#@existential-crisis-professional

[glitterxdeath]

he is so roman holiday by nicki minaj coded

[chibishortdeath]

I got a new sketchbook since I filled one recently :3c. Shout out to suddenly getting a ton of energy and drawing bizarre fanart at 1 am 💀💀💀.

I’m putting the more violent ones under a cut even if the post is already tw tagged because of the subject matter being a bit dark d(^^ ).

Along with explanations for all of them of course!

⚠️tw for self harm and burning past this point⚠️

First one (before the cut) is just some pose practice. Simon’s just sitting, all sad and mopey. There’s also a little chibi doodle of him in the bottom corner and a little pose armature in the top corner for a pose I didn’t even end up drawing whoops lol. I feel like I drew his face a little differently than I usually do in this one :O. Idk how that happened lol.

This one is to show the differences in anatomy between each game! The curse takes a lot out of him, poor guy, so he’s a bit less jacked than usual 😔. Well, more specifically he doesn’t have as much of a layer of protective fat anymore. And he’s also very tired :(. But yeah, this is just a reference I’ll look back at to keep this detail consistent! I was going to put scar reference on it too, but I completely forgot and eh it mighta made it kinda hard to make out anyway d(- - ).

I drew this side profile of Simon while watching a video talking about lost media stuff. I think the image I based it on was something Saki Sanobashi related, idk I just liked the vibes of the hair being blown back by wind and got inspired :). And yes I know that Saki is probably a hoax 💀💀💀💀💀, I didn’t have much interest in it tho tbh, besides just hoping something lost gets found in general. Lost media videos are honestly great for putting on as background noise when drawing :)

Simon is totally me when I have a crisis and cover my face with my hands, but make sure one eye is visible and miraculously out of shadow for dramatic effect!!!

Ok spookier stuff time, first of the below the cut drawings. This one is based on how sometimes vampires are depicted as being able to drain someone from long distances or beyond the grave. Dracula is mean, and Simon is suffering from the curse, the usual. Augh I actually need to do things cause I keep thinking of a cool scene of Simon having a weird Dracula nightmare and then waking up to see it wasn’t a dream, and that’s tropey as hell, but it’s spooky!!! Do you see my vision?

This is a depiction of like what happens with a game over or something :O. Like an absolute worst possible outcome: Simon dies and Dracula is unsealed and fully regenerated. I basically just took is Simon’s Quest design and then rehydrated it and tada, Dracula is no longer a skeleton— He ends up looking way more like Vlad the Impaler in this outfit hmmm. Also, unrelated, but a friend of mine mistook Dracula for Jesus in this drawing 💀💀💀.

Oh boy, edgy depictions of uh a lot of not being very kind to yourself themes. Idk how else to describe this one other than ya know when you get really mad at your past self for making a mistake or the wrong decision that you could’ve only known about in hindsight? Also in part the fear of actually becoming a vampire at the end of all of this? And I guess a bit of feeling like it’s your own fault, you’re the one that keeps shooting yourself in the foot, but I feel like he’d also attribute getting hit by Dracula in the first place as his fault too… hmm just a lot of very sad things going on, this one was definitely a later 1 am time drawing, maybe 1:40 or something. I think what I draw at night is further proof to not trust you when you’re tired; I get weirdly existential at night and then it’s totally fine in the morning. Simon! Just sleep! Stop overthinking!!! You’ll be ok!!!

This one I debated putting up at all cause it’s graphic and not finished (TwT ;). But it was a rare drawing of Simon smiling that didn’t look uncanny, which is kinda ironic because Simon this is not the time to be smiling—! That is also wayyy too far for just the Dracula ritual, you really only need a tiny amount to open the seal, but I’ll cut him some slack cause he is a bit at wits end by this point. I’d say maybe he’s smiling because he thinks he finally won, but tbh I thought of it more like when things are just so bad you start laughing. Like Dracula just rose from the altar and the morbid irony of it all is just so absurd, the irony that you did everything right and fought tooth and nail (Dracula’s to be exact lol) to stop it and here it is happening anyway. I wanna give this guy a weighted blanket and a bowl of warm soup—

