#<-using this tag for object show posting from now on because '' object show'' is a mouthful
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atrophiedemotion · 2 days ago
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escapism vs reality in alien stage
in this post (elaborated greatly by geo's tags as well) i mentioned a big sua/till parallel i noticed (but didn't go into much detail because i didn't want to derail the post lol), and i wanted to go into more detail on that and the overall reality vs fantasy theme alnst has going.
sua & till both use their love for mizi as a form of escapism. sua's love for mizi and the weight of her knowledge of their universe causes her to create a safe (fake) bubble for her and mizi to exist in & makes it as perfect as it can be before they're out of time. till uses his love & admiration for mizi as a beacon of hope, as motivation to go on despite how horribly he's treated in day to day life. mizi is the brightness in both of their dull lives.
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this view of mizi as a hopeful, optimistic sort-of deity sheds light onto an entire theme of alien stage, escapism vs reality. it also shows that mizi & ivan, in this specific instance, are antitheses of each other.
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mizi, as a character, symbolizes hope and escapism. she is the only character out of the main four that didn't understand the exact conditions of their world due to how she was raised. she does not fully grasp how horrifying the alnst universe is until she watches sua die, which is the inciting incident for the entire series. escapism isn't possible anymore, but hope is still there when she gets rescued by hyuna and joins the rebellion.
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ivan, on the other hand, literally symbolizes truth and the reality of their world. since he was born he understood the cruelty the segyein are capable of and knows exactly where he stands in the world. he is seen to be fatalistic and even nihilistic. his death, which he sees as an inevitability, is the second inciting incident (the one where everything goes to shit chaos afterward). it is a brutal reminder of the truth of alien stage to both the characters and the audience.
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sua & till actively seek out mizi as solace in their pain, and they both actively avoid ivan (in their own ways) and the connections he has to reality.
sua avoids ivan because, well, he's mean to her, but mostly because he's not even trying to be mean, he's just objectively right and she doesn't want to hear it. he is a reminder not only of the cruel world they live in but her own 'twistedness'. he reminds her that she is not solely the fantasy she's created with mizi, but someone with unavoidable knowledge of the inevitable (as well as someone who is willfully keeping this information from an unknowing mizi).
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till avoids confronting his feelings for ivan and confronting ivan in general because ivan confuses him. his feelings for ivan aren't cut and dry in the way his feelings for mizi are, because ivan is and always will be tied to pain and suffering for till (their first meeting in the auction shop, their miscommunication/strange relationship, the fact that ivan is the only one who sees him at his most vulnerable, etc). ivan's death forces him to confront these feelings (for ivan & about their world in general) but even then he's repressing them until he physically can't anymore.
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mizi is escapism & hope, literally realized because she escapes. ivan is reality & a representation of the fate of alnst contestants, literally realized through his death.
it doesn't end there, though. sua & till are escapists running from reality (with diverging paths that are both narratively important in their own ways), while mizi represents escapism & ivan represents reality. along similar lines, but going a step further, hyuna & luka showcase these exact themes.
hyuna is the legitimate showcase of hope, of freedom. she is a free human (as free as you can get in the alnst universe) and the leader of a human rebellion focused on uprising as a race against the segyein.
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luka is the perfect example of compliance within reality. he is now a two time alien stage champion and the definition of a pet, no matter how he actually feels.
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hyuna & luka are similar to, but a step beyond, mizi & ivan. mizi symbolizes escapism, but she is faced with reality and must grapple it, while hyuna is freedom personified (albeit with demons of her own). ivan symbolizes reality, but he still yearns for something he thinks he'll never have, while luka completely shuts off those emotions because he knows they will only jeopardize his chances of survival.
the characters of alien stage perfectly embody one of the core themes of alien stage, the discrepancy between fantasy and truth, and the way those can coincide in a world.
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turoce · 1 year ago
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i know you're an object show fan if you call yourself Leafy because the only other relevant Leafy out there is a cunt and i don't know why you'd call yourself after a youtuber
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frostbitebakery · 8 months ago
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LOUD.
“It’s a,” and here Cody bites his lips, scratches the side of his nose.
“A?” Obi-Wan prompts gently. Keldabe Kiss doesn’t, objectively, sound too dirty. What’s in a name etc. but when Cody had said, if Obi-Wan is game, they could try something, Obi-Wan had kept his expectations open.
“It’s a headbutt,” Cody wrings out of himself after another few seconds.
On the list of things Obi-Wan had, after all, expected to some degree, this isn’t one of them. He keeps silent. “You want to give me a concussion?” He’s great at being silent, turns out. “Or vice versa?”
Cody is already shaking his head, foot gently shoving his helmet further away from them. “No! It’s a sign of affection…”
Only in the Mandalorian culture, Obi-Wan thinks fondly. “Explain it to me,” he signs, eyes crinkling despite himself.
Cody huffs, leans back against the wall behind his bunk. Most of his armor is stacked on its stand. The helmet on the floor near them because Cody had been fiddling with the antennas when he’d gripped it with both hands, stared at the visor, and asked if Obi-Wan knew what a Keldabe Kiss was.
Obi-Wan sits cross-legged in front of him, restless fingers playing with the starched to death blanket. The mask is on and he wishes it weren’t. The last engagement had knocked the air right out of his lungs when a Hyena-class suddenly dropped down on them and delivered proton bombs on mass. He ended up gasping and on his back after the action was over, so for now the mask stays on.
Cody adjusts the hem on the t-shirt he’s wearing, the bandage no longer peeking out when he’s done. “I’m stalling.”
“I noticed,” Obi-Wan signs back, knocks his shin against Cody’s and lets it rest there.
“Growing up,” Cody begins after a few long moments where he’s watched their legs touch, “we’d sometimes see the Template put his forehead against Boba’s. Gently,” he adds, crooked smile for Obi-Wan’s concussion related fears. His voice turns wistful and Obi-Wan’s heart aches. “We didn’t— most of us didn’t want to be in his place. The Template hadn’t been popular with the clones long before he rejected us. But something about that gesture…”
The gentleness of it in contrast to the cold, neutral environment they’d been growing up in. The obvious affection of it had been calling them. One of the trainers had let it drop what it was named. And over time they had been able to put together a definition.
“You headbutt your enemy to get out of close quarters engagement,” Cody explains. “You have to be aware how you hit them so you don’t injure yourself while inflicting the maximum amount of damage to your opponent.”
“Is that why your nose is a bit,” Obi-Wan signs, pointing at the crook of his own nose just above the mask.
“Wolffe’s head is harder than his bucket,” Cody mutters, thumb stroking over Obi-Wan’s ankle absently.
The other definition, the one the clones had mostly embraced, the one that brought warmth and solidarity into their midst when no one else provided it, that one was based on affection. Clacking your helmets together after the heat of a battle, a job well done. Bringing your foreheads together to be there, to mourn together, to show the other isn’t alone. To remind the other they’re loved.
“It’s also a proxy for a kiss,” Cody explains, color high in his cheeks which makes Obi-Wan’s heart squirm in his chest. They’ve had sex a few possible and impossible ways and yet Cody is blushing over explaining a kiss. It’s sweet and touching and— “You can’t kiss when you wear buckets,” Cody says, “and sometimes you can’t kiss at all for various reasons. So it’s— it’s a kiss by proxy,” he ends, shrugging helplessly and aborted.
Obi-Wan waits as the question builds up inside Cody, firming the strokes of his thumb, the determination in his spine. He waits while Cody is stealing his breath.
“Can I kiss you?”
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ghosty-writes-23 · 3 months ago
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(Re-Vamp) His Precious Doll. - Leon S Kennedy.
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!TAGS!: NSFW Content, Porn with Plot, Yandere!Leon, !DARK CONTENT!, Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Stalking, Breaking & Entering, Past Trauma, Slight Somnophilia, Obsessive/Possessive Behavior, Angst, Panty Stealing, Surveillance, Blood, 3rd Person’s POV, Mental Instability, Drama, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Eating out, !WRAP IT, BEFORE YOU TAP IT! (Don’t be like Leon and y/n), Bareback sex, Riding, Creampie, Leon is a simp, !UNEDITED!
Pairing: Ghostface!Leon + Best!Friend!Fem!Reader
Rating: Mature
Summary: "Oh....Y/n, Y/n, Y/n; You Are In Terrible Danger." You where the object of his affections and he would do anything to have you even if it meant kidnapping you and taking you always from the ones you loved because he wanted to keep you safe.
Word Count: 12k
Ghosty's Notes: Hello my lovelies, I know I promised part.2 to Ghostface!Leon almost over a year ago and never got around to it. (*hangs head in shame*) but fear not as I have come back not only with a new Ghostface!Leon one-shot, but I have written both part.1 & part.2 and even added a part epilogues and updated the story in this post. This now has a story and full smut scenes, thank you so much to the people that have waited this long, I am so sorry it took this long to finally get around to it, so please enjoy this updated new & improved version of His precious Doll face with a new title.
Another Note: This was written with either RE2R!Leon or RE4R!Leon or InfiniteDarkness!Leon in mind.
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Thank you for all the support, it means alot❤️
-Ghosty :] ❤️🦝
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Part One: The Wolf In Sheep Clothing.
In the small town of Raccoon city people were getting ready for the Halloween celebration, you loved the spooky season, the cold weather as it gave you an excuse to stay inside all day wrapped up in blankets and watching movies. Tonight, there was Halloween parties going on all around your university, people getting dressed up in funny costumes, some girls going dressing up as bunnies in hopes to get with somebody that is good in bed for the night while boys went as superhero’s to show off their abs and trying to find themselves a girl for the night. you weren’t really into the partying side of Halloween night, or dealing with the hangover afterwards but you did enjoy giving candy to trick or treaters when you used to stay at your mom’s house.
But even with all of the festivities going on there was a small feeling of unease in the town that not even the celebration of the spooky season could hide, recently there has been a string of murders and missing people on campus and as much as people want to pretend it never happened, there is this constant feeling of needing to look behind you and not to travel alone at night, the only evidence the police have found at one of the crime scenes was a Ghostface mask, they don’t know if it from the actual murder for just a Halloween prop but the police are not taking my chances.
Your father was the chief of police at the Raccoon city police department, he was doing everything he could to try and get the person responsible for these crimes and put them behind bars but also to protect the people of this city, you saw how hard your dad worked and sometimes you wished he could take a break ad you could hang out like you used to when you where younger, but you knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon so they is why you always savoured the moments you did get with him.
Shaking your head you decided tonight you would be having a self-care night maybe paint your nails, do a face mask and watch buffy the vampire slayer since you found it on Netflix and you had stolen the password to Leon’s account, while you were getting everything set up you where scrolling thought your phone and a news article caught your eye.
It was about the recent body that was found in the lake near the bridge that was located just on the outskirts of town, it seemed the killer striked again and it was another guy you had seen around your university, you think you one or two classes with him and only talked to him a couple of times he seemed like a nice guy from what you could remember.
The article was calling out the police authorities saying they could be doing more, that every missing person, or body found was their fault since they haven’t caught the killer yet, but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.
“It’s not like catching a killer is easy.” You mumble under your breath as you exit the article and locked your phone screen with a sigh. you knew your father was trying his best, both him and his department but how do you find somebody that seems to vanish into thin air, plus tonight will not be helping since the killer could be dressed up and in public and nobody would ever know, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
After a couple of minutes your phone buzzed, grabbing it you unlocked your screen and saw the text message was from your group chat with your friends Chris, Claire, Jill, Carlos, Luis, Ada and Leon. It was a group picture of them at the boys frat house party, they were all dressed up as various Halloween icons.
Leon was Ghostface, It was a tradition that you both dressed up as Ghostface, Chris was Michael Myers, Luis was Dracula, Carlos was a werewolf, The girls were pressed as the powerpuff girls, Jill was Blossom, Ada was buttercup and Claire was bubbles, they each looked adorable in their costumes.
Luis: You should have joined us; we miss you señorita.
Chris: Boo, you suck for not coming, Leon’s been pouting all night.
Leon: No, I haven’t.
Carlos: yes you have.
Claire: I agree with Carlos.
Jill: Me too.
Ada: I agree too.
Leon: Great now you guys are ganging up on me.*Leon has left the chat.*
Y/N: You guys need to stop bullying Leon.
Chris: Why it’s fun.
Y/n: Chris.
Chris: Fine.
Y/n: I’ll come to the next party.
Chris: You better, or I am dragging you out of your apartment over my shoulder.
Luis: You can’t threaten her like that.
Carlos: I would love to see that.
Y/n: Bring it on big boy.
With a small shake of your head, you laughed softly to yourself, this friend group was chaotic but you loved it all the same, you knew Chris wasn’t lying when he said he would come and drag you out of your apartment, he had done it once back in your first year of University.
You remember whining saying you wanted to stay in bed but Chris picked you up like a sack of potatoes and tossed you over his shoulder, then walked out of your dorm, but now you just accept your fate when you know he is coming over. When you clicked out of your group chat messages you saw you had a message from Leon.
Leon: I do wish you had come tonight, makes these parties more bearable.
Y/n: Sorry I wasn’t feeling it tonight, but I promise I’ll come to the next one, protect you from Chris’s teasing.
Leon: That would be much appreciated.
You and Leon had been best friend since you were in diapers, you basically grew up together, having been next door neighbors and your parents being best friends, you and Leon were always at each other’s houses, playing imaginary and make believe games, having sleepovers where you would stay up late watching movies and eat so much junk food your stomach’s would hurt, you went to the same schools and even got accepted into the same universities.
Leon was your bestest friend and your parent’s always used to joke that you and Leon would get married someday, you even had a little ‘wedding’ in your backyard with all of your stuffed toys as guests, your wedding ring was a strawberry flavoured ring pop while Leon’s was grape, you even still had the plastic bottom in your jewelry box.
But when Leon was 21 and you were 19 tragedy struck when Leon’s parents were killed in an car accident, there car was ran off a bridge into a lake, his mother died on blunt force trauma to the head, his father drowned trying to save his wife, you remembered the police officers coming to Leon’s apartment.
You were having your weekly movie night with the friend group, once they had told him the news Leon asked everybody to leave, but just as you were about to leave, Leon grabbed your wrist and pleaded for you not to leave him alone, that night was spend with Leon clinging to you and crying, he told you what the officers told him and your heart broke for him, you cried with him.
You promised him you would never leave him ever, and that you would always be there for him as you held him tightly against you, what you didn’t realise at the time was this would be the start of Leon’s every unhealthy obsession with you that you didn’t even know about.
Back in the present, you looked at the time and saw it was almost 12am, the streets were now quiet expect for the few occasional drunk collage student, you grabbed your TV remote and flicked off the TV causing it to now be completely dark in your living room, you stood up and wrapped your blanket around you as it was a cold night.
“Come on Oero its time for bed.” You say to your cat as it was stretching on the couch where you just were, she was snuggled up to your side purring softly, but she gives a soft meow and hopes off the couch following you up to your room upstairs.
As you push open your bedroom door you notice Oreo was looking behind her and down the stairs, almost as if she saw something or someone you didn’t. “come on cuddle butt its time for bed.” You say picking her up and giving her a cuddle and kisses all over her furry face.
She gave you a soft hiss, but she don’t try and move away from your affections and she was even purring against you, giving her head a final kiss you got into bed and she made her way to her spot on your bed, which was curling up right next to your chest, her little furry head resting on your neck, she liked being close even in her sleep.
“Nighty night Oreo.” You say as you flick off your bedside table lamp and nuzzle in your pillow getting comfortable, Oero gave you a oft meow back and moved until she got comfortable and soon fell asleep purring softly, and you two soon fell asleep completely unaware that Oero’s behavior before was a warning that somebody was in fact in your house and watching you sleep.
3rd person’s POV
Pushing open the door to your bedroom Leon creeped in quietly, his boots carefully stepping around your room as he carefully made his way to your bed, when he saw your figure sleeping peacefully his heart rate picked up causing him to start breathing heavily as his eyes roamed your figure like a starving animal looking at its next prey, carefully Leon reached behind his head and pulled off the cheap store brought mask, revealing his messy blonde hair that was slightly sticking to his forehead from sweat and blood, but not his blood but the blood of the man that had asked you out on a coffee date a couple weeks ago.
He didn’t even bother to clean up, he was lucky he was wearing mostly all black and being covered in blood doesn’t look suspicious this time of year, it was almost like the perfect cover. Carefully and quietly, he placed his bloody Ghostface mask on your bedside table and kneeled down beside your bed, a lovesick look on his face.
To Leon you were his whole entire world, his life started and ends with you, everything he did, every person he hurt or killed was to keep you safe, because when you love somebody you never want them to get hurt ever. He wanted to protect you from the cruelty of this world, he didn’t care if he had to get his hands dirty, or who’s blood he had to spill, if you kept that sweet, innocent and bright smile, he would let the world burn down just for you if you asked him too.
Taking off one of his bloody glove he gently ran his finger over the soft skin of your flesh, causing you to scrunch up at the sudden feeling, but you didn’t wake only making a soft noise that made Leon’s heart skip a beat in his chest, you were always so cute when you were sleeping, so blissfully and naively unaware of the danger you were in, Leon knew you trusted him completely and so blindly, he couldn’t help but feel it was foolish of you to be so trusting of him, especially after all the things he had done.
But that didn’t stop him from wanting you to be a part of him, for now and forever you were his wife after all in his eyes, that plastic ring pop bottom was his most prized possession and he planned on giving you a real ring and for you to take his last name as he wanted you to feel the same way he does about you, he wanted you to be equally obessed with him as he is with you, but he knows it will take time, he is a patient man especially when it is for his sweet doll.
Leon’s breath caught in his throat when he saw you stirring, you had turned over onto your stomach your cat Oreo was still snuggled up to you sleeping, when his eyes drifted back to you he saw your blanket had fallen off slightly giving him a sneak peek at your ass and the black lace panties there decorated them.
He knew that set all too well, he had brought them for you for your birthday a couple months ago because he saw you looking at them, he couldn’t help but imagine you wearing them just for him, giving him a little show and maybe even getting to touch you with them on, just the thought of being able to touch you was making him hard.
Letting out a heavy breath through his noise, Leon was frozen under you settled back into bed, once you had settled Leon had to resist the urge to kiss the small patch of skin near your hips that was peeking out from under your blanket because your oversized short had ridden up slightly. When he breathed in your sweet sent of vanilla and florals his eyes almost rolled to the back of his head as heat and desire ran through his body, you were always smelt so sweet, it was why he stole pieces of your clothing to take back to his apartment and bury his face in it, he stole things ranging from t-shirts and hoodies to your panties and when they didn’t smell like you anymore he would sneak them back into your apartment without you knowing and take something else.
He knew he was sick and perverted, but he couldn’t stop, he needed you like a normal person needs oxygen and if he couldn’t have you then nobody else would, you were his and have been since the day you appeared in his life like an angel, you were his and he was yours and he had to protect you even if it mean he put camera’s in your house without your permission, when you were visiting your parents, he always had to keep his eye on you like the tracker that was in the bracelet he had given you last year.
His blue eyes traced the curves of your body under the blanket, moving closer Leon made sure his movements didn’t disturb your peaceful slumber. His face was now inches from the back of your neck, his warm breath was hitting the back of your neck causing you to stir again since you were a very light sleeper, Leon didn’t want to wake you up, but he was so desperate to touch you to feel your soft flesh under his care callous hands.
Slowly he tugged your blanket down your legs revealing your soft and round ass. Leon made sure his touch was as light as feather as trailed his hand down your body until he would to the top of your panties, he could see a small wet patch forming causing the cotton panties stick to your slick folds.
Leon could feel his mouth go dry as his gulped slightly, licking his lips like a starving predatory looking down at it’s next meal, his pupils have been blown making also the blue of his eyes disappear as his breathing starts to pick up into soft pants as he could feel his pants start to tighten. Reaching up a callous hand he ran his middle finger up your clothed centre collecting some of your slick on his fingers, a soft groan left his lips when he felt how wet you were, it made him wonder what you were dreaming about, were you dreaming about him? Dreaming of the pleasure and ecstasy he could bring you if you would only let him.
Without hesitation Leon brought his finger to his mouth and eagerly suckled his finger, as soon as your slick touched his tounge and soft and pathetic whine left his lips, you tasted like heaven and sin mixed together, he could have came right there at just taste you, he wanted more god he craved more but it was far too risky, he wanted to watch you come undone on his tongue moaning his name in ecstasy as you wither under him and tug at his head.
Thinking for a second Leon moved to the bottom of your bed and carefully hooked his fingers into the side of your panties and carefully tugged then down your legs, keeping an eye on you in case you woke up, but luckily he pulled then down your smooth legs with ease, smiling at his small victory he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your leg as a small thank you for your little gift.
Once your panties were off he brought them to his nose and inhaled deeply, your sweet scent filling his nose causing his eyes to roll back as a deep primal growl rumbled in his chest, you were so innocent and so clueless, knowing he needed to go soon Leon got off your bed and pulled your blanket up over your shoulder and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“Goodnight my sweet doll, I’ll see you again real soon, love you.” Leon whispered before he gave your head another kiss before grabbing his Ghostface mask off your bedside table and placed it over his head, he put your black panties in his pocket for safe keeping before he carefully walked out of your bedroom, giving you once last loving glance Leon smiled underneath his mask before slipping out of your bedroom and closing the door softly behind him.
After leaving your apartment Leon headed back to his own, his heart was full after seeing you he could rest easy knowing you were happy, safe and sound. When he arrived back at the shared frat house he could see drunk and passed out people everywhere, with a tried sigh Leon walked over the limp bodies before he headed to the frat house basement.
It was where most of the alcohol was keep and it had a finger print code which only Chris or Leon could access it so nothing would ever go missing, but it was also a great place to find things in plain sight, after Leon had done some work on the room, he made it sound proof and is currently covered in tarps.
Once inside the small room Leon tugged off his Ghostface mask while walking over to his computer, hitting the space bar the computer jumped to life as Leon sat down in his desk chair, logging in Leon waited for the computer to boot up before a series of camera screen’s filled the wide screen.
All the screen’s where of different angles of your apartment such as your bedroom, bathroom, living room and kitchen, spare bedroom, this was how Leon keep you safe at all times, reaching into his pocket he pulled back out your pair of black lacy panties, Leon’s blue eyes then flickered to the screen that was showing you sleeping peacefully in your bed, a happy smile on your face.
“Soon doll, you will be all mine, and I will be all yours for now and forever until death do us part.” Leon says with a crazed lovesick smile, there were even small hearts in his eyes before he buried his face in your panties and inhaled deeply again, this time now muffling his groans as your sweet scent filled up all his senses.
*The Following Morning.*
Y/n’s POV
You woke up the following morning well rested and refreshed for the first time in a long time, Oero had woken you up with soft meows for food, you gave her furry head a soft kiss before you stretched your arms over your head, causing you to make a soft whining noise as your back and shoulders popped back into place, running your fingers through your hair to move it out of your face a thought sudden occurred to you.
Reaching under your blanket you noised your panties were gone and you were sure you went to bed with them on. “odd, I must of kicked them off when I was asleep.” You thought before getting out of bed and doing your morning routine, but something in the back of your head was telling you something was wrong.
But you pushed that thought to the back of your head, today you decided since you had no classes and no work you where just going to laze around home, play with Oero for a bit maybe go out and get some lunch with the girls if they weren’t too hungover but you didn’t know yet, it was rare when you had free whole days like this so you were going to savour every moment of today.
After showering and putting some comfortable clothing on, you went to feed Oero and give her a morning cuddle before grabbing your phone and looking at the group chat, there were heaps of pictures from the party some of them doing shots, other pictures of the girls dancing and even some of Leon pouting which made you laugh, he had gone all out this year with his Ghostface Halloween costume even having fake blood on his mask and knife.
But even the knife looked real but you knew it was a prop it was the one he used every year. You hearted most of the pictures before your phone started to ring, it was your father you answered immediately wondering what he could need this early in the morning.
“Hey dad what’s up.” You say as you flopped onto the couch in your living room, you hoped this was a happy call, but you knew him calling you during his work hours wasn’t a good sign, it was either something really important or he needed your help with something. . “Hi honey, are you free this morning?” he asked, something was off with his tone, it sounded more formal almost like he was using his police chief voice. “Yeah I am free this morning, is something wrong?” you asked him suddenly becoming uneasy as a wave of anxiety rushed over you on why your dad was now calling you.
“Could you please come to the station, I need to ask you a few question.” Your dad said and you nodded your head. “yeah I’ll be there in 20.” You say to him, after saying goodbye and went and got dressed in some comfortable clothing before you grabbed your bag and gave Oero a goodbye kiss and headed out of your dorm and headed to the police station that was in town.
There was a knot forming in your stomach, what could your father possibly be needed to ask you that he couldn’t do over the phone, the feeling made you feel uneasy and anxious as you got on the public bus and headed into town.
Once the Raccoon city police station, the friendly and polite receptionist gave you a warm greeting and asked you how your morning was going, you said it was going okay and then asked her about her morning to be polite, she said her morning had been slow but her husband had brought her in coffee and breakfast before going into work which you thought was really sweet, after your small chat she told you go wait in the waiting room and that your father would be with you soon, you have her a thank you and headed to the waiting room for your father to come and get you, luckily you only needed to wait a couple of minutes before you saw the familiar dark greying hair of your father, he gave you a small smile as he came over and pulled you into a hug. “Dad what’s going on?” you asked him as your head rested on his shoulder.
“Not here kiddo.” Your father says before he guiding you a small but more private room, it was a small interview room with a two-way mirror and camera to record everything and a table and set of chairs in the middle of the room, there was even a hook in the table that would hold a person in handcuffs to the table, you could also see a file on the table, now your anxiety was through the roof, why had your father asked you to come here so early in the morning. “Dad what’s going on?” you asked him more firmly now; you wanted an answer.
“Well honey you know the case I have been working on?” your father started, and you nodded your head, it had been dubbed the Ghostface murders because of the mask they are assuming the killer wears when he kills his victims, you knew your father was following every lead that he could, but even in a small town leads can dry up or go cold very quickly or lead to nowhere.
You knew it was weighing a lot on your father because all he wanted to do was bring closure to the families and all those involved, to make everybody in this town feel safe again. “yeah but what has this got to do with me.” You asked him not a little confused, why he is asking you this question, does he think you have something to do with the murders?.
“Well, when I was following some leads, I started to notice a common theme.” He started before opening the folder and showed you a range of pictures, they where of you talking to each of the victims, some of you walking to class together, or hanging out or even at parties. “you think I did it?” you asked your father shocked that he would ever think such a thing, but he quickly shock his head. “no honey but I can’t ignore the facts that you are a common theme, that you seem to be connected to each victim.” You father says trying to ease your worries, but it only made them worse.
