# Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[catcrazies-midnight]

my blog now

[triglycercule]

If you had to choose only one sans from the murder trio as your favorite who would you choose? also your art is amazing!! The way you draw sanses is very unique,in a cool way

STOPPPP DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE,,,, I GENUINELY DON'T KNOW IF I EVEN CAN CHOOSE!!!! ermmmm lemme think. i think it just depends on how i feel/the season/who i just consumed the most content of. like during winter months i think im more of a killer kinda guy because seasonal gloominess and killer is unarguably the angstiest of the mtt with just the sheer amount of bullshit he has going on. in summer i tie for all of them because im just happy and when im happy the trio are also happy because i dont subject them to horrors (HAHA PUN). but in spring i like dust idk it just feels right. and fall rn im a horror fucker

BUT that might just be because i consumed a TON of horrortale content working on my analysis of him so i may br biased idk. personality wise i cant choose a single one because they all have such interesting and fun personalities. if i were being biased i'd say based on who's most similar to me BUT i don't think i can even decide which of the trio has a more similar personality to me (i am a fusion of them all. call me the satsujinki. call me a mtt poly shipchild)

if we're talking canon designs here horror EASILY takes the cake with his stylization. BUT killer has some of the coolest fanon designs i've ever seen. BUT ALSO dust has absolutely amazing art dust artists CANNOT be topped at all. BUT ALSO AGAIN killer is so damn complex and interesting and i love complex characters AND AGAIN AGAIN horror also just has such a cool fucking vibe BUT AGAIN

i cant choose. for the sake of convenience i'll say horror because he's the one i feel like i know most about right now and the more i know the more i can enjoy (also tysm for the thing about my art im glad that someone can appreciate it and find it cool!!! my favorite thing when people appreciate other people's things its amazing 2 me. i still have a lot to work on and learn with my art (especially with like. everything including colors. i have ideas in my head i cannot execute) but still im really happy that the skill level im at right now is still bringing someone joy ‼️‼️‼️)

warning triglycercule gets POLITICAL (poetic about art) in tags. don't read LIBERALS (those who want to save their time. does anyone even read my tag spam that i always do?? idk but i still do it)

[pleasantspark]

HH/HB Server gets mad at me for making Pentious Tan

I wanted to share Non-Pale. Tan Pentious edit and got dogpiled almost immediately.

Color Coded so people can't complain FAKE FAKE FAKE. The server is not going to be named as it's a pretty big server filled with minors and if you know which server it is, DON'T say it.

People in there are children and I do NOT want anyone getting harassed, this is just another example of people assigning intent. The only party that's uncensored is me.

Color Codes !!

Blue - Discord Friend Yellow - Someone with common sense. Black - Don't like these people Magneta - Someone not involved. Purple - Actual On Duty Mod. Light Green - Unsure if they are on my side or what Red - Person who said something uncomfortable to me.

I sent the render after completing it and using a BG Removal AI Tool to make it a render for my new wallpaper as I am taking Pentious and using him as my own.

People began to point out the "issue"

ID: Sir Pentious PFP with a trans masc flag on the outer ring named "Saint Pentious's Wife" with a small emoji of Vox and a leaf on discord next to it posted Today at 5:57 AM with the caption of "Is this render okay?" attached is a Sir Pentious image but of human and he's completely tanned.

Black #1 replied "He's a lot paler than that" and blue replies to black #1 with "mhh"

Saint Pentious's Wife forwards a earlier message from Purple stating "It's their headcanon" Black #1 said "Well if it's your head cannon that it's a good render then there you go"

Black #2 responds with an image definition of Headcanon which is:

Headcanon is a word used in film/television/comics/etc. fandom that refers to something a fan imagines about the characters (such as a scenario or relationship) but that doesn't appear on screen/on the page.

End ID

After I posted the image more people started being "jokey" which is impossible to tell and most of these people see others using tone tags. They were trying to make me feel bad about what I did. Labeling as racism and the such. I highlighted a few points that stand out.

ID: Saint Repentious's Wife was responding to Black #2 asking about what they should color Adam. "Yes"

Black #2 proceeded to send "?" as a response.

Another person, Black #3 responded to the intial post with a caption reading "Bro blackwashed him" and attached is the original concept of Sir Pentious.

I respond with something logical: "Why are Y'all being weird about it, I just made him tan. He's tan."

Black #3 responded. "But he's pale" and responded in regards to Alastor. "I also noticed that Alastor is still black in his demon form."

I responded. "You think all Londions are pale?"

Black #3 responds to Black #2 "With Adam's colors."

I proceeded to send:

"Thats kinda oddly weird. Like, why do you care what I do, it's not like he's being erased fully. He's still white but tan. Accusing me of racism is wildly crazy and makes me uncomfortable. Please stop it."

END ID.

I sent an image of the color wheel to showcase how pale he is. People still doesn't care.

ID: I sent a image of a hex code website with the hex code being displayed as #EFDFD8 and a caption reading: "This is where he is on the Color Wheel"

Black #??? responded: "He was white though"

I responded: "Why is everyone questioning people on redesigns?"

Red chimes in: "idk whats wrong with being pale"

I responded: "He's from London, not all Londonians are PALE."

Black #??? responded to Red: "Racism." With a blue shocked emoji.

I responded once again: "Nearly all of Viv's Characters are Pale. Imagine saying someone's racist just for making a character slightly tan thats crazy"

END ID

A little info on Red, they have numerous times made me uncomfortable, even after I told them to stop, they did not make the effort to apologize or even backtrack, even with Black #4 not taking it seriously. One of the rules in the server is not to make anyone uncomfortable specifically in regards to questions but also had a rule to be nice to everyone.

Red responds to a Vox PFP (Offscreen) with the caption "OVER FIVE YEARS?"

I responded to the conversation: "I fw Pilot Husk's design. I was a fan since the Pilot ages (Al's design more specifically.)" Beforehand Red also tried to make me feel weird for selfshipping with Husk by saying "He's a cat bro." yeah, and? People simp for Loona the same.

Black #4 responded to my uncomfortableness to Red with a skull emoji.

I responded: ":/ What? Personal trigger of mine, is that wrong of me to wish for people to not say that?"

Red once again doesn't take it seriously and tries to paint it as a light ribbing by saying: "it was sarcasm lil bro do u think im a perv or sum."

I responded: "Please don't call me Lil Bro, also, I dont understand tones. You're talking to someone who has Autism."

Red says: "sorry ma am" which isn't sincere in my eyes.

I correct them "*sir."

Red responds: "what.."

END ID

I clarified to Red on my correction and they were confused because of my name, when my pfp states my pronouns which were Ze/Zir/It/Its which should atleast give them the idea that I wasn't a ma'am.

ID: I responded to Red saying "I'm saying I'm a male? Not ma'am."

Red responded: "but but you ur display name nvm"

I responded: "Malwife doesn't fit" with a sobbing emoji after this.

END ID

I responded to Red on them calling me Lil Bro, as I am a full 20 years old, I don't care if its slang but I don't know you and if you call me Lil Bro, Sis, Hun then fuck off. I told them MULTIPLE times now, and they refused to, once again this server mentions you to NOT make people uncomfortable. This is where they made a "Joke" to my hard drive which has files of my Artwork and DBZ stuff. I'm a CSA survivor. You SHOULDN'T make those kinds of jokes to ANYONE especially IF they just joined the server.

ID: I responded to an offscreen ask by Red: "Sadly gtg trying to recover my corrupted hard drive with my DBZ stuff"

Red went out of left field with this "joke" which they could have NOT said: "ok dont drop the soap"

I responded: "Dont say that please."

Red didn't apologize but said: "ok."

END ID

This is the last image, basically, this STILL became an issue. Mod didn't try and scroll up. And I don't even care. Here's the final fuckfest that made me consider actually killing myself from the stress.

ID: Black #??? replies to me in regards to my offense on the term racism being thrown around as: "I was kidding bru don't take it personally"

Mod responds to my londons not being pale comment with: "in the 1800s before immigration was a thing (THIS ISN'T BEING RACIST) they would have all been really white"

I responded: "Yeah, I really wanted to make him tan"

Green chimed in: "There's a difference between Brown and grey"

Yellow responded: "It's just a headcanon stop being weird"

Mod responded to my tan comment: "Yeah that's fine like ur headcanon do what u want i was just saying information about 1800s uk."

Yellow comments on the double standards: "People in the 1800s also didn't know how to build laver death machines but y'all draw the line at a bit of Melanin."

