#<- technically I’ve been drawing these all week. but it was going to finish them today…

[magicwhiskers29]

The whole gang! The lines randomly start getting thinner partway through, but whoops. I had each of these on different canvases and didn’t check the others in between :p

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy One Year Anniversary to Boy King AU!!!! 🎉

Okay wait before I start talking, look at these close ups and the process!! Aren't they so beautiful aaaahhhh

Wow, can you believe it’s really been a whole entire year since my very first post about this AU? Well technically I first started talking about the statuette a day earlier, but the very first sketch was exactly a year ago!! Let us not forget the incredibly prophetic tag on that post: “also in the sense of this au i think the only ship that would work(historically accurate wise) is Vettonso.” Who knew that after that my entire life would devolve into vettonso, this specific period of history, and the lovely combo which is Boy King AU. Also wow this means it’s taken me almost a whole entire year to actually draw a joint portrait of them hahaha. I drew this sketch around the beginning of the AU, but never finished it. It’s fine though because this one is a lot better, and I’m in love with it. Took me a year to draw a couple portrait, and took me almost a whole entire month to finish said piece. 

Okay let me explain this piece, which I am very obsessed with!!! I dragged the process out more than I usually would, but I’m glad, because it was so enjoyable. But also look at that fucking crown, no wonder this took almost a month. Usually I’d write like 50 paragraphs detailing the characterization. HOWEVER! I’ve spent over a month writing little bits of characterization, mostly for fun, but also in preparation for this very post. A lot of the earlier ones, I had this drawing in mind, thinking on how I could expand on the ideas I was drawing. Though there’s definitely some things I could still write about. I’ll probably continue to write more Lore a Days, but yeah, they basically amounted to this drawing where you can actually see the characterization I was talking about displayed. Anyways, here are the explanations of bits in the drawing:

First of all, this is some part of the long process of their wedding. Look at the married couple!! Look at their rings!!!

Okay, but why are there two, almost identical looking pieces?? Because look at their hands!! I talked a lot about how Fernando is the one to give out affection more easily, especially in public, where he knows he can easily fluster Seb. He’s acting all grumpy and out of it, I mean to be fair, it’s probably been such a long ceremony across weeks. But he notices Seb is out of it too, just better at keeping his smile (let’s be honest, even if he’s distracted, he’s super smug.) So Fernando catches him off guard by squeezing his hand. Before that, as you can see, Fernando is just resting his hand on Seb’s outstretched palm, like that one scene from Succession. Very: yes I’m getting married, but I’m not happy about it. The combination of Fernando refusing to even touch him more than lightly beforehand but now going full force, them being in public, and Seb already being distracted catches Seb so off guard he has to try to cover his blush with his fan. He thought Fernando was being super impolite, but now he’s the impolite one!! Getting all blushy and giggly over a simple display of affection, perhaps even ha-

So. Their crowns. Seb’s wearing the crown of Austria, because he is in fact only a king still! Also, because I really wanted to try drawing it after I wimped out of it before in this drawing. Fernando’s a king as well by the point, but the fact he’s wearing only a tiara-like hairpiece is to represent how much of an outsider he still is. At this moment, he’s just Seb’s wi- ,I mean husband, to all these guests. Of course this bitch wears a black veil instead of a white one, to signal that he’s mourning the loss of his autonomy and personhood. Don’t worry too much about his mental state though, considering he’s not depressed enough to be able to resist teasing Seb. 

The fan, oh my god. Back in this era, people would gift/make fans for basically any occasion. To symbolize an event, to celebrate something, to show a story, etc etc. I wish I could have drawn something more narrative, but I think the bull vs. horse is good enough. Also you can see those same symbols on the pendants they’re wearing!! I’m so happy when I can fit irl, modern stuff like that into these drawings, it feels so clever!!

It’s so funny, I wrote a lore a day from a prompt about what they’d be like when doing a joint portrait, while I was already almost through painting a dual portrait of my own! So I got to explain some stuff like their clothing colors and poses before I even posted this. I feel very coy about that still honestly. 

Hmmm what else? It feels so weird to not expand on the characterization, considering I already did it for myself weeks in advance. I can’t imagine what it’s like opening this read more, and seeing more than 10 in-text citations. Happy reading!!!

 Happy anniversary to  this wonderful, crazy AU that makes me download 500pg German papers about 18th century etiquette. I drew a couple pieces of fanart before this AU, but I definitely think it jumpstarted my insanity about drawing/making AUs, and literally is what made me insane about Vettonso in the first place. Remember, if I hadn’t learned about Joseph I/Charles VI, most of my blog probably wouldn’t exist in it's current form. Thank you if you’ve stuck around since the beginning, or if you’re even just learning about it now!! It’s so incredibly niche but I’ve had so much fun researching and building this world and these characterizations, and I hope you’ve enjoyed what I’ve made in the process. I hope I can draw/write many more things in the future. I think next, I’m gonna maybe open up requests. I’d like to try to either write ficlets or draw chibi comics about specific Lore a Day posts on request. I think that’d be a lot of fun, but also will probably kill me. We’ll see!! Anyways. PPlease enjoy this absolute labor of love, which is a result of a year’s worth of work.

[froznwater]

please do not vote if you have not read collateral or simply do not plan to continue reading <33

there will also be a poll on tiktok (so technically you could have 2 votes lmao) when this poll has ended. I am stretching them out so if you miss the first one, the second is still available. TikTok polls also have a max of 24 hours.

The result will be the combined total from both apps.

I will do another poll/take suggestions for what scenes after we decide on which scenario.

Alternative POV scene: I will write the scene from the other characters perspective. (Will not be the whole chapter, but still a decent chunk, at least 2k words)

Extra art scene: I will draw a scene I’ve left behind! As I am attempting to do one scene per chapter only. There’s many scenes people have asked to draw afterward.

I will be finishing Alenoah week, and the next chapter before this is started, but I am going to go ahead and do the polls now to give people some time. And so that we don’t have to go through the whole process later.

ALSO:

Thank you guys so so so much for your support!!! You have been amazinggggg. So many sweet comments and even fanart!!! Ahhhhh!! Thank you for all the asks, questions or comments, I love them all. We got 1k+ kudos with only 3 chapters and I believe we are currently the #3 fic under Alenoah!!! Insane. 💕💕💕

Thank you guys for being patient with the next chapter, as I really wanted to participate in Alenoah week :P

[shadyruinskryptonite]

Titan Bending, Chapter 3

Warning: Violence consistent with cannon, NSFW so MDNI, language, major character death (both consistent with canon of both AOT and ATLA as well as diverging from canon), so much trauma literally everyone is so traumatized, very much slow burn, a little enemies to lovers, SO MUCH ANGST, hurt/comfort, hurt and delayed comfort, AFAB reader

Chapter Warnings: Language, violence and implied violence, Levi being a dick, please let me know if I missed anything

WC: 2600

Previous Chapter, Next Chapter

Masterlist

I’m given no formal introduction to the soldiers, but Hange does take me around. I’m trying so hard to pay attention to what she’s saying because I think I could be friends with her, but I find myself zoning in and out of the conversation.

“You’ll technically be on Captain Levi’s squad but much like Eren you’ll be running a lot of experiments with me,” Hange says.

