#<-(yes i know they had one in the org. now shut)

[dreamsy990]

happy new years guys!!

[natalievoncatte]

31. Spookycorp

(Yes I know it’s late. I have a permit. I can do what I want.)

Lena adjusted her cheap plastic tiara, which she’d had chosen herself at a Spirit Halloween. Though she would never admit it, Lena felt giddy when she went shopping now. She used to just send Jess or use a high end shopping service; Lena Luthor had neither the time nor the patience to fumble with checkout lines and coupons, but post-L-Corp Lena, private citizen Lena, head of a charity org and retired from corporate sharkery Lena delighted in it. In a sweater and leggings with her hair in a simple ponytail and glasses not contacts, she felt human. Normal.

Her costume was simple, the tiara and a goofy floofy mini dress she’d picked up at a thrift store, and a wand to top it all off. Kara recognized her immediately.

“Let me guess, a good witch?”

Lena stood in the door and beamed, nudging her glasses. She was still getting used to them every day but her therapist had insisted she stick with the changes she made.

(The penthouse was going on the market and she was selling her Louboutins. Most of her Louboutins. She was finally telling that little voice in her head that sounded like Lillian to SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER whenever it admonished her about not being perfect enough)

Kara was dressed in an all-green ensemble with a pointed hat resting on her head and a cheesy plastic bow on her back.

“Robin Hood?”

“Of Locksley,” Kara bowed.

(If I’d know, I’d have dressed as Maid Marian.)

She beckoned Lena to enter in an expensive gesture and watched her step inside, her gaze lingering in a way that made Lena tingle all over, goose flesh rising on her arms. She hopped up onto a stool and smiled when Kara handed her a beer.

“They make pumpkin spice beer now?”

“Mmmm,” Kara said, nursing her own. Lena’s eyes widened when Kara tipped a flask into it; a sticker on the side read Not For Humans.

“Just a little to loosen me up,” said Kara. “It’s a party.”

Kara sat down on the other side of the table and just… looked at her. She looked at Lena with her chin resting on her fist and a soft distant look on her face, and Lena stared back just as intently, entranced by the way her sunny curls escaped her sloppy ponytail and framed her face.

The spell, as it were, was broken by a knock at the door. The snacks were coming, an absurdly huge order that Lena had placed while she was on her way. As the bewildered delivery boy accepted her excessive tip, Kara carried the bags into the apartment, and together they began laying it all out on the kitchen island.

Brainy and Nia were the first to arrive. They wore matching silver body suits and Nia had put on a gloss of green makeup: Querl simply disabled his image inducer.

“We’re aliens!” Nia chirped. “Lena I love your outfit! Wait is Kara Robin Hood? Lena, why aren’t you Maid Marian?”

Lena froze, suddenly aware of Kara’s tense presence beside her. She didn’t dare turn her head and gauge Kara’s reaction.

“Did you purchase every potsticker in National City?” Brainy asked, almost pointedly snapping the tension.

Kara laughed. “I think Lena just wants to keep me from eating everything else.”

Alex and Kelly also showed up in marching costumes, making the moment even more awkward. They were married, of course, so they were supposed to coordinate.

Alex strutted into the apartment, grinning, and threw back the cowl of her Batman costume, as Kelly rolled her eyes behind the mask of her Catwoman outfit.

“That’s cute,” said Kara. “Did you guys like flip a coin to decide who was who?”

Alex poked the gray fabric over her stomach. “You know what, Kara? Sometimes I want people to know I have abs too. And unlike some people I have to work for mine.”

Kara poked out her tongue and shoved a beer in her hand as Kelly pulled Lena into a hug.

After a toast to James, and J’onn, and Winn, and absent friends, Kara started the first movie of their marathon. Each couple had selected one film, and Alex’s selection went first: a really weird movie called The Keep.

“This was originally three hours long before the studio butchered it, but it’s still a classic,” Alex explained. “It’s Michael Mann’s only horror movie.”

Lena found it largely incomprehensible and not very scary, and there were some scenes, especially the nonsensical sex scene, that made the experience a tad awkward.

“If I was in an ancient castle in Carpathia and the crosses in the wall started glowing, I would not mess with them.” said Kara.

“Yes you would,” Alex snorted. “Your approach to danger is to shove you arm in it.”

Kara drained her beer and rolled her eyes. Lena glanced over at her and giggled, nursing the last of hers.

“Want another one?”

Lena nodded, and Kara got up to get them more drinks. Lena lost interest in the movie as she watched Kara cross the apartment and bend low to grab two more bottles from the bottom shelf of the fridge, bending at the hips. The bottom of her tunic pulled up over her muscular backside and the buns of steel strained her green leggings.

(She would annihilate me with a strap)

When Kara stood up, Lena snapped her gaze around and found everyone staring at her, Nia suppressing a giggle. They all looked endlessly amused, except Brainy, who had a self-satisfied smirk, as if he’d beaten her at chess.

Kara sat down and passed the cold beer to Lena, saying, “these movies would be scarier if they didn’t all have a bad guy I could just toss into space.”

She looked at Lena and raised her arm to curl her bicep.

Lena felt her soul almost leave her body and took a drink from her beer to hide the shivers.

The movie ended and Nia jumped up to put on her selection, which she proudly announced to the group. “ARMY OF DARKNESSSSS!” she shouted, clapping her hands.

Lena hasn’t seen this before and even though there was a ten minute prologue explaining what the hell it was about, Lena finally just decided to stop caring about the plot and just go along for the ride.

Kara had apparently seen it and she and Nia went back and forth quoting the dialogue back and forth at each other and gobbling snacks. Alex and Kelly seemed more interested in each other and had gone fairly quiet.

Lena was more interested in Kara. Her joy was infectious, especially after a third beer.

It was getting cool in the apartment by the time they were ready for the final movie, and Lena’s outfit was hardly warm. Kara felt her shiver and got up, coming back with a stack of blankets, which the others accepted.

Kara then took her cape and spread it over Lena. The fabric was stout and heavy and lay warmly about her as she tucked it under her chin.

“Uh oh,” said Alex. “Lena gets the Superblankie.”

“Oh, shut up,” Kara said.

“Lena always gets the Superblankie,” Nia agreed.

“Guys!” Kara said, sounding a little panicked.

“Start the movie already,” Kelly yawned, breaking the tension.

Kara put on the final movie, her choice: Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

No one remarked that for movie choosing purposes, Lena and Kara had been expected to act as a couple. Kara sat down on the sofa with Lena and pulled the cape around them both, tucking them tightly together and sharing her blessed, glorious body heat. Kara ran about three or four degrees hotter than a baseline human and it made her a living space heater. Lena adored it.

She adored a lot of things about Kara, like her laugh and her smile and that funny little scar, the only imperfection on her invulnerable body. She adored the way her blue eyes glittered like sapphires in the dark apartment, and the soft pillow of her bottom lip and her big strong hands and the way she was always laying a protective arm across Lena’s shoulders, making her feel so safe and…

Lena turned her attention to the movie. It was a comfort choice of hers and she knew it by heart, so it was easy to relax into Kara and not worry too hard about how much she was utterly, irrevocably, cruelly in love with her unattainable best friend.

The apartment was quiet. Lena was fairly sure that Alex was asleep and Kelly was mellow, too entranced with her new wife to care about anything else, and the way that Brainy and Nia were tucked under their blanket and whispering to each other made Lena hot with jealousy.

Kara’s chest hitched and Lena turned to her sharply.

“What is it, darling?” she murmured.

“Nothing,” Kara lied, then whispered. “This is so sad.”

She took Lena’s hand and Lena almost died on the spot, and it got worse when Kara nuzzled her chin into the crook of Lena’s shoulder.

Out of nowhere, half an hour later, Kara murmured, “if I lost you I think I’d become a monster too.”

Lena flinched, then turned to her. Kara was looking at her with big puppy dog eyes and that crooked little smile of hers, at once an honest smile and a smile for the keeping of secrets.

Everyone else was asleep, and would probably stay that way until morning.

“Kara,” Lena whispered.

Kara took it as an invitation, gently shifting so that Lena was now in her lap, and tucked Lena under her chin. She wrapped her arms around her and just breathed, chest gently rising and falling against her.

“I want you to know how sorry I am for all the things I’ve done,” Kara whispered into the top of her head. “I’ve never told you, I was gone before I could and after I got back I was scared.”

“Kara,” Lena murmured back, “darling, it’s alright.”

“I was so scared when I was there,” Kara said, not daring to name the Phantom Zone. “That place messes with time. I was terrified that if I ever got back you’d all be gone. You would be gone. I was so afraid it hurt.”

Lena went still, just listening.

“I’m so sorry, baby. You deserve better than me.”

“No I don’t,” Lena insisted, almost too loud. “No I don’t. There is no one better. God, Kara,” she softened her voice, “I think I fell a little in love with you the day we even met. I never used to believe in love at first sight or soulmates but… I am a witch after all.”

Kara let out a slow sigh. “Lena, are you saying…”

“Even when I was trying to tell you I hated you, I was telling you how much I love you. It’s you, Kara. It’s always been you.”

“I love you so much,” Kara said whispered, “I’ll love you forever.”

“Kara, everyone else is asleep,” she forced out, her jaw trembling from excitement. “Take me to the bedroom. Please.”

Kara said nothing but stood up in a single motion, lifting Lena with ease and curling her up in the cape. Lena didn’t think her feet ever touched the ground as they slipped into the bedroom and Kara laid her down on the bed, quickly and quietly closing the door before lunging into the bed, pressing Lena into the mattress with a barrage of hot, aggressively desperate kisses.

They were both quiet, Kara pausing only briefly to implore Lena with her eyes and wait for a murmured yes. There was something thrilling about the quiet, they way they swallowed their gasps and passed their moans softly through one another’s lips, and Lena would never forget the way Kara delighted in her, virtually worshipping her.

Lena returned the favor with with enthusiasm.

By morning, Lena was exhausted in every sense of the term and was curled up in a tangle of blankets and a snoozing Kryptonian.

There was a knock at the door.

“Well lock up on our way out,” Alex called. “By the way, you guys forgot about the whole keeping quiet thing about halfway through. Thanks for etching Lena yelling “daddy” into my brain.”

Kara snorted.

“Alex, I love you, but get out.”

[talesofesther]

what once was mine | ch 8

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: When watching what once was supposed to be the rest of his life, in an empty room in the TVA, Loki sees someone he can't recognize; a girl who's all tenderness and loose smiles, and most importantly, she was smiling at him.

A/N: Yes, this is long overdue and I'm sorry for the long wait; but now it's finally here and I hope you can enjoy it, we're nearing the end :'). If it's been too long since you've read the other chapters, I'd maybe recommend checking them out again because we're picking it up right where we left off. The next chapters will be posted soon <3. Also, Mobius plays cupid here and we love him for it lol.

Masterlist | Read ch 7 here

You kept your head down as you walked, not particularly looking at where you were going. Rogue tears were falling onto TVA's hallways with each step you took, a hand covered your mouth to stifle the sobs. The sight of your rapidly moving shoes became more unfocused by the second.

You needed an out, you needed to breathe. And you didn't care that the bathroom you rushed into was a communal one, you slammed the door shut behind you and turned the lock, praying that the stalls were empty.

Silence hung in the air, the only sound being your heavy breathing. Gulping back a massive lump in your throat, you leaned back against the closed door. The smooth wood was cold, feeling going past the fabric of your shirt and raising goosebumps on your skin. With the back of your hand, you tried drying your tears.

Would this be it? Were you truly broken beyond repair?

You wanted to shout apologies in the air; for the Loki you'd just found, he deserved it, he did nothing wrong; for yourself, for the bruised heart beating in your chest that you'd promised to mend.

Part of you also wanted to berate yourself for being overly sentimental and utterly incapable of processing your feelings. For being stuck in this limbo.

You pressed your palms to your eyes, feeling them dampening, fingers shaking.

His touch had been like a bonfire on a cold night—a strange metaphor, given the fact his skin was usually colder than yours; yet it held truth—it enveloped your heart in a warm and familiar embrace, the most blissful kind of pain. It hurt, you couldn't quite place why, but it did.

Maybe it was the fear of knowing you wouldn't be able to live through another loss.

There were telltales of a steady rhythm thudding beneath your skin and through your veins; the ghosts of it tickled your fingertips and called out your name. His heartbeat, as real as you'd pleaded for in countless sleepless nights.

And when you finally held it in your hands again…

'But you're not him.'

You regretted it, probably as soon as the words left your mouth. Because… they were a lie. A lie you told yourself for fear of losing him, again.

Yet now, you couldn't help but feel like you just did.

─── ·❆· ───

Thor had once told Loki about the red string of fate—when the god of thunder had been strangely obsessed with Midgardian folklore in his teenage years. A red string that connected soulmates, it could stretch and bend as the two souls drifted apart and then met again, however, it would never break.

Now, as Loki heard your steps getting further and further away from him, he couldn't help but hear a snap.

Maybe he was the one who fucked it up, maybe it was his fault. You weren't his to have or to lose anyway. As much as he wished you were.

Loki stood awkwardly by your desk; he felt almost as if he was invading just because this was your space and, as you'd just made abundantly clear, you wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

He took advantage of your secluded nook to brush off the tear tracks on his cheeks—he didn't need anyone asking questions he barely knew the answers to—before running a hand through his hair, straightening the collar of his jacket, and taking a deep, hopefully steadying, breath.

For the first time, he felt utterly lost, without a north to guide him. He stalled by neatly organizing the mess that was your desk, thinking maybe you'd have a change of heart and come back to him. He stacked documents, organized pencils, and even folded a cardigan of yours that was hanging on the back of your chair.

Loki stalled the longest he could, until there was nothing more to tidy and no hope left. When you didn't come back, he walked up to the elevator, and now stared at the many buttons without knowing which to press. Truth be told, his mind was miles away; focused on the feeling of your soft skin against his and the sweet perfume of your shampoo. Would he ever get to feel you so close again?

"Hold it, please," Mobius called from a few steps away, hurriedly walking towards Loki. The god extended a hand to hold the doors open for him.

Mobius skipped into the elevator with a big sigh, clutching a rather large stack of documents to his chest. "Thanks," he breathed, shooting a glance at Loki. A beat passed and he did a double take, with a frown as he looked Loki over, who still glared at the buttons in front of him, all puffy eyes and pouty lips. "… What happened?" Mobius' voice held the tone of someone who probably already knew the answer he'd get. He reached past Loki and pressed the button that led to the cafeteria—a coffee break couldn't hurt.

For long seconds, Loki kept silent, contemplating whether to lie or be honest. He felt too drained to come up with a lie. "I… believe I messed it up."

Mobius didn't need names. He raised a hand to pat Loki's shoulder. "She'll come around, buddy."

Loki's eyebrows softened, he had a faint, bittersweet smile on his lips as his eyes welled up with tears again. It stung, bitterly. Perhaps he was never destined for happy endings. It was okay, he decided, he'd be okay with loving you from afar; so long as he got to love you at all. He already counted his lucky stars that the slim odds were in his favor and he got to meet you. "I don't think she will."

The weight of his words didn't go unnoticed by Mobius, who turned to Loki with a rather bewildered expression. "You really do like her… Don't you?"

Loki lowered his head, lips parting in a futile attempt to try and word his feelings. All he managed was a defeated sigh as he brought a hand up to rub one of his eyes. That was answer enough.

─── ·❆· ───

It's been a week. Or at least what would be the equivalent of a week in the TVA. You didn't know if you were the one avoiding Loki or if he was the one avoiding you. But you haven't seen each other ever since you said those hurtful words to him.

Your spoon clicked against the ceramic of your mug, stirring a coffee that had probably already gone cold. You stared off into space, watching from a secluded corner table as a few of your colleagues walked by with their own coffees, yet not actually seeing it. Your mind was elsewhere, drifting between what-ifs.

It's been like this, for this past week. Your mind mostly numb, stuck on auto-pilot. You couldn't stop thinking about him, couldn't stop missing him; his presence had become such a constant in your life these past couple of months that now that you didn't have it, a part of you felt hollow and empty. There was always a vacant chair beside you that left you feeling perpetually cold and alone.

The last few nights had been more sleepless than not, guilt ate away at your insides and kept you from diving into deep slumber. You wondered if the few grimaced smiles you received from your colleagues today were because you'd forgotten to hide the faint dark circles under your eyes.

"Good morning sunshine," Mobius slid into the chair next to you, placing his steaming mug on the table along with a single donut on a small plate. He took a momentary glance at you and his smile dropped a tad, "or maybe not so good."

You tried giving your friend a decent smile but you could tell by the look on his face that it didn't reach your eyes.

"I'll probably regret asking," Mobius pulled his chair closer, taking a sip of his coffee before continuing, "but what's wrong?"

You've never liked it when people asked you that question, it made you wish that your problems really were simple enough to be put into words. You avoided his eyes, something akin to shame and timidness twisting your stomach. "I'm- I'm not sure," a frown came to your brows, as if you were finally seeing past the fog. You shook your head softly, "I think I messed up."

"So I keep hearing," Mobius sighed. It wasn't condescending, no; it just looked like he was in on a secret you didn't know.

"I'm just… I'm so scared, Mobius." There was a sway to your voice that wasn't there before, with your heart on your mouth beating as raw as the wound you'd carried for so long. "I'm-" You hesitated, words heavy as you closed your eyes briefly. "I'm scared, and I'm still so confused."

You could feel the familiar sting of tears building behind your eyes. "I've wanted him back for so long, and seeing him again like this, it just-" Your lips hovered, trembling. You felt a warm touch landing on one of your hands, reassuring. You squeezed Mobius' fingers in gratitude. "… Now I have memories with him that only I've lived, and part of me still doesn't know what to think, what to do. And if I ever were to lose him again, I- I don't think I could…"

With a gentle nod, Mobius took hold of both your hands, he spoke slowly, "I understand… Well, maybe I don't," he chuckled, and when a small and genuine smile crept onto your lips, a proud glint came to his eyes. "But don't you think that, sometimes, we complicate things too much?" He asked, voice tender and drowning out the increasing hustle and bustle of TVA's cafeteria.

