#<-guy who i hope i don't have to read more of

[bettys-redwinesupernova]

BEGIN AGAIN

rafe cameron x fem!reader

SUMMARY: a revenge plan turns complicated when y/n falls for rafe cameron—the one person she was never supposed to love. but was it ever just revenge?

based on this ask !! this request has been in the works for a couple weeks (hence the 5k word count😝), i really really enjoyed writing this and as soon as i read it i knew i had to make it inspired by ‘begin again,’ and i hope you don’t mind me taking creative liberty on this one anon, so thank you !! <3

(check out my other rafe cameron & drew starkey works here !!)

WARNINGS: some angst but a fluff ending, cheating (jj to reader), soft!rafe, cursing, allusions to sex, revenge plan to lovers (?), alcohol consumption, rafe has a normal family in this one (😀). (lmk if i missed anything !!)

WORD COUNT: 5.3k (i got insanely carried away🫣)

THIRD PERSON +

Y/N could still feel the sting of JJ's words, the way they sliced through her like a dull knife—slow, painful, irreparable.

"It just happened, okay?" he had said, desperation laced in his voice. "It didn't mean anything, baby. I swear."

But it did.

If it had meant nothing, he wouldn't have done it. If it had meant nothing, he wouldn't have shattered her trust, her love, her belief in him with a single, reckless mistake.

She stared at him, chest rising and falling with the force of her breath, hands curled into fists at her sides. The night air was thick with humidity, the salty ocean breeze doing nothing to cool the fire burning inside her.

"You cheated on me with Kiara?" she spat, her voice trembling, though not with sadness—no, sadness was something she'd felt the moment the words left his mouth. Now, it was only rage. "And you expect me to just—what? Pretend it didn't happen?"

JJ ran a hand through his messy blonde hair, looking more disheveled than usual. "I was drunk, Y/N. It wasn't planned. It wasn't—"

"Don't," she cut him off sharply. "Don't stand there and try to make excuses." She scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. "You know what hurts the most, JJ? It's not even just the cheating. It's the fact that I defended you to everyone. My parents, my friends. They all told me I was stupid for choosing a Pogue over every other guy who actually makes sense for me. But I didn't care, because I loved you."

Her voice broke, but she swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep it together.

"And what did you do with that?" she continued, taking a step closer, her eyes blazing. "You threw it in my face. You embarrassed me."

JJ's jaw clenched. "I never meant to hurt you, Y/N. You know that."

"Yeah? Well, you did."

Silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating.

Y/N could see it in his face—the guilt, the regret. But it didn't matter. It wasn't enough. It never would be.

She took a deep breath, exhaling shakily. "We're done, JJ."

His head snapped up. "Y/N—"

"Don't," she warned, her voice final. "You made your choice. Now I'm making mine."

And with that, she turned and walked away, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing her break.

She didn't cry.

Not when she got home, not when she lay in bed staring at the ceiling, not even when the memories of JJ and everything they had crashed over her like a tidal wave. No, she didn't cry.

She just got angry.

Because she had been loyal. She had been good to him. She had given him everything, only for him to betray her with Kiara of all people—the one girl she had actually trusted.

And now? Now, she wanted him to hurt.

Which was exactly why she was standing in front of Tannyhill, her heart pounding in her chest.

This was reckless. Dangerous, even. But she didn't care.

She needed this.

She needed revenge.

And she knew just the person to help her get it.

—

Rafe Cameron was a lot of things—arrogant, temperamental, a little unhinged—but he wasn't stupid.

So when Y/N showed up at his door at nearly midnight, looking like she was on the verge of either committing murder or breaking down completely, he knew something had happened.

He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, blue eyes scanning her face. "What do you want, sweetheart?"

She swallowed, straightening her shoulders. "I need your help."

Rafe raised a brow. "With what?"

"Making JJ regret everything."

A slow smirk curled at the corners of his lips. "Interesting."

She exhaled sharply, stepping closer. "Are you in or not?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "You really wanna do this?"

She met his gaze, unwavering. "Yeah, I do."

For a moment, he just studied her, as if trying to figure out how serious she was. Then, something shifted in his expression.

"Alright," he said, pushing off the doorframe. "Let's make him suffer."

The plan was simple.

Make JJ jealous. Make him see what he lost. Make him regret ever touching Kiara.

But some point during that evening, the lines blurred.

Because Rafe was Rafe—intense, intoxicating, dangerously charismatic. And Y/N was already teetering on the edge of self-destruction.

So when they ended up in his bedroom, the door slamming shut behind them, it wasn't just about JJ anymore.

It was about the way Rafe looked at her, like she was the most interesting thing in the room. The way his hands skimmed her waist, his touch possessive yet careful. The way his breath fanned against her skin, sending shivers down her spine.

"Still thinking about JJ?" he murmured, fingers tracing slow patterns on her hip.

She met his gaze, lips parted, heart pounding.

"No," she admitted, and it was the truth.

Because in that moment, it wasn't about revenge. It wasn't about making JJ jealous.

It was about the fire in her veins, the ache in her chest, the desperate need to feel something other than betrayal.

And Rafe—Rafe was more than willing to oblige.

His lips crashed against hers, and suddenly, nothing else mattered. Nothing except Rafe Cameron.

—

Y/N lay beside Rafe, her body still humming from the events of the night. The air between them was thick with something she couldn't quite name—satisfaction, exhilaration, maybe even something deeper. The sheets were a mess, tangled between them as she stared up at the ceiling, trying to steady her breathing.

Beside her, Rafe propped himself up on one elbow, smirking down at her. His hair was tousled, his lips still slightly swollen from their heated encounter. There was something different about the way he was looking at her, but Y/N shoved that thought away before she could entertain it. This wasn't about them. This wasn't about feelings.

It was about revenge.

"So, how do you wanna play this?" Rafe asked, tracing his fingers lazily over her bare shoulder.

Y/N turned her head to look at him, eyes sharp despite the haziness of their moment. "We make it obvious enough that JJ notices," she said, her voice steady, as if the way his touch sent shivers down her spine wasn't affecting her. "But not so obvious that it looks fake."

Rafe chuckled. "So, we make it look real then?"

Y/N hesitated. She knew what he was doing—he liked to mess with her, push her buttons, see how far he could get under her skin. But she wouldn't let him win.

"Exactly," she said, rolling onto her side, meeting his gaze head-on. "You're his biggest enemy, and I'm his biggest mistake. Nothing will drive him crazier than seeing me with you."

Rafe's smirk widened. "You really are ruthless when you want to be."

"You have no idea."

Rafe hummed in amusement, and with that, their arrangement was set.

This was about JJ. About making him regret everything.

At least, that's what Y/N told herself.

—

The first time they made their "relationship" public, it was calculated. Rafe had picked her up from the country club in his Pogue-killer truck, windows down, music blasting—just in time for JJ to see them as he passed by on his dirt bike.

JJ had stopped in his tracks, his eyes narrowing, jaw clenching so hard Y/N thought his teeth might break.

Rafe had played it up, resting his hand on her thigh, flashing JJ a taunting grin before speeding off.

Y/N had expected to feel triumphant.

Instead, her stomach twisted in a way she didn't understand.

—

The first time Rafe showed up early, it threw her off.

She had told him to meet her for coffee on a random Wednesday, expecting the usual—him strolling in twenty minutes late, making some sarcastic remark, turning their little arrangement into something that felt like a joke.

But when she walked in, he was already there.

Sitting at a corner table, legs stretched out, arms crossed over his chest. And when he saw her, he stood up, gave her a small nod.

"You're early," she said, eyebrows raised.

"You sound surprised."

"I am surprised."

Rafe smirked, pulling out the chair for her. "Sit down, princess."

She hesitated before taking the seat, watching him as he slid into the chair across from her. It felt... strange. Unfamiliar.

JJ had never been early.

JJ had never pulled out her chair.

She shook the thought away, focusing instead on the game they were playing. That's all it was—a game.

Still, she couldn't ignore the way her chest tightened when Rafe leaned back in his chair, looking at her like she was something worth paying attention to.

After they made their orders, they sat with their freshly brewed drinks.

"Didn't take you for a latte girl," he teased, nodding at her cup.

Y/N raised a brow. "Didn't take you for someone who hangs out anywhere that doesn't serve alcohol."

Rafe smirked. "Touché."

It should have been a quick meeting—just another public sighting to stir the pot. But somehow, they ended up talking.

Really talking.

Y/N had expected him to flirt, to push the boundaries of their deal, but instead, they talked about their childhood—about summers spent at the club, about the times they'd been forced to sit at boring Kook events together as kids.

Rafe had made her laugh. Genuinely laugh.

She had almost forgotten why they were doing this in the first place.

—

A week later, he picked her up for a party, and she made a point to wear heels.

JJ had always hated when she wore them, always made a face, always grumbled something about her being too tall next to him.

But when she climbed into Rafe's truck, he barely glanced at them before smirking. "Damn," he muttered, eyes dragging up her legs. "Trying to make it harder for me to behave?"

She rolled her eyes, but her stomach did something weird. Something dangerous.

Rafe drove with one hand on the wheel, the other draped over her thigh, his fingers warm and steady.

It was meant to be for show.

For JJ.

So why did it feel like something else?

Later that night at the party, Y/N and Rafe were standing just close enough that people whispered.

JJ was across the yard, watching them with a glare so sharp it could cut through steel.

Y/N should have been paying attention to him, should have been relishing in the jealousy that was the whole point of this.

But instead, she was too focused on Rafe's hand on the small of her back. The way his thumb moved in slow, absentminded circles against her skin.

When she turned to look at him, he wasn't watching JJ.

He was watching her.

—

A couple days later, she almost slipped up.

They were walking down the street after grabbing dinner—something casual, something that wasn't supposed to feel like a date.

She was about to bring up JJ, to remind herself why they were doing this in the first place.

But before she could, Rafe started talking about his family.

"My dad's obsessed with old westerns," he said, shaking his head. "Every Christmas, like clockwork, he makes us watch The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."

Y/N blinked. "Seriously?"

Rafe chuckled. "Swear to God. Every single year. Sarah and I know every damn line."

She found herself laughing, imagining Rafe and Sarah rolling their eyes as Ward Cameron sat in front of the TV, quoting the movie word for word.

JJ had never talked about things like that.

JJ had never let her in like that.

She pushed the thought away, but the seed had already been planted.

—

Then came the night that the shift between them had started to show.

It was late, and they were sitting on the hood of Rafe's truck, looking out over the water.

The party was still going strong down the beach, but they had drifted away from it, neither of them in the mood for drunken chaos.

Rafe took a swig from his beer, then turned to look at her.

"You ever gonna tell me why you were with him?"

Y/N frowned. "What do you mean?"

Rafe tilted his head. "I just don't get it. You're smart. You've got standards. And yet..." He let the sentence hang.

Y/N huffed, kicking a loose rock off the side of the truck. "He was... fun. He made me feel like I wasn't just another Kook girl. Like I wasn't just..." She trailed off, feeling stupid for saying it out loud.

Rafe was quiet for a second before saying, "He didn't deserve you."

She turned to look at him, expecting the usual sarcasm, but there was none. Just quiet certainty.

Her throat tightened.

"Yeah," she said softly. "I know that now."

And when Rafe threw his head back, laughing at something she said a few minutes later, she thought it was strange.

Strange that he thought she was funny.

Because JJ never did.

—

Another night, they found themselves in his truck, parked by the beach. It had started raining, heavy droplets drumming against the windshield, the air thick with the scent of salt and rain.

Y/N had been rambling about something—some ridiculous Kook drama that, in the grand scheme of things, didn't actually matter.

And then, out of nowhere, Rafe had reached across the console and tucked a strand of damp hair away from her face.

Y/N had gone silent, her heart doing something it definitely shouldn't have been doing.

For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of the rain.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she had asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Rafe had only smirked. "No reason."

But there was a reason.

And it scared her.

She knew things were getting complicated when she started noticing things about him she shouldn't.

Like the way his voice softened when he said her name.

Or the way he always made sure she got home safe, even when they weren't together.

Or the way he never pushed her, never made her feel like this was just some game.

Somewhere along the way, the lines between their act and reality started to blur.

And Y/N wasn't sure if she was ready to figure out what that meant.

—

The moment that nearly shattered her resolve happened at another party.

They had been standing close, laughing about something she couldn't even remember now. And then, without thinking, she had reached up and brushed a piece of hair out of his face.

It had been instinctive. Natural.

But when she realised what she had done, her breath hitched.

Because Rafe was looking at her like she had just changed everything.

And maybe... maybe she had.

Y/N kept telling herself that this was just revenge.

That the way her stomach flipped whenever Rafe touched her was just part of the plan.

That the way she found herself looking for him in crowded rooms was just to keep up the act.

But deep down, she knew.

She had fallen for Rafe Cameron.

—

The room was still heavy with the lingering heat from the night—sheets twisted around their legs, the soft hum of the air conditioning barely cutting through the thick humidity of the night. Y/N lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling, trying to process the whirlwind that had completely changed her life in the past few weeks.

Rafe lay beside her, his body close enough to feel the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, but far enough that there was space between them—a silent invitation, as if asking her to fill it. His hand rested on his stomach, but his fingers were almost touching hers.

The silence stretched comfortably between them. It wasn't awkward. It wasn't forced. It felt...right.

Y/N turned her head to look at him, the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window, casting a glow over his face. He was still as handsome as ever, his jaw sharp, eyes intense even when he was relaxed, and the faintest trace of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. But it wasn't the same cocky smirk that had first drawn her in—this was something different. It was real. It was genuine.

She couldn't stop herself from smiling too. "What are we doing, Rafe?" she asked softly, voice barely above a whisper.

Rafe turned his head, his blue eyes locking with hers. There was a quiet intensity in them, a look that said he knew exactly what she meant but wasn't sure how to say it either. "I don't know," he murmured, his voice rough with unspoken emotion. "But I think it's something good."

Y/N's heart fluttered, the vulnerability in his voice catching her off guard. Rafe was always the tough guy, the one who hid behind arrogance and bravado, the one who never let anyone see the cracks in his armor. But with her, it was different. She could see it now—the cracks were there, but they weren't flaws. They were pieces of him she could understand, pieces that were human, not just a cold façade.

She reached out, her hand finding his, fingers brushing gently over his knuckles. He didn't pull away. Instead, he laced their fingers together, holding her hand with a tenderness that surprised her.

"Do you regret this?" she asked, the words slipping from her lips before she could stop them. She had to know. There were so many things between them, so many things left unsaid, but that was the one question that had been haunting her the most. Did he regret it?

Rafe blinked, the intensity in his gaze softening as he turned his hand to squeeze hers. "No," he answered, his voice steady but with an underlying depth she couldn't ignore. "I don't regret it." He let out a breath, his gaze turning towards the ceiling, as if trying to find the right words. "I thought it was just supposed to be a game, you know? Make JJ jealous, show him that you could move on...but it's not a game anymore."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat. Her mind raced. She didn't know how she felt about that—about the fact that it had started with a plan, a scheme, to get back at JJ for everything. But as the days passed, the more time she spent with Rafe, the more she realized just how much they had in common, how well they fit together.

Her fingers traced the lines of his hand as she spoke. "Neither did I," she confessed. "I started this thinking I'd get back at JJ, but...I don't know, something just changed. Somewhere along the way, it stopped being about him."

Rafe's eyes met hers again, a small smile playing at the edges of his mouth. "Yeah," he said, his voice low, but with warmth now. "I know what you mean."

They both lay there in the quiet, holding hands, letting the moment stretch out. There was something peaceful about it—something intimate that neither of them had ever expected when this all began. What started as a plan to make someone else jealous had somehow turned into something much deeper, something neither of them had seen coming.

Y/N shifted slightly, turning onto her side to face him fully. She couldn't deny how she felt anymore. The chemistry between them was undeniable, but it wasn't just that. It was the way they laughed together, the way he made her feel like she was the only person in the room, the way he protected her without even thinking.

"Rafe," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Her heart raced in her chest as soon as the words left her mouth. She had said it before, in the past—I love you—but never like this. Never in this way.

Rafe's breath hitched, his chest rising and falling a little faster now, and for a moment, he didn't speak. Instead, he reached out, gently cupping her face in his hands, as if needing to touch her to make sure she was real. His thumb brushed over her cheek, soft and slow, sending a wave of warmth flooding through her.

"You're not the only one," he whispered back, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm falling for you too, Y/N."

Her breath caught in her throat. The words she had always wanted to hear from him, the words she had never expected to come, were there now. And they were real.

Rafe leaned in slowly, his lips brushing against hers in a tender kiss, soft and slow, like he was savoring it. It wasn't heated or urgent like some of their previous kisses—it was gentle, sweet, and full of the unspoken feelings they had been holding back. It was everything they hadn't been able to say out loud.

When he pulled away, his forehead rested against hers, and they both just breathed, their hands still entwined, hearts racing in sync.

"I never thought I'd say this," Rafe said quietly, eyes closed as he let out a shaky breath, "but you make me feel like I'm actually worth something."

Y/N's chest tightened. She could feel the weight of his words, the vulnerability he was offering her. He had always been the guy who seemed so confident, so sure of himself, but in this moment, Y/N saw something different. She saw the cracks in his armor, the part of him that had never believed he was good enough for anything—anyone.

And Y/N? She couldn't let him think that way. Not anymore.

"You are worth everything, Rafe," she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "More than you know."

For a long time, they stayed like that—just holding each other, letting the night wash over them, the silence comfortable and full of promises. There were no expectations, no pressure, just the understanding that something had changed. Something real had blossomed between them, and neither of them was running from it anymore.

"I've never felt like this before," Rafe admitted after a while, his voice soft but full of sincerity. "With you, it feels like...like I could actually have something real. Something that isn't just a mess."

Y/N smiled, her heart swelling with affection. "You have it, Rafe. You have me."

And for the first time in a long time, both of them believed it.

—

It had been a couple of weeks since the night Rafe and Y/N had finally confessed their feelings for each other. Their relationship had progressed quickly, but neither of them had hesitated. They had fallen for each other in a way that felt right—organic and effortless. The label was there, official now, and it felt like both of them had finally found what they were looking for.

But as expected, the whispers started circulating quickly. Word of their relationship had gotten out, and it wasn't long before people started noticing—especially JJ.

The evening was warm and humid, a perfect night for a party at the Boneyard. The music was thumping, people were scattered around the yard, drinking and chatting, while others danced under the string lights. Y/N, Rafe, Topper, Sarah, and a few other Kooks were lounging around a table near the fire pit, drinks in hand, chatting casually. For the first time in weeks, Y/N felt at ease. There were no whispers, no judgment about her being with Rafe—only the people she cared about and a sense of belonging she hadn't felt in a long time.

Y/N had spent most of her time with Rafe over the past couple of weeks, getting to know him in a way she never had before. She had always known the confident, rebellious side of him, but she was starting to see the softer side—the one who cared deeply and would go to any lengths to protect the people he loved. They had spent lazy days by the beach, late-night drives, and spontaneous trips to places that weren't on any map. She was falling for him harder every day, but it wasn't just the physical attraction. It was the little things—how he cared about her, how he made her feel, how he treated her like she was everything. He had given her more than she could have ever imagined.

She glanced at Rafe as they laughed with Topper, Sarah, and the others, her hand naturally finding his under the table. Their fingers intertwined, and for a moment, she just savored the feeling of being with someone who made her feel seen, understood, and loved.

But as she was about to say something to Rafe, a familiar figure appeared in her peripheral vision. She stiffened. It was JJ.

JJ stormed over, his face a mixture of anger and desperation, his jaw clenched as he walked straight toward them. Y/N's heart skipped, not knowing what to expect. She knew this confrontation was coming—it was inevitable.

Rafe noticed it too, his hand tightening around Y/N's as JJ approached, but he didn't move. He didn't flinch. He stayed calm, but Y/N could see the subtle tension in his shoulders, his jaw tight as he prepared for whatever was coming.

"Y/N," JJ said, his voice loud enough to be heard over the music. His eyes were frantic, scanning her face. "We need to talk."

Y/N narrowed her eyes, her grip on Rafe's hand tightening. She could feel the anger brewing inside her, but she was trying to keep her composure. Rafe gave her a reassuring squeeze, his thumb brushing the back of her hand gently.

"I don't think we need to talk, JJ," Y/N said coolly, her voice steady despite the boiling fury inside her. "But if you really need to hear it from me, I'll tell you. I definitely don't want to be with you anymore."

JJ's eyes widened, his face contorting in disbelief. "What the hell, Y/N?" He snapped, glancing at Rafe briefly, his expression turning hostile. "This isn't about him, is it? You don't really like him. You're just trying to get back at me for what I did. It's all a game to you, isn't it?" His voice wavered, a hint of panic creeping into his words.

Y/N could feel the heat rise in her chest, but she didn't back down. "It's not a game, JJ. It's not about you anymore. It's about me." She stood up, her voice booming over the music, silencing the chatter around them. People had stopped what they were doing, watching the confrontation unfold.

"You're such a horrible person," Y/N continued, her words sharp and cutting. "You broke me, JJ. You cheated on me with Kiara—our friend. You think I can just forget that? You think I'm some fool who's gonna let you walk back into my life after everything you did?" She took a step closer to him, her eyes locking onto his. "You humiliated me. And you have the audacity to stand here and beg for me back like nothing happened?"

The words tumbled out of her, each one heavier than the last, and with each syllable, Y/N felt like a weight was being lifted off her chest. She was finally letting him have it. All the hurt, all the frustration, the betrayal she had been carrying for weeks—it was all spilling out now, and she couldn't stop it.

"I wish I had gotten with Rafe sooner," she spat, her voice laced with venom. "Because with him, I know what it's like to be truly happy. He doesn't lie to me, he doesn't cheat on me. He shows me what love really is. What I've always deserved."

The group around them murmured, and she noticed Rafe's expression go from unreadable to... something else. He was staring at her, his eyes wide, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. His face softened, and Y/N's heart skipped a beat. This was the first time she'd seen him like this—vulnerable, open, and completely in awe of her.

"Y/N..." JJ began, his voice faltering, but he didn't get the chance to finish his sentence.

"Shut up, JJ," Y/N snapped, glaring at him. "I don't want to hear it anymore. You lost me the second you cheated. And now you're just proving how pathetic you are by begging me to take you back." She shook her head in disgust. "You don't deserve me. And you definitely don't deserve to have me back."

The words echoed in the air as Y/N turned her back on him, her chest heaving with emotion. She felt alive, empowered, and something else—something she hadn't felt in so long. Free.

The group erupted into cheers. Topper raised his drink in the air, Sarah clapped, and a few others cheered Y/N on. It was like she had just dropped a bomb, and the energy in the air shifted. The Kooks were no strangers to drama, but this felt different. This felt like the culmination of everything Y/N had been holding in.

Rafe didn't say anything at first. He just stared at her, wide-eyed, his face unreadable. And for a brief moment, Y/N wondered if she had gone too far. But then, without warning, Rafe stood up. He took her hand in his, pulling her gently away from the crowd, leading her toward the exit.

Y/N didn't say anything as she walked with him. She just wanted to get away from the scene, to take a breath and let the adrenaline settle in her chest. The confrontation had been messy, but it had been cathartic. She had finally stood up for herself, and in doing so, she felt like she had reclaimed something she thought she had lost forever.

When they reached Rafe's car, Y/N paused, her heart still racing from the adrenaline of the scene. She turned to face him, her brows furrowed in concern. "I'm sorry for making such a scene back there," she said, her voice quieter now. "I just... I couldn't hold it in anymore."

Rafe looked at her, his expression softening, and before she could say anything else, he pulled her into a kiss.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, but she melted into it instantly. His lips were soft against hers, the kiss slow, deep, as if he was trying to convey everything he felt in that one moment. She kissed him back with equal intensity, the heat of the night surrounding them, but the only thing she could focus on was him—the way he made her feel.

When they pulled apart, Rafe rested his forehead against hers, both of them breathing heavily. "I've never had anyone defend me like that before," he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "No one's ever stood up for me like that, Y/N."

Y/N's heart swelled, the warmth of his words wrapping around her like a protective embrace. "I meant every word," she whispered. "I love you, Rafe. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Rafe's eyes softened, a smile tugging at his lips. "I love you too, Y/N." He kissed her again, a slow, lingering kiss that held all the unspoken things between them.

In that moment, Y/N knew. She had fought for herself. She had found her strength, and now, she had found her true love too.

(divider by @kodaswrld !!)

betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

this was such a labour of love and i had SO much fun writing it and i’m so sorry it’s taken a while anon, i just wanted this to be PERFECT !! this has got to be in my top three faves that i’ve written and i hope it’s what you wanted <3

i’ve had this in my drafts (as well as a few more) from the past month of requests, and i’ve just been editing them all now (that’s the toughest part💔), but i’m getting there so thank you all for being so patient <3

[bitchlessdino]

Good Roommates Don't (m)

for @ddeonghwa-s secret cupid collab i recieved you @haologram!

Pairing: roommate! Minghao x barista!afab!reader Word count: 14.1k rating: R Summary: Xu Minghao had been the most ethereal being you've ever laid your eyes on to the point being unable of functioning like a normal person, but now you're roommates. Only time will tell when you lose your mind keeping your hands to yourself, so there needed to be a list of things you don't do if you wanted to be a good roommate. tags: meet-ugly, strangers to roommates to lovers, college au, barista au, down bad!reader, mentions of band, brief bdsm, mc fell first he fell harder, cum swapping, spitting, oral (giving and receiving), face riding, unprotected sex author note: thank you @lovetaroandtaemin and @gyubakeries beta-reading this with me. after writing towtsyfdtotbycf (holy shit) i was in a little bit of a slump and had several and i mean SEVERAL versions of this and for months racked my brain how i wanted to do this. Alta, i care for you deeply and we've gotten close in the last year or so, so i really wanted to write something that would amuse you and that you'd enjoy. and if you hate it you can use it as leverage to berate me on discord lol. but please, my valentine, enjoy my gift to you. happy Valentines day Alta (and tell me was i really not that slick) <3

When you first met Minghao, you almost killed him trying to save his life. At least, that's what you thought you were doing.

All you had to do was bear a normal shift at the Coffee Shop, attempt a semblance of a smile for the oncoming customers, and clock out at your normal hour, but the universe couldn’t even give you that. Instead, they sent you the hottest guy imaginable, along with the swiftness of a gazelle, the strength of a gorilla, and the intuition of a garden gnome. That day just confirmed that some things were better left alone.

A few things were already going wrong that day. For one, your alarm didn't go off. The alarm being your mom, who usually kicked you out of bed first thing at 9 am, since she had a doctor’s appointment. Fair enough. The strings of fate got you there. All the more reason why moving out seemed like a distant dream rather than a close reality. Were you really capable of being a functioning adult? 

Then there was the bus and having to shell out twenty bucks for a Lyft when the next scheduled bus was reported to have broken down and was no longer an option. That twenty bucks could’ve been your meal for the next week, but no, being fiscally responsible was a circus act, and you were the clown being pied in the face repeatedly. As if you weren’t already putting on a face and juggling multiple things enough on a daily basis, today was no different. 

And then, you were late to work—which again, was nothing new—but you were hoping that Nayeon, who was scheduled as the shift manager, she’d let you off with a warning. Yet, somehow, that went wrong as well, seeing that the shittier manager on your shift, Manager Fi, was present instead. And, by the look in the old man's eyes, he wasn’t happy about it either, especially considering he assigned you bathroom duty for the end of your shift to make up for your tardiness. He never liked you since you started. Then again, he didn’t like anybody, and vice versa.

This morning was bad omen after bad omen.

Leading up to finally meeting Minghao—tall, scorchingly hot Minghao, , with lips that looked soft as clouds. You hadn’t seen him around before until today, and perhaps it should’ve stayed that way, because you couldn’t see yourself facing him ever again.

He walked in with his large group of friends, all almost nearly as charming as him with a handful of faces that you’ve seen once or twice, but none that stood quite out like his. He had the kind of face that made you want to paint murals, write ballads, or stare long enough to linger too long over the same spot you were cleaning on the counter, windshield wiping until the wet streaks you wiped off devolved to discoloration and damaged the countertop’s cheap sealant. Eventually, you averted your gaze to conceal your flushed cheeks—turning away in clear embarrassment, thinking about how much of a fucking creep you probably looked overtly gawking at him—but you’d soon realized that was the least of your worries. You’d soon wish it ended with you looking like a creep.

The next moment you lifted your eyes towards him again, you found him in a compromising position, one that had you thinking—and that was your first mistake. His face twisted with discomfort, and he gasped as he covered his mouth. A million thoughts raced through your mind, considering all the possible reasons for his distress, and one screamed the loudest above all, setting off alarm bells. So you—being meddling and troublesome you—acted on instinct.

Hopping over the counter, you raced towards him, pulled him off the booth which he was luckily on the edge of, and immediately attempted the Heimlich. Finally, your CPR certification could be put to use. You embraced him from behind, putting pressure on his ribcage as you launched and thrust yourself against him, forcing whatever was lodged in his throat out of his body.

“I’ve got you!” you exclaimed heroically.

You put in as much strength as you could muster, truly hoping to save a life today, thinking out of all things that have gone wrong today, at least this would be one thing you’ve done right. You could feel your ancestors looking down on you to witness a proud moment in your otherwise boring and mundane life. 

After several rough collisions with his body, he eventually spat something chewed up and unsightly onto the booth’s table, drawing the attention of several onlookers if your boisterous shouting hadn’t already. His friends were quick to look away, wincing in disgust while the cute boy doubled over in pain, holding himself by the ribs as you ran your eyes over at him in concern.

“Are you alright, sir? That must’ve been terrifying to suffocate on something so suddenly.”

He then finally lifted his head. His cheeks were flushed as anguish took over his features. “I wasn’t choking,” He rasped.

“...Come again?”

“Oh my god!” A third-party witness stood up dramatically from their seat. “This barista just saved this young man’s life!”

Suddenly, you were punished with attention, cheers specifically. All except the people who sat at the cute boy’s table clapped for you—or, rather at you now—and gave you standing ovations for your grand heroic act, when in fact, it wasn’t heroic at all. Meanwhile, you attempted to settle them down, flapping your hands dismissively and growing hot all over. You looked over the man you so-called saved as he strained to sit back in his seat, being tended by the friends he came with.

“Dude, you okay?”

“Shit, that looked like it hurt.”

“You probably shouldn't have been drinking it that fast, Minghao.”

It turned out you had severely miscalculated the situation. What appeared to be choking, prompting you to improperly administer a rough but appropriate Heimlich maneuver, was simply a mildly exaggerated reaction to hot coffee followed by a muffin to alleviate his burnt taste buds. You, of course, profusely apologized, as if you weren’t embarrassed enough for staring at him the whole time working your entire shift at the coffee shop because he was the most breathtakingly stunning person you’ve ever seen in your life. You might’ve just about broken his ribs and made his life flash before his eyes by abruptly slamming your body against him repeatedly, and not in the fun way.

Rather than an apartment, you were in desperate need of a hole deep enough to lead you to the core of the Earth to hide you from everyone else on the crust, ideally with cheap rent and good air ventilation. 

You bowed your head in humiliation, unable to meet any of their eyes, especially with the possibility of them remembering your face with a lawsuit waiting to happen. “I can’t believe that happened, I am so sorry. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know.”

“It’s okay, really, but I think we’ve had enough excitement for today if you don’t mind.” 

The attractive stranger—or Minghao, as you’ve learned from his friends who immediately rushed to him in concern—shook his hand in the air reassuringly. “Just, no more of that, alright? Make sure someone’s actually choking before trying to save them.”

“Right, please have a wonderful rest of your day,” you said, before returning to your station and disappearing behind the breakroom, screaming into your cubby and avoiding human interaction for as long as you could.