Magneta replies to my earlier question about how they separates vocals: "weights al has a feature where it splits the vocals and music"

I responded: "I dunno man, people keep on jumping on people who does this, and it makes me anxious I am just doing something fun. I'm sorry for making a character slightly darker But a lot of people here have oddly said some really weird things to me like the whole "hope you don't drop the soap" I shouldn't have to say why that makes me uncomfortable due to personal reasons."

Mod replies to Yellow in regards to their excellent point: "Tesia was close enough"

Then Mod responded to me: "Ur drawings fine ignore people saying that"

END ID

I am aware that these people might be minors, but like WHAT THE FUCK? No ONE is this level of pale, I mean it's POSSIBLE but like NOT to the level of Sir Pentious. Also, if someone tells you to stop you do it, you don't continue with a joke.

This is literally making me want to kill myself. I like to thank Blue and Yellow for trying atleast. Sir Pentious was more Tan, he wasn't black or anything he was just more tan. It makes more sense then pale sheet white as snow template base that the fandom designs have.

I just am going thru alot so if I don't respond I did it.

I'm sorry.

(If I am still here, that means I apssed out, I am too depressed, peroiod ridden and sleep deprived.)

[charliesinfern0]

my osomatsu-san oc, Ai! :D

more details for her under the cut! :3

She's 5 ft 4 in (i hc the matsuno bros to be 5 ft 7 in, so shes 3 inches shorter than them ^^)

Her outfits come in different colors! Her shirt and socks can be either black or white, and her dress can be blue, red, purple, pink, yellow, green, or black! :) (also her shirt can be short sleeve or long sleeve, and her socks can be thigh high, knee high, or ankle high!)

Initially did not intend for her to have connections to the moon (part of her last name 'Tsuki' means moon, the bunny charm on her phone) but in the middle of making this ref i was like 'eh why not'

Dekapan is the one that created her, so hes kind of like her weird dad

She has a big crush on Ichimatsu, but to be honest she has a crush on all of the Matsuno bros hehe

She moved away from Akatsuka to go to college, but moved back to do some of her studying and assignments back home (also she was feeling very homesick)

A running gag is that her major changes each time she talks about it (in the beach episode she says her major is photography, in the super detergent episode she says her major is painting, continues ad nauseam)

Her favorite season is winter! (fall is second, spring is third, summer is fourth)

I'm mainly refering to her with she/her pronouns right now, but she also uses they/them and it/its!

Her relationships with the characters:

Osomatsu: He just loooves hanging out with her lolol whenever they all hang out in a group Osomatsu is the first to try and take a spot next to her. They're usually on the same wavelength, always able to connect with each other, but sometimes Ai can get pretty fed up with whatever antics he tries to pull. He always ends up getting nervous whenever they have one of their deep one-on-one talks.

Karamatsu: Ai loves his "painfulness", but she sometimes has her limits lol. Usually tries to help him write songs, and they like to sing together. They're both very supportive of each other, playing off of each other's energy.

Choromatsu: He tries to be so polite and formal in front of her despite knowing her since they were kids. Ai tries to get him to loosen up, and he's gotten a bit better at being himself in front of her.

Ichimatsu: They're in loooooove, they wanna kiiiiiiss~ ehehe, but besides that they both connect with the fact that they love their quiet time, and also cats. Ai is very understanding and patient, and that both comforts ichimatsu and freaks him the hell out.

Jyushimatsu: Ai cannot keep up with him, but she tries. At least he helps her stay active! They just both like making each other happy, whether that means going out to play baseball, or staying inside and doing some paper craft (with Ichimatsu's assistance)

Todomatsu: Besties :3 they message each other a lot, and Todomatsu is always lowkey asking her out to do things with him. Usually though, either just the two of them go out or Totty's older brothers end up tagging along. They mutually vent to each other sometimes just to let out some frustration, and they trust each other enough to keep secrets between them.

Totoko: Good friends, though they don't always see eye to eye. But thats mostly because of confusion on Ai's part at the antics Totoko tries to pull. She thinks its really cool that Totoko is an idol, and Totoko always insists that Ai could be one too, but they both dont want her to be one for different reasons (Totoko thinks that Ai would be more popular than her, and Ai doesn't like the idea of singing in front of big crowds)

Iyami: She thinks he's skeevy as hell, not much else to say. Always finds a way to get angry at him, even if he hasnt done anything wrong (at the moment)

Chibita: Also good friends, they both admire each other for what they do. She always leaves a big tip whenever she eats at his oden stand to show her appreciation (and to hopefully make up for the sextuplets' tab they have yet to pay)

Matsuyo and Matsuzo: They love her, don't know what their sons did to deserve such a nice friend who is also a girl (kind of). They simultaneously hope that she could maybe start dating one of their sons, and also think that she could do so much better lol Ai is always bringing them gifts and helps around the house, she almost gave them a heart attack when they came home to a squeaky clean kitchen after Ai and the sextuplets had made dinner together for them ^^

Dekapan and Dayon: Her creator and his weird maid/friend/lover? They're basically her weird estranged dads. They barely interact, except for rare moments when she needs emergency maintenance

[originsofevil]

Intro <3 !

I go by Michelangelo or any variation of that

(usually michael/mikey but names dont mean much to me)

but i recently found out that i'm the host of a system so if any tags are signed off with a different name thats why

dont care too much abt pronouns but i typically use he/him, ve/vir, and xe/xir/xem. mix it up, get creative. typically dont use she/her but ynever know

body is 21, we're an aries if u wanna make any judgement off of that, autistic + adhd if that wasnt obvious

i do post occasional nfsw/suggestive content, never anything too crazy but if youre a minor id prefer if you didnt interact with those posts, i have no way of enforcing this as i dont check my notifs unless theres tags but i am a full adult, i do pay rent and bills and taxes. on that topic i probably wont follow you if youre under like. 16/17ish. no hard feelings i just am an adult and im not around kids very much as the 2nd youngest of 4 so. if youre under 16 dont do drugs stay in school all that good stuff. i love you, go to bed on time. i've been on this website since i was 11 and it shows. dont be me.

dms are always open ! i'm not amazing at holding a conversation unless its abt my current hyperfixation (rn its zelda/lu) but i love to yap. if you follow me and we're not mutuals dm/ask me and ill follow back! I don't rly pay attention to my followers so i typically don't follow ppl unless theyre consistently posting abt one of my interests and i remember to

I talk in the tags a LOT feel free to <- prev or rb addressing my tags but i typically assume no one will read them all the way through. i'm writing whole essays. im oversharing. call op a college admissions office bc I'm telling my whole life story. if my tags make you uncomfortable on your post please let me know and i will apologize/delete them if you wish. i dont have a concept of tmi and tend to misread/miss social cues/the vibes so i apologize if i misstep

please let me know if i reblog any stolen artwork/ai generated anything/ etc

‼️‼️i am not spoiler free for anything (even if i myself havent seen the content) i dont have any sort of tagging system ‼️

list of my active fandoms! old hyperfixations tend to creep up on me so this is not complete

- bungo stray dogs (bsd beast fans pls follow me i adore beast)

- legend of zelda (all games + lu/links meet aus)(legend fans pspspsp)

- the witcher (mainly the show but i got attached to a character thats not even actually in any of the games. aiden i love you.)

- cars (2006, 2011, 2017)(yes entirely unironically)

- Voltron legendary defender. (again. yes. unironically.)

- star wars (mainly the main series and animation since i havent read thr or played the games)

- jujutsu kaisen (2nd years stan)

- the magnus archives (gerry delano fans i love you)

- percy jackson (mainly the books and musical, i dont care for the show much but i adore the actors)

- gravity falls ! (i actually just got into this like, last month. binged the whole series in like a week at age 21.)

- my hero academia (my hs best friend made me watch s1 and i got attached to aizawa hawks and the todorokis sorry)(im convinced the todorokis were based on my family. im literally natsuo. dont ask abt dabi unless u think you're prepared)

Non Fandom Interests

- I write ! once i start uploading ill link my ao3 here but its rough out here (microsoft word)

- I draw ! i mightve posted my art a few times but as i mentioned i dont have any tagging system so maybe I'll make one for art or link another social at some point

- this mostly falls under loz but i love video games :3 i MOSTLY play loz but animal crossing, minecraft, and random silly da games ive collected over the years are my pride and joy. i want to play the witcher games but i have assassins creed black flag and im really bad at it. (i only have nintendo consoles (ds, 3ds, switch) rn but i want a decent pc at some point. the sims calls to me.

- Politics! my politics are very important to me as a leftist so if you're right wing we will not get along. if i find out that youre racist/homophobic/transphobic/a zionist (i am jewish)/sexist/etc i will probably block you. id say no hard feelings but i dint mean that.