“Wait, hold on. I thought we agreed that I was allowed to kind of be my own free agent? What’s this about squads and experiments?”

She waves me off and says, “yes, yes, you have your independence still. But for the sake of our strategy and planning, we have to know roughly where you’ll be located. And as for experiments,” I swear I see her vibrate with excitement, “we also need to understand your abilities and how we can best utilize them.”

I’m still a little apprehensive but I ultimately nod. Eventually, I quietly mumble “I refuse to call that little shit ‘Captain’ though.”

Hange bursts into laughter, so uncontrollable that it starts to draw the attention of other people milling about. Once she collects herself, she says “I can’t wait to see you two interact more. You’re either going to be his favorite or he’s going to hate you with every fiber of his being.”

“That’s…reassuring,” I say wholly unconvinced.

Our tour around the barracks comes to a close at the mess hall just in time for dinner. I join Hange in line and continue to listen to her describing the quality of food. “It’s not the best but it’s not the worst either. They do what they can with what little resources they have. We don’t often get meat though so I hope you’re not strictly carnivorous,” Hange laughs at her own joke and I smile.

“Honestly, a hot meal that I don’t have to hunt or catch myself is a welcome change,” I lament.

“You said something similar about sleeping in a bed even though the dungeon beds leave much to be desired. If you hate living out there so much, why did you choose to live out there?” she ponders.

I smile again as food is added to our trays and we slide along. I don’t know what a lot of the items are so I just pick up all of the same things that Hange does. As we look for seats, I explain, “Well, truth be told this experience wasn’t exactly what I was anticipating. When I’ve lived on my own previously, I had the option to go into villages and I did so a few times a week.”

She sits down and I don’t pay much attention to our surroundings as I finish my story. “Sure, I was completely self-sufficient before but what I liked was that life seemed so simple. I did odd jobs for people, made art, and played music when I needed extra cash. I was expecting the same thing here but obviously that’s not what I got.”

Now that we’re sitting, I take my first bite and nod in contentment. Hange was right - it’s not great, but I’ve certainly had worse. It’s only now that I take a moment to look at the people near us and realize we’re being stared at. Before I can get too self conscious though, I notice the boy that I treated on the cart is sitting just up the table from us.

I grin, happy to see a familiar face, and I wave enthusiastically to him and say “Armin! It’s nice to see you again!” He seems embarrassed so I just turn back to keep talking to Hange. 

We finish eating and she shows me where to return my tray before changing the subject. “Okay!” she says with a clap. “Now I just need to show you to your room!”

The surprise must have been evident on my face because she laughs again and says “What, you thought we were going to make you sleep on the ground?”

I snort and respond, “no, it’s not that. I honestly thought I’d stay in the cell or be put in some kind of communal housing. I’m surprised I get an actual room.”

The humor drops from her tone as she says, “we did consider that, but both for your safety and that of the other soldiers, we decided it was best to keep you on your own.” I let her words sink in and I nod knowingly before she continues. “Plus, your room is right between the Captain’s quarters and my lab, so we can keep an eye on you.” When she says this, she almost seems like she feels guilty for not trusting me.

We stop in front of a door and I turn to her, trying to reassure her. “Hey, I get it. You guys have been really accommodating as it is, I totally understand that you’ve gotta watch me. I’ve said it before, but in your shoes I know I certainly wouldn’t trust me either.” With that, her smile returns and she opens the door to an admittedly very small room. 

Hange sheepishly says “it was converted from a storage closet so it’s-”

“It’s perfect,” I say with a smile, cutting her off before she says anything negative. “Whether it’s a closet or a cell or a blanket on the ground, I’m honestly just grateful that you didn’t opt to execute me.”

The backpack I took with me as I left the forest is sitting at the foot of the bed and there’s a small chest of drawers with a lamp on top. It’s not like I have a lot of things as it is, so this is more than enough. I open my bag and begin to put things away, and Hange’s voice cuts through my thoughts, “Even though your room is situated among the officers, you will still have to use the communal bathrooms and showers that the enlisted use. Sorry about that.”

I laugh, saying something similar to my previous responses, “I’ve been bathing in a river and rubbing flowers on myself so I don’t smell like a dead turtle seal. If it’s water and soap, I have no complaints.”

It seems like she has a question, but she just turns to walk out, only adding “I’m experimenting with Eren in the morning, so I’ll plan to see you just after lunch. Captain Levi and I want to test the extent of your abilities.” I nod and bid her a goodnight, hearing her mumble to herself as she closes the door, “what the hell is a turtle seal?”

When I wake up, I can barely make out what’s on the clock. I have no concept of time because my little closet doesn’t have a window so I flip on my light and instantly regret it. As my eyes adjust I see that I’ve missed breakfast so I decide to shower before I start my day. I fold my clean clothes over my arm and grab the towel and soap from the bottom drawer. As I walk towards the bathroom, I see what looks like a field of kids training.

Wow, Armin was right, most of them do look like they’re only about 15.

I shower quickly and peacefully, getting dressed before I step in front of the mirror to braid my hair. As I’m standing there, a girl with jet black hair walks in. I glance at her from the corner of my eye and recognize her as someone that was sitting with Armin the previous night. As I’m about to greet her, I realize that she’s merely glaring at me so I quickly decide against it. Walking back to my room I also realize how strange it would be to introduce myself to someone in a bathroom.

To kill a little bit of time, I go for a quick run to get my blood pumping for the day. It seems like everywhere I go people are staring at me.

This will be hard to get used to.

I cut my run off early when I came across Hange running an experiment with who I’m guessing is Eren. As I approach she spares me a glance before doing a quick double take.

“Are you wearing the same thing you wore yesterday?” she asks, now looking at Eren again.

I glance at my outfit before looking at her and blinking slowly. I answer with my own question, “you wear a uniform every day, does that mean they’re the same articles of clothes you wore the day before?”

“Touche, but you’re a civilian, why do you have more than one of the same thing?”

“Because I like it?” I say, a little perturbed. “It’s comfy, I can fight in it, and it’s all black so it’s good for concealing myself.”

“Okay, okay. I appreciate how early you are! Your enthus- wait! You are early right? I didn’t miss lunch again did I?!”

I chuckle a little, “relax, yes, I’m early. I was just going for a run before lunch. You didn’t miss anything.”

She heaves a noticeable sigh of relief and returns to her work. I decide to make myself comfortable and watch.

As I’m watching the scene unfold, I hear one of the only voices I’ve come to recognize.

“Oi! Y/n! If you’ve got time to sit you’ve got time to train,” Levi calls to me.

I sit up straighter, but I don’t look at him, afraid that if I do I’ll just lunge at him. I take a deep breath before I slowly turn to look at him. His expression is stoic as ever. I take one more calming breath before yelling back, “I train on my terms, remember? Plus, it’s almost lunch anyway.” I turn back to Hange and Eren and see him crawling out of the titan’s neck.

Holy shit, so there’s an actual person in there.

Once he’s been pulled out and the two start to head towards me, I offer the exhausted looking kid a smile. 

“I’m Y/n, and you must be Eren.” I stick out my hand but his big green eyes only look at it before looking back at my face. Somewhat coldly, he says, “yeah, I know.”