“I wouldn’t hurt anybody.” You say to your father, and he nods his head and places his hand on yours giving it a small squeeze. “I know Hun and I believe you, but until I figure out who is behind all of this and have them behind bars I don’t want you to be alone.” Your father says causing you to look at him. “What are proposing.” You asked him, you really didn’t want a 24-hour bodyguard it would get on your nerve and would make you feel like you are being watched.
“Maybe you could get a friend to stay over, what about one of the girls or maybe Leon? I just don’t want you staying in that dorm alone with that nutjob loose.” Your father said as he looked at you concerned. You didn’t want him to worry, and you knew either one of the girls or Leon would be okay to come and stay, you just hoped this wouldn’t be a permanent thing.
“I’ll talk to either one of the girls or Leon today.” You says trying to ease his stress, he gave you a smile before pulling you into a hug. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you sweetheart, I couldn’t live with myself if you ever got hurt.” Your father mumbles as he gave you a soft squeeze around your shoulders, you nodded your head and hugged him back, you knew if your father was the police chief then you would be safe no matter what and that put you at ease a little bit.
After spending the morning with your father and answering his questions as honestly as possible and him giving you a few lessons on self-defense and giving you your own pepper spray and showing you how to use it, you had texted Leon if he could come and pick you up, you didn’t feel like going on the bus after a very emotional packed morning, as you waited outside you heard the familiar rumble of Leon’s car before he turned around the corner and came up to the curb.
“Morning princess.” Leon says with a usual cheeky smile, you muster up a weak smile as you got into the front seat and did your seatbelt up. “Morning Lee.” You say as you relaxed back into the seat, it was comfortable and there was a soft melody of music playing in the car.
“You okay, you sound down?” Leon asked as he pulled out onto the road, you nodded your head as you closed your eyes, even though you were at the police station for a few hours you felt drained. “Yeah just a busy morning.” You tell him as you gave him a small smile, but you knew Leon wasn’t going to believe you.
“How about we go away to my parents lake cabin for the weekend?”  Leon suggests knowing it would cheer you up, maybe getting out of town for the weekend would be a good idea you loved going to his parents cabin, you both used to go there a lot as children, you always dreamed of living there and you could use the distraction.
“Okay I’ll drop you off at home so you can pack, and I’ll came back over in a few hours.” Leon says and you nodded your head, you would have to pack everything you would need such as clothing chargers, laptop for classes and makeup and medication as well as get Oero’s traveling crate, because you knew you couldn’t leave her home alone for a weekend and plus you knew Leon liked having her around and wouldn’t mind if she came on the trip. You were excited for this little weekend getaway, but what you didn’t know was you wouldn’t be leaving this weekend getaway….
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Part Two: A Mouse Caught In The Monsters Trap.
When you arrived at the Kennedy lake house you felt a wave of nostalgia wash over you, the cabin looked to be in perfect shape, it was two stories and had a balcony that was in front of the master bedroom, there was a doc above the water, on the deck was a hot pool and a BBQ, the memories you had here warmed your heart you almost felt as if you were in your own little paradise.
“its just like a remember.” You said as you closed your car door, Leon had gotten out as well and walked over to you. “I come here every couple of weeks and clean up and maintain the property.” Leon spoke as he looked down at you.
“you did a great job.” You say causing him to smile and even the tips of his ears to go slightly red. “How about you go looking around while I get the bags inside.” Leon suggested and before you could argue and say you wanted to help him, he had shooed you away to go and explore your only little piece of paradise, to which you just playfully rolled your eyes and left to start on a little adventure.
There were flowers blooming and ducks swimming in the lake, the sound of the wind rustling through the tree’s, you remembered playing hide and seek with Leon when you where younger around the forest that surrounded the back of the house, you had always seem to find you while you on the other hand could never find him.
His parents always used to call him your shadow because he followed you around like one, you thought maybe like a puppy, but he didn’t care what you called him, but as you grew up you found comfort in knowing Leon would always be there for you no matter what. You found a comfortable spot near the lake and sat down and just soaked in the peace and quiet, no loud cars or traffic, no daily life stresses, even the stress about the morning you had with your father started to melt away, even if you were only staying here for the weekend you really did wish you could stay here forever.
*Later That Night.*
Leon was preparing dinner in the kitchen while you where watching him from the couch, Oreo was happily sleeping on your lap as you gentle petted her. “So, what is on the menu tonight chef Kennedy.” You say with cheeky tone as you watched Leon prepare what looked a tomato sauce and some pasta, he was wearing a cute little apron and had clipped back his bangs to not let them fall in front of his face as he focusing.
“Well, I was thinking pasta and chicken tonight, since I wasn’t able to get a lot of groceries today, but I will go into town tomorrow and get some.” Leon says giving you a smile as he was tasting the sauce off a spoon then adding in some extra pepper, Leon’s mother had taught him how to cook ad he soaked that information up like a sponge, you always enjoyed Leon’s cooking. You took a sip of your wine, it was a white wine and tasted of grapes and expensive, you weren’t really a wine drinker, but this was delicious.
“Can’t wait.” You say with a grin after you swallowed your mouthful of drink, placing your glass down you carefully picked Oero up and placed her on a cushion on the couch before getting up and going over to you phone that was connected to the speaker, unlocking your phone you decided to put on some music to set a cozy vibe, you could see Leon smirking as he leaned against the counter as he waited for the sauce to simmer. You picked a soft melody.
“Dance with me.” You asked Leon as you held your hand out, he playfully rolled his eyes before taking off his apron and walking over to you. “You know I have two left feet.” He tells you as he takes your hand and gave you a little twirl. “then I’ll teach you.” You say with a little giggle as you intertwined your fingers together and gently swayed around the living room.
“see your dancing.” You smile at him as you danced around slightly to the music. “only with your help.” Leon tries to brush you off before he gave you another twirl expect this time you decided to wrap your arms around his neck, while his hands went around your waist.
“Thanks for today.” You say as you looked up at him he looked down at you gave you a small smile. “you’re welcome, I’m just happy I could make you smile again.” Leon says causing a small blush to colour your cheeks, and this caused him to grin now. “you’re such a sap.” You say with a laugh as you both were still gently swaying to the music. “Only for you doll.” He says in a cheeky tone that makes you playfully roll your eyes but there was a smile on your face as you laughed at his dumb joke.
But as you slowly stopped laughing you looked into his blue eyes, and for the first time you felt your heart racing in your chest and before you knew it you softly kissed him, but as soon as you realized what you were doing you went eyes and quickly pulled away. “I’m so sorry.” You quickly apologized for your actions you couldn’t believe you had just done that, it must be the wine making you feel bolder than you usually are. But when you looked at Leon he didn’t look angry but a little surprised.
“Don’t be sorry Y/n.” Leon say clearing his throat before his hand gently landed on your face and he carefully pulled your face back to his and reconnected your lips in a soft and sweet kiss, you could still taste the tanginess of the tomato sauce he had tasted before, you slowly and hesitantly kissed him back but as you did you felt him pull you closer, this felt different from any kiss you had experience with a guy before, maybe it was because it was your best friend, but something about this felt right.
As your eyes fluttered closed Leon picked you up with ease, your legs wrapping around his waist as he started making his way upstairs to the master bedroom. Once inside the bedroom Leon kicked the door closed and gently tossed you onto the bed, a soft giggle leave your lips as you watched him walk over to you both were breathing heavily.
“You sure this is a good idea?” he asked you as he hovered over you, his arms either side of your head you could see his muscles through his shirt and it was making you wet, you knew this was either a really good idea or a really bad idea but at this moment your brain is clouded with lust making you not thing straight.
“You sure this is a good idea?” he asked you as he hovered over you, his arms either side of your head you could see his muscles through his shirt, he reached one hand up and moved some hair out of your face making your heart flutter slightly at the gentle gesture.
“we can stop if this makes you feel uncomfortable and pretend this never happened.” Leon says softly, when you looked into his baby blue eyes you could see nothing but love and warmth, were you really going to ruin your friendship for one night of passion, “Fuck it.” You say before pulling him down to you and kissing him.
The kiss was soft and sweet at first but slowly it grew more needy and desperate, Leon had tugged off his shirt and threw it somewhere in the room, you couldn’t but help admire his body, he was fit but not overly fit, you bit your bottom lip before you leaned up and removed your own shirt and tossed it onto the ground, You could see Leon’s pupil’s get bigger when he saw more of your bare skin, it made you feel a little more confident in your appearance.
“God you are beautiful.” Leon mumbled causing a small blush to come onto your cheeks, nobody had ever called you beautiful in such an intimate moment, maybe hot, sexy or cute but never beautiful.
You where gently pressed back onto the bed as Leon started to gently kiss your neck and his hand trailed down your body, softy squeezing your hips and your thighs, you felt as if your body was on fire with the heat the was coursing through your veins, As Leon kissed down your neck he unclipped your bra and carefully tugged it off before taking one of your nipple into his mouth and started a suckle ever so slightly, this caused you to slightly buck your hips as your breath hitched, his finger softly teased your other nipple and you squeezed your thighs together as you felt yourself becoming wet. “Leon.” You softly moan his name, causing him to look up at you with an almost love drunk look and he had barley done anything, only teasing the small bud with his mouth until it hardened into peaks. “stop teasing me.” You say with an embarrassing whine, a blush colors your cheeks.
Leon nodded his head before his lips started to travel lower until they got to the top of your shorts, slowly unbutton them and took then off and placed gentle kisses down your hips and lightly nipping at the thin waistband of your panties, you tried to close your legs but Leon just softly chuckled and placed soft kisses on your thighs, down your knees and legs before he gently pulled them open and placed himself between your legs.
You couldn’t believe you were actually going to do this, you were really going to sleep with your best friend, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol or that you might actually have feelings for Leon, he was always there when you needed him no matter the time of day or night, he always protected you and made you feel safe and cared for, maybe the reason it never worked out with anybody was because you were meant to be with Leon, but your thoughts are too cut off when you feel Leon’s kissing and gently biting your inner thigh.
“Distracted Doll?” Leon asks there is a small tease in his voice, but you can also hear the warmth and affection. “Sorry.” You mumble as you looked down at him, his eyes were watching you as if he was watching your ever reaction, Leon just chuckled softly against your inner thigh as he pulled his mouth away with a soft pop, there were a few love bites and bite marks on your inner thigh.
“Can I?” Leon asks as his eyes drift down to your panties which you knew soaked by now you could feel yourself clenching around nothing. You nodded your head knowing if you spoke it would probley come out in a pant more then words.
With your consent and permission Leon eagerly pulled your panties down your smooth legs and balled them up in his hand before bringing them to his nose and inhaling deeply, his eyes almost rolling back as your scent filled his senses, you had never seen something so erotic and sensual before, and you could see him hardening in his sweatpants and you bit your lip.
Soon he tossed your panties onto the ground with the rest of your clothes and looked at your pussy with a hungry daze as he licked his lips.
“Your already so wet princess.” Leon says before he reaches out and runs a single finger down from your pubic area, circles it around your clit earning him a few moans before sliding down to your entrance and slightly dipping inside to collect some slick before he brought the finger up to his mouth and cleaned his finger and in that moment you thought he came just from the taste of you.
Soon Leon spread your thighs widely apart then ducked his head between them before dragging his tongue along your slit in a long slow lick groaning at the taste before he started to devour you like a starving man and you were his first ever meal.
“Gonna make you feel so good doll, gonna make you mine.” Leon promised as teased your clit with his tongue as his eyes looked up at you though his lashes, sweet moans were falling from your lips like a song, no man had ever made you feel this good before, you could almost feel your eyes rolling to the back of your eyes and your toes curling, you felt Leon react two fingers up and used them to spread you even more, the blush on your face was burning bright red, your hands where gripping the blanket under you, all you could focus on was the pleasure Leon was bring you at this moment, it was almost enough to make you see stars.
“Fuck Leon.” You cried out as you felt your thighs begin to tremble around his head, you knew you weren’t going to last long under his skillful tongue, he didn’t even need to use his fingers, you feel Leon grinning against your pussy at the sounds you were making and how your body as reacting to his touch, looking down you could see the look of satisfaction evident in his expression, but soon he redoubled his effort with much more enthusiasm and lust.
“Your getting close Y/n aren’t you, cum for me please.” Leon softly pleaded against your pussy, you could see his face was coated in your slick and juices, and when Leon gently nibbled on your clit that sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry as your thighs trembled around his head. As you came down from your high you could hear Leon’s softly slurping against you before you gently pushed his head away since you were now a little sensitive.
When Leon pulled away he was grinning like a Cheshire cat as he licked his lips, you felt your cheeks heat p but Leon just gave you a small wink. “Do you want to keep going?” he asked as he ran his fingers though his sweaty blonde hair. You nodded your head and went to touch his sweatpants before he grabbed your wrists.
“tonight is about you not me, we can leave that for next time.” Leon says making you pout slightly you wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel before, but you nod your head and wonder what he has planned next.
“do you want to top, or do you want me too?” Leon asked as he slipped his sweatpants off, you could see the wet patch on his underwear, you thought for a second. “I’ll top.” You say before moving so Leon can lay down on the bed, it had been a while since you last topped somebody, Leon gave you a smile before laying down on the bed and help guide you to his lap, soon Leon reached over to the bedside table to grab a condom, but you decided to stop him, Leon looked at you wide eyed for a few seconds.
“Are you sure?” he asked you and you nodded. “I’m on the pill and my period isn’t due until next month.” You say with a small blush, you could also see a small blush on Leon’s face as well. “Only if your sure.” He says and you nod your head before you reached down and pushed his underwear down slightly before taking out his harden cock.
It was heavy in your hand and hot, precum was oozing from the head as it twitched ever so slightly, moving your hips back you line it up with your entrance before slowly sinking down, his cock stretching you slightly causing soft and grunts to leave both of your lips.
“So, fucking tight.” Leon cursed and you tried not to clench around him, but it just felt too good, Leon’s hand came up to your hips, helping to steady you and guide your movements on his lap, his eyes were dark with lust and adoration as his eyes roamed your figure as you bounced on him. “Oh y/n.” Leon moaned your name as his eyes fluttered shut and you could feel his hands slightly tighten on your hips.
You were moaning as well heavy pants and soft whines of pleasure were leaving your lips as you rode him, you felt as if you were on cloud nine, moving forward you placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself before you started to bounce slightly harder, at this pace he was perfectly hitting your sweet spot causing your toes to curl and soft squeals of delight to leave your lips, you could feel Leon start to move his hips in time with yours and it was making your eyes almost roll to the back of your head.
“Keeping moving for me sweetheart.” Leon grunts out as your body started to tremble again, you felt as if your brain was melting and all your throughs were getting hazy, all you could focus on was the pleasure Leon was giving you and you were giving him, in this moment it felt as if you two were the only people in the world.
“Leon.” You moaned out his name, you knew you were close, you could feel the knot forming in your stomach, it was getting tighter and tighter, Leon’s eyes opened, and he looked up at you, his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his blonde hair was sticking to his forehead, just as your body was sweaty and you could feel your hair sticking to your body.
“Say your mine.” Leon groaned against you, his grip on your hips was almost bruising but the mix of pain and pleasure was addiction, and at the moment you didn’t think about what you were saying or the consequences it would have later on. “I-I.” you tried to say but was cut off when a moan left your lips. “say your mine and then you can cum.” Leon says as he started to thrust up into you causing squeals to leave your lips.
“I’m yours.” You cry out as your whole body was trembling. “good girl, now cum for me.” Leon groaned out and as if you had been hit with a title wave you came with a choked by as you arched your back, soon Leon’s followed with a cry of your name, and you could feel him filling you up.
As the hazy pleasure subsided you fell onto Leon with a soft thud, you both were breathing heavily and covered in sweat, but there was no doubt you were both satisfied. When the trembling finally stopped Leon turned you over and laid you on the other side of the bed, before slowly pulled out with a wet pop. Now you were more than a little sensitive. “I’ll go get a warm cloth from the bathroom to clean the mess up.” Leon says and you nod your head. “yeah that might be a good idea because my legs are like jelly.” You say causing you both to laugh as Leon got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, you watched his bare butt disappear before you relaxed into the bed. For the first time in a long time, you felt really good maybe this would be the start of something good.
*The Following Morning*
You could feel the morning sun gently warm your body as you slowly woke up from your peaceful slumber, you ran your fingers through your hair before you spotted a note on your bedside table. “Gone to get groceries and other things, I’ll be back early this afternoon, if you need anything text me. – Leon.” The note say and there was even a few x’s on the note, it was sweet.
Placing the note down you couldn’t help the smile that came onto your face as you remembered last night, nobody had ever touched you like that, it was almost as if Leon knew your body like the back of his hand.
Running your fingers though your messy hair you decided to get out of bed, and grabbed one of Leon’s shirts off the floor and slipped it on as you headed to the kitchen downstairs to feed Oreo and make your morning coffee, Oero followed closely behind you and rubbed herself on your legs as if she was saying good morning to you, quickly you got her some food and water before turning on the kettle and grabbing your phone to see what’s going on the group chat, only to see nothing.
“odd.” You thought, the group chat is always lively, and you hadn’t seen any new messages on it since yesterday, usually Chris is talking about something or Claire and Jill are sending meme’s to each other but there was nothing, suddenly that feeling of unease from yesterday washed over you again, something just isn’t right but you can’t seem to put your finger on it, and slowly you started to doubt if coming on this little vacation with Leon was such a good idea.
Later On, In the Day Leon has still yet to return to the Lakehouse, but you have been keeping yourself entertained by reading some books you found, playing with Oreo and watching some TV, it was an oddly quiet morning and midafternoon, you did check your phone every now and then to see if there was anything new in the group chat but there was nothing, you went to go and text Claire to see if something had happened but to your shock his number was gone from your phone, along with most of your contacts.
“What the hell.” You thought as you tried to find the rest of your contacts but all you could see was Leon’s number and a few other numbers. Maybe your phone was malfunctioning, but it has never done this before you had only got this phone a couple months ago, sighing softly you tossed your phone onto the couch, just wondering what the hell was going on.
When Leon finally returned back you helped him get the shopping out of the trunk of his car, he had brought a lot of food for both you and Oreo, some toys for your kitty and even some roses for you that made your heart skip a beat, but it still didn’t cover the unease you felt in the pit of your stomach. “Leon do you know anything about the contacts on my phone going missing?” you asked him as you were grabbing the last bags of shopping out of the trunk. “No idea princess.” Leon says as he takes the bags from you, but as he did something in his trunk caught your eye, it as a duffle bag, you didn’t know why but your stomach was tell you to not open it.
“maybe you should get a new phone?” Leon suggests as he closes the trunk to his car, snapping you out of your thoughts you have him an awkward laugh at his suggestion. “Maybe.” You say before you headed inside, for some reason your head was screaming at you to look in the duffle bag were as your stomach was telling you not too.
*Later that afternoon.*
While Leon was busy going for a swim in the lake, you took this opportunity to go into the trunk of his car, you were just hoping it was just full of clothing and that you where just overthinking things, carefully you opened up the car trunk and grabbed the duffle bag, it was heavy and slowly you undid the zipper, and you saw Leon’s bloody Halloween Ghostface costume mask and blade. “I’m overthinking it.” You say as you took a little at the mask, but it only took a few seconds for you to realise that it wasn’t fact blood on his mask but real blood.
“Oh my god.” You say as the realization hit you causing you to drop the mask, but suddenly you felt a presence behind you, the one that used to bring you happiness and safety now made you feel fear and ice cold. “Well, aren’t you a curious little doll.” Leon’s voice spoke but his voice was deeper than it usually is, a soft squeak left your lips. “It’s you, you’re the Ghostface Murderer.” You managed to say as your body begins to tremble in fear, you where here alone with a murderer, what was his plan for you, was he playing you this whole time.
“Guilty, but you have trust me I did this to protect you, those men would have hurt you and used you but not me.” Leon says before turning you around and cupping your cheek in his hand, his callous thumb running over the soft flesh, you were lost for words your best friend a man you trusted was a killer, you had slept with a killer, nausea started to fill your stomach, and you felt as if you wanted to vomit. “Your delusional, how could you hurt innocent people Leon.” You choked out as you pushed his hand away harshly. “they were not innocent.” Leon says with a growl under his breath, his face going hard for a second.
“You’re a monster.” You snapped at him as you tried to leave, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him. “no, I’m not, I’m just protecting the woman I love even if she doesn’t see it.” Leon says as he tightens his grip on your wrist. “Leon this isn’t love, this is obsession, this isn’t healthy.” You say to him before whimpering slightly at the grip on your wrist.
“You are not leaving me.” Leon tell you firmly before he pulls you to him and wraps his arms around you. “you promised to be my wife remember when we where younger, I plan on keeping you to that promise.” Leon says with a grin that made it felt as if you whole world had been shattered. You were trapped here with a murderer that was obessed with you.
It had been 2 weeks since you had gone missing, the Lakehouse that once held happy memories of you and your childhood best friend Leon, was now your prison that you couldn’t escape no matter how hard you tried, you sat on the couch curled up into a ball as you petted Oero you were glad Leon hasn’t hurt her, you knew you needed to get out of here but you knew it wasn’t going to happen easily Leon barley left you alone and always seemed to know where you were.
Over the months Leon’s confessed to everything from hiding camera’s in your house to the murders and even to blocking all the contacts on your phone. He was no longer the man you knew and cared about, The sweet and loving Leon was gone and was replaced with a person you barley recognized.
“Honey I’m home.” Leon called out as he walked in front the front door holding some shopping bags, you weren’t aloud to go outside unless he was supervising you, but even when he wasn’t home you knew he was watching you from the camera’s that had been placed throughout the house.
You didn’t say anything, and this caused Leon to frown slightly, before he waked over to you and gently grabbed your chin in between his fingers and tugged your face to meet his. “I said honey I’m home.” He says in a sweet tone, but you knew it was anything but sweet. “Welcome home dear.” You say monotone as you looked at him.
Your eyes had lost there usual spark they used to have; it was almost like you had given up on life because how were you meant to live your life when your trapped in what felt like a prison. Leon smiled at you and gave your lips a soft kiss, you didn’t kiss back before he went over to his bags and pulled out what looked like a piece of paper.
“Look what I found today.” He says with what can only be described as a giddy smile and laugh before being opened the piece of paper, it was a missing person’s poster with your name and picture on it, there was even a reward on it if you were found.
When you first see the poster it made tears spring to your eyes, knowing you were never going to see your loved ones again, that they were out there looking for you hoping that you would come home safe and sound, but you weren’t you knew Leon wouldn’t let you go that easily, you gave up trying to reason with him when you spent the first week of your captivity trying to convince him to let you go and you wouldn’t tell anybody what happened and you wouldn’t report him to the police.
But all he said was why would he let you go, he loved you and knew with some time here and some tender love and care you would love him the same way he loved you he promised you. But all you felt was dread, hopelessness and sadness. You just hoped by some miracle somebody would either find you or come looking for you before it was too late.
*2 Weeks Later.*
A month had passed since Leon had kidnapped you, nobody had come looking for you and you had fully given up now, the only positive thing you had in your life right now was Oero, who happily purred against you and wouldn’t leave your side, it was almost like she knew something was wrong and didn’t want to leave you alone, Leon had gone out again you didn’t know for what this time, but you knew he would bring back another missing persons poster of yours and show you that your father was increasing the reward, it almost seemed like a game to him.
You were now Leon’s wife, not officially but he had put a wedding band on your finger, or more like forced it, he called you wifey and darling and all sorts of cute pet names that if it was anybody else would make you feel happiness or even warm and fuzzy, but all you feel is sickness and cold wash over you whenever he says your name or pet name he came up with.
It was late afternoon when you heard a car pull up, it seemed Leon was home but then you heard heavy footsteps and what sounded like multiple voices, did Leon bring back a guest? You thought as you suddenly went to hide. But soon you heard your name being called out. “Y/N!” Chris called out and you felt tears in your eyes, then you heard knocking on the door. “Y/n it’s me Claire can you open the door.” Claire sweet voice said, and you felt tears in your eyes, they had come for you ere finally going to be taken from this nightmare. “I can’t, Leon has the key to the door.” You choked out as you wiped the tears that were running down your cheeks.
“Are you okay, your not hurt?” you heard Luis causing more tears of joy to roll down your cheeks. “not besides a few bruises you say before you heard Chris’s voice again. “Y/n back away from the door, I’m going to boot it down.” Chris warns, you pick Oreo up and went and hid in front of the couch, encase some of the door pieces came flying, at first he wasn’t successful you could hear him cursing outside before he asked Luis and Carlos to help him and with the men’s combined weight on the door came flying open, the lock and deadbolt chain snapping in the process.
As the door swung open you stood up and looked at the group walked in, Claire had tears in her eyes as she ran towards you and hugged you tightly, as did Jill and even Ada, you hugged the girls tightly before you began to sob into there arms. “we finally found you.” Jill says cupping your cheeks in her hands, she used her thumb to wipe your tears that were running down your cheeks. “Yeah you did.” You say smiling before the girls moved away and now it was time the boys gave you a hug, Chris hugged you tightly almost like a bear, then it was Luis who cried a few tears and gave you a squeeze, Carlos gave you a hug and ruffled your hair he was glad to see you were alright.
But as happy of a reunion this was you knew you had limited time. “We have to get out of here, Leon he is the Ghostface murder.” You says and they all nod there heads. “We know Luis found his computer hide out in the frat house basement, that was how we found you we used the tracker in your bracelet.” Ada explained and you nodded and you kind of felt grateful you didn’t take it off.
“We will get her stuff, Claire can you and the others make sure Y/n gets in the car okay.” Chris asks knowing we don’t have a lot of time before Leon arrives. Claire nodded as she pulled away from you. “I’ll take her in my car.” Claire says giving Chris a nod before the boys started going around the house to get yours and Oero’s stuff.
“Oero come here girl.” You call out holding out your arms, Oero came running into your arms and did a small leap, you caught her swiftly before you were guided outside and towards Claire’s car, once inside the back you had Ada on one side of you with Jill on the other, Claire was in the front in the drivers seat. You were finally free from this hellish nightmare, but just as happiness started to fill your body you heard another car pulling in, it was one you were all too familiar with, a soft whimper left your lips as Leon stepped out of his car, his face was hard and cold as he saw the front door had been busted down.
“What the fuck do you think your doing.” Leon yelled when he saw Chris walking out with what looked like your bag of clothing. “getting Y/n away from you.” Chris says as he walked closer to Leon, he was taller and bigger then Leon, but you didn’t know what Leon was capable of and you didn’t want to find out. Leon let out a humorless laugh before he looked up at the older male, the look on his face was deranged and psychotic. “you really think I’m going to let you take her from me.” Leon says before pulling out a knife from his back pocket.
