#@ EVERYONE WHO SENT ME A MESSAGE SORRY I NEED TO SLEEP ON THIS AND CALM DOWN AND POSSIBLY STOP CRYING REAL ASS TEARS THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE

[stormyoceans]

my head hurts from crying for the past twenty minutes but it's not because of pain. i don't think i will ever be coherent enough to properly explain my feelings but to me this scene wasn't heartbreaking. it was hope and love in their purest form. hope because day's life doesn't end when his eyesight is gone: day is no longer angry because he has learned that he can still experience the world and live a happy life and find meaning in both. love because mork, who could no more save his sister's life than stop day from losing his sight, is being held in the hands of the man he loves and being told 'someone like you is enough': enough to be day's last twilight, last picture, last love. of course there was loss in it, but so much beauty too. these two men who used to be invisible and alone and locked away in the darkness found each other, chose each other, and stepped into the light, together. and that's where they will always be from now on: in each other's light, where they'll never fade away again

[bluewhitehues]

Hug | Kim Mingyu

Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.

Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff

Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader

Warning: mentions of anxiety

Part 3

The drive to your apartment was quite awkward, mingyu dropped you off and you guys parted ways saying bye.

There was a longing in Mingyu's heart.. he really had prayed and hoped that you both will get along, may be will go on few more dates to know each other . But alas that didn't happen.

After going home you showered and made yourself some quick dinner ...you were eating when you got Chan's call, at that moment all you wanted to do was curse at him shout at him so you picked up his call, " you should've told me if you had a death wish why pull such a stunt chan? " you were talking so calmly he got scared "hey why are you talking like that you're scaring meeee"

"YOU SHOULD BE SCARED CAUSE THE MOMENT I SEE YOU IM GOING TO KILL YOU, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID , YOU SENT ME ON A DATE WITH KIM MINGYU DO YOU KNOW WHO HE'S? LIKE YOU SHOULD'VE ATLEAST WARNED ME , IM NOT A CELEBRITY IM A NORMAL PERSON-"

He cut you off "FIRST OF ALL STOP SHOUTING..and what's wrong with it if he's a celebrity and you're not? I'm also an idol and you're bestfriends with me I don't see any problem here? And about the other thing ..y/n I'm really sorry I lied about it being a blind date but if I had told you you'd have said no.. he really likes you ,that idiot thought we both are a thing can you imagine lol, and then I guessed that he likes you and he didn't deny so I came up with this plan ...also he thought you knew and said yes to the date with him ,he didn't know okayy? He might be coming for me I'm so dead ...see.. I worked so hard for you and you're not even grateful-,"

You huffed loudly "Grateful my a$$.. you should not do this with anyone's feelings chan he must've felt so bad he thought I said yes and was all excited do you know how bad Im feeling?"

Now chan got alarmed , "hold on, why are you feeling so bad? WAIT TF UP DID YOU BY ANY CHANCE SAY NO TO HIM ??? I SWEAR TO GOD Y/N-"

And now in this one fine moment your pretty brain realised you gotta tell chan ..AND WHAT WILL YOU TELL HIM ???? OMG ...I said no to Mingyu because I like you? Because I like someone else? He knows literally everyone in your life and would not believe your lie and now you're freaking out you don't even have mingyu's number, what if you tell one lie and mingyu tells another you'd be caught right away so no you need to talk to Mingyu.

So you blurt out, "N-NOOO we just- we just went through it...AND OMG I'M REMEMBERING IT JUST NOW I left my purse in his car and I don't even have his number IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT send me his number right nowww" and you saved the moment just like that (you hoped it didn't sound too fake or extra)

Chan thinks something is fishy but thinks he'll find out anyway so he doesn't press you anymore.."you couldn't even ask for his number yourself seriously y/n you've got no game-" That brat thrives on teasing and annoying you.

"if you don't shut up and just send me his number right now you won't only have to worry about mingyu coming for you... sleep with one eye open cause I'm also coming for you-"

He laughs at you, " ok, okay let's all calm down..check your messages I sent the number..also you owe me full explanation and details tomorrow"

"whateverrrr bye."

"hey atleast tell me how was the date."

"NO.. someone once said *That's all you're getting* " you quoted his words from when you asked him about who is gonna be your date.

He whined about how that wasn't fair before you ended the call.

You were nervous as fuvk because what are you going to say to Mingyu it already feels bad enough but now you've to come up with a plan to tell chan. So before chan could go to Mingyu,you called him.

After dropping you off Mingyu went to his and wonwoo's shared apartment, where as soon as he entered wonwoo asked him about the date. Mingyu said it was okay, good, wonwoo then asked him why does he look so sad ..mingyu said he doesn't think it'll work out that's why ..and asks wonwoo to not to tell others about anything because he knew just like that all of them will know, that means chan will know as well and he promised you he would not let him know,he'll keep it a secret.

He was about to go to bed when you called him he was surprised but he picked up the call.

"uh Hello Mingyu? It's me y/n ...sorry ,did I disturb you?"

"Hey no you didn't ..what's up everything ok? "

"yeah everything's fine just uh Chan called me actually and I don't know what to tell him..I just I thought we should tell him the same thing so he wouldn't doubt ...I'm sorry I feel terrible to trouble you like this".

"I told you not to say sorry ..you can talk to me comfortably just how you talk to your friends it's ok .. "

"okay I won't say sorry again."

He smiled a little ..he has never talked to you that much, that too on call it's first time hearing your voice..he thinks you sound so sweet and he wishes he'd get to talk to you more often.."hmm that's good ..also about chan what options do we have?"

"if I say I like someone else he won't believe me so that's out of the option ..and If I say I said no he'll ask me the reason.." you sighed "I can't seem to find any reason to tell him"

"I see um then...we can just say we decided to be just friends? "

"that sounds good" you thought that's the safest answer.

"yeah soo.. is it ok for us to be friends? " He really wanted you to say yes .. he'd manage with just that.. being your friend.

You can't see him yet you can picture his hopeful eyes..."will you be ok?..with being my friend" You ask.

Mingyu thinks a little ..he thinks he'll take it as much as close he'll be able to stay with you he'll take it, it is dangerous but right now his heart,mind, soul everything just decides that yes they want it..

"Honestly, I've mostly seen you from distance yet I thought you were amazing so..I...I would like to be your friend and who knows someday you'll realise I'm hotter than chan and finally confess to me ..wow I would like to see that day." He's mischievously smiling right now and then he hears it your laugh..one of his most favourite things in the world ..he could hear it forever.

You laugh.."Mingyu seriously" he also laughs a little with you.

"I'd like to be your friend too mingyu but ...I know how it's like to be friends with someone you like..and I wouldn't recommend that ...it can be hard sometimes." You don't want to think about those moments again when you're trying to move on but you wouldn't want mingyu to feel like that as well.

He sighs," well I'm a tough guy " he's not...but he'd do anything to get to know you better ..he doesn't want to regret anything in his life.

"Ok then it's settled ... we're friends from now on"...you're smiling now

"yeah we are ...I like it" he's smiles softly.

.

.

Author's note: Hey everyone this is it for today, hope you enjoy it❤️

Part 4 👇🏻

[crushculture03]

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 in the Teachers assistant universe!

Content warning : Toxic relationship, Ab*sive relationship, yelling, self hate, bruise, slap, mentions of dickhead guys.

Notes: I thought of this idea of him comforting her and went with it. There’s a surprise at the end though!

You quickly walked back to your apartment, trying your best to calm down from the interaction you just had with Matty. You turned your key in the lock, and opened the door slowly. “Finally your home” a voice says, making you jump. You turn in the direction it came from and your heart sinks as you see your boyfriend sitting on the couch. “Hey Liam” you mumble as you set your bag down on kitchen table. “I waited 3 hours for you and all you have to say is hey?” he shouts, walking up towards you, anger evident in his eyes. “ I���m sorry, I was called in by the Professor i’m T.Aing for'' you respond, “Which one?” he inquires, “Professor Healy” you mumble back. Liam laughs “That guy? He seems like a total tool who is definitely going to try and fuck you” he says, “He’s actually really nice” you say, defending matty.

Your boyfriend’s face drops, “You’re just saying that because you want him to fuck you huh?” he says, “God yes It’ll be better than whatever you try to do” you think, “That’s rich coming from you” you say, “Excuse me? What did you just say bitch?” Liam says, as he gets in your face. “Don’t act like in the time we’ve been together you haven’t cheated on me!” you shout back. Suddenly you feel a harsh slap hit your cheek “Because Any girl is better than you” he spits, “Get the fuck out and never come back Now! Leave!” you yell as you push him to the door. '`You're going to regret this” he says, “Don’t think I will, so take your big ego and small dick to the sorority house down the block” you say, before slamming the door in his face.

You scream in annoyance at the interaction you just had with him. You knew it was just another one of your guys fights, something that has been common in the relationship ever since he cheated on you the first time. You knew you should break up with him, everyone told you too, but the thing with Liam was he was very manipulative and easily persuaded you into taking him back.

You laid down on your bed and stared up at the blank ceiling, just trying to process all the events of today. Tears of frustration streamed down your eyes, all you wanted to do was have the courage to break up with Liam, but you knew you didn’t have it just yet. Your thoughts then shifted from Liam to Matty. The way Matty made you feel, even without trying, made you feel alive again, something you hadn’t felt in a while. You wiped your tears before getting dressed and grabbing an ice pack for your cheek, you knew a bruise would form by the morning and you’d have to cover it up. You laid back down in the bed, thoughts of matty plagued your mind until you fell into a deep sleep.

The next day you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. You checked it and saw the typical apology messages from Liam, but what surprised you was the other notification you received, one from Matty. You decide to ignore Liams texts and click on the message matty sent you, it read

“Hey! Need some help with grading? Would you be free today?”

Yeah of course! I’ll be right over!

Perfect see you soon xx

You quickly got dressed as fast as you could and ran out the door, forgetting one very important step in your routine, covering up the bruise. On the walk over to his office you received many weird stares from students, but didn’t know why, so you decided to just brush it off. You knocked on his office door, “Come in” his voice says. You carefully open the door and step into his office, “Hey Matty” you say as you close the door behind you.

He looks up at you with a smile, but it quickly drops when he see your face, “Y/N what happened?” he says, as he stands up from his desk and comes up to you. You look at him confused, “What do you mean?” you say. Matty reaches his hand out to cup your bruised cheek, you wince a bit and your eyes go wide realizing what he and everyone else was seeing. “Who did this to you?” He asked, anger and sadness flashed in his eyes as he looked at the purple bruise. “N-no one, i accidentally hit myself with a door” you say, trying to make up any excuse you could, and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to curl up under a blanket and hide from the world.

“Don’t lie to me love i can see the outline of fingers” he says. You finally break as tears begin to pour down your cheeks. Matty pulls you into his arms, holding you while you sob. “Shh it’s ok it’s going to be ok i promise” he whispers before kissing the top of your head. “But it’s not” you sob, pulling away from him, “he always comes back and I always let him, because he says he can’t live without me, but if that was true he wouldn’t be sticking his dick in other girls” you cry, feeling stupid as the words that come out of your mouth.

Matty guides you over to the couch in his office and sits you down, “He?” he asks, “My-my boyfriend liam” you mumble out, as you look down at your hands, too embarrassed to face him after your confession. “Boyfriend?” he asks, still trying to process everything, you had never mentioned to him you had a boyfriend, that was because whenever you were with matty you completely forgot. “On and off for the past 2 years” you say, “he did this to you?” Matty says, his voice rising as anger coursed through his veins. You slowly nodded your head, “He got mad at me for being out late, and accused me of wanting to sleep with you, and when I called him out for cheating he slapped me” you say, still not looking at matty. Mattys heart breaks when she says this, he can’t help but feel guilty for calling her in so late last night.

“Has he done this before?” Matty asked, gently placing his hands on top of yours, to comfort you. You sheepishly nod your head, matty sighs “I’m so sorry” he whispers as he pulls you into his arms. You knew it was probably extremely inappropriate to be in this position with your Professor, but something about mattys embrace made you feel like you were safe and protected. “You need to tell the school and the police, and you need to break up with him love” matty whispers, gently nudging your chin up so you’re facing him. “I-I can’t they won't believe me” you mumble, matty sighs “I can go with you if you want” he offers. “You would do that for me?” you say, “Of course, no one should ever be treated like this darling” he says. “Will you come with me when I break up with him? I’m scared he’ll hurt me like last time and you’re the only person who makes me feel safe” you say, “Of course darling” he says, reassuring you.

After you calmed down a bit, you looked at matty and said “Thank you Matty, for caring and helping me out”. He smiles “No need to thank me Y/N” he says, you just smile and place your head back on his shoulder.

The next hour was a blur to you, you and matty had gone to the dean's office and police station to file a report, you didn’t think they would listen to you but they did and even said Liams name had come up in many reports, especially on campus, before. After that you both made your way to Liams apartment, in typical fashion he begged for forgiveness, but instead of giving in you broke up with him. His face dropped and his eyes filled with rage, but before he could lay his hands on you Matty stepped between you both and ushered you out of the apartment.

You both had made it back to your apartment, deciding it would be best for you to rest the rest of the day. “Thank you again Matty” you say as your stood infront of your door. “No need to thank me darling, I’d do anything for you” he says, not realizing the undertones of the last part of his sentence. Your cheeks go slightly pink “I appreciate it” you say back, he nods his head in acknowledgement and smiles. “I’ll let you relax, but call me if you need anything ok?” he says, you nod you head before he turns around to walk out.

“Matty” you call out, he turns around, confused slightly, without thinking you rush up to him, gently cupping his face with your hands and pulling his lips onto yours. The kiss catches him off guard at first, but he quickly kisses you back, his hands resting on your hips as your lips move in sync. You both pull away for air and look at eachother “I-i’m sorry I don’t know what came over me” you say, your cheeks flushing pink thinking you’ve embarrassed yourself. “It’s ok love” he says back, his demeanor is cool but on the inside his mind is still buzzing from the kiss. “I’ll see you on monday” you say and quickly turn on your heels and rush back into your apartment before he can say anything.

[specialinterestshows]

Me: - says I’m likely going to take a break from writing this Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic -

Also me: - has already written more of this fic -

Warnings for this section: Pining/angst, jealousy, cannabis (weed), dirty talk

-

Absolute Smokeshow (Part 10/?): Eat, Sleep, Breathe

Days passed slowly when you paid attention and blurred together quickly when you didn’t. Despite the messages sent back and forth daily between you and Rhea, it was nothing like being in the same space with her. When sleep evaded you, the vest she left you was still heavy with her perfume and the fragrance calmed you. The cool leather and spikes were something you would fidget with until you fell asleep, hoping you might see her in your dreams. Almost every day you woke up to a picture she’d send you of herself - usually smiling or with her tongue out - during her morning exercises. Though she had joked about sending nudes before leaving, you hadn’t received any. No doubt she was busy training and taking care of important Judgement Day business.

On Mondays (and sometimes Tuesdays) you would turn on the TV to watch Rhea defend her title or support her teammates. However, seeing her with Dominik Mysterio - her arms around him, the looks they gave each other, the whispers they exchanged - it tore you apart. If they were still having issues in their relationship, they never showed it on camera.

Some of your friends had noticed you were less present these days and tried to visit or have you over more. Even though everyone was curious about what was going on, you only found yourself confiding in one of your closer friends - someone who had been in the group you’d gone to the bar with.

Even then, you’d only ended up telling them because they were so genuinely worried, they wouldn’t leave you alone. You were grateful for that, though it may not have seemed like it at the time.

“I’m not going back to the bar,” you’d snapped at them, “It’s just going to make me feel worse.”

“Look, I know you’re having a rough time,” they spoke gently, but evenly, “and I’m sorry if I’m making it more difficult, but you’re important to me and there’s clearly something going on. Don’t you think talking about it might help? I’m here to give you support, not judgement.”

The last word hit you and you did your best not to start sobbing then and there. Eyes pointed at the ceiling to keep tears from falling, your sinuses give a familiar burning ache as you try to compose yourself.

“I, um… may have let myself get really close to… the woman I met that night,” your voice trembles.

“Rhea Ripley?” your friend immediately gets a fiery look in their eye, “What did she do? Did she hurt you? I don’t care if she is a wrestler, I will-“ the tears were already rolling down your face, but it wasn’t until you’d let out a sob that your friend realized you needed a hug before saying more.

Crying into their shirt, you realized for the first time how much this was affecting you. After you pull away, your friend gets to work making sure you have tissues, water, and your bong. More tears cascaded down your face as you held the cool blown glass. No wonder you couldn’t stop thinking about her; most things in your apartment were a reminder of the two days you’d spent together. Even your favorite food truck now held the memory of her, in your sunglasses, calming your anxiety in the face of an unexpected run-in with your ex.

“She didn’t hurt me,” you finally manage after taking a long, drawn-out hit, “Rhea. I just… miss her so much. We text, but it’s not the same. Her boyfriend goes everywhere with her and I’m just… stuck here. I’m not sure how much I mean to her, or if I’ll even see her again.”

Passing the bong to your friend, you shared a silence as they moved around the burnt bits of green in the bowl.

“You know,” they said, pausing to light the bowl and inhale, “you could always ask her” - they pull the bowl and clear the piece, speaking in a more strained voice as they tried to hold as much of the smoke as possible while still talking - “Just go “hey, when are you going to be in town next?” or something” - a large exhale creates a cloud around the two of you, waves of smoke hanging in the air until they’re only visible under lamplight - “Who knows, maybe you can go meet her somewhere.”