These last two are based on what could’ve happened to him. The Grey ending is pretty much usually considered the “worst”, but they’re all nearly interchangeable, especially in the Japanese version. For example: the western release really makes the Blue ending seem like he died and didn’t kill Dracula, but it’s a lot more that he just died doing it in the original, which is to say that it’s kinda like the Grey ending just with a different eulogy— Anyway, the Grey ending is the only one that doesn’t show Simon at Dracula’s grave, so I’ve always taken it as he didn’t make it out of the castle basement. And well, setting Dracula on fire is a pretty common way to kill him so uh um, R.I.P. I’ve got a couple ideas for alternate comic endings to say the least. I might honestly just depict all of them and leave it entirely up to the reader which one happened because it doesn’t change much— Though this also has me thinking of how him surviving would work now. The curse would definitely have left some lasting effects, you don’t just magically stop having been rotted, sleep deprived, and whatever else it did. Idk I picture him being like Renfield levels of lost it afterwards if that makes sense… that could also be a pretty solid explanation for why his story isn’t told correctly and the cycle repeats with Maxim later; it’d be a pretty traumatic thing to talk about tbh. Ok but yappersvile over, next doodle 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Aside from the burnt doodle that’s uh same explanation as the above (R.I.P.), the other two are just a little head angle and expression practice and one tiny one towards the top that’s Dracula being all spooky ghost vampire, but I didn’t like how it was looking and gave up on it 💀💀💀. It’s very hard to draw a vampire attacking someone and not have it look kinda awkward or unreadable. Tbh I struggle putting two characters in one image anyway because I have to draw the anatomy lines for both of them and they end up getting really hard to tell apart when one is behind another, one character suddenly isn’t proportional compared to the other, or you find out one of them isn’t tall enough for the pose you had in mind (>~< ). So anyway Dracula was accidentally way too short all of a sudden and I couldn’t figure out how to draw his torso without making a completely incomprehensible blob behind Simon oof.

Okie, it’s lunch time, bye :3!

[dkettchen]

me waking up in a cold sweat at 6:20am: "I should get evening classes to be a hair dresser & training to be a makeup artist to be my own hair/make-up person on photo/video shoots and defy industry's single-gender-dominated-and-not-improving department segregation system like the all-rounder online creator that I am 👀😤"

[brown-little-robin]

.

[xamaxenta]

ngl i kind of just want to kms alot of the time but its the effort of doing and then leaving behind the one person who seems to like me enough to stick around me and my bs and that stops me

[artemispt]

Also, just very recently I discovered that Dumb Ways to Day is a “Australian public campaign made by Metro Trains in Melbourne, Victoria, to promote railway safety”. Moments like this make me feel like my job has some meaning 😅

[jukeboxhound]

THE BAILIFF IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESTRAINING ORDER COURT THIS MORNING TRIED TO FLIRT WITH ME

[rosecarlsonmemoirs]

Chapter 8: The Fantasy Weekend

David leaned back in his chair, swirling his third whiskey of the evening as the low hum of conversation and clinking glasses filled the dimly lit restaurant. Harper sat across from him, her manicured hands fidgeting with the edge of the menu. The candlelight flickered against her dewy skin, her carefully sculpted features glowing like something out of a movie. “Do you even know what foie gras…

[justmefeelingtherain]

Oh, the pit od despair. How I missed you.

[benoitblanc]

dana scully character of all time. she's five foot two. her two day jobs are cutting up dead people and professional ghostbuster. she's got daddy issues. she owns a fluffy little dog. she's held multiple different government officials hostage multiple times. she kissed her boss on the mouth. she accuses said boss of trying to kill her like once a year with literally no foundation. she's catholic but her favorite movie is the exorcist. she shot her best friend. she was abducted by aliens and still refuses to believe in them. she dresses like an underpaid arts teacher. she met god in a parking garage. out of the two times the man she's been blisteringly in love with for years confessed his feelings to her, the first time she got so overwhelmed she started crying and the second time she thought he was high on painkillers. she can't park a car. she once had an existential crisis, got a tattoo, and slept with a serial killer. she wears socks on the beach. she might be immortal

[shojizbae]

Too Sweet

Spencer Reid x reader

It was no secret to the team that you had a sweet tooth. Anytime you walked past an ice cream shop, your eyes lit up with unbridled joy. After a hard case, you always came into the bullpen with a box of sweets. Donuts if you solved a case under five days, Hush Puppies if there was a fallen family, or maybe some Snickerdoodles if there was arson. They were always the same pink bakery boxes with a cellophane window.

Today was no different.

"Good morning!" you signed songed as you skipped into the bullpen and too the right to the kitchen.