I will probably update this as needed/whenever i remember to <3 ty if u read this and i love you have a great day

[mikeyfuckinway]

I posted 5,388 times in 2022

That's 1,947 more posts than 2021!

624 posts created (12%)

4,764 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@girlgerard

@revengeromance

@highendphasers

@sleevesareforlosers

@gerardpilled

I tagged 2,469 of my posts in 2022

#q - 1,157 posts

#st sorrows - 357 posts

#fave - 333 posts

#st viticus - 193 posts

#mikey.txt - 154 posts

#st essex - 127 posts

#st orpheia - 109 posts

#concert clips - 104 posts

#cheerleadergate - 77 posts

#rb game - 67 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#'when their lives are out of order they can be very emotionally unstable' like whenver i get frustrated at things i just get mad and upset

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ok but in all seriousness the line "let the flesh submit itself to gravity"means so much to me its about allowing yourself to continue living and not feeling compelled to record every moment and be perfect all the time and letting yourself live in the moment that is now. its about not feeling the need to preserve every single good memory because there will be more and maybe the reason theyre so important is because the full meaning and weight of them cant be recorded. its about letting yourself age and grow and rather than mourning your lost youth you should be celebrating the continuation of life and new experiences. for someone whose memory is bad and feels the need to record and save every little thing its really hard for me to live in the moment sometimes because im so busy trying to save and preserve it, but its important to live in those moments and trust that even if i cant remember exactly what happened, it was still worthwhile and important to me and it made me happy and thats what i should care about

130 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#4

i just realized that whenever i think abt the character relationships in victorious i ignore tori completely bc i hate her character so much. she sucks shes so self centered and when shes not being self centered, shes being nice to the degree of disregarding everybody else /but/ the person shes trying to help or do something nice for. i never once saw her have a cute moment with another character and thought "oh thatd be a cute ship" like i do for almost every single other character bc i dont care about her

189 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#3

this ai is gonna make me cry

209 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#2

its not patrick stumps fault u cant understand any fall out boy lyrics pete wentz is just more insane than any girl who actually kept a diary

301 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

if they remaster bullets frank needs to be absolutely blasted the whole time for the sake of authenticity

1,170 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[trystanryder]

i’m doing the mass effect tag game bc it’s 100% my favorite series of anything and it always has been and it always will be and i’m going to spend all my money on the remaster even though i’m unhappy about a lot of stuff with it <3

I’ve Been a Fan Since: 2013 maybe? I was 11 I think

Favorite Game of the Series: Hmmm 2 and 3 are both really good, but i think i have to say 3. Andromeda has the best mechanics by far tho

Mshep or Fshep: fshep fuck you mshep

Earthborn, Colonist, Spacer: i do a different one each playthrough but i tend to prefer spacer

Biotics or Tech: biotics. there’s nothing more fun than throwing shit. vanguard master class

Paragon or Renegade: i did paragon 4/5 playthroughs, so, i think that answers that? renegade was fun, but some of the choices i just couldn’t do and went paragon.

Favorite Class: VANGUARD MASTER CLASS adept is okay too i guess :/

Favorite Companion: legion my beloved <3 and also tali and grunt and garrus and kasumi and jack and

Least Favorite Companion: zaeed and jacob :/

My Squad Selection: i almost always bring garrus bc fuck yes that dps. in 1st game i never bring the humans, usually garrus/wrex, but more recent playthru was usually tali and wrex. as of 2 its usually some combo of grunt / garrus / wrex / legion, though again as of late i’ve been bringing jack, tali, and kasumi a lot more... its lesbianism... for 3 garrus and tali

Favorite In-Game Romance: well i’d love to romance tali but bioware is homophobic. so. reyes vidal from andromeda <3

Favorite NPC: BAKARA/EVE!! 100%. ALSO PRIMARCH VICTUS HOLY SHIT I LOVE HIM. honorable mention to nyreen and kal’reegar

Favorite Antagonist: clone shepard lol it counts. saren was good too

Favorite Loyalty Mission: lol fuck i dont remember its been so long. probably tali, i like bullying the admiralty board

Favorite Mission: its been a long time since i played but i like the palaven one i think? it really drives home the intensity of the war and the reapers and it’s so good. thane’s loyalty mission is also fun bc i like his son. i like ones in the hammerhead. also the ones from citadel dlc are 100%my fav missions but idk if they count

Favorite DLC: the citadel DLC is just so good.its so good. its so good. ITS SO GOOD

Control, Synthesis, Destroy: none of them are great but in the end i think i’ve decided control is the best for me. it doesn’t murder all the geth and AI and set civilization back millions of years only to be inevitably destroyed eventually (destroy. i hate the destroy ending. can you tell) and it doesn’t make some weird fucked up utopia that turns everyone into a half robot without their consent (synthesis). synthesis, in-universe, is probably the best decision, but it’s too poorly written for me to like it LKDSJFLKDS

Favorite Weapons: my fists (thats a joke but when im playing vanguard no its not)

Favorite Place: ummm Voeld <3

Favorite Quote: “I'm sorry. It's the only way. Thank you.” < i will literally break down crying. in terms of actually good quotes, one from Andromeda(which is a good fucking game). “We are all heroes until called upon to prove it.” From Ari Vesjek, a random Angara

[imagine-what-would-happen]

Since the Beginning (Ben Solo Fan Fiction Part 5)

Hey everyone! Short little chapter but I’m really satisfied with how it turned out! I hope you are too! Enjoy! Let me know if any of you want to be tagged on further installments!

Words: 1.8k+

Warning: Swearing.

Tags: @bensoloslover​

Link to Part 4

Link to Part 6

Link to Masterlist

Ben wasn’t quite sure what time it was. The shed was relatively small and dark - musty most of all, he saw quite a few spare robotic pieces laying around. It was the graveyard of the metallic. He carefully eased his way around the piles and heaps of dormant AIs, trying not to damage any. He fe like a dancer making his way around nearly on his tip toes in the dark, staggering back and forth to get to the right spot to sit and begin. He had himself cornered and looked upon the severed parts of once living droids. It was obvious to Ben that the Resistance didn’t have a proper droid mechanic, or else all of these poor souls wouldn’t be left for dead.

Ben was one of the few people he knew in his life who believed that droids were alive. Perhaps not in the same ways as many different species he knew, but nevertheless with all the different forms of life in the galaxy, why should the metallic forms be considered less than? Ben had come across plenty of biological life forms in his life time that were less alive than androids were when up and running.

 For just a moment Ben let himself imagine. He imagined that he didn’t have Force abilities, his parents were nobodies, that maybe, just maybe his destiny wasn’t drawn out for him since before he was born. Ever since he was a child he had more or less of an understanding that there were expectations thrust upon him that weren’t for other children. He often fantasized of being a mechanic, or a doctor, or superhero.

Ben had learned quickly that Jedi were not heroes. They were self proclaimed that was for sure, but they were not true heroes. They always stated that they knew best, that they would know what to do, or know someone’s heart - deep down. It was all horse-shit. They were stubborn accusers who couldn’t think without their master’s help, guiding them towards whatever agenda was in store. It made Ben sick to think that he was so close to becoming one of them.

In Ben’s fantasies now, he would have helped the Resistance because it was the right thing to do.

He knew these people were fighting for freedom, for love, for everything they wanted out of life that was good. Ben knew that more than anyone. Thats exactly why he could never tell Leia off. How do you tell someone to stop doing the right thing and instead pay attention to you? To put you above everything else?

 He would have been the Resistance’s droid mechanic, very simple, he would have friends here, he would have a place to call home, he would have something to fight for, not just something to fight against.

He was letting his fantasies get the best of him while his hands did what they did best, running over the cold metal, the plastic wiring. Tools were scattered around him as if a hurricane had come and gone several times over. Light from above him waved back and forth, at first irritating but soon it was a rhythm he could fall behind. Fairly soon after he had entered the dark shed he found a flashlight and made it into a make shift lamp hanging from the ceiling, tying it all the way up on the ceiling using the Force, an old nail, and some spare useless wires. He had rid his long sleeve from his body after beginning his work and stayed in just a tank top, brushing his locks back every now and then. As concentration became more and more fervent within him he began to sweat just slightly, there was a severe lack of air flowing through the shed. But Ben refused to keep the doors open. He refused to let the others see what he was doing, at on point or another, among all the broken pieces the shed became a safe space for him. 

