#<- user error

[dont-open-dead-inside-25]

>block 'gif' and 'gifset' tags

>go to dash

>see gifset

>tumblr slows to an almost unusable speed

>attempt to make a post about it

>wait two minutes for tumblr to let me type

[newspecies]

trying to think of a reason [ERROR] is so possessive of the OIAR crew and my current theory is that since the Archives are gone, this thing that might be a remnant of the other universe's Beholding is searching for something else to be the seat of the Beholding's power and took notice of the OIAR because Sam and Alice are the ones that released it (however unknowingly). The OIAR is not only doing something very similar to the Archives, but also clearly has SOMETHING akin to the Beholding attached to it with all the recordings we're hearing and the use of Jon, Martin and (possibly) Jonah's voices. So TLDR I think [ERROR] looked at the OIAR, said "close enough", and claimed everyone there. Anyway I think the tape recorders should bite more people

[casualavocados]

I want you to tell me the truth in person, or I'll burn your mouth with chilies!

AI DI, our 小辣椒 (little chili padi)🌶️🎉 KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Bonus: Cayenne Auto Shop

[kitconnor]

@lgbtqcreators event 15 — lgbtq+ around the word + creator challenge — layout and typography

[secretagentsloveblogs]

personal hc that hush can change his form at will, so each time he visits doc, he looks just slightly Off. but they cant really tell why. maybe its the lighting? well hush has definitely grown an inch or two since they met him, but maybe thats not concerning enough for them to notice. however, the two differing eye colors are new- could just be contacts tho, right?

they couldnt really tell you (or care that much, doc is tired) why hush is different now. all they know is something seems... Strange.

[mossspond]

this is the most incompetent bs i've ever seen in my life. Amazon as a website is built with cardboard and tape on every level.

[oofouchstovehot]

Some mostly Dreamswap themed doodles ft. some vaguely vampiric afterdeath

[operator-report]

In middle school, I read a short story for English class called Flowers for Algernon. Maybe you’ve read it, too. In the story, a disabled man named Charlie is given a medicine that cures his disability. Over the course of the story, he comes to realize that his “cure” is temporary and that he will “regress” into being disabled again. The story makes it clear that this is a tragedy. As a disabled teenager when I first read it, the story affected me deeply.

I’d like to talk about David and Noelle. 

Content warnings for discussion of suicide, self-harm, ableism and eating disorders below the cut. Spoilers for Worm through arc 27. 

When I was first reading arc 18, one of the things that stuck out to me is how much time the story spends on Eidolon. For me, it was the first time I paid much attention to him - prior to that, Eidolon was just an extremely powerful background character to me. But in arc 18, we learn that (1) Eidolon is losing his powers and (2) he believes that fighting Echidna will allow him to tap into some sort of reservoir to bring them back.

We find this out, of course, through Tattletale exposing him, which is always an extremely embarrassing event for Tattletale’s target. It makes it extremely clear that what Eidolon is doing is pathetic. He is going to kill a teenage girl so he can feel something. 

Which would be messed up enough, right? We don’t need to make this even worse, right? Wrong. Because Wildblow has spent the last several thousand words building up the Case 53s as X-Men style metaphors for oppressed groups, and one of the forms of oppression that Wildblow generally writes well is ableism. I think you can consider most, if not all of the Case 53s as disabled in some way. I think the link is extremely clear with Noelle.

Noelle doesn’t get her powers from traditional Cauldron human experimentation - at least, not directly. Instead, she and Krouse are facing what is, to them, a no-win scenario. They’re quarantined with limited access to medical care. Breaching this quarantine would permanently render them criminals. If Noelle survives her surgery, which is a pretty big if, she’ll become disabled, in a way that both Krouse and Noelle agree is ugly and undesirable. She won’t be able to do “boyfriend-girlfriend stuff” because she won’t be “any good to look at, after.” 

Krouse and Noelle are terrified of death, yes, but they’re also terrified of disability. They are desperate for control over Noelle’s body, control that, as of that moment, only the state has. (Remember the quarantine?) Krouse pressures Noelle into drinking the vial. Noelle is cured. 

