#> au: dndanger

[dreamsclock]

🐸 hi sparrow

hiiiiii charlie :D have some dnd dsmp au i wrote idk how dnd works but i had a cool idea for this fic and then never continued it. here is something to make you giggle

“Welcome home, Tommy. Welcome back! Welcome– Welcome back to exile!”

Tommy’s breath stutters. “You’re– You’re not–” The words register with him, click in his mind. “This isn’t– This isn’t fucking home, Dream, don’t–”

“Knew I’d see you back here eventually!” The masked man saunters closer. When Tommy looks closer, he’s favoring his left leg, the right one dragging just a little. “Not like– I mean, you’ve got anywhere else to go, right? Like…” The older pauses, tilting his head. Dread runs down Tommy’s spine. “I mean, this is where you belong. This is where your real home is.”

“No it’s fucking not!” 

“Oh yeah?” The masked man cocks his head. “Look around, Tommy! Look around! There’s nobody else here, just the two of us. Just like old times. You’ve got nobody outside of me, Tommy. Of course this is your home.”

“You’re a sick fucking monster, Dream,” Tommy hisses, backing away, heart pounding in his chest. “And I have– I have friends, alright, I have so many fuckin’ friends, just–”

“Then why are none of them here?”

Tommy has no answer to that. A laugh builds up in Dream’s chest, mean, thin, as the younger stumbles against a break in the ground, almost falling over. 

“Don’t you miss exile, Tommy?” Dream continues. “Don’t you miss how close we used to be? Me and you, we were… I dunno, we were like best friends! That’s why you’re back, right?” The Axe of Peace glints in his hands, and he chuckles. “You’re not back for the axe. You’re back because you miss home.”

“Can I roll for a trauma response?”

The tension in the call shatters like ice. From his little office room, Wilbur buries his head dramatically in his hands while Dream splutters in amusement. From the groans and complaints from the others in the call, Tommy doesn’t need to look at the other cameras to tell his other friends are feeling similar ways. 

“Roll for trauma?” Dream wheezes. “Haven’t you been playing him traumatized this whole time? Why do you need to roll now?”

“No, no, no,” Tommy says airily, “that wasn’t trauma. That was just a little taste of the trauma. I like to keep my characters spicy, Dream.”

“And by spicy you mean messed up.”

“Yup.” Popping the last syllable, grinning like a madman, Tommy glances towards the screen, giving his best puppy-dog expression to the Dungeon Master. “What do you say, king? Roll for trauma?”

The Dungeon Master, the only person with their camera off, laughs. “You can roll a memory check,” they suggest in amusement, “see how badly exile affects your character. That’s like trauma, right?”

Flinging himself back in his chair, Tommy slides down it, expression shifting from pleading to pained. “You know I have low stats for memory,” he complains, “can’t trauma come under… I dunno, like, fuckin’– dexterity, or something?”

“Make him roll for a survival check,” Tubbo chirps over the call, and Tommy can hear the grin in his voice, “just because he’s being difficult.”

The call resounds in laughter. Tommy sits up straighter in indignation. “Now hang on–”

“Make him roll survival, make him roll survival,” Sapnap says excitedly. 

George snorts. “Yeah, great idea. Start working on a new character sheet, Tommy, you’re going to need him next session.”

“I’m not really gonna need a survival check, am I?” Tommy pouts. “C’mon, Wil– Yeah, Wil, you’ll back me up, right?”

He locks eyes with Wilbur. Wilbur Soot, ex-Dungeon Master of the Dream SMP campaign, experienced D&D player, master of the die and evil mastermind, smiles back at him.

“Roll the dice, Tommy,” he says unsympathetically, and Tommy groans.

“This is so dumb,” he whines, picking up the dice, “I mean, it’s gonna be fuckin’ fine, but it’s just a waste of–”

He stops. He stares at the face of the die incredulously. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

The call erupts with laughter.

“What’d you get?” Tubbo goads. “Are you gone? Are you actually dead?”

“There’s no way– There’s no way,” Dream giggles, barely able to get the words out, “Tommy, tell– tell us the number. Tell us the number. Are you alive?”