“CLAIRE GO NOW!!.” Chris yelled, she didn’t need to be told twice, she turned on the car and stepped on the gas and you guys went flying down the long dirt road, worry filled your body as you could see Chris and Leon fighting in the rearview mirror. “He will be okay, I promise you.” Jill tried to reassure you as she rubbed your shoulder, you didn’t want Chris to get hurt because of you he was just trying to save and protect you. You nodded your head trying to believe her words but in the back of your mind you could help but feel dread.
*4 Hours Later*
You girls were in a random hotel, Claire thought it would be best to hide out until they heard some news from the boys, you had showered and changed into some spare clothes that Claire had, while you were in the shower you finally got the ‘wedding ring’ Leon had forcibly put on your finger off, there was a little blood but nothing a band aid can’t fix.
Stepping out of the bathroom you saw Jill hang up her phone, Claire was watching TV while sitting on the end of the bed and you could see Ada was petting Oero who was peacefully sleeping on her lap. “That was Chris, Leon’s been arrested, and your dad is on his way to pick you up.” Jill says and for the first time in what felt like forever you felt relief wash over you, you tried to not cry again by taking some deep breaths but there was a massive smile on your face, you were finally going home.
Your father and the boys had turned up a couple hours later, there were more tears as your father embraced you and said you were never leaving his sight again, at this point you wouldn’t really mind that, you thanked all of your friends and gave them each a meaningful hug and promised to get a new cell phone and number so you could continue to talk on the group chat.
You made plans that you were going to move back in with your father just until your University year was over and maybe do some traveling with the girls, get out of raccoon city for a little bit and go and live your life, Knowing that Leon was now in the custody of the police and you would never see him again….
Y/n’s Epilogue.
It has been 2 years since the Ghostface murders and the incident with Leon, Y/n had been living her life to the fullest, she went traveling with the Jill, Ada and Claire all over the world, she had even dated a few people but nothing too serious, she had been going to therapy regularly to help with the nightmares and trauma she had faced with everything and slowly she was healing slowly but surely, and she was even dating somebody new but this person was a little more closer to home.
“and how are my two favourite girls this morning.” Chris says as he walks into the kitchen in just his boxers, Oero gave him a happy meow and rubbed her face on his arms while purring, she had really taken a liking to Chris and like to knead his chest or bicep. “Such a sweetheart.” You say biting back a smile as Chris wraps his arms around your waist and placing a soft kiss on your bare shoulder as you were wearing only one of his shirts and some shorts underneath.
“Only for you two.” Chris says making you playfully roll your eyes as you flipped a piece of bacon in the fry pan that was placed on the stove. “Let me.” Chris says before he picks you up with ease and places you on the counter and takes the tongs from your hand.
“please don’t burn it like last time.” You say with a playful tease and he just rolls his eyes pretending to be annoyed, never in your wildest dreams did you ever think you would be this happy after everything, but even Tho you might go though shit in life it does get better if you just give it time, you will be happy…
Leon’s Epilogue.
An older doctor walked into the sterile hospital room that was covered in drawings of a woman, somewhere drawing in pen or pencil while other drawings were done in blood, a young man laid on the bed staring up at the roof, his blue eyes were dull and lifeless as if all the life had been sucked out of them, there where bandages on his arms from either him attacking other doctors or harming himself, His name was Leon Kennedy.
His reason for being at Raccoon city asylum for the criminally insane was because he murdered men for the woman he loved. Y/n was her name, she was the most beautiful woman Leon had ever laid his eyes on, they had grown up together and Leon swore he would always protect her and love her, but after a tragic accident that left Leon all alone, he started to develop an unhealthy obsession with Y/n, this would end with deadly consequences.
“Good Morning Leon.” The doctor says as he closed the door behind him, he was constantly under the supervision of the doctors here. Leon didn’t even look at the doctor just constantly looking at the roof as if his thoughts were 1000’s of miles away. “Leon I want you to tell me about y/n.” the doctor said, and this caused a small reaction on the young man’s face, a smile on his lips as he thought of you, your smile, your laugh, the sound of your voice when you said his name. “She is the love of my life.” Leon says with a lovesick look in his eyes.
“She must be an amazing woman.” The doctor says happy he is finally having a conversation with the young man; Leon turns his head and looks at the door. “she is and I plan on making her mine once again.” Leon says as a deranged smile came onto his face, as he looked at the drawings on the wall. “I will have her again.” Leon laughs delusionally as the doctor backed out of the door and closed the door sealing it shut before letting out a sigh.
This man’s mind is broken and is beyond saving….
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©Ghosty-writes-23, 2024. all rights reserved. !I DO NOT! consent to translations or replications or reproduction of my work on any other social media platforms and or make AI Bots without my explict consent and permission.
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starrrcane · 15 days ago
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The Underworld Beneath Piltover chapter two: Unspoken Bonds
sevika x reader
Takes place in pre-season one
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summary: After a couple of weeks of working with silcos men, you’re tired, one specific night you go home and hear them talking about you in the corridor. And sevika does not like the way they are talking about you.
warnings:drunk men being creepy towards you(don’t worry sevika is your knight in shining armor) and alcohol
notes: Please don’t forget this is taking place before season one‼️ maybe I could’ve split this into two separate chapters🤷🏽‍♀️ who knows, chapter one and chapter two were only posted so close to each other cause this has just been sitting in my notes. P.S this is supposed to be pre-season one!!
But if you want to be apart of my tag list just dm me or comment!
As the days passed, you fell into a rhythm of sorts in the Undercity. You worked tirelessly, patching up the injuries of Silco’s men—bruises, burns, cuts, and broken bones—but there was one person who never seemed to need your help: Sevika. She was always around, yet never injured. She stood on the periphery, watching as you worked with her men, but when it came to her own wounds, she refused your care. It became almost a ritual, this unspoken distance between you and her.
The others, however, were a different story. They’d come in, grinning with all their bravado, eager for your attention. You’d fix them up with quiet professionalism, trying to ignore the constant leers and comments, but it was hard. It was hard because their words, their glances, were a constant reminder that in the eyes of many in the Undercity, you were just another object to be used, a healer with nothing more to offer than your hands and your beauty. The men would speak freely, their voices loud and crude, commenting on how "good" you looked, how they'd love to see more of you, how soft your hands must be...
It made your skin crawl, but you never let it show. You didn’t have the luxury of reacting. You needed to do your job, needed to stay focused.
One night, after a particularly long shift, you found yourself at home, exhausted and alone. The distant noise of the Undercity hummed through your window, but you found no comfort in the quiet. Instead, you were stuck replaying the words of the men. The crude remarks, the way their eyes lingered far too long.
It wasn’t until later that night, when you heard shouting from down the hall, that you realized the bar—the Last Drop—was packed with Silco’s crew. They’d been celebrating some small victory, and the noise spilled out into the hall like a river of chaos. But then, you caught the unmistakable sound of Sevika’s voice rising above the others. It was sharp, commanding—louder than you’d ever heard her before.
“Knock it off," she snapped, the tension in her voice unmistakable. "You think she’s just here for your damn amusement? She’s here to help, not for you to ogle. Keep your mouths shut."
It was the first time you had ever heard Sevika lose her composure. Her voice, usually cold and unflappable, trembled with an anger that was both surprising and—if you were honest—comforting. For the first time, you realized something: Sevika wasn’t indifferent to you. She just... didn’t know how to show it. She was the wall that everyone leaned on in the Undercity, but she hadn’t built the capacity to rely on anyone else. Not until now.
The men muttered, some laughing nervously, others too drunk to care, but Sevika’s command had silenced them. You could hear her footsteps as she approached the door to the bar, her voice cutting through the remaining laughter. She muttered something else you couldn’t quite catch, and then there was silence.
The shift in the air lingered, and you couldn’t help but feel something stir in your chest. It was a strange mix of emotions—gratitude, confusion, and an undeniable pull toward the woman who had always kept her distance. Yet, in that moment, Sevika had done something rare: she'd protected you in her own way, not through words, but through her actions.
You didn’t know where this would go, but you were starting to realize that whatever it was, it wouldn’t be easy. And maybe... maybe that was what made it so compelling.
As the last of the laughter died down, the faint echoes of clinking glass and rowdy shouts drifting off into the night, you stepped into the corridor, your fingers still numb from the long hours spent tending to the wounded. The noise from the Last Drop had only gotten louder, but the thudding of your heartbeat was what kept your thoughts focused. You had barely processed what had just happened when the sound of footsteps from further down the hall drew your attention.
Sevika was alone, standing still at the end of the corridor, her eyes narrowed in your direction. There was no one else with her now—no men, no rowdy backup. Just her. The tension between you seemed to hang heavier in the air than before, the weight of her intervention earlier not fully sinking in until now. Her usually impassive gaze softened, the fierceness that had commanded the room earlier replaced by something unreadable.
You stood there for a moment, unsure whether to stay where you were or to approach her. The quiet seemed to wrap itself around you both, heavy with unspoken words. Finally, you stepped forward, a quiet sigh escaping your lips as you pulled your door open.
“Sevika,” you began, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I just… wanted to say thank you.”
Her gaze flickered to you, and then she looked away, as though suddenly uncomfortable under your attention.
“It’s whatever,” she muttered, her voice rougher than usual. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.” She shifted on her feet, clearly wanting to brush off the moment. But there was an edge to her words—something that betrayed the mask she tried to wear. "I’m not doing it for you."
You didn’t know whether to believe her or not, but you nodded, taking her words at face value. She didn’t seem like the type to wear a facade for long, and even though she was trying to make light of it, the way she'd stood up for you—no one else had ever done that. Not here.
“Well, thanks anyway,” you said, the warmth of the words surprising even you. “I appreciate it.”
Her shoulders stiffened for a moment, and she gave a short nod before turning away. Her retreating footsteps echoed down the hall, but the sting of the silence seemed to carry her presence with you still.
The next day at work, it felt like things had shifted in a way you couldn’t fully understand. The usual crude remarks from the others—loud and persistent as ever—seemed to bounce off you in a way they hadn’t before. And though Sevika remained as stoic as ever, you noticed a few lingering glances. One of those, when your paths crossed near the supply room, made your heart skip a beat.
You’d brought something with you that day. A bottle you’d managed to find tucked away in a dim corner of the bar. Old Deloux scotch—an obscure but highly sought-after bottle that everyone in the Undercity had heard about but few had actually seen. You knew it was a rare treat, and you’d caught Sevika eyeing it in the past, her face betraying the barest trace of longing when she mentioned it.
You slid the bottle across the counter toward her when she was in the middle of patching up a man with a nasty burn.
“Here,” you said, offering the bottle like an unspoken truce. “For you. I know you’ve been wanting to try this.”
Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t hesitate to take it, her fingers brushing yours just long enough for you to notice how unexpectedly warm they felt. She glanced at the label, her lips curling into something of an appreciative smirk.
“Where’d you get this?” Sevika’s voice was low, curious, the edges of her usual tough exterior softening.
You leaned back, crossing your arms and giving her a sly smile. “Well, being from Piltover has its advantages,” you said, leaning in just enough for the words to sink in.
She chuckled—a low, almost begrudging sound that was as rare as it was unexpected. “Always full of surprises, aren’t you?” she muttered, but there was something almost... grateful in her tone.
“You owe me nothing,” you said, your words laced with a quiet challenge. “But I figured you could use a bit of a break.”
Her gaze lingered on you for a moment longer than necessary, and then, with a nod, she uncorked the bottle. "Don’t expect me to share," she said, but the playful glint in her eyes made it clear she wasn’t as serious as her words suggested.
For a moment, you could almost forget the tension, the lines between you, the things left unsaid. For just a moment, it felt like a step toward something uncharted, something unspoken, something rare.
And maybe, just maybe, it would be worth exploring—whatever it was.
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itwasntimethatdidit40 · 2 months ago
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It feels like hope.
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Pairing: Hot Priest!Joel Miller x f!reader, no outbreak
Words count: 5700
Rating: Strictly +18, MINORS DON’T INTERACT
Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, priest kink, catholic guilt, religious kink, smut, unprotected p in v (use protections IRL!), reader has breasts and vagina and hair that can be pulled and wears a shirt and a skirt, apart from that no other description is given, age is not mentioned but they’re both grown up adults and reader is only inexperienced because she grew up in a very catholic family, fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), sex in a rectory, hair pulling, blasphemy all over the place 💀, pussy pronouns she/her, drinking, two hits on nipples, improper use of liturgical objects, cream pie, pet names (angel, baby), reader calls him "Father" during sex, mention of hell, mention of porn videos, mention of masturbation, improper use of prayers, God named in vain, another thing that I won’t spoil... listen, this thing is filthy, probably the filthiest more immoral thing I've ever wrote, ok? If you think you can't handle it just scroll down to another story.
This is a revised version of something I had already posted and then deleted because I personally didn't like it.
It took me months to come to an end with it, I don’t know why, I’ve changed a lot of things, I’ve changed the pov, I’ve changed dynamics etc… I really really hope you will enjoy it and please be gentle with me, I really tried hard even if you would think it’s no good.
English is not my first language and I have no beta so any mistake is all my fault, I’m sorry.
Title is a Fleabag quote, specifically from our beloved hot priest “when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope”
Thanks to everyone who has shown interest in this story, thanks to those who were there from the beginning (you know who you are and I love you) and thanks to anyone who will read 🩷
(Just added a brief note at the end 😉)
Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️
It all started on a Sunday. 
You came to your neighborhood church expecting a nice function and you exited knowing you were doomed. 
That Sunday you met the new parish priest.
From the first moment you felt like something in you was compromised. 
You couldn't even explain it to yourself and you had never felt like this, it was something so unfamiliar. 
A need you’ve never felt before.
Your eyes glued to his holy form, adoring his raven curly hair, his scruff, the curve of his neck, his strong nose, plump lips, broad shoulders, thick thighs, big hands.
Courteous and kind as he greeted parishioners leaving the church, he shook your hand and you felt a jolt.
You weren’t like this before, you did things to do good to others before. But now…
Volunteering for every event, clothing drive, bake sale, children's shows. You were always there for the ride. Making excuses to talk to him.
Wondering if he had any more freckles than the ones on his neck, how warm his skin would be, how manly and intoxicating his scent would be, what his kisses would taste like, what his fingers would have felt like inside your cunt, peeking at the outline of his cock under his black pants.
A perfect Christian girl who would have make your mother proud on the outside, a raging hell of arousal on the inside.
You couldn’t believe that he was him who had awakened this new person inside you, insanely hungry, wanting, needing to taste, lick, bite. 
His low gruff voice grueling from his chest echoed against your damp inner walls so much that you were almost afraid to get up after the mass and see a stain where you were seated.
It was more and more difficult every time to fight your urge, stay on the tracks of life that you were taught to live, no sex before marriage, no masturbation because it’s a sin, no impure thoughts because you were a good girl.
Yet now you could hear them, all those voices crowding your head, pushing you towards something you had been taught was wrong.
Entering the church you were trembling, guilt pulsing in your gut.
Everything was quiet and serene, your eyes wandered on the frescoed walls, the organ, the large altar and the wooden benches neatly lined up in rows in the central nave, your steps sounded uncertain and timid on the marble floor.
You entered the confessional feeling your heart beating wildly in your chest, palms sweating and your mouth dry.
You could hear his breathing through the grate.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned” 
The following silence weighed like never before.
“Open your heart to the Lord so He can forgive your sins”
And you had confessed. 
The words slipped from your mouth like pearls from a broken necklace, finally rolling free between your lips revealing your every sordid thought.
The girl shaped by catholic parents to be a modest virgin, mother and maid, perfect smile and delicate manners was in reality a shameful bundle of filth.
You were a sinner.
A sinner eaten out from dirty thoughts.
You told him how you couldn't stop thinking about him, how you had questioned your feelings and who you were as a person, how you hadn't spent a night without touching yourself thinking about him in many months.
You told him about your desire to kiss him and more. So much more. Everything.
Every single time you lowered your hand in your panties, every single time you squeezed your breasts, driven by instinct and desire, every single time you thought of him as Joel. Just Joel, a man.
You just wanted to let go of the weight on your chest, coming clean. If you said it all out loud you would have realized how crazy it was.
You heard the door snapping, a few heavy steps close to where you were seated, the door opening to your side.  
Suddenly he was there, standing in front of you.
He said nothing, only grabbed your arm, dragging you to the rectory.
Dust in the air danced beneath the soft light that came in from two small windows high up.
There wasn't much in the room, a cupboard where liturgical objects were kept, a table, a wardrobe where the clothes for the service were hung.
Nobody was there except the two of you, you could hear the rumble of his breathing and your heart drumming behind your rib cage.
He was staring at you. 
Your mouth sealed, a lump in your stomach.
You thought about the day he tried to teach you how to play guitar.
You were here, together, helping with the Christmas party. He was sitting strumming when you walked in, you tried not to surprise him from behind by pretending to cough and he turned to you. He didn’t stop playing as he greeted you, you told him “I didn’t know you played” and he invited you to try. As you sat down your legs were shaking, he gave you the guitar and you just stared at it, fingers uncertain and mind empty. 
“It’s not that hard” he told you and he leaned over you taking one of your hands in his and placing it on the neck of the guitar, moving your fingers over the strings “like this. Now play”
You strummed on the guitar and an unpleasant sound came out, you both laughed softly at your clumsiness and a flood of pleasure slicked your panties.
His breath on you was like a caress, you felt the minty scent grazing at your nostrils.
For a moment, just for a moment you thought, “I could turn around right now and kiss him. A few inches and my lips would be on his.”
Your desire flowed before your eyes, leaving you with nothing else to look at.
“But I can’t. I can’t.” 
You've tried to swat away that sinful thought with another strum on the guitar but nothing disappeared, instead it burned in your core even strongly than before.
You thought about that day when the rain caught you on your way to set up the bake sale, how you walked into the rectory soaked from head to toe, how he looked at your shirt stuck to your skin that left little to the imagination, how you instinctively covered yourself when you just wanted to let your arms hang at your sides and let him look at you. You saw a reaction in his eyes as he mumbled that he was going to get you a towel, just a moment before he regained his composure, and it was enough. You knew that he was not indifferent to you. That night you touched yourself imagining what it would be like if he took your shirt off, if he placed his lips on your neck, his tongue on your breast, his cock inside you.
You started to navigate on porn sites daily, out of curiosity first and then because you needed to see, you needed to imagine, you needed to visualize something so unfamiliar and strange to you. 
You were ashamed, but at the same time you couldn't help it, it was the only resource you could think of looking for and it was there, on your phone, private, no one would have known. You didn't even imagine you would find so many, a whole catalog of big dicks, huge tits, positions that your brain couldn't conceive.
Seeing those women pleasuring themselves scared you but at the same time attracted you, you wanted to be like them, you wanted to reach that pleasure, you wanted to try their way of using their hands, you wanted to refine your clumsy way of reaching that heat between your legs.
You sinked into it.
If your parents had known, if your community had known, you would have been branded an unworthy woman, a pervert, a slut.
But your parents were far away now, your whole life was somewhere else and you were proud to have freed yourself from the golden cage they had locked you in. You were an adult now, it was the moment to choose for yourself. If they hadn’t always denied you any other vision of the world, if they hadn’t forbidden you to have the experiences that everyone has in their youth, maybe it wouldn’t have happened this way.
His mouth was a thin line, tensed, you looked into his eyes and you saw nothing than dark.
So much different from the gentle detachment he had always shown to everyone, his look was a mixture of concern, agitation, maybe a hint of fear, but most of all - to your great surprise - sexual arousal.
You could see him cracking behind those eyes, you could feel his mind filling with all sorts of questions.
His voice was barely a whisper but sharp as a blade when he finally spoke “Are you even honest with that ‘I am a good christian’ thing? Say the truth”
You hesitated, the uneasiest bitter taste in your mouth.
“I-” your throat felt like atrophied “yes” you tried to say.
“No, you’re not. The least you could do is being fucking honest with Him” he raised his finger pointing it at the ceiling.
You’ve never heard him cursing before.
You looked down feeling the weight of your stomach turn to lead and then concrete and if you thought you were free now you felt even more guilty. 
You said the only thing your brain could think of at that moment and you knew what you were asking for, you knew what it would do to him and you knew that in this way you would drag him down with you. And yet you did it anyway, because desire was stronger than anything, than faith, than lies, than truth.
“I need-I need to repent. Teach me” you pleaded “teach me how to be good”
Something lit up in his gaze, like a spark of hell, a glow of lust.
He turned around and you hungrily followed his every move.
His hands moving expertly, the cupboard opening, him taking out the mass wine and pouring it into a chalice.
You saw him down the entire glass, without hesitation, without a shred of tremor.
You felt like you were watching a hurricane approaching, just waiting for the wind to suck you in without being able to do anything else.
You wanted it. You wanted it to sweep you away, to make you someone else, braver, indomitable, someone who wasn’t afraid to say what she wanted because of a belief that had been instilled in her, someone who was simply herself. 
We are all born with guilt, you told yourself. I am tired, tired of dealing with mine so much.
You just wanted to feel alive, to feel something authentic and fierce, no half measures. 
You wanted to be desired in a way that felt relentless and desperate, like air that is necessary to keep humans alive, something unique and undeniable.
Could Joel read it in your eyes? He was so good at reading people, you could tell it right away. 
He had guessed a lot about you, he had noticed how coffee was a weakness of yours - and his - and he offered you a cup first thing in every meeting.
He had noticed how nervous Danny, a parishioner who liked to play the fool with any woman present, most often in front of his wife, got you and made sure to never leave you alone with him.
He had noticed how much you enjoyed sewing and had assigned you the costumes for the play and praised your work. 
And he did the same with the guitar that day when he saw how enthusiast and curious you were about it. He didn't say it openly, but his gestures spoke for him.
He came closer to you again, bending the chalice to your mouth and said “drink”. Sharp, cold, an order.
At that point you didn’t care it was something you were not supposed to do, forbidden, maybe unholy even, you just drank. 
You were dealing with a part of yourself that always existed but you had put that in a box.
Joel looked into your eyes sternly and said: “Show me the good Christian that you think you are. Pray.”
“What?”
“Pray. Right now” 
“What prayer?” You asked, confused.
“You're not starting off well, you should know that.” He smirked, caught you in fail.
“Act of contrition” you whispered and he nodded “yes. That’s right.”
He was just inches away from you, his crucifix hanging between your bodies, grazing at your stomach. 
You began to recite in a low voice, stumbling over your words, your brain couldn’t think straight:
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest… all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offended Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving all my love.”
You said it dozen of times before and yet it seemed totally different in that moment. 
Joel took off his rosary, letting it dangle from his hand and swing across your chest. Beads brushed against the cotton bra you wore under your blouse, making your nipples harden, you could feel them pushing against the fabric.
“Go on”
“I- I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen”
“Take off your shirt,” he told you in a whisper.
Something shifted inside him “and your bra”
His voice was no longer the same, it came from deep within him, frighteningly authoritarian but to you it seemed like a magic instrument that was hypnotizing you.
You did what he told you. 
You were half naked in front of a man for the first time. It could have happened before, much before, but of course you couldn’t because you never got married. No one was supposed to see your body except the man you were going to take to the altar. That’s what they taught you.
Joel looked at you, entranced, almost in disbelief. You wondered how long it had been since he’d seen someone else’s naked body, what effect it had on him. 
You were more alike than you seemed, both of you denied something because of religion. 
You were both more needy and frustrated than you were allowed to admit. Tension hung in the air like a fog that clouded both of your gazes.
Every time you had talked to him you had noticed the way he looked at you but you thought it was all in your head, like you were a poor naive girl who was building castles in the air, but now you knew that wasn't the case.
It was another thing you shouldn’t have done but you prayed deep down that he wouldn’t decide to stop.
He raised his arm, clutching his rosary. You felt a slash through the air and then a sharp smack on your nipple.
You looked down shocked as the pain quickly turned into a dull pleasure rising from the pit of your tummy, to fade more and more, becoming a tingling sensation.
You liked it.
You wanted more.
He did the same at your other breast and all the breath you had left in your body had slipped past your lips in a lustful sob.
He took one of your nipples between his fingers, twisting and pinching it and you couldn’t help but moan. A sound you never made for no one and you made it first for a priest.
His body pushed you against the wall, his breath on your neck, his fingers didn't stop torturing your nipple. Everything you saw was red. Red like the passion you had never felt before, red like the blood that pulsed in your veins, red like sin.
“Kneel” he said firmly.
You were equal parts scared of making a fool of yourself and eager to try.
You knelt down, feeling the cold of the floor touch your shins. 
His eyes were as uncertain as yours, it was new territory for both of you but you saw a flame burning in him and you felt it inside you. 
His face was serious, tense, as if he was ashamed of what he was doing but couldn't contain. 
He was punishing you and punishing himself at the same time.
You weren’t afraid though, you were ready to face what was eating you up and you trusted Joel for some reason. You could see in him that he wouldn’t hurt you. At least not more than you wanted.
Your tentative fingers undid his pants, letting them sag around his ankles. A pronounced erection protruded from his boxers as his eyes almost begged you, they weren’t cruel and ruthless eyes, but rather needy and guilty.
You moved your hand closer to his crotch, hesitating for a moment before placing it there, testing the sensation, opening your fingers around it to realize how thick it was. You could feel the heat through the fabric. You caressed it, feeling the tremor that shook Joel's body. Your eyes couldn't tear themselves away, it was the first time you had seen one in person, you were amazed and attracted. You continued to caress him until you heard a grunt leave Joel’s lips and a stain wet the front of his boxers. You were struck by how much he was growing under your hand and the smell, like musk, pungent but not unpleasant.
You remembered the videos you had seen, how women did it, looking into the men's eyes lustfully, with a confidence and naturalness you had never acquired. You wanted to be like them, but you were afraid of being ridiculous or grotesque.
You slowly pulled down his boxers, gasping at the sight of his cock springing free. 
Joel had his eyes fixed on you, they were encouraging somehow, he made you feel safe but the trembling of your fingers did not stop. You took his shaft in your hand again and were surprised at how soft his skin was there, velvety. You watched that thin layer of skin retract as you moved your hand up and down like you had seen in the videos, it felt incredible. It was heavy, hot and throbbing. It was uncut. His big balls hanging right under. You ran your thumb over the tip, collecting the pre-cum that was leaking, spreading it around.
Joel was quiet, he let you do it.
He was touch starving, just like you.
You lowered your head and licked him, just with the tip of your tongue. A timid lick, like a kitten.
His taste, matching the musky scent you could smell, invaded your mouth in an instant. You had never tasted anything like it. You braced yourself, while Joel waited, and licked once more, this time starting at the base and working your way up.
Joel groaned.