"You got him back." Mobius gave your hands a gentle shake to accentuate his words, voice low yet dripping with hope and excitement; "Yeah, maybe he comes from a little before you two met, but it's still the same Loki." He tilted his head with a tight smile, urging you to take his words to heart. "The one thing you wanted ever since you got here, don't you see how lucky you are? Maybe you should just let yourself be happy about that for a change."

For long seconds that felt like hours, you stayed silent, only feeling the bruising beating of your heart against your ribs. The air left your lungs and you had trouble pulling it back in.

He was right, wasn't he?

Maybe you could allow yourself to be happy after all this time. Maybe you could finally go to where your heart had been trying to lead you to. Maybe you really did get a second chance.

Yet, like freefalling into a frozen lake, the last words you'd said to him came rushing back. "I hurt him, Mobius." You winced at the memory, at the desolate look that had painted Loki's eyes as soon as you uttered the words.

'But you're not him.'

Oh, you couldn't have been more wrong then. Because when he looks at you with that same shine to his gentle eyes that had captivated you since the first time you'd met him on the grounds of New Asgard, when his voice takes on that special tone that's kept for you only, when he touches you with the same delicacy you'd always known, when he has the same bashful smile, laughs at the same jokes, drinks the same tea. How could he not be your Loki?

"It was the last thing I wanted, and it happened, and now I- I don't know if there's a way back from-"

"Listen to me," Mobius cut you off before you could go downhill into a pity party, "he's miserable, okay?" He spoke matter-of-factly, to which you only raised your eyebrows. "I'm serious, you should've seen him this morning, looked like a kicked puppy. Trust me when I tell you you're hurting him more by staying away." He added with a smirk; "and you two are killing me with all this 'will they, won't they'."

A small laugh escaped you as you raised a hand to dry your eyes and squeezed Mobius' ones with the other in a gesture that you hoped conveyed the immense gratitude you felt for him.

You missed Loki. You missed him so much it felt like a part of your soul had been torn out.

"Do you have any idea of where he is right now?"

─── ·❆· ───

You stepped into the smoked glass doorway as if you were walking a tightrope that might snap at any second. You held your breath as you went through, eyes closed, and hands clammy.

A familiarity lay heavy in the cold and fresh air, it has brought you peace many times before. The frozen grass crunched beneath your feet and the rustling of leaves did little to drown out the loud beating of your heart. You didn't need to open your eyes to know where you were, but you did anyway.

The clearing was the same as it's always been, with a few trees on both of the far sides, a clean and starry night sky that adorned the beginnings of the spectacle that was the northern lights, and finally, the lonely wooden bench in the middle.

Loki sat on the far right side of the bench you once shared. The night was cold and he only wore a simple dress shirt, for a second you wondered if he was not cold, before remembering his origins.

The moment feelt intimate, precious. You wondered if he knew you were there and chose to stay silent, or if he was too lost in his own what-ifs. You wondered if he's missed you as much as you missed him.

Your feet were glued to the ground, you noticed. Hands closed tightly into fists and mouth dry. A part of you remained so afraid still, as if, now that you're here, it might be too late.

From afar, you admired how Loki's hair flowed effortlessly with the breeze, coming loose from behind his ears and making you wish to run your fingers through it. He had his left hand lying beside him, fingertips touching the wood of the bench; as if reaching for something, someone, who's not there.

You caught it then, how, with the corner of his eye, he finally noticed your presence. You caught it by how his shoulders immediately tensed up and he looked straight ahead as if bracing for something.

No turning back now. You took the first step towards him.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Ch 9 coming soon.

I no longer make taglists. You can follow @talesofesther-library and turn notifications on to know when I've posted a new story/chapter.

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

You do not have permission to repost, copy, or translate my works on any platforms (even with credit), please respect.

[elfwreck]

Is ao3 going to be ok? Like in the long run? I just found it 3 years ago and I don’t want to lose it (or the contact it protects if I’m going to be honest)

Yes, AO3 will be okay.

AO3 was built to last.

AO3 has been through much, MUCH worse election drama than this year. So much worse.

(And that really doesn't cover the full scope of the screaming.)

Short summary, possibly with flaws: In 2015, the first contested election since 2011 (because people tended to leave before their terms were up), 6 people ran for 2 spots. The election itself had substantially more drama than this one. (Maybe not more posts/tweets about it, but more diverse, focused on multiple topics.)

After the election, due to Bizarre Internal Conflicts, the six existing board members all resigned at once, leaving the two total newbies stuck running the whole org. (There was a brief training/intro period overlap.) The two new members were stuck appointing the rest of the board and sorting out what you do when you went from "8 people, should be 9, run this place" to "2 people run this place."

Most people who use the archive never noticed. There was no noticeable blip in availability, support team, tag wrangling, or OTW project plans. Because what the board does, isn't crucial to the day-to-day management of the org.

-----

AO3 was built by people who had been through fandom_wank community on Livejournal, who had seen fandom_wank on JournalFen (after it got kicked off LJ), who saw corporate fanfic archives show up, get active, and then get shut down when they found a buyer for the software. Who'd seen Strikethrough and Boldthrough. Who'd seen individual-pairing fanfic archives vanish literally overnight because the two head mods got in a fight and one of them deleted the database and locked the other one out of the website.

AO3 wasn't just built on fandom squee and "we love fanfic so we will build an archive for everyone" but on "we have been through endless fanwank, arguments, hostile corporate takeovers of fan resources, accusations of immorality and outright crimes -- and we are gonna build an archive that not only can survive that, but assumes it's constantly going on in the background and sometimes it'll be foreground."

The OTW is a nonprofit so none of its projects can be sold to a venture-capitalist corporation no matter how much money it gets offered. If Microsoft wanted to buy AO3 and offered two billion dollars for it... THE OTW CAN'T SELL IT. Legally. Cannot. There are laws about how nonprofits work, and they don't allow that.

The OTW has a board and committees so that no one person has All The Power to take the AO3 ball and go home. The election process is clunky so that a swarm of evangelicals (which is what we were worried about at the time) or antis (which is what we're dealing with now) can't swoop in and take it over.

AO3 is doing just fine. The election is working as expected: One of the candidates is a very bad fit for the board, and people have noticed, and a whole lot of people are not voting for her.

Even if her supporters outnumber them (even if her amazingly quiet supporters outnumber the detractors)... she'd be one voice among 7 on the board. One vote out of 7. On the Board, which doesn't actually manage the make-AO3-work stuff.

I don't think she's an anti. I don't think she wants to censor anything. I think she wants clearer policies in a couple of places, and better public relations in others. I think her approach is flawed, and that she doesn't know how to explain herself clearly, and those are both reasons she shouldn't be on the board. But it wouldn't be a disaster if she were.

Because AO3 is built for resilience more than agility. It does not make changes quickly, but its "hold still and wait out the drama" abilities are matched by none.

[tyongxnct]

𝐹𝐼𝐺𝑈𝑅𝐸𝑆 - 𝑊𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝐻𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑦

pairing: Hendery x reader

special guest: Lucas, mention of Jaehyun

summary: Hendery tried so hard to win your heart, but you weren’t sure about giving him a chance. He was a fuckboy after all and everyone told you he’d break your heart. You gave him a chance, you thought he had changed, but little did you know. Little did you know that he was going to break your heart. 

song: figures - Jessie Reyez

genre: established-relationship!au fuckboy!au college!au , angst, smut

warnings: smut, toxic relationship, cheating, swearing, alcohol consumption, manipulation?, self-doubt

word count: 5.3k

A/N: yooo my first hendery fic I hope you enjoy!!! 💖💖💖

taglist: @aesthetichrj @bvbyxuxi @bitchenderyy​ @chitaphrrrr​

this is fiction!

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Figures I gave you ride or die and you gave me games Love figures I know I'm cryin' 'cause you just won't change

Love figures I gave it all and you gave me shit Love figures I wish I could do exactly what you did

The power couple on campus.

That’s how everyone called you and Hendery. You were the power couple, the couple everyone loved and everyone was jealous of.

Before you agreed to go on a date with Hendery, your friends had warned you about him.

“He’s a fuckboy, Y/n.”

“Don’t fall for him, you’ll get hurt.”

“I heard he dated three girls at once and none of them knew about the other.”

But Hendery had his eyes on you for a while now, and he did everything to get your attention. He’d buy you an iced caramel latte every morning before you had to go to class, he’d give you snacks in between classes, he’d text you good night and good morning every day. He was just the sweetest guy ever and it didn’t take long for you to give it a try.

You went on your first date and you fell hard for him. Hendery was so kind and lovely, the perfect gentleman. He was like that until you got together, but the first couple months you dated, he still acted like a perfect boyfriend.

Even your friends fell for his sweet acting.

“Guess we were wrong Y/n.”

“I’m glad you gave him a chance, look how happy he makes you.”

“You’re such a power couple, you look so good together.”

You were blinded.

You were blinded by your love for him and by everyone on campus talking about your perfect relationship, everyone was telling you how lucky you were to have him. But things changed. He changed. Hendery was cold, distant and most of the time annoyed. Whatever you did annoyed him. Simple things like asking him about his day, telling him you missed him made him snap at you.

When Hendery snapped at you, you apologized right away and cursed yourself, you felt like it was your fault that he was distant.

Stupid Y/n, he’s right. You should shut up and leave him alone.

When Hendery stopped texting you good morning and good night, you still did.

You (09:27): good morning babeeee, I saw you in my dreams and now I miss you. Can you come over today?

Babyyyy (20:20): Baby I’m out with the guys tonight.

You were worried all day. He didn’t answer your text or your calls. You stopped calling, you didn’t want to annoy him. After finally receiving a text, you got ready for bed.

You (20:21): okay baby, be safe. I love you.

When Hendery left you hanging, over and over again.

You (19:30): Hey baby, I thought we were going to meet up at 7? Are you okay? Did something happen?

You waited another half an hour and he didn’t show up. You called him about three times and you tried to call his friend, Lucas. “Hello?” he yelled into the phone, the music in the background was too loud. “Hey Lucas. This is Y/n. I’m sorry to bother you but is Hendery with you? He isn’t answering my calls and I’m a little worried.”

“Oh, hi, uhm- give me a second yeah?”

“Sure.”

You could hear many voices, female, and male.

“One night, I just want one fucking night for myself.” You heard Hendery say, “Why the fuck are you calling Lucas?! Do you want to embarrass me?”

Hendery snapped at you.

“Sorry, I was just worried. I thought tonight is date night-“

“I told you I can’t today.” He said annoyed.

“Oh, did you? I don’t remember that you-“

“Are you calling me a liar now?” he said angrily.

“No of course not. Oh yeah, here is your text. I’m sorry I forgot it.”

There was no text.

“See, I told you.”

“Sorry. Uhm, have fun and I lo-“

He hung up.

You cried yourself to sleep that night. You didn’t know what to do anymore. The boy who was head over heels for you, changed so much and was constantly hurting you. What happened to the Hendery who promised to never hurt you?

You woke up in the middle of the night to a loud bang on your door.

You looked through the spy and saw Hendery and Lucas, who was trying to hold him up. You opened the door and Hendery stumbled in, you still caught him with your hands and Lucas helped you.

“Hey Y/n. I’m sorry to wake you up at this hour- uhm, I didn’t know where else to bring him.”

“It’s okay. Thank you for taking care of him.”

Lucas smiled softly and helped you carry Hendery to your bedroom.

“Do you need any help or?”

“No thank you, you can go now.”

He nodded and left you alone with a drunk Hendery.

“Hendery? I’ll make you some coffee okay? Do you want to take a shower?”

“Hm?? Shower sounds good.” He giggled.

You let a little bit water in your bathtub and in the meantime you made his coffee. When you entered the bathroom after placing the coffee in your room, he was trying to take off his clothes.

“Babeeee, helppppp.” He whined.

You smiled softly, he was kinda cute-

Wait.

What’s that?

He was half naked in front of you for the first time actually, but the purple marks on his neck and collarbones distracted you.

You weren’t the one who gave him those hickeys.

“I know I’m hot.” He giggled and started unbuttoning his pants. You turned around as he pulled his pants and briefs down. “D-Do you need help?”

You could hear him sit down in the bathtub.

“Mhmm.” He mumbled.

Who gave you hickeys Hendery?

You softly washed his hair and his body, you tried to look anywhere but down.

Did you cheat on me Hendery?

Is she better than me?

Prettier?

Skinnier?

You were in deep thoughts and Hendery noticed, so he pulled you in and you yelped at the sudden pull and water hitting your skin.

“Shower with me baby.” He giggled again.

“Hendery I’m still in my clothes.”

You got up and your pajama sticked to your body and you weren’t wearing a bra. Hendery looked at your body with a shimmer in his eyes. You helped him get up and wrap the towel around him.

“Go and wait in my room and drink your coffee okay?”

“Yes sir!” he giggled, eyes glued to your breasts. You closed the door and took off your clothes. You looked at the mirror, did he cheat on you?

You were scared, so scared to lose him. You were in love with him after all, you loved him more than anything.

You also wrapped a towel around your body and left the bathroom to get you clothes. When you entered your room, Hendery was still wrapped in the towel. He starred at you. “Did you drink your coffee?” you asked him, he pouted and shook his head.

You sighed.

“When I’m back, I want to see you drink your coffee okay?”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to change. I’m completely wet.”

Hendery smirked, “You’re wet?”

“Did you forget what you just did?” you opened your drawer and grabbed your underwear and pajamas.

When you turned around, you bumped into Hendery’s chest. “What are you doing?” He didn’t answer, he just cupped your cheeks and kissed you.

Yeah, you made out and he touched you, over your clothes, he gave you hickeys and you gave him hickeys here and there, but you were never completely naked in front of each other. His hands were on your waist now, he grabbed you softly and pressed himself against you. You kissed him back and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer.

You didn’t give him those hickeys.

But maybe, you could give him new ones to remind him that you are his girlfriend.

Maybe he was sexually frustrated and needed you.

Maybe he needs you right and now as much as you need him.

You weren’t a virgin anymore, but it was different with Hendery. You wanted to take your time with him, you trusted him but you after all the rumors about him being a fuckboy, you were a little scared.

But right now, you were scared to lose him to another girl.

Hendery pressed you against your bed now, his lips leaving yours to leave kisses on your skin. His hand slowly made his way inside of your towel. He stroked your bare thighs and his lips were right above your breasts, they were still covered in the towel.

You could feel his length against your leg and it turned you on. You needed him.

“H-Hendery please.”

“You want this baby? Tell me you want this.”

“I-I want this- I need this please.” You whimpered as he kissed your breasts over the towel.

“Let’s get rid of this shall we?”

You were completely naked under him now. You tried to close your legs, but he was in between them and stopped you from doing so. You hid your boobs under your arms.

“I want to see you baby. Please let me see.” He said softly.

You slowly showed him your boobs, nipples hard from the cold and arousal.

“So perfect.” He whispered as he licked your nipple. He cupped the other one and squeezed it slightly. You heart was beating so fast, and it felt so good, you closed your eyes and let him do whatever he wanted to your body.

“H-Hendery,”

“Yes baby? Tell me what you want.”

“Mark me- p-please mark me.” You moaned.

Hendery smirked against your boobs. He left a couple kisses on your breasts and then he sucked marks on your skin. On your collarbones, your neck, your breasts. While sucking on your skin, his hand travelled between your legs. He slowly put his finger on your clit and circled it. You got even wetter and you wanted more.

“More- Please.” You moaned.

Hendery put two fingers inside of you and started pumping. You could hear how wet you are, how much he turned you on. Your body was on fire and you could feel your orgasm coming. His tongue was back on your nipple, softly licking and sucking.

“F-Fuck Hendery!” you came and you came hard. You had the best orgasm ever, and he didn’t even put his dick inside of you.

“Look how hard you made me baby.” He rubbed his dick against you and licked his fingers.

“Please fuck me, please.” You begged.

“Baby let me get a condom okay? Gonna fuck you so good.”

Hendery looked in his wallet for a condom, he was always carrying a condom with him.

He ripped the condom open and wrapped it around his hard dick. You were too shy to look at his dick, you looked at the ceiling and waited for him. When he was back on top of you, he kissed your lips.

“Give me your hand.” He said and you did.

He helped you wrap your hand around his dick. He guided you to pump him a little before he placed his cock at your entrance. Hendery slowly pushed in and when he was fully inside of you, you felt so full and good. “Fuck baby, you’re so tight.”

He started fucking you harder and deeper and you almost saw the stars.

“Feels good baby?”

“Feels so good, H-Hendery, I feel so full.” You moaned out as he grabbed your wrists to press them against the bed.

You closed your eyes, too overwhelmed with the feeling of him fucking you.

“Open your eyes and watch how I fuck you.” He said.

You did as he said and when you wanted to close your eyes again, too shy to look at him, with his one hand, he held your wrists and with the other he wrapped his hand around your neck. “I said look at me.” He almost growled as he started chocking you.

This was your first time getting chocked and it felt good, better than you imagined.

“I’m gonna cum-“ you moaned.

“Yeah? Gonna cum on my cock baby? Be a good girl and come on my cock.”

One hand was chocking you and the other one was on your clit. You clenched around his cock as you came for the second time that night. Your orgasm hit you harder this time and you wrapped your hands around his arm.

“T-Too much, Hendery”

“Baby I’m almost there. I know you can take it.”

As he kept fucking into you, you could feel your third orgasm nearing and when you came again, you clenched and that was it for him. Hendery exploded and came into the condom. He pulled out and threw the condom away. You couldn’t move, you were too exhausted.

