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[what-an-art-blog-huh]

Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. Some sooner and more cruel than others

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

2021 Is The New Year, But I Feel Sad Tonight

things seem pretty okay at the start of this year.

still procrastinating, but if you feel up to doing what you make your goal

right away, then you should be able to try to enjoy a little relaxing, watching your favorite shows or movies, or maybe do some drawing and try to come up with ideas for future chapters for fan fic that you have to post in a different place than where you would normally post them.

but I’m sticking to that promise,

and just need time to get around to it a little more.

I’m crying right now, and not just because of the possibility of my pendulum being right about someone I considered a friend, doing something behind my back, and lying to others and well....I’m still gonna hope it isn’t true.

and my pendulum was just playing a REALLY mean prank.

I am also upset that ANOTHER person is stealing from Vivziepop,

and they can’t even understand why the Youtube User

who goes by [Redacted], is mad.

which I can understand why they are mad and well the other party who has done it might not realize it and need to be told in a gentle way about it.

and at least when others use drawings or clips,

to do dubs or music videos, they give credit.

I even mention in a journal over at the other place I go to,

about how someone else had broke the Pilot episode of Hazbin Hotel,

and even wrote for the title if Hazbin Hotel Was A Series.

I really REALLY hope both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss,

get on Adult Swim, I need to look up to see when Cuphead Show is gonna come on, all I know it is suppose to be around 2021.

I think I feel a bit better now, when I had stop typing for a few or so on this,

I was talking to family, guess it helps to talk to family at times.

I still don’t like my pendulum giving me such replies about someone I trust.

I really don’t do well with betrayal, and plus the reason like I said before

about my reasoning for chickening out about telling whats going on.

well about what that one Youtuber from before was doing,

because I know it is possible I might just end up messing it up,

and possibly get my words misinterpreted, and I thought that 

I saw the number of one of the journals, and I ain’t pleased.

it would be different if it was just my fan art or whatever,

but  I had talked about it around December of 2020, which was last year.

maybe after I check out some stuff on here, I can go sign in to Rooster Teeth

and check out Red Vs Blue or maybe even one of the Death Battles.

I asked my pendulum if any of those who saw those journals, even care

about whats going on, and well it gave a “No” but it could only mean only half of them don’t care about it.

if I could use magic to it’s fullest power, I would open a portal and get out of here every once in a while and take a nice vacation.

I would make sure to come back here of course...

I’m kind of peeved off at most of humanity, even if there are still some good ones....which it is the good ones that make me not be full on Misanthrope.

so yeah I’m just Semi-Misanthrope.

I wonder if I have become a bit more sensitive than normal?

it could have to do with how I had got over a depression in 2015, but then the next year I ended up in a whole new mess...

I really need to try not to let myself fall into another depression after having recovered from one that was from what was happening at home.

well I was always sensitive and when I get really sad about something,

I would end up crying.

I just really hope that everything works out, and people who can explain what’s going on much better than me, will tell the team whats going on.

I just need to try not to worry about it too much about it.

another thing I should try not to worry about, is the fact my pendulum gives me a Yes, about being in love with...someone I can’t say the name of.

just because we MIGHT of been together in one of my past lives,

don’t mean it is going to happen in this life.

best to just try to ignore it and bury it deep deep deep very deep down,

or least try to.

having a crush I can handle.

but my pendulum has to be playing a really mean prank on me about who I am supposedly in love with.

I know I let things get to me too much, and well because of how badly I was hurt.

and how I had to give in to such unfair demands, that didn’t really fix the problem at all....and we could of worked it out if I was just told...

and if it was about a journal, then they could of just told me...

great now I’m crying again, and it isn’t just because of well that mess from a few years ago.

I guess even though I did get better after a second depression, which was partly my fault because I let what happen get to me too much.

and well it put me in a very darker place than what I was put in when that nightmare stuff was going on around at home.

I want to try to talk with friends more, but at the same time I still need to have time to myself, like a lot.

I am still tired of being hurt past my breaking point,

and I really hope that my pendulum is just playing a really mean and cruel prank, not from the whole me being in love with.......someone.

but because of the thought of being purposely hurt...

it is possible my pendulum when it doesn’t give me a truth, or a friendly prank.

like the one where Gaster being real and he implanted the idea of Undertale and Deltarune in Toby Fox’s Mind...

or the whole my soul despite being in a human body,

is a upside-down heart, which is kind of like the Monster’s Souls from Undertale....

those are fun pranks it does.

but anyway it is possible that it shows me worries,

things that I know would hurt me deeply.

maybe I should make it charge by the window again,

as well as take some food salt,

pray with it in my hands to the Divine Father & Mother,

and throw the food salt on to the pendulum.

I had discovered I can get rid of certain negative energies

that end up on some stuff we have, by taking some food salt

(that we normally eat with.) then pray with it in my hands,

then throw it on the said item.

well at least it is being honest about the whole embarrassing empath thing.

and about how the bracelets I wear seem to now protect me from such energies.

I’m not saying what it is on here though...

it could at least give a No about it not being true,

and it was just joking.

and maybe I shouldn’t be too mad at well the ones who couldn’t understand

what they were doing with Hazbin Hotel and even Helluva Boss.

but even if some people might stand up for them, and might even resort to some name calling.

but there are lines fans should never cross.

and even if fans do use some parts of clips, or mix clips up into a fan music video, it is important to make sure that those who see it,

will understand the clips belong to it’s original owner or owners.

otherwise it will be like that false report on the original Undertale Amv

yes someone did do some subs for it, but the one who gave the false report,

might of not bothered to check the day or month of the said two.

and I believe that the one who did subs for the Amv, did ask for permission.