Taking the bong being handed back to you, you take a moment to consider how such a message might sound. It’s difficult not to overthink something with so many emotions involved.

“I’m worried that might sound… desperate,” you say, tracing invisible shapes along the piece in your hands. Your friend shrugs, responding, “Then maybe focus on your own stuff for a bit. She’s busy, maybe you could stay busy for a bit” - then, louder - “Oh man, do you still have those chips from last time I was here?”

So you had taken their second bit of advice and tried to stay busy, still messaging Rhea between seeing friends, working, and trying to take comfort in your hobbies. Much of what you did was distracting, in the moment, but nights still left you thinking of the last woman you’d shared your bed with.

It was over two months since you’d last seen her at this point. You wanted to personally resurrect and punch whoever had first said “it gets better with time.” Then, you wanted to ride off into the sunset with Rhea. On Rhea? Either would do.

The situation was frustrating, but so was having an amazing night with a woman and then going two months without sex. Initially, you’d laid down on the bed this evening to get yourself off, but it was proving to be difficult. Looking over at your phone, you decide that if you can’t enjoy yourself, someone should.

Sliding out of the rest of your clothes, you take a moment to mess with the lighting in the room. Looking at yourself in your phone camera, you adjust your hair and quickly gloss your lips before reclining on your bed. Running into the battle vest Rhea left you, you decide it’s the only article of clothing you’re going to wear for the photo - but it wouldn’t cover much of anything.

It takes several angles and poses, but you finally manage to take a picture that you’re sure would get a quick response. Double-checking the recipient, you pause for a moment before hitting send. Closing your phone, you set it face-down and change into pajamas before washing the lipgloss and remnants of the day from your face.

Upon entering your room, the first thing you do is check your phone. A smile spreads across your face as you read Rhea’s response:

“Keep tempting me like that and Mami’s going to have to come get another taste of her good girl VERY soon”

[end part ten of ?]

Part 11: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/724314822103138304/absolute-smokeshow-part-11-of-carry-on

-

Tag List (thank you!)

@cherryberryshine , @littlemiss-fanficlover , @elisewithak

[eyeslikewatercoolers]

At Your Door- Vandergerd

Based on these two drabbles from a while back, this fic is finally done! Thanks to everyone who convinced me to continue this on <3

Read on ao3

"You're beautiful, you know that, right?"

"Wait, what did you just say?" Vivian turned to the computer screen, holding a cat in her arms. She originally meant to show off the new collar she bought for Apple, but now she had bigger things to discuss.

Irma's eyes widened as they realized they weren't as muted as they thought. 

"Shit-Sorry, I thought I was muted." Irma quickly said as the panic settled into the pit of their stomach. 

They've had a crush on their online friend for several months. But they’ve only recently accepted that they had a crush on someone who lived on the other side of the country. 

They've gotten close to Vivian after they met through being added to a mutual friend's Discord server. Soon they added each other on other social media and DM'd each other almost every day.

Vivian shook her head slowly, putting Apple back on the floor. "No, I heard you. Did you just say that I'm beautiful?" 

Irma was now extremely thankful that it was just the two of them in the server’s voice chat. All of their friends who were chatting before had left to go to bed a couple of hours before, leaving Irma and Vivian alone together. 

They usually liked having time with only Vivian online, and they could talk about whatever they wanted. 

Except right now, this was not the time at all they wanted to be alone with her. 

"I-Um..." they stuttered, thinking of a quick excuse to escape this awkward moment. They looked at the closed door of the bedroom and pretended someone walked in. 

"My roommate wants something, I'll talk to you later!" Irma said as they scrambled to turn off their camera and mic and leave the voice chat.

"But I thought you lived alone-" Vivian's concerned voice cut off as Irma let out a sigh of relief. After switching their status to 'Do Not Disturb'  and turning off Discord notifications on their phone (for good measure), Irma sank into their barely-made bed. 

"What the hell did I get myself into?" they said as they put their head in their hands, talking to their imaginary roommate. 

Eventually, sleep took over, and they hoped that they would make a better plan in the morning to deal with the fact that they just called their crush beautiful.

Viv may blame it on staying up too late and completely forget about it. Right?

"Truly, a flawless plan."

"What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean by that is that you have no plan!" Gisèle said as she dropped her head into her open hand. Sighing, she looked at Vivian in front of her "Okay, let's go over this one more time, and maybe it will make sense to me."

"I'm flying to the East Coast, and I'm going to find wherever Irma lives and ask them why they called me beautiful the other night," Vivian explained like it was easy for anyone else to understand her logic.

"How do you know where they live? You've only met them in person once." Gisèle asked, trying to remain calm.

"I sent them a poster for their birthday last year, so I'll go to that address."

"And you don't think they might assume you to be a stalker or anything if you show up unannounced?"

Vivian shrugged. "I don't have any other choice. They refuse to answer my messages, and nobody else on the server has talked with them."

"Tell me you at least have a hotel booked or something when you get there," Gisèle asked, hoping that her friend put some thought into this.

Vivian shook her head, "I was hoping that Irma would let me crash on their couch or something." she said sheepishly.

She sighed again, "I have some Expedia points you can use. Just in case you need an actual lodging option."

"Thank you." Vivian smiled and checked the time on her phone. "So you can watch my cats while I'm gone?"

Gisèle nodded with a gentle smile on her face. Her friend might not think things through, but she knew Vivian's heart was in the right place. "Of course, I can do that for you. When should I come over?"

"My flight leaves in a couple of hours, so tonight?" she offered.

Gisèle sighed once again but smiled at Vivian, "A little short notice, but you better come back as Irma's girlfriend."

Vivian was exhausted after navigating the airports, sitting in a cramped economy seat, and giving the confused Uber driver directions to a place she had never seen before. 

All she wanted to do was go to her hotel room, shower, and order whatever takeout restaurant delivered the fastest. But she had to try to talk to Irma first.

Traveling across the country took close to the whole day. The sun was getting close to setting outside the correct building Vivian spent ten minutes searching for. Today felt like the longest day of her life, but the hard part had yet to come. 

Vivian stood in the hallway, triple-checking that 307 was the right door she should be knocking on, and hoped that Irma was home right now. 

Pushing down her anxieties with a deep inhale, she knocked on the door, but it was too soft for anyone to hear. 

“Come on, Viv. You can knock on a door.” She said to herself quietly, still standing alone in the hallway. She shook her arms at her sides, wiggling her fingers to shake out the nerves. 

This time, she knocked on the door harder and more urgently. Vivian heard the television mute and footsteps on the other side of the door, and the deadbolt turned inside to be unlocked. 

Irma looked like they hadn’t seen the sun in person in the past few days. They had bags under their eyes, and their dark roots were visible on the top of their head. Upon seeing Vivian, Irma’s eyes grew in confusion and panic. 

“W-What are you doing here?” they stuttered out hand still on the doorknob. 

“We need to talk about what you said the other night,” Vivian said in her best stern tone. She tried her best to sound serious so that Irma would at least let her inside. 

Irma shook their head, “No, we don’t, that’s okay. Goodbye.” they quickly said as they tried to shut the door, but Vivian’s foot prevented that from happening.

The two stared at each other silently for a moment through the small opening of the door until Vivian decided to be the one to break the ice. “Please?”

Irma pursed their lips before answering, “Fine, we can talk.”

“Good, because you’re hurting my foot.” 

“Oh shit, sorry.” 

Several minutes later, both were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, awkwardly avoiding eye contact. This is what Vivian was working up the courage all day for. But now that she’s here, she has no idea what to say.

Irma didn’t know where to start either, so she felt better about that, at least. 

“So…Who’s watching your cats?” Irma asked, glancing over to the blonde. 

“Gisèle, I think I showed you pictures of her with me before,” Vivian answered, trying not to pick at the skin of her nails. 

“Wasn’t she the one you had brought on voice call before?”

She thought for a moment as she remembered when Gisèle spent the night a few months before, “Yeah, that’s her.” 

“She seems ni-” Irma was interrupted by the attempt of small talk.

“Why did you call me beautiful?” Vivian quickly asked, wanting to cut to the chase already. She wasn’t sure if it was the nerves or not having real food in the past six hours that caused her impulsiveness. 

Irma’s eyes grew in panic as they tried to scramble for an answer, “Because uh- Because you are?” they said, unsure of what else they could say.

“You think so?” Vivian asked, slowly gathering the courage to look at Irma. “Does that mean that you like me? Like a crush?”

“I-I mean- I do like you a lot, but I never really-” Irma rambled out before Vivian scooted closer to them on the couch. 

“Because I’ve liked you as more than a friend for months.” Vivian blurted out loud as she got Irma’s wide-eyed stare in return. 

“You do?”

She never realized it until she thought about the video call from a few nights before that she had a crush on her friend. The way she smiles when Irma sends her memes out of the blue. Or whenever they sent her heart emojis, she wanted to screenshot every message. Maybe it was the good morning messages she woke up to every morning. 

She nodded, “Yes, but if you aren’t ready to talk about-” 

This time, Vivian was the one who got interrupted by a pair of lips crashing into her own. Their first kiss was nothing like she had with other people she dated. It felt urgent and needy, but she felt herself melting into the kiss. 

She felt Irma pull away, but their hands rested on her waist. “I like you more than a friend too,” they said, finally looking relaxed for the first time that evening. “But I probably should have asked to kiss you before I did that,” they admitted as their cheeks grew pink. 

“It’s okay, but maybe you can take me on a date while I’m still in town?” she offered. 

“Let me think of some good places, and I’ll pick you up in the morning.” 

(And to Gisèle’s satisfaction, Vivian did come back as Irma’s girlfriend.)

[lyon-amore]

What if...? Duskwood Chapter 18

Chapter 17   ————————————————————————————-    

*Macie POV*

 I turn off the alarm and cover myself with the sheet. I have to get up to go to work, but I don't want to. I need a good reason to go to work. I hear the chat notification sound and try to reach the mobile. As soon as I unlock it, I gasp as I read the messages I sent to Jake last night.    "No, no, no, no, did I send this?!" ask, looking at Henry "Oh, of course, you weren't there… But did I send this to him?!"

     This was better than a cup of coffee to get rid of the hangover, seeing that I wrote ridiculous messages to the man I like. I don't think I'm going to be able to look him in the face today, what a shame... Oh…Yeah…I highly doubt he wants to see me after kicking me out of his apartment …He's lucky he's a nice person or I would have ratted him out.

 I get another notification from Richy saying if I've seen the screenshot of Phil's conversation One by one everyone please! I can't have more than one thought at a time today. I don't think Cleo is right to accuse people randomly and without proof, she would have to keep calm. Richy doesn't want to believe that Phil is the kidnapper because of the mark of the raven. Also, it's strange: It's Cleo who's gone for Phil, but is it Richy who gets the mark? It's clearly not Phil. It seems that he also often treats girls to free drinks. It's good for me then for when I go to Duskwood sometime, because with everything that's going on, I'll need it. The first and last time I got drunk was in college. There I promised myself not to do it again and Surprise, surprise! I was the dumbest idiot on the planet because I've never been disappointed like this. This time I do promise not to drink again.

 I see Aiden and walk over to him. When I stop him, he looks at me with a disappointed face.    "Hey…" I start to say, embarrassed about last night.    "How do you feel?" He asks me awkwardly.    "I'm sorry for what I put you through" I apologize, covering myself with my bag, as if I were shielding myself from the nonsense I did ", the truth is… I didn't even feel like going…"     He looks puzzled and crosses his arms.    "And why didn't you say so from the beginning?" His voice of him being disappointed pierces my brain. I want to sink my head into the ground like ostriches "I would have understood."    "Because I was angry with someone..."     We walked into the building, continuing to talk.    "And you wanted to ''revenge'' by using me," he draws out the word 'revenge', arching an eyebrow when he looks at me.    "It's not even like me, really" and it's true, I've never done anything stupid like this. I took my disappointment too far, dragging down the wrong people ", I'm so sorry Aiden, I promise never to speak to you again.”     He rolls his eyes, and laughs.    "If you had told me it's to make a guy jealous, I would have helped you" he winks at me, along with a laugh ", you may not feel the same as me, but I always aim to help my friends."     I smile at him shaking my head, He's even worse than me last night.    "I don't think it's necessary anymore," I explain, and we get into the elevator. I can notice how some people look at me badly "He... For now I think we should stay away until our situation improves."    “You texted him drunk."    “I texted him drunk."    “Rule number two: Don't have your phone handy when you're drunk. It never goes well. "    "And what about rule number one?"    "Never get drunk."     Oh good. He could have given me that advice BEFORE I got drunk.

 I work slowly and there are times when I almost fall asleep. I have to stay awake anyway...    "HOW DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT? " Lian yells at me and I cover my ears, throating as I complain.    "Don't yell," I say, frowning. "Good, I remember few details, but as soon as I lay down on the bed, I stayed there, sleeping."    "Can you tell what happened to you last night?" She leans on the table, looking at me as if she were my mother "Everyone is talking about it, even after yelling that you wanted to fuck Aiden they fear for their lives."    “Oh God, no…” I grab my bag and bury my face in it.     Lian takes it from me and points a finger at me. She is furious.    "That's what you get from drinking. Have you learned your lesson?"    "Believe me… Too well…" I remember at least the conversation with Brian because I was more lucid talking about how much I liked Jake, even though I didn't name him "Did Brian say anything to you?"    "Tell me you didn't propose to fuck him."    "No! Besides, Besides, Brian isn't that great either."     She gives me a dirty look and crosses her arms.    "Well, no, he hasn't said anything to me, why? Have you told him something? Is it about me?"     Good, I'm saved. I’m glad Brian didn't tell her in the end.    "No, just in case I said something stupid, nothing more."    "Then don't worry, he hasn't said anything to me."     It's good to know that her husband isn't interested in romance stories other than Lian and him. And more being Lian the center of his world. Damn, how romantic. I hate them. I decide to go to the building to see Jake. But… I stare at the front door, should I go in? I don't dare to see him yet and maybe he doesn't want to see me after what happened. And surely if I tell him what I suspect about him and what I investigated, plus that I have a friend who works for the government, he will surely disappear forever. I remove my hand from the knob and turn around, approaching the cats. Again they have food and water. I bend down and pet them, listening to their purrs. I look up, and narrow my eyes, coming to see a shadow in the window. Or so I think... Maybe guilt makes me think he's watching me. I pick up my phone hoping to receive a message from him telling me 'I've seen you, come up. We must talk.’ But no.

 I go to the cafeteria and talk to Cleo for a while. Anything that makes me forget about this situation a bit.

 No. As much as I talk to Cleo, I still remember Jake's yell telling me it's dangerous for both of us. Only this time, I don't feel like drinking alcohol. I've already learned my lesson: No alcoholic beverages. There is nothing better than coming home after a day at work. I look at my phone, trying to gain some strength to look for some clue to find Hannah. All I can see are lots of mixed numbers, symbols and colors. I can't concentrate.    "Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved with you like this…"     I want to cry again. I'm stupid, I shouldn't have pressured him to be close, and we ended up getting hurt in the end. 

I caress my lips remembering that were close to Jake. He really did want to kiss me… What would have happened if we had kissed in the end? Would he have regretted it later? Or perhaps… I better stop thinking about this, because I'm hurting myself.

 Again, the unknown demands a video call. After the last video, I don't think anything worse is going to happen, right? I accept the call and keep an eye on the screen. The forest again... No... Something peeks out of a tree.

 I let out a scream and drop my phone when I see the kidnapper wearing a mask. Ridiculous, I know, but like I said, it's real. This person can hurt Hannah. When it ends, I don't doubt it for a second. I need Jake. I need you by my side. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Macie Jake? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I start to bite my nails. He doesn't answer. Did he see the video? Or maybe since he knows I'm not in Duskwood he doesn't care about the video? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Macie Where are you? 😩 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 No... He won't be gone... Right? It is gone? He has left me alone? I start to write a "Jake please I need you I'm scared" but I end up deleting it. I put my phone down on the coffee table and stretch out on the sofa, hugging my knees. I don't want to go to bed after this video. Can something else happen? During work I find out that Thomas has gone to Alfie to ask him about Hannah and the man without a face, shaking him! But what did he think?! He is a kid! I massage my temples, trying to understand him. I understand his concern BUT TO DO THAT TO A CHILD!    "Can they sit still for just FIVE MINUTES?" I ask myself, trying to calm myself, I'm not asking for much...