That scene replayed in your mind over and over like a recurring nightmare, burning the image of his beautiful face with such disdain for all eternity, while his name etched into your brain in permanent ink, embedded in every wrinkle in your brain. Minghao. A devastatingly beautiful name for a devastatingly beautiful owner.

Ugh. Get a fucking grip.

You just needed to get through the rest of the day. It would just be a couple more hours until your shift ended, and then you’d leave on the dot. It’d be just in time to make your appointment to meet your new potential roommate. Hopefully, it would be the silver lining of today’s catastrophic mess.

You met on electronic class forums while attending the same Cultural Studies course and somehow ended up relying on each other for notes. By your chat history, you seemed to have a lot in common—with the exception of his preference for tea over artisanal coffee—and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t get giddy seeing the green circle next to his username. Recently, he had just talked about moving into town after pondering the idea for so long, and as fate may have it, you’ve been looking for your own place to stay. You figured he seemed nice enough, and he even offered a reasonable quote on rent. It wouldn’t hurt to take a look. You just hoped he was as friendly in real life as he was online—with the day you had, you needed a win.

And, that win started with Chinese food, his choice, and it was a good one. You hadn’t been at this location before, taking note of the old-fashioned aesthetic touched by the harshness of modern neon signs that lit even the darkest of hallways. You were now thinking you ought to come more often as the heavenly notes of soy, ginger, and whatever concoction bled through the kitchen curtains and wafted through your nostrils the moment you passed through the double doors. Immediately, you were greeted by the host, visibly tired and overworked, with dark circles under his eyes, before he led you to a table in the center of the restaurant. You settled your nerves with a glass of water, trying to let the horrific events from today fade to as black as the soy sauce loitering on your table, waiting for a plate of dumplings to accompany them.

Funny how you could still have an appetite after everything that happened.

It wasn’t too long after you heard the same doors you walked through open, setting off the familiar sound of its wind chimes. You peered behind you, catching a glimpse of the new arrival, and immediately spun back in your seat, startled by the face that passed through your eyes. Trepidation brewed within you as the unsolicited visitor had your stomach in knots. 

You couldn’t take another incident tonight. 

You slunk into your seat, burying your chin in your shirt, hoping you’d somehow camouflage into your seat, facing away from the new arrival. Meanwhile, his eyes skimmed the room, walking in with purpose without guidance and greeting the employees as if he were right at home. Fortunately, he had yet to notice your presence as you slinked out of view the moment he passed by you to sit at the bar, while you made way into a booth in the dark corner of the restaurant, cursing the fates for their cruel games once again. You just had hoped that your new roommate would hurry it up already so you could get out of here before you were discovered.

And after about ten minutes, it felt as if all hope was lost. There was no sign of them and you were wondering if you had been stood up. Amid your anticipation, you were forced to pay attention to the person you were avoiding, seeing his patience wear thin with the tap of his foot as he sipped the last of his iced tea. Not a moment too soon, you saw him pluck his phone out from his pocket, fingers skittering over the screen before bringing it to his ear and scanning the restaurant’s floor plan. In the same instant, your phone went off,  blaring your cursed ringtone, ‘Pocketful of Sunshine’, and the realization—along with the panic—quickly set in. 

Alerted by the noise, his head whipped up from his screen. His eyebrows rose in shock, not all expecting the outcome that arose, and he dropped to his feet and quickly darted toward the sound that you—for the life of you—could not turn off fast enough. His footsteps matched the rate of your heart pounding in your chest, growing louder and closer until he found the source and located you cowering in the corner.

You lifted your head to lock eyes for the first time since this morning just as you finally managed to silence the ringtone and gave him an awkward laugh, waving with your phone in hand. Taking a nervous gulp, you awaited his disappointment, expecting him to make his quick exit after evaluating in the two seconds of your meeting that this arrangement would not work out because you were a deranged psycho with a savior complex. To your pleasant surprise, that didn't happen. Instead, you were met with a gentle smile and a glint of curiosity in his eyes. “There you are.”

You forced a sheepish chuckle. “Here I am, ha.”

Minghao softly chuckled before tucking his phone in his back pocket. “And to think just this morning you ‘saved my life.’”

You shut your eyes tightly, hands pressing together as if begging for forgiveness. “Again I am so, so sorry for that. It did look like you were choking.”

He shook his head reassuringly. “So you’ve said. I’m Minghao, or PalE8. Nice to meet you, CafeMixr0.”

“Is it…nice to meet me?” You asked dubiously.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

You blinked incredulously. “Well, for several reasons.”

He shrugged before entering the booth and leaving a healthy distance to sit just across from you. “Can’t think of any. Have you ordered anything yet?”

You shook your head, befuddled by his nonchalance, waiting to see the catch, if there was any.

“Good thing I know everything worth ordering.” His hand shot up before grabbing the attention of a server to get his order taken.

You weren't sure where the night was going. All you knew was the boy that you almost killed this morning was sitting across from you looking as breathtaking as he did this morning, even while slurping up his stir fry that was glossed with a sheen of chilli oil and swelling up his already full lips. Rather than a roommate meetup—if that was still the case—it felt like a date, a date you were exceedingly ill-prepared for.

Suddenly, you could feel the sweat on the back of your knees, feeling the strong urge to sniff the clothes on your back, unsure when the last time you did a fresh load of laundry and if your current attire was included in that load at all. Not to mention that bathroom duty that was forced upon you, which no doubt seeped into your clothes. You were better off naked, but then that would be an entire different kind of meeting, wouldn”t it?

“You’re okay, right?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from your spiraling thoughts as you barely finished your portion of chow mein—which was absolutely heavenly, to put it lightly.

He let out a light chuckle before kindly reassuring you. “How many times are you going to ask me? You and everyone from this morning. I’m fine, able-bodied and everything.” 

“I just felt really bad. You looked really hurt.”

He couldn’t suppress his grin, finding your cautiousness amusing, but it only added to your unease. “I was hurt. You’re really, really strong.”

You winced. “Again. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s a quality of a good roommate.” He finished the last bit of his meal before dropping a couple of bills without asking for the tab. “Come on. I’ve got to show you the apartment.”

You raised an eyebrow while sipping your warm tea before tapping your mouth with a napkin. “You still want to room with me? After this morning?”

“There’s not a lot of good options for roommates in the city, and what are the odds that you’ll try to kill me twice?”

He had a fair point, and it wasn’t like you had options lining up either. You just had to hope he didn’t regret taking this chance on you.

A big reason why you wanted to move out was to learn to be on your own, but in addition to that, the city had pretty much everything to offer. The city had it all, from job opportunities to the right people to meet, and the apartment Minghao led you to was the center of the entirety of it. High above the town square, in a room several floors up, there was a nook that had a view through a large window overlooking everything within about a two-mile radius. If there was anything nice to say about the city, it definitely looked better from where you were standing. The street lights illuminated streets, neon signs brought the local businesses to life, and people that ran the night life lived it to the fullest in the flashiest clothes imaginable. You had never seen your city like this before.

Meanwhile, the apartment itself was gorgeous and already fully furnished with stylish furniture and greenery that touched the kitchen and living room. It was graced with Minghao’s taste in art and an eccentric—but tasteful—color palette of warm browns, olive greens, and rustic oranges. It felt like walking into Minghao’s mind, seeing into his world, and you were given the opportunity of it being yours, being part of his world. He was generous enough to even let you pass through the front door.

“So?” he asked, gauging your interest, watching as you looked down at the city from the large window nook in awe.

You softly scoffed, unable to take your eyes off the beautiful view calling to you like a siren at sea.  “Um, I’m sorry, you had trouble finding a roommate, how?”

He crossed his arms, admiring the sight with you, glancing at you through his peripheral vision and grinning when he saw the childlike sparkle in your eyes. “I’m new to the city, and everyone I know here has their own living arrangements. I didn’t want to go too far in looking for a new roommate. I thought we'd work well together, since we’re based in the same city now and have a lot in common based on our conversations.”

“I almost killed you this morning,” You’ve pointed out to…death.

“Although you’re…impulsive and unpredictable, I’ve seen worse. I think I’ll manage.” He splayed his hand in front of you, gesturing for a shake to officially seal the deal. “What do you say? Do you still want to be roommates?”

Everything about this screamed it was a bad idea. Putting aside the fact that you nearly killed the man, you could barely stand in the presence of him without your mind drifting to dark waters. It didn’t take rocket science to understand that putting you in that same living quarters with Minghao meant you might have to live every day together with your hands tied behind your back and thighs taped shut. You’ve surprised yourself with how you’ve managed to keep your composure sharing the same air—the air you were even thinking of savoring as you contemplated this offer.

You were down-righteously-bad. You weren’t a fit roommate for Minghao in the slightest.

Yet, you took his hand, letting his cool palm clash with your warmth as his digits wrapped around you in a tight squeeze before shaking. “Let’s do it.”

And that marked the start of a new chapter of your life, unraveling the challenge of being Xu Minghao’s roommate. Only, he wasn’t the challenge. He was a breath of fresh autumn air. He was kind beyond words and accommodating in every step of your move. You were already familiar with his gentle and patient nature, as he had frequently taken the time to clarify complex ideas for class, and you’ve learned about the majority of his interests prior from your online discussions, but seeing PalE8’s traits in person—embodied in Minghao—was bizarre. You realized he was still a stranger after all. A stranger that claimed your breath with a single bat of his eyes and turned your stomach inside out worse than a bad case of food poisoning, no less.

Meanwhile, the neighbors knew him by name, were endeared by his presence, and found him to be a delightful conversationalist as well as a helping hand when the situation called for it. He was better than your friendly neighborhood spiderman. He was your kind, considerate, intricately woven, beautifully complex, and knees-bucklingly handsome Minghao. 

You weren’t usually a sexual deviant, at least not to this extent, but Minghao brought something out of you that you hadn’t felt for another person. However, if you were going to live together, that had to change. This crush was going to have to dwindle out of existence if you wanted to live together—emphasis on you—in peace.

So, that’s when you decided to make a list of rules that only you had to follow. Sure, you were an adult, and the thought of giving yourself rules to keep your hands to yourself was juvenile and stupid, but for the sake of your sanity, you were looking for anything that might work. That’s when you decided to make a list of things “good roommates don’t do”, thinking it would be shorter and easier to sum up than a long redundant list of things good roommates would do, and the first thing to top the list was easy.

Good roommates don’t almost kill each other (again).

That seemed easy enough to remember, considering the first time was traumatic enough, and fortunately, it didn’t take too much effort, considering you hardly saw each other despite living together. 

You ended up taking up more shifts at work, desperate enough to even join the catering team, to keep yourself busy and afford the new expense of rent, sacrificing a lot more of your free time. Meanwhile, Minghao’s work schedule was not only demanding, it was inconsistent. Working at a popular art gallery as an artist and attendant with frequent and erratic events to go to until late at night prompted your roommate to be seen home a lot less than expected. By the time either of you got home, there wouldn’t be so much of a hello or goodbye either, just the sounds of bodies falling on beds in either rooms as the day’s fatigue engulfed you until you succumbed to sleep.

You’d be lying if you said that you weren’t a little disappointed by these circumstances, but then again, perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. Seeing him as little as you did meant less opportunity for you to screw things up around him, because it seemed to happen quite frequently when he was around. The few times you did cross paths, you still found ways to humiliate yourself.

“That’s mine.”

You held the toothbrush mid-scrub, bubbles foaming at the corners of your mouth, “Eh?”

“I think you’re using my toothbrush.”

Your cheeks immediately grew warm, and you shielded your face with the back of your hand. You spat into the sink and splashed water on your face to rid yourself of toothpaste residue before turning back to respond, his words jumbling in your head and bouncing from corner to corner to process them. “I-I don’t think so, this is the one I always use.”

He snickered, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms, delectably dressed down in a gray tank top and sweatpants. The tempting taste of domesticity was sweet and permeated your tastebuds. “If that’s the case, we’ve been sharing, because I’ve always kept my brush there in the marble cup. Yours should be behind the medicine cabinet where you first left it.”

“What? You sure?” you pinned the used toothbrush on the sink’s porcelain before cracking open the medicine cabinet. “I’m pretty sure I took it—Ah!”

Startled by your findings, you dropped the toothbrush you gripped in your hand onto the floor when you’ve proven Minghao right as his toothbrush fell to the ground, now defiled with your oral bacteria and whatever was on the floor. The one day you take a shift later than usual because a member begged to take on more shifts, it blew up in your face. Seokmin, you will rue the day. “I-I’ll clean it!” You offered in a panicked tone.

He pushed himself off the threshold, waving his hand dismissively. “Don’t, please. It’s dirty; I can just replace it.”

Filled with guilt, you stepped aside to watch him pick up the dirty brush before disposing of it in the waste bin, “Sorry.”

“You say that a lot.” 

He pulled a fresh toothbrush out of a drawer and ripped it out of its packaging. It was notably identical to his previous and your current abandoned toothbrush, down to the bristles. “No worries. See,” he turned the new hygiene tool for inspection, “Clean.”

“Regret having me as a roommate yet?” you joked anxiously towards his reflection in the mirror.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Nothing I can’t manage. I lived in a boarding house full of guys that shared things without asking and it didn’t stop at toothbrushes. You’re the first roommate I’ve had that’s apologized. I say that’s an upgrade.”

He went on to brush his teeth with his newly obtained brush, christening the bristles with a squeeze of fluoride toothpaste before scrubbing against his pearly whites. He never ceased to amaze you with his aloof attitude towards the situation, as if he’d become accustomed to your chaos when he didn’t need to be at all. This situation, however, did indicate that you had another thing to be added to the list.

Good roommates don’t use each other’s toothbrush (even by accident)

In your room just before you left for work, you haphazardly added to the list you put on a crumpled piece of paper you kept in your wallet, ensuring you held your list close before setting the pen aside. Your heart pounded against your chest, thinking what that had meant all this time. How you’ve pretty much swapped saliva nearly every day with Minghao since moving in. The fact that it had gone on for so long repulsed you, but not anymore than the tiny part of yourself that maybe had always known and continued to do it. 

You held your digits to your lips, brushing the pads against the slit of your mouth, ragged breaths slowly leaving your lungs as you reached your enamel. Tension pooled in your stomach as the images that infiltrated your dreams were currently being conjured in your consciousness, while arousal chased down your legs as you clenched them together. Jolted back to reality, you wound your eyes shut, remembering how little he cared about the matter, how nonchalant he was when he found out. Meanwhile, here you were: perverse, losing your mind, and letting your imagination run wild like a hormonal teenager with her celebrity crush. 

Fuck. You needed a night out. You had been cooped up in the apartment for too goddamn long. The only other place you went was work, and knowing labor laws, they had to give you a night or two off for all the time you’d been putting in. There was a whole outside world, and you needed to buck up and take advantage of it. You had to do something other than fawn over your very hot roommate. Losing some spare change was worth the sanity. At least, you hoped it was.

“You going out tonight?”

Hearing a familiar tenor voice, your head lifted up from fixing the strap of your shoes to see him remove his coat and store it away in the front entrance closet. “Oh, you’re home,” you stated.

“Yeah. The gallery is closed tonight for a bigger show this weekend, so I have a couple days where I’m off earlier than usual.”

More time for Minghao to be at home. Great. 

You nodded, keeping your cool at the sight of his turtleneck hugging his lean and toned frame, making your heart work overtime in place of you this evening. “I see, but yeah. A couple of my friends and I are trying out that new place that just opened up in midtown.”

“Oh, let me know how that goes. Me and some friends had plans to go there too.”

“Okay.” You hurried your way to the door. “Don’t wait up.”

“Wait.”

Hand on the door knob, you cursed under your breath, squeezing your eyes shut as if bracing for impact before opening them, and turned around with an innocuous expression. “Yes?”

He held out his hand. “Your phone please.”

“Hmm? Why,” you asked, unlocking it before complying.

He smiled accepting it, before swiping his fingers off the screen. “I’m sending myself your location.”

And there your heart when pitter-patter again at thoughtful and kind hot as fuck Minghao. “I just told you where I’d be.”

“That could always change. Here,” he said, handing your phone back, beaming back at you warmly. “Just in case something happens, and you can always call me if you feel unsafe, okay?”

You gave a soft pout, cheeks growing warm at the thought of Minghao’s concern over you. It pleased you more than it should’ve. “Thanks. What are you gonna do tonight?”

He shrugged, taking a quick glance over his shoulder. “Maybe do some light reading and tea, paint if inspiration hits me.”

You gave a small grin, thinking just how Minghao those activities sound. “Sounds enlightening. Okay. I’ll be home soon.”

“Be safe.”

Even long after you’d left, you kept thinking about that interaction. How domestic it felt, how safe it made you feel, how seen you really were. It made you wonder if he was tracking you right now, looking at his phone, staring at the dot indicating where you were located. You wondered if he was thinking about you right now, because you were most certainly thinking about him.

Your mission of trying to forget Minghao by going out definitely was not working, but you took that as a sign to keep drinking. Your friends didn’t get to see you often with how much you worked, so they were just happy to see you were having a good time, not knowing you were trying to drown out the consuming thoughts of a certain man with a peculiar color scheme. 

They wouldn’t have known the way you let yourself get felt up by a stranger near the dance floor, standing so close you could smell the knock off cologne he was practically bathing in as his breath hung in the air against your neck. When it went nowhere, he eventually left, looking for prospects elsewhere, while you stuck to your mission, seeing it work at some point at night. Until it didn’t, but you didn’t remember because eventually it’d all fade to black.

Your eyes ripped open, waking up with the biggest headache, blinded by the natural rays of light bleeding through blinds—only your room didn’t have blinds. You specifically made sure to have blackout curtains because you couldn’t stand waking up to the sun, and that hasn’t ever changed. Grumbling irritatingly along the lines about who turned on the lights, you flipped on the other side of the bed with a half awoken daze, your blurry vision making out a lumpy figure underneath the covers.

You drew closer in confusion, trying to make sense of what you were seeing before taking in the fact the lump had a face as blinding as the sun you turned away from, startling you upon recognition. Your eyes shot open, wide awake now, and you nearly stumbled out of the mattress before his arms grabbed you, latching on you before you could fall off and safely secured you in his tucked embrace. 

“It’s a bit early for your charming antics, isn’t it?” Minghao chucked with closed eyes.

You blinked back at him, licking your lips anxiously. “How am I here right now?”

His eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light. “You mean alive or in bed with me?”

Your cheeks grew hot. “B-both.”

“I wish I had an answer for the first question, but it seems your creator had more plans for you. As for your second concern, you seemed confused and tired, and I assumed you confused this bed for yours.”

“You should’ve kicked me out.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, rubbing his hands over your shoulders and sending a chill down your spine. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

You let out a soft sigh, ridden with guilt. “I’d deserve it. I must’ve been annoying to deal with.”

He knitted his brows together, the corner of his lips softly turning down. “You really don’t like yourself.”

“No—well, maybe not lately. Maybe I’m just coming to the realization I’m not a good roommate.”

“No one is good at anything their first time.”

“You’re not denying it!”

“You’re a fine roommate.” Patting you on the back, he threw off the covers and pushed himself out of bed, leaving his room to trod toward the kitchen. You followed after curiously, like a duckling that imprinted on its mother, watching as he pulled out ingredients from the fridge’s shelves. “Anything you’re allergic to?” He asked over his shoulder.

“Nothing comes to mind.” You answered hesitantly.

“Good. The recipe is fairly easy anyway, it shouldn’t kill you.”

Your eyes widened and you quickly stood by his side as he set all the items down, he followed with gathering bowls and cookware. “You’re cooking for me?”

“Mmh-hmm.”

“You don’t have to.”

He turned his head slightly. “You have a headache, don’t you?”

“Yes but—”

“It’s just egg drop soup.” He patted your shoulder nodding his head over at the counter stool either of you would often have breakfast. “Sit. It’ll be done in a few minutes.”

You sat patiently by the counter, watching him chop and throw ingredients into a small pot, which filled your shared residence with a savory aroma. As soon as he was done, he presented the dish in front of you, garnishing it with fresh chopped scallions and parsley. He picked up a serving with a soup spoon and gently blew on the top before taking a quick sample and grinning at the result. Scooping with the same spoon, he held a serving towards you with proud eyes.

“Try it,” he urged.

As you accepted the offering, you tried not to think about how you were about to share yet another household item that would enter both your mouths and let the simple flavors fan out on your tongue, the warmth of soup dispersing throughout your body. You hummed in delight, already feeling it work its magic. “It’s delicious,” you said softly.

He grinned. “Feel better.”

“Thanks, Minghao.”

“No problem at all.” 

As you enjoyed your thoughtful breakfast, your roommate cleaned up his mess. He wiped down whatever residue was left behind before heading to his room and coming out properly dressed in brown slacks and muted green patterned sweater when you were just about done eating. “Heading to work now.”

“You had work?” You asked surprised, “Why did you waste time cooking? You could have left already.”

He softly scoffed heading to the door. “I spent—what, five or ten minutes? It’s fine. See you later.”

In the last 24 hours, Minghao managed to make sure you were safe by tracking your location, gave you a good night's rest by not disrupting your sleep, and made you breakfast right before work. Then there’s you, black out drunk with almost no memory of last night (probably good you didn’t), annoying your overly nice and overly hot roommate, hogging a bed that isn’t yours, and eating a home cooked meal that probably set back his schedule. You were the worst. All the more reason for a new addition to the list.

Good roommates don't sleep in their other roommate’s bed piss drunk (again)

It seemed that this list of “don’ts” was getting longer, probably because you’re an awful roommate, and if there was a reward, yours would already be at the front door. You really, really had to make an effort to do something about this arrangement. Now that some time had passed and these interactions were becoming more frequent, avoiding him seemed to be out of question unless you wanted to give him the wrong impression. You would just have to become a better roommate, and that started with making up for this morning.

In the following months together, to atone for the bed incident and good deeds that followed suit, you shared the occasional breakfast if you had time (that is if you didn’t burn anything), even sometimes grabbing dinner or a late meal in the small gap before or after work. While in the late hours, when both of you should’ve been sleeping, you’d have a cup of your favorite beverages. He’d have his brew of tea for the night while you’d have a mug of coffee, awake under the stars and basking in the night, watching from the nook that you both grew fond of that was in the direction of the moon when it’s at its peak.

Of all people to share these moments with, you couldn’t imagine it with anyone else but Minghao. He was the peace amongst the chaos, the quiet you came home to after dealing with the noisy world that helped you heal like nothing else. You liked that about him, and now you were liking him too much, to the point you thought of him every day. What it’d be like for him to hold you in his arms, letting his warmth envelop your entire being the way his voice naturally does with a simple “it’s okay.” 

You’d imagine how he’d look at you, how lovers do when they ache for one another so desperately they could feel it down to every atom. You’d thought of the words he’d say to you, the words he’d say to someone he’s madly, irrevocably besotted with, and every letter and word and sentence would be spoken poetry. He’d feel like love. You didn’t think it was possible for you to grow more attracted to him, but learning all these wonderful things he does and seeing up close and personal how beautiful inside and out he was, you were developing feelings and growing all these desires that you were ashamed to admit out loud.

And with that, you pulled out your list and a pen, jotting in a new item.

Good roommates don’t live in every waking moment staring at them or thinking about wanting to kiss them (no matter how hard it is)

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve already broken that rule, but the least you could do was hold yourself accountable.

However, writing the rule didn't prevent future instances. Not from fantasizing, not from wet dreams, not from imagining a life together where you rid all your inhibitions and clothes and succumb to drowning in each other. Unlike every other rule that you’ve managed to avoid, this one was the outlier, flipping your world on its head and preoccupying every second of your thoughts with all things Xu Minghao. And what sucked was you were so guilt ridden, you couldn't even let yourself enjoy it. 

This was your roommate for crying out loud. Your wholesome, nice, forgiving, and tolerant roommate that went beyond what was necessary to make you feel at home and comfortable. Only time will tell when he’ll see through you and finally kick you to the curb.

“Let’s go out.”

Your head lifted up from your phone with eyes large as saucers. “What?”

“We haven't really done anything together,” he suggested, cleaning up the dishes of the dinner you both had just had.

It was one of the few nights that you were both free. The coffee shop had more than enough staff, and you’ve exhausted the hours put in, while the art gallery was planning a grand exhibition, so they needed all hands on deck for the mornings for a few weeks, but evenings would be free until the week of. That left you two a lot more free time than you knew what to do with.

“We see each other all the time,” you pointed out.

“At home. We don’t hang outside the apartment aside from that one dinner the first day we met, so let’s go out.”

You blinked, watching him grab his coat before you could argue as he waved you over, his smile luring you closer and putting you under his spell without you realizing until it was too late. “Uh, where? It’s 9PM.”

“Anywhere.”

For someone who had only arrived in town a couple months ago, Minghao knew a lot of the good spots in the city.  If it wasn’t food, it was book stores. If it wasn’t book stores, it was tea shops. He had a clear plan of the city, and without so much looking at a GPS, he could find his way around better than any native. And considering all the people he came with that day you met the coffee shop and all the staff at the Chinese restaurant, his index didn’t stop at places. He seemed more familiar with the people in your hometown than you were. Between you two, he looked like the real local.

Walking alongside your roommate, you turned to him curiously, “How do you know the city so well when you’ve moved in somewhat recently?”

He gave a soft smile looking into the distance, as if the gust of wind that passed through you both hit him with a wave of nostalgia. “I’ve been visiting for about four years. I only had the guts to become a resident recently.”

“Why’d it take you so long?”

“Student visa processes, paper work, all those things. Also, this city is great, and everyone I've met and have become close with is amazing, but home is just home. It’s all I’ve ever known.” He let out a deep sigh, taking in a deep breath before stretching out his arms and let fall back to his sides, turning slightly to you. “This country and town has become a second, though, some things even my home can’t beat.”

You mused at that, intrigued that he could find something appealing in here, then again you've been here all your life, yet Minghao showed you more you could ever imagine of it. “Like what?”

He simply smiled as their feet stopped at their final destination, a location they both aimlessly walked towards just a little off the center of the town. “I’ll tell you, as soon as we try this place out.” 

Just off the center of town was a bar you had never heard of with a theme you’d never thought to put together on your own and definitely a place you’d never think to walk into with your roommate you were trying to keep platonic feelings for.

“Hey sexy babies, welcome to the Love in Leather BDSM Bar, where all your sexy dreams can come true.”

Oh, my god.

You were petrified. Every wall was decorated with leather or latex, either on display in a box, on a vulgarly displayed mannequin, or on an employee that was dressed in next to nothing, leaving no room for imagination. You weren’t shy about the theme of BDSM—there was always a small part of you curious about it—but it’s not like you’ve talked extensively about it with Minghao. The same person you were trying really hard not to think about sleeping with, which was especially hard in a place that served ‘cum shots’ and with their special for tonight being ‘buttery nipples.’

Glancing back at your roommate to get his reaction, he seemed to be just as startled with his findings as you were, but perhaps not as terrified as he should be, taking you by the wrist and weaving through the crowd with a marveled expression. You were grateful for the loud music playing the explicit versions of songs you wouldn’t otherwise hear on the radio, drowning out the sound of your heavy breathing and the loud thrum of your heart. You just had hoped he couldn’t feel your pulse under his fingertips, unable to untangle from his grasp as you felt the heat of his touch spread out through your whole body. You were trapped in a web you didn’t want to leave and that was the hardest kind to be in.

Suddenly, lights poured on the center stage of the bar. The music then slowed down, transitioning to another song, and a scantily leather clad woman entered that would erupt cheers of all clients seated in the chairs in front of her, to which she sent an air kiss and wink. Following the crowd, both you and Minghao decided to cheer along with them, your sounds of encouragement drowned out in the more enthusiastic and obscenely creative audience members of the establishment. Walking across the stage, she made a show of it, caressing her body in ways that would have a man on his knees howling at the moon (which you swore you heard once or twice in there) as money was thrown strewn stage like confetti, enough to pay for a few nice dinners uptown. After garnering the excitement, she descended down the steps of the stage, walking into her live audience. Her eyes skimmed through the endless crowds of people, landing on and picking one lucky front row member—a young, spry man no older than twenty-five—and brought him on stage, ensuing roars and applause, indicating the start of the real show.

What happened next was something you did not want to get into detail, but in layman’s terms, that audience member was having the time of his life with the use of a flog while everyone watched. You could only make the distinction of excruciating pain and pleasurable pain by the very loud affirmations coming out of his mouth and bouncing off the board he face planted on, and the words that passed through one of your ears and never wanted to come out the other. You were slack jawed from the scene, not at all expecting this scene today, and holy shit, you could not feel more suffocated knowing Minghao was witnessing all of this beside you. 

He stared back at the scene, expression unreadable, but he seemed interested and unable to look away like it was an oncoming train wreck, looking as if he was stuck on the tracks and was making sense of what he was seeing. Suddenly, his eyes locked with yours and you watched as they softened with a glint of something behind them before you swiveled your head, feeling yourself burn from your face to your ears, clenching your free hand. This felt eerily like a date, but unlike the first dinner, this felt like a real one. An immense sexually charged one. 

You were surrounded by sex at all angles, being tested to the most extreme degree. Tonight, you’ve learned dominance wasn’t particularly your thing, but if it were Minghao, perhaps you wouldn’t have minded. 

But this, this was overwhelming. As if sensing your turmoil, Minghao tugged your wrist, making you fix your gaze on him again and read the words that he mouthed from his lips. “Time to run.”

Your fingers interlocked and feet picked up speed as you headed toward the door, running aimlessly for miles out of the bar in fits of smiles and laughter. There was no plan and no destination, you both just wanted out, and you’d only stop running when you reached a bridge, both your bodies collapsing against the metal railing. You both gave out in heavy pants, your breaths mingling as you faced one another. 

“That’s crazy,” you managed to rasp. “Why did we think we could go in there?”

He gave you a tired grin back, looking in the direction from which you came. The light layer of perspiration made his shirt cling to his skin, and you get a sliver of his chest as he aired it out for comfort. “I don’t know. Try something new, but that.” He pointed where he faced. “That’s how I know so many places, I just walk inside.”

You ran your hand over your chest, baring the biggest grin. “Gosh. I feel like dying.”

“Iced coffee?” He kindly suggested.

“And tea?” You cared to offer.

Nodding back at each other, you both decided to walk the rest of the way back around, making a stop at a light night cafe and occupying their second floor balcony to taste the crisp air. As you sipped on your iced coffee and Minghao sipped on his warm tea, you quietly basked in the moonlit sky, as you’d done many times before. The adrenaline of tonight coursed through you still while you leaned against the railings and stared up at the stars, your elbows grazing close enough to spark that electricity that you’d feel whenever he ever got too close. This time, you were too tired to fight it, or you learned it’s about time you stopped trying to.

“I don’t drink coffee.” He abruptly confessed, penetrating the silence.

You softly scoffed, turning your head to him, taking his reminder as a jab for your ‘inferior’ tastes before taking a bigger sip of your delicious fresh roast press. “I know that. You prefer tea.”

“I mean, I don’t drink coffee, but the day you ‘saved me,’ I did.”

You hummed. “Oh. Yeah, you did. Funny. You got a coffee that day instead?”

He shook his head, smiling. “No, ask me why I drank coffee that day.” 

You rolled your eyes, placing your drink on the side table before leaning your elbows over the railing. “Okay. Why did you drink coffee, Minghao?”

“I drank my friend’s mug on accident, thinking it was my tea, then tasted how scaldingly hot and wretched it was—”

You gasped, offended as a barista, “I work really hard on those!”

He waved his hand to calm you down. “Let me finish. I mistook my normal tea for coffee…all because I got distracted, unable to stop thinking about the cute barista who wouldn't quit staring at me from behind the counter.”