Noelle’s cure does not last. In attempting to assert control, her body becomes uncontrollable. Her body is her trauma and her eating disorder made literal. She still needs care.

Worm would be bad if this is why her life sucks. But Worm does something better, instead. Noelle goes through hell, not just due to the sheer difficulty of having her power, but because of the way her teammates and Coil treat her. They talk about Noelle like she’s already dead. They’re ashamed of bringing her the food she needs. When Krouse “includes” Noelle in a discussion in arc 12, it’s mostly perfunctory. They do not believe Noelle is human any longer. They lock her away.

Noelle doesn’t want to be put in a cage. Noelle doesn’t want to be dehumanized. In interlude 18, when we get insight into Noelle’s thoughts, we learn that what Noelle is angry about is the fact that Krouse locked her in a concrete bunker and placated her. When she tells people not to look at her, there’s a coda to that sentence that she doesn’t get to verbalize: don’t look at me like that. 

This is the person who Eidolon is going to kill. 

Via the Simurgh, this is a person Eidolon has unknowingly created.

A few thousand words of Worm go by. It’s Gold Morning. Eidolon is fighting Scion. Now, at the end of the book, we finally get substantial insight into David, the man behind the mask. 

David takes a Cauldron vial to cure his disability. David sees this as the only way out, after an unsuccessful application to join the military, and then, an unsuccessful suicide attempt. David is bearing an immense amount of shame and internalized ableism. David is worried that father’s friends are watching him. (Don’t look at me.) David cleaves the world into two kinds of people: those who can have jobs, who are liked and respected because they are useful; and people like him, who are useless.

It’s a terrible way to think. Without that worldview, how could a person not take the vial? David wants to be used, because David wants to be useful. He never gets the independence he craves – not when he’s in that level of debt to Cauldron – but he gets to be useful, and that’s one of the best things you can be.

Like Noelle’s, like Charlie’s in Flowers, David’s cure doesn’t work. His abilities are wearing off. He is essentially told, when Doctor Mother administers his booster shots, that his medicine is too expensive. 

Cauldron creates Noelle. David, as Cauldron’s soldier, has a role to play in her creation. David knows exactly what he is doing to Noelle. It happened to him. Worm fandom talks a lot about David being a father. He’s a father in more ways than one. (David’s father is always watching him.) (Don’t look at me.)

Cauldron never cures David’s ableism. In his world, you can be useful, or you can die. David asks Noelle if she wants to win. Noelle tells him no. You can have a job, or you can kill yourself. When David tries to kill Noelle to help himself, isn’t that a mercy?

Of course it isn’t. It goes without saying that all of this is extremely fucked up. When it comes to disability, “cure” is a complicated concept. I’m not going to get into all the ways it can be treated; this post is already a thousand words long. But I do think that Worm, through Noelle and David and the concept of the Cauldron vial, provides an extremely vivid picture of the problems with cure. 

Under ableist logic, when you have a disability, a cure is something you’re expected to want. Without it, the story goes, you can’t be useful. You can’t do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. The expectation is social, like the act of staring. Your desire for it should drive how you organize your life – it is control, like a quarantine. David is crushed by that expectation. He throws his lot in with Cauldron, the cure-makers. The expectation is passed along to Noelle, and even though David can recognize that inheritance, he cannot imagine any other way to respond to it other than attempted murder.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that Flowers for Algernon is a tragedy. The reason that story has stuck with me so long is that I keep going back and forth as to why. Is it a tragedy because Charlie goes back to being disabled? There’s a good chance that’s what the author intended. I don’t know. It would be a pretty shitty story if that were the case. Is it a tragedy because people only treat Charlie well when he’s “cured,” and when that stops, he’ll go back to abuse? Seems plausible. I don’t think there’s one right answer. Regardless, when you’re disabled, there’s an immense pressure to seek out a cure, and a cognizable loss when it is withheld. The fact that Worm captures that social pressure and social loss so well is extremely compelling for me, and I’m going to be thinking about these characters for a long time.