You pulled away, looking into his eyes, he brought a hand to your cheek and then to your chin and took it in his palm. 
“You are so beautiful” he whispered.
And you felt beautiful, you felt like someone was really seeing you for the first time. And you loved that that someone was him.
You took a deep breath and lowered your head onto his cock, you knew you couldn't fit it all in your mouth, but you wanted to take as much as you could.
“Don’t force yourself” Joel murmured as your lips touched his skin, causing another whine.
“I want to do it” you replied resolutely, you were loving hearing him whimper beneath you.
His length slid across your tongue, wet and salty, your lips closing around it.
You closed your eyes and focused on that feeling, just holding it there, nestled inside.
“Suck it,” Joel commanded gently, bringing a hand into your hair and twining his fingers there.
You were unsure how to do it, you tried to suck it in as if you were using a large straw, with all the breath you had.
Joel flinched, almost losing his balance “Easy, baby” he muttered
You pulled away again, eyes widened “oh my god, I’m sorry” almost afraid of having hurt him but he immediately reassured you "no it's okay, just... go slower, go slower if you don't want me to come right away”
“Uh- okay” responding timidly to the smile that was spreading across his face.
You began to suck again more calmly, holding the base tightly with your hand, feeling it pulsate between your fingers and on your tongue.
It was an addictive sensation, spreading through your synapses like a drug.
Obviously you had never tried any drugs, but you imagined that the sensation might be similar to something like that.
Joel still held your head, his grip tightening as you continued, you could feel his body tense and respond, and you liked it. You liked it more than you ever liked putting on your Sunday best and going to say prayers with your parents like you always had.
There was actually a prayer that was ringing in your head and it was Joel's, who softly repeated "just like that, you're being so good to me”
It was exhilarating.
You felt like you had a true gift, for once in your life.
An obscene gift, but still.
You had the courage to run from your mom and dad and then at what felt like a minute later you found yourself there, naked from waist up, on your knees, sucking a priest cock.
You’ve never felt more alive.
Deep down you were exactly that person there, not a whore like everyone you knew would say. Just a woman, a woman who wanted what other women wanted. Sex, pleasure, being important to someone or just not being condemned to do what others wanted for you.
You continued to suck as Joel's breathing became heavier and more labored.
At that point he was just uttering disconnected phrases like “oh my God” and “Yes, go on”, his voice hoarse and scratchy.
Suddenly he started shaking violently, almost falling, as something warm and sticky hit your throat. You knew what it was and you were eager to swallow, as you had seen done in so many videos.
A little of it slipped from your lips, down your chin, onto your neck.
Joel's hand was still in your hair, it almost hurt but it was a delicious pain that you were enduring, a small punishment for the rush of adrenaline and excitement that was coursing through you.
You kept holding his cock in your mouth until you felt it relax.
“Get up,” Joel said gently, still out of breath, as he was fixing his boxers and pants.
Your knees almost gave out, you leaned against the wall feeling wetness on your panties.
Joel came closer to you, placing a hand on your cheek, pulling you into a deep kiss that left you stunned for a second and then you were more than happy to reciprocate. His tongue in your mouth explored feverishly, you wondered if he could taste himself from your lips.
He pulled out saying “I’ve never done anything like this before” and you replied “me neither.” 
And then he was on your lips again, nibbling at your lower one, placing his hand on your thigh, raising it under your skirt, up to your drenched panties, grazing them with his fingers.
You squirmed, moaning a “yes, please” from down your throat, a tingle spreading on your outer lips, in your tummy, up to your chest.
He put his hand inside your panties, brushing your skin.
“What should I do with you?” He asked, in an almost desperate tone, as if he knew he couldn't stop and was asking permission not to.
“Make me come” you pleaded “Please.”
He sighed, pulling your panties aside and sliding his index and middle fingers between your folds, gathering your wetness up to your clit, starting circling it as you writhed. 
It was different than when you did it yourself, his fingers bigger and stronger, his touch a little clumsy but still effective and intoxicating.
His mouth landed on your neck, stifling a moan, sucking a hickey where it joined your shoulders, nibbling hungrily at your skin.
“Have you ever done this before?” 
“Just…me” 
He smirked “have you ever put your fingers inside you?” 
“I- yes.” there were no point on beating around the bush, you told him that you touched yourself thinking about him. You were already deep down into that dizzy. 
“Put your fingers in me” you added immediately “I want to feel them, please Joel, I want to know what they can do to me” 
“You sure?” 
“Yes, yes.” You breathed.
He prodded at your entrance,  just a little bit, making you whine just with his fingers tip.
The rosary lay abandoned on the floor, you could see it out of the corner of your eye and you didn't care about that eyewitness symbol of what was happening between you two.
You would have liked him to put it around your neck while he fucked you, fully participating in that sinful act. 
You were surprised yourself at what you were thinking but somehow it made you even more eager.
You felt two of his fingers sink inside you, filling that void that you had never been able to fill enough on your own, stretching you. 
It hurts a little at first because they were bigger than yours, but then it was more heavenly than anything else. If you were made for anything, it was to be there in that moment.
Joel looked ecstatic “God, she’s so… wet” he whispered “and warm” His face was the representation of pleasure, lips slightly parted, his eyes wide, his pupils dilated, his heavy breathing blowing on your neck.
He began to move his fingers inside you rhythmically, each thrust making you shake and sob, a litany of “yes” coming out strangled from your mouth.
He went slowly, taking his time, as if he was savoring every second of your pussy tightening around his fingers.
He placed his other hand on your breast again, cupping and squeezing and then twisting your nipple. Big hand full of your tit.
It was beautiful. You didn’t know how or why people could deny themselves that, but you certainly wouldn’t do it again, not after having Joel inside you. He curled his fingers, looking for the right way to make you feel the pleasure you wanted, the one you kept asking for.
“You like that, baby?” He asked with an hopeful tone
“It feels so good, so good” you told him, clinging to his neck, digging your nails into his soft skin as you felt like you were losing your mind. You didn't care about losing it, your mind had ruled your life for so, so long.
“Please don’t stop” you murmured, tightening your other hand on his wrist, guiding him “don't stop”
You felt your essence slowly leaking out of you, spreading over Joel's fingers and your outer lips, you had never been so soaked, never so much as under Joel's touch.
Your eyes suddenly fixed on that little piece of white cloth that was around his neck, that little piece that made all the difference in the world and made what you were doing terribly wrong in the eyes of others and God and Joel kissed you again like a man deprived and starved, his lips trembling and dramatic, asking silently for more and more, like they were drinking from yours.
He was all over you, like a sailor through a  violent storm, he clung to whatever he could, as if it were a matter of life and death. 
Tasting him like this, the smell of his skin, his warmth, his clerical clothes rubbing against your half-naked body, made your head spin.
You moved your hand onto his collar, grasping it with your fingers, pulling it, until it came undone, you squeezed it as you came copiously, repeating Joel's name and God's, cutting off your moans, abandoning your head on Joel's shoulder.
It was all too much and yet not enough, you wished it would never end. Joel held you tight, one hand moving behind your back, as his fingers continued to sink into you. The blinding pleasure that had invaded every fiber of your body was raging like hell’s flames inside you, like a sinful but also purifying fire, wrong and right, heavenly and hellish.
And then it slowly faded, giving way to a sense of satisfaction that had never belonged to you.
You could feel his erection pressing against your thigh, hard and demanding again.
Joel grunted, pulling his fingers out of you, taking them to his lips, gathering your juices with his tongue.
“I want… I want your cock, Father” you whispered, at that point you felt greedy, delirious, drunk on sex.
His eyes widened, being called “Father” was making him even more aroused and dizzy.
You grabbed his balls from above his pants, holding your hand tightly on them “please, Joel”.
If you were going to Hell for this, you might as well go all the way.
Joel pushed you against the table on the other side of the room, making you sit on it, unzipped his pants again, pulling out his cock without hesitation, as if he had finally accepted his fate.
His fingers were big but his cock… you wondered how it would all fit inside you.
“I’ll go slowly” Joel reassured you “It will fit” he said, brushing your folds with the tip, aligning his cock with your entrance, as if he had guessed your thoughts. His eyes were blacker than ever as he prodded his shaft past through your lips.
It felt overwhelming, so big and pulsing, it hurt but you almost immediately felt a fullness that you had never felt and a sense of belonging, your pussy opened like a bud, widening and molding for him.
If you were made for anything, it was to be there in that moment.
“She’s tight, so damn tight” Joel gawked “fuck” 
You whimpered, looking at his face, so serious, pleasure written all over it and you felt like it was right, it had to be right if it was that good.
“Make me yours, Father, make me good” you pleaded. 
Joel growled as he slid in and out of you, slamming against your walls, your pussy making obscene squelching sounds every time he moved, dripping all over his cock and the table.
It didn’t even seem embarrassing to you to be so inexperienced, you both were. You didn’t know if Joel had had sex before but you guessed he hadn’t had it in a long time anyway. 
You didn't know if it was the way it was supposed to be but you felt like it was natural, not like in the videos you'd seen which were probably mostly choreographed to please the eye.
It was sex. Pure and simple. Urgent, hungry, even uncontrolled.
And the way your body reacted, melting like wax under Joel's hands, arching into his touch, bending to his will, and seeking all the friction you could get, told you that this was the right way for you.
“See?” Joel mumbled “You’re taking me so well, baby, a perfect angel for me”
You twisted your legs behind his back, pushing him against you as much as you could, kissing the exposed skin on his neck. It drove you crazy that he was still dressed, you wanted to rip off his shirt and run your hands down on him, feel his warm skin on yours so you did it. You placed your hands on both sides and you just popped every button, revealing his broad chest, feeding your eyes with every single detail and your fingers with every shape and curve.
“Never had a cock inside before but that pussy is made for mine, I swear to God she is” he started desperately rutting into you, deeper strokes every time, taking God’s name in vain, murmuring some prayers while he pounded into you. You could feel his big vein brushing at your walls, his big mushroom hammering your cervix, the most intense rapture you’ve ever felt.
He pulled at your hair, forcing you to look him in the eye, murmuring “that’s what you wanted, huh? Dragging me to hell with you?”
Your eyes filled with tears at the thought. It was true, somehow you corrupted him, but you were willing to face that just to feel something so strong. You weren’t sure about him though.
But again, he was there, right there with you, with his cock inside your cunt and you didn’t force any of it, he could say no, he could stop, but he choose the sin. Now blaming you wasn’t so saintly nor kind, but you understood why he did that. He needed to blame someone other than himself, and you were there, open arm taking the weight for him.
Your ass slid back and forth on the wood of the table with each thrust, one of his hands was on your nipple again while the other held you behind your back. He then moved to your clit, applying pressure on it, circling it with two fingers.
You looked down only to see his cock sinking between your lips, his balls bouncing and the bush of hair that adorned his groin glistening with your juices.
You could smell the sex in the air, your mingling scents becoming one, your pleasure merging and becoming one as he shot huge spurts of cum into you.
He muttered a prayer, asking God for forgiveness, his voice exhausted, hoarse, broken by orgasm.
And then you woke up.
Your room was quiet, the crucifix that your mom gave you hanging on the wall behind your bed.
It took a few seconds for your sleepy, blurry gaze to settle on it, you were sweaty and shocked.
You closed your eyes, shutting them and cursing under your breath. 
You unrolled your body from the sheets and then stood up and picked up the crucifix. Your days as a good, God-fearing girl were over.
A/n: if you don't know what is dream and what is reality in the story at this point, that's what I wanted, I hope it's not too confusing but I wanted to try something new. I hope you liked it and thanks for your time 🩷
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reachartwork · 4 months ago
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the process
a lot of people like to ask me about my process and how ai can be "creative" because they're under the impression that it's just kind of a big slot machine. you pull a lever and art uncontrollably comes out. well, let me show you my process
this is going to be a long thread tagged with #long post, blacklist that if you want to skip it.
so how it starts like most art is that i have an idea. in this case, earlier i made a post about witch-knights "surfing" on swords, so i'm going to try and make that - a witch-knight flying through the air atop one of her swords.
it starts with this picture.
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i think this picture is dogshit so i discard basically all of it to try and find something closer to my original intent. there's a couple of uninteresting regenerations so it's clear i have to go back to the drawing board and teach the machine what it is i'm trying to do
let's start with a witch-knight on a broom. it's definitely not great but it gives us a better pose that i can work with.
i start by erasing the broom and replacing it with a skateboard - the machine understands skating better for what i need it to do.
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there's a ton of small, subtle errors in this image and it overall looks like dogshit but the most important part right now is blocking and the overall pose structure - i need her "surfing" a large, lengthwise object, in the sky. i start by erasing pieces of the skateboard
now we have a sword, which is good. but the sword itself looks... bad. i'll spare you the abortive attempts at selective regeneration of the sword and just show you what happened when i rolled it back a couple of times from this pose and let it regen entirely.
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again, tons of small little shitty errors, but this is something i can work with. i do another regen for a less shitty sword. her boob armor gets replaced with, like, generic scale mail.
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this image has a great sword and decent pose but like... everything else is kind of futzy and i dont like it. instead of trying to pick and choose i just throw it back into the oven for a second. much better! but now she's going to cut herself on the sword, oh no!
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again, i'll save you the agonizing thirty minutes of trying to get it to understand where the foot should go. unlike before i didn't really have a choice except to muscle through. there! now she's surfing safely :)
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so it's done, right? well, i mean, i could post this. and it would probably do okay. but *i'm* not satisfied with it. there's stiffness. dozens of minor errors. the eyes look weird when you zoom in. let's start by fixing her hat, and then maybe her hands?
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but she's missing fingers on her left hand so let's go ahead and fix that too. and i don't really like the tip of her sword and the ocean looks really flat and boring. so, VERY CAREFULLY, i have to etch out the parts of the sword and her body i have to keep, and also write an entirely new prompt to tell it "i want an ocean w/ rolling waves please :)"
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this is better but not great. i try again - serendipitously, it makes this really cool variant with a shadow over the water, but i know working with that will take more wrangling so i'm considering it an evolutionary dead end and discarding it for now.
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i proceed to spend 30 minutes trying to make the ocean look better but it's really not working imo. i'm gonna go back to the shadow version and see how that works
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i'll spare you the other 8 minutes - i'm satisfied with the following picture. the sword isn't *perfectly* straight, her eyes aren't perfectly textured, the scale mail is... weird, in texture, but anything else would be greasing the wheel and i think beyond the machine's ability to do fine detail.
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i've also attached the starting picture for comparison - it has better, "higher quality" clouds and ocean but i personally cared more about the pose and the sword surfing - the background is mostly tangential. could i get back ocean and clouds of that quality with another two hours of painstakingly cutting and re-generating bits of the background without destroying any of my existing work on the pose? probably. but i don't want to.
total time spent on this piece from start to finish was one hour and twenty one minutes. and now you know!
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simp-ly-writes · 4 months ago
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The Bodyguard
─────── · · THE GENTLEMEN (2024)
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PAIRING: Bodyguard!Edward "Eddie" Horniman x Fem!Reader
─ · · SUMMARY: Your parents decide with your recent party-heavy behaviour that you are in need of an adult babysitter- or as they call it a bodyguard.
─ · · WARNINGS: contract relationship, child neglect, anxiety attacks, overall angst with fluff
─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 2,112
─ · · A/N: Find it funny how many posts I see complain about "small fandoms" then you have The Gentlemen (2024). I need more people to talk to about this show...
─────── · ·
Up until now, you were always by yourself. In school you struggled to make friends and the few that you still kept in contact with were set with quarterly interactions. The large house you resided in empty besides the few staff that maintained the estate- they were disgusted by the lifestyle you lived- or rather, how they thought you lived.
You got used to not having your parents home, on having no one to ask you how your day went, if you ate that night and what your plans were later that week. The statue collection soon became your greatest confidants, the gallery your absolute favourite room to take lunch in beside the garden when the weather was acceptable.
In all the assets you held, the clothes all still new with tags on in the closet, the endless rows of wine bottles in the basement that your teenage self drowned in and the hedge maze you lost yourself in even when knowing where every exit and secret nook and cranny of. It was plastic happiness, just shiny objects staring back at you and reflecting upon yourself.
You tried to loose yourself in the high life just as every other member of your family did. Sleeping with actors and musicians alike, forcing yourself into yoga classes with young rich wives that only used their manicured nails to pierce each others skin behind doors. It was when you were reaching your late twenties that your parents took notice of your failing public image as you stumbled out of cabs, got caught in multiple scandals only because you were affecting their businesses.
And thats how you found yourself no longer alone but with an adult babysitter, or how your parents described it- a bodyguard.
─────── · ·
"I am old enough to take care of myself, I hate no need for someone to follow me around-" you started to say, your nails digging into your palms as anger started to swell into your eyes in unshed tears of frustration. A younger version of yourself would have been jumping out of joy for having company- your mature self only realizing how much having someone with you would only be added weight.
"Well it is too late for your opinion, the contract has already been finalized and settled, now he is waiting for you by the car. Please, don't make a further embarrassment of the family name," your mother concluded, already turning away from you and walking down the overwhelmingly bare and white hallway. Her heels clacking to a still as you picked up your voice in retaliation.
"How am I much more of an embarrassment than your lack of care or Cousin Simon's multi-day ragers! What about father's multiple hook-ups, or Jacklyns-"
"ENOUGH! I am sick and tired of your incessant whining since you were a child- you are a spoiled little thing since you were born. I gave you everything you could have wanted: books, toys, clothes, sports, and yet you throw all of my hard work aside for what- your constant need for attention? Your new bodyguard will give you everything you ever wanted- be grateful for once in your life and go- now."
The tears now endlessly poured down your cheeks, your breathing rapid, in-takes frequent as you stumbled outside the office space. Your vision was blurry, hands shaking and make-up now a mess as you threw yourself into the car without a second thought.
A detailed handkerchief was soon presented in front of your face as your eyes narrowed in confusion. Turning your gaze to the side and up an attractive man stared back at you. Brown curls framed his eyes paired with slim black frames for glasses. His beard was freshly cut, stubble poking out across his cheeks and chin as he offered you a polite smile at the time you took to analyze him and the well-tailored suit that fitted his tall form.
Cheeks feeling warm, you pitifully chuckled to yourself and took the napkin, opening up your handbag to find a compact mirror as you readjusted yourself. Satisfied you thought of handing the piece of cloth back before decided otherwise, the man noticed your hesitating hand with a brief chuckle before responding, "I can take it back later, are you doing better now miss?"
Still struggling to find your voice to signal your shock, grief, and anger after the interaction with your mother- you forced a nod before looking out the window. Your shoulders only rising as anxiety coated every goosebump on your skin. The man opened and closed his mouth a few times, debating with himself to continue conversation before decided to continue the ride home in silence- much to your approval.
─────── · ·
A few weeks into having your bodyguard, who you found to be named Edward- Eddie he insisted you called him with how much time your spent alongside one another. You tried to forget he was there as you continued your schedule, taking breakfast in bed as he stood outside your door to take you down to the car.
You would then head to your morning yoga classes. He would stand near the door, your water bottle and bag in hand as multiple of the said-to-be-married women tried to coax him into their beds with fake eyelash flutters and tight-fitting clothes yet he would keep his gaze forward. Eyes only snapping to your own as he greeted you with a pleasant smile, asked you how your session went and provided you with the materials in hand before leading you out once more.
Next, a walk around downtown and a visit to the local galleries, two steps behind you he walks was, you could see his shadow overtaking your own on the floor as you talked with the curators- wondering if you could add to your parents (now practically your own) growing collection before heading back home for lunch among the paintings or flowers.
You would insist on Edward- Eddie, to sit across from you. A guilty part eating away at yourself for having someone to join your little glass prison as you offered food of your plate only to be denied. "I will take care of myself once knowing you are fully taken care of miss, now please enjoy your meal- act as if I am not here as you usually do."
When you first met him, you failed to realize how comforting his baritone voice sounded in your ears. How heavy he made each word feel as they draped a blanket of calmness of yourself in reassurance. Offering him a smile in silent thanks, he raised a brow in question to your reaction yet continued just as he asked- chipping away at your meal before turning in early for the day.
─────── · ·
He was protective, you noted to yourself- maybe even bridging on overprotective as his eyes followed your shining form in that dress across the bar top and towards the dance floor as you met up with nepo-babies and start-up engineers alike.
You danced in twirled, a smile fighting its way across Edwards face as he took in your radiant smile as you drifted in between the sea of sweaty bodies and pumping music. The strobe lights had him seeing double before clarity soon coated his vision alongside red as a man felt of your backside. He watched you politely smile, your shoulders crawling upwards, your spine twisting into itself as you tried to raise the mans touch to a more respectable level before looking for a way out once realizing he was not taking the hint.
Edward walked through the people as the crowd parted for him with his determined steps. His hand gripped the mans, his head flipping over to catch the glare in his stare levelling his own. "More along," Edward said in a firm tone leaving no room for question- or what you both thought. The man smirked up at your bodyguard, a laugh erupting in his throat as he leaved in closer a finger pressing at Edwards chest. "And who are you to tell me off, the girls single so you need back the fuck off man- I got to her first."
"And it seems even though you were first, you are the last person she wants to be with right now. I ask you again to leave or I will show you out, your choice," Edward replied. His head and tone dipping towards the shorted man as you looked in between the two. Not knowing weather to jump the man for touching you or to jump your bodyguard for the vein budging from his neck. Your stomach soon decided for you as you leaned into Edwards side, face pressing into his arm, "I want to go home now, I feel like shit."
"Alright miss," and with one last glare towards the man, he wrapped his jacket around yourself as you fell back into and out of your party lifestyle once realizing he was not going to leave your side and also realized just how much his gaze on you made you feel like a teenage girl once again.
Butterflies in your stomach, skin hot and eyes wide as you stared up at him in a drunken daze. You felt his hand on your cheeks as he inspected your face, catching on your nose as some residue still sat on its tip. Wiping it off with his thumb before calling up your driver. He sat with you the whole ride home as you snuggled into his side with your hazed babbles.
Once exiting the car, you swore to feel the need of puking- the next moment he was holding your hair back, rubbing your back as you emptied your stomach into the front bushes.
You don't know how you made it into your bed the next day, or slipped out of your heels and took your hair out of its style in your drunken state. Yet you celebrated yourself by taking a bath that morning before getting lost in the warm waters that soon turned into cold realization. You couldn't look at your bodyguard for the next week without doing your best to speedily walk away from him, or turn your head when he asked about your itinerary.
You hated how much you smiled when hearing his chuckle at your antics, reminding you it was all part of the job. And you equally hated the disappointment your heart felt when he mentioned your time together was a contracted one.
─────── · ·
You soon became obsessed with taking in every detail of this man. How after you asked where his glasses went on that first day had returned the next. How he fixed them every time you laughed at a snide comment he made, joining your commentary of the women at yoga that day.
You became fixated on how his suit would move with his body, fabric subtly outlining the muscles of his arms, how how when you ate dinner in the greenhouse, he would straighten out his coat on the chair behind himself. Rolling his sleeves up before picking up the seemingly small teacup in his large hands with high-class elegance before casting you a cheeky wink as you choked on your own drink.
You loved the way he rushed to pat your back, ask if you were feeling alright and then went back to his emotionless facade as if nothing had happened moments later and you too would fall into this habit. Your lagging mind catching up with your heart as realization overcame the two of you on how nothing more could come of this- nothing good at least.
Edward would open every door for you, allow you to walk on the inside of the sidewalk, would make sure you had the booth seat and take a hand in between your shoulder blades, sometimes the back of your neck in crammed and crowded spaces as you made your way through your parents workplace events and end-of-year parties.
And every night when you would come home, the house quiet your cold bed waiting for you with dim lights. Edward would wish you a goodnight before softly closing the door, you would wait in the far side of your room till you couldn't hear his footsteps anymore in fear of asking him to stay with you.
To truly give you all of his time, your mothers voice came back into your head, calling you selfish in your wants and you listened once more. Listening had gotten you to meet Eddie but maybe you were failing to listen to the right parts...
─────── · ·
─ · · A/N: It has been such a long time since I have written something, I hope that this was not a terrible read (hahaha... ermmm...)
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indecisiveavocado · 6 days ago
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using this to show goyim the kind of stuff jews face
brief note: for quotes, some were replying to other users. Because I do not want them to be harassed, I have removed their name when it appears, and if that bothers you, you are welcome to make a world where I don't need to worry about that. I have also generally not mentioned the name of the antisemites, although in some cases I have, generally if the rhetoric was ridiculously antisemitic and/or I considered it worth flagging so Jews would know they should probably block that user.
further brief note: trigger warnings obviously apply here.
even briefer note: this is a long post
These are actual quotes, by the way.
ACTUAL GODDAMN QUOTES
For reference, here is my post in its entirety:
why are jews skeptical of antizionism? a guide for gentiles I'd be ok with the notion Israel wasn't needed if y'all could be trusted not to fuck it up when Jews needed somewhere to flee. But last time (to put it politely) you fucked it up real bad, and six million Jews died. Fundamentally, antizionism is asking Jews to put our lives in the hands of the same people who saw us screaming for help, who knew that death awaited us, and did all of nothing. Nada. Nil. (As demonstrated by the recent Amsterdam pogrom, Israel is totally ok and often proactive in flying Jews out. Around the same time as Palestinians were being exiled, Jews from all over the Arab world were being driven out in similar numbers. The reason you don't hear about that refugee crisis? Israel accepted them, without complaint or delay or objection, just urgency.) Pardon us for being a bit skeptical of your assertions that it won't happen again when a constant theme throughout our history has been it happening again. This is a slightly modified form of an older, longer, post's tags/tldr.
and the tags:
jumblr, jewish, jewblr, antisemitism, judaism, israel, jewish tumblr, tw antisemitism, anti zionism, shoah mention, tw shoah, amsterdam, amsterdam pogrom, jewish history.
Nothing horribly unreasonable. I made no comments on Gaza. I said I supported the existence of the state of Israel, which is different from supporting its policies. Regardless of what China does to Uyghurs, Uyghurs can and should not take over all of China. You would not be able to reasonably make an inference on my support, or lack thereof, for Israel's conduct in Gaza.
Here are some of the replies in the chat. Bolding is mine.
Israel only exists because the us gave asylum, ended the war and created israel. To turn around and say they did nothing is a gross mistelling of history but i get it, youre jewish. Rewriting history to glorify yourself and demonize everyone else is the cornerstone of your culture
“Pogrom” 🙄 so fucking disrespectful to the actual casualties of historical pogroms around the world. Your football fans couldn’t handle not being racist for five minutes. That shit may fly in Israel but not in Europe. [from a non Jew, seemingly; by the way, the pogrom, which has been widely called such by Jews and was called "reminiscent of a pogrom" by Deborah Lipstadt, current US Special Envoy to Combat Antisemitism, was premediated, before any of that happened, and as I've said before, even if someone is wearing a Trump 2024 shirt and jabbers about woke threats to the country, that is not an excuse to throw them in an almost-freezing river and not let them out until they say "Harris Walz 2024!"]