“...I apologize for being a creep.”

He shook his head smiling and set his tea cup aside. “Not my point.”

You stared into the contents of your drink, shaking the ice inside as you stirred the straw, trying to find any remains of your beverage and stalling for time to follow up with a response. Lips pressed in a firm line, you glanced at him from the corner of your eye, silence met on the other end as he keenly observed you, mirroring your posture while he sipped his tea. “So…You thought I was cute,” you managed to sum up.

“Thought…think…know.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You timidly asked.

“We’re roommates,” he reminded you, plain as day. “We should be honest with each other, right?”

“Honest,” you repeated, lethally soft.

“Yes, honest,” he confirmed just as quietly. “Don’t be afraid to tell me whatever is on your mind, just as I’ve told you what was on my mind.”

His honesty was cute, flattering. Your honesty could write up a restraining order. “Is that necessary? We only really live together.”

“It’s necessary because we live together, so yes, be honest about your feelings. Let me in on your thoughts, whatever they may be.”

Good roommates don’t forget to be honest about each other’s feelings.

He stood in front of you dangerously close, the lingering smell of his cologne that reminded you of the ocean wafting into your nose as he drew near. His gaze beckoned you close without so much a word passing through his lips, and you felt his presence close in on the distance as he leaned against the railing. You softly batted your eyes, adjusting to your sense being overtaken by all things Minghao, mind just filled to the brim with Minghao, as if you couldn’t get enough of him.

“You’re really committed to being a good roommate. I respect that,” you stated, harshly gulping. “Honesty. Where can I start?”

“Well, what are you thinking about right now?” He asked, face mere inches away from you, lips so plush you let out a wistful sigh.

“I’m thinking that…it’s really hard to think with your face so close in front of me.”

Despite that, he didn’t move, and instead he pushed a lock of your hair behind your ear, brushing against your helix to feel your flustered warmth bloom between his fingers. “Fair enough. What else?”

You wrapped your hand around the railing, stabling yourself on the floor in hopes of not falling over on your two feet, your breath being stolen in real time by your roommate who was looking more and more inviting by the second.

“And if I knew any better, I’d think you're about to kiss me.”

“Let’s wager that then,” he said as he reeled even closer, his fingertips once in your ears now guiding your chin, letting the surface of your lips feel the ghost of his as your breaths mingled against one another. “You can predict one of two things. One, I kiss you. Or two, I pull away. You get a prize if your answer is correct.”

“How is that a fair wager? You can easily change your response depending on how I answer,” you pointed out, ultimately playing along.

“I won’t,” he reassured in a coaxingly smooth tone. “I’ve made my choice.”

You raised a brow, attempting to look only subtly intrigued when in reality you’ve let him enchant you. “What’s my prize?”

“Loser grants whatever the winner wishes.”

“That’s irresponsible.”

“Knowing you, your request would be far from unreasonable.”

“I’m talking about you.” You narrowed your eyes, swallowing at seeing him come at you so close. “But, okay. I’ll play.”

The corner of his lips lifted mischievously, tilting his head to the side as his eyes narrowed back at you. “So, what’s your answer?” 

Your eyes flickered up to him, rounded up in intrigue as you tried to follow his gaze. “You’ll…pull away. Public displays of affection are cute, but maybe not your cup of tea, at least not grand ones like kissing, unless maybe it’s one the cheek or on the forehead.”

He smiled and gently tilted his head, eyes piercing into yours and taking a sharp breath before pulling away, crossing his arms with a soft pout on his lips. “You’re good.”

You felt the sting of rejection despite your victory, as if you’d hoped you’d be wrong. That he’d take you right there against the railing and give you a fervid kiss that broke you down to your knees and you could even taste in your dreams, but a win was a win. A predicted loss was better than a false victory.

“I guess I won.”

He sighed defeatedly, crossing his arms. “You did. So tell me, what desire would you like for me to fulfill for you?”

You shuddered at his choice of words, clamping your legs together. “Well, what would you have wanted me to do if I got the answer wrong?”

“Is that your wish? For me to answer the question?”

You softly scoffed. “Don’t be so cheap.”

He rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his tea, “Doesn’t matter, you didn’t get it wrong. You get the wish. So go on, tell me your wish.”

“…Fine. Grant me your wish as if you had won.”

“You want me to grant my own wish? That defeats the entire purpose,” he chortled with knitted brows.

“It’s my wish, so come on. What’s your wish?”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“And we didn't have to place bets, but it doesn't seem like there’s any rules against it, so go ahead. Tell me.”

Minghao sucked his teeth before complying. “Fine.” 

He moved toward you, hands settling over your hips and settling you on the floor beneath your feet as he gravitated toward, steadying his gaze on you. His face, inches away from you, and your breath hitched in your throat as he drew his lips near your ear. You heard the subtle squelch of his tongue as they licked his teeth, moments before the wish he dared you to grant poured out from his lush lips. “My wish is for you to…make me tea every morning, afternoon, evening, and every time I ask you to. Like my little tea gremlin.”

“Now that’s just evil, Xu Minghao,” You protested, lightly shoving him off.

He laughed. “No, it’s not! Think of it like pour over coffee.”

“Don’t try romanticizing it like it’s anything like my beautiful beans. Tea is tea. Coffee is coffee.”

“It was your wish to grant my wish.”

“Can I take it back?” You whined.

“It’d be dishonorable.”

You groaned. “Fine.”

He chuckled, “Let’s go home, hmm?”

Heading back home, you were embraced by a warm comfortable silence. There was a kind of silence that sanctioned your amicable living arrangement with Minghao to turn into something warmer, feverish even, something that you can’t even help but notice and your hands would occasionally graze one another on the way back, taking turn exchanging timid glances at you walked your path home.

“That was fun,” You admitted, taking off your shoes at the front door.

“Yeah, I think so. We should do it more often.”

You smiled at each other’s reflections as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, seeing you take the same tube of toothpaste and started brushing your teeth. You smiled as he purposely bumped into you, raising his eyebrow as you stared pointedly at him in the mirror, not expecting you to retaliate with a light shove. Ensuing a nudging war, you attacked each other’s shoulders, getting caught in fits of giggles before you forced yourselves to split up, knowing nothing would get done if you both let it go on.

“Do you work tomorrow?” You asked through the gaping door of your room as he cleared a glass a water before bedtime, freshly out of a shower and the smell of his clean, light fragrance was beguiling even from a distance.

“Yeah. Do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Mmh.” He stalked over in your direction, a feign innocent smile on his lips. “That's too bad. We only really have nights like these together, it seems at least only for a little while.”

“It is,” You said, lathering up the last bit of lotion up your legs, feeling his eyes on you as they traveled the path of your hands.

The silence engulfed you, as if both of you were waiting for the other to make a sudden move, yet both of you remained still. Like a predator with its prey, unsure who was who, you both stood with uncertainty and palpable tension hanging in the air, waiting for the other to strike when the moment was right. Even the usually confident Minghao stood back as he observed you from a distance, eyes flickering over at you as you strided slowly towards him guarded with crossed arms.

“I guess, I’ll go to sleep now,” You finally said.

His gaze softened, nodding. “Okay,” he smiled, “good night.”

“Good night, Minghao. Sleep well.”

If only you had taken your own words to heart. 

That night, you couldn’t help but stare back at the ceiling, fiddling with the covers as the night’s events replayed in your head like a home movie, your thoughts traveling at a million miles a minute, too fast for you to stop and collect them—let alone process them—and stole your precious slumber. So, as you lay in bed awake at night, squeezing your eyes shut and waiting for the night to take you, waiting for the fatigue and sleep to come, it never arrived. Instead, your eyes ripped open, heart pounding in your chest as you sat up from the mattress and tore the covers off your body. Your legs pushed you off the bed and lifted yourself off, carrying yourself out the room and out the hallway with determined steps until faltering at the threshold of another front door before you softly knocked. 

You turned the knob, the door creaked open and you peeked your head through to see your roommate on the other end in bed, torso visibly bare as he slowly sat up at his late night intrusion. “Hey,” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “You’re up.”

“I think it’s the coffee,” you excused, clutching the edge of the door, “I can’t sleep.”

Wordlessly, he nodded, stretching an arm to beckon you towards him, and you slowly inched closer to him until you were completely under the covers. Occupying the space beside him, you nestled into the contours of his body as his arm cushioned the side of your head before facing one another, silence enveloping you. The only sound that bit into the silence was muted traffic, infinitely alive outside the walls of your confines. While it looked peaceful, and you felt as though you could melt into his arms, neither of you looked as if you were trying to sleep.

Rather, you stared at one another, making sleep even harder to attain as you traced every feature and took them in as if they were brushstrokes on a painting. Minghao may have worked with art every day, but he was a work of art in his own right, and you couldn’t help favor him above all others. You didn’t need a Van Gogh or Picasso, you had an original, a one of a kind Minghao.

And that’s when you saw his eyes begin to drift, lowering to the bottom half of your face, lips parting in intrigue as his breath fanned lightly against your cheeks. Your face flush in response, pushing your bottom lip between your teeth before they were caught, finding yourself doing the same with him and watching his mouth move in anticipation. You felt your pulse in your throat as much as you felt it between your legs, feeling arousal pooling and soaking your shorts.

“Do you want to wager another bet?” Minghao softly offered.

“What kind?” You breathed.

“The same bet, same prize. Do you think I’ll kiss you, or will I pull away?”

You mused at him, fingers extending toward him reluctantly, aiming for a lock of his hair laying stray on his forehead before smoothing it over his head, softly stroking him, feeling him lean into your touch. “Hmm, this time you’ll…kiss me,” you whispered with absolute certainty. “The tension is practically eating you alive.”

A grin stretched wide across his cheeks as a hand softly clasped over your face, thumb swiping across your cheek. “Right again.”

He closed the gap, slotting his lips between yours and languidly moving against you, letting you chase after his pace. You sighed against him, feeling his hand on your hip as he pulled your torso against his, the other rested against the nape of your neck as he reveled in your heat. Hands flying in his hair, you softly moaned as he kneaded your skin, feeling him trace the inside of your mouth with his tongue before he roughly pulled your weight from the mattress to topple you over him, letting your legs card between his.

“Minghao,” you quietly sounded against his lips, crushing your hips against his groin and hearing his sweet moan in response.

His muscles tensed as you pressed against him, while his legs clung to your thighs. His hands ran over the shape of your figure, unearthing an ungodly moan from your lips as he slipped beneath your shorts, etching over the curve of your ass and claiming your raw flesh in his hands, pushing you against him assertively.

You whimpered, grinding against him. “I know my wish.”

“Anything,” He tenderly mumbled.

“Call off work tomorrow.”

He smiled against your lips, bringing one of his knees to pin your bodies closer together. “Means you should too.”

“Oh, definitely,” You confirmed before reconnecting your mouths in a frenzied liplock.

Feeling the grind of your hips as his pelvis crushed against yours, his grunts slipped through every caress as his hand moved up your back. Soon, you started feeling something you had yet to see from Minghao in all your time living with him, the part of him you managed to evade but have envisioned a multitude of times, growing in his sweatpants and rubbing against your thigh the closer your bodies were.

“I have never wanted someone so bad,” He whispered in a soft ache. 

His hands crept underneath your shirt, brushing against your skin, pressing against the small of your back. Pressing his torso towards you, his erection adhered to your thigh, the tension coiling in your stomach burned like wildfire, at an unstoppable rage. “Minghao,” you mewled, impatience singeing on your tongue.

“Somehow, I can still taste coffee on your breath, but I don't really mind it. It tastes really good on you,” He admitted before kissing you deeper, his moans buzzing against your mouth, hungry and alive as his hands dug into your flesh with utter greed.

“You taste really good too.” Your hand body scoured south, cupping his size under your palm and tasting his gasp as you sucked him between your lips. “I wonder what else tastes good.”

“You are something else,” he mumbled, through quiet chuckles. “Just like you to act on impulse.”

You let out a light scoff. “You are so—”

“Don’t start things you can’t finish,” he softly warned with a smirk.

“I’m not the one you have to worry about finishing.”

You moved down, the covers draped over your head as you kept your eyes on him and resting on the hem of his sweats. Minghao’s breath hitched in his throat, gulping while he felt your nails lightly claw against his bare torso, tugging the waistband off the tent he forged, revealing the lack of underwear and restraint he had left, now sprung against your face.

“Shit,” you said grinning, claiming him by the shaft, thumbing over the precum glistening at the tip. “Even your cock looks pretty.”

A soft pink decorated his cheeks and a hand meekly shielded part of his face. “You staring is how I got myself hurt in the first place.”

“Then I’ll be careful not to hurt you this time—that is, unless you want me to.”

You spat on his cock, a translucent ribbon stretching from your tongue to his length. Your saliva lubing your knuckles, you squeezed his girth in your grip as you stroked and felt him pulse in your hands, growing bigger the tighter you clenched. Minghao’s arms propped himself up and behind him as his chest heaved, blood pumping with every drag of your fingers, shallow breaths slipping out of him as he fisted the sheets beneath him.

You kissed the curve of the head, lips pursed to wrap lightly around him, suckling down his shaft, and feeling him twitch against your mouth when you chuckled. He softly whined, his hand extended toward you to tenderly caress the side of your head and tacitly pleading with you as you teased him. Showing him mercy, you took him with an eager mouth, closing your lips around his cock as you steadied your gaze on him. Moans vibrating around his girth, your tongue tucked on the underside of his shaft, hands wrapped tightly around his base.

“Mmmh like that.” He swallowed, exhaling through his teeth the deeper you took him. His abdomen flexing overtly as you moaned around him, vibrated against his skin, your pink muscle tracing over his veins as you worked your jaw to hug a tighter grip. “God, you’re perfect. Don’t stop, please…” he panted.

He palmed at your hair headily, his motor skills not properly functioning as he sucked in his breath, feeling his presence explore deeper. He leveraged his hips to regain some ounce of control, but the sounds of moisture and squelching burned his ears, and the heart in his chest was running like a marathon. His eyes, fluttering in and out of focus, trained his gaze on you while his stomach tensed, grasping the vision of you getting wide-eyed and bold as you gingerly ate him alive. Burning the image into his retinas, it made him want to explode inside you.

Threading through your hair, he pulled them up and off your shoulders, showing off your pretty features, doing everything in his power not to give his climax an early appearance. “I’ve never seen such a pretty mouth take my cock so well. Then again, I’ve never had a pretty roommate like you, or anyone like you.”

Flustered from the flattery, you sucked him like your life depended on it as you grew hot, making Minghao’s task to regain control strenuous to achieve. You hollowed out your cheeks, leaving no room to breathe, and felt him in your throat as your vision rolled to behind your skull to the point your language deduced to the sounds of gagging. You gripped his hips, nails plunged into his flesh as your drool dribbled down his groin, slobbering over his cock in an erratic, hungry mess.

“Yes, like that. My god,” He praised through ragged breaths, hips jerking gently up into you. He lightly threw his head back, the urge to ram himself down your throat getting exceedingly more tempting, but he suppressed it as he dug his nails into his own palms. “I’m so close to cumming, can I–in your mouth or should I…?”

You hummed a confirmation before you swallowed him whole until you met the base, meeting his groin as he vanished inside you, breathing oxygen not even an afterthought. Images in front of you dulled in color, pictures shapeless and unclear, and you pushed past your boundaries to let him find home in your mouth, deeply intent with him finishing inside you one way or the other.

“F…f…fuck...”

Pleasure rippling through him, Minghao pushed himself up from his position, thrusting weakly as he cradled your head, pouring his thick, ivory load into your mouth, which was insistent on receiving every drop. He filled your cheeks, allowing warmth to coat the inside of your mouth as he tenderly stroked your hair in gratitude. Cupping your cheeks as he let his hips falter, he gently pulled himself out of your mouth, amused at how carefully you were trying to not let any of his cum seep past your lips as you sat between his legs.

His fingers danced under your chin. “Are you gonna swallow?” Minghao tiredly chuckled.

With smiling eyes, you tilted your head, as if asking if you should.

He pushed your hair behind you, softly pressing his lips against your tightly shut lips. “Don’t if you don’t want to.”

An idea occurred to you then, and in an instant you pushed yourself up to board him as your knees took either side of him, looming over him. His hands naturally found your waist as you lifted his chin, eyes staring at you curiously as his hands ran up body and gently clawed down, awaiting your next move. You then thumbed over his bottom lip before dipping between the slit of his mouth and saw it naturally part, taking the digit and settling it between his teeth.

Now confidently, you lowered your head, swirling the contents in your mouth before pushing your thumb deeper, prying the entrance wider, and finding no protest as he sanctioned it. He dug the pads of his digits into your flesh in anticipation. His eyes fluttering, he watched as your mouth withdrew the generous gift he gave to you before you gave it right back to him as it gracefully streamed down on his pulsing, eager tongue. And nothing satisfied you more than hearing him sigh wistfully as it landed.

It sent you shivers how beautiful he looked despite how vulgar the act was. Only Xu Minghao could make tasting his own cum look so ethereal, and it only made you wonder what other things a face this beautiful was willing to do. You swiped whatever fell from the corner of his lips with your thumb, sucking the residue like leftovers before you connected your mouths, sharing and tasting his lewd tang in violent swirls, and pulling away to watch it stretch between your tongues.

“I guess toothbrushes aren’t the only things you like to share,” Minghao teased before pushing you on your back, grinding his resurrecting arousal against your clothed heat and lathering the thick, viscous substance flat between your tongues in your mouths as it dribbled down your chins until there was nothing but slobber. It was a mess, and the most unmannerly you’ve ever seen him, and you’ve never been more turned on.

“My turn.”

With a rough hand, he tugged you by your legs towards him, hearing you let out a yelp, and shoved down your shorts to expose your glistening, mouth-watering, arousal soaked entrance. Be still his heart. He felt himself throb seeing you ruin his bed, but hell if he wasn't going to be sucking those juices out of the sheets until he’d tasted every drop.

He kicked off his sweats, leaving him entirely vulnerable while you witnessed his cock slowly twitch back to life before he laid on his stomach between your arched legs. “If we want to talk about pretty things, your pussy is high up on that list.”

Not waiting for a response, he licked a thick stripe up your inner thigh, flickering over your folds before sucking them in his mouth, using the tip of his tongue to tease your entrance. He felt the flutter of your core before spitting, lathering at the juices, coating at entrance but not peeking to see what was inside. “You’re already so wet, fuck.” 

“Hao…” You whined.

“Mmmh, I love how you sound,” he chuckled, running long strokes up your slit, wedged through you with every swipe, looking arm around your leg to hold you in place as his thumb brushed over your clit. “Are your moans always this delicious? Or are they reserved for when you’re thinking about me?” 

Shaking your head, you were too turned on to answer verbally, while his mouth closed around your clit and sucked, utilizing his fingers to assume their previous position. You clenched your stomach, fisting into the sheets as you spread your legs, feeling them already clam up from the tension as his tongue flicked against your sensitive bud in unison with his fingers twisted up into, and you couldn’t help but writhe underneath him.

“Yes, spread those pretty legs for me,” he encouraged with a haughty smile before burying his face, his moans vibrating up your walls as his tongue massaged your walls and tasted your cock pulsing nectar, sending chills up your spine.

You mewled, and feeling reserved, you held your hands up to your face to shield the tears collecting at your eyes threatening to fall, but Minghao grabbed you by the wrists, roughly pinning them to the bed.

His eyes narrowed back at you before softening almost menacingly, “Don’t cover your pretty face, watch me.”

“But—”

“I want you to watch me fuck your pretty pussy with my mouth. Don’t make me say it twice.” He warned before he got you a quiet nod, earning you a kiss against your inner thigh.

His hand flattened against your inner thighs again, pressing them further away from another and delving his tongue deeper as he rubbed your clit, working your insides until he tasted every inch of you possible. He buried his face, but his eyes were clear, staring at you as he worked his jaw, engorging with his mouth that sent you above and beyond and his eyes that saw you at the result of your undoing. You had no choice but to cling on, freeing yourself from his grasp to have your fingers fly in his hair, navigating him as you took him for a joy ride, his tongue shifting gears as it picked up pace.

“S-shit!” You rolled your hips, threading your fingers through his locks and clamping his head between your thighs as you pushed him deeper.

“Yes, ride my face—fuck, use me, please,” he pleaded in a cracked voice, pouring his heart into his feast until he was practically suffocating, worth it to worship you and bring you to the highest peak of your pleasure.

Your legs trembled as his moans infiltrated your heat, the intense flicks of his tongue titillating you to the brink of ecstasy until he used it to fuck you in time with his fingers thrusting inside, clutching you as you held him in place and grinding against him. “My god, Hao!”

Hips shaking, you bucked into his mouth, and even after your release, he made no effort to stop, lifting you to his mouth as he got on his knees, eating you like a meal he’d never have again until he worked his tongue raw, tasting you and only you as your cum coated his mouth. You squirmed, the suction of his lips on your sensitive core in tandem with his tongue viciously swirling inside you overwhelming you beyond words, unable to kick him off as he held both your knees above his head.

“You’re gonna kill me, Hao,” you cried desperately. “Just put it in me.”

He chuckled before setting you down, meeting your lips halfway as he stroked his fully erect cock, massaging the evening’s concoction against your tastebuds, mingling the contrasting flavors as they battled in your mouth while the knowledge of it all pebbled your skin. Meanwhile, he ran his hands over you beneath your shirt, found your nipples, rolling them against his thumbs as his cock rubbed between your folds, ebbing your moans as they buzzed against his lips. “What if I want to play with you first?” He taunted.

You whined, brushing your lips repeatedly over his. “I want you inside me.”

“You’re cute even when you’re needy,” he gushed.

You clasped your hands over his soft, warm cheeks. “Minghao, please…”

He playfully rolled his eyes, kissing into your palm then down your wrist before his teeth playfully started nibbling at your skin. “Fine, because you asked so nicely. Just to let you know, though, I don’t have a condom on me right now, but I’m clean.”

“Then, we don’t need one.”

He grinned, stroking the back of your head. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”

Rubbing his tip down your slit, he savored your whimpers as he drew circles against your clit before sliding his length through your folds and stretching your walls, letting you slowly adjust to his presence. Your jaw slightly dropped as you took a sharp inhale, fingers digging into his shoulders and clinging on to him before you felt him sink deeper inside you, pacing his thrusts in a steady rhythm. Your eyes flit to meet his, feeling the back and forth of his hips as they snapped, while you reveled in each collision.

“Yes please…”

Before losing himself in his pleasure, he was determined to remember how you looked getting lost in yours, taking in your features as they distorted under his care. He first found your eyes–lost in a galaxy with an infinite amount of stars out of the way. Then, his eyes started to follow the slope of your cheeks, flushed to the touch against the back of his hand, saliva leaking out of your swollen lips. And your body with the shirt adhered to you by the sweat on your skin, clinging to your form and proving to him time and time again that you were not only the object of his desires, you were something straight out of his dreams.

“You look, taste, and feel good? Where have you been all my life? Really?” He landed a harsh thrust, pressing down on your nipples and smiling manically at how you whimpered in response, clutching you as you shuddered against him. “You like that?”

You nodded, clawing your hand up his back.

“Mmh, me too,” he drew his lips to your ear. “And I like you. A lot. I wouldn’t let someone go on and use my toothbrush for months if I didn’t.” He slowed down his thrusts, cupping your face to meet your eyes. “You like me too, right?”

Feeling your ears burn, you frantically nodded again, mewling after you felt him nip at them, teeth scraping under your earlobe before an open mouth pressed against the side of your neck. The warmth of his breath sweltering against you as you struggled to carry on with the conversation Minghao was determined to have.

“Yeah, you want me to take you on a real date?” He said into the nape of your neck, moaning into your skin as he dragged his hips, rutting into you like an animal.  He barely made out your soft ‘yes’s in your sharp gasps. He gritted his teeth, taking you by the hips, pushing himself flushed against you. “Fuck, you’re so cute,” he groaned.

His hips took flight while he separated your mouth in a loud moan, feeling you becoming malleable under his touch and growing weaker as you recoiled against him. He lifted your shirt above your chest and neared your stiff peaks, rolling your bud against the base of his tongue as he pinched the other, moving out of pure instinct. You threw your head back, going mad with sexual gratification. Your body spasmed out of your control, yet you craved more.

“Harder,” You gasped.

He scoffed under his breath in disbelief. “You want even more?”

“Yes…I want you to cum inside me. I want to feel everything that’s yours, Minghao.”

Knees buckling at your titillating request, he gripped your ass in both palms, clutching you against him as he rammed himself up inside you, and you’re forced to hold on. “I’ll do you one better,” he offered, “why don’t I just make you mine?”

“I…Oh, god…” Your brain was becoming mush, only processing the sound, taste, smell, sensation of Minghao’s cock as he plunged himself inside you. It fogged up your thoughts, clouded your judgement, and only formed incoherent gibberish that took place of real vocabulary as they passed through your swollen lips.

“Be mine, hmm?” He asked, pleading. “That way I can be yours.”

Captivated by his words, you nodded, feeling him suck the life out of you as your body felt close to giving out, the hilt of his cock bottoming out inside you. You anchored your legs around him, following his pace before you felt something within reach, just seconds away from ripping a scream out of your throat that would surely ensue a noise complaint from one of your neighbors.

“Hao, I’m going to cum, I’m really close,” you meekly warned.

His hand settled against your thigh, nodding. “I can feel it. You’re shaking so hard. Let me have it, I’ll catch you. Every last bit of you.”

Ecstasy was just a word, but Minghao was everything, and you could breathe in that everything. 

Your bodies crushed against each other, lost in heat as you became one. Breaths blended, bodies embraced, only faltering after you long finished the initial orgasms, coming back for more. You embraced  the sheer carnivorous lust that quelled this several month long push and pull, adhering you by the sweat misted on each other's skin before your mouths tenderly met repeatedly.

Sleep felt futile, while the night felt everlasting. Minghao’s company was more than you could ever ask for, and by the time you did sleep, you were too tired to move. You collapsed against each other, bodies drowning in each other’s releases, sheets and pillows stained by the arousal from the evening’s lack of inhibitions. Minghao should’ve been just as tired, but instead he tended to your tired body, leaving kisses in its wake as he cleaned you off and slept alongside you in your clean bed, letting him worry about laundry in the morning.

With your eyes closed, mind in another world, Minghao was brushing the hair away from your face, softly smiling as you gently stirred and nestled closer to him. In response, he pressed a sweet kiss to your temple, warmth blooming in his chest as a grin developed on your face.

“I’ll take you on a proper date. I promise,” he said while you slept. “And If I don’t, pull the bad roommate card on me. You can punish me however you like.”

“…ok, I will.”

[nerdygirlramblings]

Hear me out:

Romantic evening with our boys. Making pizza, watching a romantic movie, just cuddling all evening long.

Jonny, all the ever horny guy, starts and it ends with smut. Lots of smut but reader started her period without knowing. They're shocked and first but when reader starts crying, they quick to comfort her.

(I need comfort too. And I'm literally this close 🤏 to rip my uterus out my body)

Thank you for the ask, anon! I had to dig deep for this one because while I enjoy reading the spicy I don't usually write the spicy. I hope this is what you were looking for.

cw: bad accents, vaginal fingering, unprotected PIV, menstruation, rainbow kisses (iykyk)

Ever since you started dating the 141, Friday nights were date nights for you and whomever of your boys were home. Whichever soldier isn't out on a mission gets to pick the event, and if more than one of the boys is around, they each plan something for the group. Their thought was they are so often gone they want to woo you right when they're here.

But the Fridays you love best are when all of your boys are home because that's when you get to plan the date. Tonight happens to be one of those Fridays.

The boys are on base while you make preparations for tonight. You planned to finally use the pizza oven on John's grill. You spend the morning making dough, setting aside double portions for your soldiers and their appetites.

As the day wears on, you head to Sainsbury's for the rest of your ingredients. You get the supplies to make red sauce from scratch and a small jar of pesto for Kyle who sometimes likes to experiment. You know if he doesn't use it tonight, you'll simply make pesto pasta another time. A fresh block of soft mozzarella lands in the trolley. You know Johnny will enjoy happily shreds it for you when he gets home. A jar of olives, some green peppers, and a red onion from produce all go in next. Then you're off to find rashers, gammon, bangers, and pepperoni. You know at least one pizza will end up being more meat than anything else.

When you get back to the car park, you don't bother putting the bags in the boot. You lean over and drop them onto the floor of the passenger side as you slide behind the wheel. A quick stop at the florist for a small bouquet, and you're home again.

The house is tidy, but you freshen things up anyway. You need something to keep you busy as you wait for your men to come home. You set out some Yorkshire pudding and kilted soldiers as a pre-dinner snack, but not too much. You're cognizant of how quickly Johnny will stuff his face with whatever's nearby and not save room for supper. You pull down the large popcorn tubs and set aside the oil and kernels to make popcorn after dinner. You slide Love, Rosie into the Blu-Ray player and cue up the main title.

You have just enough time before your men come home to get yourself cleaned up. You'd showered in the morning, so you focus on fixing your hair and makeup. A pink and blue floral skater dress has been hanging the back of your wardrobe for weeks, and tonight's the perfect night to throw it on and show it off. As you're screwing the cap back into your lip gloss, you hear Simon's voice call out for you.

Light feet and a joyful heart carry you down the hall to the foyer. You step into Simon's open arms, cleaving yourself tightly to him. He's only just back from a mission that lasted almost a month. You kiss him softly, and he pulls away far too soon for your liking. If it were anyone else, you'd be embarrassed by the whine that escapes when he pulls back and rests his forehead against yours. Instead, he looks at you and says, "Missed you, luv."

You move from man to man greeting each in turn. From John, who's been back and forth between Hereford and bases in places he can't tell you about, to Johnny, who was on the first part of Simon's mission but came home when Simon was sent elsewhere, to Kyle, who's been behind a desk for the last few weeks as he recovers from nearly falling out of the helicopter. Each gets a hug and a kiss and a whispered welcome home.

You're sure when Kyle is better, Laswell will send them all out somewhere. As it is, you've heard John fielding her calls late in the evening when he tries to hide it from you. For now, you plan to simply savor having your men home.

"Go on, wash up," you chide, shooting them from the foyer to the cloakroom. "Meet me in the kitchen when you're done."

It only takes a few quick strides until you're in the room in question, making sure that all the toppings are ready, that the sauce is cool enough to use, and that each dough ball has its own pizza pan. Each of the men join you in the kitchen mere moments later.

You don't miss the gleam in Johnny's eye as he looks at the flour. He cuts a glance at Kyle, and you clear your throat, crossing your arms as menacingly as you can. "We will not be intentionally making a mess of my kitchen," you state, looking between Johnny and Kyle. "Are we clear sergeants?"

Shock flits across Johnny's face and he looks back at Kyle who simply shrugs. The two men glance at John who, like you, has crossed his arms in front of him and is ready to glare them into submission. "I'm waiting, boys," you remind them.

Kyle responds quickly. "No mess. We heard you'd, doll." To which John adds, "Aye, ma'am. Keeping the kitchen spick and span."

"Excellent," you say. Then you pass out aprons and tell your men, "I'd rather not scrub flower out of anyone's clothes, either, so put these on." There's a chorus of "Yes, ma'am." You can tell at a glance the only one happy about the apron is John, who's got his usual 'License to Kill Grill' apron on. However, the others don't fight you, and soon everyone's ready to make their meal.

You show them all how to turn the dough balls into flat crust and head out into the garden to turn the grill on. The pizza oven is set up according to the directions, and you want to ensure it's ready to go once all the pizzas are prepared.