Rather taken aback, I slowly lower my hand and opt to look straight ahead as I offer a weak apology, “sorry, I didn’t realize you don’t shake hands with people when you meet them for the first time here.”

“Oh no,” Hange quips and I turn to her. “We do, he’s just being rude.”

I open my mouth to say something but I’m too stunned for any words to come out. At least she told me the truth. I hear Eren mumble something about not being rude under his breath and I realize I recognize his voice too. 

Before I can stop myself, the words come flying out, “Oh! You’re the kid that I could hear whining when you were in the woods the other day!” As soon as I say it, I want to suck the words back in but Hange laughs and, like a ghost, Levi seems to appear on the other side of Eren and snort too. 

I can see the kid’s temper flare as he yells back at me “Oh yeah?! Well you’re the freak that uses magic bullshit to ‘heal’ people! I think it’s a crock of shit and I think you’re dangerous!”

I smile at his outburst as we enter the mess hall. The four of us get in line and I can see that he’s flustered by the fact that he didn’t get a rise out of me. I shrug and say, “Well, you’re at least partially right. I am dangerous, but I have no intention of harming you or anyone else here,” I wink at him as he stares blankly. “There’s nothing ‘magical’ about my waterbending though. I simply manipulate water the same way people have done for thousands of years.”

My dismissal seems to shut him up. I see that he grabs different items than Hange and so I try to copy him. When we sit down, Levi disappears again and this time some kids sit with us, I’m guessing friends of Eren. Armin sits directly across from me and I grin at him again.

Hange can’t sit quietly for long, so she starts in “you say people have been bending water for thousands of years? Who was the first water bender? How did people discover they could do it? How did the first people learn?”

I smile as I listen to her questions and take a bite of my meal.

Hm, I think I like Eren’s picks better than Hange’s. I’ll have to remember this.

I look up, about to start, when I see multiple pairs of eyes on me. I chuckle and begin answering Hange’s questions.

“Well, it’s kind of complicated. Each of the elements learned from what we all call the ‘original benders.’ For earth benders it was the badger moles, for fire benders the dragons, and for air benders it was the flying bison. Water bending is weird in that the original bender isn’t an animal but rather the moon. People learned to water bend by mimicking the push and pull of the tide and since this is controlled by the moon’s pull on the earth and the ocean, people were basically just copying the moon. For that reason, water bending is actually stronger at night and strongest during a full moon. Conversely, I lose the ability to bend at all during an eclipse.”

When I look back up, everyone looks at me confused. “Okay, which part was unclear? I can explain something better depending on what you don’t understand.”

Hange answers immediately, “Y/n, nothing you said made sense. It sounds like you were speaking a different language. Dragons aren’t real and what the hell is a ‘badger mole’ or a ‘flying bison?’ And once you explain that, do you mind telling us what a tide is?”

Before I can start, Armin excitedly speaks up, “A tide is the ocean water hitting land! I’ve read about it! Are you saying you’ve seen the sea?!” His childlike curiosity makes me grin again. 

“Yeah, you’re exactly right. And yes, not only have I seen the sea, I’ve been swimming in it more times than I can count. I’m from the Northern Watertribe. It’s the farthest North you can go…or at least, that’s what people from my world think. We also think the Fire Nation is the farthest West you can go but I ended up here somehow so clearly we don’t know as much as we think we do.

“Anyway, badger moles are basically these big blind idiots that live underground. They use earth bending to feel their way around and it basically acts as their eyes. Flying bison are almost extinct, but the one that’s left belongs to my friend. His name is Appa and he’s probably as big as this room. He’s extremely fluffy and has six legs and a tail that can generate as much wind as a tornado.

“As for dragons, they definitely do exist. It was thought that they were hunted to extinction by firebenders at the beginning of the 100 year war but my friend Aang - the same person that owns Appa - encountered and learned from the last two dragons in the world.”

It seems like I’ve managed to mesmerize these kids and even Eren seems to have completely forgotten his anger towards me from moments ago.

With a slap of her legs, Hange declares, “Alright! Enough talking! Y/n, you ready to show us what you’ve got?”

And with that, we stand up and head to the training field.

[boqvistsbabe]

Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

[strwberri-milk]

this is basically me combining two requests about kaeya meeting kaeya mom after she spawns into teyvat

To See the Stars in Your Eyes

The heavens shine brightly, reminding me of all that I’ve lost. 

I look to the sky and wonder; is there a way we can see the same sun and stars? 

To be with you – I wish it didn’t mean to betray myself. 

Texts upon texts pile themselves up high, a woman with brilliant blue hair and piercing eyes busying herself with the books as she finishes up her newest research project. The familiar thrill of excitement thrums in her chest, painstaking efforts finally bringing fruition as the last pieces of the puzzle finally slot in place. She sits back, giving herself a well deserved stretch of the back as a knock sounds on the door. 

A scout walks in, wringing a piece of paper in their hands. The look on their face warns Shravya, now giving them her full attention. Her eyes go wide and she drops her pen, running out of the room to begin her next long journey. 

“Over here!” 

Mika runs over, drawing his lance in case the person discovered was dangerous. There was no such thing as being overly cautious - a lesson he was more than versed in working with the Reconnaissance company. 

The other knights had already surrounded the woman, weapons drawn as they eyed each other a little nervously. They were in strange territory, simply trying to carry out a short term expedition upon increased sightings of hillichurls near one of Mondstat’s borders. Nobody knew what they were up against and the fact that the hilichurls seemed to be leaving her alone when she was running from them earlier only increased their hesitancy. 

Mika swallows his nerves, reminding himself he had the power here, not her before speaking confidently. 

“Raise your face! We won’t hurt you if you don’t hurt us.” 

The woman looks at him, seeming to relax upon seeing how young Mika looks. He had no idea if that should be a need for concern until hushed whispers begin to make their way around the circle. Some of the knights even lower their weapons, unsure what to make of the outlander. 

“I didn’t mean to startle your camp. I arrived in Sumeru and I’ve been travelling ever since. Can you tell me where I am?” 

“You travelled all the way from Sumeru to Mondstat?” Mika asks in shock, lowering his lance. She didn’t seem to be lying, and to be honest, he was a little unnerved himself. 

“Yes, yes it’s been several weeks - months, maybe. I have it recorded in my journal.”

She turns to rummage through her bag, the single earring she wears shining brightly in the sun. 

“Mika, isn’t that the same earring as Captain Kaeya?” a knight asks. Before he can reply, the woman turns sharply to look at Mika, hope in her eyes. 

“Kaeya? Do you know a boy named Kaeya? Where is he?” 

Mika draws his weapon again, forcing her hands into the air. 

“Why do you want to know where our Captain is? It’s too dangerous to take you to him.” 

His words sound hollow even in his own ears, the knights beginning to whisper aggressively again. 

“She looks…”

“Is she not the spitting image of the Cavalry Captain?”

“He must be secretive about his past for a reason. There’s no way his family would find him after this long though.”

The woman listens attentively to everything they’re all saying, Mika wishing he could tell them to shut up lest they reveal too much information. 

“I don’t know a boy named Kaeya,” Mika says after a while, technically telling the truth. 