[chemicalarospec]

you can boop the cat!!!

update:

Edit 2: sadly only on desktop 😿

[xoxoemynn]

I came up with the idea for today's love fest over the weekend when I saw a lot of comments from people expressing sadness about the cancellation, and then also some embarrassment for feeling that way, or feeling alone in their emotions. I wanted to do something positive that felt personal and that would remind people that fandom isn't going anywhere.

Originally I thought to do it a few days after the WJW with DJenks, figuring we'd need another boost after that high wore off. Obviously the WJW didn't end up happening, but then I realized it was Rhys' birthday today, so that also felt like a great reason to spread a bit of love (not that you ever need a reason for that!).

And honestly, while the whole point was to make other people smile, the whole experience really boosted my own spirits tremendously. While stalking perusing everyone's blogs for inspo, I was reminded quite powerfully just how many extremely kind, talented, smart, funny, insightful, beautiful people there are in this fandom.

So I just want to say thank you. All of you who create gifs, make art, write fic, analyze the show, share shit posts, or reblog all of the above so we can see it again and again and again, you have made a difference in my fandom experience. With every post, you made me fall in love with Ed and Stede and the whole crew just a little bit more. Whether you're someone who's always in the tags or someone who prefers to quietly reblog, you have made my time here very special and I'm so grateful. 💕

[amaranthdahlia]

so that ichinii school rivals au

[seabeck]

"dull knives aren't safe they're more dangerous than a sharp knife!"

tell that to my now 5+ scars from ultra sharp fillet knives

[kas-eddie-munson]

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3

~~~

Max woke up.

He heard through the grapevine there was a flurry to go visit her in the hospital, but that she was mostly just sleeping.

“She still has the breathing tube in, so she can’t talk yet, but Lucas has been reading her this new comic -”

One of the nice things about talking to Dustin is he didn’t have to say much.  The kid could go on for hours if you let him.

And he often did.

Wayne asked if he wanted a ride up to visit, and he declined.  He knew the first couple days were gonna be tiring.

It was in a week or two that people would peter out.  Especially since the school year started, he was sure the kids won’t have as much time to visit as they’d like.  He’ll go then, with Steve, so Wayne won’t have to miss work.

~~~

After physical therapy one thursday, Eddie asked Steve if he wanted to come in and hang out.  Steve made a couple sandwiches and they ate in front of the TV, Eddie in Wayne's recliner so he could put his feet up.  He asked about his week, Robin, new videos out recently.  A bit about Max.

“Has her mom been to visit?”

He could tell by the look on Steve’s face she had not.

They went back to watching TV.

On Thanksgiving, he and Steve headed to the hospital.  He tried to push down the bile rising in his stomach at the familiar smell when they went through the front door.  He just let Steve lead the way to her room, folded paper bag in hand.

She had a single room, sizable.  A big window on one wall.  She was staring out it when they knocked.  Her eyes were red, cheeks wet, a distance in her expression that hurt deep in his chest.  Neither mentioned it when she wiped her cheeks on the back of her hand and they said hellos.

She didn’t have a breathing tube anymore, just a cannula and feeding tube.  She didn’t talk much, her throat sore, but Steve pulled up a chair and the three of them caught up.  She wasn’t eating solid foods yet, but Steve talked to her doctor the other day apparently, who had given the OK for chicken broth and cranberry sauce.

So the three of them ate that together.

He didn’t ask where the kids were.  They had their own families.  Hell, Steve had to get home by seven.

(Eddie and Wayne had “dinner” together that morning before he left for work.)

He didn’t ask where her mom was either.

Eddie was in the hospital for the Fourth of July.  And as much disdain as he had for Reagan and co., there was something sadder about being there by himself that day than most.  He never even did much of anything for it.

He didn’t exactly miss the days living with his parents, the few times he stayed up to play with sparklers in the yard, but that fourth?  He would have given anything to just go outside.  Hear the fireworks booming in the distance.  Maybe spot a lightning bug in the bushes of the hospital parking lot even if he didn’t have the energy to try and catch it.

So.  He was a little adamant about coming today.

Before they left, he ducked out to find the bathroom.  It felt almost luxurious slapping the automatic button next to the door.  And damn, maybe he could convince Wayne to install some grab bars in their bathroom.