When you come back into the kitchen, all four men have at least one crust ready, and Simon and Kyle are working on their seconds. You quickly put Johnny to work shredding the cheese into a large bowl and show everyone where the sauces are. Much to your delight, Kyle smiles widely at the jar of pesto on the counter. The cheese is ready once everyone has sauce on their dough, so everyone grabs a heaping handful. You point out where the other toppings are and let the boys design their dinners as you take your pizza out to the oven.

Each man brings you their pan when it's ready and they stand around chatting with you while the food cooks. You pull the first round of pizzas out and send John in to put everything out on plates and slice them. You put Kyle's and Simon's and Johnny's second pizzas in, then head into the kitchen to eat.

You slide into the open seat next to Simon and join the pleasant chatter. John pulls three tumblers and the bottle of Scotch Mrs. MacTavish sent at the holidays out of the cupboard. He pours two fingers for himself, Simon, and Johnny. Kyle pulls the top off a bottle of Carlsbad lager, pulling a long draught before setting it in front of him. Johnny places a glass of rose at your place.

Between bites of pizza, you fill the boys in on the gossip from work and hear some edited stories of Simon and Johnny's ops and John's base visits. Kyle chimes in with complaints about base staff.

You pop out to the grill for the second round of pizzas, bringing everyone but John their food. You and John both opted for one pizza and are both enjoying the meal and the company.

When everyone is full, Simon and Kyle pack up the unused toppings, John clears the table, and Johnny puts the large cast iron skillet on the hob. You stay in the kitchen with Johnny while the others head into the den. He pours a generous helping of oil in the pan and tosses the kernels on when it warms. It doesn't take long for the kernels to pop, and despite knowing what will happen, it still startles you.

Johnny chuckles at you, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Ah got ye," he says, nuzzling your neck. He reaches over, snags a kernel and holds it out. When you lean forward to take it from him, he pulls it back. "Uh-huh," he teased. "Close your eyes."

You obey, but instead of the warm, salty, buttery crunch of popcorn, Johnny's tongue invades your mouth. He swallows your moans, whispering, "Could a laid yerself on the table an' we would'a feasted, lass." He pulls away, an obscene sucking accompanying the motion. Your heart jackhammers in your chest. You're about to suggest skipping the movie when several voices call from the other room.

"Let's... let's, er, go join the others," you pant, quickly dumping the popcorn into tubs to carry in.

By the time you and Johnny make it to the den, Kyle and John are sprawled together on the sofa, and Simon's taking up the recliner. You and Johnny head to the loveseat, and he pulls you down into his lap.

Before the open credits finish, Johnny's nuzzling your neck and whispering more filth in your ear. "Ah cannae wait to fuck ye tonight, hen." "Gonna split ye open on mah cock 'til ye scream." "Yer cunt is the sweetest dessert. When can Ah have a taste?" The longer the film goes on, the wetter you get until you're squirming on Johnny's lap, hoping you aren't obvious to the others.

The heavy weight of Johnny's hand slips from your waist to your hips, and eventually, under your skirt. His fingers slip under the gusset of your panties and you gasp. "Shh," he coos. "Dinnae want to interrupt the film."

He slides one finger along your slit, teasing you before breaching your core. You groan low, and Johnny rumbles, "Yer so wet," into the skin beneath your ear. "Watch the movie, lass. Ye picked it special."

With one long finger in your pussy, Johnny's thumb presses hard on your clit, and you see stars. "Would rather," you pant, "focus on," another panted breath, "those talented fingers."

Johnny lightly bites down on your neck and shoves another finger into your pussy. You clamp down at the unexpected intrusion, and Johnny's thumb ruba little circles on your clit. Between the sucking on your neck, the fingers in your cunt, and the pressure on your clit, you climax quickly, biting your lip to keep from letting the rest of the room know what happened.

But when you glance at your other lovers, they're staring avariciously at you and where Johnny's hand disappears under your dress. Johnny shifts behind you, clearly turning to see the others. "Who wan's a taste?"

Kyle's off the sofa in a shot, kneeling on the floor next to Johnny. Johnny pulls his hand out from under your dress to press his slick-coated fingers into Kyle's waiting mouth. You glance down to watch and notice Johnny's fingers are covered in blood. You suck in a breath and grab his wrist. It hits you immediately what's happened.

"Johnny! Stop!" You look down and see Kyle's gaze land on the blood. He leans back and nearly falls down.

"Doll, wha'..." John and Simon are watching intently, and you want the ground to open under you.

You take a deep breath and cover your face with your hands. You can't bring yourself to look at any of them. "I think I got my period early." You spring off Johnny's lap and hurry down to your bedroom, trying not to cry. In your room, you strip out of your dress and see a small red spot on the seat of the skirt.

Before you can spiral into embarrassment, there's a knock behind you. You're standing stark naked, but there's no heat in his gaze when John looks at you. You bite your lip to stifle a cry, but the tears are welling up. "Aww, shh," John says. "'c'mere." He comes over to you and wraps his arms around your bare middle. "Dove, we're soldiers. We're not scared of a little blood." You don't think he realizes he's gently swaying you as he talks. It's soothing.

"But that's different, John," you whine. "This blood, this is dirty."

"Hush," he snaps. "Nothin' 'bout ya is dirty." He tucks your head under his chin and kisses your hair. "Ya think this makes us wan' ya any less?" He pulls back and taps your chin until you meet his solid blues. "Say the word an' all a' them'd be linin' up to fuck ya." He moans a little. "Can only imagine how good it would feel, yer cunt coated in somethin' even hotter than regular slick. Ya should hear Johnny out their praisin' yer pussy."

You feel heat rush up your neck and into your cheeks. "You really," you take a deep breath, "you don't think it's gross?"

The answer doesn't come from above you but from behind. "Nothin' you do is gross, luv," you hear Simon say. Now you know he's there, he isn't quiet about crossing the room. His large, calloused hands dwarf your hips when he pulls you tight against him. "I'd let ya ride my face for the pleasure of gettin' ya off, blood an' piss an' all."

It should disgust you, but you swoon a bit instead. You turn in his hands. "I can't believe you're okay with this."

"What's there not to be okay with?" Kyle's voice asks from the doorway. You look over Simon's shoulder and see him leaning against the jamb with smudge of blood on his lip.

"Kyle, what happened?" You know you sound panicked, but you can't reign it in. "You have..." You motion to your own mouth.

Kyle ducks his head and rubs his hand over the shorn back of his hair. "I, er, maybe still sucked your slick off Johnny's fingers." He catches your eye. "Any taste of you is worth it."

You're shocked at his admission. Before you can say anything, you hear Johnny's voice in the hallway. "Ye cannae start without me!" He barrels into the room and you notice a sheet of red on his lips.

"What?"

He flushes and admits, "Ah kissed Gaz ta see how ye tasted, since Ah couldnae taste from the source."

You're dumbfounded. Nothing in their demeanor tracks with what you've been told. When you were thirteen, Mum said your period was "a necessary evil." In school, the teachers spoke of biology and creating a space for new live, and while it wasn't disgusting, it wasn't appealing either. All your previous partners found other things to do with other friends when you had your period. But looking around at the faces of your lovers, all you can see is love and desire. There is no disgust, no revulsion, no recoiling.

"Dove?" John's voice breaks you from your reverie. He stands beside you and Simon still again, but now he'd discarded his shirt. The top button of his trousers is undone, and you could see his cloth-covered erection straining the zipper. You understand immediately what he's asking, and you dip your head once.

Arms scoop you up and deposit you in the bed. You're surprised by the scratchy feeling beneath you. You run your hand over it and realize it's a bath towel. A bark of laughter escapes you. "You boys pivoted quick, huh?"

John leans over you, growling in your ear. "We wan' ta enjoy ya. And even more, we wan' ya ta enjoy yerself." His hands ghost up and down your sides, the touch featherlight. "I'm gunna kiss ya now, dove."

"Okay," you reply breathlessly. John's kiss is possessive, tongue sweeping into your mouth to claim you as one beefy hand strokes over your curves. His lips start against yours and slowly drift to your neck, your collarbone, your sternum, your stomach, and finally right above your bush. He looks up and meets your gaze, holding it as he dips further down to like a stripe up your slit.

When he pulls back, you see the bright burst of red on the top of his tongue. Then he plants his face in your cunt, tonguing your hole and sucking on your clit. You start thrashing only to feel the bed dip at your hip. Simon and his big hands are back, one heavy on your hip to keep your bucking down, the other running softly along John's head as he slurps obscenely at your sopping, bloody pussy.

John's pursuit of your pleasure is relentless. There is no edging tonight, no long drawn-out teasing. He is a Captain through and through, and tonight's mission is your orgasm. Before long your muscles clench, and the tension in your core snaps. You're twitching on the bed, breathing slowly to bring your heart rate down, when you look down to see John's beard covered in a milky red mixture of blood and cum.

He rubs a hand down his beard, collecting some of the mixture, then holds his hand to Simon. With his eyes holding yours, Simon leans over and licks the mess on John's hand before Johnny shoves him back to get another, more potent taste of you.

You're so distracted by Simon and Johnny fighting over the remains of your taste on John's skin, John has moved nearer to your hip, and Kyle's slotted himself into the space between your thighs. His long, lithe fingers smooth themselves across your thighs, hips, and stomach. "Can I?" he whispers.

Despite the other men sitting at your hip, you respond with a whispered, "Yes."

Kyle pushes himself to the hilt in one fell swoop. He doesn't hold back how he feels. "Fuck, doll, didn't know you could feel better," he grinds out. He waits a moment for you to adjust until he, like John, chases your pleasure. Each of Kyle's thrust is a long slow retreat before slamming home. He has one hand resting on your mons, thumb just lightly over your overstimulated clit. Every time his hips slam home, Kyle puts a lot more pressure against your clit. Soon he loses his rhythm, thrusts becoming erratic, fingers pulsing against your clit. You climax as he does, and when he pulls out you aren't sure if the liquid that follows us blood or cum, and if the latter, whose.

He flops beside you and throws an arm over his face as you disassociate. You hear Johnny whine and Kyle chuckle, and when you look over, Johnny's on his knees, Kyle's cock in his mouth. There's a lurid ring of red at Kyle's base that Johnny's spit makes messier.

Your eyes slip closed, and you feel the bed continue moving under you. Glancing on your other side you see Simon on his knees, John slamming into him. You catch Simon's eye and shift on the bed to kiss him. John pauses his movements enough to keep Simon from accidentally collapsing on you. After a moment, John grunts. You know he can't keep holding back, so you slide away from Simon to let John continue. Several thrusts later and John's sweaty form is draped against Simon's back.

You hear Kyle's choked moan and know he's close. Johnny has one arm perpendicular to Kyle's hips, pinning him in place while his other is below the edge of the bed. You're sure he's stripping his cock to match his mouth's movements on Kyle. When Kyle cums, Johnny swallows everything down, only a drop beading on his lip. He sees you looking, and instead of licking it away, he leans over to let you lick it off. When you sweep your tongue into his mouth, searching out the taste of him under the flood of Kyle, Johnny slips his cock into your warm, wet cunt. He thrusts half a dozen times before cumming, shouting your name. He's careful not to drop his weight on you, instead falling into the space next to you and tucking you against his larger frame.

You know you need to clean yourself up, especially if you don't want too much blood on the towels or sheets, but you're too blissed out to worry.

Date nights with all your boys are the ones you like best.

[axetivev]

🪽 First timer!

~ Summary : You and Dick have been dating for a while, and your friends often teased you for still being a virgin. And in courage you to have sex with your boyfriend.

~ Warnings : SMUT! Minors DNI!, Rough sex, Nipple play, Reader is a virgin, Dick wears his suit when having sex, Bottom!Reader, Top!Dick.

~ Words : 758

~ A/N : A second fic for you guys, don't mind me spoiling you, I hope everyone who reads this fic enjoyed it as much as I enjoy making this Valentine's special. Happy Valentine's, everyone!

~ Pairing : Dick Grayson x Male Reader

Click here for the Jason Valentine's!

Dick Grayson, who doesn’t know him? Everyone knew him! He’s the sunshine. An absolute gentleman around people. Especially around his boyfriend, this being you. You swore everyone was looking at you when Dick was asked about relationships.

It’s not a bad thing, but it could be annoying at most. Who wouldn’t get pissed if when you mind your own business then a friend of your boyfriend suddenly asked you how he was in bed because of his name? You two never have such intimacy before. You are sure Dick isn’t a virgin, but you are. Tired with the teasing. You took matters to your own hands.

You were waiting inside of your apartment, cooking Dick’s favorite meal with nothing but an apron suggested by your friends to get some steps ahead. When the window of your apartment was knocked, from the outside. Nighwing stood tall, without thinking you opened the window letting him in. Appearance, the Vigilante looked fine, no wounds nor anything need of heavy concerns. However…

Dick’s breathing was heavy, expression darkened seeing you. You simply thought his patrol was rough, and trying to ask to have sex with Dick would maybe be a bad idea. You simply smiled at your boyfriend, holding his suited hand.

“I’m cooking your favorite, you can sit while waiting.” You said before letting go of Dick’s hand, turning back to the stove.

There it was.

Your completely bare back, ass exposed, the back of your body exposing it’s glory, and the most vulnerable part—your neck all clean. Dick flinched his fist, trying to held back his self-control. This silence isn’t what Dick usually is, you turned your head, meeting those blue eyes which darkened with lust. When yours filled with worry.

“Dick..?” You called him, and something inside Dick snapped.

You were on the standing close to the stove, cutting some vegetables Dick towered you from behind. Quickly turning off the stove, he admired your ass—touching the flesh so lovingly and firm at the same time before giving it a firm squeeze, making you yelped.

“Bend down.” Dick’s voice filled by command, making your cock twitched and immediately bending down.

Your sight was mouth watering, for the Vigilante, while his hands swiftly untied your apron. Dick admire your form, having such of a beautiful body that have been hidden from his grasp, you heard a sweet—chuckle from him, turning your head back. You saw Dick smirking.

“D’wa… you really are prepared, aren’t you babe?” He said as you felt two fingers inserted into your hole, making you whimper. Arching your back to feel more, your only response was a nod which made Dick’s smirk widened.

Your eyes just never left Dick, his tight suit framing every muscle of his body, every muscle was visible—especially Dick’s bulge under his suit, he didn’t even give a second thought to undo his lower part of his suit as his cock freed, hitting your buttocks. Spitting his cock for a lube before grabbing your waist.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Dick asked. “Y–yeah…” You replied with a quiet tone, quieter then you expect.

With a single swift, Dick’s dick was in, you felt your legs trembling like jelly feeling Dick inside of you. He make sures that you were fine for him to move, but before he could, you thrusted your hips back, fucking yourself with Dick’s cock like a needy slut. Dick just chuckled, bending down while his hands moved to your nipple, teasing them, pinching them. You know it, with every pinch your thrust yourself faster. Learning quickly then you expect. You watch 1-2 videos worth of porn, you thought you’d be bad at it. But you were better then you thought, able to make Dick moan with lust made your cheek flushed.

“Going great, babe…” Dick murmured against your ear before nibbling the flesh, before his lips trailed to your nape, leaving hot kisses and marks. You felt your cock twitched.

“D–Dick… I’m—im gonna—!” “Cum for me, M/N.” His voice was raw, you stopped your movements, only for Dick thrusting.

Fast and rough.

Your eyes rolled back, letting out a loud—vocal moan, your cock spits out cum, an amount you didn’t even saw by how much pleasure you were in as Dick reached his climax as well. Painting your hole with his cum, nearly making you felt full while his head rested on your shoulder, both panting heavily.

“So… are we gonna have dinner or continue? I’m hungry but not for food…”

[morganaawriterr]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Valentine's Day with Ni-ki;

Pairing; fem!reader X best friend!Ni-ki Synopsis; Just when you're about to leave the house to have a date with Heeseung, your best friend Ni-ki shows up at your door with a sweet confession to make; Genre; best friends to lovers; fluff; Words; 1k Warning; None is just cute asf lol; MASTERLIST;

A/N: I wanted to post something for valentine's day so bad but I don't really like this :( I hope you guys do! As usual likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you so much <3 Happy Valentine to all the girlies and boys in a relationship, to us, singles... well... lets be delulu for a little.

“Ni-ki? What are you doing here?” you question, confused, as soon as you open your heavy front door. Your curious eyes scan your best friend’s face as you gently hold the door open.

“Don’t go…” Ki responds, his beautiful brown eyes locked on yours.

Today is Valentine’s Day, and you have a date with a nice guy named Heeseung, who happens to be one of Ni-ki’s friends. You haven’t talked to Heeseung much, but he showed interest in you, and you decided to give him a chance. He seemed hesitant at first, but then firmly assured you that he wanted to go out with you today, so you got all dolled up just for him.

“What are you talking about, Ki?” you ask, starting to feel irritated by his strange timing. Ni-ki stands tall in front of you, his hands hidden behind his back. You raise an eyebrow and try to peek behind him, but he catches you just in time and steps back to avoid it.

“I’m talking about your date with Heeseung,” Riki repeats, his hands starting to sweat. “Don’t go on that stupid date with him.”

The truth is, he’s been in love with you ever since he met you. Ni-ki realized he wanted you long ago, way before you met Heeseung, but only now, with Heeseung making a move on you, did he find the courage to confess. His heart ached at the thought of you kissing Heeseung after getting all pretty for him.

Riki tries to read your expression, his eyes scanning your perplexed face, then trailing down your figure. You’re wearing an adorable pink floral sundress that isn’t too tight but still hugs your body in all the right places. Your long chocolate-brown hair is carefully straightened, and you’re wearing his favorite perfume.

Feeling his intense gaze, you speak up. “Why would I do that, hm?”

Ni-ki knows you’re starting to get irritated—the stern look in your eyes gives it away easily.

“Because…” Ni-ki starts, but it feels like someone is squeezing his throat, making it hard to breathe. “Because I’m finally here,” he whispers, his eyes locked on yours, hoping you’ll understand what his half-words can’t fully express.

You feel your cheeks heat up, unable to hide your reaction to his words. You’ve liked Riki for as long as you can remember but never really understood your feelings until you started growing up. His cool persona and great fashion sense made him incredibly attractive. But after getting to know him even better, you fell harder. He was more than just cool and well-dressed. He was kind, well-mannered, and made you laugh until your cheeks hurt. And turns out that was the way to your heart.

You never told him how you felt because you never thought he would like you back. After all, he was popular and had many girls chasing after him. That’s why you agreed to go out with Heeseung. Maybe he could distract you from the one-sided love you had for your best friend.

“What are you talking about, Riki…” you whisper, your heart racing at the thought that he might actually like you back. Your eyes shift from his to the floor, too nervous to face him.

“Fuck, Y/N, I like you, okay? I always have. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you,” Ni-ki finally confesses, his ears turning red and his hands trembling slightly as he reveals what he is holding behind his back.

You can’t hide the immense smile that grows on your lips at his words, and when you see the beautiful bouquet of red roses in his hands, you can’t hold back anymore. Happy tears fill your eyes as you reach forward, wrapping your arms around Ni-ki’s neck, your head tucked against him. Your best friend immediately pulls you close, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his heart finally calming down as he feels your familiar embrace.

“Does this mean you like me back?” he jokes when you pull away to look up at him, your big puppy eyes staring into his. Ni-ki’s hand cups your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your skin.

You smile brightly at him. “Of course I do, dumbass,” you giggle, completely lost in the new softness in Riki’s eyes. “Wait, but Heeseung doesn’t deserve this… I can’t just cancel on him,” you say, biting your lip as guilt creeps in.

“Don’t worry, just tell him you changed your mind. He knew this would happen…” Ni-ki explains with a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Heeseung knew Ni-ki liked you, but Ni-ki denied it. Your best friend had assured Heeseung that you were single and that he didn’t like you, so Heeseung asked you out. Despite suspecting Riki’s feelings, Heeseung was genuinely interested in you and was surprised when you accepted his offer.

“Will you be my Valentine?” Ni-ki asks, love practically dripping from his eyes, his smile so genuine and cheerful that it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Yes, Ni-ki.”

As the words leave your mouth, Riki steps closer to you, his addictive scent surrounding you. His cold fingers gently lift your chin as he leans in. Your hands reach for his black hair, fingers playing with the strands at the nape of his neck.

His lips feel hesitant at first when they meet yours. Knowing him well, you can tell he’s probably nervous about taking this big step, so you kiss him back confidently, trying to reassure him that you’re more than okay with this. Tilting your head slightly, you silently ask for permission to deepen the kiss, and he lets you take the lead. As your lips mold together perfectly, he relaxes, smiling softly against your mouth, overwhelmed by joy. Your tongues move slowly, savoring each other like you’ve always wished to.

Out of breath, you pull away, a warm blush painting your cheeks. When Riki opens his eyes, he finds you already staring at him, looking prettier than ever with your lips swollen and red from his kiss. Smiling, he gently takes your hand and leads you to his car, ready to drive you to your favorite restaurant and spend a perfect evening with you—just like you deserve.

Little did he know, this was already more than enough. All you really wanted on this Valentine’s Day was his warm lips on yours, finally claiming you as his.

Taglist: @grandlightcandy @seokseokjinkim @strxwbloody @enhasunghoonishot @contyynishimura @heewanrik @ranwonbin @leanderexists @lovelyyf @youngheejay @crimson-reaper576 @rikifever @mrsjjongstby @laurradoesloveu @babyboomysweetie @mintchocos-things @nxzz-skz @saphiranishimurashan @ikeupups @yangjungwonnie @xiiaobaoo @itsuen @laylasbunbunny @mellowgalaxystrawberry @firstclassjaylee @questionsdearreader @greeyjre @en-doll @riqomi @lovingvoidgoatee @mitmit01 @miuwonis @aureliaaaa555 @han-to-my-minho @heeweenie @vixensss @ro-diares @hoonvinx @immelissaaa @jiryunn @quilevyt @vrusha01 @kkamismom12 @skzenhalove @theothernads @moonpri @nicoleparadas @fightqueen @heesunghooney @starl0ver4 @jooniesbears-blog @k1arar3 @riri-lvs-food @kolawnk @mitmit01 @dummyf @tender-is-the-moon @dksfml @tobiosbbyghorl @loveydoveyez @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @hhyvsstuff @moondooll @enchantedtomeetyou

If you wanna be added or removed from the taglist just comment below!

[alwaysobsessed777]

Anything Juju Watkins, she’s seriously underrated 🙏🏻

FOREVER YOURS - J.W.

First juju fic....kinda scared....but let me know if I should keep writing for her

"Juju...i already told you," I could feel my frustration bubbling up. Catching her in the act of kissing another girl was not on my bingo card of the year. "It's a no. I don't care what you have to say, we're done."

"baby....please...its not what it looked like," following like a lost puppy, Juju begged. I couldn't care less in the moment.

Her hand wraps around my wrist, trying to stop me from walking further away. I stopped, looking down at the contact. The calmness of her tone, it further the irritation that was brewing.

I ripped my arm from her grip, "I said I don't want to hear what you have to say. Leave me the f-"

"Y/n....calm down...okay."

"No! If you weren't sucking someone's else face...i wouldn't be acting like this!" I spun around, our eyes meeting. The hurt in her eyes made me want to calm down, but nothing was stopping the hurt that I felt. "I really thought I could trust you...and you walked all over me. My trust...my ego...my love for you. I just need some space...please."

Tears swelled in my eyes. Juju's seemed to mirror. "Okay. I can give you space," she looked down, wiping her eyes before looking back at me, "I love you."

I nod. I had nothing else to say. My legs turned me around, walking me out of the packed party. The party, that if I stayed would have burned something within me, was for the women's team defeating the undefeated UCLA. Maybe she got too cocky. But that cockiness just ruined our whole relationship.

2 weeks later....

It's been hard. I missed her more than I would like to admit. Her sarcasm used to fill the awkward moments with friends. Her jokes flowing in conversation resulting in fits of laughter. Then, her presence. It was grounding, calming, and I needed all of that in my life. But Juju was that....and she wasn't here.

I struggled to pull myself out of bed, groaning with the motion. Hating myself and the world had become a more common thing for me these days. I hated myself for not listening to the girl cause what if she really hadn't done anything. Maybe I jumped to conclusions, maybe I was a jerk, maybe I was the one who didn't deserve her. Not the other way around.

Throwing on whatever was near, I made my way out of the sloppy dorm room. Opening the door, to my surprise, I was welcomed with many holding flowers.

"uh...excuse me," he looked down at the small paper attached to the bouquet of roses, "Y/n? These are for you."

"I think you might have the wrong y/n. Nobody is gonna send me anything," I closed my door, locking before turning back around to face the guy.

"Y/n l/n....from Juju Watkins? Does that sound right?"

Shock washed over me. Why would Juju send me flowers? "Um...yeah...yeah that sounds right."

"well," he held them out, "here you go. Have a nice day, ma'am."

"than-thank you." I stood there, flowers in hand, dumbfounded. I couldn't piece together why, the woman I yelled at and refused to say 'i love you' back too, would send flowers to me.

Quickly, I read the small note attached to the stem. Hoping that it would tell me why she would.

'I know your probably not happy with me...but I wanted to send you flowers (even tho Valentine's day was a little while ago...) for V' day. I would never not get you something....but I figured it would have been stupid to send something right after everything went down. Just know, I'm sorry that what happened happened. I'm always ready to talk whenever you are. I love you too much to not wait. Love, Juju'

"it's not too much is it?" Her voice rang through my ears, my head snapping up to meet the girl I've been missing tremendously.

Juju.

Sniffling, I pulled her into a tight embrace, "I've missed you so much." The words mumbled into my shoulder. Her arms tighten their hold on around me, pulling me impossibly closer.

"I've missed you too," a broken chuckle fell from my lips, "even if I don't necessarily like you right now."

Juju's body tensed, "can we talk about...what happened, please?"

I nodded, escaping her hold to unlock the door. Opening it, I step in allowing Juju to follow.

"I'm so sorry you saw me kiss another girl....but I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. I was drunk...she was drunk....she thought I was into her....so she took her shot. I pushed her off of me, but she latched back on as you walked in. I wish I could've been able to stop you from seeing it. I would have told you what happened....i just wish everything would have went down another way. I'm sorry baby." Juju was almost begging for forgiveness. Her words sinking in, my brain deciding whether to trust her or not. Something in the way she let everything just crash through whatever dam was holding it in convinced me, convinced me that she was telling the truth.

"okay."

"okay?"

"I accept your apology and now I want kisses to make up for it," I held my arms out, hoping the girl would just go with it. To my liking, she did.

"God I've wanted to kiss you for weeks," a smirk settled on her lips, well, before her lips crashed onto mine.

My arms snaked around her neck as her hands fell to my waist. Her grip tight and dominant, almost like she would never let me go. Our lips moved against each other like they were made to be kissed by the other. A feeling of familiarity settled within me. Thoughts seemed to not form properly, other than one thought. We were meant to be, and nothing was going to get in the way of that again.

Once we were both on the verge of not breathing, we broke apart. Smiles stretched across both of our faces as the realization set in.

"I love you more than anything," I whispered, resting my head on her shoulder. Juju's arms pulling me into a hug, the warmth of her embrace calming me. The grounding feeling I had been missing not even an hour ago.

"I love you too, Y/n. More than my own life," the words seemed to effect me more than they had ever before. I felt like she truly meant it.

Nothing would ever break my trust in her again.

------------

A/n : ha...ha....if this is trash, let me know and I won't ever write for juju again.

But if y'all like....let me know and I'll definitely write for her again.

(I'm truly in love with this woman....shes another one of my wives.)

[gothamhappiness]

haiiii i really like your writing and i was wondering if i could request a fic for the batfam and a he/they reader who has chronic pain and is going through a pretty not fun flare up and feels bad bc they haven't been able to patrol or help the others for a while, and can you make it really comforting

-🔆🦈(so i can find this later)

Hi sweetie, thank you for this request! I tried my best for it to be a gentle and comforting short oneshot.

This is my first platonic!batfamilly story, it was really fun to write. Hope you'll enjoy too!

FRIENDS ARE THE BEST PAINKILLERS (GN!reader x platonic!batfamilly)

Warnings: no proof reading, chronically ill!reader, reader!vigilante, mentions of pain, self pity and guilt, fluff and comfort

You wish the pain would go away now. 

You wish your body and mind would work together, instead of fighting each other. Weren’t they supposed to play on the same team?

Speaking of a team, you were watching the news. The Batfamily was all out tonight as some villains escaped Arkham. You were worried about them. You knew they were well trained people, but anything could happen to them.

And more than anything you were feeling guilty because you couldn't help them for another emergency. You were supposed to be one of them, you were supposed to be a vigilante too, and yet you couldn’t count how many patrols you skipped by then. 

You hated yourself for not being able to help. You couldn’t wait for the chronic pain to go away so you would be back on the field. You promised yourself you would work twice as hard to compensate. Yeah, you needed to prove to everyone that you were still worth it, that you were still part of the team.

You kept watching the news, your eyes glued to your phone.

You breathed a sigh of relief when the Batfamily brought everyone back to Arkham after a couple of hours.

You were proud of your people. You knew they were the best, and once again they showed it. 

Without thinking about it, you opened the group chat you had with them. You hadn’t sent messages in there for days now, too ashamed to reply. You wanted them to forget about you. But at the same time you missed your friends. 

“Hey guys, great job tonight! Hopefully I'll be by your side next time you'll need help” you sent while biting on your lips. 

You were such a loser, you thought. They clearly didn't need your help. You were about to put your phone down when you received a notification from Dick

“That would be great! We've been missing you. And you're truly the only one who appreciate my jokes here” you smiled as you read the messages

“Where have you been?” Jason asked you as he was away with Artemis and Bizarro when your illness had resurfaced again

“Home. Chronic pain and all. Life sucks” you replied

“It's okay, don't beat yourself up and come back when you'll be ready” Bruce sent you and you had to admit you had to read over and over again his message, feeling giddy.

Batman wasn't often messaging you, especially such encouraging words. You felt warmth blossoming inside your chest.

“Thanks a lot” you could only typed away

“You hungry? We were about to go to Batburgers. We could eat over at your place if you're not too tired?” Stephanie offered and it made you smile even more.

“I'd love that” you instantly replied

You told them what you would like and then waited for them. 

You slowly but surely clean up a little bit around even if it wasn't something they wouldn't have seen at their own place before. But you wanted them to feel good in your home, like you were feeling good around them.

A few instants later, you heard laughter echoing in your building corridors and you went to open the door. It was smelling fried food and it was also bringing you quite a lot of comfort. It might be a better night than you anticipated. 

When you saw them, you felt so grateful to have them.

Cassandra was the first one to reach for you and she gently hugged you, careful not to hurt you. You hugged her back before greeting everyone else. They all softly hugged you or embraced your shoulders. You leaned down to peck at Barbara’s cheek as she also came. The only one missing was Bruce but you didn’t really think he would be part of the improvised party. 

Tim, Jason and Damian started to gather seats around your table that was way too small for that many people, but as always, you all found a way to make room for everyone. 

Soon enough you were eating fries and chuckling at Jason's annoying remarks thrown at Dick. Barbara made a sarcastic comment about Tim who huffed and turned towards you.

“You’re gonna let her talk to me like that under your roof?” He asked you and you tried not to smile at that

“Yeah, no. Barbara, please stop. Can't you attack someone of your size for once?” you said to which Jason and Stephanie loudly laughed as Damian grinned

“Hey, Y/N” Tim huffed, faking offense “I thought you were on my side” 

“Oh no, I'm always on the side of the strongest” you shrugged “And Babs can too easily kick my ass or fry my phone, so yeah sticking by her side” you replied

“Smart move” Barbara hummed in approval

You continued to chat around, realising that for once the pain was bearable. Maybe it was because you were surrounded by people who loved you and made you happy. Cassandra put a hand on yours so your attention would be on her.