He enjoyed being in the shed, the feeling of bringing something back to life was one he would not soon forget. It was so easy to break things, to kill, to feel that snap within your grasp. With a flick of his wrist, a memory overpowering all his senses, and emotion taking all control of his body - letting him only be a passenger in what was the firey rage he was known for, upon he Supremacy. It was the type of power that made others bow before you, to cower and shiver with fear from your mere glance at them. That was what he had become.

It was another thing entirely to bring something to life, help it on its way, to have the patience and understanding it needed. To have the love that it craved. It was beauty at its finest, at its purest. If there was one thing he lacked greatly in his life, it was beauty. Ben didn’t care for the stupid standards of beauty different planets set out for some strange reason. As cliche as it was, he cared about small beauties such as the ones he found in this shed; such as the one he lacked from his mother, as a child.

For the first time in, well he didn’t know how long, Ben smiled when the first droid’s eyes lit up brightly, illuminating the majority of the shed - the biggest and cheesiest smile he could. It felt good, it was a high he craved so desperately. Slowly he began helping the droid with taking steps, adjusting its hinges, rewiring, polishing them to remove the possibility of mold. After the first one was computing everything nicely Ben began on the next one and so on. He lost himself in the life illuminating around him. 

After several more hours Ben’s laughter erupted from him as he spoke to a few of the robots who could communicate with him easily enough, even the ones that beeped. He had relative ease reprogramming the level one and two droids, they made up the majority of the bots who were abandoned here. “Really? What was it like?” He asked the level three he was hovering over, trying his best to be as gentle as possible while rewiring and screwing parts in. 

“It was quite frightening in fact, Master Solo” The droid responded, “I was sure when my system shut down that I would never wake again.” It stated simply.

Ben let a hint of a painful smile show.

“Have I offended you somehow, Master Solo?” The droid proceeded to inquire.

“No... Sorry.” He sniffled slightly, shaking his head and tried pressing a bright smile, he then broke slightly. “I just... I haven’t had anyone call me that in a while without being sarcastic.” He bit his lip and tried to refocus his attention on the bot’s mechanics.

The sheds’ grey doors creaked open, Ben raised his arm to cover his eyes from the light outside, it was no longer day, but instead what seemed to be the makings of evening, the light from several bonfires was the bother. “Yes?” He questioned, not quite being able to make out who was standing before him. 

“People were taking bets, you know.” Leia began, “Some that you had run away to the other side of the planet, others that you had managed to find a shuttle to take you out of here. Others believed you were actually trying to do good somewhere in the camp and everyone should mind their damn business.” She walked in, examining all the bots who were doing the same to her, their eyes all glowing intensely. “You have your grandfather’s hands...” She whispered as she looked upon the droid below Ben. 

“What did you bet on?” He looked at her, having finally adjusted to the new incoming light.

“Lets just say I owe a few pilots and Y/N quite a few credits.” She smirked and picked up a wrench, turning it in her hand, admiring the gleam. 

Ben wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth or not... It didn’t matter to him, he knew what he was doing, and he enjoyed it. He felt proud for once, something others could look upon and understand that he was able to do more than just kill. He was more than just what the light or dark sides were... he wanted people to know that.

“So, what are you doing here then?” His eyes following her every movement, he wasn’t quite sure why but he felt almost protective over the droids, before her. He knew she wouldn’t intentionally hurt them for any reason... but still, he had to bite his lip from saying anything.

“Checking on you.” She pulled over a small crate and sat upon it, resting her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together, looking on at her son. “Why did you want to go on that mission today, Ben?”.

He wasn’t sure what to say. What kind of answer was she expecting to hear from him? “I...” He bit his lip, at a lost for words.

Leia sighed, “Ben, I know you care deeply for Y/N”. There was a pause as he searched his mother’s eyes, trying to predict what she was getting at. “This is the Resistance, we’re fighting a war.” She stood. “If all you’re doing here is pinning after her, trying to get on with your romantic agenda then I can have you on the next flight out of here.” She watched him. “We need fighters, people who believe in our cause. If you’re not here for that you might as well leave.” She stated harshly and walked out, the door shutting with a thud - leaving Ben alone with his creations.

Ben finished his repairs on the final droid and eventually opened both doors to let all the droids out, some stumbling slightly, adjusting to the terrain, others rolling into the camp. He smiled softly and watched them go on to their assignments they were last doing from memory.

Breathing in the soft smell of the camp fires, Ben made his way over to a little dinner area he had noticed earlier. Eyes followed him as he walked in, ignoring them as best as he could Ben picked up a tray and made his way over to the line. It was no secret that several people had quieted down and made uncertain and shifty eyes at him. They didn’t trust him. They didn’t have to. He would soon leave, he would be gone from their lives. 

He made his way up the line up, getting the small amounts of food and making his way to a seat. Alone. Yet again, his mother had made it more than evident that the Resistance was to come before her son. Was he really so unredeemable as to not even deserve love or compassion from his own mother? Was it even worth staying to try to prove her wrong, prove everyone wrong? He would be staying simply out of spite. Ben wanted to create a home, have a family around him, he didn’t want that to start off with spite in his heart.

He was back where he started, wanting to get off this god forsaken planet but not wanting to leave without Y/N.

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

[dontmeanlove]

Let Me Down Slowly. | Part 4

Pairing: peter parker x female!reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Plot: You suddenly have powers and have to find a way to deal with them. All while you’re dealing with boy drama and partnering up with your friendly neighborhood Spider-man to fight crime.

N/A: This is the end kiddos, I hope you enjoyed this story. This is also posted on AO3!  To find the rest of the series it's on the link in my bio!

I had to dismiss Peter, but I didn’t know how. When I turned to him, he had a weird look on his face. 

“Go inside,” He screamed over the noise. I nodded because I knew he would never go if I didn’t. 

I pretended to walk in the subway station and ducked into the subway toilet to put my suit on. I tried really hard not to think how dirty that toilet was. Soon enough I was getting out there to fight.

“Bug boy, cool seeing you here.” I looked over Spider-man on the other side of the street. I hadn’t had a chance to use the built-in communicator through our AI. 

“Spiders are arachnids.” He mumbled after getting over the shock of hearing me right on his ear. “How can you do that?”

“Mr. S updated the suit.” I loved using this nickname, Bucky has started it and it stuck with me. 

“Didn’t know you knew the Avengers.” 

“There's a lot you don’t know about me.” I said with finality to my tone, “let’s kick some- What the heck are these things anyway?”

“Mr. Stark said they are like demonic giant teddy bears and to go for their eyes.” He was already moving to attack one of them. The eyes exploded and it was completely disgusting to watch.

“One word: EWWW” I shrieked.

“Ew indeed,” Peter said sounding a little nauseous.

We ended up teaming up and defeating many of them. By the end of the fight I heard Mr. S on the intercom, “You work well together, kiddos.” 

“Uh, thanks,” I made it sound more like a question.

“You should keep working together,” Tony said trying to sound nonchalant. Tony Stark has never been nonchalant in his life. He was planning something.

“Janet, get me in a private line with Mr. S,” I said under my breath to my AI (maybe I watched too much The Good Place, but no one can judge me).

“What are you planning, Tony?” I asked as soon as I knew Spidey wasn’t listening in. 

“Nothing.”

“Come on, I know you’re up to something.”

“I ship you, guys.”

“Oh god, do you even know what shipping is?”

“Are you calling me,” He made a dramatic pause, “OLD?”

I chuckled, I couldn’t handle this man.

“I would NEVER, Mr. S” I managed to say in the sweetest fake voice ever.

“You would look cute together, in and out of your suits.” I made a choking noise hearing that.

“WHAT?” 

“I’m not saying anything else,” He said as if it was final, “You have to sort it out yourselves.” And then he hung up. I groaned.

“What’s up?” Spider-man asked.

“Mr. S being true to his nickname,” I heard Spidey chuckle.

“We should get to the Avengers Tower to get cleaned.” 

“Let's go, then,” I said already flying to the Tower, it wasn’t too far from where we were.

Arriving at the Tower I went straight to Steve and Bucky's. There was no way I would be in the common area getting cleaned up where Spider-man could see me out of the suit. 

I wanted to keep my secret identity, I’m sure he also had his reasons. I think what I feared the most was putting a face to Spidey’s personality and being disappointed if he wasn’t what I expected. What if he was different out of the suit, less the him I liked and more of an asshole? I didn’t want to risk it.

Getting the teddy bear goo out of my hair was so much harder than I expected, I was still struggling in the bathroom when my phone ringed. It was Peter.

“Hey,” I said cheerfully.

“Hey, (Y/N), just checking you got home safe.” 