“That’s okay! Can I at least come to your city? I can come as your prisoner, whatever you need. This is the only lead I’ve gotten thus far,” she implores, no longer concerned about her own wellbeing. 

Perhaps a little stupidly, she grabs Mika's hands, startling him into dropping his weapon. 

“At least let me stay for a day or two and I’ll leave. That’s it. I just need some answers and I’ll put up with anything as long as you take me to, what was it, Mondstat? Take me to Mondstat.”

Shravya finds herself sitting in a majestic office, supposedly waiting for the attendance of the Acting Grand Master. She’s not unused to meeting figures of authority but to say she was feeling perfectly fine in the land of the Gods was a lie. A question burns on her tongue, wanting to ask what became of her nation when she was taken from Tayvat, disowning her land to save herself from Elazar. Even now, a pang of hurt rings through her chest as she remembers the selfish decision. 

Sumeru hadn’t given her enough answers, her previous native nation only telling her that Khaenri’ah had fallen 500 years ago. She had no hope left of finding her husband or son, but something inside of her was so desperate to at least get a solid answer that the world she left once existed. That the family she left behind, even if they were gone, were at least able to rest in peace. 

She continues to wait patiently, a little annoyed at herself for not working harder to maintain her knowledge of the Lingua Franca. Voices outside of the room speak in hushed tones, the local accent making it even harder for her to understand what they’re saying about her. Instead, she’s forced to just sit and wait until the door finally opens, heart in her throat as she meets the stern gaze of a blonde woman. 

“Thank you for waiting. I’m Jean Gunnhildr, Acting Grand Master of Mondstat.”

Jean walks over to her, putting her hand out to shake and Shravya takes it gratefully, wanting to make sure her intentions cannot be misconstrued. 

“Thank you for meeting me. My name is Shravya. I was taken in by your Knights after they found me camping and I asked them to take me into the city.”

“Yes, Mika told me about all of that.”

Jean goes to sit at her desk, putting down a letter she came into the room with. 

“He provided me with a report already before I came in here. Can you tell me why you’re here and what you hope to achieve in Mondstat?” 

Thankfully, Jean doesn’t sound hostile and unlike the others, she didn’t seem to respond in any way to Shravya’s appearance. She’s glad for it, knowing she wasn’t dressed like she was from Teyvat but the fact it seemed to put them on edge didn’t make her feel any better about her chances. 

“I was just hoping to find traces of people I left behind,” she decides to say simply, clearing her throat. 

“You see, I was sent away many years ago,” According to the current books here it’s been five centuries, “and I was hoping to reconnect.” 

“Do you know if you would have been pronounced missing? I can try and put an inquiry in to see if your family tried to look for you. I’ll just need to go locate missing person’s reports.” 

“I didn’t go missing in Mondstat. I went missing in one of the smaller nations – I don’t think they’ll have any records.” Jean’s brows furrow in response, Shravya’s heart sinking even more as she realises the case against her is building with each passing second. 

“I don’t have much to prove my identity. I was fleeing, after all but I promise you I don’t wish to harm your city.” 

“I understand, but you must realise the position I’m being put in. I have no idea who you are and your clothes do not look like they are from any nation I know of. The fact that you were haggard on the border of Mondstat makes you seem more like you were trying to sneak in and were caught in the middle of your mission.” 

Shravya nods as Jean talks, trying to figure out what she can say to further prove her case. Jean gives her that grace, sitting back and continuing to go over the report as the other woman attempts to piece together her words. After a while, Jean sees that Shravya hasn’t quite yet figured it out, clearing her throat to get her attention. 

“I’ve asked one of the captains to see if he can find any information on you. He should be here shortly to report. You can wait here until he returns. Is that alright?” 

“It’s alright, thank you.” 

A few more minutes pass until the door opens again, Shravya’s eyes following as the figure walks into the room. Her eyes widen and Jean notices, deciding not to address it yet as Kaeya barges in, shaking his head. 

“Jean, I have no idea why you sent me on such a wild goose chase. A woman who seems Sumeran yet not dressed like one, abandoned at the border and you couldn’t even get me a name? Honestly, you’d have better luck asking Klee to do espionage.”

“Kaeya,” Jean says almost forcefully, “you know better than I do that you have a much more comprehensive information network than I do.” 

Kaeya’s brow quirks, confused. 

“Why’d you say my name like that? Have I done something? I report to work and then you immediately run me out of my office. At least let me sit down before you chew me out,” he chuckles, absolutely oblivious to the unfolding situation. 

“Please meet our guest, Shravya.” 

He turns, smiling as he introduces himself to her without really thinking. 

“Well hello there. My name’s Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain for the Knights of Favonious. Are you the woman we’ve found on the border?” 

Kaeya looks at her a little closer, hand stilling in the air. He takes half a step back, laughing a little nervously. 

“Where did she say she was from again? Sumeru?” he asks Jean, looking almost desperate. 

“Kaeya,” Jean says softly, putting a hand on her dear friend’s shoulder. “She was asking for you.” 

“Kaeya,” Shravya mirrors, tears springing to her eyes as she takes in the man in front of her. 

There was no way she could ever forget the energetic child she’d given birth to, mischievous and curious to no end. He’d gotten his father’s eyes, the star shaped pupils always flitting about in their sea of lavender. They matched perfectly with the beautiful hair he’d inherited from her, worn just the way she’d worn it when she was still with them both. 

She stares at him in shock, trying to understand how the son she suddenly remembered had gotten so big, standing tall over her and looking much better fed than what she could manage scavenging for food. They had tried, she and his father, tried so hard to provide Kaeya with more than they could give. Her hand goes over her mouth, immediately falling to her knees and sobbing in front of him. 

He can barely get a word out as she tries to apologise to him, mixes of the Lingua Franca and Khaenri’ahn practically spewing out of her. Jean had left and closed the door as soon as Kaeya turned her attention to Shravya, the man now down on one knee as he tried to get her to come back up. Eventually, she was finally able to meet his eyes - no, eye, heart breaking even further at the sight. 

“My son,” she begins, cupping his face tenderly in her hands. 

“I’m so sorry I abandoned you. I’ve hurt you so much and I understand if you never want to talk to me again but please, tell me how you are, how your father is.”

“Mother, your Elezar. Wasn’t it worse than this? Shouldn’t you be dead?” he asks carefully, lost as to what was happening. 

“I’m fine, I’m okay. But you, oh my poor child,” she weeps again, pulling him into her arms. 

Kaeya tries not to squirm, pressed firmly against his mother’s chest as he tries to reconcile all the feelings swirling inside of him. On one hand this was seriously going to keep him up at night, totally fucking over any sort of calm he thought he had found over the years but on the other…she was his mother, a woman he thought had died so long ago. This scent was so familiar, her warmth something he had no idea he missed until he was squished up against it, letting her smother him. 

“Your father - where is he?” she finally asks, letting Kaeya go.

“He left me here. I’ve been ever since. We thought you were dead and he got desperate.” 

Kaeya doesn’t want to say anything more, struggling to really process everything happening all at once. 

For now, he would keep an eye on her. He had to make sure she wasn’t some elaborate plot looking to destroy Mondstat after all. 