“You good?” She signed to you and you shrugged

“Right now yes, but this was truly a bad flare up and I don’t see the end of it” you admitted

“I'm sorry about that. We should have come over sooner” she said and you shook your head

“You guys are busy, it's okay” you smiled

“L/N have you eaten enough lately? You seem like you haven't got all your much needed nutritions" Damian's voice interrupted your discussion with Cassandra. 

You arched an eyebrow at that, surprised the grumpy boy seemed to care about you.

“Oh well, it's true I haven't been the best with food lately” you sheepishly admitted and Stephanie gently stroked your arm to comfort you. “But it's okay” you quickly added as everyone’s attention was now on you, and it was making you feel a little bit shy.

“Of course it is not. A warrior needs food to properly function. I will ask Alfred to cook for you and to send you the meals” Damian said and you had to admit you were half embarrassed, half exploding with joy to be under everyone's care.

“You don't have to bother him for me” you tried to refuse but Damian tutted you

“Nonsense”

“Good idea, Dami!” Dick nodded “it's true you need food and we'll deliver it to you so we'll be sure you'll eat it all” he added

“I take the first delivery” Jason said and instantly everyone started to argue over it. 

You leaned onto your seat and smiled to yourself. 

Life wasn’t that bad after all.

--

Taglist for all my work <3

@blublock404

@wind-canoe

@silverklaus

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch

@tatsuri-zomushiki

@navs-bhat

@randomnamedmira

@winterhi09

@murkyponds

@qardasngan

[sanguineterrain]

the worst day of february | jason todd

Summary: Cold and defeated on the worst day of February, you stand on your apartment rooftop, contemplating giving up. Then the Red Hood drops in and makes you tea in your apartment.

Pairing: Jason Todd x gn!reader 

Word count: 2k

Warnings/tags: suicidal ideation, disordered eating and sleeping habits, depression, reader doesn't attempt suicide but thinks about it a lot. a sort of hopeful ending. jason being a really really good guy.

please take care of yourselves - don't read this if you think it'll upset you.

divider

One day in February—it doesn't matter which day; it might be someone else's day too, but it doesn't matter, and it doesn't matter which February either—you realize that you've forgotten how to be happy.

When you think of February, you don't think of much, except that on those big visual calendars of the months that they put up in kindergarten, February is always pink. Pink like an organ. Pink like guts. Pink like love.

But your February—all the Februarys you've had—is blue-gray. It's like someone's cast a moody shadow over your February. It's the director's choice, clearly, to light your February like you're at a wake. It's not your choice. It's never your choice.

Here is the problem. The problem is that you're too scared, but you want the attention of someone who's killed themselves. Shame digs its claws into you at such a perverse thought. But it's true. Even if it's one person who takes a moment to inspect your guts on the sidewalk, or your body in the bathtub, you want them to hold your rigor mortis and say, what a loss. Is there anything I can do?

And then you'd pop up from the bathwater and say, why yes, there is something you can do, would you mind changing the lighting? It's bringing me down.

You're on the roof of your apartment. You don't know why, because as stated, you're too scared. And it's nighttime, and you're a speck of dust, which is comforting at times and haunting at others. Dust on a roof. Easy to be carried off by the wind.

You don't want to die, exactly. You want to rest. No amount of sleep destroys the exhaustion. Instead of marrow in your bones, it's the desire for rest that only comes through death. Unfortunately, despite not wanting to die, death seems to be your only path.

His footsteps are quiet. You don't realize that you're not alone until he's there next to you, hunched over the ledge on his elbows.

You flinch.

"Sorry," Red Hood says, and there's no smoky breath that accompanies his words like they accompany everyone else's. You wonder where the air from his helmet's filter goes.

"It's fine," you say, even though your nervous system is still reeling. It's not fine, because you hate being scared, but it also doesn't matter, so it's fine in that way.

You have a great view from the city up here but appreciating the city is difficult when it's all blue-gray shadows. Your stomach hurts. You've never felt more unbearably yourself in your life.

"Everything okay?" Hood asks.

"Yeah," you say, not bothering to lie. Not bothering to tell the truth either.

"'S cold up here."

"I'm not gonna jump."

"Didn't say you would," Hood says mildly.

"That's why you're here. You think I'll jump, and it's your duty to make sure I don't. But I won't. Too scared. I just wallow instead."

"Wallowing ain't so good either."

"Yeah," you say, throat hurting like you've swallowed a splinter. "Probably not."

An audience would see your funeral-lit life and make the obvious prediction that something bad is about to happen. The director is telling a story, and he's giving hints. You, as the protagonist, are expecting bad things too. Perhaps this is where it starts.

"You live here?" Hood asks.

There should be a curl of fear that strikes you, because Red Hood—terrifying, gangster, born and bred Gotham Red Hood—shouldn't be landing on your rooftop and checking to make sure you aren't gonna spill your guts.

He doesn't seem so terrifying, though. He doesn't seem like a gangster either. And what's wrong with being born and bred Gotham? You like it. Hood is familiar even though you've never met him before. Something about his voice, his stance, the fact that he gives a shit enough to talk to you for a minute. It feels like maybe the universe doesn't want you to kill yourself right then.

"I live here," you say, taking too long to answer.

"Alright," he says. "Lead the way."

You look at him. He's turned around now, facing the roof access door.

"What?"

Hood points a thumb at the door. "Let's go to your place."

"Why?" Why, you ask, instead of the fuck?

"'M thirsty," he says.

Well, if he's here to assassinate you, it won't matter if you bring him to your apartment or not. And now that he's mentioned it, it is cold. Probably because you're up here without a coat. A coat hadn't seemed important when you were in your apartment choking on stale black air.

Maybe you should warn Hood about the stale black air. But you feel like he won't let you return to your apartment if you do.

Hood goes first, leading you back inside. He goes down the stairs slowly, letting you drag and set the pace. It's so stupid. You feel like crying. Why is he going down the stairs with you at your stupid slow pace?

You stop two floors down. This would be another hint to your audience, the fact that you're so close to the roof that you can just climb a couple flights.

You open your apartment. You'd left it unlocked.

"Do you often leave your place unlocked?" Hood asks.

You shrug. "I don't go out enough to get the chance."

Hood doesn't say anything else but he does do the deadbolt when you're inside, as well as the chain lock.

"Shoes off?" he asks. You nod. You both remove your shoes.

Then you stand like you're not in your own apartment. Hood herds you like a sheepdog to your tiny kitchen table. Then he starts opening cabinet doors.

"Got a kettle?" he asks.

You stare at the back of his helmet, your eyebrows knitting. "A kettle? How many Gothamites do you know own kettles?"

"It's the only dignified way to make tea," he says.

Maybe Hood isn't so born and bred Gotham. "Were you raised by British monarchs?"

"Kinda," he says. He evidently gives up on finding a kettle and instead puts water to boil on the stove, even though you have a microwave. Weirdo.

Suddenly, you realize you haven't thought about death for a whole five minutes.

"Got any decaffeinated tea?" Hood asks.

You have a barely opened box of Sleepytime. You point at the top shelf. He hums and retrieves the box, taking out three tea bags to drop into the boiling water.

Hood takes out two mugs. He's surprisingly apt at navigating an unfamiliar kitchen.

He gives you your mug and sits across from you at the table. He's huge at your table, but he gracefully crosses his legs despite the limited space.

"Didja eat?" he asks.

"I had some cereal a few hours ago," you say.

Hood nods. "Fine. But you gotta eat real dinner too."

You don't think it really matters what a corpse-in-training eats, but you nod anyway. Hood's tone invites no deliberation.

"What's your favorite food? Drink your tea."

You scrunch your face and take a hesitant sip. The hot liquid burns your tongue for a moment before you swallow.

"I like pizza," you say. "And burgers. And ramen. But lately, everything tastes like nothing."

You'd tried to find joy in food a few days ago because you couldn't find it anywhere else. You'd torn open a pack of Swedish Fish and shoved the box into your drawer after eating two pieces because it'd tasted like melted plastic to you.

Then you'd bought an expensive brand of chocolate bar, desperate to be happy, desperate to be flooded with dopamine. Nothing. You'd tossed the chocolate, feeling distinctly broken. What monster doesn't find joy in their favorite candy?

You only eat to cure the hunger pains, because you can't take anymore pain. You eat to survive. Not because you want to, but because dying by starvation takes too long.

"That's okay," Hood says. "'S good you're eating."

You scoff. "I don't need consolation."

Hood doesn't give you the satisfaction of an argument. He's going to make you feel alive in a gentler way, even though you don't deserve it. "Drink your tea."

You drink. His mug remains untouched. You feel like you're in a play. This isn't even real tea, it's just colored water. And Hood's stage direction is to not drink his colored water. It's just for show.

You look out the window, expecting to make eye contact with an audience member. You're waiting for the second act. You're waiting for the end.

"I don't want anymore," you say when your mug is half-finished. Trying to finish the tea feels like prolonging the inevitable. The audience wants to go home. They have lives to get back to. They can't live with you and the stage forever.

To your surprise, Hood nods. "Okay. C'mon."

He stands up from the table. You follow him to your bedroom. He pulls open your shirt drawer. You notice the two guns strapped to his hips, two strapped to his ankles, and one bigger gun on his back. You wait for the director's guidance on how you should feel. None comes, so you remain apathetic.

"Choose a shirt," he says. You pick a plain pink t-shirt. Hood closes that drawer and opens your pants drawer. "Choose."

You take a pair of worn pajama shorts because you overheat when you sleep, especially when you're depressed. You're sweaty from your lie-in till two that you took earlier today. Your face is greasy. You're sure your hair isn't nice either.

"Go change," Hood says, walking out of your room. "I'll be outside." He closes the door behind him.

You change, if only out of shock of the Red Hood giving you orders.

"Done," you say, probably too quiet for anyone to hear. But Hood comes in. He looks you over.

"Good." He points to the bed. "Lie down."

You do. Your sheets are gross. They haven't been changed in at least a few months. You're suddenly swollen with shame that anyone, even the Red Hood, is seeing you in this state. Your eyes fill with stinging tears. You should've died before it came to this.

"I'm sorry you had to stop to do this," you say.

Hood's silent for a moment. Then he walks to your side of the bed. He crouches down. His helmet eyes glow in the dark. You've never been less afraid.

This is a plot twist you did not foresee. A new character. A guardian angel. Red in your blue-gray.

"'S not always gonna feel like this," he says.

More tears, more splinters in your throat. "It's felt like this for so long."

"Yeah," he says gently. Gentler than you fucking deserve. "I know."

The writer has overridden the director's wants, and has introduced some new foreshadowing. Should your audience believe it? Or is this a fake-out?

You lie back and want to die a little less. One young woman in your audience chokes up. She believes that you believe you’ll live. She will stay here for as long as it takes for you to make it through act two.

"If you have to go, it's okay," you say.

Hood settles against the wall near your bed. He pulls one knee against his chest. It's almost like you have a friend.

"Nah," he says. "I don't have anywhere to be. I finished my patrol. I'll stay till you fall asleep."

He doesn't ask to stay, and that feels good, not having to make the choice, to face the shame of wanting another person to care about you.

You screw your eyes shut. "Thank you," you whisper.

"I'm gonna bring you a kettle," Hood says.

You laugh. It's small and brittle but it's real. "Okay." You'll have to make it through the night. Red Hood is bringing you a kettle.

You lay there for a long time, not sleeping. You keep your eyes closed. You focus on keeping your breathing even. Then you open your eyes to check.

Hood is still there, sitting against the wall. You wonder if he's fallen asleep too. His voice startles you.

"Still here," he says. "Said I wouldn't go till you sleep. Meant it. Don't worry."

Maybe tomorrow's sun won't be so blue or gray. You fall asleep.

[lonewolflupe]

Happy Valentine's Day from Fox! Read messages below the cut

To: @lonewolflupe

Hi, you‘re one of my favorite people on Tumblr! I have no idea how to fit my thoughts into one message but I‘ll try my best. First of all, I love your art, like the way you draw clones? They‘re just perfect! Also the meme redraws make me laugh a lot of times because memes with clones are just amazing. My personal favorite one is the one you drew for me with Fox drawing 25 and also The WHAT also with Fox. I have a soft spot for that guy. You've also been really nice to me and as an introvert who is often scared to reach out I appreciate that. I hope you don't mind me tagging you in every tag game / challenge I participate in because I'm always curious about your response. To sum this whole message up, thanks for being my mutual. Yeah and also thanks for organizing this event and giving me the opportunity to say this.

From: Kote ( @kotemf )

(Note from Lupe: Thank you so much for this wholesome message, Kote <3)

To: @aknightreaderr

First off, thank you for all your support of my writing and I’m so thankful that we’ve gotten to be friends. Also, thank you for introducing me to crack fics with your amazing imagination. Happy Valentine’s Day, my friend!

From: Misty 💙 ( @tealmisthams )

To: @peggy7447

If you're ever in need of company, comm me and I'll sit down with you over some caf. I'll be there.

From: Fox

To: @kotemf

Dear Kote,

Thank you so much for being here with us! You're such a kind person, and your support means so much to me! Thank you for always participating in my events and for always thinking about me with tag games. I absolutely love your writing and I can't wait to dive into more of your stories! Thanks to you too for being my mutual! <3

From: @lonewolflupe

To: @ghostymarni

Sending you love and hugs and Marshal Commander kisses!

From: @returnofthepineapple

...

To: @ghostymarni

Marni!! Happy Valentine’s Day!! You are such a gift and light in this community and you deserve all of the love. 🫶🏼 Your art never fails to make my jaw drop every single time you post! Thank you so much for creating the most beautiful TechxSarad piece, I stare at it everyday in absolute awe. 🥰 You’re amazing and I can’t wait to see what you create next.💙

From: Anne ( @baddest-batchers )

...

To: @ghostymarni

I know you're trouble, but you're my trouble now. You're stuck with me for the long run; better spend it together with some caf breaks.

From: Fox

Heart divider by @/saradika-graphics

[eyothings]

So out of nowhere this december, i've been hit with nostalgia and decided it was time to rewatch Buffy The Vampire Slayer's entire series after the last time it aired on tv, meaning 20 years ago.

Not only it shaped a whole side of my lil sister personality, it is also the favorite show of one of my cousin and closest friends.

And considering the state i'm in after finishing season 7, i know for sure Spike is the origin of my utter love for anti-heros, England and ennemies-to-lovers trope.

He is one of those characters that stay with you forever.

C'mon look at him, LO_OK.

I had very few memories of the show, only some big moments: Angel leaving for a spinoff, Spike ♥, Dark Willow, Spuffy - Basically I remembered almost nothing.

The first season set the tone for me, i forgot the serie was very funny, and what worked right away was the simple fact that they didn't act seriously either, the actors looked like they just had fun. On top of that, even if i already knew that, the show is very feminist and advanced for its time.

I also forgot how much of an asshole Xander is. lol

The worst season for me is clearly season 4, and between you and me, and me and you, it's unsurprisingly because of Riley and the army.

The best season is obviously season 6, and not only for Spike and Spuffy but for Buffy's whole personality.

I have so much to say about the show really, but I'll stay focused and talk about the two ships: Bangel and Spuffy (and a bit of Riley). Note that it is purely my point of view, based on what i like to see and read in fiction and how I perceive the characters, there is clearly a big difference compared to real life. As well as any "bitch" mentioned here is only affectionate. And if you're crazy enough to read the entire post, I apologise in advance for the many mistakes in my writing, as English is not my mother tongue.

The moment i'm writing this VERY long ass post, I've only just started to watch Angel the series for the first time and I've only seen the first season, so my thoughts on him may change in the future, but I don't think my pov on the ships will. I am also aware of some events in seasons 8 to 12 (comics).

• Bangel:

To be honest I liked their love story more when Angel was Angelus.

First, them falling in love never really clicked, I guess they played the love at first sight trope, but she was 15 and he was 200; at that age, any man who was pretty enough and a bit dark would've worked for her. (I won't talk about a 26 y/o man falling in love with a 15 y/o teenager, the man is from 1727, at this point it's not even the same culture okay??)

I thought I'd still give it a chance and root for them, even if I was fully aware of him leaving and Spike would be the new romance (I FORGOT THE WASTE OF TIME WITH RILEY), because they actually talked about all the issues, they knew something was off with their love story but they couldn't stop.

I have not much to say about the nature of their love, it was a cute romance at best, but the more they went further the cringier it'd get, I still have trauma about their kiss noises, no kidding.

They slept together and Angel becomes Angelus, which is supposed to be sad and add some angst, but Angelus was so charismatic, I didn't care about Angel anymore.

And what can I say? I think the soul vs no soul aspect played kinda badly, they all said that Angelus was incapable of love since he had no soul, but we had the concrete proof that love was possible thanks to Spike & Drusilla to begin with ??

I was hoping that, since they sold us their love as super powerful and intense, Angelus would end up falling in love with Buffy, especially after the episode in which both are possessed by ghosts in season 2 episode 19 - I Only Have Eyes for You - which is my favorite moment between them:

but NO, Angelus cannot love, and only Angel can:

It's either we get the flavored guy but no romance or the bland one with a half romance.

Talk about the greatest love story there.

And the whole season 3 is Angel and Buffy having a teen romance:

"Let's just hold hands and kiss but nothing else"

Of course I guess this kind of love story is possible, but it is made clear they both feel the sexual tension each time they kiss, they even dream of doing it. So the only thing that comes of it, is frustrating feelings, for Buffy, for Angel and for us watching them going nowhere.

The hottest moment they have is when Angel bites her to survive.

Surely for a love story that is sold to be so grand, I expected Angel to find a cure for the curse? And fight for his love or something?

♫ Nope, he just leaves. ♫

♫ Bitch talks about fighting for what is worth and bails out at the first difficulty. ♫

i cannot even blame Joyce here, she made the right call, for real. Mother knows best, but he had the chance to prove her wrong.

And in parallel to that we are introduced to Spike, a vampire with no soul who is one hundred times worth Angel, just by existing.

And there is so much to say, whether or not Spuffy was intended, whether or not Angel is supposed to be the love of Buffy's life; After reaching seven seasons, I can guarantee without any hesitation, that Spike is the one, there is no contest.

I can't, for the life of me, believe one second that Joss Whedon and the rest of the team wrote the enemies to lovers story of the last two decades without doing it on purpose? They were so much into Angel, to realize what was happening?

They sold me Angel and Buffy being the "forever love", and, in a way, they are, but only because they cling to the "what could've been".

Of course they will always be attracted to each other until they really try. They'll always idealise their love story and fill the plotholes with their imagination. But it is dramatically bound to end in disaster.

And no, Buffy, I cannot take you seriously when you say "I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life" ; You were a teenager, it is normal to feel more deeply when you're 16, but that doesn't mean anything, and you know it too well.

Angel left her broken, unable to trust anyone, unable to trust herself and alone: If the love of her life doesn't want to be with her, then who will? (♫ We have an idea ♫ )

Soul or not, he has been a coward, with no intent to get to know Buffy, her family, her friends. He decided what was best for her without asking her.

All he does after that, is coming back into Buffy's life at the worst moments to be jealous.

♫ He is that toxic boyfriend who comes back with puppy eyes each time you try to move on. ♫

Every time he appears in an episode it's to disappoint even more: I was rooting for him, I even missed him A LOT in season 4 !

And, sure, meanwhile, the dance between Spike and Buffy was already ongoing since season 2, but we really didn't have any concrete scenes between them that could seal the ship for good (them under Willow's spell in season 4 doesn't count). So the best option at that moment was the hope for Angel to come back.

Buffy never really had the chance to move on from Angel because of Riley and his insecurities, but also because Angel cannot seem to move on, while moving on at the same time ? ! ? ♫ Bitch has a child ♫

The moment Angel left the show, it should have been for good. (Note aside, I'm still having a hard time believing the character had his own spinoff because of his popularity, when we barely saw him hanging around in the first 3 seasons, wouldn't have it been simpler for him to stay and have more scenes, like Spike?) • Riley & Buffy (Briley??)

And so Angel never came back, and we got Riley instead. He was the perfect choice to make the bridge between Bangel and Spuffy. She needed to experience a "normal" romance, with a "normal guy" to know what it's like and to understand what she really wants, but one season and a half was way too much. ♫ I ended up googling " WHEN is Riley LEAVING? "♫ The moment Buffy said she held back her strength when training with him, was enough to see what was coming.

Riley was nothing else than just an army guy under steroids who couldn't even handle his girlfriend being stronger than him.

Him blaming Buffy for not really being around when her mother was dying was the cherry on top of the loser's behavior.

Buffy needed someone with whom she could be 100% herself, an equal, and Riley knew he wasn't half of that; so he made her pay? By cheating on her and leaving? Then coming back a year later to brag about his wedding? Lmao give me a break Riloser.

So now Buffy is alone AGAIN, both men she thought she loved, left without looking back. ♫ Over my shouuulder ♫

And from those two relationships, we can already see what she needs in a romance:

- An emotionally available man - That can be there for her without pushing her - Someone who doesn't flee the second he encounters the smallest difficulty - A man strong enough for her to unleash the full force without being afraid of hurting him ♫ yes i'm talking about sex ♫ - Someone who understands her role as the slayer and her crazy life - Someone selfless capable of protecting her family and friends - Someone she can trust.

♫ And now, ladies and gentlemen, lets welcome ♫

• Spuffy:

Ok first a bit of context here: I disagree about people criticizing Buffy season 6 Lets just understand whats going on: Bitch sacrifices herself to save the world and her sister; at that moment, she feels peace for the first time in her life, for the first time she is not afraid to die and fulfill her destiny by choice. She has an heroic death, ends up resting in paradise...

♫ Then her friends who can't handle to live without her, decide to bring her back to life. ♫

Not only she comes back to life in her fucking coffin, she also: - Has to crawl to the surface (almost dying stupidly) - Has to act as if nothing happened - Has to be the slayer again - Cannot even go back to university - Has even less prospect for a normal life - She is poor - She needs to find money (ends up working in a fast food) - Has to thanks her friends for bringing her back to the life she never wanted - Is being blamed for not really being around.

♫ I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING PISSED YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE ♫

So what? She comes back, feels different, depressed, alone AGAIN and figuratively chained to a life she still doesn't want, and the only person who does understand what she is going through is Spike. Spike who has been here for her family and friends the whole time she was dead, meaning, he did it because he wanted to, because he felt genuine pleasure in hanging out with them while keeping his promise to protect Dawn.

He could have left, but never did, even though his love was one-sided, he loved her so much he stayed.

♫ Death couldn't do them apart ♫

He has been a father figure for Dawn, but not only that, Spike was also the only vampire Joyce liked and trusted, a presence she didn't mind in her home without Buffy around.

And Spike did love Joyce very much ♥

And I have so much to say about Spike, he is that multi-flavored character with so many layers, who stays interesting with or without a soul. He is a slayer's killer, seen as one of the most dangerous vampires, that anyone should be scared to be around, he has so much confidence in himself, he doesn't even mind being so freaking pathetic when it comes to love.

He is not even afraid nor ashamed to show his affection, to be vulnerable, to be open about it, and most of it, he just embraces it without a care of the outcome, he is just living by the day, knowing perfectly that everything could stop at any moment. Though, that being said, i'm still well aware Spike has also MANY flaws, all he does is mainly driven by love but it is still extreme and twisted due to his soulless condition. I really don't know where to start, because i feel like Buffy and Spike's destinies are intertwined - They are a mirror to each other. Buffy's behavior has anything to do with Spike, as Spike's behavior has anything to do with Buffy - it is really like watching a dance.

Spike allows her to embrace and explore the darkest part of herself - She was always the perfect girl everyone expected her to be.

She needed to do good, to BE good, but what if she, for once, chose the other side? Of course she never went as far as Faith did, but she allowed herself to fall into a forbidden romance, and to go against everyone's expectations, because she only felt something when she was with him. And i loved this part of her, because to me, she finally has flaws! I mean, she always had some but not to that extent. And maybe, maybe being like this, was a way for her to never fall completely into the darkness nor into Spike's influence.

Maybe she was in an inner battle between good and bad.

Maybe it was an unconscious way to either push him away, or test him to see if he will ever leave her. Abusive or not towards Spike, let's not forget that he is still William the bloody, and the only thing that stops him from killing anyone is the chip in his brain. We're still talking about the guy who would have easily killed Willow if he had the chance, the one Buffy wouldn't trust at all without that said chip.

Even though Spike has done TREMENDOUS good deeds with the scoobies, he is still a slave to his primary emotions.

Don't get me wrong, this is why i love Spike SO MUCH, his duality as a soulless vampire is everything. The man can talk to you about his favorite romantic show and a minute later kill someone in cold blood and find a great pleasure in both.

♫ Anyway ♫

Above all things, they are in love, and this love is extremely intense, deep, powerful, unbearable and terrible.

Thanks to Tara, Buffy realizes she did not come back as any different as before she died and realizes the horrors she has committed to Spike by treating him like a monster he never trully was.

Buffy ends up admitting her wrongs and grows out of her darkness and chooses to be good and to end her relationship with Spike. And she is glowing and glimming, and she's not his anymore.

Which leads Spike to end up doing something awful.

And what does he do after that??

He leaves the city...

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ TO FIX HIMSELF ♫ ♫ ♫

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are in the year 2002, and yes you read me well:

THE BAD GUY GOES TO FIX HIMSELF TO BE WORTHY OF THE GIRL

♫ William the bloody risked his fucking life in a trial to get back his soul ♫

She doesn't fix him, he does it on his own because he knows something must be done to repair his wrongs, that his love needs to be purified of his monstrous side to be a better man and stand at her side.

And even though she doesn't know that, she is still looking for him, even after what he has done, she is always drawn to him, she always wants to be around him.

Then she learns he got his spark back for her and she does everything in her power to keep him by her side.

Because now it is time for Spike to embrace the brightest part of himself thanks to Buffy.

I love them so much, especially in season 7 because they don't even have to act romantically to show how deep their love is for each other. How simple it has become, how instinctive their complicity is. They know how to complement each other, it is almost symbiotic.

They are clearly not ready to be together again until they really sort things out but Spike has seen the best and the worst parts of her, and is still hers entirely, and will always be.

As much as Buffy has seen the best and worst parts of him, and she still trusts and loves him to the point of asking the initiative to remove the chip in his brain. ♫ On top of desperately not wanting him to die ♫ Also, without knowing it yet, she is entirely his and will always be.

Buffy sees Spike’s worth, and Spike sees Buffy’s, even when neither of them can see their own.

They lift each other up, and become an unbreakable force, to the point that no one can split them.

And this is one of my favorite parts of Spuffy, in season 7:

Before, she would never have let Spike kill a human, not even out of revenge. But now, she’s willing to let his shadow take over if it means keeping him alive, just as he learns to hold it back. To me, episode 17 - Lies My Parents Told Me - marks how far their connection has grown: Buffy running as fast as she can to save Spike Spike's past with his mother, helping him make peace with some of it, as part of his ongoing redemption arc ♫ it broke my heart ♫ Spike coming back to his senses to beat the shit out of Robin, and giving him a last chance Buffy telling Robin she'll let Spike kill him next time he even tries to harm Spike Buffy choosing Spike over Giles Buffy choosing Spike over the "common sense" Buffy choosing love over her duty (even if she pretends otherwise) ♫ Buffy, you cannot fool Spike, but you cannot fool us either! ♫

And i love this parallel with the end of season 2 when she had to choose duty over love and kill Angel. This is Buffy allowing herself to be a bit more selfish while Spike is allowing himself to be a bit more selfless.

And then in the middle of the biggest battle of her life, she is overthrown over shitty excuses ♫ i have a LOT to say about the Scoobies but that post is insanely long to add some salt ♫ and who is the one that still has her back? Spike. Spike has always been unconditionally here for her and never let her down, which even the Scoobies didn't always do.

Spike is the one who delivers the most selfless and beautiful love declaration of the whole show, to her. When she needs it the most, because he is the only one who can see her.

And his love is what gives strength to Buffy to trust herself and pursue her goal. He is the one who brings back the light in Buffy, who pushes her to live and accept her fate as being the one.

And talking about light,

♫ What a freakin' poetry to have centered Spike's whole redemption arc around it ♫

He was always pursuing that light, whether in Cecily when he was a human or Buffy as a vampire. All he had to do was bring the light into him and embrace his humanity to fulfill his redemption. And so he makes the ultimate sacrifice, And he glows. Not only he saves the world willingly and selflessly but he also gives back the fire inside Buffy, frees her from Sunnydale and her role as the sole slayer.

♫ "I love you" - "Spike" are the last words Buffy says in the show ♫ • Conclusion A freaking long ass post only to say that to me, Spuffy is very well written as enemies to lovers, thanks to Jane Espenson, Douglas Petrie & Marti Noxon. Though i think Spike still suffers some injustices, but I'm glad he got the respect he deserves in the comics, (which i consider canon) : Not only does Spike end up as part of the Scoobies but also with Buffy, and he is the only one with whom she fights for their relationship to last. ♫ And they're endgame in season 12 ♫ (Thank you Christos Gage)

I also think JW made many mistakes for Bangel to work: I know he was kinda annoyed by Spike's popularity at first and wanted Angel to be seen as the main vampire of the franchise, which led him to give Angel his own spinoff, but by doing that, he also broke the link between Buffy and Angel. Which ultimately led Spike to have a more organic evolution with her instead of Angel. They both had their own paths in their own separate worlds, which forced JW to accept Spuffy as being the logical conclusion. Just as Cordelia was also the best choice for Angel to grow and be more open about his emotions. Claiming in interviews that Angel is the love of Buffy's life without ever demonstrating it concretely in any of the media itself makes this statement fall flat. I do not hate Bangel, I think the ship was necessary for Buffy to grow, but i do see more Angel as her first idealised and tragic love, while with Spike, it is more grounded, mature and based on mutual respect, trust, acceptation and stability.

♫ Angel should have stayed and Spike and Drusilla should have had their own spinoff, and i'd have paid to see that. ♫ • My pov on Sprusilla?

Literally nothing to say about them, they match each other freak to a level no one can ever comprehend.

♫ They are a perfect match and untouchable. ♫ ♫ May they end up together again and last for eternity. ♫

♫ With animals. ♫ (alive)

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hi! Hi! Fiesta time requesting to ya and was hoping if can place this ask here. I made sure to read you're rules so if I do somthing wrong then ignore my ask.

So Yautja's know that humans do not have strong instics as they do but they have certain things the Yautja don't have. Like uncanny valley.

So in this, the Yautja is with their human when they suddenly freeze. When they ask their human what's wrong, they don't awnser, just stearing off at somthing that they see. The Yautja can smell the fear and panic off of them.

What does the Yautja do?

Please please please please ignore this if I went aginst you're rules! Have a good day/night

Male Yautja OC (Bako) x male reader

Headcanons

I imagined this as Bako, who was mentioned a few times in my last yautja post, which you can read here.

Bako is a very chill Yautja compared to others. Hes already had multiple offspring and is still in his prime. It gives him a good amount of confidence and comfort in himself.

It also makes him a bit of a tease to his ooman lover, throwing you over his shoulder or just moving you around as he pleased, unless it really annoys you when he does.

He loves the size difference between you as well. You’ll catch him pressing his orange scaled hand against your own every now and then just to look at the difference. Bako always grumbles happily a about it.

But just because he’s more chill than most Yautja doesn’t mean he isn’t as active and aware as everyone else, he’s just great at hiding it behind an easygoing facade. Dating a normal ooman definitely makes him even more on edge and protective.

Hed try to teach you how to at least defend yourself or how to sharpen your instincts enough to protect yourself. You might not be able to kill another yautja in their prime, but you will be able to maul them enough to give you time to get away. Then he will hunt them down and present their skull to you.

Seeing you with a weapon also makes him grumble even more, arms crossed over his chest and his yellow eyes sparkling as he watches you use different firearms. Especially the firearms hes specially kitted for you to fit your hands and size.