I have mention before that I dislike the negative side of Youtube,

cause they let false reports happen.

I like the positive side of Youtube,

and I hope all of you understand what I mean.

maybe I should try doing mediation again,

but maybe I should wait until tomorrow....

I might not be in the right mood for it right now.

I got a violin for christmas, but I’m not very good at playing it,

but that’s fine, I don’t mind if I sound a little terrible on it.

another thing that my pendulum is full of Determination

to prank me with, is it still giving a Yes about Jesus Christ having Descendants.

and I guess since I know it is a prank, I can say it here.

I keep asking if Jesus is my Ancestor, and it keeps giving me a “Yes”

I ain’t telling my family I been asking my pendulum questions,

that need a “Yes” or “No” type of reply.

and i sure ain’t telling them that the pendulum keeps pulling the same prank about well Jesus who is suppose to be like a very distant cousin, being like technically my ancestor too...?

I think it is just one of it’s pranks.

maybe I really should get the food salt prepared to throw at it,

make it go into a time out and stop pulling such mean pranks.

at least it giving a Yes about W.D.Gaster being real and implanting the idea of the two video games of both Deltarune and Undertale into Toby Fox’s mind,

is a really good and funny prank it is pulling.

okay I think I feel better now and am not gonna cry again.

I know I had mentioned before about the whole being a descendant of King David.....which the Virgin Mary is the descendant of him too,

which makes Jesus technically a very distant cousin...

King David was a dysfunctional Dad, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandpa Solomon was the same...

even if you might end up with a really cool ancestor or ancestress,

there will always be ones that will disappoint you.

but anyway this ain’t about the dysfunctional ancestors....

I need to try to keep to my happy place and try not to let worries

and hope the whole stuff that I had talked about before.

oh and no matter if your religious or atheist,

it’s fine ya don’t think much of what was said,

after all it has to be my pendulum just pulling one of it’s pranks.

not about being a distant cousin thing,

I knew that way before I got my pendulum.

I think I might of known before I got it,

I know that someone in my family told me about

the whole we are family to Jesus...

you know if he did have a daughter way back many moons ago....

my pendulum gave me a truthful Yes, so yeah...

if he did have a daughter, he would of treated her better

and not be like King David and how he didn’t do anything to help Tamar.

but if anyone who is atheist doesn’t believe about all that,

I wont force ya, it’s fine if you don’t want to.

I mean I did once thought I was Christian, and even went by it for some time.

I can still have the same believes as when I did thought I was a Christian like the rest of my family.

but I am a Ma-Acolyte, I believe in well The Divine Father, Mother and Jesus.

but it is fine that no one believes the same as me, plus I don’t believe it is right to force convert.

if someone wants to convert, it should be of their free will.

you should never make them feel bad or tell them if they don’t,

they will go to hell.

well being “Gay” ain’t gonna be the reason you go to hell,

no matter how many times people say it will.

that is one of the honest and 100% truthful replies to my questions,

that my pendulum gave me.

so yeah being Gay ain’t a sin.

and my bigender identity & being Aroaceflux ain’t a sin either.

in case anyone doesn’t know about well the whole bigender thing.

it is like two gender identity,

for me I still see myself as my biological birth gender.

but at the same time I see myself as Non-Binary too.

so yeah I am Gyno-Agender.

it took me some time to figure out the true parts of me.

I’m listening to the parody of ADDICT right now,

it is nice that they make sure to put the original link to the original maker of the song as well as the music video that it was used in.

it suppose to be Valentino and Vox singing it.

(with Velvet too.)

why do I find Valentino & Vox’s voices attractive.

well I do find Stolas’s singing voice really charming.

well there are different ways to be attracted to others.

like a sirens singing voice, you can’t help but be enchanted.

I think after getting some feelings out, I really do feel better.

might not be able to do a lot of what I want to do on here right now.

so maybe just a few things, like how I heart/faved two posts when I had first signed on this year in 2021.

and by the way there was a reason why I put “Redacted”

it is like to censor a name, I even decided to do that after figuring out

about well what was wrote in that Five Nights of Flirting I had downloaded.

it’s basically a AU of a AU, but according to the person that made the fan game, the original creator doesn’t want to be named.

I really need to figure out how not to die so fast in that game.

at least it gives you a option of being Male, Female or Non-Binary/Genderfluid.

        and well I am kind of both of the Female and Non-Binary part.

but I can just pick all three for different routes.

but the game is “M” so it isn’t for everyone.

speaking of “M” rated, I need to make sure when a younger family members

come over, I need to make sure they don’t get their hands on my M rated games.

there are some things that a little kid should NEVER see, not until they are old enough.....

there is just some things you do not let your kids see,

and if they do, they might understand later on that they weren’t the proper age to see certain movies or shows, and they want to try to stop the cycle from repeating.

maybe I shouldn’t bother with placing tags for this.

I decided to ask my pendulum again about the whole friend thing

and if they were just joking, and I believe I asked it to be serious

and I felt mad too, so maybe becoming a little more mad at it, will give a answer that isn’t a mean prank that is from my fears.

I just don’t like being betrayed,

that had happen to me before, with a boy who I thought was my best friend.

the teachers were no help either,

couldn’t just understand from my point of view.

anyway maybe I will check out some stuff on here first,

then I will go watch some cartoons and try to stay in a happy place.

anyway see ya later, stay safe and happy late new year everyone. 

PS:

this time the pendulum had admit it was joking, so yeah it better not pull such a prank again....but I think for a few days I wont use it....

but I will throw food salt on it....that joke it was playing wasn’t funny.

it was one of the reasons I started to cry and worry.

so the pendulum is gonna get a timeout for the rest of the day...