[thefirstimagifabricator]

life update i suppose?????

since i’ve not been here much recently and won’t be for a bit

lol hi yeah I’ve been dead here that’s bc of the thing called School and also I’m in my school musical and I’m v busy with that and keep coming home and then just like. crashing and falling asleep so i really don’t end up going on socmed shite much yk

and yeah the show is the weekend march starts which is soon so quite busy and then a week after that i have a concert and a week after that I have my science olympiad state-level competition so there’s more busy. this time of year is always busy fjshjfs

might draw and share some shite though

i had a snow day today >:)

I’ll definitely do smth for kdj’s bday (that’s…technically tmrw now oh shit) but it might not be big esp bc i have my last two college supplementals due that night and I’ve not yet finished either of them. and also i have a late English assignment. so yeah

oh and i don’t think i said it here but i play genshin now. as of like. late december. I didn’t play for weeks though but I’ve been playing again bc of events and shite. i drew Gaming two nights ago and I’m v v happy abt it >:)

anyway that’s it i think lol

hope y’all are well and all of you who haven’t read orv yet you should go read it 👍

school musical is footloose btw and it’s going v well

[winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts]

Come and Trick or Treat! Open all year :] tags updated Nov. 28

Intro?

Howdy!!! Pronouns —> she/he/they (no preference)

Wolfy (wolf character I doodle sometimes) is my blog mascot. Unreliable sleep schedule/forgetful/message notifs don’t show up- so if you need me uhhhh keep yelling until I notice? Hdfjhfg..

I love drawing, listening to game playthroughs, and looking at cute animals! Feel free to send an ask about anything.

——

Tags!!

Art tag: wolfys art

Cool art by pals: grand showcase of arts

Doc says something: wolf chats

Art months stuff (all of them!! general tag): Just Here To Have Fun

Kiley and co stuff (commonwealth): little wastrels

second fallout au (island, custom location for an rp): badlands crew

Misc fandom tags (unreliably tagged but I will start now): qsmp, good omens, fallout, bg3, whump stuff, starfield, doctor who

important/tagged consistently: psa, boost (urgent news), reblogging for future reference (general tips), promo (friends news), flashing images, bright colors

"You have to reblog!" And similar phrases: rebait

Minor misc tags: drawing tips, writing tips, cooking tips, fave,

Note- these are not tagged reliably: ghouls/zombies, blood, skeletons, suggestive (no explicit things here), bugs and spiders, guns, drug use, smoking, all caps

——

Unimportant ramblings v

Time stamp: Jul 15? Heeeeey. Hello. So I did take a break from art till like last week, but uh, the health has been a roller coaster-

I kinda cleaned the whole house compulsively multiple times. I dunno what to say about that. Went from the compulsion to be Always Drawing to Always Doing Chores, so it wasn’t really a break? It felt amazing for a little while, but I am so stressed inside ahagfhkhdf. Anywayssssss.

I realized that promising to do the art requests Later is just me returning to old behavior, like just... keeping it on the line so I /nobody gets a direct answer *when* it will be done. That makes my brain think it’s in the clear while the other artists are worried and unsure what’d happen. Andddd even though I did have the motivation to do animated group projects for a little while, a small thing completely knocked me into dropping everything else.

I know I *could* try to join more projects or do more requests, I’m not in a safe headspace where I wouldn’t be set off, and nobody should risk their project’s deadline for that-

TLDR I’m going to Try and fix things up on my end and stop myself from joining anything (that depends on Every artists effort). Even if I feel alright *now* I know there’s a lot of risk for *later*- just don’t let me in anything big and important even if I ask, please- for at least a year-

—— Timestamp: Slightly Before August

Gonna Try Ink Demonth this year- I’ll limit myself and not do something too detailed again hsdkfjzhk.

——

Timestamp: August 17

[cackles evilly] Ink Demonth Ink Demothhhhh- this is the furthest I’ve ever gotten in an art prompt month ever! ...even though I’m technically not on theme (Fallout instead of Batim). Trying to pace myself by alternating between a simple and detailed style. Hrrrh the yeehawgust prompts (cowboy theme!) look so cool but I won’t double up- but I will try to participate in the September AI-less-Whump month. (gore and dark subjects! I’ll tag everything properly of course.)

Also I’ve come to a realization- A dream of mine has been becoming famous for my art/animations, but uh- One, it isn’t realistic, and Two, posts getting like 200 notes freaks me out cfjhxfgh- Well, doing stuff for friends and others is just as cool. Y’all are awesome ^w^

——

Timestamp: Aughust ninteen

Wait actually I don’t need a reason to block people. I don’t need to tell you either. It’s been getting a bit too chummy around here (reference)

——

Timestamp: September 4

I didn’t finish the art month, but I got to day twenty! That’s pretty good. I’ll finish it up this month. I also gotta work on some ref sheet, finish a birthday gift, andddd clear the askbox.

——

Timestamp: September 29

Oeghhhh.... too many ideas, not enough time. So many comic ideas. And I gotta tamp down my love of angst dvhkdfbnsf, make sure it makes sense first!! Decided to keep the aus separate. Normal Game Stuff is happening in the Badlands mainland, uh, I don’t know what ending we’d go with but anyways. ....hm. Maybe there’s no sosu and the factions are not making any progress. But probably’d lean towards Institute ending if I had to choose now.

Hm. Well. Maybe I did not think. Uh well in the other au Kiley’s with the Minutemen, and Nate’s with the BoS, so... well I’m not sure how this is gonna go- I’ll keep drawing memes till I think of something cool.

——

Timestamp: October 24

Well uhhhh. I dropped the October art challenge pretty quick, unfortunately. I’ll continue in December maybe? I said I’d do a few days of Halltober, and I don’t want to go back on what I said.

I keep continuing and dropping the au stuff, but that just proves I can continue a project! Maybe!! Maybe. It’ssss a comedy, so uh I’m not worried about making a Deep Story or anything. It’ll be fiiiiine. Just little slice of life stuff.

I wwwwwill get caught up on requests and gifts-

[bvannn]

Weekly Update February 2, 2024

I think I’m mostly better. The medicine I take is once a week, and it’s supposed to last me all week. Last week it brought me through about Tuesday, this week I was good until Wednesday, hopefully next week it’ll last the full week. I’m doing fine today too because Fridays are when I administer it. I think I’ll be fine real soon. Unfortunately I am swamped with homework, but I can manage it pretty soon.

This week as far as art projects was mainly me messing with music. I found the trick to getting good electronic instruments, and that is a little free plugin called Krush. I don’t know why music software companies like mortal kombat so much that they spell everything like that, but the ones that do make nice stuff so I won’t judge. I also started fiddling with Melodies for some instrumental themes for OCs, Shaun and Romeo are first up for that, planning to make progress tonight. Cleaned up my other project files as well and found a nice bass and drum line I must’ve made while I was delirious on medicine after surgery bc I don’t remember making it but it sounds nice so I’ll keep it. I’m the process of cleaning up a Zelda medley, I’ll probably post the piano version of that alongside the full instrumental. Finally, another one that’s set for vocals even though I technically haven’t finished the first one. I’m impulsive. The first one is just missing vocals and lyrics really so once I’m in a good headspace I’ll try to lyric out both of these in one go and fiddle with vocaloid after I know what words I want.