      Huh? Something weird happens here... I look at all my co-workers who start muttering and looking at me, what now? Still haven't recovered from the party? Another notification...    "What now?" I pick up my phone annoyed.     Lilly… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Lilly I just uploaded this to Youtube I hope you understand now how serious I am ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 <<A video… Let's see what he said now. >> I sigh and hit play. The video begins with her sitting on a chair.    "Hello my name is Lilly Donfort. The missing girl Hannah Donfort is my sister" introduction, okay "and I know who's behind her disappearance" what? How does she know? "Some time ago, my sister sent us a cell phone number. At that point, she had already been got missing" What is she hinting at? ". In the meantime the woman of this number belongs to has intend infiltrate into our circle of friends and trying to get information about Hannah, her friends, and my family Yeah, because that's called INVESTIGATION "This woman has have know a unknown man" No, no, no, no, what is she doing?! She's going to put him in danger! "This man has illegally accessed my sister's private data, spied on us, even threatened us in multiple occasion" Stop Lilly! You're going to get him into trouble! "I'm really sure that these two people are the real perpetrators" WHAT?! ". Therefore, it seems also may be there behind the dead body that was recently found in Duskwood" But... what is she saying?  "I’m in possession on both cell phones numbers as well a personal information and I prepare to have this over to anyone who is willing to help " Oh God! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING LILLY?! "Please!" She takes a breath, as if she is relaxing. Is it normal that everything is spinning? "I want my sister back. Help me find Hannah and bring this two kidnappers to justice." I stare at Lilly as the video ends. No… This can't be happening… right?    “Meyers texted and said Macie's phone number was one of the two."    "Is what Petunia Meyers said true? Is the number Macie's?"    "So Macie is guilty?"     One by one they all whisper behind my back and I can't react. I can't stop looking at my phone... I'm... But what? No… It can't be happening right?    "Macie? Can you tell what everyone is saying?" Lian approaches my table, and even Aiden follows behind her.    "How are you involved in a kidnapping?"     I stare at them, unable to breathe. I squeeze the phone hard. Lilly…Lilly! LILLY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! I didn't answer them and I got up from my chair, taking my things. I hear them asking me questions about who Lilly is, why she blames me, and who this man is who says he's spying on her and her friends.

 I manage to see Jessy make an appearance, defending me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Jessy Are you nuts Lilly??? What have you done?! 😠 Lilly I did what had to be done Macie I am supposed to be the kidnapper? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I can't believe what she has done. If I had her in front of me right now I would pull her hair. I'm sick of everyone treating me the way they want or humiliating me!    "Miss Connors!" I hear Christian behind me down the hall. "Explain to me what's happening right now?"    "Sorry, but I have to go!" I yell without looking back.     Christian grabs my arm and I try to pull away.    "This is serious! This is something that can tarnish our image as journalists!"     I stop moving and look at him. This is what I was referring to. Everything always involves what they will say about me. I'm tired.    "Do you know Christian?" I start to say, in a tone of rage, "You should stop thinking so much about me and stick your ego worries up you ass." I snap out of his grasp and walk again.    "Macie Connors! Come back right now!"     I ignore him and enter the elevator, returning to the chat. I have to take care of Lilly now, but not here. If I keep listening to all these people, I'm going to go crazy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Jessy I am just completely speechless right now Richy Hey y’all 😁 What’s going on here? 🤨 Macie There is a black sheep in our group And the sheep is called Lilly ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I can't believe what she's done. Will Jake be okay? This can affect him too. It's incredible that this is happening. What is going to become of us?! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Thomas Lilly, is that true? Macie and this hacker guy are behind Hannah's disappearance? Macie Of course it’s not true! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Thomas! But what are you saying! How can you doubt us now after all we've done?!

 I arrive at a floor and see how those who were waiting for the elevator look at me. No, no, no... The rumor can't have spread so fast, right? I must relax. I'll ignore them and return to the conversation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Lilly It’s impossible that you don’t see how suspicious Macie and Jake are! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 How… how do she know his name? How do she know his name is Jake? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Dan Who the hell is Jake? Macie The hacker Richy The hacker’s name is Jake? 🤨 Dan No clue Lilly You see? It is impossible that someone, who is trying so hard his identity, is just looking to help Macie Where is your proof against Jake and I? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I end up getting my first text from a guy named Wallace, asking me what I've done with Hannah. This cannot be happening…

 And of course she has no proof. Where was she going to get those proofs? Jake hasn't even told me anything about him regarding his privacy, he's always careful, which means there isn't even anything about him on the internet if you're looking for a man who looks the same as Jake. Maybe he doesn't even have social networks, how then can she know his name?

 I have to tell Jake that he delete the video. Even Richy tells me. I hope he will listen to me this time, the matter also has to do with him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Macie I need you help! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I get to the ground floor and see some policemen at the entrance asking at the reception, did it really spread so fast?

 I hide in the bathrooms and receive another text from a stranger named Elenor, saying that she knew Hannah. I try to make her understand that I have nothing to do with this, but she doesn't believe me . And she has the face to tell me that she has seen me with her. How else if I not know her?

 New message from Richy. Great… Thanks for the encouragement… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Richy I don't want to cause a panic, but Lilly's video has over 4000 views already 😑 4221 views Macie Knock it off Richy 😤 Richy Sorry  😐 Macie         Jake is not coming online Richy This is the first time I find it concerning 😅 Dan Pf. He took off long ago Macie He would never do that Dan Well, I would if I was him After such severe accusations Macie I would never forgive Lilly for that ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 What he has gone? No, I don't think so. Jake wouldn't abandon me like this…would he? Although before I thought that he was going to leave me because of the tension between us, this is more serious. Please, may he not have abandoned me.

 The police must have already gone to the elevator to pick me up. I don't have to talk to them at the moment, I have to take care of another matter.

 I have to do something with Lilly and immediately. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Macie I would like to hold a vote on Lilly Cleo What? Richy 😶 Macie An eye for an eye Lilly Is that supposed to be a joke? Macie Quite the opposite ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I'm not going to let Lilly continue in the group after what she's done. She could sink our lives! Endangering Jake's if it's true that he's the one the government wants! She is a danger even for the investigation, it is better that she is out so that she stops giving us problems.

 I get herself to leave the group after an argument, I even get Jessy on my side with what happened. I manage to get to the apartment with some fear that someone could have followed me. I slam the door hard. It has to be inside, right? Please, let him be inside….

 Nothing.

 Jake's not in the apartment.    "Where has he been?" I mutter between my teeth "please, tell me you haven't left..."     Staying here will do me no good. I don't know where he may have gone. I will go home, surely the police will go there to look for me. *Jake POV*

 I arrive at the apartment after having moved a little away from the city. Upon entering, I go straight to the computer, seeing a couple of messages from Macie asking me for help. I hadn't touched the computer until now. I couldn't be on it and see her messages. If she was happy or if she was still angry. Now, seeing these messages, I am clear that I must finally respond. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Jake Hello Macie. Macie I am glad to see you! Jake What happened? Macie I'll explain what happened Lilly published a video She is accusing us both! Now everyone believes it! You have to delete the video immediately! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I put my hands to my head, thinking about the situation. I have to not only fix the video but eliminate all the evidence we have in this room and get the hell out of here before they find me. I'm sure they'll find me soon.

 Shit, shit… This can't be happening! It can't happen! I have to calm down, Macie can tell I'm nervous and it would make her nervous. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Jake I am going to take care of it. Macie Please hurry I am going to let the others know ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I look around the room. All the work that Macie has done. I have to destroy everything before they come after me and suspect us more. Her. Shit… She must be having a hard time. And I can't be next to her.    "I have no choice but to destroy all this" I muttered, starting to throw everything on the floor and going for the stove ", but before that, I have to take care of Lilly."     Please, that she can trust me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 ??? Lilly, I am sorry but I do not have much time, so I will cut to the point. You need to delete that video, not only because you hurt Macie, but also you and your family. Lilly Wow, now you really deign to talk to me, eh? Kidnapper! Assassin! Give me back my sister! ??? Lilly, please trust me, I had nothing to do with Hannah's disappearance. Lilly I don't believe you ??? I understand, but it is a security issue. And not only for that. You do not know it yet, but we are connected. Lilly ENOUGH! I don’t want more lies! Give me back my sister! I just want that! ??? Lilly please listen to me! I am your brother! Lilly NO! I would know perfectly well that I have a brother! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I clench my teeth hard. I didn't want to do this, but it's a last resort for me to delete the video. I am attaching a picture of her father and my mother, in a romantic way. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 ??? You probably won't believe me. But I am risking enough for you to see how important it is to me that none of the three of you are in danger because of me. The government is looking for me and this can also affect your family. Please delete that video, not for me, but for Macie, Hannah, and the rest of your family. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Lilly goes offline and I pray it worked.

 Now it only remains for me to disappear.

Chapter 19

[malamai]

What a day.

I have had a hell of a day. I work in the betting industry at current and today was the Irish grand national there were 8 other UK race tracks having horse races alone today without taking into account the dog racing and other locations, it was my shift managing, I came in at 7.30am and trying to organise the displays was a complete nightmare because I had like piles of newspaper everywhere, I must have looked like something demented if somebody saw me trying to get organised and set up. I managed to get myself sorted and ready, did all my counts and opened to shop. Everything was fine for about the first 40 minutes and then I just got SWAMPED! It was an unbelievable work load for one person so I checked to see when my next body was in and they weren't due until 10.30am and I was like "ohhmyyygoddddd" because it was a considerable time away, so I'm like trying to make coffees for the regulars, giving our canine customers treats, trying to keep money right, paying people, trying to get everyone sorted, I just got my head down and focused until they came in, I was keeping my head just above water really.

When my colleague came in I noticed he was very quiet compared to normal but I didn't have time to talk and I feel really crappy about that now because of what it was that was eating away at them. When they tried to get on the computer it errored and I WANTED TO DIE because that meant that technically I was still on my own, I had to get somebody else in that is a basic computer genius in to fix it and he very thankfully got to us very fast and figured out what was up and fixed it. After a 5 minute breather that my customers even said was well earned, it had calmed down enough so I asked the guy I was working with what was going on and his answer was so terribly sad I ended up being like "what are you doing here? You should not have come in, I would have been fine." And after a bit of a chat I feel like I eventually managed to convince him to go and I arranged for him to leave. So I was alone again but happy he was gone because it was a complete family emergency and I wouldn't of been able to comfortably sit knowing how he felt, there is no worse feeling than knowing your loved ones need you and you can't get to them.

So again, I get my head down and I find a minute to message the colleague who came in earlier to sort the computer out and I'm like "hey I sent --- home, don't worry I'm fine, but the day hasn't gone smoothly, if there's some bits left for you when you come in I am really sorry, it is what it is, I'm rowing a boat that everyone shot holes into today." And I sent him a picture of my work stats for the day and I'd done the equivalent of a busy day for two people but all by myself. He sent me a message back saying "oooooof.😐" and he came running down to work early to help. I was so thankful because my mind was like a scrambled egg, my brain was basically soup. 😂

I actually impressed myself though because all my money was bang on, the only thing I'd forgot to do was move a small amount of money from one place to another and I found that mistake rather quickly and then my shift ended and I stood up and said "right, I've earned a tattoo!" Left my stuff at work and toddled off to get one in the name of stress relief! 😂😂😂

When I came back to collect my stuff I was feeling much better and I walked back home and have literally sat here for a while like "what the fuck was this day." I will legit sleep like a freakin baby tonight.

[harlowsbby]

No love ( euphoria inspired fic )

"Oh you're crying you're fucking crying Neelam you're the one that's hurt !?" You yelled at Neelam as you approached her Metta instantly holding you back.

"Y/N come on Y/N chill out." Metta told you as you rolled your eyes pulling your hand out her grip.

“Metta please I love you but please." You told her and she sighed raising her hands a sign she's done trying to hold you back.

"You're such a self centered bitch Neelam you and Jack you guys can both have one another.” You spat at her as Neelam whimpered trying her best not to cry.

"You have the nerve to cry right now Neelam? Are you kidding me you sleep with my man and now you wanna cry it's bad enough you're his fucking manger I'm gonna fuck him up and you." You yelled at Neelam and went to reach for her but she just barley got away from your hand and was dashing towards one of the rooms in the venue.

You quickly ran after her with Metta right behind you Metta knew what damage you could and can cause when pissed off but she wasn’t sure if she could stop it meanwhile Jack was still on stage performing. Urban caught glance of you speeding walking after Neelam and decided to follow you all.

“Open the fucking door Neelam open the fucking door.” You yelled through the door and banging on it. Neelam bit her lip looking at herself in the mirror in the bathroom she was drunk that night so was Jack they didn’t know what they were doing till the next morning she felt like shit but Jack and her kept it going and now all she wanted to do was burry herself alive and stay there.

“Please Neelam please just open the door if you care about our friendship please come out I don’t care about Jack please Neelam.” You begged her as you rested your head on the bathroom door and screamed and banging on it harder Metta didn’t know what to do she was hurt for you she rubbed your arms trying to calm you down she so badly wanted to hurt Jack and Neelam but she knew right now you needed a friend a true friend.

“Hey hey what’s going on out here ? Jack just got done performing what the fuck is happening.” Urban said he watched with shocked eyes as you turned around from the door and cried into Metta’s chest Metta gave Urban a sorry look.

“Jack and Neelam well they slept together and we know this because someone sent Y/N a message on Instagram with video proof of Jack and Neelam kissing in the corner of one of the clubs and then fucking in one of the bathrooms.” Metta said and hearing Metta say that made you cry even harder in her chest as you gripped her tighter.

“And she has the nerve to fucking sit up here and cry you’re fucking my man and you act like you can’t open the fucking door how long have you been fucking him Neelam.” You yelled and wiggled the door lock trying your best to open it but when you couldn’t get it opened you let out a frustrated scream making Urban grab you.

“Y/N come on we’ll do this shit on the bus kid not right now please you’re stronger than this.” Urban said as you cried into his chest he looked at Metta who looked at him with a frown placed on her lips they both weren’t sure what was going to happen now.

“You’re a coward Neelam you know that I would have never ever done this to you. You don’t even care enough about our friendship fuck you Neelam.” You said as Urban gently took your hand and leading you outside to the bus.

Once Jack got off stage he looked around for everyone but he couldn’t find anybody he got a text from Neelam saying that you knew about everything his heart rate started beating immediately how the fuck did you find out about them.

He called Neelam immediately and she answered right away.

“Jack she knows about us they all know Urban and Metta I’m pretty sure they told everyone else I feel like fucking shit.” Neelam cried into the phone but Jack honestly in that moment didn’t give a fuck what she had to say his focus was on You.

“Yeah well where are you Neelam the bus ? We gotta go I need to find Y/N.” Jack spoke into the phone walking outside of the venue trying to find you or anybody at this point.

“I’m in the bus but a different one the one that 2fo and them are staying in I’ll see you later yeah I love you.” Neelam said into the phone as she sat on the couch on the tour bus.

“Yeah I’ll see you later bye.” Jack said as he hung up the phone and going into the other bus you were in. Once he opened the door he was met by Metta rubbing your knees trying to calm you down and Urban scratching his head and You his baby girl crying her heart out all of your guys heads turned when you saw Jack come in all you saw was red.

“Why the fuck are you here you got some nerve showing your fucking face after you fuck your fucking manger and cheat on me huh ?!!” You yelled at Jack getting up and stomping towards him Jack just stood there a frown on his face he felt fucking guilty he never meant to hurt you he knew you’d never forgive him.

“Now you don’t have shit to fucking say now ? Fuck you Jack Harlow looking at you right now makes me physically fucking ill 4 years Jack down the drain for her !!! Are you fucking with me.” You yelled at Jack as you balled your fist up and hitting his chest and crying he tried to grab your arms but you screamed pushing him back.

“Don’t fucking touch me ever I hate you Jack I truly and honestly hate you.” You spat at him.

“Just leave Jack can’t you tell she doesn’t want you here right now just fucking go.” Urban said as Jack nodded giving you one last look he watched how you laid on Metta’s lap as she coo’d down at you trying her best to calm you down before he felt.

He sighed once outside he fucked up he fucked up bad he wasn’t sure if there was a way to even get shit right with you but he was tempted to try.

[rommahh]

{this show was off the walls. He looked so good. And the energy was just??}

You stood uncomfortably at your flights gate with Harry. After being with Harry for five shows, your anxiety had reached a peak leaving you to be faced with one of your worst panic attacks before the St. Louis show. Harry didn’t want you to feel so much mental pressure so he suggested that you go home, he even bought you a ticket without consulting with you.

Your shoulders were tense as you stood rigid next to Harry. You were beyond upset and sad. You felt like a burden who being sent away to make everyone else feel better.

“Love, it will be ok. I’ll see you in two weeks for the Nashville show.” Harry comments watching your face scrunch up withholding the tears. “I just want you to see your therapist for a few days.”

“I don’t wanna go. It was one panic attack. Ive done fine every other night and on the bus.” You huff not making eye contact with Harry. “You’re just sending me away.”

Harry feels his heart break in two. “That’s not-“

“We are now welcoming our first class passengers.” He was cut off by the attendant. You grab your duffle on the ground, opening your phone to the electronic ticket. You moved to get in the line but Harry was quick to grab your arm to stop you. You couldn’t stop the tears from welling in your eyes at the look of hurt on his face.

“You’re not even gonna say goodbye?” He whispers.

“Why should I? You said it for me when you purchased the ticket without even talking to me about it. I’ll call you when I land, I love you and goodbye.” You snatched your arm away, rushing to the slowly growing line of passengers.

Harry watched in defeat as you trudged onto the bridge that boarded onto the plane. You felt those traitorous tears push past the surface, your feet feeling like they were dragging behind you- wanting you to go back to your heart.

The entire flight home was painful. All hours spent on the flight looking lifelessly out of the window. Harry put you in first class but none of the comfortable perks could make you happy.

It was weird to walk back into your home with no one there walking in with you or even waiting for you. The house was dark and quiet and you felt scared to even be in the stupid beach side mansion all alone. Times like this made you regret moving in with Harry. This house only felt like home when he was there, any other time felt like your own personal solitary confinement.