Why don't you look at your fucking religion for the foot if your problems and you think that you are now safe in occupied Palestine? We are going to sweep you back like garbage. Hi and get your revenge from those who turned you into soap [note that later they say they're Semitic. Those who turned us into soap were European. They're not the same. Unless they're saying Palestinians were Nazis...?]
I'm actually saying the username here, because Jews should immediately put them on their blocklist: michmanbiker. Also from Michmanbiker after I called them antisemitic:
Anti Jewish!!!! I am Semite [sic] and 99 % of Jews are slav mongrels. So cut the bullshit
[I should note here that:
Regardless of its original meaning, antisemitic now means anti-Jewish. It's like how "slave" was originally a synonym of Slav, but you'd be laughed out of the room if you referred to them as synonyms today.
Most Israelis are not Ashkenazi--from central/Eastern Europe, where Slavs live. Most of them are Sephardim -- from Spain, generally living in the Middle East for centuries before being driven out due to an outbreak of antisemitism following the foundation of the State of Israel
Both Sephardim and Ashkenazim are recognizably Middle Eastern genetically
Considering the historical situation in which Jews lived - frequently killed, dispersed as slaves, et cetera - and Judaism frowning on intermarriage and having few converts, it is reasonable to assume that a fair portion of that ancestry is from rape. It's also worth flagging that traditionally Jewish status is passed on from the mother, because the Romans raped so many Jewish women that the rabbis changed it, and there has been a whole book written about gendered violence [read: sexual violence] in the pogroms, as well as one about sexual violence in the Holocaust. This is effectively blaming Jews for being raped.]
EDIT two days later (November 26, 2024): I got a new one! A user, youngsuitrunaway, posted the following:
How tf did I get this dirty disgusting primitive idea of pro Zionism in my recommended
One user said the following about Israel:
I go into youre property and say i want the half of it
This superficially sounds reasonable. As I replied, it is not:
No. Two people are living in a region. One is lesser in number because they were *forcibly exiled as slaves*. A neutral group draws up a plan for two states. One group accepts it. The other group, aided by every other country around them, rejects it and attempts to destroy the other group. Miraculously, the smaller group not only survives, but takes some land. (It also loses some - Jews were expelled from the Jewish Quarter of Jerusalem following the first war).
From thegreatkhan, who I am again naming because they seem fairly active and at first glance reasonably innocuous in name and description:
How about you stop playing victim and just admit that the world is fucking tired of Israel atrocities?
I replied,
you realize that it's not inherent to a state of Israel? Zionism does not imply being a supporter of every action of Israel. It means being a supporter of the fact that Israel gets to exist. It's like confusing "Americanism" (to coin a phrase), which properly refers to "yes, the United States of America gets to exist" with "from 2017-early 2021 you supported every single action taken by the US government!!!". Or, for you (since you're Spanish), confusing thinking that Spain as a country should exist with supporting the Spanish Inquisition.
Instead of engaging with this, he repeated the precise same thing.
And
Isrelies are not a fucking marginalized community. If they were a marginalized community they would not be getting billions in help from the United States. [note that he's conflating Israel with Jews]
Considering your [not mine; this was in a reply to another user] post about the dropout apology, I don't care much about whatever you have to say. Israel is committing genocide, and supporting the existence of Israel in any way shape or form is the same as supporting said genocide. [So if I think Myanmar should not have been colonized by the British, I'm supporting the Rohingya genocide?] If people believe that the land of Israel belongs to them for some kind of special gift or god [that's not why I said it should exist - I am agnostic] then that's their problem. Nobody is special, and there's no excuse to go around stealing houses and land then claiming you are the victim. I desire the worst for anyone that supports Israel, whatever their background. [I have yet to see any examples of thegreatkhan harassing Evangelical Christian users, who are generally also pro-Israel. If that's false, I welcome corrections. But when you only harass Jews, instead of the much, much, larger Evangelical Christian segment of Zionism, it comes off as sketchy]
Michmanbiker drops in:
Jews are not a race they are a religion [we're both, it's called an ethnoreligion, it's fascinating!], a filthy one at that, 99% of Jews don't have one drop of Semite blood in their veins. The whole premise for that abhorrent thing you call Israel is based on a lie. Everything Jewish is a lie including Jews being Jews as you are all sons and daughters of Shikshas. Your common traits are cowardly, evil meek and weak. I guess that makes you a people.
Switching back to thegreatkhan's better concealed antisemitism (michmanbiker is actually fairly weird, their rhetoric is closer to rightwing antisemitism, but they are clearly left-wing. Evidence in support of the horseshoe theory):
How about you isrelies stop committing genocide? It's a pet peeve of mine, sorry.
This is my response:
I...I'm not Israeli. I've never even been to Israel. The only way for you to infer that I'm Israeli from this post is to have a) not looked at my profile, where I say I am a Pittsburgher, and you may not realize this but PITTSBURGH IS NOT IN ISRAEL, which is in itself ok, and b) assumed that everyone Jewish [or Zionist, I forgot to mention that] is Israeli. I have no more ability to influence Bibi than you do. I am not a citizen of Israel and, despite y'all, I am not planning on becoming one soon. I have never been to Palestine. I don't see how I could possibly be committing genocide. Oh, that's right! You equate all Jews with Israelis! Gee, that's not antisemitic. Hey, while we're doing this - how the hell do you justify supporting the Spanish Inquisition, which you clearly do, since you're Spanish [it's in his profile]? How about Spanish colonization? What do you think of Columbus's genocidal actions? Very hypocritical of you to support genocide (what do you think Columbus did, what are you, brainwashed) when it's the Spanish doing it, but hate it when it's the Jews. Spain shouldn't exist, it should all be given to the Basques. All Spanish people (except for the Basques of course) are devils (hey, you called Israelis that [no, I'm not joking, I wish I was joking], it's not like genocide is any less bad when it's in the past)! Oh and by the way I'm not anti-Spanish cause ACKSHULLY Spanish can also refer to Basques and I'm pro-Basque."
thegreatkhan completely missed the point and replied
I actually left Spain years ago [so you were there, which means my extremeness was slightly more justified than yours], and never looked back, and I'm working hard, (through legal means, and not just arriving at a new place and throwing someone out of their house like isrelies do [Tel Aviv was founded legally, most of them were founded legally, after purchasing land, and this was after we had been thrown out of our house - right of return, anyone?]) to bring my dad over. I'm a Spanish republican, and andalucian. I do believe that Basque country should be independent [christ, it was an example!], same as many of other Spanish counties that have been for centuries treated like shit by the central fascist government of franco. Unlike isrelies, i actually work hard to put my money where my mouth is, but I can't expect a tribe of child killers and rapists to comprehend that.
(The child killer argument, by the way, was frequently used to justify violence against Jews in the MIddle Ages. Worth flagging.)
All of this on a post that mentioned supporting the existence of a country. For no other country are supporting the country's existence and actions conflated. If someone says that they don't think Russia should be invaded and taken over by Finland, we don't accuse them of supporting Putin and genocide in Ukraine. If someone says that they don't think Eritrea should be invaded by Ethiopia, we don't accuse them of supporting what's been called the African North Korea. If someone says Afghanistan shouldn't be taken over by Pakistan, we don't accuse them of supporting the Taliban. If someone says why they don't support the British taking over Myanmar (again), we don't accuse them of supporting the Rohingya genocide. If someone says they don't think France should recolonize Mauritania, we don't accuse them of supporting slavery (Mauritania being the last country to outlaw slavery, in the 1980s, and, according to some estimates, a fifth of their population is enslaved). If they don't think the UK should conquer Iran, we don't accuse them of supporting sharia law and despising women. If they say Turkey shouldn't take over Saudi Arabia, we don't accuse them of hating women.
In fact, in many of those cases, it doesn't come up. It's accepted: of course Tibetans shouldn't run China, of course Russia has a right to exist, even if it commits atrocities.
All of those countries I listed--Russia, China, Eritrea, Afghanistan, Myanmar, Mauritania, Iran, Saudi Arabia--are committing human rights abuses, sometimes genocide. But you still don't need to explain why China and Myanmar deserve to exist.
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welcometothejianghu · 11 months ago
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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 少年歌行/The Blood of Youth
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The Blood of Youth is a 2022 live-action adaptation of the tale of a deposed, disabled, and incredibly cunty prince who's on his way back to settle the score with his asshole father, and the rag-tag band of weirdos he accumulates along the way, including Spear Girl, Bad Monk, and Fire Puppy (pictured above).
I hope you like shounen anime, because this is the most shounen anime something is allowed to be without actually being based on something running weekly in Shounen Jump. What if Nirvana in Fire were also Naruto? It would be the Blood of Youth.
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This show is an underrated gem of action-packed fun that not nearly enough people in English-speaking fandom have seen. In an attempt to correct that -- and ahead of an announced second season and prequel in progress -- I'm here with five reasons you should try it out.
1. Zero thoughts head empty
You do not have to pay an enormous amount of attention to this show to understand what's going on. The show itself does not always know what's going on. It got distracted by a shiny object over there, and now we're all gearing up to go punch the shiny object. We'll get back to the main plot when we're done with the punching.
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It has a million billion plot threads going on at any given moment. Bad guys roll in from sects you've never heard of before, using superpowers with stupid names, only to get kicked into next week. There's approximately eleventy thousand characters -- so many, in fact, that I ran into problems several times while making this rec post, because there aren't readily available photos of everyone I want to talk about. Just look at the DramaWiki cast list. See how it goes on for like fifty screens? That's a little what the show feels like.
Except I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, because the show knows it's doing this, and it acts accordingly. It telegraphs pretty well who's important and who isn't (and then it goes out of its way to color-code the latter, which is handy). What you're left with is absolutely a manga-style plot, complete with training arcs and semi-relevant sidequests, all working up to the final boss match.
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It is an extremely self-aware show. On multiple occasions, something would happen, I would crack a joke about it, and then a beat later the show itself would make the exact same joke. I wouldn't call it an outright comedy, but it's still very funny, and on purpose. It has no illusions about being some kind of profound, meaningful epic. Mostly it's just here for a good time.
Yet this lightheartedness is what makes the powerful emotional parts really powerful by contrast. The show is not stupid; it's just goofing around most of the time. When it knuckles down, it can be devastating. And you know what? It does wind up being profound and meaningful about some stuff. How about that.
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So yeah, if you're up for something that bops merrily right along and only occasionally rips your heart out, here you go!
2. Putting the poly in polycule
Bisexuals, rejoice! It's representin' time!
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Here you go, I made a relationship chart of about 40% of the show's potential and canonical ships. I could have included so many more, but I only had so much space on the image, so I had to leave out some amazing ones, like the sword hedgehog who's real into this one cougar who could easily wipe the floor with him, or the rich nerd who thinks he has a chance with the aforementioned hot butch, or the fancy MILF who cheated on the emperor with a dreamy jianghu man and is trying not to cheat on him again with a different, slightly less dreamy jianghu man. See? There's just so much.
I would also say these are not exclusive ships. They are extremely inclusive ships. I am a fan of most (though admittedly not all) of the pairings listed here, and in fact of many of the three-and-more-somes indicated by these lines. They're such a cuddle puddle of shared intense feelings that it's hard to imagine anyone getting more than mildly jealous. Moreover, the potential for romance does not get in the way of hetero friendships; a boy and a girl who are each dating other people can go do adventures together, and (mostly) nobody gets weird about it, which is nice. If anything, what makes the overall dynamic so polycule-like is how equally friends and love interests get treated, meaning that it's not difficult to see a lot of crossover potential between those two categories.
If you're like me, you're hesitant about canonical romance, especially when it's straight, mostly because so many straight love stories wind up being tiresome, gross, and/or skull-poundingly boring. You will then be pleasantly surprised by how the canon pairings with members of the main cast are not like this at all!
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Xiao Se and Sikong Qianluo are the main textual romance, and golly gee, they're just cute as heck. As the chart above indicates, I like interpreting them as two Kinsey 6's who have found their single exceptions, Mulder-and-Scully-style. Maybe one of the best things about their relationship is that it gets sidelined all the time for the plot. They're not so busy being in love that they forget to get shit done. Then they get a bit of downtime and get to go on a date, and you're like, aww, those sweet gay disaster babies are gonna do a little bit of heterosexuality. Just precious.
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Tang Lian and Fairy Rui are right up there with the cuteness. She's a sex-positive dancing beauty who wants to ride that pretty boy like she stole him, and he's a shy sword boy so tightly bottled up that he'll explode if he sees a bare ankle. Avoiding spoilers, I will simply say that this is a pairing of two relatively soft people, until a bad thing happens to one of them and the other hardens up about it. If that's your jam, they're here for you.
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Lei Wujie and Ye Ruoye are probably the most magical and the most practical of the bunch. They have a beautiful, super-dreamy, really horny sword-dance meet-cute, complete with its own pop song ... and then that's it, they're basically just together. She likes him, he likes her, good for them. In-laws aside, it's a refreshingly low-drama situation. Besides, I always love it when the hypercompetent woman gets the sweet, devoted himbo who'd do anything for her. Ruoye's had a hard life, and she deserves someone who can dick her down good at night and make her a nourishing breakfast the next morning.
And then there is, of course, The Ship:
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Xiao Se and Wuxin are canonical, textual soulmates. The show treats their dynamic as more important than any other. It's so important, in fact, that the show has to sideline Wuxin for huge parts of the drama, lest everything get too damn gay. They each get a boyfriend catch on the other. They both do fairly reckless things when the other is in trouble. They are the secret hidden happy ending to the series. They share the kind of ride-or-die relationship built on mutually being the hugest bitches in any given room. Whether or not you think this is romance, it is extremely romantic, and the series agrees as much as it can, all things considered.
And if none of those flavors of love float your boat? Well, have you considered ... eunuchs?
3. She likes e4e
So I'm on record as being real into eunuch characters, right? Well, if you're with me on that, you are in for a treat here, because these are some absolutely buck-wild eunuchs.
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There's five main ones, and I can't even begin to scratch the surface of what's going there. Like, really, I don't even think I understood all of what was happening with them. They're kind of the bad guys, but then they're kind of the good guys, but then some of them are the bad guys, but then they're just working for the bad guys, but then they screw over the bad guys, and ... it's just a lot, okay? It's a lot, and it's all happening with this bunch of catty bitches.
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Also, you would not believe the difficult time I had finding any images for this section. I guess for some reason, fandom isn't way into a bunch of canonically dickless color-coordinated middle-aged men in weird hats? Whatever, man, they are missing out. If, however, you have the good sense to be into the intense and complicated (semi-romantic??) relationships among colleagues who also professionally just happen to be missing their external genitalia, buddy, strap in (and maybe strap on, depending).
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Don't let me oversell how much these guys are in the show. They're not. They're vaguely important at points throughout, and they become incredibly important near the end, but they're hardly main characters. They're mostly back at the palace, doing their various schemes and looking absolutely fantastic.
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So if they're such a minor part of the story, why do they get their own selling point? Well, I think their presence is a good example of two specific things about the show:
Specific thing the first: It's so queer -- not gay, but queer. Thinking back to my last selling point, you will notice how many of those straight pairings may look normie on the outside, but once you get down to it are not playing by cishet rules. (For instance, I've seen a lot of people read Tang Lian's resistance to sexual advances as asexuality, which, sure!) Likewise, there are lots of incredibly important, intimate relationships that don't conform to standard romantic pair dynamics. Add to that a lot of bodies with unusual characteristics and conditions, and you've got the makings of plenty of delightful non-normative love stories.
Specific thing the second: There are so many things going on with so many side characters that there's a kink here for everyone. Don't care for eunuchs? How about slinky villains with mind-control powers? Devoted servants who would do anything for their masters? Former bad guys who owe life-debts to the good guys who saved them? Bonded pairs traipsing around the jianghu together? Sons nursing legitimate grudges against the men who killed their fathers? Alcoholic widowers with incredibly slutty necklines? Mysterious cross-dressers with unconvincing moustaches? Vengeful brides? Martial siblings? Murderous royals? Guilt-ridden half-siblings? Boring star-crossed lovers? All these and more! It's a smorgasbord of rarepair fuel!
Also, I just love these toxic drama queens. It's like if RuPaul's Drag Race had the authority to have you executed.
4. The most intriguing outfits I've ever seen in anything (and yes, I'm including Winter Begonia)
Time for a fashion show!
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The asymmetrical fits, the detailed embroidery on everything, the brilliant colors -- everybody just looks so good. And yet everything still looks ... eh, I don't know if "practical" is the word I want, but at least wearable. Nobody's dragging ten-foot trains of fabric behind them or wrapped in eighty floofy layers of gauze (except Rui, but she's special). Their outfits are strange and elaborate, but they don't defy physics.
What's truly stunning is how often they get new outfits. Xiao Se alone changes clothes about once every other episode, and more if he's getting a flashback. He is the fashion plate of the whole series, and every look he serves is pitch-perfect.
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They're not outright color-coded, but the main characters do have certain colors associated with them -- which is extra-fun when you watch those colors bleeding into their friends' clothes as their relationships get stronger. I also think -- and I'm willing to be proven wrong on this point, but I think I'm right -- that they recycle some characters' outfits into parts of other characters' outfits. On more than one occasion, I'd swear that Lei Wujie shows up wearing the left half of something Xiao Se was wearing a few episodes back (tailored to fit him, of course, because that dumb ponytail boy is tall).
Where I think the costume design gets massive points, though, is that the costumes are themselves adaptations.
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Before the live-action series, there was a 2018 3D animated donghua. I have never watched the latter, but apparently the drama is intensely faithful to the animated visuals, to the point where some fights are shot-for-shot remakes.
Of course, you can do a lot more with unreal clothing and bodies in animation -- and you can show a lot more skin, at least according to Chinese content laws. The live-action costumers chose to preserve about as many of the appearance beats from the donghua as they could manage, while still accepting the limitations of real-life bodies and materials. You can see some side-by-side comparisons here. The live-action outfits manage to be instantly recognizable without being slavishly devoted recreating to their inspirations.
So if you're sick and tired of dreary, ill-lit shows with bland palettes, this vibrant, colorful drama may be just the thing for you. It's a rainbow from start to finish.
5. Actually a good central plot?
Despite all the wacky delightful shounen nonsense that this show has -- and it has a lot -- the core of the whole narrative, which is Xiao Se's story, is surprisingly great and cohesive.
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The short version is this: Xiao Se used to be Xiao Chuhe, sixth prince and somewhat heir apparent. Then he and his jerk-ass dad had a falling-out that resulted in the prince's having his martial arts abilities all but taken from him. He's been living the life of a very well-dressed innkeeper for several years, trying to avoid all of that palace garbage. But now his jerk-ass dad is dying, which means that a lot of horrible decisions are finally having unfortunate consequences for everyone, and Xiao Se's got to get back in there to make sure everything does not go to shit and land someone terrible on the throne -- even if it has to mean taking it himself.
His central conflict is between what he used to be and what he's become. Does he miss being Xiao Chuhe, high-ranked martial artist and future emperor? Or is he happier being Xiao Se, long-suffering nobody who can barely run a business, much less hold his own in a fight? What would he be willing to do to get back what he's lost? What are his obligations to himself versus his obligations to everyone else? How much is he responsible for his father's bullshit? And why has he wound up having to babysit this stupid Fire Puppy?
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It's okay, they're best friends now. Lei Wujie decided.
No spoilers, but I liked Xiao Se's ending a lot. I feel it's very true to the character and shows a real understanding of who he is and what he values. And really, at the end of the day, sometimes all you need for a happy ending is your girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend who's also your boyfriend, your other boyfriend, his girlfriend, and your long-distance for-real soulmate.
Feel like giving the youths a try?
You can find them on YouTube or on Viki. But be absolutely sure that no matter where you watch it, you make sure to go watch the epilogue as well. (And if you get real into the story, well, here's a link to information about all the other adaptations.)
You are also welcome for how I did not spend this post going off for five hundred years on how much I love Wuxin and his funky relationship to Buddhism. I figured that's way too niche of a selling point for most people, and might indeed have even been counterproductive. But know that I could have.
Also, I'm very happy about the announcement of a second season, because that's going to mean Liu Xueyi has to shave his head again, and he looks unbearably good with a shaved head.
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Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the whole motorcycle photoshoot?
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In case you hadn't noticed, the whole cast is stupidly hot. Hachi machi.
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sameschmidtdiffname · 10 months ago
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Tumblr WILL NOT let me post the fic and this ask at the same time and I've tried legit five times. So THANK YOU anon for the request and I'm sorry for the weirdness in uploading. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this!
My Ghost.
Billy x Gender Neutral! Reader
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Summery: You don't know what happened that night. Things were fine, life was good, then your partner is on the news for all sorts of shit you never would've thought him capable of the day prior. He was dead, he was evil, and you were trying to move on. But what's the proper etiquette when the dead show up on your door unannounced?
Tags: No use of Y/N, hurt/comfort, fake death, mentions of drinking, drug use/dealing, grieving, arguing, cursing, flashbacks, brief suggestive scenes, suicidal thoughts.
Other Works in This Series: 'Repentance' (Prequel to 'My Ghost') • 'Lapses' (Sequel to 'My Ghost')
Notes: The way I've been trying to upload this for two hours. Oh my fucking God. Anyways, everyone say thank you to anon for getting me to write something that doesn't make God cry.
-¤°》◇《°¤-
I'm not hard to please, but I'm not desperate despite what the rumors may say.
People enjoy gossip. People who don't know fuck all about you. And my standards are fine. Were fine. And I don't mean standards such as 'buys me flowers everyday' or 'doesn't deal coke.' I mean standards such as 'is a decent fucking person.'
"That's what I thought you were up until all of this fucking... disappearing for months!" I scream, anger fueling me. I don't let the other emotions win out, don't let them have a say. Because if I do, I'll be too conflicted and overwhelmed and then I'm gonna cry, and that's not fair.
People had warned me he was trouble. Terms such as 'wannabe cowboy,' 'rebel without a cause' were tossed around in warning. But to me, he was just Billy.
Then he was dead.
Now, he was here. He showed up at my door nine months after leaving me with a small little keychain on the kitchen table and a soft kiss on my forehead, saying he had some plans for that evening. But he'll be back soon.
Then he was on the news. And a gas station blew up. Gangs, stolen vehicles. He was probably dead. Things would be easier if he was dead.
Fine. Maybe I initially ignored warning signs. Maybe I was distracted by his handsome side profile, too busy admiring his nose to notice the occasions it was dusted with the trace of a fine powder. Maybe his hands were too beautiful for me to realize they were slipping money to men in dark jackets when we went out to the rougher parts of town. But he was mine and I was his, and overall he was a good person.
He was alive. He was alive and I was mad because if he was dead then at least it would be valid that for nine months I have had to deal with the accusatory stares of our neighbors assuming I knew, the pity from my loved ones, and the betrayel that kept me awake at night. It would mean he hadn't left me to deal with his repercussions, that maybe there was a valid excuse. An undiagnosed brain tumor that finally gave way to insanity, a gun to his head. Something that was not the worst case scenario of just... being an awful person. I could let his things rest around the house undisturbed, hiding from the world and waiting to find the courage to join him one day and living in denial in the meantime. What the fuck was all of this?
"I couldn't tell you," he keeps saying. "It was better if you knew nothing until I was sure I could come get you."
"Why didn't you just take me with you from the start?" I ask. I've been pacing the floor for the past twenty minutes ever since he showed up. It was better than throwing every breakable object in the cheap, worn down shack of a house at him, which was my second instinct. My first was to pull him into my arms, draw the curtains shut and hide him away so that he'll never leave again. Like an idiot.
He laughs bitterly. "You would not be asking that if you knew what the fuck I went through," he says. His words sound like they should be angry, but there's this lightness to them like he can't let himself think too much about it. It just makes me angrier.
"Don't fucking laugh!" I snap. "Do you think any of this is funny?"
"I think you're funny when you're mad," he deflects, smiling. "You got this whole routine. Pacing, nose twitching. I like the Shirley Temple stomps, like you're a kid."
I groan loudly, the noise almost sounding like a low scream in my throat.
"You owed money to fucking- who?" I yell.
"The details don't matter-"
"When I have been grieving your death for nine months, they fucking matter!" I snap. His brows furrow, his hands mid air as if to say 'the fuck did I do?'
"You know me, okay? I don't get caught," he says as though it were obvious.
"I know fucking nothing!" I practically scream.
When we met he was just a guy at a bar, handsome, wearing that same ridiculous jacket that I couldn't help but stroke the white fluff on, tequila running through my veins.
"Can I help you?" He asked, smirking.
"Just wanted to see what it felt like," I said.
"Wanna feel something else?" He asked, his chin resting on his head.
"Oh, fucking gross. Fuck o-"
"I was talking about this," he said, whipping out his keys to show off an odd, weirdly shaped keychain with short, stiff fuzz. "Don't call me a pervert just cause you're one."
He was smiling. It was an easy smile. Careless, happy with life. I loved that smile. It meant things were always alright as long as he was smiling.
He was smiling on the photo they used for the manhunt.
We'd danced the whole night. He didn't know hardly any of the songs, causing him to be off beat. I was too drunk to keep time, so I stepped on his leather boots enough times there was a visible scuff on the top of one by the end of the night. I always felt bad, offering to replace or help pay to fix it. He wouldn't let me.
"They're a keepsake," he'd insist. "A living memory." He wore them everyday.
He's wearing sneakers, today.
At the end of the night, I stumbled out of the bar with a note in my coat pocket. It took two weeks for me to wear that coat again, and when I found the slip I'd almost thrown it away, assuming it was something dumb. But when I saw the worst handwriting in the world displaying a number belonging to someone named 'Keychain Guy,' I almost couldn't wait to call.
"Bullshit," Billy snaps. "You know me better than anyone."
"Don't say that," I say, putting a hand out protectively to keep him away. "That's exactly why everyone thinks I was just fine with that whole- fucked up thing!"
A gas station burned. A stolen vehicle. People were dead. People were dead.
Billy was presumed dead.
There was no funeral. He had no family, and none of mine wanted to put money into something that would be protested by the whole town anyways. No body to bury, nothing to do but gather up his things and smoke what remained in his stash until people came to nurse me back to life. By that point there wasn't even relief in drugs. The taste simply reminded me of better times cooking in the kitchen as we blew the smoke into each others faces, or worse. Better. Whatever.