“You guys are fuckin’ dumb!” Tommy mutters viciously, holding the die up. The face reflects back a single dot. Everybody present finds it far more comical than Tommy himself, who sinks down in his seat, dismayed. “I did it as a joke, it was just a joke– C’mon, you can’t be serious, this isn’t real, right? This isn’t canon?”

“Dream,” the DM says, “roll to hit. How are you gonna kill him?”

“I–” Dream’s wheezes are overtaking his words. “I just rolled a natural twenty.”

Wilbur is crying in the call. Sapnap’s raucous laughter drowns out most other people. Quackity has slid off his chair from laughter. Slowly, Tommy feels his lips begin to quirk upwards. 

“Roll for damage?” The DM is chuckling, and the chuckles only turn into a full blown laugh when Dream turns his camera to his die, which shows maximum damage. “Oh, God. Okay–”

“I use healing,” Tommy complains, “I eat bread and throw a pearl.”

“I slam my axe into Tommy’s back while he’s trying to heal,” Dream turns his camera back around to his face, wiping his eyes, “and he just drops dead, right– right there, on the ground, before he can enderpearl away. Boom, story over. I win.”

There are various boos and laughs from the call. Tommy buries his face in his hands to hide the mirth on his face. “What the hell, man.”

“Oh, God,” Techno drawls, “what’re people gonna do without the main character? They might actually have to start acknowledgin’ every character is their own main character and a side character in everyone else’s, oh no.”

“Techno, oh my god,” Philza gasps, and Tommy can see the tears of laughter in his eyes, “Tommy, mate, what’s your move?”

“No, don’t worry.” The DM – Tommy’s knight in shining armour, the love of Tommy’s life, the apple of Tommy’s eye, the beauty in Tommy’s beholder, et cetera – clears their throat. “Don’t worry, I was kidding. Tommy, your character doesn’t actually die. You’re fine.”

George boos.

“We’ll get to you, George,” the DM snickers, “you might have to roll survival checks yourself. Your whole storyline with XD isn’t looking so good for your character.”

“I’m ready,” George says, dramatically, “I’ve had my death planned out since I made him.”

Sapnap splutters. “Dude. That’s so sick. Poor character-George.”

“He’s an idiot,” real-George shrugs, “and he sleeps a lot.”

“Oh, so people deserve to die because they sleep, now?” Quackity asks. When Tommy looks at his camera, he’s giving George a deadly smile. “Okay, so how about when you slept through our last session–”

“Quackity, you’re so violent–”

“Guys!” Tommy yells. “I am about to die in the game and in real life. Pull yourselves together, Jesus Christ. Let me have my fifteen seconds of fuckin’ fame.”

“Whatever.” George rolls his eyes haughtily. “Proceed with your little ghost character. TommyGhost. GhostInnit.”

Ignoring George’s mocking with a dignified air, Tommy sniffs. “DM?”

“Right.” The DM chuckles, and from their black screen, there’s the rustle of notes being flipped. “So, Tommy and Dream are facing off..."

[dreamsclock]

How many AUs do you have?

a horrific amount. here are the main ones unless i've forgotten some! i didn't create a lot of these but i never shut up about them (ones in bold weren't made by me ^_^)

ALL AUS

no nuke finale, protege au / double apprentice au, limbo au, guard dog au, the night men au, the uno saga, hotel guest au, "ignorance is bliss" au, nowhere bones au, deerhunted au, apple a day au, total control au, weltschmerz, fate's favorites, snowfall, hornets nest au, hold him close au, ad infinitum au, syndicate au (tag 1) (tag 2), gladiator au, the tommyinnit fix-it server au, c!madduo prison roommates au, runaway king au, daisy lore / red days / prison walls trio au, north star au, yellow kitchen au, mamma mia au, the sitcom syndicate au, nothing besides remains, fyi au, mirak au, family gamble au, ghost in the basement au, DnDanger au, swap au, vegas team (2.0) au

UHHHHH I THINK THAT'S THEM ALL ! i probs have more but these are the main ones i think!!!!!!!!!!! or the ones that occupy the most space in my brain, at least