"What treats have you cooked up today mama?" Derek rubs his hands as he closes in on the kitchenette

"Oooh, sweets!" Emily smiles and skips over to the counter

"They're macarons."

"Ugh, those nasty almond cookies." JJ giggles as she snoops around the box

"No those are macaroons." I correct and hold a raspberry-pink macron at her. She bites it playfully out of my hand and laughs with me. She wipes the extra creme out of the corner of her lip and thanks me.

"Woah those are delicious." she goes back to her office.

"What diabetes are you giving us today." Hotch tosses a file on the counter as he walks by.

"Pistachio, raspberry, or lemon?" I smack Emily's greedy hand away as he goes back for a fourth and fifth.

"Pistachio." He leans back to look in the box "Those look professional."

"That's what happens when you have an existential crisis and take a baking course while completing your doctorate and feel like no man would ever want to marry a woman with more degrees than 'wifely skills'." You rattle mindlessly

"Well, that was our daily depressing moment of (Y/n)!" Derek chides like a sports announcer.

"Where's Reid?"

"An that's our daily 'first Spencer question' being the tally!" Emily holds a ghost microphone up.

"C'mon,"I put my hands on the counter and leans my hips forward, "I'm not as obsessed as you think I am."

"Oh, just only a little." Emily placates. The two return to their desks to grind through the many stacks of folders. I picked up the box and reorganized the disheveled cookies. I sauntered over to his hunched back. Dr. Reid, my work husband, was mangled over his desk scratching down details of a past case on a legal pad. I sit on the right side of his corner-shaped desk.

"Good Morning Spencer," I chide. He jumps slightly with the high timbre of my voice.

"Uh good morning Agent (L/n)," He clears his throat a few times.

"I made macrons," I held up the box "Would you like one? I made some with lemon, pistachio, and raspberry. Take your pick." I brandish the box once again.

"That's alright I haven't had any real breakfast yet."

"op how about some fake breakfast?" I pick up a light yellow circle and shake it twice in my hand.

"No that's really ok," but before he can protest I force half the cookie past his lips and all that he can mutter out is a disgruntled, mouth-filled groan.

"Did that taste real to you?" He sassily holds up a finger as he chews and swallows.

"That was rude." He states but takes the second half of the treat from my hand and finishes it off. A bit of the filling slings to his lips and I slide my thumb over it

"You've got a little something-" My speech is caught when his brown eyes meet mine. He looks nice below me. His eyelashes are thick but his eye bags drown out his cool amber eyes.

"Sorry," I clear my throat and lean back on the desk. "Would you like some more?"

"Yeah, can I have the pistachio one?" He rolls around on his chair. He takes a bite of the cream-filled delectable. "Woah you have a real knack for this. It's like all the ingredients want to be together. It just takes you to make things right." He gives me that dorky smile and I lose all sense of restraint. I dive in and hold his chin while I kiss him. I pull back with the fear that I stepped out of bounds.

"Come here." He tentatively holds my jaw and his kiss is much nicer than mine. He releases me and I scan between each of his eyes. "You had a little something."

[mychemicalraymance]

i started this post so short and made it into a full on tour outfit camp/fashion post accidentally

hope everyone knows that gerard’s skirt suit tie is like. literally a vintage “women’s” tie. when middle class women entered the workforce with gusto the fashion of professionalism and suits etc had an existential crisis about what to do with the ties...... like the ties of skirt/women’s suits are specifically bows and ribbons.  i can’t give any sort of statement as to why, aside from the fact of arbitrarily and subtly keeping gendered difference while “copying” men’s standard dress and attempting to move away from 60′s professional dress, which was largely the same as women’s social and public dress. anyway. the fact of choosing this tie 

and the fact that the tie reveals itself to be a scarf only after the jacket is removed is amazing... idk. it reveals the distinction between men’s and women’s dress and how gender is forcefully adapted into all ways of life, even in movements to remove it. the same goes for the kitten heels, 

kitten heels are another perfect camp example of gender adaptation imo. heeled and uncomfortable, explicitly gendered but “professionalized”, largely considered frumpy to a certain degree and unsexual due to their low height. translating the professional uniform of men to women’s attire was a sort of a second wave assimilation approach to gender. 