I never questioned when Billy went out of town. I knew his work had details I didn't want nor need to know. Money was tight. But Billy always came home with little things whenever he went on unexpected trips. Knick knacks, snacks, some item I'd seen at the store and picked up to make a comment about. Had he been particularly forthcoming about his dealing when we started dating? No. He said he worked for a local small business, which technically isn't untrue. But about six months in, he was the one who approached me and sat me down at the small, rickty round table to tell me the truth. And that's what mattered to me. The economy is shit and it's not like it was meth, so who am I to judge?
About a year into it, I was begging for him to do something else.
"I don't like you disappearing," I told him. "I'm scared one day you're gonna piss someone off and that'll be the end. Then what am I gonna do?"
"Then you're gonna make sure they don't fuck up my face during the embalming process for the funeral," Billy said around his hand rolled cigarette. I whip the small dish towel at him, making him laugh and protect his small ashtray that I made him for Christmas the year prior. It was shitty, uneven, and I'm 99% sure a fire hazard. But he wouldn't use any other ones unless I was the one who bought them for him, and even then he favored this one. 'When this place goes up in flames,' I thought, 'I'll regret that gift.'
I'd kept it by the kitchen window every day since he'd died. "Died." It was his spot.
He moves to sit there now, looking in his pockets for the small box of prerolled cigarettes.
"People know you weren't involved," he says dismissively.
"Your friends know. What about the old ladies at church? The checkout clerks at the store? How about the fucking mailman?" I shout, convinced I'm still talking to the dead. "You think they know the ins and outs of the local psychos support group?" I ask, gesturing and stepping closer.
I was the local outcast now. Not to be trusted, not worth kindness. Shame was my title, and when Billy appeared on my doorstep at an hour where only I was awake I was sure I'd caught the same awful disease that must have been what sent him spiraling that winter day. It wasn't until he pushed the door open fully, taking me into his arms and pressing a warm kiss to my lips that I knew he was real. It was a feeling I was in the early stages of forgetting, blurry and cold. But here he was, the stubble on his chin a bit longer and his ears missing the small hoops that had glittered in the sunlight when he walked out the door.
Then I'd pushed him away. And the fight began.
"I'm not a fucking psycho," he argues. His hands pat around his outfit, searching. "You got a lighter?"
"Fuck off." I kept his favorite in my left pocket. I had to be careful what things of his I wore or kept on my person. People close to me knew I would have never condoned his actions, but even they had glared at me in the early wake of Billy's death when I dared to wear one of his shirts out of the house, or more commonly one of his thick leather jackets. But a lighter can be hidden, and unless you had borrowed it you wouldn't know it had specifically been his. So I kept it with me all the time, just feeling it next to my skin with the only barrier being the fabric of my pocket. Without a thought, I cover the small item as though he can see right through me. Picking up on the hint, he's rises from the table and begins walking over to me.
"Don't be a dick, just let me borrow it," he says, holding out his hand.
"Fuck off," I snap.
"You've said that. I just need it for two seconds," he says as his hands begin to gently grab at me, one on my shoulder and the other dipping into my pocket.
"Get the fuck off of me!" I yell, slapping at him.
"Just let me have-"
He cuts himself off as he pulls out the lighter from my pocket, his thumb grazing over the printed picture. The Statue of David. He'd bought because it made us laugh. One side was the regular statue, the other a close up of its small genitals with cursive writing underneath spelling the art piece's name.
"Oh," Billy says quietly.
We stand for a moment, silent. He doesn't seem sure what to do. My lungs burn with unheaved sobs. I fucking hate this.
"You were gonna come back," I finally say quietly. I hate how my voice sounds when I'm upset. I hate that I'm wearing his dogtag, an item he'd bought at a World War II museum in middle school that he gave me for our first Christmas because we were both too broke to actually buy each other anything, hence the poorly made ashtray. I hate that when I sleep at night it's in his clothes that I rarely wash because the idea of losing his smell makes me want to scream. I hate that his scent is different from the bottle of cologne he kept next to my makeup, one time spilling all over the entire bathroom counter because we'd gotten too wrapped up in each other, dragging our nails down each others backs and watching ourselves in the mirror until one wrong move of my hand revealed he'd been a bit too careless about screwing the lid back on earlier in the day. I'd always warned him about that.
I'd been in the bathroom putting on my permanently scented blush when I got the text.
"I was going to," he said softly. "Then I couldn't."
"So what?" I say, not daring to turn and face him, choosing instead to stare at where the cheap, old wood paneling of the wall meets the shaggy, stained carpet that you have to wear shoes on due to the staples that have begun sticking out of it. "You just propose to someone and then pretend to die?"
Valentines Day was an awfully cheesy day to do it. So it's a good thing it was a technicality.
The day had been lovely. Billy had saved up a little to take me to a local hibachi place, telling me to wear my best outfit and jewelry. It was slightly overkill, but it's the small things in life, isn't it?
We'd come home with a bottle of wine, a low budget movie to ignore and hands searching desperately for each other.
"I love you," he'd said between pants. "You're mine."
"Buy a ring," I'd dared. Our minds were buzzed, the bottle half empty and our clothes thrown away without care. Took me weeks to find his both of his socks.
I hadn't meant for him to take it seriously. But I guess he decided it was time.
Two days later I thought it was odd when he walked into the house with my favorite lunch. It wasn't expensive really, we just usually got it for special occasions or days that had been mentally harder for me. And things were normal that day. I was getting ready for my shift, running around like I always do trying to make sure I've got everything.
"Your coffee's in the cup, will you just sit down?" He laughed, watching me. I quickly collected the take out box, sipping my coffee and wincing over its temperature.
"Fuck, that burns," I cursed. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to get me to sit at the table. "Baby, I can't," I protested softly, but I was laughing. He was peppering me in kisses, giving me those big puppy dog eyes everyone knew were my weakness. He wanted for nothing so long as he looked at me just like that.
"Just this once," he asked, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I couldn't help the blush and giggle that rose from me, but I also couldn't be late.
"I'll make up for it," I promised, slipping away and running into the bedroom to get my shoes. When I ran back in, pulling them on and coming to kiss him goodbye, I nearly fell over when I saw him on one knee, smiling and looking at me like 'I told you so.'
I don't like how itchy the ring feels on my middle finger as I twirl it in thought.
"You don't know what happened," he pleaded, his hands still on me. "If you would just listen to me-"
"The news gave a pretty good description, William. I don't think there's missing pieces in my head, unlike you," I say coldly, detaching from myself so to not have to deal with my emotions. This makes him stiffen, pulling away and resuming his place at the kitchen table, lighting his cigarette and placing the ashtray in front of him like nothing has changed when everything has.
It feels like I'm out of time. Like I've been shoved into a picture of what my life looked like before. Except the house was never this clean, clothes always scattered about. Not just in a fit of passion, we just had bad habits when it came to picking up. Billy would always say the chairs are more decorations then they are seats, anyways. "Why would you use those when you have such a nice seat here?" He'd ask, wiggling his hips and placing his hands behind his head, making me laugh.
Billy never looked so well put together in the house, usually in a wife beater and his hair framing his face. He'd always joked he looked like a dirty hippie around me, and I'd always show him how much I liked that. Not that he looked fantastic now. When we went out he was known for putting in effort. He always had more hair products than me, which I found funny. Though he refused makeup. Once I'd managed to talk him into eyeliner. 'Guyliner' I'd teased. He liked it, but said it should stay between us with a wink before asking where to get dinner. Now he sits before me in clothes obviously stolen to help him look unremarkable, his hair shaggy and uncut, so different from the man I loved.
"Who are you?" I asked him. That man didn't shrink away from accountability.
He sighed, smoke swirling around him as he wipes his face with his hand.
"I don't know. Can't tell if I'm better or worse, to be honest," he admits softly. His eyes look haunted, heavy bags underneath. It's the way his shoulders sag as though his will to go on is slowly draining from him in this very moment that makes me want to break now. Like whatever reason he had for still going was fruitless.
I didn't like the way we mirrored each other like this.
I slowly scuff my feet towards him, tapping my fingers against the back of the wooden chair before pulling it out to sit across from him. It's a start.
"So if you tell me," I say slowly. "Am I going to wish you were dead?"
He doesn't look at me. "I don't know."
Great.
The night is long. Morning comes without an invitation, the blue sky beginning to glow through the shitty blinders I always told Billy we should replace one day. I understand less than when we started, we've both cried more than once, and between our fingers is cigarette stubs and the feeling of each others skin, hands laced together as though another click of an old remote to an outdated TV with batteries you had to rub against your shirt to make work would reveal the smouldering remains of a gas station, displaying the estimated body count and deeming one of us as a devil of the worst kind, ripping us apart.
"Jesus," I say when it's over.
"Yeah," he says. "So, needless to say, my anxiety is shit now."
It isn't funny. It's a tragic statement. But when we both glance into the others eyes, it's his small little smirk that makes me laugh like I haven't since my mother sent me the local news report with his picture covering the front page. The same one that shows everything is still okay.
"I'm sorry," I say. Then the laughing turns into sobbing, and then I can't breathe. And I really am sorry.
I'm sorry I couldn't help him. I'm sorry he went out on a romantic whim and borrowed money he shouldn't have for the ring I was too ashamed to wear on the proper finger. I'm sorry he couldn't come back for me. And I'm sorry for hating him when he showed up unannounced at my door.
"Hey," he says gently, standing and crossing to me, removing his jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders to comfort me. It's unfamiliar, evidence of a life he wouldn't have led if he had just stayed by me and it upsets me, but his lips against my wet cheeks ground me, familiar and soothing me, coaxing me into wrapping my arms around him, clawing my trembling fingers through his hair. Still soft. Still combed.
"You can't stay here," I choke out.
"I know," he says quietly. There's nothing for a long time, our bodies shaking as we cling to each other. In our arms are the unspoken months of grief. Of his longing for our home, of my insanity. Death looms over the furniture, light hidden away lest it take away my sacred treasures I'd used to keep his spirit close to me.
"I can't lose you again," I say.
"I know," he says, smelling my hair and placing a soft kiss on top of my head. "But I can't promise stability if you follow me."
My brows furrow, my mind racing in confusion, my hopes rising. Follow?
"I know a guy," he says quickly, his arms tighter as if scared I'll turn away. "Says he can get me a new identity and a one way ticket to somewhere. I don't know where yet, but it's worth a try."
My fingers trace his back, swirling invisible patterns over his shirt. He'd always liked that after a rough day. I can feel the tension begin to slowly fall away from him at the contact, his breathing growing deeper and more steady. "And you want me to come?"
"Need," he corrects. "I don't regret leaving you, but I can't stay away. Even if it's more kind to let you mourn and find a better life."
A new life. A new identity. New name, new everything.
Maybe I am insane. Maybe this exactly the kind of mental break Billy had that day. Maybe I was doomed to follow his spirit no matter what. Maybe this is a second chance. Maybe God had granted me a mercy I'll never be able to repay, no matter how many night I spend in worship at a church or between this man's legs. Maybe I'd spend every day looking over my shoulder, paranoid and eventually turning cruel to strangers so to keep this one person everyone told me to let go of from the very beginning.
But the same Billy.
"Can he do a marriage license?" I ask after a long silence. I can hear him laugh, pulling away to look at me.
"That eager?" He asks softly, his eyes gentle, thumb stroking my cheek. I lean into his touch, softly placing a kiss on his palm.
▪︎》◇《▪︎
"Well," I say, "I already have the ring."
Masterlist
As cute as this was, please have better standards than the Reader I wrote in this fic. No man is worth that. I am DEADASS. Anyways, love y'all <3
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three-realms-archive · 4 months ago
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Unhinged™
(inspired by this post by @leniisreallycool. the pure madness of obey me is the reason why I typically write chaotically-comedic slice-of-life scenarios; because i can honestly write these guys doing the stupidest things and argue that it might as well be canon, these dorks. anime canon, tho. the anime is just another beast of its own to the game ahahaha.)
(so while this may not be anime canon-level obey me content, i hope it comes close. if they’ve actually done any of these and i just haven’t experienced it in-game yet, let me know! it only proves my point.)
There was a time when Solomon brought an extremely-long baguette everywhere with him, insisting it was his magic wand. Even as the days turned to weeks, and the bread crust turned to mould, Solomon would still carry it around everywhere; unbothered by the rancid smell and waving it like a idol group light-stick whenever he spoke an incantation. Then, one day, he showed up at RAD with sandwiches to share. Sandwiches… with suspiciously green and white bread. Turns out, this whole thing was Solomon’s interpretation of dry-aging.
Belphegor and Asmodeus have an ongoing vlog series on Deviltube called ‘Beauty Sleep’. They go somewhere trendy, find some inappropriate place for Belphie to sleep, and Asmo takes some #aesthetic shots whilst timing how long Belphie can nap before being kicked out. It’s incredibly popular and sometimes features cameos from the exchange students and the other Avatars of Sin. Once, a subscriber milestone came with a special surprise: a live-streamed episode of Beauty Sleep in the Demon Lord’s Castle! They never got caught, because Diavolo was busy watching the livestream in his room - too invested to realise it was his own house.
The dining table in the main room of the House of Lamentation has its own fandom on the DevilNet. There are multiple fansites speculating the exact materials used to make it; the exact number of fasteners it uses; and, most especially, its exact length. There are posts, blogs and entire DevilTube deep-dive videos centred around the mystery of how long the table is. This is because, in every piece of media involving the table, it appears a different length despite the decorations and location remaining the same. What the Devildom doesn't know is that the table was made retractable shortly after MC arrived in the Devildom. It was a custom job, done solely so that the table could be used as a runway for a makeshift fashion show (Asmo and Mammon's idea) the brothers held with human world clothes one time MC was feeling homesick.
Once, for a whole month, Mammon dedicated himself to creating a new currency. For the first week, he was an absolute menace, stealing metal objects (like small screws or unused kitchen utensils) around the house to melt down and form into coins of his own design. Beel cried for five days over the lack of cutlery and Asmo kept shrieking whenever he realised he’d had another piece of jewellery had been stolen from him. The rest of the month was spent attempting to rope people into investing; then failing; then celebrating because he had so much of his money to himself; and finally crying because none of it would be accepted at stores.
When he had first gotten into reading books, Satan started a website called ‘Ampbook’ where demons could upload personal writing projects, as well as comment on and share them, too. It’s now incredibly popular, especially amongst younger demons, and is well-known for romance. Well. Much to Satan’s chagrin, it was actually better-known for romance… and fanfiction. He’s constantly torn between allowing his beloved site users their freedom of expression, or immediately taking down any fanfics shipping MC with any of his other brothers. He’s also faked MC x Satan as the most trending tag, permanently.
The height of Beel’s appreciation for Leviathan was shortly after MC’s arrival into the Devildom. They had introduced Levi to an anime centred around four students in a high school swimming team; including a protagonist who Beel thought had a dubiously-intimate love of water. Regardless, Levi tried out for the RAD swimming team - got in and won a bunch of gold medals - and then proceeded to quit the team after a new, different anime he had been waiting for came out. All in the span of a week. To Levi's disdain, Beel brings this up at least once a month: by parading a handmade display of Levi's medals and a framed photo of his older brother in a swimsuit around RAD, showing it off to everyone who asked. And everybody asked. Maybe not so much for the medals.
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regretmedaisy · 1 year ago
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i can see you - tom riddle x fmc/reader
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part II
loosely inspired by "i can see you" by taylor swift.
“I've been watchin' you for ages
And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it”
summary: She had always fancied Tom Riddle. It was an infatuation that bordered on love and obsession, that she had secretly grown and cared for, content with indulging in her fantasies and never bold enough to try and make them become reality.
When she meets him again in her adulthood, dormant longings resurface together with a newfound desire to be the object of his own devotion.
As their paths keep crossing, she starts to think he feels the same.
tags: afab mc, use of female pronouns and no descriptors (i tagged it as x reader because i guess it could be read as such if you use the same pronouns), somewhat period-accurate clothing, courtship (just a little because it's still tom riddle), fmc has a crush on tom, she's a bit anxious, a bit of fluff, explicit sexual desire, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, woman is on top.
please note that mc has a crush on tom, therefore the way she refers to him could sound a bit cheesy and exaggerated. i edited this last night and didn't read it again before posting. i'm sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes i missed.
bear with her in this one, she's a little anxious.
words: 6.7K
you can find part I here, I strongly recommend you read that one first.
this is me crawling out of my hole of shame to post this chapter.
i'm really sorry for this very late update, but the smut chapter is finally here after many days of writing (but still in time for smutober lol).
it's not crazy smut, but i hope it was worth the wait.
Part II: And I could see you up against the wall with me
She tapped her foot, pursing her red lips as she jotted a few numbers down on a parchment. She sighed, taking another folder from the pile on her side and checking if the reports corresponded. 
When Serena, her boss, had showed up that morning with two delivery men in tow, she already knew her day was going to take a detestable turn.
Serena had dropped three boxes full of last year's reports in the office and sprinted out of the door before they could say anything and try to stop her.
Apparently she had hired a cheap accountant to save money and now she had to review everything before the Ministry noticed and demanded an audit. Or rather, Serena had asked her to do it.
She was now holed up in the backroom while Will had taken her place in the main office, since Serena didn’t pay her enough to care about customers and save her from bankruptcy at the same time.
She glanced at the clock, noting that it was almost time for her usual break. She chewed the inside of her cheek and returned to the reports.
She wasn’t in the right mindset to meet Tom.
The day she had gone to see him had been like the calm before the literal storm. In the past week it had rained so heavily that she had had to give up on going out and he hadn’t come to post his letters. What had happened between them had been left unresolved.
She had replayed it so many times in her mind, at night and during idle moments in the office, picturing different ways in which it could have ended, desperately wishing she could indulge in his warm lips again.
The first few days she had fretted about it, but as the week had gone by without a word from him, she had just started to accept it as the normal course of things. Perhaps it had just been an extraordinary event, a moment that wasn’t going to repeat itself and that she needed to find contentment in. Perhaps it was supposed to be one of those memories she was going to return to in twenty years, thinking about everything she could have had, or it will sour in her mind, turning into regret while her lamenting soul grieved the possibilities of youth, the chances she had been too scared to take.
It didn’t matter that she was conscious of the anxious butterflies leading her decisions, she still didn’t want to find out if what she saw in him was just a product of her infatuated imagination.
She immersed herself in numbers, refusing to go down that rabbit hole again.
Fifteen minutes after the end of her break, a customer walked in. A beat of silence followed and then Will said, “She’s in the back.”
She almost jumped out of her seat, her heart rate picking up. She quickly smoothed her hair and sat straighter, crossing her legs.
Tom appeared in the doorway, his arm half raised as if he had wanted to knock. She pretended she had just noticed him.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hello, Tom.” She gave him a mellow smile.
He was so good-looking, with his perfectly styled curls and black coat in the muted light of the cloudy morning. Her heart fluttered painfully.
He looked hesitant as he made his way to her and handed her a folded magazine. It was the weekly crossword.
“Thank you,” she said, taking it as her gaze met his. The way he was looking at her was so compelling it was impossible for her to divert her eyes.
He had been thinking of her, she realised, he had noticed her absence, perhaps even missed her.
“I hope I’m not disrupting your work.” His gaze trailed to the numerous papers scattered on the table.
“Not at all, a distraction is more than welcome.” The distraction of his presence was most desirable.
He drew closer, reading through them as he casually rested his hand on the back of her chair.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Maths mostly,” she replied, fiddling with the parchments to hide her nervousness.
He reached out over her shoulder to grab a folder but she placed a hand on his arm to stop him.
“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s still work.”
He dropped his arm. “You’re right, I apologise. I don’t wish to put you in an uncomfortable position.”
“It’s fine.”
He stepped to the side, tickling her neck.
“I’ll see you later?” he asked.
She had to stop herself from grinning.
“Of course.” 
She watched him with desirous parted lips as he left. He said goodbye to Will and she heard the door closing. It was only a matter of minutes before Will came to pry.
She grabbed the crossword, flipping through the pages. He had bought her her favourite one.
As she got up to put it next to her bag, a small note fell to the ground. It was a plain piece of parchment. But as she picked it up, ready to throw it on the table with the rest of the documents, words started to appear.
Her breath caught in her throat. She knew to whom that elegant and neat handwriting belonged.
She read the note. Then read it again to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. 
“I hope to see you more often in the future.
You look stunning with that lip colour.
T.R.”
She brought her fingers to her mouth, staring at the words until each swirl of ink etched into her mind, terrified they might disappear.
Instead his message remained there, visible, tangible, real. He had taken time to write her a note, to think about something he knew she’d appreciate.
Something warm diffused in her chest, a new version of a familiar feeling, and a giggle escaped her as she realised the ridiculous effect he had on her. 
She was so engrossed in her reverie that she didn’t notice Will standing in the door until he cleared his throat. 
She quickly hid the message in her purse and  he was so considerate not to comment on it.
“How is it going?” he asked.
“Awfully slowly, these numbers are all over the place,” she huffed, returning to her chair.
He dragged a chair and sat across from her. He started bouncing his knee. “I know you’d prefer not to talk about this, but how are things between you two?”
She stopped twirling her quill. “What do you mean?”
Will shuffled awkwardly in his seat. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you but I’d hate to see you hurt.”
She tilted her head to the side, disliking the territory the conversation was heading towards.
He was struggling with his words. “He never- I never saw him interested in a girl. I just want to be sure you know what you can expect from him.”
She averted her eyes. “I have considered all the options.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know, Will!” she bursted out. 
Her flare of annoyance suddenly deflated, making room for embarrassment for what he probably saw as naivety.
“I know I’m probably getting ahead of myself.”
“You are smart, I just can’t stand watching you smile at the things he writes to you.”
She feigned offence and threw a balled up paper at him. 
“When you find someone, you’ll be just as ridiculous.”
He laughed and steepled his fingers in front of him. “I’m curious to know, when did it start?”
She scrunched her eyebrows, thinking about how much she wanted to reveal. “I don’t remember exactly. It was more like a sequence of events, until one day I was anxiously waiting for him to sit at his usual spot at breakfast,” she replied with a smile. Will was smiling too.
“You and half of Hogwarts,” he said.
She chuckled. “I miss those years sometimes. Everything was simpler.”
“I used to worry about everything,” he admitted. “But fears always seem so big.”
They really did.
“What do you like about him?” he asked after a beat of silence.
It was her turn to be at a loss of words. “He’s handsome…and always so mysterious. I think I always liked him because it was easy to imagine him being exactly what I wanted.” She looked at him hesitantly, fearing judgement, but he was just listening. “But I think it’s impossible for me to dislike the real him.”
They shared a small moment of closure. She had always wished for someone she could confide in, someone that could help her see beyond the fabrications of her wary heart, and perhaps she had finally found them.
The bell chimed and Will got up. 
“Do you want to come for lunch on Sunday?” she asked.
“I’d love to. I’m sorry for earlier, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
His gaze shifted between the door and her. “Just make sure you both want the same thing.”
He went back, leaving her at the mercy of her insidious brain and foolish heart.
Throughout the afternoon she had opened the note at least three times, giggling like a schoolgirl everytime she read his words.
Her mind kept straying to what he had said.
“I’ll see you later.”
She wasn’t sure what he had actually meant. Was he just going to stop by or was he going to wait for the office to close? She wasn’t even sure she could see him today, since she expected to stay late to solve Serena’s mess. 
Will popped in. “I have to check something at the owlery. I’ll be back in a while.”
“Alright, I’ll see you later.”
The door opened and closed and then she was submerged by stillness. It was soothing almost.
She had found out long ago that she enjoyed being alone, it freed her of any kind of expectation.
She turned up the heating with her wand and took off her jacket. Since they couldn’t light a fireplace in a room full of paper, they had refined a spell that kept the room warm and the humidity away.
It was a few minutes after the usual closing hour that the door opened again. She knew who it was.
He walked in, his cheeks slightly flushed from the cold and his lips reddened. 
“Are you still working?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’m afraid it’ll take a while before I’m free to go.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said, grabbing her crossword and a quill and sitting down on a chair, bending one leg so that his ankle rested on his other knee.
Her face heated as she watched him but she didn’t say anything.
As she returned to her work, she realised that silence was a strange assistant. It felt like every sound was heightened and she was becoming keenly aware of everything that was happening. The scratching of their quill on parchment, paper being flipped as she checked the numbers or he looked for a crossword he liked, his soft breath threatening to pull her close like a magnet, her absentmindedly chipping her nail polish.
She kept throwing glances in his direction and she could feel his eyes on her from time to time.
An unspoken craving was growing between them again. She had waited long enough.
She slowly got up, gathering her reports and stacking them in a neat pile. She then took them and walked over to the shelves, conveniently passing by Riddle in doing so. 
As she stored them, his chair scraped on the ground and she felt him draw closer. She deliberately turned around, meeting his eyes.
His gaze was deep, like he was trying to read every thought that crossed her mind just by looking at her. She wasn’t going to lay them bare for him. 
He raised his hand, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Did you get my message?”
“I did,” she replied, stepping forward and trailing her fingers down his suit jacket, feeling the fabric. “You keep mentioning it but this is the first time I’ve seen you all week.”
“It was storming all week,” he pointed out.
She tilted her head, finding his eyes again. His eagerness was palpable. “Still,” she said.
He grabbed her waist, pressing her body flush against his. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”
She had thought about that moment since then.
“Tell me what you desire the most.”
What could she tell him? That she had been pining for him for so long she couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else? That she was jealous of even thinking about him with someone else? Will’s words played in her mind.
She leaned closer, murmuring against his ear. “Not until I know why you’re here, Tom.”
She left a kiss on his jaw, phantom lips brushing against his flawless skin.
“It’s a really uncomplicated answer,” he said, caressing her back.
“Explain it to me, then.”
Tender amusement tugged at the corners of his lips. “Do you really think I came here because I don’t own an owl?”
His words pulled at her heartstrings with raw delight and her mind went blank. Adrenaline was rushing through her as she listened to her impulses. It was enough, at least for now it was enough.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her hand in his hair, involuntarily tugging at the strands as she leaned closer. She could feel his warm breath as he pulled her in, gripping the silky fabric of her blouse.
She met his lips halfway, the burning touch consuming her as he pressed her against the shelves, one hand lost in her hair, the other splayed around her ribcage. 
She bit his lower lip, smiling as it elicited a groan from him and the kiss became more demanding.
It was a moment frozen in time, where she wanted to stay forever, like the scenery in a snowglobe.
“Hello?”
A man’s voice abruptly pulled them apart. She was breathless as she realised she had forgotten to lock the door. Was this a conspiracy? 
Tom was slightly panting and she left a small kiss on his neck.
“Don’t leave,” she whispered.
She used a finger to fix her smudged lipstick and went to see who had just dared to interrupt them.
There was a man standing in the office.
“We’re closed,” she said.
“But I saw the light on.”