That night, you fell asleep in his arms under your warm blankets. You hoped that this night would change him. Maybe he could see how much you cared about him and how much he hurt you in the last weeks. How you cried every night, how you waited for him, only to be ditched.

But he didn’t change.

When you woke up, he was gone.

I wish I could hurt you back Love, what would you do if you couldn't get me back? You're the one who's gonna lose Something so special, something so real Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel? If you couldn't get me back That's what I wish that I could do To you, you To you, you

You decided to go to a party tonight. When you told your friends that you wanted to hang out with them and drink, they were so happy. It’s been a couple weeks since you had spent time with them. Hendery didn’t like your friends. They had tried to stop you from dating Hendery, they told you bad things about him and even though they were right, he hated them for trying to stop you from loving him. He tried to stop you from meeting them as much as he could, he was scared that they would tell you about his secret reputation. He was still the same old fuckboy, but he didn’t want to lose you, so you had to stay at home and wait for him. But your friends sadly didn’t know about the shit he was doing. And even though you weren’t really close to Lucas, he knew and felt bad for you. He liked you, he was happy that his friend found someone as nice and kind as you, but Hendery was still his friend and it wasn’t his relationship, he promised Hendery not to tell you anything.

Now you were dressed sexily, on your way to a frat party your friend was invited to. She was seeing this frat boy, Jaehyun, and she really hoped to get closer to him tonight.

You texted Hendery that you were out with your friends, he called you an hour later but you didn’t want to answer. He never answered you calls and this time you wanted to know how it feels to ignore someone. He texted you, telling you to call him, to tell him where you were.

Maybe he was worried?

You called him back, you couldn’t ignore him any longer, you weren’t like that, you didn’t want him to worry. You couldn’t ignore him like he ignored you.

“Fucking finally.”

“Sorry it was too lo-“

“Where the fuck are you? Didn’t I tell you to stop talking to those girls!”

“Hendery we-“

“I don’t fucking care. Go home.”

You had enough, “No.” and then you hung up and turned off your phone.

“Hey everything alright?” your friend asked you.

You nodded with a small smile, “Let’s have fun!”

Not even an hour later, you were drunk. The last time you were this drunk, was before you dated Hendery. It felt good, you stopped caring, just like he always did, and enjoyed your time with your friends.

Everything seemed blurry after a while, your head was spinning and you decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up a little. You told your friends that you had to pee and then you went upstairs. You weren’t sure which door was the right one.

You opened the first door and saw a couple making out.

You opened the second door and it was empty.

You opened the third door and when you saw another couple, you almost left the room, but after realizing it was Hendery with a girl, you stopped moving. They were facing each other and it seemed like they were about to kiss.

“Bitch, we’re kinda busy here?” she said annoyed that you interrupted them. When Hendery turned around and saw you standing there, he looked at you with a shocked expression.

“B-Baby? What are you doing here?” he stepped back from her and walked to you.

“Don’t! Don’t come closer to me!” you stepped back.

“Hendery? Who’s that girl?” she asked him.

“She’s my girlfriend, I told you about her.” he hoped that the girl he was about to fuck would help him.

“Right. Hi, nice to meet you. Don’t worry, Hendery just gave me some boyfriend advice, you know, since he’s your boyfriend and he’s a little experienced. I’ll leave you two alone. Thank you again Hendery.” She smiled at you, but there was something telling you, that she lied. That they lied.

Hendery pulled you closer by your wrist and closed the door after she left.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re here?”

“Who was that girl, Hendery?” you ignored his question, “What did you do with her?”

Hendery laughed awkwardly, “I did nothing with her. We just talked.”

“Is she the girl you’re cheating on me with?” your sounded so broken. You pulled your arm out of his grip. “What? I’m not cheating on you!” he yelled, his heart was beating so fast against his chest.

“Don’t l-lie. Please don’t lie to me.” You were about to cry. The alcohol you consumed slowly left your system.

“You’re here accusing me of cheating although you’re the one dressed like this at a fucking frat party. What the fuck are you doing here huh?!” he changed the topic, he was mad and scared. He had to blame you, he needed you to forget about the whole cheating thing.

“W-What? I’m here with my friends, I told you that. I would never lie to you. I would never hurt you! I would never cheat on you but you-“

“Okay, I trust you, so why can’t you trust me huh?!”

“I saw the hickeys! I-I saw you with this girl not even five minutes ago. I-I don’t know what to think anymore!” you started crying, you were feeling so overwhelmed with the situation, you didn’t know what to believe.

Figures I'm the bad guy 'cause I can't learn to trust Love figures

“Why can’t you just fucking trust me?!” Hendery yelled at you, “I thought you loved me! You can’t even trust your own boyfriend!”

Hearing those words leave his mouth hurt you so much.

“N-No I love you! I’m sorry-“ you sobbed.

“I-I don’t know If I believe you. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.” He said and looked at the floor. You hugged him tightly, too scared to lose him. “N-No! I trust you and I love you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Hendery. I love you so much, please don’t leave me.”

His plan worked.

He felt disgusting, but he couldn’t lose you.

You say sorry once and you think it's enough I got a lineup of girls and a lineup of guys Beggin' for me just to give 'em a try Figures I'm willin' to stay 'Cause I'm sick for your love

You really thought you were going to lose him and you really thought that he’d change and everything would be great, but nothing changed.

Your mind was playing games with you. You still didn’t trust Hendery, but you would shut up until you see him do something he shouldn’t. Every second of your day, you were scared to go out or call him. Scared to hear a female voice. Scared to see him cheating.

You acted like the perfect girlfriend. Always doing whatever he wanted you to, always having sex with him, whenever he wanted. Always shutting up when he told you to. You were slowly and painfully breaking apart.

It was your one-year anniversary and you planned something for him. You wanted to surprise him with his favorite cake and two tickets to Tokyo. He had told you when you were still getting to know each other, that it was his dream to go to Tokyo.

It was ten in the morning when you stopped in front of his frat house. Everyone was sleeping of course, it was a Sunday after all. This week it was his frat house having a party, last week it was another frat house.

You softly knocked on the door, a guy you had never seen before opened the door and he looked like he was awake the whole night.

“And you are?”

“Oh yeah sorry. I’m here for-“

“I don’t care. Come in.”

You entered and went upstairs. You were only two times here, but that was at the beginning of your relationship.

It was still early, Hendery was probably still asleep, but you wanted to spend the whole day with him.

That guy followed you up and when he saw your hand on Hendery’s door, he tried to stop you. “Hey! What are you doing?”

“I’m going to my boyfriend?” you said unsure.

“But this is Hendery’s room?” he was confused.

“Yeah I know. I’m his girlfriend?” Now you were confused too.

“What? Wait. I just remembered that he left earlier this morning. Come back later.”

And when you turned to him, you heard Hendery’s voice.

You pushed his hand away and opened the door, you had no idea why he was lying to you until you saw the reason with your own eyes.

Hendery completely naked with a girl, also naked, in his bed.

“What the fuck dude? Can’t you knock?!” Hendery shouted, but when he saw you standing there, he couldn’t move.

“I-I tried to stop here dude. I’m sorry.”

You looked at the guy and then back at Hendery. You dropped the cake and the letter with the tickets and turned around to leave as fast as you could. On your way down, you saw Lucas who immediately understood what just happened upstairs.

“Y/n. I’m so sorry-“

“Don’t. Don’t act like you care.” You said coldly before you left.

Hendery got dressed and ran after you, ignoring that random girl in his bed.

“Y/n! Wait!” he saw you walking faster, but your vision was too blurry to see anything.

“Don’t go, just listen to me please!” He ran faster and caught you with his hand. “Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me or I’ll scream!” you were trying to push him away. “Please calm down, baby. Listen to me, please Y/n.” he begged.

“Fuck you.”

“I’m sorry. Please, I-I’m so sorry. I was so drunk I can’t remember anything I-“

“Shut up! Stop lying to me! You’re always lying, you’re always making me feel like it’s my fault, like I’m the one cheating and lying around! But it’s you! You’re fucking with my head so just go!”

You looked for a taxi, a bus, for anything just to get away from him, running was no option, he’d catch you.

“I love you, I’m sorry. Please just, calm down and listen-“

“I should’ve listened to them. Everyone told me that you were going to break my heart. Everyone told me you’re a fuckboy, that you don’t know what love is. I never needed you, there were so many people who wanted to go on dates with me. Nice and kind people who would never hurt me like you did, but I chose you. I decided to trust you and give you a chance. I’m so fucking stupid.” You were crying harder every passing second.

“D-Don’t say that baby. You love me, you need me as much as I need you. It was a stupid mistake. I only love you!” Hendery’s hands were trembling, he had never felt this way. The fear of losing someone was something he never wanted to feel, but he deserved it. He deserved to feel pain and you deserved someone better. But he would never let go of you. He loves you.

“Y-You accused me of c-cheating, but you were the one c-cheating! I felt like a crazy girlfriend, I was so paranoid! But I was right the whole time!”

“I’m sorry, please forgive me.” He whispered, tears rolling down his cheek.

After crying, yelling, and talking for an hour, you decided you needed to go home and be alone to clear your mind. You were still madly in love with Hendery, even though he broke your heart to thousands of pieces.

You didn’t see him for almost a week, but he was spamming you with texts and calling you every hour. He was determined to get you back, no matter what it costs. You didn’t tell anyone about what happened, you were too ashamed. How could you face your friends after they warned you every time?

You didn’t go to your classes, all you did was cry and cry.

Hendery held the tickets in his hands tightly. He was so mad that he destroyed everything. And when he read the letter in which you thanked him for loving you, thanked him for everything and told him how much you love him and the happy one-year anniversary written beautifully in your handwriting, broke his heart once again.

How could he hurt you? How could he do that to you?

What Hendery didn’t except to see is you knocking on his door two weeks after you caught him cheating. His face lit up with hope, but his heart arched as he saw how broken you looked.

“H-Hi. Do you want to come in?” he asked nervously.

You looked behind him, the memory of the girl in his bed was still haunting you.

“No, uhm, can we go outside?”

He nodded softly.

You were going to regret this decision, but you didn’t care at that moment.

After walking around for about ten minutes, you stopped and looked at him. Hendery looked back at you and you saw that he also cried.

“I’m still in love with you.” You said.

“I’m also still in l-love with you. I love you.” Hendery whispered.

“I know I shouldn’t, I know this is dumb, but-“

“B-But?” he wanted to hold you, he wanted to kiss you.

“I want to give you a second chance.”

It was the first time you saw Hendery this happy. He wasn’t even this happy when you went on your first date or when he asked you to be his girlfriend and you said yes.

“I- thank you, I won’t hurt you ever again, I promise you. I love you so so much. Thank you thank you thank you.” He pulled you in for hug, but it was still hard for you to hug him back.

Wish I could hurt you back Love, what would you do if you couldn't get me back? You're the one who's gonna lose Something so special, something so real Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel? If you couldn't get me back That's what I wish that I could do To you, you To you, you

This time, you were the cold one in the relationship. You rarely answered him back, met him just once or twice a week even though you weren’t doing anything special. You were being so distant and Hendery noticed, it hurt. It hurt him so much, he was so scared to lose you again.

He didn’t know what to do.

Hendery (17:10): Hey baby. Our frat is having a party tonight, do you want to come? Or we can go to the movies. I miss you and I love you.

You reread his text over and over again.

You weren’t going to lie, you missed him too, but you wanted to hurt him, just a little bit. You wanted to show him how you felt. How he treated you.

You (17:35): let’s go to the frat party

It was almost ten pm when you entered the party in a cute dress, you weren’t going to dress like Hendery wanted you anymore. Your body, your decision.

Hendery opened the door for you and leaned in to kiss you, but you turned your face and he kissed your cheek.

Another stab in Hendery’s heart.

“You look really pretty.” He got jealous, but he knew that acting jealous right now was wrong.

“Thanks.”

And after a couple hours, you were drunk and enjoying yourself. You danced and had so much fun, Hendery was bored and wanted to be the only one to watch you dance. He wanted to bring you upstairs and kiss you until he ran out of breath.

“I’m going to pee.” You told him.

“Do you want me to-“

“No I can go on my own.” You giggled. You were really drunk.

After doing your business in the bathroom upstairs, you bumped into Lucas. “Oh sorry- hi y/n.” he said. You looked at him. He knew, Lucas knew what Hendery did and he never told you. Lucas hurt you too and he knew it.

“Look, I’m really sorry about what happened and I know I should’ve told you but-“ before he could finish his sentence, you pressed your lips on his. It was just for two seconds. You pulled back immediately, before Lucas could realize what just happened. Yes, Hendery broke your heart, but you weren’t going to be like him, you couldn’t use Lucas, you couldn’t do the same mistake Hendery did.

“I-I’m sorry. I just…fuck.” You left him standing there and went back to Hendery. His eyes lit up when he saw you coming back to him. “Hi baby. Do you want to go? This party sucks-“

“I kissed Lucas. It was just for two seconds, I pulled away. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to hurt you b-but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t c-cheat I-“ you started sobbing. Hendery softly led you outside, “I wanted you to feel like how I felt all the time. I want you to be scared to lose me, I want you to feel the same pain I feel. How would you feel If you couldn’t get me back? How would you feel If I cheated on you?” you cried out as you looked anywhere but Hendery.

You could hear him crying though, “I don’t want to lose you ever again, Y/n. I-I can’t believe I did this to you, you never deserved that a-and I love you. I love you so much and I would do anything to stop your pain. You’re so special- you mean so much to me and I fucked up so bad, but I promise you I won’t hurt you ever again. You have to believe me.”

He softly cupped your cheeks and looked you deep in the eyes, “I promise you Y/n. I won’t hurt you ever again. I love you so much, I can’t live without you. I need you by my side. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I love you and I will never hurt you again. Please give me a chance to make everything right.”

“Okay.” You nodded softly and he pulled you in for a hug, this time you hugged him back. “I love you so much, Y/n.”

One day you could say it back.

One day you’d be happy again.

Figures

[myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants]

Red lily and Bakugou???

I am sorry for the wait but here you go!

Warning: 'Mistress' and 'good boy', rope!, org@sm denial, bad poetry, lemme know if I missed anything!

Red Lily (passion) and Switch!Bakugo x Switch!Reader

18+ MINORS DNI

W/C - 1k+

“Katsuki, darling!” The grumpy blonde slumps in his seat, trying his best to hide from the woman and using Kirishima as a shield.

“Dude, hiding from a pretty lady isn’t very manly.”

“Shut up shitty hair!” Bakugo glares at his friend, but when he is hunched over like a child in trouble it doesn’t have the same effect.

“Hello Kirishima! Have you seen-” Bakugo knows he’s been caught, but his pride won’t let him sit up and admit to hiding from you.

“Umm….”

A tinkling of bells, you laugh. “No worries Kiri. If you see him, could you pass on a message for me?”

“Sure!”

“A mistress abides, the beast must be restrained well, the finish delayed.”

Kirishima coughs, the sound a mix between a laugh and him choking. “Is that a haiku or something?”

Bakugo takes a quick peek around Kirishima and your eyes meet immediately. With a blinding smile on your face and mischief in your eyes you reply. “Or something.”

*****

“I’m surprised shitty hair didn’t burst into flames at your ‘or something’ bullshit .” Bakugo takes off his shirt and tosses onto his overnight bag.

You laugh as you get ready in your bathroom. “I thought you liked my poems darling Katsuki?”

The man huffs, stripping down to his briefs before sitting on the edge of the bed. “I guess they're alright.”

“Just alright?”

Bakugo laughs, “Well their meanings are entertaining at least.”

You walk out of the restroom laughing, until you make eye contact with your lover. “Enjoying the view?”

He lifts his hand to reach out to you but puts it back down. “I will always enjoy looking at you.” How could he not? Especially when you are dressed just for him. Black lace sheer teddy with nothing underneath. It’s nothing especially complicated but enchanting nonetheless.

“Looking at you?”

“Mistress”

You walk over and pat him on the cheek. “Good boy.” Your eyes shine when his cheeks glow red at the praise. “Lay on the bed for me darling.” Bakugo nods then crawls backwards on the bed until he feels the pillows under his palm, then lays down. “Arms up.” He raises his arms above his head, crossing his wrists.

You coo at him while tying his wrists together and looping the rope around the hook securely attached to the headboard. As you step back from the bed you are delighted to see a sizable bulge in his briefs. “Such an excitable one you are.”

Bakugo clenches his fists then lets go, eyeing you with intensity but remaining silent.

“Now that the mistress has abided and the beast has been restrained,” you tug once on the rope “well. I guess it's time to delay the finish, yes?”

A shiver runs up his spine as your voice deepens and your eyes cloud over with lust. “But who’s ‘finish’ I wonder?” Bakugo raises an eyebrow in question and opens his mouth, quickly closing it when you shake your head

“Ah, ah, ah.” You climb onto the bed once more and straddle his slender hips, pressing a finger to his plush lips. “I have not given you permission to speak yet darling.”

He moans when he feels the slick wetness of your arousal pressed against him. Arching his back he tries to encourage you to move, needing to feel you grind your wet pussy on him.

Deciding to not scold him for moving without permission you grab his chin instead and direct his eyes to yours. “Speak.”

“I want you to use me, Mistress.”

You smirk, “Don’t I always darling?”

Bakugo doesn't answer but you can see the pleading in his eyes. He never says please, it goes against most of his beliefs but you wouldn’t ask him to anyway. “As you wish.” You start out slowly, coating his stomach in wetness, relishing the way Bakugo’s breathing gets heavier. As you speed up you lean forward just enough to grab on to his shoulders, using them to steady your movements.

“Such a good boy baby. Letting Mistress use you for her own pleasure.” Bakugo only nods his head, his eyes darting between your movements and your face. As you get closer to cumming, closer to jumping off that ledge you stop, whining at your own act of rejection.

“Not yet.” Being careful to not cause any friction on your swollen clit you climb off of Bakugou and lay next to him.

