red flag. are we not reading that as a red flag? that's crazy. - poppy pls

there's a smile that spreads across my face when poppy speaks. why exactly am i smiling? well, because that's the most idiotic thing i've heard come out of poppy's mouth. i know, that's difficult to believe. but poppy of all people should not be lecturing me about red flags. "are you of all people actually lecturing me about not acknowledging a red flag?" a laugh quickly follows my question and i shake my head from side to side. i pause, taking this moment to take a sip of my mochaccino. "you can't be serious ... wait, you're serious." another laugh, and i raise my eyebrow, eyes narrowing in her direction. "i'm not taking any advice from you when it comes to red flags. shit, poppy, you let ian pluck you from mit. i've seen pictures of what he looked like back then. he was a walking red flag. you're not too good at noticing those, are you?"

@clickedbait

[bakshiis]

"what do you want, ted?" the words are harsher than i had even planned. i had been having a bad day. this happens from time to time, where my limbs feel heavy and my head feels like it's floating. it's hard to focus, hard to do my fucking job, but i couldn't just call in. i had a job to do, a persona to uphold. what kind of a weak piece of shit calls in from work when they're feeling a little depressed.

i had been hiding out in my office all day, thankful that david was busy all day in meetings with montreal. i thought if i left my door shut i would be left alone. obviously, that wasn't the case. "at least close the door behind you." i say with a heavy sigh, forcing my head to glance up from my desk. my eyes meet his, and my head tilts to the side. interesting, my vision is fuzzy ... it takes me a second to focus my eyes on ted. i bet i look like shit, i think to myself. "i'm very busy so please keep this brief."

lyric starter call ft. high by slow pulp & @sleazeballtm

[bakshiis]

i have to try and stay positive. it's the only way we get through this.

my face scrunches up in disgust, and i top it all off with a gagging noise. "positive? ugh." i complain with a roll of my eyes. being positive isn't exactly one of my strong suits. i suppose at one point in my life i was more positive than i am now. that's the funny part about it, really. being positive and optimistic never really got me anywhere in life. if anything it only led to further disappointment. "why don't we pull our heads out of our asses and be a bit more realistic, hm?"

@honeyrage

[bakshiis]

i posted this on my personal tumblr but i truly do think that brad and poppy are like decently friendly together. i feel like they gossip together all the time. there's new office drama and brad goes to poppy's office to talk shit with her.

[bakshiis]

"people really miss public executions."

canon dialogue starter ft. @selfmadesaviour ( mac )

[bakshiis]

“get the hell out of here !!  shoo away from me.”

"hold on." i say, raising my hand and gesturing towards the other with my index finger. eyes narrow, brows furrowing, blinking as i fully process what what just said to me, the order that had just been given by someone with no real authority over me. "did you just shoo me?" a humorless laugh slips past my lips and i roll my eyes, shaking my head from side to side. "nope, no. very funny, hilarious. but i'm not letting you shoo me away."

@oddsciences

[bakshiis]

how long have i been asleep?

"hm ... not for long." i was getting close to falling asleep as well, eyes feeling heavy and body feeling tired. i push myself up in bed, head tilting to the side to look at anna. "you should ... probably get going before you really fall asleep." i do this all the time, kick people out after hooking up. it's routine, at this point, but it doesn't make it any easier. there's always this burning desire to ask for someone to stay, to try to get close to another person for once. but i never do. i slip out of my bed, grabbing my briefs off the floor and slipping them on. "y'know, i've got work in the morning so ..."

morning after prompts, @butnobodyhome, accepting!

[bakshiis]

"i've been sleeping with a light on. i ... tend to freak myself out."

lyric starter ft. @starbeambully & scrawny by wallows.

[bakshiis]

"do you really believe in all that shit?" i can't help but ask, smirk tugging at the corners of my lips. i'm not really trying to hide my judgement here. yet again, when have i ever done that? "or is it just some clever marketing ploy? exploring the unknown is really hot right now. trying to answer those big unanswerable questions."

starter call ft. @portraited ( ryan )

[bakshiis]

❛ maybe we should kiss just to break the tension. ❜ ( from ian teehee )

ian once again has caused me to take a pause. i can't really remember what we had been arguing about, something about the price of another stupid dorky sword that i want to push to players. we had been trying to brainstorm ideas on how to actually finish this task, and ian had the bright idea to suggest kissing. i take a moment to think this through. he's probably just trying to be an asshole right now and make me even more angry. no, that won't do.

so i walk away from the tv i was standing in front of in his office, moving towards where he was sitting on his desk. a smirk tugs at the corners of my lips and i lean forward, palms pressed flat against the desk top. "hm. only if you ask nicely." let's see who can throw the other off first. because the idea of kissing ian wasn't upsetting, in fact it might even be a little bit appealing. i need to reflect more on that later.

@neveragcd

[bakshiis]

With a little hum, I look at him for a moment, then down at the floor. There's a split second of hesitation before I flop down onto the floor, wrapping up into a blanket and opening my book. Today it's quiet time.

i don't mind this, the quiet. if anything i enjoy it. i don't mind that bella isn't feeling very talkative today, if anything it's helpful. more time for me to get some work done. i tap away at my ipad, working on a report for montreal, when i see her sink to the floor. i lower my ipad for a moment, staring at her on the floor. a few seconds pass before i too move to the floor, crossing my legs. this isn't so bad. i wish i had a blanket too.

@pluviacuratio

[bakshiis]

i don't talk about my feelings with anyone. - Paul

"i don't either." my tone is flat, but inside i'm ecstatic. somehow, i find myself often surrounded with people who will not shut up about their feelings. people who will try to convince me to open up in kind. it's annoying, and quite frankly it pisses me off. hearing paul admit that he doesn't talk about his feelings is a relief. i don't know if i could take much more of that.

"annoying, isn't it, when people try to get you to talk about shit like that?" i ask, head tilting to the side. i'm curious, after all, if it annoys him as much as it annoys me. "i share an office with my boss and he never shuts up about his feelings. he's always trying to get me to open up too. it's such a pain in the ass."

@clickedbait

[bakshiis]

that made me so sad. what?

oh, i hadn't realized that my expression was that noticeable. but my nose was scrunched up, brows furrowed, and general distaste had washed over my face. i wasn't trying to be rude, not this time. i never know how to act when others become emotional, i rarely know how to handle my own emotions. i clear my throat, shifting my weight from foot to foot. this was awkward now, wasn't it? "nothing, nothing. i uh ..." my throat clears, and i let out an exasperated sigh. "... i just never know how to react when people get ... upset in front of me. are you ... okay?"

@ncmad