There was a twitch in her jaw. “We are closed to the public. I must ask you to come tomorrow morning.”
He rolled his eyes and she ignored his grumbling as he left, locking the door behind him. When she went back, Tom was leaning against the table.
He turned his head towards her as she languidly got closer. She forgot pleasantries, immediately grabbing his face to kiss him again. He was quick to react, wrapping his arms around her.
His mouth trailed down, kissing her cheek, her jaw and then pressing against her neck, soft lips and the occasional scrape of his teeth. 
He grabbed her waist and spun her around, flattening her back against his chest and brushing her hair away from her neck to bite and lick her skin. His hands travelled down and he started gathering the fabric of her skirt. 
Merlin, it was finally happening. 
He caressed her inner thigh, tracing patterns and snapping the nylon of her stockings as his fingers moved excruciatingly slow.
Finally he pulled her underwear to the side, feeling the wetness between her folds with his fingers as his other hand cupped her breast.
She threw her head back against his shoulder as he stroked her clit, eliciting a sigh out of her, and she grabbed his thigh for support.
“I won’t drop you,” he murmured, amused, against her ear. He rubbed his palm over her clothed breast, the friction causing sparks to jolt through her body.
None of her fantasies came even close to what she was feeling right now.
“Should I trust you?” she asked, biting her lip to suppress a moan as he sunk one finger inside of her, his thumb still applying pressure on her clit.
“Such a great timing to ask me that,” he replied. She felt him smile on her skin.
“We don’t really know each other, Tom.” She dug her fingers into his flesh as he slipped in a second finger and started fingering her, stretching her as pleasure morphed her features. 
“And yet you are letting me do this.” He squeezed her breast, lewd wet sounds filling the room as he kept moving his fingers inside of her. 
She leaned her body weight completely on him, her legs unsteady as it was precarious the beating of her heart. 
He let out a low moan as she yanked his hair to catch his mouth, biting his lip hard to gain better access, their tongues tangling together.
He curled his fingers inside of her, an unrelenting wave of pleasure washing over her.
She stopped to imagine what it would be like if he dropped to his knees again, if he started kissing and licking her, if she could watch him at her mercy between her legs.
She realised in that moment that the fall down the precipice was inevitable. Tom had threatened to push her but she had allowed him to succeed, jumping into an abyss that felt unending but that could only allow two conclusions to her story.
What she had told Will was true. She loved the fantasy, all the glances, conversations, gestures that had never happened, that she had delighted herself with when the reality was harsher, but as she kissed him she knew that falling for the real Tom was unavoidable. Not if he kept touching her like that.
It was bound to happen, it was part of her story, the decision she was brave enough to take.
She focused on him, on the circles his thumb was drawing on her clit, on the indecent sounds falling from her lips, on his groans on her reddened skin, on him growing harder against her back. 
He pulled her hair back, tilting her head to meet her gaze. His eyes glimmered with rapture while hers were heavy-lidded, tension building inside of her. 
He didn’t take his eyes off of her, as if he wanted to memorise each detail of her, the way she looked at him, the way her lips parted slightly and the way she panted as she was nearing her orgasm.
“Just like that, darling,” he murmured, a pleased smile on his lips as he noticed she was still blushing.
She threw her head back, losing herself in the motion of his fingers, surrendering herself as blissed moans spilled out shamelessly. She squeezed his soaked fingers, and he kept moving, stroking her throughout her climax.
She panted, coming down from her apex in a flurry of emotions and flustered thoughts. He raised his wet fingers to her lips and she opened her mouth, tasting herself on her tongue as she sucked on them, never breaking eye contact.
“Good girl,” he said, holding her jaw and kissing her.
It was a slow kiss, meant to explore her depths in a different way from the breathless and unrestrained passion from before. She leaned into his palm, her hand closing around his wrist.
His arms snaked around her waist and he turned them around, pushing under her thighs to lift her on the table.
The kiss transformed again.
Teeth and tongues met with vehemence, burning urgency guiding their movements as he brought her legs around his waist and she quickly started to unbutton her blouse.
But at the third button, she stopped. 
Tom noticed the shift in her demeanour and drew back, observing her. Her eyes flew to the clock, as she had just remembered about Will.
She noticed with disappointment that they had no time.
“What is it?” he asked. She didn’t miss the urgent tone of his question.
“Will will be back any time now,” she replied, leaving a peck on his lips. 
He cleared his throat and stepped back, composing himself. She got off the table and
cool hands unexpectedly reached her again, adjusting her clothes and stockings. She shivered at the contact.
He smoothed her skirt and put his coat back on, watching her as she scribbled something on a piece of paper and gave it to him.
“If you want to stop by one of these days.”
“I remember where you live,” he replied, reading the address she had written down.
She shrugged, holding out one finger to wipe away the lipstick at the corner of his mouth.
“Do you have to go back to work?”
“I was supposed to meet with a potential supplier, so yes.”
“I’d stop by the bathroom before,” she advised, gesturing for him to go as she herself needed to compose herself again.
She braced herself against the threshold, leaning her head on the hard wood as she watched him unlock the door and leave. 
Then she was alone, finally finding an answer in the cluster of hypotheses that had tormented her mind.
Two days later, as she was returning from her meeting with Serena, she found Tom waiting for her.
He was talking to Will and they both turned to her as she entered, feeling tremendously self-conscious.
“How is Serena?” Will asked.
“Dim-witted as always,” she replied, earning a laugh from Will.
Her eyes trailed to Riddle, holding an unspoken question. 
Will seemed to notice because he stepped forwards.
“It’s quite late, you can go if you want, I’ll close.”
Tom didn’t wait for him to repeat himself, pushing down the handle and holding the door open for her.
She mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and followed Tom outside. Once in the street, she huddled herself in her coat and took the arm he was offering her. 
“May I walk you home?” he asked.
“Of course,” she said, a little breathy, still not immune to the chivalrous manners he always had with her.
They strolled through the streets, passing by scarcer and scarcer people as the stores emptied and everyone returned home seeking a tranquil evening.
She held his arm tightly, her fingers tracing delicate patterns on the fabric of his coat.
The first time they had walked together it had felt like an accident, a singular mistake in the already waved threads of her life. This time, she yearned for so much more than she wanted for the error to repeat itself; she was willing to cut the strings herself and tie them back together, as messy as it might have looked. 
They crossed the road and he gently put a hand on her waist, pushing her away from the pavement. 
“Would you fancy dinner?” he asked. There was a foreign quality in his voice and when she turned to look at him, he averted his eyes. She blinked bewildered. Was he nervous?
“I’d love to,” she replied and she noticed his chest rising like he had just begun breathing again. “But not tonight.”
An almost imperceptible smile cleared his expression at her answer and she leaned her head on his shoulder, basking in his mere presence.
When they reached her front door, she looked for her keys with embarrassingly clammy hands. 
As she lifted her head to ask Tom if he wanted to stay, she found his eyes impatiently boring into her bag. 
“Would you-”
His gaze snapped to her, serious and scorching. “Don’t even ask.”
Something coiled between her legs at the way he was looking at her. She nodded and walked up the few stairs to her door, unlocking it.
“Second floor,” she said, more to fill the silence than anything else.
They stepped into the building, the sound of her heels and the soles of his shoes hitting the stone ricocheting through the empty hall.
She turned to gesture to him to follow her when he grabbed her face, kissing her as he pushed her against the wall by the foot of the stairs. Her hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it just as she suspected he loved by the way he always pressed himself harder against her. 
He curved his palm around her cheek, better angling her face as their tongues met.
“I have a nosy neighbour,” she said after they pulled apart to catch their breath. “She is probably spying on us through her peephole.”
Tom didn’t think twice about it, taking her hand and leading her up to the second floor. She stifled a laugh as she unlocked the door, Tom’s lips skimming against her neck as she did, and was left breathless when he closed it unceremoniously behind them, resuming from where they had been interrupted.
As she dropped her bag and grabbed his waist, walking backwards into her living room, she remembered there were clothes somewhere - perhaps in the bathroom but she wasn’t sure - that she had forgotten to put away yesterday.
In any case, Tom didn’t look particularly interested in how tidy she was.
They quickly took off each other's coats and discarded them on the floor.
He sat on her sofa, pulling her down with him.
She was straddling him, her knees digging into the plush cushions as his hands appreciatively caressed her back, moving up and down and occasionally squeezing. She lit the fireplace with a wave of her hand.
She rocked her hips, rubbing against him and eliciting a long awaited moan from him. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, their lips collading so hard she was sure she cut him.
She helped him out of his jacket and vest and undid his tie, smoothing her hands on his white button-down.
“I’ve waited too long,” she said, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and grinding against him. Her hands disappeared under his undershirt and ran over his pale chest, lightly scratching his skin.
“Slowly, my dear. We will get there,” he replied between kisses.
His palms kept tracing her thighs and his face buried in her neck, nibbling at the thin skin.
When she was a small girl, before she discovered sex, Tom Riddle was just a boy she liked. During puberty, sharing stories and questions with her friends, she started to understand what was the sensation that passed through her everytime she was close to him, the one that made her cheeks redden and her mind go somewhere she wasn’t yet comfortable with.
As an adult, sexual relations weren’t unfamiliar to her, but this carnal longing, the need of a physicality that went beyond her skin touching his, was.
He opened her blouse, revealing her silk slip and bra underneath.
She wanted to touch his soul, to hold it and comprehend it.
Her eyes fell on the tattoo on his forearm, black tendrils of ink in the shape of a serpent slithering out of a skull.
“Does this have a meaning?” she asked.
He followed her gaze, blinking surprised at her question. “It does.”
“Am I prying too much if I say I’m curious to learn it?”
He bit his lip, opening and closing his fist as if he was scrambling for words. Or perhaps he was just determining if he could trust her.
“It’s a reinterpretation of the ouroboros, the snake eating its own tail,” he finally said. “It symbolises eternity and the renewal of the being after rebirth.”
She traced her fingers on his skin, following the outline of the snake. “And what does your interpretation mean?”
“There is time to talk about it later,” he whispered, his teeth biting her neck and sinking lower, kissing her collarbone and her sternum, moving the fabric covering her breasts to the side.
She let go of the subject. She knew what it meant not being comfortable sharing your life.
He held one breast between his fingers, latching his mouth over the other, sucking her nipple and twirling his tongue around it.
She moaned, rolling her hips faster as he revered her bosom, the cold air hitting her moist skin and making her shiver as he took her other nipple in his mouth, lightly tugging at it until she reached the point where pleasure and discomfort mixed.
“Since we are in the mood for confessions…” she said between moans. He raised his head and looked at her waiting for her to continue. She hesitated, collecting all her courage.
“Why did you pursue me?”
His eyes softened, glimmering with fondness. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
“Because there is something extremely valuable in your devotion.” His voice was an intimate murmur, a confession no one else could hear.
She freezed, turning her head to the side to hide her mortification.
He took her chin, searching for her eyes until she finally gave in.
“Don’t be embarrassed, darling, I respect it, I understand it. Obsession keeps us alive, it’s what drives us.”
She swallowed the lump of embarrassment in her throat. “Do you enjoy it?”
“Being the object of the desire of such a woman? Of a witch? I do,” he replied, and he was so direct and earnest that her heart swelled.
He lifted her to sit on the sofa, sliding down on his knees on the floor and taking off his shirt and vest. She remained silent as he rolled down her tights, his lips gliding down her smooth skin. He unbuttoned her skirt and helped her out of it, tracing patterns on her inner thigh as his other hand felt her damp underwear.
She tensed, something tightening in her lower abdomen and her eyes fell down to his trousers.
He kissed the crease of the thigh, like he had done that one time at Borgin and Burkes, but this time she wasn’t letting anyone interrupt them. 
He took off her underwear, his movements deliberately slow, and kissed her everywhere, except there.
His lips felt hot on her skin, searing her flesh like she had often dreamed about, carving his way into her body the same way he had done with her mind and heart, until her entire soul was consumed by him, until he could finally close that fist and feel her in a way nobody had before. 
Her breath hitched as he delicately kissed her mound, spreading her legs apart. She leaned her head against the backrest, licking her lips with anticipation, and she couldn’t contain a whimper as he felt his tongue dragging down her slit, sweet and cruel.
He took her clit in his mouth, sucking on it as his hand splayed on her abdomen to keep her still.
She squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed.
“Look at me, darling,” he murmured against her folds. His breath was warm and pleasant.
She obliged, meeting his devilish grinning figure between her legs. She was incapable of looking away as he resumed his work, she didn’t want to look away. She wanted to watch him, finally allowing herself to fully indulge in him, in what he wished to do for her.
She observed his curved eyelashes, the way his perceptive eyes followed her reactions, refining his movements to please her better.
He sucked her labia and she moaned loudly, the idea of him enjoying this as much as her being exhilarating.
He threw her leg on his shoulder, resulting in her figure sliding down the cushions and him gaining better access to her. 
His tongue probed her entrance as he coated his fingers in her wetness. He slipped one finger in, working her thoroughly as she gripped his hair, keeping his head in place.
He inserted a second finger, his tongue on her clit moving accordingly to the delighted sounds she emitted.
“Tom,” she cried urgently as she tried to press herself harder against him.
He curled his fingers inside of her and her hips jolted upwards, arching her back to an uncomfortable angle as she reached her orgasm with lascivious bliss, her obscene moans matching the wet sounds he produced by licking her until she came down from her climax.
“Tom,” she said again, so breathless her voice was a raspy whisper.
“I know,” he said, kissing her leg and inhaling deeply, like he was trying to commit the moment to memory.
He brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean as she let her watch.
She gently pushed him onto the carpet, bracing her hands on his shoulder as she sat on top of him. The fire was burning, enveloping their almost naked figures in warm orange light, heating their already scalding skin.
She took off her blouse with quivery hands, his gaze tracing her naked form that was slowly revealing itself. She hooked her fingers into the straps of her slip, pulling it down and then getting rid of it altogether. His hands on her waist tensed as she did the same for her bra.
Her lips parted as he touched her breast with both hands, kneading the soft flesh, tracing her areolae. 
She undid his trousers, pulling down the fabric until they were both completely naked. She took him in her hand, her fingers closing tentatively around him. Her hand started sliding up and down, her pace getting quicker and more confident as moans escaped him. She brushed her thumb on his tip, her eyes admiring what was in front of her. His lips were swollen, residue of her lipstick still on them, his hair was tousled, curls falling disorderly on his forehead, his eyes heavy-lidded as he looked at her. She felt a rush of satisfaction in knowing his current state was her doing, that she had enough power over him to ruin his flawless exterior, to make him want her to do it. 
His lips caught hers and he gently pushed her hand away. 
What happened after felt like rehearsed choreography, something so familiar it was impossible to forget. Their bodies moved together, their movements responsive to each other, doing and touching exactly where it mattered.
She pushed herself up on her knees, slowly lowering herself until she sank down on him completely, shuddering breaths escaping her lips.
His jaw was tense as she placed a hand on his shoulder for support, positioning herself better.
She didn’t break eye contact as she rolled her hips, soaking in the hazy blue of his eyes, in every twitch of his jaw and emotion he was feeling as she increased her pace, in his voice murmuring her name against her ear as his hands squeezed her tights and traced her back.
Skin slapped against skin, his touch inebriating as he felt every part of her, caressing her, massaging her, kissing her until she couldn’t take it anymore. Almost.
His hand dipped between her legs again, stroking her clit as she rocked her hips, eliciting groans from both of them.
Sentiment and pleasure fused together in an exhilarating moment, seared in her mind and flesh forever.
She kissed him again - she could never get tired of that - and bit his lower lip roughly as his other hand went to her breast again, pulling at her nipple. 
She threw her head back, letting his mouth scrape over her neck and chest, leaving behind scorching wet kisses. Or perhaps those were marks reddening her skin, she didn’t particularly care.
He gripped her waist, thrusting upwards as she held onto him tighter. Her nails drew half-moons into his back and she bit his neck, the fibres of the carpet scratching her knees.
The lights in the flat fluttered momentarily.
His fingers increased the pressure on her clit as his thrusts grew in intensity with one purpose in mind. 
She bit her lip, trying to hold back, to prolong this instant of pure bliss before she inevitably plummeted onto the other side.
She arched her back, moving accordingly to his rhythm, her hips bucking erratic as she rubbed against his pelvis. 
And then she fell down, unrestrained, her walls closing around him as she moaned uncontrollably. He didn’t stop, drawing circles on her sensitive skin until her breath found a semblance of steadiness again. 
“You did so good,” he whispered against her forehead, brushing a strand of sweaty hair away.
She slumped against him, her hands grabbing onto his biceps as he chased his own pleasure, his movements turning frantic, losing his rhythm.
She found herself murmuring against his skin the same things she had never had the courage to say out loud, not even to herself. She wasn’t sure he was even listening to her, engrossed as he was, but it didn’t matter.
He squeezed her tights once and she understood, rolling to the side as he deftly touched himself, fast strokes that culminated in white spurts all over his hand. She watched him mesmerised
He turned to look at her, his chest rising and falling rapidly. The fire casted shadows on his gorgeous face. 
They stayed like that for a long moment, gazing into each other, trying to guess what the other was thinking, making sense of what remained of themselves after what had just happened.
Did it have the same momentous effect on both of them? Or was it just her that knew she couldn’t go back to being acquaintances after this?
“Do you want to stay here tonight?” she asked. Her voice sounded faint and husky to her own ears.
“I do,” he replied without a second of hesitation.
They didn’t get up, instead resting against the foot of her sofa. She curled up against him as his hand traced indistinct patterns on her skin, remaining in this haze of indiscernible unspoken feelings they were both still trying to find a name for. 
When she woke up the next morning he was gone. As she took in the cold sheets and missing clothes, her heart threatened to crack.
She got up groggily, conclusions already forming in her mind, building the most pessimistic of pictures.
She felt anxious as she wore her robe and opened the door, heading straight for the bathroom. Halfway down the corridor, the sound of someone flipping through a newspaper halted her in her steps.
She stepped into the kitchen, finding Tom sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” she said back, adjusting the belt of her robe. 
She noticed he had made breakfast, a steaming coffee pot, kept warm by magic, and some pastries she had never bought waiting for her on the table. 
She turned to take a mug from a cabinet so that she could hide her smitten smile. When she closed the cabinet, she found him looking at her.
There was no need for words.
“Where did you get that?” she asked as she poured herself some coffee, referring to the newspaper. 
“I stole it from your neighbour, I hope she won’t mind.”
She laughed. “So you know how to make a joke.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She sat next to him, crossing her legs. She perhaps needed to rethink her choice of slippers.
“You were always so serious growing up.”
She put a spoonful of sugar in her coffee. 
“That never seemed to deter you.”
“It doesn’t.”
He took a sip of his own coffee. “Good.”
“Does it deter you, knowing how I feel?”
He blinked. “It never had. It makes it more interesting if I have to be honest.”
She blushed, scared to ask the next question.
“How long have you known?”
He got up, brushing his knuckles on her cheek.
“Long enough to see you for who you truly are.” 
He bent to give her a chaste kiss. “I should go, the shop opens in half an hour.”
He put on his coat and grabbed his leather gloves from his pocket. She turned in her chair, treasuring the last few moments of him in her apartment.
“There’s still a lot you haven’t learned yet.” 
She refused to be an open book to him. There was so much about her that was still incomprehensible even to her and too much she wanted to show him on her own terms. She wanted to be enigmatic, to drive him mad.
“I know.”
Her disappointment was visible on her face as she was met with his silence. She had wanted to continue that conversation, to learn what he had observed.
Instead he opened her front door, throwing her one last glance, heavy with unsaid intention she hoped she wasn’t imagining, before leaving. 
She had almost finished her breakfast when she noticed a small note under the newspaper he had left behind. She grabbed it faster than she was willing to admit, almost knocking over her cup in the process, and unfolded it.
“Dinner tonight?
I’ll pick you up at eight.
T.R.”
the last part is a bonus scene i wanted to write to apologize for my tardiness. tom is a little different, but I hope he isn't too out of character.
i honestly had so much fun writing this short story and exploring a different tom from the one i usually read and write about. i hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading!
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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year ago
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Random BL Superlatives: 2023
Well @lurkingshan did it, so I must do it. So here are some random, WKA themed superlatives for the 2023 BL selection.
Best Hands: Mhok and Day, Last Twilight
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gif by @singularities
Listen. I know. I KNOW. There are so many incredible options, and I have written at length about a number of them. I mean come on, La Pluie is right there, I Feel You Linger in the Air is right there, Sing My Crush, Moonlight Chicken etc. etc. etc. But
But, Last Twilight came in with the steel chair right at the end of the year here with that FUCKING HANDSING SCENE. Can you blame me? The handsing scene is shrimply too powerful.
Best Lighting: Playboyy
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You know, it's funny cause I don't usually end up writing about lighting in shows, despite the fact that lighting design is absolutely one of my favorite things in film, stage, and television. Chains of Heart has really interesting lighting too, but Playboyy is an objectively better show, and it is doing some absolutely gorgeous lighting design.
Best Sex Scene: Olive Oil, I Feel You Linger in the Air
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gif by @pharawee
THE OLIVE OIL SCENE, WHY ARE THERE NO GIFSETS OF THE OLIVE OIL SCENE? WHY IS TUMBLR SUCH A FUCKING HATER???? They didn't even fuck in that scene, but holy mother of GOD it was the best thing I've seen all year. I Feel You Linger in the Air has some of the most inventive and beautiful intimate moments, and spreading the olive oil as a stand in for arousal and masturbation was absolutely goddamn brilliant.
Best Faen (Non)Fatale: Porjai, Last Twilight
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gif from @khaopybara
I know Last Twilight hasn't finished yet and will take us in to 2024, but Porjai and Mohk's relationship is absolutely my favorite lovers to friends dynamic I have seen this year. I was showering praise upon them all for this in the tags of a reblog today, so I have to give it to them. Massive shout out and extremely close call to Nara from La Pluie.
Best Emotional Roller Coaster: What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2
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Ok there were quite a lot of shows that I think would have applied here, but man oh man this entire season has just run me through the wringer with how much Shiro has grown over the course of the last two seasons. Episode 11 had me laughing my ass off, and then absolutely sobbing by the end. So it's going to Kinou Nani Tabeta?
The Shirt I Want to Steal Most from Wardrobe: Blue and White Button Up, The Sign
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gif from @ohshinytrinketsmine
I know this will be contentious when the Fart Proudly shirt is right there, but I really loved the blue and white button up shirt that Phaya wore I do not know what is in the water at IdolFactory, but they have hands down some of the best shirts I have ever seen. When I watched Secret Crush on You I wanted the entirety of Sky's wardrobe, now I am having shirt envy for this sexy little blue-with-white-lines-that-are-vaguely-rabbit-shaped (wka do not write a post about rabbits, do not write a post about rabbits-) button up.
The Character Who Most Changed my Opinion of Them: Phupa, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS
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gif by @alexshenry (double PhupaPat whammy for @waitmyturtles)
Okay, so to tell you the truth, I made new superlatives cause if I took the superlatives from @lurkingshan's post it would have been at least half the same if not more (because as always, Shan is right about everything). But, I will put an overlap here because I absolutely could not let this year go by without applauding Aof, Earth, and Phupa for really putting in the work to help me understand this man better.
The Show That Most Surprised Me: Wedding Plan by MAME
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gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
Okay not only was this show that I absolutely was not planning to watch or initially interested in actually one of the best of the year, but it was also a MAME show. And a lot of us have our critiques of MAME's writing, but this was so outside of her typical MO that I am shocked it came from the same writer. Love Sailom, love a Lavender Wedding, love Nuea, love it all.
The Trope This Year That Most Accounted for the Fact These Are Gay MEN: Boxing! Sing My Crush, Wedding Plan, The Sign
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Sing My Crush did this the absolute best, but I really genuinely loved that multiple shows this year let men fight in controlled settings to get out some of their frustration and to process their feelings. Han Ba Ram crying in the gym? One of my favorite scenes of the entire year.
And yeah sure, Phaya and Tharn are fighting for the intricate rituals that allow men to touch the skin of men, we get the horny vibes, but fundamentally this fight does occur because Tharn is angsty and ignoring Phaya and that cannot stand. I like seeing Phaya sparring with the punching bag at the end of the most recent episode as well because he's fucking furious about Tharn telling the doctor about his dreams. I love it, I love it so much.
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do-you-ship-it-polls · 20 days ago
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Do you ship it?
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reason under the cut!
okay i have to get this out of the way first: - a common headcanon is that they are siblings. which. no, dont ship this if you think they are siblings, thats weird and gross. blegh. - i (submitter) do not believe this! they have a rivalry, yes, but they aren't siblings! made by the same creator, sure, but that's a constant theme throughout the game. made by god, and made by humanity. they have a more interesting dynamic as strangers! - below is a copy and pasted (and slightly edited for the sake of clarity) rant from a discord server !! when i posted about some of my art about them, a pal of mine asked what the source material was! so that is that rant.
OKAY ULTRAKILL !!!! blue guy (V1) was a machine built for A Big War before humanity fails!!! its the character you play as in the gayass bloodplay shooter game <33 hes made to destroy. the first think you know about her is her name, her objective (FIND A WEAPON) and where she is (APPROCHING HELL) and three things: - mankind is dead - blood is fuel - hell is full WHICH MEANS THAT THE ROBOT USES BLOOD AS FUEL!!!! she needs blood to live and she will use the souls of the damned to do that. anyways so she was an actual war robot in the Real Life!! V2 (red) on the otherhand was a robot made after the New Peace that humanity made before their final death. they were meant to promote peace and are awesome!!! i also love their battle mechanics... silly :) in 1-4, V1 fights V2!!! its very interesting because v2 bows before the battle, showing it is but a curtesy, or a show of power, but it;s not personal. it was never personal, before. after the battle, v1 takes v2's arm, knuckleblaster. LATER ON. 4-4. they fight again. v2 has a new arm, whiplash, and sits upon a throne, awaiting v1's arrival for once they get to their area of Greed. it's so personal now. they fight, and they kill. v2 dies fully, and v1 takes the arm again. parts of v2, engraved into their arms and beating into their code. its very interesting to meee!!! taking a part of your dont even get me STARTED on the contrast between the soundtrack and how the visuals of each level are so vastly different!!!!! dont even get me STARTEDDDD because clair de lune and claire de soleil comparisons. hakita you are a genius!!!!
plus, all the fan interpretations are also fun!! comics based around the gore of the thing. art made for the sake of understanding these two. thank you for your time. if you headcanon these two as siblings, good! vote for i dont ship it and leave me alone please! thank you :)
tag: @bright-honey
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chronically-ghosted · 1 year ago
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Little Monsters
rating: 18+ Explicit
pairing: dieter x f!reader
word count: 5K
summary: A phone call home to your family has you missing them desperately . . . especially your husband, who always knows exactly what you need.
warnings/tags: pregnancy, Dieter has children and is actually a really good dad, director!reader, 1st half is mind numbing tooth rotting FLUFF, 2nd half is straight filth and dieter has a nasty nasty mouth, masturbation, camera/phone sex, slight breeding kink, one single use of ‘Daddy’, if I had an ounce of shame left in me I would not have posted this
a/n: special shout outs go to @spookyxsam for showing me about how babies work and to @lunapascal and @mysterious-moonstruck-musings for talking me off the daddy dieter ledge. this is my first pregnancy fic and i do not know what came over me (she lied, knowing damn good and well what happened to her brain chemistry)
from @yoursoulsunbreakable 's request: Hello sweetie, congratulations on your milestone <3 Here's my request for the little drabble: 5. “Tell me what you would want to do, if you were here right now.” With our precious Dieter and smutty? Hope it'll inspire you 😘
🤍Masterlist
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“Tell me what you would want to do, if you were here right now.”