If you take an interest in camoflague hed be more than happy to show you too, since hes mastered the art. Even without all his gear, Bako is able to melt into the background with ease after years of practice.

Having a more colorful shade in his scales meant he had to be really good at what he did, or he would have died one way or another. He just has to figure out how to really blend the different colors on your human skin.

But even with all this, Bako is always weary like any Yautja worth their salt should be. This is also why he notices pretty much immediately that you are weirded out or weary about something.

Having a Yautja partner can be pretty damn annoying sometimes with how protective and possessive they’ll be. Even if you guys are walking through what’s supposed to be a peaceful market, you still find Bako almost glued against your back.

Maybe you spot a species that just looks… uncomfortably human. But not really. You know like those ai robots that have skin that doesn’t really fit, or they blink too slowly and more too stiffly.

It makes you freeze for a moment, immediately sending alarm bells ringing inside Bakos head. There should be no reason for you to freeze, his clan had come to this market for years and it should be safe.

But smelling the discomfort and uncomfortable fear from you makes his mandibles flare under his mask, looking down at you for a moment to see where you are looking, before snapping his head in that direction, ready to kill.

Of course, you end up having to hold him back and explain that no, that alien didn’t say or do anything, yes, you were okay. It was just a weird human survival reaction.

You end up having to explain uncanny valley to him, and how once upon a time, humans developed pattern recognition for survival reasons.

This makes sense to Bako after you explain. He mentions something about other species that looked like humans coming to earth, to hunt humans, so of course you guys developed survival instincts against them.

This has you thinking “excuse me, what?” because what did he mean by that. of course, Bako just shrugs and goes “I thought you knew” and keeps you guys moving, as if he didn’t just drop that bomb on you.

Bako keeps being extra protective the rest of the day, as if just the smell of your fear keeps him on edge. Just in case, ya know? What if something jumps out of the shadows at you? You never knew out here. You just have to accept it, and accept all the cuddles later.

[evangelical04]

A Single Daffodil || Valentine's Day Special

Summary: Spending Valentine's Day alone can be a little embarrassing, a lot self-deprecating. But maybe, it won't be so bad this year.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Rating: PG

Word Count: 4.1K

Genre: angst, romance, unrequited love, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, businessman yoongi

Warnings: maybe some angst?? not really, it's pretty fluffy

Author's Note: hi everyone! hope you don't mind getting tagged for just a special lol. i thought it'd be fun to post something for valentine's day (especially because i don't have any plans lol), so here it is! view this as an AU of sorts since they're in college, i wouldn't call it canon. it isn't super closely proofread so i'm sorry for any errors, i just wanted to get this posted today!! hope you guys enjoy!!

TAGLIST CLOSED [follow asingledaffodil tag for all notifications]

@yoongisducky @kam9404 @sumzysworld @tarahardcore @viankiss @babystarcandyrecs @ktownshizzle @futuristicenemychaos @igot7fairlyoddparents @baechugff @pb89nv @peachytokki @ratherbfangirling @themwordsblog @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs @kimmalik @pastelpeachess @captainchrisstan @khaimahfe @kooklovee @whoa-jo @familiarlikemymirror3 @blueberriesm @llallaaa @purpleheartsandarock1 @lillmeowmeowsblog @this-most-assuredly-counts @kayleefriedchicken @ur-grandmum @sylviamuela @notarshia @minghaosimp @ilikekpop-c @maynina @rinkud @jesshujk @kimsaerom @suker4angst @mar-627 @maynina @pitchblack0309 @wobblewobble822 @praetae @yoongibaybee @weareatthebadlands

masterlist

The chilly air tickled your nose, making you stifle a sneeze. You could feel an itch scratching at the back of your throat, threatening a violent outburst and inciting a ‘bless you’ from the nearest passerby. Despite the cold winds nipping at your face, pressing small icicles like pinpricks against your cheeks, you trekked on. Midterms were approaching for some of your classes and you knew you weren’t going to get anything done at your apartment, not with Joohee shoving her way through the door with the latest sweet monstrosity she had concocted at the coffee shop across the street. 

Why was it still so cold? You knew it was only mid-February, but it felt unfair for you to still be able to see your breath and have to layer a jacket on top of your sweater on top of your long sleeve shirt. The headphones encasing your ear were your makeshift earmuffs, with the added bonus of soft and smooth jazz soothing your attitude. Finally, finally, you reached the other cafe near your place, tucked away between buildings and down stairs. You frequented the location often, finding their atmosphere more suited to your taste than Joohee’s favorite spot, it was quiet and serene, the lack of windows made time pass before you knew it. You loved it here.

As you walked past the counter, waving to the baristas who knew your face well by now, you set your stuff down at your regular table in the far corner, digging through your tote for your wallet. Triumphant, you approached the counter, placing an order for an iced tea, despite the icy weather, and treating yourself to one of their warm and savory sandwiches. After you’d collected your food, making your way back to your table, you allowed yourself a few minutes to enjoy your hot sandwich and contrasting iced tea. After this, you’d truly have to focus your whole attention. 

With only crumbs left on your plate and your tea halfway finished, you switched tabs in your laptop to your design project. You were only a third year, but your classes were already about building portfolios and perfecting your coding ability. You weren’t excited to resume working on your project, but you were thankful you had graduated from the classes where they had exams instead of projects. However thankful you had felt reading the syllabi vanished in the face of having to reset yet another bug in Maya, causing your camera to not follow the line you’d animated. More papers for your character design class weighed down your tote, only making you hunch over further in anticipation of the workload you had ahead of you. While you did enjoy this, you hoped you would be able to get into project management someday, you knew that’s where your organizational skills would shine. 

Only an hour had gone by of you sitting in the plush chair and ordering another drink, this time with a muffin, when the peaceful air in the cafe was disturbed. Three men had walked in, clad in joggers, sweatshirts, and casual looking khakis, with the tallest laughing loudly and smacking another man on the shoulder. You squinted, trying to get a better look at the laughing man, before realizing why he looked so familiar. 

Kim Seokjin was as boisterous as ever, his gap year last year proving to have only amplified his loud and extroverted presence. Joohee had complained to her parents that she hadn’t gotten to take a gap year to travel, but you knew she secretly had no interest in it, her days were too occupied with you and Hoseok. The man Seokjin had clapped on the shoulder was one you didn’t recognize, tan skin and short hair, round, wiry glasses slipping down his nose. He waved off Seokjin’s persistent hand attempting to ruffle his hair, before taking a seat at a table not far from you. When he shot Seokjin a fond smile, though, you were stunned by his deep dimples and crinkled eyes, he was certainly pretty. 

The last man, rather short compared to the other two, was another familiar face. Your eyes dragged across his bleach blonde hair, a new look for him, down his chubby, pale cheeks and pouty lips, before tracing his black sweatshirt, past his dark joggers, and sweeping over his white tennis shoes. Min Yoongi looked beautiful every time you saw him. Where you thought his bleach blonde hair, once a dark and natural black, would wash him out, it actually created a stunning contrast to his harsh glare from dark eyes. His upturned mouth curved a soft frown into his face, the occasional swipe of his tongue across dry lips making your eyes dart away. How he managed to look soft and dangerous at the same time was a wonder, but one you fully enjoyed. 

Okay, so maybe you were a bit head over heels for him considering the lack of conversation that you two had held, but that was the beauty of an unrequited crush. You could ogle and pine, glance and fantasize all you wanted without having the crushing weight of reality fall down upon you. You were fully self-aware of your infatuation and the dim likelihood of your crush being returned, but you were okay with that, or so you told yourself. 

It wasn’t as though you hadn’t tried to pursue other options, but they hadn’t worked out. Mina’s disappointed expression still burned in your memory, and it was a solid reason as to why you hadn’t explored outside further. Unrequited love was easier, there was no expectation of reciprocation, the untouchableness of your object of affection was comforting, you could confidently like him from afar. Did it hurt when you saw him with other people? Sure, but you liked to imagine that it hurt less because you never expected anything in the first place. 

Seokjin’s booming voice snapped you from your thoughts, and you instead watched them place their orders at the register. You wondered what each one would order based on their appearances. Seokjin was probably ordering a seasonal holiday special, you could practically hear everything he was saying, and he was asking for extra blackberry syrup. The tall man behind him, the one you didn’t know, seemed like a hot cappuccino kind of guy. The air around him screamed elegant academic and you could imagine him sipping from a steaming ceramic cup while writing an award winning research paper. Yoongi, though, you weren’t sure, you didn’t know him that well. A black coffee, no milk, no sugar? An americano? It was hard to place which of the bitter, dark roast drinks he’d enjoy the most. 

You turned away, what would you know anyway? It wasn’t your business. You had no connection to them, you had you remind yourself of that. Focusing your attention back on the dull grey of the Maya UI had you almost groaning out loud. You wished you could be doing anything else.

The constant chattering in Yoongi’s ear was beginning to get grating. He was trying his best to focus on studying for his upcoming finance exam, but it was proving to be impossible with Jin blabbering away about something or other. He’d stopped actually paying attention a while ago, but Jin’s voice was difficult to tune out despite Yoongi’s best efforts. Namjoon seemed largely unaffected next to him, highlighting away in his handwritten notes. Despite Namjoon being a year younger, they were taking the same level of courses, and Yoongi was sure Namjoon was going to beat him at every turn in scores. 

Not that it mattered, Yoongi knew he had a position waiting for him at Min Enterprises, right under his father. He knew he should feel privileged, he was and he knew that, but he couldn’t help the seed of resentment that grew tall and thorny inside him. He had managed to sneak a few music courses into his schedule but his rat of an advisor had tattled on him to his father. It made sense, he supposed, his father was basically the one paying the advisor’s salary. It had left a sour taste in his mouth for what his future would look like, but Yoongi couldn’t outwardly complain. He knew his friends felt somewhat similarly, but it was dangerous to discuss things like that in this sort of social circle. Yoongi had learned the hard way that you didn’t know who was friend or foe until the knife was already lodged into your back, and Yoongi knew better than to make the same mistake twice. 

“I think that’s Joo’s friend over there, Y/N,” Seokjin mentioned offhandedly, Yoongi finally tuning back into his friend’s rambling, “Should we say hi?” Jin looked questioningly at Yoongi and Namjoon, only receiving blank stares in response. 

“I mean, I don’t know her,” Namjoon said bluntly, but kindly, “And I’m kind of in the zone right now.”

Jin pouted, turning to Yoongi with a hopeful gleam in his eye, only to be met with Yoongi’s resolute frown and small shake of his head. 

“I barely know her either,” Yoongi said, more matter-of-factly than anything, “And besides, who wants to be ambushed by their friend’s older brother while they’re trying to study.”

“You guys are no fun,” Jin complained, only receiving agreeing hums from both Yoongi and Namjoon. 

Yoongi turned his attention back to his laptop, seeing the words on the screen swim together. Finance was boring and difficult, and despite his troublemaker appearance, Yoongi tried his hardest in his classes. Even if he was going to be handed a position at Min Enterprises anyway, he could at least say that he’d earned his degree with his own perspiration and grit. 

That was easier said than done, though, and the only thing keeping Yoongi going right now was the 8 hour time slot he’d booked for one of the music school’s studios for him and Joon after exams. 

“Valentine’s day is soon,” Jin began, “Just a few days out, you two got any plans?”

Yoongi knew that Jin had a date with some girl from the nursing college and he was only asking them so he could eventually talk about his own plans. 

On Yoongi’s left, Namjoon shrugged, “I’m meeting this girl from one of my classes, she asked to get dinner that night.”

Jin wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“It’s just dinner,” Namjoon said, “I’m not really that interested in her, but I felt bad saying no.”

“Boring,” Jin sung, “What about you, Yoongs?”

Yoongi shot him a glare for the nickname but it bounced off of Jin’s bright demeanor, “I don’t have anything planned.”

Jin rolled his eyes before speaking once more, “Well, I have plans, and I’m going to tell you right now whether you want to hear or not.”

That was Yoongi’s cue to tune him out again, his mind drifting to the upcoming holiday. He’d had some Valentine’s dates before, one or two over the course of college, and he’d been inundated with sweet gifts during middle and high school, but he’d never had a sweet tooth. Yoongi wasn’t interested in romance right now, though, he was focused on making sure he’d graduate in a few months. Sex and love could wait until after that. 

Well, he supposed he didn’t have a reason to delay sex, but he was sorely lacking time at the moment. He split his days between studying, basketball (when it was warm enough), and any open slots he could find at the studio. There was barely any time for dates or one night stands. He’d waited this long, he could wait another few months until he graduated and had evenings to himself. 

Listening to Jin go on and on about how pretty this girl was, though, did make him feel just the tiniest bit lonely.

Was it just you that curled your lip at the cheesy decorations lining the streets of campus? You hoped not, you didn’t want to consider how much of a grouch that made you. The constant barrage of hearts and pink kiss cut outs left you feeling a bit sick. Whether it was from the corny decorations or the reminder of your single status was a question you also didn’t want to explore. It was somewhat late in the morning of Valentine’s day when you were making your way to the same cafe as before. Your roommate was having her boyfriend over and you quickly understood the unspoken hint of making yourself scarce and decided upon enjoying an iced tea from your favorite cafe. 

Your projects were still unfinished and you’d resolved to make major headway today, considering they were due in the upcoming week. You blew out a short breath, seeing the vapor form in front of you, your weekend was going to be completely taken up by school. Pushing open the doors of the cafe, you took in your surroundings, noting how unusually empty it was. People must have better things to do on Valentine’s day, but where did that leave you?

You quickly ordered and received your food, making yourself comfy in your usual seat. Looking around the bare room left you feeling a bit upset, did everyone but you have a valentine this year? A quick glance at the two giggling baristas holding hands over the table confirmed your worries. You took an aggressive sip of your drink before opening your laptop, it didn’t matter, you had work to do. Soon, you forgot about your anxieties of loneliness in the face of intense work, focusing your full attention on the project in front of you. You were so distracted that you didn’t realize someone else had entered the cafe until they sat down across from you at your table. 

The sound of a backpack plopping down across from you startled you to attention, looking up at the person at the source of the sound. Dark eyes stared back at you with a single raised eyebrow hidden underneath blonde bangs. Your mouth opened slightly in shock before you closed it, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Yoongi’s face. 

“Is anyone sitting here already?”

You shook your head silently, still at a loss for words.

“Cool.”

Yoongi left his backpack on the adjacent chair before going up the register to order a hot americano with four shots of espresso. You made sure to take off your headphones and strain your ears to hear his order this time, watching him wait and return to your table after receiving the steaming cup. Your eyes didn’t leave his form the entire time, still unable to comprehend why he decided to sit next to you. His expression offered no answers, impassive and unreadable, and his voice supplied none either, choosing to silently sit and start working rather than speak to you. 

You stared at him for another few beats before returning back to your own work, what else were you supposed to do? However much you tried to focus on finishing your cutscene, your head swam with racing thoughts of why Yoongi was acting the way he was. It was becoming increasingly hard to focus with his form across from you, seemingly unbothered. Nevertheless, you tried your best to focus your attention on your laptop screen and not on the relaxed figure on the other side of the table. For a while, it worked, but you were beginning to get frustrated with your lack of progress. You could feel your bottom lip jutting out in an unintentional pout and your anger grew as you ran your unsatisfactory frames again, solidifying the need for more work to be done. 

You picked up your empty cup, hearing the ice shake, and exhaling in disappointment. Standing quietly, you attempted not to disturb Yoongi’s flow, though he seemed apathetic to your presence either way. His cup was seemingly empty, set aside and no longer steaming, and you considered your next move. The barista at the register happily took your order for another tea, sending a wink to the other girl behind the counter, who giggled in response. You held in an eyeroll, you couldn’t be mad at them, the two girls were adorably cute together, but you were already annoyed and on edge from your project going awry, not to mention the frustratingly stoic man sitting at your table. 

“Can I have a blueberry muffin, too, please,” you asked before you second guess yourself. The girl nodded, ringing you up, before handing you the muffin and drink after a minute or two. You breathed slowly, this would be a big step, a peace offering of sorts. If he said no, you would just eat the damn muffin yourself. It wasn’t such a big deal, or so you told yourself as you walked over.

Wait, what if he didn’t say anything at all?

There was no time to ponder that question as you’d already reached the table. You placed the muffin down next to him with shaky fingers before taking your own seat silently, you couldn’t look into his eyes. Not having enough courage to actually say anything, you instead took a long sip of your drink and stared hard at your computer. You remained steadfast in your gaze, locked into a staring competition with the editing software, before your attention was drawn by fingers tapping by the side of your laptop. You looked up, making eye contact with Yoongi’s gaze, still unreadable. 

“Thanks for the muffin,” he said quietly, his voice slightly gruff.

You nodded, sending him a tight-lipped smile, about to return your gaze to your work before he spoke once more. 

“Seo Y/N, right?”

Your mouth parted in shock, did he really know you? Did he really remember you? You nodded mutely in response to him.

“You’re Joohee’s friend, right? Jin hyung had mentioned you the other day,” he said, taking a bite of the muffin. 

You deflated slightly. Of course he didn’t actually remember you, he only knew you as Joohee’s friend. What other reason would you occupy his mind, if you even crossed it at all. Sending another polite smile in response, you struggled for something to say. 

“You’re Min Yoongi,” you stated, immediately regretting the bluntness of the words. You couldn’t come up with anything better than that? It wasn’t even a question, you had said like you already knew so what room did you leave him to respond? Your first conversation with him in years was already failing due to your social ineptness.

Yoongi, however, seemed more amused than anything, a barely there smile decorating his face and a slight tilt to his head, “Yeah, that’s me. What are you working on that’s got you huffing and puffing over there?”

His description of your behavior made your cheeks warm, “A project for class, I have to make a game cutscene.”

“Oh,” he questioned, raising an eyebrow, “You’re studying games?”

Your cheeks flamed even brighter, it sounded so stupid when he put it like that. In reality, you were studying project management and game design, but you had heard enough reactions from your parents’ friends to know that didn’t matter. All they heard was that it wasn’t a doctor, lawyer, or business, and that was enough for them to write it off. It felt even worse to hear the same amused, almost condescending, tone from Yoongi. You knew you had idolized him past his reality, but you’d hoped he would at least be more open minded than the other people that populated your family’s social circle. You felt yourself curl inwards a bit, retracting your hand back into your lap and trying to wipe your probably crestfallen expression off of your face. 

“That’s pretty cool,” he mused, eyes looking somewhere far off instead of you, “I’m amazed your parents let you.”

An involuntary scoff left your lips, making him focus his gaze back to you, “It came with its own price.”

He chuckled humorlessly, “It always does. Sometimes it feels like our parents are more like business partners than actual parents.”

Your hand stilled on your keyboard, his words striking a chord within you. They rang true, recalling most conversations with your parents sounding like a business meeting more than anything else, even when you were a kid. You were raised by maids and nannies, even your older brother barely interacted with you, your only reprieve was Joohee. Every time your parents came into your room, rare as it was, it was always to discuss your academics and nothing else. You worked hard for their approval, but even that came with consequences, further alienating your brother from you with the implicit competition expected between you. It saddened you, in a kindred spirit kind of way, to think that Yoongi had experienced something similar. 

“Do you have something you wanted to do instead,” you asked before you could stop yourself. Maybe that was out of line. 

Yoongi paused for a moment, considering your question, before smiling wistfully, “Yeah, I do.”

You were floored by the sparkle in his eyes, a flush to his cheeks, and a longing smile almost forming on his lips. In that moment, you knew that he couldn’t stop pursuing whatever it was that made him light up like that. 

“You should go for it,” you said, words tumbling out of your mouth, “I know it’s easier said than done, but it doesn’t have to be your livelihood. Your parents don’t have to know, isn’t it better to get there without them? But you shouldn’t give it up for anyone else, only if you really, truly want to.” You exhaled unsteadily, certainly not your most eloquent moment, but you hoped that what you were trying to say came across. 

Yoongi’s piercing gaze made you squirm, worried that you had gone too far. It wasn’t your business after all, and his continued silence made you feel like he didn’t appreciate your uninvited input. You unconsciously began wringing your fingers against each other, avoiding his intense gaze. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled meekly after he continued to stare at you without saying anything.

Yoongi seemed to snap back into the conversation, shaking his head slightly, “No, no, thank you. I’ll definitely have to keep that in mind.”

You weren’t sure if he was being serious or just polite, but at least he didn’t seem mad. You were happy with that. Just about to continue your work once more, your eyes caught his mouth opening once more, his tone straightforward but not unkind. 

“I hope you take your own advice.”

You and Yoongi had been working in comfortable silence, interrupted by the occasional conversation, mainly started by Yoongi since you were still too nervous to say anything unprompted. It was getting late, but you didn’t want to leave. Sitting in the empty cafe with no windows with your longtime crush felt like a dream, and you didn’t want to wake up. 

“So, how come you’re sitting here studying and not out on some date? Shouldn’t you be enjoying your youth to the fullest,” Yoongi asks, taking a bite out of a second muffin.

You smiled, “Shouldn’t you be doing the same?”

Yoongi only shook his head, prompting you to continue.

“No special reason, I guess, just don’t have a valentine,” you said, not wanting to delve into the complicated reasoning for your single status, “What about you?”

Yoongi hums, taking another bite of his muffin, “About the same here, just too busy this time of year to find someone.”

You nodded along even though your heart sank a bit, was it really that easy for him to find a date that time was the only thing stopping him? It’s not like you were expecting him to be celibate in consideration of your hidden feelings, but it was a bit disheartening that romance seemed to come so easy to him when you struggled with it so much. Maybe you were the problem.

“Tell you what,” Yoongi starts, cheeks puffed from polishing off the last of his muffin, “Since we’re both without a valentine this year, how about for today, we’ll be each other’s valentine.”

You looked up at him in shock, “What do you mean?”

“We’ve already spent most of the day together anyway, so let’s just call each other our valentine’s for today,” he said simply, as though he hadn’t just made your heart stutter.

You knew it was casual, a joke even, for him, but you wanted to relish in this moment, just a small bit of delusion to sprinkle into your fantasies. It’s not like you had any other prospects.

“Okay,” you smiled, “I think you’ll make a good enough valentine.”

Yoongi only smiled in response, “I think you’ll do just fine, too.”

masterlist

[throatgoat4u]

hello, hello, hello, hello to all my lovely people out there. i wanna start of by saying happy valentines to every single one of you. whether you're single, in a relationship, or have just broken up, i hope you all enjoy this amazing day of love and share it with their loved ones.

today's not just about a romantic partner, but to people who you just love. tell your family how much you love and appreciate them for all they've done for you and if that's not an option, share your gratitude with your friends or people who have constantly been there for you and have made you feel loved.

do something kind for someone. give them a hug, write them a letter, compliment them, whatever. you don't have to make some big gesture or go all out, just let someone know you appreciate them.

but most importantly, make sure you love yourself. self love is just as, if not more, important than anything else. how are you supposed to put in your time and effort in loving someone else if you can't do that for yourself? so whether you want to go out and spoil yourself or stay in and take a nice bath and watch movies, make sure you're putting your love for yourself first.

but, loving yourself isn't just about spa days and self care (but like that shit's like amazing so like i definitely recommend a nice everything shower if you're not doing anything today.....) it's also about speaking to yourself kindly, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and acknowledging that you deserve just as much love as everyone else on this amazing day!

now, that being said, i'm gonna spread all my love to some of the most amazing people on this app! (this is where my formality ends, trust 🤞)

@onevison. i literally love you so much omg. you are one of the nicest people ever and you're actually so creative with your aus. i love talking to you and always enjoy when we chat. i love you!

@freshloveee. you're so so so good at writing and genuinely one of my favorite writers on this app. you're honestly so sweet and kind. i love you!

@chrepsi. you're genuinely one of the funniest people on this app, i cannot. i love your vibe and your music taste is just so ugh. you're so cool. i love you!

@muwapsturniolo. so you're literally amazing?!?! like you're so gorgeous and funny and such an amazing writer. idek how many times i've reread your shit but it's too many to count. anywho..... when's the next album coming out sza????? i love you!

@leoslaboratory. i just binge read your fics last night btw. you're fucking amazing and i love everything you do. dealer!chris is amazing and i absolutely love it. your fics for black history month are eating btw. i love you!

@phone4pills. so so so cool. you're theme is so cool, you're fics are so cool, you are so cool. i'm genuinely sooo happy anytime i've seen that you've posted a new fic or something and am always looking forward to when you write more. i love you!

@mattscoquette. you're just sooooo like awesome. i love everything you write and i love scrolling through watching you answer asks cause you're so funny. i'm still heartbroken over a change of heart (and the fact that you've ruined that song for me 💔). also like petition to bring back my man perv!matt. he doesn't get the love he deserve. anyways, when i was lurking here, i would always stalk your page and you were the first person i found on sturniolo tumblr. you were genuinely such an inspiration for me and one of the biggest reasons i started posting what i write. i love you!

@thenickgirl. you're my favorite nick girl out there. i love how you write for him and give him the attention he absolutely deserves. just cause he's gay doesn't mean we should leave him out guys 😞💔. you're such an amazing writer and you're so funny. i love you!

@t0riiiis. you're literally like so relatable and i feel like i can always talk to you without getting bored. you're there for me and you've shown your love for me countless times and i cannot even begin to say how much it means to me. i love you!

@oopsiedaisydeer. i'm sooo happy that we're like friends now because you're such a nice and cool person. you're an amazing writer and i love when i see updates on your ponyo au. you're so sweet and show me so much support on literally everything. i love you!

@bernardsbendystraws. dare i say that you're the mother of sturniolo tumblr?!?! you're genuinely such and amazing and funny person and make the tumblr fandom a much better place. i love how during that whole pedo scandal, you were there for absolutely every single person and were so helpful in the whole ordeal. you aren't scared of what anyone says about you and you're so confident, it's so admirable (this also goes for @muwapsturniolo, cause if i recall correctly she called her workplace or something like that which is honestly a boss ass move). your writing is also just amazing and never disappoints. you're like a breath of fresh air (that sounded better in my head but it's okay). i love you!

and i've saved the best for last, @snoopychris. idek what to say. like i'm being serious. i love you so much and you're my absolute favorite person on here. i love being able to talk to you everyday and ik you'll be there to listen without judgement. you're so funny (and a bit odd) and i love you for it. you're genuinely like a big sister to me in a way and i just feel like talking to you makes my day. whether it's about an au or just yapping (or saying some weird shit about chris) it always makes my day just so much better. i literally trust you soooo much even if we’ve only known each other for a short time. like when i say i trust you, i mean like i TRUST you. atp, i trust you enough to know what my face looks like, my actual name, and other personal info. like genuinely i feel so comfortable talking to you and you never fail to make me happy! you're such a fun person and so creative. also you're writing?!?! i literally love it. i love you 🧠!

obviously there are so many other people who i absolutely love, adore, and cherish with my whole heart, but these people stick out to me! anyways, i love you guys so much and am so thankful for everyone's constant support. i'm so happy with all the new friends i've made on this app and am looking forward to making many many many more! with lots of love...

toodles sluts :)

(i felt it was necessary to bring back sluts for this post...)

also the fact that i actually wrote that shit at the top from my heart impresses me….. like what?!?!

also one last note, if there’s some misspelled words or i’m just repeating myself like an idiot, please note that its still early and even tho i woke up over an hour ago, im still like half asleep

[cheesycatz]

Parasitic worm pretends to be your valentine so you don't notice that they're the reason you have 24 days left to live

Wormton AU fic is 190k words now! : )

Nothing crazy new plot wise, more bonding and found family stuff. Obligatory fluff after how much these guys had to go through. I like describing all the sounds he makes when isn't trying to suppress them; chirps, warbles, trills, chirrs, chitters, screeches, snarls, and that weird computer whirring sound he makes that may or may not have the same connotations as purring (sorry I couldn't resist)

I'm excited to go through revisions! It's been so long since I wrote some of this stuff that I don't remember the fine details, so it's genuinely fun for me to read through. Also, I had fun making disguised wormton seem as cursed as possible without actually describing his real form until post-reveal. Blue was probably the only one who didn't think he was some deranged serial killer at first sight, which, fair enough. I was kind of worried about a few very minor original characters I added not being accepted, but then I remembered that Trashy the trash can probably has more speaking lines than any one of them and it probably isn't that big of a deal. I hope you enjoy the one chapter with these three kids putting their LPS animal dolls through the most traumatizing, heart-wrenching, dark story as we all did as children (I promise it's plot relevant and contains symbolism).

Drew some non-canon wormton stuff for Valentine’s Day. I mean, I don't know how you would send a valentine to an elusive homeless man with no official documentation of his existence. The asexually reproducing computer worm guy can't feel anything romantic, but he would love to take advantage of you—gladly accept your lovely gifts. Bro’s just teasing haha he would never inject parasitic worm larvae into your abdomen just don't go to the doctor in the next 24 days please he definitely loves you and not the worms hypothetically eating your organs

“worm.vbs” is a reference to the file type used by the ILOVEYOU worm and other old malware. I only know this because I realized that one of the official spamton valentines from last year contains its exact file name “LOVE-LETTER-FOR-YOU.TXT.vbs”. sharing this trivia because it was like the one reference in those valentines that I didn't see anyone mention back then and because it makes me feel smart

Food for thought:

Honestly, he'd be pretty scary if it weren't for his justified fear of the antivirus forces. Malworm safety is all about avoiding disembodied voices trying to lure you into alleys, so the fact that you can physically see his relatively humanoid disguised form would make him seem dangerously trustworthy. I was thinking about what would've happened if he would've gotten help from the person on the phone (probably gaster I guess? idk). He could've totally been like a cult leader manipulating people into willingly becoming hosts because it was honorable or whatever. And that could combine with the fact that their venom slightly influences the brain. And the followers would've thought he was simply dressing up as a malworm and his fall from grace would've been when they realized he was just a malworm in disguise infecting them and prolonging the invasion. I prefer what I have now; lonely hypothetically-murderous wormton is a lot more redeemable than very-murderous cult leader wormton would be. The addisons, or anyone really, would want nothing to do with him. Fun to think about! And only to think about; I'd rather focus on the version I have now.

See you next time at the big 200k 👀 chapter 3 might actually come out before my multi-book-length spamton fanfiction but don't worry I would never abandon my favorite freak of nature

yappin complete B)

[jessicafangirl]

An Arrow To The Heart

Oh I made it before Valentines Day! Whoo hoo here's the nearly 15K word monster I birthed. This started as a ficlit idea that just became this. Copia is a wordy bitch when he's doing the deed. And I love writing for him.

I also love dark Copia and him being just super protective and a touch evil...but evil in a good way. I hope you like this. I went smutty. There's smut. There's some Special Ghoul Phil. There's a dark ending. It's super self indulgent and I don't care. He's my comfort boo.

This is you and Copia. You who haven't joined the church but have fallen in love with your friend who is now Frater. You've become head of the Ghost Projects PR Department and there's some siblings that like to spread rumors you got the job because you are banging the boss and they don't like you. BOYYY does Copia not like this. So yeah...enjoy this Valentines Day Frater fest.

You can also read it here on AO3. Please share if you like it. Let me know if you like it. Let me know if this made your V day (HE'S COMING) brighter. Viva Ghost.

It wasn’t just the week, it had been an entire month, almost two of non-stop disappointments and feeling like nothing was going to work. You felt yourself drowning in work, in expectations you had created for yourself, and you were never going to meet them.

At one point the flu had decided to attach itself to you and you had barricaded yourself away from everyone working through it remotely with a 101.00 fever. Copia had nearly broken your door down when he’d discovered this, already angry about being denied the opportunity to take care of you. But you weren’t going to let him get sick too. As it was, a Facetime call that was filled with glaring, darkened eyes and a loud Italian voice saying, “YOU TURN OFF THAT CAZZO OF A MACHINE AND GO TO BED!” made you do just that. The Frater had then had a number of Ghouls show up with medicine and food that you ate some of until you were recovered.