As you both steady your breathing you drag a finger through the slick covering his belly and press it to his lips. He opens his mouth and sucks on it greedily moaning at the taste. When you remove your finger he turns his head to gaze at you.

“Speak.”

“Why did you stop?” Bakugo's voice holds a tinge of disappointment, as if you had stopped him from cumming. Looking down at his briefs and seeing the wet spot you think maybe you did.

“I told you, didn’t I?” You sit up, kissing his lips softly and leaning to whisper in his ear. “The finish will be delayed.”

For what feels like an hour you continue building yourself up only to deny your own release. Bakugo's eyes are closed, his breathing heavy and broken with overwhelming anticipation. You had used his mouth, his thighs, his covered cock to bring yourself to the edge time and time again. At this point he was delirious with lust, wanting nothing more than to snap the rope holding his wrists and pin you down.

“Ha, I know what that look on your face means.” You shift, moving from your position atop Bakugou and leaning over him to untie his wrists. “I am in agreement.”

When the ropes are undone he rubs his wrists and sits up, a look of wary disbelief on his face.

“You may speak now, no need to stay quiet.”

“No more delaying?”

The animalistic glint in Bakugo's eyes sends a thrill of excitement to run through you. “No more delaying.” As soon as the last word is out of your mouth you are face down ass up on the bed.

Bakugou doesn’t waste a second before fully seething himself in you with a growl. It only takes one more thrust before you are cumming all over him and yourself.

“Fuck yes Mistress.” Bakugou keeps thrusting, prolonging your orgasm with his merciless pace as he grips your hips to pull you toward him. “Is this what you wanted? Wanted your good boy to fuck you like an animal?”

“Y-yes! Oh god yes!” You're drooling, eyes fluttering in an attempt to keep them open. Bakugou brings a hand around your waist and rubs harsh circles on your clit. Reaching his other hand to wrap around your throat and pull you up, your back pressed against his chest.

“Wanna feel ya cum again Mistress.” His pace grows sloppy as he gets closer to his own release. “Cum again and milk my cock darling.”

The way he growls out that last word pushes you over the edge and you climax, vision going dark as Bakugou cries out and hot spurts of cum coat your insides.

You both collapse in a heap, out of breath and covered in sweat. Bakugou pulls out of you and flops over to the side, not wanting to crush you with his full weight. You didn’t realize your eyes were closed until he leans over and kisses both your eyelids softly.

“I can’t wait for your next haiku”

@doinmybesthere @eyebagsbutglam @patchworkpuzzle @sugarspiceanddynamight @lady-bakuhoe

[dangermousie]

CFC 190

1. He Li is not the greatest human being, but I feel terrible for him -his whole world crashing and so publicly, being escorted to see his mother with newspapers salivating for a glimpse. Not to forget, he’s only 15. How nice that the fucking up of kids and teens continues.

2. Wei Rong also killed Chen Lisheng? Really? And not anyone else in the org? Hmmm.

3. I find it interesting that XQC can talk to WR so calmly. This is the woman who killed his parents and wrecked his whole life with the chain of events (hell, she had the car run him over and all the suffering that followed) and who He Yu, who he loved, died to bring to justice. But he’s still so calm. It reminds me of what he told HY back in the mental hospital when they thought XX might be dead - that he would keep going no matter what. That is both admirable and terrifying. Except for when he was a kid who tried to kill himself, he has never broken since. He is utterly broken as a person but he has never had that final crack - does that make sense?

4. XQC saying that the one good thing WR did was to have HY grow into a person different from He Li but the thing is - I suppose with a mother like that, neglect would be better than doting, but He Yu brought up himself with the guiding beacon of XQC’s presence and help of Vivian’s genetics (she was clearly the only OK person in that family) but the reason HY turned out to be a decent person is 99% to He Yu’s credit and is innate. He needed that anchor of XQC yes, but the fact is he was the kind of person for whom this was enough.

5. WR losing it and saying XQC brought up HY correctly, by sleeping with him like a prostitute. Lady, shut up! At least HY knew who he was sleeping with, which is more than I can say for his father. But she’s just lashing out, tryingto hurt as much as she can, with anything. Her saying XQC is the same as she, just using HY to avenge his parents and discarding him - wtf! First of all, XQC had no idea that is what HY was up to but also even if somehow he was, vengeance for parents’ murder is different in replacing some lady because you want to bang her husband and then embarking on the life of Lady Pablo Escobar.

6. What is Wei Rong’s fixation on pedigree and gay people? (Though if her attitude is shared by the org, which is clearly is, it explains why they were so quick to experiment on the poor - they really don’t see them as fellow humans.)

7. Now XQC is referred to as an ice sculpture. I love how often ice is associated with XQC (just as Meatbun in general is fond of the terms of cold and warm) - earlier it was as HY was melting that ice and now HY is gone and so it’s frozen more solid than ever, but this time, the ice won’t melt. It will just crack and shatter.

8. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!!!! Duan Wen trusted HY because HY agreed to have a chip implanted! (All the stuff he left was before that, because once the chip is implanted, he’d not have been able to do it.) AND FUCKING DUAN WEN IMPLANTED IT IN THE HEART!!!! I was wondering why he didn’t tell the cops/XQC the truth during that last call and gun battle - it really would have been fine by then. It is because he literally couldn’t. I cannot imagine the degree of despair he was in - knowing the truth and not being able to reveal it, watching his damnation near helpless.

Also, how horrifying is it that Wei Rong watched the procedure - probably enjoying HY’s suffering and no exit situation. And I cannot even imagine what went through HY’s mind when he saw where it was implanted and that this is really no chance ever because if it’s on the wrist, perhaps you can remove a wrist, but how do you cut out your own heart! (Symbolism!) I do wonder what is with Meatbun and hearts - I love it how it’s a theme. Both CWN and Mo Ran have their cores cracked/dug out and Gu Mang pierces through Mo Xi’s heart with his weapon. It’s like a physical mark of the suffering of love. I can’t even imagine what went through HY’s heart as he realized what is happening and realizing he cannot ever get out because if he changed his mind on the operating table, Duan Wen would kill him, but if he did not, his life is OVER forever. All of a sudden, HY’s possibly missing limb is the least of his problems.

9. Wei Rong only says it to hurt but she is factually correct - the one who made HY despair and broke him is not her or the org but XQC. He Yu “died” on that ship in despair, died believing XQC betrayed him to his enemies, that XQC did not care on even a basic level, he “died” asking to be shot. And knowing what we know about the loyalty tracker in him, the fact that he had any sort of hope before that makes it all the more heartbreaking because it shows his faith in and dependence on XQC - that despite the terrible situation he was in, he still did not want to die and had some hope - he really is tenacious and able to hold on by his fingernails because that is how he was able to survive so far. But then Chen Man’s appearance pried those fingernails off one by one.

10. What the fuck!!! One of XQC’s eyes went blind when HY died? I sort of like the matching symmetry of one limb and one eye and also it makes me think of Gu Mang and his eyes but at this point, so much of the narrative really is about disassembling the both of them, not just on an emotional but on a physical level and just....

11. I love the description where he slept and it was dark and dreamless, no teddy bears or amusement parks, no endless weeping and wailing by him. It’s like he lost his humanity of even dreaming. Except when he woke up, one of his eyes is blind and there are blood and tears under it. GOD, what an image! (And I love Meatbun’s sentence about a world where nothing looks like it changed but because of a loss of a person, everything has changed - it’s so true with loss - it’s monumental for the loved ones but the world just revolves moving on, oblivious.) But also, this is clearly his subconscious demonstrating what he consciously refuses - his loss and grief and how symbolically he’s now not whole without HY, how a part of him is missing. He is going blind because He Yu, He Yu’s love and care, was the light in his life.

I kinda need a lie down now.

[yourlocalsewerdragon]

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. {Laughing} Like that's ever gonna happen. {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes} What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey, now, you're an all-star {Shouting} Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold {Belches} Go! Go! {Record Scratching} Go. Go.Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold -Think it's in there? -All right. Let's get it! -Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. {Laughs} -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint. Now, ogres - - They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. -No! -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! {Gasping} -Right. {Roaring} {Shouting} {Roaring} {Whispers} This is the part where you run away. {Gasping} {Laughs} {Laughing} And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." {Sighs} {Man's voice} All right. This one's full. -Take it away! {Gasps} -Move it along. Come on! Get up! -Next! -Give me that! Your fiying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! -Get up! Come on! -Twenty pieces. {Thudding} -Sit down there! -Keep quiet! {Crying} -This cage is too small. -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! -Oh, shut up. -Oh! -Next! -What have you got? -This little wooden puppet. -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. -Father, please! Don't let them do this! -Help me! -Next! What have you got? -Well, I've got a talking donkey. {Grunts} -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. -Oh, go ahead, little fella. -Well? -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - - -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! -No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. -Get her out of my sight. -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! {Gasps} -Hey! I can fly! -He can fly! -He can fly! -He can talk! -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Oh-oh. {Grunts} -Seize him!

-After him! He's getting away! {Grunts, Gasps} {Man} -Get him! This way! Turn! -You there. Orge! -Aye? -By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility. -Oh, really? You and what army? {Gasps, Whimpering} {Chuckles} -Can I say something to you? -Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa! -Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. -Oh, that's great. Really. -Man, it's good to be free. -Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? -But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. {Roaring} -Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - {Mumbling} Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day. -Why are you following me? -I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone There's no one here beside me My promlems have all gone There's no one to deride me But you gotta heve friends - - -Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. -Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. -Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? -Uh - - Really tall? -No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? -Nope. -Really? -Really, really. -Oh. -Man, I like you. What's you name? -Uh, Shrek. -Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? -That would be my home. -Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. -I guess you don't entertain much, do you? -I like my privacy. -You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. -Can I stay with you? -Uh, what? -Can I stay with you, please? -Of course! -Really? -No. -Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! -Okay! Okay! But one night only. -Ah! Thank you! -What are you - - No! No! -This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. -Oh! -Where do, uh, I sleep? -Outside! -Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. {Sniffles} -Here I go. -Good night. {Sighs} -I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone There's no one here beside me {Bubbling} {Sighs} {Creaking} {Sighs} -I thought I told you to stay outside. -I'm outside. {Clattering} -Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? -It's not home, but it'll do just fune. -What a lovely bed. -Got ya. {Sniffs} I found some cheese. -Ow! {Grunts} -Blah! Awful stuff. -Is that you, Gorder? -How did you know? -Enough! What are you doing in my house? {Grunts} -Hey!

{Snickers} -Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table. -Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. -Huh? {Gusps} {Male voice} What? -I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I have to do get a little privacy? -Aah! -Oh, no. No! No! {Cackling} -What? -Quit it. -Don't push. {Squeaking} {Lows} - What are you doing in my swamp? {Echoing} Swamp! Swamp! Swamp! {Gasping} -Oh, dear! -Whoa! -All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! -Quickly. Come on! -No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. -Oh! {Sighs} -Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. -Oh, gosh, no one invited us. -What? -We were forced to come here. -By who? -Lord Farquaad. -He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice. {Sighs} -All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? {Murmuring} -Oh, I do. I know where he is. -Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all? -Me! Me! -Anyone? -Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! {Sighs} -Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! {Cheering} {Twittering} -Oh! You! You're comin' with me. - All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! -On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. -Hey. Oh, oh! -I can't wait to get on the road again. -What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Can I hum it? -All right, hum it. {Humming} {Grunts} {Whimpering} -That's enough. He's ready to talk. {Coughing} {Laughing} {Clears throat} -Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! -You are a monster. -I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me!{Grunts} -I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll - - -No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. -All right then. Who's hiding them? -Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? -The muffin man? -The muffin man. -Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin man. -The muffin man? -The muffin man! -She's married to the muffin man. {Door opens} -My lord! We found it. -Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. {Man grunting} {Gasping} -Oh! -Magic mirror - - -Don't tell him anything! -No! {Ginerbread man whispers} -Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? -Well, technically you're not a king. -Uh, Thelonius. -You were saying? -What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. -Go on. {Chuckles} -So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. -Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! -And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! -So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? -Two! Two! -Three! Three! -Two! Two! -Three! -Three? One? {Shudders} Three? --Three! Pick number three,

my lord! -Okay, okay, uh, number three! -Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. If you like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain -Princess Fiona. If you're not into yoga -She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - - -But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. -I'll do it. -Yes, but after sunset - - -Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament. -But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it. -So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. -Uh-huh. That's the place. -Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? {Laughs} {Groans} -Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. -Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. -Hey, you! {Screams} -Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - - {Whimpering} {Sighs} {Whimpering, Groans} {Turnstile clatters} {Chuckles} {Sighs} -It's quiet. Too quiet. {Creaking} -Where is everybody? -Hey, look at this! {Clattering, whirring, clicking} Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don't make waves, stay in line And we'll get along fine DuLoc is perfect place Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face DuLoc is, DuLoc is DuLoc is perfect ...... place {Camera shutter clicks {Whirring} -Wow! Let's do that again! -No. No. No, no, no! No. {Trumpet fanfare} {Crowd cheering} -Brave knights. -You are the best and brightest in all the land. -Today one of you shall prove himself - - -All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. -Sorry about that. {Cheering} -That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. {Cheering} -Let the tournament begin! {Gasps} -Oh! -What is that? {Gasping} -It's hideous! -Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. -Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named champion! Have it him! -Get him! -Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. -Go ahead! Get him! -Can't we just settle this over a pint? -Kill the beast! -No? All right then. Come on! I don't give a damn about my reputation You're living in the past It's a new generation -Damn! {Whinnying} A girl can do what she wants to do And that's what I'm gonna do And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me Me, me, me -Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Never said I wanted to improve my station -Ah! {Laughs} And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun -Yeah! And I don't have to please no one -The chair! Give him the chair! And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me Me, me, me Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me {Bell dings} {Cheering} {Laughs} -Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! {Shrek laughs} {Crowd gasping, murmuring} -Shall I give the order, sir? -No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! -What? -Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. -Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures! {Crowd murmuring} -Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. -Exactly the way it was? -Down to the last slime-covered toadstool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone. -What kind of quest? -Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only

don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. -Is that about right? -Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. -I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole orge trip. -Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? -Uh, no, not really, no. -For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think. -Example? -Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions. -{Sniffs} They stink? -Yes - - No! -They make you cry? -No! -You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs. -No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. {Sighs} -Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. -I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes. -You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious. -No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later. -Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. -You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobbering. I'm on my way from misery to happiness today Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh I'm on my way from misery to happiness today Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh And everything that you receive up yonder Is what you give to me the day I wander I'm on my way I'm on my way I'm on my way -Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that? -You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's brimstone We must be getting close. -Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither. {Rumbling} -Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. {Laughing} -Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers? -Oh, aye. -Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. -Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. -You know what I mean. -You can't tell me you're afraid of heights. -I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling like of lava! -Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. -Really? -Really, really. -Okay, that makes me feel so much better. -Just keep moving. And don't look down. -Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. {Gasps} -Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! -But you're already halfway. -But I know that half is safe! -Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. -Shrek, no! Wait! -Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me? -Don't do that! -Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? -Oh, this? -Yes, that! -Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. {Screams} -No, Shrek! No! Stop it! -You said do it! I'm doin' it. -I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh! -That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. -Cool. -So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? -Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. {Chuckles} -I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek. {Water dripping, wind howling} -You afraid? -No. -But - - - Shh. -Oh, good. Me neither. {Gasps} -'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might

add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that. {Gasps} -Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. -Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess. -The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. -What makes you think she'll be there? -I read it in a book once. -Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. {Creacing} -I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. -Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - - -Dragon! {Screams} {Gasps} {Roars} -Donkey, look out! {Screams} {Whimpering} -Got ya! {Roars} {Gasps} {Shouts} -Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! {Screaming} {Gasps} -Oh! Aah! Aah! {Gasping} {Crowls} -No. Oh, no, No! {Screams} -Oh, what large teeth you have. {Crowls} -I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - - (Coughs) -I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. Shrek! {Gasps} {Whimpering} -No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! {Groans, Sighs} {Vocalizing} -Oh! Oh! -Wake up! -What? -Are you Princess Fiona? -I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. -Oh, that's nice. Now let's go! -But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? -Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. -Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. -You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? -Mm-hmm. {Screams, grunts} -But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something! -I don't think so. -Can I at least know the name of my champion? -Um, Shrek. -Sir Shrek. {Cleans throat} -I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. -Thanks! {Roaring} -You didn't slay the dragon? -It's on my to-do list. Now come on! {Screams} -But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did. -Yeah, right before they burst into flame. -That's not the point. Oh! -Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there. -Well, I have to save my ass. -What kind of knight are you? -One of a kind. -Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned. {Laughs} -I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - - Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh! {Growls} {Roaring} {Gasps} -Hi, Princess! -It talks! -Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. {Screams} {Screaming} -Oh! {Thuds} {Groans} {Roars}

{Roaring} -Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon. {Fchoing} -Run! {Gasping} {Screaming} {Roaring} {Screams} {Roars} {Panting, sighs} {Whimpers} {Roars} -You did it! -You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful. You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt. {Clears throat} -And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? -I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. -The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. -Uh, no. -Why not? -I have helmet hair. -Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. -No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st. -But how will you kiss me? -What? That wasn't in the job description. -Maybe it's a perk. -No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. -Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you true love? -Well, yes. {Laughing} -You think Shrek is your true love! -What is so funny? -Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay? -Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your helmet. -Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I'm not going to. -Take ot off. -No! -Now! -Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness. -You- - You're a- - an orge. -Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. -Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an orge. {Sighs} -Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you. -Then why didn't he come rescue me? -Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. -But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- - his pet. -So much for noble steed. -You're not making my job any easier. -I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. -Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. -You wouldn't dare. Put me down! -Ya comin', Donkey? -I'm right behind ya. -Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! -Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? -You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your - - Hey! {Sighs} -The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. -You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! -And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? -Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. {Laughs} -I don't know. There are those who think little of him. -Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. -Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow. -Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp? -No, that'll take longer. We can keep going. -But there's robbers in the woods. -Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good. -Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. -I need to find somewhere to camp now! {Birds wings fluttering} {Grunting} -Hey! Over here. -Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a princess. -No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. -Homey touches? Like what? {Crashing} -A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. -You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. -I said good night! -Shrek, What are you doing? {Laughs} -I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding. {Fire cracking} -And, uh, that one, that's

Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. -Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? -The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for. -I know you're making this up. -No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. -That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots. -You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it. {Sighs} -Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? -Our swamp? -You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. -We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my land. -You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. -No, do ya think? -Are you hidin' something? -Never mind, Donkey. -Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? -No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things. -Why don't you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Why are you blocking? -I'm not blocking. -Oh, yes, you are. -Donkey, I'm warning you. -Who you trying to keep out? -Everyone! Okay? -Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere. -Oh! For the love of Pete! -What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway? -Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go. "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. -You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly orge. -Yeah, I know. -So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? -Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying. -Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there? -That's the moon. -Oh, okay. {Orchestra} {Dulcimer} -Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. -Hmph. -Ah. Perfect. {Inhales} {Snoring} {Vocalizing} {Whistling} {Sizzling} {Sniffs, yawns} -Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that. --Come on, baby. I said I like it. -Donkey, wake up. -Huh? What? -Wake up. -What? -Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs? -Good morning, Princess! -What's all this about? -You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. -Uh, thanks. {Sniffs} -Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. {Belches} -Shrek! -What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs} -Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. {Belches} -Thanks. -She's as nasty as you are. -{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected. -Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. {Vocalizing} -La liberte! Hey! -Princess! {Laughs} -What are you doing? -Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from this green - - {Kissing sounds} -beast. -Hey! -That's my princess! Go find you own! -Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here? -Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are! -Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry Men. {Laughs} {Accordion} Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo. I steal from the rich and give to the needy. He takes a wee percentage, But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels Man, I'm good What a guy, Monsieur Hood Break it down I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid What he's basically saying is he likes to get - - Paid So When an orge in the bush grabs a lady by the tush That's bad That's bad When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad He's mad He's really, really mad I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart Keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start {Grunts, Groans} {Karate Yell}

{Merry Men Gasping} {Panting} -Man, that was annoying! -Oh, you little- - {Karate Yell} {Accordion} {Shouting, groaning} {Chuckles} -Uh, shall we? -Hold the phone. {Grunts} Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from? -What? -That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that? -Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt! -What? Oh, would you look at that? -Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. -Why? What's wrong? -Shrek's hurt. -Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die. -Donkey, I'm okay. -You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the Heimlich? -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. -Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -{Both} Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of Donkey. -Ah. -Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. -Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'. -I'm sorry, but it has to come out. -No, it's tender. -Now, hold on. -What you're doing is the opposite of help. -Don't move. -Look, time out. -Would you - - {Grunts} -Okay. What do you propose we do? -Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns. -Ow! -Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! -Ow! Not good. -Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. {Grunts} -It's just about - - -Ow! Ohh! -Ahem. -Nothing happend. We were just, uh - - -Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay? -Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just- - Ugh! -Ow! -Hey, what's that? {Nervous chickle} -That's- - Is that blood? {Sighs} {Bird chirping} {Grunts} My beloved monster and me We go everywhere together Wearin' a raincoat that has four sleeves Gets us through all kinds of weather -Aah! She will always be the only thing That comes between me and the awful sting That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean {Croaks} Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh -Hey! La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la {Both laughing} La-la, la-la, la-la -There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you. -That's DuLoc? -Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really - - Ow! -Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on. -Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey. {Blubbering} -What? -I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good. -What are you talking about? I'm fine. -That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. Dead. -You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down? -Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea. -I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look, {Bones crunch} -Ow! See? -Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. -Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any toes! I think I need a hug. -Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this? -Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style. -No kidding. Well, this is delicious. -Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weedrat stew. {Chuckling} {Sighs} -I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. {Gulps} -Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it. {Chuckles} -I'd like that. {Slurps, laughs} See the pyramids along the Nile -Um, Princess? Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle -Yes, Shrek? -I, um, I was wondering. Just remember, darling all the while -Are you- - You belong to me

{Sighs} -Are you gonna eat that? {Chuckles} -Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset. -Sunset? -Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late. -What? -Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? -Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside. -Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until - - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. {Shrek sighs} -Good night. -Good night. {Door creaks} -Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here. -Oh, what are you talkin' about? -I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it. -You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. -Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel. -I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a princess, and I'm - - -An orge? -Yeah. An orge. -Hey, where you goin'? -To get... move firewood. {Sighs} -Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? {Wings fluttering} -Princess? {Creaking} {Gasps} -It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games. {Screams} -Aah! -Oh, no! -No, help! -Shh! -Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! -No, it's okay. It's okay. -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, I'm the princess. -Aah! -It's me, in this body. -Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me? -Donkey! -Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there! -No! -Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! -Shh. -Shrek! -This is me. {Muffled mumbling} -Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different. -I'm ugly, okay? -Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - - -No. -I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember. -What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before. -It's only happens when sun goes down. "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form." -Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. -It's a spell. {Sighs} -When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this. {Sobs} -All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. -But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. -Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? -I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. -But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you got a lot in common. -Shrek? -Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh - - {Sighs} -I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. -I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. {Gasps} -My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. {Deep sigh} -Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. -You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. -No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. -What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? -Promise you won't tell. Promise! -All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know before this is over, I'm

gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. -Look at my eye twitchin'. {Door opens} {Snoring} -I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. -Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - - {Snoring} -Shrek. Are you all right? -Perfect! Never been better. -I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you. -You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last night. -You heard what I said? -Every word. -I thought you'd understand. -Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?" -But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. -Yeah? Well, it does. {Gasps, sighs} -Ah, right on time. {Horse whinnies} -Princess, I've brought you a little something. {Fanfare} {Yawns} -What'd I miss? What'd I miss? {Muffled} -Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey. -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. -Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. -Take it and go before I change my mind. -Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. {Snaps fingers} -Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell. -Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the orge. It's not like it has feelings. -No, you're right. It doesn't. -Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in marriage. {Gasps} -Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? -Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - - -Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed! -No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets. -Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests! -Fare-thee-well, orge. -Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away. -Yeah? So what? -Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night, She's - - -I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? -Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you. -I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But I thought - - -Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong! -Shrek. I heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for music, do ya It goes like this the fourth, the fifth The minor fall the major lift The baffled king composing hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Baby, I've been here before I know this room I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew you I've seen your flag on the marble arch But love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah And all I ever learned from love Is how to shoot at someone Who outdrew you {Moaning} And it's not a cry you can hear at night It's not somebody who's seen the light It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah {Moaning} Hallelujah, hallelujah {Thumping sound} -Donkey? {Grunts} -What are you doing? -I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. -Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. -It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half. -Oh! Your half. Hmm. -Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. -Back off! -No, you back off. -This is my swamp! -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go. -Stubborn jackass! -Smelly orge. -Fine! -Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet. -Well, I'm through with you. -Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up

and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. -Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? -Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other! -Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in the back! -Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings. -Go away! -There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you. -Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking. -She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else. -She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about? -Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. Right? Right? -Donkey! -No! -Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right? {Sighs} -I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that's what friends are for, right? -Right. Friends? -Friends. -So, um, what did Fiona say about me? -What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her? -The wedding! We'll never make it in time. -Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. {Whistles} -Donkey? -I guess it's just my animal magnetism. {Laughing} -Aw, come here, you. -All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet. -Whoo! {Bells tolling} {All gasping} -People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union.... -Um- -of our new king - - -Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"? {Chuckling} -Go on. -Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't you? -What are you talking about? -There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!" -I don't have time for this! -Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you? -Yes. -You wanna hold her? -Yes. -Please her? -Yes! -Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that romantic crap! -All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? -We gotta check it out. -And so, by the power vested in me, -What do you see? -The whole town's in there. -I now pronounce you husband and wife, -They're at the altar. -king and queen. -Mother Fletcher! He already said it. -Oh, for the love of Pete! {Grunts} -I object! -Shrek? {Gasps} -Oh, now what does he want? -Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all. Very clean. -What are you doing here? -Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding - - -Fiona! I need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me - - -But you can't marry him. -And why not? -Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king. -Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. -He's not your true love. -And what do you know about true love? -Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - - -Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess! Oh, good Lord. {Crowd laughting} -An orge and a princess! -Shrek, is this true? -Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! Mmmmm! -"By night one way, by day another." I wanted to show you before. {Whimpers} {Crown gasping} -Well, uh, that explains a lot. -Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! Get them both! -No, no! -Shrek! -This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See? -No, let go of me! Shrek! -No! -Don't just stand there, you morons. -Get out of my way!

Fiona! Arrgh! -I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! -You'll beg for death to save you! -No, Shrek! -And as for you, my wife, -Fiona! -I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! -I'm king! {Whistles} -I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah! -Aah! -All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. {Roars} -I'm a donkey on the edge! {Belches} -Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? {Cheering} -Go ahead, Shrek. -Uh, Fiona? -Yes, Shrek? -I - - I love you. -Really? -Really, really. - I love you too. -Aawww! -"Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true form." -"Take love's true form. Take love's true form." -Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right? -Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. -But you ARE beautiful. {Chuckles} -I was hoping this would be a happy ending. I thought love was only true in fairy tales Oy! Meant for someone else but not for me Love was out to get me That's the way it seemed Disappointment haunted all my dreams And then I saw her face Now I'm a believer and not a trace Of doubt in my mind I'm in love Ooh-aah I'm a believer I couldn't leave her If I tried -God bless us, every one. Come on, y'all! Then I saw her face Ha-ha Now I'm a believer Listen! Not a trace Of doubt in my mind I'm in love Ooh-aah I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I tried -Ooh! -Uh! Then I saw her face Now I'm a believer Hey! Not a trace Uhh! Yeah. Of doubt in my mind -One more time! I'm in love I'm a believer Come on! I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey Y'all sing it with me! I Believe I believe People in the back! I believe I'm a believer I believe I believe I believe I believe {Hysterical laughing} -Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. -I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I believe in self-assertion Destiny or a slight diversion Now it seems I've got my head on straight I'm a freak an apparition Seems I've made the right decision To try to turn back now it might be too late Now I want to stay home today Don't wanna go out If anyone comes to play Gonna get thrown out I wanna stay home today Don't want no company No way Yeah, yeah, yeah I wanna be a millionaire someday But know what it feels like to give it away Watch me march to the beat of my own drum And it's off to the moon and then back again Same old day Same situation My happiness rears back as if to say I wanna stay home today Don't wanna go out If anyone comes to play Gonna get thrown out I wanna stay home today Don't want no company No way Yeah, yeah, yeah I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home......... I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes My heart skips a beat Girl, I feel so alive Please tell me, baby, if all this is true 'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you Oh-oh-oh Makes me wanna dance Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance Oh-oh-oh I look into your eyes Oh-oh-oh The best years of our lives When we first met I could hardly believe The things that would happen and we could achieve So let's be together for all of our time Oh, girl, I'm so thankful that you are still mine You always consider me like an ugly duckling And treat me like a Nostradamus was why I had to get my shine on I break a little something to keep my mind on 'Cause you had my mind gone Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh Turn the lights on, Come on, baby Let's just rewind the song 'Cause all I want to do is make the rest years the best years All night long Oh-oh-oh Makes me wanna dance Makes me wanna dance Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance It's a new romance Oh-oh-oh I look into your eyes Oh, yeah, yeah I look into your eyes Oh-oh-oh The best years of our lives Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.............. Everything looks bright Standing in your light Everything feels right What's left is out of sight What's a girl

to do I'm telling you You're on my mind I wanna be with you 'Cause when you're standin' next to me It's like wow And all your kisses seem to set me free It's like wow And when we touch it's such a rush I can't get enough It's like- - It's like Ooh-ooh Hey, what It's like wow Ooh-ooh, hey Hey, yeah It's like wow Everything is looking right now, right now It's like wow And I got this feeling This feeling it's just like wow It's just like wow You are all I'm thinking of. Like wow Everything feels right Everything feels right Like wow Everything looks bright All my senses are right Like wow Everything feels right Baby, baby, baby the way I'm feeling you Is like wow There is something that I see In the way you look at me There's a smile There's a truth In your eyes What an unexpected way On this unexpected day Could it be This is where I belong It is you I have loved All long There's no more mystery It is finally clear to me You're the home my heart's searched for So long It is you I have loved All long Whoa, over and over I'm filled with emotion As I look Into your perfect face

i don't think you guys understand how much i've suffered

[goodplace-janet]

Leverage s2e10, The Runway Job

human trafficking :( this situation is terrible

omg so i know tara was Awful in the last episode, but also? if you’re going to work with her, don’t be a dick, i guess?? idk how i feel about this

i really enjoyed that stretch of episodes where it wasn’t all about nate being an asshole lmao

‘we can’t keep calling sophie’ say the people who keep calling sophie for every little thing

“eliot? you do trust me, don’t you?” his face!!

shut up and let parker be bi

“just miss you :(” excuse me? i’m gonna cry??

is this gonna be a parker-centric episode bc yes please, it’s been a while

i love that they’re showing the process of getting tara’s cover story onto this woman’s radar, and also wow it’s so elaborate?

tara is also calling sophie!!

but she has a point. why do any of them put up with nate’s bullshit

“you owe me.” 👀 oh?

what the fuuuuck is with the house bomb??

this is so intense!!

oh, she grifts AND hits!

‘tell him the money’s on the way.’ ‘... yeah, we don’t have the money...’ do you WANT to get buried alive??

this is another case of EVERYBODY is in this dangerous situation out in the field, and hardison is there listening and lowkey helpless to do anything about it, and it reminds me of radio operators in zombies run and what i’m saying is a) don’t do this to that poor man but also b) i am enjoying the angst of it all

i appreciate that the three of them are calling nate out on his dangerous plan. they don’t have to like tara to value her safety and her place in their team

this whole scene with parker and eliot trying to get back into the fashion show is cute as hell, i love them

“his name is nathan ford, and he’s a con man” what is she doingggggg

“you’ve done nothing to earn my trust” i mean she’s right though!!

wait oh my god

they’re getting the whole operation shut down, so the workers are released from their indenture!!

i knew the 5 0 was code for SOMETHING when she said it, but i managed to completely forget it in the chaos lol. well played

so now the advocacy org is in charge of the factory instead, which means better working conditions. nice

“but no one in the WORLD is as good as you think you are” someone had to say it

that last phone call with sophie was just. i’m sorry, i don’t feel sorry for nate lmao

[enjennie]

Chapter 2 - Coffee Boy and a Chess Tournament

Chapter 1

Chapter 3 - Here

Word count: 2.5k

The girls were in a frenzy when they got to know about Yuri’s mystery coffee man. The girls in question would be Seoyun, Hyebin and Cho with the exception of Minjae, who had some student council business and ran off before they could have lunch together.

“Oh my, who could this be? Describe him to me once more,” Cho had her arm looped through Yuri’s as they walked out of the dining hall after having their lunch. Seoyun and Hyebin walked a few steps in front of them. Yuri couldn’t help but giggle, a week hasn’t gone by yet but a boy had already managed to catch her eye. She thought about his face for a moment, and started describing it to Cho. “Well, he had kind of a messy hair look. Had a varsity jacket on and wore all black underneath. Really bright eyes and oh don’t even get me started about his smile,” Yuri almost swooned.

Cho repeatedly starts hitting Yuri’s arm, uncontrollably giggling and shaking her by the shoulders. “He was wearing a varsity jacket? So he must be on the team!”

“Probably? I’m not sure which sport, though,” Yuri tells Cho, but Cho only shook her off. “There’s only one varsity team, silly. The Neos,” Cho explained, making big motions with her hands, but Yuri was no longer focusing on what she was saying when the mystery man himself had come striding in front of them.

Yuri hurriedly gets Cho’s attention by tapping on her arm and whispering, “That’s him! Over there,” Cho follows Yuri’s eyes and the two look onto the field that stretched acres. “No way,” Cho’s eyes widened, pulling her sunglasses down to make sure she was seeing correctly. “Na Jaemin?” the girl exclaimed. 

“Are you sure it’s him?”

Seoyun, Cho, Yuri and Hyebin were now sat on a picnic bench in the quad, huddled together and discussing the situation at hand. “It all makes sense, of course it’s him! I should’ve known when Yuri said coffee!” Cho facepalmed at her own ignorance.

Cho is the elite’s main source of information. She knows what’s the latest news about anyone within the campus. Knows where to get the best drugs, who’s throwing the parties, and where. She’ll get to know anything, all with one swipe on her phone.  Which is why she felt foolish for not thinking about Na Jaemin, Oakwood’s heartthrob and one of their elite members. The boy who can send any girl to their feet with one look.  “I just didn’t expect it… I don’t know why after Yeeun I didn’t think Jaemin had it in him to date,”

Yuri’s head turn in light of the information. “Yeeun, my roommate?”

Seoyun nodded, “The two dated for the first two semesters of freshmen year, then broke off when Yeeun and Jeno got caught hooking up at a party,” she explained to the dumbfounded girl. Yuri frowned, “Was that why-“

“That’s why I told you not to meddle with Jeno,”

“Did Yeeun and Jeno date then?”

“Yes, for a while. Like, two weeks a while. We’ve never seen Jaemin and Jeno be apart for so long we thought it was over for good, but I guess they worked it out in the summer since they’re pals again,”

Yuri’s head was spinning at this point. She hadn’t even met Yeeun yet, so she tried not to get her perception of her roommate get affected by the things she’s hearing about her.

 After a while, the group of girls pack it up and start heading back to the dorms when Cho receives a text regarding a party. “Of course, it’s one of Jeno’s parties. So he can fish out the girls he wants to play with for the year,” Minjae, who’d joined them a few minutes before, rolled her eyes. Cho and Hyebin on the other hand didn’t share her distaste for the male. “You can’t deny, Jeno throws the best parties,”

She couldn’t. It was true. But she was uninterested.