“Oh, Dieter, I’d – I’d –,”
“Yeah?”
You let out a burst of air from your lips, flopping back against the pillows. “I’d ask you for a foot rub,” you whine into the camera. 
He chuckles, the sound a bit garbled through the speakers. He leans forward into the camera, as if trying to see down your body, the angle of the phone against the hotel’s lamp not quite right. 
“Is Bravo Baby number three giving you trouble?” 
You eye your swelling feet over the steadily swelling bump. Well into your second trimester and the list of shoes in your closet you could still wear is shrinking rapidly. This also happened with your second child and when Dieter made one joke about keeping you barefoot in the kitchen, you nearly threw a butcher’s knife at his head. You stroke the left side of your stomach to preemptively soothe the little brat before they start wailing on that spot all night, sighing into your husband’s sympathetic, pixelated face. 
“They’ve been grouchy all day. Tom had to leave me in the car for a bit after we scouted a potential place for the exterior shots to finish taking pictures because somebody was having a grand old time wearing me out.” You narrow your eyes at him through the camera. “As if there was any doubt this was your child.” 
This is a constant inside joke between you. Your first kid, a girl, was a beautiful blend of both you and Dieter. His eyes, but your hair, your cheeks, and his nose. He also got to name her – said it came to him after he bought some chocolate and water at the hospital lounge –
“Zelle, Dieter, ‘Zelle’?? Like the money transaction service?” 
But you had been too zonked out on painkillers and endorphins to object (you thought it was beautiful at the time), and he signed the papers anyway. Neither of you had come up with a fitting name before then and he swears the instant he held his baby girl in his hands for the first time, it came to him, as if the stars rearranged themselves in the sky with that name. Incurably a romantic at heart – your husband – you found it sweet and also idiotic, but it was too late now. 
Your second one, Orion, had his name written down on a post-it note you carried in your purse for months and you made sure to show the nurse when you were admitted. Not that Dieter would intentionally go against the name you had agreed on if the baby was a boy, but there was a slim chance he’d get so caught up in the moment and, with watery eyes, tell the nurse to write something like Mars Bar on the birth certificate. 
And, for all that, Orion could have been a carbon copy of you.
The joke started when Dieter picked him up from his crib one night and brought that gurgling little mouth right up to his nose. “Are you sure you didn’t just spontaneously create this one? I don’t see a single hint of me in this little guy.” To which Orion giggled around a drool-damp fist and promptly bopped his father on the nose with it. 
“Are you saying you don’t remember what happened the night he was conceived?” You asked with a smirk over your shoulder as you returned some baby bibs to the drawer. 
Dieter snorted and slid Orion into the crook of his arm, those onesie-white feet seen kicking over his forearm. “Now Mommy is just being plain silly.”
That was five years ago and you couldn’t exactly deny you were excited for the smell of newborn to be all over your husband again. 
“I’ll be glad when we hit the last trimester,” he says, chin propped up on his wrist to stare down at you in his other palm, “so I can wave that doctor’s note in your face when you try to work too hard . . . like you are now.” 
You shift onto your side to face him, rolling your eyes. “You only like the third trimester for the sex hormones.” 
After spending most of your first pregnancy, and at least half of your second, trying to claw Dieter’s eyes out if he so much as breathed in your direction, he was delighted to find that by month seven, the hellcat who had taken over his wife’s body turned into a needy, whiny little kitten. 
Some of the best orgasms of his life come from those months, he swears up and down. 
“I’m not going to complain,” he grins, peering down at you from those prescription sunglasses. The Dieter you used to know wore them because he was constantly hungover; your husband wears them because he keeps accidentally misplacing his actual prescription glasses. “All I’m saying is you better be back in time so Daddy can play house with Mommy.” 
The shrill cry is heard through the phone, the closed bedroom door, and at least one hallway:
“Is Mommy on the phone?” 
Barely a second later, you watch over his shoulder as the door flings open and a wild blur of arms and legs dogpiles Dieter onto the bed. You hear him grunt, the camera flips up to the ceiling, as Zelle and Orion clamor for the phone. Chuckling to yourself, you take up the phone from the bedside table and hold it in your palm as you lean back against the pillows and your children’s faces flash over the small screen. 
“Mommy, I made a bug out of noodles and string today.”
“Mommy, I saw a cat that looked like a cow today.”
“Mommy, Daddy’s broccoli tasted funny - you cook it better!”
“Hey!” He lunges for Zelle’s little ankle and pulls her up around her waist as she giggles helplessly. 
You can barely see them, Orion’s pudgy little finger over most of the camera, Dieter’s hair and Zelle’s kicking feet visible only in flashes. 
“You better go help your sister, Orion!” 
Needing no other prompting, he drops the phone against the pillows and leaps onto his father, squealing at the noise Dieter makes. Where Orion got your looks, he had all of his father’s mannerism. You blinked twice when as a toddler Orion’s purposeful pout had looked so similar to his father’s, you wondered if they had practiced it together. Orion is ruthless when it comes to the tickle wars and immediately goes for Dieter’s neck. 
“Help!” he chokes, “I’m being overrun by tiny monsters!”
Zelle roars at his hip and Orion howls – he’d be a werewolf for Halloween a third year in a row if the tradition continued. Despite more frequent and loud protests about his poor back, Dieter lunges forward and yanks Zelle under his arm like she’s a football. He does the same to Orion and faceplants with both of them successfully pinned. It’s the oldest trick in the book and you muse what he’s going to do when they are too big to do that to anymore. But, as Dieter likes to say, one colossal nightmare at a time. 
“Peace treaty?” His voice is muffled by the blanket. 
“Stand and deliver,” they repeat, breathlessly and red faced. He lets them go and the two bodies barely move, grins still plastered to their faces. Cheeks pink, Dieter crawls over and snags the phone.
“See, darling?” he says between heavy breaths, “this parenting stuff is easy.” 
“Mommy, when are you coming home?” Zelle pops her head between Dieter and the phone, her cheek pink and her little hands pushing her hair off her face. 
“Yeah!” Orion pipes up, crawling over Dieter’s back, hooking his tiny hands over his father’s throat. Dieter’s eyes bug out for a moment before adjusting the five year old’s grip. “Are you done chasing the dragon?”
At that, Dieter snickers and you can’t glare with fire in your eyes like you’d like to so you plaster on an overly sweet smile on your face. 
“Rori, we asked you not to say that. It’s a stork, remember?” 
Orion frowns into Dieter’s curls. “But I want a baby brother or sister that comes from a dragon’s egg.” 
“Yeah, Mom, a dragon baby is way cooler than a stork baby.” 
Oh, you are going to kill him. 
This was another ongoing joke . . . for Dieter. Orion’s teacher called home one night after Orion proudly announced that his mommy was off chasing the dragon. Understandably concerned about the phrase, she called to make sure everything was alright, only to find out what he meant was that his mother was expecting a new baby and instead of a stork, his father told him that Mommy was going to find a dragon to put a new egg inside her tummy, and then the new baby would eventually pop out from the egg. 
This was something you had to relay through the phone to the teacher . . . because Dieter was curled up on the floor, laughing so hard he went mute, tears rolling down red cheeks. This had been his ‘stork’ story for Orion, and apparently unaware of just how impressionable a five-year-old is, told him that Mommy was chasing the dragon for a new egg. Dieter says his greatest regret in his life is that he wasn’t there to see the look on Orion’s teacher’s face. 
After that, you (and Dieter once he recovered) tried to alter the story enough so that he wouldn’t accidentally imply his mother was off on a drug binge, but evidently too much stuck. 
“I’m meeting with the dragon tomorrow, okay? I’m not chasing after anything. We’re having lunch. Right, Dad?”
“Absolutely.” He nods seriously at Orion and kisses that fat little cheek. 
“When is the dragon gonna give you the egg with my baby sister in it?” Zelle asks, matching Dieter on her stomach. Dieter’s confidence manifested perfectly in his daughter; you and him had told her many times that the baby might be a little brother, but she just stuck her nose in the air. “I know it’s a sister,” she said, with a characteristic roll of her eyes. 
“A couple more months, baby,” you smile, unconsciously rubbing at your stomach again. Baby Bravo is suspiciously quiet. Not soon enough. “But I’ll be home tomorrow, but you two have to be good for Dad until then, okay?” 
Orion nods from Dieter’s shoulder, but Zelle smirks up at her father in a way that is well beyond her six years.
“I promise to eat all of Daddy’s nasty broccoli!”
Dieter’s own impish nature, thrown right back at him. The one solace you found is that your husband might have finally met his match. 
He grabs her, flips her on her back, and blows a strawberry on her tummy as she shrieks with glee. 
“Alright – that’s it – it’s bath time for all naughty monsters!” He hikes Orion over his shoulder and picks up Zelle by her waist. He glances back over at you, his eyes bright and a giant smile on his face. 
You swear every time you see Orion, there’s less and less baby in his pudgy face, his little hands. Zelle is constantly saying and doing things that surprises you with the depth of their awareness and you know it doesn’t all come from you or Dieter. 
Your heart actually aches from missing them so much. 
“Monsters, say goodnight to Queen Monster–,” more yelling, roaring, “I’ll call you later tonight, okay, baby?” 
You nod, your eyes suddenly hot and tight. “O-okay – love you all.”
“LOVE YOU!” The three-headed monster yells in unison as it lumbers out of the bedroom.
You end the call, just before the tears spill. Again on your back, you stare at the ceiling feeling incredibly sorry for yourself when the baby rolls over and kicks you in the ribs. 
Hey, I’m here too!
You laugh, a little watery, and you wipe your eyes with your palms. Just get through tonight and you’re home. 
“Okay, okay, I’m up. Let’s get ready for bed, would you like that?”
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It’s late. You know you should be asleep already, but the shower had taken longer than expected. The phone call with your husband and children lingered in your mind when you turned on the water and stripped down. Your heart was so full to see Orion’s pout and Zelle’s mischievous grin, especially after such a long day on your feet and for all his teasing, Dieter’s own ease and confidence as a father, as well as a husband, left you feeling . . . warm. In fact, your mind’s eye lingers on him in the memory of the call: his beautiful, rich curls – those square black glasses that made him look annoyingly mysterious and so goddamn hot – his biceps flexing as he throws around his children with ease, his shoulders broad and straining against his shirt — his bulging forearm making his triangle tattoo pop – his wedding ring that replaced all the other rings –
The good news is the baby was almost here. The bad news is that you’re suddenly irrationally horny and your all-too-eager husband was a plane ride away. 
Entirely naked besides the white hotel robe around your shoulders, you sternly ignore the plush tingling between your legs and try to focus on rubbing in lotion into your legs, your hips, over the old and new stretch marks over your stomach. Your fingers rub underneath the curve of your stomach and accidentally brush the damp curls, sending tiny shock waves up your pelvis. You gasp lowly, freezing, eyes tightly shut, fighting back that wave of arousal. 
Goddamn it. 
At first you think the ringing is between your ears, your blood rushing hard and fast, and then you realize it’s actually your phone going off.
Daddy Dieter, the screen reads.
You frown at the clock – if it’s late for you, then it’s very late for him. When he said he’d call you later, you didn’t think he meant literally later tonight. Still frowning, you put down the bottle of lotion and answer the phone.
“Dieter?” 
“Hey, baby. How’s your night?” 
He pulls back the phone and your mouth flushes with spit. He’s shirtless, sunglasses replaced with his actual glasses, that silver earring glinting in the low light. In the center of your bed, he’s propped up on several pillows with his arm tucked behind his head. He has thickened over the years, his chest and shoulders taking on a new weight as if he physically grew into fatherhood — and God, if his bicep was bulging before –
“Dieter –,” your voice is hoarse at first and you have to clear your throat to get anything out of your mouth that isn’t a whine. “Dieter, what are you doing up?”
He shrugs like he’s just been bored at home. “Bath time was easy. Orion wanted just one story and Zelle didn’t put up a fight when I told her it was bedtime and she had to put away the crayons.” 
You narrow your eyes. “Did you slip them Benadryl?” 
“Wow! No! Did you ever think that maybe I’m just that good of a dad?” He scoffs, mildly offended. And then he smirks. “I told them you’d come home sooner if they were good.”
“Ah, the old Santa Claus trick.” You nod sagely and sit down on the edge of the bed, the movement tugging the robe slightly. “Always a classic.”
“Yeah, I –,” Dieter’s eyes widen, edges going dark. “Are you naked?” 
You swallow, his sudden shift in tone causing your thighs to clench. You cross your legs as tightly as your belly will allow, your chin held high.
“I’m in a robe, Dieter. Took a long shower.”
His eyes glitter with interest, the tip of his tongue running on the edge of his bottom lip. “How long?”  
Feeling hot and swollen for months now, you flush pink, an overripe peach beneath the slightest pressure of his thumb. 
“Dieter–,” it’s a whine but you shake your head. “Please don’t tease. I’m so . . . sensitive right now, and I won’t be home until tomorrow and–,”
“Baby, baby, breathe. I know it hurts.” He sits up, his eyes big and dark. “I remember how wet you get around now.”
Your cunt drools onto the robe below you, thighs sticky, his words ringing in your ears. 
“Dieter, don’t –,”
“I know I can’t help you but what if I showed you how to help yourself?” 
You whimper, arousal now hot and warm in the pit of your stomach. The strength of it makes your pelvis ache. You know it won’t be the same as him, but his voice, it might be enough. You nod, your heart pounding, hand holding the phone shaking. 
“Then lie back, baby.” Dieter purrs and it’s almost like he’s pushing you back with his hands. You shift up the bed, careful to not step on your robe with your heels as you center yourself in the covers. But Dieter’s moving, off the bed, and he’s adjusting something behind his phone.
The baby inside you can feel your heartbeat racing and they turn, uneasy. You soothe them with small circles just above your hips, your lips between your teeth. But that touch on your skin, the look in Dieter’s eyes, you brush lower on your skin and immediately you shudder. 
“Baby, please, hurry, whatever you’re doing, hurry –,” 
You drop your fingers over your thighs, curling and uncurling, drawing imaginary lines like he does in the mornings against your shoulders and back. 
“Just a second, sorry, almost got it.”
Then he steps back, the phone hovering in the air. Dieter sits on the bed and the camera holds the entire bed in view. Dieter is nothing if not a performer, bringing a tripod into the bedroom when he knows you need him the most. He’s so fucking hot.
“Can you see me, baby?” 
You nod stiffly. “How do you want me?” 
“Whatever way is comfortable,” he smiles and it’s almost as hot as his smirk. Fuck, he loves you so much. You slide the robe off your shoulders, exposing the tops of your breasts as best you can and still keeping your phone up. “Perfect, baby, that’s perfect.” 
Your hand drops to your thigh again, dragging your nails up under the swell of your belly and you twitch. 
“T-tell me what you would want to do,” you begin, your voice shaking, arousal smooth as it licks up your spine, “if you were here right now.” You feel warm all over, the sheets cool against your calves. 
This far away, you can’t see his eyes clear enough to watch them darken entirely, but his low grunt is enough. It’s time for him to perform for his pregnant and insatiable wife. 
He slips his glasses off and tosses them onto the bedside table, where they land with a clatter. You can’t even think of scolding him when he lifts his hips and yanks his gray sweatpants down his knees, then to the floor. He’s half-hard as he shuffles back to the pillows, nearly in the same position you are. You shift to match him entirely, needing the immersion to be total and complete. You’d cry if he could actually touch you.
“Are you comfortable?”
You nod again. But Dieter shakes his head, his fingers digging into his thighs. “I can’t see you this far away, baby. I need you to say it. Talk to me.”
He was usually the one vocal enough for both of you, any coherent language impossible with the mess he makes out of you. You can’t imagine what you’re going to sound like, not when you’re this needy and desperate already.
“O-okay, Dieter, I’ll try.” 
“Good girl.” You whimper again, trying to restrain from touching yourself before he tells you to. But you’re throbbing, the heat blooming from your cunt rushing to the rest of your body, the baby in you restless. As if mother and child can only be soothed by their father. “Now, breathe, darling, you’re flushed.” 
You inhale, the air notching on every bone in your spine, and exhale, your lungs shuddering, eyes shut. “Dieter, please, tell me what you’d –,” 
“I’d touch your thighs,” he says with such immediacy, your eyes spring open. He’s got the knee farthest from you bent up, as if putting himself on display, turning his hips towards the camera slightly. His other leg is stretched out long beside him and his left hand strokes his cock. Hair and shoulders backlit from the far lamp, the image of him like this alone — just for you — has your cunt clenching, a moan spilling from your lips. “Touch your thighs, baby.”
You can’t grab as much skin as he does, but you try. You lift your knees, and massage the backs of your thighs, then up to your knees, and back down. You can almost feel his breath on your calves and you shudder. “What else? W-where else?” 
“I’ve been thinking about your tits for days,” he groans, the sound strangled, his cock now fully-hard and red. He cups himself, twisting as slow as he can take it. “Tell me what your tits feel like.” 
“Sensitive,” you gasp as you draw two fingers across your nipple and squeeze gently. Dieter only uses his mouth now on them, so you wet them with yours and return them to your swollen bud, slowly twisting and pulling. 
He’s watching you through the camera, eyes wide, breath sharp when you suck your fingers into your mouth. “Fuck, yeah, that’s right. Get them wet. What are you thinking about?”
“You. Your lips around my nipple, under my breast. Your teeth. They’re so heavy, Dieter.” 
His hips jerk under his hand, his fingers moving faster now. You can’t quite hear what he’s muttering, but you catch weak mumblings, “gonna feed our baby”, “yeah, your tits”, the baby” —
“Dieter, please–,” 
“Touch yourself with your fingers wet from your mouth. T-t-tell me what it feels like.”
With a relieved cry, you slide your hand down from your tits, over the swell of your belly, and in between your thighs. Wetness clings to the curls, to the curve of your ass, your body so ready to take him, and it locks up when you slip a finger inside.
“So wet. Warm. How many fingers can I put in?”
“One, but – can you already do two?”
You nod, the huff arching into a whine. “Yeah, baby. You have no idea how wet I am. I can slip in two with no resistance.”
“Jesus,” he pants and slows down, his hips rocking of their own accord. “You’ve got me so hard.” 
You curl your fingers inside of you, searching for that spot made and found and praised by him. Your folds plump and achy, you twist your wrist, scissor your fingers, but it’s not the same. It’s not the same as his three fingers plugging you up, readying you to take so much of him, it’s enough to ease the sharp ache for a bit. You moan, fucking yourself more. He hears it, sees it, and grunts. 
“You can come wherever you want, baby,” he murmurs, his own hand hesitant to match your speed. He tugs on his balls and his toes curl, his neck long and tense. “Fuck, I need your hands.”
“Me too,” you sob, real tears pricking the corners of your eyes. It feels good but it’s not the relief you need. It’s pathetic but you don’t want to stop. You can’t get in deep enough, even if you could get around your big belly. “Dieter, I can’t reach. It’s – I’m –,”
“Breathe, love, it’s okay.” His voice is soothing, calming. The same one he uses when you’re in labor and the sweet honey warmth of it sinks into your bones, easing the panic. You slow, gasping, tears pooling down your temple. Your orgasm is harsh, sunken in the dark, waiting for you to draw it out.
“What can you reach?”
“My clit.” 
“Then touch that. Can I see?”
You nod, angle the phone down as you rub that electric nub. 
“Oh, fuck, baby. I know it’s frustrating and I know it hurts, but you look so fucking good. So wet for me. Your pussy is perfect, pink, just how I like her.”
“Yeah?” you spin your fingers faster. That hot arousal returns steadily, melting back the resentment towards your own body the longer he praises. 
“Oh yeah.” You can hear the slap of skin on the other end of the phone and you can picture Dieter flat on his back jerking himself off to your pulsating cunt and you moan, loudly, tension evaporating from your body. “How do you feel?”
“Good. Tight. I just need a bit more.” 
“Me too. Let me see your face, pretty girl.” You turn the camera and gape at the sight on the screen. 
Precum drips out of his now-purple cock, his chest flushed and neck sweaty. He’s twirling the head around with his thumb at the pace you’ve set with your fingers against your clit. 
“Look at what you’ve done to me. You’re so fucking gorgeous. Can’t wait for you to be home so I can eat you out for hours.” 
“I want your cock in me, Dieter,” you gasp, furiously rubbing on your clit, sending wave after wave of pleasure coursing through you. Your cunt clenches in time with your thudding heartbeat. “You’re so thick. I wanna feel the stretch.”
“Oh, I’m gonna fuck you hard.” The confession is a low snarl, a promise made between the ridges of his teeth. He fucks his fist faster, the noise over his labored breathing obscene. “Gonna put your hands on the headboard, your pussy in my lap and I’m gonna fuck up into you until I fill you full again. Wanna make you pregnant twice.” 
Arousal floods your veins, your thighs a gooey mess. You toss your head back, back arching, and you moan as loud as you can. 
“Oh– shit, oh, oh, shit–,”
“You’re gonna leak all over my thighs and when you’re done coming so hard you can’t see straight, I’m gonna lick it up all off you, my wife. Mine. My baby. Mine. Fuck, you look so good full of me.”
He’s never this possessive, never angry that he can’t have you but he sounds livid. He fucks his fist, his hips bucking into nothing, his other hand squeezing his thigh so hard his knuckles go white. 
You circle your clit one more time and finally — your orgasm crests, your body locking up, your cunt gushing – and it leaves your mouth before you can stop it –
“Oh, Daddy–,”
You hear him gasp as if electrocuted, and you have to drop your phone to steady yourself as the weight of white-hot pleasure explodes across your body. You rock, breath gone from your lungs, mouth open in a silent scream, and everything slams back into you and you gasp, high and loud, every inch of your skin hot and trembling. You don’t realize you’re sweating until you feel it drip off your neck.  
All you can hear is Dieter panting from your phone amongst the covers, the sound muffled. Your eyes flutter as the warm waves languish, then curl, and finally, you sigh as the last waves drain out of your body. If you weren’t lying down you’re sure you’d be dizzy.
“Oh my god,” you mutter breathlessly to no one in particular.
“B-baby, you still there?”
You blindly feel around for your phone, arm so weak it’s trembling as you pull the camera towards your face
Dieter looks about as fucked out as you feel. Cock limp and still dribbling, his stomach and chest are covered in cum. He pushes his damp hair off his forehead, eyes wide and staring at the ceiling. 
“Holy shit, baby, that was …”
“Yeah,” you nod, swallowing your dry tongue, wishing again he was here so he could get you a glass of water. “I hope that wasn’t all of it because I really want you to say all of those things again tomorrow when you’re inside me.”
He groans and adjusts his limp cock. “You say that now but wait until Baby Bravo kicks you in the kidneys. You’ll be feeling a lot less generous towards this,” he gestures aimlessly to his naked body, “then.”
You chuckle. “Let’s just hope for the best. Besides,” you say, groaning a bit as you sit up to wipe the sweat off your neck with the robe, “I’m pretty sure I can have you eating out of the palm of my hand. Now that I know your secret . . . Daddy.” 
Dieter groans as you laugh. He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t be so surprised by now when you make me discover new kinks.” 
“Mhmm hmm.” 
He rolls his eyes as he gets up and picks the phone off the tripod. Holding the phone to his face, he wipes the cum off with his sweatpants before turning his attention back to you.
“How are you? Feel better?”
“Much better.” You stretch and lean back in the bed. If he was here, you’d probably be asking to eat you out, but at least the knife’s edge of desire has dulled. You can at least wait until nap time to jump your husband’s bones. 
“Good,” Dieter sighs, satisfied. “I’ll be there to pick you up from the airport tomorrow, okay?”
He always gets like this the nearer the due date comes, as if he can’t stand to see you lift a finger unnecessarily. You smile and nod, never wanting it to be any other way. 
“I’ll text you when I land.”
“Okay. Good night, my biggest love. I love you, so much.” 
“I love you too, Dieter.” Goddamn hormones, making you cry again. 
“Now lemme say goodbye to our little traveler.”
You wipe your eyes with your thumb as you tilt the phone to your swollen belly. 
“Good night, Baby Bravo. Can’t wait to have you around.”
And, at the sound of their father’s voice, they stir. Not kick or hurt. Just a tiny foot against your tight skin.
You are officially crying now. 
“They said hi, didn’t they?”
You’re nodding, crying, and he can’t see a damn thing. “Yeah,” you say quietly. “They said good night, Dad.”
He’s patient with you as you wipe your eyes, cheeks flushed again. 
“Baby, don’t cry, you’re breaking my heart.”
“You’re just a really good dad. And I’m so lucky,” you blubber. “This is it! I’m never leaving to go scouting again. I can’t take it.” 
“Mhmm. Let’s revisit that when you’re about two months postpartum and clawing at the walls.”
You laugh with him, your own sticky and goopy. “Fine.”
“Go to bed, love, and for the record, I’m the lucky one. Don’t forget that. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night.” You blow a kiss and he catches it. You roll your eyes. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
You stay like that for a bit, cradled by the pillows, and your phone on your chest, thinking about everything from Dieter to the next school picture day, to the next family vacation, and of course, the zillion things you have to get done with work before the baby comes — hopefully all from the home office.
She kicks. 
You smile, wondering how you and Zelle both just know it’s a girl. Dieter has his own suspicions, he says, but he’s saving them. Orion would probably be thrilled to have a dragon in the family. You snort, hand over the place where she put her little foot.
“I miss them too, sweetie. And once you’re here, we’ll outnumber those silly boys. Maybe we’ll have to get a dog. You’ll like dogs.”
She’s silent, maybe sleeping, maybe thinking about what the heck a dog is. You smile, turn off the lamp, and peel back the covers. The sheets are cool and soft.
You fall asleep, dreaming of little feet, and hands, and wedding rings.
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