“I actually came to the Avengers Tower, it was closer, anyway,” I was a terrible liar, it was better to stay along the line of truth.

“Oh, that’s good, I’m glad you were safe.”

“What about you? Where did you go?” I frowned, he had run towards the danger.

“Oh, uh, I found somewhere safe to stay.” The thing was, Peter was also a terrible liar. His voice through the phone sounded too much like someone I knew.

It couldn’t be. There was no way. 

“Oh, so cool! Peter, could you stay in line with me?”

“Sure, but why?” He was too curious for his own good.

I hit mute on my phone. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., where’s Spider-man?”

“Downstairs talking on the phone, Ms. (Y/L/N)”

“Thanks,” I said getting in the elevator, “Take me there.”

“Don’t announce I’m coming, F.R.I.D.A.Y,” I added.

I unmuted my phone. “Sorry, Pete, I was eating, I didn’t want you to hear me chewing.” He chuckled.

“No problem,” He paused, “Why do you need me to stay on the phone with you?”

The elevator doors opened. He was frowning looking outside the window, without his Spider-man mask. I hung up the phone.

“Fancy seeing you here, Spidey.”

Peter turned to look at me with wide eyes. I was still wearing my suit’s pants and my hair was still a bit dirty. 

“Somewhere safe, uh?” I said smirking. Peter blushed beautifully, touching his neck with his glove-clad hands. I frowned thinking about something. I looked back up at him. He looked a little worried.

“What is it?” He asked carefully.

“This is why you left me stranded that first time, isn’t it?” I saw his eyes get wide again, he bit his lip.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“It makes more sense now.” I smiled at him. It was okay now, we had already talked about is earlier today. He still seemed nervous.

“It's okay, Pete, really.” I tried to reassure him. He came close to me, inch by inch. We were face to face.

“I'm sorry for standing you up on our first date.” He touched my hand, I let him hold it, I had to remind myself how to breathe.

“You want to make it up to me?”

“Would you like to?” He sounded surprised. 

“Yeah,” I breathed out, "I would like it very much”

He started leaning in. I closed my eyes, not really believing it was actually happening. When his lips touched mine I gasped into his mouth. My hands reached up to touch the back of his neck and his arms were around my waist pulling me closer.

We heard cheering and clapping, we pull away to looking behind us. Tony, Steve, and Bucky stood there cheering like we were runners in a marathon and needed some motivation.

I could feel my cheeks heating up, I look at Peter’s face and he was also blushing.

“The ship sailed my friends!” Tony howled. And Steve and Bucky made sounds like a ship's horn. 

“Leave us alone, grandpas.” I half yelled at them. And everybody in the room started laughing. I hid my face in Peter’s chest, which was surprisingly clean. How did he manage to get cleaned up so fast?

“So,” Peter said picking my attention, “Date tomorrow?”

“Are you showing up, too?” I teased him.

“You can whoop my ass if I don’t.”

He was too cute for his own good, that boy. I kissed him again.

“You can bet I will,” I said smiling fondly at him.

tag list: @falling-stars-never-cry @gabriella-superwholock-universe

[catcrazies-midnight]

gabbo

[chi-is-bored]

A rant abt RenAi

I was missing Zero that I wanted to re-read his scenes and saw vkm has alot more chapters since I last visited (I dunno why I was surprised it was like a year ago) but anyway, I chose random chapter to check out and BAM well hello there RenAi *sigh

My first response was 'of fucking couse you do' but I'm not surprised.

My second response was 'shes a girl??'

So then I checked out vkm tags I'm surprised that there are people who were in denial... Like I get it, YuMe isnt direct incest like RenAi and VK and even vkm kinda sunk that ship but like why are you surprised? Were y'all thinking that with YuMe sunk, sensei is implying that incest sucks in her universe? Cause YuMe didnt sunk in canon because it was incest but because kaname was too depresed and fucked up that he crossed the line and hurting yuuki, thats why he decided to 'stop' their relationship.

While checking tags, I read some from both sides... Aaaand....

1. I agree that people who cant enjoy vkm anymore should just stop reading. And like just delve into fanfics and fanart cuz like thats what they are for. But some people like to rant cuz thats what blogs are for. We just need to tag and block tags, man.

2. Saying ALL the ones who dislike or even disappointed abt RenAi is lesbianphobes... Nah hun, its the incest thats they have problem with, I dunno why this is hard, like alot of fans dont like YuMe for the very same reason even tho they're like ancestors apart lol.

3. While some are preetty clear that the reason they dont like it is because incest isnt their cup of tea, but Im seeing some post that is one slip away to purity culture and nuh uh, no just no. Look whatever, some people ship incest, some people dont, when you dont you just press that back button (and I know alot have done, which is fine and good). But for the love of God, I better not see 'incest is wrong' regarding renai's discourse. This is fucking fictional abt vampires! Dark vampires not fucking vegetarian vamps (tho I hesitate to call VK a dark manga.... Its more like a dark rose-colored one)

4. The stalking, creepy way of Ai's bla bla bla.... Like please, none of the vampires in vk are fucking saint. All of our charas are fucking disfungsional. They are not bad or evil, but none of them are good. Zeki even said it, Kaname did the same. And I know, VK has kaname abusive in the end, but *sigh Sensei story is of that tragic backstory caused this guy to fucked up his mind and vampire has instincts that cause these abuse. For the lack of better words Sensei in the story kinda excuse the abuse. I disagree but I didnt write the story so. And sensei has written a parallel of yume with zero ai, but resolved or handled in better way so really, I dont think they're going to go the same mistake as kaname made.

And full disclosure, I dont like RenAi, its not that they're girls, or incest. I have some incest... uh not ship I guess since I'm not invested in their relationship canon but I do enjoy incest fanfic or stories, from the dark toxic one to the pure but 'wrong' love. One example is Okumura Yukio/Rin, they are twins and are demons so really.. I'm not new to these dark themes... But honestly I'm just disappointed.

At first I thought is it because I hate YuMe? But then I remembered my problem with the last chapters of VK was Yuuki's lack of development not Yume, cause I did root for them until the after rido arc. And its mainly because Yuuki devolution that to me are in effect of putting kaname in focus. So in a way I hated YuMe for de-evolving my girl and just ended there without the rise of her character or something.

Honestly I dont think I'm the only one who think that vkm was a fix for that.I think thats why a lot of people are mad that the trio 'dissapear'.

If it isnt clear, its because some fans wanted to see some closures and the development for the charas that were rushed in vk. Until RenAi appeared, it hasnt finished yet, so these fans were miffed or pissed that sensei suddenly focused in RenAi when some charas havent even shown their faces. Dont get me wrong, the way vkm has been written has made me think that all development and closures are going to be written in pieces and disjointed from the start, so I personally dont have a problem but I can understand these fans.

Wait, I think I went on tangent.

Damn this ia long.... Sorry.

I think, bottomline RenAi ticked me off cause its like the de-evolution of yuuki all over again and the way RenAi plot is handled canonwise is not my cup of tea. Tho really VK has always been weak in plot, so we should man up and admit it, VK n VKm are character study stories.

The fanfics on the other hand....

[prettywordsyouleft]

Becoming Human - Chapter 25

Previous Chapters:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

_________________________

The moment after they opened the door was bittersweet. I peered inside and saw Leo sitting up, looking extremely like himself.

But it wasn’t good news. He had forgotten some of himself. Doctor Jung had taken me into his office and explained that it had been a success minus his memory error. He still knew who he was, what he worked for at Kboys and that he was a robot. He was able to function in the exact same way as he had before.

Except he had no idea who any of us were.

“I’ll slowly introduce his data into his head but it’ll take time Yerin. You’ll have to be patient with him, with us.”

“Taking the time will mean he’ll ease into the knowledge and remember me, right? I mean, I’ll be mixed all through that data!” I sounded more enthusiastic than I felt. Deep down I was scared.

“Yerin, I can’t make any promises, you know that. We all need to be patient with him.”

For Leo’s sake, they kept him at the office. He resumed light duties after a week of rest, and this seemed to excite him from what I could tell.

I hadn’t really been allowed near him. It was hard to go home to my apartment without his hand in mine, his laughter filling our home as we cooked dinner and how he claimed he would devour all the food he cooked if he could eat it. The nights were long and sleep was difficult when the bed was so cold. Even though he didn’t emit any obvious body heat, it was nicer than rolling into the empty side of his bed and finding nothing to nestle into. The weekends were the worst, miserable and lonesome.

It seemed so funny how I could revert to this behaviour when there were weeks over the several months together that he had been overseas and left me alone then too.