“11pm chess tournament, first 5th at the Lee Estate,”

Yuri blinked, registering the unfamiliar terms. “First fifth?”

Minjae put her arm around the girl as she elucidated to the somehow always clueless Yuri. “The first fifth would mean this Friday. We use codes like chess tournament or board games to talk about upcoming parties. We change it up every now and then, though. To prevent weasels,”

Yuri understood right away, but didn’t think there would be a need for these types of stuff.

“Isn’t college all about parties?” Yuri asked, matter of factly, humouring Minjae and Seoyun. “Then you came to the wrong school. Oakwood doesn’t allow parties, this is where rich families send their troubled children they don’t have time for. Discipline here is no joke,”

Yuri wondered how she never knew this about the school she’d done extensive research about before applying to.

The week flew by quickly, and soon enough Yuri found herself on the fifth of the week. She managed to survive all her classes and was pretty satisfied with how well she’s coping up. Despite being new to her surroundings, she’s only gotten lost in the campus twice. Which is a record, for newbies apparently. Hyebin told Yuri about her first time getting lost at Oakwood and she ended up at the teacher’s locker rooms. She recalled having to squat under a desk for hours, praying to god no one would use the desk she was under. Both girls had a laugh about it.

Today would be the party, but before that, they had to join orgs and clubs. Minjae, as student body secretary, already has the council as her club. Seoyun on the other hand, signed up for theater along with Renjun. Cho and Hyebin, were nowhere in sight which forced Yuri to go about club hunting on her own.

She’d thought about it for the whole week, however she wasn’t entirely sure yet. Originally, she would just join any orgs her friends were in but she can’t run for student body, and neither can she act so that was out of the question.

Yuri looked around her, flocks of people gathered in small and big groups, already looking like they were all familiar with each other. She dug her hands deep in her pockets and sighed before catching sight of somewhere that actually interested her.

Student Publication club, their banner was straight to the point and plain. A boy in a similar looking varsity as Yuri had seen Jaemin and Jeno wearing sat in front of the desk, beside him was Cho, who Yuri was glad to see. She walked towards them and waved when Cho’s eyes met hers.

“Yuri! Did you join a club yet?” Cho enthused. Yuri shook her head, and the boy beside Cho lifts his eyes from the paper he was reading.

“Depends, are you guys still hiring?” Yuri inspected the sign up sheet displayed on their table, which had a good amount of names scribbled on it already. Cho hands her a pen, “You’re so in. This is Mark, pub president,”

“I’d appreciate if you stopped calling our club a pub,” the said Mark scolds. “Nice to meet you I’m Mark Lee,” he stretched his hand forward and Yuri shook it. “Pleased to meet you, Mark,”

Mark has dark hair that fell over his forehead and round eyes that pierced through Yuri’s. He has high cheekbones and a nicely defined jawline. Mark flashes Yuri a smile and she’s stunned by it.

When will I stop getting surprised by all the hot boys that roam this school?

 “Hi, losers. How’s it going?” a boy with hair that resembled a lion’s mane had walked up to the table. He had full lips and cute cheeks.

“Speak for yourself, Donghyuck,” Cho retorts at the boy.

The boy faces Yuri, giving her a curt smile. “Oh, are you signing up? I got a tip for you… run now,” he says, before receiving a firm backhand smack from Mark who’d leaned over the table. Yuri laughed, watching the two boys wrestle. “It’s almost time. I reckon no one else wants to sign up, so what do you say we wrap up?” Cho nudges Mark and he agrees. “Yuri? Want to go together?”

“Sure,”

“Oh you’re the Yuri I’ve been hearing about. Hi, I’m Donghyuck, you can call me Hyuck for short,” the boy had gotten himself out of Mark’s headlock and fixed himself up. “The Yuri you’ve been hearing about?” Yuri asked.

Hyuck nods, “Renjun hit you with the soccer ball, right?” he chuckled and Yuri wanted to curl up into a ball right then and there. “Is that what I’m known for now?” Yuri scrunched her nose, cringing. Hyuck laughed, his eyes glimmered and he pats her shoulder as a form of consoling. “That’s fine, I was known as the bread boy last year… I shoved a whole roll into my mouth and the photos weren’t pretty,” he looked scornfully as he remembered his past.

Yuri’s lips curled into a smile and she laughed at Hyuck’s little story.

“Yuri, c’mon,” Cho pulls on Yuri’s arm and the two mutter a quick goodbye to each other before Yuri’s swept away.

“So you’ve met her,”

The boys were gathered in the field, by the bleachers. The soccer team was already their club, so they didn’t have to go club searching and signing up. Donghyuck and Mark had caught up to Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun who were sat, sharing a blunt.

“Yeah. You guys didn’t tell me she was that much of a stunner, I could’ve prepared for a better first impression,” muttered Hyuck, who had his hair in a mess and a lazy outfit to match.

Renjun scoffed, “Please, I hit her with a soccer ball. How’s that for a first impression?”

The boys shared laughs and Jeno looks over at Jaemin, who was looking through his camera checking the shots he was able to take from the event.

“Someone’s quiet,” Jeno comments.

Jaemin’s head shot up, already knowing it was him. “What?”

“I heard from Seoyun that you left quite an impression on Yuri,” Jeno sported a sly grin on his face. Jaemin rolls his eyes, looking back down at his camera.

“I just gave her coffee because she looked like she was gonna die without it,”

“Right,” Renjun murmured.

“Shut up, Renjun,” the boy hissed.

Yuri was confused. Not only did Minjae just push a Versace dress to her chest, complete with Louboutins to match, she also told her to ‘keep it’.

“Wait, but why?” uttered Yuri, examining the dress and shoes that probably cost more than all her life spending totaled. Minjae didn’t bat an eye as she pulled out another dress from her wardrobe in a stone blue shade, putting it against her body to check if it was what she was going for. “I don’t think red suits me, but I reckon it’d look good on you though, so keep it,” she mutters.

“I can’t take this, Minjae. But thank you,” Yuri mused as she put down the dress and shoes on the bed. Minjae turned around and crossed her arms. “Then what will you wear to the party?”

“I think I have a Zara dress somewhere,” Yuri shrugged.

“You can’t be caught dead in a Zara dress. We’re not in our 30s yet! Put this on. It’s an order,” Minjae took the dress and pushes it into Yuri’s hands once more. The girl could only abide.

 Once dressed, the girls go about their plan to meet up at Hyebin’s dorm. Sneaking past the RA and professors going on rounds, they arrived without getting caught. By 10:30, they were removing their heels to get ready to make their escape through Hyebin’s terrace.

“You want me to jump?” Yuri gasped, looking down at the height in which they had to come down from.

The rest of the girls had already made their way down, strategically climbing down using the rope they’d tied to the railing of the terrace. They were now waiting for Yuri, who looked like a cat scared for its life.

“You’ve got… three girls to catch you, don’t worry!” called Seoyun in a hushed voice.

“We have 2 minutes until the guard comes back around,” Minjae looked down at her phone.

“Granted, it’s our fault for not telling her beforehand that she’d be coming down at least 3 meters high off a balcony,” Hyebin looked up at Yuri in pity. “Come on, girl! You got this,” encouraged Seoyun at her poor friend.

Yuri’s heart raced and with sweaty hands, she threw her legs over the railing and grabbed onto the rope, hugging it for dear life. She probably flashed the three girls but her only agenda was to really get to the ground safe, and so she did.

“Great! Nice one, Yuri. Come on,” Seoyun had her heels in hand and she grabs Yuri’s with the other, pulling her to the direction of the trees for their getaway. Seoyun, Hyebin, Yuri and Minjae ran altogether until they reach a secluded area, unfamiliar to Yuri.

“Now,” Seoyun puts her heels back on. “The fun starts,” she continued, before running towards to a hooded figure in the distance and being engulfed in a hug. She pulls the person into the light, revealing Renjun.

“You girls ready to party?” yelled an ecstatic Jeno, who’d appeared from a convertible car parked behind Renjun.

I’ve gone down a 3 meter high balcony in the tiniest dress ever, Yuri thought. This better be one hell of a party.

[idjitlili]

What can I say I like a climb.

Thorin xhalf elf!reader

A/n:Bruh imagine having a crush on Andy from the office before just because you had a dream about him dressing up as Gaston and coming to your old high school only to see you slip on the grass. Yeah it happened a couple of months ago when I was still in high school

Summary:growing up as Gandalf's adopted daughter ,being apart of the company only to pass through Rivendell,only to make thorin rage with jealousy

Word count:1921

It was no secret that Gandalf wasnt your real father, you both looked nothing a like. However this didnt stop him loving you like you were his actual child,you werent sure if wizard could have children. You wondered if he ever got horny,it disturbed you but you did wonder. Anyways yiu didnt know your parents ,they were killed by orcs ,Gandalf found you crying as babe ,and thats all you know. You were half elf ,half human ,mostly Thorin didnt like that very much when he found out ,it just meant you lived longer than a human would.

So how you ended up in the company of Thorin Oakenshield was; simply because Gandalf didnt want to leave you with the elves again ,or leave you at home where you could be in more danger. You were more than capable of defending yourself,due to your many vists with Elrond they had trained you very well. You also became best friends with Lindir since he was responsible for most of your training ,plus being your tutor. Lindir was also abandoned as a child but was taken in by Elrond. He grew to become a marchwaden.

Lindir was a shy elf ,as were you ,yet around each other you were very comfortable. Many of your visits he would have to carry to your room ,because you had fallen asleep against him looking at the stars while he told you a story. You both very much enjoyed each others company.

However your feelings towards the dwarven king were much different to how you felt about Lindir. You knew you liked him as soon as you saw him at Bag end ,yes you were very much taken back by his looks ,you swear you fell in love with him right then and there. Of course you thought he could never like you ;he's a bloody king. Oh how wrong you were. He had no choice but to allow you on this quest ,being gandalf,s daughter and all. Gandalf told him to basically to shut the fuck up ,you were coming.

Thorin would never admit it but he did always make sure you were safe,and eating ,covering up with shes such a burden,or whatever. What about when he found out you were part elf? Yeah so you had just bathed and your hair was wet and pushed back and he saw your ears he was like

"you are fucking elf?" he had literally grabbed your elf ,whilst you were standing up ,looking at it ,you had groaned at the contact. Lets pretend that didnt make want Thorin touch your ears more roughly."part,not full,cant you tell compared to elves im an orge." and with that you had pulled your ear from his dwarven fingers walking away. He was left in shock ,how you could thik so low of yourself. shrek is hot though,but you thought you were an ugly orge.Thorin didnt like elves,but he definitly liked you had thought you were absolutely beautiful. With your e/c eyes ,h/l h/c hair,your height ,our form your personality everhting.

Anyways you had just arrived at Rivendell,Lindir hadnt seen you in a while ,and hadnt noticed you yet. You were led to dinner ,with was all veg,you had to agree with ori you could do with some chips right about now,or even some lembas bread. You werent surprised that he didnt recognise you you had developed more in body wise plus you were muddy and wearing a big coat and hat. He had looked for you when he saw Gandalf but when he couldnt see you he assumed you were at home ,he was disappointed..

Kili was sat next to you and Bofur ,he was admiring the elves,saying they didnt have enough facial half. "though that one isnt  bad." he had gestured to a male elf,making the whole company burst out with laughter. "that isnt a  elf maiden." kili face flashed red in embarrassment. You had nudged him still giggling "dont worry,young prince, I know which male elf I would fuck too." you had smirked eyeing lindir ,of course you wouldnt but if you had to you would. The company had laughed again "shes got a dirty mouth laddies." dwalin had pipped up, you smirked pulling off your coat and hat,as the company watched in confusion.

Standing up running over to Lindir ,jumping up onto him wrapping your legs around his waist,arms around his/ next. The company had gasped in shock."is she allowed to do that...?" bilbo had questioned,Thorin watched with a scowl on his face,Dwalin noticed laughing at his friend ,who scoffed. You had pressed a kiss to Lindir's cheek,who's arms now went around your back holding you to him,securely. "mellon, Its been a time." he had spoke placing you down,hugging you briefly. "it has indeed , I missed my bestfriend." you stood in front of him ,smiling ,thorin was still not convinced he was just your friend.

 "youve grown mellon nin." he smiled ,speaking quietly trying to ignore the dwarves ,Thorin almost scoffed louder than a waterfall,as it was obvious what he meant.  The dwarves watched carefually as the next  thing out your mouth really made them think that they really didnt know you. "I know! my breasts have grown finally!" you had literally squished your boobs together over your tunic,making lindir blush in embarrassment ,but laughing. Kili  and fili had watched you ,before looking at their uncle smirking ,he didnt even look at them.  " i meant your slyness," you had giggled at him before hugging him again,before informing him you would talk to him later ,joining the dwarves again.

In which they all stared at you intensely. "so ,you and the elf then?" kili had spoken ,nudging you in the ribs like you had down to him earlier. "yeah we are bestfriends." thorin had scoffed,you had looked at him confused at this gesture. "just friends? right" his tone stern and disbelieving."we have been friends since I was a babe,thats all." you tried to hold eye contact with  thorin but he just looked away with a hard expression. "but you said you rough it up with him." Dwalin tried defending his best bud. "it was a joke thats it,hes my bestfriend that all. not that it is any of your bloody businesses. " you stood up abruptly. "thank you elrond for dinner ,may I be excused."he had simply nodded his head ,you gathered your coat,and hat one for Lindir to come over taking them leading to you to your room.

His hand on your mid back,leading you away from the drama ,Thorin had watched you leave almost gulity for making you upset. Once he had gotten you to your room he had began to sort you a bath ,brushing through your tangled hair first,slowly getting you to relax."Ooooh I'm a dwarf I can give a joke ,but I cant take one, also my nose is bigger than my dick" you had mocked as Lindir finished your hair ,pulling you up shoving you in the bathroom. "you know they are only doing it because Thorin thinks you like me and not him. You mouth gapped open as he shut the bath room door aallowing your privacy.

You couldnt sstop thinking about what Lindir said so much so once you were in your night gown ,exiting the bathroom to meet with Lindir for a stroll in the gardens. You had tripped on your own feet, and Lindir didnt see as he was reading a  book in a chair.  Turns out you landed badly on your wrist ,screamed out in pain,Lindir became sonic rushing to you.You didnt even get a chance to explain before he rushed you to the healers. In which they gave you some herbs for the pain and wrapped up your sprained wrist,putting it into a sling.  

Lindir had held out his arm for you ,and led you to a bench in the gardens  ,your damp hair pushing it out your face in annoyance. Lindir notices this forces you to sit down,before he braids it swiftly ,before a voive clears their throat. Lindir finishes tying the braid off with a ribbon,he places a hand on your shoulder,before bowing his head at at someone leaving. You turn to see Thorin standing in front of you ,you quickly stand,hiding your arm in robe. You knew he would be furious if he saw what happen. His face is unreadable ,he's scowling as usual.

"uh..hi?" you had spoken unsure where to look,just generally confused why he was here. "you aren't together ,but he braids your hair?" he scowls ,you groan in annoyance,walking closer to him. "you know what you are bloody getting on my nerves, dwarf." you had growled out his eyes go wide slightly at your outburst,before returning into a scowl. "for the last time I am NOT dating lindir. The only reason he was braiding my bloody hair was because I sprained my wrist , and couldnt. Secondly even so he can because to elves and humans braids dont suggest we are bloody fucking." you had pointed your left hand ,pointer finger into his chest harshly. You tried not to go weak at the knees ,feeling the muscle he had on his chest.

Yet Thorin had became unbelievably calm as he forced you to sit with him on the bench,by guiding you with his hand on your mid back. "how did that happen?your arm." his hand reached over to move the robe from covering it,his hand lightly grazing the bare skin on your upper arm. Of course you were wearing an night gown under ,just incase you forgot. "..uh..weell i bathed ,then i walked out and tripped over my own feet ,thats it. Before you say anything thats why I was screaming not because lindir had his dick in me." you looked at him deadly serious ,he had sent you smile which was completely new to you.

"I believe you,y/n. I'm sorry for the way I werent around trying to find out if you were free to court?" you had choked at his words. "wait Lindir was right ,you do want to court me?" you had  almost whispered ,he had nodded at you before you threw your one arm around him,hugging him tight ,which he does the same yet carefually,not wanting hurt your arm more.

"Lindir is going to tease me till the end of time,i swear."

bonus~in greenwood .

"and why does a half elf travel with dwarves." Thranduil had asked you circling you both , in reply you had jumped on Thorin ,wrapping legs around his waist.

"what can I say I like to climb" Thorin smirked at the elven king.

"guards remove her!"

"dont tell my dad!"

[purplesurveys]

1010

survey from diggitydoo

Have you ever felt a baby kick? Yes, when my mom was pregnant with my brother. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? I’m only wearing a duster gown; no shorts underneath. I just got it last night, actually - my mom wanted to donate clothes to victims of a recent fire incident in Manila and so she asked my sister and I to sort through our closets for clothes we were willing to give away. My sister ended up giving away a comfy-looking duster gown that she never even wore and even smelled brand new to boot. It ended up in my hands, ha. But apart from that we gave away a lot of stuff that aren’t old uniforms or costumes (which is what most people tend to ‘donate’, ugh), so we just hope they end up with people who really need them. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Last night I went on our org’s Discord server and we played Jackbox games for around an hour or so. It was my first time to socialize again after around two months and I really, really needed that moment. I even met the org’s newest roster of applicants for this semester, which was neat. :) What was the scariest moment of your life? Men terrorizing me or near-car crashes I’ve had.

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? The name is familiar, but that’s the most I know.