Hey lovie, hope you’re flight went well. Having groceries delivered to the house for you. I love you and miss you. Xxx H.

You scoffed. That anger from before bubbling within you. He misses you? You left him on read, the pettiness easing the anger.

Harry’s eyebrows shot up at the small read notification under his sent message. He waited a few moments thinking maybe you just forgot to press send. Minutes turned to hours and hours turned into the next day.

You sat at the dining room table watching the waves eat up the sand and pull granules away at a time. Your laptop sat in front of you after you finished a telehealth therapy appointment. A ring sounded from the laptop signaling that someone was FaceTiming you.

Harry’s icon popped up in the corner of the screen. You hesitated before answering. You couldn’t bare to look at yourself in the camera knowing you looked a mess. Your eyes swollen from the sobbing during therapy. Harry thought you looked beautiful nonetheless.

“Good morning baby.” He broke the silence.

“Hi.” Was all you could muster. This wasn’t the two of you. You both would normally fill a space with sound and giggles and now it was just silence.

“How did you sleep?” He asks. He looked as disheveled as you. Hair messy, face red and puffy.

“Fine.” You didn’t look at him, playing with the frayed edges of your Live on Tour hoodie. Harry huffed in frustration.

“Is this how it will be from now on?” He snapped. Your head snapped up out of shock.

“You’re getting at me like somethings my fault!” You snapped back.

“Well, we didn’t leave on the right foot.”

“You sent me away!” You retaliate.

“No, I did not. You had a panic attack before I went on stage. I had to come on stage late because I was consoling you.”

You flinched at his comment and tone of voice.

“So it’s my fault? I can’t control the panic attacks. It wasn’t like I conjured one up for attention.” His lack of response broke you. “Really?”

“No, I don’t think you did it for attention but it’s a lot Y/N. I want to take you on tour with me but it’s a lot for me and you know it’s a lot for you.” He tries. His words hurt though. You’ve felt like a burden your entire life and to feel that way because of the love of your life hurts even more.

“Ok. Um, I have to go.” You choke out. Harry shakes his head, the weight of his words catching up with you.

“I didn’t mean it in that way. I love you and I only want to protect you.”

“Yeah, protect me by sending me away when things get tough. I’m sorry for being a burden Harry.” You hang up before he could get the last word in.

Harry sat on his hotel bed shocked. He doesn’t know how things escalated the way they did. He made her feel like a burden. His body racks with sobs as he thinks of how his love must be feeling.

The day of Harry’s Philly show you felt uneasy. You didn’t like not being with Harry. You got so used to your preshow rituals with him. It hurt to be left out after being so involved.

Harry felt the same way. His regret evident in the way that he couldn’t stop blowing up your phone with short apologies and messages. He woke up alone in the hotel room on the day of a show feeling like utter crap.

His stomach was in knots and his heart couldn’t stop pounding. Normally before a show you both would share a light meal and have small discussions about nothing. You both would take silly selfies together or watch tiktoks. But now it was just Harry.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, impulsively clicking your contact to face time.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up…” He mutters. He lets out a sigh of relief when your face reveals.

“Hi, Harry.” You murmur, your face squished into a pillow, his pillow because it smells good.

“Hi-hi baby.” He stutters fidgeting in his seat.

“What do you need?”

“I need you. You’re not a burden. I want you here, not there but here. I have a show in a few hours and all I can think about is how you’re not here with me.” He cries. You sit up in the bed, tearing up watching your boyfriend cry. His shoulders shook with the sobs that wracked through his chest.

“Harry, please breathe. Your gonna hurt yourself.” You try to calm him down but can tell it’s not working.

“Come back.” He whimpers.

“I-I think I’m going to stay home until Nashville. We both need a breather from each other and I know I need to see my psychiatrist and probably get some new anxiety medication. Which will take the two weeks to kick in you know?” You reason. Harry wiped his face of tears nodding understandingly.

“Ok. I miss you though. I fucked up horribly by making you feel less than. I know you’re not a burden and I’d do anything for you. The stress of tour is starting to weigh on me and I took it out in you when I shouldnt have. I also thought I was keeping you safe by sending you home, but I shouldn’t have done that. Because we are a team, I shouldn’t be making choices for you.”

“Thank you for apologizing. I understand why you did what you did. You were trying to protect me, I know. I love you Bubby.” Harry felt his world come back together at the nickname, a signal that you two would be alright. “You have a show in like three hours, you need to get ready. Eat some food, drink water please, and I’ll go and scroll through TikTok and send you all of my faves ok?”

“Ok. Thank you for being everything to me. I couldn’t do what I do today if I didn’t have you in my life.” Harry’s sincerity made your heart swell.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We will be alright. Now go!” You urged him to hang up the phone. He gave you one last smile before hanging up.

Watching Harry through some Instagram live wasn’t what you had planned for but it felt good to see him. He even wore the outfit you picked out with Harry lambert, the blue and pink paying homage to fine line. You’re heart gushes when he tells the crowd that he’s feeling really happy.

The next day you have another therapy appointment with your regular therapist, you even phone in Harry to join the call. You felt warm on the inside as your therapist reassured that you and Harry’s relationship was on the right path. She even said that you and Harry were meant to be together.

She didn’t have to tell Harry that for him to already know that information. I mean he had the ring sitting in his pocket to prove it.

[negansbackdoorwhore]

Kiss and Make Up

Summary: Negan and you have a fight, so you confide in a close friend but someone isn’t happy about that

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of alcohol, rough smut

It was four in the morning and still no signs of Negan coming home. You called and sent tons of text messages but no answer. You couldn’t sleep at all as you were worried and heard the door unlocking.

“Negan? Are you okay?”

He was all wobbly as he walked into the kitchen flipping on the light.

“Hey baby. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wasn’t sleeping actually.”

“Oh really? That’s nuts.”

He slurred his speech and kept giggling. His clothes were all wrinkled and had a stain on his shirt. You looked at him pull various things out of the fridge.

“What are you doing?”

“Why is there no cheese? I swore we had some.”

“Negan why-“

“Here hold this, I need a sandwich.”

He was practically tossing everything on the counter and it was about to make a huge mess.

“Here, I’ll make you a sandwich.”

“Really? Aww you’re so sweet.”

He hugged from behind and kissed your cheek as you tried to organize everything.

“I’m not being sweet. You’re just making a mess.”

“Oh no you’re angry.”

You moved away from his hold and watched him lean on the counter for balance.

“You’re damn right I’m angry. I was worried about you. I called so many times.”

“My phone died. And besides Simon invited me to drink it’s no big deal baby.”

“It so is a big deal! Negan I worry about you and not to mention you have work tomorrow.”

“Oh so I can’t go out and drink?”

“You can but, you at least have to let me know about these things in case something happens.”

“Fuck the sandwich, I’m going to bed.”

He stormed off and you heard him slam the bedroom door shut. You let out a frustrated sound and went to rest on the couch.

-

Negan had the worst hangover when he first woke up. He heard you moving around the bathroom and went to greet.

“Morning baby.”

You didn’t bother answering him and moved past him in as you tried to grab your purse.

“Seriously? I know I was an ass last night but-“

“I don’t care to hear it. I’m going out, so if you need me call me. Oh wait, your phone is dead.”

“C’mon Y/N, I’m sorry.”

You didn’t respond as you made your exit and Negan groaned as you left his apartment. His head was still pounding and made his way to get some clothes. He downed so much coffee and painkillers so he could beat this hangover, he wanted to try and find you.

-

“And that’s why I’m here pissed off.”

“I understand where you’re coming from but don’t you think you should hear the guy out?”

You sipped at your lemonade as one of your close guys sat and ate brunch with you.

“I just can’t help it. I worry so much about him.”

“Because you love him and he has to feel the same about you.”

You let your friend continue explaining the other side of what Negan might have been thinking. Slowly you started to understand and felt more at peace.

“Trust me. Hear him out and let him apologize, he could have tons of reasons.”

“You’re right. I’ll go back after we finish here.”

“Good. Because I honestly have never seen you so happy in a relationship before.”

You both continue enjoying the food and laughed a little. It was until you heard someone yell.

“Hey!”

You looked over your shoulder to see Negan making his way to the outdoor table.

“Negan?”

“Who the fuck are you?”

At the moment Negan’s attention was on your friend and not you as he yelled at him. You both flinched when his hands slammed on the table.

“Negan stop!”

“Fuck no, who is this guy? You find someone who’s boring as fuck?”

“I’m just a friend dude. Nothing else.”

You try to explain but his anger was clouding his judgement and he reached to flip a plate into your friend’s lap. Of course he stands up to see the mess and now everyone was staring.

“Negan! He’s just a friend, now you come on.”

You yanked at his arm and pulled him away from the scene. His breathing was heavy and held his hand trying to calm him down. It must’ve worked for time since he kept quiet on the walk back to his apartment.

“Negan you can’t just do that.”

He remained quiet as his hand squeezed yours on the elevator ride up to his floor. You opened the door and Negan finally spoke up upon entering.

“I do what I fucking want okay? Look I’m sorry for last night. I was drunk.”

“No shit.”

“I get it okay. But I was already fucking pissed about this morning and you leaving, now I go to find you sitting with some dickhead.”

“He’s just a friend. You really think I’d let anyone have me but you?”

Those words made Negan smirk and you knew exactly what he was thinking about.

“Really? So you saying you’re mine?”

He said a shit eating grin and stepped in front of you being close enough to touch you.

“I’ve been yours since we started dating.”

“Fuck yeah you have. You’re still my good girl.”

He reached to hold the side of your neck to pull you up to kiss him. You wanted to be mad but how could you resist him, he’s so damn hot. Your arms held on his neck as he picked up your thighs to wrap on his waist so he can lay you flat on the cold wooden dining table.

His body grinding against yours and you pulled at his shirt to toss it off. He laughed and stood to undo his belt and watched you throw off your own shirt. He licked his lips and helped you remove your shoes as they were kicked off somewhere on the floor. Negan felt impatient as be yanked away your jeans from your legs and dropped them on the floor. His hand teasing over your panties causing you to moan.

“Yeah baby, this right here is fucking mine. All of you is fucking mine.”

You whimpered as he shoved the material to the side so he touch your aching center. His mouth going to mark up your chest and neck. It hurt for only a moment as he left dark hickies and shifted you by your hips to have you bend over for him. He stood tall behind you and pulled your panties down to your knees. His hand going to give your ass a good smack.

“Oh baby, you know I love this view. Damn you are fucking fine, go on now spread open for me.”

He said while still kneading your ass in his hands and moaning at you opening your legs. You felt him pressing his tip against your entrance and groaning as his teased you by running his cock against your slit.

“Oh shit you’re so wet. It’s fucking hot baby.”

He leaned down to kiss the shell of your ear before taking a hold of your hips to thrust inside you. He bit your earlobe and moaned at how good you felt. His chest pressed on your back and you felt his chest hair tickle your shoulder blades. He kept close as his hips were moving to slap against your skin.

“Oh yeah, that’s it take my cock baby.”

Your arm reached to touch him but he leaned up to pin your wrists against the table and fucked you harder. You moaned loudly and could feel him going deeper inside you. His own noises were so hot it made your pussy throb on him. The new pressure made him bute his lip and moved to flip you onto your back. You shivered at the feeling of cold wood and before anything you sat up to bring into a sloppy kiss. He groaned into your mouth and pulled your legs to his shoulders. You hands held tightly on his shoulders and feeling him pull away to put his cock back into you. His nose buried in your neck as he bites on your skin to suppress his moans. His hand holding the small of your back while the other securing one of your legs in position. You felt breathless as he moved from your shoulder to stare down between your bodies with a smirk.

“Fuck me, look how good that pussy swallows me. You fucking love this don’t you?”

“Yes! Negan, yes!”

You let out a whimper when one his hands moved between the small space and brought his thumb to massage your clit. Your grip tightened as his breathing became shaky and his hips moved harder.

“Say you’re mine. Go on baby say it.”

“I’m yours.”

“Say it again.”

“I’m yours.”

“Oh yeah, one more time baby c’mon.”

“I’m yours. I belong to you. Oh!”

You both felt one another’s orgasms hit deep, Negan rested his forehead on your should and let out a heavy breath when he came inside you. You trembled his arms as he held you both up for a short moment. His cock softened inside you and he moved rest your legs on the table and pulled out.

He reached to wipe the few sweat droplets on his forehead and helped you stand. He smiled to himself as he saw your legs wobble.

“You good baby?”

“I’ll be fine. Just need to lie down.”

He kissed your lips and picked you up bridal style while nudging his nose against yours.

“You forgive me?”

Taglist:

@iluvneganandjamie

@hail-yourselves

[uni-artsssy]

Avengers Group Chat

Avengers group chat

10members

Clint: can someone bring me toilet paper

✔️read by everyone @ 9:03am

Tony:tf

✔️seen by everyone @ 9:04am

————— Saturday ———————-

11:45pm Y/n has sent a video:

“Guys I don't know what to doooohoooohoo! *gasp* I don’t know how I got here in the car in the water because I fell asleep and woke up the next thing I know is I’m stuck in the car in the middle of the ocean ANDTHEDAMNDOOREONTOPEEEEEENNN!!!

*sniff* THECARISFILLINGWITHWATERIMGONNADIE!I DON'T WANNA DIE!! *sniff**gah*gasp* if *hic* this *hic* is my last*gasp* m-moments then… I-I have some t-thing to get o-off my chest. I want to apologize to Sam...and Bucky… I-I was the one to crash y-your boat in the doc.I-it wasn’t Bucky’s fault-he wasn’t even on the boat when it happened. A-And Bucky… I’m s-sorry for letting Sam believe it was you...even though I didn’t outright say it was you.

This is it… my final moments are going to be spent alone, cold, wet and in the dark night *gasp* I love you all...goodbye”

✔️seen by Bucky @11:46pm

11:55pm Y/N sent a video:

“*sniff* so...um turns out-I’m still alive. I made it *awkwardly smiles* um *sniff* I am okay, um I had called 9/11 before I sent the video and right after I had sent it, *sniff* the people arrived...so-now that that’s out of the way...I’d like to take back my apology. Sam I swear to god I did not crash your boat it was one hundred percent Bucky’s fault. Um and Tony...if you see this just know that it was...also Bucky’s fault for smashing your helmet. Uh one hundred percent his...he used it as a soccer ball don’t ask me how I know. Um yeah anyway Buck I know you're the only one up right now so can you come and get me? Thanks”

✔️seen by Bucky @11:57pm

Bucky: :(

✔️read by Y/N @ 11:59pm

Bucky: I’m on my way

✔️read by Y/N @ 11:59pm

———————— Sunday ————————-

Tony: what the actual fuck?

Read by sam, steve, peter, nat, bucky, y/n @6:00am

Nat: omfg

Steve: Are you alright?

Steve: did you make it home okay?

Y/N: :D

Steve: ??

Clint: y’all hear screaming?

Sam: that was me

Sam: YOU CRASHED MY BOAT???

Bucky: See

Bucky: I told u it wasn’t me

Sam: SHE CRASGED MU BSOT

Clint: bro, stop yelling we get it

Clint: ur angry

Sam: SHe CHEASG ME BAUY

Sam: ur lucky ur a kid :(

Nat: you need to calm down lol

Bucky: I also want an apology

Sam: didn’t she apologize in the vid

Buck: I want one from u

Sam:...

Sam: no

Bucky: he said that he would use my metal arm to repair the hole in the boat

Y/N: Watt??? XD

Sam: U CRASGD MY BOAT

Nat: uhg

Clint: stop shouting dude

Steve:...

Y/N: ??

Sam: Don’t play dumb u confessed to it

Y/N: no i didn’t it was bucky remember

Steve: ur not about to do this

Bucky: y am i always blamed for everything :(

Bucky: I can’t catch a break

Sam: u said it in the video

Y/N has deleted a video

Y/N:What video

Sam: X(

Clint: u did not just delete it TuT

Tony: dont worry i saved it

Y/N: peter i can see you reading the messages back me up here

Pete:...

Tony: about my helmet being used as a soccer ball…

Y/N: Bucky did it

Bucky: why would I do something like that????

Peter: wait how do you even end up in the water?

Y/N: I was sleep walking and I hopped in tony’s car and drove it into the water

Tony: my car?? You drove my car into the water

Y/n:...

Y/n: it was bucky

Bucky left the chat

Y/n: anyways i got to go get ready for my date. Bye

Tony: a date?

Clint: :O

Nat: Since when?

Steve: with who?

Y/n has left the chat

[hex-obsession]

Silver Lining- Three

word count- 2,389

content warning- language, sexual acts (potentially rough)

____________________________________________

Nothing like getting pulled out of a deep sleep to go repair bulky, strident machinery and run, literally, for your life. You were, physically and mentally, in a fog. Worn out from the emotional runaround mere hours ago, you weren’t your usual bubbly self. To make matters worse, Leon was here and saw the discomfort on your face. Who wouldn’t? You were always bad at masking your feelings.

“Everything okay y/n?” Chills trickled through your ears and down the back of your neck at the soothing hum of his voice. It was too early for this, but at least you were fully awake now.