That was different. I knew he would come home then.

I attempted to grasp at all the hope I could muster. On the other side of despair was the determination to improve the situation. I couldn’t bring Leo home if he didn’t know who I was. And how would he learn if I wasn’t there every day? I begged Doctor Jung to let me in after I finished work for an hour every night.

On my first meeting, Leo was full of smiles and it made me believe it would be easy enough to entice his mind to remember me. Our conversations were light and fun and he welcomed me into his room with ease. I left feeling like it wouldn’t take long until he was uttering sweet nothings in my ear as we headed home together.

After a month of this though, Leo was less welcoming, and I was becoming depressed.

“I’m rather busy today, Yerin-noona,” he said as I sat down on his small sofa, his eyes barely focusing on me long enough before he turned back to his computer. “You don’t need to keep visiting me. It seems like it’s not fun for you anymore.”

“It is fun,” I mentioned softly, playing with my lips to distract my mood. “I like being in your company.”

“I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with your visits,” he admitted, his eyes barely looking in my direction.

The tears started to fall then. “I see.”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate you, I just don’t understand why you visit me every day. What need do you have with me? I’ve asked the doctor. I know I lack some memories I once had and he’s not prepared to let me know until I start figuring them out myself. Because I don’t have enough information to believe there is a need for us to meet like this, I’d rather we don’t anymore. Besides, it gets dark easily these days, and I worry about the increase in crimes with women at night. I would hate for your visits to put you at any risk. So I would prefer them to end today.”

I didn’t respond, my emotions were too strong for my throat to do anything but choke on the sobs. I got up and left the room, walking right into Jinyoung in the hallway.

He always seemed to hover when I was in the lab, probably because he remembered our training session months ago. He had befriended me easily, and when I was visiting Leo before all of this, he would often joke around with me, or hang out with our group when we would find time to meet up. But lately I felt I was avoiding all that associated with those happier times, him included. Glancing up at him, I merely shook my head. Jinyoung hugged me and then pulled back, his hands resting on my upper arms supportively.

“He doesn’t mean it; he just doesn’t remember you yet noona. You just need to be patient.”

“What would you know, Jinyoung-ah?” Leo asked, coming out of his room and looking between us. His eyes narrowed at the hands on my arms, a dark look threatening from his eyes. I made note of the expression and stopped Jinyoung from shifting back, glancing at the brunette and then back at Leo.

“Can you help me out of the lab Jinyoungie, I let my emotions get the better of me.”

“Of course noona, anything I can help you with, I’ll do.” Jinyoung’s hand was on mine, but I soon slipped my hands up his arm, resting into his side and walking away from Leo. As we went to round the corner, I glanced back to see the steely expression still within his eyes.

I knew that look anywhere. He was jealous, he just didn’t know why. It made me realise it wasn’t over yet.

“Noona, you shouldn’t use me to make him jealous,” Jinyoung chided in my ear with a sigh and I glanced up at him apologetically. “I mean, it was a good plan, but you’ll only hurt him and yourself in the process. I have to work with him, what good will it be if he thinks I’m in love with you? He’ll only back off from you further.”

“At least he got jealous,” I mumbled and Jinyoung laughed lightly.

“He’s too clever to fall for any tricks we try. As much as I would like to play into that role with you-” He stopped to grin at me, his eyes crinkling up in delight momentarily. “-We best not be that naughty.”

He was right, and I didn’t want to hurt Jinyoung like I had in the past either. Nodding to myself, I thanked Jinyoung for his help and left the department in a daze.

It wasn’t until I was home that I remembered the stats about being out alone at night feeling like déjà vu at the time. Racking my brain, I connected it to the first night we walked outside together, when I had tripped over when he asked if it was a date. He had said it then too.

The rollercoaster of this journey had dropped me into despair and started the climb back up all in one night. I knew I was grasping at anything because I was desperate to have Leo back, and not once did I want to consider he was long gone.

Perhaps I should have, it would have saved me some heartache.

  Three months passed by and everyone had moved on. The doctors were busy with the new additions to their AI interface, planning a huge event at the headquarters to celebrate the launch. Everyone that worked in the building was hyped about it, and the phones were ringing non-stop, Younha had even put Daniel on calls to help with the demand. Sohyun was busy assisting the events team after work, Doyoung joining her at the meetings that would go over everything they were planning for the launch. Gunhee and Jinyoung were working as a team on something too, and now that Jinyoung lived at Gunhee’s apartment, they were easily wrapped up in their own lab lingo on the rides home from work.

It was just me who had nothing to do. Of course, I was busy answering calls on my shifts, but there was nothing about my life that was different. I woke up, came to work, completed my shift and went home. Every day was the same, and everyone was too busy to notice.

At least, that was how it felt anyway.

I should have known better. They were aware of me nursing my shattered heart, my willpower dispersing the longer time travelled. They didn’t want to offend me with their own happiness, Daniel and Younha had adopted a cat to raise together, Doyoung had told Sohyun he loved her for the first time and meant it, and Gunhee was glad to have an easy connection with Jinyoung who would play games with him without growing bored at all. And I was happy for them too. They deserved to be living out the best days of their existences and I hoped one day, time will have travelled long enough that I could move on too.

I doubted I could actually believe in that, but I had to try.

_________________________

Next chapter

A/N: Goodness, isn’t Jinyoung beautiful? That could have gone very differently but he has some good morals. I hope you’re ready for the final segment in this saga. I know I am SO NOT READY to say goodbye, but I’m excited to see your final thoughts! 

Want to be added to the notified list? Leave a comment or reblog letting me know that you wish to get tagged in the upcoming chapters! Thanks everyone for the continued support!

@cramelot @chanyeolol @annoyingtiger888 @reddragon2 @this-song-thats-only-for-you@tanithrea @pastelsweaters-and-bubble-t@babybee05@strwalight@chakkyeonie@chellolaa@tkwoonnie @squeallyeel22

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[cheesedoodlesurprise]

Dragon Age 2 Rant

Someone brought it up in some random Facebook Group and it got me thinking that I should finally just put it down in words.  

Dragon Age 2 is so horribly underrated that it hurts.  

The game gets so much hate that people didn’t understand what it did right

–BUT let’s get this out of the way fast: The below rant does NOT include the Level Design.  The same 4 locations used over and over.  There is no excuse for that.  It is bad and it should feel bad for it.  However much the points i will make can also be transferred over to this failure as well, that is just warping a point to excuse lazy or rushed design.

The people I have spoken to tend to cite one main example of its failure as a Role Playing Game(barring the above shit level design) and that is simply that it fails due to its action-style gameplay when compared to the original Dragon Age:Origins.  And I understand that.  There’s two radian wheels(unless you have a computer) and you’re running around and there’s not really much Party Maintenance like it had in the original.  It is not what a traditional RPG should be, and the party direction system was not the best(it reminded me way too much of Kingdom Hearts and Donald’s proclivity to use mega-elixers every time he loses one bar of mp unless you jump in there and hit him with the no-no can) especially when you realize that capitalizing on Condition Statuses is a main feature in felling your enemies.  It is just a gross departure from what a Role Playing Game should be, compounded by the fact that this was the Second Installment and it was already deviating so much from the turn based-lite party management norm.

The answer to this is simple.  Think back to the beginning of the game.  What happens?

The Hawke family gets attacked by a big fuck-off dragon and the story immediately cuts to Cassandra giving Varric shit for telling her something as stupid as “A Dragon Appeared” and you see that this whole game is now a narrative work; a retelling of events by someone being interrogated.  

Not just anyone, A FUCKMOTHERING BARD!!!!

Have YOU ever played a tabletop with someone rolling a bard?

You can’t believe a word they say, because the truth is boring and never makes for a good story.  So when asked what they did when separated from the party, instead of ‘Oh, there was a goblin so i stabbed it in the back” you’re told of a daring battle with a Bugbear King, where after felling the horrid beast, you found the princess he was holding prisoner and after releasing her from her bonds, she then had you free her from another trapping: that of virginity.

The point is this: Bards Lie.

If you take nothing else out of not just this long, badly punctuated, rant, take that.  Bards Lie about everything and anything.  It is who they are.  The story is all that matters.  So what is a Bard to do when being tortured by a bunch of Zealots, demanding knowledge on what to expect when they track down and try to kill one of your best friends?

Punch. That. Story. Up!

You make what originally is just a standard-if not slightly above average-fighter look like a whirling dervish of death to any who would cross him.