I also finally started prodding at Vocaloid 5. I’m going with v5 over v4 because it has a more user friendly UI and I’m under the impression that the attack and release feature is unique to v5, although I may be wrong on that. I’m still not sure exactly which voicebanks I’ll want to use, obviously the Kagamines would be a good choice because having a male and female option packaged together is cool, but the Zolas are also a package deal and have a bit more variation amongst them. I’m not sure how well they do English though, since they’re not built for it. I mean I guess people won’t really care, people still seem to be big fans of the Vflower English songs even though she’s also not built for english *or the genre most of those songs are* and they eat them up anyway. The Zolas are also less marketable than the Kagamines or Vflower, though. Also I guess Miku is an option and probably an inevitability if I do start making vocaloid music but I don’t need to start with her, you know? Idk maybe I’ll keep working on song stuff and consider which vocal fits the best, maybe I’ll draw them a bit too, see how much demand there is.

I haven’t been doing any comic work because I’ve still been sick, plus now I’m waffling since I don’t have a big animation project anymore and I guess I could fill the void by making that project an animation, but I’m still unsure. It might be smart to do both, and at a minimum my thumbnailing out the comic makes sure that everything is paced correctly and the dialogue flows. Tonight I’m hoping to pick back up where I left of before I got sick: I had finished the first third of the first ‘episode’, and was moving on to act 2.

Today especially I’ve been bit by the TTRPG bug again and kinda want to write out and draw stuff for that, but normally I do my best conceptual writing while I’m delirious in bed after my sleep medicine is kicked in but before I fall asleep. I stayed up late last night alternating between chemistry homework and playing ghost trick so tonight should be a good night for writing. Maybe I’ll get more comic outline writing done too, who knows.

And finally I also just really need to get more drawings done. I posted those epithet challenge ones the other day, which people seem to like. And I really want to do a drawing of Lynne, I like her because she reminds me of an OC of mine, can’t say which one or why though because that’s a spoiler for both characters. I really need to do more art in general, so I threw together a wheel of small little doodles to do, but all that still relies on me having free time, which is a lot scarcer now that I’m working. Still, if I get back into the habit of chugging out those comic pages, I can probably do a little more.

I’m still not sure what to do tonight. I keep flipping back and forth over whether I want to do music or drawing, and end up with little in the way of posting. I did find out that I can post audio to tumblr easy now, so I’ll try to do that more often. Idk. I’m exhausted from today specifically, and this past week has been busy, but I’m hoping it’ll die down and I can do more this upcoming week.

[dk-wren]

It's a day late, but here's a little update for WIP Wednesday!

Finally had time to work on a fic that was supposed to be ready for Kazurei week (oops). I have just a bit more to write and then editing it, but hoping to have it finished by the end of the weekend!

Hope you enjoy!

Rei stared at his reflection in the mirror. He had just finished tying his red tie, the final piece of what used to be his “uniform” when completing a hit. “Can’t believe I’m wearing this again,” Rei mumbled to himself. After the events at Suwa Manor a few Christmases ago, he hadn’t technically sworn to never wear a suit again, but he didn’t like all the memories associated with wearing one. Kazuki insisted on cleaning both of their bloodied and shredded clothes right after they got back from Miri’s Christmas party, so the suit itself was clean and had been collecting dust in Rei’s closet ever since. Rei tended to push it towards the side of his closet so he wouldn’t have to look at it too often. He didn’t particularly care for the suit to be hanging right in front of him whenever he got changed, pressed and clean, as if ready to be worn on his next assignment. Luckily though, that next assignment never came.  “Two, three years ago was it?” Rei thought to himself. “So much has happened since that day I don’t even remember how long it’s been since I’ve worn this suit.” At least to Rei, “so much” meant the ins and outs of “normal” life: washing the dishes, attempting to do the weekly marketing, spending a lazy weekend morning with Kazuki and Miri-everything that signaled to Rei, he was no longer just a living weapon. Signaling instead that he was part of a family, and one that loved him for who he was, and giving it his all when it came to his new title, Papa. Seeing that the three of them had been living together and operating as a family unit for some time, Kazuki threw out the suggestion of finding a local photo studio and having their picture taken. It wasn’t something Kazuki had really considered doing, but one night when their family was playing a card game on Kazuki and Rei’s bed, Miri noticed a framed picture of Kazuki and Yuzuko sitting on one of his bedside shelves. She pointed it out and asked if that was her Papa Kazuki and “Auntie Yuzuko,” drawing Kazuki and Rei’s attention to the little photo. Kazuki smiled and told her, “Yes, it is, Miri. We had that photo taken right before she passed. We didn’t know at the time it would be one of the last we took, but I’m glad to have it.” Rei caught the slightest glimmer of sadness pass over Kazuki’s face before perking back up at Miri gushing how dressed up and pretty they looked in their picture. A few days of contemplating later, Kazuki threw out the idea of having family photos taken to Rei to see what he thought, that is before he brought it up to Miri who he predicted would be all over the idea. “Sort of like making our little family official official,” Kazuki explained when pitching the idea. Rei sat watching Kazuki as he seemed lost in his thoughts for the next few moments, before continuing on, “Maybe this is a dumb idea. I think I was just fixating on the memory after Miri pointed it out. We don’t have to go get our picture taken if you don’t want to, I mean we have plenty of other photos with all of us, which I’d say still count as proof that we really are a family,” Kazuki finished. 

I guess for a little bit of context, this was meant for the Day 1 prompt "Firsts"

-Dakota Wren

[1-deadgirlwalking-1]

7/6/2024

it is 5:59am. I didn’t sleep obvi. I’ve been staying up all night for. Like two months straight at this point. Less than a handful of regular night sleeps. I go outside only a handful of times in a week most of the time, and 95% of those times is going outside for two seconds to hand something to my dad then go back in immediately after. Going out for something other than to the store is like once or twice a month. Generally.

I’ve become practically addicted to AI chats. I keep deleting then redownloading apps because I’ll spend hours on them doing nothing, until I am forced to delete them because I can’t stop. Then I’m like “Oh, I’ll redownload it and use it moderately this time!!” And the cycle continues.

There are my most general life / mental updates.

Theoretically I want to get better but the safety and comfort of my bed is too alluring! I don’t want to leave it. I don’t want to go outside. Scary.

I was watching Bocchi the Rock recently, and her complaining that joining a band didn’t fix all her unhelpful habits made me realize that getting friends won’t fix all my unhelpful habits or make me healthy and stable either.

Not having friends or not going outside or not doing this or that is not the root of all my problems, it’s all just me, and I’m the only one who can change me. Which upsets me. I don’t wanna get better I wanna sleep. All day forever and ever. Getting better is too much work. I don’t wanna do anything ever. But I want to be better and do things, but I also don’t. Grr.

I don’t want to do anything. Sigh. I wanna wallow in my own misery and go back to all the old unhelpful habits I have gotten rid of. They’re comforting. It’s easier. It feels good. Getting better DOESN’T feel good, it feels unfamiliar, and like I’m always doing everything wrong.

I wish it was night time forever. Stay awake in bed forever. No one else but me because they’re all asleep. I wish I was nocturnal.