50s’/ 60′s workplace attire, which emphasized busts, hips, and waist. 

and then the more 70′s / 80′s look of gerard’s tie and heels - boxy, “androgynous”, padded and square shoulders, adopting suit jackets and patterns

the tour (mostly the dresses and skirts, designed outfits) has been largely 70s to me, even with the explicitly  60′s and ww II looks.

 they’re incredibly boxy and have a “boyish” silhouette, a hallmark of women’s fashion of the 70s, considering women’s lib and the gender revolution. it’s so cool to see because part of that was a move TOWARDS androgyny, and now even the pants looks are identifiably “women’s” or androgynous.  even the sunglasses are “women’s”.  

“women’s” sunglasses, “women’s” ties, and “women’s” specially adapted uniforms, be it nurse or office worker. all of these looks are seeded from the historical urge to de-gender and androgenize fashion, yet to our eyes it’s unmistakably “women’s” 

camp by my definition  in its purest form is the re-contextualization of needlessly gendered practices, society, and fashion, and the shifting context is used to satirize the  notion that things are “naturally” gendered and dimorphic. camp, when effective, describes the constructed nature of gender and sexuality. women’s suits DESIGNED to be "more masculine” are  by modern standards (well i mean. by modern feminist standards LOL) still obviously so far from the mark of “genderless”. it highlights the fact that gender is so insidiously woven into EVERYTHING, even  social efforts to be more egalitarian, so to speak. it makes us see the gender we quietly perform as “natural” in modern life. 

i’m not a fashion historian or anything else so if i’m wrong i’m sorry LOL. but i give such a huge fuck about gendered fashion in camp and also gerard way

[postoctobrist]

Hello, I am a transgender woman and also a fan of your podcasts (many such cases I am sure.) I started listening to Kill James Bond a while back because as a young child I desperately wanted to be James Bond. My gmail account still has '007' in it because I never changed it. One of the few photos I have of me as a child is me in a white tuxedo holding a shirley temple like I'm James Bond (if James Bond were an eight year old future transsexual who drank shirley temples.) I did somehow wear the *fuck* out of that white tux. Move over Craig Fingersuck. Anyway.

I just listened to your episode on The People's Joker, because I also just finally got around to watching The People's Joker. I am writing this because at the end you said that trans people have to create art and joked "we have to make a People's James Bond" and the thing is I already sort of am. This past summer I completed and defended a doctorate in mathematics and then had a kind of an existential crisis about whether that was really what I wanted to do with my life and started writing a classic "allegory for my trans experience" screenplay and it sort of became a James Bond parody film. I still haven't come up with a good title, what I have so far is "there is still no time to die" or perhaps "goonraker" but thats not the point of this ask. The real question I had is: when I have a solid draft would you like to read the script? I don't know how realistic making this thing is going to be, I have some friends who are professional filmmakers and I plan on bothering them quite a lot (especially one of them who respects my writing and who I've also been collaborating with on a smaller scale live performance piece in which I am going to help her process her own gender crisis as a cisgender woman by, among other things, doing a live 'psychiatric evaluation' of whether she's a real woman or just AGP, and then ritually destroying a copy of Camille Paglia's Sexual Personae) but at this point its very much a long shot.

yeah okay I will read your screenplay

[emmcfrxst]

yippeee !!!!!!!! bc i cant get the image of hotch with a big fat crush on a fellow bau member out of my head wuehwjdb it'd be so cute !! & even funnier if u're so obviously crushing on him back while he's just... having an existential crisis. worrying his ass off abt all the issues having feelings for u as ur superior brings & trying to be super formal & professional during the whole process 😭😭

you’re the only one, despite being a profiler yourself, who hasn’t noticed his humongous crush on you— even garcia figured it out despite usually being the oblivious one— and they all think it’s so funny because you genuinely worry about hotch potentially not liking you as a person/team member because he’s so polite/formal with you but it’s just because he’s Awkward <3

[marinettesaltprompts]

The Maribat deconstruction got me thinking: am I the only one who thinks Adribat is a more....plausible (??is that the word) concept than Maribat? Like, not even in a romantic sense but a familial platonic sense.

Think about it, he's :

got the tragic backstory & suffered from neglect

canonically been abused waaaaay beyond school bullies

taken for granted by adults (primarily his dad & Master Fu) and by his peers (LB)

dealing with the existential crisis of not being human if we go the sentimonster route.

Look, I get that trauma & suffering should NEVER be a competition but when you think abt it, Adrien's suffered just as much, if not more so than Mari ever did even with Chloe & Lila in the picture. You could argue that some of what she suffers in salt fics (isolation, no support system, emotional suppression, harassment) are ALSO things Adrien goes through bcz while he's a superhero like her, UNlike her, his home life sucks.