“Hey!  Where’s your band?”

He looked over his shoulder on the way out of the bathroom and a nurse came up to him, and repeated herself.  Steve closed Max’s door in his periphery.

“My band?”

“Yeah, you’re not allowed to take those off.  What’s your name?  I can print you a new one.  You’re really not supposed to take those off, though.”

“He’s not a patient.  We were just leaving.”

Steve waved her off, standing between them until she left.

Eddie clenched his teeth, but kept his mouth shut. He was tired, today.  As opposed to when exactly, he wasn’t sure.  Maybe a long time ago.

Part 5 ~ Part 6

[zedif-y]

get yourself a guy that defends you as much as zed does to his sticky kicky

[yexuans]

cn spoiler for yexuan's recolour whisper (空谷见幽兰)

This shit is soo painful like actually.

Yexuan from the future timeline left a message for mc by adhering the message to yexuan from the current timeline which he managed to decipher eventually

"我与你离散，真实的原因是因为我没有足够的能量，去承受爱与牺牲。

至少在你还爱我的时候，我内心无法回报足够的热情。"

Basically he separated from mc as he thought that he did not have the strength to withstand love and sacrifice. When mc loved him, he could not return the feelings as passionate as her.

But still he loved her, even when they had separated ways.

"想到你的时候，我在心底会产生一丝细微的战栗。

我忍不住猜想，如果我们从未离散，又会有怎样的未来？

感慨这些，我自己都觉得可笑。

作为拥有和改造了时光之轮，亲手推动帝国崩裂之人，竟会回忆漫长生命中一段几乎可以忽略不计的日常。"

He talked about how his heart trembled at the thought of her, he even wondered what would've happened if they've never left each other. He found himself laughable that he was expressing regrets. He never thought that he who had defeated the empire, would still be recalling memories of simpler times. (so cool he managed to defeat the empire here... so proud of him but like it must've cost him so much...)

"当我在时空的间隙中，看到那个尚在帝国麾下身为“未来窥探者”的自己。

一时只想到：“他还在你身边。”

我心里有��恍然，甚至觉得… “哦，他还有没失去。”

Here, he talked about how he managed to catch a glimpse of himself from the past (the part in summer story where he was doing missions for the empire) He thought: "He's still by your side." He felt confused, he even thought "Oh, he has not experienced loss" (btw the way he said this was 😭😭😭😭)

"我将消失于命运无数支流之中。

现在，让我用最温柔的语气与你道别，虽然现在的我已经不太有“温柔”的概念了。

再见了。

我只能给你一句很俗气的祝福。

请你一定要幸福。"

This part ruined me... he talked about how he's going to disappear.

He said: "Now, let me bid you farewell in the most gentle manner, although right now the "gentle" concept probably doesn't exist within me anymore. (Emphasising on this line cuz im gna talk about it again)

Goodbye.

I have a blessing for you.

Please, be happy."

In the second part of the whisper, it's happier as yexuan and mc are enjoying their holidays. Which then he brought up about the message that was left for mc from him in the future.

He actually thought about keeping this from mc. But then when he thought about there are a lot of ways of passing on a message to the past to change the future. There are even more direct, ruthless ways to contact mc. But yexuan from the future chose to use the most gentlest way to change the past. And this whole thing, to him, would be the most cruelest thing as he would cease to exist.

(I CANTTTTTTTTT IM SICK and he thought that he wasn't gentle anymore but he did this for mc fml)

Btw in the first part of the whisper, future yexuan mentioned that if the current yexuan somehow managed to decipher this message and decided to share with mc, that means he had found enough conviction and that yexuan and mc will not separate... (like omg... 🥲)

Yexuan then ended off with this line: "You have to know that, no matter the past or future or where I'm located at, I'll always love you."

The impact of that line just hits harder after all that.... 😭 the part where he ceases to exist seriously killed me like yea it gotta happen if not That future will happen again but can u imagine how he felt... when he saw the past yexuan and mc together... when he made up the decision to do this... He really loves her...

[skepsys]

OK well i wasnt gonna put color on this but uhhh me when i lie i guess. sorry for the kinda double post then. i just think that he