Pancakes or flapjacks? I guess pancakes, since I don’t even know what flapjacks are. What kind of computer are you on? It’s a laptop. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what's your favorite dish? For sure. Pork buns or minced pork with eggplant. With century egg on the side, yum. What are you usually doing at midnight? Either passed out or desperately trying to sleep because I don’t want to lose any more hours of sleep and risk being cranky for the whole of the next day. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? No. The worst thing that’s happened was being someone’s ball date (and unbeknownst to me, they apparently had feelings for me at the time) while I was already with someone. If so, how did it turn out? He figured it out by himself, which I still feel bad about. But the timing was super off and I just couldn’t find a moment to sit him down and set the record straight...ah well. It was just super complicated at the time. Give me your brief definition of love. My favorite love-related quote is “Love never says ‘I have done enough’” and for the longest time, that has been my guiding principle when it comes to it. Definitely a tad bit cheesy, but telling myself that over and over makes it easier to continue loving the people I care for and be patient with them when they’re being asses. Gab included, then and now. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? It differs for everyone but I’m a thigh girl through and through. What kind of shoes do you wear? Uh...various ones? I have sneakers, flats, heels, flip-flops, probably a couple more kinds that I can’t place at the moment. What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Resorting to physical violence. I was a kid constantly exposed to violence in my old home, and at the time I genuinely thought that’s how most things were settled or pacified. I still feel like shit about it to this day, and my backstory isn’t an excuse at all; but the past is the past and I’ve been trying to make up for it by being a much more gentle angry person in the last few years. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? Nope. Do you like the smell of coconuts? For some reason I can’t stand anything coconut (which is a damn shame considering I’m Filipino) but I love dishes with heaps of coconut milk in them, like curry. That’s the one coconut-related thing I enjoy, but otherwise I’ve never learned to appreciate the taste and smell of buko juice, coconut shavings, coconut pies, and everything else coconut. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? From what my old PE class showed me, around 70 to 80 lbs. Do you take Tums? Idk what that is so I guess I don’t. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? I’m not sure if I’ve been to a pier before. I bet it feels wonderful and freeing and I’d love to visit one; but I also can’t keep myself from associating piers with the recurring image of Jennifer Connelly’s character standing on one from Requiem for a Dream. How about under one? No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? Not sure if it was 11 or 12, but it was definitely one of those years. Do you feel that way around anyone now? Yeah, if they allowed me to see them. But I’m shut out now so I haven’t had that sensation in a while.

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? No. Do you ever sing to yourself? Sure. I’m sure most people do every once in a while. What is a sound that relaxes you? Ocean waves have never failed. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? ‘Main goal’ sounds so overwhelming; I make it a point to avoid one overarching goal and instead make little goals and plans here and there depending on where I am in life. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? Never heard of it. What is your main heritage? Filipino. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? I hate pickles. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? Mozzarella and feta are my faves, but I love cheese and am willing to be adventurous when it comes to it. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? Eh, they can stay in the sea where they can actually survive. I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to keeping fish as pets. How about a farm animal? Probably pig. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? No, and ew. What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? Haven’t been exposed to a lot of new music lately and the songs I do get to hear on the radio whenever I drive are actually pretty good. This totally doesn’t answer your question but my favorites so far have been Birthday by Disclosure, Kehlani, and Syd; and Plain by Benee, Lily Allen, and Flo Milli. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? Any Kanye song I like. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? Not wanting to go into another downward spiral. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? Extremely rarely. I only do when there’s a new slang I’m completely unfamiliar with. Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? Stupid for the most part. I find them too immature or vulgar, but that’s one of the points of the website so I guess I’m just not in their target audience lol. What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'transformation'? Uh, the Transformer robots.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? My cousins’ toy soldiers.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? Eh, a few times. If so, what did you do? I’ve been pulled to drinking sessions here and there when I really shouldn’t be drinking because I had an important test tomorrow or something else was happening the next day that was just as significant. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? Teeth, I’m pretty sure. I’ve had braces, needed a tooth extracted, gotten a cavity, and gone through a severe toothache.

Do a lot of people check you out when you're in public? Idk I never look around because being aware of it would just freak me out and make me feel like I’m naked. What is a good name for a turtle? Would depend on their personality. And this applies to all kinds of pets, at least for me. I don’t decide on their names until I have a good grasp of their attitude. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? Stereotypical Filipino mom and valley girl. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? Sure. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? I’ve only kissed one person so I’m not the best judge for this; but I always like it when my lower lip is tugged or grazed on. How many times a year do you have a family thing? This is a little vague for me. Do you mean get-togethers? Giant-ass reunions? Movie nights? Game nights?  What are the best things to put in a smoothie? I only like one kind of smoothie and it’s sold by a local joint – and I think I’ve already shared this before but that smoothie of theirs that I like has “apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk,” according to their menu. So I guess those are the best ingredients for me, ha. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? When I find something extremely delicious, yeah. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? For the most part I can’t wait to get out of suburban residential villages. I’d love to finally experience living in a condo in a super busy and active city. Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? Yes.

Are you watching your weight? Not really. I’m trying to gain pounds though, if anything. I haven’t eaten much in the last two months. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? I trust y’all with my life, so that’s one. Apart from Tumblr, the best friends I made were probably the people in the AJ/Punk fandom, back when I had a stan account on Twitter. I don’t remember most of their names now and we fizzled out pretty quickly when both parts of the ship left WWE, but I look back on that period with fondness. Those people made high school a lot easier for me. What makes your best friend your best friend? She doesn’t care whether I’m on top of the world with happiness or completely self-destructive and crying my eyes out; she has always been present. Do you have a drunk uncle? *rolls eyes* We don’t wanna open up that can of worms... Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? Nope. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? Based on personal experience and not to come off as sexist, but it’s liking wrestling. I have never met a girl in real life who has even the most remote interest in pro wrestling or can tell me who Hulk Hogan is. And the ones I’ve had discussions with - from shallow/casual to in-depth - have all been guys. Seeing girls who are into wrestling is like finding a rare Pokemon, at least in real life. What is the girliest thing you do, if you're a girl? Idk. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? Probably the spork tattoo of Josh, a crew member from Good Mythical Morning. It’s just a line tattoo. Of a spork. On his arm. But he managed to make it so goddamn fascinating lmao; and apparently, as I learned just now, it has a pretty touching backstory to it too, which makes it a million times cooler. Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? I’ve never finished any of the crafts I bought. Never finished a coloring book page much less an entire coloring book, a painting, a gem painting...it’s something I’ll have to bring my butt to do one of these days. I can’t imagine how fulfilling it would feel. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? I eat the whole thing but I honestly find Oreos too sweet and I’ve always much rather preferred Oreo-flavored stuff instead of the actual cookies.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? My mom. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? She’s fed me for 22 years and gave me an education, I guess. Though it’s something I appreciate more so than like. Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? Probably as a dumb kid, when historical context wasn’t a thing to me yet. I still wince thinking about it, but I suppose what matters is being better and more responsible moving forward. Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? Angela and to some extent Andi. 

If so, what about them do you like most? They are both understanding when it comes to me - almost to a fault. What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? When you say ‘hotdogs’ here, it refers to the sausages itself. The sandwich kind of hotdog isn’t super popular here. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? My siblings are still resting in their rooms; my dad is preparing for work, I think. What is the most money you've ever had at one time? Something like P10,000 or P15,000 when my mom needed me to pay for something in cash. How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? Idk, maybe 10 minutes. I won’t be fast, that’s for sure. Look down. What do you see? My legs and the pillow I’m sitting on. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Right now, probably my failed relationship. I haven’t gotten to the sharing stage yet and remotely thinking about it gets my voice all shaky. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? Paramore. What kind of mood were you in most of today? It’s only 7:52 AM. My only mood so far is just woke up. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? Yeah. Because people in this damn house never knock. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. The word ‘ariba.’ What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Break my trust. So simple but it packs a punch. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Idk if I’ve ever been that aggressive. When I want to do something destructive towards someone I always end up asking what it would feel like if the action was done to me, and it’s always been enough to sway me away from doing the thing. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? Sad. How about the last person (your last ex)? Same person. What is the best invention ever invented? Air conditioners.

What is something that needs to be invented? Portable air conditioners. What always makes you burp? My burps come randomly. What are you doing tomorrow? It’s my last weekend before my new job, soooooooo...I’ll be bumming around for my last two days of freedom.

[bigskydreaming]

Speaking of Riley and other friends who are excellent, allow me to take a moment to pimp some of their books if anyone’s got some spare coin and is looking for good reads while on lockdown.

Noteworthy by Riley Redgate

It’s the start of Jordan Sun’s junior year at the Kensington-Blaine Boarding School for the Performing Arts. Unfortunately, she’s an Alto 2, which—in the musical theatre world—is sort of like being a vulture in the wild: She has a spot in the ecosystem, but nobody’s falling over themselves to express their appreciation. So it’s no surprise when she gets shut out of the fall musical for the third year straight. But then the school gets a mass email: A spot has opened up in the Sharpshooters, Kensington’s elite a cappella octet. Worshiped . . . revered . . . all male. Desperate to prove herself, Jordan auditions in her most convincing drag, and it turns out that Jordan Sun, Tenor 1, is exactly what the Sharps are looking for.

Rio’s got two other books you should also check out, I just grabbed this one at random because they’re all great (though its actually ‘7 Ways We Lie’ that’s my personal fave because Reasons).

Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack and kill her best friend Saengo.

And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life.

Unveiled as the first soulguide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soulguide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

This one is the start of a new duology and doesn’t actually come out until June 23rd, but Lori’s got a couple other books out already that are also worth the read. Her Infinite series starts with Gates of Thread and Stone and has the first two books out, there will be a concluding third volume still to come. But I’m lucky enough to have gotten to read Forest of Souls in advance cuz Nyah nyah (I’m so mature, phear my age and wisdom) and its by faaaaar my favorite of hers to date, including more than just the other two books she’s had published so far, and just look at that cover. Ugh. I love it so much. 

(It wasn’t her original cover, actually, they originally wanted to go with this cover of Suck that made me go umm how do you say “Eww” in polite, and authors have little to no feedback they can give on the cover, but Lori took a shot and sent in some examples of other cover artists she really liked and thought had styles fitting her image of the book better, and they picked one of the ones she sent and commissioned a whole new cover, and voila, ended up going with the above cover in all its spooky, thematically ominous glory.) 

On The Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis

A thrilling, thought-provoking novel from one of young-adult literature’s boldest new talents. January 29, 2035. That’s the day the comet is scheduled to hit—the big one. Denise and her mother and sister, Iris, have been assigned to a temporary shelter outside their hometown of Amsterdam to wait out the blast, but Iris is nowhere to be found, and at the rate Denise’s drug-addicted mother is going, they’ll never reach the shelter in time. A last-minute meeting leads them to something better than a temporary shelter—a generation ship, scheduled to leave Earth behind to colonize new worlds after the comet hits. But everyone on the ship has been chosen because of their usefulness. Denise is autistic and fears that she’ll never be allowed to stay. Can she obtain a spot before the ship takes flight? What about her mother and sister? When the future of the human race is at stake, whose lives matter most?

Cory is actually one of my oldest friends lmao, like, I first met her through another writing friend when we both roleplayed on this messageboard X-Men: Evolution RPG over fifteen years ago, and just....somehow never lost track of each other through all our various hyper-fixations and divergent fandoms and even with years-long ‘vanishing from the internet’ periods by yours truly (I am was mysterious and enigmatic, hear me roar). This is actually her third published novel? Or maybe second, I forget the order....her first, Otherbound, is great too, she’s written a Guardians of the Galaxy tie-in novel for Marvel, and she’s got her next book, “The Art of Saving the World” coming out this September, and its soooo good and head-trippy and the premise is so mindfucky that I have no idea how she pulled it off as well as she did and its great and you will love it or you will answer to me (lol no you won’t, I am all talk, I bruise like a peach, don’t doxx me yo). But On The Edge of Gone remains my personal fave of hers, Denise is an in-text disabled autistic black girl and suuuuuuch a fantastic main character, and her love for her family against the backdrop of an apocalypse actually in its on-going stage, no post about it, is like.....unfortunately a little too prophetic in various ways, lolol, but like, timely as hell and resonates. 

Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee

Welcome to Andover, where superpowers are common, but internships are complicated. Just ask high school nobody, Jessica Tran. Despite her heroic lineage, Jess is resigned to a life without superpowers and is merely looking to beef up her college applications when she stumbles upon the perfect (paid!) internship--only it turns out to be for the towns most heinous supervillain. On the upside, she gets to work with her longtime secret crush, Abby, whom Jess thinks may have a secret of her own. Then theres the budding attraction to her fellow intern, the mysterious “M,” who never seems to be in the same place as Abby. But what starts as a fun way to spite her superhero parents takes a sudden and dangerous turn when she uncovers a plot larger than heroes and villains altogether.

I actually met C.B. on tumblr here, via this account, thanks to a mutual mutual, which just goes to show you never know who you might end up meeting on tumblr dot hellsite dot org, and only after that fact did we find out that we had various other mutual friends from our writing/publishing circles of friends, including Cory, lolol, so y’know....small world. But this series has three books out, with a fourth to come, and its such awesome fun, with superpower hijinks galore, an Asian protag and tons of LGBTQ+ supporting characters, trans superheroes, and compelling plots. She’s also writing Ben 10 comics for Boom! Studios, a comic book company that does original content but also publishes a ton of licensed properties like various other cartoons like Ben 10, the Power Rangers, etc, etc. And this reminds me there’s a certain story she was working on the last time we met up for coffee like, lololol probably three years ago now, which means I am way overdue to bug her about it and ask “Is it done yet is it done yet can I read it yet is it done yet” because I am a paragon of patience and a bastion of self-control, obvsly.

Anyway, here endeth the pimping of my friends, go forth and buy ye their novels, verily and such. Or y’know. Don’t. If you don’t want to be cool, I guess. Nerds. (LOL no but if you like my content and posts and topics I think you stand a better than average likelihood of enjoying at least one of the books by the aforementioned ladies, and you’d be supporting LGBTQ+ authors as there’s nary a straight among them. LOL, like I would ever have straight friends, hahahaha could you imagine, what would we even do).  

[dangermousie]

CFC 183

1. XQC going “at last, no distractions, I am now super efficient” is actually profoundly sad. Because of course a machine is more efficient than a human but efficiency should not be the end all and be all, he should not justify his continuing existence like an employee about to be downsized. Being happy is what a human should strive for and it’s one thing if being an alone workaholic with no connections to the human world would make XQC genuinely happy (there are people like that and it’s fine) but we just spent over 180 chapters establishing it’s not the case, that he wants to be loved and he’s got so much damage and that this state he is currently in is not a happy thing for him.

2. XQC being described as being more and more like a machine makes me think of Meatbun’s original scifi concept for CFC where He Yu was an android. It would have been fascinating to see this same dynamic in that setting - where it would be a machine who is much too human and a human trying to become a machine.

3. Wei Rong was in the lab when LZS got infected. I bet she infected her.

4. Also XQC finds out the Hes are neck deep in the org and the little glimpses we get seem to demonstrate HY is very efficient - it looks like he took control from LZS (who I think was in charge of all the illegal stuff, I don’t think HJW knew.)

5. The elderly cop warning XQC about HY and saying people can change power corrupts etc but XQC being unshaken in his belief in HY’s goodness (and he was his greatest victim, if you think about it - HY never harmed another living soul but XQC and he wronged XQC so badly) is just how far we’ve come!!! And Meatbun made me believe it, from chapters where I thought HY was an irredeemable monster to now where I am nodding “of course!” to XQC’s defense of HY.

6. Bwahahah when MTL is genius:

Sexual thinking indeed.

7. When XQC confirms that he KNOWS that HY is not like this but if he thought he was he’d act appropriately - I can totally see Meatbun turning this into a knife later somehow but I do hope it won’t take the form of XQC believing the worst and giving up on HY because we had a lot of that already.

8. Yes!! He figured out LZS is evil! Though he’s thinking she killed Wei Rong and I am thinking she IS Wei Rong. And he’s gonna call He Yu. I am sure that’s gonna go swimmingly. Like a fire at a bomb factory.

9. I was cracking up from the mini theater. It’s like the opposite of the saying that eavesdroppers hear no good of themselves - HY would have been better off eavedropping since it’s the only time XQC praises him.

Not really related to the chapter but I’ve read a lot of interesting discussion on discord as to whether HY realizes XQC loves him after that one passionate night. And my two cents is that he does not, that he thinks it was pity sex or compassion sex or w/e. Because even the most secure and well-adjusted people second guess themselves in love since it’s so emotionally important and we have HY who has (he thinks) never been loved by anyone, not even people who HAVE to love him - his parents (and the fact that he still believes and hopes he can find love if he just gives enough of it and tries hard enough to be more loveable is amazing. In that one regard he’s stronger than XQC who shut that down for himself, who believes he’s only loved for what he can do and be to others not for his essential self. He came closest to believing with HY but even there I think a lot of his acceptance of HY ending it and not thinking further is because at base he believes he’s unworthy of lifelong devotion by anyone so of course it makes sense for HY to choose the company over him.) And there is the fact that XQC has repeatedly tried to push him away, never told him he loved him and in fact repeatedly pushed him away, said HY misread all the cues, said he was like Chen Man blah blah blah. It would take a truly secure narcissist to believe XQC loves him in light of all that. Sure, the sex was mind blowing but they had mind blowing sex before and even sex where XQC took initiative (though not to the degree he did here) and most of those times XQC put his armor back on and pushed him away. (When they are an official couple, I bet it will take a long time for HY to get over fear of the afterwards every time they have sex tbh.) So I think HY thinks XQC cares for him but not in a romantic sense.

[rinrenrina]

Protests and social movements: local news media and you.

This Patriot Act video by Hasan Minhaj is about how important local news is to covering what affects us, especially in light of BLM and antifa protests. Local news media are compiling lists of Black-owned businesses, protest groups that need support, community resources, and documenting/recording perspectives and events. It's also local news media that are breaking stories of national importance like Epstein.

