#<- user error
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>block 'gif' and 'gifset' tags
>go to dash
>see gifset
>tumblr slows to an almost unusable speed
>attempt to make a post about it
>wait two minutes for tumblr to let me type
#phone or pc gifsets make tumblr lag so fucking bad#borderline unusable at times#and sometimes on mobile it wont let me scroll if I'm touching the gifset so i have to just hope its short enough that the momentum from the#first swipe carries me through#finn says shit#tumblr fuckery#<- user error#please tag your posts properly#also the lag's not even the worst of it. if Im already vulnerable seeing gifsets can make me sick. and franticly trying to scroll past makes#it worse
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Okay I have been trying to sleep for an hour but can't so I think i have to name this and since tumblr is my public journal I'm doing it here.
Went to hardware store with caregiver today.
Got paint for living room. To get paint need to have person mix the color. Person was clearly queer and noticed me and caregiver as queer as well, had the "i see I'm among family" type interaction, was lovely
But
During the like. 10 minutes. They did not pay attention to a single thing i said (using AAC obviously). They talked a lot to my caregiver. But. They sure weren't talking to me or acknowledging or responding to a single thing I said even when I thanked them at the end.
And. It sucks that queer moments are ruined by ableism. I still am happy to see someone out and about being queer and having that lovely interaction
But I'd honestly rather interact with a cis-straight person who is communicating with me, than an lgbtqia+/queer person who isn't acknowledging my communication. Like. That's not even a question.
So.
I'm sad, I guess. That's what I have to say. I wish the interaction could have just been good, and not have such a sour center.
I am going to try to allow for the possibility that they just did not hear my AAC. It's possible I guess. It wasn't loud enough that I needed earplugs tho and that is usually the measure of if someone within 3 feet can hear my device at loudest volume! But some people are hard of hearing. So. Trying to give benefit of doubt since it had multiple sounds happening.
(But honestly like. If a person can hear what my caregiver is saying they should be able to hear what my device is saying at same range. They were not speaking loudly! We were so close! The store was was quieter than normal! I wasn't wearing earplugs in a public building that's how quiet!!! (I needed them in parking lot and every store ever more of the time!))
And also this kinda thing happens all the time which is why I am more jumping to sad.
It sucks being ignored.
It sucks not being able to speak.
It sucks not being able to partake in normal conversation when I want to!!!!
Everyone learn your local sign language and stop being a dick to people who you view as developmentally or otherwise mentally disabled!! We are still people and have thoughts!! Stop being a dick to people who can't speak. Be patient when someone is using AAC of any sort (speech device, letterboard, communication cards, gestures, etc). Make the effort to communicate with us.
#okay hopefully can sleep now.#ok to reblog if you want because this is common thing ljke. almost every time i leave the house at least 1 perosn i interact with does this#type of thing#it's exhausting.#would link Mel Baggs āUnpersonā essay here but. no spoons.#hate being Unpersoned.#ableism#semiverbal#[i'm not nonverbal but i have 0 speech in puclic or with most people]#aac blogging#aac user#isaacfloofs talk#sorry for any errors or nonsense i am beyond tired just needed to share
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ARNAS FEDARAVIÄIUS as VALENTIN THE WHITE LOTUS (2021 - ), dir. MIKE WHITE 3x01 "Same Spirits, New Forms"
#arnas fedaraviÄius#arnas fedaravicius#valentin#twl valentin#the white lotus#twl#3x01#the white lotus spoilers#twl spoilers#thewhitelotusedits#twledits#federaversegifs#federaverseedits#filmtvtoday#filmtvcentral#tvedit#tvarchive#hboedits#maxedits#user winter#thenameswintergifs#have I downloaded one hour of episode just for his three minutes of screentime? yes#was it worthy? absolutely yes#I'm so amazed how crisp he turned out I almost forgot the errors I did while colouring the background#but anyways... no one will know
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Tumblr users stop making serious American politics about Ao3 challenge
#spitblaze says things#average tumblr user cares very much abt american politics actually a statistical error#ao3 georg who lives in a cave and whose obly reference point to the entire rest of the world is fandom#is an outlier adn should not be counted
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trying to think of a reason [ERROR] is so possessive of the OIAR crew and my current theory is that since the Archives are gone, this thing that might be a remnant of the other universe's Beholding is searching for something else to be the seat of the Beholding's power and took notice of the OIAR because Sam and Alice are the ones that released it (however unknowingly). The OIAR is not only doing something very similar to the Archives, but also clearly has SOMETHING akin to the Beholding attached to it with all the recordings we're hearing and the use of Jon, Martin and (possibly) Jonah's voices. So TLDR I think [ERROR] looked at the OIAR, said "close enough", and claimed everyone there. Anyway I think the tape recorders should bite more people
#rot.txt#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp theory#tmagp spoilers#i know a lot of people are thinking or hoping that error is jon but i really dont think it is#it just seems unlikely to me. idk. i have my own theories about what error is exactly but thats not what this post is about#actually i will say it. i think error is either one of the other archivists from season 5 OR all of them combined#but im open to whatever else it turns out to be. i really like error so far im just excited its here#ALSO i know error is probably not a canonical it/its user but i can dream okay. this thing's just like me fr
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urghhhh i just finished this very cute cowl i was knitting, and bound off using the bind-off they recommended as being nicely elastic (sewn bind-off; p2 on the needle, k1 off the needle). instead, itās just loose, and the top edge has kind of mushroomed as a result:

iām going to have to rip it out and redo it (including probably doing back a row or three of ribbing because the yarn will be messed up). blergh.