“Y-yeah, just tired.” Your hand defensively moves to your other arm, sending him the opposite message of ‘I’m fine’. Leon tenderly places his hand over yours, ducking slightly to be eye level with you. Instead of speaking, you just stare back at him blankly. Mind racing yet empty, you're completely lost for words. You forgot how to even speak, let alone move your tongue. Finally, your sense of self-preservation kicks in and you blurt out “I’m fine, really. Just in a haze, I guess. Really tired.” You force a smile, praying he buys it, or at least takes it as a hint not to pry. He’s still staring at you, studying your face and body language. This man was far too perceptive to fall for a lie that poorly executed. Not wanting to interrogate you and possibly upset you further, he let it go. His face relaxed, the puzzled, disapproving expression now replaced by one of empathy and concern.

“If there’s something on your mind, please tell me when you’re ready.” He extends his other arm and gently pulls you toward him, which you do not resist. You sheepishly wrap your arms around him, worried he might feel the pounding in your chest and return to questioning you. You couldn’t help but melt in his arms, which did help calm your nerves some. Consoling each other (let’s be real, it was always him consoling you) was no new feat. His uniform was rough on your cheek, a mix of harsh fabric and dried blood, but you didn’t mind. With your head turned, resting on his chest, you saw Jeff and Laurie coming closer. As much as you wanted to stay in this exact spot forever, you were grateful to direct Leon’s attention to anything other than you long enough to compose yourself. Hands eager to touch him longer, you lovingly rub his back and give his sides a little squeeze before releasing him.

“Sorry, hope we didn’t interrupt anything,” Laurie chimes innocently.

Cheeks ablaze, you jump to defend yourself. “No you’re fine! I’m just feeling a tad under the weather and Leon is a great friend.” You smile, eyes darting back to him only long enough to see he’s staring at you. Fuck, fuck, your face was on fire. Back on Laurie, she ever so slightly squints, so quickly you would’ve missed it if you weren’t excruciatingly observant. Her lips curl at the edges. She knows. You look back to Leon, who is still staring at you. Shit, fuck. You look to your left trying to avoid everyone's gaze. Her dainty hands latch onto you, pulling you into a hug. You stumble slightly, intoxicated by nervousness.

“Oh, sorry love.” She tilts her head back just enough for her mouth to line up with your ear. “Do it.” Her voice is heavy and breathy. It almost startles you, and a nervous chuckle escapes you.

“Th-thanks Laurie. Yeah, I just had a weird dream and I’m feeling really, uh, off.”

Heart racing, you thought it might be trying to escape, the force with which it was beating. You push your hair away from your face, hoping it would make breathing less labored when, you only made it easier to see how flustered you were. A final glance at Leon confirms he is indeed still staring. You’d never been thankful for the entity taking you before, but there’s a first time for everything. The fog surrounds you and the trial ensues, scattering you across the map. Completely disregarding everything other than your feelings, you shake your head and stretch your arms above you. They come down, folding around your head and you stare at the lockers in front of you, eyes out of focus; not actually taking in what you were looking at. A few deep breaths later, you pull yourself together enough to move your feet, one in front of the other. Midwich Elementary School; possibly your favorite of all the entity’s destinations. You recognized your surroundings. This was the locker room. Leaving the second floor was your first goal. As you entered the hallway, a bright light flickered in your face. At the end of the hall, Jeff pointed to the room to his right. You jogged over to him, said brief hellos, and knelt down to work on the repairs together. Shortly thereafter, with little remaining progress, a faint heartbeat echoed in your ears. You peered around the broken wall; no sign of the killer. The generator dings to life and you decide to split up to cover more ground. Jeff drops through a hole in the bathroom across the hall, leading you to divert from your original plan and head toward the other upstairs classrooms. As you near the stairwell, your heartrate increases. Not from the unbearable sexual tension you had for Leon, but the killer was close. You see nothing down the hall to your left, which meant the killer was below you. You sprint ahead, trying to make as little noise as possible. To your dismay, you were detected. Feet heavy on the ground, your footsteps echoed around you. You tripped on something but were far too agile to lose your balance, and never fell. Before rounding the corner, you look behind you to see what terror you were up against this time. A human figure with a red stain; the Legion. Extremely misleading the first time you ran into them. Extremely. You dart left, breaking line of sight. The chemistry lab is your best bet. Dropping through the floor will most likely get him off your trail. To prevent leaving scratch marks, you slow to a brisk walk. Just as you thought you would evade the killer, something grabs you and you lurch backward. Before you could scream, a hand covers your mouth. Leon spins you around to face him and pulls you close. The two of you are pressed tightly together between lockers and a wall. Heart racing, for multiple reasons, you stare at the small space where the floor is visible. Confused, the red light was bouncing around, taunting you. All that was on your mind was the heat radiating from all the areas your bodies were touching. The sudden realization that Leon had his arms around you, protecting you, made you jerk your head back to look at him. His eyes, normally brooding, were instead intently locked onto you with, was that, adoration? You didn’t want to get the wrong idea, or make assumptions rooted in your own feelings. A gen on the other side of the school is completed, and you see the Legion vault a window into the courtyard, leaving the two of you alone in the hall. Although the killer was nowhere near you, your heart was racing, painfully. You were agonizingly aware of the recurring flush that filled your face. You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes, so you focused on his neck instead. So smooth and inviting. Every fiber of your being wanted to kiss it and bite it and moan his name into it. Your legs felt as if they would give way beneath you at any moment. You straightened your back to put more pressure on the wall behind you, allowing you to bend your legs slightly to prevent them from buckling under you. He had put himself slightly to your left as to

make sure he could block you from any attacks, if need be. If either of you moved forward so much as an inch, your legs would begin lacing together. Noticing how close your hips were to his sent a rush of heat to your crotch. Sick with suspense, you finally force yourself to look up. Before meeting his eyes, you analyze his lips. You craved them on your own. Your tongue on his; tasting each other.

“Y/n…” You’d never been turned on by your own name before. It was less your name and more the way it eased out of his mouth. Longing, impatient. Watching his lips emit your name made you crazed. You bit your bottom lip, wishing it were him biting it instead. Almost gasping for air, you take a deep breath and look into his eyes. Chills breeze over your body like a crisp fall evening. Muscles so weak you could barely move, you ease your hands around his waist, locking your fingers behind him. Your desire for him was borderline primitive at this point. If given the chance to pull him into one of the classrooms and fuck him right there on one of the desks, you’d take it without contemplation. Hell, you might initiate it in a second. Your pussy was throbbing, begging for him. You shifted your legs again, intertwining them completely. The pressure of his thigh on your clit sent electric chills through your legs to your toes. A short, pleased sigh escaping you drew his attention. His head eased forward slowly, sealing the distance between the two of you. His nose grazed yours and you gently nudged into it. You were panting in his face, which you would come to feel embarrassed about later. He continued forward until you felt his lips brush against yours. It tickled in the most satisfying way possible, like a flower against velvet.

“Yes,” you whispered against his lips, and just like that, every worry or care in the world vanished.

Softly, he pressed his lips to yours. It was electric to say the bare minimum. You took a staggered breath causing him to pull away. Your eyes shot open, darting wildly between his facial features, searching for any indication of regret. Instead, he places a hand on your cheek and pulls you into him. This time your lips met, they were ravenous. You suck his bottom lip into your mouth and bite down. Not enough to cause damage, but enough to cause him to let out a low rumbling moan into your mouth which sent you over the edge. Your non-dominant hand leaves his back and latches onto his gorgeous blonde hair. It was so soft in your fingers, like silk. You tilted your head and ran your tongue across the lip you still had trapped between your teeth. You released it which allowed Leon to open his mouth against yours and slide his tongue inside. Oh God, he tasted better than you’d imagined. Fleshy yet almost sweet, like the faintest hint of cinnamon. Your head was spinning and you felt light-headed from the stimulation (and the fact there was a good amount of blood in the lower half of your body). You were fixated on the fact that his saliva was in your mouth. You’d end up swallowing it, and vice versa. Your grip on his hair tightened and you let out a faint whimper. The combination made him growl with pleasure. His hands roamed your body briefly, coming to a stop at your waist. Seemingly effortlessly, he bent forward slightly, just enough to put his hands directly under your ass and prop you up against the wall, tongues still tangled. You wrapped your legs around him, wanting him to be even closer. You wanted, needed, him inside you. Given the new position, you could feel his engorged cock between your legs. You were almost- almost- concerned by the size of it. From what you could feel, he was well endowed. The hand on his back lowered to his ass cheek, which you graciously squeezed. You pulled him forward into you, just slightly at first, increasing the pressure of his bulge on you. You released and did it again. In any normal situation, you’d have never made a grown, fully clothed man grind on you like a horny pubescent boy, but these feelings for him had been pent up so long that they mutated from a sweet crush to full blown irrefutable lust. He caught on to what you were doing and abruptly removed his tongue from your mouth, leaving you confused and wanting all the more. His left hand came up to your chin and turned your head to the side, allowing him to press his lips to your ear.

Barely above a whisper, just a susurration, “You want me that bad, huh?” he taunted you. You were incapable of feeling embarrassment at the moment, brain flooded with desire. The warmth of his breath in your ear made you salivate. In a different setting, you would have begged to choke on his dick right now.

“Yeah? So what?” was the best retaliation you could think of in the moment. He chuckled; lips still pressed to your ear. The hand on your cheek traced your jaw and slid down to your neck. His slender, graceful fingers wrapped around your throat and gave it an intoxicating squeeze. Just hard enough to make you gasp but not hurt.

“I want to hear you beg for me,” his deep, warm voice filling your ear.

Your eyes shut and you tilt your head back in utter bliss, letting out a satisfied moan. He responded by nibbling your earlobe, which made you curse delightedly under your breath. Wanting to look at his irresistible face, you opened your eyes. Only, instead, you were greeted by eight beady black eyes peering down at you.

Snapping out of your drunken state, you blurt, “Oh fuck, Leon, the birds.”

He looks up to them with resentment and lets out a frustrated sigh. “Can we pick this up again later?” Ocean eyes begging you.

“You bet your fucking ass we’re picking this up later,” you demand before crashing your lips into his once more. “Now let’s get the fuck out of here before the whole flock follows us.”

____________________________________________

Silver Lining masterlist

[pastxlscorp]

Bully! Mitsuya Fanfic (pt.3)

Chapter III: Abidance

✿ Word Count: 3.2k

✿ Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x reader

✿ Topics covered: (Eventual) Enemies to lovers trope, Hakkai POV, Y/N POV, Mitsuya POV, tsundere-Mitsuya, bully! Mitsuya, fem. reader, minor manga spoilers, slight angst

Awakening from his slumber, he found that the woman was no longer taking up space in his bed. He heaved a sigh of relief, only to, unfortunately, see a message from an unknown number on his phone saying “Text me when you’re free ;)” Ignoring the text, he found he had a message from Hakkai and remembered that he had abandoned him to sleep with that damn woman. However, Hakkai didn’t confront him about it, but instead acted as if nothing happened.

🗨️ Hakkai: Is the party still on for today? (Sent 2:00am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t feeling my best, I should have let you know. (Sent 10:00am)

🗨️ Hakkai: No hard feelings. Ya feeling better now Taka-chan? (Sent 10:01am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Not really, but it’ll pass. What’d you end up doing yesterday after I left? (Sent 10:02am)

Picking up on the subtle curiosity of Mitsuya’s text, it became clear to Hakkai that he did see him with you. As much as he admired Mitsuya, the anger building inside of him got the best of him. Therefore, in response, he chose a reply that he knew would get Mitsuya boiling.

🗨️ Hakkai: Caught Y/N outside of your class, had a wonderful lunch with her! She’s so nice, Taka-chan! Why are ya so mean to her? (Sent 10:04am)

Vigorous fingers typed in reply.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Why the fuck were you hanging around that slut? She’s just gonna try and get in your pants. What did she say to you? (Sent 10:04am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Hakkai? Hello? (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Sorry Taka-chan, I’m back. She didn’t say nuthin bad, actually she was so sweet. She saw I was alone and we both had some tea together back at her place. Ended up sleeping over, I’m still here actually! (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: BACK AT HER PLACE? I told you, she’s just trying to get in your pants and you let her win! I can’t believe you let a whore like her win you over, Hakkai! Where the fuck is your brain? She probably was enjoying every minute of your sorry ass. (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Who said we slept together, Taka? (Sent 10:05am)

Silence enveloped the room.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Sorry… I just assumed that’s what you meant by sleeping over. (Sent 10:07am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Awh, it’s okie Taka, I know you were only looking out for me. (Sent 10:07am)

Absolutely, looking out for Hakkai. That’s what this was, that’s what he was doing. There couldn’t have been any other reason why he was so upset at the thought of you sleeping together. He was just being a good friend.

-----

┃ “Y/N!” the hoarse voice spoke to you, feeling the smooth cloth of his jacket pressed against your face as you bumped into him.

You looked up only to recognize Hakkai, kind thoughts flooding your mind, diminishing your anger stemming from your interaction with Mitsuya moments before. He grinned at you giddily, eyes relaxing any sort of tension left in your body. You slowly began to forget why you were mad and allowed yourself to indulge in his presence.

┃ “Good afternoon Hakkai! Waiting for Mitsuya?”

┃ “Mhm, you takin’ Designer 101 too, right?”

┃ “Yup! How come you aren’t taking it? You’re very fashionable, y’know?”

┃ “You’re too kind,” He giggled, his grin beginning to somehow grow wider on his cheeks as he raised his hand to pat your head.

┃ “I’m serious! Why don’t you join the class? It’s not too late, the second semester is about to start!” You eagerly pushed on, rejoicing in the positive energy he emitted.

┃ “ ‘m not really into making clothes, just showing them off...” He let out a hefty chuckle before getting cut off by you.

┃ “You don’t have to be good at making them! Some students choose to learn how to stylize different clothing and patterns, it’s all about the latest trends.”

┃ “Really?” He went silent for a few moments, smile morphing into a straight line as he contemplated your words carefully. Not to fret, as his smile quickly returned as he said: “Well then, might have to ask Taka-chan to help me sign up!”

You both shared a laugh and began to discuss the enrollment process in order for Hakkai to join the class-- if he were to drop another class, what class would he drop, or would he simply add it to his current schedule? While your conversation was nothing more than an innocent developing friendship, unbeknownst to you, Mitsuya had witnessed it all and declared it once more another betrayal. You were such a slut, flirting with anyone and everyone. Irrationality began to consume him-- instead of seeing your interaction with Hakkai for what it truly was, a genuine developing friendship, his brain refused to comprehend your behavior with other men. He never got to the level of comfortability you had with Takemichi, and he had lost the sense of ease you had with him to Hakkai and god, god did it piss him off. Unfortunately for that kohai, she was just another doll for him to play with just until he could get your attention again. Even a single drop of your attention, your attachment, it was enough to drive him for weeks just to be able to be near you again. Your kind words squeezing his heart tighter and tighter the more you spoke, your laughter ringing in his ears at a corny joke he told you during club meetings, it enveloped him into infatuation which later developed into a larger feeling. Such a large feeling over the progressing months that when he began bullying you, when your lack of presence and absences during meetings began to grow, an emptiness began to root in his heart, waiting for you to touch it once more and let it grow.

He could go on and on listing things about you-- the way he loved your sense of fashion, the way he loved your sense of humor, your compassion to helping others, your intellect that allowed you to read everyone like a book, everyone except him. Why couldn’t you see that he didn’t hate you? Oh, but that jealousy, the first time he’d admit that it was jealousy, it gripped him so tightly around his neck that it felt suffocating. Every shove, every clasp of your hand, your wrist, your chain, your chain, it made his heart shutter seeing that dead watery look in your eye, but your attention was like a drug that he just had to keep getting more of. It would never be enough to satisfy him, not until he could call you his and you would call him yours. He pitied using them, he really did, but he needed someone to satiate his needs. He was a womanizer, after all-- if one left he would just charm another into his bed. They all had high respect for Mitsuya, his intellect, his charm, his skill, and his kindness. Yet no matter how hard he tried, all those women, they were never you and they could never try and be you. He found that he no longer sought sex for his own pleasure anymore, but for your own, pretending so desperately that the one trembling out of pleasure beneath him was you. Imagining, no, fantasizing that he was making you happy and leaving you satisfied.

Upon seeing your interaction, he quickly left with his kohai for their own exchange, leaving Hakkai unfortunately confused as he waved you goodbye, patiently waiting for his friend to meet him. You were still on campus because you had taken additional extracurricular activities to build up your transcript to make up for your absences in Mitsuya’s Home-economics club. At first, you attempted to make it through the club meetings but he made every single one as unbearable as possible. The second semester, could it come any sooner? Hakkai, too focused on organizing his schedule with you previously, had failed to notice Mitsuya leaving with a woman. He waited, he waited, and he waited, coming to a good hour until he realized Mitsuya wouldn’t have left him waiting for this long without a heads up. He looked at his phone, expecting some sort of contact-- a phone call, a message, anything. All that awaited him was several unread messages from group chats and friends, none of them from Taka-chan. He sighed, placing his phone away just as he noticed your presence once more, planting a fake smile on his face to disguise his obvious disappointment. Unfortunately for him, his smile only instantly alerted you something was wrong.

┃ “Hakkai? Why are you still here, weren’t you supposed to be meeting Mitsuya?”

┃ His phony smile stood in place as tears began to fill his eyes. He croaked: “T-taka-chan left me. Do you think he’s mad at me for sumthin’, Y/N? I don’t ‘member doin’ anything.”