Also Bocchi is literally me. I too fear that I won’t break out of my bad habits by the time the invisible timer in my head goes off and I’ll be forced to become a corporate slave where I’ll just get fired over and over because I’m so bad that no job will want me, and after I grow tired of that I’ll eventually become a NEET leeching off of my poor parents. Technically I am a NEET right now since it’s summer…

I wish I was in Bocchi’s position. She’s living the shut-in with no friend’s dream. The whole show people just keep approaching her and forcefully becoming her friends, giving her things to do, and places to be (+ a job). I WISH. But alas, the onus is on me to make my life better.

I’ll be going to sleep now because the sun has come up and it scares me. I don’t wanna be awak.

It is 7:51pm. I’m working on some art fights. I’ve finished 5 attacks in two days cause I’ve just been making memes. They’re much easier and less intimidating to draw than poses and stuff. Easier to make look neat, easier to finish.

But my (only) IRL friend attacked me so I have to attack them back, I will make something nice looking for them! Even if it’s just a sketch.

I’m feeling less terrible about the concept of getting better and doing the work myself now that it’s not 6:30 in the morning. But it’s still so intimidating, and like “Do I haaave tooo…” Blehh.

[everygame]

Llamasoft: The Jeff Minter Story

Developed/Published by: Jeff Minter, Digital Eclipse / Digital Eclipse Released: 13/04/2024 Completed: n/a Completion: Played and viewed all of “The Early Years” and part way through "The Hairy Years" and still digging into the rest of it.

I know, I can’t believe it either. Every Game I’ve Finished topical for two weeks and even posting a write up of a game on its day of release (well, for supporters, anyway). It’s like I’m a games journalist again (spit).

I was hugely excited for this after enjoying what I’ve played of Atari 50 (better than those flashback collections!) and The Making of Karateka, and although this is absolutely, 100% not what I would choose to put out if I was attempting to be commercial after The Making of Karateka, I’ve gotta say… fair play to them. Though they’re pretty much nailing their flag in the terrain that says the Gold Master Series is not so much The Criterion Collection of games as it is like… Vinegar Syndrome or something. I mean there’s nothing wrong with that! Someone’s gotta put out deluxe versions of Bruno Mattei films [checks notes] oh hang on, no.

(To be fair, it’s actually a lot more like my buddy Justin’s boutique label Gold Ninja Video, which actually does insane work to put out work by filmmakers who should absolutely be known better.)

Anyway. They say there’s a stonking 42 games on this, but that’s a slight exaggeration because there’s technically on 33 different games with a few offering different versions based on system (Gridrunner, for example, is on VIC-20, C64, Atari 8-bit and as a remastered version) and most of the games are pre-1985 so there’s a lot of stuff here that’s really only going to be of interest if you like diving into some very dusty cupboards. This is something I honestly enjoy very much, so I loved pulling out a VIC-20 game and trying to make sense of it, but for many, I assume, the main draw here is the fact that it’s a proper re-release of his beloved Tempest 2000, a well that Minter has been back to a bunch of times–I loved TxK to pieces. It’s a slight bummer that this doesn’t re-release Minter’s more recent games which have been delisted like the iOS “Minotaur Project” (of which only a couple of games have been re-released as Minotaur Arcade.) However, it seems pretty obvious that would be a ton of fucking work to port, as would, say, getting a Nuon emulator up to spec so people could play Tempest 3000, so that's... fine.

(There’s also no Defender 2000, but that’s rights issues, and as far as I remember people don’t think that’s any great shakes.)

Presentation-wise, you know what to expect with this release, the same wrapper as in Atari 50 and The Making of Karateka with some different colours and music. This is fine! I think I’ve settled into this three releases in. You get a ton of interesting images, details, and box art to look at, though I still have issues with the layout of the documentary/museum (I can't remember which terminology Digital Eclipse would prefer.) I have small quibbles: in “The Early Years” if you go through it in order you play a version of Bomber on ZX Spectrum before they introduce the system into the narrative (admittedly the kind of thing you won't spot unless you're brutally anal on these kind of things like myself.) Then the final video you watch recaps everything you’ve just learned in a way that makes you feel like it should either have come first, or been split up into more videos. 

But I’d argue there’s deeper structural issues if you’re really trying to get people excited about video game history, and I again place it at the decision to go pure chronological* (as I did in The Making of Karateka.) If you play each game as you go, you’ll play a series of games so old and so ropey that you have to already be interested in this story to see it out. If you don’t know why you should care about Jeff Minter, I’m sorry, but a video of some talking heads and then immediately playing 3D3D, a baffling and slow first person maze game for ZX81 that has literally no analogue in the entire rest of his career is… not going to help! And I have to again bang on that I feel they just don’t place the games in enough context of the wider games industry at the time.

(*There's a quirk in that it's not exactly chronological, because all the Atari 8-bit ports are later in the documentary, which is a bit weird when you, for example, play two versions of Gridrunner and then the Atari 8-bit version several games later. I'm unclear on the exact reason if it, and if you're going to be even that irreverent, feels like you might want to just wildly reorder the whole thing for the audience anyway.)

I think Digital Eclipse’s counter overall would be that I probably want something more verbose and detailed which wouldn’t be as accessible, which isn't wrong. They might even argue that I'm basing my criticism on a hypothetical consumer who isn't even their intended audience! It's a hard line to ride, but I’d still argue that there’s a sense for storytelling in the curation here that’s missing--and I really don't want them to limit their audience because as critical as I might be, I love this series already and I want it to go on forever.

So yes, this is still the exact kind of thing I want to be released and if it’s opening up people to learning more about Jeff Minter and Llamasoft on their own time then I think it’s brilliant. I just think that anyone who picks this up who isn't already steeped in this era needs to be a bit forgiving and skip past all the ropey old games after looking at them for a couple of minutes tops and just enjoy reading the text and watching the videos until they get to the good stuff, so consider this fair warning before you buy it (because you should buy it.)

I mean if you only want this to play Tempest 2000 (and Llamatron 2112, actually) there’s nowt wrong with that, and that’s already worth the money.

Will I ever play it again? I’m still working through it!

Final Thought: I will, of course, be playing every game on this, and although I won’t be giving every Llamasoft release a full post, I have at least started with a write-up of each of the games in "The Early Years", as an introduction to the kind of things you’d be playing if you pick this up (and which sadly explains why you probably won’t want to play most of them... it gets better by the time you get to The Hairy Years, and significantly). If you want to read it, it's a supporter-only post over at my ko-fi. I suppose saying that makes my usual please subscribe stinger a bit pointless but let's hammer the point home why not. Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up a digital copy of exp. 2600, a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[genmakesmedia]

alternative narrative project ideas: my planning process

By now, I've spoken about how long it takes me to choose an idea in several posts, so I figured I’d give an example to back that up! Because my creative process sure is a process.

Okay, a bit of background about this project: we decided as a group that our theme would be "Reflection of Childhood" on the 20th of February, and the project was due in on the 10th of April. This gave us roughly a month and a half to conceptualise and produce our artefacts, alongside coding the website and writing our reflections.

I finalised my concept maybe two or three weeks before the project deadline.