anyone got any idea for good elastic bind-offs that are actually elastic, rather than just Loose?
#and/or advice on how to do that sewn bind off properly if this is user error#knitting#knitblr#maker knits
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you love bugs, horror, monsters, animation and cryptids - the bear trap has already got you kind stranger ššš good luck with your new infatuation!! :3c
GRAAAGGHH NO STOP IT I HAVE BUGS IN MY BRAIN GET THEM OUT!!!!
#omg hi tumblr user starleska#believe it or not i used to only like king candy in his cybug form#i had to be convinced into seeing the appeal for regular king candy (dont worry ive seen the errors of my ways i heart silly guys now)#but now that im waist deep in my king candy obsession i fear that the other bug is gonna crawl his way in#im just embarrassed at how predictable i am#ask#my art#lux imperator#mr ring a ding#king candy#king candybug#dr who#wreck it ralph#wir
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My mothman hair clip from @shopwitchvamp arrived! Itās so darn cute, even when I just put it in my hair by feel and didnāt use a mirror to see what I was doing so one of his antennae is a little covered by hair, but thatās okay lol
#I didnāt quite manage to get the hair out of my face with this but thatās user error lol#the clip could definitely hold the hair I just was not using a mirror#and trying to get mothman in my hair quickly because my mom wanted to see what it looked like#also: my mom consistently forgets mothman is a thing so when she saw it#she said thatās the guy you like! not batmanā¦what is his nameā¦.
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slamming my head into the table about them actually
#my art#toastdoodles#revue starlight#revue starlight fanart#rev star#hoshimi junna#daiba nana#junnana#i think they should blow up (affectionate)#just got my hands on a watercolor brush and decided to sketch junnanas about it#yea its messy but like i think theyre cute like that#clean lineart is overrated i just wanna smack color on things and laugh maniacally#im not sure i like how much the brush dulls the colors i use but i think thats user error more than the brush tbh#i just gotta get used to it#anywho#i feel like i should actually play u//ndertale#censored only because i dont want it to clutter the tags over there#but yeah i never got on the train as a middle schooler so i have yet to play u//ndertale or d//eltarune#tag ramblings are fun yippie
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I want you to tell me the truth in person, or I'll burn your mouth with chilies!