You instantly rushed over to comfort him, witnessing what appeared to be an intimidating giant become undone into a fragile teddy bear at the thought he had upset his best friend. Your disdain only kept growing for Mitsuya, first it was his lack of maturity during class, and now he had abandoned his best friend for whatever reason it was. Hakkai was a sweetheart, you couldn’t imagine what he may have done to upset someone. Therefore, you came to the conclusion Mitsuya had thrown a tantrum of sorts and took it out on him. It irked you, however, Mitsuya always remained respectful and loving to his best friend in addition to Yasuda-san, so you couldn’t help but raise your brow wondering what got him so upset for him to entirely ditch his friend. Pushing those thoughts aside, you placed all of your focus on bringing a smile back to Hakkai’s face, gently rubbing his back and placing your forehead against his temple as he crouched over in defeat. You desperately attempted to think of anything to cheer him up.

┃ “Ah, how about some tea?”

┃ “...Tea?”

┃ “Listen, I have absolutely no idea what you like and I want to calm you down so-”

┃ “Tea sounds good.” He said softly, a small smile returning to his face.

You escorted Hakkai comfortably back to your dorm, located on the east wing of the campus. Women and men could go to each other’s dorms, they just had gender-separated wings because it was just easier to contain the chaos if everyone was allowed to sleep with their girlfriend or boyfriend. The boys had their dormitory on the west side, thus you noticeably got some glances as you strolled with Hakkai. Mitsuya was always surrounded by Hakkai and Yasuda-san, so obviously most of your classmates were shocked to see you hanging out with his right-hand man. Were you both sleeping together? Ooh what a scandal (not). Although you didn’t mind the glanes too much, Hakkai on the other hand made sure to shoot down them all with a nasty side glare, quickly causing them to turn their cheek. It was a cute sight after all, seeing how you subconsciously had reached for his hand and began to rub gentle circles on it in order to ease him, which succeeded in doing so. Once you arrived at your dorm, you opened the door and gave him a show of jazz hands as you toured him around your dorm. Your dorm wasn’t the largest compared to his and Mitsuya’s dorm, which made him realize the privilege of not having a financially aided dorm. Your queen bed comfortably rested on the right side of the room, covered with a curtain and fairy lights on the wall behind it. Your desk was not too far away, maybe a good 15 feet across your bed, not too messy but not too neat. It was obvious you were working on something, as there were papers still out and scattered but the rest of the desk had the pens, pencils, and stapled papers sorted in a clean pile. Your pinboard was half-covered with your calendar, cluttered with small sticker reminders while the other half was your schedule, nicely decorated with washi tape sticking it to the board. Next to your bed was a wooden closet and you led him into the cramped kitchen that made him gasp, seeing how you make such a tight space so comfortable and presentable. You had a small glass coffee table in the middle, a small fridge cramped in the kitchen underneath a cupboard and next to a cabinet holding the sink on top. Next to that was a stove with a microwave on top, both color-coordinated black, contrasting the white of the room. You guided him over to the table and motioned for him to sit and he obediently did. Walking over to the countertop holding an old-school kettle, you used it to strain and brew the tea. Gleefully, you dropped a few ice cubes in his glass and carefully poured his tea and then your own, sitting across from him at the table. He took a sip of the tea you had placed in front of him, smiling not at the delightful taste but the awaiting face you had fixated, putting your hands under your chin waiting for a response.

┃ “This tea is delightful, thank you Y/N.” He said warmly and you basked in his praise.

┃ “Ah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the staring. I don’t… really get visitors. It’s nice to have someone over.” You replied, your face beginning to glow a light pink as your lips formed into a slight frown, embarrassed to admit how you had no friends.

┃ “Mm, I should be the one thankin’ you,” The softness in his voice made your crouched posture fix itself as you looked up to him. “You made me sum tea, opened me to your home, all ‘cuz I was sad and overthinkin’. You ain’t hafta do that, but you did anyway. I appreciate ya!” His iconic grin was now back where it belonged as his eyes glazed over you in pure adoration. You smiled in return, both returning to take a sip of your tea.

Hours passed and he was still at your house, you both gossiping and talking like old friends. You discussed your classmates, praising them and disapproving of the behavior of others. He began to confide in you about what he witnessed during his time as the second-division’s vice captain. You eagerly listened to him as he described to you his tales with his brother and his amazing sister Yuzuha, anything and everything was up for debate. At least, almost everything. Despite being the main reason he was so upset, you and Hakkai had not discussed Mitsuya’s treatment of you. He was mentioned in a few gang stories, but it seemed as if Hakkai was opting out of speaking about him out of respect for you. However, his head began to slump, implying he was tired. You grabbed your phone, which had been placed upside down on the coffee table, and looked at the time and saw it was well past midnight. You leaned over to rub Hakkai’s shoulder and you gasped when his head turned back upright, alert as if he just remembered something. Drunk on drowsiness, he began to speak:

┃ “Mmh, y’know Mitsuya used to talk about you a lot. Always went on about this pretty girl who was awfully sweet, really smart…” He trailed off, fighting off the sleep that clung desperately to his eyelids. “He never gave me a name but after club meetings when I woulds wait for him, he would tell me about his conversations. I always saw him looking at ya. What did ya do to make him so pissed off?” Although he had no malicious-intent in his questioning, it was enough to cause goosebumps all over your body.

┃ “I didn’t do anything, ‘kai. Really, nothing different happened that day. All of the sudden, the next day during his club he humiliated me in front of everyone and then made me stay after hours to yell at me even more.” You went silent for a moment, before your curiosity got the best of you and you questioned: “He used to talk about me? Are you sure?”

┃ Ignoring your question, he replied to your initial response. “You didn’t do anythin’ different at all that day?”

┃ You contemplated his question carefully, before realizing the one event that was an outlier to the rest. “I was waiting for my friend outside campus gates that day. He offered to wait with me but I insisted he didn’t, mainly because my friend had said Mitsuya wasn’t very fond of him so it was better if he didn’t see him.”

┃ “Who’s the friend?”

┃ “Hanagaki Takemichi.”

┃ The tired man in front of you took a full minute to process your sentence before bursting out and crying of laughter a few moments later. You looked at him, pure confusion coating your body as he continued to sob. Finally, after a few minutes, he wiped his eyes and sat back up, gleaming at you. “Well that’s your problem, Mitsuya fucking hates Takemichy. Probably spied on ya because he was worried, saw Takemichy, and boom-- he got jealous AHAHA!” He went back to crying of laughter, leaving you a few moments to yourself to process his words.

It was embarrassing to admit how Hakkai was half-asleep in front of you and somehow managed to put together your puzzle of confusion together months after said incident had happened, in under 20 minutes. However, you couldn’t find yourself disagreeing with his theory. Suddenly, Hakkai stopped laughing and looked up at you, all serious.

┃ “Now wait… that’s not funny! He’s been pushing ya around all the time just cuz he’s jealous of you being with other guys?! That’s fucked up! ‘M gonna beat his ass, Y/N! Just for you!”

You now began laughing, taking Hakkai’s hand in yours over the glass countertop and tapping it gently.

┃ “That won’t be necessary, ‘kai. How about we come up with a solution?”

┃ “My solution is beating his a-”

┃ “A non-physical solution.”

┃ He went silent for a few moments, looking away from you to the window to think. You could tell he thought of something when a smirk began to plaster itself on his face. “How about we test our theory?”

┃ “Elaborate.”

┃ “If that pain in my ass is done with whatever it is he’s doing, there was supposta be a party tomorrow. Not at our dorm, but our friend’s. You might have heard of him, Manjiro Sano?”

You responded with silence.

┃ “Mikey. The Invincible Mikey.”

┃ “Not ringing any bells.”

┃ “Brother of Emma Sano. Brother of Izana.”

┃ “Emma Sano is so nice!”

┃ “Captain of the Tokyo Manji Gang, Y/N.”

┃ “Oh.”

┃ “Point is, he’s having a party tomorrow. We could get some revenge, I bring you as my date~”

┃ “Won’t that make him angri-

┃ “That’s what revenge is.”

┃ “Why don’t I just talk with him?”

┃ “Has he tried talking to you?”

┃ “...no.”

┃ “I rest my case.”

Silence enveloped the room once more. It wasn’t an awkward silence, no, it was quite a comfortable silence actually as he patiently awaited your response and allowed you to process and think.

┃ “When is the party exactly?”

✿ tags: @haiq-trash @blackmysticalsimp @the2ndl @bren-heron @delicatejudgecopcowboy @skiwalkers

✿ a.n. // First of all, thank you so much for 102 followers <3 I appreciate the support being given to me! I would like to address one thing, however, please don't rush me to write! I've gotten very kind messages of support but others have been demanding more of me and it's important to remember that I have classes, chores, a social life, and many other things happening. I love writing but rushing me makes it unenjoyable and it won't be my best work. My goal for this ongoing fanfic is to post weekly. Just a little ted-talk there, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter though! I had such a fun time writing it :)

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Secret’s Out

Father of Mine – Part 1 and Part 2

Bruce was looking at his emails when Y/N arrived at the table.

She was breathing heavily and her hair was a bit messy, just further proving she had rushed to get there.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she huffed embarrassingly. “My shoot ran over and every one was moving so slowly.”

Bruce smiled. “Y/N. Relax.”

Then he stood up to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

The two of them hadn’t seen each other in over a month. Y/N had been traveling for work constantly. And between the vigilante life and Wayne Enterprises, Bruce was running on 2 hours of sleep on the daily.

“I need a drink,” Y/N finally sighed after she got situated.

As if on cue, their waitress dropped Y/N’s favorite drink in front of her.

Y/N eyed Bruce with surprise.

He just shrugged.

Sometimes Y/N forgot how much her father noticed literally everything.

“Thank you,” she told the waitress.

“You’re overworking yourself,” Bruce said with a disapproving look.

She rolled her eyes. “Really? You’re not one to talk, Bruce.”

“You deserve a vacation. I’ll pay for it. Pick wherever you want. Bring Jason. Or some friends.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Bruce…”

It was a warning.

From the very start of their unconventional father-daughter relationship, Y/N had made it clear that she could not be bought. And Bruce spoiling her made her extremely uncomfortable. Even now, she still tried to at least split restaurant checks with him. Bruce always won those battles though.

“I’ll take a vacation when you do,” she finally countered.

That sure shut him up.

“Hey, I actually brought you something,” Y/N changed the subject as she reached for her bag.

A moment later, she lightly placed a manila folder onto the table.

Bruce’s brow furrowed as he reached for it.

As soon as he opened it, he froze.

“I had to clean out some stuff and put things into storage,” Y/N explained. “I found all my mom’s photos. I figured I could make copies of some childhood photos for you.”

Bruce’s silence made Y/N nervous.

“If you don’t want them, that’s totally fine.” She started to reach for the folder out of Bruce’s grip with awkward embarrassment. “It was stupid–”

But Bruce quickly pulled the folder closer to him and stopped her from taking the photos from him.

“Thank you,” he announced.

It made Y/N quickly sit back in her chair, caught off guard by his sincere reaction and how he’d immediately become protective of the photos.

Bruce awkwardly cleared his throat. “Thank you, Y/N.”

He repeated to make sure she understood how thankful he truly was. And Y/N suspected the throat clearing was to hide his emotions.

Now she watched as Bruce slowly went through every picture. He took in every detail with a soft smile.

These weren’t just photos. These were all of Y/N’s memories that Bruce missed, that he could never get back. And he was savoring all of them.

Then Bruce paused and was fully smiling now.

“What?” Y/N asked.

She didn’t know why all of this made her so nervous.

Bruce didn’t say anything as he lifted a photo and flipped it to show her.

It wasn’t from her childhood.

It was a black and white photo of Jason. A candid from when he had escorted her around the slums of Gotham for her most recent gallery show.

After months of thinking about it, Y/N finally had decided she wanted to frame it and hang it somewhere in her apartment. 

Y/N’s jaw dropped with embarrassment and she ripped it from his hands.

“I was developing some photos at the same time as I was making the copies. Must’ve gotten mixed up in those,” Y/N explained too quickly, unable to meet Bruce’s gaze.

It made Bruce happy to know that Y/N didn’t have the same inability to love someone and let people in like he did. It was a relief that she didn’t isolate herself from it like he had. If her mother was still alive, Bruce would thank her for it. But if Y/N’s mother were alive, he would’ve never known about Y/N in the first place.

Their entire dinner was spent with Bruce looking at the old photos. He had at least two questions for each one. Some of them Y/N didn’t remember being taken. But most of them came with stories or a loving memory.

Y/N talked for most of the meal. But that’s exactly what Bruce wanted.

Furthermore, Bruce had nothing of value to update her on. Batman business had consumed his life as of lately, and he had made a promise to never involve Y/N in any of it. And Jason seemed to be on the same page when it came to his other life as Red Hood. 

Both men seemed determined to keep her safe and away from it all. 

Two hours later, Bruce was paying the check and helping Y/N into her coat.

“I’ll give you a ride home,” he muttered as they started walking out.

Y/N had learned by now to give up on those small battles. Jason was the same way when it came to making sure she got home safely.

As they made their way to the exit, Y/N caught a few stares from other patrons who were still eating.

“Do you ever get used to it?” She asked her father in a low voice.

“Get used to what?” He asked, genuinely unaware of what she was getting at.

“People gawking at you.”

Bruce glanced around and unintentionally glared at anyone who was staring at Y/N.

“It’s good that I’m seen in public…for obvious reason,” he hinted in a quiet voice, obviously talking about needing the cover to continue his life as a masked vigilante.

Once they were outside, Alfred was already waiting at the curb with the Rolls-Royce. He greeted Y/N with a hug and a kiss to her cheek before opening the door for her and Bruce.

When they got to Y/N’s apartment building, she said her goodbyes to Alfred. And Bruce walked Y/N all the way up to her door.

Even though Y/N insisted it was overkill and she could get up the stairs on her own just fine, Bruce had seen too many terrible things in this forsaken city. He could think of thousands of things that could happen to Y/N between the car and her front door.

Once Y/N realized that Bruce’s paranoia came from experience, she stopped trying to stop his chivalry and overprotective ways. She finally understood that Bruce had seen things that would prevent her from ever sleeping again. So if walking Y/N to her door gave him a little peace of mind, she wasn’t going to take that away from him.

Y/N turned to Bruce when they reached her door. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“Of course. I’m glad we could spend some time together. Thank you again for the photos.”

Y/N didn’t realize that Bruce was about to hang every single one around Wayne Manor. 

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Get home safe.”

——————

Y/N woke up wrapped strong arms, her body overheating slightly.

When she had come home from dinner last night, Jason had already left for patrol.

He hadn’t woken her up when he got back home, just proving how exhausted Y/N had been these past few weeks.

But it was the continuous buzzing vibrations of her phone that woke her up. When she brightened the screen, she saw that she had dozens of text messages and three missed called from Bruce.

“What the fuck,” Y/N whispered as she started opening them.

But they were all about the same thing.

Everyone had sent her similar articles from various gossip websites or news outlets.

BRUCE WAYNE’S NEW GIRLFRIEND IS FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHER Y/F/N Y/L/N

BRUCE WAYNE’S FLAVOR OF THE WEEK

IS Y/F/N Y/L/N USING THE PRINCE OF GOTHAM TO FURTHER HER CAREER?

All of the headlines were joined with photos of Bruce and Y/N having dinner last night. Apparently other customers at the restaurant had snuck photos of Bruce greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Y/N could see how it would be misinterpreted as romantic and not familial or platonic. But it still made her sick to see the photos twisted in such a way.

Then there were paparazzi photos of them getting in a car together. Of course there were none of Bruce dropping her off and them going their separate ways. That would be just too convenient for the two of them. 

Y/N’s stomach dropped with panic.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she gasped without realizing it.

Jason immediately woke up. “What is it?”

Y/N ignored him and called Bruce.

“I’m handling it,” was how Bruce answered her call.

“Handling it? How exactly?” She challenged. “We can deny the rumors all we want. But everyone is going to keep tabs on us now, and they’re going to see us together again.”

Jason grabbed his own phone.

One of his brothers must’ve sent him a similar article because he rubbed his face in annoyance, finally understanding the situation. 

Nothing like your girlfriend being rumored to have a relationship with her father, who was also your mentor and adoptive father. 

“Y/N, it will blow over. It always does,” Bruce tried to calm her down.

“So what happens when I get photographed with Jason? Huh? They’re going to just say I’m cheating on both of you with each other or some fucked up shit like that.”

Bruce was silent, because they both knew she was right.

Y/N glanced at Jason, who was already waiting for her gaze.

She took in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Maybe we should…Maybe we should just tell the truth.”

“You’ve never wanted that, Y/N.” Bruce tried to argue.

And he was right.

Y/N was terrified of being associated with the Wayne family. People would start believing she secretly built her career off of nepotism that no one was aware of. She also didn’t want that type of attention from the media and the upperclass of Gotham.

“I don’t think we have any other choice,” Y/N finally answered.

Jason reached for thigh and gripped it, trying to offer her some sort of comfort.

“Y/N, are you sure about this?” Bruce asked slowly.

“No. Not at all. But I’d rather not have the public think I’m dating my biological father.”

“OK,” Bruce sighed. “I’ll talk to my publicist today.”

“OK.” She bit her lip before adding. “Just…tell them the whole story.”

“Y/N, if you’re worried how it will make me look, don’t.”