First, a timely article about the Seattle autonomous zone/CHAZ that’s an exact example of what’s going on in the video: local Seattle Times journalists did original reporting [link] and fact-checked some claims (yes, it’s peaceful; no, crimes are not happening; no, local businesses are not being extorted and in fact are doing well; yes, the mayor and governor told Trump to shut up) along with USA Today, which picked up ST’s reporting and added more information [link]. And here’s more original local reporting about armed right-wing groups being dangerous and obnoxious because they boogeyman antifa: [link]. Industry callouts on Fox News for creating and publishing doctored images of CHAZ, which is as ridiculous as it sounds [link].

Ridiculous.

To the point, the video had me thinking about the widespread "Why isn't the media talking about this" or "What the media won't show" messaging that's in nearly every high-note protest/BLM Twitter thread or Tumblr post I’ve seen that are not only often false (Yes, local and national news organizations are reporting that protesters are peaceful [link], cops are abusive+lying to everyone about the content of their body cams [link], and communities are creating resource and hydration centers [link]. No, news media will not ignore you if you keep protesting - the video in this post [link] is from NBC.), but show how much of an information bubble some people live in.

Remember, these are your news orgs, not a government's news orgs. Everyday people are the voices in an article, especially in local and community news.

The same popular posts I see about not trusting Democrats/Biden/liberalism and incrementalism are voiced by several knowledgeable activists in this article, New generation of activists, deeply skeptical of Democratic Party, resists calls to channel energy into the 2020 campaign [WP link | non-paywall MSN link] by Cleve Wootson Jr. [link].

Some pull quotes (but you should check out the article):

“Some people are like I’m . . . done accepting what the Democratic Party has offered us. It’s not getting better,” said Keene, 37. “This current moment is a reflection of the United States’ inability to meet any of the demands black people have put forward. I wish they would stop holding black people responsible for the failures of the Democratic Party. Why aren’t y’all responsible for not giving us a candidate worth voting for?”

Malcolm X warned people that neither Democrats nor Republicans had adequate plans to help black Americans in his “Ballot or the Bullet” speech. And Martin Luther King Jr. called on his followers to not accept political stalling.

“It’s always come down to the question of time,” Delmont said. “Dr. King had so many great sermons or speeches about time and how that group of activists just could not wait. People feel the same way today. You can’t wait for Biden to get elected. You can’t wait four years. We can’t wait on politicians if we want to see these things change.”

These are the same ideas that have floated through the blogosphere, especially here on Tumblr.

That isn't to be an idealist though. There's a lot to complain about in US journalism. At the top editor positions, it's highly staffed by white people, men, cishets, and those with privileged backgrounds. All journalists use news judgement (PBS has information on what news judgement is here: [link]), which in front page design aims to showcase what’s important to know in terms of impact, but deciding "what's important/what will people read" when the decision-making team is homogeneous and privileged leaves valuable voices unheard, entire life experiences unaddressed, and harms marginalized groups.

This is something recognized among journalists: The Inquirer's POC staff had a sick-out and open letter about a now-fired top editor's news article that insensitively riffed on BLM [link], NYT staff and union came out against the now-demoted opinion editor’s publishing of an opinion piece by the Arkansas governor that called for violence against protesters [link], Post-Gazette was publicly criticized by staff, union, and the public when management barred a Black journalist from reporting on protests because she joked about anti-protester hypocrisy [link].

There's a lot of criticism to be had about US journalism, but the "Why isn't the media talking about this" or "What the media won't show" messaging I'm seeing on Tumblr and Twitter is inaccurate because the very things people are saying are not being reported actually are being reported. It's coming from a place of not having the methods to access this information - maybe it’s not visiting non-social media sites to receive the news that affect and reflect you, not understanding that articles of quality take time, not knowing that you can reach out to news orgs and tell them what the news is, and/or not knowing how overwhelmed/source competitive news organizations are.

A read more to not dash stretch. Under the read more is information on how to escape the “Why isn’t the media reporting”/”Why am I only just hearing” information bubble (visit a news site), why the news takes days to be good (imagine writing an original research essay), and tips on avoiding paywalls and on basic journalism.

Receiving the news that affect and reflect you

There's a significant difference between the news you will see on a social media feed (even if you do follow news orgs) and the news you will see by going to any news website. I can write more about it later, but the tl;dr is that the news you see on a social media feed is decided entirely by algorithms, money, and community bubbles, which isn't evil, but causes other important news to be buried on your feeds. Social media are great for fast news and no longer letting only a select few people, who cannot reflect the need-to-knows of everyone, decide what's important. And to better avoid the information bubble, you can combine your social media feeds with news websites so that you can better avoid the "Why am I only just hearing about this" phenomenon and see that yes, the thing you said was never reported on, probably was reported. Yes, the front page curation won’t reflect the need-to-knows or even nice-to-knows of everyone, but the information available is still valuable and impactful - I saw the article on armed right-wingers holding an anti-antifa block party by visiting Seattle Times, Wootson’s article from MSN, the article on cops lying on documents about their body cam recordings from CNN’s front page. By visiting news websites, you may find information and topics that never landed on your feed - which you can now introduce to and improve your social circles with.

Articles of quality take time, aka "People wanted the news five minutes ago"

There's a few tweet threads where someone is shooting video of a currently developing situation, with a caption akin to "Why isn't the media talking about this" ...even though this is something that is currently happening, so of course no one has sat down and made the article or video segment. Especially if they’re waiting on comment from city officials. Tweets are a fast, immediate information delivery method and this is where protesters have an advantage. If you had checked YouTube's front page from the US the past weeks, you may have noticed that the news video article/news livestream section took about two days from the start of the protests to say that the protesters are peaceful and that it's the police that are violent. It's extremely slow compared to a protester's tweet. If you combine the speediness of a protester's tweet with the context/backstory/statement from officials in a news article, your knowledge of what's happening is more thorough. The news article takes time to come out and be worth reading, though.

(Related to the topic of speed and quality is the Mueller Report. It's 450 pages, yet news orgs were writing about it on day one. It was all junk because they were reading from the Trump CliffsNotes in the rush to meet the people-want-to-know-yesterday/first scoop demands so the articles worth any time only started coming out a week after the Report's release. News orgs admitted to their initial reporting being garbage and being led on, but by then readers who don't look at news websites had moved on. The same goes for any protest or breaking news coverage: it's usually junk for the first few days. Sometimes subverted by local news orgs due to their proximity to the events.)

Reach out to news orgs

There's important ground information coming from protesters and observers - first-hand experience with police brutality, police militarization, and just how tired Black Americans are of having to protest for their lives. Among this info are communities' food and hydration resources, example here [link].

"What the media won't show." "These stories need to be told."

Two things that go well together by remembering to tell your local news organizations. And if they show up (you might get the reporting from a desk treatment: adapting a press release (which btw, nonprofits and non-organized groups can write and submit too) to an article), you have their ear: tell them your message. Something every journalist has heard? "Your article is only as good as its sources." You can be the reason that article and news org are good.

The above mostly applies for when you don't want to be a press worker. But another angle is to be your own community's source of news and watchdog. You have access to the exact same information a news organization is privy to (FOIA and PRA), the same protective laws (shield laws, the First Amendment guarantees the right for journalists to work), and being a writer is free to learn and easy to do especially in the time of free blogging and content hosting. As this NPR post [link] put it:

I think I can say that I have some professional credibility as a journalist. I have a master’s degree from a major university, a national Emmy award, work in all forms of media, and am in charge of journalism at Wayne State University in Detroit.

Yet legally, I have the same standing as a journalist as a high school dropout who writes a blog in his grandmother’s basement, and that is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

And if you do start your own community news source, forward the articles you publish to the wider-area news orgs above you. Tying it back to the video: this is how the news works - local news media are important to national discourse.

Here’s some other things that can hopefully be helpful to understanding the essential field that is journalism:

- If you're being paywalled by a local or national newspaper or by a magazine you want to read, check if your library (or a friend who will let you use their library card) already pays for online access either through a website or through an app like Flipster. Or, search the title of the article and see if an another site (such as MSN) offers it free. - Tips: You only need to read the first two-three paragraphs of a news article, but it helps to read the rest. How and when to be an anonymous or on-background source: when you have information no one else has and/or you would face retaliation for speaking. More here: [link]. What differentiates an opinion from an editorial: editorials are the opinion of the editorial board, opinions are written by columnists, officials, and readers. Figure out what type of article you like better: inverted pyramid favors quick reporting (minutes to hours) and fewer facts, feature style favors long-term reporting (weeks to months) and more research, details, and human-focused anecdotes/testimony.

To nitpick the video: local and national broadcast news has more than what’s on TV, they also have a robust web article and web video article presence. For example, NBC’s article about BLM NY members’ and other activist groups in NY’s social justice and policy goals (and an app that creates digital models of Black and brown heroes of history to educate!). [NBC link | MSN link]

[lostinthewiind]

Can we get uuhhhhh some Dick Winters smut pls

we uuhhhhh…most certainly can :) It’s about GOD DAMN time I wrote some Winters smut. 

Warnings: ***SEXY TIME***

Tag List: @warmommy @gottapenny @croatianbagudna @scissorsfordoc @wexhappyxfew @curraheev @mayhem24-7forever @one-who-hunts-eagles @bandofmarvels @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @wildwilliamguarnere @majwinters @theonetryingtolive @higgles123 @those-dusty-jump-wings @medievalfangirl @maiden-of-gondor @whoabrekker @thefricklefracklesin @junojelli @iamaboojum @bandofgays

Other Ways

Knocking on the office door before you, you nervously shifted your weight from one foot to the other. It wasn’t that you were necessarily scared of Lieutenant Winters — because on every occasion you had interacted with him, he was always kind and polite. It was more the fact that you hadn’t been expecting to be called into his office and had no idea what the following meeting was pertaining to.

It was sort of like being called to the principle’s office when you’re a good kid; you know you didn’t do anything wrong, but you’re still worried about what’s going to happen.

Before you could get too inside of your own head, however, there was a faint “Come in,” from the other side of the door. 

Twisting the door handle with your slightly sweaty palm, you stepped into the dimly lit office and made sure to shut the door behind yourself afterward; if Winters was going to yell at you, you didn’t want anyone else to hear.

“Sir?” you planted yourself firmly in front of Winters’ desk, keenly aware that he hadn’t so much as looked up from the papers in front of him since you had entered. “You asked to see me.”

“That I did.” Winters nodded slowly, his eyes still glued to the page in his hand for a few seconds longer before he finally tossed the parchment onto his desk along with the many others and sat back in his chair, his fingers pressing firmly into his temples to alleviate the tension. “I wanted to…um…talk to you about…”

You watched as Winters searched his mind for the reason for calling you into his office that evening, but after about a minute of nothing, he let out a groan. “You know what? I’ve completely forgotten,” he admitted, a slight grimace playing at the corners of his mouth, the creases there resembling the ones around his eyes that signified just how stressed and tired he was. 

“Oh.” you weren’t sure what to say or do. “Do you want me to stay while you try to remember or…should I go?”

Sitting forward once more, his left hand reaching for a half-full cup of coffee that, by that point, was only luke-warm, Winters gestured toward the door. “You might as well go.” he sighed. “I’m sure if it were really important I would have remembered. It’s just…oh, nevermind. It’s unprofessional of me to gripe about my problems to a subordinate.”

“It’s just Captain Sobel, sir?” you ventured a guess as to the origin of his current frustration and exhaustion. 

With slightly blood-shot eyes, Winters looks up at you and chortled. “Yes, private Y/L/N. It is Captain Sobel.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better,” you leaned in slightly and lowered your voice. “everyone else hates him just as much as you do.”

Winters waved his hand at you in dismissal of your comment. “I don’t hate-” he cut himself off in a moment of realization. “Yeah, actually, I do hate him, but don’t tell anyone I said that; I’ll deny it anyway.”

You chuckled a little. “I won’t, sir. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Good.” he actually smiled before standing up and making his way over to the small coffee maker in the corner of his small office. “Can I get you some coffee?” he offered. 

“I’m okay, sir, thank you.” you politely declined, knowing that if you drank any caffeine that late at night you would never get to sleep, which in turn would fuck you over for the following day of training. 

Giving a curt nod, Winters turned and started making himself a fresh cup. “I know it’s not the best for me, but this is the only way I know how to deal with the stress right now. Caffeinate and push through, despite the fact that I don’t think I’ve slept in two days.” 

“If you don’t mind me asking, sir, what exactly is it that you’re doing?” your eyes drifted over the many files and stacks of paper atop his desk. 

“I’m re-checking supply orders.” Winters huffed as he leaned against the counter. “Captain Sobel made a change in the supply order and now I have to go through about ten stacks of item lists to find the one change so it can be documented.” 

Picking up a slip of paper, you lazily trailed your eyes over the items listed and scoffed. “Well, good luck with that, sir.”

“Thank you.”

“My favourite thing to do when I’m stressed is take a long, hot bath and just forget about all of my troubles for an hour or so,” you told him, unsure of why you were still in his office at all. “Of course, I can’t do that anymore, so now I jump imagine I’m in a hot bath. Doesn’t work quite the same but it gets the job done.”

“Interesting method.” Winters poured the steaming hot, fresh coffee into his cup before stalking back over to his desk. “Have any other suggestions?”

You thought for a moment. “Well, there are the obvious ones, like taking a walk, clearing your head, doing something else for a little while…getting some sleep.” you cocked an eyebrow at him while you mentioned the last suggestion. “And then, of course, there are other ways…”

Winters perked up at your vague mention of ‘other ways.’ “What do you mean by that, private Y/L/N?”

You could feel the warmth rising in your cheeks and you were sure you had turned a brilliant shade of pale red. “I don’t suppose it’s very professional for me to say, sir.” you tried to get out of having to voice your dirty thoughts, but when all he did was continue to stare at you, you felt compelled. “Oh, you know…sex.”

Silence filled the office, the tension in the air so thick that you swore you were having trouble breathing. Winters continued to look at you, his eyes trailing over your body as he leaned back in his chair. At that moment, you severely regretted speaking at all in the first place.

You were sure Winters was going to write you up for speaking so inappropriately in his presence, but what he did instead was much more shocking. “Do you use that method regularly?” he asked, his legs spreading slightly as he eyed you up some more. 

You were surprised by the question, there was no doubt about that. Winters always seemed like such a play-it-by-the-book sort of man who would never even dare to step out of line, so this new side of him — this suggestive side — really caught you off guard. 

“Sir?” you swallowed hard, your back straightening with nerves as you stood at attention before him. 

“Private.” his eyes finally left your body for a split second. “Lock the door.”

Without another word, you turned on your heel and did as the Lieutenant asked. As soon as the click of the lock echoed through the room, you could hear the sound of a belt being undone behind you. You froze in place for a second, almost scared to turn around and confront what you were sure was waiting for you. 

“Sir,” your words were soft and unassuming, your back still facing Winters. “Are we going to have sex?”

“No, private.” you could feel Winters’ breath on the back of your neck as he planted his hands on your hips and pressed himself into your ass. “I’m going to fuck you.”

Your breathing hitched as your hands pressed into the wood of the door to steady yourself. You couldn’t think of anything to say, so instead, you just remained silent and enjoyed the feeling of want between your legs. 

Hiking up your army issued, knee-length skirt around your waist, Winters pushed himself up against you even harder, one of his hands moving up to brush some hair away from your neck so he could kiss and nibble on the skin there. 

As his kisses sent shivers up and down your spine, Winters clamped his hand firmly over your mouth. “Just in case,” he whispered as he pushed your underwear to the side and ran two fingers along the length of your folds. Your knees nearly buckled right there and then, but before you had a chance to melt on the spot, Winters entered you from behind, the new wave of pleasure taking over your entire body. 

You wanted to moan out so badly but the hand over your mouth was preventing you from making any audible noises, so you were forced to rely on body language to communicate your enjoyment. Arching your back, you rested your head on Winters’ shoulder and looked up at him the best you could, your eyes saying all the words your mouth couldn’t.

“Desk.” was all he said next before grabbing you and pushing you in the direction of his desk. With one single, fluid motion, he swiped all the papers from the wooden desktop before bending you over it. “This is much better.”

Now that both of his hands were grabbing at your hips and ass and weren’t preventing you from speaking, you took the opportunity to voice your pleasure. “Please, sir, fuck me harder.” you practically begged. “Take out all your frustration and stress on me.”

Winters didn’t say anything in response, but when he began pounding into you at an alarming rate over and over again, you were sure he had heard you. For a split second, you began to overthink about the fact that you were bent over your Lieutenant’s desk with his cock buried deep inside of you, but before you could worry too much, he lifted one of your legs up onto the desk as well, allowing him to penetrate you even deeper than you thought possible. 

“Oh, God!” you unintentionally screamed out, but thankfully, Winters was too wrapped up in his own pleasure to reprimand you. 

With your mouth hung open like a fish out of water, your eyes began to roll back in your head as you approached the promised land of euphoria. “Shhh.” Winters reminded you as he leaned over the top of you and snaked one arm around your stomach. “Cum for me without making a sound.” he suddenly remembered his unspoken rule about being silent. 

“I don’t think I can,” you confessed as your orgasm began and you felt the scream start to work its way up your throat. 

“Make a peep and I’ll make you pick up all these goddamn supply lists and go through them yourself.” 

Hearing the urgency in his voice pushed you into a state verbal paralysis, and as your orgasm rocked through your body, you somehow remained completely silent, as per his request. 

Not long after you came, Winters unraveled as well, his body dropping onto yours as he caught his breath. “You were right.” he breathed out, the stress and exhaustion no longer audible in his voice. “That method does work.”

“Glad I could be of assistance.” you cracked a smile as you straightened up and pulled your skirt back down. “By the way, sir, did you remember what you wanted to talk to me about yet?”

Winters shook his head as he buckled his belt again. “No, but be assured, private, as soon as I do, I’ll ask to see you again ASAP.”