That’s what makes the story so well, this isn’t just an unreliable narrator, it is THE MOST unreliable of narrators.  One that tells you, right off the bat, that a lot of this never even happened.  You never know what really happened to Hawke and his Band of Merry Murder.  So, yes, the gameplay is a lot more action-oriented and you don’t have nearly as many combat options(especially if you are a mage) but it’s punched up to 11 the whole time because the person conveying the story is giving it all a nice sheen of ‘this is what happens when people cross them.”  You are not watching the Story of Hawke in this game.  You are watching VARRIC’S story of Hawke.

But that only answers the main issue people have with the game.  The change in controls.

What I never got is this: How can you rip on an RPG about its controls?  They are just mechanics, nothing more, and I have to say Bioware games always kinda sucked at their Turn-Based-But-Not-Really Mechanics.  KOTOR had a lot of issues and the crux of it was the clunky interface and squad controls.  I would love to have a party on a set it and forget it mechanic and not having to constantly pause the gameplay to switch over to one of the characters because they chose to not move out of fire.  How is that better than a little bit of AI that will give your party even SOME autonomy?  Because if you wanna talk about immersion, a character who is, in the narrative of the story, talked up as the quickest cutpurse on this continent and can never be caught by anyone but for some reason can not even fathom the idea of moving away from a giant spike pile he can see on the ground and instead walks right through the damn thing and kills himself is example 1:3 under the definition of Ludonarrative Dissonance.

….My point is this: Combat in Traditional RPGs is kinda trash to begin with and the main reason you play them is not combat.  It’s story.  The story is the big pull.  And this game has story falling out its ass.  It suffers in some places, sure, with what you can tell is rushed design and you are pigeon holed in a lot of places.  Case in point:I was a Mage who hated Blood Magic but put a lot of faith in the Apostates, so when every time you choose to help runaway mages and they come back and, whelp, looks like they are Blood Mages now I was so VERY angry at the game.  Livid.  I honestly don’t think people who played Rogues or Warriors and got DEEP into their characters(@meonlyred, I’m looking at you) can really match that level of anger and disappointment in the story of a game.  No matter what I try, these people just kept failing me.  

But that is the point.  I got so invested into this story that I was disappointed in 1s and 0s.  Here I was, trying to change the whole of Kirkwall by action alone: proving that having Magic does not mean you will become a monster(and, yes, i HATED the goddamn teaser trailer because in it, HAWKE USES GODDAMN BLOOD MAGIC JUST BECAUSE THE FUCKING BULL MAN WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and yet every one I was putting faith and and having others trust my judgement on have been utterly betraying that faith and trust.

Because this land never functioned on the same as me.  I was the outsider.  The Fereldan immigrant, assuming that this world will function the same as the one I left.  Granted the land I left also had a jihadist attitude to my way of life, this new one in Kirkwall had a civil and social structure completely Foreign to me.  There was no way to change the way they viewed the world because I was just one person.  One Outsider, no matter my lineage, who couldn’t change anything.  This land was going to burn itself no matter what I did.  

And that was the point of Varric’s Story.  Hawke wasn’t the cause of the things that doomed Kirkwall.  The Expedition, the one that found the artifact that corrupted everyone?  Hawke just helped with the last leg of its setup.  They would have got it together eventually.  They would have found it.  Bartrand would have found it regardless.  And Anders still would have…. You know what, let’s save that shit til the end because I don’t want to upset myself early.

Anyway…. All of this would have happened no matter what(maybe a few things would have changed slightly, but not by much) Hawke did, but he was still in the middle of it all.  I know a lot of people like their stories to be centered around them, but those can get boring. Let’s use Fallout as an example: The Sole Survivor, wandering the wastes of The Commonwealth? When you spend your first 100 hours farming Duct Tape instead of finding your son, you come out to be an asshat.  But The Courier?  NOPE!  He was just a guy living in this world.  He isn’t the center of any story, really.  He is just a guy out for revenge, but he has no idea where to get it so him wondering around and dealing with random crap isn’t nearly as a disconnect as the game before or after it.  They are really fun and enjoyable protagonists.  Heck, one of my favorite Final Fantasys is 12: the one where you are NOT the main character of the story.  Thats the Sky Pirate and the Princess.  You are just tagging along for the ride, experiencing their story like a good audience surrogate.  

The only reason you are always being thrust into the middle of everything is because the Powers of this Town are throwing you at them.  The Qunari menace?  You are asked(told) to go deal with it, and it all blows up in your face because of someone else.  Hell you even tried to STOP the hellscape to be with Anders(that motherfucker) by being a good person and talking to him.  But nope.  He had his crappy agenda and nothing you could do would stop it.

….you know what, sure let’s talk about it now. That whole ending arc just pissed me off to no end.  There is Anders killing the ONE person in this whole city trying to hold everything together and treated people with even an ounce of trust and faith JUST TO PROVE A POINT THAT SIMPLY BY DOING IT DISPROVED HIS GODDAMN POINT!  

“Mages aren’t evil so I’m going to kill the beacon of peace in this whole shitty city which will lead to EVERY GODDAMN MAGE to just flipping a ‘whelp guess i’m an abomination now, time to murder everyone, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee blood magic is fuuuuuuuun!’ switch and I guess completely dismantle my entire point.  It’s a good thing Hawke stabbed me for being a fucking idiot” and then you come across the Mages who are holed up to protect themselves but, wouldn’t you know it, their leader turned himself into a Tentacle Death Monster and now you have to kill the one mage who had your back and was a beacon of not being a dickhole.  

All of this just constant “Mages are all evil dicks, lets torch them all’ just upset me so much.  I was playing the entire last part of the game with a giant grimace.  Angry at this whole damn city and making me kill all these people I tried to make better.

Yes, me.  I got so deep into this game(if you read up, I dropped the possessive pronoun a bit when talking about the story) that I was upset that they were betraying MY expectations of them as people.  Not Hawke.  By this time I got way into the game and imprinted.  

No matter what faults it has, in the end its story caused me to become so engrossed with it that even when it took a turn I did not like, I was so invested I was still hooked and responding to it as if it were happening to me.

I know it was a long rant that just sort of cut off, but Anders will do that to me.  Hell, I hated what he did so much, I even tried making a toon to romance him so I could see if there was more dialogue options or how it would shape with him actually having a loving relationship and nope! He still acted the same.  Just pleaded more for me to understand.  

I STILL had to gut him.  I was still so damn pissed off at him I had to kill him even as a character romancing him!

[nothe: wrote this up at work when I was bored so there is a very good chance I have odd stops and idea changes due to the nature of writing something while also having to work  on projects so it may be updated frequently]

[amourete-blog1]

(( and THIS is the log i actually fell asleep during. sorry tae. it seems like it ends abruptly and that’s bc the last message is one i actually sent when i woke up the next day and it was ungodly early in tae’s time zone. this happened during feli’s visit w clams.

tagging: @brackishbarracuda @vvicissitudo @9hosis and i should be tagging the rest of the muses here but, all the muns have been tagged at least, so let’s leave it there for simplicity’s sake?

this log goes over pretty much everything that happened so here’s an advance warning for: amputation, serious violence, child harm.

begin log:

Last Friday at 8:26 PM

amourete I know your AI or whatever robot bullshit is on right now, I don't know if you'll ever get this, but just... Come home soon. Please. I don't know why you left and I trust you to make decisions like that for yourself, but Clams is here and ready to fight for you and your home and I'm here with him, everyone's worried. I hope you're safe. I hope you're well. I love you. Yesterday at 4:35 AM

brackishbarracuda felide ?

amourete Oh my god it's you You're safe??

brackishbarracuda yeah im im safe im ha i was gonna say im alright but thats but no im okay im safe

amourete Okay. That's a start, isn't it? We can build on that.

brackishbarracuda fuck fel i didnt mean for any a this

amourete Did you think I assumed you did?

brackishbarracuda im ready for the worst from literally everybody right now especially from you

amourete You're not a weapon, Meenah. You're not borne of mindless violence and you don't break everything you touch. You're an angel, with all their destructive power when you choose, but there is still a choice involved. You know your anger. You know the blood you carry. You know what you can do because you've seen it a thousand times. I knew you wouldn't have done this without a *very* good reason. I just don't know what it is. I want to hear it from you.

brackishbarracuda aya was burnt my youngest the one with the fever

amourete Burnt?

brackishbarracuda im saury words are really fucky right now i got a message that said ayad been burnt after id left her with cho

brackishbarracuda she was screaming when i got there i ?? panicked is the only fucking word for it

amourete Do you remember what happened?