“But I am worried about it, Bruce. They’re going to drag you for being an absent father. And none of that is true. They’re not gonna understand.”

“I’ll call you later with an update,” he told her softly before hanging up.

Y/N tossed her phone to the foot of the bed in frustration.

Jason watched as she buried her face in her hands.

“You OK?” He asked as he rubbed her back.

“No,” she answered honestly.

“Come here.” Jason pulled her into his chest.

There was no fight from her as he cuddled her tightly.

“This is a fucking nightmare,” she groaned into his shoulder.

“I know. But maybe it’s for the best,” he tried to reason with her.

“And what happens when they catch wind that I’m dating my father’s adoptive son? Huh?”

“We’re not actually related, Y/N.”

She pulled her face back so she could glare at him. “Yeah! We know that! But you do understand that people are going to see it that way, right? Like we’re gonna look like some fucked up incestual couple to them.”

“I don’t really care,” Jason finally told her.

“You don’t care?” She scoffed.

“No,” his answer and confidence didn’t waver. “I don’t give a fuck what people say about us, Y/N. If exposing the truth means we don’t have to think twice about going to events or even just going out to dinner, then I’m all for it. I’m sick of hiding our relationship.”

Y/N blinked. She never considered that their subtle relationship bothered him in any way. She was always a strangely private person, so it felt normal to her. But clearly Jason had been wanting to be a bit more public with their relationship.

“What if this changes everything?” Y/N whispered, not meeting his eyes.

Jason smirked at that and gripped her chin, lifting it up so she would look at him. “Some paparazzi and trash tabloids aren’t going to change how I feel about you, Y/N.”

Y/N laughed lightly at that.

“Maybe we should leave Gotham for a bit,” she offered. “Bruce won’t shut up about paying for a vacation for us.”

Jason nodded. “I think that sounds like a good idea. You’ve needed a break for awhile now.”

“Well…where do you wanna go?” Y/N asked.

“Doesn’t matter to me. As long as you’re there.”

She rolled her eyes and hit Jason in the face with a pillow. “God, you really are a sap.”

Y/N appreciated Jason always being able to make her feel better and feel supported. 

But even he couldn’t stop her from wondering...

What would life be like as a Wayne?

------------------------------

Father of Mine – Bonus Content

[winter-soldier-vibes]

“I Don’t Hate You Like I Hate Myself” (Bucky x reader)

“I don’t hate you like I hate myself”

Bucky x reader

Word count: 4224

Warnings: eating disorder/bulimia, self hate

Summary: Reader suffers from an eating disorder and Bucky finds her purging one night. 

A/N: Sorry it’s been so long, I really am. It’s been a hell of a few months. Still working through it and writing has been helping me. I hope you are all doing well, reach out to me if you need me, and of course, if this in ANY WAY may harm your journey, feel free to skip <3

------------------------

“Goodnight guys” you said, a slight laugh in your voice. You stood up with your empty plate and placed it in the sink. There were a few groans around the table.

“But it’s so early,” Tony said, the others nodding in agreement

You looked at the watch on your wrist. “It’s 8 pm, Tony.”

“Exactly!” Thor said, shaking his head as if it were obvious. 

You shook your head at them. “Goodnight everyone,” you said, turning around and walking up the stairs.

As soon as you were out of sight, you let out a breath of relief and dropped the smile. You rubbed your face in exhaustion and closed your eyes a little, feeling heavier with each step. Truth be told, you were exhausted. But you still had something else you had to do. 

You pick up the pace walking to your room, thoughts spiraling faster as you closed the door and locked it. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., turn on soundproofing.” you said.

“As you wish, y/n.” the A.I. responded. 

You sighed, and went into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind you. You knew no one would come in, but it was a force of habit by now. You tied your hair back and filled a hidden water bottle with tap water before chugging it, and then lifted the toilet seat. ‘Damn family dinners,’ you thought to yourself. You took a deep breath as you leaned over the toilet, pushing one hand into your stomach and used the other to stick 3 fingers down your throat. After a few small gags, you started choking up your dinner as well. 

You had tears streaming down your face, not necessarily from sadness but from exertion. You coughed after one particular gag, until eventually nothing more came up. You placed your hands on either side of the toilet to steady yourself, back heaving up and down as you tried to catch your breath. Your heart raced and your head pounded, so you tightly shut your eyes and shook your head slightly. 

You stood in front of the mirror, sideways. You lifted your shirt and sucked in your stomach as much as you could. It was flat.

‘That’s much better,’ you thought to yourself. You flushed the toilet and turned on the shower. You became emotionless, running through the routine you always did. Wash your hands, cold water to the face, spray the air freshener, and take a shower to wash away the shame. 

You didn’t want to do this to yourself. You just didn't know what else to do. 

You thought it was just about the food. It was just about the way you looked, the size of your clothes, the number on the scale. That was all it was supposed to be. How did it grow to be so much more?

Every time was supposed to be the last time. You never meant to do it. But any time you ate anything, you just felt sick to your stomach. At first it was with shame and anxiety - now it was a physical nausea that overtook you. You thought this would make it easy to eat less, and it did. 

Until you felt sad

Or mad

Or stressed

Or a mission went slightly wrong

Or you began overthinking the smallest things

And whenever you felt anything negative you just needed to replace that with something else. A distraction, something to numb you out. To make you feel less than this overwhelming, crushing emotion. You needed to get it out. 

So you ate.

And then you threw it all up with all of your emotions, until you were left in a quiet bliss

You knew, logically, as a human, that you needed to eat. But it always felt wrong. Like it wasn’t for you, like you were weak for eating. You weren’t naive, you knew the side effects of bulimia. You had begun to experience a few of them - dizziness mainly. But it hadn’t become an issue yet. It didn’t interfere with your work, therefore, it wasn’t a problem. No one had caught on aside from a few minorly concerned looks. Not that you would ever let anyone in. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust the team, God no. You loved them and would trust them with anything other than your mind. No, it was more of an embarrassed sickening feeling you got. You didn’t know what to say, there was no reasonable explanation for this. Hell, you didn’t even quite know why you did what you were doing. It was easier this way, simpler. 

It was your problem to fight. Not theirs. You knew your limits. 

With a sigh, you turn off the shower water, stepping out and wrapping a towel lazily around yourself. You kept your eyes from the mirror as you stepped into your room and over to your dresser to put on some pajamas. Sweatpants and a tank top. You sat on your bed and flopped back, rubbing your hands over your face. 

Another day done. Countless more to go.

You looked at your phone to check any notifications. Aside from a few news updates, there were 2 texts from Bucky:

‘You okay?’ received 42 minutes ago

‘If you’re not you know where I am. Sleep well’ received 38 minutes ago.

You smiled a little. You were all a family, you and the team. Bucky and you seemed to bond in the way that introverts tend to. The way that brings out the extrovert in the other. The way that hanging out didn’t have to mean you spoke because you both found comfort in the silence. You grew the closest with him, often checking in with each other. If he had a nightmare, he came to you. Or you went to him, depending on how bad it was. You would talk to him about small matters, but you would never think of telling him about any of this.

You shuddered at the thought. No one could ever know about this. 

You closed your phone after deciding it was best not to respond. It had been too much time since he had sent the messages, and if you sent something now he might wonder what you had been doing for almost 45 minutes. Best to not reply until morning, blaming it on the exhaustion that never left your body. 

You placed your phone on your nightstand and rolled over, shutting your eyes and willing sleep to come easily. Over time you began sleeping less and less, and now it was a miracle if you were able to at all. Maybe it was the hunger pains, or the reflux, or this overwhelming fear that something bad was going to happen. The stress of being an Avenger, of keeping up your act, of being perfect all the time. 

It was exhausting. But not in the way that sleep would ever be able to fix. 

No, this was a type of tiredness that kept you awake. You had to stay alert all the time. Sleep wasn’t restful or enjoyable anymore. It was elusive. You needed a break from your life. Sleep wouldn’t ever be able to provide that. Not when you would be waking up to deal with it all over again. 

You sighed. You hated this. You hated what you were doing, you hated that you couldn’t stop. You hated that you couldn’t tell anyone about it. Not because you didn’t trust them, but because you didn’t know if you wanted to stop. And if you let them in, you didn’t want to be letting them down by slipping up. And you wanted to stop but...you didn’t know how. You didn’t feel good enough, you didn’t feel like you deserved it. And nothing else could make you feel better like this could

You hated yourself. You hated yourself in a way that no one else ever could. In a way that made you wonder if you would ever be able to love yourself with the innocence you once did. 

You turned over again, willing your racing thoughts to slow to a steady jog at least. You took deep breaths, still trying to calm your pounding heart from earlier. As you started to relax a little, feeling closer to sleep, you remembered one last thing you had to do.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., turn soundproofing off,” you said softly.

“Of course, Y/N,” the A.I. responded.

And with that, you drifted off.

-----

You were rudely awakened by a few sharp knocks at your door. You startled awake and sat up quickly, only to be greeted by a huge headrush. “One minute,” you called out groggily, rubbing your eyes and standing up. Once again, your vision began to black out but you ignored it. You were used to it at this point. It always went away eventually. You pulled over a cardigan and padded over to the door, opening it.

You opened the door to a very much awake Bucky, who seemed to have just gotten back from a run. You weakly smiled, hoping you didn’t look as tired as you felt. Unfortunately, you don’t think that was the case, seeing as Bucky’s smile almost immediately faltered as he took in your tired face. Dark circles under your eyes and a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. 

“Yes, Buck?” you asked, pulling him out of his concerned stare.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. He knew what being tired felt like, but he had never seen it to this extent on anyone aside from him. He knew you had been tired lately, going to bed early, waking up late, yet seeming to grow more tired by the day. 

You sighed and rubbed your eyes a little. “Yeah, I’m good. Just trying to wake up a little.” you said with a little laugh, dismissive. 

Bucky worried about you. He felt close to you but he worried that you didn’t feel close to him. He could always count on you to be someone he could turn to. But no matter how hard he tried, you didn’t seem comfortable opening up to him. He knew it would take time and he didn’t take it personally. He just wanted to be able to be there for you the way that you were there for him. He knew something had been bothering you, he just didn’t know how to approach it. 

He looked into your eyes. “You sure about that?” he asked.

You mustered the best smile you could. “Yes, I am fine. Just -”

“Tired. I know what that’s like,” he said with a slight laugh. “You know that you don’t have to be fine right?” he said reassuringly. It had become his line with you, to make sure that you knew he was there if you wanted to open up. And while you found it very sweet, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You wanted to trust him, and you hated making him feel like you didn’t trust him. You just didn’t know how. 

Instead you opted for a nod with a small laugh, desperate to get as far away from this conversation as possible. “I swear, I’m fine,” you said a little more strongly this time. 

Bucky nodded, unconvinced but willing to drop it. If you weren’t ready to talk about it, that was okay. For now. “Do you want to come down and get some breakfast? I think Sam and Clint were making a ton of food for everyone. 

You ran through your options. If you didn’t go down, people would be suspicious. If you did, you would have to eat and find time to get rid of it after, plus deal with the banter of the team for leaving so early. You weren’t supposed to eat yet, it was far too early. But Bucky was already suspicious, so it would be best if you just went down and got rid of it later. All of this ran through your mind in a second before you said:

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be down in a few minutes,” to which Buck turned around and you closed the door. 

After a few seconds you closed your eyes and sighed heavily, resting your head against the door. You cursed yourself internally for agreeing but knew it was the option that raised the least suspicion. You went into the bathroom to wash your face quickly and before you knew it you were studying your body. Turning around, looking at yourself from every possible angle. It happened every time. Coming back to reality, you dressed quickly in some baggy clothes before taking a deep breath and heading down to the kitchen area. 

You were greeted with the smell of all things breakfast, and when you walked in you saw loads of everything there could possibly be. They really went all out. Which made you even more nervous: you didn’t want to seem ungrateful or hurt their feelings. 

You had stopped at the door, and Tony was the first to see you.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty,” he said, bringing the small conversation to a stop for a moment while everyone recognized your appearance. You gave a small wave and a smile before coming in and sitting down. You tried your best to not show your anxiety or exhaustion. There was so much food, and you didn’t want to offend people by not eating but you didn’t know if you would be able to stop once you started. 

Everyone was sitting around the table making small conversation and starting to eat. You were taking deep breaths as nonchalantly as you could. You grabbed a few things to put on your plate, trying to keep a steady hand. You didn’t want to draw any attention to yourself. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem - you’d have a few days of no one noticing you skipping meals, then have dinner all together before you all parted ways. You could prepare for that. But breakfast the morning after was sprung on you, and you didn’t think you should be eating in this small of a time window. 

You tried to join in on the conversation, pushing things around on your plate as you did so. You thought you were hiding it well, but from across the table you caught Bucky glancing your way with concern. So you started eating more. 

It was delicious, you couldn’t deny that. You soon cleaned your plate and began filling it back up with more this time. You could feel your stomach expanding and your heart rate was picking up. As you finished your second plate of food, you felt the anxiety set in. You tried to remind yourself that it was a normal amount, and that you hadn’t been eating enough for a normal person. Eating was normal. Eating was normal. 

But you weren’t normal. 

“Well, this has been great, and thank you Sam and Clint, but I think I’m going to go lie down,” you interjected into the conversation, pushing your chair out.

“Leaving again so early?” Tony asked, not unkindly. You looked around the table before landing eyes on Bucky, concern filling his face.

You swallowed nervously before saying. “Yeah, sorry guys. See you in a bit!” you added and hoped you didn’t sound as desperate as you felt to leave the room. You turned around and walked towards the door, conversation picking back up while Bucky watched you leave. Something didn’t sit right with him.

After you had gotten around the corner you picked up the pace, resisting breaking into a jog. You made it to your room, heart pounding in your chest and nearly threw yourself in, closing the door and turning to the bathroom. You closed that door too, locking it as a force of habit. You were usually methodical about this process, you had a system. But you were desperate at this point. You tied your hair up messily and filled up a hidden water bottle at the sink before chugging it and turning to the toilet. 

Back in the kitchen, Bucky decided that he was going to go check on you. He excused himself and thanked Sam and Clint for the food before heading in the direction of your room. 

You were bent over the toilet retching. You hated this so much. It hurt, it didn’t feel good, but you felt so relieved doing it. You couldn’t explain it. You didn’t like doing it, but it somehow was the one thing that helped you feel better.

What you didn’t realize was that you hadn’t locked your room door. Nor did you turn on the soundproofing feature of your room. 

Bucky knocked on your room door, to which he was met with silence. You simply didn’t hear him. Not liking the feeling in his stomach, he let himself in. To his surprise, you weren’t there. But then he heard you retching. 

He furrowed his brows. Why hadn’t you said you were sick? Closing the door behind him, he walked over to the bathroom door before knocking. And you froze.

“Are you okay in there?” you heard him ask.

Shit. 

You swallowed before responding with “Yeah, I’m fine.” You cursed yourself for the weakness and wavering in your voice. You quickly flushed the toilet and turned to the mirror. You were a mess, red face and tear-streaked face. You washed your hands and then your face, trying to get rid of as much inflammation as you could. 

You took a deep breath and leaned against the sink. How could you have forgotten the most important parts of your process? How could you have been so stupid? How were you going to talk yourself out of this?

“Y/n?”

You opened the door with your head down as you tried to walk around Bucky. But he gently stood in front of you before guiding your face to his, his eyes widening at your red eyes and face. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?” he asked.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“You’re not fine if you’re throwing up. I swear, if Sam made something that made you sick -”

“It’s not like that” you interrupted.

Bucky paused for a moment. “What do you mean it’s not like that?”

You clenched your jaw and looked away, backing up a little. “Nevermind.”

Bucky stood in front of you again, a little more insistent now. “No, what do you mean? Are you sick?”

“Buck-”

“Y/n.” he insisted. 

You took a deep breath. “I throw up sometimes,” you said quietly, but loud enough for Bucky to hear it. He shifted on his feet. “What do you mean?”

You looked at him sadly, shaking your head. “It won’t make sense,” you said.

“Then help me understand,” he said. 

You took a few breaths before trying to piece it together. “I don’t know what happened. I was just supposed to lose a few pounds. And sometimes I would eat too much, and throwing up made me feel better. And now I can’t stop. It was just supposed to be about losing weight but now I can’t stop,” you finished before finally looking him in the eye again.

Bucky’s face contorted to one of more concern. Your eyes filled with tears at finally revealing your secret. Bucky came closer to you and pulled you into a hug as you sobs started wracking your body. Bucky held you tightly, whispering that it was okay. He breathed deeply and steadily, hoping you would be able to fall in rhythm with him. 

You were able to start breathing with him and calming down. After a few moments of silence, Bucky asked “How long has this been going on?”

You shook your head. “I don’t even know.” you said, defeated. 

Bucky took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

You shrugged weakly. “It wasn’t your problem.” you said.

“I want to help, y/n,” he said, pulling away to look at you. “You always help me or anyone else on the team whenever we need it. If we were going through this wouldn’t you want to help us?”

“Of course I would,” you said firmly, tears building up.

“Then why can’t you let me help you the way you help me?” he asked.

You shook your head lightly. “It’s not that simple, Buck.”

He looked at you, confused. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not like that,” you said a little louder, turning around. You could feel yourself beginning to break.