After the flu incident Copia was still angry at you but he’d just have to deal. He wasn’t the one having to prove themselves to every other person at the Ministry and the Ghost Project. Not being a member of the church but working for it AND dating the head of the church put more pressure on you than the lowest level of the ocean, the parts with those creepy fish with the teeth and glowing eyes. Everyone doubted you had what it took to handle the PR for the project, to get more eyes and ears on things, including the new guy. It was a massively important time and….you didn’t know if you had it in you. And you damn well knew that Sister Phyllis and the other siblings whose glares followed you as you walked down hallways on phone calls or glanced into your open office door actually knew you didn’t have it in you.

The only one who seemed confident you did was Copia. And he just was too soft hearted to admit it, you knew. Everything was so new between you and Frater Imperator Emeritus that he would never admit you weren’t worthy of your position or him. Your relationship had become more than friends after the death of his mother and his ascension…you’d been there when he needed you because Copia had always been there when you needed him. And when it had become public knowledge the already tenuous acceptance you had with the siblings and others of the church turned completely to something else.

Copia didn’t know this or hadn’t heard of it, at least not from you. You weren’t going to have him go storming off to protect your honor. You would do your job well and earn your place, you wouldn’t let him down. He had enough to deal with. So it was you and Phil and the other Ghouls you had to help you became a team.

The beginning of the new Papa’s tour was going to be the death of you, and you knew it. But by god you would make this work before you rattled out your last breath. 14 hour days of prep, of planning, booking interviews for not only Papa V but Copia too. The stress was a living thing but at least the Ghouls could go for days without sleep…even if you couldn’t. Sadly that become evident on your 60th hour of being awake when Phil saw you nearly fall out of your chair. He called your name and then came running over as he saw you blinking tiredly around out of it. On your computer screen was a half-finished email to Metal Edge setting up some photo shoots. Phil’s gloved hand grabbed your shoulder. “Hey, hey are you ok?” He asked.

You rubbed your eyes, glancing at the clock and seeing that it was nearly time for your next meeting with marketing. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine Phil…sorry just sort of dazed out there.” Beneath his mask, Phil’s nostrils flared as he sniffed the air. The scent of exhaustion surrounded you, burning embers and wilting flowers. You were barely hanging on and he knew it. He’d been watching it unfold. He knew why you were pushing yourself this much and it pissed him off. Not anger at you, but the siblings. Phil liked you. You were loyal to Copia and that meant you were loyal to Copia’s Ghouls. Copia loved you like a lunatic which meant his Ghouls felt that same dedication….though sadly for some of them not with the benefits.

Copia was a lucky Frater.

But this was concerning. He’d not witnessed you nearly falling into the floor before. He was going to have to narc, and he hated that…but he knew you were too thick headed to listen to him. So he’d have to get Copia to get involved. He seemed to be able to get you to listen if the flu incident was any indication.

Sister Constance arrived just as you were leaving for your meeting. The older woman gave you a smile which was rare. “I just wanted to let you know that the art you approved has started being printed on the merchandise.” Constance said. “And I have to commend you for the choices and the colors. It looks brilliant.”

You nearly ran into the door jam. “Oh…thank you!” You were flustered, not used to hearing praise from any of the siblings. You’d never had a problem with Constance though…you’d just never had much time other than design meetings to speak with her. “The artist is one of my favorites and she’s just got an eye for the Ghost style.”

Constance nodded, her habit falling gracefully over her shoulders. “Well, good job and good eye. Satan bless you.”

You gave her an awkward smile as you hurried to the meeting room. At your departure Constance turned to Phil who was working at his desk. “She looks like she’s made of ash and has Frater’s eye make-up…but that’s just her skin.” She said to him.

Phil let out a sigh. “I know…it’s getting worse.”

The sister sat down opposite him. “She can’t keep this pace.”

The Ghoul reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a half full bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He filled them each with a shot, handing one to Constance. “I’m going to talk to Frater. He’s not going to be happy, but something has to be done.”

Constance drank down the shot in one go, barely wincing. “Phyllis is a bitch. She’ll keep her running until she falls over.”

Phil lifted his mask enough that his grey tinted lips were visible and drank his own shot. He hissed at the mention of Phyllis. “I really want an accident to happen to that one.”

Constance raised her eyebrows. “I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Phil stood, putting away the bottle. “Don’t tempt me.” He said.

“That’s part of my job, isn’t it?” Constance laughed.

The Ghoul took hold of her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “I’m too old for you gorgeous.” He said, his tail wrapping around her lined neck in a light embrace. “Pray to Satan I make it through the melt down he’s going to have when I tell him about this.” He said as he let go of her hand and brought his tail into line.

Copia’s new office was larger and on the same floor as his new apartments, which were also larger. Being Frater had benefits. Phil stopped at the office’s carved wooden door with the shiny new plaque stating “Office Of Frater Imperator” next to it…in case the large, ornate Grucifix that had been chiseled into the dark wood along with the Latin phrasing “Father of Darkness, Leader of the Faithful” wasn’t enough.

Phil took a deep breath and then hit the button that buzzed letting Copia know someone was coming in.

“Hellooo?” His muffled voice called out.

Phil took that as his okay to enter and pushed open the door. Copia was seated at the large desk in front of his computer. His black suit was pristine, the jacket hanging on the coat stand. His black rhinestone collar was removed and setting on the desk next to the remains of two juice boxes and a half eaten cheeseburger. You could upscale the title, but Copia would always be Copia.

Copia finished typing up a response to one of the other abbeys regarding a visit in the next few months and turned to see Phil standing patiently, his hands behind his back. “Ah! Phil! What can I do for you?”

Copia’s mismatched eyes held a bit of concern in them the Ghoul noticed. He didn’t come here often so he knew Copia would realize something had to be up. “Frater, I feel I need to speak to you regarding some things, may I sit?”

Copia’s brow narrowed. Okay, something was definitely up. He tried to remember if you’d mentioned anything in the last few days that might have spurred this visit. And then Copia realized…he hadn’t really seen you in the last few days more than a couple of minutes. That hurt suddenly. He’d been so busy he’d not thought about the fact that he’d been neglecting his amore. What a horrible moment to have that realization.

“Of course, si si. Mi dispacia I’ve been so busy I haven’t had a chance to visit the publicity team in the last few days. But you all do such a good job eh? I don’t feel like you need me as they say…micro managing.” Copia quickly cleared away his now very cold lunch to try and be a little more proper.

Phil nodded. He really did like Copia, strange quirks and all. He sat down, “That’s alright Frater. What I need to discuss is a little more personal in nature though.”

Copia paused, his heart thudding in his throat. Was this it? Was this when he would find out his cara was leaving him for a Ghoul or just leaving in general because he was a horrible excuse for a paramour? Was it Phil? Satanus….was it Phil?

“Oh…eh…okay…please go on.” Copia turned, giving his full attention to the silver masked Ghoul. Under his desk his gloved hands were gripping each other in a death grip. He didn’t know what he’d do if Phil said “We’re in love Frater. She’s mine and she says I’m three times the man you are…and I’m not even a man.” Copia had never gone to blows with a Ghoul but…never say never.

Phil leaned back in his chair. The scent of paranoia was strong in the room now with an underly of jealousy. Copia had no idea what he was about to say. “Frater this is about…”

At the mention of your name the sound of the leather gloves fingers clenching harder could be heard. Copia’s heart started slamming in his chest. He was right…this was it….he was going to be left alone by…everyone.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Go…go on.” He managed to say.

Phil took a breath. The things he did for his faith…not that he had a choice, he was a summoned Ghoul…but even then there should be limits, right?

“Frater, she’s working very, very hard.” He said.

Copia felt a tiny bit of tension leave him. “Si, I know, she’s a very hard worker.”

“No Frater, I mean she’s working too hard. She’s working herself sick and well…I felt you needed to know the reason.” The Ghoul’s voice was kind, like he was talking to a child.

Confusion crossed Copia’s face. Working herself sick?? He flashed back to when you had walled yourself away, when he’d had to basically yell over a phone screen to stop and rest. He had expected that to be enough to get you back on a healthy mindset but…cazzo…he’d been so caught up in being head of the church and in his own head he hadn’t realized where yours was. But that last sentence…the reason?

“Phil, what are you saying? What is going on with her? What is the reason?” He asked, his voice taking a tone that not many had witnessed. Steady, steely.

The Ghoul laced his fingers together and prepared for the aftermath of what he was about to say. “She nearly fell off her chair today from exhaustion. I could smell it. She’s been awake for over 60 hours Frater.”

A look of horror crossed Copia’s face. “Satanus…what…”

Phil continued. “It’s the siblings Frater. It’s the way they treat her like an outsider and the jealousy. It drips off them like acid. Not all of them…but there are some that feel she’s got her position because she’s…well…you and her. She feels she has to prove herself. I’ve seen it and I’ve tried to get her to realize she doesn’t need to prove anything but you know…you know how she is. She won’t listen.” Copia hadn’t said anything so Phil decided to just keep going. “She also feels she needs to prove she’s good enough for you.”

Copia felt like he’d been slapped or stabbed with that last sentence. A sharp pain cutting through his heart. “Good enough…for me?” He said, latching onto the words.

“Yes…she…well…all of this has built up over the last few months. She knows what they are saying and it’s made her feel this way.” Phil shook his head, his tail whipping back and forth in anger. “I couldn’t stay silent anymore Frater. She’s my friend and she deserves to know she’s got nothing to prove.”

Copia’s mismatched eyes looked down into the polished wood of his desk. The green side darkening to a near black, the white so bright Phil thought for a moment it might blind him if he looked directly at it. His jaw was clenched tightly, his lips a thin line and his breathing was heavy.

When he spoke, his voice was not the usual lighthearted and joking tone many thought of when Copia was mentioned. No, this was heavy with a barely contained anger that was going to find a target very soon. “Il mio amore…feels she has to prove her worth to me…because of some petty bastardos who think she fucked her way into her job…who dare disrespect her…my girl…my love…they think they can do this and not suffer for it…”

The fury within him was so bright hot, so sudden that he couldn’t comprehend it. Phil actually felt a little afraid as he watched the emotions play out in the other man’s face.

“I’m…sorry Frater.” The Ghoul said, not knowing what else to say. “I just…she’s my friend and she deserves better. She needs a break honestly.”

Copia turned, glancing at Phil. A break. She needed a break. 60 hours….Satanus he was useless. How was he supposed to be head of the church when he didn’t even realize the woman he loved was drowning in despair? The person that was supposed to be closest to him and he hadn’t seen it.

The Frater sighed, unclenching his fists. He would deal with this in stages but the first was you. He needed to take care of you, he needed to love you, to show you just how much he loved you. “You’re a good friend Phil.” He finally said. “To both of us. Grazie for telling me.”

Copia stood then, turning to face the window that looked out over the courtyard. It was starting to get dark. “I need you to bring me a list of those who have sown the seeds of this doubt in mi amore. They will be dealt with…soon.”

Behind his mask Phil’s eyes widened…well he knew that was probably going to happen. “Yes Frater.”

“Also, she’s going to be taking a few days off starting today. She doesn’t know this yet.” Copia bounced on the balls of his feet for a moment, his dress shoes making a clicking sound on the marble floor.

“We can manage for sure. She’s got everything so planned I think a toddler could do it.” Phil replied.

Copia nodded. Of course she did, she was brilliant. The anger flared to life again. “Si si, bene. Don’t mention anything to her if you see her. I’ll let her know.” He turned and glanced at Phil who nodded.

“Yes Frater.” The Ghoul stood. “I’ll head back to the department then unless you needed anything else.”

Copia turned and gave a slight nod to the Ghoul. “No nothing else. Again, thank you for letting me know. I expect the list as soon as you can provide it.”

Phil gave a slight bow and left the office. He almost felt bad for the names that would be on that list…then he thought better of it. Let them burn.

Copia’s brain was a strange place sometimes. Years of neurosis, fear, abandonment issues were there of course. How could they not be when you’d lived so long to only realize sheer months before she died your mom had always been there and just not told you…and your dad’s ghost never had bothered to either. Plus said father was a prick and…a ghost. Then there was the possible imminent death thing.

But with all of that Copia had learned to survive. He’d dealt with the harshness of growing up an orphan, an odd one at that he’d admit, in the ministry. Ratboy, Ratman, other names nowhere near as kind. He’d lived through it all and eventually got his payback for the treatment. Copia could be nefarious when he wanted to be, dangerous when the mood struck him.

Again…look who his parents were.

This situation was a new one. Firstly he’d not had a paramour like you before. One that was real, that mattered, that wasn’t there to advance or use his position or name. The irony wasn’t lost on him that this was literally what everyone he was going to happily destroy thought was the case. No, you had proven your heart to him many times over and that was exactly why he would, very much so, destroy those that had driven you to this level of torment.

But before that happened he needed to show you what you truly meant to him, to remind you of what you were to him. This feeling that Phil had mentioned, that you felt the need to show you were worthy of him…it both angered and confounded him. How could you think such a thing? How could you doubt your worth when you had saved him from an abyss of sorrow that had nearly drowned him? That you, only you, were able to make him laugh again, to find happiness.

Even before that fateful night when he’d finally given in to the tender feelings he’d been so afraid to dare show, to even hope you would feel as well, you had always been there. You were the friend he needed, the confidant he could trust, the one who would drag him from his blankets and make sure he ate something and would then stay up all night playing his old games with him, giving him a run for his money on who would win. No one else, not even his Ghouls had been so kind, so patient, so caring. Only you…and he had no idea why. But then you’d told him, after he had confessed his love to you, when he’d asked you why you would ever put up with him. “Because you’re you Copia. You’re the one who tells everyone how life can be filled with ups and downs but you should keep going. You care. You’re kind. You deserve to be loved Copia, you deserve to be happy. And if my dumbass can make you laugh when you’ve had a bad day then I did my job.”

Copia had managed not to cry like a complete idiot at your words…but there may have been a tear that he’d quickly wiped away. That night the video games were forgotten and he thought just maybe he made some of his ancestors proud. He was fairly certain the Ghouls in the dens under the abbey proper probably heard you both…judging from the way many of them were giving him a thumbs up the next day.

But this doubt…this doubt that had been sown in your heart against yourself…this would not stand. He would not allow this to continue. If your job was to ensure he was happy then his job was exactly the same when it came to you. His job was to make sure that any doubts about your worth, your love, were stopped. He really wanted to maim someone as he thought about it. The Emeritus violent streak definitely continued with him.

Copia was a romantic at heart but life hadn’t given him many opportunities to pursue that or act on it. There were some of his songs of course, moments on stage where he got to live out a little role playing as a gothic, satanic prince serenading a sorella from the audience. But none of those were you. Although he did know or noticed you did have a glimmer in your eye when he’d still been performing and had worn those costumes. You’d also mentioned a few times about envying the mic stand and also a fondness for the lace up jeans that had, as you described, “wrapped up his thighs like a second skin.” He turned away from the window and chuckled to himself, a plan forming.

He double checked the calendar. Copia knew St. Valentines Day was coming soon and sure enough it was only two days away. He wasn’t going to wait for Valentines Day though which would make this even more of a surprise. He picked up the phone and called up one of the Ghouls and quickly gave him some instructions and to make it snappy. Then he turned off his computer and locked up the office.

Copia headed to his apartments down the hall and after feeding his bambinos made his way to the large closet in his bedroom. He flicked on the light and sighed. Along one wall were his concert suits and costumes, all wrapped up in thin plastic to keep them safe. He missed it far more than he’d ever let on. Papa V was doing his thing of course, different style and all that…but Copia couldn’t help but think he did a better job. I mean…out of the last four he was the one who wasn’t under glass.

The ex-Papa strolled along the hanging mementos pondering for a moment which would be the thing that would make his amore the happiest. He grabbed a pair of his tattered jeans with the lace up front of course and then one of the puffy sleeved black lace shirts that would have been at home on a pirate. His eyes alighted on the perfect thing. “Ah ha…” He said and pulled it from the closet bar.

The black leather vest with the gold embroidery was one of his favorites and if he wasn’t mistaken one of yours as well. He remembered coming off stage wearing it one night near the end of the run, before you had both realized your friendship had become something far deeper. He’d asked you “Did I make their asses wobble or what??” laughing and clapping his gloved hands together and he’d noticed you hadn’t replied, just looked at him with big eyes and an even bigger grin. There was a glimmer he’d not noticed before in your gaze, something that made a warmth start in his tummy and spread out along every nerve. “Hey, hey, am I just performing for myself here?” He’d waggled his fingers in front of your face and you’d snapped out of it.

“No! Yes! No!! You…you did great! Not an ass unwobbled.” You’d replied.

Copia chuckled. Yep, this should do it. He may not be allowed to do up the paints like the old days, but no one said he couldn’t work the suits like he used to. Walking out of the closet he hoped he could still fit in these. Since he’d become Frater there wasn’t as much ass wobbling to be done but there was a lot of eating at his desk. He didn’t think he’d changed that much…and you certainly hadn’t mentioned anything. So…with a short prayer to the dark lord Copia slipped off his jacket.

The day had ended much later than you’d anticipated. You had managed to slam down a Monster to get through the last few hours but you were dragging yourself back to your office and it was nearly 7 o’clock. Phyllis, that bitch, had stopped you after your meeting to complain about changing the printers for the band shirts. Apparently she “had a relationship” with the last group who were using the shoddiest material you’d ever seen. The chat had ended with a snide comment about how you thought you had the right to overstep…even though you were actually in charge of decisions like this now and could totally make those decisions.

The lack of sleep and desire to not start drama…something she apparently didn’t have…left you to just slink away. You hated that you let her run over you like a steam roller but you just didn’t have any fight in you at this point. As you came to your desk you saw a sticky note in Phil’s handwriting in the middle of your monitor “GO THE FUCK TO BED.” Was in bold letters with a little heart and a devil face at the end. “Love you too buddy.” You muttered with a smile. The note was right…you needed to just go pass out.

You grabbed your bag, turned off the lights, and locked the door. You leaned up against the door frame for a moment and sighed, running your fingers through your hair in the hopes you wouldn’t look like you felt. For a moment you wondered how Copia was doing. You missed him having not seen him for the last few days as everyone was going 100 mph. He had enough on his plate to deal with being Frater and you didn’t want to distract him. He was having to deal with things you could never imagine all while giving up playing to a crowd he loved.

You didn’t think you’d be great company that night anyway. You didn’t even know if you had it in you to microwave something before passing out. With a sigh you pushed away from the door and headed upstairs to your apartment. Maybe you’d text him to see how he was doing. You were just getting ready to pull your phone from you pocket when you glanced up at your door. Stuck to the wood was a black envelope with your name written in silver. You recognized the handwriting. “What….?” You said aloud, pulling it off the door and opening it.

Inside was a black piece of stationary and in the same silver script were the words “Come to my rooms now. – C.”

Your eyebrows lifted in surprise. This wasn’t a request…that was written as an order. Lord, what had you done now? How had you managed to piss him off too after not even seeing him for most of the week. Maybe this was it, maybe he was done with you and you were fired and dumped in one fell swoop. Maybe you had fucked up…well…everything.

You sighed heavily, felt like crying, but held it back. You unlocked your door just enough to place your bag on the floor then closed and locked it. You then headed to the next floor where the leadership’s rooms were and found yourself at Copia’s entrance. You took a breath, hoped you weren’t crying, and knocked hesitantly.

There was no response. When your realized that you tried the door knob and it turned easily. With more than a little trepidation, you stepped inside. You glanced around in awe. The room was dark other than probably 20 or more candles lit and standing around along with the blazing fireplace. On the dining table were more candles and on the coffee table was a massive bouquet of black and red roses. The scent mixed with that of the candles, something spicy and elegant, filling the room with a heady fragrance.

Copia was nowhere to be seen but as you glanced down you saw a trail of black and red rose petals leading to his bedroom. You raised an eyebrow. Unless this was some really evil trick maybe he wasn’t mad at you? Well…it would seem the roses were leading the way so you headed that direction.

Moving the partially open door you were met with more candles, more roses, and his giant bed covered in more petals. It was absolutely beautiful…Copia had the bed made up with red satin sheets. Frilly black pillows set up near the carved head board that was dark stained wood. Images of devilish cherubs and little rats were carved in the design. The black sheer fabric that hung from the four posts of the bed were pulled back with ribbon. Near the bed on one of the night stands a bowl of strawberries sat next to a dish of thick whipping cream. On the other night stand was an ice bucket holding a bottle of what looked like champagne with two etched crystal glasses.

Okay…this…this felt like a trap or you’d actually fell asleep and were dreaming. There was still no sign of Frater Emeritus, the man who had to have put all this together.

And then you heard the door shut.

“Mi amore, you have been away from this bed for too long.” Copia’s voice was soft, nearly purring as you heard him behind you.

You turned and your eyes widened at what you saw, unable to help it. Oh…oh this was a trap. Copia stood there, hair perfectly coiffed, brushed back from his forehead with his beautiful eyes surrounded in black. His upper lip was flawlessly painted.

He was wearing…THE pants. The ones that looked like they’d been attacked by a swarm of razors or rat teeth, laced up the front. They hugged his thighs perfectly and left nothing to the imagination along with the very obvious fact that underwear was nowhere in the equation. He’d donned a flowing-sleeved black shirt that was buttoned up his throat and fell in lace at his wrists. His fingers were encased in black leather gloves and over the shirt was THE vest. Gold trimmed black leather and fitting him like he'd been born into it. Copia Emeritus could still rock the suit…and you knew you were doomed.

You knew he knew what this was doing to you by the way his green eye darkened and somehow glittered at the same time. You noticed then he was holding a single red rose in his hand, twirling it in his fingers.

“Uh…wow…Uhm…you look…great.” You managed to speak but only just. “This…this is all…nice.”

Copia’s gaze narrowed as he looked at you. Even in just the candlelight he could see you were exhausted, worn out. You were paler than normal and you were always pale. Your eyes, usually so sparkling and lively were faded, circles setting in beneath them. There was the slightest tremor to your fingers. You’d been drinking those cazzo energy drinks again. Oh there would be words…but right then he had a mission.

“You seem nervous dolcezza.” He said softly, taking another step closer. “You’ve been here before…many times…”

You swallowed, mouth going dry. Why were you suddenly wanting to bolt like a scared rabbit? Why was this making you feel like you were prey suddenly? Because he looked like panther a bit…that’s why. You hadn’t seen Copia dressed like this and with this…intensity…in a while…or ever.

“Uh…yes…but it’s not looked so…” You looked around. “Beautiful.” And you didn’t feel like you belonged here at all right then. You felt like a slug compared to this gorgeous man who was looking at you like that and all this atmosphere. You needed to crawl away. It was too much.

Copia could read you like a book and right then what he saw made him want to find the ones on Phil’s list and take them down to the lower levels of the abbey…the ones with the torture devices that no one spoke about. The time for that was later though…now was the time to fix what those fuckers had broken in his love.

“Yet not as beautiful as you amore.” He replied smoothly, stepping in front of you, the pointed toes of his shoes brushing close to your sneakers. You weren’t meeting his eyes, glancing anywhere else and that wouldn’t do either. He lifted his gloved fingers to your chin and tilted your face up to where you had to look him in the eye. “I’m here cara, not in the corner.” He ran this thumb along your jaw.

“I…I’m sorry…I’m not…I’m not good company right now Frater.” You said, feeling the weight of his gaze on you. His white eye was glowing in the candlelight and it was lovely and unnerving as always. You felt like he could see whatever he wanted inside your head with that eye.

“Frater?” He cocked a brow. His title? Really? “In this room, in this bed I’m Copia. Your Copia. Always cara mia. You know this do you not?”

He stroked your other cheek with the petals of the rose as he spoke. They were soft as velvet and smelled divine and you felt like you couldn’t do anything right. You closed your eyes and took a breath of the perfumed air. “Ye….yes I know Copia.”

“Hmm.” He hummed. Copia carefully placed the rose behind your ear. “I do not think you do amore. I think you’ve forgotten.” He replied, his fingers trailing along your cheek to rest on your shoulder.

You looked at him in surprise at his words with more than a little embarrassment. “No, no I haven’t forgotten.”

Copia raised his head slightly, looking down his nose and studying your expression while he wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you from running away…because you looked just like a deer who’d seen a car coming right at them. “Perhaps not completely cara but there’s something missing, something crushed I think that had blossomed like the roses here. And I must tend to you la mia dolce rosa so that it blooms as it should. Beautiful, sweet, and mine.”

He kissed you then, capturing your mouth with his before you realized what he was doing. His gloved fingers were at the back of your neck, twining into your hair as he held you in place, enjoying the little muffled sound of surprise in your throat.

You’d been caught up in what he’d been saying and how true it was though you didn’t want to admit it. You did feel crushed, trampled under the simple meanness of the siblings who never seemed to tire of treating you like garbage and whose job it seemed was to remind you of how you didn’t deserve Copia.

But right at that moment you were finding it hard to think on their words, their glares. The only thing you could think of was how he tasted slightly of strawberries and chocolate, how his lips were so warm and how you’d missed how he kissed you like he was savoring some sort of delicacy. His tongue swept along yours, lapping at you and your knees grew weaker. Don’t fall over…you thought to yourself, don’t fall over.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pulled you closer, one hand moving to the small of your back. You heard him make a sound somewhere between a moan and a growl as he felt your own tongue dance with his, slowly, enjoying the feeling of Copia’s kiss after having missed it.

He pulled away reluctantly but he knew you needed to breathe. Copia leaned his forehead against yours, noticing how your skin was growing warmer. He felt some pride in that.

“Mmm…that’s a start amore.” He said softly, brushing his nose against yours.

“Copia…” you said his name, breathless after his attentions. “What…what is all this?”

He brushed his lips against yours once more, pulling back a ways so he could look into your eyes again. He’d missed the way you looked at him, the tenderness, the affection that he could always see peeking out. The way your eyes grew a darker shade when he’d touched you a certain way…like now for instance…that might be his favorite. “All of this amore? This is all for you. You deserve to be cherished and I have been remiss in that duty which it is my honor to have.”

Something was up and even though he was doing a hell of a job distracting you this, it was a lot all of a sudden. Silver tongued kisses and words aside…he was up to something. You let your fingers trail down his jaw, the freckled skin smooth as could be thanks to a recent shave. “Copia you don’t have to…mmph!”

He cut you off with another kiss. He wouldn’t hear another word of what he didn’t have to do. He would not hear you say how you didn’t deserve every romantic gesture in history if he could provide it. After a moment he pulled back. “You were saying cara?”

Your eyes were still closed. He was making you light headed, which wasn’t hard with the lack of sleep. You opened your eyes and tried to glare at him. “You’re up to something.” You finally said, head fuzzy from the taste of dark chocolate, strawberries and Copia.

Copia gave a naughty smile, his eyes glittering. He let the thumb of his glove run along your bottom lip, enjoying the site of the black kiss marks that colored over the pink lushness of your mouth. “What I am up to la mia rosa spinosa is seducing you into my arms. And it would appear its working.”

You let your fingers trace his chin, stroking the dimple there. He was far too handsome and you were so slap happy from exhaustion you almost laughed. “You don’t have to work this hard to seduce me Copia.” You said with a grin, placing a kiss on his chin and letting the tip of your tongue leave a tiny lick in the indention.

Copia shuddered at the sensation, fingers flexing against your back. He wanted you naked on the rose petals immediately. That was his goal at least. He made no apologies for it. But he could still sense the doubt there. “Mmm…cara it is not work.” Copia placed a kiss on your cheek, then started a trail of them along you jaw to your neck. “It’s a pleasure and I want to spoil you…” He started nipping at your skin, suckling at your pulse, feeling it start to speed up under his lips.

“I want you to realize how much I am in love with you, si? I want you to never want to leave my side dolcezza.” He bit at the point where your neck met your shoulder, a spot he knew was one of your most sensitive. He wasn’t going to play fair at all. When he heard the gasp come from your mouth he smiled while sucking the sensitive skin between his teeth. It would be a lovely bruise in the shape of his bite. He released you a moment later, placing a kiss there on the reddened patch.

His mouth trailed back up your jaw, planting a kiss at the corner of your mouth. “I think you forgot what you mean to me amore. What you do to me. And I’m going to remind you and show you.” He purred, fingers trailing down your side to rest at your hip and pulling you closer.

You and Copia were nearly the same height, granted he was a little taller now with the dress shoes and their heels. But even with that added height his hips were flush to your own and his hardness was pressed into you perfectly, hitting your core through your jeans. He growled, the sound animalistic and rough as it rolled from his throat. “Do you feel it la mia tentazione?” He managed to say, the words a heated breath against your ear. “The desire for you…it is almost painful…the most beautiful pain I have known.”

You were only a woman. A woman in love with this man who seemed beyond just being a man at the moment as he ground his laced up length into you with hips that belonged on a dancer. Copia was overwhelming you with all of this and you felt like you had actually fallen asleep at your desk and dreamed yourself into a gothic romance straight out of Dracula. He probably had the wings somewhere in his closet truth be told…he’d probably put them on if you asked. But that would be another piece of clothing you’d have to tear off him…and you didn’t think you had any patience left.

“Copia…” you sighed his name as you felt his teeth scrape your earlobe, his fingers now slipping up under your shirt. The soft, warm leather of his touch made you tremble as it found your lace covered breast, his thumb rubbing your nipple.

“The way you say my name amore…you sound like you are praying.” Copia started walking you back towards the bed, the need to surround himself in you was becoming unbearable. “But it is I who are worshipping you tonight.”

You felt the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed. By that point you’d pressed your nose into his neck, drinking in the smell of his cologne that was always mixed with the scent of the incense used in the church’s services. It was as though it was always a part of him now, which made sense as he was Frater Imperator, leader of the Ministry. It was in his blood of course.

You lifted your face to look into his. His pupils were wide, the deep black swallowing all the forest green and nearly eclipsing the white. You reached up and tugged at the buttons of his vest, undoing them in quick succession as he watched you, gaze lowered and burning. You started on his shirt next, letting your fingers linger on the exposed skin of his neck before taking on the smaller buttons of the blouse. For a moment your gaze fell to his lips, already kiss swollen, the black nearly gone and you were sure you were now wearing it. He said nothing, just watched you with lust blown eyes.

“But I want to worship you too il mio bel diavolo.” You said softly, using that bit of Italian you’d been learning over the last many months. It had the desired effect as you watched his face tense, his jaw twitch, and his eyes somehow reflect every flame in the room.

Copia’s cock became so hard suddenly, jerking at what you said, he thought it might actually rip through the laces of his jeans to reach you. He wasn’t joking about the pain…right then he ached to the point of madness. “Lift your arms…now.” He managed to say, the words bitten out in a gruff timbre.

You actually looked a little scared as you did as he asked. His voice was intense and while you’d heard him get stern before this was something new. You liked it…but it was…intimidating. In the next instant he had your shirt removed, tossed behind him to the floor. He gazed at your black lace covered breasts and it was a look of pure hunger…you nearly covered them with your arms for a moment and you didn’t know why.

“Bene…” Copia breathed out the praise and with a slow and deliberate motion pulled one glove off with his teeth, tossing it behind him where he’d thrown your shirt. His now gloveless fingers ran down your cheek, along your throat, thumb tracing the bite he’d left there as his eyes widened a little at the sight.

“Keep going tesoro.” He said and you moved to begin undoing his shirt once more. As you did so his fingers slid down your side, slipping along your hip to rest at your back. They moved in slow circles against your skin and it was distracting but you had a mission. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Copia lift his other hand to his teeth and pull the glove away to toss it into the darkness of the room.