brackishbarracuda there was a knife and i fought sal and cho was holdin her she was already blistering i she was so loud fel i lunged and i took chos arm and if were done isle understand

amourete We're not done. Don't give up on me. Please. That's the last thing I want.

amourete Where is Aya? How bad are her burns? Was it fire, a stove?

brackishbarracuda give up on you felide i maimed your club im shes where i am shes bein taken care of theyre psi burns

amourete I know what you did but god damnit I've dated *both* of you for the same amount of time and I'm not leaving you to fucking burn if there's *something* we can salvage from this. I love you. I love them. This is only a point of no return if we make it so and I REFUSE to make it so.

brackishbarracuda felide i need a minute

amourete Take every minute you need. I'll be here. I always will be.

brackishbarracuda im here do you have uh questions

amourete A lot. Do you know what's going on here at home?

brackishbarracuda isle do the best i can youre with clams hes armored up

brackishbarracuda there will be no world in which i can thank you enough for lookin out for him

amourete And Cho and Sal? Vis? What do you know about them right now?

brackishbarracuda nothing

amourete Oh, good. I had been afraid someone angrier than me had gotten to you first.

amourete Cho is with Nicco. Lucy says he's a skilled medic - I believe her. They're alive, but injured. I don't think I need to tell you that. Lucy said Cho is asleep. Clams says they're compatose. I don't know which is true, I haven't had the time to find out. Either way, they're unavailable.

brackishbarracuda im buyin them a new one if theyll let me it aint gonna make anything right but i dont know what else to do

amourete Clams said something about Sal malfunctioning? I... don't know what's going on. I don't know where he is. I'm scared to find out. I can't stand talking to the fucking AIs for too long because it freaks me out not talking to them, but seeing their names. I'll... deal But not now. Vis is with Vici. He's scared out of his mind. Vici says he's been trying to distract Vis from thinking about what happened because every time he does, it's... bad. But he's physically safe, physically unharmed. Because of all these things, you are the first and currently the *only* one who was there, bore witness and knows what happened. Whatever you know, write it down. Tell me, tell Clams, I don't care, *write it down.* As honestly as you can.

brackishbarracuda im telling everybody you clams tuna arlequin kan my kid was hurt and i fucked up

amourete I know. I know you want to make it right - we're going to work on that, but with Cho out of commission right now, we can't. You need a record you can come back to, something reliable to remind you of what you saw and heard and did.

amourete You know right now, but my worry is that it will be less fresh in your mind as time goes on... You were afraid. You panicked. Those memories don't last long.

amourete Hey, baby?

brackishbarracuda y yeah yes

amourete Thank you for not running from this. Thank you for facing it. I know it took time. I'm glad you did it.

brackishbarracuda where did you come from i mean not that fuck

amourete Try again. :PP

brackishbarracuda i feel more selfish than i have in a long time telling you this like i have any right to it but i love you

amourete I love you too. That's why I'm here. I'm not giving up on you, so don't give up on me. We're going to make it through this. We'll find a way. I don't know what the future holds, but we're going to face it and come out okay on the other side. All of us.

amourete I'm upset that this happened. I'm worried. Cho is hurt, and I love them. I've been angry and frustrated, but those aren't directed at you: right now what I feel most of all is concern, for everyone.

brackishbarracuda howd a troll with a heart that big get hatched

amourete With a tail, apparently. :PP

brackishbarracuda so thats where all the extra patience wnt

brackishbarracuda went fuck

amourete :** I know you didn't mean to do this. I know you better than that. Yes, though, it still hurt... And I'm not one of the ones most hurt either. You know this. I know you do. You already know the weight of this, I don't need to tell you. I want to support you doing what you can to try to make this right. Right now, I'm just glad you're okay. When Cho is here, we can figure out everything else.

brackishbarracuda how many times am i gonna cry tonight fuck

amourete Too many.

brackishbarracuda naut enough

amourete When are you coming home?

brackishbarracuda not yet i dont know not for a few days at least the last thing i want is targets on yalls back for this im uh im at dirks btw

amourete I've lived hundreds of sweeps with a target on my back. No troll alive could kill me in my first life, and no one will in this life either.

amourete Stay there as long as you need. I just wanted to know - I won't tell anyone but your partners, should they ask. And Mituna. For anyone else, they'll have to ask you.

brackishbarracuda thank you i have done nothin in my life to deserve you

amourete You can keep telling yourself that, or you can do something about it. Now you're coming up to a chance to do just that. Make me proud. I love you. I want you to know that. I love you so much.

brackishbarracuda fuck fel

brackishbarracuda its its down

amourete It's down?

brackishbarracuda what happened

brackishbarracuda all that i can remember

amourete You actually did it. Fuck. I didn't think you would. :'33

brackishbarracuda you asked me to what else was i gonna do

amourete Anything else? I'm still just so... Out of it. God.

brackishbarracuda if you if you wake up tomorrow and realize im unforgiveable isle understand

amourete Baby, no...

amourete Listen. I'm not the one to make that decision. You never struck me. Seek forgiveness from them first, when you can.

brackishbarracuda why arent you pissed at me

amourete Because being angry at you would do nothing but drive a wedge between us.

[eludum-a]

tagged by: @hikaup thank!! tagging: @ultimatetalentless @mideoku @ongakuvoices ... steal it from me if you want. i rly dont care

name: my real name is mina lmao i dont rly try to hide it nickname: meme. irl and online age: 21 faceclaim: mikoshiba mikoto from geksho pronouns: she/her/hers but i rly... dont care. ill answer to anything height: 5′4 birthday: july 26th aesthetic: uhhh pastel colors (pink mainly), cute animals (specifically cats, weasels/ferrets, hedgehogs), desserts and cakes and candy and things like that, things that are Small that arent naturally that small usually, just... cute stuff. thats rly it. the only other thing i can think of is like, witchy/foresty stuff and maybe when characters get the shit beaten out of them but stay standing/keep going anyway bc thats my jam and it looks cool as hell last song you listened to: all alone by fun. in the car. i rly need some new songs

favorite muse(s) you’ve written: a bunch of ocs tbh (pokemon & mass effect mainly), chiaki, im havin a lot of fun on kotone so far

what inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): i was so extremely displeased with dr3′s treatment of chiaki (both AI and human) that i decided i kinda wanted to rewrite things... as time went on i ended up developing human chiaki a lot more because there was a lot more wiggle room, and so, here i am, basically. some aspects of her personality and backstory are inspired by my own personal experiences (only if i felt they’d fit within what we’re given in canon), and honestly it’s been a lot of fun finding ways to fit things from dr2 into human nanami. as in, human nanami is this way but because of the nature of AI chiaki and how she was built, she ends up this way, etc etc. in other words... my goal isn’t to directly contradict canon! it’s mainly to build upon it. the only exception then is my chiaki’s body type, which has been a headcanon i’ve had for her so long that it’s not rly even a headcanon to me anymore, it’s just how i think of her regardless. to write her any other way would have been contradicting my vision of her

what’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: honestly, just seeing what other ppl come up with? if i see somebody rly good im like, wow, good ideas!! im gonna take inspiration from this!! and if i see something rly bad im like wow, let’s not be like THAT lmao. i love rp because i love bouncing ideas off other ppl, im absolute shit at stciking with a narrative when its just me

favorite types of threads: i would say................ those threads that are a mix of fluff and angst. like, two characters trying to comfort each other even though they’ve got a bunch of shit going on at the same time. second favorite is conflict between friends or lovers because i love writing that complicated, messy shit that’s not necessarily toxic or even unhealthy just... rubbin each other the wrong way at the wrong time. bc thats what real ppl are like, yknow? theyre messy and convoluted and have flaws and nobody gets along rly great all the time and thats. okay. they’ve gotta work things out and thats only human

biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: ummmmmmmmmm. its kinda hard to say. it can be kind of difficult balancing the traits i’ve given her with the traits she’s displayed in canon? when she’s getting emotional or distraught or angry i always worry ppl are gonna like, point a finger at that and be like “hey that’s Out Of Character”. like i guess im pretty comfy where im at with her, i think i do a decent job writing her and i like what ive done but... that doesnt mean other ppl do?? and it’s easy to say “well you do what you want and don’t worry about what other ppl think” but at the same time rpin is all about vibing with other people and getting excited and gushing about your characters and i cant rly... do that... if other people dont particularly care for the way i express my character.

but the good news is i dont think i’ve had a huge problem with that!! some days i feel worse about it than others but overall i think i get some great support from the community and im always so glad to hear ppl say they like my interpretation bc bitch me too. the fuck?? come here and let me yell about our characters with u