AI DI, our å°č¾£ę¤ (little chili padi)ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ļøš KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Bonus: Cayenne Auto Shop
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userrain#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#HE'S LITERALLY SO IMPORTANT TO ME IF YOU EVEN CARE!!!!!!!!!#user nikkotinamide called him xiĒo lĆ jiÄo first and i was like. ok im stealing that#also one of these days i will post a gifset without any spelling errors on the first try and then youll all be sorry
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Some mostly Dreamswap themed doodles ft. some vaguely vampiric afterdeath



#Killer with a letterman and Horror with a welding mask are my self indulgent design choices of the day#Error and Nightmare's convo is that one post where Loki makes fun of Odin for being a magic user#oooOoOooo like im scared of the WIZARD#dreamswap#dreamswap nightmare#nightmare sans#dreamswap error#swap!nightmare#nightmare!sans#should I or should I not keep using the exclamation points...#my art#his fingers are Too Fucking Long but I'm not changing it#utmv
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@lgbtqcreators event 15 ā lgbtq+ around the word + creator challenge ā layout and typography
#heartstopper#heartstopperedit#wlwedit#wlwgif#wlwsource#dailylgbtq#dailynetflix#dailytvwomen#tvedit#usersmia#userives#arthurpendragonns#userbecca#usernorah#userng#**l.myeditss#*gfx#ignore the numerous errors and poor executions
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personal hc that hush can change his form at will, so each time he visits doc, he looks just slightly Off. but they cant really tell why. maybe its the lighting? well hush has definitely grown an inch or two since they met him, but maybe thats not concerning enough for them to notice. however, the two differing eye colors are new- could just be contacts tho, right?
they couldnt really tell you (or care that much, doc is tired) why hush is different now. all they know is something seems... Strange.
#i dont think we talk enough about how scary certain magic users in the redactedverse are.#no like. cant illusories project an image over a university or something thats indistinguishable from reality?#and the fact that daemons can technically shapeshift#dreamwalkers can send people to eternal sleep hell apparently. sorry avior#telepaths. listen. love the telepaths we have#but we cant pretend there arent dangers to telepathy.#strong enough earth elementals can shake the earth.#like. like are you hEARING ME??#and now we have Hush. whatever that little freak (/pos) is#and we dont understand the capabilities or limits of his magic yet. we know hes incredibly strong#for fucks sake he killed vega.#and rearranged his brain.#how doc hasnt gone to grippy sock jail at this point is beyond me truly /hj#redacted audio#redacted asmr#error: no identity#redactedverse#redacted hush#redacted doc
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this is the most incompetent bs i've ever seen in my life. Amazon as a website is built with cardboard and tape on every level.
#if u need INSTRUCTIONS to the user to bypass an error you know about#that's a failure brother#moss.txt
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In middle school, I read a short story for English class called Flowers for Algernon. Maybe youāve read it, too. In the story, a disabled man named Charlie is given a medicine that cures his disability. Over the course of the story, he comes to realize that his ācureā is temporary and that he will āregressā into being disabled again. The story makes it clear that this is a tragedy. As a disabled teenager when I first read it, the story affected me deeply.
Iād like to talk about David and Noelle.Ā
Content warnings for discussion of suicide, self-harm, ableism and eating disorders below the cut. Spoilers for Worm through arc 27.Ā
When I was first reading arc 18, one of the things that stuck out to me is how much time the story spends on Eidolon. For me, it was the first time I paid much attention to him - prior to that, Eidolon was just an extremely powerful background character to me. But in arc 18, we learn that (1) Eidolon is losing his powers and (2) he believes that fighting Echidna will allow him to tap into some sort of reservoir to bring them back.
We find this out, of course, through Tattletale exposing him, which is always an extremely embarrassing event for Tattletaleās target. It makes it extremely clear that what Eidolon is doing is pathetic. He is going to kill a teenage girl so he can feel something.Ā
Which would be messed up enough, right? We donāt need to make this even worse, right? Wrong. Because Wildblow has spent the last several thousand words building up the Case 53s as X-Men style metaphors for oppressed groups, and one of the forms of oppression that Wildblow generally writes well is ableism. I think you can consider most, if not all of the Case 53s as disabled in some way. I think the link is extremely clear with Noelle.
Noelle doesnāt get her powers from traditional Cauldron human experimentation - at least, not directly. Instead, she and Krouse are facing what is, to them, a no-win scenario. Theyāre quarantined with limited access to medical care. Breaching this quarantine would permanently render them criminals. If Noelle survives her surgery, which is a pretty big if, sheāll become disabled, in a way that both Krouse and Noelle agree is ugly and undesirable. She wonāt be able to do āboyfriend-girlfriend stuffā because she wonāt be āany good to look at, after.āĀ
Krouse and Noelle are terrified of death, yes, but theyāre also terrified of disability. They are desperate for control over Noelleās body, control that, as of that moment, only the state has. (Remember the quarantine?) Krouse pressures Noelle into drinking the vial. Noelle is cured.Ā
Noelleās cure does not last. In attempting to assert control, her body becomes uncontrollable. Her body is her trauma and her eating disorder made literal. She still needs care.