You might be wondering: what happened? It's a good question - a great question, even - and I'd also quite like to know, to be honest. So let's examine:

My original idea was a physical stop-motion animation drawn entirely on paper with crayons. After some sketches, and experimenting, this turned out to be a logistical nightmare. For a start, to produce 60 seconds of smooth animation I probably would have needed an entire tree's worth of paper, and that felt expensive and wasteful.

So then I altered my idea slightly - I would complete the animation digitally doing what I'd initially planned, and just using brushes that looked like crayon to produce the same effect - easy fix! I now knew I wanted to work with the idea of “firsts” as my age bracket was so young, and so a lot of planning took place here.

However, when it came to actually animating, I kept finding that nothing was really looking how I wanted it to. The style didn’t lend itself well to much movement, apart from an animation boil of flat colour, and that felt lazy - though I did end up with some pretty cool title and transitional frames I wish I could have used:

I thought about how I could have a more visually interesting concept that still fit the era of childhood that I was working with, and that was when I came up with the idea of working in the style of a children’s tv show - I felt it almost fit better thematically, honestly, because I’m a lot more nostalgic about the shows I used to watch than any drawings I might have done. So I mocked up a few example animations. Unfortunately I only have screenshots from them, as Tumblr has a 1 video per post rule, but I was pretty happy with myself for this idea (though truthfully was worried by both my technical ability and the timeframe I had to work with, as animation takes a lot longer the more detailed it is).

I finally figured out an idea I liked after absently experimenting with a simple animation of a character spinning around - this ended up being the final frame of my actual animation (read that post here) which ironically enough I finished first. First of all I storyboarded, and then put together a Google slideshow with some references for bits of animation and concepted the character in full so I knew what her personality should be like.

It doesn’t look like so much when it’s all laid out, but I also spent an extensive amount of time thinking about the project and doing work that I’d end up deleting a couple of hours later because it wasn’t looking right.

My process looks similar every time I have a creative project, and I’ve been thinking hard about how I could reduce the time it takes. I think maybe taking the time to create a mindmap and visually get out as many of my ideas as possible could help me to figure out which ones are the most possible/realistic faster, so I’m definitely going to try that next time instead of just jumping straight in to my first idea.

[oliviapas]

Writing Initiative #6

Which piece did you present to the class today? How does it relate to the other pieces previously presented?

Describe 2–3 specific strengths your classmates found in your work and their reasons for identifying them.

Describe 1–2 specific ways your classmates thought you could improve this work going forward.

Consider the remaining outcome yet to be presented in a couple of weeks; why have you put it off the longest? Describe your reasons for presenting this outcome last.

Finally, you have now had a chance to present each of your projects (2D, 3D, 4D, Reflective) in process to the class. Produce an image of each one and describe how an aspect of your word is manifested in each piece.

Today I discussed my idea for my 3D piece. I feel like I had trouble talking about it and explaining, especially because I’ve been feeling really frustrated with the progress on my 4D. I’ve never had a coding issue like this where it’s been this hard to solve, and it’s frustrating that I can’t just call it done. I feel like it’s been sucking too much time and I need to be spending more on my 3D! I didn’t talk about it today but I have made more progress on my Reflective and I’m not worried about finishing it, but 3D has been going slowly. I want to focus on the idea of the imaginary that is part of my word, since it’s an imaginary yet never-fading flower. I think AR is perfect for this, since it is technically imaginary and also since it is digital it never fades. I’d like to make a sort of sticker for it that can be placed on any wall using Adobe Aero, but the problem lies in what the subject should be. I gathered some research to get friends to draw a flower from their imagination, thus an imaginary flower, and I think it would be cool to compile something from that. It relates to my previous pieces in that it again follows the flower part of my word but since I have already covered the mythology, growth, and never-fading ideas of my word in my other assignments, I think tacking the imaginary part makes sense.

In class, my classmates had some good suggestions for me. Ideas were making some kind of quilt or a patchwork of ideas into a gardening item like gloves. Also had the suggestion of compiling the drawn flowers all into one, which I think makes sense; picking common elements and making one thing. I thought the other patchwork ideas were cool but didn’t really make sense with my word, but patch-working the flowers themselves I think could work since again it’s making a flower from imagination, and it doesn’t exist, much like the myth of the amaranth (the flower does exist in reality, but the myths say it doesn’t). I think the idea of AR went over well, but I think I didn’t explain things very well so my peers didn’t really see my idea, but I also don’t have a clear vision so that’s very fair.

At this time, I don’t have anything finished enough for 3D, but I have images of the progress on the rest of my assignments:

Seed packets: Following the more literal definition of the word, these seed packets are designed for popular amaranth varieties. I used amaranth (the colour) as a big part of the design.

Amaranth game: For my game, I focused on the mythology behind my word, as there is a Greek myth about the flower being hidden by the gods and the finder can become immortal. I also used amaranth the colour as a big part of the game.

Reflective document: I wanted to consider the never-fading idea of my word, since amaranth is defined as an immortal, never-fading flower. I thought, what is more immortal than the web? I wanted to play on nostalgia of early HTML websites and GeoCities. This also looks a lot like the first website I ever made, and I really wanted to lean into that 90s/2000s web aesthetic.

[dokidokitsuna]

Betrayers...?

This is the first new piece I’ve done since I hurt my arm last week...turns out, using new drawing paper that’s 5x more difficult to make marks on will put 5x the strain on your wrist. Who knew?? ^^;;;

I’m still healing, to be honest...but having to go so long without drawing ANYTHING made me rethink a few of my ambitions-- like making SSS a comic, for one. It’s been 10 months since I first introduced the concept, and I just haven’t done enough relative to that time. At this point, it’s so old that a new idea is bound to overtake it in the coming months, so even if I wanted to get serious I wouldn’t have time to finish it anyway. :T

Like I said before, I enjoyed writing the script, and I’d still like to draw it all out someday. BUT, in case I cannot, I might as well treat it like a normal AU and draw pictures of all the fun stuff while there’s still time. The spoiler safeguards are coming off!

This was probably the biggest one; that Susie (and Mags) were gonna end up turning to the dark side. ^^ Kind of...it’s complicated. I’ve already explained that Star Paragon and his ilk aren’t so much ‘evil’ as they are apathetic, so if you can join their ranks and get them to trust you, you have free rein to do pretty much whatever you want with their resources.

In this respect, Mags is purely an opportunist: he has one (1) objective, he openly admits to using both the invaders and Susie to complete that objective, and once that’s done, he kinda disappears.

Susie, on the other hand, is very deeply entrenched in the plot, and takes the role of the Sentai’s main antagonist for a long time. She’s also a little mentally altered in this role, which is something she did to herself AND something her character development revolves around. I have a lot more to say and draw about her, so stay tuned~

Anyway...although I drew these two together, they rarely work together and don’t even like each other. ^^; Well, technically, part of Susie cares for Mags very deeply (stay tuned for that, too) but she is also the reason his glasses are broken now, so...yeah. :T I don’t want to say their relationship as villains is toxic or abusive per se...let’s just say it’s unhealthy and leave it at that. Now that I think about it though, if they were willing to fight together they’d be pretty OP as a team...maybe just once...

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.