“What’s the difference between me and you? Why can’t-”

“Because I don’t HATE you!” you exclaimed, turning around with pain in your eyes. “It’s not the same thing because I don’t hate you. I want to help you, because you are a good person, and I like you. I don’t like myself. I deserve this so I’ve accepted that this is what I need to do. I don’t care if it hurts me, because I don’t care about myself!” you yelled, tears streaming down your face again and breathing heavily. “That’s the fucking difference.”

Bucky looked at you sadly. “Is that really how you feel about yourself?” he asked, saddened even more when you began nodding. “What did you do that was so wrong?”

You shook your head, anger calming down into sadness. “I don’t know. I never liked myself. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere, and I never have. And I’ve accepted that I may never feel like I will. This isn’t the kind of sick I know how to heal. People catch a cold or break a bone and there are active steps to fix it and a set timeline before it gets better. And it won’t bother them again. But this,” you tap both sides of your head repeatedly, “this I can’t fix. I don’t know how, I don’t know where to start. I’ve tried but it never really goes away. There’s no medicine or action or rest period or any kind of shit like that. It’s me against me. I’m always gonna lose this battle. I’m not the kind of sick that can get better, Buck,” you shrugged slightly and shook your head. “Not for me.” 

Bucky’s face saddened even more, knowing all too well the feeling of not belonging. He knew the pain of self doubt and self hate, and feeling like you were a bad person. But he had done so many things as the winter soldier, how he killed so many innocent lives. You were one of the kindest people Bucky knew. He didn’t understand how you could feel this way. 

Bucky started walking closer to you slowly. “Y/n...I know what that feeling is like. You know that. But I don’t understand why you would feel that way about yourself.” he was now standing in front of you. “You’re one of the most generous people I know, you’ve helped me so much. I know you’ve helped everyone here. No one here hates you, y/n.” 

“I know,” you said. Before Bucky could respond you continued, “I know there’s no reason for me to feel this way. I know logically I didn’t do anything wrong. But it’s just this...this thing in my head. And it never goes away. And I know all it tells me is lies but the only way I can make it stop is by throwing up. I know it’s messed up, I just can’t make it stop,” you said, looking down again.

Bucky guided your face back to meet his. “Can I try to help? You can always talk to me about anything, you know that right?”

You breathed out. “I don’t know,” you said truthfully. 

Bucky noticeably stiffened, and you quickly added, “It’s not that I don’t trust you. Not at all, I do, it’s just that I don’t want to disappoint you.” you said. “I don’t want to fuck up and hurt you because I couldn’t be strong. I don’t want to bother you every goddamn day with this petty bullshit I have going on.” you took a deep breath and looked away again. “I don’t want you to leave out of frustration that I couldn’t be strong for you.”

“Is that really what you think I would do?” he asked. When you nodded, he went on. “I would never be disappointed at you trying your best. It’s okay to mess up, to have bad days, it’s not going to be perfect. Life can be a little fucked up sometimes, but what I’ve learned is that the hardest way through it is alone.” he said with emphasis, knowing all too well the pain of keeping your emotions in. 

You leaned into him again, his arms wrapping you into a hug. “Promise you won’t leave?” you asked softly.”

His arms tightened around you. “I’m not going anywhere.”

[lyon-amore]

Guardian chapter 1

*MC POV*

I had less weight on my chest. That group chat telling everyone everything we had found had made me feel calmer. They needed to know the truth, everything that had been discovered so far.

At work I could concentrate without being uncomfortable keeping secrets from my friend.

Then I receive an unknown call. I pick up my phone and get up to get it in the bathroom. Better not to continue giving my teammates more reason to distrust me after that Lilly video. They were all pending every time I spoke during my breaks.

I lock myself in a cubicle and press to answer. I already knew who the person was.

   "Have you told your parents how much you love them yet?" said the voice distorted, filled with hate. A shiver runs through my whole body when he tells me that “I know where you live, I know your crime. Little by little I'm getting to collect everything about you."

   "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," I lie, trying to get some composure.      "You have a nice apartment” My apartment?  ".As soon as you return, you'll have me here... Very soon I'll kill you like them." He hangs up leaving me scared. So much so that I don't realize Jake had just sent me at least three messages.  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake MC? Come on answer. I need to know that you are fine. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I try to calm myself down before I can answer. In part, the threat wasn't that worrisome to me, and I had a reason for that. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC I'm fine Jake... I'm a little calmer now Jake Your apartment. Are you there now? MC No Actually, I don't even live in my apartment anymore It's been a couple of years since I quit Jake And how could he know you had one? Has anything else about you leaked out that you haven't told me? MC I'm not sure… But like I said, it was a couple of years ago

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bite my nail nervously remembering. I wasn't ready to tell yet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC I'd like to tell the group what happened I need to know if they have received any threats as well Jake Sure. It's your decision. I'm going in now too. MC Thank you 🙂

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I leave the cubicle deciding to go to the cafeteria to ask for an infusion or something that can calm me down. Drinking something will calm me down.

I write in the group what has happened to me. The 'Man Without a Face' threat that he knows where my old apartment is. I avoid telling about my parents. I'm sure Jake wonders why I avoid the subject.

Immediately and of course, the first person to respond is Jessy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessy How has he threatened to go to your apartment?! I can't tolerate that happening! MC Jessy, calm down He won't find me there Jessy But it can't stay like this! 😠 ----Dan is online---- Dan I can't even ask for a relaxed day? Remember that I'm still in the hospital MC Sorry Dan... Jessy Seriously, Dan?! 😠 They threaten MC and you are worrying about your nap time?!

Dan I'm worried too I have lost sleep fast Jessy 😩  MC 😅 ----Cleo has connected---- ----Thomas is online---- ----Lilly is online---- Cleo Calm down everyone please MC, what exactly happened? MC Well, as you can read, he has threatened me with going to my apartment Lilly That's not good… You should notify the police Thomas True This time it is not a threat towards us, but towards you He knows where you live Dan And you've already been exposed since the video Right, Lilly? Lilly Thank you for reminding me 😔  MC No, he don't know If he’s talking about the apartment I'm thinking about, I haven't lived there for years And I wanted to know if you have received any threats Jessy No, I haven't received anything 😟 Cleo Since the last threat, I haven't received anything. Dan In my case, I'm sure he'll tell a nurse. ‘’Can you tell Dan that I threatened to kill him?’’ Lilly No Thomas Either MC I'm glad you're alright then 😄  Jake It is still not completely clear. If he knows your old address, it's because someone told him. I need to know if anyone has leaked any MC information. MC Jake... Jake Did anyone know anything about her? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, I hadn't told anyone about me. I understand his concern. I hope he doesn't start another crusade against my friends because of me.     "Sometimes you can get to worry too much…" I sigh, hoping he calms down a bit. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessy Of course not! 😤 MC is my friend, I would never reveal information about her if she didn't want to Cleo No one would be able to do that to her, I can assure you MC I never told them about where I lived before Only one thing comes to mind Lilly You haven't posted it somewhere, have you? MC Not me... Jessy Oh my God… I don't even want to think then if he can get your current location You shouldn't be alone You could come to Duskwood with us, you'd be safe 😟 MC I'd love to go But I can't risk it being a trap and trapping me there 😥 Jake That's exactly what I was thinking. If he knows that you don't feel safe in your own apartment, he'll think you'd be better off with your friends. Dan I think you owe us all an apology, Hackerboy. Jake Yes. I'm sorry. I'm just worried that he knows something he shouldn't. MC I know Jake 😊  Jake :) Thomas So What are you going to do? He may not know that you no longer live there, but he could easily have information about where you are now Cleo Thomas is right, MC You have to find yourself somewhere safe until you know you are safe MC Thanks for caring all of you guys But that would cause too many questions Also, I can't leave my job just like that for a while Dan I wish I wasn't in the hospital, because then I'd be there to take care of that Raven Man 💪  MC I'm sure of that 😉  Jake Please, this is serious. Jessy I'm with you You can't joke with this 😠 MC You don't have to worry I'm fine, really 🙂 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I look at the time seeing that I have spent too much time talking.With them, time always passes quickly when I'm having fun. They're right, I shouldn't be alone, but my relatives live far away and I don't want to put my friend here at risk either.     "This problem is yours alone, MC," I say to myself, looking at everyone's photos. I can't go to Duskwood either. I could say that I am stuck in my own house waiting to find out if he will find me or not. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC Guys, I have to get back to work 😕 We talk later? Lilly Okay And Jake, can we talk in private later? Jake Sure. MC, please be careful when you finish work. Try not to be alone on the street. MC I'll ask a friend to come with me I'll lie to her saying that this way we chat a little You already know my style 😉 Jake I know, it's very good ;) MC 🤭 See you later guys 👋  Jessy See you later, MC  😟 Cleo Please, let me know if something happens Thomas Call us if you need it Dan An advice: A good kick in the balls is always a good defense 😎  MC 😆 See you later

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I put my phone away and get up in a hurry.This time I will respect Jake and Lilly's privacy and not read their chat. They deserve a sibling moment without me.     <<I hope they haven't noticed that I'm absent from my table or they'll deduct half my salary. >>

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Jake POV*

 I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to think about what happened. That call had left me more worried than her, that she could even joke around with Daniel.I don't want to get mad at her, it's just that after what happened to Richy, her behavior seems strange to me.     "She hasn't even said that he has named her parents," I look at the conversation I had had with her, what had happened? "I can't investigate it with so little information... "     <<No, no, that's wrong... I shouldn't investigate her for no reason...>>     I get a message from Lilly. Right, she wanted to talk to me. I have to calm down.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lilly Now we can talk better about the situation  Jake Do you know something then?  Lilly I don't know anything But I want to ask you a favor  Jake Of course.What is it?  Lilly Please go protect MC Even if it's not for long? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I read the message and I get nervous. Go see her? I can't do it, it would put her in danger and Lilly knows it, why did she have such an idea? I try to calm down at the thought of going to her house. I must not! Come on Jake! Don't let yourself be convinced! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jake You know perfectly well that I can't, Lilly.  Lilly Jake, I'm worried She has always been very attentive with all of us And now we owe it to her Please? 😟 Jake It would be too risky for both of us.  Lilly But she will be glad to know that you are by her side! After all, you are a couple, right? 🙂 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I read the message without understanding it, how did she come to think that?I automatically smile at that idea.  I cough to compose myself, my face burns from embarrassment and I don't even have her in front of me. Ever since I met MC, it happens to me too much. I grab the energy drink and drink while I write. It's time to take one of them. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jake Where did you get that from?  Lilly From MC, she told me ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK! This was not what I expected! I almost drowned!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jake When did she tell you that?  Lilly When we work together to solve your puzzle I asked her if you two are together and she told me the following:' Yes, we are together. WE have fallen in love' Just as I have written ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I laugh when I read the 'we' in capital letters. After talking to MC and her jokes, it's already easy for me to recognize her. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jake Sorry to break it to you Lilly, but MC was just kidding you.  Lilly What?  Jake We are not dating. Surely it was for you to leave the subject.  Lilly So… Aren't we going to be sisters-in-law? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I block myself not knowing what to answer. For a moment... It's not such a bad idea...    <<MC, even though we're not talking, you make me nervous.>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jake No.I'm sorry.  Lilly Because of how you behaved in the chat, it didn't seem like it 😊 Jake We are just good friends :)  Lilly Sure… Likewise, I'm sure she would be happy if you were with her.  Jake Why do you think that? Lilly Because when you left, she was very worried about you. You owe her at least one visit for having worried her. Don't you think  Jake In addition to protecting her.  Lilly Of course that's the main thing! So…Please big brother? 😄  Jake I will think about it.  Lilly But don't take too long She needs you And you know it  Jake Thank you for your words Lilly. :)  Lilly Let me know when you're with her I want to know that both of you are okay Bye Jake 😄  Jake Goodbye Lilly.  ----Lilly has gone offline---- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I close the chat window and put my head in my hands.     “Damn it, Lilly,” I mutter under my breath. “Incredible what I'm going to do... ” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *MC POV*  My friend drove me home, I made the excuse that the heels were killing me that day because they were new. Lucky that it was a great support to have a friend like her around when the video happened. She didn't ask any questions, she just supported me when I was wrong.   "I should introduce the rest of them when this is all over, I'm sure they'd all get along," I say to myself, making myself something for dinner.  The mobile rings. A notification. It would do me good to talk to anyone at this time of night just to forget.  I smile when I see its Jessy. She has also become a great friend and I am sure that she will have been worried about what happened. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jessy Hi MC 😟 MC Hi Jessy! 😄  Jessy You seem to be in a good mood despite what has happened to you... Are you really okay? 😥 MC Of course! I'm really fine Jessy 🙂 I wanted to apologize for the way I got I don't want to lose you like Richy That's why I was so nervous MC I understand It’s ok that you worried But nothing is going to happen to me Jessy I know But for Jake to doubt us 😤 I don't forgive him MC I know… I haven't talked to him about it yet. But he deserves to be teased a little 😝 Jessy Yes please! And let one be from me! 😊  MC Of course, friend! 😁  Jessy You know?I really want all of this to end Finding Hannah and Richy so we can all be together 💖 You deserve to come to Duskwood MC After your tour, of course I'll go Especially since I promised your brother that I would go to his bar 🤭 Jessy Do you think we will be able to get Phil out of jail?  MC I don't think so I'm sure! Don’t hesitate Jessy Thank you, MC For everything  MC That's what friends are for, isn't it? 😉   Jessy Oh!I just remembered! Phil wanted to know one thing about you 🤔 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Before I could ask Jessy what it was about—despite knowing what she was going to ask me—there was a knock on the door. Since it was late, they didn't ring the bell.     "Who is it at this hour?"      I go over to get a frying pan and use my cell phone by texting Jessy quickly. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MC They just knocked on the door  Jessy So late?  MC Yes  Jessy Be careful Or better Make video call I'll feel safe knowing I can see what's going on  😕 MC Right now ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I call and I see it on the screen. I hope she doesn't witness my death.     "Wait, what do you have in your hand?" She asks me raising an eyebrow.      I look at my hand that I have raised, ready to hit whatever I see.     "Oh, a frying pan." I flip it over and take a deep breath, turning serious. "Ok, I'm going now.”      I go to the entrance and look through the peephole, the light from the entrance illuminates a person dressed all in black. Since they looks at the ground, I can't see they face.     "MC? What do you see?" Jessy whispered, so they wouldn't know who was on the phone.     "I'm not sure, because of them shoulders he looks like a man…" I replied in the same tone.     "Don’t open! It may be him! “ She exclaimed, avoiding screaming.      I want to listen to Jessy, maybe she should even call the police. At this hour and in a neighborhood like this, it would cause an uproar and fear.    "Wait... "     I leave the cell phone on the cabinet where I have the keys and I prepare to open the door, clutching the pan tightly.     “AAH!" I scream and open the door, ready to hit the man, but he stops my hand by grabbing my wrist.      The man looks at me scared. Or at least, that's what his eyes reflect. He has dark circles under his eyes, as if he hasn't slept in days. I'm going to yell something at him and he makes a sign for him to keep quiet. He lowers his mask and whispers something that makes me freeze.     "Nymos…"      Little by little I relax, but I keep looking at him. He gently releases my hand and I lower the pan. AND I DON'T DO ANOTHER THING THAN OUT OF NERVES I SHUT THE DOOR IN HIS FACE!     "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! " I exclaim leaning against the door with my heart racing. IS THAT JAKE?! THIS IS MY HOUSE?! BUT WHY?!      His looks are quite mature… And he has pretty eyes… DID I JUST CLOSE THE DOOR IN JAKE'S FACE?!     "MC?!” I hear Jessy yell my name. "MC, ARE YOU THERE?! ANSWER!"      I sit up and pick up the phone. I must have a very red face at this moment.    "I-I'm fine…" I reply looking at the screen. My poor scared friend and I with my head somewhere else "It's actually... The home delivery food I ordered... "      "At these hours?" She looks at me doubtfully. I can usually lie well, but I don't have the head for that right now! "Can you tell me the truth, did he just threaten you in some way?"     "No, no," I try to calm her now, to calm the situation. "Seriously, I ordered food and it's already arrived" I can't say anything about Jake, it's better not to tell her for now. I'm sorry Jessie.     "Surely because of today's call you had forgotten and you thought that he must be 'The Man with No Face'."    “Exactly!”    "Do you want me to stay on the phone longer?"     "You know? I'm very tired.” I fake a yawn and scratch my eye showing weariness. "I'll have dinner and I think I'll go to bed.”     "Please call me if anything happens." Her voice sounds worried and I smile.        "Don't worry, I'll call you Jessy." I wave my hand goodbye. "Let's talk tomorrow. Good night."     "Good night, rest well."      We hang up at the same time and I look at the door, is it still there?   I put the phone back on the cabinet and then slowly open the door, peeking out a bit, not believing I was still there. I open the door wider, clearing my throat not knowing what to say.     "Hello." I greeted nervously, trying to look him in the face. Why is it so hard for me now?     "Hello..." Since it's hard for me to see his face, I notice that he puts on the backpack that he's carrying, nervously moving his fingers.     << Is he nervous? >> I think relaxing knowing that he is much more nervous than me.     "What was that scream?" I hear one of my neighbors say in the house next door, about to open the door.      I quickly grab Jake's hand and pull him into the house, shutting the door. Better not ask questions when they see us at the door. Jake stumbles in surprised that he didn't expect me to put him in that way, causing me to push him into my body.I stay totally frozen looking into his eyes, how do I react now?! Part 2