You’d reached the last button and his shirt fell open to reveal the dark hair that covered the expanse of his chest. Like little pieces of treasure mixed in with the darker strands were silver ones that you adored. He may not be as lean as he used to be but Copia was still fit and you could happily spend hours racking you nails over him. You pressed your nose and cheek against the patch over his heart, letting your lips touch him, kissing against the beat beneath his skin. The scent of incense was stronger here, and you fantasized it was due to the heart of the ministry being there beneath his breast.

You heard him make a noise, a sigh maybe, or a whimper. It reverberated in his chest and against your ear. You smiled at the sound and kissed your way over to his right nipple, giving it a lick which caused him to tremble beneath you. It happened again when you teased it with your teeth and you felt his fingers grip you harder where they had come to rest on your hips. More bruises you were sure, and that was fine.

You glanced at the Omen inspired tattoo. You’d heard the rumors he’d been born with this…you knew better. During a drunken night of film watching (he’d seen the original Omen as many times as you’d seen Horror of Dracula…which was a lot) he’d admitted he’d gotten it as a rabid fanboy. The mystique it had garnered after it had been noticed was just icing on the cake.

You kissed each six in the circle, giving a little lick after each kiss. Your fingers slipping up his stomach and along his sides, nails scratching and leaving red trails. “All for you Copia.” You murmured with a grin as you reached his collar bone and looked up into his half closed eyes. “It’s all for you.” Then you nipped him, teeth worrying the skin over the bone.

“Ahhh…” Copia couldn’t stop the stuttering noise that came out of his mouth. You’d bewitched him. He was the one that was supposed to be doing the seducing here, not the other way around. But…but you’d said you wanted to worship him so prettily and you…you were weaving a spell with your touch and your tongue. And now your teeth…oh Satan your teeth.

He gasped your name, pulling you from his chest to kiss you again, lips clashing together in a messy dance. You pulled at his shirt until he let go of you just long enough to nearly rip it off and toss it aside. His hands immediately went to the hooks of your bra and with a life of study in the art of removing them, he had it off you in less than a second. He made a point of remembering where he tossed that piece of clothing for later.

In the next instant he had you pushed onto the bed, rose petals raining down as you fell onto the blankets. Your now bare breasts beckoned him, beautiful and full. You looked like a gift from the dark lord and Copia vowed thanks to him for such a treasure. Your glossy eyes gazed up at him, petals falling into your hair and his next thought was that this nights worship would do the devil proud.

Copia climbed up onto the bed, making his way between your legs. He hooked a knee behind your left leg, pushing it out of the way to settle himself there. “And I will take all of you.” He promised as his mouth latched onto your left breast.

You gasped as his hand found the right, massaging, squeezing, his fingers plying your nipple with the finesse of a man who truly loved women’s breasts and had spent years on how to appreciate them. He was leaving marks on you, the way his teeth bit and the amount of suckling…the sound was pornographic as it mixed with his moans and yours. “Copia…please…” What were you asking for? You had no idea…you didn’t want him to stop but…it was so much.

He licked a trail to your other breast, lips surrounding that nipple, teeth starting to suckle again as his hand slowly trailed along your stomach, fingers kneading the soft flesh there, leading to the button of your jeans. Your tits were a playland for him. Not too big, not too small. If he wanted he could fit the whole of one of them in his mouth but he’d never do such a thing. He wanted to savor you, tease you, claim every inch of you.

He released your nipple with a wet pop, his heavy lidded eyes taking in how very, very pink he’d left you and the trail of red marks that he could follow like a map of where he’d been so far. “What is your desire cara? What do you want?” His fingers moved to start stroking you through your jeans. He pressed against you and you nearly bucked off the bed.

You couldn’t think anymore, everything was just simple need at this point. “Please…please…” You managed to say.

Copia knew what he wanted and he felt it was the same thing you were pleading for. “I will drink my fill of you mio dolce amore…then I will fill you till you sing for me.” He made quick work of your shoes and then your jeans, tearing them away along with your underwear until there was nothing between you and him.

His eyes, already devouring you with a look, stared down at the cleft of your legs. His tongue licked the corner of his lips and you knew you were going to be hoarse come morning. His fingers trailed down along your stomach once again, warm and pressing against your skin. You moved, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him to your mouth for a kiss. He happily acquiesced, tongue tracing your lips while his fingers found your wet slit, causing you to gasp against him, nearly biting his lower lip in the progress.

Copia hummed in pleasure as he stroked you, not quite slipping his finger inside your sweet cunt but making you writhe just the same. You were so wet, so warm, so pliant for him. Made for him. He sent yet another prayer of thanks to the dark lord for bringing you to him, for gifting him such an exquisite partner in crime as you.

“Copia…please…just…” you were begging at this point. This was cruel, this was heaven…this was hell. With him maybe hell was heaven. You buried your face in his neck, breath hot and panting against his skin. “Ti amo…please.” You whispered.

The words undid him. There was no more delicious waiting, he pressed two fingers into you, sliding in easily. You moaned into his ear and he pressed his lips to your pulse as he began moving them nearly all the way out then back, crooking them every so often, hitting the spot he knew would make you sing. He knew when you were close because your arms tightened around him, your breathing was quick, and when you came your voice cried out his name like a beautiful Nema at the end of a benediction.

“Yes mi bella…such a lovely song.” Copia’s voice was rough, deeper. He pulled his fingers from your heat and licked them clean. “The wine of ecstasy, our sacrament…so warm cara…so delicious…I could live off your pleasure and never hunger for anything else.”

He didn’t give you a chance to recover. His mouth was on your cunt in the next moment living up to what he’d just said. You nearly screamed as his tongue delved into you, his arms slipping under your legs and holding your hips in place while he lapped you up, his slightly pointed tongue giving him an ability that was almost supernatural. Your fingers were in his hair, destroying any semblance of order while you tried to not die of a heart attack.

“Copia, my…god…” You gasped as you felt his lips sucking on your clit suddenly, almost positive he was actually grazing it with his teeth. Then he was back to lapping at you the sounds making you blush on top of the fact your body felt like it was on fire.

Copia looked up at you from between your thighs, lips glistening in the firelight, eyes glowing, debauchery personified. “God is not here amore…I’m the one bringing you paradise tonight. Sing my praises cara…I want to hear you sing.” Then he was drinking you again, lapping up every drop of your pleasure, the taste addictive. One hand moved to your stomach, and he felt your body tensing. Yes, yes again…he wanted to feel you break while his mouth was on you.

He wanted you to scream so loudly the Ghouls would hear you again and know what he’d done to you. Let them all know what he’d done to you, especially the ones who had tried to destroy your love. The ones who dared to make you doubt you were worthy. Oh Satan let them hear your screams and know that he was yours and you were his. With that thought he latched upon your clit once more, suckling the nub of nerves till he felt the release against his tongue, heard you cry his name like a hymnal sung by one of hells angels. Now…now you were ready for him.

You felt like every limb was boneless as the second orgasm rocked through you. He was relentless and you were dizzy with it. You were trying to catch your breath when you saw him stand up just long enough to unlace his jeans and toss them aside.

To say he was ready was an understatement. His cock was gloriously standing proud, engorged, and you believed it, that he’d been in pain. You didn’t know if you were going to survive this night but you’d die happy you supposed. He was stunning in the candlelight and you felt that little bit of doubt come back to you that you’d never be able to keep such a magical being like Copia for long.

He saw it…he saw it in your eyes that had been so beautifully filled with lust and love and pleasure. Glossy with it, glowing with it. He saw the doubt sneak in. No. No this was not allowed and he would be doubly damned if he would let it ruin this for you and for him.

Copia quickly moved back into the bed, pulling you into his arms, settling himself against you, and then grasping your chin in his fingers. “I see you amore. I see you pulling away. You are here with me this night and for all the others that follow.” He kissed you, warm and soft then moving to keep your eyes locked to his. “You do not get to hide from me. You do not doubt yourself cara mia, you are mine because you are magic. Ti amo. I am the lucky one. And any who tell you different will know my wrath. I protect what is mine, and that amore, is you.”

You felt a tear fall from the corner of your eye then, not even realizing you were crying. How did he know? How could he tell? Maybe he did have supernatural powers. He brushed the tear away with his thumb, kissing you again so softly in comparison to what you had been doing just before.

That one tear was all they would get Copia thought to himself. No more. No more stolen pain. He kissed you again, vowing silently to himself that would be the last pain they would cause you. “Now cara, I’m going to ruin you wonderfully for any other man before I die from how hard you’ve made me…”

You couldn’t help it, you laughed. Because it was not only true but after such sweet words to go right to the uncouth truth of his raging hard on was so Copia. He gave you a smile, his nearly fang like incisors catching some of the candlelight, joy in his heart that he’d made you laugh and forget your tears.

You reached up and pulled him down for another kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue and not minding. “You’ve already ruined me for anyone else Copia.” You muttered against his lips.

He pressed the tip of his cock against you, pulling away to look down into your eyes. “Mmm…I know amore, but it’s so much fun to do.” He said softly, his expression a mix of heady lust and pure affection. “Your petals are lovely as all the roses here amore…now I shall pluck them.” He raised a dark brow at his own pun and before you could comment on it he slid into you to the hilt making you gasp as he stretched you out completely for him.

Your nails latched onto his shoulders as he buried his face in your neck, drinking in the scent of your perfume and the roses that surrounded you both. Copia gave you a moment to get used to him again and then he pulled his hips back, nearly parting from you completely before slamming back in. He couldn’t make himself be gentle, he had built himself into a frenzy and now…now he just needed to fuck himself into you until nothing else remained.

Sweet Satan you were so tight, so hot around him. He barely could hold on. How many days since he’d taken you, buried himself in your warmth? Too many…never again. He wouldn’t allow this to happen again.

He refused to let himself reach a release before you, no…even if he’d brought you to breaking twice already he would take you to a third exquisite peak and fall with you. Fall down as far as Lucifer if you asked him to. He didn’t care as long as he was joined to you in bliss.

He was nearly bruising you and you knew you’d be sore tomorrow but it was so sweet. He was muttering something, his face buried in your neck, were those…prayers? It was Italian and muffled but you couldn’t tell and your brain was short circuiting with how deep he was within you, in and out, the slick sounds making it even more obscene…and you wanted all of it. Every thrust hitting that spot that only Copia seemed to be able to reach, to make you sing as he called it. And tonight he’d turned you into an Opera star.

“Amore…fall with me…please bella I…I can’t…I can’t hold on any longer…fall with me my love.” He begged you, the lovely sounds of your gasps and sighs were clawing him over the edge. Your song leading him to oblivion.

He knew then what to do, the thing that would push you over with him. He sank his teeth into your neck and you screamed as you came, your nails embedded in his back as you each drew blood and ecstasy from the other. Copia felt himself fill you as waves of pleasure raced through his body. He sucked your skin between his teeth as he felt you tremble from your own orgasm, your breath hot and fast against his shoulder, his name over and over again on your lips.

When it had abated, Copia laid there on top of you, barely able to move. He’d released your neck of course. The first thing he did when he could think clearly was lift his head to see the damage he’d done to your throat. Cazzo…he had drawn blood. “Oh cara…mi dispacia…I…got carried away.” He licked the little drop of blood that had formed there, placing a soft kiss against the bruise.

You moaned something in response. You weren’t sure what you were trying to say. Your brain was mush. Copia was a heavy weight on top of you and you could feel his now softening cock inside you, filling you still. You didn’t want to move even if there was a now cooling sticky mess between the two of you. It wouldn’t be the first.

“What was that tesoro?” Copia asked, lifting himself up on his arms. He looked down at you and saw how your eyes were still closed, your hair was a mess of petals and locks and your lips were reddened from kisses. You were a goddess. He did not want to move but he knew it couldn’t be too comfortable for you.

“I said…s’okay.” You managed to mumble. “Next time wear the bat wings.”

Copia raised a brow at that. Hmmm…an idea for another night starting to form in his head. He lifted his fingers to brush some stray hair from your forehead. “Did I hurt you amore? I…could not be as gentle as I wished…”

You shook your head no, still not able to think too clearly. You managed to open your eyes and found him mussy haired and gazing down at you, an expression equally filled with worry and love. You reached up and touched his jaw, tracing along his chin to the dimple there. He moved and kissed your fingertips.

Copia rolled over bringing you with him, laying on his side, raising another storm of the remaining petals. He pulled the blanket around the two of you like a flower filled burrito. His legs were still entwined with yours. He knew he needed to tend to you as he was always honored to do, but he couldn’t bring himself to let you go just yet. He was happy, content…but he also needed to make sure you knew you were going to rest for the next few days. He had plans.

You gazed up at him, surrounded by satin and roses and a satanic pope that had stolen your heart. You noticed a few red blooms were now nestled in his chest hair and so you set to clearing them away. “You know…” you said as he stroked your back with his fingers. “I’ve been well and truly plucked.” You glanced up at him with a grin. “But I get the feeling you are still thorny.”

Copia chuckled, brushing his nose against yours. “Always for you la mia dolce rosa.” He kissed your cheek. You picked that moment to yawn, much to your chagrin. And then remembered you had to set up a meeting with one of the promoters for LA in the morning. With a sigh your head fell back against the bed. “Ugh…”

“Cara what is it?” He asked, looking surprised. What had he missed? What happened?

“I have to finish some work…I completely forgot.” You were getting ready to sit up and start the no doubt fruitless hunt for your clothes but Copia tightened his hold on you immediately. “Copia I need to…”

“No.” He said, voice going into full Frater mode. “No, you are not going to go back to work.”

You looked up at him in shock. “I have to, it’s my job and it’s important. Too much is riding on…”

He cut you off again. Copia took a deep breath. “Cara, you are taking the next few days off. If that needs to be an order then so be it.”

“I can’t just…” You tried to explain without getting into everything. You didn’t want him to know the reasons you had to do this.

Copia shook his head, sitting up and pulling you up with him. He grasped your chin, glancing down to see you were holding the blanket around yourself almost like a shield. That hurt a bit, but he would let it slide. “Listen to me cara. I know what’s been going on. I know of the words, the slights, the eyes that have been following you. I know what’s been said and why you feel you need to work yourself ill to convince insects that you are worthy.”

You felt the tears again…the damned things pooling in the corners of your eyes. How did he even know this? You’d been so careful, you thought. “Copia I just want to earn the spot. I’m not…not part of the church, I know that makes me an outsider to people but I love you. I want to be enough, to help you succeed.” Your voice cracked a little but you managed to be steady when you said it.

Cazzo bastardi, she was crying. He’d sworn the final tear had been shed, but here more pain from their words, their actions. Oh…they would pay. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace as if he could shield you from what had already been done. “Dolce you are enough for me, for everyone that matters. You’ve more than earned the spot and you’ve already improved so many things. Cazzo, even Phil knows it and he’s the most pain in the ass Ghoul I know.” He tried to get you to laugh and he felt a smile and heard a weak little chuckle from where your face pressed into his shoulder.

“Listen to me tesoro.” He lifted your gaze back up, still holding you close. “I will take care of this problem. You will be respected as you have earned the respect of all. Aside from this, you are my love. No one is allowed to cause you pain. Not while I breathe. What they have done goes against the tenants of this church. I am Frater Imperator…it is MY job to ensure our rules are followed, si? And I will do my job as well as you’ve done yours.” He kissed your forehead. “And you will take a break so you can keep doing your job well. And that means you rest, you relax, and for Valentines Day I get to wine and dine you…with other…activities…comprende?”

You chewed on your lip, nerves raging at this entire scenario.

He bopped your nose, bringing you eyes back front and center. “Comprende?” he asked again.

You sighed. “Understood…I…thank you Copia.” You said, throwing your arms around him and hugging him tight.

Copia closed his eyes and held you tightly in return. You were a stubborn creature but you were his and he would fight every demon in hell for you if he needed to. A handful of siblings were nothing. A grumbling noise caught his attention and he pulled back enough to glance down. You were hiding your face. “My love, was that…your stomach?”

You squeezed your eyes shut hoping to turn into something the size of a mite. “Maybe…” You mumbled against his shoulder.

He sighed. “Dare I ask you when you last ate?” You didn’t respond. “You don’t remember do you?” Still no response. A string of Italian poured forth, most of it asking the dark lord for patience, some that would have made a sailor blush. “I will keep you well piccolo idiota, even if you don’t think to keep yourself so.”

You looked up at him. “Did you call me an idiot?”

“Si, I did. At least your Italian is improving even if your self care is not.” He replied with a haughty glare. You narrowed your eyes at him and it was adorable even though you looked like you might kill him. That was part of the appeal actually. He quickly kissed your nose. “Here viper.” He reached over and grabbed the bowl of strawberries. “Eat some of these and I’ll order some dinner from the kitchen.”

You bit into one of the strawberries even though you were still pouting while Copia grabbed his cell phone off the stand and called down. He spoke quickly and in Italian so you didn’t know what all he was saying, though you did catch something about rigatoni. Hopefully he wasn’t trying to feed you his rat. While he was talking one of the berries fairly erupted with juice and you managed to catch it on your fingers but mostly your chin. Before you could react he reached over and caught it on his thumb, brining it to his lips and sucking it away with a fiery glance at you. Seriously…always thorny.

You went to grab the bottle of champagne and he clicked off the phone and grabbed it from your hand. “Not yet tesoro. You need real food in your belly before you drink the devils nectar.”

“Seriously…you are denying me booze?” You asked him with a pout.

“Food first, then bubbly.” He put the bottle on the nightstand. “Now I take care of you before dinner…and no more pouting.”

Copia took all the care of you, cleaning you up before smacking your behind and making you take a shower with him in what you’d started calling Satan’s Hot Springs. When you got out Copia had had one of your pajama sets delivered, the Star Wars one that had Darth Vader stating he was your daddy. You knew he’d made them pick this one on purpose. You ate your fill of pasta and bread and finally got your glass of champagne.

By then it was close to midnight and you were barely functioning. A full belly, the effects of the alcohol and having been up for nearly 3 days and being ravished into oblivion caught up to you. You barely made it back to the freshly made bed. “When…they do this?” You managed to mumble as you settled down.

“Ghouls are quick and sneaky cara, never forget that.” Copia replied. He was weary as well, but he planned on having you sleep here tonight and every night he could.

Decked out in the Dawn of the Dead pj’s you got him for Yule the previous year he looked adorable and the minute he laid down beside you, you had curled up against him and nestled up close. “Mmph…body pillow.” You muttered, barely able to keep your eyes open.

Copia smiled, kissing the top of your head. “Si, Frater Pillow, that’s me…hehe.” He snuggled in and clapped his hands, the lights going off.

You sighed. “Really…need to get you…an Alexa.”

“Shh…you’ll hurt mio amico Clapper’s feelings. Go to sleep.” He replied.

You slept…a long time. At some point Copia had left but you were in a near coma, not even noticing or missing the fact that your normal alarm wasn’t going off. When you did wake up it was to your shock and surprise 3 in the afternoon. You sat up in shock, completely disoriented and needing to pee like a race horse. After taking care of that business you came back into Copia’s bedroom to find a letter on the nightstand. It was written on his personal rat and heart stationary.

“My baby, Rest, relax, EAT. I’ll see you tonight. EAT. <3 C.”

Well, that was clear enough. You headed back to your own rooms and changed into some comfy, not PJ clothing and headed out to do…well…nothing. You hit a book store, grabbed a couple books and a coffee that was three times normal price. You ate a very late lunch of a giant cheeseburger and fries that would have made the devil weep they were so good. You weren’t used to this sort of ease anymore and it made you a little weirded out. You kept looking at your phone and there were no messages from anyone. No fires to put out. The only message you got was one from your satanic boy toy that read “I need proof you are eating” You sent him back a picture of the cheeseburger and fries. His response was the single word “ENVY.”

You got back to the abbey at around 7pm and went to Copia’s rooms after changing into your Incredible Hulk pj’s, deciding whoever saw you could deal with your love of the big green. You knocked on the door and he immediately opened it and pulled you into his arms, peppering your face with kisses.

“You already look happier my baby.” He said. “How do you feel?”

“It was weird to relax and not get calls…but…it was nice.” You replied liking the way he filled out his faded Stryper shirt. The story behind it and how he got it and why he wore it was hilarious. It paired well with his black sweat pants.

“Bene, it is good for you. And that cheeseburger!” He made a chefs kiss gesture. “You’ll have to take me there, I must have one.” He gestured to his couch. “Now, I must sadly murder you as only Sub Zero can.”

“Ah, it’s a Mortal Kombat night?” You asked raising a brow.

“Si, it’s always a Mortal Kombat night somewhere.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you along.

“Kitana is going to wipe the floor with you, you know.” You told him, grabbing a controller and noticing the ice bucket from last night now filled with various juice boxes. “Confidence is important amore.” He raised a brow while taking a sip from his own juice box and draining it.

You managed to not laugh but only just…that stance wasn’t nearly as intimidating as he thought.

The two of you played for a couple of hours. Enjoying each others company was a phrase but the curse words and faux insults that were thrown back and forth would make someone wonder exactly if that was the right description.

In the end it was a tie and Copia admitted that Kitana was an equal to his favorite ninja. He planted a kiss on your cheek. “Come la mia principessa della lame, let us rest our warrior bodies for another day.”

You nodded, feeling sleepy even though you’d already slept so long. Your body was apparently not agreeing with the assessment. You got into bed and told Copia to turn around.

“I…I get to be little spoon?” He asked excitedly.

“Si…” you replied, kissing his neck. You curled around him and pressed your nose into his hair. You felt him relax almost immediately, fingers sliding into your own and hold your hand to his heart. It’s steady beat lulled you into slumber.

The next day was Valentines Day, and you woke up again with Copia having left you with a breakfast tray on the nightstand. It was 10am so you weren’t nearly as unconscious as before. You sat up and dug into the blueberry muffin, warm coffee and fruit bowl. He was earning all the points, and you were hoping he liked his gift you would give him later that evening.

You headed back to your apartment on the lower floor and showered. You had almost a full day till he would be free to as he said, “wine and dine.” So you grabbed your book that you’d purchased and settled onto the couch to read. You fought the instinct to check in with Phil. If he needed you, you know he’d call.

It was noon when your phone went off with a text message alert. You grabbed it quickly and saw it was from Copia. “Important matter, please come to my office.” It read. Your eyes widened. What was this about? Was it some sort of Valentines Day rendezvous? His office wouldn’t really be an appropriate place for that. You’d always told him you wanted to keep the offices as work and business only, it just seemed right. Though he’d tried a couple of times of course…because he was Copia. But if it was some sort of naughty time idea, he wouldn’t have been so…dry in the message.

You were overthinking. Just go to his office. You changed out of your t-shirt into a dark red button down and grabbed your black cardigan to give some appearance of propriety in case this was that sort of situation. Checking your hair and giving a quick make up touch up you headed to the Frater’s office.

You knocked on the closed door and Copia’s voice called out “Please, come in.” You took a breath and opened the door. Immediately you saw them. Along the wall were five chairs, the basic ones from the dining hall. And sitting in them were Phyllis and the rest of your tormentors. Your eyes widened in surprise as Phyllis’s gaze burned into you. The other four, three sisters and one of the brothers, wouldn’t even look up. They looked pale, terrified in a couple of cases.

“Ah, Sorella, please sit.” Copia gestured to the free chair near his desk, the comfortable one. His voice was all business.

You swallowed thickly and took a seat. “Frater, hello…uhm…what can I do for you?” You asked, making sure to use his title in front of these siblings.

Copia stood, his suit immaculate down to the rhinestone collar. He looked dangerous as you watched him move gracefully from behind his desk to stand next to it and you. His gloves had what appeared to be black claws on them. You’d not seen those before.

“I believe you know these siblings, si?” He gestured to the five sitting opposite you. “Sister Phyllis especially.”

You nodded. “Uhm, yes, we…we’ve worked together on some projects.” What was he doing…

“Si, si.” Copia could hear the nerves in your voice. He wouldn’t let you be affected by these insects anymore. “It has come to my attention sorella that these individuals have been defying the core mandates, the beliefs of our church in regards to you.” He stepped away from the desk to stand just in front of you and facing the five now even paler faced siblings, shielding you from them. Phyllis looked ready to rip his eyes out and he only prayed she’d try.

Copia turned to you. “For that sorella you have my deepest apologies. The Ministry is a place of acceptance, respect, we do not ridicule anyone. We do not harm anyone lest they harm us. Even if you have not joined us as a follower in our dark lord, you are still a sister to us. You help us, you serve the ministry as a valued member of our family. For that you deserve the respect of all.”

Here he turned back to the five siblings. You didn’t see his eyes change, the green turning into a near black and the white flare like a star, a haze almost surrounding it. “To break those commandments, those core beliefs set by our dark lord is to defy him. To defy the ministry. To defy me.” Copia’s voice was like ice, sharp, piercing.

You shivered for a moment, thankful that this wasn’t directed at you. What were you witnessing?

“For these transgressions you will hereby be removed from the ministry.” He spoke with finality, gloved hands clasped in front of him and his gaze heavy as it fell on the siblings. You heard a couple of them gasp, one started crying. Phyllis glared, her eyes finding you and if looks could kill you’d be dead.

Copia noticed and stepped to the side to block you from her view. She would not be allowed to even look at you anymore. He turned slightly to speak to you. “I wanted you to know that you will not need to worry about these five again. The ministry protects its own and we will not allow such acts to take place here.”

You nodded, still in shock. You hadn’t expected this…especially this quickly. “Thank…thank you.” You managed to say.

He gave you a slight bow and offered you his hand. “Thank you for your patience and grace while dealing with such behavior sorella. Allow me to walk you out.”

You stood and before you took another step Copia turned to the siblings. “I’ll be back in a moment, stay there.” His voice changed again to that icy tone. He walked you to the door, opening it and gesturing you outside, he closed it behind you while you stood in the hallway.

“Copia…what…what is this?” You gestured towards his office, voice more than a little frantic.

His gloved hand touched your now flushed cheek, the little black claws tickling your skin. “I promised you that you wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore. I wanted you to see that it was taken care of amore. They deserved to see you and know you are protected.”

He ran one of the claws down your jaw, tapping you on chin. He smiled and it was just a touch sinister. “I’m Frater tesoro. I told you I protect the commandments of our dark lord and the ministry and that’s what I’m doing. This is the core of our belief. We accept everyone, no judgements unless you do harm to others. If you harm those protected by our church, by me…you will have to deal with the consequences, si? You won’t have to see them again my baby. Never again.”

The look on his face was one you’d not really seen. His eyes were steely but burning as they looked in your own. His jaw tight and determined. You could only nod in response. “I understand. I just…it was a surprise.”

Copia smiled, seeing the nerves start to leave you. He glanced around, checking to see if you were alone and quickly leaned down and kissed you gently. Pulling back he wiped away the black lip print with his thumb. “It’s Valentines Day dolcezza, you’ve got a couple more surprises later. But for now, go enjoy the day and I’ll join you tonight. Wine and dine, remember?”

You smiled and he felt it in his damned soul. “Wine and dine…cheeseburgers?” You asked.

“Temptress.” Copia replied. “Now shoo, relax.” He turned around and before you could think better of it you slapped his behind. He turned back to you with a shocked face, to see you backing away quickly. “Oh…payback cara…so much payback.” He growled.

“Promise?” You asked grinning.

“Threat.” He replied with a snapping of his teeth at you. He watched you walk away and took a deep breath. Yes, you were happy, you were well. You were protected and loved. He was doing his job.

Copia opened the door to his office where the now slightly shaking siblings sat. He turned, back facing them as he closed the door.

“So…do we get to leave now? Do we even get to pack our things?” Phyllis’s shrill voiced asked, bravado in the words.

Copia’s head raised, cocking to the side. The sound of metal clinging shut echoed as five pairs of metal cuffs were closed around the hands of the siblings, seemingly from nowhere. They gasped, finding they couldn’t move from the chairs.

“I told you sister; you were to be removed.” Copia turned then and from the shadows of the room four Ghouls appeared, one of them Phil, his tail twitching happily. “I never said you were leaving.” Copia continued.

As the siblings watched in horror each of the Ghouls pulled a large, red jeweled knife from a sheath on their hip. Phil handed Copia his own and the Frater looked at it, letting the light bounce off it’s blade for a moment, the red reflecting in his white eye. He turned to the siblings and smiled and for a moment, the room grew darker. Copia’s shadow almost looked like it had horns as it stretched out on the wall.

“You do know it’s Valentines Day, don’t you?” He said, stepping towards Phyllis who now had tears streaming down her face. His voice echoed in the office which felt so cold suddenly. “It’s a day you give away your heart.”

[babyjinsu]

[r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard] you don't give a fuck about me, but i still do.

PAIRING ⟢ seunghan hong x fem!reader

GENRE ⟢ reddit au, oneshots, written, angst

CW ⟢ the use of "bitch" and "slut", he sounds like he's going to murder you icl, kind of dark? seunghan doesn't know if he hates reader or he still loves her so it's lowkey everywhere n messed up, implied cheating

SYNOPSIS ⟢ a heartbroken ex boyfriend expresses his deep hatred and his love for his ex girlfriend on r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard.

💭 seunghan is crazy here...

[r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard] you don't give a fuck about me, but i still do. posted by u/hanseung • 19h ago

i'm such a fucking idiot. i don't even know why i'm writing this knowing you won't read, and even if you do, you couldn't be bothered to give a single shit. nothing about me has ever mattered to you because you're just a selfish little bitch.

i don't know why it took me so fucking long to notice and realise (or maybe i always fucking have but i'm just too delusional) why you were always looking at him and how your stupid eyes never settled or lingered on me the way mine did on you. i wanted to believe what we had was real so maybe that's why i was constantly ignoring the warning signs. i really shouldn't have.

i still think at one point you loved me, but not in the same way i loved you.

i loved you so so much... and the worst part? i still fucking do yn. i would've done so much for you and us if you could just love me fully-heartedly. or at least fucking pretend to?? we were 'together' for 2 fucking years for fuck's sake, you could've just continued that act and we can all be happy instead of being a fucking slut.

this whole time i was just a placeholder while you waited for him to be available. your heart belonged to someone else this whole time. and out of everyone, it just had to be my fucking brother? seriously yn? you couldn't choose other people besides my own brother?

i don't think you know what that does to a person. but knowing you, i know you do but you're just a snobby little spoiled bitch who only thinks of herself. i bet you fucking wish the i love yous that i whispered were from my brother. the nights we spent together too? did you picture his face when you look at me because we look similar? how many times did you almost moan out his name instead of mine?

i want to hate you sooooo fucking much yn. i don't deserve this kind of love from anyone, much more from a cheating bitch like you. you're such a horrible person, and i hope karma bites your ass back. i hope nothing in your life goes right and it destroys you, and you'll realise that it is all thanks to me. i'm praying for your fucking downfall yn. you will never be loved the way i loved you.

since i've said too much anyway, i just want to let you know that i look for you in other girls. sometimes i don't do it on purpose, sometimes it's a pattern. i look for pieces of you and let myself believe that this time i can make it work. and when it hurts them, i want you to know it's all your fucking fault yn. you made me the person i am today. it's all your fault. you will live and carry the pain of these girls that i've emotionally hurt.

you never had to grieve me because you were never mine in the first place. but i was yours. my whole being was yours. i practically fucking devoted my life to you. i rejected snu to enroll yonsei with you AND my brother. the fuck yn... did you use witchcraft on me?

i was just some guy you were with to get closer with my brother, and congratulations on accomplishing that mission. hope you know that when you guys are married, we'll still be seeing each other for christmas, new years, holidays, and celebrations to come. you'll never fully get rid of me yn.

you don't give a fuck about me but i still do. and i bet that boosts your ego you bitch.

💭 well... ◡̈