Worm would be bad if this is why her life sucks. But Worm does something better, instead. Noelle goes through hell, not just due to the sheer difficulty of having her power, but because of the way her teammates and Coil treat her. They talk about Noelle like sheās already dead. Theyāre ashamed of bringing her the food she needs. When Krouse āincludesā Noelle in a discussion in arc 12, itās mostly perfunctory. They do not believe Noelle is human any longer. They lock her away.
Noelle doesnāt want to be put in a cage. Noelle doesnāt want to be dehumanized. In interlude 18, when we get insight into Noelleās thoughts, we learn that what Noelle is angry about is the fact that Krouse locked her in a concrete bunker and placated her. When she tells people not to look at her, thereās a coda to that sentence that she doesnāt get to verbalize: donāt look at me like that.Ā
This is the person who Eidolon is going to kill.Ā
Via the Simurgh, this is a person Eidolon has unknowingly created.
A few thousand words of Worm go by. Itās Gold Morning. Eidolon is fighting Scion. Now, at the end of the book, we finally get substantial insight into David, the man behind the mask.Ā
David takes a Cauldron vial to cure his disability. David sees this as the only way out, after an unsuccessful application to join the military, and then, an unsuccessful suicide attempt. David is bearing an immense amount of shame and internalized ableism. David is worried that fatherās friends are watching him. (Donāt look at me.) David cleaves the world into two kinds of people: those who can have jobs, who are liked and respected because they are useful; and people like him, who are useless.
Itās a terrible way to think. Without that worldview, how could a person not take the vial? David wants to be used, because David wants to be useful. He never gets the independence he craves ā not when heās in that level of debt to Cauldron ā but he gets to be useful, and thatās one of the best things you can be.
Like Noelleās, like Charlieās in Flowers, Davidās cure doesnāt work. His abilities are wearing off. He is essentially told, when Doctor Mother administers his booster shots, that his medicine is too expensive.Ā
Cauldron creates Noelle. David, as Cauldronās soldier, has a role to play in her creation. David knows exactly what he is doing to Noelle. It happened to him. Worm fandom talks a lot about David being a father. Heās a father in more ways than one. (Davidās father is always watching him.) (Donāt look at me.)
Cauldron never cures Davidās ableism. In his world, you can be useful, or you can die. David asks Noelle if she wants to win. Noelle tells him no. You can have a job, or you can kill yourself. When David tries to kill Noelle to help himself, isnāt that a mercy?
Of course it isnāt. It goes without saying that all of this is extremely fucked up. When it comes to disability, ācureā is a complicated concept. Iām not going to get into all the ways it can be treated; this post is already a thousand words long. But I do think that Worm, through Noelle and David and the concept of the Cauldron vial, provides an extremely vivid picture of the problems with cure.Ā
Under ableist logic, when you have a disability, a cure is something youāre expected to want. Without it, the story goes, you canāt be useful. You canāt do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. The expectation is social, like the act of staring. Your desire for it should drive how you organize your life ā it is control, like a quarantine. David is crushed by that expectation. He throws his lot in with Cauldron, the cure-makers. The expectation is passed along to Noelle, and even though David can recognize that inheritance, he cannot imagine any other way to respond to it other than attempted murder.
At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that Flowers for Algernon is a tragedy. The reason that story has stuck with me so long is that I keep going back and forth as to why. Is it a tragedy because Charlie goes back to being disabled? Thereās a good chance thatās what the author intended. I donāt know. It would be a pretty shitty story if that were the case. Is it a tragedy because people only treat Charlie well when heās ācured,ā and when that stops, heāll go back to abuse? Seems plausible. I donāt think thereās one right answer. Regardless, when youāre disabled, thereās an immense pressure to seek out a cure, and a cognizable loss when it is withheld. The fact that Worm captures that social pressure and social loss so well is extremely compelling for me, and Iām going to be thinking about these characters for a long time.
#worm#parahumans#wormblr#eidolon#noelle meinhardt#any errors or omissions in this post are due to me reading interlude 27 like 3 hours ago#shoutout to tumblr user artbyblastweave for writing excellent eidolon meta that inspired this one#i would also give a shoutout to my friend who convinced me to read worm but i already shout at her enough. enjoy. thanks for the worms
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ignore every little detail u dislike i got tired
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