So if there's either hero the Bat Fam would empathize with more, it's him. Yes, they can hold him accountable for screw ups but if we go the Good Parent!Bruce route, he can give Adrien the physical & nuanced emotional training he needs to spot red flags & deal with them beyond passivity. The training is harsh but at least he doesn't play favourites, giving Adrien no excuse to slack off & proper motivation to mature. Plus, in the Bat Fam, everyone has clear roles & secrets aside, nobody strings anyone along, offering him a reliable structure to fall back on.

He doesn't come into the Bat Fam expecting to be in charge. Instead, the nitty-grittiness would push him to be more independent & decisive instead of impulsive.

If LB tries to call him out, he could point out how for all she claims to be the 'responsible professional hero', she REacted instead of acted & if real IDs are thrown in the mix, he can call out how she just went with the 'woe is me' route, resenting that everyone didn't jump on her call for a witch hunt when she could've communicated to them privately.

Sorry, this turned out longer & less explicitly mari salt-centric than I thought but I tried to stay objective. I hope you don't mind.

Technically everyone would have their own opinion about whether a Miraculous/Batman crossover could actually work. In my opinion however, I believe that the best bet for a good crossover would be through Adrien more than Marinette, in part because of the reasoning you gave, but also because Adrien would fit the idea of a Batfamily member more thematically than Ladybug ever could. If anything, he's like Catwoman but without the whole stealing bit.

Keep in mind that the whole Maribat AU was created with the goal of creating a salt fic (albiet with a crossover), and the OG creator even took a character that was no way romantical and turned him OOC to make their convoluted idea work, ironically in a method reminding me of the "My Immortal" Harry Potter fanfic. Regardless how it later developed, the original idea was pure salt, albiet one that took off because of everyone's hate boner for any character that wasn't Marinette, with people later trying to justify it for one reason or another. It's an idea that should have never worked in the first place outside of this context. In contrast though, Adribat would actually work because of a genuine commonality connection.

Also I don't mind talking about Adrien on this blog. In my mind, Marinette salt and Adrien sugar are the one and the same on this blog, because the salt of one character is usally sugar of the other due to how these prompts go.

Hell, my entire blog was made in opposition to the more well know Adrien Salt Blog made by another individual, which has both plenty of Adrien salt and LOTS of Marinette sugar, though I would call the latter justification for Marinette's own bad behavior as it never discusses her own issues, it just let's her go off scott free by pinning the blame all on Adrien.

In any case, I like your idea! If you or anyone else want's to share any Adribat prompts that you got, feel free to send them here!

[thatoneastralghost]

Okay, so nothing of much importance, but as I was working on the storyline for my Siffrin remembers AU [Name is still a work in progress], I came up with some small fun facts about their life that may or may not end up coming up like, ever, lol

He can ABSOLUTELY fit into small spaces that he probably shouldn't be able to get into!

As someone who is short myself, getting into weird small spaces that look like I shouldn't be able to fit into is honestly a hobby of mine at this point with how much I do it, and I think it would be absolutely hilarious if Siffrin could do this as well!

Siffrin is really good at doing hair!

This is something that will likely come up during the story but I wanted to share it here anyways 😋

While playing ISAT, there is a scene where Mirabelle mentions that Siffrin is good with curly hair, and I think Siffrin would be good with hair in general, especially styling it.

Obviously they aren't a professional, but I do think they would be pretty good at doing some different hair styles, doesn't matter if it's curly hair or straight hair, they have a few styles they are good at.

The only thing is, despite being good with hair, they absolutely HATE doing their own hair, likely due to reasons relating to their past.

They are EXTREMELY good at acting/lying

I know that in cannon, Siffrin likes theater and is good at lying. But when I say in this AU he's good at acting & lying, I mean this man can tell a lie so well sometimes even HE isn't sure if(or more likely when) he's lying or not.

Obviously he does have the awareness to know that he's lying, but sometimes he'd probably wonder if everything he says or does is lie, which would probably lead to several existential crisis's...

The same goes for his acting skills, there would likely be times where, when he's happy/sad/angry/ect, that he'd wonder if that's what he actually feels, or if it's just what he thinks he supposed to feel, and this would likely also lead to several crisis's, for similar reasoning.

Anyway's, I might post more, might not, but either way, I hope you all have a wonderful day or night and stay safe!